#like i said i’m not 100% sure but ive contemplated in the past and this feels right | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dndfuckhouse · 4 years ago

Text

session 27 - Old Men Pressure The Party With Requests

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> 🎵 Covert Victorian Underwater Piano / Sunless Skies OST

In reaction to Keva’s words, Orin shifts and sort of grumbles under his breath. Slowly he lifts up one of his arms to rub at his eyes before he speaks.

Orin:“…I told you lot… im very busy doing my job here, protecting the bossman noble so if ya could just-“ squinting his eyes open he stops once he recognises you and shouts.“Keva!”

He sits up so fast Keva almost sees in slow motion his forehead about to bash into her own. She narrowly whips her head out of the way just in time for his to not directly collide with her face.

Orin: he stares at you shocked "you're back! man i was worried" he seems to be unaware he almost clocked you Keva: "why are you sleeping here?" Orin: "wanted to ah...take a nap but wanted to stay out in the sun yknow" he starts to stand up and eyes the four of you's wardrobes "glad you're alright though! ive been hearing some weird stuff since you guys left, i was getting kinda worked up so i tried to force myself to take a nap"

Han: damn king u can sleep in that situation?

As the group chat the other three, with Vinny in tow, stare about the courtyard curious as to where the four of them could have gotten off to. Peering around the palace itself and the grand walls surrounding them, they note that there seems to be alot of smaller buildings connected to the walls themselves, though they aren’t really sure of their purpose or what direction to head.

There appear to be alot of people coming and going, guardsman, dignitaries and others scurrying around. They're at a loss where to head off to, though Vinny seems to be staring at the palace pensively.

Cimmorro: cimm pipes up "where did those rascals run off to..." noticing vinny staring around "you enjoying the field trip so far?" Vinny: “ah…well i suppose its not the first time ive been inside these walls... I’m just wondering” he puts a hand to his chin thinking before making a clearly displeased face “I ought to make my presence here to Jeanne known, if she doesn’t know already anyway. lest she start parading around the grounds on a mad hunt, I don’t want to hear her endless complaining about having to search for me. despite it being what she was sent here to do in the first place” he starts grumbling under his breath inaudibly Keva: SOMEONE MAKE A JOKE ABT VINNY'S WIFE Plum: [JOKE ABOUT VINNY'S WIFE]

Cimmorro: "your wife again huh" cimm squints at vinny's grumbling "what's the deal with you two anyway.. i know you said your group thinks you're an idiot but they seem to look after you anyway" Vinny: he turns towards you and gives you a half-hearted glare "she's not-augh" he pauses for a beat "she part of the upper circle so she thinks she's better than me, not like i want to be part of this damned accord anyway but..." he sighs “I know the palace here has a grand library, if she’s helping the wizards with the current uh…citywide predicament she’s most likely stationed there. or the grand mage’s quarters I suppose” Cimmorro: cimm looks at vinny with a curious look ".... so do you wanna reunite with her now or later 🤔 " he shrugs "not like we know where the others are anyway... right guys" @ han and rokka Vinny: "probably sooner is better rather than later....like ripping off a band-aid" he gives the other two curious looks but doesn't say anything

Cimmorro: i was goign to be surprised that rokka and han arent speaking rn i forogt what happene din the bath Han: hans just looking at her shoes Rokka: rokka is looking off Cimmorro: need that forgetful potion that erases ur memory of the last 3 days Han: LMFAO

Han: han kicks a rock at her feet Cimmorro: cimm pokes at han from her side "helloooooo? earth to han?" Rokka: rokka snaps out of his daze "wh-oh uh...yes?" Cimmorro: "what's wrong with you two " Han: han flinches and pushes cimm away with her leg "we can go where you need" Cimmorro: oGJSFDKLGJKSG LIKE PUSHING A CAT AWAY? Rokka: he glances at han real quick "nothing is wrong" Cimmorro: huffing at han pushing him away, cimm looks at rokka before scratching his own head and going "just lead the way vinny. i'm starting to hate the air here" Vinny: he scratches the back of his head "well...alright if you guys dont mind" he turns and starts leading the way towards the main entrance of the palace and starts to ask around for directions.

Keva: keva gets up with him "alright sure is a word. what'd you hear?" Plum: "yknow where the boss is? finn's looking for him" Orin: "well alot of chatter about corpses suddenly popping up? I don’t envy the job of a city guardsman right now…” he turns his head over to you plum “ah well boss Vorde’s uh, taking a nap. since you guys left I think he’s been up for at least… 30 hours? yeesh” he pouts and rubs a hand through his hair “think the guys going to work himself right into the grave someday if he isn’t careful. though I think he’d want to know if you’re back master finn-" as he gets a look at finn he kinda winces but also is like : D ? at you holding psalm's hand " maybe we ought to have this chat inside at least… where’s the rest of ya?” Finn: "Inside...please." Finn says a little stressed. He let's go of Psalm's hand and simply stretches it out towards Orin, wanting to hold his instead. "I've been wondering where my uncle is..." Plum: "yeah you can be the one to wake him up finn" Orin: "doors right there buddy" orin takes your hand anyway Finn: "I can't see Orin..." Finn says with a tinge of annoyance.. but appreciates that Orin leads him now Keva: keva's just >:-| but doesn't say anything

Plum: awwww finn Chip: favouritism Finn: HE'S EMBARRASSED BECAUSE IT WAS SO AWKWARD WITH PSALM Psalm: psalm's just standing there, he's just standing there Finn: psalm: okay stand me up then Psalm: HGHRJDJF yeah 100% Chip: kya this love quadrangle Psalm: maybe keva wants to hold orin's hand Han: THIS ROMCOM MOOD Psalm: wow romcom in one team full angst in the other

The two groups head off to their separate destinations. Orin leads Keva, Psalm, Plum and Finn inside the building he was dozing off in front of, it looks like a branch off a larger building connected to what looks like one of the barracks around the palace.

As they walk in they see servants scuttling about, going to and fro on the ground floor, Orin leads them all up onto the third floor past a set of what look like guest rooms. Finn finally feels the pain in his eyes settle once he’s indoors again. Orin continues on to usher them down to the end of the hall in front of one of the doors.

Keva, Psalm and Plum opt to wait outside while Finn and Orin head in, inside Finn sees looks like a moderately plush lounge room. He spots Vorde’s bag and cape laying on one of the chairs as well as Orin’s, thrown more haphazardly on one of the lounges, as well as another door leading to what seems to be a bedroom

Orin: "He's in that room over there" Orin points over towards a door branching off the room "did ya wanna wake him master finn or...me?" Finn: he relaxes when his eyes feel better, pulling his hat off unless that kills me here. [editors note: lol] He let's go of Orin's hand and looks at the door. "For how long has he been asleep?" Orin: he thinks "ahhh he laid down about when you all left, so a couple hours now" Finn: "That is fine enough, our news are urgent after all, I would say." Finn says but in truth he is quite unsure whether he should wake Vorde. Sometimes his uncle seems to be more of a vampire than he is! He goes to knock on the door. "Uncle Vorde?"

Removing his hat and giving the door a knock Finn hears no response, he shrugs and decides to walk in anyway, closing the door behind him. As he waltzes in and looks about he notices Vorde face first on a bed over the covers with his boots still on, though wearing no cravat and vest. The curtains here are also drawn so the room itself is also quite dark.

Cimmorro: i thought he was naked with only boots on Plum: LOL Psalm: OMFG Finn: IUNDFIUGOMJDSFGÖ;DFSG;DSFF:DSG Keva: CAN YOU IMAGINE, GOD WALKING INTO YOUR FATHER FIGURE LIKET HAT Han: 😳 Keva: ENFNRGNKGRKNJRFKJNRNJKFNJR Cimmorro: he just got done fucking with one of the guards Han: VORDE SMASHES FAST

Finn: he slowly comes towards the bed and contemplates how he should go about this. Waking his uncle up is never an easy task. Physically, he can, of course. But emotionally? He knows his uncle needs the sleep. However when he imagines Vorde scolding him for not informing him sooner, he feels a little different. Gently shaking him by the shoulders. "Uncle Vorde... Wake up please..." Vorde: he grunts in response before shifting slightly, moving to sit up "who...." after a few blinks he recognises you finn and quickly sits ramrod straight. he begins eyeing you up and down while patting your shoulders as if looking for something “Safe? Sound of mind? No aches and or mortal wounds you’re valiantly hiding?” from this distance you see the heavy bags under his eyes and one of them almost twitching with unfiltered frustration. Finn: he smiles at the attention Vorde pays to him and how caring he is like this. He nods. "It was a really tough battle..." He looks down for a moment and furrows his brows. Deciding it might be an appropriate time to do it, he closes in to hug Vorde and buries his face in his uncles shoulder. "I had to bite someone to make it. I feel a bit bad about it. ... But I didn't kill them. Like that." He sounds kinda nervous about it. Vorde: he seems surprised at the hug but relaxes and pats your back after a moment "...what we do out of desperation doesn't define us" he slowly releases the hug "i heard a few mutterings before i laid down, but i had not expected you'd go to a battle, or i would have advised more hands" he sighs and rubs his eyes "is it done then? did you and the others stop their plot?" Finn: he backs off a bit when Vorde releases the hug, being grateful for the considerate words, he nods at that. "More hands would have been good, but nothing you could have foreseen, uncle. And I'm still in one piece, aren't I?" He'd say before answering his question. "We did eliminate Theyord and that scum of his cult, but they were able to complete their ritual. I do not know if you had taken notice of it, but briefly, all over the city the dead were raised once more."

Psalm: imagine sleeping through that vorde, real egg on your face there Rokka: jldfsjkd

Vorde: he narrows his eyes "i had not, if they didn't move past that though they you most likely succeeded" he sighs in relief "well one headache taken care of, you can give me the details in a moment" he rises from the bed and stretches "how did the others fare in your battle?" Finn: he watches as his uncle rises and stretches, taking his place on the bed instead while they're talking privately. "I suppose we were successful in the end, but I have to say uncle, it is a scary thought that a devil was able to look into our realm. Even scarier than auntie." He kicks his feet a little in the air as he goes on. "The others?" Finn thinks for a moment. "Badly. We all fared badly. It looks as though that wizard.. Vinny crossed the river of styx more than once." frowning at the memory of his state. Vorde: he listens in as he adjusts his hair and shirt "...yes i have to agree on that. At the very least Arabella doesn't have powers that can raise thousands of the dead, or at least i very well hope she doesn't" he kind of smirks as if he's told a joke in very poor taste "....no deaths however? Finn: he grimaces at the thought. "Do not jinx it!" But he nods at the question. "No deaths at all! Everyone returned from the battle, thankfully. But too many of us were too close to it for comfort." He tries to snort, joking with his uncle. Vorde: he gives an easy laugh "...thats what matters in the end then. for a battle you didn't expect of such scale im surprised thats all you came out with" he turns to give you a proper look finn "...how much would you say you trust them then? with your life or otherwise" Finn: he smiles lots at his uncle's laugh, like this 😊. But when Vorde breaches that topic, his expression takes on a neutral form. He expected his uncle to ask something like this sooner or later now and looks back at him. "They never hesitated to protect me or spare resources for me. Well, that is an understatement. They saved my life already, more than once. I believe it is due to the relationship of your deal with them, however... I think some of them, personally care. Some." Thinking about Rokka specifically. "I think it might just work with them." Vorde: he gives you a long pondering stare finn before turning his head away "...good. all i needed was your approval in that regard." he makes to walk towards the door "if possible id like to speak with them all soon, you can catch me up on what you've seen underground as we walk. Its possible for us to walk about the palace by sticking to the indoor passages if we take the long way" Finn: he now gets off the bed with a little hop and waddles to his uncle's side. "Ah, that would be good. The sun is severely handicapping me today, I had to hold Psalm's and Orin's hands to get here in the first place." He puts on his hat again, unless that killed him earlier. [editor’s note: lol] "Some of the group came here with me, the others are buzzing about in another part of the palace..."

