#like i have 80 pages written and it feels like a waste if i dont

[fagcrisis]

here's a fun fact for today's lucky 1000

you ever hear this song?

which i could not insert as audio, despite having downloaded the file

you might not have! despite its apparent popularity at weddings, and in the 80's (to the point where its inescapability was parodied in a new yorker cartoon) today was the first time i had ever knowingly listened to it. im a fan, for the record.

johann pachelbel was not one of the great composers we studied in school, and history was not kind to his work. thus, his Canon was lost to time until being written down sometime in the 1920s, but for some reason i am unable to discern from wikipedia, it was not recorded until the 40s.

a 1968 performance of the piece brought it to the public eye, and it was an immediate success. that same year, a greek band called aphrodite's child released a baroque rock cover of it (its kind of incomprehensible lyrically but it's fun) and not long after a spanish band called pop tops also did a cover of the piece, called oh lord why lord. i like this one better personally

it only grew more popular after this. carl sagan used it in his series cosmos: a personal voyage, it was covered by countless bands and topped the charts in various renditions year after year. it's no wonder that a pop music producer pete waterman described canon as "almost the godfather of pop music because we've all used that in our own ways for the past 30 years". he claimed kylie minogues i should be so lucky was based on pachelbel's canon.

probably the most famous example, at least the one i knew of, is green day's basket case. in this song, the chord progression pretty much follows that of pachelbel's canon.

other songs that are apparently based on this piece are: - all together now by the farm - go west by the pet shop boys - C U when U get there by coolio - dont look back in anger by oasis - memories by maroon 5

its really entertaining to listen to pachelbel's canon in full, and then listen to all these songs. its very similar to the emotion you feel when you are able to recognize the wilhelm scream in a film.

a look behind the curtain of the author: i already took my sleep meds but shot out of bed to google the lyrics to basket case by green day bc it was stuck in my head and i couldnt remember them. this lead me down a rabbit hole and now i have wasted a precious melatonin gummy

i compiled a youtube playlist of every song wikipedia lists that was based on pachelbel's canon, for your listening pleasure

sources used for this post: - Wikipedia pages on: basket case by green day, pachelbel's canon, pete waterman, kylie minogue, australia, organ (instrument) - youtube videos: linked in post - discord: opened to see that my friend miro has anime girl hair vents

[domestic-harry]

Last Line Challenge

So...I’ve been tagged to do this a few times and never did because I felt guilty that I hadn’t written something for so long. ALAS, I’ve been writing a bit for the avant-garde fic I had started so long ago. Thank you for the recent tag @kingsofeverything xx

“You know,” Harry roughly ran his fingers through his hair and took a step backwards, “If you had asked me because you wanted me there, I would’ve said yes.”

I’m gonna tag these folks: @horsegirlharry @crinkle-eyed-boo @dimpled-halo @fondleeds @phd-mama @gloriaandrews  @louisandthealien @greenfeelings

[theygotlost]

So I just finished reading Fruiting Bodies and Other Fungi by Brian Lumley. It's a collection of short horror stories written in the 70s and 80s that I picked up at the used bookstore last year, and I wanna share my thoughts. here's my spoiler-free review of each one:

Fruiting Bodies: 6/10. I really like the concept and the atmosphere that it builds up, but the way the climax at the end is written just feels cheesy and it kind of ruined it for me.

The Man Who Photographed Beardsley: 7/10. short and sweet. yass and slay.

The Man Who Felt Pain: 8/10. One of my favorites, or maybe just my favorite one full stop. I really like the concept and how the general atmosphere is just kind of strange and unsettling rather than explicitly "scary".

The Viaduct: 6/10. A successfully tense read, though I'm not a fan of the INSANNEEEE CRAZY GUY aspect.

Recognition: 7/10. the preface said this was an homage to Lovecraft and thats exactly what it is. I dont have much else to say it's just pretty solid.

No Way Home: 6/10. kind of the same issue as Fruiting Bodies. it sets up what I THOUGHT would be a really interesting concept and then takes a disappointing turn. the second half and the ending are just stupid and silly to me and feels incongruous to the initial concept.

The Pit-Yakker: 6/10. one of the few stories in here where I liked the ending more than everything preceding it. it spends a little too much time on "horny teenage boy wants to have sexo with his gf" in the front end.

The Mirror of Nitocris: 4/10. this is nothing. I absorbed none of it. at least it's really short.

Necros: 5/10. this one is also just kind of comical to me. maybe I just hate to see a girlboss winning.

The Thin People: 8/10. I hate to praise it by comparing it to something else, but reminds me a lot of the artwork of Trevor Henderson. It doesn't waste as much time as some of these other stories and gets to the point quicker.

The Cyprus Shell: 8/10. I ❤ sea creatures!!!!

The Deep-Sea Conch: 7/10. this is a companion piece to The Cyprus Shell and it's almost as good but I think the execution of The Cypress Shell is a little better.

Born of the Winds: 2/10. 60 pages of racist bullshit. at least this was the very last one or I wouldn't have finished it or the collection as a whole at all. not worth anyone's time.

