#like i love talking with people esp about stuff i'm passionate about (which is usually about the characters in whatever story i'm writing)
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#random vent post i'll prob delete later but i wanna scream in the tags to get this out of my system#i wish my anxiety wasn't so goddam crippling especially when it comes to my hobbies#hobbies are things i'm supposed to enjoy doing and help me relax but my stupid brain won't stfu no matter what i'm doing#like my current problem is my brain trying to tell me that I'm playing farming sims incorrectly or that i'm a fake writer#like i sunk back into my rune factory addiction and farming sims are supposed to be cozy/relaxation games right?#no I'm constantly stressing myself out that I'm not optimizing my crops correctly or progressing the story fast enough or something stupid#like I have an obsession to make every crop/flower level 10 and making sure I always have an obscene amount of corn#since i'm dumping like an unholy amount of nutrients into my soil so i need the corn to bring it's hp back up#i spend most of my time in game micromanaging my crops to make my fields look nice only to realize the shop closed and i cant buy more seed#then i gotta make sure i'm only taming the 'right' monsters and then all the boss monsters#and lets not forget about murakumo because i plan to have Ares ride that innkeeper but fucking Lucy and Priscilla keep overtaking him#because i have to talk to them every day to buy recipe bread and seeds#so i end up throwing grilled skipjack at murakumo every day to make sure my friendship level is always highest with him#because i tried confessing to him in game yesterday AND HE FUCKING FREINDZONED ME#took 10d8 physic damage from that because it was the day after the firefly festival and i thought we had a moment on the beach murakumo#you were blushing and everything when Ares said you looked impressive#but anyways enough about my farming sim rant because honestly that's just a smokeguard so that i'm not perceived#my real issue lately is that any time i open a word document my imposters syndrome starts beating my brain with a spiked bat#or if i start interacting with anything tigerghost related my chest feels like it's getting torn apart#like for some reason it's become a fucking uphill battle to read other people fics and I don't understand why#i think it's because i'm scared that they're way better than me or that if i read these fics it's going to subconsciously affect my own#and then i'll get called out for plagiarism or something cus that's what kinda happened when I was active in the pokespe fandom#i read someone else's fic and realized that they took several scenes from my fics word for word and just threw in an extra character#i called them out on it and it started all this drama that just tainted my experience with fandom in general#it honestly hurt me so badly i left tumblr and stopped writing for a very long time because it killed my creative drive#it took me literal years to finish my stardew fic because of this like it's supposed to be a hobby i do it for fun right?#but no my brain is fucking stupid and keeps telling me that i'm doing it wrong#there have been so many amazing and creative people in the nicktoons unite fandom and everyone i've talked with so far is really nice#especially izzy and aether like honestly you're both fucking saints for letting me ramble in your dm's all the time#like i love talking with people esp about stuff i'm passionate about (which is usually about the characters in whatever story i'm writing)
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SONIC SYMPHONY!!!
i went to the sonic symphony today!!!! IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!! I personally think they should've said somewhere that the merch stand didn't take cash bc i almost missed I Am All Of Me standing in line— I'LL TALK ABOUT THAT IN A SECOND— because if i had known i wouldn't be able to pay for anything i wouldn't have bothered getting in line but whatevs ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
i literally cried. the opening STH 1 medley made me almost SOB.
me and my friend were squawking about tails and how cute he is!!
during the colors portion the audience did the 'GOOD!' 'GREAT!' 'AWESOME!' 'OUTSTANDING!' 'AMAZING!' and it made me so happy :)
AND OF COURSE the 'here we go!!' for unleashed!!! so cool!!! then i almost cried again at the frontiers medley lol.
THEN. THE INTERMISSION. i was DETERMINED to get light sticks. i was in the MIDDLE of the line. when...
*i am all of me opening riff*
when i tell you i BOOKED IT. i ducked out of that line SO FAST. not to mention — we were sitting in the upper balcony :) — I HAD TO RUN UP SO MANY STAIRS. I WENT UP TOO MANY STAIRS. I WAS LOST. I HAD TO TURN AROUND. literally — my knees started to buckle and i FULLY almost collapsed in the middle of this center with nothing but my wallet and my shadow plushie i was holding on to for dear life.
BUT I POWERED THROUGH AND I MADE IT BACK TO MY SEAT BEFORE THE CHORUS!!!!
i screamed my LUNGS OUT :))
certain songs i didn't know [all of] the lyrics to, so id usually scream whenever shadow showed up or something cool happened lol
when they started knight of the wind i got SO HYPED!!! BC I LOVE THAT SONG IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES!!! so you know i BELTED MY HEART OUT!!
and then!!! REACH FOR THE STARS!!!!! sonic colors was one of the first sonic games i ever played (even though i never /really/ got to play it lol) so i was so excited!!!
