#like i imagine there’s a job where i don’t work ten hour shifts with one 15 and lunch and am expected to only spend 10 minutes per day
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i was talking to my mom about my job sucking and she kept pushing like well every job sucks. and kept pushing like girl if it all sucks the same why are you leaving urs
#personal#it’s just annoying cause like what are you arguing against. you actively want me to get a different job#also just let me complain. i’m aware every job sucks don’t remind me i will kill myself over that thought. but like extremely aware#but some have to suck less#like i imagine there’s a job where i don’t work ten hour shifts with one 15 and lunch and am expected to only spend 10 minutes per day#to piss#and i want a mom that can comfort me beyond kicking me out when i call out#i’m scared about how much i hate working and how awful it feels#i’m terrified about how i’m supposed to live the rest of my life#my room has been messy for over 9 months#i go home and just stare at my phone or nothing and suddenly it’s 2 am and i have work so soon#and my days off i spend catching up on sleep and wasting them#i’m just so tired and scared and scared of how apathetic everything but fear and sadness feels#and it’s just like this forever and i don’t have a mom that will hug me or try to make me feel better just#if you want to die you should kill urself and everything sucks everywhere it doesn’t get better#LIE to me im#off the fucking deep end
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where we meet. (e.w.)
when ur a monsterfucker n its kinktober lol am i right guys
*silence*
…..
thank u 4 the pointers baby :3 ilysm @elliesbelle
wc;cw: 17.8k, baker!oc, demon!ellie, HEAVY ANGST [mentions underage drinking + alcoholism + drunk driving + car accidents + death], oc’s an eldest daughter… yeah, HORROR? [gore + animal death/mutilation? + vomit + idk scary shit like blood n stuff], SMUT!!!!![HEAVY DUBCON + sexual tension + ellie shape shifts LOL + her tongue is barbed and forked and long like a fruit rollup + blood drinking + fucking outside HAHA + splash of sadism + edging + tentacles WOOO THIS BITCH IS SHAKING THE TABLE!!! + pain kink + spit but venomous + lots of cum/squirting + anal/d!p + err restraint? + oral + crazy size kink + dirty talk + masturbation? + dumbification/mind break + dacryphilia + burning/marking
“Alright, my love! A dozen red velvet cupcakes, four slices of carrot cake, and ten brownies!”
You handed two large brown bags filled with desserts over to your favorite regular, Roxanna, “I threw in two complementary cannolis, don’t tell Hattie, please!” You whispered.
The older woman laughed, turning to depart with the sweet treats, “She ain’t getting a word outta me. Thank you, baby. See you soon.”
“Have an amazing birthday! Try not to get too rowdy on that yacht, now!”
“Girl, I’m grown! If one of my guests show up without a bottle, they ain’t gettin’ on, point blank!” You both giggled.
She blew you a kiss and scurried off, the small bell above the door ringing at her exit. You sighed and scurried to the back and into the kitchen, untying your apron and hanging it on the coat rack.
“Now, Miss Hattie— “
“I know you ain’t tryna disrupt my craft right now. You know better!” The elderly woman had her gray hairs pinned back under her hair net, practically squatting near the counter as she perfected the icing job on the three-layered wedding cake, shrouded in gold and sparkly silver. Your heart grew fonder at the slight tremble in her hands as she piped sprouts of buttercream around the cake topper.
Hattie, despite her stubbornness, was reason your… fresh start went so smoothly. Meeting her was a blessing in disguise; It was raining when you stumbled upon the old bakery she worked at years ago. You’d just moved as far as you could from your hometown, in desperate need of a job. She turned down your desperate pleads time and time again, that is until you showed up to the shop one last time, drenched in rain, with your homemade red velvet cake.
She’d nearly cracked you with a broom herself when she saw you standing by the service stand, but you pleaded one last time, and left the foil wrapped dish on the register counter without another word. You’d piqued her interest. Just a smidge.
You’d received a call from a random number — the owner of the shop— days later, offering you a position at the local bakery.
As a dishwasher.
Your victory didn’t last long, however. Turns out your boss was a thieving bastard, cutting all the employee's earnings by a third months after you were hired. You were shocked no one shoved a piping bag up his ass.
Weeks later, you were out of a job. And so was Hattie.
… Did she reluctantly ask you for tips on how you made your cake that moist as you two waited for the bus, hairnets still on? Absolutely. And you shared them on the ride back to her small home.
She swiftly became your support, your right-hand man, your newfound comfort only after a few months. You silently thank the universe for her everyday; You couldn’t imagine opening your spot without her with you, making sure to double — triple whatever shit pay her previous boss gave her.
“C’mon, Roxie just picked up. We needa head out now,” Closing was always a hassle whenever Hattie was in the zone. The extra five minutes she often requested easily turned into an hour if not regulated; Bless her heart.
She sighed and stretched, “Alright,” Reluctance in her tone. “You’re lucky my grandkids are coming to see me tomorrow!” She set her piping bag down and allowed you to stroll the wedding cake into the walk-in fridge.
Hattie hardly ever asked for time off; You practically have to shove her out your bakery doors every Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, New Years! The only request — demand she’s ever made was no work on Halloween. She gave you explicit instructions when you hired her years ago: don’t call my phone during the day of evil!
Her request threw you for a whirl at first. You assumed she was joking because what seventy-year-old woman still cares about Halloween and its lore? When she hadn’t laughed with you, however, you apologized and offered her three days off for the end of October. Everyone deserves to be with their family, regardless of time of year.
You wished you had someone to call during the cozy Fall.
You threw yourself into work the second you got the chance. Opening your bakery a year ago was something you’d been working towards since you made your first batch of cupcakes at ten years old. You and your mother baked until your arms burned from kneading years after that, and the hobby swiftly became your down time. Your shop was small and crowded, but your name was printed on the door.
You never thought you’d be able to own anything after the last decade of being locked up, after the accident you’d caused.
That horrid day and its repercussions continues to loom over you like a dark cloud no matter where you go, filling your life with trails of dread that refuse to be washed away. You lost your family, some friends, a potential partner, and it was all because of one mindless decision during your reckless and dark teenage years.
To put it bluntly, you never recovered. Everyday is a struggle, but you’ve managed to distract yourself with work. Your newfound friends hate that they never see you, but you beg them to accept that you're busy whenever you receive an invitation to dinner.
Sadly, your accomplishments are not companions, and your heart is forever vacant. Nothing — or no one — will change that.
No matter how many times you’ve tried to reach out to your loved ones, your calls go unanswered. You came to terms with the fact that they’ll always see you as the force that destroyed their unity — the disappointment, ages ago, but your heart still longs for their affection.
You wake up and hope for their forgiveness everyday.
“You comin’?”
Miss Hattie’s voice pulled you from your thoughts as you silently walked her to the door, her work bag in hand and ready to go.
“No, ma’am. Still gotta check the inventory.”
She sucked her teeth, “I coulda still been decorating— “
“Enough of that! Get on home!” You waved her off with a smile.
“Uh huh,” She rolled her eyes and left with a nod, “See you next week!”
You waved goodbye, shutting the door fully and flipping the open sign to close.
You stretched your arms above your head, your achy shoulders and neck popping with stiffness. All you wanted was a fucking massage.
You made your way back to the kitchen, clipboard in hand, marking off products that desperately needed refilling. What kind of bakery runs out of sugar? Sugar!
The bus ride home was nauseating; You need your own car desperately.
You politely greeted your neighbors as they left the elevator before heading to your floor. The late afternoon sun was blooming through the hallway windows of your building. You unlocked your door, the waft of cool air from the open window in your living room brushing your skin.
You tossed your bag off your shoulders, and it thudded to the floor, the overworked bones in your arms cracking when you stretched them up at the ceiling.
The small ball of fur rubbing against your leg rejuvenated you in seconds.
Your cat meowed happily when you bent down to plant kisses on her head. She followed you into the kitchen as you heated the kettle on the stove, hopping onto the counter to watch you work.
“You know better. Get down,” your eyes squinted.
She only tilted her head at you before sitting on the granite completely. You were too tired to move her.
Whistles erupted from the small hole in the pot minutes later. You filled your mug to the brim with the soothing herbal tea your friends gave you before heading into your bedroom.
You closed your blinds and undressed completely, plopping onto your blankets, taking sips from your mug as exhaustion and warmth flooded your body.
The last thing you remember was your cat walking all over your back.
THUD, THUD THUD THUDTHUD—
Your body shook awake at the pounding coming from the entrance of your home. Anxiety surged in your gut when the loud knocks against wood came to a sudden halt, only to start up again, even more frantic and aggressive.
THUDTHUDTHUDTHUD—
You kicked your blankets off and sat up, your sweaty form clinging to the sheets as you searched around your room. Everything was where it was supposed to be, but your door was wide open. You never leave your door open. Did you shut your door when you came home from…
Where were you before this?
You called for your cat once, twice, three times, but she never came. Your apartment was always quiet, but this silence… It was weighted, a heavy press on your chest.
You don’t remember how you got into your living room, but your toes were digging into the soft fluff of your rugs, attempting to sketch into the floor. Even the slightest movement felt like a fight against sludge. Like trekking through the rain in drenched clothes. The knocks didn’t cease, and was synced with the pounding in your ears.
The walls were breathing. Why couldn’t you breathe? You swore you were going to throw up.
The painted plaster moved in waves, your door plunging in and out of its frame, back and forth like a pendulum, but you couldn’t see behind it; Your toenails scratched harder into the floor. You couldn’t stop staring at the door. Every nerve in your brain was urging you to run, find a place to hide, but your body wouldn’t allow it. You simply stood, trapped in a cloud of distress.
The banging stopped and you inhaled, air finally filling your lungs. The feel of fabric beneath your toes was no longer there: something softer than hardwood. Something squishy, something sticky and wet with hair. Your nails tore into it, oddly comforted by the sensation.
All was quiet again, the familiar steadiness of your home calming your racing heart.
Until a weak, wheezing exhale came from beneath you; You nearly missed it. Your heart rate skyrocketed when you peered at your feet.
Your cat’s neck and stomach were sliced open, her small organs pouring out of the large slit in her body. Maggots and spiders were crawling all over her, your feet completely drenched in her blood and your nails plunged deep into her decomposing skin. The insects devouring your nearly dead pet rushed up your legs at an alarming rate, tearing into your thighs like desperate rats fiending for a meal.
You woke up screaming.
“Girl…”
“I don’t know why that happened! I’ve never had a dream like that before!” All the lights were on in your home, your kitty purring in your lap as you stroked her comfortingly. “I know it’s late but can you come over? I’m honestly… freaked out right now.”
Your good friend, Celeste, exhaled over the line, “… Yeah,” she resigned. “Gimmie ten minutes. I love you. Just… try to relax.”
You breathed when she told you to, your head bobbing like she could see you, “Okay. I love you too.”
You almost didn’t want to hang up, but you’d already bothered your friend enough tonight. It’s been a while since you two hung out together; You hope she’s up for a sleepover!
Your kitty nuzzled your chin affectionately. You hoped she knew you would never hurt her.
“I’ve never been so horrified in my life!” You spoke around the sugary spoon in your mouth. “Dreams have never… felt like that for me. I swear, it doesn’t matter how deep my sleep paralysis is! I felt like I was really,” you quickly peered around the room for your kitty, praying she couldn’t hear you. “Stepping on her body! My poor angel.”
Celeste shoveled more ice cream into her mouth, “Girl, that’s fucking crazy,” she assured, nodding towards your sleeping baby on the table. “Just remember that nothing actually happened. You love her and she loves you.”
She continued after a heavy sigh. “But you know me. Dreams, nightmares, they’re all from something, and if it felt as real as you say…” Her brow arched at you. What the fuck is she talking about?
Her eyes rolled in exasperation, “Isn’t your coworker, like… mad superstitious? Queen, but still. The devil’s working, girl.”
You took a deep breath like she instructed a billion times over since she’s arrived. A smirk grew on her face.
“Plus… it’s that time of year. ,” she stuck her tongue out and playfully grabbed her tits, “We gettin’ slutty. Gotta show out for Scorpio season. I made my own costume.”
Your nerves calmed at the reminder of your friends' packed weekend. Since your only true time off was during the spooky season, they always encouraged you to join them in their reckless behavior, especially during your time off. You resigned from partying a long time ago, but did indulge in the lively atmosphere from time to time during the holiday season.
“You’re right,” you sighed and placed your hands over the resting ones on her chest.
“Thank you! Take that damn chef hat off!” she scolded. “No more business talk until— “
“Next week, I know,” you mocked, “And I don’t wear chef hats, thanks.”
“Don’t give a shit about any of that. I’m getting pipe tomorrow night,” Celeste fell back on the sofa, giddily kicking her feet in the air.
A hearty chuckle escaped you. Maybe you’d meet someone too.
You were finally able to get some rest— thank god for Celeste — and start organizing your costumes for the… large sum of parties they planned to drag you to.
You still haven’t completely recovered from your nightmare two nights ago. The vivid imagery that your subconscious conjured up still gives you the ick, but for the sake of your friends, you chose not to bring it up again. You silently thanked the universe when you managed to get a full nine hours the night before.
Your friends managed to pull you into the Halloween spirit and take you to… Spirit. Despite the void stares from your friends at your costume choices, you settled on the Zelda outfit that’d been on sale at Party City for the past two weeks. Celeste couldn’t stop herself from… cutting your costume up and making it as revealing as possible. She opted to cut off the sleeves, sew the pants into a skirt that hugged your body way too tightly, and did your makeup how she wanted. You didn’t stand a chance against her.
You despised how hot clubs get; You probably looked like you were melting.
You stayed as far away from the bar as you could, watching your friends down shot after shot as the night progressed. Your surroundings were crowded and stuffy, the bass of the DJ booth rattling from your feet all the way up to your chest. Your moves were sloppy and disoriented, but Celeste was behind you, grabbing your hips and supporting your weight.
Your thoughts were hazy and incoherent as your arms waved around to the beat. The music blasting in your ears turned into white noise; The environment completely entranced you, your eyes shutting at the weightlessness of your clammy body.
The hands behind you were suddenly grabbing tighter, yanking you closer, as you continued to dance.
You pushed back onto them and their arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you back, yanking you close, your clammy flesh practically melding with theirs. Their scent engulfed you, rich and deep yet distinct. Your arm wrapped around the back of their neck, pulling them down while their hands explored your hips.
Their lips were on your neck, your head resting on their shoulder. Something hot was stirring in the pit of your stomach the more they swayed you, the arch in your back deepening; You haven’t felt wanted in so long.
You tried to spin to face them, but they held you still, pressing their chest into your backside. Your breaths picked up when they bit the most sensitive spot on your neck, your toes curling in your heeled boots, your manicured nails nearly chipping in your stockings.
Their mouth moved higher and higher, right under your ear, the hand coming up to wrap around your throat to hold you still. Your core squeezed as the grip on your neck tightened… and tightened… your airways were closing, and swiftly, the feeling was no longer pleasant. Your eyes snapped open when they didn’t let up, a shocked gasp escaping your dry mouth. The moment was no longer sensual, but straining and forceful. Almost angry.
Your lust turned to panic instantly, your eyes bulging as your nails dug into their hands, their taut thighs, their wrist, but they didn’t budge. You thrashed and shook with terror. You gasped for air and tried to push them off but it was all for naught.
Nobody came to help you. Suddenly all the faceless bodies around you were gone, heaps of black smoke pooling at your feet as you wailed for Celeste. The hands and lips were replaced with razor sharp claws and fangs as cold as ice against the side of your face, murmuring voices and screaming chants roaring in your ears. The former body grew monstrous, tripling in size and darkening.
The sensation of decaying, bloody skin was at your feet once more, fiery red ants and black widows nipping at your skin as the smoke flooded up your body, swallowing your calves, thighs, waist.
Weak shouts and begs for release went unheard by the force behind you. A faint whisper of your name made you sob harder; You’re going to die, you’re going to die, you’re going to die—
The whisper called your name again. And again. And again, much louder and urgent. Desperate for a response but all you could do was holler for your mother.
One last shout of your name made you drop to the floor, all the sensations surrounding your body gone. Your crown clanked onto the vibrating hardwood as drunk clubgoers gawked at you in confusion and annoyance, Celeste and your friends staring in concern, reaching to help you up.
But you couldn’t be touched. Any brush on your skin surged your heart to your throat. You needed to get the fuck out of here.
Your friends kept yelling about what happened, how they could help, but you couldn’t speak. You swore you were going to vomit.
You pushed yourself off the hardwood and through the crowd, away from your friends, away from everyone. Your smudged makeup stained your wrists, the shouts of your name going unheard as you shoved passed security and ran into the night.
You didn’t sleep at all that night.
You immediately left the club, hauled a taxi, and ran up into your apartment, double — triple checking to make sure all your doors were locked and windows were closed. You tore your costume off your body and threw it into your garbage before hopping into the shower. You desperately wanted to wash your hair, but you refused to close your eyes. The darkness when you blinked was haunting enough.
To put it lightly, you were fucking horrified.
Your body trembled under the steaming water, soft sobs escaping while you scrubbed your skin raw. Especially your shoulder.
Your phone rang off the hook until the sun rose, your kitty refusing to leave your lap. She never failed to comfort you in your times of need, but you barely rubbed her all night. All you could do is cry and think.
Your friends pounded on your door multiple times, but you refused to move from your bed. Their frantic knocking was very reminiscent of the pounding in your nightmare. You couldn’t shake how real everything felt: the comfort, the desire, the destress, the pure, unfiltered terror at the imagery of you being eaten alive by darkness. If you could even call it that: imagery.
Imagery is not enough to describe what you experienced. You were attacked in public, and no one bothered to help you. Nobody… saw anything.
You’re not fucking crazy.
Your friends were sweet enough to stop by the same afternoon with candles and lavender-scented bath bombs after your public breakdown. Their efforts at lifting your spirits didn’t go unnoticed, but your thoughts kept racing, every time you shut your eyes, even for a few seconds. How the hell were you going to explain what you saw that night?
Despite your friends’ skepticism, you were eventually able to convince them that you felt severely claustrophobic and the lack of air sent you spiraling.
… It wasn’t a complete lie, at least.
You were able to get some minuscule hours of sleep after they left before it was time to prepare for your shift. Dark circles were imprinted under your eyes, your skin was dry, and your uniform was not ironed, but you were up and moving. Small victories.
Your hand was practically glued to your forehead in extreme fatigue, your eyes burning at the brightness of your computer screen as you checked the time. Your emails always boomed during this time of year as people prepared for the holiday season; A good night's sleep seemed even farther away now.
You swiftly replied to each request with your availability before grabbing your bag and keys, kissing your kitty goodbye, and running down to the bus stop.
You greeted every familiar face with a polite smile before entering the already packed vehicle, the beginnings of a rising sun beaming through the scratched windows. You plopped onto the only available seat — farthest away from your neighbors — with a heavy exhale, your head falling against its rest.
This week is going to be so gruesome for orders; You prayed Ms. Hattie was prepared for it.
Returning to work was just as draining as you’d assumed.
Your business line has been ringing off the hook all morning, people asking for dozens of gingerbread cookies and wedding cakes layered to the ceiling. You could make a nest for yourself right on the clean tiles of the kitchen and nap.
You’ll never know how Ms. Hattie did it: wakes up at five in the morning and moves through decorating like a walk in the park. You can barely lift your arms and it’s only hour three.
You whipped egg whites and sugar like your life depended on it — it did — with your landline tucked between your shoulder and ear, reciting pick-up addresses and numbers in voicemails. You’re so fucking tired.
Hattie wasn’t, though. Just quiet. A bit too quiet.
She hasn’t said much since you’ve arrived. She got to the shop much earlier than expected, politely saying good morning when she caught you standing by the kitchen entrance. She hasn’t acknowledged you since. You tried to get some laughs out of her, but she only half-smiled before silently returning to her work.
You two continued to carefully wrap and deliver dessert-filled boxes like a well fueled machine up until the last minutes before closing. You stretched before grabbing the broom to sweep the entire shop, making your way into the kitchen where Hattie was staring off into nothing.
“Hey, girl. I can close up, so,” you murmured, wiping the sweat off your brow.
She seemed to be pulled out of her trance, “Oh, sorry hun,” Her head bobbed. “Are you sure you’re good on your own?”
“Yes, ma’am,” You paused. “Umm, are you doin’ okay? You seemed… I dunno, quiet, I guess.”
Hattie nodded, and you took it as an invitation to speak. “Somethin’ you wanna talk about? You didn’t even tell me how your weekend went. How’re the kiddos?” You asked gently, propping your broom against the wall.
A heavy exhale left her.
“I… Something was…” she stuttered.
Another deep inhale. Another lengthy exhale.
“Something felt different, no?” She whispered.
Your brows pulled down in confusion. “What d’you mean?”
“This… this weekend. Wasn’t it different?”
“Umm…” you pondered. “Not really, no. Why, what’s goin’ on?”
More silence before she huffed, “… Nothin’. You know how I get this time of year. Sorry, dear.” She turned and snatched her work bag off the counter before departing with a skittish nod, “See ya tomorrow.”
“W-Wait—“ You tried to stop her, but the kitchen door was already slamming shut, the small ding alarming Hattie’s departure from your shop.
You allowed your tense shoulders to drop, snagging the broom and heading towards the front of your shop for cleanup.
That was odd.
The front door of your apartment shut and you fell back against it in exhaustion. You desperately needed a massage.
You stretched before pushing yourself off the door and wobbling over to your cat’s area, refilling her bowl and cleaning her litter box. You clicked your tongue to lure her over to eat.
You called her name out when she didn’t come. You snagged her filled bowl and shook it, alerting your baby to come and eat. She still didn’t come. You huffed and made your way into your room; She probably took over your softest pillow again.
The bowl in your hand clattered to the floor and your screams nearly shattered your windows. Bile rose in your throat and you heaved at the scene in front of you.
Your beloved pet was dead. Completely mauled, her blood and organs pouring out of the giant slit that went from her throat to her stomach. Sobs wracked through you at the savage attack. The one source of comfort that you looked forward to seeing every morning and night was gone, snatched away from you in the blink of an eye. You've tried to alleviate your anxiety by suggesting that your nightmares are merely that. Dreams. Creations by your subconscious to try and solve issues that occur in your everyday life.
But nothing so heinous would ever cross your mind. You would never harm the precious angel who brought you healing in your times of need.
This wasn’t a coincidence. Someone came into your home while you were away. Someone killed your baby.
“We’re sorry, ma’am,” the county deputy sighed, “But there wasn’t any sign of breaking and entering. You stated that everything is where you left it, correct?”
“Everything wasn’t where I left it,” Anger rushed through you at the officer’s dismissiveness. “My cat was fucking fine before I went to work. I’d never… put her in an environment where she could be harmed,” Tears flooded your eyes.
“We understand that this was an attack done in your home. What happened here’s definitely not normal, but we won’t be able to solve everything in one night,” He consoled, “We’re getting a team here to investigate. I would suggest packing an overnight bag and staying with family or a friend until we get this situated.”
Family. You almost broke down.
When you didn’t respond, he interjected, “We can also find you a room to stay in for a few nights— “
“No, uh, thanks. I got it.”
You dug in your pocket for your phone and dialed Celeste. He nodded and spun towards his partner who jabbered into a walkie.
Your friend’s tone blared through the speakers, “Hiii, baby, what’s up! I haven’t heard from you in a minute.”
Your bottom lip wobbled, “Sorry I didn’t call. Um… can I ask a favor?”
“Of course you can. What’s the matter? Are you good?”
The floodgates that’d been building in your eyes overflowed, pouring down your cheeks and onto your work shirt. You wept.
“Can you come pick me up?”
“I just feel like… I feel like I’m going fucking crazy,” you whispered and picked at your fingers, “I know it doesn’t make any sense, but— “
“Nah, it makes perfect sense. You’re fucking psychic. That’s literally the only explanation,” your friend shook her head at you. “You dreamt about something and it happened a couple days after.”
“None of that shit is real, Celeste.” She sighed in disappointment.
“It’s not real to you,” she pointed from the other side of the couch. “My grandmomma was a witch—“You huffed and adjusted the blanket draped over your shoulders.
“But, hey,” she raised her hands in defense. “I can’t make you believe anything. But coming from the most superstitious bitch in town, somebody is trying to tell you something. You’re not freaked out?”
“Of course I’m freaked out! But I'm not wasting my time thinking about some… fuckin’ ghost— “
“What happened when we were at the club?”
Your blood went ice cold. You couldn’t stop the pure terror that spread across your face at the mention of that night. You’ve attempted to block… whatever happened out of your memory for the last couple days for your sake, but Celeste read you like a book, and you hated her for it.
“Exactly. Are you ready to talk about it now?”
“I… I told you what happened— “
“You lied about what happened. And don’t try to argue,” She leaned closer, eyes comforting. “We tried calling out to you for so long. We thought somebody fucking… laced you, or something, you were so zoned out. We were this close to calling the fucking police.”
“… What do you mean? I lost y'all in the crowd before I started dancing with somebody— “
Celeste shook her head, “No.”
Your throat went dry, the blood rushing to your head almost making you faint.
“We tried to tell you, baby. But we didn’t wanna push you to talk to us about it,” she said gently. “We were with you the entire time.”
The tightness in your chest wouldn’t subside, shuddering breaths leaving your nose with every denial from Celeste.
“No one else came up to us,” she whispered, “and no one danced with you.”
Your head kept shaking in attempts to disprove her claims, in attempts to combat the fear that was attempting to slice you from the inside out, but deep down, you knew she was onto something.
Celeste’s hold sadly didn’t bring comfort, but she held you close anyway, ensuring that you’re not by yourself, but all you could think about was your mother. The smile she used to give you whenever you succeeded never failed to recharge the dying battery in your back. It’s depressing how little impact her grin has on you in adulthood.
The dark cloud of your past cascaded over the two of you; If she were here, your best friend would’ve forced you into the passenger side of her father’s pick-up, already halfway across town by now, set to isolate. To escape.
“Whoever did this is incredibly strategic,” The tall detective stated with a journal in his hand, “They didn’t leave traces of anything: hair, fingerprints, nothing. It’s almost like they never broke in.”
You haven’t been able to get any sleep or go to work for the last week, completely isolated inside your friend’s home. When you received a phone call from the detective assigned to your case, you caught the first bus you could and flew back to your apartment complex. You don’t remember the ride.
Your hope plummeted at his declaration, even with his reassurance, “We’re doing everything we can to find this person. Your safety is our number one priority.”
He gave your shoulder an encouraging squeeze, and it brought you comfort. While you weren’t satisfied with their reports, you could see that he was trying. Was this your first time meeting him?
He seemed familiar, but you couldn’t place it.
He stared into your eyes with a gentle grin and continued, “If we should even call them that. They’re a cold-blooded, heartless fiend that needs to be taken out.”
Your brows furrowed at his sudden determination, but your head bobbed in agreement. Your mind was racing but you couldn’t say anything. Someone killed your baby. Did his grip on you tighten? You couldn’t move.
“The bastards that get away with such vicious crimes need to be put away forever,” his tone was harsh and sharp, and it made your fingers twitch. Your stomach plummeted when his smile stretched higher, his teeth shin
His other hand landed on your other shoulder. You tried to move back, but you couldn’t, “S-Sir— “
“They need to be hung from the ceiling by their throats and slaughtered like fucking pigs! Like the worthless animals they are! —“
His spit landed on your face at his screams. He hollered about how much he hated killers, how they were scum and deserved to be tortured. How you…
“You thought we forgot about what you did?” He whimpered; prior menacing smile vanished.
The bearded man in front of you was sobbing, his gaze pinning you against the wall. He didn’t blink and his eyes were bloodshot, his mouth turned downward, the corners of his lips nearly touching his chin. Your eyes frantically traveled over his form, his uniform replaced with pajamas and slippers.
“YOU’RE A KILLER! YOU’RE A KILLER, YOU’RE A KILLER, YOU’RE A KILLER! —“
Cursed murmurs amplified his pained shouts. Your home was melting away, the walls seeping into the floor before you dropped, the terror weakening your limbs. Your nails dug into the grass and dirt below you, panic electrifying your system.
The man was gone, but you were outside in the middle of the night, decomposing trees surrounding you. You tried to stand but you couldn’t. You were forced to take in the scene that you wished to never see again. The one scene that your subconscious couldn’t eliminate no matter how hard you tried to forget.
Your parents' car— wrecked car. The vehicle was completely destroyed, the bumper and windscreen ran into a tree. You screamed and shouted but no noise left, the sinister chants resounding in your ears. The wreckage seemed to move, closer, closer, your eyes locking onto the two bodies inside completely mangled in the accident.
The two bodies were younger you, thrown over the dashboard and your arm twisted to an alarming degree, blood running down your head and mouth, shards of glass piercing through the skin of your bare legs.
You couldn’t stop yourself from peering at the body beside you. You hollered for help, cried and begged to wake up, all while staring at your best friend — your soulmate, completely maimed from the waist up. It was just as brutal as you remember: her blood splattered all over the airbag, her limbs shattered and broken, large pieces of glass pierced into her skull. You were sick, you were sick.
Suddenly, the mantras that attempted to swallow you whole stopped.
Then there was laughter. Your soulmate’s laughter, but it wasn’t how you remembered. It was darker, hollow, empty. Enraged.
Everything around you went dark.
Sobs tear through your throat the second your eyes open, the comforting scent of Celeste’s lavender candles intruding your senses. Your body was drenched in sweat, and you could hear your friend calling out to you, her cold hands on your face, but you couldn’t think. You just screamed. Her attempts of trying to sit you up failed, your fingers hanging onto her sheets for dear life. You were paralyzed with fear.
Somehow, your biggest regret came to pay you a visit.
Your instincts finally kick in, pushing Celeste off you and bolting towards her bedroom door. She was calling for you; she even reached out to touch you, but you pushed her harder.
She screamed for you to stop, and you lost it.
“Get the fuck away from me! STOP — stop fucking touching me!” you rush out into her living room and towards her front door.
Shocked plastered across your friend’s face.
Celeste whispered your name; Why did she sound like her?
“I gotta get the fuck outta here, I can’t,” heave, “I can’t fucking do this, I can’t, I can’t — “
Distraught mumbles fled your tongue on your way out, not bothering to look back at your friend. You heard her sniffling before the door slammed shut, guilt swarming your chest, but it wasn’t enough to overcast the terror ripping you open from the inside out.
After vomiting outside of Celeste’s apartment building, — multiple times — you took your leave. As fast as you could. You couldn't say a word to her; She desperately tried to get information out of you, but your throat felt like it would crack open at the slightest whisper. The fear you’d been trying to invalidate crashed into you all at once.
You fled without your belongings, only slowing when night goers surrounded you in the city.
Celeste has been worried sick about you this entire time, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t care.
Your steps were jerky and quick, and you kept scratching at your shoulder. You felt her everywhere. All over you, but it wasn’t comforting. Not like it used to be.
You walked and walked, your mind racing with moments from your past: the last moments with your best friend. Your kryptonite. The scar in your shoulder was covered in fresh, red lines from your nails.
JUNIOR YEAR: 2012
You frantically shoved your books into your locker, anticipating the alarm that sounded for lunch. You can’t wait to get the hell out of here.
The second it goes off, you're booking it for the door. You hoped Ellie kept her word and brought your birthday present.
You busied yourself in your small cubby whenever security or teachers walked by, politely greeting them with the most innocent smile you could muster. They didn’t bat an eye, wishing you a happy birthday before turning the corner at the end of the hall.
You gave them all fake greetings until the loud tone blared through the hallway speakers, students instantly rushing out of their classrooms to head to the cafeteria. You grabbed your now empty backpack and merged with the crowd, trekking for the exit. You managed to scurry through the double doors of the school and bolted towards your parents’ old car, ducking behind the driver's side as you waited for your best friend.
You texted her a few times but she didn’t respond for minutes. You almost gave up and returned inside the building before two hands pinched your sides from behind. A squeal left your mouth when you whipped around. Ellie snorted at you, her arms wrapping around your neck in a tight hug. You reluctantly hugged her back.
HAAAPPY BIIIRTHDAAAY TOOO YOUUU—
You shushed her shouts with a smile, Shut up! Someone might hear you.
She kissed your cheek before releasing you, No ones fucking here, relax. Open the door, her head jerked towards the vehicle.
You stealthily unlocked it and the two of you jumped in. You shoved the key into the ignition as Ellie cranked the speakers all the way up, your car rattling with bass as you two exited the parking lot and zoomed down the main street.
Ellie belted Cherry Waves out the window, bright laughs leaving your throats as you drove to… anywhere. Times like this always bring you joy; You love being around her.
Ditching class might’ve not been the best birthday celebration, but you were having a ball.
You drove until you reached the end of town. There was a small campground that you and Ellie found on your first couple drives together, and it swiftly became your little get away spot. You’d spend hours talking, drawing, screaming at the top of your lungs until the sun disappeared and your parents demanded you come home.
You two raced to your designated spot by the lake, Ellie’s filled backpack slamming onto the sand, glass clattering from the inside. You mischievously eyed it, I think someone owes me a present!
I don’t owe you shit. I’m a good friend, say thank you, She rolled her eyes. You grabbed her hands and clumsily twirled her.
Thank you, Ellieee! you nearly ripped her bag apart as you inspected the contents.
Don’t go too crazy. Remember what happened last time? her smile was light, but you could tell she was scolding you. You snickered.
Um, yeah. We had a ball. Help me open this, you downplayed, passing her the unopened bottle.
You know exactly what she’s referring to; You might’ve drank a bit too much at your friend’s birthday dinner. And Christmas party… and when you all went to the fair, but it was all in good fun! You’re young and living life; Ellie’s always a bit dramatic when she comments on your drinking.
Ellie snatched the bottle and opened it, taking a large swig from it before handing it back. You followed in her lead, taking three large gulps of the liquid, the burn flowing down your throat and into your stomach. Ellie pulled her speaker out of her bag and queued your joint playlist.
The two of you drank and sang and danced until sunset, your vision blurry and legs wobbly. Ellie was sweet enough to help you back to the car, snagging the keys from your pocket before helping you into the passenger side. You tried to talk to her, but she couldn’t understand. She always looked so cute when you mumbled nonsense, wispy brows pulled down with a light smile. You felt so happy whenever she was around.
