#like i mean i really really wont eat 90% of sandwiches. i pull pretty much everything off of a sandwich when i order one out

[darksouls2yuri]

you dont like sandwich burger....? looks away dejected

sorry... im pescatarian and not a fan of (90% of) sandwiches 😔

[deniigi]

I had a really bad day (I wont say why because I wouldnt want you to feel like I'm guilting you into anything) and I was wondering if maybe you had a dfv/lfv or inimitable verse drabble you havent put up or one on here you really like you could point me to (navigation is hard on mobile) or even just some like hcs. If not its totally ok! You dont owe me anything. But I thought I'd ask and see if that's ok.

Oh no!

Sorry that you had a rough day my dear. I don’t have much in the works for those verses right now (I’ve been hammering my head against a wall, trying to write out a piece exploring Gwen and Murderdock’s relationship–it’s not working tho, so I’m stopping). Of course any of the Clint-based pieces are fun in those verses if you need a pick me up, but I am equally fond of Chapter 13 of Sidebars.

But! If you don’t mind a little piece from Lying by Omission/The Sprawl I’ve got cute little bit of Jack and Ben going out to dinner with Matt and Peter?

I’ll put it under the cut if you’re down

—-

“Dad, let’s go out to eat.”

Jack didn’t trust that. Jack had been scarred by the durian. Permanently scarred. He was never coming back from the durian. He was etching a durian with a big ‘X’ through it into the top of his next coffin for future archaeologists to find and have absolutely no questions about.

Matt, sensing that he was presently not receiving the amount of attention that he could be receiving, oozed out of the kitchen and draped himself over the back of the couch, right behind Jack’s shoulders. Jack glanced to the side and noted that he was wearing shoes.

He wasn’t chancing it.

“No shoes on the couch,” he said.

“It’s my couch,” Matt hummed, already migrating over to the couch’s arm, no doubt to burrow his way under Jack’s own arm.

“It’s a couch.”

“My couch,” Matt hummed, plucking Jack’s phone out of his hand and tossing it callously to the other side of said couch. He then executed the burrow and wriggled himself over so that he was the sole occupant of Jack’s lap. He waited, as sweet as could be, until he had Jack’s more or less undivided attention.

The kid was heavy. Jack couldn’t tell if he knew just how heavy he was.

He suspected that he was more than aware of it.

Matt beamed at him. He did not pull his shoed feet over the couch’s arm.

A sign of obedience. Or perhaps a buttering-up technique.

Tricky, tricky.

“Why do we need to go out to eat? What’s wrong with what’s in the fridge?” Jack asked Matt’s untrustworthy grin.

It faded a little because there was a pout which needed doing.

“I’m tired of eating potatoes,” Matt huffed.

“Take it back,” Jack scolded him. “I won’t hear any raggin’ on tatties in this household.”

“I want rice.”

“I’ll make you rice, Matty.”

“I don’t want your rice.”

Picky little shit. Just like his mother. She’d been the type to refuse a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if the slop wasn’t equally distributed.

Jack’s rice was perfectly fine. It even had bits of onion in it. If he was feeling real fancy, he might even cook it in broth or something.

“Fine, so make rice yourself,” he said. Matt squirmed up and wrapped arms around Jack’s neck. He put his cheek against it and immediately made the skin there it itch.

“You need a shave,” Jack huffed, reaching back for his phone. Vanessa was doing battle with her replacement: Bella the cat. She was giving their zombie group the play by play of the her and the cat’s opposing campaigns to win Wade’s favor. Thus far, Bella had broken a plate and gotten scratchies and kisses for it. Vanessa was outraged.

It was an outrage to behold.

“Daddy.”

Not this again. This was no reason to bring out the big guns.

“Get your shoes,” Matt whined.

“Baby, you can go out. I’m not stopping you from going out. No one is stopping you from going out, god help us,” Jack told him.