AND THEN!!!!!!! THE KNUCKLES SONGS!!!
pumpkin hill!! and unknown from m.e!!! fun fact: back in like,,, 2021?? when i first dabbled in sonic stuff (aside from being into it as a kid) it was actually unknown from m.e. that got me into it!!! there was a meme or something and i was like 'omg this corny ass song actually rips' and so that's what got me started! so naturally i sang along to both (this show made me realize how much i actually love knuckles???? wild)
Ty Christian (the vocalist) said NC had a sick heavy metal scene—which as a baby metalhead that made me happy—so i was headbanging to hell and back during the frontiers songs!! i didn't know all the lyrics (esp to I'm Here since ive tried to avoid listening to it til when i beat frontiers) but it was sick as hell!!
then, they said I'm Here was the last song, so after, they left the stage. me and my friend were like, no way, no way they're not going to play live and learn that would be a crime!! i KNEW in the back of my mind they were gonna do an "encore" type, so i just kept cheering and shouting for live and learn—
THEN THEY CAME BACK OUT!!! AND THEY DID ESCAPE FROM THE CITY!!! ofc when it got to the "live and learn" line i screamed it lol.
THEN THEY PLAYED IT!!!! LIVE AND LEAAAARNNN!!!!! It was awesome. my voice kept breaking but it didn't matter. my feet were hurting and my arms were hurting and my back hurt and i ran out of water but it didn't matter. because i got to see awesome musicians passionately play music from the sonic games, in a room full of people that loved sonic just as much as i did, and it was so worth almost collapsing in the middle of the stairwell. because i got to be there with my friend. and with other people just like me. it was so nice to be able to unmask for three hours and be my full, autistic, sonic lovin, self. because i knew i was safe with sonic fans (bc i know all y'all autistic too /not mean).
anyway, apparently we were a sold out show??? so they did an acoustic One Way Dream cover—a song i actually didn't know that well, so i just got to listen to them, which was incredible :)
and then, it was over! i was light headed, sweaty, my feet hurt, i could hardly hear—or speak, but i was so, so happy.
then me and my friend got back in the merch line! and... they didn't take cash. and all i had was cash. so i didn't get my shirt lol i could tell the guy at the booth felt bad for me :') it was okay though! i can order it online if i want it bad enough lol.
and i got my light stick!!!!! my friend also had a friend there and he got us the sticks (which i am eternally grateful for—even though i wasn't able to actually use it during the show, hopefully they'll come back next year!!) so hell yeah for friendship!!!!
i cannot stress enough how nice it was to be with so many people like me, it was so refreshing to not have to pretend to be "normal"
anyway, i love sonic and i love my friends and im so happy i got to see this sick ass show!!
#sorry not sorry#for the long ass post#im just so happy i needed to yap about it#the second i got in my car i texted one of my friends a massive paragraph about it#im so happy#i didn't record anything so i wrote this post to remember this day forever#because it was so much fun#sonic symphony#sonic#sth#the worm speaks#the worm plays sonic#but not actually
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Ultimate Ship Meme: Azulaang
Rate the Ship -
Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs
How long will they last? - Until I say so. I can see them being together after death as spirits.
How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Ooooh boy. Azula struggles to understand friendship. I think she'd fall in love fast and hard but take the longest to realize. Aang wouldn't let himself get attached at first because Azula is unapologetic and one of the things I like about Azulaang is how it would push Aang to deals with the nitty gritty gray, not in a The Fire Nation was right all along way but in how even Kyoshi and Roku's conflict resolution let to disagreements. I think it would take Aang longer to fall in but once they reach a semblance of common ground he'd be well aware he's falling in love and would enjoy the ride.
How was their first kiss? - Let's see my fanfics. In Blue it was awkward. In Weightless it was sweet. In Smut it was horny and hate filled. In canon I think their first kiss would be very passionate and then they snap back to reality and Aang would evade while Azula denies so they wouldn't talk about it but they'd for sure be thinking about the kiss.