Horror literature is different from horror film because it's not really possible to write a jumpscare, so it relies more heavily on atmosphere. In general, I think the best stories in this collection are the ones that leave more to the imagination. I think having the horror spelled out for the reader or explicitly saying "and then...the Scary Thing happened!" at the end falls flat and insults my intelligence. The best stories are the ones that are more mysterious, unexplained, or let you deduce what happened through context. The only exception is The Thin People, where the delivery of "and then the scary thing happened" is so matter-of-fact that I think it works in favor of the story.

I'm not a horror fan by any means, so maybe this book just isn't for me. I decided to give it a try anyway, just to broaden my horizons and go into something with an open mind. I definitely liked some of these stories more than others, but overall I would say the collection is mediocre. If you're really into short horror stories, I do recommend you look into it yourself cause you might enjoy some of these stories more than I did.

[spacejunk-tm]

Do you have any tips for someone who's going through the writer block? Or any writing tips in general????

idk if you’re still in writer’s block hell but asldkjfsdf 

first off, i suggest you figure out why you’re in writer’s block. is it that you’re not enjoying the feeling of the story? (1) that you’re not liking the dialogue? (2) that you’re not liking the scene? (1) that you’re having some personal problems and/or your environment isn’t conducive to writing? (3) 

i might be able to help! (no guarantees but i’ll do my best) under the read more to save some scrolling 

i find that isolating why you are having a block can help in solving the block! 

(1) if you’re not enjoying the feeling of the story at this point, or enjoying the scene you are working on. I suggest you go back and find the last part you did like and redo. That can be seemingly tedious and trust me i’ve deleted 80-150 pages of text for this reason to get out of a block so it can be really painful to just chop it off or try a different route in your story (you can open a new word document and put the new path there if you don’t wanna up and delete everything!) you can also try to take a break and remind yourself what got you so excited about this story in the first place. what made you want to write it in the first place. listen to some music that reminds you of the piece (or completely new music! try to find songs that would fit scenes/characters). 

if you are insistent that you can’t go back and delete things or redo, i still suggest you still take a different path with your writing. if you’re at a scene and you’re thinking “i just really don’t like how this is going” “i just really don’t like where the characters are at right now but i know i want this scene in the book, i know i want this part but i just don’t have the motivation/energy/ability to write this scene/point/part” i suggest you leave that document, open a new one, and write whatever the hell you DO want to write in this moment on that path. for me, this is usually a document that i have as “[insert book title name] REDACTED” which consists scenes that are like bloopers at the end of a movie or something. they’re scenes that might never get into the book but they can be funny, sweet, romantic, angsty, basically anything that you want to be feeling in that moment (even if it’s just you literally yelling “I DONT WANT TO WRITE THIS AAAAAA”) this might seem like a waste of energy or even frivolous but i don’t find there to be any such thing in art. you wouldn’t tell someone that was a painter that sketching on the side of a paper or on the back of an envelope was a waste of time (or you shouldn’t) and that’s kinda what this is like! i use my “redacted” things to kind of loosen me up and to help to get to know the characters better! Sometimes it can be very enlightening to know how your characters would react in AU-ish type situations or just blooper-ish types of things where they otherwise wouldn’t be like that! you can also use it for more serious things like monologues or even intense describing of a thing/place. don’t be afraid to get dramatic and use Big Movie Voice or whatever to write out things that otherwise would just be trapped in your head!

the point of this part is that you likely need to reignite your excitement with your story. you need to refocus and show yourself why you’re writing it in the first place. to rekindle the fire that was burning before you reached this block! 

(2) if you’re having trouble with dialogue/character voices, get to a private place and SAY the dialogue aloud. it might feel silly to talk to yourself but having you actually have to say the dialogue can save you from getting a “newsie” or “robotic” type of dialogue going. it can also help you to pace, rant, or generally think more in depth about the different dialogue suggestions and perhaps to some things from (1) to help reorient yourself in the story! 

(3) if you’re having a personal problem, a problem outside of your writing, there is honestly very little you can do until the “mood” passes. i find this to be one of the toughest writing blocks because it is self-feeding. you don’t write because you can’t because of personal/environment problems, but then you feel guilty about not writing and it creates the mood again to where you can’t write and so on and so forth. if your mood has gone on for several days or you simply can’t take it anymore, i have always found that writing exactly what i’m feeling from characters/places or the exact opposite of what i’m feeling can really swing me into and out of those moods when i’m desperate. 

when i’m very, very depressed (and that gets nasty) i can write four page long monologues about melancholy and become Dramatic and have characters that are sad go through what i’m going through and that can really help to ease your pain. to simply get it out. even if it’s not sad, if it’s angry, or anxious or fearful or any strong emotion that holds you. 

on the flip side, i’ve learned that writing the exact opposite can actually help to swing you out of the mood. this one is more tricky (for me) because you have to catch the mood at the tipping point of “i’m never going to be able to do this” and “f/uck it i’m writing SOMETHING” if i am very, very depressed writing happy characters in happy situations and making it so detailed and intense as if i am there with them can truly help to swing you out of that situation. when i’m having a fit of anger, i write some of the best love/romantic scenes i could ever write. this creates a slight “fake it ‘til you make it’ attitude that can help you in your real life and help you progress

and if you just read that and kinda went “yeah but none of those things are happening right now in my story!” i still suggest that you open a new document, write down whatever you want to write down, even if it’s just straight venting, and get it out. and some people might go, yeah but that’s just stupid writing! it’s not worth anything! 