She drove you back home and you threw up all over your front yard. Somehow, she snuck past your parent's room without hassle, ushering you into bed. You couldn’t stop laughing; Her bright smile only made you cackle louder before her hand pressed against your mouth.
—
Ellie’s soft palms moved up and down your arm bare, occasionally squeezing your bicep. You couldn’t stop smiling, goosebumps following the drag of her fingertips.
You’re such a dork, she whispered between snickers.
You love me, you said much louder, but she hummed. The look in her eye was suddenly far away. You nervously nibbled at your bottom lip, your eyes dropping to her mouth. Did her lips always look this soft?
You admired every aspect of her face in silence, your index finger continuing to trace over the bridge of her nose, the apple of her cheeks, down to her chin. Ellie’s a sight.
Your hazy mind barely noticed the tint on her cheeks, your bedroom dimly lit by the moonlight cascading in from your window. Her eyes were glued to your mouth.
She inched closer, her moves subtle. You would’ve missed it if she wasn’t right there.
You don’t know what came over you, but your mouth pressed against hers. Her lips were stiff against yours, and it made you pull away.
She didn’t seem… happy, not how you felt. Her expression was gloomy, her eyes flashing with… everything and nothing at the same time. You locked up instantly.
You love me, Ellie… right?
Your tongue felt swollen in your mouth when you slurred.
Ellie didn’t answer, and you held yourself up on your elbow, your brain alarming your legs to get up and leave. To abandon.
Ellie… d-do you love me?
O-Of course I do—
The tremors in her voice sliced through you like a hot blade. Her confirmation was only meant to appease, your drunk brain told you. Ellie doesn’t love you, not like that. Your own parents’ love is conditional; Why wouldn’t hers be?
—
You were never a rebellious kid.
Your parents always praised you for being a remarkable role model for your younger siblings: incredible listener, studious, eager to help others. They never failed to highlight, amplify, pressure your good behavior. But their doting smiles disappeared when you failed to meet their expectations.
The transition from middle to high school was rough for you. Your grades suffered and you were surrounded by other kids you didn’t recognize, and your “star-student” streak vanished in an instant. You’ve never seen your family so disappointed in you.
You broke your back trying to save your academic status for the next few years. You hardly slept, ate, spent time with your newfound friends, and it was all for your parents. They didn’t acknowledge you until that offer to join the early-college program came in the mail during your sophomore year. When you accepted that you needed to have something to show to get their affection, you spiraled downward.
You swiftly replaced the emptiness in your heart with a bunch of seniors. They agreed to let you tag along if you could hang, so you did whatever was necessary to gain their companionship: started sneaking out, staying out late, going to parties that you had no business being at.
Started drinking.
Just one sip, loosen up! Little did you know that’s all it took to get you hooked.
The drink was rancid and a gross, murky color. You weren’t enjoying it, so why couldn’t you put the cup down for the rest of the night? You threw back cup after cup until you were unconscious on the front porch of the house. None of your friends bothered to take you inside where it was safe.
You barely recall being hauled back inside and upstairs, plush pillows under your head as you drifted off. When you woke, you swiftly decided that the pounding in your head and the nausea in your gut was worth it. Last night was the freest you’d ever felt. You almost missed the small sticky note stuck on your arm. Someone gave you their phone number, demanding that you tell them if you made it out alive (i hope so.)
You gained a best friend from that sloppily scratched note.
Meeting Ellie was a blessing. She was funny, smart and kind. She was so nice to you. None of your old friends treated you like she did. Ellie’s friends were much warmer and welcoming when she introduced you to them for the first time. Every time they had plans, you were invited, no conditions needed.
Every vacant space in your heart was filled with something brighter. It’s unfortunate that your brain has already mastered its attachment to something more dangerous.
Ellie… for the billionth fucking time, I don’t have a problem. Can you just let it go? you scoffed from your bed.
I’ll let it go when you cut it out. You can’t do shit without it anymore, She spat, pointing at the McDonald’s cup filled with Tequila. You grinned nastily and sipped your straw. You were so sick of having this conversation with your friends. With her.
Yes, I can. I’m fine. See? You sarcastically rubbed all over your body. Another huge gulp. I dunno why y'all are acting like this. I’m not the only one that drinks.
You’re not fuckin’ fine, first of all! It was fun at first, but you don’t know how to control yourself! You’re scaring everybody off, Her arms flailed as her voice rose. You’re so happy your parents are working.
You weren’t “scaring everybody off”; You did have some outbursts some time ago, but your friends were still around. They always called you for a fun time, and you were always there to show out.
Oh my fucking god, you’re so extra, you got up with your cup, grabbing Ellie’s hand and leading her into the bathroom down the hall. You removed the lid and dumped its contents out; You tried to hide the surge of anxiety as you watched it go down the drain.
See? I can stop whenever I want.
Then stop, she whispered, sadness in her eyes, No more… okay?
The emotions flowed through her eyes like water, and it made you uncomfortable. You already wanted a refill, but you nodded to appease her.
O-Okay, Ellie, I’m sorry, you whispered, and she hugged you so tight. Kissed your clothed shoulder, and it gave you solace, even if it was just temporary.
But when she left, you were alone, comforted by the temptation of your own thoughts. You broke into your parents’ locked liquor cabinet that same night.
—
When you showed up to exam day drunk, Ellie began to pull away.
She didn’t bother to beg and yell when you were entranced by your vice. You simply saw her less, and your heart cracked whenever your calls went unanswered.
Abandonment was the worst feeling, even more so when it’s a result of something you’ve done. Your anxiety spiked significantly when you strolled around campus and your friends ignored you, and it only made you drink more when you got home. The acidic pacifier you discovered was turning you into someone unrecognizable. You were failing, and you were alone. You’d wished your siblings were older so you could talk to them.
Everything came crashing when your parents received an alarmed call from your principal.
You’d been vomiting in the nurse's office for half an hour, and they ended up calling the ambulance. Your stomach was getting pumped hours later.
When you regained consciousness, the only thing you could hear were your mother’s hysteric sobs in the hall.
—
Summer came along, and you were out of rehab. Withdrawal fucking sucked; It took you almost three weeks to fall asleep in the center.
You didn’t expect to see Ellie and your friends sitting on your porch when your parents pulled into the driveway, flowers and your favorite candy in hand. Your best friend cried into your shoulder for an hour straight; You refused to let her go as you sobbed into hers. You’d missed hugging her.
When everyone was seated on your parents' couch, you offered to share the secret to get melty, gooey chocolate chip cookies every time. They couldn’t stop grinning at you; You were finally back to normal.
Ellie spent the night at your house and hugged you to her chest until you drifted off.
You accepted that you were a terrible person when all you could think about was a drink. Just one.
All the promises you made were broken a few months later, crushed into dust by your own hand.
—
Everyone you loved hated you. Liquor always forced you to see the truth in people, melted away the fantasy that you created out of self-preservation. It fueled the rage that you desperately tried to keep hidden from your family; You’re so fucking mad, and you can’t remember why.
Your parents hated you; your siblings hated you, your best friend, the one person you have to confide in, the only thing you had left to love, hated you. Everyone hated you, and it was all your fault. Selfishness was the only way one could be a successor.
The second Ellie climbed into your parents’ car with that soft look in her eye, fury swallowed you whole. You barely said a word to her, her favorite song cranked to maximum volume.
Ellie? Your voice was quiet, but you were seething. You don’t remember why.
Hm?
D-Do you still care about me? your hands were clenched around the wheel so tightly, you thought it would snap in two. She was suddenly tense in the passenger seat, but she whispered without hesitation. Of course, I do… always.
But you didn’t believe her.
Ellie should’ve never agreed to go on a drive with you.
The way Ellie whipped her head towards you was vicious, her hand slamming onto the volume button of your car to silence the noise. You hated how she knew instantly.
… Are you fucking drunk right now?
There it was. All the proof you needed. Confirmation that you were nothing but a disappointment. You hadn’t moved from the stop sign. Self-loathing thrashed from the inside; your teeth are bound to crack like glass with the tightness of your jaw.
She’d whispered your name with so much disdain. A molten tear eased down your face like magma. This was the same residential area you parallel parked in for your driver’s test.
Your eyes were glued onto the dimly lit street as Ellie cried and begged for you to stop the car. She admitted to loving you and apologized for everything she said that could’ve hurt your feelings. All you had to do was stop the car and everything would be fine, she said. You pressed the gas so hard; it nearly touched the floor of the vehicle.
I love you… Please don’t do this… I love you so much…
Ellie’s last scream was haunting before everything went silent.
—
The reality around you never rebuilt itself after that night.
You were able to convince yourself that the accident didn’t happen for a few weeks. Until your best friend’s burial. According to your parents last voicemail, Ellie’s father wanted to strangle you with his bare hands. You took his life away with one decision. No one contacted you after that. Not your parents, not your siblings, not your friends.
You were charged and placed in juvenile detention until you were of legal age, and sent off to prison for another six years after that.
Your habit fed you lies about the people you loved most, and it cost the life of your only constant. The one person who tried to get you to change. The purest form of love you had.
You killed your soulmate, and you never recovered.
PRESENT
You walked until you reached Hattie’s front porch. Your calves were on fire.
Your tightly clenched fist pounded on the wood with all the strength you had left. You could see the shadows of someone walking around inside, but she didn’t open the door. She probably wanted nothing to do with you after not showing up to work for weeks, but you were desperate.
“M-Ms. Hattie, please,” you hollered, “I really need t’talk to you! Please, please— “
The door barely creaked open. You expected her to scream and berate you for disrupting her so late in the night, but she was silent. Didn’t utter a word. She only peered through the small crack in the doorway, her eyes bloodshot. Her voice sounded graveled, like she hadn’t slept in days.
“What the hell are you doin’ here.”
“Ms. Hattie, I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t know where to go,” You harshly wiped your eyes, “May I please— “
“No, you may not,” her glare sliced through you, sharper than any knife. You bawled.
“Please, I’m beggin’ you, ma’am— “
“What…” her voice quivered, her gaze breaking away from yours for a split second.
“What did you do… to that girl?” She whispered like it pained her, and it felt like your chest would concave.
“… W-What?”
The look on her face was enough for you.
She knows. She knew.
“It was you,” tears filled the woman’s eyes, “I had a dream that you… How could you do that… That poor baby…”
Your head shook in denial. It was an accident, you wanted to scream, I don’t know what came over me! Your eyes squeezed shut and you fell to your knees, thunderous pleads leaving your throat as you begged her to listen. You hunched over and miserably tried to grab at her feet.
I loved her, I loved her, I loved her! You couldn’t speak.
“Whatever happens t’you…”
“No, nonono!—“
“I hope God… the universe… whoever the hell,” She spat, “Has mercy on you.”
You couldn’t stop screaming. Your voice was muffled by the concrete floor.
“Get the fuck off my porch.” And the door slammed in your face. You heard the locks click, and just like that, your last inkling of hope shunned you.
You hadn’t realized you’d been screaming for Ellie until you sat up, burning eyes glued to the dark, cloudy sky.
The sun rose from behind as you climbed your apartment steps.
The bundle of police cars and black trucks outside the building were an indication of your case being ongoing, but it brought you no comfort. A constant ache was present in your chest every time you breathed. Murmurs erupted from behind as you dragged your body inside, ignoring the deputies who were urging you off the premises.
Officers and residents stared at you in confusion, shock, bewilderment the second you hopped off the elevator. Exhaustion was pouring out of you, your under eyes almost black and pajamas wrinkly. You can’t recall the last time you showered.
The elevator dung, and you made your way down the hall, police tape surrounding your front door. You dodged it and crept in, the sight of the investigators almost sending you into a panic.
Terror built in your spine as they gawked at you; Ellie’s fucking with you. You’re probably asleep right now.
“Ma’am?”
You shakily turned towards the investigator assigned to your case. “Are you alright?”
No. You nodded, “I came to get some things.”
Some silence passed before you spoke.
“I need a place to stay,” your cuticles were scabbing. “As far away from here as possible… if that’s even allowed.” Your living room felt like it was tipping.
Their brows furrowed, scanning over your ragged appearance, “Um… The farthest we can place you is about a half hour away. We still need to monitor you… Especially now.” You bit the dig with a tilted head.
You nearly leaped into the air at the sudden, distant ring in your ears.
“Will y’all still cover m’stay?” The tremor in your hands built with the shrilling pierces in your drums.
“Yes… Are you sure everyt— “
“I’m fine! I’m fi— I’m fine!” The shrieks overwhelmed you, both hands coming up to cover your ears, your head pounding. Foreign hands were attempting to steady your hunched form, but to no avail. Your body gave out completely, pained wails leaving your dry lips.
I’m fine, I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine—
You tried. You tried your hardest, but you couldn’t convince anyone — yourself that you were okay. Something’s here. When did the air in your home get so cold?
The softest call of your name frosted the blood in your veins.
You’re hallucinating; You have to be. Don’t look up. Don’t open your eyes.
The voice called again, elation enriching her tone. Your head shook in disbelief.
It can’t be.
“L-Look at me. I’m here! I'm okay!”
No, no no no, you told yourself. Sobs wracked through your hunched form.
“Look at me! I love you!”
Shoe-covered feet inched towards you, slowly. Almost… cautious.
“Wake up! Wake up, wake up!” Your whispers were harsh. Urgent. Desperate.
A comforting hand rubbed your shoulder. You flinched and wailed, frantically pinching the skin of your wrists.
“NO! No, no, fucking get up— “
“Shhh,” Her hand squeezed you, “It’s me.”
You’re going to fucking puke. Your eyes stayed shut while she cradled you, your head resting on her shoulder. She felt taller, stronger, but she smelled the same. You couldn’t move, but she hugged you so tight.
Ellie, Ellie, I love you, I’m sorry—
A kiss on your shoulder. Right over your scar.
“I love you more.”
You calmed in her presence as she rocked you on the floor. Your guilt almost made you push her away, but you’re selfish; You need this, for her to hug you.
It felt like she held you for years, right on your apartment floor. She didn’t let you go.
But when your eyes opened, eggshell white hospital walls surrounded you. Kept you trapped in the small hell that Ellie’s created.
You haven’t slept or eaten. You’ve barely showered.
Ellie was with you. Ellie’s with you. You felt her there; She held you! You’re not fucking crazy.
Three days have passed since you were carried out of your apartment by EMTs, according to the investigators that are still terrorizing your fucking home. They assumed you were having a seizure by how still you were. You were unresponsive for minutes, they’d said. Celeste was right. You didn’t have the courage to face her and apologize.
You haven’t left your motel room since you’ve arrived. You hate it in here — it looks like it’s eroding from the outside, the windows are scratched and tinted a murky yellow, the sheets feel like sandpaper, but it’s better than home. Better than being in public amidst your impending psychological breakdown.
Ellie’s here. She’s watching you and laughing at the wreck you’ve become.
You’re slipping; You can feel it. The way she hugged you… You could’ve melted into her for eternity when she said she loved you, never to be seen or heard from again, completely under her control. Not that anyone would care about your disappearance. A gutted huff left you.
Your past finally caught up to you. Tears flooded your eyes for the hundredth time tonight.
The faint shuffling coming from your bathroom didn’t even shock you. She’s here again.
Your eyes overflowed, and they shut in resignation; You’re going to die.
“E-Ellie?”
Silence.
Your eyes squeezed tighter. You have nothing left to fight for.
“Just do it! Just fucking do it!”
That’s all you’ve ever been: a quitter. More shuffling, then silence.
“FUCKING KILL ME! KI— KILL ME, ELLIE!”
You heaved and rose from the edge of your bed. You marched down the seemingly endless hallway, heart cracking in your chest.
“KILL ME! KILL ME, KILLME! —“
Weighted knocks pounded against your room door, shocking you into silence. She’s here, she’s here; She’s fucking with you.
A dark chuckle left you.
“You’re fucking sick,” You spat with a sniffle, “I hate your fucking guts, just like you hated me! You fucking hate me, right?”
You’re awake. And you’re angry.
You tramped towards the entrance and knocked back just as hard.
“FUCK YOU, BITCH! FUCKING — FUCK YOU, ELLIE, YOU FUCKI— “
Heat traveled across your face the second you ripped the door open.
A woman… a motel employee… with sheets in her hand, visibly stunned.
You’re going fucking crazy.
“Uhh… just came to give you new, uh, sheets,” Her voice was high-pitched, clearly uncomfortable. Your eyes flickered with embarrassment, cheeks blazing.
“S-Sorry…” You allowed the shorter woman entry, and she scurried over to the small nightstand in the corner of your room.
You picked at your fingers, “Um… sorry if I scared you. It’s been a weird… fuckin’ weird couple of weeks.”
She didn’t acknowledge you at all. Just silently laid the sheets and pillowcases on the side of your bed.
“Am I,” You huffed, anxiously rubbing your eyes. “Are you gonna report me or somethin’?”
Silence.
Your brows furrowed at the sudden stillness of the woman, her back turned towards you.
“Hey, you okay?” A cautious step forward. “Look, I’m… I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I’m fine— “
“Fuck you.”
You flinched at her venomous tone; voice filled with spite. The fuck?
“… What?”
“After all this time…” she whispered, the ponytail in the woman’s head shaking in disbelief.
“You’re still the same… selfish, psychotic fucking bitch I remember you to be.”
Your knees buckled at the sudden low timbre of her voice. Goosebumps ran up and down your arms at its familiarity. She sounded just like… She’s… It can’t be. It can’t be, it can’t be—
The one window you cracked for air earlier slammed shut, the clicks from your door signaling your confinement. You’re trapped.
Your nails sunk into your palms; She’s here. She’s real and she’s fucking here and going to kill you.
Her laugh filled the room, low and vengeful, and the one lit lamp on the nightstand flickered off.
Your breaths were shallow and desperate, sheer panic rushing through your body. You took blind, scurried steps towards the door, feeling around for the knob to take your leave, but it wouldn’t budge. You pounded on the wood from the inside, screaming for anyone to come save you.
Something cold and slimy slinked around your ankles and roughly yanked you to the floor, your hands scrambling to grab onto anything on the hardwood as they pulled you towards her. You caught glimpses of her glowing, red eyes with every panicked look over your shoulder.
You were pulled up, up, up by your feet until you were dangling upside down, her glowing orbs piercing through yours. You barely made out her manic smile, fangs bright and as sharp as knives. Something sharp pressed against your windpipe, ready to tear your throat out.
The room she trapped you in disappeared completely, an empty, dark void surrounding her, you. There’s nothing anywhere.
You hollered as your stomach flipped; She’s going to kill you right here—
“Ellie, please, please don’t! —“
A sharp slice right through your shoulder. You released a pained scream before your vision grew cloudy, body growing limp as you swayed in the air. Your screams quieted, your drowsy mind filling with images of Ellie smiling affectionately at you.
Ellie… Ellie, please…
Trees danced with the wind before everything went dark.
Water erupted from your mouth, your eyes ripping open, fingers tearing into the dirt beneath you.
You pushed yourself into a sitting position, more water dripping from your hair and clothes, down your bare legs. Pain shot through your shoulder with every move. You reached to touch it and… ouch. Blood coated your fingertips.
You gazed around. You knew exactly where you were, but it was off.
You and Ellie’s hideout. The campground is exactly how you remember, but it was darker, murkier, less inviting and cozy. Familiar, yet foreign.
“Miss me?”
You jolted, scurrying away from whatever was behind you.
“Aww, don’t be scared,” Ellie mocked, fake pout pulling at her lips. “C’mooon, it’s just me! Welcome to my humble abode!”
What the fuck, what the fuck—
The same appendage from earlier wrapped around your leg, yanking you back, and your heart sank. Your eyes were deceiving you; They had to be.
Ellie, much taller and stronger than you remember, stood over you, pupils pitch black, a devious smile spread across her face, sharp fangs glimmering in the dark. The two horns that swirled atop her head were dark, the protruding veins red and throbbing like they were alive. You saw the sharp edge of her tail glowing behind her head, speckles of red liquid crusting over on the tip.
Is… Did she cut you with that?
Your heart squeezed painfully with familiarity; The small spots that dusted her face and the scars that covered her legs from biking accidents were still there.
“E-Ellie?”
She posed, arms extended, “In the flesh. Kinda. There’s no… actual flesh for the dead… Well, we technically could have skin, but it wouldn’t be ours.”
“I’ve been lookin’ for you. You look good,” she muttered, eyes dark as they traveled over you. You suddenly felt exposed.
Silence passed between the two of you. How was her tone so casual?
What the fuck is going on…
She huffed at your silence, “Didn’t think our ten-year anniversary would be this fucking awkward. Can’t even say hi?”
Her words were hardly registering.
“Huh.” Her eyes flashed back, and the organ around your leg untangled, retracting into the grass beneath you.
“You’ve… you’ve been looking for me?”
“Mhmm,” she hummed, carelessly playing with her razor-sharp nails. “You got outta jail, got a place… bought the bakery you always talked about. Congratulations, jailbird! You beat the system… and were able to outrun the devil for some time!”
She showcased the ashy, decaying scenery like it was a prize. “Here’s your first glimpse into the other side. Is it to your liking? Should I fluff your pending gravestone? Put some roses over it since everyone you love won’t?”
Other side? “… Am I dead?”
“Nope! Almost. You have a purpose before I take you out. Finally, am I right?” Sarcasm sharpened her tongue.
“… You're insane,” your voice was hoarse, shattered. You swore your esophagus was bloody.
“Me?!” She snickered sickly, eyes darkening, “Remind me what happened between us again? Who hurt who? Who killed who?!”
“… I— “
You paused. What the fuck do you say to her? I still love you somehow. Please don’t hate me forever. I’m a worthless fuck up—
“None of the above,” she interrupted… your thoughts? “To be frank, I don’t wanna hear shit from you,” she swayed sassily, circling you like a shark, her tail sashaying around.
“… Why’m I here then?”
She paused, the muscles in her back flexing. Your gut tumbled.
Ellie turned to face you, lips curling devilishly.
“Well… ” she trailed off, voice alluring. “It gets lonely down here. I don’t have anybody to call. Nights are so cold.”
She suddenly dropped to her knees, sensuality practically leaking out of her as she crawled towards you. Your heart was thumping, stomach in knots.
“I need you… to do exactly what I tell you…”
Your breaths shuddered the closer she got.
“I’m so fuckin’ hungry… Just sit there and let me take what I want,” Her mumbles were drunk and lustful. “You fucking owe me. I’m trapped here ‘cause of you.”
She straddled your lap, eyes glued to yours. They flashed red, and an appendage locked around your throat, knocking the wind from your lungs and pulling you flat onto the dirt. You tried to pull against it, but it tightened on your airways. You choked, pain searing in your shoulder, causing you to let up. Another set of slimy appendages clasped around your wrists, followed swiftly by two locking down your ankles.
The burn from your bleeding shoulder made your nipples harden under your filthy sweatshirt. She chuckled above you.
“That was quick,” Her brow arched. “Haven’t gotten any? What, no one wants to drill a felon?” She cooed with a pout.
You shot her a glare. A squeeze on your throat. A clench from your walls.
“Oh!” She exclaimed in remembrance. “Sorry about that club fiasco. I was gonna fuck you then, but seeing you enjoying yourself got on my nerves, so.”
She rambled on about how she made a whole plan to ruin your life the second she found you until you were rotting in the grave, but you weren’t listening. Your eyes moved over her lips, down her neck, over her bare chest, blood burning under your skin. Another squeeze from your cunt. Your face burned with every drop of slick that left you.
“Think I’m cute? The horns doing it for ya?” she interrupted your gawking.
You averted your gaze. She snorted before her expression went lubricious, eyes glossing over.
“You smell so good,” she slurred with fluttery lids.
No, you don’t. You haven’t showered—
“I meant your pussy, you fucking idiot,” her eyes rolled in annoyance. “You’re killin’ my vibe. Shut up.”
Your eyes widened in shock; Don’t think, don’t think—
“She smelled like that in the club. Just needed some lovin’, hm?” Her hand reached back to pat your pussy over your pajama shorts and you squealed. You’re leaking.
“Oh, she’s starving— “
Fear and arousal flurried in your tummy, “What’re you gonna do?”
You could almost see the wires in her head sparking to life. She leaned over you, her cold body pressed against yours, noses almost touching.
“I’m gonna rip that pussy open until I feel better…” The aura around her was smokey and blinding. “And then…” Her nose bumped against yours, almost affectionately. “I’m gonna rip that fucking throat out. Might hang your body from a tree. I needa decorate.”
A choked sob left you, thighs rubbing together as tears plummeted down your temples. Ellie shushed you gently, her forked tongue licking over the droplets before they cascaded down into the grass.
Every swipe of her tongue sent a zap through your face. The sting sent your jolt through your spine, hips bucking into her. A hot, slick line ran up your cheek, grazing your jawline, cat-like spines digging into your clammy skin.
… Is… Is she really…?
You couldn’t stop the shudder that ran up your body, your foot jerking outward at the sensation. The tentacle clenched around your ankles, and you gasped. Ellie was grinding on top of you, whimpering into your neck, marking your skin.
“E-Ellie, El— “
Another swipe, a thick, sticky trail burning its way into your hairline. Your whines are almost inaudible. Pain is burning up your legs when the organ twisted tighter; You’re shocked your ankle didn’t snap in two.
She moved faster on top of you, pleasantly sighing into your neck. Your face is fucking sizzling.
“What the… fuck,” The situation is settling in for you: Ellie’s dead… but, not? And she’s humping you like a dog. You shouldn’t want to watch her, observe the love of your life get off on your fucking stomach, but you — your pussy wants it — needs her.
You missed her so fucking much.
Soft chuckles erupted from her, icy breath on your neck. She sat up, rubbing her bare cunt on your tummy.
“You wanna watch?”
No, no no please—
Your head shook, mind racing with pleads for her to touch you, but she stared back in disapproval.
“I think you wanna watch,” She sat up, lifting her knees and resting her freezing hands on your thighs, her pretty pussy on full display, “Missed me that bad?”
She’s right there, but you can’t move. More tears, more begging from you.
“Wanna see a trick I learned?” She inquired mischievously. You didn’t have a chance to answer before more vine-like organs emerged from the dirt, eager and throbbing, globs of slick dribbling from their tips.
“When you’re sad and horny, answers will eventually fall in your lap,” She watched the appendages sliver all over her shoulders, her back, down her stomach. Her head flew back, her short flyways waving around her horns.
“I bet that fucked up head of yours never expected this would happen, huh? Never thought you’d see me like this?” She moaned out as the suctioned limb traveled over her left nipples, her eyes beaming red, scorching through your chest.
Your walls squeezed down on nothing, desperate groans leaving your throat, underwear clinging to your cunt. You couldn’t close your legs, the members slinked around coming up to suck on your thighs.
Nasty little cuck, her voice boomed through your skull, Wanna watch me get fucked, right?
Your head bobbed dumbly. The appendages scurried down her body. You watched as the veins in her horns glowed brighter, her eyes shading an even deeper scarlet, her lip catching between her teeth when the suctions came in contact with her clit.
The slippery members attacked your thighs with strong suctions, the sensitive skin littered with blotchy, dark spots. A wet slither made its way up your body, under your sweatshirt and in between your tits. The tip teased both nipples, your back arching deeper for more friction. The air was muggy and your body was disgustingly sticky; The sensations made your clit jerk.
You blearily stared up at Ellie, nearly cumming at the sight of her with a thick, throbbing appendage fucking into her pussy, another two attacking her nipples. Her walls were stretched around the dark, pulsing tentacle, her juices filling the open air with sopping squelches.
Her eyes fluttered open and refocused on you, a dark line of drool dripping from her mouth and landing on your exposed torso. You released a pained shout, your skin burning at the contact. Tension built tight in your core, clit throbbing in your underwear. You’re struggling to breathe, head floating further into the clouds with each whimper from Ellie. She giggled hazily, moans sounding between her condescending snickers. She gathered spit in her mouth and allowed it dribble onto one of your breasts.
S’hitting it s’good! Fuck, I can’t—
Finally, finally, the tentacles choking your legs unraveled and crawled up, closer to your drenched cunt. Just one touch — you need one touch and you’ll cum. Just one, just one, please, please—
Slut needs t’cum? Beg some fuckin’ more, c’mon, Ellie’s moans and shouts in your head were somehow bringing you closer to that peak you desperately craved.
“Please, El, please, fuck… me— “
“I’m — oh, fuck, yes— “
Your shorts and underwear were being ripped from around your waist, yanking you in all directions. The friction made your walls constrict tight. The harsh suctions on your clit were instantaneous. Finally, finally, finally—
You and Ellie’s moans melted together, colors floating behind your eyelids. The wet sounds from Ellie’s pussy made your peak build in record time, zoning in on her cries. You’re going to cum so hard. It’s almost there, just a little bit more—
Ellie’s everywhere. In your head, line of blurry vision, on top of you, about to break and shatter. She's so perfect, shrouded in darkness and gloom and desire.
The tentacle suddenly expanded inside her pussy, stretching it wider, massaging all the spots that made her see white.
“M’gonna fucking cum, s’gonna make me cum— “
You’re so close, you’re close, you’re close. You wordlessly begged her to cum with you. Her knees trembled while her legs begged to close, but she forced them open. Forced herself to take everything, all of it. The tentacle pulsed sporadically inside her, and she crashed.
Pleasure was snatched away from you in an instant, the suckles on your clit gone. You cried and sobbed for Ellie to make you cum, but she ignored you, her body wracking in pleasure, heavy globs of black slick dribbling from her cunt, right under your tits.
She rode it out, bouncing on the large appendage before it shrunk to its original size. It jerked inside her a few more times before leaving her completely, more dark, gooey liquid dripping from her pussy.
She came down slowly, giddy laughs leaving her swollen lips as her walls rippled from the aftershocks.
“This is gonna be…” she scooped up some of the substance with her razor-like nails before shoving them into your mouth.
The peculiar twang coated your tastebuds. She continued.
“So much fun.”
You never thought you’d have the chance to kiss Ellie again.
But you are, and you’re so fucking nervous.
When you kissed her for the first time, you were confident, impulsive, reckless. Your regret didn’t come until after, but now here you two were, her split tongue messily sliding over yours, your tongue sizzling from the venom coating her mouth. Ellie’s mess seeped into your skin with each jerk of her hips. You’d give anything to touch her.
Your eyes squeezed shut every time she suckled on your lips, licked up your chin, squeezed her hand over your throat. She’s much more secure this time around; It’s almost enough to get you there.
Almost.
You were suddenly yanked back by your hair, head thudding the ground. Ellie seemed deep in thought, eyes distant.
“You’re a bad kisser.”
Your lip quivered. Ouch, “S… Sorry…”
“Ellie?” Your throat burned.
“Yes, dear?”
Her tone made you flinch. Everything you wanted to say left your brain in a cloud of smoke.
“Am… Am I…?”
“Are youuu…?” She trailed off. Her hand disappeared, lower, before a loud, sticky noise blaring in your head. She sighed happily; Ellie’s touching herself. Right in front of your face.
Your face is on fire and your shoulders are cramping up.
“Will… Can I, can I cum?”
“I don’t know… can you?” She shrugged with a smile.
Your eyes nearly rolled in annoyance; they would’ve if you weren’t so desperate to be fucked senseless.
She sat up fully, her wet hand reaching right in between your legs. They nearly clamped shut on her wrist, but more tentacles appeared to hold them open for her. She wasn’t looking at your pussy, but she knew exactly where to touch you. She rubbed her own juices into your clit, a nasty shhlck filling the calm air.
Tears built in your eyes at the sensitivity, your toes digging into the dirt beneath you. Her thoughtless mumbles were barely registering in your melting brain. Your impending orgasm nearly crashed into you before she stopped.
Your body tensed and your pleasure dissipated. Sobs left your mouth as you garbled, “E—llie, please, please, no more— “
“Don’t close your legs, I mean it. Take what I give you like a good bitch,” Ellie shimmied down your body, resting in between your legs. The tentacles hooked under your knees and forced them up, holding them right against your chest. You can’t see what Ellie’s doing and she’s silent.
You wanted to ask what was taking so fucking long—
A loud crack rang through the heavily wooded area, pain searing through your thigh. The stinging sensation brought tears to your eyes, sobbing softly to yourself.
The sudden flicking against your clit brought tears to your eyes. She’s touching you, finally. Your arms pulled at the veiny tentacles still clamped around your wrist, aches running down to your shoulders at the stiffness.
Ellie’s fingers were replaced with something much softer, and your body turned to mush. The appendages around your thighs twisted tighter, gripped harder, as the barbs from her tongue caught on your clit. It felt so fucking good; her split muscle moved so quick on your clit; your yelps of her name sound into the crisp air. You’ve been on the verge of cumming this entire time, but you can’t.
Suddenly, her tongue is easing downward, brushing against your perineum. Your hips tried to push down into her muscle, but to no avail. You could feel numbness building in your feet from the restriction.
Look at this tight little ass, two of her fingers were massaging your other hole, causing you to whimper.
Yeah? she pressed down harder, Like it right there?
Your head gravely bobbed in approval; you’ve never been touched there, but you crave it now.
Tiny fucking hole… gotta get you ready, huh?
Her voice is thick and haughty; you’re shivering.
A glob of spit lands on your ass, the sensitive skin tingling, numbness spreading across the pulsing area. She rubbed it in quickly and gave your hole one last slap.
Her tongue was back at your cunt; you squealed at the sensation of her tongue slivering past your entrance, walls stretching over her muscle. The soft splinters massaged your walls just right, caressing all the spots inside you and you felt it building —
Suddenly, her tongue stretched wider, expanded, pressed down on your walls, right on your spot; you were squirting on her tongue seconds later. You couldn’t warn her of your orgasm before you bursted, walls desperately milking her as satisfied shouts escaped your lips, your brain turning to goo.
“El — mmh! Fuck, yes, rightthere! —“
Sniveled thank yous were pouring from your lips as Ellie fucked into you, your juices coating her face. Bursts of color exploded behind your eyelids.
You thought you would never come down, but the intensity of your orgasm slowed, eyes slowly blinking open. Your vision was spotty; Ellie slowly pulled out, humming at the squeals that left you. You couldn’t move.
