#like i turned around and swung instinctively bc i was scared. and i was absolutely SHOCKED when that made the reaper actually flinch

[windtheremin]

I've been playing Phantom Hourglass for the first time, and I think one of my favorite parts about it is that you can actually fight the phantoms. If you're getting chased down and know you can't get away, you can turn around and swing your sword at them, and it works. They flinch and block you with their shield- no damage is dealt and you have to keep swinging nonstop to keep them from hitting you- the moment you stop you're almost definitely dead. But the fact that you can actually look at these terrifying, massive, unkillable wardens, stop running and decide "No, I ain't dying here", and physically fight back against them and it can actually work if you just barely manage to slip away at the perfect moment- it's just SO fucking cool to me.

Scrappy little bastard, this kid.

[grapesodatozier]

Dreamboat

summary: Richie’s his pining mess self, and it only gets worse when he has sex dreams about Eddie every night for a week. Eddie asks him why he’s been avoiding him all week, love confessions and smut ensues~

tags/warnings: pining-typical angst and guilt in the beginning, but it’s all resolved by the end! also, this is top!eddie/bottom!richie bc i haven’t written that dynamic in forever, gotta balance the scales lol

this didn’t need to be 7k words, but it is lmao enjoy

(also, if you wanna be taken off or added to my taglist, lmk! i have one for reddie fics and one for all of my fics, so please specify which one you’d like to be added to. thanks!)

read on ao3 or below!

notsfw below the cut!

Richie could not believe this was happening a-fucking-gain. This was the fourth time this week that he’d woken up hard after a dream about Eddie. He ran his hands over his face and groaned, his skin burning from his face down his chest. Guilt sank low in his stomach as he shut off his alarm and stared up at the ceiling of his dorm room. 

Guilt, and a sizable helping of heartbreak.

It had felt so real. He could still feel dream-Eddie’s fingertips ghosting over his skin. He could feel his tongue teasing over Richie’s own, so soft and warm and the perfect balance of rough and smooth. He could feel Eddie grinding against him. He could picture so vividly Eddie dropping to his knees, a sweet smirk on his face as he—

No. Fuck, fuck, no. Richie breathed in sharply through his nose and scrunched his eyes shut, willing his aching boner to go down. The emotional come down helped, realizing he would never get to touch Eddie like that, would never get to know what he felt like, how he liked to be touched. He tried to ignore it, he really did, he’d been trying to get over it for years. But how was he supposed to get over someone like Eddie? Richie had never felt his heart flip like it did around Eddie. He’d realized one day in the seventh grade that Eddie’s laugh made him feel different than anyone else’s, warmer. He wanted to know that Eddie was okay all the time, and he selfishly wanted to be the one to make him happy. His heart sang every time Eddie chose to sit next to him. The first time Eddie rested his head on his shoulder Richie thought he was gonna vomit. But, like, in a good way. 

So yeah, being in love with Eddie was par for the course. It was a part of Richie as much as his freckles and knobby elbows. But these dreams… He’d had a few before, scattered here and there across the years, but he’d managed to black them out. One or two flukes was okay, right? He’d had a sex dream or two about Bill before. Hell, he’d had sex dreams about a cashier he saw once at a Burger King. It was fine. The mind was a weird thing.

But four in a week? That was different. It made him feel like a fucking creep; he made his own skin crawl. And they were so vivid. How could he look at Eddie now? How could he let Eddie touch him, not knowing what Richie had dreamt of those hands doing? 

He bit his lip as he thought about it, the most confusing mix of arousal and shame blooming in his chest. He only came back to his senses when he tasted copper on his tongue. He did his best to shove the thoughts aside as he swung his legs over the side of his bed, halfheartedly tossing his comforter back toward the top of his bed before deciding to smooth it down more neatly. He took another deep breath and ran his hand through his hair, trying to collect himself enough to pick out an outfit for the day. He just needed to locate a shirt, boxers, and pants. And socks. God, why did that feel difficult?

Showering didn’t help clear his mind. Cocoa puffs didn’t help. Not even his acting class could help; his teacher just had them lying on yoga mats that smelled like disinfectant and stale rubber doing breathing exercises for the first half of class, which did absolutely nothing to calm him down or take his mind off of the fact that it was Friday, which meant movie night in Bill and Mike’s room. Nights when Richie and Eddie “fought” over who got to sit on the giant Yogibo before settling into it together, nice and dizzyingly close. 

He managed to avoid sitting next to Eddie at lunch just by luck of the draw. But Eddie was still there laughing harder than anyone else at Richie’s jokes and trying to toss things into Richie’s cup without him noticing, and it still made Richie glow, he still pretended to not notice who was throwing things at him, playing along with Eddie’s innocent shrugs and smiles until he “finally” caught him, which in turn made Eddie burst into giggles that were so precious they made Richie want to cry. And then after lunch Eddie came up to Richie and touched him on the arm, making him jump like he’d touched a hot stove. 

“Jesus, you good?” Eddie asked with a confused smile.

“Yeah, must be the static electricity,” Richie said, fumbling over his words, “or the fluorescents.” 

Eddie gave him a look, but he was still smiling. “Okay, that was bad, even for you.” Richie gave a small laugh. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Do you wanna go to the Auburn to study? This stupid fucking poetry class is melting my brain, so I think you owe me a scone as compensation for making me sign up for it.”

Richie’s heart ached. There was nothing he wanted more than to fuck around with Eddie at one of the too-small tables at their favorite little coffee shop downtown. But then he was looking at Eddie’s lips and the guilt was rising in him again like bile. Or maybe it was actual bile. Richie clicked his tongue. “Sorry, you know I’d love to treat my little muffin to a scone, but I’ve got a paper to write and you know they turn the wifi off Friday to Sunday.” 

The disappointment on Eddie’s face made Richie’s chest ache. “Okay, well, I’ll see you tonight then.” 

“Wear those panties I like,” he winked, his mouth getting ahead of him as usual. God, Richie wanted to kick himself. And maybe puke. But Eddie left him with a smile and a playful shove, so Richie figured he wasn’t in too much trouble. 

Richie, Stan, and Patty had been tasked with getting the pizza that night, so the three of them showed up to Bill and Mike’s after everyone else. Richie’s heart did flips when he saw Eddie lying sprawled across the giant bean bag, just like he always did when he beat Richie to it. He blushed when Eddie met his eyes and beamed, leaping up and bounding over to him. He nearly choked on his tongue when Eddie draped himself over his arm, having to get up on his tiptoes to rest his chin on Richie’s shoulder. Richie instinctively crouched down a bit to accommodate him. 

“Did you get barbecue chicken?” Eddie asked, batting his eyes.

“I’m offended you would even have to ask,” Richie grinned as he opened the box. The others were scrambling around the boxes, trying to get slices of their choice, but Richie’s long arms gave him an advantage.

“Will you get me a slice?” Eddie asked.

“And let you get to the Yogibo first? I may be pretty but I’m not stupid.” Richie grinned as he lifted his plate far above Eddie’s head and spun around, finally able to breathe once he no longer had to worry about the electric feeling of Eddie leaning against him.

“You’re gonna regret that, Tozier,” Eddie huffed, but he could never hide his smile. 

“Ooh, last names,” Richie grinned as he plopped himself down on the beanbag, fully spread eagle. “I’m scared now.”

Eddie stuck his tongue out at him before ducking under Bill’s arm to get at the pizza he was going for. Richie really tried not to linger on how cute that was. 

