#like i have some readers who want matt and jane to one day have an army of tiny enhanced humans

[cowgurrrl]

Some way some how Joel and reader in lftl are able to take each other back to their homes from before. For closure and memories. They both are just two people who miss their babies. And now they get pictures and cards from their homes. Another little piece of Sarah and Jane to go back to jackson.

Hello do you have access to my wips I was literally working on this!! I wrote this more about reader going back to their last apartment because @hier--soir has an amazing fic about Joel going back to Texas and it's absolutely gorgeous <3 anyways, I hope you enjoy!! this made me CRYYYY

Never Grew Up With You

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author's note: Jesus Christ I haven't cried at a fic like this in a LONG time I'm genuinely exhausted

Summary: "To never see her face again is what grief is." — Euripides, translated by Anne Carson, Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides aka this ask [1.5k]

Warnings: talks of Jane, memories, oh it's so sad

It's eerie being back in that town. It's empty, but the remnants of Outbreak Day linger in the streets— decomposed bodies, crashed cars, craters where the bombs hit. You recognize bits and pieces. The downtown area which used light up with Christmas lights and smell like funnel cake during the winter months. The church where you lied on the application form so Jane could get into daycare. Your apartment building. You stop in front of it, Joel at your side, and look up at it. 

It looks smaller than you remember it like maybe you romanticized the shithole after so many years of living in a worse shithole. Only a few windows still have glass, and you catch faded curtains flapping in the abandoned apartments. "Mommy, look!" Jane had yelled that day so you could catch the jets flying over the building. You were standing in the same area you are now. Your heart clenches, and Joel seems to feel it at the same time.

"Are you sure bout this?" He asks, and you nod. "I'll be right here with you the whole time. We can leave whenever you want." You don't answer him. You just take a deep breath and start walking toward the stairs—bullet holes and rusty, dried blood line the path up to your third-floor apartment, but other than that everything is the same. There's even still a flyer on the bulletin board advertising an apartment-wide potluck set the week after Outbreak Day. Jane wanted to go. She said her friends were going and she wanted you to meet them. You said you'd think about it.

When you reach the top of the stairs, you find your apartment door still open and immediately regret not closing it. What if there's nothing left? What if it's been raided? What if it's all destroyed? You push yourself forward until you're over the threshold and back into the life you left behind. The body of the runner who burst into your apartment that night is still there, grey and all but dust at this point. Dirty plates sit in the sink. Jane's kindergarten homework has slid off the table and onto the floor, her scribbly handwriting boring holes into you. You pick it up despite it having boot marks and ripped edges and stare down at how she wrote her name. Joel doesn't say anything, but he squeezes your shoulder and lets you know he's there.

Together, you silently move through the rooms and salvage whatever you find. In your room, you find ratty old clothes from 2003, medical textbooks, and a file full of important documents shoved under your bed. Among the papers are your tax forms, a copy of your college diploma, and Jane's birth certificate— the only physical proof that she was ever here. Jane Eloise born April 7th, 1998, to you and no one else. Somehow, the glaring absence of Matt's name on her birth certificate still makes your stomach turn. You find a few more keepsakes before moving to the living room.

Whatever might've been there has been taken or destroyed by whoever's been in the building in the last twenty years. The blankets and pillows that once lived on your couch are gone. Your TV has been smashed in. The shoes Jane always left in the middle of the floor have disappeared, probably taken by some other parent who was desperate and was too scared to think of the child who left them. You're about to walk down the hallway to the bathroom and Jane's room when something crunches under your foot. You look down, and all the air gets punched out of your chest. As gently as possible, you bend down to pick up the shattered picture frame and stare at it. 

It was a picture taken by a friend at the county fair. Jane is on your right with a half-eaten blue cotton candy in her hand and a water bottle tucked under her arm. Her hair is in a braid, and there's a big blue stain on her Princess Ariel shirt, but she looks happy. You're both smiling big, the reflection of the colorful carnival lights shining in your identical eyes. Everyone always said she looked like Matt, but you can clearly see your features reflected back to you in this picture. God, how could you have forgotten about the way her eyes crinkled when she was happy? Or how she leaned into you in public? Or how young you both were?

"What's that?" Joel asks as he walks over to you, and you meet him halfway to show him the picture, unwilling to hand it over just yet. It takes him a minute to realize what he's looking at, but when he does, he looks up to catch you staring at the picture. "'S that Jane?"

"Mhm,"

"She's beautiful," he says, and you smile. "Is that cotton candy?"

"Yeah, it was her favorite. Practically begged me to buy it for her. I'm pretty sure I overdrafted my bank account just to get it."

"How old are you in this photo?" He asks, and you furrow your brows as you think. 

"Uh, Jane looks about three or four, so I was, at least, nineteen."

"You look happy."

"And tired," you say. Both things are true, but you can't ignore the bags under your eyes or your horribly fitting clothes. You were struggling. You were alone. You were so incredibly ill-equipped and felt the weight of the world on your shoulders. And Jane... Jane is none the wiser. She's smiling. She's fed. She's loved. She's happy. Maybe you were doing a better job than you thought you were. "You know she wanted to go on the Ferris wheel?" You ask, and Joel raises his eyebrows.

"That little?" He asks, and you laugh, nodding.

"I said the same thing, but she was so determined. So, my friend got us tickets to go on it, and we went, just the two of us. But when we started going around, she started getting really scared about the height and how fast it was going. She buried her head in my arm almost the whole time, and I was stressed that she was miserable and we had wasted my friend's money, and I was so fucking tired," you say. "But when we stopped at the top, I told her to look at the sky, and she did. I pointed at the different stars and talked to her about the moon, and she calmed down. I don't know if I distracted her or if she realized how big the sky was in comparison, but when we got down, all she could talk about was how close she got to the moon. After that, we'd go out every night and look at the stars. Even snuck out of our QZ shelter after the Outbreak."

"D'you get caught?" 

"Once. I knew a FEDRA guy, and he let it go. We never got caught again." You haven't thought about Owen in years. You don't know if he's dead or alive. You don't even know if he remembers you. You're not sure if you want to know. 

You grab a few more things from her room: a teddy bear, a few shirts, and a picture of you and her on the day she was born. Being in her space again makes your head swim, and you want to stay here forever and leave as soon as possible, all at the same time. Eventually, after combing through every nook and cranny you still know, you do leave. You say a proper goodbye to the first home you shared with Jane and the memories you made there. You're silently grateful to the apartment for holding so many treasures you would've otherwise never gotten back. 

You don't know why, but you trace your steps back through one of your old routes. Joel is silent beside you and lets you lead, knowing you would never do anything to endanger him. You recount stories as you pass certain buildings or paths; he listens and asks questions about her and your shared life. Before you know it, you're on the same hill overlooking the QZ. The one where you hid with her when the Outbreak first happened. The one you sat down on and sobbed after Adam died because you had to pull yourself together before reentering. The one you buried her on. 

The tree holding her has gotten bigger, its limbs stretching to the sky and the leaves a brilliant green. Seeing it thrive makes you smile just a little before you pivot and start walking to where you know she is. The sight of a fresh bouquet on her spot stops you in your tracks and makes your breath catch. All these years, you worried she would go unremembered under that big oak tree. You worried she was alone and scared. You worried and worried and worried because that's what any good parent does. The yellow flowers protecting her prove your worries wrong. You take a deep breath and grab Joel's hand before walking over to her. 

"Hey bug," you start, fighting your tears, "This is Joel. He’s Sarah’s dad and he’s my… he’s my best friend." You squeeze Joel’s hand and take a shaky breath. "He takes care of me and I take care of him. So, you don’t have to worry about Mommy being lonely, okay? I’m gonna be just fine. You don’t have to be scared for me. I've got my people here just like you've got your people there. So, you just rest and I'll be okay." Now, you're really crying and there's no stopping it.

"I love you. I hope leaving didn't make you think otherwise, but I came back. I'll always come back because you're my baby. You'll always be my baby."

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha

[amazing-spiderling]

fic writer asks: 1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write?

I'm going to be a little cheaty- since there's two fandoms I've written a chunk for, I'd leave it up to the reader as to which they'd prefer, but they both have a lot in common.

If someone was of the Metal Gear persuasion, I'd tell them to read "Rat in a Foxhole", which is a story that consumed my brain and I think I was smashing out a chapter a day or something, because I was SO INSPIRED by a piece of artwork (itself, an album redraw) that my brain was on fire and the only way to get it out was to put the words on the screen. The fic has a bit to do with some information we get from MGS 5, specifically that Huey had intended for his son Hal to be a child mech pilot (the pilots needed to be small because of the limitations of the size of the cockpit). My brain immediately got to wondering about what would happen to such a child pilot once they grew and "aged out" of the program (or the program shut down because wtf). Then I saw @polmcarts artwork of a version of Hal and Dave meeting in some kind of bootcamp and the plot was born.

It's a sort of... meditative fic? I often imagine my stories as screenplays, and if it was viewed in that way, there would be a lot of long silences, detail shots, vast open landscapes etc. It does, of course, include a drawn out winter arc because I'm that bitch, and it's got a few twists and turns before (of course) ultimately ending on a hopeful note.

Likewise "The Man in the Mask" is a Spideypool AU that envisions an alternate meeting, and one of the characters not being forthcoming with who they are and why they're there. This one was another story that was really burning a hole in my brain, although it took me a lot longer to get it out. Having a little Marvel familiarity (with mutants and the legacy virus in particular) helps, but I've had people tell me that I did a good enough of a job explaining the concept in the fic that they weren't too lost. This one reads a bit like a "bottle episode" with the two characters more or less trapped in a single apartment and making the best of it. (I guess you could say Dave and Hal were trapped in the boot camp in the first one, so there's that.) For a story about Wade and Peter, this one also has a lot of introspection and quiet moments before a few things bubble over.

Just like the first story, this one had people screaming at me before they finished off the last chapter, which I think is a bit of a feather in my cap as a writer, it means I sold the drama and brought things to a satisfying conclusion. I call both of these some of my "weird ones" because they're extremely niche AUs that I wrote for myself, so it really makes me happy when they ping with people. I wish I had ideas like these more often.

17. I kind of have a bug in my brain about doing a fantasy adjacent Earth-65 AU featuring "The Merry Janes" and I guess AUs of AUs counts as niche... Oh, god and I really want to write a 616 or NMCU (or combo) one about Matt and Foggy being academic rivals and complaining about each other online anonymously and becoming friends (and more) without realizing. I was watching a compilation of 90's/2000's anime intros and the beginning of "His and Her Circumstances" started spooling little ideas in my head. And now that I'm on a roll, my brain is like "Lol what if Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne AU" where Matt is a "holy thief" stealing/exorcising relics and Foggy is on the side of the law trying to bring him in sfdkdsjflj And of course there's the Madoka E-65 AU I want to flesh out at some point, but that might be a better comic than story. Moral of the story is, Anime: Not Even Once.

25. thesaurus.com LOL I don't actually do a lot of looking at resources when I'm actually writing and I don't have a lot of "go to" pages for things, it's kind of random. I will do searches for things like "what year was this thing invented", but I don't have a bookmarked tab of "popular weapons in ancient china and how to use them" or anything like that. I guess I use Youtube a lot to listen to vapor/chillwave mixes while I write, is that anything? I guess a resource I use is the sprintbot in discord (and my fellow server members) to help get my brain to focus. I keep meaning to try that website that has little doodads on it to help adhd brains focus on writing but i keep forgetting.

[pastafossa]

I don’t know if it was mentioned in the story or if I forgot, but is Jane on birth control? I think they’re both smart enough to be aware of the potential consequences if Jane were to get pregnant now. With the man in the coat still after her, a baby that could potentially have her powers (and who knows what Matt’s enhanced senses would add to that) would make him come after Jane more. And with the way the two of them are going, if they’re not using a condom and she’s not on a pill, it would happen sooner rather than later. Tbh I would really like to see Matt and Jane as parents, married, and just having a nice, happy life. They both deserve it so much. But I think it’s too early right now… maybe a baby scare? Even if she’s on the pill, it’s not always 100% effective. It would be interesting to see Matt’s reaction, but would he be able to tell? Sorry this is so long, but I’m curious :)

Alright, SO, outside of one line ("already taken care of"), I haven't really brought it up because I'm aware of just how delicate stuff like this, and I'm still not sure how much it's going to come up in the fic so I don't see a huge issue with talking a little bit about why she's so confidently having sex with Matt sans condom. Especially since this isn't the first question I've had about her and matt, re: bc/chance of pregnancy. Because you're right - they're both smart enough to be aware of the potential consequences if she gets pregnant. Especially her. You're also right on the nose with just valuable a kid with two enhanced parents would be to the Man in the White Coat.

First: I'm going to put this behind a See More tag just in case someone doesn't want eventual spoilers, or in case anything to do with fertility/birth control/mentions of a terrible scientist's 'breeding' program is triggering to someone.

Second: this is one of those things that ya'll free to disregard since I'm not even sure if I'm going to touch on it in the fic, and you're free to come up with your own answer for Jane's BC if you don't like mine! I'm fond of one reader's headcanon that Ciro talked to S.H.I.E.L.D. and got some super nifty implant for Jane. But if you're looking for what's in my head, re: TRT and birth control methods, well, here we go.

So you are correct. In my head, she is practicing a form of birth control, and it's something she had done a while back in Los Angeles, with Ciro's assistance. She was forced to run the same calculations as you, and much like you, she came up with the answer: pregnancy is a risk I cannot take. Even back then, before she'd ever met Matt, a kid with her genes would be valuable. I've made one or two vague references about the Man in the White Coat's plans for her genetic line ("‘I should have harvested that stupid animal.’ - chapter 35) but I'm gonna be a little more explicit: the Man in the White Coat has used breeding programs in the past in an attempt to fuck around with genetics, and he sees no reason not to do so with Jane, considering she's one of his greatest successes.

She knew that couldn't happen, even at 16. She knew what it was like to grow up as an experiment. The pill wasn't effective enough for her, considering it had to be taken the same time every day and consistently (not really something that can be done on the run), and as for condoms? Yeah, they break. And having an abortion would have potentially drawn attention as a medical procedure (and depending on where Jane was at the time, might not be accessible if she ever had to run again). The answer, to her, was obvious.

Ciro agreed, even as a Catholic.

So, she had a quick surgical snip, done quietly at a private facility that Ciro paid a lot of hush money to. If she ever wanted it reversed, the odds of a successful reversal were somewhere around 70% if she was still under 35. Lower if she was older. But that was a chance she was willing to take. No part of her - not her, nor any potential children - will ever be taken by the Man in the White Coat if she has anything to say about it. She controls that part of her life.

Matt isn't entirely sure what she's had done (and she's not sure how he'd take it, considering how Catholic he is) but he trusts her, and the smooth steadiness of her heartbeat, when she says that pregnancy isn't a concern. His thinking is some sort of implant, though he hasn't sensed one.

Now - could she become pregnant? Yes, even without a reversal. There's a low chance, but it's low enough that she's not really all that bothered by it, and Matt wouldn't be either, if he knew. And Matt would likely be the first person to know if that changed! I was going to leave whether they eventually have kids open ended because too much description of actual pregnancy makes my brain panic I wanted to let people decide for themselves what that part of their life might look like, since everyone's a little different. <3 I will say I'm definitely planning, even after the official conclusion of TRT, to have some snapshot fics of their mostly happy life together except for the snap fic, and there's also gonna be a wedding at some point because hello the potential for wedding hilarity is huge when one side is ethical vigilante heroes and the other side is full of mobsters.

[no-te-lo-voy-a-dar]

Reprise

Chapter 1 - Not Yet

Fic’s Summary: You are an Asgardian who’s on Earth after a series of events, who ends up taking a spiderling teen vigilante under their wings who’s intrigued to figure out if the other vigilante mentor the kid has is really who the stories tell, wanting to see if it’s true no one can sneak on him or surprise him. But you are the best friend of certain trickster, and some tendencies have rubbed on you…this shall be an entertaining challenge.

Author’s Note: this chapter shouldn’t even exist yet, i have important irl stuff to do, but this moment of brainrot some days ago lasted me enough to still write this. It’s been a while since i’ve written anything for a Reader insert but @raelwrites​ and her works have been very inspiring and serotonin enducing, so, here we are. i have an unfinished spn fic (which, i was writing as i watched the season it takes place in…im still stuck), a witcher one in ao3 and so many on drafts but hey, we are for the vibes. 

no beta reader, this is all on me

Main relationships: Loki/GN Reader (Platonic), Peter/GN Reader (Platonic), [Future] Matt/GN Reader (?)

Warnings: none for this chapter i guess, but well, eventually there might be some usual canon violence and insinuations at not very nice events, but i’ll mention/tag those when needed.

Next Chapter >>

(gifs not mine)

Chapter’s Author’s Note: this is mainly like, introduction of R’s situation, as well as some dynamics that we’ll see later on (let’s pray whatever fixation i have right now allows me to juggle all my fics). Matt is not on this chapter yet but there’s plenty of Loki and Peter, me thinks

tagging: @catmanbowser​​ (look at this absolute madness)

Word Count: 5,068

Midgard was…boring at best, so far.

Sure there were a bunch of foods and drinks you were trying for the first time, thrilling flavours and interesting uses of ingredients still surprising you, as well as sweet treats, and Internet seemed to have a bunch of recorded plays you could watch again and again from the comfort of your chambers, but you couldn’t just go out and ride a horse around if you wanted (apparently), and training had become harder to do when your strength was naturally higher than most of those living under the same roof (and the humans you have learned are stronger in the place you are staying in can’t train with you daily anyways). Not to mention you couldn’t hunt your food and you were missing the certain thrill of providing for your housemates as well as doing small things with the skins and pelts.

Sure you could train against Loki and Thor, or just one of them, but Thor wasn’t there all the time, and it’s been a long time since the training you have with Loki had become more of a coordinated dance. You were too in sync for it to be a true challenge.

And you missed the stars. Old Norns did you miss them.

For some reason you were yet to comprehend, the Midgardian night sky didn’t have visible stars where you currently were. Even when Thor assured you they were visible in other places of this planet, the current area you were bounded to was dark and plain at night, making you long for the Asgardian sky. Apparently human technology has cut their connection with the celestial bodies.

But! You were here, on “Earth” for a reason! A mission of sorts.

+

When the Dark Elves started attacking Asgard, you will forever be thankful to the Old Norns for the fact you were escorting Jane Foster, Thor’s human beloved, as requested from the prince himself, around the palace and wherever she wished to be. You were on guard duty, because Thor didn’t really trust anyone else to protect Jane and treat her with respect. You were not to leave her alone, and thanks to that, you managed to avoid Queen Frigga being killed while defending the human.

She was still injured that time, but after disposing of the enemy and making sure Jane was as okay as she could, you were quick to work on your Queen’s injuries with magic. Healing Seidr wasn’t your strength, as it never is for a single individual, but you got her enough time for the actual healers to arrive and aid her.

Thor had been incredibly grateful, hugging you and carrying you on his shoulder like you were children again.

Loki, on the other hand and somehow, learned that he had sent who could have been his Mother’s killer on her way from his cell, had a breakdown over that and it wasn’t until Frigga herself went to talk to her kid that he seemed to snap out of whatever terrors and doubts plagued his mind.

So, things were written and orders were given for Loki to be sent back to Midgard along with Thor to “pay for his crimes against the humans and offer compensation” or something like that (Odin’s way with words and orders was never your favourite, too many loopholes or unclear instructions) when the battle against Malekith and his people was over with. And you were asked by Frigga and Thor themselves to join the princes.

‘Sometimes my brother seems more like your brother than mine!’ is what Thor told you while patting your back after the hearing with the Throne. Which just means Thor wanted help with guiding his brother’s moral compass.

And you were okay with it really, always up for adventure and learning opportunities. And Loki seemed particularly more relaxed when you agreed. And how could they not! You were their best friend after all, and you were proud of it, no matter what happened. You had a lot of time after and during the preparations for Loki and Thor to catch you up on all what happened since the failed crowning ceremony to the first Dark Elves attack.

With that you felt like the three of you fell into place again. Chipped at the edges, new scratches that didn’t match and some faded colours, but you were in more coordination with each other than you’ve been in decades.

You had known Loki and Thor since you were kids, your family being part of the system and rotations of personal blacksmiths the Royal family had for themselves thanks to your usage of Seidr. Magic had always been present on your bloodline, from both sides of your parents, and while they never really trained it, they made sure to use it to make weaponry more durable and special, infusing it with different conditions, catching Odin’s father’s attention millennia ago and working for them since then.

Members of your family always were well trained in combat, because when a new design was asked for you had to try the weapons, checking balance, durability and how much it might or not vibrate after clashing against other weapons.

Thanks to this, Odin seemed interested in your already good fighting skills as a kid, and sent Lady Sif (when she was just Sif) to battle you, at the time covering saying that he wanted the both of you to test weapons for Thor and Loki, eventually inviting you to his sons’ and “friends” private training sessions.

And you say “friends” because all of you had been picked by Odin to be his older son’s closest teammates, planning for you all to have his back as adults and for him to have a reliable close court when he took over the throne. So, at the time you all weren’t really friends, some of the others more eager to get close to the blonde prince than others, true, but ultimately enjoying having people your age to train with.

But due your family’s inclination with magic, you ended up catching the younger prince’s attention by simply not mocking him for using it sometimes during training, instead asking him how he did certain tricks. They must have told Frigga because not even a season after you started asking Loki to teach you had passed and the Queen had personally asked your family for permission on teaching you beyond what your family’s knowledge was (magic shields, basic wound cleaning spells and some silence covers, using sound and wind manipulation so your movements weren’t trackable, nor the rattling of your armor or weapons on your back).

They were honored to have the Queen teaching you, of course, and you even taught them other spells and poultices to wear between hands and gloves to keep them cooler when handling the forges. But they didn’t seem to like you were closer to the younger prince, particularly more so when he started gaining his trickster reputation and word of you joining him in some of the pranks reached them.