Matt abandoned his neck, stretched out, quick as a whip, and snatched the phone on the other cushion. He crammed it into his shirt and then replaced himself and his face-broom against Jack’s pulse point.

Yeah.

Yeah, Jack didn’t know what he’d expected to happen here.

“Matt,” he warned.

“Dinner.”

“The last time we went to dinner, you broke my heart, soul, and trust.”

“I won’t do it again.”

“Uh-huh. Yeah, right. ”

“I won’t,” Matt promised, pulling back to add puppy eyes to the mix.

That was unfair. Uncalled for. Totally underhanded.

“Why don’t you go out with Foggy?” Jack tried as a last-ditch effort.

“Because I want to go out with you,” Matt emphasized. “My pops. My old man. We gotta bond. It’ll make me more well-adjusted. The internet says so.”

Jack was confiscating the internet. The internet was a know-it-all snitch.

“DAD.”

“Fine, for fuck’s sake, boy. Get off, you’re drowning me here.”

  Jack would go out to dinner on one condition.

Two conditions actually.

1)      There was to be no durian. Anywhere. At all.

2)      He got to bring moral support.

Matt was more than cool with that because it meant that he could replace the durian with another creative element which would equally torture Jack.

So Jack asked Ben Parker to come along. Parker was sharp as a tack. Compared to Jack, he was a man of the world. A reasonable and sensitive body with respect for his fellow humans. He promised to help Jack identify potential threats to his person flung his way by his uncaring and mischievous son.

Unfortunately, to that end, Matt insisted that they take Ben’s nephew, Peter, out with them too.

Jack knew from the start that this was Matt inserting his chaos element into what might otherwise be a perfectly tolerable and uneventful night out. But he also held out hope that Peter would be the sweet, kind-hearted boy he appeared to be.

It really was too much to ask for.

Peter latched his whole body onto Matt within seconds of their two parties meeting up and the two of them immediately set to whispering which bode poorly for everyone else involved.

“I believe we may have made a mistake,” Ben observed, rubbing thoughtfully at his chin.

  Matt wanted rice and Peter wanted something sour enough to leave ulcers in his mouth, so the two of them decided that Thai food would achieve both of these effects. Jack was suspicious. Ben told him that Thai food was very tasty and he had little reason to fear, except.

Except.

“Peter hates durian, it’s fine, he won’t be setting up any conspiracies around it,” Ben promised him.

Mm.

They’d see about that.

Foggy had said something similar when he and Matt had dragged Jack out for Filipino food.

  Jack was pretty sure that Peter just wanted a lime. He was 90% sure that all Peter’s cravings could be satisfied with a lime right now.

Matt, however, in an unlikely turn of events, convinced him that he should get food-substances to accompany his burning desire for limes. Peter grumbled at this and deferred to his uncle for support in the face of this logic.

Chaos element, located.

“Pick a carb,” Ben directed.

“Sugar is a carb,” Peter argued.

“Pick a carb in a less refined form,” Ben countered easily.

“If it’s raw sugar, it—”

“Veg, noodles, or rice,” Ben offered him.

Peter scowled.

“You said a carb,” he pouted. “I want sugar.”

“I have good news for you, sweet child of mine,” Ben said fondly. “There is sugar in everything served in the United States of America. You will have your sugar. Pick its structure: veg, noodles, or rice.”

Ben made Jack feel like a shit dad sometimes. Although, to be fair, Jack hadn’t been a dad as long as Ben had.

Peter, outwitted and bitter about it, agitated Matt to help him.

Matt saw no need for that.

“You’re gonna be hungry in an hour and then you’re gonna whine about it,” he declared.

Peter scowled at him and then turned his lethal puppy eyes onto Jack. Jack set up a menu between the two of them because he was not strong enough to cope with that.

Peter whined behind it.

  Things were going too smoothly for too long. Jack did not trust the decent behavior happening at this table. Ben got a kick out of his paranoia, which was great because someone needed to.

“What are you hiding?” Jack asked Matt. Matt scoffed.