However, it was becoming quickly apparent that Richie was not going to be able to avoid those thoughts, as well as his less savory ones. As soon as Eddie got his pizza, he was standing over Richie with one hand on his hip. Richie made sure to look at his face and not his thighs, which his movie night sleep shorts left on full display. Richie didn’t dare let himself look down, because right then he was wondering if he’d be able to see up Eddie’s shorts from this angle. God, he bet he could. “I was sitting there,” Eddie groused. 

Normally Richie would’ve replied with something crude, would’ve grabbed his crotch with an obnoxious wink and said, “I’ve got a seat all warmed up for you right here, baby.” But now his stomach twisted at that, and when Richie managed to stop himself from saying something he struggled to come up with something else. So all he could manage was a halfheartedly sarcastic, “Here?” 

He pointed to what he thought was the beanbag, but Eddie apparently had something else in mind. “Yeah,” he smiled before dropping himself into Richie’s lap with a grace and bounce that left Richie breathless. “Right here.” 

Eddie looked so smug, and he was on Richie’s lap, and Richie could feel the situation getting real bad for him real fast. So, setting the slices of pizza aside so as to not earn himself any disappointed looks or lectures from Bill and Mike about respecting and maintaining the cleanliness of their space, he grabbed Eddie by the waist, doing his best to ignore his own rushing blood and the amused look on Eddie’s face. “Alright, short stack, you ever try asking a guy to move over?” With Eddie lifted, Richie scooted over to one side of the bean bag, then plopped Eddie on the other. Richie couldn’t decipher the look Eddie was giving him, but it somehow was making him even hotter under the collar than Eddie sitting in his lap had. 

Richie thought he was safe when Eddie huffed and grabbed his pizza, but he barely had three seconds to breathe before Eddie was wriggling his way across the bean bag to press himself against Richie. “You’re taking up the whole thing,” he grumbled as he tucked himself against Richie. Richie could not have been closer to the edge of the bean bag, but he didn’t have the breath in his lungs to say that. Every time he breathed he could smell Eddie’s shampoo, clean and fresh and somewhat minty. Richie shovelled his pizza into his mouth so he wouldn’t have to respond. And to give himself something to do with his arms other than wrapping them around Eddie and pulling him closer. 

Richie could not for the life of him focus on the movie. He felt like he was dropping on a rollercoaster, but it had been twenty minutes and the feeling hadn’t stopped. Eddie kept shifting, but never away from him, and Richie was going to lose his mind. Then, Eddie leaned up to whisper something to Richie, and he couldn’t even process what he was saying, just that the feeling of Eddie’s breath warm and soft on his neck was going to make him pop a boner. Eddie’s face was so close to his, and his hand was on Richie’s chest, and Richie couldn’t stop seeing his dreams playing on repeat. 

Eddie’s tongue in his mouth.

Eddie’s hands running down from his chest, to his stomach, lower…

Eddie on his knees, Eddie in Richie’s lap, Eddie on top of him, inside—

“Well!” Richie exclaimed, rolling off the Yogibo with the grace of a newborn calf, popping up to the fond annoyance of his friends, “I do say, nature calls, so pip pip and tally-ho, off I must go to the loo.”

“Seriously?” Eddie groaned.

“Hey, you’re the one who’s always telling me to stay hydrated!” Richie retorted. “You’ve only got yourself to blame for this waterfall.” Really? he thought to himself. Yeah, that’s gonna get him to like you. Nice one, dumbass.

“You know you really don’t have to announce that,” Bev snickered, throwing Mike and Ikes at him until he reached the door.

“Alright, alright, tough crowd. Try not to miss me too much.”

He could hear Stan yelling something about not getting lost on his way back as he closed the door, finding himself alone in the hallway of Bill and Mike’s dorm.

God, fuck, he was so fucked. He had to take himself on a walk up and down the hallway just to calm himself down. Eddie made him so hot, like he was burning up. And he’d thought his feelings were messy before he started having the dreams. Eddie whispering to him like that, touching him like that… He knew when he got back in the room that he couldn’t do it. He felt a guilt heavy in his stomach when he plopped down next to Bill, squeezing himself in obnoxiously, but he knew he couldn’t be next to Eddie just then, not without crawling out of his skin. 

He ignored the weird look Bill gave him, the weird looks everyone gave him. He ignored the way Eddie kept glancing over at him, looking so small sitting on the bean bag by himself. He ignored the aching in his chest when Eddie asked Ben and Bev to walk him home instead of Richie. He told himself this was better as he walked home alone, that yeah, he missed Eddie’s banter, he missed the sleepy way he would bump into Richie, but it was better this way, better to get some distance and let the dreams peter out. Maybe if he didn’t touch Eddie, maybe if he didn’t see him for a few days he’d get his lips out of his mind, maybe he could forget the way Eddie’s skin felt against his own, and then the dreams would stop. Things could go back to normal if he could just stay away for a bit.

But that night only brought another dream, one filled with moans and giggles and Eddie’s hands and tongue all over him, inside of him. Another dream that had his blood rushing to his cock. 

He woke up hard and grinding against his mattress. His mind still lingering in the dream, the sensations still fresh in his mind, warming his skin, Richie rolled over onto his back and desperately shoved his hands down his boxers. He stroked himself tight and fast and came into his fist in under a minute, his toes curling and his breath coming out in gasping moans. It took a minute for his mind to clear. Once it did, his blissful haze shattered pretty abruptly. “Fuck,” he muttered, reaching for the roll of toilet paper on his desk to wipe his hand off with. He tossed the wad at his trash can with way more force than necessary before angrily throwing his sheets and comforter off of himself. He needed a fucking shower. A cold one. 

He didn’t get why the fuck this kept happening. Like, fuck, the dreams were amazing, sure. But Eddie was never gonna touch him like that. He could dream and fantasize all he wanted, but that was all he was ever gonna get.

He dodged Saturday brunch, grabbing a cinnamon roll from the dining hall and eating it in his room alone. He ignored Bill’s text asking if he wanted to talk about the night before. He holed up in his room and threw himself into the essay he had to write, hoping that that would be enough to make him forget. But finding quotes didn’t exactly scratch the same itch, and his mind kept drifting to Eddie, always Eddie, whispering in his ear, touching his chest on the bean bag the night before. There was no song he could blast loud enough to get it out of his mind.

It was around three when Richie heard an insistent knocking at his door. He paused the music and groaned, figuring Bill had come by to talk to him. But when he opened the door, Eddie was standing there with his arms crossed. Richie’s heart stopped. “Hey,” he said, “wasn’t expecting you. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

But Eddie was already pushing past him into his room. Richie closed the door; the pout on Eddie’s face made him figure this was about to be a door closed kind of conversation. Which made him want to vomit, but here they were. Eddie took a breath, paused, then finally blurted out, “Did I do something wrong?”

Richie’s head was spinning. “What?”

“You’ve been weird all week.” Shitshitshitshit. “You didn’t wanna study together, you sat next to Bill last night, you haven’t called me Eds in days—” Eddie cut himself, his voice breaking and eyes falling to the floor. Richie’s heart was beating so hard he was pretty sure he’d be able to see bruises on his chest in a few hours. “So, what, are you mad at me? ‘Cause whatever I did, I’m sorry, but I don’t know what I did, I don’t know why you’re avoiding me like this.”