Wedding:
Who proposed? - Technically Azula. As soon as Aang hears about a Fire Nation wedding, either his friends or he learns about Ozai and Ursa's wedding, his mind would be set on a wedding. He wouldn't say anything but he'd squirrel away relevant wedding information like he'd hear a song and go "I want that instrument to play at my wedding." But Azula would have her life planned out by other people and there'd be a set date where Ozai now Zuko are supposed to comb through suitor requests (it was probably Ursa's role. If she's there she'd talk to Azula directly instead of Lo and Li. I don't think Lo and Li are high enough rank to determine the suitor but I think it would be customary/expected for their input to be asked). Azula would tell Aang something along the lines of "I should be wed." and he'd agree and then Azula will spend an abnormally long time wondering if he married her because he liked her or because it's his duty until she asks him while he's discussing potential baby room colors pre wedding.
Who is the best man/men? - Sokka and Toph. Azula was going to pick Momo but he made a better flower girl. Yes she did this to annoy Zuko (and because Toph didnt want to wear the bridesmaid outfit) it's okay though Fire Lord Zuko was the guest of honor.
Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Katara, Suki, Mai, Ty Lee. Mai pretends she hates the outfit but she's secretly pleased.
Who did the most planning? - Aang did the most thinking but Azula did the most planning.
Who stressed the most? - Externally Aang. Internally Azula.
How fancy was the ceremony? -
Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.
100% Azula's fault. Aang has no clue what Fire Nation weddings are supposed to be like.
Aang: Wow I can't believe all weddings in your Nation are this big.
Azula: They're not. It's because I'm Royalty and you're the Avatar.
Though I hc that Aang wants to get married in all the different Nations and Azula secretly wants to experience a small wedding so they get married 3 more times with one of them being a very small Air Nation wedding.
Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Hmmm I'm not sure. On one hand, Ozai redemption. On the other hand, Ozai death.
Sex:
Who is on top? - Aang. Azula thinks she wants to be on top but she'd rather be pampered and Aang is more comfortable communicating and attending to needs. Aang has no strong preference either way and they do switch but this is their usual dynamic.
Who is the one to instigate things? - Azula but she denies it.
How healthy is their sex life? -
Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now
I think it's up to the reader's preference but I can see them being very private (Azula) and naturally talented (Aang) to the point where they assume every couple has sex daily. Hc that Aang and Suki talk about sex freely (ex: When I do __ should I __ or do girls prefer ___? I can never tell with Azula. Why do guys do ___ after ____ ? I've tried asking Sokka but he doesn't give me a straight answer.) Much to the fear of Sokka and Azula.
How kinky are they? -
Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head
Again up to the reader. They both like learning new things and are prodigies so I think they'd end up reading about things to try in bed (Azula) and would try things out to see what they like (Aang) until they learn what they and each other generally like/dislike.
How long do they normally last? -
Does the Avatar State remove your refractory period? >;3c
Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - No. Aang likes overstimulating.
How rough are they in bed? -
Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.
Neither can dirty talk. Azula is rougher. Aang likes to take it slow. She sets the pace in the beginning but he decides when it ends.
How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -
No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.
Azula refuses to cuddle in public but in return they cuddle all night.
Children:
How many children will they have naturally? - hc them having twin boys at first with one firebender and one airbender because poetry. But Azula really wants a girl so they have a third child she is an airbender with Aang's charm and knack for getting in trouble and Azula's ruthlessness. Amon kidnaps her and instead of easily escaping (Aang's genes) she instead viciously mocks him the way only a preteen can (Azula's genes.) It's traumatic enough for Amon even before the parents show up. Then Aang wants another one and Azula wants another firebender so they do the do and surprise triplets! (maybe it has to do with ejaculatimg in the Avatar State lol) So 6 in total and lets say its 3 boys 3 girls with 3 airbenders 3 firebenders.
How many children will they adopt? - None. Azula is wary of motherhood and I know people like to hc Aang as adopting and while I can see him acting as a father figure to several kids I think he'd greatly prefer biological kids especially airbenders. It's a flaw that was barely touched upon and def not handled well in Legend of Korra.
Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Servants or Aang. After a kid or two Azula would be comfortable enough to change the diapers but it would still be mostly Aang.
Who is the stricter parent? - Depends on the kid. Aang is more lenient with airbenders and Azula with firebenders or girls. I can see Azula being strict with training & studies but not with sharing whereas Aang would have less rules but they'd be more heavily enforced (ex: no airgliding without supervision until you've mastered the safety course)
Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Azula. She's pretty lenient with the term dangerous esp. when it comes to firebending as long as basic safety measures are applied (ex: you can pracrice lightning as long as it's not pointed towards yourself aka dont be Zuzu) but Aang is of the mindset "How are you gonna learn airbending without dangerous stunts?" And after the first few incidents she started stepping in.
Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Azula but Aang cooks them.