“Chill, old man,” he said. “We’re literally just having dinner. Maybe try to have a good time, huh?”

No.

Something evil was afoot.

Peter snickered. Matt swatted at him; he easily dodged the hand.

Trouble.

  Dinner was eaten and paid for and Jack eventually gave up and settled down. Begrudgingly, he had to admit that Matt was right. Thai food was nice. No incidents had occurred. There was no durian. Ben and Peter made for good conversation, even if everything led back to Peter’s obsession with sci-fi films.

Ben told him that if he kept mentioning them, the aliens would hear him and his name would start to move up higher up on their list of potential captures.

The kid was horrified.

Matt helpfully started counting off the number of times Peter had mentioned aliens in the last week and Peter had briefly looked like he was going to cry.

“Is your wife not going to hear of this?” Jack asked Ben as they walked after the trouble duo who had determined that they were finding dessert at a different location. They seemed to know what they were after, so Jack and Ben left them to it.

“Oh, she will,” Ben said.

“And you don’t mind?”

“She encourages it. She’s convinced him that if you leave a tv on static, aliens can pick up on your watch history.”

Interesting parenting techniques going on here.

Ben laughed.

“Well, I guess we just figure that if you’ve got a weird kid, it’s easier on everyone if you just lean into it. My brother probably wouldn’t be so down with it, but he’s not here, so whatever.”

Ah, right.

“Peter’s your brother’s son, then,” Jack noted.

Ben hummed.

“I…guess,” he said uneasily. “I—it’s hard to explain. I mean, biologically, yeah he’s Rich’s son. But, you know, me and May’ve raised him for longer than Rich and Mary were ever in his life, so, I dunno. Is it fucked up that I kind of think of him as my son?”

No. Not at all.

“My eldest brother pretty much raised me,” Jack told him. “My mama couldn’t be assed to do anything more than scream at the drop of a hat and my daddy was busy drinking himself to death, so Bill was the one who got me up and dressed and off to school in the morning. I always thought of him as a mix between a brother and a mom.”

“No shit?” Ben said. “Where is he? He still around?”

Uuuuuuuh.

“We haven’t talked for a long time,” Jack said.

“Oh? Well, now’s your chance you know.”

Jack tried not to wince too sharply. Ben caught it anyways.

“Or not,” he said. “You don’t have to if its painful or something.”

Oh, buddy.

“We’ll see,” Jack decided. “I’ll need to think about it.”

He didn’t know how Matt would react. Hell, he didn’t know how he would react to seeing Bill again.

  Matt and Peter presented Jack with a drink that had evil hiding in the bottom of it.

He should have known better to think he’d escape that night uninjured.

–

I hope this cheers you up my dear and that things get easier for you soon!

[mytaggss]

9.9.16 (first)

4.15.17 (second)

1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers? me and amanda at cowabunga bay- me and katie out the car window

2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? no- no

3) What was your last text message? "yes it is"- yea but i still need to shower lol

4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years? I have a career, leaving near a beach, or near a very nature area, and i am married and have a family.- i see the same thing or something like it

5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be? i would be in hawaii or on a cruise.- same lol or with a friend

6) What was your coolest Halloween costume? my zombie costume sophmore year- same

7) What was your favorite 90s show? idk...- i don’t remember

8) Who was your last kiss? no one- Bruno

9) Have you ever been stood up? no- kind of yeah lol, but he said he fell asleep which to be honest that was probably fucking true, because he slept all the time, but he was too much of a pussy to go on a date with me lol

10) Favorite ice cream flavor? cookie dough

11) Have you been to Las Vegas? yes I live here

12) Your favorite pair of shoes? my nikes- either those or my adidas, or my nude heels or my tan flip flops

13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other? no, never had one- never really had one so

14) What is your favorite fruit? watermelon- same

15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible? no- no

16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships? no, long term- probably long term in like real real life, i just like people i get good vibes off of tbh so whatever happens