After a bit more brief chatter they decide to look for the rest of the group then bring them back to Vorde and Orin’s temporary room for a discussion. Vorde walks out of the room into the lounge where Orin seems to be idling around for the two of them, grabbing his bag and cloak once again. Not bothered for the moment be places his vest and cravat into the bag. The three then exit out into the hallway where the other three are waiting

Vorde: "no need to get cold out here for my sake the three of you" Finn: finn trails after Vorde like a puppy Psalm: psalm just shrugs like "I figured you'd want a moment alone to talk to Finn." Plum: "yeah, also orin said you were sleeping, could go for a nap myself honestly" [yawns] Keva: keva gets up from her squat, winces a bit from her muscles quickly becoming sore probably lol Vorde: he gives you a neutral glance psalm "courteous of you i suppose." before turning to look at you plum "i concur, though i feel its best i speak with you all again once before you're called before whatever dignitaries in the evening. If only to clarify a few things now that my end of our deal is complete" Plum: "sure, we should go find the others anyways"

The group shuffle off to look for the others, Plum tells Finn to lead the way though Finn soon realises he’ll need to hold someones hand again to get around.

Finn: finn kind of just looks at plum. he cant lead the way really. unless plum is willing to hold his hand. Plum: plum like why is finn looking at me rn “you good there” Finn: "Um... more or less. I just do not think I am capable of guiding us around this castle." he stammers out "You, Keva and Psalm are more suited for that." Plum: "oh why didn't you just speak up" and i grab his hand and pull him along Finn: "Wha- !" finn is dragged along...he has no choice.. he cannot change this.

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> 🎵 Labyrinth V - City of Radiant Ruin / Etrian Odyssey IV OST

As they wander around within the palace, Vinny leads the other group, consisting of Cimmorro, Han and Rokka, around to find the library. After a moment of wandering around the tall hallways on the ground floor they find the entrance, a set of open grand double doors. As they shuffle into the library they see a litany of people in blue and white coloured robes flitting about, similar uniforms to the royal guardsman but seemingly less restrictive and looser garments.

At one of the long centre tables they see there Turren, working away at some sort of grand bronze contraption, books and tomes piled high around as she sits upon a tall pile herself.

Next to her, Mardella appears to be reading from a book, reciting a phrase before looking up at Turren who frustratedly shakes her head before she moves onto another passage. The two continue on in this fashion almost comically while, nearby they spy Jeanne leaned over in a chair idly floating cosmetics as she stares into a mirror touching up her makeup.

Cimmorro: "looks like we found her... now give her a kiss" Vinny: he turns to you while hesitating at the entrance "you are making this worse by at least tenfold" Cimmorro: cimm snickers "i'm trying to save your marriage!" in the most joking tone he can possibly make. "i have to have my fun around here lest these two behind us bore me to death and take me to the goddess earlier than i had planned to" he points at han and rokka with his thumb without looking back Vinny: he makes this face at your teasing 😖 Plum: id kick cimms ass ngl Cimmorro: that means everything to me gab

Rokka: rokka mumbles to himself "i can be fun..." Han: han pushes cimm into the library, NOT HARD JUST LIKE SO THAT HE STARTS WALKING, if he trips well 🙄 Cimmorro: [succeeds on dex save] cimm sticks his tongue out at han while moving out of her reaching distance, would gesture at vinny to go and speak to his lady "go on, shoo shoo" Han: han sticks her tongue back at cimm and also follows vinny

Vinny waddles ahead of the group reluctantly until he enters Jeanne's field of vision, as they go the apprentices gathered around give the group all curious looks before focusing their attention back on their work

Vinny: he waves a hand in front of her before remarking "hello again jeanne, i hear you've been looking for me" Jeanne: she snaps her head in his direction before turning it back to her mirror "oh Vildristin there you are, I’d heard you had found your way to the palace somehow. lovely of you not make me hunt you down myself, always so bothersome.” She clicks a container holding some of her makeup closed before turning fully towards him “charming to see you’re in good….enough health. Last I got a glimpse of you I recall you were cowering against a wall in some rundown hallway. next you time you are unwillingly spirited away could you place yourself somewhere slightly more identifiable for me?” Cimmorro: behind vinny, cimm looks like this 😬 thinking 'the whole idiot thing wasn't a joke huh'

Rokka: jeanne i have decided you are a meanie mcpoopoo Han: ME RN TRACE Cimmorro: cimm group literally being like booo we hate your pussy @ jeanne rn Han: EMO PHASE OVER WE COME TOGETHER TO HATE ON JEANNES PUSSY

Vinny: he huffs and folds his arms in response to her “I was trying to stay hidden at the time, if you’ve not been informed, the lovely group of people behind me were innocent” Jeanne: she shakes a hand at him dismissively “oh yes yes, but still you were embarrassing me, and in front of the lovely ladies here as well. What to think of poor Beryll’s reputation” she tuts as he shoots a glares at her “hmm right, not that you care much about that, problem child that you are” Vinny: “…you’re barely four years of age on me Jeanne” Jeanne: “and how important those four years are apparently” he lets out a long beleaguered sigh

Cimmorro: cimm's debating if he should intervene rn but decides to hold back another round but he is less pleased at this point Han: one more round of verbal abuse Psalm: this is han cimm and rokka in the bg

Cimmorro: GLKDJBKLCXJBLCXMBLKSDMLKAMER I LAUGHED SO HARD I THINK I WOKE UP MY SISTER FUCK U SARITA Han: ;LKNDSA;TA4W HLFDW3AREFD

Vinny: a beat passes before vinny folds his arms in front of himself anxiously "right, well I've made myself known then... good luck with whatever it is... you aren’t doing in here" and turns to leave Jeanne: “hold on, you” she quickly extends a manicured finger in Vinny’s direction. “you aren’t shambling off anywhere until I have you report to the Accord, and then we shall be enlisting your help in tightening up the arcane runes around the palace” Vinny: he flinches “w…why on earth do I need to help with the runes…” Jeanne: she sighs before continuing “the great wizards of the accord are happily extending a helping hand to the Dorinian monarchy to resolve such a grand breach of security, of which you yourself are one, do you truly need such reminders? shall I jog your memory also on how to draw magic circle and what sigils make up a prestidigitation spell?” Vinny: he lets out a small frustrated grunt of agony in response Han: han slides in behind vinchezzo "you seem so capable ma'am, and vinny was just injured gravely, you should be fine doing those sigils yourself" takes vinnys waist and gently pushes him further away back to the door lol Cimmorro: cimm gets between han and jeanne "our fair wizard here was at the verge of passing far too many times, i don't suppose it would be uncouth to let him have his well deserved rest"

Han: han and cimm said WE TOP FUCK OFF Cimmorro: han might start a bar fight here he's seen enough Han: HAN SAID SHE TOPS AND CIMM SAID SHE DOES BUT NOT HERE Cimmorro: GKSJDGHSKJHGSJKGSHDGKHJSGD

Plum: han just moving vinny away and him just letting her is destroying me genuinely Han: vinny bottom... Chip: annoyed but liberated Cimmorro: vinny would let himself get manhandled

Rokka: he moves in front of vinny also "yes, i don't think it would look good for an accord that treats their own members in such a way" Vinny: he seems shocked at your intervention but doesn't fight being pushed away much by han. Jeanne: she squints at you all from under her fringe while tapping a finger on the table in front of her "...dont believe i caught the names of our great liberators. So you were the ones looking out for our Vildristin then?" Rokka: "my name is Rokka" he tilts his head up like that hmph motion Han: han noooos inside Cimmorro: "...it's fairer to say that we were looking after each other. vildristin offered great assistance in stopping the underground ceremony, madame" straightening up "so, i, again, implore you to let him rest" Han: keeps dragging vinny out like peace out Jeanne: she leans her head on her free hand atop the desk and stares for a long moment at you cimmorro before clicking her tongue "ahh no fun you lot. Take him away then since one of you seems quite keen too" she leans back in her chair and says slightly louder "waltz down here tomorrow though Vildristin, i mean it!" she sounds slightly whiny as she does. Turren: she gives her a disgruntled look at the volume "Jeanne if you could keep the noise down im trying my best to parse the damn code whatever 100 year old mage encrypted this thing with" Jeanne: she wilts slightly with a laugh "aha my apologies arch mage" she waves the four of you off with her hand Cimmorro: cimm gives jeanne a forced smile before leaving

Rokka: https://tenor.com/view/avatar-last-airbender-sokka-katara-gif-5506067 Cimmorro: ROIAKLLOAKOLKWKOGOAGKOKADGDSG

The group quickly shuffle themselves out of the library back into the tall palace hallways, dragging Vinny along with them.