“Eddie,” Richie started, stepping toward him. He reached his hand out, but let it drop. He was so torn. Eddie looked so small, so sad and confused, all Richie wanted to do was scoop him up into his arms and make everything better. But how could he touch him? How could he make this better? How could he explain what was wrong without scaring Eddie off? “Fuck, Eddie, I don’t know what to tell you.”

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because Eddie’s eyes started filling with tears. “So, what? You just don’t like me anymore?”

“What? No, fuck no, Eddie, jesus, I love you!” Richie blurted. Every nerve in his body was screaming at him to run out the door, to get the fuck out of there, to not say anything more. But fuck it, he couldn’t see Eddie cry and do nothing. Grossing him out was better than hurting him, right? Eddie didn’t say anything, but he wiped a tear away and stood up a little taller, his eyes wide, urging Richie to go on. Richie took a tentative step closer before deciding against it and leaning against his bed. “Fuck, this is so awkward. Um. So, okay, so I’ve been acting weird.”

“Yeah?” Eddie prompted, turning toward him. He started to move closer, then apparently thought better of it. 

“And I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Richie ran his hands over his face, pushing his glasses up then readjusting them. “Fuck,” he said with a humorless laugh. “So um. So you’ve kinda been livin’ rent free in my dreams this week.”

Eddie gave him a confused look. 

God he was gonna have to spell it out, wasn’t he? “Like…” Richie mimed jerking himself off. Eddie raised his eyebrows. “Like, every fucking night this week.”

“Oh.” Eddie’s cheeks were pink.

“Yeah. So, you know. Kinda makes it hard to be around you knowing I’m such a fucking creep.” Richie gave a sheepish smile. 

Eddie gave him a long suffering look.

“Sorry, that was supposed to come out a lot funnier than it sounded—”

“Richie,” Eddie sighed, walking over to him. Richie straightened up, his heart in his throat as Eddie stood right in front of him. “You’re not a creep for having some wet dreams.” He gave him a smile and smacked him playfully on the chest. “I can’t believe that’s the whole reason you’ve been a dick this week.”

“Yeah, but it’s different,” Richie said before he could stop himself, thoughts flooding out on their own. 

“Why? Because we’re friends? I mean, sure, maybe every night for a week is kind of a lot, but I can’t say I’m not flattered.” He smiled then, but it softened, and he took Richie’s hand in his, running his thumb comfortingly over Richie’s skin. “I’m definitely not creeped out.”

You have to tell him, Richie’s mind screamed at him. You have to fucking tell him. If you don’t tell him now you never will. “Not just because we’re friends,” he whispered, his voice shaking. He tried to slip his hand out of Eddie’s, but Eddie just held him tighter as he looked into Richie’s eyes, waiting for more of an explanation. “I’m kinda, like… in love with you.” He waved his free hand in a ta-da motion, hoping to god that he could joke his way into making this less painful for both of them. Eddie’s eyes widened, but he didn’t let go, he didn’t move or say anything, and fuck, what was Richie supposed to with that? Fill the fucking silence was his go-to, so he started rambling, but nothing that came out was funny. “So, it’s like, the dreams are shit I’ve thought of, y’know? And I feel really fucking gross, because like, I’d do it. And I didn’t want you to find that out and think that I was taking advantage of you or whatever by letting you cuddle me and shit, because, fuck, when you were whispering to me last night, and pressing against me, I want that, y’know? You were gonna give me a fucking heart attack, and that’s weird, that’s gross, and I didn’t want you to be mad, or to leave me—” He broke on that and had to bite his lip to keep himself from crying.

“Richie,” Eddie sighed, pulling him down into his arms. Richie collected himself as Eddie held him, slowly bringing his arms around Eddie, trying to process what was happening. 

“You’re not mad?” he asked as he pulled away. Eddie cupped his face, and Richie couldn’t help but lean into his hand.

“Why would I be mad? All you’ve done is love me back.”

Richie’s eyebrows lifted hopefully. “Back?”

“Yes, back,” Eddie grinned. “I love you, too. I’m in love with you, too.”

“Fuck, for real?”

Eddie giggled and leaned up on his toes, bringing his lips to Richie’s. Richie placed his hands lightly on Eddie’s waist, kissing him back softly, making sure this was all happening, that touching him like this was okay. Once he was sure he wasn’t being pranked, he wrapped his arms around Eddie and pulled him closer, kissing him deeply, hungrily. God, he’d needed this for so many years, but he never could’ve prepared himself for how amazing it would feel. Eddie’s lips were so soft, so intentional with every move, and Richie could feel him smiling as he pulled him closer into him. Eddie’s arms were wrapped around his neck, their chests were pressed together, still Richie needed more, needed him closer. He needed to satiate the years and years of pining. 

“God, Eddie, Eds, my love, I love you so much.” He felt breathless and giddy to finally say it.

“I love you, too, Rich,” Eddie beamed, kissing the corner of Richie’s mouth, then his cheek, then his jaw. Richie moaned as Eddie pressed a kiss to the pulse point where Richie’s jaw met his neck and ran his hand over Richie’s chest, just like he had the night before. “So these dreams… what happened in them?” Richie shuddered at how low Eddie’s voice had gotten. “What was I doing in them?”

“Shit, what weren’t you doing?” Richie laughed breathlessly. “Sucking me off on your knees, stroking me and kissing my neck, fingering me, fucking me…”

“Yeah?” Eddie asked, his eyes sparkling. Richie gasped as Eddie’s hand travelled lower, teasing over Richie’s belt. “You want me to fuck you?” 

“Fuck, yes.” Richie’s breath trembled over the words. He had to grab the bed behind him to steady himself when Eddie’s palm pressed against Richie’s cock, which was quickly growing hard under his touch. At the same time, Eddie nuzzled his face against Richie’s neck, kissing the sensitive skin there. RIchie couldn’t help but moan and roll his hips into Eddie’s hand. “Eds, fuck…” he groaned. Eddie kept kissing his neck, his lips wet and warm and soft, and he tightened his grip on Richie a bit, the outline of Richie’s hard cock clear through his jeans by this point. 

“Is this what you want, baby?” Eddie murmured against his skin. Before Richie could gather himself to respond, Eddie was swiftly dropping to his knees. His brown eyes were wide and full of faux innocence, glittering with mischief as he looked up at Richie. “Is this what you dreamt about?”

“Yes, fuck, oh my god,” Richie whined, his voice thin and already so desperate as Eddie rubbed his face against the tent in Richie’s jeans. “Please, please, will you suck me, baby?”

“Wow, you’re so polite when you’re turned on,” Eddie mused. Then, with a wink, “I’ll keep that in mind.” God, Richie was excited to find out what Eddie meant by that, but for now he was fully occupied with watching Eddie undo his belt, then the button on his jeans, then his zipper. Richie got with the program as Eddie tugged his jeans down and stripped his shirt off, tossing it aside as he stepped out of his jeans, leaving him in his boxer briefs. He giggled at the exasperated look on Eddie’s face. “Where the fuck did you find Hello Kitty boxers?”

“What, like it’s hard?” Richie said. “You can find anything on the internet, my love.”

Eddie shook his head, but he was smiling. “I really love you,” he sighed, leaning in and pressing kisses to Richie’s stomach. He took his time trailing his lips down. “God, you’re so hot,” Eddie murmured against his skin, nuzzling into the patch of dark hair just above his waistband. “Every time your fucking shirt rides up I get half hard, can’t believe I’m finally getting my mouth on you.” Richie cursed as Eddie ran his lips over the outline of Richie’s cock. 