17) Do you smoke? If so, what? no- i have smoked weed before and i’d smoke it again if offered, but im not an avid weed smoker or anything

18) What do you do to get over your anger? i calm myself down- same or i write it down

19) Do you believe in God? idk anymore, sometimes- eh idk

20) Does the person you're in love with know it? no, well I'm not really in love with them lol. i just like them.- i’m not in love with anyone

21) Favorite position? of what?- missionary for now, its the best feeling, especially when i wrap my legs and arms around him

22) What's your horoscope sign? scorpio

23) Your fears? heights, bugs

24) How many pets do you have? What kind? three dogs- same

25) What never fails to turn you on? well i've never had a person turn me on lol. but i feel like making out would probably turn me on I'm guessing?- making out or feeling me up, or just talking kind of dirty lol (but not in a cringy way)

26) Your idea of a perfect first date? something where we are moving and doing something fun.- same

27) What is something most people don't know about you? i had adhd- something i don’t tell anyone, i don’t even write it out

28) What makes you feel the happiest? when I'm with friends or laughing or dancing

29) What store do you shop at most often? maybe tillys? american eagle? it depends... i shop at a lot of stores.- pac sun, lush, forever 21, victorias secret, urban outfitters

30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving? I would suck a dick. I don't know about receiving though, i mean maybe eventually... but like I would feel awkward at first for some reason, maybe a little like nervous idk.- i actually like giving, i was actually told the other day that it was like really good, like he barely believes that that was actually my second time lol. and i wont let him eat me out so lolol, idk i feel like it would be so weird, idk maybe i will let it happen eventually. 

31) Do you believe in karma? eh... i mean not really, but sometimes it just works out that way. so sometimes i do.- ehhhh in some ways 

32) Are you single? yes- yes

33) Do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize? flowers lol. flowers are so cute.- i love flowers

34) Are you a good swimmer? sure- yeah i think so

35) Coffee or Tea? probably tea, but i don't really drink either- tea

36) Online shopping or shopping in person? in person, but i sometimes shop online- in person

37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age? younger of course, why would i want to get older lol?? that means less time to live!- hmm thats a hard one now lol, probably the same age tbh

38) Cats or Dogs? dogs

39) Are you a competitive person? sometimes- same

40) Do you believe in aliens? yes (well of other intelligent life out there, not specifically like little green aliens or something like that haha)

41) Do you like dancing? yes

42) What kind of music to you listen to? all different kinds

43) What is your favorite cartoon character? spongebob

44) Where are you from? henderson/las vegas

45) Eat at home or eat out? both, but lately a lot of eating out cause I'm at college all the time- i like eating out tbh, but sometimes i just really want a familiar food at home haha

46) How much more social are you when you're drunk? i've never been drunk- oh god lol, i am actually a really social person in general, but when i get drunk i am like on level 100 with my socialness and my touchiness and my happiness its really weird. like i am so caring and like i want to talk to people and everything like that lol. 

47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself? lush products/food(but food doesn't really count does it?)- these bralettes from VS

48) Why do you think your followers follow you? none do?

49) How many hours do you sleep at night? like 7 to 8 sometimes 6.- same

50) What worries you most about the future? that nobody will love me or i won't find a career that i like.- same

51) If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends? probably not very long lol.- it depends lol, sometimes i’m nice and sometimes im mean to myself

52) Are you happy with yourself? eh, I'm working on it. i really really am.- same, but i have become more happy recently

53) What do you wish you didn't know? idk- nothing really

54) What big lesson could people learn from your life? That striving for perfection/or to look like someone else isn't important. Being the prettiest or the thinnest isn't important. What is important is to be happy and surround yourself with people you like and do things that you like to do. Seriously, just stop worrying what other people think of you, just be you and if that isn't good enough for someone then seriously fuck them. - same tbh

55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?i am not sure.- full house seems lit lol, and the nanny seems fun