But, you were left to be, and although it wasn’t your favourite activity while growing up, you often seemed to be a buffer of some kind between Thor’s main friends and his brother, along with the older prince himself. And you could always fight them if things got too heated, even offering to wear magical cuffs so you weren’t “cheating”.

You always won, which left you bragging and smug about it. But you were also aware that Sif would be a bigger challenge and probably beat you some times, but she wasn’t the one getting angry at Loki over nothing (yes, you let him get out of the trouble and mess of cutting Sif’s hair on his own).

+

So, you had a solid and nice relationship with the Asgardian princes and agreed to come to Midgard but, since you were also a new face among Thor’s human brothers and sisters in arms, you weren’t really trusted to go on missions with them until they had tested you enough.

But some progress seemed to have gone down the sewers after you mentioned your magic (manifested in deep yellows and gold sparks and colours, differently but complementary to Loki’s green) and started speaking of how Loki and his mother taught you a lot. That seemed to put some people on edge, particularly the archer whose name you could just remember, at the time, had something to do with Hawk.

Whatever, you were fine spending time with Loki, catching up, braiding their hair, practicing your illusions and trying to cook some Asgardian meals with Midgardian ingredients. You both will be okay, and the rest of Thor’s human team will see.

+++

The first to actually join you and Loki in training and talk to you like you weren’t plotting to blow the whole Tower down was the youngest one, the Spider themed kid.

“Peter Parker. Aren’t you Stark’s genius little mentee?” Loki interrupted the kid’s seemingly endless questions about the Bifrost’s magic.

Ah, Peter Parker. Right. Loki was always better with names than Thor or you, or the whole gang back then, only being equally good with memorizing names by Sif.

“Yes? Kind of? I don’t know, anyways, as I was asking, what’s powering the machine you use to make interplanetary jumps?”

Loki was too stunned in general to properly pay attention to the questions, and while you knew you both could answer them, you were too wired and full of energy to burn, the young warrior having stopped both Loki and you while in the kitchen, grabbing some water and snacks to take to the gym. So, an idea came to you.

“Say, young Parker, what if we make a deal?”

That managed to stop him in the middle of whatever rephrasing he was in, and caught the attention of Loki too. Peter arched an eyebrow and leaned back slightly. Good, some doubt could save your life.

“Could you elaborate on that?”

“Well, I’ve heard Thor say you have an impressive strength and reflexes for being so young, and after hearing Stark talk about you I used Internet to search about Spider-Man, your title while on the spider themed suit if I’m correct, and you can stop and lift those big metal boxes of transportation you have, so, what if you join Loki and me on training, no magic from our part, and after we answer all what you want about the Bifrost?”

Loki sent you a glare of them not understanding what you were even planning or thinking, but shrugged, letting you know they were okay with whatever it was. It was harmless, really.

“You promise to not use magic?” the kid leaned back in, but he still had his face scrunched.

“Not today, sure. At most, the only magic you might see me use would be to cool our water bottles or summon us some towels.” you twirled your hand to demonstrate, the kitchen counter yellow towel popping on your hand, and you twirled it again to put it back where it was, although crumpled now.

That seemed to catch the kid’s attention, his mouth opening slightly and his frown being replaced by wonder and curiosity. You winked at Loki with a smile, and they snorted while rolling their eyes, a small smile on their face.

Peter’s eyes went from the towel to your face, then to Loki’s (who arched an eyebrow at him) and back to you.

“Okay, sure. Let’s go to a training room.”

“Yes!” you did a small gesture of victory, to which the other two laughed slightly. You were excited to finally get to train with someone else who you didn’t know for centuries. And he must be a great fighter! What with being Stark’s menteé and visiting the Tower often.

Right?

+++

He wasn’t.

Sure, Peter Parker wasn’t completely helpless in a fight, there was some training there, but very basic. The start of it. And he could dance around your punches and kicks with a great level of grace, but the moment you and Loki coordinated your attacks, still no magic, the kid started struggling.

You were currently on a break, Loki leaning against the wall, you mindlessly spinning a stick around like you would your spear were you taunting someone, and Peter sprawled on the floor.

“What do you mean Stark didn’t train you?” you tried to not show your anger but this was a child in every sense of the word.

“And still doesn’t, remember.” Loki’s voice was detached, but you knew him better than to know that’s how he felt, he just knew that between the two of you he was the one being monitored by the voice in the Tower.

Peter groaned before answering.

“Guys, it’s okay, really. I started doing this almost two year ago on my own, before Mr. Stark even knew about me.”

“Okay, that’s a whole other thing to talk about, but I don’t think we are the best to judge when you started going out and fighting, much less with our perception of human age but you are already a small child anyways.” Loki was nodding along your words, and Peter dragged his hands over his face while sighing. “And okay, but what about after? Why do you come to the Tower so often then? Do any of the others train you?” Norns, you sounded like your own father and Queen Frigga.

“I mean, sometimes when they have time and I do too they spar with me and give me tips. Natasha is the one that helps me the most? But she’s, really busy, and I come here to work on tech projects with Mr. Stark, mostly.” Peter was sitting down now.

You tilt your head, trying to understand what Peter does with the short man.

“He means they work on armor and things like the phone you have and other Midgardian things they use to substitute magic or to get a basic version of some of our own technology.” Loki translated to you and Peter smiled while nodding.

You hummed, while still flipping the stick on your arms and back, launching it to a dummy on the back of the room before talking again.

“What if I offered to train you?”

“What?”

“I could help too.”

Peter’s and Loki’s voices clashed, and when Peter’s brain caught up with what the prince said, turned his head faster than you’ve seen him move before, only to get a small smile and a shrug from the God.

“I don’t have a lot to do while imprisoned here Parker, might as well do something productive and useful. Besides, if my friend here is going to teach you, you will want someone to make sure you learn the proper stances and not whatever they’ve come up with over the years.”

“Hey!”

Peter chuckled at that a little, and twirled his fingers with the string on his pants, pondering the answer to give you.

“I mean, I already have someone who’s willingly training me on a solid schedule, but I would like to complement his training with whatever you could teach me.”

“Is this person the reason you at least know how to stand and throw punches without breaking your fingers?” Loki asked, the amusement both visual on his smirking face and audible on his voice.

“Yes? But the backflips and dodging are mostly me.”

“Yeah I bet.” you whispered, originally thinking only you and Loki would hear it, but when Peter huffed and frowned at you, you were surprised by the realization this enhanced human also had better senses.

Hmmm, whenever you and Loki started training him with magic things will be interesting.

+++

You trained Peter two days a week, one during school days, when he didn’t have to go join Stark and the other during saturday evenings. Whoever was training Peter had fridays scheduled with him, but after some time you started to guess they meet more often than once a week.

Peter was a fast learner, but after a big improvement of his basics you and Loki stopped noticing big chunks of advancement, which was normal, but were highly surprised by Natasha, the Black Widow, joining you both for a lazy dinner one night.

Most of the Avengers were in the Tower that week, so Loki and you had been allowed to go out to the city, being told there were enough of them around to restrict Loki were he to go rogue, so you two were kind of tired that night after coming back. More so when Thor asked to spar right after you entered the common area.

So when Romanoff took a seat in front of Loki and you, you startled a little, being slightly dozing off while slowly eating at your cereal until then. Loki was more conscious, although he just pulled his plate with cookies closer to him while eyeing the spy.

“Relax, I’m not here to take your food or attack you, I just wanna chat.”

“Mmm, no, yeah, that just makes you sound more suspicious.” was Loki’s answer, which was honestly funny because it was nothing but an obvious remark, so you couldn’t help the throaty snort you tried to cover with your hand. Natasha arched an eyebrow at you, but it didn’t feel angry just…amused.

“Fair. Right to the point then: thank you for helping Peter. He’s greatly improved since last time we trained together and when I asked him about it he said you both had a hand in that. And another person he didn’t mention but I’m pretty sure of my guess over who that is, based on the fighting style. But your styles were more present, at least today.” Natasha made a pause on her small speech, probably expecting or allowing either Loki or you to make a comment, but you were too stunned to speak surprised (and slightly embarrassed) to say anything.

She smiled and continued.

“Peter was dragged in with us by Tony, but he's…not really done anything to help him other than toss him an improved suit. Which has done a lot in the sense of offering him protection, Peter himself has told me how much less he’s gotten slashed and stabbed now.” the spy fondly smiled at that, probably remembering the teen saying that in a highly excited voice, one Loki and you have heard before. “Bucky and I try to do our best into teaching him how to fight, because he truly lacked any form of formal training, but well, we are busy with Avengers stuff most of the time, so I’m grateful you both took time and patience to do so.”

With her speech finished, she stood up from the small center table, going to make herself some tea, and you turned slightly to look at Loki, hoping to see an answer on how to proceed, but you saw him with raised eyebrows, surprise written all over his face.

So, you were going to answer then. Great.

“You are most welcomed, Agent Romanoff. It has been a pleasure and fun to train young Peter, not to mention it has given us both more to do around here. He’s a sweetheart and I’m pretty sure he’s gotten everyone here wrapped around his sticky fingers, Loki included.” the last comment was meant to be a playful jab, you bumping shoulders with your friend, but when Loki started talking you realized he wanted to be truthful right then, at least regarding Peter.

“My friend here is right, he’s a delightful young man, and I’m proud of him. From what you are telling us, he’s truly been picking up, and knowing it’s helped keep him safe is all we could truly ask for.”

You could see him slightly blush, faith blue (which after the revelation of his heritage explained that; young you thought it was due his own magic) tainting his cheeks, but you decided against teasing him. This time.

Natasha nodded before taking a sip of her tea, and over thinking the talk was over but feeling comfortable with the silence, you went back to eating your cereal, shaking the box in her direction in a form of question and offering. She shook her head and you shrugged. Loki offered her a seat again, and she took it, and you all spent the next minutes in peace.

You were preparing the usual spicy hot cocoa Loki and you had after particularly odd and long days when Natasha stood up to leave, but before turning a corner and leaving your sight, she spoke once more.

“I will seek you both later to schedule a sparring match. The three of us only, and maybe Barnes if he’s up to it. Would you be okay with it?”

You shrugged and nodded, looking at Loki because really, he was the wild card here.

“Of course! I would appreciate the chance of fighting you under more fair rules, and I’ve heard Rogers and Barnes are both enhanced so it must be interesting.”

With that, the spy softly smiled and left.

Neither Loki nor you brought up all of what had happened into conversation. You both were there and just needed to think a little to understand it. And that you did, while curled up together watching a cooking competition show, Thor arriving and flipping on top of you both, laughing at your groans and playful shoves.

You fell asleep between the two dork royal siblings, content and excited for things to start getting brighter for Loki.

+++

Things indeed started getting a lot better at the Tower after Natasha and Bucky became sparring buddies with you both, Barnes even once going out of his way to ask Loki to spar with him, both using nothing but (training, blunt) knives. Loki was vibrating out of the seat when asked, trying to keep composure because it had been months since he was allowed near even fake knives, only allowing him to use the kitchen ones under supervision (the Tower Voice being said supervision most of the time).

After that the next ones to approach Loki were Rogers and Wilson, and in your case Barton and Banner. Mind you, you mixed some last names on occasions, and forgot their titles still, but you were working on that.

Training Peter was still a given, and Loki was allowed and invited out of the Tower more and more, sometimes Rogers even asking for Loki to glamour them up so they weren’t recognized and could enjoy in complete peace their walks or whatever. Eventually Loki was allowed out on his own with nothing but a tracker he was pissed about wearing but allowed it for his own sanity.

You were allowed out on your own weeks before Loki of course, and used this to walk with Peter a lot, who enjoyed rambling about his city, about places he thought you would enjoy, about things he wanted Loki to try and everything in between, even retelling how he got into thigh fights in some places of the city.

You were currently in an area Peter had called Soho, doing emphasis in how it wasn’t meant to be confused with England’s Soho.

Curious, you had asked if he could show you the place where he trained with Daredevil (whose vigilante name you’ve gotten simply because Natasha had asked Peter one day, just to then tell him that if he ever did something wrong to or with Peter, that he could trust them, to tell any of the members at the Tower. That day it was only Natasha and you training Peter, Loki being out in the city with Barnes and Thor, but you could see Peter tense a little at how the spy said ‘you know Stark cares about you’. You saved that reaction for later, but Peter had just asked how she knew it was Daredevil, and that it was okay, he was surprisingly more soft once he learned Peter’s - Spider-Man’s - age).

Peter seemed to have been thinking about it, but you reassured him it was more out of curiosity than protectiveness nor trying to see if “the place was up to expectation”. A partial lie, but Peter said that Daredevil was very, very protective of his identity, perhaps as much as himself, but how the older vigilante was more aggressive in his approach regarding the secret, while Peter was more of an anxious ball. It made sense to you, really, after all Peter was still a child, and already with a lot on his shoulders.

You nodded, already having made up your mind about dropping the topic, when Peter’s voice sounded again.

“I could take you to the neighborhood it’s in it tho. It’s in an area called Hell’s Kitchen, which is known as Daredevil’s territory, even when, if asked, he’s okay to accompany and help other vigilantes outside of his area, but he doesn’t have a transportation method as fast as myself or Mr. Wilson.”

“I’m not going to lie that the area’s name causes me more questions but if you are comfortable with giving me a tour of said place, and it won’t make Daredevil angry with you, then please, lead the way.”

Peter seemed to light up at how his offer was taken positively, and started to talk about how he had meet Daredevil by accident before meeting Stark, having wandered into his area chasing some guys from Brooklyn, and how the older vigilante didn’t like the idea of Spider-Man being an actual kid, how Peter stayed away from Hell’s Kitchen after that, but reaching out tentatively when the Sokovia Accords were being spoken about, because the few things he could find out about them weren’t good for his “after school activities”, and noticing how Daredevil seemed to deflate, a tired sigh leaving his mouth, and explained to him why they were simultaneously good and bad, the bad having a stronger weight if some things weren’t taken away or properly managed.

Peter continued, you making some questions every then and now to keep Peter on track of the main story. It was fascinating. No one had managed to get a lot of information about the other vigilante who trained Peter because almost no one even knew someone else was training him. And it was obvious how much the kid respected and looked up to the older vigilante, while still making comments and jabs at things he didn’t agree on, but from what you could tell, even when the stories were being told from the teenager’s perspective, it was clear he cared about Peter.

And it picked up your interest.

Every adult you’ve meet on Peter’s life had a slightly different approach when it came to protecting and supporting him, and while some were sure that physically he could protect himself pretty well, others taught him things from a more strategist point of view, or gave him life advice, or just the chance to ramble about his last project (cookies for his aunt, a science project, a tech improvement to his suit) so hearing the kid talk so excited about Daredevil and his friends (whose names he almost slipped several times before coming up with nicknames for them) made you smile fondly at him.

You and Loki were smart, as was Thor (even when he couldn’t figure out most of Loki’s lies and tricks on the first try), when it came to keeping up appearances and reading underlying truths from people’s behaviors, so the three of you were sure that something happened between Stark and Peter that made the later not really trust the metal cladded man as much as apparently others were sure he did. You were also pretty solid on your belief that Natasha knew something was up (if she didn’t already know exactly what), same with older Hawkeye and Barnes but kept appearances for Peter’s sake.

You weren’t going to push anyone to tell you, but you knew this is one of those things that would eventually come into light for you.

In the meantime, the protective nature you had developed over the centuries by being Loki’s best friend urged you to find Daredevil and make sure he was who Peter claimed him to be, that this man of unknown identity to you was a good role model or at least behaved accordingly when around Spider-Man.

So after getting some pastries from a place in The Hell’s Kitchen which Peter seemed to like a lot, eating them in a park and walking some more while talking about the urban art of the neighborhood (the place seemed to really like their vigilante, or at least respect him enough to create murals to honour him) and just about little adventures the kid had with the small horns suited man, you made up your mind.

You were going to start tracking down Daredevil the days you knew Peter wasn’t going to be with him and, if you deemed it necessary…talk with him, to make sure Peter thrived and wasn’t going to get back stabbed (Loki knew a lot about it, after all he learned to do so after being the victim. You also learned about it because eventually you gained some reputation by being the younger prince’s close friend).

That evening you told the Asgardian princes about your plan and while Thor frowned a little at your lack of faith on 'young Peter’s" judgment, he didn’t say anything about stopping you. Loki grinned, and told you how the idea and plan was delightful, supporting you on it and confessing he had been wanting to do the same for a while. Although not as…peaceful as your plan was.

You might have leaned into the taunting and teasing nature the trickster god had by growing up so close to him, but you weren’t as prone to violence and physical encounters as the two brothers. Then again, that’s in comparison to the two of them. According to Barnes, you were still a very energetic being, always up for a fight and a challenge.

So.

It seemed you would be spending some nights around Daredevil’s lair for the next weeks.

You weren’t sure what but something about the idea made you excited, almost vibrating with energy and looking forward to hunting down in Hell’s Kitchen what was obviously it’s territory’s predator.

Let the chase begin.

[no-one-fuck-a-man]

Berry Blues

Season One

Part Eleven - (Hairography) The Babysitters Lonely Hearts Club Band

Quinn Fabray x Reader

Summary: Wigs, kids, and makeovers. You had a long week ahead of you.

Word Count: 7,108

WARNINGS: Mein Kamph joke (again... I’m sorry)

-----

"What the hell is going on here?" you said, hopping down the stairs of the auditorium, raising a hand to greet the girls in black and yellow standing upon the stage, "Hello, new people!"

"Y/N." Mr Schue smiled, gesturing for you to take a seat with your friends. Which you did. Plopping down between Matt and Kurt. "Glad you could make it. Okay, guys, so first of all. I want to welcome Ms Hitchens and the Jane Addams Glee Club. We're all very happy to have you guys here. So, um, we're going to let you guys start us off. Let's see what you got."

The woman who had been introduced to you as Ms Hitchens turned to speak to the girls, "Hit it."

I shake my jelly at every chance

When I whip with my hips you slip into a trance

Leaning over, you whispered in Matt's ear, "You think I could get any of those girls' number?"

"Is your mind ever��out of the gutter?" he chuckled.

"You're watching the same performance as me, right?"

I don't think you're ready for this jelly

I don't think you're ready for this jelly

I don't think you're ready for this, 'cause my body's too bootylicious for you, babe

A nudge came to your side as you watched the girls jump and land with the splits, Kurt this time, the boy noticing the smile on your face, "Stop it," he hissed over.

"What? They're hot. I am respectfully ogling them."

'Cause my body's too bootylicious for you, babe

Applause came from your group. Along with an almost evil chuckle from your mouth, when you turned to gauge everyone else's reactions, only to see Quinn placing her hand over Finn's clapping ones. Obviously jealous of the girls on the stage.

Well, this was not how you were expecting the day to go.

---

It was the next day, and you were in the choir room.

Sat beside Mike, watching as Brittany and Santana playfully danced together at the front of the class.

"All right, guys," your teacher announced his presence, walking into the room, "I did some thinking last night."

"That's never good," you mumbled to yourself, gaining a soft snort from the boy by your side.

"I think I found our new number for Sectionals." All of the previously standing students moved to take a seat, waiting for the man to finish. "We're going to do the title song from 'Hair'. Now, this show started a revolution."

"Wait, did they have mohawks back then?" Puck piped up, "Like in the '20s or whatever?"

"Late 60's."

"How do you know that?"

You turned to the glaring boy. "My sister is Rachel Berry. Ask me that again."

"Yeah, Mr Schue," Finn said, agreeing with his delinquent friend, "If we're gonna do a song about hair, shouldn't we have more hair?"

"One step ahead of you." Mr Schue raised the bag that he as just slid from his shoulder. "Here are your wigs." He then threw it onto Finn's lap.

"What?" you asked, leaning forward in your seat, "Mr Schue, there's a reason that I cut my hair short."

"Mr Schuester?" Your sister rushed up to the man. "What are you doing-?" Their conversation trailed off as wigs were being pulled from the duffle bag and handed around to everyone with short hair.

Including yourself.

Looking over his shoulder from his whispered talk with your sister, he burst out laughing, "Looking great, guys!"

"This feels so weird," you cringed as Artie rolled into the teacher's view.

"I haven't seen you with long hair since we were kids," Rachel pointed out.

"Yeah, I don't like it. I'm just glad I have solidarity with these guys." You gestured to the wig-wearing boys.

"You don't... look like you," Quinn spoke.

"Good to know I can use this if I ever need to go on the run."

"What would you even go on the run for?" Your sister asked.

"Nothing you can prove."

---

You were by Quinn's locker after fishing what you needed from your own, when you stepped up and spotted the book in her hand.

Reaching over to take it from her, you asked, "What's this?"

"Puck stole it for me."

"Oh, how romantic," you said dryly, flipping the book over to read its cover, "'How To Raise A Baby On Five Dollars A Day'. I don't think I've ever heard of something so depressing. That also seems impossible."

The blonde snatched the book back and shoved it into her locker. Before slamming it and strutting away.

You sighed.

How could you keep on forgetting about how her baby hormones could make her emotions change instantly and how bad they could get. But you never forget the rage. No one could forget that.

"Quinn," you called after her in a restrained voice, following close behind, even pregnant, she was fast on her feet, and you had to jog up just to catch up. "Hey, hey, wait." You grabbed her arm lightly, pulling her around to face you. "I'm sorry, okay? I know you're going through a tough time and everything, so there's like a thousand and one worries going through your mind every second. And it was insensitive of me."

She sighed and shook her head lightly, "I'm sorry for snapping at you."

A shrug. "It's the demon hormones." The glower on her face caused you to rush and correct yourself, "Baby. I meant baby hormones."

"I'm just under a lot of pressure right now."

"I know you are." You nodded, remembering what had happened just that morning in a parking garage.

"You don't drink diet soda, do you?" Terry Schuester asked from the backseat of the car, "Because the phosphoric acid causes male pattern baldness."

"That sounds fake, but okay," you uttered from the passenger side seat, upfront, looking back at the three blonde girls. Only just being introduced to Terri's even crazier sister, Kendra.

"The baby's a girl."

"Women go bald, too."

"With male pattern baldness ?"