“Fuck, Eds, please.” Richie had one hand still supporting himself on his bed, but the other was now in Eddie’s hair. “I need you so fucking bad.” Richie felt his breath being knocked out of his chest when Eddie looked up and met his gaze as he sucked on the head of his cock through the fabric. But this time it was a fun breathlessness, the best kind of breathlessness. Feeling himself leaking, his cock throbbing, Richie let out another, “Eddie baby, please,” genuinely whining.

Eddie gave him a satisfied grin as he finally pulled Richie’s boxers down and let his cock bob up against his stomach. “Fuck, you have such a nice cock,” Eddie marvelled. Richie gasped as Eddie wrapped his fingers around him, stroking him. “Did you touch yourself after your dreams? Did you make yourself come while thinking about me?” Richie couldn’t believe Eddie, his Eddie Kaspbrak was talking to him like this. It made his head spin.

“Yes, oh fuck,” Richie groaned as Eddie lapped at the head of his cock, his tongue all pink and warm and wet. He pressed it flat against the base of Richie’s shaft and licked him all the way to the tip, never breaking eye contact as he did. “God, it feels so much better when you do it.”

“I know, baby,” Eddie purred. Richie let out a strangled moan as Eddie tongued at the sensitive bundle of nerves under the head of Richie’s cock. “Gonna make you feel so good.”

Richie had barely gotten out another, “Please,” when Eddie wrapped his lips around him and bobbed his head forward. Taking him in his mouth. Sucking on the head, making his knees shake. “Eds, fuck, oh my god,” Richie moaned. His eyes fluttered shut as Eddie took him further down his throat, but he didn’t wanna miss this. He’d already messed up Eddie’s hair, and his cheeks were pink and hollowed as he ran his tongue along Richie’s shaft, as he moved his lips over him. Eddie looked him in the eyes as he slid off with a popping sound, clearly happy with himself as he swirled his tongue around the head of Richie’s cock. To Eddie’s credit, the triumphant smirk was well-earned; Richie was already a whimpering mess, his knees trembling. “Eds, want you, please.”

“What do you want, baby?” Eddie asked. His voice was soft as he covered Richie’s cock in kisses that were so sweet in the filthiest way. 

“Wanna touch you,” Richie breathed. “Please, I need to feel you.”

Eddie groaned and pressed one more heated, sloppy kiss to Richie’s hip before standing up and bringing their lips together. Richie leaned into it, happily pliant in Eddie’s hands. He was still chasing the feeling of Eddie’s lips against his own when Eddie pulled back to pull his shirt off over his head.

“Oh fuck,” Richie muttered, staring at Eddie’s chest. Richie’s entire body burned as he drank in Eddie’s skin, the toned muscles underneath. Was he really allowed to look at him like this? Was he really allowed to let his gaze linger as long as he wanted?

His hesitation must have shown on his face. Softly, Eddie said, “Touch me.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Richie joked, but his voice shook, and his movements were slow as he brought his hands to Eddie’s chest, sliding them down to his waist and pulling him in. He saw Eddie grin, then felt it against his lips. Richie melted into it. God, Eddie’s chest felt so nice pressed against his own. He was so warm, his heartbeat right against Richie’s. As much as Richie’s heart was racing, he felt so incredibly safe. And that safety and warmth flooded into heat as Eddie shifted Richie’s hands down, guiding them to his belt. “Fuck,” Richie shuddered, fumbling to undo Eddie’s belt. He couldn’t get his hands to stop shaking.

“I got it,” Eddie giggled, gently pushing Richie’s hands away. Richie watched in awe as Eddie rid himself of his jeans, leaving himself in tented Calvin Klein boxer briefs. 

The fumbling and giggling actually helped Richie relax—enough to laugh as he pressed his lips to Eddie’s neck and palmed him through the black fabric. “You are such a brand whore.”

“Fuck you,” Eddie laughed breathlessly, bucking into Richie’s touch.

“Oh, you better, Mr. Gucci,” Richie winked. Eddie shook his head and brought his lips to Richie’s. He slid one hand down and took a hold of Richie’s wrist, guiding his movements. 

“Don’t worry, baby, we’ll get there.” Richie groaned at the low tone in Eddie’s voice; he had no idea he could sound like that. He dipped his hand past Eddie’s waistband and wrapped his hand around Eddie’s cock, unable to wait any longer. He moaned as soon as he felt him, his cock hard and smooth and warm in his hand. Kissing his neck, he stroked Eddie slowly, running his fingers over him. “Fuck, that feels so good,” Eddie moaned. “Just like that, baby, yes, fuck.” While Eddie pushed his boxers down and stepped out of them, Richie spit into his palm, wrapping it around Eddie’s cock as soon as he was ready, getting it wet. They both groaned at the slick, smooth way Richie’s hand slid over Eddie. Richie’s chest bloomed with warmth as Eddie leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Richie’s shoulder, pressing kisses to Richie’s chest. 

“You are so fucking hot,” Richie said, pressing kisses to Eddie’s hair. Then, feeling emboldened by the way Eddie moaned and rocked his hips into his fist, he continued, “Can’t fucking wait to feel you inside of me.” 

“Fuck, I love you,” Eddie groaned. He pulled Richie into him, kissing him deeply, messily, desperately. Stroking him faster, Richie kissed back, matching his passion. “Oh my god, fuck, Richie, get on the bed.”

“Holy shit, yeah, okay,” Richie breathed, scrambling to do as Eddie said. At first he sat up, unsure where to put himself. But Eddie made it clear what he wanted as he climbed between Richie’s legs and pressed his hand against Richie’s chest, guiding him to lie back. With the way Eddie draped himself over Richie’s body and brought their lips together, running his hands over Richie’s thighs, he really truly could not believe this was his life. He moaned into Eddie’s mouth as their cocks rubbed together. “I love you,” he panted as Eddie kissed down his neck. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

Eddie looked up at him and gave him a smile, pressing a kiss to his lips, one much softer than his previous ones. “So have I.”. Running his hands appreciatively over Richie’s body, he asked, “You sure about this?”

“Fuck yes,” Richie said, nodding enthusiastically. 

Eddie giggled and kissed him again. “Do you have lube and condoms?” 

“Top drawer of my desk.” As Eddie leaned over to grab them, Richie said, “God, this is actually happening, wow, okay, fuck. I’m clean by the way, like STD-free and everything, and also in the shower earlier—”

“Hey.” Richie shut up as Eddie stroked his hair. “Relax, okay? I’m gonna take care of you. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.” Richie nodded, but that wasn’t why he’d been rambling. Luckily, Eddie knew him, and he pressed a slow, deliberate kiss to Richie’s lips and told him, “You’re my best friend, you know that?” Richie let out a small breath as Eddie kissed the corner of his mouth, then his jaw, then his chest. “You are so gorgeous.”

Richie grinned. “So what you’re saying is you only like me because I’m hot?”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yes.” He cut off any response by spreading Richie’s legs. 

“Oh, fuck,” Richie moaned, happily going where Eddie guided him. The satisfied smirk on Eddie’s face made Richie glow. 

He watched, enraptured, as Eddie poured the lube onto his fingers and spread it around. He watched Eddie’s eyes track his own movements as he brought his fingers down between Richie’s legs before looking up at him. “You ready?”

“Hell yeah,” Richie said, his grin wobbly from how breathless Eddie already had him. Eddie snickered at that before circling Richie’s entrance and slowly pressing his finger inside of him. Richie gasped, his head falling back to the pillow with a broken moan. He tensed at first, but soon relaxed as he felt Eddie work him open.