so what? not everything you write has to be worth gold. in fact, things you write for the purpose of being garbage can be worth gold. some of the best writing i have ever done and ever had praised was written in some of the worst points in my life where i was certain being a writer would never work and so i had all but given up. 

that’s my main tip. give up the idea that everything is going to be perfect, sacrifice it to yourself and forgive yourself for holding you to that standard of perfection every time you opened your document. allow yourself to forgive yourself when you read this and (maybe) agree with me and then do hold yourself to that standard yet again. 

it’s okay. 

it doesn’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to be perfect, things are messy for a reason and art is meant to never be finished in the artist’s eye. you will never find it to be perfect because you can’t print the idea right outta your head and that’s okay!!!!! it’s okay to struggle, it’s okay to give yourself a break, take a walk, listen to some music, to allow yourself the ability to breathe and live without forcing yourself to perform constantly. and i know that’s hard, it’s tough to be sitting there and be thinking “i should really be writing” but know that your resting is also important for your writing. forced writing can often be worse and will only look more flawed. 

and if you have to write, i still suggest you write out your situation, funny things or ideas, a new scene you want or perhaps one the very first scene you imagined for this story. just jump right to it. go reignite your story! go enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[fuckdavestriderheistheworst-blog]

Avi's making me answer all of them so now you have to, too. All the ones no one else asks you.

why do i even reblog these things when i know one of you are gonna do this 

am i a masochist

I’ll try to give solid answers. 

1) Sexuality?

i dont know not straight but not gay and also probably not bi because i dont just look at people of both sexes and think “damn id tap that” 

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

ben stiller probably 

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

i took vantas’ book because it became the one closest to me 

“’That is such a bizarre request I have to agree to do it.’“

4) What do you think about most?

what im doing with my life and why i picked the most unsteady and risky career choice ever and if ill end up fucked because of it

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“We’re meeting at Think Coffee at four. Come with us.”

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

usually with at least boxers on but sometimes naked

7) What’s your strangest talent?

i used to get into rap battles with kids in my high school class i like to think im talented enough to declare it a talent

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

girls dont like boys girls like cars and money. boys will laugh at girls when theyre not funny

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

ive had a diss rap written about me on a few occasions if that counts

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

probably a year ago i dont keep track of my intense solo shower performances

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

i dont know if either of these count since they mostly just make me uncomfortable but silence bugs me and so does the solo sound of clockwork

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

no but once i got a stick stuck up it because of someone else

13) What’s your religion?

athiest i guess? like i dont really believe in god or in any higher power otherwise wed have been snuffed out for being pieces of shit long ago

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

taking pictures or carryin a drink or running when its too damn early and too damn cold

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind it for sure

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

that changes by the day. today a band i listened to a lot was son lux

17) What was the last lie you told?

that it was fine

18) Do you believe in karma?

only when im mad

19) What does your URL mean?

i mean

read it

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

i asked vantas and he said the answer to both is “my eagerness to please” which i dont know if i agree with but i dont have a better answer

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

who ISNT my celebrity crush is a better question

my favorites and the ones i would shit myself to meet in person are tom franco, ben stiller, and robert downey jr

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no and i dont really want to

23) How do you vent your anger?

i use it to be productive most of the time but if its anger on behalf of someone i smother the person i care about and try to forget my own feelings about it

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

cameras, picture frames, and vinyl records

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

video chatting for sure

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

im way happier with who i am than i was two years ago

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

a clock ticking or someone tappin in time to the passage OF time

vantas’ laugh

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if id never sent that anonymous message what if id just kept being who i was before

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

ghosts? psh fuck no. aliens? dude its a real thing aliens are real we have documented proof of it

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

wall on the right, vantas on the left

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

nothing really? i mean i could sniff vantas and then say i smell him but i dont really smell anything

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

im not sure i guess the hospital? nobody likes the hospital not even the staff

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?

west coast

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

god have you seen todays performers theyre all fuckin gorgeous

maybe selena gomez she has a cute face even if im not that into her music

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

spend time with the people i care about and dont waste time on the people i dont

make them know theyre important

36) Define Art.

somebody expressing themselves and NOT bullshitting some deep and fake meaning onto somethin they didnt try with

37) Do you believe in luck?

not really

38) What’s the weather like right now?

its 60 degrees 

39) What time is it?