Han: once hans out the door "well, at least bought a nights rest for you" Cimmorro: catching up to the others with a sprint. "okayyyy then... not saving your marriage. if i knew you had a wife like that i think i'd sabotage it if anything" he keeps his hands behind his head Han: "ye, if you need someone to hold her down while you get a left hook in, count me in" Chip: cimm like ill homewreck fr u anytime vinny Cimmorro: ILL GET CHU OUTTA THERE U DONT BELONG THERE

Vinny: he lifts his glasses and rubs his eyes "yes well, at least that’s out of the way for now. Suppose i'll be cooped up at the palace for the next few days" he turns to you cimm after "....im too tired to keep correcting you. Gods i need a nap" Cimmorro: "is this how they ALL treat you in the accord? or is madame there a special case?" Vinny: "mostly. some of them aren’t as insufferable as that, she's definitely a standout. were i feeling conspiratorial id almost think they sent her specifically on purpose" Han: "definitely on purpose" Rokka: rokka jsut quietly pats vinny on the back Cimmorro: cimm looking at vinny like damn bro u live like this "i still can't help but wonder why you stick with them if this were the case" Rokka: "yeah, can't you...i dont know... quit?” Vinny: "we all make bad choices when were younger, unfortunately im still stuck with this one" he stares at the ornate looking wall in the hallway tiredly Han: han gives vinny an empathetic shoulder (or i guess hip with her fucking size) bump "if you want to escape and start new life...." Vinny: he finally laughs again at that "I've thought about it i cant deny that, who would i leave the store too though..." at that though he kinda snaps his eyes open "right, i almost forgot with jeanne's yammering" he turns back to you all seriously "im still worried about where ezra and cole have gotten too....they still haven't shown up. I was going to ask since it seems i wont be able to really leave and look around on my own. If uh, you get the chance, could you try and look into it and see where they've disappeared too?" Han: "oh, yeah. i was planning to look for them anyway" Rokka: "yeah, I am kind of worried" Han: "you can do that scrying thing like you were under before?" Vinny: he goes 🥺 "thank you, i really appreciate it" before responding to the question "no, sadly i dont have the ability to cast something that potent. Maybe i could badger jeanne about it tomorrow however.... least she could do for me"" Han: han makes the excalibur face "we can search by our own" Psalm: LOL Plum: LOOOL

Cimmorro: "would she even consider your requests? with the way things were going earlier it didn't seem possible to me" Vinny: "if im going to be forced to work with her tomorrow i can ask at the very least, if it comes to nothing well i'll already be having an annoying morning" Cimmorro: "quite a nice coworker you got, i'll be real... could you not quit the accord and keep the shop going yourself? probably even set up elsewhere" Vinny: "i cant quit the accord period, as least not right now. They dont have control over the shop, just over me... Im sure i could travel as i pleased if i informed them where i'd be heading, but id be forced to answer them if they ever called me. Having the store just makes it easier" he sighs "it hasn't been an issue much for a few years but with jeanne here i get the feeling they'll try and meddle with me again" Cimmorro: "you... really like roping yourself into trouble huh" cimm responds Vinny: "ahh.. i am a man of many talents" he says ruefully Cimmorro: "as I've said earlier, too many hobbies"

As they chat, Vinny’s group spots the others coming down the hallway towards them and start waving their hello’s, regrouping altogether once again.

Rokka: rokka perks up "oH GUYS!!" he waves and runs over Plum: i wave at rokka too Chip: plum getting hugged by rokka while holding finns hand Rokka: THATS LITERALLY WHAT IM IMAGINING RN Plum: what was that shit we said yesterday. sorry i fuck and yall dont

Finn: "hello rokka... it is good to see you again" finn comments, also relieved to see rokka.. Rokka: "boy am I glad to see you all again" he gently pats finns hat, careful not to tip it Finn: finn laughs quietly at the gesture, not minding it at all coming from him. "the pleasure is all ours." Psalm: "It..hasn't been that long...?"

Vinny: as the groups converge vinny rubs his neck idly "ah i think i'll split off here and go find somewhere to lay down for a bit, in those barracks that had the bathouse under it" he turns to cimm and han "ill let you know tomorrow if i can wrangle jeanne into anything" Han: thumbs up @ vinny Cimmorro: i nod at vinny "see ya" Keva: keva lets her head drop tiredly on orin's shoulder while we all stand around n talk

Vinny ambles off to find some shuteye while the group chatters amongst themselves, soon after Vorde leads them all back to him and Orin’s temporary lodgings within the castle walls. The group inform him and Orin of their goings on’s over the past day on the way before they arrive at the building again, walking up the stairs into the room one after another. Vorde places his bag down before sitting himself down in a chair in the main lounge room as the group all settle themselves.

Vorde: "seeing as you are to be called in to speak with the royalty soon i feel best i get this out of the way now so we may both be on our own ways." he folds his hands in his lap and regards you all

Cimmorro: vorde lookin like this:

Chip: SJKHEEHJKAGHKJEGAJEJG Psalm: STOP Finn: uiHOIDMJFGIOD;KGFO;DFG finn goes to sit on vordes side, but he doesn't sit like barock

Vorde: he continues on “at this point I consider my obligations in our deal complete, you’re names are cleared and the royalty is clearly thankful to you, an enviable spot to have landed yourselves within. when they summon you again I’m quite certain it will be to discuss compensation or some sort for your task done” Keva: keva looks at whoever questioned her abt being compensated idr Chip: michelle just knows she has a right to go haha neener neener rn

Vorde: “i feel it is time i speak more on the the job, yes” he sighs and leans further back, fatigue settling into his limbs as he rubs a hand across his face “as you all know I’ve spoken before that it is to take place in Antessa, my hometown” he pauses thinking “you will all need to arrive there within 2-3 months, no later than the 45th of Aestas. In simpler terms you’ve a maximum of 87 days from today, easy enough, I can’t imagine that no matter what route you travel there it wouldn’t take you any more than 60 or so days at the maximum. how you get there or what you do from now until you arrive is of no concern to me, so long as you arrive before this time. i shall not be accompanying you there, I've other matters to attend to before we arrive, Orin and Finn alongside me.” Finn: finn kicks his feet a little in the air again, having known about this he's not particularly affected unless rokka looks at him with sad puppy eyes Han: "travelling together sounds smart, especially by foot" Psalm: “no arguments there” Keva: keva starts chewin on a thumbnail while she thinks Rokka: "finn, you're leaving?" Plum: plum is frowning but they're not saying anything either Finn: "Ah...I must. But we will meet again in Antessa, with a lot to tell each other I'm sure." Finn tries to give Rokka a reassuring smile. Rokka: "ah...I was beginning to enjoy our time together..." he looks down "but if you must then I hope to see you soon" Finn: Finn's smile becomes a little sad at that... Enjoying the time he's spent with Rokka as well. "So was I... But we must simply look forward to our next meeting. Time will fly quickly, I'm sure." Vorde: he’s staring very hard at you all considering something while peering at rokka and finn

Keva: in a low volume @ orin "where are you going to be?" Orin: he tilts his head towards you keva "boss man's gotta meet with some people and shuffle around some stuff in ackran i think" Keva: "does it have to do with whatever we're doing in what-its-name" Orin: “ayeeep” Keva: she says louder @ vorde "actually you haven't told us yet what we're doing in your hometown" Vorde: vorde looks at you keva "as unfortunate as I’m sure it is to hear, I cannot yet relay details on said job. while I don’t doubt you all are adept at this point, I cannot risk information about this leaking at all. under any circumstances. when you arrive I will be sure to brief you all in full, down to the finest detail, on specifics. until then just know It will most likely involve combat, and if it soothes you, it is for a righteous purpose” as he says the last bit you see him clench his hand on one of his knees almost unconsciously. Han: "really? no information? nothing helpful so we could even prepare?" Vorde: he shakes his head "that is as much as i can say unfortunately"

Chip: vorde gets 5 black psyche locks appear Han: me ripping his psyche locks Cimmorro: lock pick it keva go

Han: "and if we dont show up?" Psalm: "So are we getting compensation for this as well or was clearing our names payment in advance?" Vorde: "then you would be breaking the terms of our deal. of which i would not take kindly too" he gives you a stern expression before turning to psalm "you will be compensated for this job, clearing your names was the advance. the rest comes after it is complete" Psalm: "I see. Well that's fine with me then." Plum: "you have a lotta faith paying us in advance that's for sure 🤨 but i kinda need to be up around there anyways" Han: han has a bad taste in mouth n just sighs Cimmorro: looking over the group cimm is thinking 'stuck with these guys for months...'

Keva: back to whispering to orin ".... you really think we can trust this guy?" Orin: "well he'll pay you thats for sure, and i dont think hes going to drop you in a ditch if thats what you're scared of" Keva: keva looks directly at orin "it's not me i'm worried about" Orin: he just kinda rolls his eyes Keva: she pinches him in his side Orin: he goes ow ow ow Keva: she grumble at him "you always manage to get yourself into Something." and then quieter and looking at the floor "i don't like being separated that long." n she looks at her thumb before wiping the spit off on her shirt Orin: he kinda rubs his side "ah well yknow, i cant really leave boss man's side at this point, even when finn flutters off i gotta be his second pair of eyes. i'll see ya again dont worry" Keva: keva just sighs quietly thru her nose

Vorde: he continues "theres a place on the outskirts before you reach the town called The Dead Bone Bend, its a cliffface of a sort. at its top is where u can meet me" Plum: [repeats name to self] "gotcha” Celebrity Guest Aqua: Kya meeting vorde at an ass end of nowhere near decrepit ghost town >_< Psalm: PEAK OF ROMANCE Cimmorro: bro ik its like eloping Plum: called bone bend Celebrity Guest Aqua: Well, My bone bend as they say Finn: if it were anyone other than vorde id assume im being killed by a serial killer but vorde? id meet him anywhere Han: yall are crazy Psalm: AND WHAT ABOUT IT? Han: FAIR CARRY ON

As they chat Vorde seems to be lost in his thoughts for a moment, he blinks before turning to address Finn and Orin about something.

Vorde: “Finnian I hate to ask this of you, but could you accompany Orin downstairs for a moment, one of the servants should have some notes for me prepared that I asked after earlier. It should be no trouble to grab them if you announce yourself as a Barvotte” Finn: Finn hops off his seat and looks towards Vorde "But of course, uncle." Then to Orin, as he will request his guidance in just a moment and already walks towards the door.

Cimmorro: were going to die Psalm: damn here we go, he's gonna turn into a lich Han: WE HAD A SHORT REST YOU SAID CHIP

Orin follows after Finn dutifully downstairs to ask around about the servant. After Finn leaves Vorde waits a few beats before turning back to address the group.