Who is the more loved parent? - Appa
Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Azula. When Aang attends the teachers shower him and his kids with compliments ("You're doing so well teaching your kids the values of the Air Nomads. It must be so hard being The Last Airbender"). They do the same with Azula but unlike Aang she sees through it and manages to get an accurate assessment of how their kids are doing.
Who cried the most at graduation? - Aang was more happy than sad. Azula cried before and after.
Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Aang. He is a notorious lawbreaker. Azula would bail the kids and she could do so quicker than Aang in a few cases because of her connections but she'd be mad so their kids would rather call Aang or break themselves out.
Cooking:
Who does the most cooking? - Tied. Aang at first but then Azula wants to learn and after Aang teaches her since she has less experience she finds more enjoyment in cooking.
Who is the most picky in their food choice? -
Technically Aang since he's a vegetarian. Azula hasn't tried as many foods and she's used to not making a fuss at the family dinner table to the point of which Aang notices.
Who does the grocery shopping? - Both. Aang has a better eye for vegetables/fruits and Azula is better with prices (it's not about the cost it's about the value).
How often do they bake desserts? - Aang bakes them when he can/weekly. They're fruit based so if Azula doesn't want dessert he gives it to Momo or flings it at a target.
Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Gee I wonder. Aang eats salad Azula eats meat.
Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Aang but Azula tends to figures it out. Azula is more likely to plan a dinner but she wouldn't make it a surprise.
Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Aang but Azula is a close second. It would be a tie if it wasn't for the bathhouse.
Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Accidentally? Aang. On purpose? Azula.
Who cleans the room? - Servants or Aang.
Chores:
Who is really against chores? - Azula hates cleaning up but she's neater.
Who cleans up after the pets? - Aang.
Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Aang.
Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Azula.
Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Aang.
Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Azula. In the Fire Nation Palace Aang has taken to chatting with Azula in the Royal Spa while he feeds her (and mostly himself) cherries.
Misc:
Who takes the dog Appa out for a walk? - Aang
How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Never. Once they like the room they like the room. If its an event they'll go to a different location for it or leave the Air Temple as is.
What are their goals for the relationship? -
To stay together.
Who is most likely to sleep till noon? -
Aang slept for a hundred years so I'll give it to him.
Who plays the most pranks? - Tie. They've both pulled elaborate pranks as kids.
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If I'm doing all the asks then so are you.
>.> fineeee
1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?
Play video games, I’m not gonna lie about that.
2. What’s your favourite piece of clothing you own/owned?
I have a black dress I bought for myself a couple years ago that makes me look like a badass Bond villain. And I look sexy as all hell in it.
3. What hobby would you get into if time and money weren’t an issue?
I want to make custom dolls idk
4. What would your perfect room look like?
PINK i’m a fucking girly girl
5. How often do you play sports?
Never...I am not into sports. Watching others though is fun
6. What fictional place would you most like to go?
Diagon Alley
7. What job would you be terrible at?
Anything involving math. So I would make an awful accountant.
8. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance at winning medal for?
Being sick apparently...nah I’m pretty good at graphic design I think
9. When was the last time you climbed a tree?
I am afraid of heights so never
10. What is the most annoying habit other people have?
loud chewing, I will want to murder you I Promise
11. What job do you think you’d be good at?
Anything with animals, I have a passion for them
12. What skill would you like to master?
A different language. Being bi-lingual would be cool. I hate English.
13. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?
Oh fuck I want to travel. Even to places considered “dangerous”. I want to go everywhere, I have A NEED. I’m a sucker for those exploration videos on youtube.
14. If you had unlimited funds to build a house that you would live in for the rest of your life, what would the finished house look like?
Firstly it would be a beach house because I love water and beaches. Secondly, it’d have at least four bedrooms, maybe six. And a full sized basement. I want it to look Magical As Fuck. For reasons. There will be an aquarium in it.
15. What’s your favourite drink?
Coke. The drink.
16. What state or country do you never want to go back to?
I miss Michigan a lot. I loved it there.
17. What songs have you completely memorized?
A lot?? too vague
18. What game or movie universe would you most like to live in?
STARDEW VALLEY. Sustainable farming is sexy.
19. What do you consider to be your best friend?
@sedris-the-meme-king
20. Are you usually early or late?
Early. Like twenty minutes early. Anxiety fuels me.
21. What pets did you have while you were growing up?
A lot of cats, a few dogs, hamsters, and a couple bunnies. I love animals.