9pm

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes i drive and no ive never CRASHED but i did fuck up my tire rod and alignment once because i swerved to miss a dog if that counts as a crash

41) What was the last book you read?

a college textbook

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

not enough that id go huffin it but i definitely dont dislike it

43) Do you have any nicknames?

not technically i dont think

44) What was the last movie you saw?

black panther

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

a concussion because of the amnesia that followed suit

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?

yeah

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

so theres this thing in northern new york called a garbage plate 

48) What’s your sexual orientation?

the same as #1

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

yeah and it sucked

50) Do you believe in magic?

no 

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

not if theyve done me wrong i dont particularly care that much about myself that id hate someone forever over something they did

52) What is your astrological sign?

saggitarius i think? im not sure i never keep up with horoscope stuff

53) Do you save money or spend it?

both 

54) What’s the last thing you purchased?

dinner 

55) Love or lust?

love

56) In a relationship?

yes and its a damn good one

57) How many relationships have you had?

more than 10 but less than 30

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no and i tried like a fucking IDIOT

59) Where were you yesterday?

school and also i had a meeting about my next job

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

no

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

god no i dont like socks

62) What’s your favorite animal?

chameleon (but birds are really fucking cool)

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

answered

64) Where is your best friend?

right beside me

65) Spit or swallow?(;

swallow

66) What is your heritage?

white and i dont think i can expand upon that without being laughed at for BEING white

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

i dont want to say sleeping but i think i was sleeping

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?

do angels and demons HAVE last names? im not versed enough to make an educated guess

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

what kind of question is this doesnt EVERYBODY??

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

fuck no i wouldnt like me if i met me

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

i dont want to work for lucifer so id save the dog, spend the rest of my day off at the vet makin sure he got treated and then look for the owner

or keep him depending on how big the dog is

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

i wouldnt tell them right away i dont think but i dont think i could keep that from people i loved 

id spend the rest of those days doing everything i could to make sure everybody knows they were important to me and then i guess id write a will

i dont know if id be afraid because part of me doesnt want to die and the other part knows its inevitable and that i shouldnt waste time bein afraid of it because like it or not itll happen eventually

73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

god thats a hard choice but can you have a real meaningful love without trust? i guess id have to give up love

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

noma - “brain power” 

its just impossible to not enjoy it or feel even a little pumped

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

nope im not cool with this one i cant answer it i am too paranoid

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust, some sacrifice, and lots of late night talks over late bought dinners 

77) How can I win your heart?

answered

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

yeah but to a certain point the creativity just becomes finger painting with your own shit while proclaiming you are the MASTER of modern fine arts and wont take any less than three million for your masterpiece 

or you know having a tantrum about paint pigment ownership so profound that it marks you in history books as the worlds biggest art cunt 

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

to try and make friends with a jaded grouch

80) What size shoes do you wear?

10

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“buried naked without his rolex so dont even try”

82) What is your favorite word?

answered

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

soul

84) What is a saying you say a lot?

probably “its cool”

85) What’s the last song you listened to?

“alternate world” by son lux

86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

red for sure

87) What is your current desktop picture?

one of those connect four memes 

its the pepperoni one but zoomed in on the pepperoni itself

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

no i do NOT want to kill anybody via explosion thats a shitty way to go 

hitler just in case

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

“what are you afraid of”

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

ask them politely to leave i guess? what the fuck kind of scenario is this night at the museum

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

1) totally unrealistic i would not eat vegetables without there being some other food group involved and 

2) i really dont want superpowers im not the hero type and never will be

maybe some way to freeze time that also includes bringing someone along to the frozen time zone because i never have enough time

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

the time i got to talk to robert zemeckis because i was fanboying so hard i barely registered half the shit he said and half the advice he gave

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i wouldnt erase any bad experience thats just asking for a butterfly effect scenario

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

nobody because 1) i am happy in my current relationship and dont really want to sleep around and 2) do they not get a say in it

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

hawaii because its probably warm and comforting there i can buy vantas a second ticket if the first is free

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

no

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

never thank fuck my cars interior costs more than i do

98) Ever been on a plane?

yeah a couple times

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

you cant go back in time and correct any mistakes so do it right the first time or make things right after you fuck up 

dont dwell on the stuff that doesnt matter and spend time on the stuff that does

[toomuchtimenerd]

Review for ‘The Unhoneymooners’ by Christina Lauren

Admittedly I ended up reading this book much quicker than I expected. Perhaps it was the fact that I was desperate to make myself forget I had ever read The Cruel Prince, or maybe I just needed some light reading to make myself feel like I was 15 years old again and reading my very first book on kindle: On the Island by Tracey Garvis Graves. Perhaps a bit of both. Regardless, The Unhoneymooners was a delightful book that flew by so quickly despite being around 400 pages. I think I needed something super lighthearted and contemporary to temporarily draw my mind away from high fantasy. I love fantasy, I really do and my entire folder of drafts for fantasy stories that I’ve brainstormed over the last several years is proof of my love for fantasy. But sometimes it’s still nice to get away and read something about nonmagical people in a nonmagical world surrounded by nonmagical things. This book did just that for me, and the fact that it’s mostly set in Maui pulls at my heartstrings a little because my first vacation with my boyfriend was actually in Maui too. What a happy coincidence.

Even though this book didn’t stir a lot of great, wild emotions within me the same way a lot of YA fantasy tends to, I’d still like to comment on some parts that I liked (which was a lot) and a few parts that were kinda ‘meh’ with me. This review is probably going to be a lot shorter than what I’ve written before, but that’s okay. 