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> 🎵 The Relentless Melody / Etrian Odyssey IV OST

Vorde: “there is one more thing I would like to ask of you all before you head off to wherever you may. I would like you to take Finn with you on your travels until you reach Antessa.” he stares at you all seriously, his hands clasped on his lap. Plum: plum tries to hide a laugh Han: "....you could have just said that with him here, why was... is this secret. wh" Psalm: 0_0) "Any reason why...?" Rokka: rokka immediately perks up and becomes excited "yeah! made me feel sad all for nothing!" Vorde: "he seemed eager yes but i feel i should ask you all before he is foisted upon you. it is awkward to do if he is staring you all down. i want honest answers" he turns to you psalm and shakes his head “as loathe as I am to be appear genuine here, my nephew has never travelled outside of Antessa unless it was under my watch. I fear he has not had enough experience of the world on his own, never forced to adapt I suppose you could say” he squeezes his hands slightly before continuing "he can be a bit too attached to me, he has to stand on his own eventually"

Cimmorro: what if vorde's going to a dangerous mission and he dies while finn is with us makes u think Psalm: why would you say that, what the fuck are you on dawg Finn: hey jez im going to kill you for real Plum: mentor figures dont always gotta die ! just saying chip ! Celebrity Guest Aqua: just bcs hes a dilf you dont have to kill him its ok

Rokka: "don't worry sir vorde. I will do my best to look out for him" taps his bicep Han: "........ you want us to babysit?" grimacing Psalm: "While I see what you're saying I don't think I'm cut out to be babysitting." Plum: "i mean i don't mind, rather him than some of you lot sometimes [not looking at keva]" Vorde: he nods his head at you rokka before staring at the other two “you have all proven yourselves capable, even strong individuals. more importantly you aren’t quite like anyone he’s been forced to be around before, that is important.” He pauses a moment again before continuing “I think he has proven himself to you now that he is also able of handling himself in more dangerous circumstances, he would not be a burden. or he very well shouldn’t be one, travel wise or monetarily” Keva: after a bit "....fine. if you make sure orin stays safe." Vorde: he stares at you a moment "that i can assure" Psalm: "Money or otherwise isn't really the issue..." Psalm trails off. Rokka: rokka's just like haha its not babysitting when ur just hanging out with ur friend 🤪

Vorde: he turns to you psalm “you do not have to agree to this request, I am not demanding it of you but I would appreciate it greatly, nonetheless” and for once you see some genuine emotion in this old mans eyes Han: vorde like 🥺 Psalm: psalms like

Cimmorro:

Han: han is untouched by vorde puppy eyes Celebrity Guest Aqua: bounces right off of han Plum: plum isn't

Psalm: * weak to pressure* "It's not like I'll be up to much before whatever you have planned so." just waves his hand Vorde: he nods at you before turning to the rest of you expectantly for an answer Han: han shrugs as an answer like do i rly got a choice bruh..... Cimmorro: "........... we're all going there anyways so there's no difference if he comes with or not. we'll be meeting together in Antessa and working from there regardless. might as well bring him along" Plum: also yeah i just look at bossman and nod if he doesn't get the impression im down for whatever Psalm: psalms not even gonna bother fixing the misconception that we're a functioning group of acquaintances rn Vorde: at your reluctant approval he tiredly speaks again as if drained from not being detached for once "thank you all. i appreciate it" in a rarity he bends forward and gives you all a bow before lifting his head again "with things more or less settled, i'll be due to leave the city sometime in the evening tomorrow along with Orin. I will inform Finn myself of this change before then, i ask you to not tell him just yet yourselves if possible. He will meet you all in the morning at some point i will make sure of that"

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> 🎵 Labyrinth V - City of Radiant Ruin / Etrian Odyssey IV OST

At the tail end of the conversation the group hear Finn and Orin’s footsteps from outside, a knock on the door from Finn announcing their presence again.

Finn: simply comes in without waiting for a reply after he knocks. "Uncle we were able to retrieve the notes you asked for." He says, walking up to Vorde to hand them over and sit next to him again. He's looking forward to not seeing this group for a couple months with the exception of a few select. Cimmoro: everyone looking at finn uncomfortably rn, cept for rokka whos probably wagging his tail Vorde: he takes them from you finn "thank you finnian" he turns back to you all and unfolds them, revealing them to be large maps of the area and written timetables and puts them on a table in front of him "i feel the least i can do is give you some information so you may chart your course as you wish before leaving." he stands from his chair visibly more tired than usual "and now, i am going to lay down for a few more hours at the very least" he turns to you finn "after you speak to the royalty in a time id like you to come wake me for a chat" he pats finn on the shoulder before walking back towards the room with a bed Finn: Finn smiles again at the pat to his shoulder, thinking he and Vorde will just have tea or something. Now that the letterheads are taken care of, some normalcy can return to their lives. Temporarily, at least. It's been a while since they could just talk. And finally they get to travel again! He's missed Orin and Vorde dearly. He nods at his uncles words and wishes him plentiful rest. Plum: jude man, my gawd

Vorde heads out of the room, leaving the group to examine the items he’s placed upon the table. They set about investigating the various routes they could take from here to Antessa.

Route 1 - 100gp per person for the entire boat journey, then 100gp for a caravan and some horses, 500g for supplies for the whole journey (food and horse feed)

Route 2 - 1000gp per person for the entire airship journey then 100gp for a carvan and some horses and 100g for supplies for the whole journey (food and horse feed)

Route 3A - 100gp for caravan and some horses, 1000g for supplies for the whole journey (food and horse feed)

Route 3B - 100gp for caravan and some horses, 1100 gp for supplies for the whole journey (food and horse feed)

Psalm: psalm perks up when he sees the airship option "Finn you wouldn't happen to know what your uncle plans on getting up to before Antessa would he?" Finn: "My uncle isn't fixated only on this job. He has his business to do here and there, that's all I know. I guess I can tell you when we reunite in Antessa?" Finn answers plainly. Psalm: "Ah.. was trying to see if I could get some clues for our upcoming mission but alright." Finn: Finn chuckles at that. "Try all you want, I will also not tell you any more than my uncle did." Psalm: "You caught me ^_^ " Plum: i feel like psalm just lied Psalm: was 100% lying yeah, don't even need to hide that lmfao

Psalm: "I vote we take the airship. Well, either way, im taking that. Even if i have to go by myself” Finn: Finn leans back and watches Psalm starting drama, like he's about to watch an entertaining play. Rokka: rokka taps his chin "i've never been on an airship before..." Plum: "ugh.. i don't like the sound of being up in the air, i'm more interested in the boat route" Han: "i dont have that money and people dont take good to that" Psalm: ”Boats aren't that much safer. They're both ships if you think about it." Plum: "i'm not too keen on the boats either” Han: "airship sound kinda boring but whatever" Psalm: “WHAT. How??” Plum: plum looks at psalm like what the fuck Keva: keva also look at psalm from her distracted thinking like [what the fuck?]

Han: "what do you do on air??? stare at sky??? at least i can forage on horseback..." Psalm: "Why would you want to forage? Plus it's faster." Han: "how else do you get food???" Psalm: Psalm just stares at her like ah i see the problem now Keva: "airship rats" Han: han considers airship rats for a moment Psalm: "You buy food." Han: "why would you buy food if you can just hunt something..." Psalm: "I feel like this is going to go in circles so I'm not going to follow up on that." to himself under his breath "I'm flat broke though...😭 " Cimmorro: "we should find out our compensation before we decide on routes, if we are even able to afford it" snickers

As the group kill time scanning maps and discussing their preferences, the seven of them are finally once again summoned to speak before the nobility in the evening. As the sun finally sets and after some searching from a harried liaison, they bid farewell to Orin in the room before they're led through the palace floors.

As opposed to being led towards the grand courtroom before, the group are led down a different hallway instead, upstairs within the palace. The ceiling is less ludicrously high on the second floor, though only slightly. They are directed to the end of a hallway before a set of grand double doors by a couple of royal guardsman.

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> 🎵 Minor Labyrinth I - The Undiscovered Realm / Etrian Odyssey IV OST

As the group are led inside, in the centre of the room they see a large heavy round oak table, with grand ornamentation carved into its sides. Around the table are bookcases and chairs, as well as banners and shields hung across the walls, and a grand looking window on the far back wall.

On top of the table are books and papers piled up, as well as multiple maps of the city, different angles and sections with small black wooden markers placed upon them. At the doors of the room two royal guardsman stand on guard and eye the group as they walk inside.

Directly across from where they entered, there they see king consort Jeremiah on the other end of the table seated, working away at something as an attendant speaks, bent over next to him. He seems preoccupied until their entrance, to which he lifts his head and speaks a grand greeting.

Jeramiah: “Ah yes there you all are, Vengaboys correct? Apologies for the delay but there is much to be done within a short amount of time if we want to lift the lockdown by tomorrow...” he idly scratches at his chin as he puts down a quill held in his hand Psalm: "vengaboys correct" broke my immersion Chip: LOL Keva: we did this

Finn: he bows in appropriate fashion for the king consort. "Vengaboys is correct, your majesty." Plum: plum is like my family is not going to believe the shit ive been getting up to this week i'll tell you that, im wondering if i should curtsy or something but i think i will decide against it Rokka: "greetings your great....highness....majesty.......king.....?" how do u speak to the royal family idfk Han: “ya sup” Jeremiah: he nods at your greeting finn and smiles a little at han and rokka's before shuffling a few papers together and setting them aside. He tents his hands in front of him on the table before continuing on “i’ve been informed of what occurred earlier today in detail, what this cult attempted to achieve and how it was stopped by yourselves and the two guardsman who spoke with me. Incredible work, I say this truly, this great city owes you a good deal for the countless people you’ve saved, and those you prevented from witnessing such horror firsthand” at this he stands regally and extends a hand across his chest, bowing his head slightly to you all. his attendant almost appears shocked at his action, flustering slightly next to him. Plum: im also shocked Keva: keva is uncomfortable Psalm: psalm is also uncomfortable Finn: Finn is experiencing anxiety premium rn but nods at the gesture. Hoping thats the right thing to do. Rokka: rokka is also slightly uncomfortable.....thats a lot of eyes and ears Cimmorro: cimm just watching

Plum: “err...i mean...” [wondering if they should say anything] Psalm: "There's no need to thank us..." Rokka: “yeah...” Han: on a lower volume "we nearly died, the fuck are you all on (does a mocking tone of psalm) 'no need to thank us'" Plum: [rolls my eyes at han] Finn: finn glares at you han Psalm: he flips her off behind his back

Han reaches out in an attempt to covertly twist Psalm’s arm behind his back, but he quickly bats her hand away before she can get to him at all.

Psalm: HAHAHAHAH SUCK IT LOOOL, i'm imagining this in my head and it's destroying me Plum: SAME like drake and josh or something Han: HAN TSKS QUIETLY Keva: keva bites her lip trying not to laugh Psalm: he 😏

As Han fails to bully psalm, Jeremiah rises up from the bow and sits again before continuing on with his speech.

Jeremiah: "no need to humble yourselves, i give gratitude where i believe it is due" and smiles before speaking again, unbeknown to the bullshit occurring in front of him “what I would like to discuss first is that you have all been formally pardoned. This was done earlier in word at your court hearing but I’d like to inform you that is now officially on our records." he continues on "i am also having the two guardsman knighted for their efforts but I feel a party as yourselves typically appreciates more material goods in exchange for a task done.” He smirks slightly and turns towards his attendant “Please inform them?” Attendant: the attendant quickly bows before turning to address you all “The Dorinian Monarchy thanks you for your efforts in securing our grand city of Shorewater. In exchange your party, the Vengaboys, shall be gifted a lump sum of 35,000 gold, in addition to your formal pardon” the attendant finishes speaking Psalm: AIRSHIP HERE WE COME BABY Rokka: ROKKAS EYES BULGE OUT AT HEARING THE MONEY Plum: MY EYES ALSO BULGE OUT Keva: YA KEVA'S JAW DROPS Han: (han counts on her fingers subtly)

Jeremiah: though he continues staring at them as if expecting more “…and?" Attendant: the attendant jumps to attention “ah…your majesty I was unsure if you were ah….and there’s the necessary checks we’d need to…”

The attendant babbles themselves into silence as Jeremiah continues staring at them expectantly before they cough and turn back towards the party.