Suddenly all the tentacles were gone, limbs free and weightlessly plopping onto the ground. Your eyelids fell shut in exhaustion, your heart flooding with longing.
“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” A light kick on your shoulder.
Ellie…
“Get the fuck up. I’m not done,” she snorted coldly.
Ellie… please…
“What the fuck did I say,” The agitation in her tone rose.
I’m so sorry…
“I don’t care,” You were suddenly pushed onto your back, Ellie standing over you, eyes glowing dimly.
I miss you so much…
Memories of your past flowed through you, soft sobs shaking your weak form. Ellie deserved… everything good out of life. The purest forms of happiness were destined in her path, and you took it away. You took everything from her, and all you could do was watch what she’s become. What you caused.
The more you cried, the more disgusted she seemed, eyes growing darker.
She pounced on you in seconds, nails grasping your bunched sweatshirt and sharp tail tip prepped to end you right then and there, speckles of spit splattering on your face due to her shouts.
“DON'T!” The dying world around you shook with the bass of her tone. “Don’t you fucking dare!”
You didn’t fight. You allowed her to berate you, call you every vile name in the book, and digested her wishes of you dying instead of her. Every scream slammed into your chest; you merely laid there, ready to die with love in your chest.
I love you… I love you… I love you…
“FUCK YOU, YOU LYING BITCH! FUCK YOU! YOU FUCKING DID THIS TO ME! I’M GONNA KILL YOU— “
Bloody streams fall from Ellie’s eyes, the veins in her head changing from maroon to coal, the veins in her arms darkening as her voice deepened, razorous teeth baring. She sobbed and screamed from above you, wailing how much she hated you. You’re numb.
The venom from her tail was discharging from the tip. It’s time; it’s your last day alive. You nodded to yourself. You deserve this; You’re ready. You hope your siblings aren’t too saddened by your disappearance.
Is this the final stage of grief? Your body is lax and accepting, heavy droplets leaving your eyes when they shut.
I love you… I’m sorry… I love you…
Another sharp prick went through your shoulder, and darkness enclosed around you.
JUNIOR YEAR: 2012
You’re such a dork!
Ellie swears her heart is going to grow legs and crawl up her throat in the next thirty seconds if you keep staring at her like that. She's projecting; She’s the dork!
The few shots she took at the lake were wearing off, and her nerves were finally catching up to her. She was surrounded by your pillows, your stuffies, your scent; she could barely swallow, her throat was so dry.
You love me.
She does. Ellie never acted on her swiftly developed crush; she’s not built for rejection, especially from you. The smile on your face was so bright; your joy was so apparent whenever she was around. She hoped her own happiness reflected the same way; Please love me back! Please please please—
Her heart exploded, sewed itself back together, only to explode again when your hand came up, fingertips barely grazing her cheek. She’s going to faint; your touch was so soft. Was she crazy to compare the feel of your hands to rose petals? She tried to keep her nuzzles subtle, pushing her face closer to your hand; Is this how cats feel when they want cuddles?
You proceeded to explore her face in silent adoration, and she did the same, memorizing every detail she could. The moles on your face were lined like stars.
She scooted closer to give you more access to her now burning skin, and you kissed her. Ellie was stunned, body stiff; she didn’t have a chance to kiss you back before you pulled away. The scent of alcohol was pouring from you, and Ellie snapped back to reality.
You’re drunk. You kissed her and you’re drunk.
You’re probably not going to remember the entire night when you wake the next morning. Ellie’s eyes nervously searched your now downcast face. Say something, you coward!
But you spoke first.
You love me, right?
More than anything, Ellie wanted to scream, not caring if your parents woke up and kicked her out. But she couldn’t. Her brain was moving a million miles a minute, trying to find the words that would satisfy her feelings, but they were too strong. She’s in too deep; Words aren’t enough.
But you look broken and your body’s tense. She’s putting you on edge and she hates herself for it.
Do you love me? Your begging tone snapped her out of her head.
Of course I do, she gasped, mouth gaping like a fish.
More than anything! More than anything! I love you!
You only nodded, relaxed back into her, and shut your eyes.
Ellie went to sleep with a terrible feeling in her stomach, but she held you anyway.
Ellie’s weight crushed you as she sobbed into your neck, her cries loud and guttural, the sharp puncture of her horn pressing into the plush of your cheek. Her curses grew weak and quiet, mumbles of I fucking hate you cementing into your skin.
You simply laid beneath her, unmoving and stunned wordless at the memory — the truth that Ellie exposed to you. Her body jerked on yours as she wailed.
You hardly noticed the fresh tears rolling down your face. You sniffed, “Ellie…”
She sobbed, her head shaking dismissively.
“Ellie… Look at me…” You couldn’t move.
“Fuck you,” her choked murmur was hushed.
A sad smile grew on your face.
“Almost did…”
Ellie sniffed harshly against the burnt skin on your neck, almost touching your bloody shoulder, “What.” She mumbled flatly.
“Y’know… you almost did fuck me.”
Some silence passed before a wet snort came from below you. Your grin widened.
Ellie’s shoulders shook slightly as she snickered into your neck, arching hers slightly to look at you.
“I should kill you for that, you cunt. You’re not funny.”
Your body jerked with laughter, and you grimaced at the pain in your shoulder. “That's what you get.” Ellie sat up straight, smile slowly dissipating, eyes glossing over.
The light moment between you shifted, and sorrow weighed you down like bricks.
“I fucking loved you,” Ellie whispered harshly. “I wanted you to be happy. And you didn’t fucking care.” Anger was radiating off her, but the dread in her eyes was more telling. “You were… everything to me.”
The wounds in your heart were overflowing; your efforts of repairing your heart were proved pointless, blood and love and suffering filling your chest to the brim. Quiet sobs were shared between the two of you.
“Please k-kiss me,” Ellie’s eyes squeezed shut at your hushed proposal.
“Just one more. You can do whatever you want… just one last time.”
You sat up slowly, ignoring the deep aches in your side, your trembling hands cautiously raising to cup Ellie’s frosty cheeks.
Her face is so close; her lips are right there… just one more, just one—
Ellie’s eyes traveled across your face, lust and years of longing flooding in her tears. Her eyes shut and she leaned forward, her cold lips melding against yours. The kiss was gentle, your eyes squeezing shut as you cried, your tears transferring onto her cheeks.
Ellie’s hushed tone filled your head.
I wish I hated you.
You choked a sob, arms wrapping around her hips to pull her closer, her arms enclosing around your neck, the kiss growing hotter. You needed her closer; so much closer.
Her tongue slid past your mouth, the split muscle messily flicking over yours as her hips bucked down. You heard loud tears of cloth coming from behind you as Ellie shredded your sweatshirt with her claws, discarding the fabric on the dark heaps of grass.
She sighed into your mouth when you laid her back onto the grass soaking, crawling on top of her. Her legs wrapped around your waist, pulling you down to reconnect your mouths, her fangs cutting into your bottom lip. She sucked the injured skin, humming at the metallic taste; your hips bucked down harder to meet hers, and she whimpered.
Her hands were freezing as they slid down your bare sides, claws pressing into your hips. You could feel your heart pounding in your throat as you kissed down her neck, soft noises of satisfaction erupting from beneath you. You suckled on her throat, tongue sliding down to her jaw and back up again.
“Can I, fuck, let me do something— “
You moaned in approval, thighs shaking at the sound of her voice, coming back up to press your mouth against hers.
A heavy gasp left you at the feel of slime dripping onto your thigh. Ellie dug her nails into your hips to steady you, and you whined at the sting. You stared down, entranced at her gleaming eyes, bottom lip trapped between her teeth.
“Hold still.” Ellie’s whisper was strangely comforting, your body relaxing into hers. The light suck on your thigh made you squeak, chuckles releasing from the girl beneath you.
“And you’ve been doing this for how long?” you jokingly snarked, voice shaky.
“Meh, six years, nothing crazy,” she replied, shrugging sarcastically. “Just don’t move.”
Ellie’s hand moved lower, pressing at the end of your spine to deepen the arch in your back. She shushed your eager whimpers, slowly easing your hips back until your cunt brushed against the serpent-like organ. You shuddered and attempted to jerk away at the strange sensation, but Ellie held you still, snorting to herself.
A sharp gasp escaped your lips at the feel of its tip swirling at your clit, your head dropping onto Ellie’s shoulder. It took mere seconds for the suction to attack your sensitive clit, pleasured moans huffing from your mouth. Ellie’s mouth was right by your ear, her chilled breaths sending shockwaves down your spine. Your clit throbbed under the pressure: how were you already on the verge of cumming?
“Feels g-good? Yeah?”
Your walls were squeezing down harshly, desperate to hug and milk something hot through your orgasm. It takes all your strength to lift your head and kiss Ellie, but she does all the work; licking into your mouth, sucking on your tongue, bruising your lips with every slice of her fang. Every pass of her tongue is a pull in your gut, your clit pulsating with vigor.
She pulled back, just barely, to whisper how excited she is to fuck you, to turn your pussy out, to make you cry. Your moans were loud and eager, your head bobbing dumbly in compliance with anything she wanted. You’d give her everything you could in this moment.
Ellie’s in your head, in your senses, in between your thighs, and you’re losing it. She’s reaching at you, tugging at your body in any way she could: scratching at your tits, pulling your hair, clawing into your skin with intent to scar. You’re sure your back is bloody. Her touch is painful; why does it feel so good?
Your thoughtless head drops yet again as your orgasm is forced out of you, your walls choking the hot air surrounding the two of you. Your wails are muffled along with Ellie’s spat praises, your hips bucking back for more. The pleasure is almost too much and you’ve barely started; She hasn’t even fucked you yet.
Your juices are pooling out of you, knowingly making a puddle on Ellie’s tummy, her affirmed moans pulling more and more out of you. Your peak is unrelenting, draining every last bit of energy your body has left. Your limbs gave out, your weight crashing on top of Ellie’s.
She hastily maneuvered you onto your back, the spines of grass puncturing your skin from beneath you as she climbed on top.
“Your stamina’s fucked.”
Her winded snide remarks didn’t bother you; you need her to fuck you. You’re sweaty and desperate to feel her everywhere. She wasted no time, reuniting your mouths in an eager kiss as her hands ventured anywhere they could. Your body’s aching, but for some reason, you crave more. More hurt, more pain; You need her to use you.
The world around you moved like water; unlike your first dream, the waves brought comfort. Ellie’s touch felt like the ocean washing you away, all with effort to finally bring you peace.
But it didn’t work. You love her; You deserve pain, and you love her.
Her mouth is on your tits, biting and sucking at your nipples. It feels so good to have her this close; your body’s wet and ready for her to ravish you.
Ellie scurried down your body, sat on her knees in between your legs, her hands pressed under yours to hold them up. Your thighs are resting on your chest as Ellie dribbles a line of slobber over your soaking lips. Hums fill the space between you as it slides down, right over your entrance.
Seconds pass as Ellie stares at your cunt; You call out to her by mistake.
“What.”
Fuck. “No-nothing. Sorry.”
“You want something. Say it.”
You shake your head, and she smiles. Raunchy imagery of her fucking your pussy flash across your mind in an instant, and her grin widens.
You jolt at the sudden slap on your cunt before Ellie presses your legs even higher, knees almost next to your head. You ignore the aching stretch in your limbs and reach to grab your ass cheeks, holding them open for her. Heat spreads across your face when she moans at the sight.
Oh fuck, Ellie’s whimpering to herself; whining about how good your pussy’s going to feel, how you’re going to swallow her whole, choke her out. Juices are oozing from your cunt with each jerk of your walls.
A tentacle emerges from the ground, and Ellie’s expression darkens. It’s lecherous; the way she eyes your pussy as the organ slivers closer to your entrance. You couldn’t hold your moans in anticipation of the stretch. It’s right there, swelling and twitching.
Your head falls back against the sopping grass when your hole grasps the wide, leaking tip, eyes rolling into your head as Ellie’s moans ring deep in your skull. The tentacle is practically melting between your walls as they spasm.
Ellie’s so loud above you, completely hunched over your form as her body shudders, her lip trapped between her sharp teeth. They must’ve pierced the skin, a thin trail of black liquid dripping all the way down her neck.
You take it so fuckin’ good, Ellie’s slurring, tongue swelled in her mouth. You’re already peaking, your legs attempting to slam shut at the tight hug of your walls. The organ is suddenly swelling, walls stretching around the girth to trap it as deep as it can go. Tears are running down your face, groans of Ellie’s name melding with your harsh breaths.
Seconds pass, and the tentacle’s shooting inside, and your head goes blank, your orgasm slamming into you. You're silent as it wrings your body. The intensity is almost painful, like it’s being forced from your body and your cunt’s drained dry: it’s hot inside you where the fluid pools, and your walls are sucking it deeper.
You didn’t register Ellie falling forward, her body convulsing on yours, screams of how good your cunt is leaving her in a flurry. Her words are gritted and deep and her nails are in your bicep, but the pain only makes you cum harder.
It’s been minutes, and you’re deadweight, walls twitching around the still jerking organ planted deep inside your guts. No time to recover, though; Ellie’s pulling out, a nasty sound echoing at her departure as cum seeps — drenches the grass under you. It’s never-ending and sticky and you need more.
Ellie’s already up and moving you onto your stomach, your cheek pressed against the dirt. She’s hasty, spitting on your cunt with a fiery just a dumb slut, huh? You nod, squeezing your walls to push more cum out. There are heavy suctions on your back, forcing blood to the surface at the curve of your spine. Followed by a sharp stabbing on your ass cheek.
Ellie’s mouth is on your supple skin, and the blood in your ass rushes to the surface. Her fangs are locked into you as she empties the veins in your ass.
You couldn’t even scream, eyes squeezing shut at the searing pain as your walls release more cum. Ellie hums: another bite. More blood’s leaving you, being sucked from your ass, your thighs, the end of your spine, but it’s not enough. You need more. Ellie’s draining you but it’s not nearly enough.
Another tentacle presses in once more, and your vision’s blurring; there’s another tentacle sucking at your ass, your eyes crossing at the stimulation of both your holes. Ellie’s nails are breaking the skin of your back, dribbles of blood sliding down your sides and into the dirt. You love her and you love it; everything feels so warm and full and good.
Ellie’s chides are making you wetter; your thighs won’t stop shaking, she sounds so sexy. Every shockwave in your brain is memorizing every word, every syllable. She's babbling about how she might spare, keep you trapped here forever so she can drain your blood through your pussy, suck you dry, and it gets you there again.
Ellie — m’cu—cumming!
You don’t know what you’re saying; voice muffled against the dirt, tears and snot running down your face while you squeal like a pig. Ellie’s calling you one as you squirt on her, just a dumb, worthless pocketpussy; The smile on your face is stupid as your walls drain her while she throbs inside you. You’re so stuffed with her cum already, but you need more inside you. You feel so fucking good and the pleasure won’t seize.
It picks up again as the thrusts get faster, hitting you deeper, just where you need it. You don’t get to recover before you’re slung into another mind-numbing orgasm, your body wracking without rest. Ellie’s massaging every spot that makes your spine break, dirt collecting under your nails as they puncture the ground. Your groans are cracking in your throat; You can’t even swallow.
The tentacle’s swelling again, and Ellie’s hand is on the back of your head, pressing your cheek against the grass, nails scratching at your scalp as you beg for her cum. Her moans are picking up again, demanding that you beg some more, that you fucking cry for it, be a good girl a bleed for me. And you do.
As messily as you can; slobber pooling at your mouth as you sob and choke for her cum, eyes crossed in your skull as your tongue lolls, and Ellie’s shooting in you again, stuffing you to the brim as she cries your name from behind, grunts leaving her with each rope of cum seeps in your womb.
Your pussy’s melting around her when the sucking at your ass pauses, only to push in the incredibly tight space, to stretch your virgin hole open around its girth. It should hurt, having both holes filled to such a wild degree, but it doesn’t. Your weak arm is reaching behind, desperately grabbing at Ellie. You expect her to smack you away, to hit you, to slice your hand clean off your wrist, but she doesn’t; You almost miss the light touch, her pinky lacing with yours.
You’re joyous, head dropping as you sob from pleasure and happiness, heart filled with a love that you never thought you’d feel again.
She’s drilling your ass, fucking you so hard and good as she holds your smallest finger with hers, kissing down your bloody back, licking up the scarlet that leaks from your skin. Suddenly, another tentacle — much smaller than the ones tearing your holes up — emerges from the ground, right in front of your face, its juices leaking onto your cheeks.
It wiggles in front of your open mouth before shoving in; the taste is salty and metallic, but your lips work it, sucking and licking all around the length. You feel so filthy and it’s making your tummy tug, another orgasm building in your pussy and ass. It’s going to shatter you completely from its strength, you can feel it.
Your body’s aching for more cum; you’re surprised it’s not coming spilling from your throat and onto the appendage in your mouth. But Ellie’s close, every whisper becoming more frantic as she rides that edge.
You’re mine, she whispers in your ear, Fucking mine, you understand? You’re not going anywhere.
You get it, you get it! You’re never leaving her again. Fuck everything you’ve built for yourself! Your life is pointless without Ellie next to you. You’re going to cum so hard for her.
Your body’s hers; Your heart is hers; your soul is hers. You love her, you love her!
Baby likes that? I own this fucking pussy?
She knows she does: whispers so gross and conniving and you’re twitching under her. You’re babbling around the swelling appendage, telling her — screaming that you belong to her, you always have. You always will!
You feel her teeth as she grins madly in satisfaction, sloppily mumbling mine mine s’ my pussy against your skin as she swells inside you. You’re stretching, gaping around her and you snap, head planting into the dirt. Both sets of walls clamp down sporadically around the large digits between them, the tentacle slipping from your mouth as you scream.
Ellie’s exploding inside both holes, the tentacle above you spraying all over your face, heavy globs of cum landing in your hair, the back of your neck, splattering on your mouth, anywhere it could reach. Juices are spraying from between you, and Ellie falls forward, her freezing chest on your back as she jerks on top of you. Hearing her just as destroyed from the pleasure sends another surge of euphoria through you, somehow stronger than the first.
You can barely take it, but Ellie makes you, continues flooding your holes until they’re overflowing and sticky. You’re both sent to another plane as you convulse together, her pinky still locked with yours as you lose consciousness.
When you wake, there’s warmth.
You’re still filled to the brim with cum, but your form is blanketed. Small, tired huffs hit your back as Ellie shivers on top of you, barely audible noises alerting her satisfaction. You smile.
You can't move; all your strength is used to wiggle the cramped muscle of your interlocked finger. Tears well in your eyes when Ellie’s finger hugs yours tighter with every small movement.
Ellie’s the blanket; Ellie’s warm.
Suddenly, everything around you is pink, the formerly empty spaces in your heart filled with affection. You missed Ellie so much; You’re finally reunited, and in love. You can’t stop smiling, and neither can she.
—
—
—
‘BREAKING NEWS: BAKERY OWNER FOUND DECAPITATED IN MOTEL BED’
Today marks one of the most heart-wrenching, horrifying days that our community has ever seen, the local reporter stated. We have never witnessed a case end this disastrous.
To the loved ones of this individual, we share our deepest condolences. The victim made such a large impact on our tiny town with her small business. Nobody… the reporter sighed, Nobody could’ve seen this coming.
Please be on the lookout for any updates regarding the suspect. Investigators are putting as much effort into this case as they can. Police suggest staying indoors with your loved ones this holiday until further instructions.
May God be with her family. Have a blessed night.
idk how to use picsart sorry yall LOL
taggiesss ily thank u 4 being patient :D :
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So Clueless || Aaron Hotchner
Summary: Request - I do want to add to your plate if you don't mind 😬 can I request a hotch x younger!reader fic where it's years after WITSEC and his retirement and he's remarried to someone younger he met at his new, normal person job... Read Rest Here
A/N: I'm back!! Loved writing this one so much! Hope you guys enjoy :)
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Y/N
Word Count: 3.8k+
You never planned to change your last name if you ever got married. You came through on that plan after falling in love and marrying Aaron Hotchner. He, in his early fifties, and you, a little younger than that, fell in love quickly after meeting at work when he started there almost ten years prior. You were a zookeeper and Aaron was your area manager, the rest was quite literally history.
The two of you hid the secret relationship until he was moved elsewhere in the zoo finally allowing you to come out with it. Dating turned to an engagement turned to marriage. You became Jack’s, now 17, stepmom and brought in his younger brother, Riley who just turned 9, and sister, Madison who was 7, not too long after the two of you tied the knot. Weeks turned to months turned to years and you loved your life, you really did. But the kids were getting older, and you needed a bit of a challenge. Aaron joked about you joining the FBI and the idea stuck. You weren’t a profiler, no, but you would make a damn good communications liaison. You’d basically become that for the zoo you were working at anyway. Your position of zookeeper gradually shifted to communications lead throughout the park.
Your plan was put on hold until one fateful afternoon when you saw the elusive job posting come through to your inbox. You just kept rereading the job posting before making sure your resume was up to date. You wanted to apply but decided to wait for Aaron to make sure it looked as good as possible. He worked there for years, he had to have some tricks up his sleeve.
It wasn’t a few hours later that all three of your children and Aaron came bounding through the front door off to do whatever they had planned. You’d always offered to pick the kids up from their various sports practices after work, but Aaron often refused, he wanted to spend the time with them. You could only imagine how guilty he felt about missing out on Jacks start of life. He refused to miss out on any of Riley’s or Maddie’s.
“Sweetheart.” Aaron kissed your cheek as you finished putting dishes in the dishwasher.
“Hi hon.” You hugged his side pulling him into your embrace, “How was your day?” Laying your head on his chest you looked up to him with all the love in your eyes.
“Pretty uneventful. Mandy and Anthony were at each other’s necks again. The animals behaved better than people, the usual.” He hugged you back brushing a few strands of stray hair from your eyeline.
This was his favorite part of the day, spending time with you. The fact that he knew he got to come home to you warmed his heart. Too often before he spent time in hotel rooms instead of his own bed. Oh, how he loved his own bed.
You grinned, “They just need to hook up already. For everybody’s sanity’s sake.”
“Y/N!” He laughed squeezing your side.
You pulled away from him shrugging, “What? You know they only bicker like that for one reason. They both need to just need to get it over with. I think Tammy said she was going to kill one of them sooner or later if they don’t shut the hell up. Her words, not mine.” You pulled a beer out of the fridge handing it to him. It was a Friday night, neither of you had any commitments in the morning, why not get your husband a little tipsy?
He took it from you, happily, “Cheers.”
You clinked glasses with him giving him nothing but a happy smile.
“Anything we’re drinking for something?” He raised an eyebrow, surely profiling you.
Letting your head nod up and down you laughed softly, “How do you always know?”
He smiled walking closer to you, “It was once my job to notice.” He pulled you back into his embrace by looping a finger through your jean belt loop, pulling you right towards him.
“Speaking of that.” You leaned your chin on his chest looking up at him with a smile. You didn’t miss his eyebrow raise in curiosity, “Job opening just came through.” Handing him your phone you waited for him to say something, anything. He knew how hard you’d been working to set yourself up as the most desirable candidate. Often going to lectures and seminars. Inserting yourself in the world you were so far away from. Going to go get a criminal communications degree at the FBI’s favorite school, Georgetown. You wanted more, needed more than what you were stuck doing.
He nodded giving you another once over, “Honey are you sure?”
“I’m positive.” You smiled, “I finally graduated with my criminal communications degree. I’ve outgrown my position at the zoo. I think it’s perfect timing Aaron.”
“Okay sweetheart. Let’s go get that resume cleaned up.” He reached for your hand ready to get down to business. He’d do anything for you, and this was what you wanted so that made it what he wanted too.
You weren’t sure how much Aaron had helped but you knew it had to be more than he was admitting to. He claimed he simply gave Prentiss and Strauss a call to put in a good word. You knew it was more than that when you got the compensation offer for far more than you’d discussed. You weren’t going to question it though. Your mom always told you never to look a gift horse in the mouth.
You’d have assumed Aaron had told somebody of your relation to him. That assumption was soon to be proven untrue when you met the infamous BAU Unit Chief Emily Prentiss from all of Aaron’s stories who was clearly trying to figure you out. When she asked you, “Are you married?” You knew she hadn’t a clue who you were. This was so Aaron to keep his two lives completely separated. A little heads up would’ve been nice though.
“I am. I have a stepson and two kids with him.” You smiled wondering how long you could play this game until they figured it out.
Emily smiled pressing the elevator button going up, “What are their names?” She was just being friendly. Knowing she was childfree for good reason.
You knew it wouldn’t give you away in the slightest, but it gave you the slightest thrill to speak his name out loud, “Jack is my stepson. Riley and Maddie are my younger two.” You pulled out a picture that strategically hid the younger Hotchner’s face showing it to Emily.
“They’re adorable.” She handed the phone back to you.
“Do you have any?” You asked knowing the answer. It felt odd knowing everything about her, yet she hadn’t a clue who you were. But you had to play stupid, or you’d make it pretty obvious something was up.
She shook her head, “No. But I have six agents that act like it sometimes.” She shot you a wink letting you get out of the elevator first. You got along great with the team after quickly recognizing JJ, Spencer, Morgan, and Penelope from Aaron’s pictures. Playing dumb was getting harder and harder throughout the day when you let it slip that your husband’s name was Aaron and that his son Jack had just gotten his license in a story you were retelling. Something they had just been told by him not that long ago. Surprisingly nobody picked up on anything, not that you could tell anyway. You weren’t a profiler but being married to one had you pick up on the small things that people normally glossed over.
When you got home that night you had Aaron howling with laughter after you detailed the day and how his old team didn’t seem to have a clue that you were in fact his wife of nearly ten years now.
“Don’t tell them. Let’s see how long it takes.” He cupped your face in his hands brushing his thumbs over your lips softly, waiting for your response.
A slight nod in his hands, “Any reason?” You asked, all too curious.
He shook his head, “Let’s see how well I trained them.” He laughed again. You joined in finding his joy more than contagious. More often than not he was in an incredible mood finding any and every reason to make you smile.
“They’re not doing so well Agent Hotchner.” You baited him. Taking a step back with a silly little smirk you watched his reaction.
He threw his hands up, “it’s only been a day sweetheart. Give them a week or two.”
“That’s a deal.” You grinned pulling his waist in for a quick kiss on the lips. Grinning when you felt him smile into the kiss. You felt those similar butterflies you always got from him. How he managed to make you swoon all these years later was beyond your wildest dreams.
They in fact did not figure it out within a week or two. It had been a month now since you started working with the BAU at the FBI and they had yet to even piece two and two together. You’d given them your whole life story minus pictures. The only good excuse you had was that you were private. It worked though. Nobody pried. You provided the same courtesy to them too. Only digging as far as they’d let you.
Aaron had even gotten his longtime friend and colleague, the one you’d actually met, Rossi to play the game. He stopped by the offices every now and then to help the team when they were in town. Retirement was great but even he had to admit he was terribly bored. He claimed he needed to keep his brain from going mushy, so he had to help on cases.
He was having all too much fun testing the team, “Y/N.” He called bringing you back to the present and away from your mind.
“Yes, Rossi?” You looked up from the stack of paperwork you were powering through, definitely your least favorite thing about the job.
“How’s your husband doing? Haven’t talked with him in a while.” He smirked knowing only you could see his face.
He wasn’t technically lying. Aaron and Dave normally spoke almost daily. They’d been missing each other this week though, “He’d good. Said he’s looking forward to seeing you and Pat this weekend.”
Morgan frowned interrupting the conversation between the two of you, “You know her husband?”
Had somebody finally started picking up on it? How was Rossi going to talk his way out of this one?
Rossi nodded, “Oh yeah, we go back years. Friends for a long time. It’s a small world.”
Derek nodded trying to get a better read on the situation, “They’ve known each other longer than we have.” You smiled. If the team hadn’t been so overloaded he might’ve picked up on it. But he simply nodded turning back to his massive pile of bullshit he had to get done before he could leave.
“That was close.” You whispered earning a soft chuckle from the older man.
“I’ll see you later Y/N.”
You waved, “See you Dave.”
“Small world? Huh?” Derek looked back up giving you a side eye almost as if he didn’t fully believe your story.
“Incredibly small.” You confirmed.
If he knew he didn’t say a word. It wouldn’t be that hard to hide if they did any sort of digging, which you were sure Penny had already done. Why she hadn’t told the whole team was a mystery unto itself. There wasn’t a chance she didn’t do a deep dive on you for Strauss before the FBI hired you. Maybe Aaron had gotten to her before you did?
You only laughed when you saw Rossi’s old pickup truck siting in your driveway as you pulled in after working later into the night. To your delight the house was quiet leading you to believe the kids were elsewhere for the weekend. Aaron always had a plan, always. Something you’d grown to love very deeply. He could take charge of any and every situation no matter how big or small.
“David, I thought you said you’d be over Sunday. Not that I’m not happy you’re here.” You grinned setting your work bag down by the kitchen island.
“That was the plan until this afternoon. Aaron needed to know how his team is missing every sign.” David poured you a glass of the chilled Pinot Grigio he brought over.
“They are busy Rossi, be nice.” You took a long sit of the cool wine.
Rossi smiled, “We have to send in the big guns Monday Aaron. Jack has to come in. Bring in Y/N’s lunch or something.”
“That’ll give it away.” You grinned setting the glass down.
He shrugged, “They’ll never figure it out at this rate.”
Aaron sighed, “I’ve got to admit. I’m a little disappointed.” The smile on his face betrayed his words though. He loved every second of this. And with Jack being off for the summer he didn’t see why he couldn’t conveniently drive him in to drop off his mom’s lunch.
The plan sprang to life when Monday rolled around. You couldn’t believe Derek had gotten up almost the second that Jack walked out of the elevator. Waving him over you didn’t notice any of your teammates watching. Unreal, what were the odds of that.
He’d almost gotten in and out unspotted, or so you thought, before Derek walked back over spotting the now grown Hotchner.
“Hey kid! What are you doing here? You grew another three inches since the last time we saw you a few months ago.” Derek roughed the teen’s hair up. You only grinned sitting in your seat, somehow he’d missed the entire interaction between the two of you.
“Just dropping off my mom’s lunch.” Jack smiled knowing what game he had to play too. The Hotchner boys were having way too much fun with all of this.
“She works here?” Derek asked, surprise evident in his voice. He didn’t suspect a thing.
“She does.” He didn’t elaborate any further knowing he’d give the whole gig up if he did, careful not to look back at you.
You watched as Derek tried to figure out who the hell it could be. Obviously it had to be somebody on the floor. It wouldn’t be long before he put it all together now, “Well I hope that means we’ll see you some more kid.”
He nodded, “When I’m not in school. See you later Derek.”
“See you Y/N.” He waved making sure not to blow his cover.
“Bye Jack.” You winked at him making sure Derek couldn’t see, “I’ll see you later.”
When you looked back over at Derek he was staring right at you, “Sweet kid.”
He nodded confirming what you had just said. Curiosity got the better of him as he asked, “Did you see who his mom was?” Missing the fact that Jack just said bye to you and knew your name.
You shook your head, “Afraid not.”
“Interesting.” He kept looking at you. Then to the lunch that was sitting at your desk then back at you. He had to know. He was far too smart not too. But he didn’t say a word.
Raising an eyebrow, you knew he was so close to connecting the dots, “What is?” Giving him a sweet smile trying your best to play it off.
“Hotchner’s kid being here. Last thing I expected to see today.” He sat down at his desk across from yours.
You bobbed your head along, “Old boss?”
Derek hummed turning back to his paperwork letting you know he was getting back to work. How he hadn’t gotten it yet was a little surprising to you but being bogged down with so much work probably did have something to do with it. You didn’t see Spencer sitting there at his own desk across the aisle listening in very closely. He did see Jack come right up to you handing you a brown paper bag before making a beeline to Rossi’s office. It didn’t take him more than two seconds after that to realize you were his old boss’s wife. How could he not have seen it? Sure, you didn’t take his last name, but he still should’ve put it together. You weren’t shy about using his and Jack’s names.
Spencer let out an audible sigh once he realized deciding to keep his mouth shut. It was clearly a game at this point. How long would it take the rest of the team to notice?
You smiled looking at the team photos on the wall in the conference room. It was fun to see Aaron in his element outside of what he does now. It was hard to believe he was so serious and rigid. So different than the carefree man he was now. The one he was allowed to be after taking the retirement deal Strauss offered him all those years ago.
“That was is 2009. We were all pretty new to the team back then. Minus Hotch and Rossi.” Spencer’s voice spoke from beside you. That drew your eyes away from your young husband and back towards him.
“You all look like babies.” You laughed scanning over the much younger faces of the team members.
Spencer smiled, “I’d like to say we were naïve too, but we were years into it at that point. We’d seen it all, how awful humanity could be.”
You couldn’t fully understand Aaron’s stories until you had gotten here. This team truly saw the worst of the worst and stories only told you so much. In just your month here you fully understood. You got why he cautioned you. You could certainly handle it. It didn’t make it any easier though.
“Yeah, at least you had each other right?” You asked.
“Couldn’t have done it without them.” He turned pointing towards Aaron, “Without him. He did a lot for us. Miss him a lot sometimes.”
“He’s handsome.” You grinned not thinking Spencer had a clue of his relation to you.
He ignored you asking his own question, “Did you change your last name when you got married?”
You shook your head quickly, “No, too much of a hassle now a days. My friend got into a legal nightmare with taxes when everything didn’t switch over properly.”
He laughed softly enjoying your rambling, “What’s his last name then. Aaron what? Don’t think you ever told us, Y/N.” He leaned back on the wall grinning like a little Cheshire cat.
Busted. He had to have known. Do you tell him? Might as well, “Hotchner.” You bit your cheek to hide the little smile that was threatening to spill over.
He clapped his hands together, “I knew it.”
“Course you figured it out.” You laughed seeing the excitement of being right cross his face, “What gave it away?”
“Jack dropping off your lunch.” He scratched the back of his head, “It’s a little embarrassing I didn’t figure that out sooner.”
You shrugged, “It’s not like I’ve met you before. Plus, we’re more than a little busy here.”