"You worry too much, Terri," her sister said, "Mom smoked and drank a bottle of Riuniti on Ice every night when she was pregnant with us." Your eyes met Quinn's, the same 'what-in-the-actual-fuck' face upon both of yours, the blonde slowly turning to face Kendra with furrowed eyebrows. "And we're totally normal."

"I wouldn't go that far," you commented, "But this is making a lot of sense."

Quinn nodded at you mutedly, trying not to let the women see.

"Just take your vitamins, stay out of the hot tub, and avoid rum-based drinks, and you'll be fine."

'I feel sorry for her kids'

"I just... I've been thinking a lot. About what I actually want to do with the baby."

"You considering keeping it?"

"Maybe." She shrugged. "I don't know yet."

"Well, you know about my feelings with this whole 'giving it to Terri' thing, so anything you choose, I'll support you."

"And if I do end up giving her to Terri?"

"I'll still support you." You nodded. "But I won't act as if I like it."

"I never thought you would." Quinn grabbed your elbow, pulling you to start walking with her. "You know, I think this may be the longest time that you've been serious and haven't cracked a joke."

"I know. It's beat my previous record of one second."

"I'm impressed." She smiled up at you, causing a fluttering to rocket through your chest, travelling through your entire body. Then she spotted Kurt. Once again, pulling you along with her short jog to catch up with the boy. "Hey, Kurt, can I pick your pink brain for a second?"

"Why hello, Quinn. To what do I owe the honour? I do believe this is the first time you've ever spoken to me," he replied with attitude, making your brows raise for a moment. A small smile, ticked at your lips, at the boy's ability to stand up for himself.

"I'm sorry about that," Quinn apologised as more of a formality than anything else, "Anyways, I have a proposition to make: A makeover."

"I'm in!" He said instantly. "Makeovers are like crack to me."

"Uh-huh."

You didn't really like where this was going.

Suspicious of the blondes intentions.

"My suggestion." Kurt paused, taking a moment to evaluate the girl. "SPANX."

"Is that safe?"

"Or a double-knit camisole with a control top for the baby bump."

"I don't know what either of those things are," you mumbled quietly.

"Also, babydoll dresses? Dead giveaway."

"I think she looks nice."

'You also have a crush on her'

"Not for me," Quinn corrected clearly, voice stern.

Kurt looked over at you now, glancing you up and down, opening his mouth, about to speak, when you raised a single finger to stop him.

"Don't even start, Hummel. You can't say shit to me when you're wearing a fedora."

"For Rachel," the blonde continued in the same tone as before.

"Wait, what?" you asked, mildly insulted on your sister's behalf.

"Why would I want to do that?" Kurt asked in a chuckle, "I admit, I like a challenge as much as the next guy, but Rachel somehow manages to dress like a grandmother and a toddler at the same time."

"Hey, that's my sister your talking about there."

Quinn squeezed your arm. Indicating she wanted you to shut up.

"My point exactly."

"Excuse me."

"You're as concerned about the Glee Club succeeding as I am, and she's a distraction."

You leaned as close as you could to the side of the Fabray's face without actually touching it, whispering, "What's your ploy here?"

"Look at her. She's wearing a pantsuit."

Looking past the two, you joined them in staring at your sister, not even twenty feet away, by her locker.

"Okay..." you said slowly, finally relenting, "You're right. She needs help."

"Don't you think the judges are going to take one look at her and maybe want to knock her down a peg or two?"

"Or nine. Or a set of stairs. Why is it bright blue? She knows this isn't a courtroom drama, right? We're in high school."

"And to think. I thought you were a dumb blonde."

"Oh, no. She's actually very smart," you told him, still unable to tear your eyes away from your sister. So, you weren't able to notice said blonde looking up at you, eyes shining slightly at the compliment, "It's crazy, actually. Or at least to me. She finishes her work early sometimes and helps Brittany with hers. Didn't you say you were on the honour roll?" You finally looked to Quinn when you asked her that, finding her to give you a silent nod in answer. "Pretty sure you don't even need to study for tests."

"So you are stalking me." Quinn smiled.

"I'm observant. There's a difference."

"Aha."

"Deal," Kurt finalised, growing uncomfortable watching you and the blonde, quite obviously, flirt in front of him. Before he walked off, leaving you alone with the girl.

"So, you finally gonna tell me what you're really up to?"

"I'm not up to anything." She shook her head lightly and walked past you.

"Oh, come on. You can't say that shit to me. I know when you're plotting something. Your voice gets all soft and sickeningly sweet."

"There's that stalking again."

"Observation!"

---

"-Most of the time, I find it hard to be in the same room with you. Especially this one. Which looks like where Strawberry Shortcake and Holly Hobbie come to hook up."

"See, that's what I said," you spoke up with a smile, from where you leaned against Rachel's doorframe, gaining their attention. Mouth full, with a bowl of cereal in hand, pointing the spoon at the boy.

"Why are you eating cereal?" your sister asked, "It's five in the afternoon."

"This is my third bowl." You jabbed your spoon down at the swimming contents. "We ran out of normal cow milk, so I'm using your vegan bullshit."

Rachel's face was aghast for many reasons.

Mainly being you shitting on her veganism and stealing from her.

"You're extremely talented, Rachel," Kurt said, sitting on the edge of her bed, "Watching you perform is... amazing. But sometimes it's hard to appreciate what a good singer you are because all I'm thinking about is shoving a sock into your mouth."

"Well, what kind of makeover did you have in mind?"

"We need to broaden your appeal. I want every boy at school to do a double-take when you strut past."

"Suddenly, I'm going off of my cereal," you said dryly, looking down at the half-full bowl, but then shrugged and still shovelled another spoonful into your mouth.

"There's really only just." She raised a shoulder awkwardly. "One boy that I'd like to impress."

'No fucking shit', you thought while nodding to yourself.

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course."

You already knew about her hard-core crush on your best friend. And even if she never told you, you would still know with how downright obvious it is.

"I'm in love with Finn."

Your eyes widened at the look on Kurt's face, swallowing the mouthful of cereal.

"Really?"

Rachel nodded, oblivious to the boy's venomous eyes.

"I understand completely." He rose to his feet. Moving to twist your sister back to face the mirror. "Let's move on to makeup. I happen to know for a fact that Finn is attracted to loose women."

"What? Quinn is so wholesome."

You hummed sceptically, moving your head to either side.

"She looks wholesome. But she could rip your heart right out. Through various different ways. Hell, even heartbreak."

'You speak from experience'

"Let me put this into musical theatre parlance. In 'Grease'. What did Sandy do to get Danny Zuko?"

"Start smoking?"

"She had to ditch the poodle skirt and slap on a catsuit. In short, she had to dress like a ho."

"I don't think catsuit's make you a ho. And what's wrong with being a ho, anyway?"

"Maybe if your look was better-"

"Wow, I'm invisible in my own home now. That's great."

"-More desirable, Finn would be in your arms right now. Instead of Quinn's."

Oh, how you envied him.

You shook your head, trying to fling those thoughts from your mind. Sighing deeply once you finished. Only to see a smile slowly growing on your sisters face at the boy she saw through the mirror.

"God, you look like the Grinch when you do that."

---

"Some of you, particularly the guys, and Y/N, have come up to me with some questions about Hairography."

"My question was, 'do I have to do this?'."

That gained a chuckle from the club, along with a humoured shake of the head from your teacher.

"One of our own," he started up again, "Has volunteered to walk us through it. And she has got it down. Brittany, take it away." Mr Schue gestured to the girl.

"Take what away?"

"Show us what you got," he rephrased.

"Oh." Brittany stepped forward. "So, Hairography. It works best when you pretend like you're getting tasered. So you just move your head around like you're spazzing and stuff."

"Oh, that's a bad word."

Pulling the tie from her hair, she began to give you all a demonstration. Looking like she was about to give herself whiplash.

"You guys, it's like cool epilepsy."

You didn't get the chance to say something about that, instead too focused on the girl beside you.

"Santana, you have to take your hair out," you told the Latina girl. Watching as she swung her hair around beside you, "Otherwise, you're looking like you're trying to take off, like a helicopter."

She laughed, rising to her full height, playfully pushing you into Mike.

You joined in on the madness of whipping your hair around with your friends.

"God," you husked dizzily once you stopped, "I just lost more brain cells than I usually do when I'm talking to Finn."

"Hey!"

Laughter bounded through the room at your joke but was quickly silenced when you heard your teacher yelling, turning to see him and Coach Sylvester standing outside the choir room.

"I resent that accusation, William. And one I understand you've been making to our friends at Haverbrook and Jane Addams."

"How would she know that?"

"And it's an outrageous affront to my sterling reputation!" she repeatedly yelled at the man. Getting closer to him every time she did, "That being said, fine, I have been checking up on you. Because I don't like what's going on in there."

"I don't like it either," you cringed, trying to remove the long hair that had gotten caught in your mouth.

"Do you know why I make each of my Cheerios wear her hair pulled back in a ponytail?" Sue asked.

And you answered.

"So it's easier to pull when they're getting fu-" you were unable to finish your sentence, thanks to the groan pouring from your mouth. Hunched over and holding your stomach, where your sister had just hit you.

"Because I don't want to distract from her impeccable talent."

"Or that," you wheezed.

"You seem to be taking the opposite approach, Will. And that leads me to believe you know your kids don't have what it takes."

"I believe in my kids."

"Well, maybe in the beginning, but not now. Not that you've seen the competition that threatens your very position at this school!" Sue argued back before her demand came, "You're going to get me an updated setlist by five o'clock tomorrow. And if there's anything on that list that involves demeaning, fruity hair tossing, I'm cutting it!

"I will not let you dictate my number choices." He pointed at the coach, leaning towards the woman. "And you are not getting that list."

"Well, then I'm back as co-director."

And with that, she was gone.

"It must be a cold day in hell. Because I kinda agree with her."

---

A familiar tune could be heard through your walls as you lounged, intently playing your game.

Soon followed by the sound of your best friend singing.

I got chills, they're multiplying

Your head turned to peer at the wall behind you, the one you shared with your sister.

And I'm losing control

'Finn's here? When did he get here? And why the hell didn't you know?'

Shaking your head, you tried to ignore his singing, returning your attention to the paused game on your screen.

Until you heard your sister's voice joining in.

You better shape up

'Cause I need a man

But my heart is set on you

"Wait, stop, stop."

'Oh, thank God!'

You couldn't have been more thankful for the boy if you had tried at that moment. Having an idea of what was going on in that room and what your sister was trying to do.

Quickly being pulled away by your phone vibrating with a call by your side.

"Hello?"

"Y/N?" Quinn.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I need your help," she said, panicked.

"You're not getting kicked out again, are you?"

"Oh, ha ha," she replied sarcastically, but you could hear crashing in the background, causing you to sit up straight with worry.

"Quinn, is everything okay?"

"No. I was suppose- Don't touch that," she told someone sternly on her end of the call, "I was supposed to be babysitting with Puck, but he cancelled on me, and now he's not picking up, and I don't know what to do."

"And so you want me to help?" you asked slowly, pointing to yourself, even though she couldn't see you.

"Yes!"

"Okay, okay, where are you?"

So much for having some time for yourself.

---

"I told you we should have been the cops."

This was so not how you were planning on your Friday night to go.

Tied, back to back, to two chairs. The blonde's head bumped against yours as she tried to look around to talk to you.

"Well, I thought they would be more ethical and destroy less stuff that way," you reasoned. Watching as the three kids ran around chasing each other and hitting random objects with cushions, "Turns out, they're dedicated and act more so like real cops. I mean, this place does look like it just got raided."

Quinn quickly sighed, "What are we gonna do about this?"

"Bribe them? Give them doughnuts? Be thankful that they don't have guns-?"

"Enough," she ordered, wriggling back and forth harshly in her seat, in a means to try and break free. All the while, you sat perfectly still, "Help me with this knot. I've almost got it."

"Okay, okay. I'm never gonna look at skipping ropes the same way."

Reaching behind you, you blindly tried to help Quinn as the kids continued to run amok. But just as you thought you were reaching for the knot, your hand wrapped around hers, making everything stand still for a second.

Well, except the three little monsters disguised as children, that is.

Groaning, the blonde continued her movements. Sliding her hand out of yours, and finally releasing herself, and consequently you.

"Stop that! Not the table!"

"It really is a raid!"

"Y/N!" Quinn scolded you next, "Think of something!"

"Like what?! Do you want me to put a dress on and do the hula?" You bent over yourself, laughing at your own referenced joke, the angered Fabray staring you down as two of the three kids hit you with cushions. The third ran up to join in before the blonde stopped him, trying to take his own plush weapon away.

"Real suggestions, Y/N!"

"I don't know, it's bedtime, isn't it? Rachel made me buy a new guitar because, and I quote, "your guitar does nothing for my voice", she may be my sister, and I love her, but I hate her, sometimes. Anyway, it's still in my car. Why don't we sing them a lullaby?"

"Give me this." She finally pulled the cushion from the boy at the same time you disarmed the other two. "Hey, kids, look at me." Surprisingly, they did. "Want to see a real live music video?"

"Yeah," one of the boys said, nodding.

"Wait, music video, I didn't sign up for that."

"Go get your guitar," Quinn spoke slowly and in a dangerous voice. One that almost made your heart fall out of your ass.

"Yes, ma'am." You nodded. Quickly tapping the boy's you had taken the cushions from, over their heads, throwing them away, and running from the house before anything could come of it.

Not even five minutes later, and you were sitting upon the couch, guitar on your lap, and Quinn singing behind you.

Papa, I know you're going to be upset

'Cause I always was your little girl

But you should know by now, I'm not a baby

The blonde pulled you back with one hand on your shoulder as she leant forward to sing close to your face peering up at her. Breath caught in your throat, and a small smile on your face.

You always taught me right from wrong

I need your help, Daddy, please be strong

You couldn't take your eyes off of her, just like the three boys, as she rounded the couch.

I may be young at heart, but I know what I'm sayin'

The fluttering in your chest came back tenfold when she glanced at you with a smile before continuing to sing to the boys.

The one you warned me all about

The one you said I could do without

Now, she was the one who couldn't take her eyes away from you as she sang.

A wave came over you before you started thinking you were crazy, for even thinking that maybe, just maybe, she was feeling the same way about you at that moment.

We're in an awful mess

And I don't mean maybe, please

Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep

Papa don't preach, I been losing sleep

Dancing and spinning in place now, you couldn't remember the last time seeing Quinn this loose.

But I made up my mind, I'm keepin' my baby

Ooh, I'm gonna keep my baby

She finished it off with a vocalised hum

"Does that mean you're not giving your baby to the crazy lady?" you grew silent after your initial words. Realising that it wasn't only you and the blonde alone. Continuing to turn and face the three ginger boys still watching you from their seats on the couch. Quinn following your line of sight to them also, both of you blank-faced and uneasy, before you forced a smile, "Not your aunt. I was talking about another crazy lady."

"Smooth, Y/N," Quinn spoke as the three boys giggled, "Maybe you should join the CIA with Brittany," she then continued to reference what you had said when the blonde cheerleader had been caught taking pictures of the team's dance steps for Sue Sylvester.

"You know what? Maybe I should." You nodded.

"Sing it again," the same boy from before said, leaning forward excitedly, a bright smile on his face, once he grew tired of your and the blondes conversation.

You looked to Quinn, who ticked her brow at you and smiled. Both thinking the same thing.

'We know how to work them, now'

Coming back down the stairs, you spotted Quinn browsing through the bookshelf as the boys got ready for bed.

"What would be a good story to read the kids?" She asked as you came closer.

"Mein Kampf?" Realising the words that just slipped from your mouth, you gave a deep sigh while the blonde looked over her shoulder at you, watching as you rubbed a hand across your face, then slapped your palm into your forehead, "See why I shouldn't be around people?"

"You really like dark jokes, don't you?"

"It just slipped out!"

"Your family's Jewish."

"I know!"

"What would they have done if they heard that?"

"Well, Rachel and one of my dad's would be appalled. And my other dad would be losing his shit."

"In a good or bad way?" Quinn asked cautiously.

"Oh, a good way. He'd be crying laughing. I mean, I do get my dark jokes from somewhere."

"I thought you were adopted."

"Technicalities!"

"How come the kids only aimed for me during their bath?" you asked quietly once you had slipped from the room, the three boys now fast asleep inside. Shirt and hair still wet from where they had splashed you.

"They know I'm pregnant."

"Well, I don't think that's fair."

The girl hummed, popping into the bathroom for a moment before reemerging with a towel in hand. Unfurling it and throwing it over your head, rubbing it in hopes to dry your hair somewhat, before moving it down to try and dry your shirt.

"Thanks," you said lowly, unable to pull your eyes from the girl as you reached up to take the towel from her. Instead, encasing her hand in yours for the second time today.

"You're welcome."

"So, about that song."

"Which one?" The blonde turned and smiled over her shoulder, leading the way back down to the living room.

"The first one," you clarified, "How are you doing? You know, with everything."

Quinn sighed.

"I needed help, and instead, my father abandoned me. How do you think I'm feeling?"

"I. I'm sorry. I just."

"I know," she stopped your rambling before it could even start, "You just wanna know how I am."

You didn't have much free time without the kids, as at that moment, Kendra and Terri walked through the door to find you two conversing in the entryway.

Both of them were disturbed by the silence.

"Did you kill them?" Kendra asked.

Quinn chuckled lightly and shook her head, "No, they're just upstairs."

Groaning, you asked, "Now I gotta go upstairs again?"

"I think this is the first time they have all been asleep at the same time," Kendra said, astounded as she looked into the room the boys were fast asleep in. "What's that smell?" she continued to ask, a sneer taking over her face.

"Soap," Quinn said simply.

Which shocked the two older blondes, who snapped their heads towards her.

"You got them to take a bath?" Terri asked, only further shocked by the revelation.

Quinn nodded, with a tiny, almost inaudible 'mm-hm'

"Not just them. They practically gave me a bath with how much they splashed me," you commented, still wiping the wetness from your body, then you gave a small shrug and a half-smile, "But, oh well, they're good kids."

"What?" Terri asked for clarification.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, they're full of energy and rambunctious as all hell. But you just gotta know how to-" You mimed using a fishing rod. "Reel 'em in."

"What are you two, a pair of Exorcist's?" Kendra asked.

Smirked, you glanced down to the girl, expecting her to be looking up at you the same way. But instead found her biting her lip to try and stop herself from smiling too much.

'Oh, don't do that'

You looked up and opposite from her, face pulled tight, trying to get the feelings inside of you to stop.

'What as this girl doing to you?'

---

You left the house not too long later, not wanting to be around the two nut jobs for longer than you had to. Shrugging on your jacket with Quinn by your side.

"Here," she said, handing you some green notes, pushing some into her own pocket.

Looking down at them confusingly, you asked, "What's this?"

"Half of the money from the babysitting job?" she replied as if it were obvious.

You gave a soft snort, folding up the money and pushing it into her pocket.

"Hey!"

"I don't want it."

"Y/N..." she said in a slow, almost chastising voice.

"Quinn..." you replied in kind.

"It's not fair."

"You need it more than I do."

"But-" Before she could finish her argument, you threw your arm around her shoulders, pulling the girl in close.

"Consider it a part of the lone if you have to, but I'm not taking it."

You felt her sigh against you as you walked to your parked cars.

"Fine."

"Good."

"Thank you," she breathed.

"No need to thank me, if anything, I should thank you, I had fun tonight."

Quinn smiled up at you, "So did I."

"So, do you think you can do this? This whole parenting thing?"

"You know... I think I can." She nodded.

"Yeah, and you'd be calling me up every day." You morphed your hand, folding your fingers to make it look like a phone. "'Y/N, come over, I need your help'."

Quinn chuckled at your words before you turned serious. Well, as serious as you could be.

"I would, you know. Help you raise her, if you asked me."

The blonde stopped walking suddenly, peering up at you, trying to tell if you were lying or what. To see what was running through your mind.

"I couldn't ask you to do that." She shook her head.

"If it came to it," you whispered in a breath, "You wouldn't have to."

"I..."

She didn't finish what she was going to say. Or even if she knew what to say in the first place.

Instead, she leaned up and pressed a kiss against your cheekbone before dropping back down to her feet.

"Bye, Y/N," she spoke softly, sliding into her car and driving away.

Maybe this wasn't how you expected your Friday night to go.

But you couldn't find it in yourself to mind all that much.

Or at all.

---

Clash.

"You set me up. With Finn!"

"What is it with you and slamming lockers?!" you asked, holding your chest right above where your heart was racing underneath.

"Looks like someone is running for drama queen again."

"How could you do that?" Rachel leaned in closer to speak softly to Kurt, "I thought we were friends."

"Seriously, guys, think she might have given me a heart problem."

"And what made you think that? You should be thanking me," he said, "All I did was help you realize that your schoolgirl fantasy of running off with Finn was nothing but a fairytale."

"You like him," Rachel stated as if finally fitting a puzzle piece together, "Yeah, that's, that's what this is. And you were just trying to eliminate the competition."

"Why are you making it sound like some sort of a war? You gonna come to the school in full camo next? Well, maybe I won't be the only invisible one then because you two are obviously ignoring me."

And they were.

"I was just helping him understand that you are not a viable second choice."

"You think I'm a second choice?"

"And there they go!" you called fauxly, gesturing to them as they walked down the hall.

"A distant second."

"Oh, you think I'm living in a fairytale? If I were second or if I were 50th, I'd still be ahead of you because I'm a girl."

You halted in your steps behind her, the sudden reality washing down on you with your own crush on someone who would never want you.

'Fuck that stings'

"Okay, here's the dope, princess:-"

"You have drugs?"

"-There's no hope for either of us. He loves Quinn. They're having a baby together. We're nothing but distractions. The sooner we realise that, the better."

'Yeah, that stings even worse now'

Turning on your heel, you headed to get your own things out of your locker, greeting Quinn when you saw her by her own.

Only for another slam of a locker to come, not even a few minutes later.

This time by Santana.

"Jesus," you whispered, "What is it with people and slamming lockers today? I better not get a headache."

"Keep your paws off my man," the Latina told the blonde, "Clear?"