“You look so good,” Eddie murmured, almost as if to himself. It made Richie blush. He really wants this, he thought to himself, He really wants me. He settled comfortably into that reassurance as Eddie pressed kisses to Richie’s thighs and hips as he worked him open, thrusting his finger in and out gently. When Richie began rocking his hips with Eddie’s movements, seeking more, Eddie complied and thrust into him faster, soon adding a second finger. Richie moaned at the stretch and spread his legs wider. “Do you like that?” Eddie asked. 

Richie could tell from his voice that he knew the answer. Still, he breathed a blissed out, “Yes,” and groaned as Eddie thrust even deeper inside of him. It felt so amazing, Eddie’s fingers filling him up, sliding in and out of him. Just as he was settling into the rhythm, his mind pleasantly warm and fuzzy, Eddie curled his fingers, sending waves of electric pleasure through Richie. “Oh my fuck—” Richie cried, arching off the bed. He twisted his fingers in the sheets as Eddie’s fingers continued to graze over his prostate, making him buzz, the pleasure so deep and so intense.

And Eddie had the nerve to fucking giggle. “What? Does that feel good?”

“God, yes, yes, oh my god, oh my fucking god, fuck,” Richie answered, his words a string of broken whimpers. As he continued massaging that sweet spot, Eddie leaned forward and licked a stripe up the underside of Richie’s cock, making him practically scream. “Eds! Fuck, fuck, not gonna—shit oh my god, I’m not gonna last if you keep doing that.” 

Eddie looked up at him, feigning innocence. “You want me to stop?” Richie was so conflicted as Eddie licked the tip of his cock in short, light strokes, making his cock throb as he lapped up the precome dripping down the head. It was fucking heaven, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out if Eddie kept going, and he needed to feel Eddie inside of him. So, reluctantly, he nodded. “Why? What do you want?”

“God, fuck me, please,” Richie whined, shamelessly impatient and petulant. 

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Eddie said. He pressed slow kisses to Richie’s hip as he slowly pulled his fingers out. Richie sat up on his elbows to watch as Eddie rolled the condom onto his cock.

“Now that’s hot,” Richie said as Eddie poured lube onto his cock and stroked it, spreading the lube around. Eddie grinned and leaned down to kiss him. Richie ran his fingers through Eddie’s hair, holding him close a moment, really feeling his lips, the way he kissed him. He melted when Eddie pulled back and nuzzled his nose against Richie’s. He straightened up a bit then and lined his cock up with Richie’s hole. Eddie gently took Richie’s chin in his hands, guiding his gaze up to meet his.

“Are you ready?”

Looking into Eddie’s eyes, warm and brown and more familiar than the back of his own hand, Richie had never been more ready for anything in his life. “Eddie, my love, I’ve been ready for this for years.” His voice was soft as he reached out and stroked Eddie’s arm. “I am so in love with you and so, so, very horny.” 

“Richie,” Eddie sighed, an exasperated but amused grin on his face. “I love you, too.” Any other words Richie might’ve said died on his tongue as he felt the head of Eddie’s cock begin to stretch him open. He held Richie’s hips still with one hand and intertwined his fingers with Richie’s with the other. “Tell me if it’s too much, or if there’s anything you don’t like, okay?” Richie nodded, squeezing Eddie’s hand. He took a deep breath as Eddie moved his hips forward, going slow, letting Richie adjust. He needed a few moments to even out his breathing and get used to the sensation; as amazing as it felt, it was a lot. Soon, however, he was pressing his lips to Eddie’s knuckles and asking him to move. He gasped as Eddie pulled his hips back, but all of the tension flowed out of his body as Eddie pushed back in. It felt so natural, having Eddie inside of him, being connected like this. He could feel every nerve in his body sighing out a finally. “How does it feel?” Eddie asked. His voice was soft as he slowly, shallowly rocked his hips. 

With a lovestruck grin on his face, Richie answered, “Perfect.” 

A look crossed Eddie’s face then, one full of love and overflowing feelings. Richie only had a second to commit it to memory before Eddie leaned down and kissed him, kissed him like he wanted to press all of those feelings into Richie’s lips to make him understand them. Richie had a feeling he would never forget what Eddie looked like in that moment, how it felt when he kissed him like that. 

He whimpered when he felt Eddie tease his tongue over his, somehow gentle and so, so dirty at the same time. Eddie groaned and leaned in further, deepening the kiss and pressing his cock even deeper into Richie. Richie moaned at how good that felt; it was so much, almost too much, but he needed more. He rolled his hips as Eddie kissed him, pressing small moans into Eddie’s mouth every time his cock brushed against Eddie’s toned stomach. Searching for something to hold onto, something to ground him, his hands ran up and down Eddie’s back, gripped at his shoulders. It felt so amazing to have him so close, to be able to linger and really appreciate the feeling of Eddie’s soft, warm skin under his hands. “I’ve wanted to hear you moan like that for me for so long,” Eddie murmured, kissing along Richie’s neck, making him shudder. 

“Feels so good,” Richie breathed, his ability to string a complete sentence together already faltering.

“Yeah?” Eddie said, smirk evident in his voice. Richie moaned and threw his head back as Eddie picked up the pace of his thrusts. Hands sliding down to Richie’s hips, holding him up a bit as he fucked him harder, Eddie told him, “Fuck, you look so good like this. You feel so amazing.” Richie’s skin burned under the praise. He went to cover his face with his arm, not used to being complimented like that, but Eddie caught him by the arm and brought his lips to the inside of Richie’s wrist. He couldn’t believe how good such a simple touch felt. It had him bucking his hips into the air, his cock begging for attention as pleasure bloomed deep inside of him. It had him whimpering for more.

“Harder,” he begged. “Please, please fuck me.” With a hungry look, Eddie leaned over and pinned Richie’s wrist above his head and began fucking Richie hard and deep and fast, just like he’d asked for. Richie’s eyes went wide as he let out a broken, “Yes.” He threw his head back and screwed his eyes shut, really feeling every thrust. Eddie was fucking him so good, filling his room with the sound of skin on skin and Richie’s desperate moans of yesyesyesrightthereohfuckyesyesfuckyes. As he opened his eyes to find Eddie’s hooded and trained on his face, Richie couldn’t help but let out a dreamy, “I love you.”

Eddie groaned and pressed himself against Richie, chest to chest, his face buried in Richie’s neck. “I love you so much.” Richie wrapped his arms and legs around Eddie and held him tight. Eddie rolled his hips, burying his cock so deep inside Richie before pounding into him hard and fast again. With the way Eddie was fucking him, Richie’s cock sliding between them where they pressed against one another, Richie was getting close fast. It was all so much in the best way. He buried his face in Eddie’s shoulder, biting down. His muffled moans were punctuated by every thrust. He raked his nails down Eddie’s back as he felt his pleasure building, coiling within him. He was right on the edge, and he wanted to live in that intensity forever. Sinking further into his desperate haze, he rocked his hips, making his cock throb. 

“Eds,” he panted, throwing his head back, “‘m close, fuck, oh my god, I’m so close.”

Eddie sat up then, and Richie let his legs fall back to the bed, spread open wide. He cried out when Eddie wrapped his hand around Richie’s cock. He arched into Eddie’s touch, his hands gripping the sheets tight. “Come for me, baby,” Eddie moaned. “Fuck, I’m so close too, wanna watch you come on my cock.”