“Is that why we didn’t get an invite to the wedding? He wanted to hide that side of his life away?” A flash of what looked like hurt crossed his face before a neutral expression took over.
You shook your head quickly, “Our parents didn’t even get an invite. It was just me, Jack, and Aaron.” You bumped your hip against his trying your best to reassure him.
Relief washed over, “Small wedding.”
You laughed, “Very intimate. We’d both already done the big fancy weddings. We wanted to make it just about us. It was incredible.” You admitted to him. Divulging another aspect of your life to him that had yet to come up. You’d gotten married and divorced. Married far too young with no plan didn’t make for a very loving and lasting relationship.
“Wait.” Derek’s booming voice came from the entrance of the conference room, “You’re married to Hotch?”
You spun around on your heal facing Derek and the team behind him with equally confused expressions, “Guilty as charged.” You smiled at them. You had to start laughing seeing all their expressions go from confusion to recognition to acceptance.
“Finally!” Penny let out a rather large sigh of relief, “I’ve been hiding that for far too long.” She shot you a wink.
Derek cocked his head to the side, “Why didn’t you say something baby girl?”
You spoke up for her knowing he was about to try and guilt trip her, “It was Aaron’s idea. Rossi and I just played along. Penny’s good at keeping secrets.” You returned her wink noting Rossi’s absence. He’d be so annoyed he missed this.
Derek’s jaw looked like it was about to hit the floor, “Well I guess it’s nice to formally meet you Mrs. Hotchner.”
Shaking your head you responded with a big cheesy grin on your own face, “He thinks he failed you all at this rate. We had a bet that you’d get it within two weeks. He took the under.”
“Don’t look so smug Hotchner lite.” He took two fingers and pointed them right at you.
The entire room erupted at that one, “Hotchner lite. I like that one.” You answered him once all the laughter died down.
“Alright,” Emily commanded the attention back from the room, “Hotch owes us all a round after pulling that little stunt.”
“That he does.” You agreed, “He said your all invited over once you figure it out. Consider this the formal invitation.” The team agreed before the day started and the case was given. Fortunately, the case was local.
When you got home late that night you found your husband quickly wrapping him in a big hug before spilling the details of your day. He stood there listening to every word like it could be your last. Just another thing you adored about him. He just made you feel so cherished and adored.
“Of course, it was Reid.” Aaron chuckled once you finished the story, “For as smart as they all are they can be so clueless sometimes.”
“That’s what I said!” You joined in the laughter with him as the two of you snuggled in on the couch. Neither of you making a move to turn on the TV, just enjoying each other’s presence. Leaning your head down on his chest your eyes drifted shut listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
“I love you sweetheart, get some sleep.” He ran his hands through your hair knowing that’d knock you right on out.
“Love you.” You mumbled before falling asleep on top of him, happier than ever with the way your life seemed to just fall into line.
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don't call me 'baby'
PART 1 | SERIES
Pairing: Steve Harrington/fem!reader
Warnings: Sugardaddy!Steve, swearing, sexual harassment/men being gross, alcohol use, smoking, age gap
Wordcount: 4k
A sugar daddy modern AU, a whirlwind summer romance in Italy, and two people from completely different walks of life, somehow finding each other in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. But, what will happen when summer ends?
PART 1 | in the same room, at the same time
This wasn’t supposed to happen. That’s what you would tell yourself, later. But, life is funny that way - nothing ever really goes the way you’d expect it. And, when you had taken the last-minute shift at Enoteca Bruni, the fine-dining restaurant where you worked as a cocktail waitress, you could have never predicted where the night would take you.
It had started with a large reservation that had come in around 8pm, four businessmen in suits and watches that you imagined cost more than your entire month’s rent. You were used to that type - considering the prices on the wine list, nearly everyone you served here lived at least three tax brackets above you. It wasn’t a job meant for everyone - a lot of these types of customers were dismissive, rude, and expected those who serve them to disappear in the background, not to interrupt whatever they were doing, which was obviously oh-so-important. But, the tips were phenomenal, and the late night hours worked perfectly with your daytime shifts at the cafe in the city’s center.
Still, the most intriguing thing about them was that they weren’t Italian, like you had gotten used to - nor were they speaking Spanish, French, German, or any of the other languages you had learned to recognize over the last few years. No, they were American. It wasn’t often that you heard your native tongue and accent nowadays - no, it was actually jarring. But, you welcomed it. The oldest man at the table, a gray-haired, thin man with a sharp face and tailored three-piece suit, smiled when you greeted them with a hello.
“How wonderful,” he had exclaimed. “Someone from our side of the world.”
“Finally,” a younger man with a smattering of freckles on the other side of the table had said, exasperated. “We’ve got someone who actually speaks English around here.”
“Well,” you said, “To be fair, you are in Rome. I suppose you could say we are the odd-ones-out.”
He rolled his eyes, and shrugged. “Yeah, well, I guess I’m just trying to say it’s nice to actually understand who I’m talking to for once, you know? Not that I’m looking for her to talk back.”
Unfortunately, that didn’t even crack the top ten worst things a customer had said to you in your time working here. So instead, you just plastered on a cheerful smile.
“Of course. In that case, what drinks can I get started for you gentlemen?”
As the hours wore on though, it was becoming harder and harder to feign kindness. With each wave of dismissal, or snap of their fingers, you wanted to take the drinks you were serving and throw them in their faces. The worst of the bunch were probably the first older man you had spoken to, who had such a vile demeanor about him that you couldn’t quite put your finger on it; and perhaps worse than him were two of the younger men, the dark-haired one with freckles, and a sandy-haired guy with what you could only describe as a mullet.
1982 called, it wants its hairstyle back, you thought to yourself.
It was those two who you could see undressing you with their eyes, who called you over for nonsense requests, asking you to bend over the table to get things that you knew they were perfectly capable of reaching themselves. And, you weren’t deaf; you heard the comments they made as you walked away to fetch more wine and scotch.
Look at that ass go, one of them said. I’d definitely hit it.
As if you could pull that, the other said. Besides, you’ve already got two bitches on the side Billy; leave some for the rest of us.
Don’t look at me, the sandy-haired man who was apparently named Billy retorted. If anyone around here needs to get laid, it’s Harrington.
With your back turned, you rolled your eyes, and wondered if they’d notice if you spit in their drink - that was, until no-first-name Harrington replied.
Guys, lay off - just let the girl do her job, yeah?
You took a deep breath, and recomposed yourself - it was the bare minimum, but it was something - someone who saw you as a person, maybe.
You carried the tray over with a wide smile plastered on your face, handing out drinks as you surveyed the table. You glanced at Harrington, the quietest one in the group - you had hardly heard a word from him all night, until right now. He was handsome, on the younger side of the group, but you’d estimate still about a decade your senior; he had a thick, slightly wild head of chestnut hair, and more of a boyish look about him. And with the exception of his perfectly-tailored suit and ostentatious Rolex, he didn’t look to have much else in common with his colleagues at first glance. While they sat at ease, laughing and conversing over their drinks, he sat up straight, stoically swirling his wine.
You pulled the post-dinner cigars they had asked you to bring out of the box, slicing the end with the guillotine cutter and handing the first one to the oldest man, striking a match and lighting it for him until he drew smoke. It felt humiliating sometimes, to light the Suits’ cigars for them as if they couldn’t do it themselves, but that came with the territory in a place like this, you had learned.
You reached Harrington last, only for him to shake his head.
“Oh, none for me - thank you though.”
Thank you - he was probably the first one from the table to say that all evening.
“Can I get you gentleman anything else?” you asked stiffly.
“That’ll be all, for now,” the gray-haired man said, waving you off.
You nodded, and at the bar, decided it was high time for your smoke break. You glanced at your watch - your shift was over in less than an hour, and your high heels were killing you. You signaled to the manager behind the bar that you were taking fifteen, and shouldered your way out the door.
*****
The first few minutes outside were peaceful, and relatively quiet - at least, as quiet as Rome could be at this hour. There was still the distant sound of traffic, the bustle of people on the sidewalk, many drunkenly stumbling and laughing, in the midst of making merry on a Friday night. You took a drag from your cigarette and inhaled deeply - even just a few moments off of your feet, and sitting out here on this bench in the fresh air, was starting to take the edge off. Still, you couldn’t shake that table of men - your manager had warned you that it was a very high-profile client, explaining that the dinner was likely a pretense for some multi-million dollar deal to be discussed. Still, you found yourself muttering under your breath, practicing the retorts and profanities you had wanted to throw at them. The shield you had built for dealing with customers was only so strong, and if your job wasn’t on the line, you probably would have told them to fuck off hours ago.
You were so lost in your thoughts that you don’t hear someone approaching, not until they’re right next to you, clearing their throat.
“Oh! Jesus, hi,” you say, clutching your chest with your hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.”
Harrington was standing above you, hands in his pockets and his tie loosened.
“It’s fine - I promise, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
His smile was friendly, and a bit apologetic. He looked different in the dim light, a bit younger, and not at all like someone who spends his days in an office doing… whatever those men inside did.
“You mind if I sit?” he asked, gesturing to the empty spot next to you on the bench. You just shook your head, a bit wary of him still.
He smiled, and started fishing around in his pockets until he pulled out a small baggie of tobacco and a pack of rolling papers. You raised your eyebrows, and smirked.
“You roll your own cigarettes?” you asked.
He nodded, not quite looking at you, focused intently on the task and hand.
“Yep. It’s so much better than that crap you smoke, trust me.”
You scoffed, despite the fact that this man was technically your customer, and your shift wasn’t quite over yet.
“Yeah, well, I’m doing just fine with what I’ve got. Thanks though…” you trailed off, looking at him expectantly. He caught on and turned to face you, grinning.
“Steve. Steve Harrington.”
He extended a hand towards you. You hesitated for a moment, caught off-guard by the simplicity of the gesture from someone like him, but you took it, telling him your own name. His much bigger hand was warm and calloused, shaking yours firmly before pulling away.
You stared at him intently, desperately trying to figure him out as you placed your cigarette between your lips and inhaled. It was hard to figure out what exactly his deal was - but, he was talking to you like you were an actual person, so that was at least a step above most of the people you’d waited on here.
When he finished rolling, he stuck the cigarette between his lips, then sighed.
“Shit - d’you have a light?”
You nodded, reaching into your handbag and pulling out your small blue lighter. He leaned in close, close enough that you could faintly smell his cologne, feel the heat radiating off of him in the cool May evening. It took a moment for the flame to catch, then he was leaning back and he took a drag, letting his eyes flutter shut.
You looked away quickly, staring at the street ahead. Your black cocktail dress didn’t offer much coverage, causing you to shiver slightly as a breeze picked up. It was Steve who broke the silence, after a few moments.
“I want to apologize, by the way - my, uh, colleagues… they’re assholes.”
You nearly choked at his words, whipping around to face him.
“I’m sorry… what?”
“I - I don’t know how much you heard in there, but -”
“I heard enough,” you said quickly.
His face fell, then hardened. He looked… angry? Or, perhaps disappointed.
“I really am sorry. I know I probably should have said something, but…Brenner’s my boss. And, there’s a lot of people who would kill to work for him. So, you have to understand… I mean, Tommy and Billy, they’re real jerks. I can’t stand them, most of the time. So, just know that if you want to punch them in the face, I’d understand.”
You laughed at that, shaking your head.
“Well, just between you and me, I do want to punch them. But… I would really like to keep my job, and actually get a good tip at the end of the night. So, if I can make it through the next -” you glanced at your watch, “- half an hour or so, I’ll be alright. I’m kind of used to it anyway, working here.”
You felt his eyes on you, but didn’t turn to meet his gaze. Then, he said more softly, “I’m sorry to hear that. Really.”
You shrugged.
“It’s fine. But, thank you - most people don’t take the time to say that, I guess.”
A moment of semi-awkward silence fell between you and him, before you added, “But, it’s good to know that I apparently have a nice ass.”
He laughed at that, choking on the smoke he was inhaling.
“Oh God - Billy and Tommy really are the worst. Did you hear that they actually were trying to make a bet about you in there?”
You raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued.
“What kind of bet?”
He suddenly broke eye contact, staring straight ahead as he shook his head vigorously.
“You know what - nevermind, you’d be disgusted -”
“Well now you have to tell me,” you conceded, inching closer. “C’mon, it can’t be that bad -”
“They said if I manage to get you to go home with me tonight, they’d agree on this huge deal with HNL that they’ve been trying to close with our European counterpart for months - they said it because they knew it wouldn’t happen, of course, I don’t really -”
“What would you get?” you asked bluntly.
“Huh?”
“If they thought you won the bet, like, would that be good for your job?”
He scoffs, nodding fervently.
“Um, yes - my yearly bonus would probably quadruple -”
“Then let’s do it,” you said.
His mouth fell open, and he was staring at you like you had three heads.
“Do what, exactly?”
He suddenly looked flushed, frozen in place as he stared at you. You felt a devilish grin spread on your face as you looked back at him, stubbing out the cigarette with the toe of your shoe.
“Here’s what we’re going to do, Harrington.”
*****
You had made sure he arrived back at the table only moments before you. The group of cajoling men were louder now, Tommy slurring his words and Billy in a heated debate with Brenner. Steve flashed a smile at the group, then started sipping his drink as if he had never left.
“What I’m saying is, if we offer them 14 percent -”
“Well, at that rate, we may as well sell them the whole goddamn company -”
“We’re going to have to budge at least a little if we want to make headway, otherwise Upside Tech might outbid us -”
“Harrington!” Tommy cried over the other two men. “Where th’hell ‘ave you been? You left me stranded with these two, they’re actually trying to work right now -”
Then, he spotted you, suddenly flashing a grin that was too wide for your liking.
“Mademoiselle - might I say, I think you’ve only gotten hotter since I last saw you -”
“That was only about twenty minutes ago,” Steve said firmly, cutting Tommy off. “Also, we’re in Italy, not France.”
Tommy waved him off, leaning closer across the table, towards where you stood.
“May I ask, how’re you getting home tonight, little lady?”
You just smiled.
“I’m actually so happy you brought that up - while I appreciate your concern and all, I’ve got that covered.”
You then turned to Steve, who froze in place.
“Ready to go, Steve?” you asked innocently.
All conversation stopped, then, the other men around the table stopped to gape at him. A smug smirk appeared on Steve’s face, and he stood up slowly, smoothing out his suit.
“Of course, sweetheart.”
Despite yourself, your heart fluttered at the pet name, as ridiculous as it felt.
“What?” Billy said, his jaw nearly on the floor.
But before they could ask any more questions, Steve was holding out his bent arm, which you graciously hooked yourself through. You pressed yourself into his side, flashing another grin back at the group.
“I’ve left your bill on the table - thank you gentlemen for a wonderful evening, and we hope to see you soon!”
Then Steve surveyed the table, adding, “I suspect you’ll be in touch about negotiation meetings shortly? Since that was the deal and all. I’ll see you at the office on Monday.”
Then, you and Steve turned a corner and headed out the door, to where a car was already waiting for you.
Steve gestured for you to go in ahead of him, opening the backseat door. You slid across, greeting the driver quickly and Steve followed, shutting the door behind you. The second it was closed, you both looked at each other, and burst into uncontrollable laughter.
“Oh my God - did you see their faces?”
“I’m going to live on that for years,” he added, fighting to breathe. You threw your head back, practically cackling at the memory of their dumbfounded expressions.
“That was amazing,” Steve said, regaining his composure. “Seriously, thank you.”
“Don’t mention it - I think I got off of it more than you.”
“I doubt that.”
You met his gaze, and your breath stopped for a moment. He really was handsome, his honey-brown eyes staring into yours with such sincerity that it was actually overwhelming. You looked away quickly, staring straight ahead.
“Well, if anything, it made my shift more interesting, so thanks,” you said, fiddling with your hands in your lap.
“Yeah, and you just made me my yearly bonus, so thank you.”
After a moment, he cleared his throat.
“So, uh, where do you live? So I can get you home.”
“Oh! Right,” you said. “Um, do you have any ID or anything?”
Steve furrowed his brow, confused.
“Why are you asking?”
“Look, don’t take this personally - I’ve watched way too much Criminal Minds in my life. And, while I’m sure you’re nice and all, I’m not exactly gonna tell a strange man I’ve never met where I live without some precautions. So, I’m going to take a picture of your ID and send it to my roommate, so she knows who to turn in if I end up on the news, yeah?”
Steve just smirked, and pulled out his wallet.
“So, you think I’m strange?”
You shrugged, fighting a smile.
“Obviously, yes.”
Steve chuckled softly, fishing his license out of his wallet.
“Fair enough - as long as you’re not trying to steal my identity or anything.”
“Oh, definitely,” you said sarcastically. “I was actually going to buy a mansion in your name, if that’s alright.”
He laughed, handing you the card as you took a photo. The address was in Indiana - interesting. He was also 30, judging from his birthday - nearly ten years older than you. Also interesting. You handed it back, shooting a quick text to Robin:
I’ll explain later, but in case I get murdered!
You attached the photo and pressed send.
Satisfied, you leaned forward, telling your address to the driver, who nodded and pulled onto the busy city street.
You leaned back in your seat, staring out the window. You passed dimly-lit alleyways and bustling restaurants, groups smoking on the sidewalk and couples kissing on benches as the evening started winding down. The silence in the car is comfortable enough, considering that you met the man beside you a few hours ago. It’s him who breaks the lull in conversation, once again.
“So, why did you do it?” he asked quietly.
“Hm?”
“The bet? Well, kind of - at least, why did you make it look like I - like we -”
You shrugged, shifting to face him.
“Honestly?”
He nodded, gaze fixed on you.
“Well - a few reasons, I guess. I knew it would get those jerks off of my back. And, I knew it would help you, with your bonus and all.”
“And why did you want to help me, though? You know nothing about me.”
“Not true,” you said firmly. “I know one thing.”
“And what’s that?”
“You’re kind.”
It was simple, but true - for the type of clientele you usually served, he was a rare breed. Maybe it wasn’t much, but it was something.
“I mean, you were nice to me, and actually treated me like a person. I can’t say that for a lot of people, not in that place.”
“Oh,” he said softly.
A beat. Two. Then, he added, “Oh no - I didn’t even ask, did you have a car, back at the restaurant? Because we can go back and get it -”
“No, don’t worry about it - I don’t have one. I usually take the bus.”
“Oh - alright.”
You tried to stop yourself from rolling your eyes - Steve probably wouldn’t be caught dead on a bus. Or any public transport, for that matter. But, you kept it within yourself, and turned out towards the window again - the sights were getting more familiar, the buildings a little more run-down - closer to home.
You noticed your phone light up in your lap, and glanced down - a response from Robin.
Um… congrats???? Getting laid???? You’d better tell me EVERYTHING!!!!
You laughed under your breath, and saw Steve move to look at you out of the corner of your eye, curious. Before you could respond to her message, the car came to a halt right outside of your apartment building. You sighed, and turned to face the man beside you.
“Well, this is me. Thank you. For the ride home, I mean - you didn’t really have to do that.”
“Of course I did,” Steve said, waving a hand. “Had to make sure you got home safely and all, it was the least I could do.”
You both looked at each other for a moment, faces soft. You shot him another appreciative smile, and popped open the car door.
“Goodnight, Steve Harrington. Until we meet again!”
You knew the chances of seeing him ever again were slim at best, but it felt like the right thing to say, given the hilarity of the situation. After slamming the door shut, you rooted through your bag for your keys, taking the steps up to your door two at a time. Before heading inside, you turned and waved to the car one more time - Steve wasn’t visible through the tinted windows, but you liked to imagine that he was waving back, maybe even smiling fondly.
******
Two days later, an envelope was pushed through the mail slot in your door. It was Robin who brought it in, plopping it down on the kitchen table as you sipped your coffee.
“What’s that?” you asked.
She shrugged, carding through the other envelopes and flyers.
“Don’t know. But, it’s made out to you. The envelope looks fancy though - I mean, who the Hell puts a wax seal on letters anymore?”
You felt your heart skip a beat, and snatched it up, turning it over in your hands - it was thick, the nice kind of stationary that you had to go out of your way to buy. There was a return address, but it seemed like it was for an office building of some kind, with no name associated. And, right on the center, a red wax seal with an H. You felt your face grow hot, your stomach doing somersaults as you practically tore the thing open.
Inside was a simple piece of paper with a note scrawled on it. After writing out your name, it read:
Thank you again, for the other night. You have no idea how much that helped me out. Plus, it was probably the best time I’ve had at a work event… well, ever. But, since you provided such great service… you really should be tipped appropriately. I also made sure to leave a glowing review with your manager the next day. Buy yourself something nice.
S.H.
You glanced back in the envelope, and gasped - loudly enough that Robin stopped what she was doing, and joined you in her awe.
“Is that -”
“Yeah,” you whispered. “It’s a shit ton of money.”
He had sent a stack of €100 notes - you hadn’t counted yet, but it had to be over €1,000, at least.
“Dude, that’s like, at least two months’ rent right there, right?” Robin asks, flabbergasted.
“I - yeah.”
“Okay, be honest - are you a drug dealer? Is that, like, a side gig you’ve got going?”
You shook your head incredulously, gripping the money - the most cash you had ever held at one time in your life.
“No,” you admitted. “That would be a lot easier to explain.” Steve Harrington, you thought to yourself, what’s your deal?
Notes: a brand new fic! A ton of credit goes to my friend Em, who indulges my fantasies and headcanons with plenty of ideas of her own. Also, I've never been to Rome, so bear with me here. Also, please always read content warnings before reading each part!
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Quiet
pairings - jimin x (f) reader
genre - smut
summary - fantasies are fun..but what happens when the guy you’ve been fantasizing about knocks on your door one night?
warnings - 18+ (Minors DNI), voyeurism (kinda but not really), oral (f) receiving, boy next door, unprotected sex (c’mon..just don’t.), (f) masturbation, mention of toys, teeny tiny bit of plot, tell me if I forgot something please
word count - 3.2k
a/n - not sure where this idea came from but…yeah..enjoy lmao
——————————————————————————
Long nights at work had become a regular thing for you lately. You worked as a bartender at a local bar that was right around the corner from your apartment and while the money was good and you enjoyed your job, the hours were starting to get to you.
So naturally, you had to find a way to unwind and decompress after a late shift. Sure, it was a guilty pleasure and everyone did it, but you'd be mortified if anyone knew.
It was a normal night, like every other night this week. You walked into your apartment around 11:30, purely exhausted. But the promise of relaxation that you knew was coming was always enough to get you through each night.
After you had showered and brushed your teeth, you got into your favorite lingerie set. It was a white, two-piece, lace set that hugged your curves beautifully and even though nobody but you ever saw it, it still made you feel sexy and confident.
You got in your bed like always, getting nice and comfortable in your black, satin sheets. You sat back against your pillow before reaching into your bedside drawer for your favorite vibrator.
It was a small, light blue, silicone vibrator that offered suction on ten different levels. You had made sure to charge it before you went to work today, so it would be ready for you when you got home.
You pressed the power button, the vibrator immediately roaring to life. You put it on the third-highest speed before bringing it down to your clit.
The suction immediately tugged at your nerves, sending shockwaves through your body.
"Fuck." You breathed, closing your eyes. This feeling never got old.
You laid there as you shamelessly began to imagine your neighbor in the apartment right next to yours.
Just like every night.
Jimin was beyond attractive. The two of you had previously had brief conversations before, but nothing more than casual small talk between neighbors. That's how you played it off, anyway.
If he knew what thoughts actually went on in your head when you talked to him, he would probably never look at you again- let alone speak to you.
But you couldn't help it. Your imagination went crazy every time you saw him.
His lips looked like they were handcrafted specifically for him. They were so plump and looked softer than silk. You couldn't help but imagine them against your skin, kissing you slowly, everywhere, over and over.
His eyes were soft, yet intense at the same time. He wasn't very tall but he always dressed like God himself was going to come walking into the room at any given moment.
You moaned out loud for the first time as you let your imagination fully take over. Thoughts of Jimin taking place of the vibrator, letting his tongue explore you, making you feel incredible.
You imagined him running his hands along your body, squeezing and gripping at your skin as he fucked his tongue into you. Constant moans and gasps fell from your lips as you felt yourself getting closer and and closer to your climax.
The vibrator continued to pull and tug at your clit, building your orgasm quickly. You could feel the tension in your lower abdomen getting tighter and tighter.
"Jimin." You moaned again, completely engulfed in your fantasy as you gripped at your left breast with your free hand.
Your body stilled, only your thighs shaking lightly as your orgasm ripped through you. It was a feeling of pure bliss that you would never get tired of.
You laid there for a few seconds as your breathing slowly regulated and reality began to smolder your imagination once again.
Once you had finally come down, you got up and wrapped a silk robe around your body before going to clean yourself up. You took your toy with you, making sure to clean it properly also before heading back to your bedroom.
As you made your way back down the hallway, you heard a very light knocking at your front door.
"Who the fuck?" You whispered, glancing at the clock on the wall.
It was after midnight. Who would be knocking on your door this late?
You lightly tiptoed to the door, making sure to be silent just in case you didn't want the mysterious visitor to know you were awake. You glanced out of the peephole on your apartment door, a soft gasp escaping your lips.
It was none other than Park Jimin himself, standing in front of your door.
You clutched at your robe, eyes wide as you processed what was going on. You held your vibrator behind your back and finally opened the door, peeking out slightly at him.
"Oh, hey y/n." He said with a low, husky voice as he turned to look at you. It made the hair on the back of your neck stand up.
"Um, hey Jimin. Is everything okay? It's after midnight, what are you doing up?" You asked.
"I could ask you the same thing." He replied, eyes traveling down your somewhat exposed body.
He seemed like he was nervous about something. Anxious, but in control of his emotions nonetheless. Even still, his eyes never left your body.
You blushed as you looked him over. He was wearing a pair of black sweatpants and a gray, long sleeve, v-neck t-shirt that exposed his glorious collarbones. His hair was messy, yet his lucious, dark hair looked perfect. He was breathtaking.
"Well, as I’ve told you before, I work long nights so it's actually normal for me to be up this late." You huffed.
He stared at you, one eyebrow raised as he smirked. He swiped his tongue over his bottom lip before biting it lightly. You were absolutely screaming on the inside.
"Can I ask you something?" He asked, leaning closer until he rested his weight against your doorframe.
You hesitated, squinting your eyes at him. You would never admit it, but he intimidated the fuck out of you. You shifted your weight to one leg, eyeing him carefully.
"Sure."
He grinned that beautiful smile that you swooned for, his eyes turning to sweet crescents.
"Are you alone in there?" He nodded behind you, toward your silent apartment.
You looked behind you, confusion plastered across your face.
"Yes?" You answered in a questioning tone. "Why?"
He giggled almost silently, looking down at his feet briefly. He looked back up at you, his smile quickly fading.
"So, there's not another Jimin in there?"
You furrowed your brow in frustration at his antics before widening your eyes in realization.
He must have heard you calling his name while you were "decompressing" earlier. You swallowed harshly, staring at him as you thought of what to say next.
"I...don't know what you mean."
He giggled again, taking another step toward you. He glanced around the doorframe nonchalantly, his hands running down the sides slowly as he continued on.
"These walls are awfully thin, y/n."
You held your breath, looking carefully at him as he stood so incredibly close to you. His cologne practically radiated off of him, smelling of fresh linen as it intoxicated you.
"So tell me. Is that supposed to be me?" He asked, looking down at your hands.
You followed his gaze, looking down at your hands to see that you were now clutching your vibrator in front of you. You gasped as you put it behind your back again quickly. You could feel the heat flooding your cheeks.
"What do you want, Jimin?" You asked, trying to sound confident and brave. Your voice shook slightly, giving away the fact that you were actually about to melt completely.
"Truthfully?" He took one more step closer, his body nearly pressed against yours. He put his hand up to the side of your face, running his thumb gently over your cheek. His lips were so close to yours, letting them brush against each other ever so lightly. You had to hold back the urge to kiss him.
"I want to show you that I can make you scream louder than that piece of plastic can."
You swallowed harshly, hesitating. You didn't want to admit that you had been fantasizing about him, but he already knew.
Fuck it.
You bit your bottom lip before reaching for the hem of his shirt. He immediately brought his hands to your waist as he stepped inside your apartment, kicking the door closed behind him. He pinned you against the wall, pulling the toy from your hand and tossing it to the ground. He watched you with dark eyes, his breathing slightly rapid.
"You should really learn to be quiet, baby." He purred, smirking at you.
You giggled before taking his hand and leading him down the hallway toward your bedroom, swinging your hips as you walked.
As soon as you stepped into your bedroom, Jimin turned you to face him. He wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling your body close to his. He stared intently into your eyes as he ran his thumb slowly across your bottom lip, tugging just barely.
"Can I please kiss you?" He whispered, not taking his eyes off of your lips.
"Yes." You breathed, ready to let his lips melt into yours.
No other words were spoken before he leaned down to close the distance between the two of you. He kissed you desperately, as if he had been waiting for this moment just as long as you had. He wasted no time slipping his tongue into your mouth, taking the time to slip your robe off of your body and onto the floor in the process.
"Get on the bed, baby." He instructed quietly, pulling away from your lips.
You did as you were told, scooting backwards on the bed as you kept eye contact with him.
Jimin watched you carefully as he pulled his T-shirt over his head, exposing his toned torso. Your mouth watered as your eyes roamed his flawless skin.
He climbed onto the bed with you, crawling toward you like a predator that had finally caught his prey. He licked his lips as he eyed your lace-clad curves.
"Can I kiss you again?" He purred, hooking his fingers around the band of your panties as he ran his tongue along the inside of your thighs.
"Please." You responded, beginning to feel needy.
He grinned, pulling your lace down your legs and off of you completely. He licked his lips slowly at the sight of your glistening core, wet and ready for him.
"So pretty." He groaned before letting his lips dive into your folds.
Your back arched at the warmth of his tongue, a low moan leaving your lips. Jimin moved his tongue expertly through your folds, finding it's way to your clit.
He looked up at you with hooded eyes before letting his tongue dance in circles around your bundle of nerves. Your hands made a plunge for his hair, tugging lightly as a small cry erupted from your throat.
"Jimin."
He grinned as he continued working you, bringing a finger to your entrance as his tongue continued its work. He let his middle finger slowly enter you, not once stopping his tongue.
You were nothing but moans and gasps as Jimin worked you so perfectly. You felt yourself getting close to your climax as he continued.
"You taste so fucking good, baby." He hummed from below you. He sped up his movements in and out of your core, adding another finger and curving them upwards until he found the spot that would have you running from him.
"Fuck!" You moaned, throwing your head back.
He continued watching you, wanting to see your face of pleasure when you came. His lips attached to your clit once more, flitting his tongue repeatedly until he felt you tightening around his fingers.
"Fuck yes, baby. Just like that. You're doing so well." He praised, sending deep vibrations through your pussy as he encouraged your orgasm. It was just enough to send you over the edge.
"Cumming." Was all you could manage to squeak out.
Jimin grinned, slowing his movements just barely so you could ride out every second of your climax. He watched you with lust filled eyes, your back arched, toes curled, and eyes closed as you came down.
His cock was harder than it had ever been as he watched you. Sure, he had heard you through the wall countless times- imagining what you looked like, what faces you made, how you tasted. But his imagination didn't have shit on what he was witnessing.
He pulled his fingers out of you as he slowly crawled the rest of the way towards you, leaving soft, sensual kisses up your body along the way.
The buzz of your high was fading and every touch of his lips on your skin sent aftershocks of pleasure coursing through your body. His fingers trailed up your thigh before making their way up your sides, giving you chills on every inch of your skin.
"Jimin." You whined, the tenderness in his touch beginning to be too much.
"Hm?" He hummed in a low, gravelly voice that made your nerves stand on end. He hovered over you, his head tilting slightly as he looked down at you with a smirk. His hardened cock begged for relief through his thin sweats.
You reached for the band of his sweatpants, eager to please him. He stopped you, grabbing your wrist gently. You looked at him, confused.
"You don't want me to-"
"Oh, I want you to. Believe me. But your pleasure is my only goal tonight." He responded, his thick lips turning into a half smirk.
You blushed, turning your head to the side. How could someone be so sweet but so hot at the same time?
Jimin pulled his sweats off of his body, making your eyes widen at how big he was. He ran one hand through his hair before lining himself up with your entrance. He leaned down, pausing before he continued.
"Will you let me fuck you?" He whispered, his lips only inches away from yours.
You nodded, desperate to feel him inside of you. He grinned a small, sexy smile that made your stomach flip. It quickly faded, his face turning serious as he slowly began to push into you.
Your jaw went slack, loving the burn of the stretch as your pussy wrapped around him.
"Fuck." He growled. He slowly sunk deeper and deeper into you until his hips met yours. You both let out sharp breaths, neither of you moving for a moment as you got used to the feeling of him.
Jimin leaned down and buried his face into your neck as he kissed your skin, slowly swirling his tongue in circles . You craned your neck to the side, your eyes rolling back at the feeling of the weight of his cock resting inside of you.
As if reading your mind, Jimin began slowly rocking his hips into yours, still sucking at your neck. You let out a soft moan as he started moving.
"Mmm, don't hold back baby. Let me hear you."
He snapped his hips quickly, making you gasp. He pulled his torso away from you, leaning back as he stayed inside of you. His hands gripped at your waist, raising your hips slightly from the bed.
"Do you have any idea how good you feel?" He growled lowly, pulling your hips onto his cock as he shallowly bounced into you. You could only moan in response. You had never felt like this. Words wouldn't form in your brain.
Jimin began picking up his pace, unable to hold back anymore. That sinful look had returned to his eyes as he moved in and out of you. His tongue poked into his cheek as he focused on how good you felt.
Just as you felt your climax building, he stopped abruptly. Your eyes fluttered open in frustration as you whipped your head in his direction.
"Don't worry. I know what I'm doing." He grinned. "Turn over."
You hesitated, already completely fucked out for this man, but willing to do whatever he asked of you. You turned over, laying flat on your stomach.
Jimin let out a deep groan, gripping your ass in both of his hands. He sunk into you effortlessly, not stopping to let you adjust this time. He hovered his body over your back, one arm propping himself up on one side of you as he thrusted his cock into you repeatedly. His other hand gripped at the bend of your hip, pulling your ass toward him to meet his thrusts.