Quinn scoffed, "Who's your man?"

"Don't play stupid, tubbers. Oh, and for the record, asking someone to babysit with you is super '90s."

"Uh, I'm actually the one who babysat with her," you pointed out, confused but feeling like you knew where this was going.

"I happen to know that Puck cares about me."

"Excuse me? I don't think he cared that much on Friday."

"Oh, wake up!" Santana snapped, "While you two were babysitting." She waved a finger in between you and Quinn. "Puck and I were sexting."

"So he ditched her." You pointed to the blonde with your thumb. "And still was too lazy to have actual sex."

"Sexting?" She asked, confused.

"Sexy texting. Seriously, what era are you from?" Santana snarked, "While you and Y/N were "playing house", and Puck was getting a fake ID, we were trading super-hot texts. Why don't you check his cell phone? 'Cause, my sexts are too hot to erase."

"Well," you said slowly, as the Latina walked away, "Now we know what he was doing."

---

The performance for the Glee Club for Haverbrook's school was... yeah...

"Take this thing off of me," you groaned, ripping the wig off of your head as soon as you were able to. Flinging it onto the piano as you sat down to watch the other Glee Club perform.

'Oh no'

'Don't fucking cry in school'

Mercedes joined in with them, which in all honesty, just made you wanna cry more.

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace, yoo-hoo-ooh-ooh

With Arite rolling up to sing with them, it inspired the rest of you to do the same.

I hope someday you will join us

And the world will be as one

Standing in between two of the uniformed girls, you tried to copy how they were signing. One of them, leaning in closer to help you.

Somehow, your dumbass managed to punch yourself in the face, but that's neither here nor there.

Hey, at least she thought it was amusing.

Imagine no possessions

I wonder if you can

No need for greed or hunger

A brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people

Sharing all the world

You

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you will join us

And the world will live as one

The three men watching raised their hands and signed applause. Mr Schue, looking about ready to bawl at any second. As you celebrated with the girls by your sides, giving them both high-fives.

"Wait, wait, wait," you said urgently, rushing down the halls behind a Quinn with a destination, "If you're gonna castrate Puck, I've gotta see this."

Reaching into his locker, she pulled out his phone and began searching through it.

"Hey, baby."

"Ew."

"Um... you really don't wanna do that."

"Oh, I am loving this."

"Do you mind?" He snapped at you.

"Not at all."

"You lied to me," Quinn interrupted your and the boy's upcoming argument, showing him the phone.

Reaching over, you grabbed it.

"I gotta see this shit for myself."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're not."

"I tried to resist Santana. I did. But I'm young, and girls have this power over me," he said as if that was a good excuse, "But, hey, it's all good."

"It's definitely not all good."

"You know what else isn't good? These sexts. I mean, listen to this, 'I've got something of yours', 'let's hook it up tonight', 'tell me about your panties', 'not wearing any', hot." A slap from Quinn. "Ow. 'You are smokin' and when' yada yada, 'do you think I'm too hot?', 'you so hot and stuff'- You so hot and stuff? Man, you have no game. How girls want to sleep with you, I have no idea."

"Oh, and like you can do better?!"

"Compared to you, I can actually make a girl come."

"I thought you wanted to be with me."

'Um, ow. That hurt worse than the slap to the arm'

"I do. Like, a lot. But you haven't given it up to me since the night I knocked you up-"

Throwing his phone back into his locker, you turned on him.

"What?"

Quinn grabbed your arm, stopping you from pouncing on the boy.

"-and, baby, I'm a dude. I have needs."

"So, you expect to raise a baby with me and text dirty messages to every other girl at this school if I don't give it up to you every day?"

"No." Puck reclined his head back and pulled a face as if he thought her words were absurd. "Just the hot girls."

Quinn scoffed lightly as your anger rose.

"Look, I'm going to be a good dad, but I'm not going to stop being me to do it."

"You... are the biggest idiot I have ever met," you told him once Quinn had walked away.

---

"You can have her."

"Are you serious?" Terri asked.

"Yeah, are you serious?" you piped up, from where you stood not too far away from the two, with your hands stuffed into your jacket pockets. Not liking what was happening at that moment.

"A girl really needs a good father. And the only way she's going to get that is if I give her to you."

'Oh, hello, Quinn's deep-seated daddy issues'

"You think Mr Schue's going to be a good father, don't you?"

"Yeah," Terri breathed, "I think he's going to be an amazing dad. Will!"

"Hey, guys," your Spanish teacher greeted, coming closer to your little group in the living room.

"I thought you were going to be at the scrap yard all afternoon."

"Oh, yeah, uh, change of plans. Got distracted with something else. Uh, Quinn, Y/N, what are you guys doing here?" he asked.

"Oh, girl talk. We're exchanging pregnancy war stories."

"And I'm her ride," you said, pointing to Quinn, "And also traumatized by what they've been talking about." Which wasn't all that far from the truth. You weren't 'traumatized', but you didn't like it one bit.

"Oh, that's... nice."

"Not nice. Very, very, not nice."

He laughed. "I'll take your word for it, Y/N." Then turning to his wife, he continued, "Well, when you get a sec, can you meet me out in the garage, Ter?"

"Oh, we were just leaving, so," Quinn said, rising to her feet.

"I guess we're leaving then. Or... not," you added when you saw the younger blonde stop in front of your teacher.

"Yes?"

Quinn didn't reply. Only moved in to give him a hug. The man slowly wrapped his own arms around her.

"Later, Mr Schue."

"I, uh, I'm gonna pass on the hug if you don't mind," you said, walking past the man slowly, watching as Quinn made her way to the door. Making sure she was out of earshot before you leaned in to whisper to the man, "She just needed a hug from a dad."

Then you left with the girl.

Saying nothing as you made your way to the car until you stopped just a few feet from it. Quinn turned to face you.

"Y'know," you began, shrugging and moving your hands that were still in your pockets, making them almost look like penguin wings, "My offer still stands."

"I know it does." She nodded, which soon turned into a shake of her head once she read your face for long enough.

She had never seen you look so mature.

You were too young.

You were both too young.

And so, that's what she told you.

"We're too young. You still have your whole life ahead of you. And so do I. We can't do this. Not yet. We deserve to live first."

You could see that she meant every word she said.

"Okay." You nodded.

"Okay?"

"I told you I'd support you in whatever choice you made. And that's what I'm going to do." Reaching over, you pulled the passenger side door open for the girl, bowing as you directed your free hand to the empty seat. "Your ride awaits, my lady."

Quinn chuckled, sliding into the car, but before you could close the door for her, she spoke.

"You're a really great person, you know that, Y/N?"

"I try."

---

"Can we be in love again?"

"Gross," you commented with a smile as you walked past the two, it slowly falling the further away you got.

Looking over your shoulder, you found the two hugging.

And that sinking feeling erupted within you again.

Jealousy.

At least now you had a word for it.

Watching as your sister came around the corner, the young couple walking past her, and then Kurt, all three of you glued to your place.

At least you knew you weren't alone.

-----

Prev Part | Next Part

[spidernerdsblog]

Hey dear💟 how are you? Can I ask for some mob!tom smut?? Like he's smoking a cigar at a boring wedding when he meets a mob!reader and after talking a bit things just happen and he takes her home for fucking all night?

Oh and ends in fluff??

Hi nonnie! I'm fine hope you are well too. Here's your request hope you like this.

Pairing : Mob! Tom Holland x Mob! Reader

Warnings : 18+, SMUT, mature content, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it)

His Queen, Her King

Being the mob boss Tom had to be a part of various social gatherings, galas, parties etc but the most he dreaded were weddings. Especially when you're an eligible bachelor, people around you are constantly nagging you with the most evident question ‘when is your turn?’ There were several occasions where the leaders of other mobs had tried to set him up with their daughters to forge an alliance but he would turn them down every time because he never found them to be his match. He likes to be in control but that doesn’t mean he would settle for a mere puppet who would dress up pretty and do as told, he wanted someone powerful, fierce who would challenge his authority, a real queen to his vast empire.  

It was one of his childhood friends' wedding day so he couldn't say no. The hall was buzzing with people as he was seated with a couple of his friends at a table drinking and laughing loudly talking about their busy lives and their businesses. One hour to the wedding reception and Tom was already bored he lit up a cigar and took a long puff from it watching everyone silently. 

Just then you walk in through the doors in a long red silk dress hugging your body like a second skin with a thigh high slit paired with pointed stilettos making heads turn. Your hair styled into loose curls cascading down your shoulders complimenting your dewy makeup. Your wrists and ears sparkling with the most priceless authentic diamonds.  Apart from being the maid of honor you are the only woman in the mob business who owns the biggest diamond business in the country. 

People were obviously envious of your power though they never dare to say anything to your face but you have heard how people think you just got lucky with the business as the only daughter of your father, women have no place in the mob even to the extent of being slut shamed and being accused of sleeping with your rivals to run the business. You had simply shrugged it off and showed those people with a flourishing business and earning double profits than your father used to earn when he used to run the mob. You walk over to your best friend.

“Congratulations Jane, finally you’re a married woman now!” you give her a hug.

“Thanks Y/N it feels like a dream honestly” she chirps “but when are you…”

“Please you also don’t start” you both chuckled and continued gossiping.

“Man why are these receptions so dull and boring��� Matt groaned “couldn’t they do it at a bar or strip club?”

“Yeah it would have been fun to watch your wife beat the shit out of you after you flirted with one of the strippers” Carl mocked to which everyone laughed out loud including Tom.

“Hey!!” Matt revolted in protest as all of them laughed again.

Your conversation was constantly getting disturbed with their constant brawls and loud laughter. Even the other guests had a frown on their face with the noise they were making.

“I apologize on behalf of my friends, they can sometimes be a little loud” Paul the groom said apologetically.

"It’s ok I know how to deal with guys like them. Let me handle it” You offer and stride your way to their table. 

“Sorry to crash the fun boys but some of us are actually here to attend the reception not to hear your meaningless chatter” you jibe forcing a smile as the men turn their attention towards you. Tom puts down his cigar blowing out the smoke as he takes a quick glance of you.

“I'm sorry love, are we offending you?” he remarks with a smolder and the men around him hollered. The corner of your lips quirk into a sly smirk as you step closer to him drawing a finger along his jawline.

“It will take a lot more than this baby face to offend me” you taunt him back with a grin amusing everyone including Tom at your comeback.

“Oooh damn!” the men hollered again while you turned your back and strutted off to join your friends again. Tom just sat there completely blown away by your boldness. He had heard about you but now that he saw you he understood that you weren’t just a beautiful face after all who just got lucky in the mob business you were a complete badass. The very image of you radiates power and triumph. 

His eyes seeked yours the whole time and then he found you finally all by yourself near the open bar drinking a glass of whisky. He approaches you as he clears his throat.

“Ahem, hey” you lift your eyes from the glass and then put it down on the counter smacking your lips.

“Here to apologise for being a jerk?” you quip.

“I thought we were even already” he remarks with a smug grin.

“Yeah maybe” you half shrug

“Tom Holland by the way” he reaches his hand out and you dismiss it by picking your glass again and taking a sip. 

“I know who you are, the boss of the most powerful mob in London” you say nonchalantly

“Keeping tabs I see” he smirks as he signals the bartender to hand him a drink as well.

“It’s a risky business Holland you gotta keep records about your potential rivals” you state blandly.

“Absolutely, couldn’t agree more” he takes a sip wincing at the strong taste of the drink. 

“So all alone? Bossman didn’t get any arm candy for the night?” you snicker.

“Only a queen fits beside a king like me darling and I haven’t found one yet , what about you?”

“Well I haven’t found my king either” you clink your glass to his as you both gulp down your drinks.

“You look ravishing in that dress I must say” he compliments with a suave in his voice.

“Thank you. You don’t look bad either” you flirt back as you bite the corner of your lip checking him dressed in an Armani suit the Rolex on his wrist glinting in the golden light of the chandeliers.  

“I really admire you. Honestly it’s really hard and dangerous to run a business when you’re a woman” there was a different kind of sparkle in his eyes which you recognize very well.

“What can I say I just love playing with danger” you shrug with sass in your voice. 

“You wanna get out of here? I’m sure nobody will miss us” he licks his lips eyes darkening with pure desire. 

“Well what are we waiting for?” you smirk with a mischievous glint in your eyes both of you coming to a silent agreement.

The whole ride to his mansion was a blur as soon as you were inside he had you pinned up against the door as his lips met yours hungrily. His lips tasted of burnt cigar and whisky.  He started leaving trails of kisses on your jaw and neck while his hand snaked down to your thighs through the slit of your dress unclasping the thigh holster from your leg as it dropped on the ground with a loud clatter. His hand moved further to your flimsy lace thong to feel your sex. 

“So wet already, love? I haven't even touched you properly” you can hear the smirk in his voice. His hand goes to unzip your dress as he leans in for a kiss but you stop him placing two fingers on his lips slowly tracing them. 

“Bedroom?” you ask breathing heavily.

“Upstairs left” he informs between shallow breaths.

You gave him a peck on his cheek and made your way up the stairs. Tom’s eyes never left you as he watched you slide the thin straps of your dress off your shoulders and dropping it off on the floor striding away in just your strapless bra and thong your heels clacking against the marble floor. Tom scoffed in amusement a toothy grin forming on his face . You were really something who was just driving him crazy.

The moment he walked in the bedroom he felt himself twitch inside his pants. There you were sitting in the middle at the edge of the bed slightly leaning on your palms with your legs crossed one above the other. You looked like a viscous siren slowly entrapping him with your charm and beauty. 

“Nice bedroom” You gently smoothed the silk sheets with your hand.

“Glad you liked it” he said smiling.

“Are you just gonna stand over there?” You unclipped your bra and lazily dropped it on the floor putting on a show for him as you lifted a hand pointing a finger motioning him to come closer. A low groan escaped from his mouth at the sight of your exposed breasts as he strolled towards you unbuttoning his shirt and shrugging it off his body drinking in your almost naked form with lustful eyes. You subconsciously licked your lips marveling his taut muscles. He tilted your chin up as you gazed in his brown eyes with parted lips.

“God you’re gonna be the death of me” he mumbles in a husky voice.

���That was the plan all the time, I can then take over your mob” you giggle playfully.

“You minx” he knelt down to capture your red tinted lips passionately tongues clashing against each other as you ran your fingers across his abdomen, nails scraping his skin. He gently pushes you down on the mattress as you shift back in the middle of the bed. He spreads your legs to accommodate himself as he crawls up to be at level to your face pressing a soft kiss to your swollen lips. Goosebumps covered your skin as you felt his bulge brushing on your thighs. You tilted your head to the side as he took the opportunity to suck marks on the nape of your neck. One hand squeezing your ass the other palming your breast as he placed butterfly kisses all over your skin.

“So pretty” he mumbles, pressing kisses between the valley of your breasts,you shuddered when he flicked his tongue over your sensitive bud.

“Oh” you gasped when he wrapped his mouth around your breast sucking the nipple between his teeth, kneading the other fingers pinching and tugging on it. After paying equal attention to the other one too before continuing his journey south. Your stomach flutters as his lips trail down your rib cage, navel the cold gold chain dangling down his neck feeling ticklish against your hot skin. He placed a soft kiss over your soaked panties and you felt that your body was set to fire as you gasped lightly chest heaving up and down. A smirk forms on his face as he moves to kiss your inner thighs ignoring the place where you needed him the most.

“Please” you let out a quiet whimper

“Please what darling?” he whispers with a husky voice. 

“Touch me” 

“I’m touching you love” he lightly chuckles, you whined in protest. “You gotta be more specific with your demands, love, what do you need?” he coos.

“I-I need you, your mouth” you breathed out. 

“See that wasn’t so hard” he practically rips off your thong and throws the shredded fabric away letting out a low growl at the sight of your glistening cunt. He hooked his arms to your thighs, the rings on his fingers felt cold against your skin. He licks a long stripe up your folds sending jolts of pleasure up your body making you squirm in his hold.

“So sweet” he mumbles against your heat. You let out a soft gasp, your hands threading into his soft brown curls as he swirled his tongue through your folds.

You cry out when his tongue flicks your swollen clit giving his hair a harsh tug he groans into your heat. He continued to suck on your clit between his lips pushing a thick digit inside you. Your body arched bucking your hips into his mouth he had to place a hand on your lower stomach to keep you in place. He then adds another finger pumping it in and out of you his teeth grazing your sensitive bud soothing it after with his tongue immediately. 

“Fuck!” You moaned feeling euphoric eyes fluttering shut as he devoured you. Your body tensed up when he added another finger to your heat, your one hand was pulling his hair painfully and the other squeezing your breast rolling your nipple between your fingers. He curled his fingers hitting your spot sending you over the edge.

“C’mon love, let it go want you to cum all over my fingers” he moaned into your heat the vibrations leading you to tumble down the edge as you came undone around his fingers. He helped you ride your high still sucking on your clit, your legs trembled as he lapped up all your juices. He pulled away after sometime his chin glistening with your arousal. 

He got rid of his dress pants along with his boxers and then crawled over to you. You gazed into his warm brown eyes still in your post orgasmic haze as you pulled him down to capture his lips with an urgent need. You tasted yourself on his lips as he deepened the kiss grinding his hips into yours. 

A soft gasp escaped your lips when you felt the tip of his member brushed against your entrance. He gripped his member giving it a few pumps before lining up against your core. You placed a hand flat on his stomach signalling him to stop. He knitted his brow in confusion when you flipped him over to be on top him sitting on the back of your knee straddling his waist. 

“I wanna ride you” you whisper in a sultry voice and his lips curl up to a smirk.

“Then go ahead, darling” he shuffles back a little resting himself comfortably against the headboard. You brought your hand to your mouth and gave it lick before grabbing his member using it for lubrication, slowly pumping his length and lining it up to your weeping core. Your breath hitched when you felt his tip slide through your entrance stretching your walls in a nice way. You slowly sank down on his length feeling so full of him. You stayed like that, your walls warm and snug squeezing him like a vice. Tom groaned when you clenched around him. 

“Oh god Y/N please move or I'm not gonna last for another minute” you leaned down to kiss him starting to move your hips slowly adjusting to his thick shaft.

“Shit” He hissed as you lifted yourself hand gripping on his thighs for leverage to go a little faster, the soft sound of your skin slapping against each other filled the room. Your stomach clenched as you paced up and down his cock, each time filling you up to the hilt. His hands held your hips, fingers digging in your skin groans rumbled in Tom’s throat as he clenched his jaw. He gazed at you with hooded eyes smitten by the way your back arches towards him and your tits bounce with every thrust.

You started to feel a little exhausted, a thin sheen of sweat lining your bodies as you slowed down your pace. Tom’s hands slid down to your ass, spreading your cheeks as he took control, thrusting up into you. You jolted forward moaning out loud, grasping on to his shoulders tightly for support. 

“Just because you're on the top don't think you're in control darling” he says cheekily you let out a light chuckle at his comment before whimpering when his cock hit your sweet spot.

He lifted his knees, planting the heels of his feet into the mattress for leverage as he began to fuck you roughly. He grunted, feeling your walls clench around his cock with every thrust of his hips. You leaned down to kiss him sloppily he reciprocates by slipping his tongue into your mouth swirling it inside your mouth. You moaned into the kiss as you felt a tight knot build inside your stomach.

“Tom” you moan breathlessly, eyes squeezing shut as your hands slide down his shoulder to his chest nails scratching his skin.

“Gonna cum again for me love?” Tom murmured against your lips as he spanked your ass lightly. You nodded your head vigorously starting to roll your hips desperately. He brought his thumb to your swollen clit and rubbed circles as the coil inside you snapped and you screamed out your orgasm hitting you like a ton of bricks. Tom wasn’t too far either as he continued rutting his hips and soon he was spilling inside you.

“Fuck.” He moaned as his face screwed up in pleasure, his eyebrows furrowing as he emptied his seed into your tight pussy, not letting go of his grip on your body. You collapsed onto his chest panting both of you catching your breath, your walls still pulsating around his cock, deeply buried inside you. He caressed your back gently, your chest pressed to his, head resting over his heart as you listened to his steady heartbeat while your fingers fiddled with the chain around his neck. He took your hand and kissed on your knuckles gently brushing his thumb over them lovingly.

“I really like you” he finally spoke out

“What?” you frowned, still a bit dizzy.

“I think I have fallen in love with you Y/N” he confesses softly as you straighten yourself to look him in the eyes.

“Are you asking me out when you are literally balls deep inside me?” you snicker raising your eyebrows.

“I’m serious Y/N” he cradles your face with both of his hands “the moment I saw you I knew you are the one I have been waiting for all my life. A strong, independent and fearless woman who doesn’t need anyone, you are a hell of a queen, Y/N. I want this queen to be only mine, together we can rule the world love. I don’t want this to be a one night thing I want to make love to you every night, kiss every inch of your body and appreciate you, adore you” he rants

“The last part sounded a little creepy though” you chuckled “Well I do like you too my king let’s just take things slow and see where it goes maybe?”

“Sure my queen” he smiles as you kiss him softly.

................................................................................

[urmomsmainbitch]

wonder woman

requested: yes / no

pairing: max mayfield x fem!reader

warnings: pining, angst, swearing, mentions of death, mentions of school, omg the writing is shit i’m so sorry

a/n: i love lucas so much (based off of i wish you liked girls by abbey glover)

i grew pretty attached to you, like a dog on a lead / thought you were everything i could have ever dreamed of, and more than i could ever need

The phone was cool against her ear, ringing for the third time as she twisted your fingers into the cord, tapping her foot impatiently. This was the second time that she had tried Max that evening; once before dinner, and now once after. She’s probably still eating, one part of her said. No, she’s probably off making out with Lucas, the other said. Nibbling on her lip, Y/N leaned into the doorframe, letting her entire body slump against the wall as she slid down, before landing on the cold hardwood floor. Max had only started taking this long to answer recently – once she and Lucas had become official, and more serious. Ever since high school started, you never saw Lucas without Max, and Max without Lucas.