Attendant: “The monarchy has also seen fit to ah, rehold the Elfonsent Ball in 2 weeks’ time, featuring you all as guests of honour for your undoubtedly heroic actions earlier on this day” they finish, giving a bow Jeremiah: he smiles happily, his hands tented in front of his face. Finn: he wonders if he's the one supposed to represent the group here and supposed to respond, noble and all. balling his fist and unballing it nervously. "W-we are grateful for your swift work and your generous reward, Consort Jeremiah." Finn bows again, a bit more this time. "We would gladly attend the rehold of the ball with great pride." Plum: plum is not really sure what to say, looks at finn and is like "yes.. uh... thank you." and coughs into their fist Cimmorro: "yea this is pretty pog not gonna lie" Rokka: ROKKA KIND OF FREAKING OUT Han: han still counting Keva: she kinda is just like "what the fuck" almost silently to herself Psalm: psalm's like deadpan: "Your Majesty you really don't have to do that." Jeremiah: he smiles at your response "wonderful to hear young barvotte" before turning to you psalm and he laughs "as far as im concerned were underpaying you after that report but we need to manage expenses to deal with the aftermath. there is the matter of corpse location, cleanup and funerary services… sections of the city will need to be sanctioned off until these are complete. funerary services and body identification...we will hold a mourning service once all has been organised but afterwards” he picks up and begins twirling his quill in one hand Finn: finn fidgets nervously at how the king consort seemingly doesn't mind his awful anxiety. tries to smile. keyword tries. Psalm: psalm just ^_^ Cimmorro: "may i ask whose funerary services are you hiring?" Jeremiah: he turns to you "we'll most likely enlist the church of heiron as they have a great base in the city already, but i am considering asking after other churches aid as well, depending on the number we will have to handle" Keva: keva looks up from her daze at the mention of church of heiron Jeremiah: he continues on while still spinning the quill continuing after in thought “…elfonsent spell is about forging connections with one another, deep in the throes of springtime. recent events have no doubt stoked hostility and suspicions, gossip about the perpetrators and despite what information we put out, people will harbour their fears still. After all of this I want to give people something to smile about, and some heroes to shower with praise” he tilts his head with a glint in his eye and smiles “you need not attend if you’d not like to publicly, but it would be a great boon to have you all be present, your free to invite guests as well to your hearts desire" Han: han goes : D at that

Psalm: what's with all the old men pressuring us today Chip: welcome to my dilf pressure cooker

Cimmorro: also cimm's going to pipe up "i come from the church of wee jas. we specialise in funerary services and i'd be honoured to lend a hand if your majesty needs an extra pair" Jeremiah: he raises a brow "oh? is that so? if you would like to i would appreciate the help greatly, as well as if you had any other contact to jasidian temples you could make. i'll assemble information regarding the inspection and cleanup for you at a later date then" Finn: "Oh, I don't mean to appear rude, but is Vorde Barvotte accounted for in this invitation?" Finn manages to work up the courage to ask. Jeremiah: he turns to you finn "yes he is invited as well, just as he was the previous one. it would be gauche for me to retract it now" Cimmorro: cimm would just smile at the blessing of being able to contact other temples and go "awesome! thank you i'm looking forward to working for you, your majesty!" he is genuinely happy abt this all for once Jeremiah: he nods his head at you cimmorro and moves to address you all again "i thank you all again, you may rest at the palace this evening. In the morning you will be summoned to receive your compensation before you leave. Over the coming weeks I will send liaisons with documents for you to sign in regards to your involvement with the events below ground, as well as your formal invitations to the next ball. as you go please give your current lodgings over to my attendant here” he begins turning his attention back to the documents at his hands “have a good evening vengaboys”

The attendant shuffles forward around the table towards the group with parchment and quill in hand, expectantly waiting to take down their addresses. The group all give their current lodgings in their business district inn’s, Keva just gives the inn’s name verbally.

As they all finish off the meeting, the group are all led out of the room and then back down the palace stairs followed by royal guardsman. As they reach the ground floor they nod and take guard at the stairs, allowing the group to then wander as they please.

The guardsman briefly point them in the direction of their guest rooms, one of the smaller buildings near the royal guard barracks inside the walls. The party find the rest of the evening to themselves to wish as they wish, at a ripe time of 7:30 PM.

Notes

👨‍👩‍👦‍👦👨‍👨‍👧‍👦The Party have been informed on their potential future travel routes to Antessa...

⭐Vinny’s safety has been relayed to the Accord

👤Ezra and 🧰Cole continue to be MIA

#recaps #200818 #splitting these bc they werent close enough to warrant a double and also bc they are SO FKING LONG

0 notes

softspideys · 7 years ago

Text

Are you okay? (Peter Parker x Reader) (Part IV)

Part I Part II Part III

summary: while walking home alone one night, you find you’re being followed by a group of men. a certain masked hero swoops in to save the day before it’s too late.

warnings: none

words: 2.5k

pairings: peter parker x reader

a/n: this is it, the last chapter! i’m sorry this took so long, i was away for the weekend and then i’ve been sick all week and ugh. but anyway, thank you all so much for reading and please feel free to send me some requests!!! love y’all xoxoxo

You woke up feeling like garbage. You sat at your kitchen table, slowly eating your cereal, putting your spoon in the bowl and then in your mouth in a robotic motion. Your mom eyed you over her cup of coffee.

“Are you feeling alright?” she asked worriedly. “You don’t look so good. Did you get any sleep last night?”

You hadn’t, of course. After Spider-Man left you on your fire escape, you’d crawled back through the window and huddled under your covers, spending the rest of the night replaying your conversation over and over and wondering where things had gone wrong.

One second, the two of you were laughing and flirting. The next, he was pulling away from you, claiming you didn’t really want to know the person underneath the mask. But how could you not?

“Yeah,” you said now, trying to muster up a smile. “I just, um, have an exam today that I’m nervous about.” You felt a little bad lying, but this situation was way beyond explaining.

At school, you opened your locker and stared into it, almost contemplating your books rather than grabbing them. Suddenly, someone dropped their books a few feet away from you, sending papers flying all over the hall and startling you out of your trance.

You turned around. Peter Parker was standing there, a stricken look on his face as he looked at the mess all over the floor. Slowly, he knelt and began picking up his things.

“Nice one, Penis Parker,” Flash Thompson cackled as he walked by, kicking some of his papers farther down the hall for good measure. Peter didn’t answer, but you saw his shoulders hunch even more, like he was trying to disappear.

It didn’t look like anyone was going to step in, so you did, putting your backpack down and crouching to help him. “Thanks,” he mumbled, but when he looked up and saw it was you, he paled. “Y/N – what are you – I mean – you don’t have to help me,” he said quickly.

However, you were more taken aback by the dark circles under his eyes. If you looked bad, he looked ten times worse. “Peter,” you said quietly, “are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said, turning away from you so he could shove the last of his papers into his backpack. “Just lost my balance.”

“Peter, wait -” you began. Something wasn’t right, you could tell.

But he stood up, shouldering his backpack. “Thanks for helping me. I’ll see you in class.” Before you could say anything else, he was on his feet and practically sprinting away.

You didn’t see Peter again until later that day in math class. He had his head resting on his arms, staring listlessly at the board. When your teacher announced it was time to split into partners and do some problems in the book, you spun around in your seat. “Be my partner?”

He blinked at you, clearly surprised. “Sure.”

“Cool.” The two of you worked in amicable silence for a few minutes. You could feel him sneaking glances at you, but you didn’t speak. Finally, you asked casually, “So, you gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he said immediately. “I’m just tired.”

You gave him a look. “Nice try. I know that’s not true. C’mon, Peter, you can tell me. I promise I won’t laugh.”

“I know you won’t,” he muttered. “It’s just – I don’t know.”

“What?” you pressed.

With a sigh, he admitted quietly, “I messed up with someone I like. Really badly.”

You almost laughed at how ironic it was. “That’s funny, because I did too.”

He looked at you with wide eyes. “You – you did?”

“Yeah.”

“What’d you do?”

“I pushed him to tell me something really personal. He didn’t want to. He thinks, I don’t know, that it’ll affect how I feel about him.”

“Maybe it will,” Peter suggested. “Maybe he thinks you’ll be disappointed, or angry.” You couldn’t be sure, but it sounded like his voice was shaking a little.

You shook your head. “That’s the thing. I know it won’t. There’s nothing that could happen that would make me disappointed or angry with him. I don’t care about anyone else; just him. I just wish I could’ve told him that.” You looked up at Peter and saw he was staring at you, his cheeks slightly red. “Sorry,” you said apologetically. “Was that an overshare? We were talking about you.”

“No, it’s okay,” he said, clearing his throat.

“So, what did you do to mess things up?”

“I pushed her away when she was only trying to get close to me. And I told myself it was for her safety, but really I think it’s because I’m scared.”

“Why are you scared?” you asked.

“Because . . . because it would mean letting someone see a part of me that’s really private. And, you know, I don’t want it to be the wrong person or anything. Not that I think it is, I just – I don’t know. I’m just scared,” he rambled. You noticed he tended to do that when he was nervous. The habit was familiar, but you couldn’t put your finger on why.

“I guess you’d just have to really trust this person,” you said thoughtfully. “You know, like trust that they won’t hurt you. But you sort of have to do that with every relationship, right?”

“I guess so. I just feel like I ruined everything and now I won’t even be able to tell her how I feel.”

You nodded slowly. “Well, do you really care about her?”

“Yeah,” he said softly. “I really do.”

“Then it can’t be totally ruined, can it? I think you should tell her all of that. If she’s worth it, she’ll understand.”

There was a pause as Peter considered it. “Yeah,” he said finally. “Maybe I will.” He smiled at you. “Thanks.”

You smiled back, but it felt a little forced. For some reason, the idea of Peter caring so much about another girl didn’t sit right with you. Were you jealous? You had no right to be. Peter was your friend and that was it. You had bigger problems right now.

__________________________________________________________________

In hindsight, you shouldn’t have been surprised when Spider-Man came to visit you that night. It was only midnight, but you were already in bed, fast asleep. The past few days had been exhausting.

A tap on your window woke you with a start. For a moment, you feared the worst, thinking a robber or a murderer or something, but when you peeked out, all you saw was the familiar flash of red and blue.