"How does it feel, baby?" He cooed, panting quietly right next your ear as his cock worked you.
"So fucking good." You moaned, gripping at the sheets beneath you.
Realization suddenly set in as you listened to the moans of the man behind you.
Park Jimin was in your apartment, fucking you like there was no tomorrow. How did your fantasy come to life so quickly? And how was it better than anything your mind could have ever imagined?
Your back began to arch as you felt that familiar sensation building at your core. You heard Jimin let out a breathy moan as you squeezed around him. You felt his cock throb with excitement as he started pounding into you mercilessly.
"Fuck, Jimin!"
"That's right baby, tell everyone who's pussy this is." He grunted, slamming into you.
You bounced harshly into the mattress with each slam of his hips, your moans getting louder and louder. You listened as your headboard knocked against the wall, only encouraging Jimin to go faster as his continuous moans mixed with yours.
You felt yourself let go, feeling your body cross over as the heat of your climax consumed you. Your pussy contracted repeatedly, tightening around Jimin.
"I'm gonna cum, baby. This pussy’s gonna make me fucking cum." He grunted harshly, thrusting a few more times before pulling out of you. He pumped his cock slowly as you felt the warmth of his cum release on your ass.
The two of you sat still for a moment, breathing rapidly before Jimin got up and found his way to your bathroom. He returned with a towel, cleaning you up in the most gentle way possible. You smiled at the sweet gesture.
He put the towel in your laundry bin and returned to lay on the bed beside you. You grinned at how comfortable he seemed to be in your apartment.
"I've been wanting to do that since I moved in next door, you know." He said, laying on his back with his hands behind his head. He looked over at you and smiled before reaching over to pull you close to him.
"Yeah, me too." You admitted, snuggling up next to him. "Let's do it more often."
"You don't have to tell me twice, love."
The two of you laid there quietly, listening to each other breathing along with the soft sound of the clock ticking on the wall. Jimin giggled quietly after a few minutes.
"What's funny?" You asked.
"Oh, nothing." He kissed the top of your head.
"But I told you I could make you scream louder than that toy could."
#bangtan#bangtan smut#Jimin#Jimin smut#park Jimin#jimin x reader#kpop#kpop imagines#drabble#brain rot#chxnsdrive
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More personal shit under the cut
I’m so fucking pissed right now. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect that at least part of my vacation should be spent relaxing, right? At minimum, one full day should have been free. But because my family has delusions of living out some city-person-ass farmer fantasy, instead I spend the entire week driving up the country for eight hours, boiling down maple sap into syrup, fixing up a shitty chicken coop, hauling heavy shit around, tossing cover crop into muddy fields during pouring rain, doing dishes that no one else can seem to be assed to do, and then drive eight more hours back home just in time to go back to my actual job. And on top of all that, I’m supposed to pretend like I’m excited for the most shitty half-assed birthday party imaginable where I get handed book 3 of a series that I’ve never heard of in my life. I am literally going to burn that book. No joke, I am going to put it with all the brush in my backyard that I could have been getting rid of if I didn’t have to put up with my family’s bullshit, And I am going to burn it. I have never burned a book before in my life and normally I would find the concept appalling, but right now it sounds like the only reasonable form of catharsis available to me. Because I can’t scream at them, I can’t shout at them, because then I’m the one who’s overreacting! I’m already the one who “didn’t get my nap today” and obviously that’s the only reason why I’m so cranky, it’s not at all because I’m in actual physical pain from lugging around too-heavy bags of seed or because the one thing I actually wanted to do with my family (play a single fucking game of Illimat) never happened. No. Obviously I’m cranky because I didn’t get my nap. As though I didn’t try, because I know better than any of these assholes just how screwed over I’m going to be when I have to adjust back from days to the night shift. As if I’m not the one who was told the wrong days to take off so that I spent ten days working in a row for no reason, and now I’m getting screwed on the other end as well. It’s infuriating. And all of it, all of it, has to stay inside or only come out in tiny little joking complaints. Because anything else would be too much and would become a whole thing where everyone else gets to tell me that they’ve had it worse, actually, and really they worked much harder than I did, and blah blah blah blah blah. As if I weren’t the only one who doesn’t actually give a shit about this nonsense farm vacation house. I’d be perfectly content taking my every vacation from here till forever as a staycation, but no. The family wants to raise and slaughter chickens, and make their own maple syrup, and have a tiny orchard of fruit trees, even if all of those cost more in supplies alone— not even the time and labor— than would be spent on just buying those products at a grocery store. And so here I am. Lying in bed, waiting to go home so I can go back to work with barely a day of rest, stewing and venting on the internet because nowhere else is available. Fuck. Fuck this, fuck them, fuck it all.
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care
“Is this really necessary?”
Cyno’s voice reverberated in the quiet bathroom broken only by the sound in the old pipes and the occasional sloshing of water whenever he or Alhaitham moved or shifted in the bathtub.
Cyno was forbidden from moving too much though and had to lean forward and hunch so Alhaitham could have more room to work, combing through the mess of knots and tangles of his hair with a thin comb and his own fingers.
That left Cyno with nothing to do and he felt bored even if the sensation of Alhaitham’s hands in his hair was always nice.
“Yes.” Alhaitham simply said and Cyno felt a few gentle tugs in quick succession where a particularly bad knot formed and Alhaitham took special care to untangle it as gently as possible.
Cyno thought it was sweet but also a waste of both their time.
“I need to get all the blood and fungi residue out.”
Cyno could just imagine the way his nose scrunched at the mention of the latter. It was the same face he made when Cyno came back from his recon mission just a few hours ago and Alhaitham almost passed out when he saw him, all dirty and filthy but he still grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him into the bathroom without a word.
He was mostly clean now, except for his hair which unfortunately suffered a bit from him crawling in filthy tunnels and then when he encountered a strange species of exploding fungi which stained everything in smelly and slimy substance.
The blood was not his.
Cyno sighed and cupped his hands in the bath, lifted them up and let the water trickle down. His fingertips were getting pruny and the water was now only lukewarm and uncomfortable but Alhaitham insisted on fusing with his hair.
They took separate showers and now were in his spacious bath together and Alhaitham was meticulously working on the knots one by one.
“It’s just hair.” Cyno shrugged. “It would be easier to just cut it off. It will grow out anyway.”
Alhaitham didn’t dignify this with a response and Cyno had to roll his eyes.
“What? Not interested?” He teased, turning his head a bit and forcing Alhaitham to stop his combing.
“Knowing your fetish, you might even prefer this more.” He ran a hand over his nape pointedly while saying this. Cyno couldn’t really see Haitham’s face but he could imagine the way his brow furrowed and his lips tensed.
He was rewarded by a bigger hand grabbing the top of his head and forcing Cyno to look straight ahead.
“Maybe if you are ready to bear the consequences of distracting me from my job.”
Cyno snorted.
“You say like you don’t enjoy being distracted from your job usually.”
Alhaitham didn’t say anything again but Cyno knew he was smiling, a small little uplift of his lips.
“Done.” He said after a moment and for good measure ran his hand though Cyno’s hair once more from the top of his head to the tips.
“Finally.” Cyno breathed but then shivered when something cold and slimy was dumped onto his head.
“What’s that?”
“Hair mask.”
Cyno frowned.
“What for?”
“To regenerate your hair.” Alhaitham said as his deft, long fingers massaged it in skillfully.
Cyno let out another long-suffering sigh. He was getting restless.
“Alhaitham.” He warned but it sounded closer to a whine.
“Cyno.” Alhaitham mocked him back and then brushed his hair to the side and over his shoulder and dropped a kiss to his exposed nape.
Cyno gasp and sloshed some of the water over the rim of the tub.
“All done.” There was a smirk hidden against his skin.
“Good.” Cyno said ready to stand up, but a hand around his waist kept him in place.
“What now?” He didn’t bother to hide his irritation.
“You need to wait ten to fifteen minutes and then rinse it. And then wash your hair.”
“Again?” Cyno sputtered. “You already did that.”
“It doesn’t hurt to do it again.”
Cyno was quiet for a moment.
“You just wanna keep me in the bath.”
Alhaitham shifted with a huff.
“Maybe.” He forced Cyno to lean back against his chest and rest his head on Alhaitham’s shoulder.
“But mostly I want you to shut up and let yourself be cared for.”
Cyno paused, not really having a good comeback to this, so he closed his mouth with a click of his teeth and turned his head to the side so Alhaitham couldn’t see his face.
“Do what you want.” He murmured and let himself relax more, even if the water lost all its warmth by now.
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Lead and Gold 1.
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Reader
Genre: mafia!au, smut and fluff
Warnings: swearing, blood, smut eventually
Word count: 2891
There were a lot of gossips about your superior, Doctor Jung’s secret works, where he invited surgeon residents to his private clinic to help him out. Afterwards, no one talked a word about it. Then, your time came. He took you there too, and you did your best to do exactly what your job was in the hospital: saving people’s lives. You just didn’t know who’s life it was this time.
Next
“Done already?”
Doctor Jung leaned on the wall next to the changing room. He looked down on you with half lidded eyes. He changed into jeans and a t-shirt, although you left the operating room at the same time. It seemed like you still had a lot to learn from him apart from saving other people’s lives.
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. Get yourself together, and meet me at the parking lot in ten minutes.”
The excitement and panic formed a little lump in your throat. You held the strap of your bag tighter, then put it on your shoulder and nodded. Doctor Jung pushed himself away from the green-painted wall, and with long steps, went to the main building. You looked after him in disbelief.
The surgeon residents gossiped a lot about ‘Jung’s secret missions’. Everyone called them that, because no one really knew what they truly were, and the ones who did, refused to speak – some of them acted like they didn’t know what you were talking about, and others… Well, they quit and left the hospital after a couple of weeks.
It was a regular topic of gossip, and it made you more and more curious, but never in your life did you imagine that one day he will choose you as the next helper of his ‘secret missions’. Most of the time you brushed the thoughts of it aside, thinking that all those residents helped him in his private practice at his own clinic, but during work-hours it was bugging you that if you work hard enough, he will choose you too. So you worked hard and a lot, even if it made damages in your private life. Men didn’t appreciate that you rather spend your free time stitching people up than spending some alone time with them. But you tried not to go too overboard; a tired resident isn’t helpful to anyone.
The cold air crawled under your thin clothes as you stepped out of the hospital. The parking lot was empty; it was way past the time of the shift change. It already happened two hours ago, you only stayed longer because there was some complications during the last surgery you did with Doctor Jung.
He waited for you by his car. He smoked a cigarette, exhaling white clouds of smoke when you reached him. You frowned at the bitter smell. He noticed it too, and made him smirk knowingly. He pointed his cigarette at you.
“If you work well tonight, and accept the job, then you have to get used to it.”
He took one last drag of cigarette, then flick it to the ground. At least he put out the tiny flame by stepping on it. Gesturing you to get in the car, he did the same.
The car smelled of fast food, and there was some oily, gasoline-like smell in the air too. It was pointless to look around, you couldn’t find the source of it; everything looked neat and clean. You put your bag to your feet.
The black car looked old from the outside, but the inside was a very different story. The console, the seats, everything was shiny and new. When the doctor started it, the motor basically purred like a cat. You got out of the parking lot fine. You watched the streets you took, so you could remember it all perfectly. If you’ll end up like all those other residents, at least you wanted to remember every detail of that night.
“Where do we go exactly?”
Your voice sounded weak even to you.
“My private clinic. I have a patient, who needs help different times of the day. He wants discretion, so you have to sign a non disclosure agreement.”
“And if I don’t sign it?”
Doctor Jung slowed down very smoothly. He took a quick glance at you, and the look in his eyes made you sink deeper in the seat than the previous fast speed. You swallowed nervously. You looked out of the window, watching the city lights slowly going by then appearing again, as you waited for him to answer.
“Then, you better tell me now. I don’t want to run pointless circles, if you are not willing to help. So will you sign it or not?”
You shivered, goosebumps appearing on your arms. His tone was low and serious. Your fingers dipped into the cushion of the seat. You had a bad feeling about it; how could you sign an NDA when you had no idea what your job would be?
But your curiosity proved to be stronger than your rationality.
“You don’t perform illegal euthanasia, right?” He laughed heartily at that. As if it was the most ridiculous thing he ever heard, but it made sense to you. What else would he want to hide that bad? Did he experimented on dead bodies, or what?
“I don’t do anything illegal. Well, not the kind you’re thinking about. I save lives, just as I do in the hospital.”
The car still went really slow and close to the pavement. Doctor Jung was ready to stop the car whenever you open your mouth and say no to his offer. You felt lucky that you still were in the city, not somewhere in the middle of nowhere.
You wanted to say no, but your curiosity got the best out of you.
“That’s still not a good reason for being so secretive about everything. But fine, I sign whatever you want me to.”
“Great!” The car finally sped up, the motor started to purr again. “We’ll see how you perform tonight, and whether he likes your work or not. Then he decides if he wants you in on long-term. I don’t think there will be any problem, you always give your best.”
His phone buzzed in a slow rhythm in his pocket, but he didn’t reach for it, which you really appreciated. You didn’t want to die because of a phone call. His gaze got darker, eyebrows furrowed.
You let yourself melt into the seat for the rest of the ride, enjoying the silence and the speed of the car. Doctor Jung appeared to be a good driver, he controlled the car smoothly and with experience. If he did in fact drove bad, you definitely got out of the car when you had a chance, and would took the bus to his private clinic.
The buzzing stopped. Doctor Jung changed gears and drove faster. You didn’t enjoy that much. You didn’t know him well enough to know if he had good reflexes in emergency. Of course, he reacted good in the operating room when unforeseen complications happened, but a car accident was an entirely other story.
Your finger dig deep into your jeans-covered thighs, your knuckles turned white.
“Looks like I’m gonna get scolded,” he murmured under his breath, when his phone started to buzz again. It stopped just in time for you to arrive to your destination. There was two black cars parked outside, both of them black, fancy and expensive looking.
Two men, dressed in all black, standing on each side of the door; they looked like they didn’t belong there. Both of them kept looking around their surroundings, eyes resting on you when you got out of the car, then after a quick glance at Doctor Jung too, they continued look around again. Well, they didn’t act suspicious at all!
Doctor Jung ignored the questioning looks you gave him, and went into the clinic. You followed him, being very aware of the two other men’s presence. They didn’t move or looked at you again as you walked into the building.
It wasn’t well lit in there. The waiting area with the front desk was dark, lights only came from a somewhere down the corner. You caught a glimpse of a shadow going that way, and you assumed it was Doctor Jung – who else could it be? –, so you went after him, the shadows swallowing you for a few steps, then you arrived to a bright corridor.
A couple of doors littered here and there, but your attention went on the two men standing in front of one. The one dressed in all black, just like the other two outside, frowned at Doctor Jung and supported the other one, holding him up by his waist. He was pale, eyes too shiny to be healthy, and he looked like… Well, he looked exactly like a pimp from the 1960’s, but with a little more stylish clothes.
“You’re late. I thought we agreed, you come as fast as you can,” said the black clothed one. He had blonde hair, and he didn’t look happy as Doctor Jung just shrugged at his words.
“I had to get an assistant surgeon. I can’t just take out bullets alone, hoping nothing goes wrong and I won’t need help.”
As he spoke, your eyes slightly grew wider at the bullets part. You scanned over the pimp-like man. You noticed two blood patches on his clothes, they were probably caused by the mentioned bullets. One around his left shoulder, and the other one on his left thigh. There wasn’t so much blood on his black jeans, so you assumed the bullet didn’t hit any important artery in there. Otherwise you would have to deal with him blacking out and probably die from blood loss.
You moved automatically when Doctor Jung opened the door. The two stranger men followed after you.
It was a big operating room. In the middle of it there was a table surrounded with machines for surgeries. The cleaning are was in the left corner, another door next to it. Doctor Jung pointed at the door, and said:
“The NDA’s on my desk. Quickly sign it, then get washed in, I’ll prepare the surgery until then.”
You nodded, and did as you were told. You signed the paper, but only after reading it. It didn’t say anything specific, only things like: you can’t talk about whatever happens at the private clinic, it has to be kept a secret even if you want out of it. It didn’t stated, but suggested that if you run your mouth and tell it someone, there will be serious consequences. You felt a heavy rock growing in your stomach, as you thought about the two men outside the building and the pimp with his other man. You had a hunch they weren’t on the good side of the law.
Signing the NDA, then taking one of the white coats from the hanger next to the door and putting it on; you were ready to do your job. Because that’s what it was. A simple job. You were gonna do just what Doctor Jung said in the car: you’re going to save lives like you do in the hospital. It’s not different.
You heaved a sigh, and went back to the operating room. Doctor Jung were already washed in: coat, mask and plastic gloves on, and were cutting the pimp’s clothes off around his chest and shoulder, then his left thigh. He was laying on his back, nose scrunching in pain. The other man was standing at the door, intensely watching the doctor doing his job. He wasted a glance at you, face not changing when you nodded at him. You didn’t know why you did that, but he didn’t return it.
Doctor Jung gestured with the scissor to the cleaning area, nodding his head to make you move faster. So you did.
As you washed your hands and put on a pair of plastic gloves, your mind quickly changed into work-mode. You only focused on the task at hand. Watching the heart monitor. Handing Doctor Jung the tools he asked for. Notifying him about the patient’s condition. Listening the his little talk with the pimp.
He always did that during surgery. Well, not with the patients because in the hospital you were dealing with them being in anesthesia, but usually he was talking to someone: mostly a nurse, you, or the other residents.
You learned to tune out when he started to talk about things not related to the surgery. You heard his every word, but just forget the stuff you didn’t need to know. This time you payed close attention to their talking, because you knew so little about the situation, the patient, and you were hungry for answers. Why did a pimp got shot, and why did he came to Doctor Jung?
“How many of your men do we have to patch up this time?” the doctor asked.
“Only me.” He closed his eyes in pain, and you remembered how he refused to get anesthetic-shot or painkiller, because they made him numb. “I only took a walk around Han River, and that bastard shot me.”
“They missed though.”
“I won’t.” The man standing at the door had a deep, raspy voice, not matching the neutral expression on his face. He said it casually, but he sounded angry and determined.
The pimp grinned. Your breath hitched at the sight: he looked devilish and…
“Heartbeat increasing fast,” you announced after a few minutes of silence.
“Start working on the leg, while I stitch the shoulder,” Doctor Jung instructed, and you nodded.
You kept an eye on the heart rate monitor while you cleaned up the area around the wound on the thigh, but blood kept coming from the hole. You realized that you both underestimated this one, so you had to work as fast as you could. Picking up the clip you started to dig into the hole, looking for the bullet. His body jerked at the feeling, causing more pain than necessary.
“Donghae, hold him down,” said Doctor Jung, but either of you stopped working on your tasks.
The pimp’s body flinched once again when you finally felt the hardness of the bullet and tried to catch and take it out. There was a lot of blood coming from the wound, you couldn’t see what you were doing, only knew that you finally had a strong grip on the bullet and started to pull it out with the clip.
Another glove-covered hand came into your view, as you caught a sight of the tiny bullet, and it cleaned up some of the blood, then started to prepare it for stitching up.
The bullet fell next to the other one on a metal plate with a knock, and your sigh was just as loud.
“Good job, Y/N! How is his heart?”
“Went back to normal. Everything looks fine.”
Now you noticed how the pimp had his eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed, and the man, who’s name turned out to be Donghae, had the same expression on, except he kept darting his eyes between Doctor Jung and you.
“Good. The bleeding slowed down by now.”
“We good then, huh?” The pimp asked, and at last you took a look at his face.
He had a small tattoo under his left eye, which looked like an ‘X’, but the two lines of it were curved a little. His eyes were dark brown, almost black, shiny and big as he opened them. Black hair a mess, getting longer and longer around the top of his head. Suddenly he looked at you, then after a long pause, stared at Doctor Jung, who just finished with sewing the wound. Almost friendly, he patted his bare knee right under the fresh wound.
“Hope you got something to change into.”
After changing gloves and washing you hands, you made yourself useful by dressing the wound with some gauze.
“Just give me a coat, and I’ll be fine.”
You did your best not to look at anywhere else on his body than the wounds. From the corner of your eyes saw him looking at you when you tended to the one on his shoulder. There were tattoos littered on his chest and arms and hands, some on his leg; and there were scars. Lots of scars.
Pressing your lips tightly together, the numbness from focusing solemnly on your job subsided, your mind started to run thousand miles and hour.
You already sewed some pieces of information together. You were pretty sure that pimp-like man was some kind of gangster, probably important enough if he had bodyguards around him, and someone wanted him dead.
“Are we done?” You asked quietly, not liking all the attention you got from the three men.
“Yes, I’ll drive you home after I cleaned up here.”
“Destroying evidence?” You joked, even allowed yourself to smile. But they didn’t smile with you.
“Exactly.”
There was stunned silence. It broke when the pimp-man groaned and tried to sit up. Donghae immediately rushed to him, grabbing his good shoulder and helping him off the operating table.
“She’s in. Explain her how things are going around here,” he moaned painfully and stopped for a minute. “Oh, god, it hurts like a bitch! At least the bastard had the balls to stand in front of me, not just shot me in the back.”
Doctor Jung ignored his talking, and started to clean up. You helped him sterilizing the tools and table, wiping blood off of everything. You were happy, you didn’t feel the two other men’s gaze on you, and after a few long seconds, you heard them slowly walk out of the room.
#super junior#super junior smut#super junior fanfic#eunhyuk#eunhyuk fanfic#eunhyuk smut#lead and gold
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Ice, Ice, Baby
in which, during that time of the month, you lay awake at night craving ice and coffee, prompting eren to take you for a late night drive.
eren jaeger x fem reader.
You sighed for what felt like the millionth time, rolling over in bed once more. Painkillers had done their job. The cereal before bed had done its, too. Eren holding your hand loosely, stretched out across the bed, had done its job in helping you relax in your own sort of space. But there was just one thing keeping you up, so desperate you could have cried. It made you restless, and was beginning to get frustrating.
Cravings.
Breath exhaled from your mouth in one deep intake and one sharp exhale. Eren sighed slowly, and you paused, worried you’d woken him. You hadn’t even thought about how your restlessness might have interrupted his sleep, too.
“I love you,” he muttered groggily. “But please go to sleep.”
“I’d love to,” you whispered back, facing him in the dark. “Just can’t.”
“Why?”
“Cravings.” You felt yourself growing agitated.
Neither of you had been in bed for long, an hour at most. Even then you’d only gone up at eight o’clock, him tired from work and cold from the night air, you from fatigue. At latest, you thought it might have been approaching ten o’clock.
Rolling over onto his back, you heard him take a tiny breath of air. You could imagine him as he always lay; bed covers just over his stomach, toned arms laying gently there too, eyes closed. “What are you craving, then?”
Even speaking the word almost made your teeth itch. “Ice. The crushed kind that you can chew easily.”
“You want to sit and eat ice? At this time of night?” Humour rang in his tone, and you frowned. “You’re not pregnant, right?”
“Yes, I want to sit and eat ice. And coffee. Cold coffee. You don’t get it, Eren—”
He chuckled under his breath, and you felt the bed shift. “Come on, then.”
The sudden flicking on off the lamp on Eren’s bedside table made you squint your eyes in sudden shock, trying to adjust. You observed him pushing the covers back, feet on the floor, rubbing his eyes. Your own exhausted ones followed his movements, walking to the dresser across the room to take out a pair of sweatpants and a tee. He threw you the loose yoga pants and hooded sweater you’d left on top of the dresser.
Sitting up, you wondered aloud, “Where are we going?”
His eyes couldn’t have been more tired, or his movements more sluggish, but the gentle look on his face, the careful hands pulling your hoodie down for you when you just couldn’t be bothered—avoiding the aching parts, ahem—it at all told you he didn’t mind. Or maybe he just wanted to get some sleep, and he couldn’t do that with you tossing and turning for ice.
“To get iced coffee.”
The good thing about living in a booming city was that it never slept. While you’d been settled in bed for an hour and a half now, there were people just on their way home from work, or out driving, or drinking in bars. Of course it wasn’t as busy as it always was during the daytime, but it wasn’t far off it.
Luckily for you, this meant grocery stores were open, and coffee chains, too.
Pulling up outside the Starbucks coffee house, Eren parked up and the two of you exited the car, your eyes practically lighting up at the sight of the lights and warm decor of the building. But the crave for coffee wouldn’t settle until it was actually in your system.
Warm air and the smell of coffee beans hit your senses the second you pushed open the door, your boyfriend close behind. As if in a dream, Eren guided you to the counter. An iced latte, no syrup or add-ins, just pure, cold coffee to go. Eren had a cake pop and a hot chocolate. And you paid halves.
“You wanna sit in?” He asked, nodding to a small corner over by a window where you could see the car in the distance. Yes was on the edge of your tongue, but upon taking a second glance at Eren, you ran your eyes along the circles beginning to darken around his own eyes, and you shook your head consequently. “Alright. Bag of ice, next?”
You nodded firmly. “Bag of ice, it is.”
Buckled in, Eren took brief sips of his drink as he drove with one hand. Despite doing all this, he looked calm, even when you apologised.
“Not like you can help it, really, right?” He shrugged. “I wouldn’t fancy bleeding from my—”
And, well, you get the gist of how the conversation went.
The two of you practically rushed around the store in search of ice, finding it at the very back and bottom of a freezer, a small pack charged for €4.50. As if in a tv show to win prizes, you slammed it on the counter with a tight smile, paid for it by card, and dashed with Eren back out to your car.
Coffee in one hand, ice in your lap, you took your first ravenous sip.
You sighed, with pure bliss this time. “Oh my God.”
“Good?”
“Amazing.”
“Feeling better?” He grinned.
You nodded along, gulping it down. “So much. You’re a lifesaver.”
The familiar turns in the road told you, even with your eyes closed, knees to your chest, sipping iced coffee, that you were home. In the kitchen, you smashed apart pieces of ice, even going as far as to take a tiny bowl up with you just in case, munching ice even as you pulled the covers over yourselves.
The bowl emptied.
The cup rattled with lightness.
And your senses were settled.
Head on his shoulder, you pressed a kiss to Eren’s arm. And you whispered with care, “You’re the best.”
#eren jaeger#eren x you#aot#snk#attack on Titan#modern au#Porco Galliard#eren jaeger x oc#eren x oc#aot x reader#period headcanons
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their everyday game
Read on AO3
Words: 3,000
Chapters: 1/1
Summary:
Things Midoriya Izuku is: A student, a sugar baby, a boyfriend, a brat.
Things Midoriya Izuku is not: Patient.
Or: Izuku wants attention from Kacchan and he is going to get it.
A commissioned fic for @insinirate !
Clack clack clack. The room is silent but for the steady breaths of its occupants and the rhythmic beat of fingers on plastic. Clear, wall-to-ceiling windows wash the sun’s gentle light into the room, and reveal a picturesque view of the sparkling city, looking like something straight out of a magazine.
Izuku glares at the extravagant view. He bets Kacchan is writing another one of those stupid reports of his.
Buzz. The clacking halts and Kacchan glances at his work phone for but a moment before the typing resumes.
Izuku takes a deep breath. Holds it. Puffs out his cheeks.
He slumps over in his seat and sighs obnoxiously.
God, he’s so damn bored.
Kacchan said he had to get one more hour of work done, and then he’d take a break. That had been almost three hours ago. ‘One hour’ had turned into two when Izuku left Kacchan to get ready for their lunch date and had foolishly gone straight to the cafe instead of meeting up with Kacchan at the office first. He’d waited all of ten minutes at their usual table before calling a company car and returning to find Kacchan still working in his office.
If not for Kacchan’s genuine surprise at the time and his gruff, yet sweet apologies, he would be a dead man already.
But Izuku still isn’t satisfied. Kacchan needs a break, and Izuku needs attention, stat. There’s only one solution: Izuku’s gonna annoy the shit out of Kacchan. So Izuku sucks in another breath and pouts at the ceiling. “Kacchaaaaan!”
Kacchan sighs, but he doesn’t respond. The silence in the room grows thick with expectation; Izuku’s long-perfect attention-seeking tone signals the start of the game they play every day.
For a moment, the only sound in the room is the clack of keys and occasional buzz from Kacchan’s work phone. Izuku wriggles against his plush seat, making the leather squeak obnoxiously, and clears his throat daintily, earning himself a glance. “Kacchan, I’m hungry…” Izuku peaks at Kacchan from beneath fluttering eyelashes.
Kacchan shifts his eyes back to his computer and types another line, pointedly loud against the room’s still silence.
When they play this game, whoever breaks first (or whoever wants whatever they’re after more) will relent and go to the other, so this can go one of two ways; Izuku will pull himself from his lounging position to drape himself over Kacchan, or Kacchan will pull himself from his work and lavish Izuku with the attention he deserves.
Today, Izuku takes it upon himself to move things forward—Kacchan is in one of those moods where it could take hours to break him down, and Izuku needs results now.
So with an impatient, gusty sigh pulled deep from his lungs, Izuku heaves himself up and slinks over to Kacchan’s grand desk, stalking up from behind him. When Kacchan makes the mistake of glancing at Izuku from the corner of his eye, Izuku pounces.
Izuku wrenches Kacchan’s chair around and jumps into his lap, laying himself over Kacchan as well as the plush arms of his chair. Kacchan grunts out a quiet oof at the sudden weight but wraps an arm around his waist nonetheless.
“I’m working, Deku,” Kacchan says dryly.
“Actually, Kacchan, I think you’ll find that you’re cuddling me and giving me attention right now, and I can’t imagine why you’d want to stop.”
Kacchan exhales quietly and wrestles down the corners of his lips—it’s not quite a smile, but it’s a good enough start for Izuku. “I have a lot to do, so as much as I’d love to keep giving you all the attention you desire, I really do have to get back to work.”
Izuku wraps an arm around Kacchan’s neck and pretends to think, then shakes his head solemnly. “Unfortunately, it’s a no from me. I’m hungry and I want lunch.”
“Then go get lunch.”
Izuku gives Kacchan a look for being deliberately obtuse.
“I’ll order in for you, then,” Kacchan offers.
Izuku huffs and pushes himself away from his comfortable spot against Kacchan’s broad chest. “Not good enough, Kacchan! We organised a lunch date, so I am getting a lunch date. Now.” Izuku sticks out his chin and dares Kacchan to say no.
Eyes lock. Izuku stares with determination, burying his will into impenetrable crystal red and steadfastly ignoring their alluring pull. Kacchan makes an aborted noise in the back of his throat, as if he was about to say something stupid but thought better of it, and finally sighs.
“Half an hour.”
Izuku smiles sweetly. “Two. You’re late, so you’ve accrued interest.”
Kacchan decides to focus on their negotiations over Izuku’s mockingly business-like tone: “Forty-five is the best you’re going to get from me.”
“An hour, not including travel time, or I’ll get our contract from your room and tear it up myself.” Izuku juts out a petulant lip. He’d never do it, but it gets his point across—Izuku isn’t budging on this.
Kacchan stares hard for a moment, then sags and rests his head in the crook of Izuku’s neck. “You’re such an annoying little shit,” he murmurs, warm against Izuku’s skin.
Izuku hides his smile in Kacchan’s hair and holds him tight. Another victory secured.
/-/
The cafe is a relaxing, familiar space for Izuku. He’s been a regular since before his arrangement with Kacchan began, and when it breached the confines of Kacchan’s highrise office, it was only natural Izuku would drag Kacchan to his favourite little spot.
After enough of their regular visits, the staff have stopped staring at Kacchan and his crisp suits and shiny Rolex watches, and they interact more or less normally with the pair when they stop by.
They place their orders, as usual, and Kacchan pays, as usual, before they settle in their favourite corner, waiting for drinks and food.
Izuku relaxes into his plush chair. He breathes in happiness, the scent of sugar and coffee and Kacchan’s handsome cologne, and breathes out his worries. He’s already plotting ways to extend the hour he was so graciously granted.
On the table before him is a generous slice of cake, which is ‘not a meal,’ according to Kacchan, but Izuku wanted it and he doesn’t care what Kacchan has to say about it. Kacchan is still waiting on his own food; some kind of salmon dish, which is about the fanciest thing he might be able to get his hands on at a casual place like this.
Before Kacchan can grouse at Izuku further, Izuku digs into his treat with no regard for manners, or as Kacchan calls them, “basic fucking social etiquette.” Whenever Kacchan attempts to spout this particular kind of bullshit, Izuku rather enjoys pointing out the hypocrisy of Kacchan of all people criticising other people’s social graces.
Izuku glances at Kacchan and licks his lips before he fills his mouth with fluffy, sugary goodness, making eye-contact with him as he lets out an exaggerated moan. “So good,” Izuku takes care to lick his lips and smiles, warm and sweet like molten honey.
Kacchan rolls his eyes, but he swallows like his mouth is dry. “You’re a damn menace, you little brat,” he says hoarsely, despite the way his eyes have been stuck on Izuku’s lips since he licked them.
“Hey!” Izuku kicks out with all the gentleness of a fussy toddler, landing a solid kick on Kacchan’s shin. “Don’t be mean. You would’ve missed our lunch date altogether if I hadn’t dragged you here.” Izuku tilts his head and gives an Oscar-worthy kicked-puppy pout.
“Deku…” Kacchan obviously misses the point of his pouting by a mile, because now he just looks sad, and that is not what Izuku was going for! “I’m sorry I forgot, baby. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with you, it’s just...”
“You’re busy,” Izuku finishes for him, and leans across the table to (affectionately) swat his dumb boyfriend’s head. “I know. I’m not mad, but I do want your attention right now, so cut out the sadness and shower me with compliments like you’re supposed to.”
This earns a snort of laughter from Kacchan, who finally catches on and plays along with their usual game. His whole face brightens with his smile. “Ah yes, of course, dear. How could I spend even a second not overwhelming you with compliments?”
Izuku nods seriously. “Exactly. I’m just so shocked. You should know better than to neglect me by now,” Izuku winks, “Daddy.”
Kacchan makes a point of rolling his eyes, but he’s smiling broadly now, all teeth and crinkled eyes. “Alright, you’ve made your point, asshole. Eat your stupid cake already.”