“C’mon, Maxie,” Y/N murmured, tapping her finger and trying the girl again, looking at the watch on her wrist. She’d even waited half an hour after Max normally ate dinner, hoping to catch her so they could talk to each other. They hadn’t been doing that as often, the redhead never wanting to spend a waking moment away from her boyfriend. Y/N saw it, she supposed, Lucas wasn’t a bad looking guy, and he was nice. But he was nice. That was it. He wasn’t smart, or funny, or entertaining. He was just there. Just a phase, she kept telling herself, Lucas is just a phase. But what after Lucas? What happened when Max finally took notice of Matt Donahue in her math class, who’s always making googly eyes at her? Or, what if she just happened to meet Sam Davis’ eyes in English? What then? Lucas would be forgotten, sure, but he’d be replaced in nearly no time.

On her third attempt, she hung up the phone, slamming it into the receiver. That was the second time this week.

always thought you looked at me differently than any other you’d see / thought you were aching to see me at any, any possibility

“So, what should we do?” Max asked her, bright eyes looking between her and El, who was sitting on the other end of the bed, laying on her stomach as she flipped through a comic book. El didn’t used to come to their sleepovers. Come to think of it, Y/N couldn’t think of the most recent time that she had a sleepover with Max alone. They used to have them all of the time: giggling under the covers into the early hours of the morning, leaning on one another as they flipped through those comic books. Max’s loved copy of Wonder Woman, which used to rotate between her and Y/N’s houses, was now sitting on Lucas’ shelf. “We haven’t seen each other in forever. Especially not you, El!”

Y/N frowned. She saw El last week. She hadn’t spoken to her in two weeks. What happened to the whole, ‘I’m your best friend and you’re mine, Y/N/N!’ and the ‘I love you so much, and we’re best friends! I’d do anything for you, Y/N!’

“I’ve just been so busy, it’s crazy! I haven’t had any time with field hockey and band and everything like that.” Max laughed. Her face got all crinkled up, her freckles blending into one another as her blue eyes teared up with joy. It would have been gorgeous, had it not been a lie. Max used to frequently skip hockey practices to hang out, and since she hadn’t gotten team captain, her practices had decreased. Max used to see her whenever she could, but of course, now she’d spend her time with Lucas, or with El, or with anybody other than her. Max used to put her on a pedestal, but now, it looks like anybody who shows her any attention at all gets all of hers.

i could be your bitch and tell you a million reasons why being with me would be much better than with any other guy / i could tell you I’ll treat you right and never wrong / tell you in my arms is where you belong / but I know that you can’t change someone / so I’ll just leave you alone

The next Friday, Max was back in Y/N’s bed, flipping through a magazine while music played through the radio. Her beautiful red hair was falling into strands in front of her face, framing her gorgeous freckled pale skin, blue eyes piercing through the dimmed overhead lights. She looked like a goddess, her entire lanky body stretched out over the covers in a way that she could stare at for hours – watching the way that her face crinkled up when she read a funny entry, or seeing the way she nibbled on her bottom lip when she was interested.

“I don’t know what I should do for Lucas for our second anniversary.”

Y/N’s heart stopped. Of course she’d talk about Lucas. “Well, what does he like?”

“You know,” she smiled, folding her magazine and sitting up to look at the other girl. Y/N was walking out of the bathroom, tucking her hair behind her ear as she put Max’s next day outfit on the chair, folded neatly. “You know as much as I do about him. We both see him everyday.”

“Yeah, but you see him more than I do,” Y/N grimaced. “I don’t see him that much anymore, and I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“I feel like a shitty girlfriend.” Max avoided her statement. I haven’t seen you in forever – she’d even said it outright and then got ignored! You never talk to me anymore, and it’s always ‘Lucas this and Lucas that! I’m here, too!’

“You’re never a shitty girlfriend.”

“I turned him down to hang out tonight. The weekend of our anniversary, Y/N. You can’t even lie and tell me that’s a good look,” Max said, looking unbelieving. Her brows furrowed together. “I turn him down all of the time when I hang out with you and El. It makes me feel so terrible, especially because I see you so much.”

Y/N knew that she should shut up. She knew that she shouldn’t have said what she did, and she knew that there was absolutely no reason to do what she did. The words came out faster than she ever thought that they ever could, and she wanted nothing more than to crawl into a pit and die once the words left her lips. But,a part of her wanted to scream it from the rooftops, a part of her wanting to shout it again and again. It’d been bottled up for months and months, and it was twenty three months, three weeks, and five days after it had happened in the first place that she realized that it needed to be said sooner or later. “That’s a fucking lie, and we both know it. Don’t bullshit me, Max.”

“I’m not bullshitting you?” It was phrased like a question, and Max looked like she had just been accused of something much worse. “I see you all the time–”

“Yeah, see, that’s what the lie is,” Y/N chuckled, sitting down, putting the pile on her lap. The feeling of rejection that had been sitting in the pit of ehr stomach for nearly two years now was bubbling up and up, and the words were spilling out of her mouth before she could stop them. “He’s just a stupid boy! He’s not funny, he’s not smart, he’s not entertaining, and he’s not worth it! You’ve been blowing me off for months, Max, and I’m so sick and tired of pretending like I don’t notice everything!”

Y/N kept going.

“You ignore me again and again, and we both know that anybody would be so much better than Lucas of all people!”

“Like who?! Lucas is so much better–”

“Like me!” Max finally fell silent, the color draining from her face as she dropped her magazine on the bedspread. Her hands trembled, and her eyes glassed in only a few moments. The ugly monster that had been hiding under the bed, in the closet, and behind her in her own shadow had finally come out; shrouding the entire room in a thick and uncomfortable silence. Every word broke a deeper part of Y/N, and cracked a part of Max. She almost stopped, but at this rate, who knew when she would finally be left alone with her long enough to dare say them again? “Me, Max! You act so insightful, wise one, and then you fucking shit all over anything I say and do, and it hurts me every fucking day that I fall morw and more in love with you when all you do is ignore my fucking existence for some guy who doesn’t even know who Jane Austen is!” Her voice trembled with every word, and as the house fell quieter and quieter, the sheer stupidity of the whole idea grew and grew.

The room remained silent as Max gathered her things. She didn’t bother to take her new change of clothes, now on the floor. They would go in a shoebox in the closet, along with the pictures and notebooks and comics. She ignored the new friendship journal that was sitting on the vanity, untouched and unused by them. It never would be – it would be sold at a yardsale. Y/N met her eyes as Max picked up the Wonder Woman copy that was sitting on the bed, pleading her not to take it. Don’t take this, she begged, please don’t take this. Leave me this, please. Max picked it up, and put it in her bag.

That would be the Mayfield-Sinclair children’s first comic book – the one that would sit in their library until their perfect little house on the cul-de-sac sold.

and i know you don’t swing that way, but that won’t take my feelings away / oh i wish you liked girls; oh i wish you liked girls / girls like me

[raindancer2004]

A mate for Christmas? - Jane

Word Count: 1,901 Jane x Swan reader Oneshot Warnings: Fluff, Angst

Jane –

Demetri, Felix and the twins joined Aro and Marcus at the Cullen’s house for Christmas; Caius refusing to go as he knew the ‘Dog’ would be there. “Caius sends his apologies Carlisle, but he couldn’t join us for Christmas. He decided to stay back and keep things in order at the castle” “I understand Aro. We’re glad that you, Marcus and the guard would come” Carlisle replied.

Carlisle led them upstairs to where the rest of the family were waiting; including Y/N Swan, Bella’s sister.

Jane noticed her the moment he entered the room; Y/C hair, Y/C eyes and your scent hit her like no other had before ‘Blueberry and Vanilla’ She felt a pull towards her and a knowing smile from Marcus confirmed it; Y/N Swan was her mate.

The Cullens exchanged gifts and Y/N handed her a small gift neatly wrapped in blue wrapping paper with silver Stags “For you.” She took the gift and gave her a small smile; opening it revealed a quad of eyeshadows in various shades of blue and a second quad of eyeshadows in various shades of grey. “I know it’s not much, but I thought you may like them, especially as Alice mentioned you prefer darker colours to pastels” “Thank you Y/N” Jane thanked her and felt a warm feeling run through her although she was annoyed that fate had given her a human as a mate. She didn’t like humans.

Y/N tried talking to Jane, asking her about her life in Volterra, her gift, if she had a favourite time in history seeing as she had lived so long. Jane didn’t wish to talk to Y/N and she certainly didn’t want to get to know her. Y/N sensed Jane wasn’t in the mood for talking judging by the minimal / lack of responses she received and left the room.

Marcus was very disappointed in Jane and her behaviour and told her so once Y/N and Ness were out of earshot; he didn’t care who else heard him “You my dear are being rude and disrespectful to Y/N and I am extremely disappointed in you. She didn’t choose to be your mate any more than you chose to be hers. Fate made this decision long ago after you were turned. She was born to be with you and only you. She is the one to complete you and vice versa” Marcus paused to see if Jane would interject; she did nothing but look like a child being scolded so he continued “If you choose to walk away from her; from your bond, that is your decision and I will respect it but…know this you will have lost my respect. You are throwing something away; something that is precious and should be treasured because of your inability to let go of the past; a past Y/N had no part in. You are throwing away a bond that was taken from me many many centuries ago; a bond I would do anything to get back, to be given a second chance at a happy ending. I cannot and will not forgive you for this” Marcus left the room not caring that he left a room full of vampires staring open-mouthed at the dressing down the usually soft-spoken King had given Jane.

Jane didn’t change her mind. She decided she could live without Y/N in her life. She could live with being a disappointment to Marcus as long as she had Alec by her side and was still favoured by Aro. What more did she need?

Later that night Jane found Y/N in Edward’s old room; it had become a guest room now, something that amused Edward greatly. Jane knocked on the door and waited for Y/N to answer “Come in” Y/N’s soft voice called out and Jane entered the room “We need to talk” She said to Y/N getting straight to the point “Ok” Y/N replied as she sat on the bed and Jane did the same. “This isn’t going to work Y/N…the mate bond between us. It isn’t what I want. You are not what I want” “O-ok. So what happens now?” Y/N asked low, dread filling her as she knows she cannot remain human and know about their world. “Firstly, I want you to know that I won’t kill you, none of my family will. I trust you to keep our secret seeing as your sister is one of us” “Th-thank you Jane. I will take the secret to my grave. I promise” “Secondly, I am going to formally reject you and then we can move on with our lives as though this…little inconvenience never happened” Jane added turning to look at Y/N.

“I bet Y/N feels great being called an inconvenience” Felix said low “Imagine how she’ll feel in a few minutes once she’s been formally rejected” Demetri replied. Everyone could hear the conversation between Jane and Y/N due to their hearing and they all felt sorry for the human girl, including Alec.

“Look at me Y/N” Jane says coldly and Y/N lifts her head and meets Jane’s red eyes “I Jane Volturi do reject you Y/N Swan as my mate, from now until forever” Y/N felt something break inside her but didn’t tear her gaze away from Jane “You must now reject me in return for the bond to be severed completely” Y/N nodded and sat up a little straighter, taking a deep breath “I Y/N Swan do reject you Jane Volturi as my mate, from now until forever” Jane nodded and smiled at Y/N; happy she was no longer tied to the human girl.

Jasper felt everything during that conversation and his heart went out to Y/N “Hey you, do you want some company?” He asked softly entering the room “No, I would like to go home. Can you take please Jas?” “Of course I can, come on. Alice will bring your stuff by tomorrow” Jasper led her out of the house and over to his car. “I’m sorry you had to go through that” He said softly after a few moments “Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry you have to deal with my feelings, that can’t be very nice for you” Y/N replied softly “Don’t worry about me, I’ve felt much worse over the years.” Y/N nodded and they sat in silence for the remainder of the journey.

When the Volturi left on Boxing Day Jane left the gift behind that Y/N had given her and didn’t bother going to say goodbye. Demetri took it upon himself to reach out and find Y/N’s tenor; committing it to memory, just in case Jane changed her mind and wanted to him to track her mate down in the future.

Jane surprised everyone as it had been two months since she rejected her mate and she showed no signs of being heartbroken or depressed at being away from Y/N. Jane continued with her life at the castle and didn’t give Y/N a second thought, the same couldn’t be said for Alec however. He felt sorry for the human girl that his sister so cruelly rejected and wondered if she was doing as well as his sister.

Y/N wasn’t doing as well as Jane but did her best to hide it; it felt like something was missing, like she was incomplete. Although she had rejected Jane at her request Y/N didn’t mean it; she wanted to be with Jane and figured that may be the reason she feels this way and cannot move on like Jane had said. Y/N had stopped spending time with Bella and the Cullens as it was just too much of a reminder of what she will never have so she made the decision to move to Florida to live with her mom and Phil. “I need a fresh start Bells. I need to get away from here and we can stay in touch” Y/N hugged her sister and boarded her plane ready to start her life away from Forks, away from the vampire world.

“Demetri can you track Y/N for me?” Alec asked one night on the way back from a mission the two of them had gone on “I can but can I ask why you want me to?” Demetri replied “I’m just curious I guess…I want to know if she is taking the rejection as well as Jane” “Alec you know that I can only tell you where she is, I can’t tell you how she is” “I know that, but I can find out how she is if I know where she is” Alec said looking at the tracker “You plan on checking up on your sister’s rejected mate? Why?” “I don’t know Demetri, maybe because I’m struggling to understand how Marcus can be the way he is thousands of years after losing his wife and Jane seems totally unaffected after rejecting and being rejected by her mate” “I think you’ve already answered your own question Alec. However, I will tell you Y/N is in Jacksonville, Florida” Demetri replied “Thank you Demetri. Please do not tell Jane” “I don’t have a death wish so I won’t tell Jane you’ve gone to Florida if you don’t tell her I helped you track down Y/N” Demetri offered “Deal” Alec said as he shook Demetri’s hand.

Y/N had been in Jacksonville for a month and felt better than she had in a long time, moving here was definitely the right thing to do. Y/N had met a boy and they flirted with one another but it didn’t feel right to her; she kept thinking about Jane. ‘Why do I keep thinking about her, she didn’t want me. I wasn’t good enough for her, at least Matt likes me; talks to me’ she thought to herself and decided to let Jane go completely “I Y/N Swan do reject you Jane Volturi as my mate, from now until forever” She said aloud and she instantly felt like a weight had been lifted off her.

At that very moment in Volterra Jane felt something break inside of her and all of a sudden she felt lost; incomplete, like something was missing from her life and couldn’t understand why. She let out a gasp at the feeling. Marcus sat there on his throne giving her with a knowing look. Alec, Demetri and Felix were in the throne room on duty with her and upon hearing her gasp they turned to look at her “Sister what is the matter?” “It would appear Y/N has rejected Jane and now she is feeling the pain and the hurt she caused Y/N many months ago” Marcus answered with a smile “But master Y/N rejected Jane at Christmas” Alec said looking confused “Indeed she did, but only because Jane asked her to. Y/N didn’t mean it then, she didn’t want to reject Jane so Y/N’s side of the bond remained in place. Therefore, allowing Jane to carry on with her life without a care in the world” Alec nodded in understanding “However, it would seem that Y/N is finally ready to give up on Jane and their bond and has rejected her of her own free will. Thus, causing this reaction in Jane. Welcome to a forever of heartbreak and depression child. It really couldn’t have happened to a nicer person” Marcus said smiling at her, enjoying seeing her experience the consequences of her actions.

[madmensideblog]

MAD MEN BOOK RECS

Happy pride/Don Draper’s fake birthday ❤️ Below the cut, I’ve listed info on my favorite Mad Men related books and a couple I haven’t read yet but I’m really looking forward to. Let me know if you check any of these out, or if you have any other recommendations! ❤️

Mad Men Carousel: The Complete Critical Companion by Matt Zoller Seitz

“Mad Men Carousel is an episode-by-episode guide to all seven seasons of AMC's Mad Men. This book collects TV and movie critic Matt Zoller Seitz’s celebrated Mad Men recaps—as featured on New York magazine's Vulture blog—for the first time, including never-before-published essays on the show’s first three seasons. Seitz’s writing digs deep into the show’s themes, performances, and filmmaking, examining complex and sometimes confounding aspects of the series. The complete series—all seven seasons and ninety-two episodes—is covered.

Each episode review also includes brief explanations of locations, events, consumer products, and scientific advancements that are important to the characters, such as P.J. Clarke’s restaurant and the old Penn Station; the inventions of the birth control pill, the Xerox machine, and the Apollo Lunar Module; the release of the Beatles’ Revolver and the Beach Boys’ Pet Sounds; and all the wars, protests, assassinations, and murders that cast a bloody pall over a chaotic decade.

Mad Men Carousel is named after an iconic moment from the show’s first-season finale, “The Wheel,” wherein Don delivers an unforgettable pitch for a new slide projector that’s centered on the idea of nostalgia: “the pain from an old wound.” This book will soothe the most ardent Mad Men fan’s nostalgia for the show. New viewers, who will want to binge-watch their way through one of the most popular TV shows in recent memory, will discover a spoiler-friendly companion to one of the most multilayered and mercurial TV shows of all time.”

A classic episode-by-episode look at the series from reviewer Matt Zoller Seitz.

The Legacy of Mad Men — Cultural History, Intermediality and American Television (Edited by Karen McNally, Jane Marcellus, Teresa Forde, and Kirsty Fairclough)

“For seven seasons, viewers worldwide watched as ad man Don Draper moved from adultery to self-discovery, secretary Peggy Olson became a take-no-prisoners businesswoman, object-of-the-gaze Joan Holloway developed a feminist consciousness, executive Roger Sterling tripped on LSD, and smarmy Pete Campbell became a surprisingly nice guy. Mad Men defined a pivotal moment for television, earning an enduring place in the medium’s history.

This edited collection examines the enduringly popular television series as Mad Men still captivates audiences and scholars in its nuanced depiction of a complex decade. This is the first book to offer an analysis of Mad Men in its entirety, exploring the cyclical and episodic structure of the long form series and investigating issues of representation, power and social change. The collection establishes the show’s legacy in televisual terms, and brings it up to date through an examination of its cultural importance in the Trump era. Aimed at scholars and interested general readers, the book illustrates the ways in which Mad Men has become a cultural marker for reflecting upon contemporary television and politics.”

This is a really beautiful collection. It was published in 2019. It’s rather expensive. (I found a used copy for much cheaper.) If you can afford it, I really, really recommend buying it. There is a pdf floating around if you know where to look though. But like I said, it’s really amazing work and the women who curated it deserve high praise and compensation.

A few favorite essays of mine include “Don Draper and the Enduring Appeal of Antonioni’s La Notte” by Emily Hoffman, “Mad Men’s Mid-Century Modern Times” by Zak Roman, “Mad Men and the Staging of Literature via Ken Cosgrove and His Problems” by Aaron Shapiro, and “What Jungian Psychology Can Tell Us About Don Draper’s Unexpected Embrace of Leonard in Mad Men’s Finale” by Marisa Carroll.

Mad Men and Philosophy: Nothing Is as It Seems (Edited by William Irwin, James B. South, and Rod Carveth)

“With its swirling cigarette smoke, martini lunches, skinny ties, and tight pencil skirts, Mad Men is unquestionably one of the most stylish, sexy, and irresistible shows on television. But the series becomes even more absorbing once you dig deeper into its portrayal of the changing social and political mores of 1960s America and explore the philosophical complexities of its key characters and themes. From Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle to John Kenneth Galbraith, Milton Friedman, and Ayn Rand, Mad Men and Philosophy brings the thinking of some of history's most powerful minds to bear on the world of Don Draper and the Sterling Cooper ad agency. You'll gain insights into a host of compelling Mad Men questions and issues, including happiness, freedom, authenticity, feminism, Don Draper's identity, and more.”

This collection was published just a month before the start of season 4, so it only concerns the first three seasons of the show. As such, it includes some assumptions that are proven false and a few strange misreadings that I’m sure would’ve been cleared up had they had the rest of the show at their disposal. But there are some great philosophical insights and analysis.

I haven’t yet read the whole collection, but my favorite essay of what I’ve read so far was “Pete, Peggy, Don, and the Dialectic of Remembering and Forgetting” by John Fritz.

The Fashion File: Advice, Tips, and Inspiration from the Costume Designer of Mad Men (by costume designer Janie Bryant)

From Joanie's Marilyn Monroe-esque pencil skirts to Betty's classic Grace Kelly cupcake dresses, the clothes worn by the characters of the phenomenal Mad Men have captivated fans everywhere. Now, women are trading in their khakis for couture and their pumas for pumps. Finally, it's hip to dress well again. Emmy-Award winning costume designer Janie Bryant offers readers a peek into the dressing room of Mad Men, revealing the design process behind the various characters' looks and showing every woman how to find her own leading lady style--whether it's vintage, modern, or bohemian. Bryant's book will peek into the dressing room of Mad Men and reveal the design process behind the various characters' looks. But it will also help women learn how fashion can help convey their personality. She will help them cultivate their style, including all the details that make a big difference. Bryant offers advice to ensure that a woman's clothes convey her personality. She covers everything from where to find incredible vintage clothing and accessories to how to pair those authentic pieces with modern shoes and jeans. Readers will learn how to find their perfect bra size, use color to convey a mood, and invest in the ten essentials every woman should own. And just so the ladies don't leave their men behind, there's even a section on making them look a little more Don Draper-dashing.

I recently ordered a used copy of this book and haven’t yet received it, but I’m very much looking forward to it. Like Mad Men and Philosophy listed above, it was published between season 3 and 4, so unfortunately does not cover the whole show. It sounds like it might just cover the women’s costume design, though I’m not sure. Janie Bryant is such a meticulous, genius costume designer that I can’t wait to read it. Relatedly, you should follow her incredible costume design instagram where she posts lots of her work from Mad Men and other shows with fascinating insight into her process.