“Oh, fuck!” Richie cried. “I’m coming, I’m coming, fuck, fuck, yes,” he moaned, his eyes screwed shut and words slurring into moans as he came, his pleasure crashing over him like a wave, engulfing him entirely. All he could feel, all he could think was Eddie. Eddie, inside of him, touching him, making him feel like this. It made it so much better than it had ever felt, knowing it was Eddie holding him, that it was his Eddie looking at him, fucking into him, telling him:

“Rich, baby, I’m coming.” Richie was still catching his breath and coming down when he felt Eddie still his hips, burying his face in his neck, biting down and sucking hard as he groaned and gasped. Richie held him and stroked his hair as he came, barely believing he was making Eddie make those noises, that he made Eddie shake like that. Once he felt Eddie relax against him, pressing light kisses to Richie’s skin, Richie held him tight and buried his face in his hair. 

“Fuck,” he laughed, kissing Eddie wherever he could reach.

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed breathlessly. “That was… wow, that was amazing.” He rearranged himself so his head rested on Richie’s chest and smiled up at him. 

“Tell me about it.” Richie kissed his nose, then delighted in the adorable way Eddie scrunched up his face.

Eddie’s eyes searched Richie’s for a moment before he said softly, “I really love you. A lot.”

Richie melted; for a second he thought he might actually cry. “Eds, you’re the fucking light of my life,” he said, barely able to finish his sentence before he was bringing his lips to Eddie’s. “I love you so much.” He knew in that moment that he would never get tired of feeling Eddie smiling against his lips. 

Eddie pressed a kiss to Richie’s cheek before saying, “I’m gonna pull out, okay?” He giggled when Richie whined.

“Just a little longer?” he pouted. Eddie kissed it right away.

“As long as you want. I could stay like this forever.”

Richie snuggled into him, taking a moment to bask in the glow before saying, his voice smug and full of love, “I knew you’ve always liked it when I call you Eds.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Eddie giggled before attacking Richie with kisses.

taglist: @clouded-eyes-and-salty-tears @eddieeatsass @deadlighturis @constantreaderfool @reddieloserz @jessicaheartsderry @vegetarian-avocado @tinyarmedtrex @sml1104 @thelazyeye @itfandomprompts @montconde @fizzylemones @lexinatorwrites @scribbles-solo @nancythebisexualslutwheeler @cutedubutokki @peachcartoon123

[firefly-fez]

Fears and Friendship

Little drabble I wrote bc

- It’s a cute concept, but also a bad idea

- FRIENDSHIP FLUFF

- you don’t typically see the emotional effects / consequences of a paladin’s immunity to fear, so it’s fun to explore

Fears and Friendship

Vanora swiftly dismounted her steed, and knocked firmly on the door to Castle Sedgewick. She could feel the adrenaline of battle fading, the ache of her wounds becoming more noticeable as her heartbeat slowed to its normal rhythm. ...She probably should have waited for the rest of her party before coming all the way here, but whatever. They couldn’t be too far behind her.

The door stood shut. She knocked again. “It’s Vanora,” she called. “I have information for the royal family about…” she stopped herself before she finished her thought. She’d probably best not mention the plague, lest rumours grow. …”our investigations,” she finished, somewhat lamely.

The door swung open after a minute, and once she was inside, Ilse Albe revealed herself, making her person visible to the world once more. The princess had an alarmed expression on her face, but Vanora continued speaking the second the Princess became visible.

“It’s about the plague. We’ve determined - “

Isle cut her off. “What the hell happened to you?”

“Ah, you know. Injuries in combat. Life of an adventurer.” Vanora waved her hand dismissively. “Anyway, I have information...” she lowered her voice so that only Isle could hear her, though they were alone in the room. “...about the plague.”

Isle looked at Vanora with concern. She surveyed Vanora’s appearance - indeed, she looked like hell. She hadn’t taken the time to heal any of her “injuries in combat”, and - what looked like bite marks from... something huge pierced several sections of her armour, the metal was stained with her blood. Not to mention, she was covered head to toe in a slimy-looking substance that absolutely stank.

Vanora continued on, undeterred and oblivious to the Princess’ alarm. “This is critical information, Ilse. May I request an audience with the King to discuss the matter? He’ll want to know what we’ve uncovered.”

Ilse looked at Vanora, at a loss for words. “I - Vanora... “ She assumed an authoritative tone appropriate for a Princess, but her tone included a genuine concern for the Paladin’s wellbeing. “The King is in a meeting right now, and you look -” Ilse reeled back from the stench. “I’m sorry, but is that vomit? What happened to you?”

Vanora looked down at her ghastly appearance and shrugged. “Yeah, I was swallowed by a T-Rex. I - “

“WHAT?” Ilse’s alarm only grew. Her eyes widened in shock.

“Yeah, a T-Rex. Look, I know I’m not-”

“Does this T-Rex have anything to do with the plague?”

Vanora considered the idea seriously. “Well, that’s the question, isn’t it.” She rubbed her temples, and Ilse noticed chunks of T-Rex stomach goo in her hair.

Ilse was confused, but she didn’t think Vanora was in the right state of mind to properly settle the matter. “Look, why don’t you go home, heal yourself” - she gestured to Vanora’s bloodstained armour.

“Can’t. Out of lay on hands. This is-”

“Wait, already?” Ilse interjected.

“Mmhm. Whiston died, so. That used up a lot.”

Isle stared at Vanora, her alarm increasing with every word of the conversation.

“The T-rex killed Whiston?”

“No, no. Different combat. There was an evil demigod trying to kill Hoolie.”

“...Okay.” Ilse took a moment to gather her words.

Vanora really didn’t seem herself. The life of a Princess can get pretty lonely sometimes, as authority can tend to isolate yourself from the people you rule. Ilse didn’t have many friends, but Vanora was among the few - or at least, she liked to think they were friends, anyway. It’s hard to tell why people are nice to you when you’re a princess. It takes time to develop a knack for knowing whose friendship is genuine, and whose is politically motivated. She’d always liked Vanora, though. They were so radically different from each other - a peasant and a princess, a Paladin and a Vigilante, one denying fear, one relying on it. Still, Vanora’s convictions impressed Ilse - but today, Vanora did not seem like herself. Yes, there were the injuries and the stench of T-Rex stomach bile. But it was more than that. Vanora seemed rattled. Almost… if she didn’t know better, her instincts told her Vanora was afraid. Or at least, she had been afraid. She reminded Ilse of a child awoken from a nightmare - the rush, the dominance of fear gone, but  disoriented and a little shaken from the immensity of the experience.

Maybe it was Vanora’s uncharacteristic nature, maybe it was the fact that no one else was there to see, maybe it was the fact that Isle wanted to believe that they were friends, but she dropped the Princess tone to her voice, and asked this time in a gentle way.

“Vanora?”

“Mm?” Vanora lifted her head, removing her hands from rubbing her temples. She really did look exhausted. Right, she would be - she always was, after a resurrection.

‘Are you okay?”

Vanora’s expression softened a little. She seemed to regain a little of her focus. “Been a hell of a day.”

“...It’s 10:00 in the morning.”

“Really?” Vanora’s surprise seemed genuine.

“You… seriously. Please, go home. Get some rest. Take a bath, swing by the Greenhouse, get Davina to heal you, and we can hear your news of the plague tomorrow.”