/-/
Once they’ve eaten, and the redundant alarm Kacchan had set goes off, they return to the car. It’s time for Izuku to execute his plan.
Before Kacchan can put his belt on like the square he is, Izuku swings a leg over his lap and wraps himself around his boyfriend. Kacchan raises a questioning eyebrow before Izuku makes his demand: “Take me shopping.”
Kacchan smacks his head back against the headrest dramatically. “You have my card. I’ll have the driver drop you off wherever you want to go, okay?”
“I said take me shopping, not send me. You have to be there or there’s no use! Kacchan needs to come with me.”
Kacchan looks sad, then, and the stupid man has apparently learnt a thing or two from Izuku, because he’s got the bestest, heart-wrenchingest puppy-dog eyes without even trying. Resting his forehead against Izuku’s, Kacchan sighs softly against his lips. “You know I spend as much time as I can with you, baby. I can only ignore my work for so long, for you.”
Izuku aches, sudden and raw. “Oh, Kacchan… I know you’re busy, you work so hard! Kacchan really is amazing. But sometimes I want to be selfish and snatch up more of your time. You put too much pressure on yourself at work. You have so many employees so you don’t have to run yourself in the ground.”
“There are things my employees can’t do-”
“Like stopping you from working yourself to death? Right, that’s my job.” Izuku wiggles in Kacchan’s lap and captures his lips in a whisper-soft kiss. “So let me take care of you.” Izuku flutters his eyelashes and pulls his trump card. “Please, Daddy?” he asks, words sugar-sweet on his lips.
Cheeks glowing a suspicious strawberry red, Kacchan huffs and grabs Izuku by the waist, easily picking him up off his lap and depositing him on the seat next to him. He waits patiently for Kacchan to break, all the while butterflies dance in Izuku’s belly at his Daddy’s casual display of strength.
“The hell do you need so badly anyway?”
Truthfully, Izuku has no idea what he would wish to buy. Spoiled as he is, there are few things he’s wanted through life that he doesn’t now own, thanks to Kacchan. “I saw this gorgeous lingerie set and I just have to try it on before I buy it. And I need you there to tell me how good it looks,” Izuku states matter-of-factly.
Kacchan clears his throat and pinches Izuku’s cheek. “Fine. Let’s go look at this lingerie, then, baby.���
/-/
Izuku drags Kacchan out of the car by his hand and refuses to let go even after they’ve made it inside the shopping center.
“Come on, come on, I wanna see what this store has!” With Kacchan in tow, Izuku makes a beeline for his favourite lingerie store.
Izuku chatters away as he makes his way up and down the store, fluttering about pretty displays and shiny, luxurious lingerie sets hung up on the walls. He semi-consciously gives Kacchan a consistent stream of observations, rhetorical questions and mumbled postulations about what Kacchan might like best. He picks out half a dozen sets in just a few minutes, handing each one over to Kacchan for him to judge and/or hold like a handsome sentient display rack.
Soon enough, Kacchan flags down someone from the store to do the grunt work for him as he follows Izuku around the store like a loyal dog, face warring between fondness and annoyance.
Izuku is quite certain that the fondness far outweighs the annoyance, though. Izuku is, after all, impossible to hate.
After completing one circuit of the store, Kacchan interrupts Izuku before he can begin on a second. “What happened to the ‘one’ set you wanted, huh?” The man crosses his arms like a brute, biceps flexing handsomely as he pours disapproval into the question.
Izuku tuts at him. “There’s nothing wrong with browsing. Just look at how pretty this one is!” Izuku pulls out the dainty belt and harness set he was looking at, wiggling it around for Kacchan’s judgment.
“Mm,” Kacchan acknowledges, carefully collected as he judges the set. With his nod of approval, Izuku gleefully adds it to his soon-to-be-towering pile of things to try on, heedless of the fact that Kacchan immediately passes it off to the poor retail worker trailing after them.
Kacchan crosses his arms. “Don’t think I don’t realise what you’re doing, baby boy.”
Izuku ought to feel sheepish at being caught out so easily, but it’s to be expected when he’s trying to con Kacchan. Instead, he tilts his head and bats his big, round eyes, the perfect picture of innocence. “But Daddy, what exactly are you going to do about it?”
Kacchan crosses his arms, but Izuku’s got him there. Kacchan wants to see Izuku in this lingerie just as much as Izuku wants to try them on. And if all of this has the bonus of Izuku keeping Kacchan to himself for a little longer, then they don’t need to talk about that, really.
“I don’t know why I put up with you,” Kacchan says, and Izuku giggles, wrapping his arms around his Daddy’s neck.
“I can think of a few reasons,” he laughs. “Now come tell me how pretty I look in these!”
/-/
The driver has to help them get everything into the car. As soon as they’re in, Kacchan orders the driver to start the car and get them back to his work quickly.
It’s cute that Kacchan thinks they’d be going anywhere near his office if not for Izuku allowing it.
“Are you satisfied now, brat?” Kacchan asks, pulling on his seatbelt only after the car has started moving (ooh, rebellious).
Izuku hums. He takes a long few moments to rearrange the copious amount of bags around him, just because he can. He pretends to think very hard about it before nodding exaggeratedly. “Yes, I think I am. For today, at least.”
When Kacchan groans, Izuku shuts him up with a kiss, and they smile like kids in love against each other’s lips.
/-/
Deku seems to have tuckered himself out during their shopping trip, which is understandable considering the sheer amount of clothes he insisted he try on before making Katsuki buy everything for him. He spends the car ride back draped over Katsuki’s side, giving a docile little mumble every now and then when he sees a dog on the sidewalk or a pretty flower that apparently reminds him of Katsuki’s eyes.
(How can the fucker get even cuter than usual just because he tired himself out being a whiny brat all day? How is that fair at all to Katsuki’s heart? Not to mention his wallet...)
(It’s not like Katsuki can’t afford it, but damn, lingerie is surprisingly fucking expensive.)
Katsuki carefully shakes Deku awake when they arrive, because he has learnt the hard way that if he leaves Deku to doze or wakes him too quickly, there will be hell to pay. So he accepts Deku’s blindly groping hand into his own and leads him into the building, where Izuku says something vague about harassing his friend in reception and stumbles off, bleary-eyed.
Katsuki has some interns come down and transfer Deku’s things into his private car so he can attempt to get some work done before Deku makes it upstairs. Deku usually settles down after a few hours of monopolising Katsuki’s time and attention, but with the mood he’s in today, Katsuki doesn’t like his chances of getting anything else done.
He’s gotten as far as opening up an email from a partner company when the door clicks open and Deku sashays in like he owns the place.
And, okay. Katsuki owns the place, and Deku has him wrapped around his pinky finger, so he does own the place in every way but name. But only Katsuki is allowed to know that, god damn it.
“You look like a bumbling fawn like that,” Katsuki informs him, just to see Deku’s sleepy eyes flash with indignation, and watch his cheeks glow a pretty, flustered pink.
Deku’s response doesn’t disappoint, and his nose even scrunches up like a disgruntled bunny, but Katsuki’s gone and shot himself in the foot because now Deku is stomping up to him in a way that says he means business. Deku collapses heavily and claims the space of Katsuki’s lap, steadfast in the fact that it is his and his alone.
Deku slaps him petulantly on the chest. “Meanie,” he mumbles, and curls up on Katsuki’s lap, nestling his head beneath his chin and settling against him, a puzzle piece slotted perfectly in its place. “I’m tired,” Deku says, as if that isn’t obvious already.
Kastuki huffs, presses a feather-soft kiss to the crown of his head. “Just rest, idiot.”
“‘Mkay Daddy…”
Katsuki strokes his fingers through the softness of Izuku’s hair and cradles him as Deku’s body relaxes into Katsuki’s own. “Good boy,” he murmurs.
Pressed tenderly together, Deku continues babbling quietly to fill the peaceful sunset air. Katsuki nods along and holds his baby securely in his arms until he floats off into sleep.
Clack clack clack. With a watchful eye on Deku, lovely and sleep-soft against his chest, Katsuki quietly gets back to work.
#bakudeku#katsudeku#bnha#my hero academia#bakugou katsuki#midoriya izuku#sugar daddy AU#my fic#commissioned writing#commission#post#long post
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its thanksgiving get nasty (18+)
pairing: edward cullen x reader
summary: you get bored at thanksgiving dinner. unfortunately for edward you wore sandals
warnings: smut,brief footjob, thanksgiving dinner, edward kind of chokes on corn, reader doesn’t like their family, mild injury, fingering, innappropriate use of vampire speed, technically exhibitionism and public sex?? bad dirty talk, and cousin-shaming, reader is afab and might be described as female im not sure
a/n: i wrote this in 24 hours so any sloppiness is not my fault
masterlist
(c/n)= cousins name
When you told him thanksgiving with your family would be boring, you’d meant it’d be for him, looking forward to his reaction to being on the receiving end of your bloodlines ridiculousness while you’d get dinner and a show. But, as it turns out, your family just so happens to get along with Edward much better than they do with you.
The seating situation is a little unconventional, since because your boyfriend-snatching cousin stole the open seat next to Edward before you even made it back from the bathroom, leaving your only viable option directly opposite of him. On the bright side, you had the option of kicking his leg when he’d said something to embarrass you.
Bless his soul, he’d done his best to bring you into the conversation but apparently, anything you had to say about your relationship had been relayed verbatim to the family group chat you weren't even in by your mother. So, after the third time you’re talked over by the aforementioned horny cousin or some other nosy relative on you’re bored out of your mind.
Everyone had gotten over your piss poor table manners years ago, or were just completely ignoring you at this point because there were no protests when they’d brought the turkey out and you’d stayed slumped low in your seat like a child in church.
Twitter had stopped refreshing ten minutes ago, and when you finally resigned yourself to tuning back into the conversation, your mother was showing Edward your baby pictures again. Idly swinging one bare foot under the table, your bare toe grazes the drape of his dress slacks under the table when you get an idea.
You’d lost a sandal earlier after Edward had pinned it under his shoe in a vain attempt to stop your pinching and dirtying of his slacks with your filthy soles. You scoot a little further forward in your seat to reach out and press your arch flat against his shin.
Edward doesn’t visibly react, just shifts his leg away, leaving yours to slip to the floor until you reach up again to plant your heel on the seat of the chair. The conversation lulls for a moment as everyone says grace, and he uses the opportunity to grab your ankle and send you a warning glare over the top of your phone.
You meet his gaze and boorishly eat a spoon of mashed potatoes, shrugging as if he couldn’t read in your mind exactly what you were about to do.
Your cousin asks about his mom car again and when you roll your eyes Edward flicks the outside of your fibula, sure to bruise, and you crinkle your nose, pinching his marble thigh between your toes as best you can through the material.
“Well my father thought it was necessary for my siblings and I to-”
While he talks, he's soothing the spot he flicked, playing in the stubble leftover from your shoddy shave job this morning, and the absent affection gives you the final motivation to further push your luck. You tease the seam of his left leg with the very tips of your toes, coaxing the unnatural heat of the venom to build in the crotch of his pants, the coolness of the rest of him making it seem even hotter in comparison.
He inhales on a forkful of corn, almost taking it down the wrong pipe, and you fight a smile around the bowl of the spoon as he flawlessly recovers and finishes the thought. You idly wonder if you could be that smooth someday. For now, you press further, pressing a toe against the seam over his cock, stroking up and down as slowly and consistently as you can while stretched under a table because who would’ve thought that footjobs are kind of an athletic feat.
Edward taps insistently at your leg, harder than he normally would, and you have to hold back a laugh at the idea of him splitting the table because he can’t take a little footsie action. You press forward again, arch encompassing his hardness through the fabric, toes curling against his pubic bone when-
“Ho-oly shit!” Searing pain shoots up from your ankle, and you double over, using everything in you not to shout, Edwards dawning mortification going unnoticed as everyone at the table turns to you at your unexpected outburst.
“(Y/n)?” Your mother doesn’t seem that happy to have dinner interrupted, and you clutch your stomach as a quick cover.
“Uh, my bad.” You snicker nervously at the sudden attention, bravado gone. Your face feels red-hot. “I actually need to use the bathroom, I think,” you lick your lips and slide out of your chair. “Lady problems.”
The table erupts in a cacophony of gags and groans as the notion of a menstrual cycle is brought up in casual conversation, and it gives you the perfect cover to retreat to the upstairs bathroom. It takes you a minute to make it up the stairs without causing a scene, and just as soon as you close and lock the door behind you and settle down to weep in peace, he’s there, jiggling the doorknob like it’s a drug bust.
“Let me in.”
You’re apparently taking too long because as soon as your injured foot touches the floor, he forces the lock and slips in, shutting the door a little too fast to pass as human.
“Jesus! Edward, are you trying to lose our deposit?” You lean around him to check for a handprint but he doesn’t respond, wordlessly setting you up on the counter, kneeling to examine your injured ankle, cool fingers soothing to the sore skin. You sit in silence, idly swinging your other leg to distract yourself.
“How'd you make it out?” You can't imagine they’d let the guest of honor go so easily.
“You forgot your bag, I told them I’d just bringing it up to you.” He places your bag next to you as evidence. “Maybe you should start carrying menstrual products for when you actually need them.”
Of course, he breaks your foot and wants to lecture you on responsible uterus care. Edward sighs, taking your foot with the gentlest touch and whispering a kiss into the skin. “It’s only a sprain, but I’m still sorry.”
“S’Okay.” Your face burns, not expecting his guilt. “Serves me right, huh?” You titter, poking his side with your uninjured foot. He swipes it up before you can start again, halfheartedly laughing with you.
“Let me wrap it before you get any more ideas.” You hand him the compression wrap from the medicine cabinet, and he gets to work. The wince you give at the pressure is more reflex than anything, but the anxious expression on his face tells you he wasn't going to let this go easily.
“Y’know…” You poke at him again. The playful contempt in his golden eyes gives you the go-ahead to make your case. “If you’re really feeling torn up about it, seeing you wow my family like that got me a little riled up.”
“Really.” Edward kisses the secured wrapping and releases you, standing to frame you against the counter.
“I’m serious, impressing them isn’t easy, (C/n) is probably shaving in the guest room to steal you from me right now, just thinking about it has got me a little hot under the collar.” You run your hands over his back and through his hair, nuzzling into the crook of his throat.
“You’re laying it on pretty thick, don’t you think?” His hands smooth over your exposed thighs sending a shiver up your spine. You think you've got him, but he's such a tease sometimes you can never really be sure.
“Depends. Is it working?” You still, bracing for some line about ‘responsibility’ and ‘your family waiting for you.’
But then his hands are under your skirt, hooking into the sides of your underwear and pulling them down your thighs, leaving them to free-fall to your feet. You clutch his auburn hair in your fingers at the shock of open-air against your cunt.
“Do you think I could let you go back to that table smelling like this?” His sweet breath washes against your ear as he huffs a soft laugh. “I’d rather not go downstairs and pretend to care about football when I know you’re here, hot and ready for me.”
You can’t resist him any longer, pulling him close and kissing him with the desperation of a woman who needs to be back downstairs before dessert. His thumb teases over your cunt at first, swirling over your swelling clit and teasing your hole before he finds a focus, using the thumb of his free hand to hold your hood back as his slicked fingers grind the bud into a frenzy while he sucks your tongue into his mouth.
It’s all you can do to hold your breath while he touches you, cool fingers building a knot in your belly, smooth and steady as they batter you up into a frenzy. He adjusts his hand, his ring finger pressing into you and bringing a low ache from rushed preparation, but you welcome it, thighs shaking with the effort to stay open for him as your mouth falls open in a shaky gasp. Edward breaks the kiss to let you breathe , seemingly unbothered until-
“(C/n) is coming.”
“Wha-” A particularly deep stroke has you biting your lip as you struggle to concentrate. “What the fuck does she want?”
“She’s going to ask you where I am.” His expression doesn’t match his words, still completely concentrated on ruining you despite the obvious issue.
“And what am I supposed to tell her?!” You hiss back right as she reaches the door. His mouth closes over your pulse point and you don't think you've clenched that hard before in your life.
“Hey (Y/n)? Have you seen Edward?” Her voice is enough of a mood killer that you have to shove your face into his throat to ground yourself in the moment. He adds a second finger, gaining speed, and you pray and hope to any god listening to this that she can't hear the squelches through the door.
“N-no.” You rack your mind for an excuse. His scent is making it harder to concentrate. “I think he went out for a smoke?” Nice one.
“Really? I didn't smell anything on him...” If all your blood flow hadn't been centralized below the waist at this point you'd’ve asked how the hell she knows what he smells like. He's fully abandoned your clit now, leaving it to pulse in the open air while three of his fingers push and pull at your pelvic floor.
“That's cause he unh-” You slap a hand over your mouth to stop the moan before it can be recognized for what it is.“-he vapes!” Edward pulls back from your throat to look at you incredulously, but it's a little hard to be ashamed when he's nearly wrist deep inside you.
“Oh… Well, let him know if you see him that they’re playing charades and I need a partner. You know how it is.”
You forget to reply, too enthralled watching him spit onto his unoccupied fingers and mash the coolness against your clit, causing you to nearly spasm off the counter, losing the sensation as he silently laughs at having to hold you steady. She seemed to have taken your silence as an admission, as you can hear the door at the stoop of the stairs swinging shut after her. Thank God.
“Rub your spot, Sweet, come on, we have to be quick.” He kisses your temple and laughs a bit maniacally at the little whimper that escapes when you bring a hand down to your clit. “Surprisingly, she’s having trouble picturing me in a vape shop.”
You whine around a bitten lip, too far gone to listen to his ribbing. You’re building up to overstimulation with the sloppy way you’re rubbing yourself, and he must feel it too, because in the next second, his fingers are vibrating.
“Come on, (Y/n), don't you want to finish up here and mop the floor with them?” You hadn’t even realized how hazy your vision had gotten until he grabs your chin and levels your lidded eyes with his and says your name again. You nod sluggishly for him, not hearing a word. He laughs again, smiles wide. His teeth are pretty.
“If you cum right now;” The buzzing grows stronger, your free arm spasming under you as you support yourself. “I’ll rub you raw after on the ride home. You just need to come right now and win charades with me.”
The buzzing inside grows too strong, and your vision goes white, pulsing in long pulls around his fingers as hot waves of sensation spread from your head to your toes.
Edward kisses you, soft and slow, swallowing any whimpers tempted to escape as you come down, abandoning the counter to clutch his sleeve as the twitching reduces to a tremor.
“Oh my god.“ You laugh, planting your face into his collar as you catch your breath. “I can't believe you used charades to make me come, I'm never gonna forgive you.”
“I heard the top prize is a ten dollar gift card to…” He squints and checks again. “The Google Play Store.”
“Ew, what could you even do with tha-”
“(Y/N) come help with plates!” Your mother shouts up the stairwell, totally fucking up any release you just had.
“I guess I should run down to the corner store;” Edward smiles, helping you to stand on wobbly legs and smoothing your skirt down. “Don't want to blow your cover.”
“(Y/N)! Plates!”
“Oh my god;” Your eyes may never return from the back of your skull. “Meet you downstairs?”
He kisses you sweetly one last time, pulling you close and wiping the sheen of sweat off of your face.
“Downstairs.”
With that, he heaves himself out of the narrow sill, and you busy yourself cleaning up as fast as you can.
You just catch him hopping off the roof, and coming around to the front yard. He'll hear you no matter the volume, but you still shout the warning;
“Stay away from my cousin!”
#edward cullen x reader#edward cullen imagine#edward cullen#Twilight FanFic#twilight smut#twilight imagines#twilight x reader#twilight x you#the twilight saga#reader insert smut#reader insert fluff#reader#thanksgiving#dinner with parents
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suburban dream
summary: how do you wake up from a nightmare? is it a nightmare if you’ve been asleep the whole time?
major warnings: noncon/dubcon smut, stalking, mention of pregnancy, some cum play (check the prompts for indications of other warnings)
a/n: this is for @iraot’s 1.1k writing challenge. BIG congrats on 1.1k (i cannot explain how glad i am that others get to read your amazing work) and another BIG thank you for hosting this challenge.
Here are the results of my wheel spins:
Kink wheel: daddy kink, somnophilia, breeding kink Character wheel: Jake Jensen Situation wheel: Neighbours AU
You let out a breath of relief as you dropped the last brown box into the corner of the room. How you managed to own this much stuff, you’d never know. Glanced around the living room, it was difficult to decide where to begin. After much contemplation, you huffed and picked up the pizza catalogue, deciding to call it a day.
It was unbearable to leave the house in the mess that it was. On the other hand, your right hip wailed in agony every time you bent down. Lacking the much-needed support of friends or family, you had no option but to suck it up and unpack… but that can wait till tomorrow.
Fishing out just the necessities for the night, you climbed up the stairs and headed into the master bedroom. Massive house for one person, you noted. You did insist that an apartment would suffice but Tony was a stickler for rules.
All Stark employees have to be residents of a Stark-Jensen neighbourhood.
Before getting the job, you weren’t even aware that “Stark-Jensen” neighbourhoods were a thing; it was a term coined by the tech company itself, referring to neighbourhoods that are protected by Stark-Jensen technology. The crime rate in these neighbourhoods are always startlingly low, the odd criminal or two being from inside the community itself. All things considered, how could you say no to free housing?
Sure, the security measures assured that you never had to worry, but it also made you wonder why they were there in the first place. This place was as secure as the Stark Tower; why? You tried not to ask too many questions, afraid of getting on Tony’s bad side. Besides, it isn’t characteristic of him to give you a straight answer anyway.
Life is good, your most harrowing concern at the moment being that your new place had no curtains. It had been a long time since things were calm and you were just recognizing that your days had been free of storms for some time now. Counting your blessings for the second time that night, you stepped into the shower and reminded yourself of all the things to be grateful for.
To say you were in a good mood was an understatement. You finished your night routine right as the pizza was delivered and excitedly skipped down. No one told you how fun living alone was but they didn’t need to - you quickly found that independence is a glorious necessity in everyone’s life.
Jake stood bewildered at your person throwing the door open. He gripped the pizza box tight to ensure he didn’t drop it and continued to look at you like you had grown a third head. He never was very good with his words, but your beauty truly inhibited his ability to think.
“Hi?” you asked.
“Hey, I-I’m your neighbour, Jake. Saw that you were moving in and I came to ask if you need any help.”
“Oh,” you contemplated, looking past him. “Where’s the pizza person?”
“I paid for it. Housewarming gift?” he said like a question and handed it over.
You received the warm box and waited for him to say something as he fiddled with his hands. His smile looks so familiar but you couldn’t place your finger on it.
“So…Do you need help?” He looked up right at the end. You grinned at how shy he was.
“I would really appreciate the help tomorrow,” you replied casually.
“Oh, so… I’ll come by tomorrow morning?” He looked hopeful, as if you were the one handing him the olive branch. You took a once-over of his build, sure that he would come handy when your hip gives up again and nodded in response.
He nodded back slowly and turned around to leave, but seeing him at your doorstep felt eerily similar to a puppy left out in the rain.
“I don’t think I can finish this pizza alone,” you called out. He turned around, a glint of happiness apparent in the shine of his eyes.
“Do you have time to help me with this right now?” It was your turn to look hopeful and you really hoped this cutie took the bait.
He did.
You couldn’t ignore the nagging at the back of your head that you had seen him somewhere. You also couldn’t dismiss the fact that dinner together was just a little awkward. The conversation started off with small talk, and it didn’t take a genius to tell that neither of you enjoyed it. Luckily, it shifted to talks about the neighbourhood and your old job. After that, the words flowed easily, the two of you bonding like you had known each other forever. Although it was smooth sailing, you couldn’t help but wonder how he knows so much about the neighbourhood security measures. When he mentioned that he had lived there for about 6 years, you chalked it up to a simple accumulation of knowledge he must’ve acquired from being around for so long.
“So everyone who lives around here works for Stark-Jensen, right?” you questioned, trailing your finger on the rim of your second wine glass for the night.
“Yeah, for the most part. Though it’s hard to tell who works for who.”
You chuckled in agreement.
“What is it with that? I mean, I work for Stark, and my colleagues, too… but exclusively for Stark. Jensen does exist right?”
“Yeah,” he snickered, “He does. Stark makes the tech and Jensen does the coding.”
“So they’re a two-man team, but Tony’s the face of the company? Seems sort of unfair,” you muttered, quirking your brow a little.
Jake smiled at your comment, glanced at his hands and looked back up at you.
“Maybe he wants it to be that way.” He nudged his glasses up and took a little sip of his wine while peering at you.
You cocked your head to the side and considered the information. Your head was hazy and you needed to stop drinking; alcohol and cute guys are not a good mix.
“Wait.” You squinted at him.
“Does that mean you’re a Stark-Jensen employee?”
He let out a chortle and took your glass from you.
“Hey, hey I want that back!” you whined, not even caring that you’re embarrassing yourself.
“I think that’s enough for today.” He gently helped you up, waiting for you to move.
“I can usually handle my liquor,” you promised, clinging onto his broad form for support.
He started moving you up to your lone mattress in the corner of your room, softly laying you down.
“Jake,” you caught his arm. “You didn’t answer the question. Do you work for Stark-Jensen?”
“Yeah, something like that.”
You pouted at his answer, still gripping his wrist like you owned him. He tenderly pried your fingers off him and placed them on your belly.
“See you tomorrow,” he mumbled as he left your room. You drifted asleep easily, blissfully unaware of how you’d never be able to live down the humiliation of your drunken stupor.
The next day, you hoped Jake wouldn’t show up. It would save you from the burning heat that crept up your neck every time you recalled the night before.
Unfortunately, Jake had found it way too amusing an opportunity to tease you, showing up at your doorstep at 10 AM on the dot.
The day went on without a hitch, the conversation picking up easily from where you left off. Jake found it endearing when you groaned at the mention of your state, only after three glasses of wine. The question of his employment never crossed your mind again, both of you having way too much fun unpacking. You felt ten times better knowing that your neighbour was a loveable, single, hunky nerd; it made the stress of settling in that much better.
Of course, like all good things, the weekend came to an end. Monday morning, you eagerly prepped yourself for a new week at the office. Being Tony’s right hand took five rounds of interviews as well as background checks into every living relative you had. After the turbulent hiring process, you found that the job was not any easier. Luckily, the move had you feeling more thankful about being in sync with all the Stark tech; with FRIDAY managing your house and personal appointments, it was easier to keep track of Tony’s day.
You stepped out of the house and shielded your eyes from the beautiful day. Just then, your lovely new friend stepped onto his porch wearing casual attire.
“Have fun at work!” he called after you.
“Thanks! Are you going to work?”
“Yes, I am.” You took in his outfit one more time, chuckling as you wondered what job would pay enough to live here while dressed in sweats.
“Well, in case I don’t see ya’... Good afternoon, good evening and good night!” you exclaim loudly.
Jake giggled like a schoolboy and waved goodbye before ducking into his car.
Tony’s 10 AM meeting has been pushed to 11 AM, Miss L/N.
“No, no, that won’t do! He has another meeting at 12 PM, the timing will clash. FRIDAY, who was he supposed to meet at 10 AM?”
Speaking to the AI felt more like talking to yourself, but with time, you assured yourself that it would look as cool as Stark when handling your things.
He’s meeting Mr Jensen, the co-founder of Stark-Jensen. I believe you have not met him yet.
“Yeah, I haven’t. Could you call him for me, FRIDAY?”
Sorry Miss L/N, Mr Jensen’s phone is switched off. He has already notified Tony of the change in plans.
“What an asshole,” you grumbled.
On the contrary, I think you would like Mr Jensen, Miss L/N.
“You can just call me Y/N, FRIDAY. Oh, and, send out a notification to all of today’s meeting hosts and tell them to push it by one hour. If they complain, send them my number to take up any problems they have.”
It’ll be done by the time you reach your office.
“Thank you,” you smiled and pulled into your parking spot, right beside Tony’s.
It was hard to imagine what would’ve happened today if Tony didn’t give you access to FRIDAY. Calling each meeting host and personally asking them to push their meetings seemed like a tedious and mind-bending task. And frankly, you didn’t ever look forward to talking to Karen’s. But now, you would never have to know; FRIDAY was an absolute godsend.
You stepped onto the other side of security clearance just as the clock struck 9 AM. Strutting up to your office, you made a mental checklist of everything you need to do during the day. Usually, Tony didn’t require you to sit in for his meetings. He has a different set of assistants for note-taking purposes.
Too consumed by your thoughts, you didn’t notice the large picture of Jake and Tony sitting side by side on the wall beside the elevators. You also didn’t notice Jake’s smirk as he passed by you with ease. He would’ve stopped to say hi, but he knew that you didn’t realize who he was yet. Now he just had to figure out a way to get you to show up to his and Tony’s meeting and give you the heart attack of a lifetime.
Beep, beep.
The Stark-watch buzzed on your wrist, letting you know that Tony was calling for you. You had barely even stepped into the elevator and he was already whining like a baby.
You shook your head and stepped into the doorframe of his lab.
“Come here!” his voice called from the far end of a lab. Your suspicions of him being under the work table were confirmed when he wheeled out on his back and handed you a wrench.
“Do me a favour. Tighten this for me?”
He handed you the arm of an Iron Man suit, what you assumed was his latest mark. He already lived at the lab as it was, you wondered how he ever had time for Pepper.
“Come on, put your arm into it L/N! You know what, you’re distracted, give it here.”
“Did you call me here to tighten your screws?” You shifted your weight onto one leg and crossed your arms. It was sassy of you, but Tony’s assistant needs to have some backbone, famously said by Rhodey.
“Well, you know me, screws always loose.” He knocked on his head and chuckled at his own joke. You sighed and turned to walk out.
“I need you to sit in for my 11 o’clock. And cancel everything else today.”
You gasped and turned again, marching to where he was lying down.
“Tony Stark, you have no regard for anyone’s time! I already pushed everything back by one hour because of your buddy Jensen and now you’re asking me to cancel everything?”
“I know, and I agree. I wish I could go to the mind-numbing meetings with corporate clowns, but I want to show you and Jensen something cool.”
He stopped fiddling with his toy just long enough to glance at you.
You sighed and called for FRIDAY, groaning for the umpteenth time since that morning. Why were you acting like this was the first time he’s done this? It was probably your lack of energy from moving. You couldn’t wait to get home and maybe call Jake over for dinner. Now that you considered this possibility, time seemed to pass slower, but at least there was something worthwhile to look forward to.
When 10:55 rolled around, you were sitting in Tony’s lab, patiently waiting as Tony set up his latest invention for demonstration.
“Where’s your buddy?” you asked, checking your watch for the time again.
“On his way,” he replied without turning away from his work.
He paused and took a step back to admire his work before facing you.
“You haven’t met Jake, have you?”
“Jake?”
Right on cue, Jake walked through the doors of the labs and you whipped around to find your grinning friend.
“Howdy neighbour,” Jake sneered.
“Oh, right. You live beside each other,” Tony muttered as he gathered some more things from his desk.
You shamelessly inhaled the pinewood and vanilla-infused scent of Jake as he sat down beside you. To have him so close to you was a dangerous thing, your cunt unknowingly clenching every time he moved his biceps.
“Stop making heart-eyes at him.”
You threw whatever was in your hand at Tony’s head, and it happened to be a pen. It narrowly missed as he ducked and doubled over in laughter at your embarrassment. The bastard took sick pleasure in it so he often made it a point to humiliate you, but it usually wasn’t in front of the co-CEO of the world’s largest tech company.
The rest of your time in that lab went on without any heart attacks - as far as anyone knew, the slick between your thighs doesn’t account for a ‘heart attack’, per se. You shouldn’t even be thinking about Jake like that. He was technically your boss too.
Tony dismissed you at lunch and told you to take the rest of the day off, much to your delight. You slid into your car and dropped your head onto the steering wheel.
You had barely moved into the neighbourhood and you’re already finding ways to be fired.
~Time skip~
You sighed and laid back in the over-the-top maternity chair Jake got you for feeding. Your baby gurgled as curled his little fingers into his palm before knocking on your breast once. With a light chuckle, you cooed as the little bundle began falling asleep.
This was the only place in the house that had a sliver of sunlight gracing the inside of the house.
You could have outdoor privileges if you didn’t pull that little stunt.
Could you really blame yourself for trying to leave? How were you to know that it’s impossible to leave a Stark-Jensen neighbourhood?
Because it says “Stark-Jensen” in the name, you dumbass.
Fair enough.
You lost count of how many times you sigh on the daily, instead opting to count the number of times you’re able to hold off a mental breakdown. Today, you got the rare privilege of privacy, with Jake being gone to another one of Stark’s presentation.
You reminisced about the last time you sat in Tony’s lab and watched him explain his latest creation. Little did you know that the first time you sat with Jake in there would also be the last time you ever sat in there.
You gently placed the Jim in the cradle. Again, one of the many over-the-top investments made by Jake to ensure the baby got state-of-the-art care. The way Jensen had made you sit beside him as he put the contraption together almost had you lurching. But you didn’t want to wake the baby. The horridness of the memories cannot outweigh your will to keep Jimmy from crying.
“Look at it!”, Jake excitedly spun the box to show you. It must’ve cost an unreasonable amount of money - not that he couldn’t spare to spend the coin, but the purchase confirmed your worst suspicions; he was serious about this all.
Your eyes, puffy from the days of crying, were barely open. Yet you still nodded, figuring that if you put up with his enthusiasm now, he’ll let you go to sleep without raping you like he did every night.
Anyway, you were wrong.
When did everything go so wrong?; How?
You picked up your phone. Your eyes flickered between the only two contacts saved on it. Jake made sure you couldn’t do anything except call him or Tony.
You missed your ex-boss (who was always more of a friend to you). But, it was obvious that calling him wasn’t worth it and would rarely yield any fruitful conversation. Tony always spoke as if he were walking on glass around you and your words were always monitored and censored by Jake. It didn’t take long to figure that one out.
“I don’t know what happened, Tony, she’s just unhinged,” Jake explained over the phone. In the background, you struggled against the bonds that held you to his bedframe. You sobbed harder into your gag and tried to scream ‘help’. All that came out was a shriek.