The Unhoneymooners is about a 30-something-year-old Latina named Olive who narrates the entire story with the exception of the epilogue (which is narrated by the male love interest). Some background on Olive: she’s supposedly incredibly unlucky and unfortunate in life... almost like somehow all her luck has been sucked dry by her twin sister Ami. Ami’s the one who wins all the jackpots for random stuff in life, so much so that she managed to snag enough jackpots to plan a dream wedding and a free honeymoon for the price of only around $1000. As someone who also proclaims herself to be somewhat pretty unlucky in life, I relate to Olive pretty hard. I used to not be a pessimist, but whenever I look back on some of the stuff that has happened in my life that were TOTALLY out of my control I can’t help but chuckle and be like “wow my life is pretty darn unlucky sometimes”. Now it’s just easier for me to deal with certain things if I don’t get my hopes too high up beforehand. But enough about me. 

The story starts with Ami’s wedding, and unfortunately the jackpot she won for a free luxury shellfish catering at her wedding goes completely awry and almost everyone gets serious food poisoning. All except for our lovely heroine and of course, the love interest. The male lead is Ethan, the older brother of Ami’s new husband and also a guy that Olive does not really like at first. They met about 2-3 years ago, when Ami and Ethan’s brother (Dane) first started going out, and because Olive misinterpreted Ethan’s facial reaction at her eating cheese curds she forever believed that he didn’t like her and she wrote him off as a fat-shamer or something of the sort. Kind of weird, but okay I guess. Ethan’s your typical hottie, also 30-something years old and apparently has the looks of a frat boy (like Dane) but the personality of a homebody semi-dork (unlike Dane). Ethan does something math-related for a living and loves staying at home. He also has a lucky penny. How cute. 

So when everyone’s yacking and having explosive diarrhea all over the place, Olive and Ethan decide to make good use of the free honeymoon to Maui and make an agreement to tolerate each other for the length of their trip. The book very quickly gets juicy, considering a series of events happens and they are essentially forced to put on a constant charade of pretending to be newlyweds. All this pretending wears and tears down their emotional barriers with one another, and next thing you know they’re sharing feels and kisses and tongue action together. We find out that they both shared mutual feelings of attraction when they first met, but Dane had actually warned Ethan to not get involved with Olive due to her penchant for negativity (which stems from the fact that she’s so unlucky in life all the time). At one point at a baseball game or something, Olive goes to get cheese curds and as she’s enjoying her food she stumbles into Ethan who apparently makes a weird face at her and she gets incredibly insecure and feels like he was fat-shaming her. Turns out (and I can’t believe this took over 2 years to reconciliate) he was trying to mask his attraction towards her and avoid her out of respect for Dane. But Olive just assumed the worst, thinking Ethan did not like her and decided to return the feelings with mutual dislike. This alienated Ethan, and obviously who’s going to pursue a girl who’s giving you the vibes that scream ‘stay away from me!! i dont like u!!!’? Not any normal, sane, decent guy. 

Personally, I felt like this backstory between Olive and Ethan was super weird and not the most well fleshed out or even something that remotely makes much sense. I get feeling insecure and I understand not liking someone simply on the basis that you think they don’t like you. But I don’t understand how someone completely misinterprets a facial expression THAT much and then holds it against the other person for THAT long. Heck, I’m absolutely one to hold grudges against people but even I don’t think I’d hold a grudge for that long over something like that. But hey, this whole book is meant to be comedy fluff so I ain’t too bothered by this nonsense backstory. 

I’d say about 70-80% of the book is literally just about the relationship build-up between Olive and Ethan, and the rest is about the shitshow that is Ami and Dane, specifically just Dane. Turns out he’s been cheating on her for the majority of their 3-year relationship, and tbh Ami’s initial reaction to Olive informing her of Dane’s unfaithfulness kind of pissed me off. It’s one thing to not want to believe it, but it’s another to completely disregard it and turn it back on your sister by claiming they’re just trying to sabotage you or something. Thankfully, this whole issue is resolved pretty quickly and Ami’s way of finding the truth out herself was simply magnificent. She texted each of her husband’s side-chicks through his phone, pretending to be him, and had them all come by their house at the same time on the same day just so she can confront Dane and all his flings about his faithfulness. So beautifully done, it almost brings a tear to my eye. 

So in conclusion, The Unhoneymooners was a lighthearted and enjoyable read that truly had me either smiling or silently laughing for maybe a third of the book. The language was great, the chemistry between Olive and Ethan was oh so ooh la la, and way Lauren weaved in the love and support of a big close-knitted (and very dramatic) family was heartwarming. I may try to search for more books like these since light fluff is always much needed to help treat my seasonal depression (thanks January). But I’m always worried about shelling money over a book that ends up reading a little too much like corny fanfiction. For example, I absolutely adored Meg Cabot books when I was in middle school, but now that I’m in my 20s I really don’t think I could read any of her books for more than half an hour. If I tried, I would end up rolling my eyes out of their sockets. Books about a contemporary romance between teenagers seemingly always end up becoming so dramatic, but then again it’s probably because teenagers are incredibly dramatic. I should know this, after all, I definitely was a dramatic teenager. I wish I were being sarcastic. I’m just going to sprinkle some of my favorite quotes from The Unhoneymooners so I can help myself forget about how unnecessarily dramatic I was as a teen.