The Universe is Indifferent: Theology, Philosophy, and Mad Men (Edited by Ann W. Duncan and Jacob L. Goodson)

Centered on the lives of the employees at a Manhattan advertising firm, the television series Mad Men touches on the advertising world's unique interests in consumerist culture, materialistic desire, and the role of deception in Western capitalism. While this essay collection has a decidedly socio-historical focus, the authors use this as the starting point for philosophical, religious, and theological reflection, showing how Mad Men reveals deep truths concerning the social trends of the 1960s and deserves a significant amount of scholarly consideration. Going beyond mere reflection, the authors make deeper inquiries into what these trends say about American cultural habits, the business world within Western capitalism, and the rapid social changes that occurred during this period. From the staid and conventional early seasons to the war, assassinations, riots, and counterculture of later seasons, The Universe is Indifferent shows how social change underpins the interpersonal dramas of the characters in Mad Men.

I only just found out about this collection, but I’m very interested in finding a copy. This was published in 2016. You can see the table of contents here. EDIT: This book is available to read on Scribd. They offer a 30 day free trial.

[cowgurrrl]

It Will Come Back

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (except this is all backstory)

Author’s note: now we’re cooking with peanut oil 🤠

Summary: “I get mean when I’m nervous, like a bad dog.” Cop Car by Mitski [3.3k]

Warnings: survival stuff, parental anxiety, PTSD symptoms, Jane being the best, some smoochy smooch

More survivors filter in. Slowly, but they still show up— nobody you recognize or care about. You still haven't seen Matt, and you're quickly losing hope. Not that there was much to begin with. Time crawls on, and suddenly it's been weeks since that September night. Adam and Jane are inseparable most days. She wants to be next to him and hear what he has to say or teach her, and she laughs. Full-bellied, air-stealing, big laughs at his jokes or a funny face. Seeing her interacting with someone, especially a man, like that hurts something deep inside you. The whole time you think, she deserves a dad. She wants a dad. She's worthy of a dad, but her mom can't ever fucking pick 'em right. He's not her father, and there's nothing you can do to change that, but to her, he's a safe person to be around. That's enough for now. 

There have been murmurings of a wall going up around the Quarantine Zone— nobody in or out without clearance or a death wish. After that, FEDRA will clear the rest of the QZ and get whatever survivors are here into apartments. Maybe even give us jobs again. May is still hounding you about coming around and helping at what is now the makeshift hospital, where she spends her days tending to new survivors and stupid FEDRA soldiers who take bullets to the shoulder for not paying attention. You don't care. The entirety of your attention is on Jane.

Is she eating enough? Is she sleeping? Is she getting nightmares like you are? Does she see the blood staining your hands when she closes your eyes like you do? Seeing your mom kill four people in front of you can't be good for your mental health. How do you help her get through it? What can you do to ease this aching burden you handed her without a second thought because at least she was alive? Is she happy? Would she even tell you if she wasn't? Would she still let you see that part of her, or is she aware of just how fragile you are these days? You're still in survival mode. You're not sure when you'll get out of it, if you ever will.

One night, before the last dredges of summer heat can slip away, Jane sighs as she lies next to you, staring at the ceiling. You look down and push her hair out of her face so you can see her better through the darkness. She leans into your touch, snuggling closer and throwing an arm over your abdomen. 

"What's wrong, bug?" You ask quietly as you kiss her temple. 

"D'you remember when we used to sit outside and look at the sky before bed?" She asks like it was years ago instead of a few weeks. In a way, it feels like it. You take a deep breath and nod. 

"Yeah, I remember."

"I miss the moon," she mumbles. "Is it still there?"

"The moon?" You ask, and she hums. "Yeah, the moon is still up there. It'll always be in the sky."

"Do you think Daddy looked at the moon like we did?" She asks, and you freeze. She rarely brings him up, if at all. She doesn't know why he's not around but understands that most families have two parents. Still, you know she thinks about him, and you've told her it's okay if she does. You just didn't expect her to ask you that.

"I don't know," you admit. "What do you think?" She looks like she thinks for a moment before reaching out to play with the ends of your hair. 

"I think he did." She says, and you smile. She doesn't say anything else, falling asleep in your arms not even ten minutes later. You do your best to follow suit, closing your eyes and snuggling her to your chest, but your mind floods with memories of sitting on the balcony of your apartment with her, looking up at the night sky. 

It was her favorite thing to do. She would smile as you pointed out constellations and listened when you told her stories about the formations. You told her that the Big Dipper was the Little Dipper's mom, so they were never far apart. You told her that the Big Dipper loved the Little Dipper so much that they were put in the sky for everyone to see their love forever. You told her they were like you two. Before you finally fall asleep, you start coming up with a plan. 

Over the next week, you take notice of the patrol shifts. You figure out when and where they patrol and when they change shifts. For the most part, it's the same rotation every few days as a few FEDRA soldiers patrol the perimeter of the QZ. However, most of them are focused on where they're building the wall, protecting the workers, and making sure nothing gets in or out. You figure if you stay away from the building site, you're in the clear. When you're alone, you pull your bag from under your and Jane's bed to check your gun. The grip still has blood, but it's loaded, and you have extra ammo. You glance around before tucking the gun in your waistband, the weight of the metal a comfort against your skin. 

That night, you almost decide to change your whole plan. In the past few days, FEDRA has gotten especially jumpy, and in turn, they've gotten brutal. They've recently implemented a curfew, making everyone get off the streets and stay in their shelters from the hours of nine pm to six am. At first, the punishment for being caught outside after curfew was a slap on the wrist. Then, it became a fine that nobody paid because nobody had money anymore. Now, it's time, ranging from hours to days, spent in lockup. You've seen May helping a few people once they leave lockup, bruises and cuts littering their skin. As if fighting Infected wasn't threatening enough, now we're living under constant fear of getting the shit beaten out of us by FEDRA. 

Waters doesn't even look at you when he walks through the shelter. None of them look at any of us. Their eyes are hollowed by whatever they've done since the beginning of the end. You would feel bad if you didn't know he and other FEDRA soldiers lived the most lavishly out of any other survivor. Rumor has it they spent our food budget on ammunition, and rationing will start sooner rather than later. Empathy is hard to find on both sides these days. 

Still, you quietly slip your shoes on and rouse Jane awake. When she opens her eyes, she blinks at you several times like she can't comprehend that you're sitting up instead of lying next to her. "Wanna go see the moon?" You whisper, and a huge smile breaks out across her face. She sits up and puts her shoes and jacket on before tiptoeing out of the room behind you. The hallways are empty, so you sail through the old high school and to the double doors leading to the street without any issues. As you approach the door, you put a hand on Jane's shoulder, pull your gun from your waistband, and keep it low before opening the door to check that the streets are clear. Jane gets the silent message and stays back until you wave her on. She looks up the second there's no roof over her head and marvels at the vastness of the sky.

There aren't as many stars visible as usual, but you chalk that up to the new crazy amounts of pollution let off from the bombings and the building of the wall. Still, the moon is full, bright, and shining across Jane's smiling face. She's looking up, but you're looking at her, watching how she takes in the rare sight and lights up when she spots the Big Dipper. You want the joy in her eyes to stay there forever, but she quickly turns pensive as she looks at you, her eyes shifting nervously from you to the empty, dark street.

"Are we gonna get in trouble?" She asks, keeping her voice quiet so it doesn't echo across the buildings. You hide your gun away again and walk over to her, putting your hands on her arms.

"No, we're not gonna get in trouble. I know how to keep us safe, and we're not going far," you say and point to the fire escape ladder leading to the roof on the side of the high school. Still, you can feel Jane's anxiety as you hold her. You nudge her to make her look you in the eyes and smile when she does. "Do you trust me?" You ask. She thinks for a minute before nodding. "Then, let's go look at the stars."

She clings to your neck as you climb up the fire escape, not even looking down at the creaky metal under your shoes. You shush her gently and rub her back as you get higher and higher, assuring her that she's safe and you would never let anything happen to her. When you finally get up to the roof, you can see more of the night sky and even what's left of the city around you. Much of it is rubble or half-toppled over buildings, but there's still a lot left in the heart of the QZ. You wonder if that was on purpose. Jane gasping stops you from unraveling that thought anymore, and you quickly look down to see her wide-eyed and pointing at something on the horizon.

"Mommy, look," Jane breathes quietly, afraid it'll disappear if she speaks too loudly. It takes your eyes a second to adjust, but when they do, you can't help but smile at how the little flashes of light flit around. "Fireflies," she says. "Did you know fireflies light up like that so they can talk to their other firefly friends?"

"I didn't know that." You say, amazed at her intelligence, but she just giggles at the thought of knowing something you didn't. You guys lie on the roof together and gaze up at the moon. It looks bigger and brighter than you remembered. Maybe you've fully lost your mind and forgotten what the moon looked like. Either way, you're happy just to lie next to Jane and look at it with an appreciation you certainly didn't have before Cordeceyps took over your life. 

The night is cool and still a product of the transition between seasons. It always fascinated you how the world seemed to pause and take a breath before switching from summer to autumn. The cicadas are still out in full force, and you can hear them from wherever they took shelter after the bombings. A bird flaps its wings overhead and lets out a desperate call, practically begging for another bird to return its song. Distantly, you can smell cement being poured in an effort to keep you safe. You think you can smell the blood on the gun digging into your side too. The blood you spilled in an effort to keep her safe. How much farther will we each go to keep up the fantasy of safety? 

You're not sure how long you're out there, under the stars, with her, but you know your eyes get heavy, and your body relaxes for the first time in weeks. Jane rolls over to be closer to you, her fingers intertwining with yours, and you turn to look at her. She takes a deep breath and stares at you, the gears in her mind working overtime as she thinks. You wish you could peek inside her brain to understand how it all works, how she is as amazing as she is, but you can't. So, you wait her out. After a minute of just staring at each other, she squeezes your hand and smiles.

"I love you, Mommy." She says. Your breath catches in your throat, and for a second, you think you'll choke on your emotions. You lean down and kiss her forehead, squeezing her back.

"I love you, too, Janey." You say, but before the words can even leave your mouth, you hear the unmistakable sound of metal scraping metal. Someone is coming up the fire escape. You sit up and shield Jane's body with your own as you pull the gun from your waistband. You flip the safety and aim the barrel toward the noise. Your heart thrums in your face, and your ears ring as the scraping sound gets closer and closer. Jane whimpers behind you, and you reach back to touch her shoulder but stay laser-focused on the person coming for you. When the person comes over the ledge, your finger twitches to hit the trigger, but you stutter as you make out familiar features. His flashlight also helped protect him from catching a bullet.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Waters asks as he lowers his own gun that was pointed in your direction. You're not as quick to waver. "Lower your weapon," he says like it's a nuisance even to have to voice. "Don't be stupid about this, sweetheart." There's enough of an edge to his voice for you to comply, and he watches you as you put the gun on the ground and raise your hands. 

"What are you doing here?" 

"I could ask you the same thing. I got a call about some movement on this side of the QZ and was sent to check it out," he says. "You're lucky it was me. Anyone else would've shot on sight."

"Oh, so I should be thanking you?" You ask. Jane clings to your legs and shyly buries her head in your thigh, and you sigh as Waters glances between her hands and your eyes. "She wanted to see the stars." You answer his unspoken question and his Adam's apple bobs. 

"I should put you in lockup for breaking curfew. Not to mention you're armed." He says. It's more of a statement than a threat. He doesn't seem like he likes the thought of separating you two, even though he was more than keen on it when you first got here.

"So, do it," you say. "Do whatever you have to do, but you're not gonna touch her." He takes a deep breath as his radio crackles with someone asking for a report about your movement. He meets your eyes and holds your gaze while pressing the talk button.

"Nothing here. Must've been a cat or something. Circling back now. Waters out," he says, and you let out a shaky breath. He nods almost imperceptibly at you, and you nod back— a silent agreement. "Let's go." He says once the moment has passed. You grab your gun but show him how you release the magazine and pull the slide to spit out the bullet left in the chamber. He doesn't try to take the firearm from you. In fact, he turns his head when he sees you tucking it in your waistband again. Jane all but jumps in your arms, and the three of you silently climb down the fire escape. When you get to the bottom, you tell Jane to go inside and lie down. 

"I'll meet you in a second, okay? Adam is there if you need anything before I get back." 

"But, Mommy," she whines, and you shake your head.

"No but's. I need to talk to Mr. Waters. I'll be there in a second. I promise," you say, and she huffs but complies, disappearing behind the high school doors. Through the cracked glass, you can watch her walk down the hallway until she turns into the classroom/bedroom where you've been sleeping for the past few months. Once you know she's safe, you turn back to Waters. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"The world ended. I can't be a little nice sometimes?"

"Not when you wear that uniform," you say, and he chuckles. "If you're expecting something in return-"

"I'm not." He says, and you throw your arms up in defeat.

"Then, what? You had no problem throwing someone from our shelter in lockup for breaking curfew. Why is it different for me?"

"Do you want me to put you in lockup?" 

"Obviously not."

"Then, let it go." He says, and you roll your eyes before walking away from him and up the stairs. 

"Goodnight, Waters."  

"Owen," he calls, and you turn around to look at him. "My name is Sergeant Owen Waters." 

"Well, then, goodnight Sergeant." You say. With that, you slip back into the school and down the hallway, leaving him in the street. You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose, fighting an impending headache as your adrenaline finally starts to leave your body. You almost scream when you collide with another body in the hallway, your nails digging into the person's arms as they reach for you. 

"What happened?" Adam's voice pulls you from your shock, and you sigh as you push away from him.

"Why are you even awake?"

"Did you get caught out past curfew?" 

"It's none of your business."

"It is when Jane tells me about it." He says, and you scoff. It could be the leftover anger from your interaction with Waters or your frustration with this entire situation, but you can't hide it anymore. 

"You know, I got along just fine on my own for years. So, I don't need you to play Dad to my daughter just because the world ended, alright?" You spit, trying to push past him to crawl into bed with Jane, but he grabs your arm. Your nails dig into his skin until he lets go of you with a short cry, and you grip his wrist tightly as you back him into a wall. It would only take one quick turn for you to break it. "What the fuck is your problem?"

"Just because you don't want to see it doesn't mean people don't care about you and Jane," he says. "You didn't want help from anyone even before all this shit happened. You don't know how to handle it when someone cares about you, so you just push them away."

"What? You want to be the one to take care of us?"

"What if I did?" 

"Give me a fucking break, Adam."

"I'm serious," he pushes. You let your guard down enough for him to slip his wrist out of your grasp, but he doesn't make any other move to get away from you despite the fire seething in your veins. You're suddenly all too aware of how close you two are. You can make out the freckles littering his cheeks and the scar on his upper lip he told you about on your date a few months ago. You can't remember the last time you were physically this close to anyone else, let alone a man. "Something awful happened, and a lot of people died, and we did a lot of horrible things to stay alive. I know you get nightmares from it because I do, too," he says, and you clench your jaw. "But we survived. We survived and ended up in the same spot, and I care about you and Jane. I did long before any of this. Shouldn't that count for something?" He asks. Your mind is swimming, and you shake your head. His heart beats against yours, and you're close enough to smell the cigarette he smoked before bed. It's annoying how fast you lose track of the conversation when he's looking at you like this.

"If you ever grab me like that again, I will snap your neck. Do you understand me?" You ask, and he swallows hard.

"Yes."

You have no idea who moved or blinked first, but you know you were kissing him against the wall of an old high school before you could even realize it was happening. He tasted like cigarettes and mint and something familiar. 

And Jesus fucking Christ, if you didn't crave something familiar like that.

[foreverlostinliterature]

8/4 Book Deals

Hello and good morning, everyone! I hope you’re all having a wonderful week-we’re halfway through! First, apologies for the lack of posting in general over the past week, things got really busy and I’m trying out a new freelance situation for part-time work until I can find a better full-time job, so that took a little bit of adjusting to get used to a new schedule. But regardless, how are you all doing!? Hanging in there? Things have just been so crazy again lately where I am, and I really just want everyone to be safe and healthy, so I hope you all have been able to be okay and healthy and doing well for whatever situation you’re in. :)

Now, on to the books! Today there were a bunch of deals for some middle grade/YA and biographical type works (both historical and modern), so there’s definitely a little bit of variety in there. There’s The Book Thief, Holes, some Anthony Bourdain, and even a writing book from Kurt Vonnegut. Be sure to have a look if you are in need of some new reading material. :) 

Anyway, I hope you all have a fantastic day--stay safe, and happy reading!

Today’s Deals:

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak - https://amzn.to/37hk7Tq

Holes by Louis Sachar - https://amzn.to/3CdOicv

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs - https://amzn.to/2TTR5Gl

Gathering Blue (The Giver #2) by Lois Lowry - https://amzn.to/37hvwCz

The River by Gary Paulsen - https://amzn.to/2Vp6rTH

Barracoon: The Story of the Last "Black Cargo" by Zora Neale Hurston - https://amzn.to/3A9DMkx

A Song Below Water by Bethany C. Morrow - https://amzn.to/37jGGa5

Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians by Brandon Sanderson - https://amzn.to/3yptJrf

Curse of the Night Witch by Alex Aster - https://amzn.to/3rT4NFU

Victories Greater than Death by Charlie Jane Anders - https://amzn.to/3rQS078

Napoleon: A Life by Andrew Roberts - https://amzn.to/3yrkTsO

Nowhere Girl: A Memoir of a Fugitive Childhood by Cheryl Diamond - https://amzn.to/3ypjFyq

The Sound of Gravel by Ruth Wariner - https://amzn.to/3rUStFl

Everybody Behaves Badly: The True Story Behind Hemingway's Masterpiece The Sun Also Rises by Lesley M. M. Blume - https://amzn.to/3jjExRu

Punch Me Up to the Gods by Brian Broome - https://amzn.to/2VtDSoi

No Time Like the Future by Michael J. Fox - https://amzn.to/2VyN0rq

Sandworm: A New Era of Cyberwar and the Hunt for the Kremlin's Most Dangerous Hackers by Andy Greenberg - https://amzn.to/3yokJ5v

A Most Remarkable Creature: The Hidden Life and Epic Journey of the World's Smartest Birds of Prey by Jonathan Melburg - https://amzn.to/3imOX3m

The Six Wives of Henry VII by Alison Weir - https://amzn.to/3CeViWm

Medium Raw by Anthony Bourdain - https://amzn.to/3lAWygV

Pity the Reader: On Writing with Style by Kurt Vonnegut - https://amzn.to/3A6QiRS

Second Nature: A Gardener's Education by Michael Pollan - https://amzn.to/3A9QRum

The Three Mothers: How the Mothers of Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, and James Baldwin Shaped a Nation by Anna Malaika Tubbs - https://amzn.to/3fveS72

The Nasty Bits by Anthony Bourdain - https://amzn.to/3rSXxKk

The Private Lives of the Tudors by Tracy Borman - https://amzn.to/3CfJsLO

Haben: The Deafblind Woman Who Conquered Harvard Law by Haben Girma - https://amzn.to/3CprZAP

Somebody to Love: The Life, Death, and Legacy of Freddie Mercury by Matt Richards & Mark Langthorne - https://amzn.to/3A4sa2e

Before Her (The One) by Jacqueline Woodson - https://amzn.to/3il2jgA

Lila (The One) by Naima Coster - https://amzn.to/2VpHhVp

Edison by Edmund Morris - https://amzn.to/3AaCeXz

Over the Top by Jonathan Van Ness - https://amzn.to/3fvlz9h

NOTE:  I am categorizing these book deals posts under the tag #bookdeals, so if you don’t want to see them then just block that tag and you should be good. I am an Amazon affiliate in addition to a Book Depository affiliate and will receive a small (but very much needed!)  commission on any purchase made through these links.

[motherjoel]

Leading Lady (Spencer Reid x Reader)

chapter one- movie pirate

wc: 1.2k

summary: you’re a struggling actor in New York at risk of being the next victim in a string of local murders

a/n: this is a story thats on my AO3 that I decided to post on tumblr as well! i hope you guys like it

chapter index: chapter 2

“Deep breaths, Y/N. Once you’re up there, it’ll be a piece of cake! You just, yaknow, have to get up there,” you say to yourself, in hopes of convincing yourself to calm down. Being on stage was your favorite place to be, but for some reason it took all of your strength to actually walk onto the stage, even though it was just a rehearsal. Your passion outweighed the stage fright though, and as you heard your cue you got into character and made your way onto the stage. 

-

“It is the future that they bring when tomorrow comes… Tomorrow comes!” you sang, tears threatening to roll down your face. It was still only rehearsal but for some reason the last words of Les Mis brought you to tears every time. You finally landed your dream role of Eponine, although it was just a local community theater, the cast was very talented and you were honored to stand with them.

“Great rehearsal everyone. I know it's been a long day so I wont keep you. Go home, rest your voices, stay hydrated and be ready for tech rehearsal next week!” your director said. The rest of the cast had rushed off the stage, running off to their night shifts and chicken flavored ramen. Most of the cast were young and struggling to make it in show biz, much like you, who had yet to move from your position on the stage, still soaking in the moment. You snapped out of it, though- you had an early shift the next day and needed your sleep. Jumping off the stage, you gathered your things from a chair in the audience and headed out of the theatre. 

Your walk home was fairly short. Living in New York had its perks, especially the walkability. Never mind the polluted air and real estate prices- you just felt like you belonged here in Manhattan. You normally felt safe walking home at night, with the streets usually occupied, but you couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching you. Picking up your pace, you made it to your apartment building and ran up the 5 stories.

“Yo, how was your rehearsal?” asked your next door neighbor and friend Brooke as you unlocked your door. She, like you, was a struggling artist- Brooke was always working on a novel, hoping to be the next big author. 

“It was fine. I'm starved, though. Wanna order a pizza?” you asked, hoping she'd come inside with you to hang out. You were still unsettled from earlier, couldn't shake the feeling of being watched and you didn't want to be alone.

“At 10:30 PM?” she questioned, to which you nodded. “Ugh I wish I could hang, I have to get to bed. I’m flying home tomorrow morning and I gotta leave the house at like 4 AM. Why don’t you ask Maaaaaatt to hang out…?” she suggested, drawing out the “a” in matt to tease you. Matt played Marius in your show and the two of you have a bit of a “showmance” going on. It wasn’t really a love connection but at least he was someone to pass the time. 