Vanora didn’t like that suggestion at all. She grew almost frantic as she spoke “No, please, the sooner the better. I don’t know how much longer…” her voice trailed off.

“You going to be somewhere tomorrow?”

Vanora sighed heavily. “Not if I can help it.”

Isle had no idea what she meant by that, but she decided not to press the issue.

“Like I said, the King is in a meeting right now. You can see him in three hours, privately, but you better be cleaned up before then, okay?”

Vanora looked relieved. “Thank you.”

She turned to leave, but she stopped when her hand reached the door. Something about the day’s events clearly unsettled her.

“Hey, Ilse...”

“Yes?”

‘How do you do it?”

“...I’m not sure what you mean.”

“You said once, that I shouldn’t underestimate fear. That you use it as a strength. How do you do it?”

That was an odd question for a Paladin to ask of anyone. It was also an odd question for a peasant to ask of a Princess. It was not, however, an odd question for a friend to ask of a friend. She hoped this was a sign Vanora was looking for advice from a friend. God knows, Ilse could use a friend to vent to from time to time. Of all the privileges Princesses get to indulge in, that isn’t typically one of them.

“Why do you ask? It’s… not something I’d expect you to need to know. You’re immune to fear.”

“Not today, I wasn’t.”

Hm. So an antipaladin was involved, Ilse thought. Interesting.

“...when was the last time you felt fear?”

“Not as long ago as you’d think. The Day of the Dog attack - around the time we first met, when the antipaladin attacked Dragonslayer Drum.”

That wasn’t long ago at all, really. Not in terms of a Paladin’s stint between fears, anyway. But Vanora was younger than most Paladins. She hadn’t been one long enough to have forgotten what fear felt like - she’d said so herself. This wasn’t about being unused to fear, then. This was something else.

‘And the time before that?”

“The plague.”

Ilse took a moment for the significance of that comment to sink in. She knew Vanora’s mother had died, she knew she’d recently resurrected a brother, but… right. It was the plague that took Vanora’s family away from her. It was the plague that made her a Paladin.

“Did you want to give it up?”

She sighed again. ‘I suppose I did. Fear… it’s very powerful, like you say. I remember a time when it could be a positive thing - keeps you alert, gets you out of danger faster… but - it didn’t stay a good thing. It’s… kind of like riding a horse, I think. If you’re not the one in control, it becomes dangerous very quickly. After the plague… I wasn’t the one in control anymore. Maybe even before that point. I don’t know.” She looked up. “Does that make any sense to you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it does.”

“You’re the one in control, the way you...interact, with fear. I was never any good at that. You can use fear to your advantage, but my relationship with it was… increasingly self-destructive. I didn’t become a Paladin for the sake of getting rid of it, or anything, but I certainly didn’t miss it when it was gone. Well, not for a while, anyway. It’s not as easy without fear as I thought it would be, though.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well… fear is powerful, but that makes it...distracting, sometimes. Maybe distracting isn’t the right word. But it - it pulls your focus in a specific direction. Like; say you find a dead body”, she proposed the scenario like it was a common occurrence. Maybe to her, it was. “When you see it, it’s normal to be afraid. You’re confronted with your own mortality, and it scares you. The fear is there, in the back of your mind.” She really did sound like she’d actually been in such a circumstance herself. Not uncommon for an adventurer...but if that’s the case, she shouldn’t know about the fear of it. Ilse wondered if she’d been present when her mother or brother died. “But there are other things you feel, too. Grief. Despair - the injustice of what happened to them, especially if they were someone innocent - someone young.” Hopelessness. If you feel fear as well, it has a tendency to pull your focus. When that veil is removed...it’s not as comfortable as it sounds.”

Ilse had never thought of it like that before. She was glad that Vanora’s demeanor seemed to be improving as she got this stuff off her chest, though.

“Advantages and disadvantages of fear aside, I was never any good at keeping fear in check. I used to manage it alright - but it was… it was just so constant. It takes strength and - well. No one can be strong forever.”

The gravity of Vanora’s life experiences hit Ilse hard. It would have been constant - not knowing when you’d eat again. Not knowing whether you’d last the night, shivering in the cold. No doctor to go to when you’re sick, never knowing how you were going to make it through the day - going minute by minute, hour by hour, challenge by challenge. Then facing something as terrifying as the plague. She really did try to understand the impact that could have on a person - a princess should know the plight of her people, after all, but here it was; before her eyes. Someone who, for years at a time, fought fear with no reprieve. No wonder Vanora had chosen to give it up.

‘I… I don’t really know what to say.” She wanted to have some good advice here, but she was a little lost for words.

Vanora seemed to realise she’d just blurted out her vulnerabilities to the Princess. Ilse recognised the “oh crap, you’re a princess. Why am I telling you this?” Look. It was a lonely look. “I’m sorry. Rough day. I… I should take your advice. I’ll…”

“It was the other way around, for me. I guess… fear was always in shorter supply than safety. I used to think to myself, “One day, this will be a bad memory”, and that helped me to believe I’ll get through it. That’s how I fought it when I was younger, anyway. These days… I think of why I can’t give up. All the things that helped me to feel safe, when I was a kid... they’re all the things I’m fighting for, now, really. A good life. A happy life. For everyone in the Kingdom. I have to be brave - for them.”

“You have to be brave for your community.”

Ilse laughed. “That’s a very Erastillian way to put it, but yes. Vanora, if you think of the people you took your oath for - they are why you can’t give in. I know…” an expression Vanora couldn’t quite place crossed Ilse’s face - “I know safety was never a big part of your childhood, but - everything you love about your community, your home - that’s why you can’t give in to fear. You’ve overcome a lot for the sake of serving them already.” She smiled. “You can overcome fear too.”

Vanora smiled back, warmly. She looked more herself now, though she still stank of T-Rex. “Thank you, my friend. You have given me some good advice - advice I should take.” She seemed to acknowledge the stink of the T-Rex vomit for the first time. She wrinkled her nose. “Ugh. I should get myself cleaned up. I’ll be back in three hours to talk to the king.”

Ilse was glad she helped her friend, and in her heart she was happy to have heard Vanora use the word ‘friend’.

Vanora looked back one last time.

“Thank you”, she said again, in a sincere tone. She left the castle. Ilse closed the door shut behind her, hearing the cries of the party who had caught up with Vanora.

Davina was there, berating Vanora for running off before she could get healing. “Tell me you didn’t speak to the King like that.” Ixia said, horrified. Ilse laughed. They sounded happy, teasing each other with their usual banter, which disguised a lot of the difficulties they encountered throughout their day.

Ilse couldn’t help but feel ever so slightly jealous. She couldn’t josh around easily with peers and friends like that.

Of all the privileges princesses get, that is not one of them.

Still, Vanora had called her friend. She seemed to realise that her need to seek advice from someone was welcome, despite her tendency towards formal diplomacy.

Maybe one day, she’d have more regular company. She’d never had a friend confide in her before. A Paladin, too. Paladins are typically the ones people confide in.

That was progress.