“I want to say something sassy, but the only coherent thought that comes to mind is how insulting it is that eyelashes like his were wasted on Satan’s Errand Boy...” (Lauren, 2019, Ch.2) 

- TELL ME WHY IS THAT QUOTE SO RELATABLE? WHY ARE BEAUTIFUL LASHES ALWAYS WASTED ON MEN?? MY BOYFRIEND HAS THE MOST STUNNING LASHES EVER MEANWHILE I NEED TO GLUE FALSIES ON MY DAMN EYELIDS JUST TO ACHIEVE HALF OF WHAT HE’S GOT

“I can appreciate my body in a bikini and still want to set fire to the patriarchy.” (Lauren, 2019, Ch.7)

- All I can say is yas preach 

“I am a homebody, through and through, and there’s nothing like being at home.” (Lauren, 2019, Ch.15)

- Also too relatable. I enjoy traveling, I enjoy vacations, I enjoy spending a night out with friends, and I enjoy a good party. But at the end of the day, there’s nothing I enjoy more than my own bed

[hiemshiemis]

films 2019

 1. bird box (susanne bier, 2018)

my mum wanted to watch this film with me, but i didnt feel like watching it at the first time. finally we watched it together the other day on netflix. its not an amazing film, but its actually very entertaining, and i really enjoyed it, although there are some parts where my anxiety showed up. also i had to say the plot has some holes, so at this point i think they shoud have worked more on that. the best thing is that it lasts two hours but it seems like one hour.

(sorry for my mistakes, i havent written in english for a long time)

6/10

2. roma (alfonso cuarón, 2018)

it’s hard for me at first starting a film, and i didnt find the moment to watch it but i really wanted. today i didnt know what to do with my life. it was the moment. i really liked this film for a lot of reasons, maybe the main one is the representation it gives of how life was in Mexico in 1970, and how it was for women and poor people. 

the main character’s acting is amazing, although they dont talk a lot, you just see what happens without the people saying anything. the photography is so realistic but at the same time is elegant and delicate, plus it is in black and white. maybe the plot is a little slow in the first hour basically because of how the scenes are shot. and i have loved the plot, the children and the women.

8/10

3. the favourite (yorgos lanthimos, 2019)

I LOVED THIS FILM. omg i didnt expect i was going to like it like that but i really do (im sorry i just realize i say ‘’really’’ a lot and im really sorry). i went to the cinema with some friends, and the only one that liked the film was me. the other people were like: “i didnt understand the meaning...”, “what a waste of time”, “it was just entertaining”, etc. but you know what, you dont actually have to look for a meaning, i mean, it is what it is. and it’s MARVELOUS. 

to be honest i dont know who i would rather to crush my head, if rachel weisz or emma stone (obviously i have to mention olivia colman’s interpretation). i guess i would probably say rachel weisz because what an interpretation and because she is gorgeous? as well as emma stone, her character is remarkable. all of them are. that’s the best thing about it: the main characters are women, and men only appear in five scenes or so and less than five minutes. the important character are women, and very powerful women, smart, brave, and algo a little silly like the queen. it’s so realistic.

plus the setting is awesome. it shows how women were treated: like shit, like nothing. they didn’t care about women at all. they hit them, rape them, and it is shown how normal it was. also is very ironic and hilarious, i mean, it’s funny but not because it’s a comedy; it’s made for you to laugh at some parts. the plot is very well treated too. i didn’t get bored and it lasts two hours.

i have tried to organize my thoughts, but it doesnt seem very organized i guess. the thing is: everyone has to watch this film n o w.

9/10

4. her (spike jonze, 2013)

i have wanted to watch this movie for a long time, but i guess i just didn’t find the moment or i didn’t feel like watching it. finally i did.

the idea of falling in love with a machine was something i didn’t know how they were going to treat it. it’s very original i guess because not every day you see someone falling in love with a machine. at first i was like wtf i am going to watch. but i liked it a lot. 

probably what i liked the most is the photography. it tells you the story of theodore and katherine but with flashbacks, and those scenes are so lovely and beautiful. also the quotes are amazing and very deep (and very true). i love how the plot is taken: the developmente of theodore’s love towards samantha is slow but deep and realistic. i swear i almost felt like the one that was falling in love with her was me and not him. 

this is a very nice film and i recommend everyone to watch it.

8/10

5. the grave of the fireflies (isao takahata, 1988)

i didn’t want to watch this film because i didn’t want to suffer. it was horrible, not the film, but the feeling. it is a sad story that shows the worst part of the war. i have to say i thought it was going to be worse, i didn’t even cry. 

6,5/10

[6. the chorus (christophe barratier, 2004)] - los chicos del coro

one of my favourite films ever.