“Eh, maybe. It is actually kinda late and I gotta be at the store pretty early tomorrow. Have fun on your flight!” you said, stepping inside your apartment. Shutting and locking the door, you threw your keys and bag onto the couch and strode into the kitchen. Your apartment was very small- barely enough room for 2 people. You had moved in with your now ex-boyfriend, Logan, a few months ago. He has since moved out and for some reason, the small apartment always felt empty. 

Changing into your PJs and forgoing a shower, you climbed into bed and tried to fall asleep as soon as possible. You had to work at 8 and needed sleep. You drifted off with thoughts of France in 1815, not noticing the shadows on the fire escape outside your bedroom window.

-

BEEP BEEP BEEP

“Ughhhhh,” you sighed, not a morning person. It was 7:15 but it felt like the middle of the night. Rolling out of bed, you put on a denim skirt with tights, a black turtleneck and a pair of mary jane doc martens. This was your usual style, a staple piece being a turtleneck, sometimes you experimented with a colorful sweater but it was nice to have a style that was easy to throw on every morning. You heated up a frozen breakfast burrito while you put on some makeup, planning on grabbing some coffee at work. As you walked to grab your purse from your bed, you noticed the window in your room was slightly ajar. Weird for the middle of October, but you had work in 20 minutes and didn’t have time to dwell. You shut and locked the window, hurrying out the front door.

-

It was a short walk to your workplace- a quaint little bookstore/coffee shop store that you had loved ever since you walked in a few short months ago. After becoming a regular, you had noticed a “help wanted” sign in the window and jumped at the perfect opportunity to work your dream job. It was pretty chill and you got free coffee every shift which was a definite bonus. Today, however, was the opposite of chill. You knew this to be true when two serious looking men walked in with purpose- not the meandering behavior of your usual customers. You were behind the counter, just having finished ringing someone up, when the two walked over to you.

“Y/N Y/L/N?” the muscular one asked. You were shocked, to say the least, and you guessed it was pretty evident on your face when the man introduced himself.

“I’m agent Morgan, this is Dr. Reid, we’re with the FBI,” he said, flashing you a badge. “Could we speak with you?” 

You were caught off guard, once again. “FBI? The worst thing I’ve ever done is go on 123movies to watch High School Musical!” you said, noticing a smirk on the muscular one's face- the skinnier one in the sweater looked puzzled by you. 

“No miss, we’re not here about that,” he chuckled. 

“We’re here because we believe you could be the next victim in a string of murders,” said the sweatered one, quite bluntly. The man you now knew as Agent Morgan nudged him and he put his head down, blushing. Your mouth was agape.

“Sorry for my partner here, he isn’t the best with bedside manners. But, it's true. It’s possible that you’re in a lot of danger. Would you come with us?” he asked. You checked your watch, seeing that your shift was due to end in 10 minutes anyway. 

“Sure, I guess. Lemme just grab my things from the back,” you told them. As you headed to the back you heard the two bickering, but you were too in shock from the news you just received to listen in. After gathering your purse and jacket, you were led out the door by the two men and into a large black SUV.

[pastafossa]

So on veggie roast turkey day, I say thanks to you, readers. Yes, I’m pointing at you - the follower reading my blog, the mutual, the quiet lurker, the person who’s never commented because of anxiety but is following and hit that kudos button, the person who’s always there to howl in my inbox, the art maker, the song rec’er.

You’re who I came back for when I started writing TRT again in Jan 2021, even if a lot of the story was just something I wanted to write. You’re the ones who have kept me, the extrovert with health issues, fed and charged during the pandemic when I couldn’t go out to talk to other people. You stuck with me during moving to another state, through reno disasters and passed away pets. You were always there in my inbox and comments and messages, even once there were too many for me to answer them all. You kept me going. I’m a little plant like that as an extrovert creator - I need to be watered and put in sunshine, or else my creative flowers wilt. And you watered me. Every interaction was a drop, a happy little misty spray over my leaves, and holy shit did it help me grow and flower and bloom happily on the AO3 windowsill of our fandom.

Because of your encouragement, in the last year, Nov 24, 2021 - Nov 24, 2022, TRT alone grew by a massive 276,648 words, or 52 chapters. TRT is now in the top 40 Daredevil fics overall on AO3.

That’s not just me who made that. This huge, massive flower that’s grown from Jane and Matt, from Daredevil and threads and Ciro and Nelson and Murdock and penguin pebbles, is also part you. And I love you for that. I love you for loving this story with me, for loving these characters, for loving the symbolism and the deeper meanings, for loving these dissections of Matt and Co, and I’ve said for a while that TRT is my love letter to Daredevil, but I think in some ways it’s a love letter to the fandom, too - to all of us who adore Matt and his friends, who want to get to know this world of his a little better, who want to support Matt and Foggy and Karen, who want to dive deep and maybe, just maybe, see Matt be happy for once. Which is great, cause I want that, too.

I love ya’ll, basically. And I’m so, so thankful for each and every one of you.

[wrenhyperfixates]

Of All the Places

Chapter 9

Pairing: Loki x reader Series Summary: Washing up in a small town in Oklahoma was definitely not part of Loki’s plan when he came to conquer Midgard. There is one good thing about it, though: No one recognizes him as the one who just wreaked havoc in New York. So, Loki plans to recover from the battle and move on with his life. The only problem? He’s not sure he can leave you. Chapter Summary: A morning with you and a talk with John make it clear to Loki what he has to do. And, perhaps letting the right people in on his secret wouldn’t be so bad, after all. Chapter Warnings: some very fluffy bits and tons of pining A/N: From here on out, it’s going to get pretty plot heavy, so be prepared. Feel free to let me know what you think :) Updates every Friday.

Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant​ @lunarmoon8​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​ @marvelousdaydreams​ @parkastoria​ @lokistan​

✥ Start at Beginning ✥ | ← Previous Chapter | Next Chapter →

Disclaimer: Gif not mine 

Loki regained control of consciousness slowly, each sense returning to him one at a time. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept so soundly without having been injured. The last thing to register in his brain was your weight on his chest. You were on top of him even more than you had been last night, but he did not mind in the slightest. Instead, he smiled softly at your sleeping form, listening to the sound of your deep breathing. His eyes fell to your lips, parted ever so slightly, and he was overcome with desire to kiss you awake. He shook his head a little at the ridiculous idea.

He intended to sneak away and leave you to rest, but you foiled his plans by snuggling closer to him in your sleep, pinning him where he was. Looking down at your peaceful form, he caught a whiff your scent. It made him feel safe, a sensation he’d not been familiar with in a long time.

“Loki,” you whispered in your sleep.

“Yes?” he prompted, his heart beating a wild rhythm.

“Cold.”

“Ah, I see.”

It was silly to be disappointed. He shouldn’t have expected much else, after all, but it was not so uncommon for someone to make a confession in their sleep. He pulled the blankets tighter around you. For good measure, he said an enchantment to warm you up and ward off the cold radiating from his body. You released a sigh of joy and cuddled closer still.

Loki supposed he could go back to sleep, he very much would have liked to in fact, but now that he was up, his mind was racing. Now that he was sure of what he wanted, he’d need a plan to get it. To get you. The only problem existed in the form of his incompetence toward mortal courting procedures. He was vaguely aware that it was usually referred to as dating nowadays, but that didn’t exist on Asgard, so the word held very little meaning to him. A twinge of sadness shot through his heart as he realized Thor would probably know, considering his infatuation with that mortal woman, Jane Foster. Someone that he had been kept away from because of Loki. Now that he had you, his own mortal to love and cherish, he felt it an indescribable evil that he’d done such a thing.

“G’morning,” you mumbled in a groggy voice, too recently out of sleep to be embarrassed by your position just yet. You looked up at Loki and rubbed your eyes. “How’d you sleep?”

“Better than I have in a long, long time.”

“Yeah, hard work will do that to a person.”

“Perhaps,” he said, trailing one hand gently down your arm as the other came to rest on the small of your back. “Or perhaps it was something else.”

“Oh! Well, um, you know,” you fumbled for a coherent sentence, his words suddenly brining you to your senses. “It was probably the work thing. Building a barn, all that dancing. It takes a lot of a guy.”

You nervously laughed and made like you were going to roll off of him, but his arm didn’t budge, holding you in place.

“Well, for whatever reason, I am still rather tired. I would not mind a lazy morning.”

His beautiful grin convinced you to stay, and he couldn’t resist humming a little Asgardian tune as you absentmindedly played with his hair. It was a song Frigga had sung to him when he was just a child, before the malice had rooted itself in his heart. It always reminded him of a simpler, more innocent time. Here, with you, he felt that same feeling he did then.

“That’s really pretty,” you said once he was finished. “What song is it?”

“Something from deep in my memory. I am afraid that is all I can say.”

“Oh, well that’s good that things are coming to you in bits and pieces. Your brother, that book, this song—you’ll remember everything before you know it.”

“And yet, nothing could compare to this.”

“Yeah, this town is pretty charming.”

“I suppose you do not remember the last conversation we had about this,” he tsked. “It is not the town that I am referring to.”

Your eyes went wide as you looked at him. No matter how many times he said something like that, you wouldn’t get over it. Often, he couldn’t believe he said them, either, for a whole slew of reasons. For one, falling in love with a mortal was the last thing he’d ever imagined for his life. Though, now that he knew more about humans, he found it far more believable. And for another, he just didn’t have all that much confidence that anyone could love him like that. Why say such things if the feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated? That was the thing, though. With you, he dared hope they might be.

You opened your mouth to say something, but were cut off by the creaking of the barn doors. A loud meow came from Taffy as she made her way up to where you were, but you knew the cat wouldn’t have been able to open the doors. You and Loki looked at each for a brief second, both mortified and nervous to be found in such an intimate, vulnerable way. As a voice sounded from down below, you hastily broke apart, and Loki immediately missed your warmth.

“Are you out here?” Mama shouted, calling your name.

“Up here,” you said, leaning over the edge. “Loki’s here, too, in case you were worried.”

“Well, of course I was worried, but not ’bout him. Do you know how close I came to a heart attack when you weren’t in your bed this morning?”

“You are aware I’m not five anymore, right Mama?”

“Yeah, well, with your judgement,” she said, eyeing up Loki as he appeared beside you, “you sure seem like you are sometimes. Now hurry along before you miss breakfast.”

Well, the truce was nice while it lasted, but Loki guessed that whatever points he’d won with her from saving Matt were canceled out by his evening with you. Apparently she wasn’t too keen on the idea of you two cozying up with each other. Not that he meant that in a weird way or anything, but last night had been pretty intimate. And that wasn’t even mentioning this morning.

Shooting Loki an apologetic smile for Mama’s comment, you scurried down the ladder as not to upset the woman more. The raven haired god sighed and followed you, casting one last longing glance at the pile of blankets and pillows where you were snuggled together just moments ago.

“Listen here, boy,” Mama menaced in a low tone, putting up a hand to stop him. She checked over her shoulder to make sure you were already out of the barn before continuing. “I won’t be losing another one of my babies to an untrustworthy stranger.”

“I believe I already told you, I would never hurt them, never hurt any of you,” he almost pleaded. “That is not my intention.”

“Just because you don’t mean to hurt someone, doesn’t mean you won’t.”

She stalked out before Loki could get another word in, not that he really knew what to say. She was right, after all, especially when it came to him. How many people, how many families, had he destroyed in his path of life? He’d certainly ruined his own.

The God of Mischief sat down on a hay bale, burying his head in his hands. He felt distraught beyond words, torn between his head and his heart. His mind was screaming to let you be, but his heart—oh, his poor crippled heart!—was begging to never be away from you. And, in the end, wouldn’t leaving lead to pain for you, too? Whether you loved him back or not, he knew you cared in some way.

“Loki, you alright out here?” John called from the barn doors. “Mama said you were coming along, but you-know-who was starting to panic that you’d fainted or something.”

The trickster god smiled at your concern for his well being. It only strengthened his conviction that you wouldn’t totally scorn him if he were to tell you how he truly feels. Still, the thought of actually doing that was so daunting that he hid his face again.

“I am fine,” he said, taking in a deep breath. “Just fine, thank you.”

“You’re not,” John replied as he sat next to Loki. “We’re friends, right man? You can talk to me, too, you know.”

“It would be quite a lot to unpack, I am afraid,” he admitted with a wry laugh.

“I’ve got time.”

“I...” he began, unsure of how much he could say without revealing the truth. “The whole time I have been here, I have felt that I should leave. But now I do not know how I could do that without hurting those I care about. I also cannot fathom staying here forever without telling my true feelings to...” he trailed off, not quite ready to admit it out loud just yet, but when John said your name, Loki confirmed it with a nod. “For the first time in a while, I do not know what my next move should be.”

“Well, for starters, be completely honest with me, God of Mischief and Lies.”

“Pardon?” Loki deadpanned, his mouth dry.

“I know, Loki. But before you run off, I haven’t told anyone.”

“When? Why?” Loki questioned, at a loss for words.

“Remember when I went into the city the other day to get supplies after the tornado?” Loki nodded. He would have gone, too, but there was still too much damage around the farm from the twister for both of them to take off. “I found out then. Some small newspaper ran a story on it, and I put the pieces together.”

“And as for the why?”

“Because you’d literally just saved my son not forty-eight hours before. You didn’t have to do that, but you did. So I don’t care what they say, I don’t think you’re all that bad. Or bad at all, really. Don’t worry, you’re secret’s safe with me.”

Loki nodded slowly, comprehending the information he’d just been given. John really was a friend to Loki, but he was something more, too. He was almost what a brother should be, in Loki’s mind at least. He was like how Thor used to be when they were children. There was one time, before he’d received any kind of training, when Loki’s spell had backfired on him. It had hurt, both emotionally and physically, but he was too fearful of being reprimanded to tell his parents. Thor had sat with him then, much like John was doing now.

“I cannot even begin to thank you,” he finally said. “And I truly promise that I will do everything in my power to protect this family, not hurt it.”

“I believe you, but you have to promise one thing.”

“And that would be?”

“Tell them how you truly feel.”

It was a fairly reasonable request, all things considered. And John had insisted multiple times that you felt the same way about him. So perhaps this story wouldn’t have such a tragic finish after all. Then again, did villains get happy endings? Or maybe Loki wasn’t the villain. It’d been a bit since he hadn’t thought himself one, but in light of everything that had happened over the last month or so, he was starting to see things in a more favorable way.

“Alright,” he agreed. “I will do it, but you must give me time to plan.”

“Deal. And I hope you know, you’re going to have to tell them the truth sooner rather than later. About all this.”

“I do know. And it will be sooner. The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt them.”

“It’s like I said before, Loki, I believe you.”

After thanking him again, they headed to the house, those three words ringing in Loki’s ears. I believe you. It had been a long time since anyone had believed Loki. Maybe he could believe John and accept that you liked him too. Maybe. But he wouldn’t have to guess for long; he knew he’d be finding out very, very soon.

[sunriserose1023]

Cracks in the Foundation

WARNINGS: Angst, painful remembering, illness, brief mentions of blood WORD COUNT: 4795 AUTHOR’S NOTE: You know how a piece of fabric can get frayed at the edges, and pulling on the strings can end up making the whole thing unravel? The reader’s starting to notice the frayed edges. Will she start pulling on the strings? 

MASTERLIST

You sat at a table in the corner in a little cafe, iced Frappuccino melting as it sat forgotten beside you. You stared out the window, not even bothering to try and pretend you weren’t anymore. 

You’d convinced Betty that you needed to do a little shopping, and she needed to catch up with a friend from college. She reluctantly agreed, giving you the chance to waste your afternoon in a coffee shop waiting on someone you weren’t even sure was real. 

You put your head in your hands, closing your eyes as you took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The bell above the door jingled and you lifted your head to see a slender woman with short, dark hair approach the counter. You watched her as she grabbed a latte, keeping your eyes trained on her as she walked over, taking a seat in the chair across from you. 

“Miss Ross.”

You slowly nodded, glancing down at the table before you spoke. 

“Pardon me but, um … what the fuck?”

Hope’s eyes widened before her lips curved into a smile. You shook your head. 

“You do know I was just in a year-long coma, right? So I’m not exactly sure I can trust my brain. Especially when I’m talking to someone and then they just disappear into thin air!” “I didn’t disappear. I’m just … sneaky.”

You let out an exasperated sigh and Hope took a sip of her drink. 

“Look, I didn’t mean to make you worry or anything. I just couldn’t deal with your father.” “Yeah, join the club.”

Hope gave a laugh. 

“Honey, I’ve got daddy issues of my own.” “Maybe so, but you didn’t have to grow up with Thunderbolt Ross.”

Hope nodded. 

“Hank Pym was a winner in his own right.”

She stared at the lid on her coffee, then lifted her blue eyes to you. 

“I wasn’t trying to come off as mysterious and scary as I did last night. I’m sorry I frightened you. And made you question your own mind.”

You nodded, taking hold of your cup and swirling your straw around. You picked up a napkin and ran it through the condensation that had gathered on the table. You shook your head, giving a sigh. 

“It’s just … it’s like I’m living someone else’s life. I feel like I should be barely legal and finishing college, only to find that I’m nearly thirty. I had a business of my own, but …”

You shook your head again, lifting your eyes to the woman across from you when Hope spoke softly. 

“It must be jarring, to believe one thing is true, only to find it’s the furthest thing from the truth.”

You nodded, realizing you’d kept hold of the napkin and shredded it into tiny pieces in your lap. You swallowed, then took a sip of your drink. 

“What did … what did you mean last night?”

Hope looked to you, eyes narrowing. You nodded, continuing with your thought. 

“When you said I wasn’t the only one who had lost something?”

Hope nodded, looking down at her coffee cup. 

“You’re running the General’s campaign, right?” “I wouldn’t say I’m running it. I’m just … tagging along.” “Planning the events?”

You nodded, then gave a quiet laugh. 

“Can you not change the subject?” “I was just—“ “No, seriously. Everyone I know has been treating me with kid gloves ever since I woke up, and I’m so sick of it.” “So … you’re saying the General thinks he knows what’s best for you? The General and your sister?”

You started to shake your head, going still as Hope’s eyes met yours. You swallowed, licking suddenly dry lips. 

“What … what do you …”

You looked down at the table, and Hope leaned in closer. 

“You know something’s not right, don’t you?”

You closed your eyes, slowly nodding. You lifted your head, a haze of tears clouding your vision when you looked back to the woman sitting across from you. 

“It’s something bad, isn’t it?”

Hope let out a breath, tapping her foot on the ground. She glanced over her shoulder, then leaned closer to you. 

“Be on the lookout for a package coming in a few weeks.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. 

“A package?”

Hope nodded, and you shook your head. 

“What is that supposed to mean? Why don’t you just tell me?”

Hope smiled. 

“I don’t have all the answers. I’m afraid I have more questions than anything at this point. You are the only one who can answer the questions.” “Stop with the cryptic bullshit, please.” “Cryptic bullshit is all I have right now.”

You stared into those blue eyes, and Hope stood up, taking your empty cup in her hand. 

“I’ll be in touch.”

She turned and walked to the door, dropping the cups in the trash can before she pulled a pair of sunglasses from her pocket, sliding them onto her face before she was swept away by the Los Angeles foot traffic. 

“Hey, sweetie. How was your day?”

You glanced away from the window, smiling when you saw your sister. 

“Fine. How’s Jane?” “Fine. Busy as ever.”

You nodded, turning and looking out the window again. 

“You okay?”

You nodded again. 

“Just tired.” “Want to order a pizza or something?”

You nodded, keeping your face towards the window so Betty wouldn’t see the tears you couldn’t explain that suddenly came to your eyes. Your phone rang and you sniffled as you grabbed it, eyes narrowing at the number you didn’t recognize. 

“Hello?” “It just occurred to me that I got your phone number without asking you and I’m suddenly acutely aware of how stalkerish that seems.”

You gave a quiet laugh. 

“Yeah, you’re really not helping your case at all.” “You’d think I’d realize that, what with me being a lawyer and all.”

The smile on your face widened, and you glanced over to see Betty motioning towards the door, winking at you as she took her phone with her, walking into the hotel hallway. You settled back into your place at the windowsill, closing your eyes at the voice in your ears. 

“I’m sorry we didn’t get a real chance to talk the other night. My … business partner said you looked stunning.” “Thank you.” “He also said you left in a hurry.”

You nodded, looking down at the cars on the road before you spoke again. 

“I, uh …” “You don’t have to explain anything to me.” “No, I …”

You sighed. 

“I’m remembering some things.” “That’s great.” “Yeah, you would think so. It just … it hurts.” “Hurts?”

You nodded. 

“Sometimes I’m fine. I hear something from my past or see something and it’s like ‘oh, that’s right. I wrecked my dad’s car in the grocery store parking lot when I was fifteen.’ Other times … it’s like a knife to my skull.” “I had no idea.”

You nodded, staring at the palm trees outside the window, voice barely a whisper. 

“How could you?”

Matt was quiet on the other end of the line, until his voice rumbled through the line. 

“Y/N, if you’d rather I not call again, you can say. I won’t take offense to it. I just enjoyed talking with you the other day, and I … I feel like we haven’t had enough time.”

You opened your mouth, glancing away from the window as a memory overtook you. 

“Please don’t cry.”

You pressed your face into his chest, digging your fingers into the thick muscles of his back. He sighed, moving his arms around you, holding you tighter. 

“Come on, pretty girl. You know I can’t leave when you’re this upset.” “I’m not upset.” “You’re crying.”

You shook your head, lifting it and pressing your cheek against his. 

“I just wish we had more time.”

You gasped in a breath, squeezing your eyes shut and pressing your hand against the cool glass of the window. Shaky fingers moved your phone to the sill beside you, clicking the speaker button. 

“Y/N? Are you okay? Please say something.”

You nodded. 

“I … I’m okay.” “What happened? You were gasping like you couldn’t breathe.” “Memory.” “Are you okay?”

You shook your head, hanging up the phone and running to the bathroom. You managed to get the toilet open before you threw up, groaning when you heard your phone begin to ring again. 