[planetjeon]

i’m not her | mingyu [pt.2]

inspired by / alt. ending to fake dating mingyu by @saythename17scenarios - read it here

a/n: i know this is so so so late but i’ve just been in a rut with how to continue this lately. i did it though, and i hope it’s not disappointing! let me know what you think! 

part one  part three? [let me know!] masterlist words: 1.7k genre: a little fluffy i guess? but angst. bc what else would i write lol summary: you continue to fake-date mingyu, your best friend you’re actually completely in love with but he’s found someone else.. for real now.

you brought a shaky hand up to press on your temples as you tried to collect your composure. at the same time, your legs seemed to give way and you sank down to the floor as your mind bombarded you with the worst thoughts of mingyu being absolutely disgusted at the thought of you liking him.

when your roommate returned to take you out for pizza, she found you sitting on the ground, shreds of the piece of paper lying around you.

when she asked you what was wrong, you numbly responded, telling her what had happened.

she knew you well enough to leave you alone for a while and ordered the pizza to be delivered to the room instead but when she placed a plate in front of you, you just let it go cold.

your mouth was dry and you didn’t know what to think of the fact that your friendship with mingyu might have been over, all because you stupidly fell for him and couldn’t keep it in.

over the next week, your roommate spoiled you with your favourite food, tubs of ice cream and the softest throw you’d ever felt in your life. she felt extremely guilty for making you like this, seeing as it was her who got you to write your feelings down.

she’d apologised about twenty-two hundred times and even offered to talk to mingyu for you to find out how he felt but you refused.

you had to talk to him yourself.

can i see you? you texted him, holding your breath while you waited for him to reply.

sure. usual spot?

ok, 20 minutes.

you got there early. hands in your pockets to shield them from the cold, you took a seat on one of the swings at the playground outside your campus, where you and mingyu had spent every single day the summer it opened, and every summer since.

since it was poorly situated so near a university campus and not very near much else, it was empty pretty much all the time and it had been yours and your best friend’s favourite haunt to get away from the stress of college.

you used your legs to gently swing back and forth, your eyes glued to the doodles on the side of the swing, most of which were done by you and mingyu.

they were doodles, not graffiti, you’d told him the first time you took out a sharpie and scribbled your initials on it.

as you ran your hand over some of the funnier messages, you heard footsteps approaching and turned your head to see mingyu walking towards you,

you wanted to smile after not seeing him in a week, the longest you’d gone without seeing him since you two became friends, but also because he was wearing the same hoodie as you. the same oversized, grey hoodie with a tiny sprinkled donut icon sewn into the chest you’d bought together on an impromptu shopping trip.

he took a seat in the swing next to yours without a word. the silence was suffocating as both of you awkwardly swung back and forth a little, searching for the right things to say.

“i never knew..” “how are you doing?” you both said in unison and the awkward tension thickened.

“i’m fine.” he replied.

your face burned in embarrassment at the tension between the both of you and the generic small talk you had attempted to make. when did we become like this? you wanted to ask. 

“i never knew, about it.” mingyu tried again, his voice strong - but quiet.

you felt words pushing at your lips, wanting to come out but you just couldn’t let them out. it felt as though your true feelings would be your downfall, would be the end of your friendship with mingyu. 

“if you’d told me this.. two months ago, things probably would’ve turned out different.” he started. it took some time for his words to register.

“how? why?” you asked him, slightly hopeful but afraid of the answer.

he let out a dry laugh, using his long legs to swing the swing side to side, his hands clasped tightly in between his legs nervously. “because two months ago, i would’ve been able to return your feelings.” he confessed.

and there it was. the thing you were hopeful but afraid of. having mingyu feel the same way about you as you did him, but having missed the opportunity to really be with him.

as you were prepared to salvage your dignity by downplaying your feelings for him, fat droplets of rain began to land on your bare legs. grabbing you off the swing, mingyu tried to lead you to the closest shelter. nearing the bus stop, you found that everyone else in the area had the same idea and there wasn’t any room to seek shelter from the rain under the small roof. the rain was getting increasingly heavier and you felt your clothes get heavier with the water but mingyu was still going strong.

turning back, his hand still on yours - you couldn’t help but notice, he pulled you along to the next possible hiding place. both of you drenched to the bone, he tugged you into an empty phonebooth.

the cramped space would have to do as you waited for the rain to lessen as the closest building was another four blocks down in your large university campus. 

with the door shut behind you, you barely had space to move as you tried to wring the water out of your hoodie that sported large dark grey patches from the rain. 

mingyu had no problem moving his arms above your head, wringing out his own hoodie - one of the few times you were grateful for the height difference.

when he was done wringing out his hoodie, he started on his hair, flicking his hand rapidly through it, the water splashing down onto you. with the additional spray in your hair, you looked up to glare at the cheeky, grinning boy.

you started wringing out your own hair, starting with squeezing out the end, then attempting to flick the water out like mingyu did. unfortunately for you, that method didn’t work as well with long hair as it did on short hair, leaving your hair a frizzy, tangled mess, comparable to a bird’s nest.

mingyu’s loud laughter echoed through the space as he took in the state of your hair. “you look ridiculous.” he commented as you tried to smooth your hair back down, pouting. 

“let me help.” he offered, running his fingers gently through your hair to detangle the mess you’d created. for a moment, you could forget about the past week. you could be normal again. 

feeling his fingers on your head made you want to sigh but instead, you focused on picking at a flyer stuck to the side of the phonebooth while he fixed your hair.

at a difficult knot that had somehow appeared in your hair, mingyu leaned down further to try to properly detangle it without pulling your hair out. 

“it’s fine.” you told him, wanting to do it yourself. as you said that, you looked up at him, only to find his face a lot closer to yours than you’d expected. caught off guard at your close proximity, you stumbled backwards, feet slipping on the wet floor.

mingyu’s quick reflexes allowed him to let go of your hair and grab onto your waist before you collapsed to the ground. pulling you up, his own feet began to slip and he slammed a hand against the wall behind you before he fell on top of you*.

needing to recover from one scare after another, you were both breathing heavily. as you looked up at mingyu, you noticed that you were closer than before. as your chest heaved up and down, it touched his just slightly. if you leaned up just a little further, your lips would touch.

you weren’t sure if it was the rainwater that had gotten into your brain and rendered you incapable of thinking straight, but it hadn’t stopped you from doing it. you pushed up off your feet to close the distance between you and your best friend, pressing your lips onto his softly as you’d done countless times while you were fake-dating.

you relished in the feeling of his lips on yours until a hard shove brought you back, your back slamming into the door of the phone booth - if it hadn’t been shut properly, you would’ve flown out onto the pavement.

your eyes flew open in shock as you looked back at mingyu’s equally surprised face, his hands still in front of him. 

“i-i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to push you that hard, i just..” he reached out to check on you but your first instinct was to flinch away from his touch. a look of hurt flashed through his eyes seeing you move away from him. “i’m sorry.” he said again. “i was just surprised a-and i have a girlfriend and you’re not supposed to be kissing me and i’m sorry does it hurt?” he continued to babble.

your shoulder blades stinging from the impact, you could feel your face and neck burn in embarrassment at what you’d just done. “i have to go.” you said quietly before turning to push the door open and running out.

you heard mingyu call out your name, asking you to wait but you couldn’t. not after what just happened. the rain still beating down on your back, you shielded your face with your hand as you ran and ran until you reached your dorm.

ignoring your roommate’s questions at your state, you headed straight for the bathroom, shutting the door behind you and locking it. the moment you heard the lock slip into place, you felt as though you could let go. silent tears rolled down your cheeks as you braced yourself against the sink.

i have a girlfriend. you’re not supposed to be kissing me.

i know that. you thought to yourself. i know you have a girlfriend so why did i kiss you? i’m not her.

-

*(a/n: i know this is the most typical drama scene to imagine buT i like it don’t judge i think its cute even tho its cringeworthy)