Spider-Man waved at you and motioned for you to come out. You briefly considered ignoring him, but knew you wouldn’t. You put on some shoes and joined him out on the fire escape.

“Hey.”

“Sorry for waking you up.”

“What are you doing here?” you asked coolly.

“I came to apologize,” he said, looking down at his feet. “I shouldn’t have run away like that. I was just scared.”

Hearing Spider-Man admit that he, too, could be scared made you soften. “I’m sorry, too,” you said. “I shouldn’t have tried to force you into something you didn’t want to do.”

“You were right, though,” he said, taking a step towards you. “If we’re going to do . . . this . . . then we need to be honest. And as long as I’m wearing this, I’ll never get to be 100% honest with you.”

You didn’t answer, scarcely daring to breathe. Was he really saying what you thought he was saying? “I just don’t want you to be disappointed,” he said, and he almost sounded like a little kid.

You shook your head. “I won’t be. I know I won’t be.”

“Okay.” Spider-Man clenched his fists, and it sounded like he was taking some deep breaths. You watched, eyes wide, as he slowly reached up and lifted his mask. You saw pale skin, pink lips, no stubble, dark eyes . . .

And now Peter Parker was looking at you, equal parts hopeful and terrified. You felt like your heart was going to stop, like your mind was racing at a million miles per hour.

“Oh . . . my God,” you said finally.

His face fell. “You’re disappointed. I knew you would be. God, I’m so dumb, I –”

“No,” you interrupted. “No, I’m not. I just . . . need a second.” You stared at him, and he stared back, each taking the other in. The moment felt profound somehow, like you were going down a road there was no turning back from.

“It was you,” you said in wonder. “It was you this whole time.”

“Yeah,” Peter said nervously. “Are - are you mad at me?”

You considered it. You knew you had every right to be, but for some reason you just . . . weren’t. “No,” you admitted. “Not at the moment, anyway. I think I’m still in shock, maybe?”

“Oh,” Peter looked even more bewildered.

“I’m mostly just embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed? Why?”

“Because I literally talked about you to you! And you knew it all along!” Your eyes widened. “I told you how much I liked you! I confided in you . . . about you?”

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Peter said quickly. “If anything I should be embarrassed. I kind of used Spider-Man as a way to get to talk to you because I was too dorky to do it at school.”

“It’s okay,” you said instantly. “I’m glad you did.”

He smiled a little. “How about we both agree to stop being embarrassed?”

“Sounds good to me,” you said. He held out his hand, and you shook. “So . . . what now?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never really done this before.”

“You mean you’ve never told anyone?” you asked, shocked and a little pleased.

“Um, well, Ned knows. But he found out by accident - long story,” Peter said when you raised your eyebrows. “Basically I crawled through my window and he was there waiting for me to come home, so. Yeah.”

“Your aunt doesn’t even know?”

“No, and I’m kind of hoping it stays that way, like, forever. She’s already lost so much. I’m all she has.”

“So you just sneak in and out of your room every night to go fight bad guys? And she has no idea?” you said incredulously. No wonder Peter always looked so tired.

“Pretty much.”

“What if you get hurt?”

“I heal pretty fast. Or I just cover them up.” He shrugged, trying to be nonchalant, but you could tell that it was just a front.

“That’s a lot for a fifteen-year-old to carry by himself,” you said gently. “What happens when Spider-Man needs someone to save him?”

“He saves himself,” Peter said, not meeting your eyes. “He has to.”

“Not anymore,” you said, your voice quiet. “If you ever get hurt, or you just need to talk . . . come here, okay? Let me help you like you helped me.”

“I don’t want to burden you, and really, it’s no big deal, usually I just –”

“Peter,” you interrupted. ‘I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it. And I really mean it.”

“Okay,” he whispered. “Thank you.”

You swallowed, gathering all of your courage. “I really like you. A lot. And I know it’s dangerous and whatever but I kind of don’t care. Because I think you’re a great person and you care so much about everyone and I feel like you deserve to have someone care about you too. If that makes any sense.”

Peter stared at you, brown eyes wide. “I really like you too,” he said slowly. “And . . . if you really want this, then yeah. It might be selfish of me, but yeah.”

“I think you deserve to be selfish for once, Peter Parker,” you said with a roll of your eyes. He laughed.

Now that you knew his secret, you were able to ask him questions about being Spider-Man, and he was relieved to finally be able to answer them. You sat together on your fire escape and the two of you talked about what felt like everything: the so-called “Stark Internship,” meeting the Avengers, how he constantly felt like he had to prove himself since he was so much younger and inexperienced, even the night he saved you, which up until now you wanted nothing more than to forget.

You could tell he was trying his hardest not to constantly mention Mr. Stark, but despite this, nearly every single one of his sentences began with “Mr. Stark told me . . .” or “Mr. Stark did . . .” or “Mr. Stark thinks . . .” You could tell you were probably going to be spending a lot of your time competing with Mr. Stark for Peter’s affection, but you didn’t mind. You knew that Peter essentially idolized the man, and he looked out for Peter almost in a fatherly way. It was sweet.

Peter also told you about some big missions he’d been on and how they were fun, especially going to Berlin, but he mostly just liked helping people in your neighborhood. “Just think,” he said, poking you, “if I became an Avenger full-time, we never would’ve met.”

“Yeah, because you never would’ve saved me from those guys,” you pointed out, smirking when he blushed. You weren’t offended; it was just funny to see him get flustered.

“Oh yeah. Right. Sorry.”

No matter how much you tried to force them down, you finally started yawning. “You should sleep,” Peter said.

“So should you,” you challenged him.

“That doesn’t sound like a bad idea, honestly,” he said with a shrug. He stood up and went to put his mask back on. “I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow?”

Great. You were in the weird stage of beginning to date, where neither of you were comfortable enough to initiate your first kiss yet. You knew Peter was too respectful (and awkward) to try anything, so you decided to take matters into your own hands.

“Wait,” you said, standing up. He paused, looking at you questioningly. You walked over to him, stood on your toes, grabbed his face, and kissed him.

Any worrying thoughts you had in your mind at that moment immediately vanished, because he responded so enthusiastically that you knew he’d been wanting to do the same. He dropped his mask on the ground and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer and kissing you back.

All this time you’d been wondering what it would be like to kiss Spider-Man, and now you were currently finding out. Only it didn’t feel like Spider-Man; it just felt like Peter. But that was good. It was really good.

After what felt like ages, the two of you broke apart. You would’ve happily stayed like that forever, wrapped up in his arms, but then Peter leaned in to kiss you again . . . and the two of you bumped heads.

“Ow!” you said together, pulling back to rub your own respective foreheads.

“Jeez,” Peter said, looking embarrassed. “I don’t know why I – why are you laughing?”

You had begun to giggle, mostly just at the absurdness of the situation but also because you were just happy. He didn’t sound annoyed, just puzzled and amused. You shook your head to let him know it wasn’t at him.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Peter said with a sheepish grin, pressing several small, affectionate kisses to your forehead. “Are you okay?”

You smiled up at him and nodded. “Yeah. I’m perfect.”

#peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #peter parker #spiderman #spiderman: homecoming #spider-man: homecoming #spiderman imagine #marvel imagine #avengers imagine #spiderman x you #peter parker x you #avengers fanfiction #spiderman fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #writing

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imterriblypleased-blog · 7 years ago

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Platonic David Dobrik - Depression (Requested)

Request: can you do a platonic David Dobrik imagine where the reader has become increasingly more isolated from everyone and he confronts her about it, and she admits that she's trying really hard not to kill herself but everything has just been really hard lately? thank you

A/N: Okay - II went a little off track from the request and gave it a lot more of my own detail rather than sticking to what i was supposed to. Sorry to the anon and anyone waiting on this imagine. Feel 100% free to request again but more generalized because i am more than happy to re-write. Im still new and learning to stay on topic and not to put so much backstory in. Im also still learning and working on the actual writing itself along with punctuation and grammar so bare with me, I’ll get there! (im also still working on my continuous struggle with changing POVS accidentally. Im trying very hard to correct that) I just really wanted to say this hear because im not 100% happy how this turned out. In saying that, FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED! i will NEVER be offended by constructive criticism and i appreciate honestly. Anyway, Stay safe kids xox

Triggers: Mentions of depression and suicide.

Word Count: 1199

(Your POV)

You’ve been best friends with David and Gabbie since the first day of high school. We were drawn to each other because we were all the funny/ nerdy type. Each one of us had braces, we were not at all popular, nor the target of bullying. We kind of just existed. But we existed together, with our matching senses of humor and strikingly similar interests.

The only difference between us then and now – is puberty. We’d all gotten our braces off, Gabbie and I grew all the right parts in all the right places and David, well David just got taller.

Oh. and Gabbie and David were internet famous.

Gabbie was the first to move to LA, and we all supported her. It only made sense considering her YouTube channel and Vine account had blown up to such large extents. David and I were both incredibly proud. When David finally made the choice, he asked If you wanted to come along to live with him. You weren’t a YouTuber, or a Vine star, or anything. You chose not to jump on the vine train because sure you were confident and funny, you just didn’t enjoy the spotlight; One of the very few differences between you and your best friends. You decided instead to attend university in hopes of becoming a teacher one day. But that didn’t really work out…You had been working with some mental issues in the last few months. Nothing you’d ever told David or Gabbie about. They were living the dream, you wouldn’t dare to anything to compromise their happiness at this point in their lives.

3 years later and you’re living in LA with your best friend and his roommates, Alex and Dom. Our apartment is a ten-minute drive to Gabbie’s and yeah, life is pretty good. I work at hooters with David’s friend Corina, - I know. Okay, I know. I’m not exceling in terms of my career but I’m getting there. I’m in TAFE studying my CERT 3 in WWC. First step to a future working with children. And David (being the amazing – and rich – best friend he is) pays most of my bills, for now.

Alex, Dom, Jason, Nik, Corina and David were currently all squashed together on the couch watching ‘The Terminator’ on the TV in the lounge. And you were in your room. In bed. Asleep. At 7pm. David had walked in to offer you Chinese take-out about an hour ago, but you refused, you weren’t hungry. Just like last night, and the night before. He frowned a little as he left your room and shut the door gently behind him.

A week goes by and it’s the same routine. You’ve had 5 ‘sick’ days off work in a row. You rarely eat dinner, or even get of bed to shower. You’re miserable. You feel as though you don’t even have a valid reason to be sad, you just are. You’re working in a dead-beat job watching your best friends become crazy successful, not to mention you owe thousands of dollars to the government for student loans. Life is just draining.

You continue to suffocate in this deep dark hole of despair for 2 more months before it completely consumes you. You quit your job, dropped out of school, stopped brushing your hair, eating, drinking, brushing your teeth. You stopped everything because you were ready to die.