56) What's your favorite Website? we heart it probably or youtube- or tumblr

57) What's the habit you're proudest of breaking? biting my nails, i went through a little phase.- i haven’t had any too bad of habits lately

58) What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles? wisconsin- probably wisconsin, i haven’t been many places lol

59) What's the best bargain you've ever found at a garage sale or thrift store? This lulu lemon crop top that was $14 dollars. keep in in mine that they are usually like $50 dollars and up.- yesss

60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food? orange chicken and fried rice or chowmein (usually steamed rice now)- yeahhh or NOODLESSS

61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? Nebraska maybe lol?- yeah lol 

62) If you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be? english/environmental science/well actually dance would be first.- or astronomy or psychology that would be cool

63) Favorite kind of chips? sun chips! or snap pea crisps.- same

64) Favorite kind of sandwich? turkey ham- or just turkey

65) Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus? dictionary

66) Have you ever been stung by a bee? no- no

67) What's your favorite form of exercise? dancing- or acrobatics/lyra/ pole

68) Are you afraid of heights? yes

69) What's the most memorable class you've ever taken? environmental science or brooklyn jai's classes- or my pole or lyra classes

70) What's your favorite breakfast? pancakes or waffles with my spreads. certain smoothies too.- ooh yes, pancakes are bomb

71) Do you like guacamole? sometimes- it depends

72) Have you ever been in a physical fight? no, well sort of yes actually. kind of with my cousin lol.- lol same

73) What/who are you thinking about right now? maybe getting some more food and how tired my eyes are.- going to haleys house, maybe getting some food cause im hungry

74) Do you like cuddling? i never had, but i seriously think i would like it.- yes its very nice, even though it sometimes gets hot lol

75) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? nah- nah

76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears? yes

77) Favorite city you've been to? Miami or los Angeles

78) Would you break the law to save a family member? probably yes

79) Talk about an embarrassing moment? lol i can't remember any off the top of my head. i try really hard to forget them so they don't come up unless i really really think. so i got nothing.- lol NOO

80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in? wild life preservation and environmental type things. As well as like animal sanctuaries- same

81) What's the worst injury you've ever had? pulled hamstring or straining my foot muscle or whatever.- same

82) Favorite day of the week? saturday

83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded? maybe a little, well sometimes. idk in my mind cause i've never had sex so.- hmm it depends what you mean, i am open to talking about it with other people and stuff like that but i don’t want to weird stuff, i am pretty normal when it comes to that

84) How do you feel about porn? not really a fan to be honest, its kind of gross. but I'm not against it, i just don't watch it.- ehh its okay, i don’t really watch it anymore because it freaks me out a little haha

85) Which living celebrity would you like to know? idk- lana del rey prob

86) Who was your hottest ex? don't have one- don’t have an ex

87) Do you want/have kids? yes i want them- yes

88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you? no- no

89) Do you get easily distracted? yes- yes sometimes

90) Ass or titties? ass lol

91) What is your favorite word? idk- fuck

92) How do you feel about tattoos? they are ok- i like themm

93) Do you have any pets? yes

94) How tall are you? 5'6" or 5'7"

95) How old are you? 18- 19

96) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot? nothing really lol. nobodies complimented me lately. like i don't get many compliments to be honest. usually on my clothes sometimes i do. i got one on my eyes recently even though hater how my eyes are (except the color, but thats not what they were complimenting) but yeah yikes lol. Sometimes i get compliments on my body when i wear certain things? i just don't remember compliments maybe? idk.. cause like barely any from my whole like come up. (but i know i've had some)- i get complimented on my eye color, my stomach, and my ass

97) Is there anything you're really passionate about? dance- being successful, having fun and having experiences, and my acrobatics and dance

98) Do you have trust issues? no- hmm i don’t think so

99) Do you believe in love at first sight? eh, i think there is like lust at first sight lol. but love is something that is gained lol.- nah

100) What are some words that you live by? Why? uhhh- if its meant to be, it will be