9/10

7. on the basis of sex (mimi leder, 2018)

at first i didn’t expect anything to be honest, but it wasn’t that dissapointing. i thought it was going to be worse, focusing more on liberal feminism. the idea and the intention were good but the result... mmm let me tell you it isn’t.

if the plot was focused on how the protagonist became a lawyer, since the first moment she got in harvard, it would have been a better film. instead it focuses on a case that it’s like wtf????

the message is good, and that’s important, but it could have been better. and this sucks because i dont know anymore how to express myself in english or i dont know.

8. manchester by the sea (kenneth lodergan, 2016)

my cousin recommended me this film because i wanted to cry and she said she cried a lot because of this film at the end.

the story is sad, really sad, and very pessimistic. i dont think there is anything good in this film. it’s so cold? how the plot, the characters interact with each other, is cold. i don’t know. anyway, i really liked it.

7/10

9. billy elliot (stephen daldry, 2000)

if i think about it im still crying. it was so moving, i loved it. i’ve cried a lot and how can you not? mira estoy cansada voy a escribir en español. no me esperaba que me fuese a gustar tanto pero se me rompió el corazón de lo bonita que es y del sentimiento que te deja nada más acabar. casi da ganas de vivir. en serio todo el mundo debería verla. además me alegro mucho de no haber nacido en los años 80 la verdad. 

8/10

10. your name (makoto shinkai, 2016)

netflix la calificaba como “lacrimógena”. bueno. se me cayó alguna lágrima y no fue precisamente en el final. aún así, muy bonita, con unos dibujos preciosos y muy realistas. me ha gustado mucho y acaba bien la historia.

(al final voy a hablar menos en español que en inglés)

7/10

11. little miss sunshine (valerie faris, jonathan dayton; 2006)

the first time i saw this film was in second of ESO when i was 13 i think? i loved it but i didn’t remember almost anything. i was afraid to watching it again knowing i may not like it in the same way. i didn’t like it as it was the first time watching it but i enjoyed it.

6,5/10

12. mamma mia! (phyllida lloyd, 2008)

quisiera poner algo más que “me ha gustado” o “no me ha gustado ha sido una mierda” pero es que de verdad no sé.

sé que es un clásico y he tardado unos cuantos años en verla. no sabía qué esperar pero partía de que a todo el mundo le gusta esta peli así que iba más o menos tranquila. me ha gustado bastante, se pasa rápido el tiempo viéndola aunque todavía siga sin saber quién es el padre.

por cierto encoñada me hallo de amanda seyfried.

7,5/10

13. bridget jones’s diary (sharon maguire, 2001)

tengo una amiga que describe esta película como orgullo y prejuicio pero en el siglo xxi. la verdad es que is kinda like that.

pensé que me iba a reír más y que me gustaría más, la verdad. pero aun así me ha gustado, me ha divertido y entretenido aunque hay escenas para mí algo más flojas que otras. ha estado bien.

6,5/10

[14. juno (jason reitman, 2007)]

i can’t explain how much i love this film, and i dont even know why. it just kinda happened. probably my favourite film? i know the plot isn’t something extraordinary either the photography. i know it isn’t a winning oscar film, but do you think i care? i don’t. it’s special for me, and even i know it isn’t that good, it’s a really good film, and i love it omg. i also love ellen page please marry me.

btw i always cry at the end, i mean, how can you not?

9/10

15. aladdin (guy ritchie, 2019)

i usually dont like this type of films, but the truth is i actually enjoy it.

6/10

16. el autor (manuel martín cuenca, 2017)

la verdad es que me ha gustado bastante, es entretenida y no muy larga, realmente lo único que quieres es saber cómo acaba, así que eso está guay. los personajes dejan mucho que desear, pero tampoco están tan mal.

7/10

17. coco (lee unkrich, adrián molina; 2017)

preciosa película, más que bonita, vaya llorera

8,5/10

[18. harry potter y la piedra filosofal] (chris columbus, 2001)

5/10 (es la que menos me gusta y todavía la quiero)

[19. harry potter y la cámara secreta] (chris columbus, 2002)

6/10 (menos mal que este señor se fue)

[20. harry potter y el prisionero de azkaban] (alfonso cuarón, 2004)

8,5/10 (cinematográficamente increíble)

[21. harry potter y el cáliz de fuego] (mike newell, 2005)

7/10

[22. harry potter y la orden del fénix] (david yates, 2007)

8/10

[23. harry potter y el misterio del príncipe] (david yates, 2009)

9/10

[24. harry potter y las reliquias de la muerte: parte 1] (david yates, 2010)

7,5/10

[25. harry potter y las reliquias de la muerte: parte 2] (david yates, 2011)

7,5/10 (me gustaría más si no fuese el final y eso no me gusta nada.........)

[stoleyourcookies-blog1]

Tell me I’m "nightmareing”...

Ugh, I am so mad right now. So I was watching Bend it Like Beckham, and somehow, I dunno how (I clicked random posts, whatever), I ended up on an article on floh.in about “7 reasons not to marry and Indian woman” (don’t ask). The linked text leads to the article.