Its taken a ridiculous amount of effort up to this point in time not to just step out in front of a moving car while you’re crossing the street, or take a few extra anti-depressants that you were prescribed 4 years ago, back home when you first began battling with this illness. These feelings of uselessness and hopelessness merely heightened your sickness, and made it stronger. Watching your closest friends glide through life while you’re constantly tripping and falling and tumbling just fueled the fire.

It was a Saturday afternoon. David, Gabbie and David’s girlfriend Liza were all Over at David’s other friend Heath and Zane’s apartment filming. While you had still to wake. It came to 4 o’clock in the afternoon and you had finally woken up from your 18-hour slumber, but you had yet to get out of bed. You just lay there, not even thinking, Just still.

Of course, until David knocks on your door. “Y/N” he called. “Can we talk?” You hesitated.

“yea” you mumbled, you didn’t bother to act happy anymore. That shipped had sailed months ago.

David walked over to you and sat down next to you on your bed as you slowly pull yourself up into a sitting position.

“I can’t keep ignoring this y/n” “I won’t”

At this point you can’t even feel ashamed. In this situation, a couple of months ago you would have been embarrassed, ashamed, sad, angry - anything. But the emotions just, weren’t there. In the absence of any sort of filter, you began to speak.

“Nothing means anything to me anymore. Not my job. Not my education.” “Not my life”

You’re staring at the empty space in front of you.

“I can’t tell you how hard it has been for me, in the past few months to keep living.” “It’s so hard. Living in your shadow. Watching you guys succeed and leave me behind. I feel worthless. I am worthless”

Your voice lacks emotion. Your face is blank. David’s is not.

“y/n, do you really feel that way?” You hear his voice shake. In the absence of his camera, his voice is a lot deeper. Deep and hearty enough to reach somebodies soul. But not mine. Mine is untouchable.

I didn’t respond.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” “I’ve been worried about you sore awhile now but I didn’t know it was this serious. I could have helped, I – I still can” David was becoming restless his eyes darting around the room, contemplating, deciding, taking in the situation.

Your head dropped and you stare at your hands. Your heart is suddenly invaded with pure sadness, so much that it physically hurts. “I don’t think you can” you said quietly, your voice trembling and breaking as you spoke. Your eyes begin to well up with tears, almost as if all the pain and numbness has all projected itself into your eye sockets and you’re finally expressing all the depression built up over the years. It’s almost satisfying.

David immediately takes you in his arms and allows you to cry aggressively into his shoulder. Your crying becomes so intense and that you’re barely breathing and your throat becomes congested with hiccups and weasing, but this eventually dyes down to a silent sob.

Once you’ve let everything out, you just rest calmly with your head on David’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t come to you sooner. I’m sorry that iv been so distracted that I didn’t even realize my best friend was hurting” David says, barely above a whisper. “Look at me, Y/N” He gently cups my face and stares into my eyes. “We are going to get through this. We will seek help, and get you better. You understand?” “You’re my best friend, I can’t live without you”

#david dobrik #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik fanfic #depression #suicide #self harm #mental health #mental illness #platonic #requests #send me requests

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webcricket · 7 years ago

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Nudge Theory

Characters: CastielXReader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

Word Count: 1465 (Act IV - Part I)

A/N: A five act mini-series. The reader and Castiel must work together to solve the curious case of the missing Winchesters. Fluff, smut, and a plot for kicks. Whatever happened to Sam and Dean Winchester anyway? Act IV is conveyed from the brothers’ perspective – their whereabouts and mischievous plotting revealed as the tables are unexpectedly turned. Action-packed fluff-filled conclusion coming your way next week!

Completed Series Masterlist:

webcricket.tumblr.com/post/162181272535/nudge-theory-masterlist

(X)

Nudge [verb] –

· “Coax or gently encourage someone to do something.”

Act IV - Part I

“Y/N sounded pissed,” Dean snickered, tone not at all apologetic for the wild goose chase he and Sam sent you running on for the last couple of days. Driving up to the motel you and the angel were staying in, he set the Impala’s parking brake and smoothly released the clutch.

“Yeah, well Cas didn’t sound too pleased either,” Sam pointed out, groping blindly for his bag in the backseat, “you of all people know he hates being dicked around with. Well-meaning intentions aside, that’s exactly what happened here.”

“And there’s the real beauty of it Sammy,” Dean grasped his brother by the shoulder, “their shared anger will bring them even closer together. Real bonding material! Besides, how many times has Cas up and disappeared for days or weeks without so much as a word? No way in hell I’m feeling guilty about this one time, especially if it means he gets past this whole Debbie Downer shtick he’s been hung up on lately.”

“Right Dean. How totally selfless of you,” Sam smiled incredulously, shaking his head at his brother’s hair-brained scheming as he exited the car into the breezy night air. The metallic clatter of an ice bucket buffeted about the asphalt parking lot by the wind momentarily caught his attention. He dismissed it as a trivial detail.

Dean could barely contain the triumphant swagger threatening to burst forth from his person at any moment in the form of a victory dance, his green eyes flashing firework sparks in the pale artificial light as he hopped the small decorative fence in front of your motel door.

Setting you and Cas up to work a case together as a pre-text for meeting and falling hopelessly in love had been his idea. He’d known you for a good long while, appreciating your spunky but patient personality (spunky, but patient enough to endure his goofy shenanigans with a laugh and flat-out ignore any advances he made). He’d called you in on a few cases here and there over the years, keeping in touch with enough regularity to know you were still single and a little bit lonely as most hunters of your indomitable ilk tended to be. He also remembered your keen interest in hearing detailed accounts of his friend Cas, so much so you asked after the angel you’d never laid eyes upon every occasion you and Dean spoke, with Dean more than obliging in recounting (and frequently exaggerating) their unbelievable adventures – expounding Cas’ virtues like he was some fairy-tale prince for you to pine after. A supremely competent wingman, Dean laid the groundwork for your amorous inclinations toward the angel long before he knew what he was laying the groundwork for.

One caseless evening, teetering at the precipice of drunken insentience over a half-empty bottle of whisky with his mopey angelic friend planted dejectedly across the table droning on and on about bees or failure or some such nonsense to Dean’s disinterested ears, Dean’s inebriated mind divined the genius idea that you and Cas would be perfect for one another. Lord knew Cas needed someone spunky to inject some fun into his existence and show him the lighter side of life, someone patient and willing to listen to his endlessly odd meandering contemplations, to deal with his lack of hobbies beyond shadowing the brothers and the increasingly annoying 24/7 angels-don’t-require-sleep pacing of the bunker halls. Sure, Cas was family, but even family had its limits.

Cas likely would have brushed off Dean’s idea with nary a second thought, except for once Dean managed to kept his notoriously bombastic mouth shut. Sort of – he’d passed out, a thin string of spittle flowing over silent loose lips and cascading across the freckled back of his hand to pool on the table. Cas noted Dean did some of his most sincere listening whilst peaceably unconscious – mostly because the lack of voluntary muscle control severely hindered his ability to roll his eyes at the angel’s absurdly random musings.

Unlike Dean’s typical drunken theories, the notion of hooking you and Cas up still seemed absolutely brilliant when he awoke the next morning, head throbbing, cheek stuck to hand in turn stuck to table. Luckily, the first person he laid eyes on and enthusiastically spilled the proverbial beans to was his brother. Over a greasy diner breakfast to absorb whatever alcohol still circulated in Dean’s system and to avoid Cas’ innocently snooping angelic ears, Sam agreed to go along with the plan, primarily because Dean clearly wasn’t going to drop it any time soon and it was the fastest way to shut him up about it. Sam argued one caveat. He knew neither you or Cas would go along willingly on a traditional blind date. He also knew his brother would be unable to function in any kind of a normal and not overtly meddlesome capacity if you all simply worked a case together as an introduction. No, you had to be gently nudged in the right direction, free will and all being of utmost import – you and Cas had to choose each other, or at the very least have the illusion of choice.

Constructing a believable farce of a case (the best lies are based on truths – what better truth than a real case), setting the stage (leaving just enough clues in the bunker and bread crumbs in town to pique your interest and persistent concern), pulling the strings (ensuring you and Cas would both be at their beck and call at the same time and be compelled to help), and getting the logistics of the charade in place (easy-peasy when your late father, John Winchester, is something of a minor celebrity in the incredibly small town of Clifton Springs, NY where he saved the life of a perpetually grateful mayor’s son and his betrothed 13 years prior – all the folks in town practically tripping over each other to play their part in the strange production) – that was all 100% Sam Winchester. Yet despite Sam’s innumerable contributions without which none of this would have happened, and because the effort appeared to have been a resounding success based on Dean’s earlier phone call to Cas wherein he learned you and the angel evidently had gotten to know each other as intimately as possible, Dean Winchester intended to take full responsibility as match-maker extraordinaire.

Stationed before the motel door, fist poised to knock, Dean squared his shoulders and cleared his throat, donning a somber expression as he prepared to bask humbly in the glory of your everlasting gratitude.

Rolling his eyes, thoroughly done with the drama, Sam reached a lanky arm around his brother and thwacked a knuckle on the door – the door swung ominously inward without resistance.

Satisfaction stolen, Dean glowered at his brother before stepping jauntily across the threshold into the darkened room.

Intuiting something amiss, Sam’s bag dropped to the ground with a dull thud, his fingers instinctively reaching for and withdrawing the knife tucked discreetly inside his brown corduroy jacket. “Dean,” he warned in a hushed tone, yanking his brother stumbling backward by the coat collar.

“What?!” Dean whined, swatting Sam’s hand aside, ego too puffed up to recognize the blatant signs of a violent struggle before him.

“Dean, seriously?” Sam snorted, setting his jaw in the harsh manner that sufficed to belay both his worry and derision. He flicked the switch by the door, shedding further light on the situation.

Dean dispassionately examined the room – focus gliding over the unmade bed, overturned chairs and busted table, smashed picture frame, and random spattering of vivid red viscous fluid on the dingy carpet and multiple walls. He shrugged, snorting in retort, “Like I said, what?”

Sam’s square jaw threatened to dislocate just then under the gnashing force of teeth required to bite his tongue.

“Look, they’re just trying to get back at us,” Dean strode forward, picking up a snapped bloodied stump of table leg, using the pointed sliver of crimson painted wood to motion grandiosely around the room, “play us at our own game. The whole thing’s obviously staged.”

Wits undamped by over-inflated ego, Sam’s eyes alit on a wrinkled piece of pale beige toned mottled oddly familiar point of something vaguely flesh-like protruding out beneath the disjointed bed. Closer examination revealed the thing to be a crudely severed finger. And judging from the knobby rheumatic knuckles and age spots decorating the amputated bit, the severed finger of someone apparently elderly in years.