“You hear her? She’s completely unfit to come into work… What happened? I don’t know man… She’s breaking down under all the stress. A few days of rest might do the trick. No, no, you don’t have to come down. I’ll take care of it.”
He ended the call and you went limp, pausing your hysteria. He smiled at you as if he hadn’t kidnapped you. As if he hadn’t just made Tony believe that you were off your rockers. As if he hadn’t just fucked you five times over the span of 48 hours.
He had planned every step of your entrapment to the letter and it was all going according to his plan.
You put your phone facedown on the dining table and walked back upstairs to your room. His room. Your room, too.
Never, you internally screamed.
Well, it’s too late to debate it.
You stood at the foot of your bed and traced the footboard. He took you countless amount of times on this bed and every instance held some clue that he was working up to what was happening now. You could see that now - but what was the point now?
You giggled as Jake pushed you onto his bed. Who knew this golden retriever could be so rough?
“Shhshshshhh” you slurred and Jake laughed in response.
“Tony’s not here, baby,” he replied, climbing on top of you.
“We’re not gonna get fired?”
“He can’t fire me, sweetheart.”
“Oh… yeah.” You frowned, remembering that your risqué relationship was only risky for you.
In your drunken haze, you didn’t realize Jake was rubbing his bulbous tip against your folds, gathering slick.
“Condom?”
“Don’t have,” Jake lied.
“Oh,” you hesitated.
“It’ll feel so good, baby.” He nuzzled his nose into the crook of your neck and sunk in before you had the chance to protest.
“Jakeeee,” you whined. Writhing under his grasp, you shook your head side-to-side as he vigorously fucked into you.
He abruptly stopped and pulled out. “What have I said about saying my name?”
“I’m sorry, daddy,” you sheepishly say.
“That’s right, slut. You’re gonna make me a daddy, right?” He pushed back in.
“Yeah, you are. Gonna make me a daddy, so call me daddy.”
The implication of his words flew right over your head in your drunken haze and blank mind. Any ounce of sense that you had left was being fucked out by his thick length.
“Gonna blow my load. Fill you tight cunt, not gonna last long.”
His words were broken with loud moans. He couldn’t think straight with your warm, wet pussy inviting him in over and over.
As you shook from an overwhelming orgasm, your pussy involuntarily clenched, causing Jake to lose any last bit of restraint he was holding onto. He pushed in as far as he could go as you flailed around. He pinned your arms down and pressed his mouth into yours, delivering a hot and heavy kiss that had you panting.
He pulled out, but the string of cum that followed made you blanch. You never were one for cum play. Still, you didn’t protest when Jake pushed everything back in with two fingers.
“Gotta’ make sure you’re full baby.”
You shake your head now, but again, what’s the point? It’s all done and dusted. Though, you should give yourself some credit. Even if you had realized earlier, it wouldn’t have made a difference. He would’ve realized that you knew before you could’ve even thought about escaping.
As you drifted asleep, you adjusted the volume of the baby monitor one last time and slumped into the fluffy pillows.
How do you wake up from dreams? Was it by pinching yourself? You couldn’t wake up from the nightmare that was your reality when you pinched yourself. You doubted that would work right now. You couldn’t recall how to open your eyes. Instead, you whimpered in your sleep, reliving the moment Jake finally revealed his ulterior motive
“You did what?” Jake was seething, but the only indication of it was his clenching jaw and red face. His tone was the perfect embodiment of the calm before a storm.
“I know you aren’t happy… but Jake, you- you’re always talking about babies and a family. It was so overwhelming and I… I-I…” You were shivering now, unable to withstand the heat of his glare. You had never been on the receiving end of his anger. Hell, you had never even seen him angry.
“I didn’t have an abortion, Jake, for god’s sake stop looking at me like a killed a baby! Plan B is not a crime. I’m only even bringing this up because I started on birth control anyway. Plan B every time we have sex is just not practical or feasible.”
At this point, you could’ve been speaking to a wall. Jake still hadn’t said anything and you were beginning to wonder if he had even been listening.
“I can’t believe I didn’t notice,” he whispered, at last.
“What?”
“I watch you do everything, I can’t believe I didn’t know about the Plan B.”
“What… What are you saying?”
“I said,” Jake stood up, “I’ve basically been watching you 24/7. And I don’t know how I didn’t notice this.”
“What do you mean watching me?” Tears in your waterline were threatening to blur your vision but you blinked furiously in an attempt to keep looking Jake in the eyes.
“You think FRIDAY works for you?”
Jake leisurely cracked each knuckle and took a step towards you. You took one back.
“Oh, now, don’t be like that.”
You woke from your nightmare that was the boiling pot and jumped straight into the fire. Jake was already moving in and out of your channel, moaning about how he missed you too much.
You tried to adjust yourself but he caught your arms and pulled out just long enough to flip you onto your stomach.
When he pushed back in, the hopelessness of your life manifested as tears; it happens every once in a while.
Today, you had a new record: you were able to hold off a total of 7 breakdowns.
But, of course, that was right before he pinched you awake every time.
Masterlist
#jake jensen#the losers#chris evans#chris evans fic#chris evans characters#Chris Evans character#jake jensen fic#dark!jake jensen#dark!jake jensen x you#dark!jake jensen x reader#dark!jake#poc reader#black!reader#chubby!reader#plus size!reader#fic#mcu#marvel#the losers fic#iraotwheelsofdebaucherychallenge#1.1k challenge
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Saving Grace - JJ Maybank
A/N: A You Are Ok drabble set ten years in the future
You Are Ok Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist
✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
The Maybank house had sat empty on the cut for almost five years until JJ’s dad was released from prison. You and JJ had been down in Florida at the time, moved out of his cousin’s trailer and living in an apartment in the everglades. Talking about going home but unsure what the OBX had to offer at that point. It was barely two weeks after that when you both flew home, Luke Maybank had overdosed and the house was empty once again.
It stayed empty while the two of you gutted the entire place and refurbished it. While JJ and you stayed at the Chateau or Kiara’s place, while you found a job and found out you were pregnant, while JJ got a job for himself in the area and went back down to the everglades to empty out the apartment.
JJ laid the tile in the bathroom himself and fixed the plumbing. You painted the inside and outside of the house, planted a garden, bought a chicken coop. You and JJ moved in to the house and just like that you were back in the OBX.
-
You sat outside on the porch, drinking a cup of coffee despite the hour nearing eight o’clock at night. The baby monitor was sitting beside you, a soft gurgling coming from the receiver. You were waiting for the familiar sight of JJ’s truck pulling down the long driveway in the dusk. The headlights were already on, flashing on you for a moment as he parked and then cut off, the engine dying.
“Hey, what’re you doing out here?” He asked, climbing out of the front seat of the car and bringing a bag of chinese food with him.
“Waiting for you to bring me egg rolls?” You joke, before turning serious, “I saw my dad this morning, at the grocery store.”
“Did he see you?”
“Yeah...it was, really weird?” You suggested, reaching for the bag. JJ shook his head and held the bag away from you, a silent ‘I’ve got it’ as he leaned in and gave you a kiss. You wrinkled your nose at the familiar smell of fish as you pulled away, “how was work?”
“Alright...” he shrugged, “what did your dad say?”
“That he wants me to come to church on Sunday.” You replied, following him inside.
“You wanna go?” It was a question but the way he asked you knew that he already knew the answer.
“I mean...I’m not gonna like, start going to church with them every week and ya know, go back to how I was but...it might be nice. I do miss my family and, I want to have boundaries but maybe they don’t have to be like, huge ten-year silence boundaries where we never speak. I do want Willow to know her cousins; I think. What do you wanna do?” You asked, passing plates across the counter to him.
A tinny half cry sounded from the monitor on the table and you both turned to look over at it, waiting for a crescendo of cries that you’d grown used to in the last four months. When silence settled back in, you both seemed to exhale in relief. You wanted to eat and finish this conversation before JJ ultimately showered and fell asleep until Willow’s usual one a.m. wake up.
“Whatever you want.” He replied, never submitting to making the decision for you when you wanted him to. “Not exactly like your family’s a big of me.”
“Can’t imagine why,” you bumped his hip with your own, kissing his cheek. “Not like you totally corrupted their youngest daughter or anything.”
“Oh no, do not blame that on me.”
“I didn’t run away to marry myself.”
“If you go...” JJ posed, turning to follow you to the table, “do you want to go alone?”
-
You stood frozen in place, holding a box of cereal in your hand as you stared across the small expanse of Heyward’s shop, your dad there by the fresh produce, comparing two different apples with each other. The Outer Banks was a small island but you ran in very different circles and, in the three years that you’d been home, had avoided seeing your parents. Or anyone in your family.
You’d driven passed the baptist church, a sign boasting a new assistant pastor, one of your brothers, when you’d first moved back but hadn’t actually seen anyone. The possibility of seeing them again had been a long debate between you and JJ when you’d finally decided to leave Florida for North Carolina. It had been hard in the very beginning, missing birthdays and anniversaries and new babies, but over time the ache had dulled and you had shifted your attention away from what you were missing and focused on working through the things you could heal in yourself.
Now you were frozen. If you left your basket of groceries now you could make a beeline for the door and be out before he saw you. But then the bell above the door rattled as a customer came in and the baby swaddled against your chest started to fuss. Before you could attempt to placate her, your dad was looking over. For a moment you were certain he didn’t recognize you. Ten years was a long time. But then his mouth quirked into a frown and he set down the apples he was holding.
“Ace?” He questioned, the old nickname feeling foreign to you. It’d probably been ten years since anyone called you that.
“Hey, dad.” You nodded your head at him across the small store. You felt like tacking on a ‘surprise’ for good measure. ‘Surprise, I’m in the OBX, surprise, I got a kid...’
“When did you uh, when did you come home?” He moved across the store to be near you though he refrained from reaching out for a hug. You wondered if a decade had been just as hard on him as it had on you. Cathartic and healthy and freeing but hard. He seemed more mellow, you thought that before he might’ve pulled out a bible and started admonishing you.
“JJ and I moved back three years ago,” you admitted, slipping his name into the conversation as if to prove a point. “He got a job on a fishing rig.”
“Will you...would you come to church? We could have lunch afterward. Or you could just be there?” He offered. Ten years hadn’t changed his beliefs at all but it had made him miss you. Not knowing where you were or what you were doing felt like an ache in his chest that never went away. The anger had subsided to sadness and guilt.
-
Seeing your dad had been startling enough and you had almost wished, while you were standing there in Heyward’s, that JJ could’ve been with you. Though, you weren’t entirely sure that would’ve helped anything in the long run.
“I think my mom would probably be nicer to me if I brought Wills but maybe, I mean, my dad already saw her. He didn’t ask about her but maybe...” you groaned, burying your face in your hands for a moment as you tried to gather your thoughts. “Why didn’t we stay in Florida?”
“Cause we both spent seven years talking about how much we wanted to come back to the OBX...and my dad-”
“Jay.”
“Look. My dad was an asshole okay, he was a fucking nightmare but you know better than anyone that not getting to see him at the end...that was the worst call I’ve ever gotten in my life. Knowing Ricky was the only one up here and that he was alone. You should do whatever you want to do and I’ll be there, right next to you, just like I’ve been for ten years, but I don’t want you to have any regrets.” JJ replied, honestly.
You nodded, looking down at the plate of food and pushing your fried rice around. You knew that JJ was still hurting, that gutting a house didn’t take away all the memories that were trapped inside. “God I hate when you’re right.” You sighed.
“Don’t let your dad hear you talk like that.” He teased just as the monitor went off again, this time for real. You leaned against the back of the chair and groaned as JJ stood up. “I got it.”
“No, it’s okay, I’ll get her.” You stood too. “You need a shower, and sleep.”
“I haven’t seen her all day,” JJ pointed out, following you down the short hallway to the bedroom that used to be his. It was painted in yellows and oranges now, with a crib and a rocking chair and baby books. A sunset mural painted on the wall from Kiara’s girlfriend and a chandelier of stars from Sarah.
“What are you gonna do, take her in the shower with you?” You joked, lifting the fussing baby up out of her crib, “hey bubba, what’s the matter?”
“You have to feed her right? So feed her in the bathroom.”
“Oh sure, Jay, that’s super comfortable for me. I would love to feed her while I sit on the toilet.” You grumbled, already knowing that you would probably, definitely end up caving to him and doing exactly that.
“I’ll put dinner away and do the dishes.” He promised, “and I’ll punch you’ll dad if he says anything to piss you off.”
#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x y/n#jj maybank fanfic#jj maybank x fanfiction#jj maybank fic#jj maybank fanfiction#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank x you#outer banks imagine#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks fanfic#outer banks fic#obx fanfic#obx fanfiction#obx fic#obx imagine#collecting stories imagine#you are ok series
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Hostage - Okkotsu Yuta
At first when I saw this my internal response was that there was nothing that I really wanted to write, no scenario that would warrant answering such a question. But I’ve given it time and well...what better thing to write than a horny for love delusional yandere? Gender neutral and Okkotsu in this has graduated from the school, I imagine him to be mid-20s 4.8k words
Content warnings: yandere shit(which in this context includes kidnapping, past stalking and being really fucking creepy), manipulation, noncon hand job
How long had you been here in this dark basement with only a red couch and a TV that wouldn’t turn on? There wasn’t a single window to tell you if it was day or night, no clock on the wall to say if it had been ten minutes or ten hours since you were kidnapped. You didn’t even know who could have taken you, knocked out from behind after hearing a mysterious voice.
There wasn’t a single lead to go on except for the fact that you would pass out from time to time and wake up to food on the low coffee table, hot meals that helped to soothe your otherwise empty mind and body for however short a time it allowed. Sometimes there would be candy stuffed into your pockets as well, candy that you never ate and let pile up in one of the corners of the room.
The door at the top of the stairs leading down to where you were stayed locked at all times and no amount of banging and screaming and trying to break it down worked. All your efforts were for nothing, you didn’t even make a scratch in the wood.
Whoever put you down here seemed too hesitant to show you their identity. You never heard anyone outside the door and whenever you thought you did, you would wake up however many hours later with food and no recollection of what happened before then.
Until today, when the door silently swayed open and there was the barely there tap of footsteps coming down to greet you. Scurrying behind the couch and crouching down, you were scared to finally meet your captor.
“Hello there.” He wasn’t at all what you imagined. A young man with noticeable bags under his eyes, hair with a few strands that fell into his face and an otherwise unassuming and slim build. His voice was soft and gentle like he was talking to a baby as he roused them from slumber.
He immediately noticed the way you were trying to stay away from him, making sure to keep the couch between you as he rounded it. A sad sigh left his lips, a short sound like he was already getting frustrated with what you were doing.
“Darling, why don’t you sit down? There’s a lot to discuss.” Gesturing toward the couch, he took a seat at the end. It was then that you noticed the sheathed sword he had on his back as he took it off and laid it on the table.
Your mouth hadn’t been used to speak to anyone in a long time, tongue heavy and foreign in your mouth. Having given up screaming for help a long time ago, you didn’t speak to anyone unless to yourself, and even then it had devolved to being just thoughts in your head.
So you shook your head no, trying to keep your sudden anxious breathing down to a minimum. You’d waited for this day to finally see who took you but now that he was here in front of you, just his presence brought you great stress.
“Are you feeling okay?” The man asked again, brows furrowing slightly. The look of genuine concern on his face is what caused you to speak, spiking anger in your heart.
“No!” You shouted, surprising both him and yourself.
“Why don’t you sit down, hm?” He patted the cushion next to him and you shook your head harder.
“No, no. L-let me go!” Tears were already beginning to collect in your eyes, some spilling out the sides. Were they from anger at being held captive? From how concerned he looked when he was the one who put you there? Was it from fear of what he could do to you? Perhaps hopelessness at the whole situation was starting to set into places you tried so hard to keep it out of.
“You shouldn’t yell, (Y/N), it’s not good for your throat.”
“What the fuck would you know.” Now anger was truly taking residency inside your chest, making it tighten with each pounding beat of your heart. This man had the nerve to call you by your first name as if he was a friend, the syllables rolling so smoothly off his tongue it sounded as if he had said it a hundred times.
“Don’t swear at me.” He snapped, face immediately going hard as he stared you down. The look made a shiver go down your spine, the anger quickly making space for fear to come as well. He sighed again, glancing at his sword before looking at you again. “Now please, won’t you sit down?”
This time when he asked, you listened. Hovering on the very edge of the cushion farthest from him, your entire body was painfully stiff and unyielding even to your own breathing. It was different when you were standing and he was sitting, it felt like there was a level of control that you still had.
But this felt like you were just a pitiful little rabbit with their neck caught right in a lion's mouth.
“Oh darling don’t cry, don’t cry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” His tone immediately shifted back to the soft and gentle one from earlier. Reaching his hand out, he stopped short of touching your arm when you curled yourself away. Putting his hand into a fist and tucking it back into his lap, he let out a sharp exhale. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t touch you, should I? You must be nervous now that I’m here.”
Sniffling and nodding were all you could do to answer him. Maybe there was a logical reason he might have taken you, there had to be a solution to whatever problem he had that involved you.
“It’s funny, I’d say. We’re soulmates and yet we’re still so nervous with each other.”
What?
“Why, it took me almost two weeks just to do this much! I finally stopped having Inumaki put you to sleep and-”
Huh?
“Before you know it this will all be a distant memory, we’ll be living together-”
“Wh-what the fuck.” Your voice was meek and trembling and there were fat tears streaming down your face that couldn’t be stopped now. Listening to this man go on and on about this life he’d made for the two of you all in his head was going to drive you insane.
“What was that?” He paused, a hopeful smile on his face. Glancing at him, you set your bleary eyes on the sword.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” As the swear left your lips, you flinched at his sudden inhale. “I-I don’t- I don’t know you. We’ve never met.” Burrowing your face in your hands was probably a bad idea, it was probably best to keep him in your line of sight, but you just couldn’t face him.
“Physically we’ve never met, but our hearts have. Our souls are connected, we just had to find each other.” There was a dip in the cushions and the ghost of his knee brushed yours.
“I don’t even know your name!” You croaked, further curling in on yourself by dropping your head to your knees. At this rate you were set to fall off the couch and onto the floor and you welcomed the reprieve not being next to him would bring.
“I’m Yuta. Yuta Okkotsu.” The first touch of his fingers on your shoulder made you yelp and jerk away, and you could imagine his hand hovering in the air. “But you can just call me your boyfriend, okay?”
“You’re fucking crazy.” Getting up from the couch the second time he touched you, you pressed yourself against the furthest wall next to a chess table with no pieces.
“Darling-”
“No, don’t fucking call me that!” Stamping your foot on the ground, you ignored his warning tone.
“(Y/N), I told you-”
“I don’t give a damn! I don’t want to be part of whatever bullshit you said earlier! Just- just let me go!” You were getting hysterical at this point, your whole body was hot and sweaty and your face was on fire. It was hard to hear anything over the ringing and pounding in your ears giving you headache.
Except you were able to hear the sound of a knife going through the air and feel it graze your cheek before sticking into the wall behind you. Everything fell away as you looked at the silver blade glinting in the harsh fluorescent light above you. There was just the tiniest hint of red at the edge, further proof that what you felt was real.
“I don’t mind you getting upset, I don’t mind you yelling and screaming at me. It’s a normal reaction to such a new situation.” Yuta’s low voice cut through the sudden silence and he stood up slowly, swaying slightly on his feet before planting them firmly on the ground. “But what I won’t have is such ugly words coming out of your mouth. That type of language doesn’t belong in a mouth as pretty as yours.”
He walked over to you slowly, building the tension with every step he took. It was then that you noticed, when he was only a foot away, that the silver of the knife matched the silver buttons on his shirt.
“If I have to remind you again, I promise I won’t miss.” Letting the sentence hang in the air, Yuta gave you a once over before grabbing onto your wrist and upper arm tightly and dragging you back to the couch. His strength was much more than you first assumed, there wasn’t a chance in hell that you could ever hope to wiggle out of his hold.
Sitting down with a huff, he pulled you onto his lap, forcing you to straddle him. Putting your hands on his shoulders, he settled his on your hips, making sure you were properly seated on his outstretched legs. Staring at the buttons on his shirt, you tried to avoid getting too close - keeping at least some semblance of an arms length between you and making sure your sex was far from his.
“This isn’t so bad, is it?” It was amazing how easily his mood shifted from one to the other. What had just been a quite heavy and intense moment was washed away by a little uptick of his lips and the tilt of his head to the side.
The things you wished to say were lodged in your mouth, waiting on the tip of your tongue for you to open up and let them fall out. But you couldn’t afford to keep testing his patience like this, not after what just happened.
“I suppose.” So you bite your tongue hard and say what you think will get you closer to getting out. Whatever it is he wants you can give him so long as it keeps him happy and lets you walk free.
“I knew you’d come around.” The smile on Yuta’s face takes proper form, pushing the apples of his cheeks up and wrinkling his eyes. One hand on your hips dares to venture further onto the small of your back. The warmth of his palm would be comforting in another setting.
“Y-yuta.” It almost makes you sick to say his name.
“Yes?” It makes his eyes light up.
“When will I get to leave?” Somewhere along the line you’d stopped crying and now only your eyes burned with the memory of the tears.
“When I know you’re ready, (Y/N).” He said softly, rubbing a hand on your back.
“Ready how?”
“I just want to make sure of a few things before we start our new life together. Is that okay?”
Did you really have a choice?
“What things?” You pushed, your fingers digging into his shoulders.
“Don’t worry about that right now. We’re together now and that’s all that matters.”
“Please tell me, I really want to know.”
“(Y/N).” He sang your name but it was anything but cheery. “I don’t want to talk about that right now, so drop it please.” Even though he was speaking his mouth barely moved, jaw locked tight in hardly hidden frustration.
“Okay.” You quickly let the subject go.
“Now darling…” Yuta brought a hand up to your face, trailing his fingers down your cheek softly. “Won’t you smile for me? You have such a pretty smile.”
The question of how he knew what your smile looked like cropped up in your head but you quickly stamped it out. Now wasn’t the time to worry about those things. Doing as he asked, you gave him your best smile.
“Absolutely gorgeous.” Skimming his thumb along your bottom lip, Yuta grasped your chin in his fingers. “I’ve been missing your smile so much lately, the recent missions I’ve been on have really put a damper on my mood.”
“I’m- I’m sorry to hear that.” Extending an olive branch wouldn’t hurt, right? It was clear he wanted your compliance in this scheme of his, desperate to have you love him. Your words shot straight into Yuta’s heart, making him bite his lip in to stop a shy giggle from coming out.
“It’s okay, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I have my darling with me.” A light blush went over his cheeks and Yuta let a sliver of the giggle out. “But there is something that would make me feel even better.”
“What’s that?” It didn’t take a genius to figure out what he meant when his thumb touched your lip again.
“A kiss. Just one, I promise.” Licking his own lips, Yuta grabbed onto your jaw more firmly. “I swear I’ll be gentle.” Weighing your options, the inkling that it wouldn’t be ‘just one’ was in the back of your head. But as long as it stayed just kissing, maybe you’d be okay.
“One.” You repeated, allowing him to pull you in and close the gap between you. Kissing Yuta was something that, once again, would feel nice in any other circumstance. The texture of his lips wasn’t bad, his breath didn’t smell and he seemed to know what he was doing. Maybe in another world, you really could have been soulmates.
Breaking the first kiss to take a short inhale, Yuta immediately went in for another. The hand that was on your jaw slid up to the back of your head, holding it firmly in his calloused hand to make sure you didn’t move.
“Y-yuta!” Whining against his lips, you tried to push away from him.
“Just one, I know! I know but-” He mumbled back, the tip of his tongue daring to touch your pursed lips. “I can’t help it, I love you so much.” Crushing you against him, Yuta got his tongue into your mouth when you gasped for air. The urge to bite him arose and you almost did, but he pulled away right as you made the decision to.
“You said only one!” Giving his chest a hard push, you wiped the spit off your lips in disgust.
“I know, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Putting his hands on your back, Yuta grimaced at you. “I’m sorry darling, I just got excited! I’ve been dreaming of kissing you for so long, can you blame me for wanting more?”
You could blame him for that and a few other things. Wiping your mouth off again, you huffed angrily and avoided his sorry eyes.
“Don’t do it again.”
“I won’t lie to you anymore, I promise.” Yuta mumbled, already forcing you closer again. “Let me make it up to you.”
“Yuta, no.” Shaking your head, you put a hand over your mouth. The blush that was on Yuta’s cheeks got darker and a hand gripped the back of your neck.
“It may be a bit soon, but there are other places where I can kiss you.” Latching his lips onto the side of your neck, Yuta sucked on the skin lightly. He didn’t want to leave any unseemly marks on you and he wouldn’t dream of using his teeth.
“Yuta, get off.” Tugging on his collar, you squirmed at the feeling. “P-please, Yuta, get off.” You were getting more desperate by the moment, accelerated by his lips going down the column of your throat and to the collar of your top.
“I just want to kiss you, (Y/N).”
“No, no I don’t-” As his head nudged your chin up, you started to sweat and really yank at the fabric in your hands. “I don’t want you to kiss me there, Yuta!” Your voice reached a crescendo and the soft sound of his kisses stopped. Pulling away slowly, Yuta kept his head ducked down.
“I’m sorry (Y/N), I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Releasing the hold on your neck, Yuta smooths his hand down your back once more and threads his fingers together at the base of your spine.
Struggling to catch your breath, you force yourself to relax and let your head dip down, uncurling the fingers fisting the fabric of Yutas shirt and letting the blood naturally flow back to them.
As the silent seconds tick by, there’s something that comes into your consciousness that can’t be ignored. There’s already a good amount of heat built up between you and Yuta from the kisses you shared and the struggle that ensued.
But was he that much of a repressed man that just kissing your lips and neck had his cock standing at half attention? It seemed so, because when you made a face at it, he chuckled sheepishly.
“Sorry.” Yuta wasn’t sorry for what was happening. He didn’t feel remorse for any of this, especially not the thing that was causing you distress now. It was only natural for such a reaction to occur! You were squirming so much on his lap while he kissed you that it was like you were begging him to get hard.
Gently raking his nails up and down your back, Yuta stared hard at your lips. His gaze almost pierced right through you and he wasn’t subtle about wanting another kiss. Another slurry of apologies left Yuta’s lips as he once again grabbed the back of your head and forced you to kiss him. His words got mushed together, spoken against your lips as he tried to work his tongue into your mouth.
Whatever screams of protest you had didn’t matter in this moment, Yuta was a man on a mission and desperate to take what was his. He felt bad about pushing your boundaries and ruining the chance of growing an actual relationship any time soon, but those were things he was willing to sacrifice.
And after all, good boyfriends help their partners grow in uncomfortable situations.
Moaning in a high pitch when your crotch just barely grazed his, Yuta took advantage of the fact you were too busy trying to push him away to focus on your lower half. Grabbing you tightly at the hips, he dragged you forward and fully pushed you against the front of his pants.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He panted as he moved your bodies in tandem, getting bolder and bucking his hips like a sad teenager dry humping for the first time. This continued for a while and you were sure he was going to cum when he suddenly stopped and flopped his head back against the couch.
Fervently wiping off your lips, the urge to slap him came over you in a blinding rage, and you quickly swiped your hand down. Fully expecting to make contact with his face, you put all the strength you could into the motion only to be stopped by Yuta grabbing your wrist.
“Hitting isn’t very nice, (Y/N).” He sounded like a disappointed preschool teacher and when you raised your other hand to try and slap him he caught that one as well. Holding both your wrists tightly in his grasp, Yuta stared at your heaving chest as he thought about what to do.
“Let me go.” You said, trying to tug yourself free.
“Sshh, I’m thinking.” His eyes wouldn’t leave your chest and he licked his lips. “I think I know a better use for your hands.” Letting go of one of them, Yuta was quick to go to the button on his jeans and undo them.
Your fingers were touching his clothed cock before you had a chance to protest. The speed Yuta moved at was dizzying and you seemed to be about 10 seconds behind him, left to scramble and catch up on whatever he’d done.
“Just a little, please?” Yuta whined and gripped your fingers around his cock, digging into the fabric of his dark underwear and outlining the shape of his cock.
“Yuta…” Back were the tears, a light misting this time that blurred your vision. It was gross touching him, even as the scent of a minty body wash rolled off him. This was gross, the heat from his cock and the way the skin moved beneath your fingers all felt horribly off.
“Just be good for me, (Y/N), I know you can do that.” Giving your lips a quick peck, Yuta let out a shaky exhale. His hand was holding yours so tightly your hand pulsed, throbbing from lack of circulation.
Touching him through his underwear quickly became not enough for Yuta and he hurriedly pulled his cock out, shoving his underwear down his thighs a bit to make more room. Unbuttoning the large overshirt he had on, Yuta let out another exhale as the sweat evaporated off his body.
“Are you shy? Here, touch it like this.” Gingerly now he wrapped your hand around his shaft, squeezing with just enough pressure to make sure you were really holding it. You tried to avoid looking at it, staring at the tanktop Yuta had on underneath his other shirt.
Tilting your head up, he kissed you gently as he worked your hand up and down his cock, slowly loosening his hold the longer he went until he was able to let go and you were still stroking him.
“I love you so much.” He whispered, breaking the kiss to press his forehead against yours. “So, so much.” You whimpered in response, keeping your eyes tightly closed to avoid looking at him. “I’ve followed you for so long now, it feels amazing to finally be here with you.”
“Followed?” You didn’t want to know, you didn’t want to know, you didn’t-
“Six months. For six long, agonizing months I watched you from the shadows. Making sure you were safe, following you home from work to make sure no one messed with you, going into your home when you weren’t there to make sure you didn’t have the stove on-”
“Stop.” Sniffling back another wave of tears, you shook your head. “I-I can’t, please-”
“You’re right, I’m killing the mood.” Chuckling softly, Yuta kissed at the corner of your eye. Putting his hand back on yours, he sped up the pace and bucked his hips up. “A-and I really don’t want to do that.”
Kissing you again lest he start rambling again, Yuta moaned freely into your mouth. He had dreamed of this moment and so many others, staying up late at night just fantasizing about you touching him and finally being in his arms.
To say he was pent up was an understatement. Ever since he saw you, Yuta vowed not to touch himself, wanting you to be the only one that gave him such pleasure. It was a painful wait, but every time he saw you he knew it was worth it - and it was. He was already nearing an orgasm and it hadn’t even been that long.
“Oh darling-” His face started to screw up and Yuta broke the kiss, putting his head on your shoulder and making your hand go faster. “God I love you, (Y/N)! I lo-love-” He was babbling now, unable to focus on any full sentence coming out of his mouth. “Say it- tell me.”
“Say what?” You asked, struggling to keep your breathing even as you felt him get closer to the edge.
“You love me. Tell me you- tell me you love me, even if it’s not true yet.” Yuta was so close it hurt, but he refused to cum unless you said those words.
“I-I-” The desire to not say it was strong, keeping you from really forming the words. It wasn’t true right now and it would never be true. You would never love Yuta for as long as you lived.
“Say it, say it please!” Yuta wailed, his other hand gripping your waist so hard you were afraid he was going to break something. “I love you so much, just say it back!”
“I love you! Yuta, I love you, okay?” His hold was really starting to hurt and as soon as you said it, he let go. “I love you, I love you.” You repeated over and over until his body locked up and he came with an almost sobbing moan.
“Oh god, darling, I love you.” Yuta wasn’t crying but he might as well have been. His hand stopped for a brief moment before continuing, coating the back of his hand and your fingers in his cum. He kept going until he was able to squeeze the last drop of cum out of him, swiping at the tip with his thumb until the sensation began to hurt.
It was too quiet now in the room without Yuta’s frantic breathing and mindless babbles. Taking deep, gasping breaths, he forced himself to calm down and let go of your hand, letting his softening cock fall down against him.
“Here.” In his pocket he had a handkerchief and Yuta wiped your hand clean, diligently going between the digits and getting every last pearly drop. Throwing it onto the coffee table, Yuta collapsed back onto the couch with a heavy sigh.
His face was impossibly blissed out, a dopey smile stretching his face and showing off his teeth. He couldn’t be happier in this moment, the weight of your body on his lap a constant reminder that this was real life, the reality that he had been dreaming of and striving for for so long.
The door he had entered from creaked open much faster than when he entered, and there were thundering footsteps descending the stairs quickly. Yuta immediately perked up, hugging you close to his chest as he turned over his shoulder to look at who came in.
“This is a surprise.” There was a tall, lanky man standing at the bottom of the steps, his white hair sticking up in all directions. You wondered how he could see with a blindfold on and Yuta seemed happy to see him.
“Gojo, hello!” Rushing to fix his pants, Yuta helped you off his lap and stood up.
“I see you’ve finally made yourself acquainted.” Gojo grinned, his head flicking towards you for a moment.
“Mhmm! We uh- we’re having a great time getting to know each other.” Yuta flushed, trying to not make it obvious that his pants had just been undone and that you’d just been jerking him off.
“Well I hate to break up a happy couple, but there’s a visitor here for you. I think you’re going to have another mission soon.”
“Really, so soon? I just-” Glancing at you, Yuta bit his tongue. “I’ll be back soon.” Grabbing his sword and the knife still stuck in the wall, Yuta gave you one more look before walking past Gojo and up the stairs. As soon as the door clicked closed, you shot up from the couch and walked around to Gojo.
“Please, you have to help me, get me out of here!” Clasping your hands together in front of you, you pleaded as hard as you could. “H-he’s absolutely crazy, please help me!” Unable to look Gojo in the eye, you could only assume he was looking back at you from the way his head moved.
“That’s not very nice, now is it?” He questioned, quirking a brow and crossing his arms. “Yuta loves you so much, you shouldn’t say those things about him.”
“Sir please, you don’t understand!” Shaking your head hard, you let out a frustrated groan. “I don’t belong here! He kidnapped me, don’t you understand?!” It felt like you were the only sane one left in the world. Gojo chuckled and sighed, placing a large hand on the top of your head and leaning forward.
“Actually, Yuta wasn’t the one that actually kidnapped you.” A soft ‘no’ escaped your lips and Gojo laughed again, drinking in the sinking feeling in your gut and the way it twisted your face in agony. “It was me.”