22. When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with?
Relationship advice
23. What takes up too much of your time?
Depression
24. What do you wish you knew more about?
Space law. Which is weird. The concept of space really scares me but it’s also a little fascinating.
25. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?
“is my cat ok?”
26. What are some small things that make your day better?
Getting random texts from ppl.
27. Who’s your go to band or artist when you cannot decide on something to listen to?
Rihanna or Halsey
28. What’s the best way to start the day?
By sleeping in a little longer
29. What shows are you into?
Anything that’s paranormal, pretty much anything on TLC, Gordon Ramsey is Good
30. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished?
@floating-in-the-dark for being a good bean
31. What age do you wish you could permanently be?
18. That was a fun age dude.
32. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?
13 Reasons Why, Game of Thrones, I’m petty
33. What would be your ideal way to spent the weekend?
Video games, ice cream, kissing, things of that nature, maybe going to the movies, exploring a haunted abandoned hospital, casual things you know
34. What is something that is considered a luxury, but you don’t think you could live without?
My phone
35. What’s your claim to fame?
Idk what this means???
36. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way?
Dating. I’m sort of a cliche geek ok.
37. What’s your favourite genre of book or movie?
Horror for movie and fantasy for books
38. What have you only recently formed an opinion about?
God phoning. Non-pagans won’t get this.
39. What’s the best single day on the calendar?
The first of every month because it feels sorta refreshing
40. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of?
Sexual education
that’s a joke but I am also serious
41. How do you relax after a hard day of work?
I watch youtube videos and play some games, or RP
42. What was the best book or series that you’ve ever read?
The Maze Runner. Sorta corny but it was enjoyable.
43. What’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?
California. 10/10 would go back.
44. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen?
“I would blink” out of context this makes no sense but it meant a lot to me in context
45. What is the most annoying question people ask you?
“Are you SURE you’re __ age?” I am small, I sound 12, but yes I promise I AM TWENTY
46. What could you give a 30-minute presentation on with absolutely no preparation?
Harry Potter at any given moment. Esp Draco Malfoy.
47. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?
Tbh??? Move away to a completely new place that you have no connections in. That sounds crazy stupid but really, it was the best choice I ever made.
48. Would you rather go hang gliding or whitewater rafting?
Whitewater rafting
49. What’s your dream car?
1967 Thunderbird bitches
50. What’s worth spending more on to get the best?
Make-up, and bath stuff
51. What is something that a ton of people are obsessed with but you just don’t get the point of?
Game of Thrones lmao
52. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years?
School. I can’t wait to start college in the fall.
53. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been?
UP Michigan
54. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to it?
There are lot of ways to answer this.
I want to try a ghost pepper lmao
55. What’s the best thing that happened to you last week?
I started talking to someone really sweet
56. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience for the first time again?
Undertale tbh
57. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have?
I’d work at a graveyard no joke
58. What amazing thing did you do that no one was around to see?
Absolutely nothing my dudes
59. How different was your life one year ago?
Extremely different and I sorta miss it
60. What quirks do you have?
I wiggle my mouth from side to side when I am in thought, I tend to rub my nose randomly, I walk on the balls of my feet
61. What would you rate 10/10?
@funkypanda
62. What fad or trend do you hope comes back?
I!! Want!! 90s!! Fashion!! Back!!
63. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen?
anything @floating-in-the-dark has done
64. What kind of art do you enjoy most?
See above answer
65. What do you hope never changes?
Most of my friendships
66. What city would you most like to live in?
Londonnnnn
67. What movie title best describes your life?
The Boss Baby
68. What did you decide to do the work you are doing now?
Huh????
69. What’s the best way a person can spend their time?
Being kind to others
70. If you suddenly became a master at woodworking, what would you make?
Some really weird shit dude
71. Where is the most relaxing place you’ve ever been?
UP Michigan lol
72. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you?
Meeting my best friend
73. Where would you rather be from?
Canada
74. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn?
My temper, some bad habits that were formed from anxiety
75. What are you looking forward to in the coming months?
School, getting a puppy, summer
76. What website do you usually go on when you have time off?
Tumblrr
77. Where would you spend all your time if you could?
Japannnnn or South Korea
78. What is special about the place you grew up?
Everyone was a community. We all supported each other.
79. What age do you want to live to?
100+ cause I fear death a lot
80. What are you most likely to become famous for?
The Biggest Baby Award
81. What are you absolutely determined to do?
Finish school and become a zoologist cause that’s the dream
82. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?
I can code and shit????? idk
83. What do you wish you knew more about?
Space law
84. What question would you most like to know the answer to?
“will I ever be successful at anything”
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