“Honey? I thought I heard … oh, no.”

You motioned towards the room, where your phone was still ringing. Betty nodded, leaving you to go and answer your phone. 

“Hello? … This is Betty Ross, her sister. … She’s okay, she just … she’s sick. I’ll get her to call you as soon as she feels better, okay? … Thank you.”

Betty walked back into the bathroom to find you with one elbow propped on the bathtub, your face in your hand. She took a washrag and ran it under cold water, kneeling to gently press it against your face. 

“That was Matt Murdock. Which, I’m sure you already knew.” “I hung up on him.”

Betty nodded, moving the cool rag to your neck. 

“He was worried about you.”

You nodded, eyes closed as Betty moved the rag over your face. 

“Are you okay? What happened?” “I remembered something.”

Betty’s hand faltered just the slightest bit, as she moved the rag to your forehead. 

“What was it?”

You shook your head, exhaling sharply. 

“The same man, he was … he was leaving. And I didn’t want him to go. He said he couldn’t leave me while I was crying, and I said I just wished we had more time.”

Betty schooled her face into a passive interest, instead of the horrified look she’d had while you were talking, and you blinked your eyes open to see a soft smile on her face. 

“You feeling okay?”

You slowly shook your head and she helped you stand, staying close as you brushed your teeth, walking beside you and helping you climb into your bed. Betty closed the curtains, standing by the window as you spoke softly. 

“He was wearing a uniform.”

Betty swallowed. 

“The man you’ve been remembering?”

You nodded, rolling onto your side and hugging the extra pillow on the bed. 

“It was blue, like … like a cop’s uniform.” “You think he was a cop?”

You sighed. 

“I don’t know. It doesn’t feel like he was a cop, but he … he was important like that. Don’t ask me what I mean or how I know, because I don’t know. I just … that’s what I feel.”

Betty nodded. You rolled onto your back, staring up at the ceiling. 

“We didn’t have enough time. That’s all I could feel, that I just needed more time.”

Tears gathered in your eyes as you looked at your sister. 

“Please. Please don’t tell me I had someone and lost them. I can’t be remembering all this just to find out he died.”

Betty shook her head. 

“No, honey. No.”

She walked over, sitting on your bed, running her fingers through your hair. You gave a quiet sob, speaking softly. 

“You know more than you’re telling me. Why won’t you just tell me, Betty?”

Betty closed her eyes, continuing to stroke your hair. 

“Sweetie—“ “Whatever Dad told you, he can’t take you away from me. You have to know that.”

You met her eyes, your own glassy with tears. 

“Whatever he threatened you with, he cannot keep me away from you.”

Betty gave a shaky sob, shaking her head. 

“I can’t take that chance.” “How can you keep it from me?” “You kept it from me.”

You blinked, and Betty shook her head, tears slipping down her cheeks. 

“It was a secret, the relationship between this man and you. I had no clue about it at all, Y/N.”

You shook your head, staring at your sister. Betty sniffled, pressing her lips together as she shook her head. 

“You were with him for years before you even hinted at anything. I didn’t … I didn’t even know his name.”

Betty steeled herself, the half-truth she was feeding you making her want to be sick. You shook your head, meeting her blue eyes. 

“How could I do that?”

Betty shook her head, moving a hand to brush your hair back. 

“It doesn’t matter now.” “Where is he? If he was important enough for me to hide him from you, where is he now?”

Betty gave another shaky sigh. 

“I guess that’s something you’re just going to have to remember.”

You were sitting in Betty’s breakfast nook, legs crossed as you ran your fingers over the downy fur of the kitten she had insisted the two of you needed. The little orange tabby was purring in your lap, the two of you settling on Marvin as his name. 

You didn’t know why. Betty didn’t know why. Marvin just suited him. 

A knock at the back door stirred Marvin, the pair of you glancing towards the door. You set the kitten on the floor, watching him scamper towards the door, with you following close behind. You opened the door to find it empty, save for a small box. 

“Package delivery, Marv.”

He gave a soft meow, and you smiled as you picked up the box, bringing it to the table. It was addressed to you, with no return address, and you did a double take when you found the kitten on the table beside the box. 

“Betty would flip if she knew you were on the table.”

Marvin meowed and you shook your head with a quiet laugh. 

“I’m not going to tell her. Just don’t mess anything up.”

He meowed again, in what you could only guess was agreement, little eyes watching as you picked up a knife and cut the box open. You pulled out the contents, setting the box on the floor, laughing when Marvin dove into the box and started to play. You shook your head, eyebrows raising when you saw the contents of the package. 

“Comic books?”

You shook your head, picking one up and flipping through it. You made a quiet humming noise in your throat, picking up the first issue and walking towards the couch in the living room. You smiled when you heard the jingle of the little bell on Marvin’s collar, and you gave a quiet laugh when you sat down and he curled up in your lap. 

“Y/N? Are you home?”

You blinked as you looked up, a shocked breath leaving your lips. You scrambled off the couch, apologizing to Marvin for disturbing his slumber, skidding into the kitchen. Betty stood there with one eyebrow raised and a smile on her face. You shook your head, motioning towards the living room. 

“I am so sorry. I meant to have dinner ready and I started reading and lost all track of time.” “Must have been a good book.” “It is.”

Betty shook her head as she started to unpack the groceries she had bought. You gave a quiet laugh, helping her unpack the groceries. 

“It’s a comic book, of all things.” “Seriously?”

You nodded. Betty clicked her tongue, and you looked back to see her smiling. 

“You were borderline obsessed with the Archie comics back in the day.” “Betty and Veronica fighting over Archie was my jam.”

Betty shook her head, setting the eggs in the fridge. 

“What’s this one about?” “It’s fantasy stuff.” “Oh?” “Superheroes.”

Betty’s hand faltered as she reached for the lettuce. 

“What?” “Oh, it’s these completely far out tales. Like, the one I started a while ago was this guy who got dosed with a fuckton of gamma radiation and now he turns into this giant green rage monster.”

You yelped when the glass Betty had reached for slipped from her hand, shattering against the floor. 

“Oh my god, are you okay? Betty.”

She looked to you and your eyes widened at how pale she suddenly seemed. You shook your head, reaching out for her. 

“Come on. You should sit—ow!”

You winced as you led Betty to a chair, groaning when you saw a piece of glass sticking out of your foot. You grit your teeth and pulled the glass out, closing your eyes and wincing again when you saw the blood dripping from the cut. You shook your head, patting Betty’s shoulder. 

“I’m going to grab a bandaid and make sure Marvin doesn’t find his way in here. I’ll be right back.”

Betty didn’t move as you limped from the kitchen, picking up the kitten from the back of the couch and walking into the bathroom. 

“Never mind the bloodtrail leading here. It’ll be fine. And you, sir, better not shred the toilet paper when I lock you in here.”

Marvin tilted his head at you and you shook your head as you gave a quiet laugh. You sat on the closed toilet and put your foot over your knee, looking down at the cut on your heel. 

Only … there was no cut. There was no blood. You felt your eyebrows furrow as you studied your skin, but there was nothing there. 

“But I felt it. It hurt. I pulled glass out of my foot.” 

You ran a finger along the bottom of your foot, then let it fall back to the floor. You shook your head, turning to look at the kitten sitting on the counter beside you. 

“I’m not crazy.”

Marvin gave a chirp of agreement, and you nodded, pushing a hand through your hair before gathering him into your arms and walking back to Betty. You plopped the kitten into her lap, sliding your feet into a pair of shoes near the door, grabbing the broom and dustpan as you swept up the broken glass. You cleaned the blood from the floor, then walked over to sit beside your still-pale sister. She had one hand slowly petting the purring kitten and you shook your head. 

“Talk to me.”

Betty slowly shook her head. 

“You just startled me, is all.” “I said ‘giant green rage monster’ and you almost passed out. You were white as a sheet, acting like you’d seen a ghost. That’s not like you, Betty. What’s going on?”

Betty swallowed as she looked down at the cat. She shook her head and you gave a forceful exhale. 

“Betty, that stuff is a fantasy. There’s no such thing as—as Iron Man. The Hulk is nowhere even in the vicinity of plausible, because that much radiation would kill a man, not turn him into the literal Jolly Green Giant.”

One corner of Betty’s mouth quirked up. She shook her head. 

“What did … what did the comic say the explanation was?” “As to why he didn’t die?”

Betty nodded. 

“He had some kind of gene or something in his body that partnered with the gamma radiation and somehow protected him instead of killing him. I don’t know; you’re the scientist, Bets. Not me.”

Betty slowly nodded, turning her head to look at you. 

“Where did you get the comic books?”

You lifted a shoulder, shaking your head. 

“They were delivered this morning. No return address.” “What all have you read about?”

You stood up and walked into the living room, gathering the books and bringing them to the kitchen table. 

“This is the first one I read. Iron Man. Then another one about Iron Man, then the Hulk. Thor is up next, and then this one about Captain America.”

Betty clenched her jaw at that, until you showed her the last issue. 

“This one is supposed to bring them all together. Make a team out of them, The Avengers.”

You gave a quiet laugh, shaking your head. 

“Everything I’m reading seems so familiar, but I know I’ve never read these before.”

You tapped the Captain America issue, shaking your head. 

“Anyway, you’re welcome to read them, if you want. I’ll call for a pizza, since I did a crap job of cooking dinner.”

Betty nodded, smiling as you left her to walk into the living room and get your cell phone. She lifted a shaking hand to take hold of the first comic book you’d showed her. She shook her head, running her fingers over the red and gold superhero on the front. 

Tony Stark was no longer a household name. Stark Industries was a shell of the corporation it once was, and both Tony and Pepper Potts had gone off the grid. 

Betty pushed the Iron Man comics aside, lifting the one about Thor. 

No one had heard from Thor since the Battle of Sokovia. Jane had teared up when Betty had asked her about it in L.A., saying that she hadn’t heard from him, but was glad he wasn’t around to meet the fate the others had met. 

Betty swallowed and reached for the Captain America issue, shaking her head and taking hold of the Hulk. 

Bruce hadn’t answered the last time Betty had tried to call. It had been over a year ago, when everything was falling apart with you and then the Avengers. Betty had left a frantic message, telling Bruce to stay away, to hide as best he could to keep himself safe, to go as far off the grid as he’d always wanted to be. 

She still had no clue if he’d even gotten the message. 

Shaky fingers flipped through the pages, reading passages that she remembered as if they’d happened yesterday. A woman was in the comic squares, supposedly a love interest for … 

Betty glanced back a few pages, closing her eyes when she saw Bruce Banner as the scientist who gets turned into the Hulk. She shook her head, flipping forward and discovering the red-haired love interest was none other than Natasha Romanoff. 

Betty set the book down and covered her mouth with a hand. She closed her eyes, biting her tongue. 

This would be for the best. Removing Betty from the story and replacing her with Natasha would save the multitude of questions Betty knew her sister would have. 

But it hurt. 

This story, Bruce’s story, was theirs. Betty was the only one who could bring him back when the Hulk took over. Betty was a witness for the fight that nearly destroyed Harlem, and was the only reason Bruce didn’t kill the Abomination. 

“Betty?”

Betty blinked, turning to face you and smiling. You motioned with your phone. 

“Twenty minutes and we’ll have dinner.”

Betty nodded, standing up from her chair and walking to you. She wrapped you in her arms and you rolled your eyes as you hugged her back. 

“I love you, Y/N.” “I love you too, Betty.” “Please don’t ever forget that.”

You shook your head, and Betty patted your face as she pulled back from you. She walked to uncork a bottle of wine, and you chewed on your lip as you glanced at the comic books spread over the table. 

“What are you reading?”

You smiled as you flipped a page in your book, not lifting your eyes to your curious father. 

“Nothing.” “Y/N…”

You giggled, turning your head to look at him, seeing the stern look on his face. 

“It’s a comic book, Dad.” “Comic book?”

You nodded, and one of his eyebrows raised. 

“Why in the world are you reading comic books?”

You shrugged. 

“I don’t know. They’re interesting. It’s nice to escape reality every now and then.” “Tell me about them. Is it something I’d like?”

You gave a quiet laugh. 

“No, Dad. I seriously doubt you’d like these. They’re fantasy.” “I’ve been known to indulge in a fantasy every now and then.”

You laughed louder, shaking your head. 

“Dad, no offense, but I don’t believe that.”

Thaddeus rolled his eyes and you shook your head again, laughing under your breath. He tapped his thumb against the arm rest and then spoke. 

“I heard you’ve been talking with a lawyer from Manhattan.” “Dad…” “I’m just stating a fact.” “We don’t talk about my dating life, remember?”

The look on his face matched the one on your own, and you swallowed as you blinked a few times. Thaddeus smiled as he moved a hand to gently pat your arm, and you relaxed back in the seat, a soft smile on your lips. After a quiet minute, you spoke softly. 

“Have we ever been to Romania before today?”

Thaddeus shook his head. 

“I have, but you and your sister haven’t. It’s a beautiful place. You’ll love it.” “Even though I don’t speak Romanian? Wait. I don’t, do I?”

Thaddeus chuckled. 

“No, dear. But you’ll be fine. That phone has translation apps and there’s often someone who speaks English.”

You nodded, turning your head to peek out the airplane window. 

“Why are we going there again?” “I’ve got some business with the prime minister before the summit this week.”

You slowly nodded. 

“And the summit is …” “In Vienna this year.”

You nodded again, then let out a slow breath. Thaddeus moved his hand to pat your arm again. 

“Get some rest. We’ll be landing soon.”

The air was warm as you walked along the marketplace, eyes dancing over the booths offering colorful scarves and handmade knicknacks. You made a mental note to come back to those, eyes lighting up when you saw the section offering fresh produce. 

You stopped at a booth with baskets of deep purple plums displayed, and you stepped up beside a man, your hand brushing his gloved one as you both reached for the same fruit. 

“Sorry, I didn’t—“

You stepped back, looking towards another basket as your cheeks flushed. You felt a gentle tap on your shoulder and you glanced back, smiling softly as you took the fruit he offered in his palm. 

“Thank you.”

He nodded, and you studied the plate where the prices were posted. You tried to remember what the exchange rate was, glancing to see if anything could tell you whether credit cards were accepted, stopping when a raspy voice beside you rumbled softly in a language you didn’t understand. You turned to look at the man who had given you a plum before inadvertently paying for it, and he nodded at you before turning and walking away. 

You watched him go, unable to shake the sudden feeling that something about him was familiar. Surely you’d never met him before, because you’d never been to this country. 

But there was something about his eyes, the icy blue somehow haunted…

“There you are. Find anything?”

You blinked, exhaling before you turned and gave your dad a smile, holding up the plum. 

“Just a snack.”

Thaddeus rolled his eyes but smiled, slipping his arm around your shoulders as the two of you walked down the street, and you subtly steered him back towards the booth of scarves. You rolled the plum between your hands as Thaddeus spoke.

“What do you think about Bucharest?”

You nodded. 

“It’s nice. Different, but in a good way.”

Thaddeus smiled, letting his arm fall as you stepped away from his side, fingers dancing over a brightly colored scarf. He tucked his hands in his pockets and spoke. 

“I’m meeting the Prime Minister for dinner. Do you want to come with me?”

You pursed your lips, stepping to another scarf. 

“I don’t think so. I’d like to explore a bit more.” “I’ll get Evan to—“ “Dad.”

You glanced over your shoulder, giving the General a look that made him smile. You shook your head, rubbing the scarf between your fingers. 

“Dad, I’m fine. I’m a big girl. I just want to grab a bite and sightsee a bit.” “Still, I can get Evan to show you around.”

You rolled your eyes, lifting the scarf and nodding before turning to face him. 

“Dad. I can walk around by myself.” “I know that. I just … I worry about you.”

You sighed, smiling at the woman who walked over to you, nodding at the scarf in your hands. You nodded back and she took it from you, to bag it up. You turned to your father and smiled at him. 

“I know. But you don’t need to. I’m fine, really.”

You held up the plum you’d been carrying. 

“I can find my own snacks and everything.”

Thaddeus laughed as he shook his head, stepping closer to you and slipping money to the woman to pay for your scarf. You smiled and slid the bag onto your arm, your smile widening when Thaddeus once again tucked his arm around you as the two of you resumed your walk. 

But you couldn’t help glancing over your shoulder, getting the strangest feeling that you were being watched. 

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[daleisgreat]

The Punisher (1989): Unrated Cut

This has been one I have been meaning to be covering for a few years now. Longtime readers here may remember my friend Matt I reference semi-occasionally when I review one of his gag gift movies here. Every now and then though he will legit surprise with me with an awesome movie gift as with today’s example. Matt knows I am a huge fan of the comic book character, The Punisher, and that all three of the live action Punisher movies are guilty pleasures of mine. Up until a few years ago I already owned both the Thomas Jane and Ray Stevenson Punisher films on BluRay, but the original 1989 Punisher movie I only owned a bare bones DVD release that I thought was the only home video version of that film. Matt surprised me a few years back by tracking down an international release of an unrated director’s cut of The Punisher on BluRay. Turns out in North America, right on the precipice of the film’s released it got traded studios as its original studio was in the process of being acquired. Turns out the new studio was not confident in the drawing power of Dolph Lungdren anymore so the 1989 Punisher film was among the first wave of movies to hit the straight-to-video market. Internationally, The Punisher received theatrical releases, and performed well, which is why it landed an international BluRay release. Thank goodness my BluRay player recognizes international regions, but my only nitpick with it is the lack of subtitles. So this version of the film on BluRay is the ‘Unrated Cut’ which is how the director, Mark Goldblatt, originally envisioned the film. The 80s were the era of the gratuitously violent action blockbusters with the likes of Rambo, Robocop, Commando, Terminator and countless others dominating the box office. The Punisher was shot for that demographic, and Goldblatt stated in the commentary how he had to take the film to the MPAA nine times before toning down the movie enough to earn an ‘R’ rating.

The film wastes no time with a lengthy origin story as it kicks off with a gang leader being acquitted of all charges for murdering Frank Castle (Dolph Lungdren) and his family five years prior. A news reporter recommends the gang to be on the lookout for ‘The Punisher’ vigilante, which the gang laughs off the journalist’s warnings, only for the gang to instantly meet their demise mere minutes after arriving home from court. The Yakuza arrive in town to capitalize on The Punisher’s fallout, with Yakuza leader Lady Tanaka (Kim Miyori) forcing replacement gang leader Dino Moretti (Bryan Marshall) to partner up with her after kidnapping the children of Moretti and his allies. Trying to keep tabs on this whole mess of a situation is the ‘Punisher Task Force’ consisting of Frank Castle’s former partner, Jake Berkowitz (Louis Gossett Jr.), and fellow detective Sam Leary (Nancy Everhard). Following all this setup, The Punisher is essentially 1980s action film 101, with Castle tearing it up against the Yakuza in a couple of entertaining shootouts in a casino and later on in a funhouse, complete with Yakuza members firing away at Frank while breezing down a curvy slide. Completing the over-the-top 80s action formula is the cheesy one-liners, with my favorite featuring Berkowitz grilling Frank on his vigilante warfare, “What do you call 125 murders in five years?” to which Castle dryly retorts, “Work-in-Progress.” Eventually everything comes to a head when Punisher and Moretti team up to rescue Moretti’s kid in the Yakuza stronghold, where the most intense fighting sequences emanate from in the entire film. The unrated cut pulls no punches, with the most gruesome fatalities transpiring as Castle and Moretti work their way to the final confrontation with Lada Tanaka.

When I re-watched the film with audio commentary from Mark Goldblatt he made sure to pinpoint which parts he added back in as he originally envisioned for this unrated version, and how he stands behind this version being the definitive cut of the film. Other interesting tidbits from the commentary was how the film wound up being shot in Australia, regrets of not having the Punisher’s trademark skull icon on his shirt in the film and informing in-depth on the film trading studios and going direct-to-video in America. Goldblatt also mentions in the commentary how there is a workprint cut of the film, which he stated he does not stand behind since it was cut before the core movie finished filming. Said workprint cut is included as a bonus feature, and is actually eight minutes longer than the unrated cut. The main takeaway I had with the workprint cut is it has a whole new 17 minute opening on the origin of The Punisher that happens five years earlier where it shows Castle and Berkowitz making a bust on a routine stakeout that clues the gangsters in to Frank’s family location where they ultimately make a hit on Frank’s family. That whole 17 minutes is briefly alluded to in the unrated cut in the form of a five second flashback of the family’s demise. This prologue adds a whole new dynamic to the film, but I can see why Goldblatt wanted it cut since it brings a snappier pace to the overall film. Also worth mentioning is that the workprint is presented in its original adapted 35mm form, and how the editors did a commendable job cleaning it up for the HD version on the BluRay.

Other extra features is a 21 minute interview with Mark Goldblatt. If you do not have time to invest into the commentary track, then this interview is a recommended alternative as it hits most of the same beats and goes into Mark’s other Hollywood successes. Also included is a quick five minute interview with Dolph Lungdren where he has fond memories working with the stuntmen in the fight sequences and wishes the movie would have had a theatrical run in America. For those who are fans of reverse box art, I recommend taking advantage of that here, as this BluRay’s alternative artwork is pretty remarkable. Rounding off the BluRay is a gag reel…..which would not load on my BluRay player, so that will have to be my loss. The Punisher: Unrated Cut BluRay was a surprise hit gift from Matt! I will stand behind Goldblatt by safely assuring his unrated cut here is the must-see version of the film. A solid slate of extra features only helps makes this BluRay the definitive home video edition of this movie. If you dig the over-the-top action films of the 80s, then odds are this 1989 take on The Punisher will be right up your alley. Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed I & II Deck the Halls Detroit Rock City Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Grunt: The Wrestling Movie Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hell Comes to Frogtown Hercules: Reborn Hitman I Like to Hurt People Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jay and Silent Bob Reboot Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Last Action Hero Major League Man of Steel Man on the Moon Man vs Snake Marine 3-6 Merry Friggin Christmas Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpions Revenge National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets Not for Resale Pulp Fiction The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VIII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Pilgrim vs the World The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Slacker Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Sully Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild The Wizard Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past