Dean could find no feasible way to explain this detached digit away as part of an elaborate payback hoax. You and Cas were indeed missing – really, actually, genuinely, and concerningly missing. Fortunately for everyone involved, Dean retains the remarkable ability to transition from jester to bad-ass hunter faster than anyone else in the known universe.

Continue Reading Act IV - Part II:

webcricket.tumblr.com/post/161871554020/nudge-theory

#castiel x reader #castiel x you #castiel series #castiel reader insert #castiel fluff #castielxreader #castiel fanfic #casxreader #cas x reader #cas fluff #castiel #spn series #spn reader insert #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel x y/n #cricket writes cas

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mysisterclaire · 8 years ago

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Claire’s everlasting bucket of kindness.

Apologies in advance for not sticking to either past or present tense, my brain is fried. I’m not entirely sure I can read it & edit it again...

I try hard not to dwell on what I am missing out on, not having Claire around. What her interactions would be as Judy has gotten older & the relationship she would have had with Ada (For the record, she would have snorted gleefully at Ada’s cheekiness, egging it on & making my eyes roll - they would have got up to terrible fun together.) It’s a pointless heart wrenching exercise.

And whilst I find it easy to write about Claire’s bravado & gusto. Her sunshine energy, some silly funny story, what I struggle to write about is her innate kindness & softness. Because this is where I feel her loss the most. This is what kills me about her not being here. And to give time contemplating that, I tend to have to hold my breath to stop myself from hyperventilating.

I need to write this particular blogpost. It is important I post it. I need everyone & Claire to know how much I needed her too, and how I wish I had said it when she was here.

The place I want to go to is hers. I want to sit in her light green living room, take my shoes off, sit on my feet on her couch & be surrounded by the scent of green fig (’Smell it Sarah, SMELL IT, It’s green fig, its frigging green friggidy fig it smells amazing. I fucking love it. Look I’ve got the candle, the pot pourri, the sticks. Do you love it?’ Shaking each item with excitement & then forcefully sticking that shit so far into my face I can taste it.). I want her to ask me what brand of wanky tea do I want today. (She had a load of tea samples especially for wanky old me in her cupboard). I want her to make me Heinz Mushroom soup and fat sliced white bread or the egg mayo she had prepared in advance because she knew I was coming. She understatedly made a fuss of me. She always made my sandwiches. From when we were in secondary school, even when we both worked out in the big wide world. And I would always eat them at first break or by 10am because I couldn’t wait. She had put the love into them and a multitude of gooood ingredients. They were proper amazing full sandwiches not just a wafer thin slice of ham stuffed between two slices of dry bread because I couldn’t be bothered. I want to sit all cosy in her living room or loiter in the doorway of her kitchen & chitter chatter or tell her my current issues & for her to look at me with her huge empathic brown eyes, as she felt what I was going through & knowing that if she couldn’t make it better she could make me laugh just by saying something ridiculous or belching (she could sing ’Its all about the money, its all about the dum dum diddy dum dum’ in one burp). Hers would be the one place I could go to to make everything better. It is kind of where I need to go. But she isn’t there anymore.

I miss having her place to go, where I could fully be relaxed & myself, not care about offending, but perhaps even purposefully doing so. Just going somewhere to irritate someone. You can get away with that when it is your sister. And I miss being able to give that to Claire too. I miss her frequent pop ins, with the 10 minutes it took her to park her car & her silly faces at the window met with my silly faces walking to answer the door to her. The ability to talk about absolute boring weird shit or just sit in comfortable silence watching a film, legs entwined on the sofa, slapping her hand out of the sweets. I miss retelling a story & adding ‘and then I called BULLSHIT on everything they said & left’ and her face lighting up, asking ‘NO! Really?!?’ & me responding ‘No, but I wanted to.’ and we’d laugh and laugh and laugh. And then, in practisced synchronicity, we’d add a funny line from Todd in Neighbours from when we were 11/12 that made us laugh hysterically - ‘Cos thats the kind of guy I am’ & dramatically turn on our heels. She just had to look at me & we’d laugh.

I miss the unedited unfiltered texts & messages. I miss the ‘tling tling tling’ of her sending me direct messages on facebook - her not writing paragraphs, she’d irritatingly press send after every fricking line - oh god it was annoying - especially at 6am when she was out walking Banjo & I was snuggled & rejoicing that Judy was sleeping in. But I miss it. I have wanted to tell her about Judy’s disappearing, reappearing outtie belly button - I’m not entirely sure why were so obsessed with belly buttons... but they always made us giggle, especially as Claire’s was so cavernous. I wanted to text her after giving birth to Ada ‘Ive done my first poo & haven’t frank & beans’ed my stitches - hooray!’. I mean - you can’t put that on Facebook (and there you were thinking I didn’t have a filter - I really really do!!) & you definitely shouldn’t tell your husband - but I did, because I didn’t have Claire - sorry Jamie! Songs, film quotes & impressions, shared memories just aren’t the same with out her. Its just another blow, huge emptyness washes over me. It’s shit.

I am a little socially awkward & don’t really know what to say at parties etc - I always relied on Claire to balance that out. Always. I felt confident knowing she was there & I could call her over as soon as I started internally panicking with the conversation She was always so bubbly with something funny to say. I didn’t realise how much I relied on that. At her funeral talking to her friends & getting a bit tongue tied I was scanning the room for Claire. The amount of times I almost said ‘Claire will be here soon’ & had to stop myself whilst smuggling a gut kick was laughable. Perhaps with every single person I spoke to. I didn’t wise up to the permanence of it. Even when the subject was her loss.

I miss the confidence of having someone who always has your back. Who will not give a shit & contraversially or not - go up to the person who had been subtley been making my life hell & have it out with them because I couldn’t do it. Even if its at my wedding party, under the radar, with a smile on her face - attack like for bloody like. POW! She was amazing. You can pretty much guarantee if anyone has a bad word to say about Claire, its because she’s had it out with them & they know they deserved it & they didn’t like it. Its a good feeling having someone who will stick up for you when you are down. Who will not let you take shit. Its actually great feeling & Claire was brilliant. She was Scrappy Doo.

It’s also the small things, like me being so concerned with sunscreen & sun hats for Judy, I forgot my own & that’s particularly stupid, being ginger & all. Claire turns up with a Factor 50 for me that won’t make me feel like I’m wearing a jumper as she has heard me complain about this all my life. She sees I’m constantly in a quandry about the baby’s dummy falling on the floor & whether I need to steralise it, so she gets a clip for it & now it won’t fall- I never even knew those existed. Every time she visits she brings me my favourite sweets & every couple of months she comes with a pink pen & the newest photos of Judy printed to put in her Baby Book. I get frustrated by the constant questions like who was the best sportsperson of 2012 but simultaneously there is so much love & thought & effort being put in. I feel ungrateful, I was ungrateful & took everything for granted. She had paid attention to every little passing comment & one especially where I had said the smell a particular handwash/handcream reminds me of my nan & I can’t stop sniffing my hands, it makes me feel nice. Months later that is what I unwrap as a birthday present. I gushed with tears at the time & again, now, recalling it. Practically, emotionally, spiritually, she was there for me. It was impossible to be incompetent with Claire catching the balls I regularly dropped.

Coming up to Judy’s birthday I’m reminded of my time in hospital being induced. Claire had turned up with bags of stuff for Jamie & I. Her brilliant sandwiches in her own home made soda bread. My favourite sweets, lucozade for energy, chocolate of every description, an ipod with a playlist she had put together especially for me giving birth. ‘Listen to this one Sarah, it has a lot of energy for pushing’ handing me an ear phone, everything had turned to zigzags & I strain ‘fuck off’ mid contraction. I quickly apologise after. She had put in some pretty crap womens weeklies which were there to remind me that no matter how shit I feel during childbirth at least I’m not in a sexual relationship with the family dog. (I mean what the hell with these magazines? hahahaha). Making Jamie & I a weeks worth of food to put into the oven once we are home with the baby. Fantastic stews, pasta bakes, breads. She was right there all the time with support & fun.

Our wedding party night. She got Jamie & I a nights stay in a posh hotel. My mum & aunt looked after Judy. Claire had made us a picnic for the hotel. Again, home made sandwiches with homemade bread, crisps, champagne, wine, chocolate, coke for our hangovers. She was always treating us, always looking after us. Always there to make everything 100% better.

As part of my hen do celebrations, where it is becoming maybe customary to provide a photo & memories of time spent (or misspent in youth!) with the hen or indeedy some marriage advice, Claire had decided instead, to ask people for poo stories for me!!! Ask some of you for poo stories, some of you she didn’t know too well & asked anyway with no filter or hesitation. Imagine getting an email out of the blue from your mates sister asking for an embarrassing personal poo story!!! She asked family too, including my 85 year old nan in Ireland! ‘Nan, Sarah LOVES poo stories, c’mon you MUST have one’ All the stories collated & put with photos of my friends & family & presented to me at the most amazing Hen do ever! I could barely read it for tears, tears of laughter but also tears of recognising how much work had gone into this & how much Claire knew how much I’d love this! It was amazing! I had won the lottery with this gift.

I’ve described my tantrums in a previous post where dealing with the frustrations of Claire’s illness was the cause of some of them. There was one caused by work exhaustion. It was 2010 I was senior designer to a new music festival. The pressure was crazy, other members of the team had broken down already, left entirely, the hours were crazy, the sheer amount of work for months in advance of the event was horrendous (16 hour days 7 days a week in those last weeks) but it was also perhaps one of my greatest achievements. I am surprised I held it together - well I did until we were physically in the throes of the festival having fun. I couldn’t find Jamie & that was it, the straw that broke the camels back - the panic that induced was enough to send me over the edge. There I was in my red rain coat and wellies, wobbling forwards & backwards whilst simultaneously gathering pitch to a scream. I threw myself on the floor just outside of the crowd of the main stage (!!) & was pounding & kicking the ground. My brother picked me up, I was a sobbing mess. Claire, who ran to look for Jamie came running over & said she had found him, she was giggling & beckoning to me with her finger. I follow her with those loud hiccupy gasps & she leads me to this, humungous black guy - nothing like Jamie! He opens his arms & smiles this huge smile & tells me ‘I am your Jamie, come, give me a hug’. My sobs turn to uncontrolled laughter - It was a great hug - I can’t imagine the amount of snot I put on this guy! Finally, a very happy smily oblivious Jamie came bounding over & everything was grand. And this, just another funny mad story about how great Claire was. Below is the photo of the gang trying to cheer me up & me all soppy.

The hole she has left is indescribably immense. We were spoiled by having such a giving selfless person in our lives & I was lucky to have been so close for her 31 years. I have to tell myself that her love was so huge & generous that the effect will touch me forever more. And our relationship is something that I can only encourage my own two girls to have with each other.

#claire #sibling suicide

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