#tw: noncon#tw: yandere#jujutsu kaisen#okkotsu yuta#yuta okkotsu x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen scenarios#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen fanfic
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— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE FOUR || CURSE WOMB MUST DIE
↳ featuring : itadori yuji + fushiguro megumi + kugisaki nobara + ryomen sukuna + ijichi kiyotaka from jujutsu kaisen
↳ warnings : swearing + violence + mention of blood + mention of poison + EXTREME grammar issues
↳ form : story
↳ published : 23 february
↳ pronouns : she/her
↳ word count : 6.1k
↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....
↳ previous episode : girl of steel
↳ next episode : curse womb must die II
↳ barista’s notes : i am back again with another episode of jujutsu kaisen everyone ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆ i hope you guys haven’t gotten bored with this whole series, to be honest i forgot how long they take to write since it is a whole epsiode i am trying to retell with a new character in ʕ ㅇ ᴥ ㅇʔ ALSO i have created a masterlist for it as well as future stories i might write in the future! are you excited? ʕ→ᴥ← ʔ
BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:
1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only
2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter
2.5 for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique
Destructive Curse Spell number one: Sho : 3:26-3:34
Binding Curse Spell number eighty-one: Danku : 3:03-3:07
3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing
Shutting your dorm room door closed, you carefully wrapped yourself in the thin white cardigan you had brought out with you before quietly making your way outside the Jujutsu Tech dormitory wanting some form of fresh air due to your incapability to sleep for the time being.
As you began to walk around aimlessly, you quickly looked down upon your phone - nearly blinded by the brightness of the screen - to find out that it was exactly 2 am making you come to the conclusion that everyone was probably asleep and that no one would find you out for the time being.
To be honest, it wasn’t a surprise that you couldn’t sleep, it wasn’t like you never had these types of nights before. Although, they were becoming a bit more common than what you would have liked during your lifetime, especially at the age you were now where sleep was essential.
Finally making it to the track field (where you were supposed to be in the next few hours for training), you slowly crouched down to take a seat on the stone steps that lead to the tracks itself before cuddling into the warm cardigan since the light winds were slightly colder than what you have imagined.
‘It’s such a drag knowing that I have to be here, later on, to train with the second-years,’ you thought to yourself for a second before letting out a sigh of frustration, while running your hand through your hair as if it was some coping mechanism for the pending stress that was about to explode anytime soon.
“How long has it been?” you quietly uttered to yourself before looking onto the field as if there was something interesting insights or someone was going to answer your rhetorical question.
“A week? Two?” you continuously questioned yourself, before gently placing your hand on your upper arm as if you still felt the linger cursed technique you had used during the battle you had with him.
‘You possess such intellect, such skill, such power and such talent and yet you refuse to go against me with your full potential, are you mocking me?’
“Maybe,” you whispered your answer, before going back to the electronic device you had in your hand to open Spotify as you decided you needed something to fill up the silence with hint sounds of the wind, grasshoppers and passing cars that were surrounding you.
However, before you could press play on the chosen song you deemed was quiet enough to play out loud, there was a sudden presence your felt from behind causing you to raise your index finger to hit them with some sort of curse spell to warn them only for a familiar voice to call out.
“It’s just me”
Turning your body around, you found a tall male with erratic hair standing behind you with a non-expressive face before looking down at the dog that was right beside him with what some people say a happy grin on its face.
Turning back around, you shut your phone off before placing it in the pocket of your black joggers that you wore to bed, allowing the shikigami sorcerer to sit beside you with a gap while his divine dog took the opportunity to sit between the two bodies as it processed to rest it’s head on your shoulder, which you allowed since it was adorable not to deny.
“Can’t sleep?” you asked Fushiguro, as you processed to look onto the field while raising your hand to pet the dog’s head causing it to let out a happy sound before further resting itself upon your shoulder.
“Yeah..same for you?” Fushiguro then questioned, leading you to let out a hum in agreement to tell him you were in the same situation before silence took over between both you and him once again.
To be honest, the silence between you both wasn’t awkward at all, it surprisingly felt natural. Although, even if it was comfortable between you and Fushiguro, you both still have questions for each other, well rather Fushiguro had more questions for you than you had for him.
He just didn’t know where to start.
“L/N?” Fushiguro called out quietly (so quiet that some people might not be able to hear), leading you to turn your head towards his direction while his divine dog’s head covered your vision slightly. “How strong are you?” he then asked, causing you to express a confused look before turning back to the track field in front of you as if you were trying to find the right response to answer his question as if it wasn’t an easy one to reply to.
“Not that strong,” you replied in a nonchalant tone, leading Fushiguro to look at you with widened eyes as your returned response didn’t make any sense to him.
It really didn’t at all.
However, he didn’t have the strength to question your answer.
If he had listened to you back then, would your other classmate be alive with you all right now?
“Fushiguro?” you now called out causing the sorcerer to give you a hum informing you that he was listening in to what you had to ask or say.
“How long has it been since that day?”
ꕥ
The rain was currently pouring. However, it wasn’t too heavy nor was it too light but it was enough to make the mission that you, Itadori, Fushiguro and Kugisaki were assigned to be eerier than it considered to be.
“Our window verified the curse womb three hours ago,” a man, who you recalled was named Ijichi Kiyotaka, mentioned before continued with, “once ninety per cent were successfully evacuated, they made the call to seal off the centre, citizens within a 500-metre radius has been evacuated, as well”.
‘Only ninety per cent? That means either the other ten are missing in there…..or dead’
“Ijichi-san, question,” Itadori stated before raising his hand as if he was in a classroom asking a teacher a question, “what’s a ‘window’ here?”
“A window is a member of Jujutsu Tech who can see curses, they aren’t sorcerers, though,” Ijichi explained as his arms were behind his back in a professional manner.
“Oh, okay,” Itadori muttered, as he understood the explanation that was given to him.
“Let’s continue,” Ijichi quickly stated as it seemed he had more information to be given to all four of you.
“Detainee Block 2, at present, five detainees remain there with the curse womb, if this curse womb is the type that metamorphoses, we predict it will become a special-grade cursed spirit,” Ijichi announced in a serious tone causing you, Fushiguro and Kugisaki to express a stern look upon your faces.
‘Special-grade? Wouldn’t they make a special-grade sorcerer take the job instead of us? Unless….’
“Hey, so...I still don’t really understand what ‘special grade’ means,” Itadori expressed with an innocent face as he looked at the three of you leading Fushiguro and Kugisaki to give him the fed-up look, while you just shifted your eyesight at your classmate since you understood why he didn’t understand any of the terminologies that were thrown at him, your adoptive father wasn’t the best teacher when it came to non-practical work after all.
“Then allow me to explain it so even idiots can understand,” Ijichi stated as if he was calling Itadori an ‘idiot’ causing you to zone out of the quick lesson to look at the detention centre that was in front of everyone right now. From what you could sense, there was an overwhelming presence beginning to loom over from the building that the other sorcerers didn’t seem to feel causing you to look at Itadori will a worried expression since you knew he didn’t have control of the newfound cursed energy he had gained from eating Sukuna’s finger.
Looking around to make sure no one noticed you, you quietly went up to Itadori from behind before hovering your hand over the back of his neck before using your cursed energy for the spell you were trying to prepare for him in advance.
‘This should protect him for one hit if we come into a surprise attack, but there is nothing else I can do without the other’s noticing’ you thought in a frustrated mindset before silently taking a step back to where you were previous to make sure no one noticed that you had planted a protective spell on your classmate.
“That’s real bad!” Itadori shouted, causing you to zone back into the conversation that was in the process.
“Normally a jujutsu sorcerer on par with the cursed spirit would take on the mission. On a day like today, that would be Gojo-sensei,” Fushiguro explained into further detail, while Kugisaki seemed to now paint a worried expression on her face.
“I-I see,” Itadori stuttered as he looked at the erratic-haired sorcerer before looking around as he then asked, “so where is Gojo-sensei?” which made sense since none of the sorcerers in front of you had ever fought with a special-grade from what you could sense.
“Away on business,” Fushiguro answered in a serious tone, which caused Itadori to give him a confused look as he then stated, “he’s not someone who should be loafing around that school in the first place,”.
‘But that doesn’t explain why four first-years have been sent to deal with this situation...”
“Unfortunately, we’re constantly short-handed in this business, you’ll often have to undertake missions beyond your power,” Ijichi expressed as he pushed up his glasses. “The current case, however, is an abnormal one, and most urgent. Do not fight under any circumstances, if you encounter a special-grade, your options are to either run or die,” Ijichi then stated with a serious tone leading you to internally scoff at the warning he gave.
‘That’s easier said than done’
Even though you knew he cared about the safety of everyone that was preparing to go in, it was ridiculous to say to any sorcerer not to fight since once you knew once you encountered a curse, there was no way of getting out of the fight at all, you knew that from experience.
“Please just listen to your fears, do not forget that your mission here is strictly the verification and rescue of survivors,” Ijichi repeated.
“Sorry, but as we are talking those ‘survivors’ in there are most likely dead, there is only a one to five per cent chance that there are any survivors,” you commented with a straight face causing all three of your classmates to look at you with a surprised expression on what you just said, but before anyone could deny your statement.
“Excuse me! Excuse me, where’s Tadashi?!” a worried voice cried, causing everyone to look, only to find a woman waving her hand while guards tried to push her back, preventing her to come any closer to all of you.
“Is Tadashi...Is my son Tadashi all right?!” the woman asked in a panic, leading you to give her a sympathetic look before you slowly walked up to her with a calm expression on your face.
‘If someone asks if someone is okay at the beginning of the mission, take it like a way a doctor calms down a patient or how a police officer informs the public about a case, dear. Imagine it from your perspective, you would want to know if I was okay, wouldn’t you?’
‘Yeah, I would mother’
“Ma’am, we are going inside to see if there is anyone else in the building, if we find your son, we will inform you as quickly as we can, is that okay with you?” you gently asked the worried mother since you needed to calm her down in the worst-case scenario that you, your classmates and she had to prepare for.
Looking at you straight in the eye, she timidly nodded at you causing you to present her with a small smile to help calm her down further. “Please, I need you to step away for the time being since there is a possibility that someone has spread a poisonous gas throughout the centre, but I can not give you any more detail than I can offer,” you explained to her causing the mother’s expression to turned into a shocked one before dropping onto her knees as she grew numb.
“Please find my son,” she begged quietly as tears flowed down her face.
“We’ll try our best ma’am,” you answered her before turning back to your classmates as they looked at you with amazed faces since it seemed like you had done this a million times before - like a profession.
‘Let’s hope that one to five per cent change is in your favour’
“Fushiguro, Kugisaki, Gojo, we’re gonna save them!” Itadori announced in a determined tone causing everyone to turn to him with a determined expression on their faces.
“Of course we are,” Kugisaki answered.
ꕥ
All four of you were now walking towards the entrance of Eushi Detention Centre’s Detainee Block 2 after you have given your black cloth bag that was holding your katana for Ijichi to hold since there was no need to hide the weapon anymore.
“Be careful,” Ijichi said, before raising his fingers to prepare the sleeve that was needed to consume the detention centre, so the outside world didn’t see what was going on inside.
Suddenly, a dark blue aura was cast onto the middle of the sky before slowly descending on all sides like a dome covering a plate of food causing the sky to darken to Itadori’s surprise.
“It’s becoming night!” Itadori shouted as he took a full preview of what was going on, leading Fushiguro to take a glance behind him to inform his obvious classmate that it was the veil Ijichi was placing.
“There’s a residential area nearby, so the barrier conceals us from the outside world,” Fushiguro explained, leading Itadori to express his amazement while Kugisaki gave him the irritated look as well comment since it was basic sorcerer knowledge to know what a veil was.
Suddenly, you heard a loud clap that echoed around the area causing you to look in the direction on where you heard it, only to see Fushiguro’s hands be in a position that was familiar to you.
“Demon Dog!” Fushiguro said before a shower suddenly took form from his to summon the white divine dog that you knew so well from the first time you met him to appear as it howled in response. “He’ll let us know if the curse gets close,” Fushiugro informed you all as the dog looked in his master’s direction.
“Oh, I see!” Itadori said in a light tone before he made his way towards the shikigami to pet it’s snow-white while chanting ‘good boy’ to it as he then expressed his gratitude for its support. However, it seemed like the dog was interested in something else as it stood up on its back legs to make its way towards you before whining as if it wanted something from you.
Looking down at the dog that was now staring at you with its yellow eyes, you couldn’t help but rub its head leading it to relish your affection that you were giving it as it moved it’s head further into your palm as if it can get more out of you.
“I think it’s time to go to Fushiguro don’t you think?” you asked the dog in a light tone, causing it to whine for a moment before going back to its master so it was prepared for the mission that it was about to undertake.
Pushing the door open, Fushiguro and Itadori were in front while Kugisaki and you were behind as everyone prepared themselves for what they were about to go into. “Let’s go,” Fushiguro stated before taking the first step leading the dog to follow in next as well for the rest of you.
However, before you took one step closer into the building you realised something was not what it seemed. From what you can recall, according to Ichiji, the building was said to be a two-story dorm and not the one, you were standing in front of right now, there was no possible way, it was too high up.
‘It’s not a maisonette, it’s too advanced for that,’ you thought as you continued to analyse the surroundings before concluding what you had dreaded, ‘it’s an incomplete Innate Domain, meaning the curse has already fully developed!”
“Hold up!” you shouted at the three sorcerers behind you causing them to pause before turning to look at you, only to find you staring up which led them to do the same leading them to realise why you had halted their movements in the first place.
“Right now, we’re in the middle of the development of an Innate Domain! Is there a door behind me?” you asked in a panic, causing everyone to look at you, only to discover the door had disappeared.
“Th-The door’s gone!” Itadori mentioned in a surprised tone causing you to look at him with widened eyes before turning around to only discover he wasn’t lying to you at all.
‘Shit! How the hell am I going to get everyone back safely? They don’t know how to deal with a special grade from what I can tell, let alone an incomplete Innate Domain’
“How?! We just came in through here, didn’t we?!” Kugisaki mentioned in a stutter as she pointed at the direction where the door should have been while Itadori nodded at her with a few cold sweats dripping down his face.
“What do we do? Ah, what do we do about this?” Itadori and Kugisaki sang as they danced in circles, in a way trying to ease their stress and the tension that came along with the whole situation nearly causing you to giggle at the sight.
“It’ll be fine, the dog remembers the scent of the entrance,” Fushiguro interrupted as he looked annoyed at the two dancers, while the mentioned dog looked back to check on everyone.
“Oh, my~” Itadori and Kugisaki warmheartedly expressed before they started to pet the dog once their mood was lifted with them shouted how they were going to give him jerky later and how much of a ‘good boy’ it was, letting the dog once again relish in the attention that it was being present with.
“You are way too calm!” Fushiguro angrily expressed at two since the mood didn’t match the setting they were in at all.
“You really are dependable, Fushiguro!” Itadori expressed with a grin causing Fushiguro to snap out of his anger. “Thanks to you, we’ll be able to recuse people and save ourselves, too!” Itadori then commented, leading Fushiguro to look at the ground before you suddenly decided to take the first step of carrying on since you were being cautious with the three other sorcerers with you.
‘How long has it been since I faced a special-grade in a fight?’
“Let’s keep moving,” the shikigami user commanded in a stern voice since he saw you making the first way through, letting the other two know that they needed to start moving as well.
While walking, there were the eerie echoes of your footstep causing you to wonder where the actual curse was before entering what seemed to be the centre of the domain. However, you suddenly paused leading the other three to wonder why you came to a halt before looking at the sight that you were looking in the direction of.
Being the first one to react, Itadori rushed to what seemed to be someone’s body - well half of it - and maybe as the second victim since there was a full skeleton that was seemed to be curled up in an excruciating way next to the main body causing you to give your condolences to whoever the person was before observing the area around you to make sure the mention special-grade curse wasn’t near at all.
“Atrocious,” Kugisaki commented in disgust as she stared at the corpses insight.
“That’s...three people, right?” Fushiguro questioned as he quickly took note of how many more victims or survivors there could be - if there were any at this point.
Crouching down, Itadori didn’t answer his classmate’s question, as he then tugged on the detention centre’s dark blue uniform to check the person’s identification, only to realise something that he didn’t want to happen.
“Let’s take this body back,” Itadori suddenly stated, causing confusion to rise within the group since they didn’t know what caused the salmon-haired boy to comment something like that.
“Huh?” Kugissaki asked in confusion.
“It’s that woman’s son,” Itadori regretfully stated, causing you to close your eyes before letting out an internal sign of disappointment before coming to the realisation that you weren’t really surprised at the outcome.
‘Sorry, Ma’am, it seemed the one to five chance wasn’t with you for today’
“But…” Kugisaki slowly stuttered out before being interrupted by Itadori as he then explained that the victim’s face wasn’t mangled and that they still had to give the body back to the mother since it wouldn’t be hard to accept that fact without the body, yet before he could carry on with the plan he was unexpectantly coming up with, he felt someone pull him back by the hood causing him to be surprised at the sudden movement.
“We have to find and verify two more, leave that body behind,” Fushiguro once again commanded, which caused Itadori to shout at him back as he didn’t understand why the body should be left behind.
“Quit joking around! We turned around, and the way we got in here was gone! We won’t be able to come back for it later!” Itadori stated.
“I didn’t say come back for it! I said to leave it behind!” Fushiguro argued back in the same volume of tone, trying to make Itadori understand the situation that they were in and it was not possible to bring the body back at all - there was no point to him. “I have no intention of risking my own life to save someone I had no intention of saving in the first place!” Fushiguro frustratingly stated, only leading Itadori to grab his collar in return as a way to rebuke.
“No intention of saving him? What do you mean?!” Itadori asked in a perplexed tone, confused on what Fushiguro meant when it was their mission to save the remaining survivors that might be in the centre right now.
“This is a juvenile detention centre, Jujutsu sorcerers are granted access to all information about the scene beforehand,” Fushiguro declared before continuing his explanation by stating, “this Okazaki Tadashi hit a little girl on her way home from school while driving without a license, it was his second offence of driving without a license,” leading Itadori to look at his friend in vexation and surprise at the news he was receiving about the man he was going to ‘save’.
“I know you’re stuck on saving lots of people and guiding them to proper deaths, but what are you going to do when someone you saved kills someone else in the future?” Fushiguro asked with a stern tone trying to make his point of view understandable to the boy in front of him.
“Then why did you bother saving me?!” Itadori cried out, as a way to rebuke his statement due to the situation of him being the vessel of Ryomen Sukuna, only to gain nothing but silence from the shikigami user in front of him as he tightened the grip on the collar he was grabbing.
“Oi stop being such drags, I didn’t come to Jujutsu Tech to hear your reasons for being a jujutsu sorcerer, get moving!” you demanded in a menacing tone before unhooking your katana that was secured on your lower back horizontally, preparing to use the weapon to separate them.
“Cut it out! Christ, what are you two doing?! You’re both idiots” Kugisaki shouted in equal frustration with you, as she made her way towards the two boys with her fists in the air.
“Think about the time and place if you-”
However, before she could continue the angry rant, she was suddenly sucked into the floor causing you to quickly react by trying to grab her hand, only to be too late when she was fully consumed into the hole that was created.
“Kugisaki?” Itadori called out in confused, only for Fushiguro to become shocked at the new situation that had occurred before turning forwards to see the sudden and dreadful outcome of his divine dog that was supposed to detect if any curses were near leading you to look at the same direction before suddenly feeling a presence of what you should have felt earlier.
‘If those two drags didn’t distract me with their argument, we shouldn’t have to worry about our wellbeing right now!’
“Itadori! L/N! We’re running, we’ll search for Kugisaki la-” Fushiguro panic before you suddenly screamed at both of them.
“DON’T MOVE!” you screamed, once you suddenly made eye contact on the curse that was standing right in near them, causing you to grip on your katana tighter as all three of you stayed completely still while you were coming up with a plan to see if you could put a distance between the curses and your classmate.
Suddenly, you saw Itadori’s shaky hand reach over to his weapon as he unleashed it from the leather casing before violently swinging it to cut the curse in some way, only for the sudden decapitation of his hand to be the result of his attempt causing massive amounts of blood to spill like a fountain.
“Itadori?” Fushiguro's voice shook while you were in the opposite of that mood right now.
Swiftly, you slide your feet around, landing between the boys before raising your katana making sure the tip on the black wooden casing was pointing at the special-grade curse’s face.
“Destructive Curse Spell number one: Sho,” you chanted, causing your curse energy to travel from your arms to the length of your sword before a small shot of cursed energy to thrust its force against the curse’s face leading it to be violently pushed back against the concrete wall before turning towards Itadori with an angered expression, “I told you not to move and you decide to go against me!” you screamed in frustration before quickly turning back to look at the direction on where the special grade was flung in a confused but equally concentrated manner.
‘That curse spell isn’t even that strong, it’s my weakest, yet it managed to make it fly across the room, is it really a special grade by nature…..or did it eat something?’
“I can’t escape after it’s gotten this close! Hey, Sukuna! If I die, you die too, right?” Itadori determinedly asked, causing you to look at him with a startled expression.
‘Does this guy have a death warrant? Are you even listening to me?!’
“If you don’t want that, then help me out!” Itadori commanded leading you to further look at him like he was the craziest person in the world right now.
“Are you stupid?!” you screamed, only for Itadori to ignore you as Sukuna’s eye and mouth appeared on his cheek.
“Nope! Even if the parts of me inside you die, there are eighteen other fragments of my soul. Still, irritatingly enough, I don’t have control of this body, if you want to switch, go ahead and switch,” Sukuna taunted as he continued with his threats, “but once you do, I’ll kill that brat before the cursed spirit can, then I’ll go for that woman, she’s a lively one, I’ll have fun with her then I’ll go to her right there, she seemed like someone that knows how to fight,” leading you to place your weapon inches away from his eye.
“Stop talking, you’re making me lose concentration Sukuna,” you stated in a nonchalant tone before going back to find an explanation on why your cursed technique managed to give so much force to the special grade that was now starting to stand back up on its feet.
“I’m not going to let you do that!” Itadori declared in an inflamed tone, only for the King of Curses to taunt back without any hesitation.
“I bet! But if you’re too focused on me, your friends are gonna die,” Sukuna teased, causing you to look at the small eye and mouth with an annoyed look on your face.
“I said stop talking, you’re making me lose concentration,” you threateningly stated, only to suddenly realise that the special-grade was about to attack once again, leading to your cursed energy to flow from the palm of your hands to the tip of your fingers as your placed you left hand up like you were stopping someone.
“Binding Curse Spell number eighty-one: Danku!” you chanted, leading to the familiar large rectangular defensive wall to form in front of you, Itadori and Fushiguro, protecting you from cursed energy that the special-grade it was about to attack you with, but the concrete that wasn’t behind the wall didn’t seem to survive since the concrete turned into debris leaving evidence of its strength for you and Fushiguro to observe.
‘Pure cursed energy? So it doesn’t have any cursed techniques….ah what a drag…’ you concluded before turning to Fushiguro only to see him with widened eyes to that attack causing you to predict that he also thought the same thing as you.
“Fushiguro! Fushiguro! Fushiguro!” Itadori yelled out, trying to get the skikigami user’s attention before his third call caught his awareness as he turned to look at the screaming boy. “Take L/N and Kugisaki and get out of here!” Itadori demanded, causing you to look at him once again with an astonished look on your face, yet before you could grab his red collar in a way to argue his point, Itadori continued with, “I’ll keep this one bust until you three are out, as soon as you’re out, give me some kind of signal and once you do...I’ll switch with Sukuna,” to which Fushiguro screamed at his reckless plan. However, you were too focused on the curse in front of you, wondering why it was considered a special-grade then it took some sort of damage from a weak technique of yours.
As of right now, the curse seemed to be enjoying itself even when you managed to damage it and deflect its attack with two simple cursed spells. There was no point in letting your katana out of its wooden casing, it wouldn't be able to take the damage but there was the situation with Kugisaki being somewhere in the building as well, so there was a risk of taking your weapon out.
‘It’s definitely ate something, but what? There is a chance that it is Sukuna’s finger but that’s rare, besides it seemed like the fool hasn’t sensed anything from it to be his finger’
However, before you could even prepare your next attack to exorcise the curse to end the life and death situation Itadori and Fushiguro were in, you surprisingly felt someone grab your wrist before pulling you away from the battle that you had started leading you to look at the culprit to find out it was Fushiguro, who was dragging you away from the situation.
“What are you doing?!” you shouted before trying to pry your hand away from his grasp, only for him to tighten his hold in a way to not let you escape.
“We’re running, we need to find Kugisaki before giving Itadori the signal to get out of there,” Fushiguro explained in a stressed manner leading you to scream back at him on the thoughtless decision that had been made without your input.
“Are you crazy? You need to take back Itadori and let me fight that curse Fushiguro, he won’t be able to survive at all!” you yelled out in anger.
“Are you the crazy one? We don’t know what grade sorcerer you are and you want to exorcise that thing?!” Fushiguro argued back.
“So what makes Itadori capable? He doesn’t know how to control cursed energy or any techniques, TAKE ME BACK!” you panicked, only for his grip to tighten more at your comment of going back.
No one words were exchanged.
ꕥ
Within a flash, you and Fushiguro managed to grab Kugisaki before she was devoured by the curse she was fighting against while both of you were trying to find her.
At this current moment in time, you were outside the exit with Kugisaki in Ijichi’s arm, Fushiguro on the floor tired from running while you were standing behind the other divine dog that was giving Itadori the signal. However, even though you knew the signal was for Itadori to switch with Sukuna, you were conflicted on the idea leading your body to move forward towards the entrance to enter again.
However, you were stopped by the black dog using its body to push you back, once it was done with the signal it was giving to Itadori.
“Stop it!” Fushiguro stated as he stood up to put his arm in front of you to prevent you from moving forward. However, you were angry, pissed off and frustrated at this point.
“You should have listened to me, you drag!” you screamed at him before gripping the arm that was blocking your path. However, while you were looking at the erratic-haired sorcerer with pure rage in your eyes, Fushiguro was startled about the immense amount of cursed energy that was surrounding you as he was shocked that he didn’t notice it earlier when he had met you, it was alarming and intimidating to him as he didn’t even stand a chance to dominant his over you, it extended in power and strength than he had ever thought it would have.
How did you hide it so well?
ꕥ
Currently, you were at the gated entrance to the Eushi Detention Centre, where you had laid Kugisaki down at the back seats of the car before closing the door to stand in the rain with Fushiguro - much to your annoyance.
“Please explain the evacuation area to ten kilometres,” Fushiguro stated in a serious tone since he didn't know what could happen next since Itadori was still inside the building. Expanding the evacuation area was the best thing to do right now.
“What about you and Gojo?” Ijichi asked in a worried tone as he turned to look at you both through the gap on the window of his car.
“We’ll wait here for Itadori to return,” you stated in a serious tone to which Ichiji understood since you were so adamant to enter back to the building despite the many attempts Fushiguro tried to stop you.
“After I take Kugisaki-san to the hospital, I’ll return as quickly as possible,” Ijichi declared, only for Fushiguro to give a discouraged look to him before stating, “no, there wouldn’t be much point in you-”
“I need you to come back but I want you to stay at least one kilometre away from the evacuation area, at this rate if Itadori has switched, I want you to be as safe as possible but in the end, if you don’t hear from us at least an hour when you come back, go back to Jujutsu Tech immediately,” you interrupted Fushiguro by pushing your body in front of him while giving Ijichi the instructions you needed him to hear since you didn’t know the possible outcome that this was going to go to.
“If you can, please send a grade one sorcerer or higher but that won’t be necessary if I don't die,” you sternly commented, leading both Fushiguro and Ijichi to shiver at the statement you just announced.
Still shaken at what you had just said, Ijichi sent himself off before closing the window to prevent any cold raindrops from coming at him as he drove away from the area you and Fushiguro were standing in right now.
“If you don’t want to listen to me, I ain’t going to listen to you at all then Fushiguro,” you stated with a frown painted on your face before looking back at the building behind his body.
Taking your katana, you looked at the bottom of the handle to find a metal loop at the bottom with a red charm tied before it was simply slowly unwinded by you as you prepared for the worst that was about to come.
“What are you doing L/N?” Fushiguro asked in a worried tone, causing you to turn to look at him with a deadpan expression.
“Just preparing for the worst Fushiguro”
© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen imagine#jjk imagines#jjk imagine#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#itadori yuji#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#kugisaki nobara#nobara kugisaki#ryomen sukuna#sukuna#ijichi kiyotaka#kiyotaka ijichi#itadori yuji x reader#fushiguro megumi x reader#kugisaki nobara x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x reader#itadori yuji imagines#itadori yuji imagine#fushiguro megumi imagines#fushiguro megumi imagine#kugisaki nobara imagines#kugisaki nobara imagine#ryomen sukuna imagines
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So as I said I would like to make a post as to why I’m thinking about deleting this account before like I said I was dead set on it but now I’m not sure but here are a few reasons for why I’m contemplating it
Number one Im really wishy washy one moment I’ll be so confident in a plot or a story but as I post it I feel like it’s not good enough or I could have done better than I start getting these irrational thoughts like it’s bad or embarrassing and finally I get to the point where I stop writing (hints my 40 drafts)
Another reason is feeling like I have to rush something out even though no one demands me to write and post for some reason I feel obligated or I’m gonna lose readers if I don’t like I said I know I’m the only one that feels that way buts it’s a big hindering point for me
Something else is when I don’t get many comments or asks I feel unimportant like I put a lot of time work and effort for little feedback which is once again all in my head cause you all are literally the best and even if I had just one follower that enjoyed my writing I’d continue for them cause the joy I feel when someone tells me that my writing makes their day is immeasurable
Also I really don’t have any friends on here like there’s no one that I talk to or have connected with and that plays into another on of my problems is that it may seem stupid but I miss my older readers not saying I don’t like my new followers just as much but it’s different when you kinda get to know someone and then they’re are just gone which also makes me feel like a hypocrite cause I’m literally thinking about leaving
Anyways it all sounds really ridiculous if you think about it I mean I just made this account to write but I didn’t know what others things I’d encounter here but the best way I can describe it is I feel lonely and I think that was one of the main reasons for my lack of motivation but I can’t blame anyone cause you all have lives going on and they don’t stop just cause someone posts a fic on tumblr
So those are the more app base problems that I have but as for life in general it’s been really tough all around when I made this account I was only part time but as months went by people from my job quit so I was able to pick up more hours and more hours means more money now typically forty hour jobs are the norm but for me it’s been really tough cause I got hired in October (the day before heeseung’s birthday lol hehe anyways) and my immune system is very weak so I was shifting between first and third shift till October so you could imagine what that was like and it’s still not that much better because of this I don’t eat on proper schedule cause I get home and im so tired I just fall asleep and miss dinner leaving only one meal a day which is lunch with all that being said I’ve lost a significant amount of weight and energy overall so I think that also has a lot to do with my mental status I’ve really just been completely out of it today I was just on auto pilot and it felt terrible cause I had no control over how I feel
I have a lot of emotional stress and family issues that are really bad but I will not talk about that here I typically take out my stress by working and doing things which is the worst way to cope cause my body can not take all the stress I endure nor my mind I’ll usually workout or work extra hard and push myself beyond the limit cause somehow that makes me feel hopeful and motivated to not give up it’s weird but it works
It’s also weird to talk about this here but I feel everyone deserves an explanation for why I feel like leaving
A big problem of mine I’m a huge people pleaser like to an extent that’s almost troubling so I always try my best to accommodate everyone and guess who that leaves on the back burner
Me
And that’s a big problem cause I should always put myself first but I didn’t as I stated before I wrote two of my favorite stories “popcorn” and “angel” angel took ten hours while popcorn took about seven “train ride home” also falls into the category of works I made in just one day I was so excited to post them for everyone hoping it would get a good response and to please my readers at the expanse of me using my whole day off just to write one fic
Overworking has been my downfall since I can remember like I mentioned some time ago I work till the point of satisfaction I push myself to the limit to test myself even if I know I can do it I still have to put my body under some type of physical pain until I’m satisfied an example of this would be a few years ago I used to do sprinting I still do just not as often but I was so driven to beat my previous record that I was out till midnight I ran the same course too many times to count so many times I gave myself a cramp and still kept going I didn’t stop until I beat my record with a cramp and all
This leads me to my stubbornness I just can’t stop even with writers block I continually try to write stories that’s why I didn’t feel like taking a break was an option cause if I know myself I’d just go back and back time and time again in the past I mentioned taking breaks but I never really did I just didn’t post for awhile behind the scenes I was still in fact writing
After awhile I think the positive feedback really kept me wanting to post something about the notifications was almost like an addiction so I kept posting and posting till I eventually went through everything all my plots and idea’s poof gone but I still wanted to please everyone so I continued to post even when I felt it was sub par
I only have a few works I’m proud of but I still beat myself up cause they could have been better overall it’s just I don’t know how to explain it or what’s going on it even feels strange to me one minute I’m up next minute I’m down I think there’s a lot of things to attribute this to such as my lifestyle and just getting older but who really knows
Ultimately the biggest reason is I just feel like I’m not good enough I think that’s what it really boils down to unfortunately I know I’m way too hard on myself and it’s really not this deep but I can’t help it I wanted to share this with everyone to let you know that I really tried my best
And when my best isn’t good enough I can’t help but feel disappointed with myself I’m a perfectionist as well so that doesn’t help my situation in conclusion I’m having a mental battle with myself I think if I can get in tune with my body and mind I could come back stronger and better but as of right now that’s going to take all my effort I am currently working on all these problems I mentioned
Even though it was very tough for me to share my mind with the world it has also been healing and a great experience at times I’m glad there’s a platform for like minded people to meet without any judgement and hostility I’m greatful to everyone who has followed my tumblr journey all I can say is I love you all🤎
Sincerely your hee simp president
#feels a little better to say a few of these things#but as I mentioned saying how I feel is so fucking hard bro#i keep my emotions to myself for so long I don’t know how to let them out and that fucking sucks big man ass tbh🤣#if you made it to the end thank you for your time#once again I love you all so much🤎#the time I spent with everyone here was the absolute best just a reminder that you are all amazing all twelve hundred and fifty of you 🤎
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