Now upon first glance, the article seems rather beautifully worded. It’s like they’re mocking any reason that people would have to not get into a relationship with them. Here are the 7 reasons they gave to “not marry an Indian woman”:

1. She’s gorgeous 2. She’s too colorful 3. She loves her family 4. She’s probably stronger than you 5. She’s independent 6. She’s busy building a career 7. She’s passionate

Now again, the article is worded as though it’s listing bad qualities, but when you look at the actual content, it seems like really positive aspects are put on display! So naturally, I’d assumed it to be a sarcastically written article trying to emphasize that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being in a relationship with them. I was smiling as I read the article. Too bad the smile slipped the moment I reached the comments.

I swear to God, either people are completely stupid or they’re just oblivious to everything and anything around them. Take your pick, but whatever it was, the comments made me mad.

Apparently, either I was the only one who sensed the sarcasm behind the message, or there was no sarcasm at all! But I mean, come on, there is no way that you can turn those seven points into actually negative points, regardless of what description you write. 

So I continued reading the comments. Bad mistake. Shouldn’t have done that. I should’ve just crossed out the tab. But noo, my curiosity left me taking in comment after comment. It left me seething in anger, momentarily forgetting the sarcasm I’d originally thought the article to contain. So then I wrote this comment (I’ve edited out some typos here):

I beg your pardon... which one of these points were negative?? Basically what you're saying is that women should be docile, weak little creatures with no family life and nothing better to do than stay at home and abide to your wishes. Frankly speaking, if that's what you want, you're better off not marrying.

I don't know whether this article is more insulting to women in general or Indians or specifically Indian women, because everything written is so superficial, it's ridiculous. And to be honest, majority of the comments here anger me more than the article itself.

The first thing I want to say to all of you pathetically racist and chauvinistic idiots: Learn English. Honestly, I don't know where you studied, but you'll have to go for linguistic classes again. Your grammar gives me a headache. Sure, Indian women may not be particularly *submissive* (please note that I spat out that word), but at least they know how to spell.

Now, coming to the actual content of the said comments, first, allow me to quote (and perhaps on-the-spot-reply to) some of them:

"te race and accent are creapy and not understandable" - Okay, first of all, what? Everyone else is entitled to their own opinions and you may not be able to understand their accent, but frankly, I can't understand your comment. As for the race being "creapy", I fail to understand how you're generalizing an ENTIRE RACE of people--over one *billion* persons--based off what little, if any, experience you have with them. I could go on blasting you, but there are other comments to get to.

"the mango mussilini says ug 2 Indian Women--UG UG" (by the same person as the previous comment) - Again, what? I've actually never heard this (incorrectly spelt) term (yes, perhaps I do live under a rock), but after googling it, I found out you meant Trump. Now Trump may not be someone who wouldn't be considered racist, but at least he has more tact than this. Thank you for showing everyone how bloody racist you are.

"I am about to marry Indian beautiful girl. But after finding all this in google I start to hesitate...." - WHY TF ARE YOU MARRYING HER IF THIS KIND OF CRAP INFLUENCES YOUR OPINION ON HER?? Honestly, I kinda pity the girl.

"indian women is suck" - Fuck you.

This next one is a bit long, but all of it pisses me off so much:

"Indian women wants money, car, dowry, and a lot of amoutant. Mostly the going strange in European in releationship and in merriages and it doesnt matter how and what money money rules. The are act cheap that the are like big and proud the are not attrative but the think they are.They wants money and dowry and luxe life we need to merried like in the bollywood indian tradition expensive wedding, whaha DJ and included catering with food and strangers family from the girl will benefit from your money, even her friend and farr farr family that you dont even now will benfit from your money

Biggest whores are among India women.

Fuck the milkman, grocer. If DNA testing is among them 80% of the children false.

Indian women drinking most of all women.

This nation is about corpses.

I mind a lot with them and know what I'm talking about.

They come into your home and fuck your husband but you will never notice it.

They are dangerous.

I've only met one who has children with a forest creole, when you see those kids? Beautiful.

She and husband ugly kids but very beautiful.

Indian women are perfect for white guys and for blackguys."

Honestly, I'm speechless. I just don't know what to say, I dunno where to begin. If you "mind a lot with them" why is it that you've only met one? Unfortunately, I have no idea what you mean by "forest creole", but assuming that that's some other derogatory term, that's four races you've insulted in this comment alone. There's (obviously) Indians. Then there's the forest one, "white guys" and "blackguys". Congrats on sending yourself to Tartarus, you prick. Honestly, I'm still stunned, so I won't waste my time pointing out every wrong thing you said in this--which is pretty much everything you said.

At this point, I'm upset enough to not even want to scroll down and copy paste more comments, but let me assure you, there are more.

I'm stunned. To be honest, I thought that humanity was better than this, but the sheer amount of comments here proves me wrong.

You can't generalise an entire society based on the actions of an individual! And all humans are exactly the same, save our sexual preferences, skin colour, and beliefs. Honestly, how can you even think of discriminating someone just because they were born to a particular family?? That's just wrong on so many levels!

And the amount of people who are this narrow minded is astounding. How can you claim to be better than everyone else when you're not even willing to give them a chance? How can you make judgements on people without knowing them?

And I say this, not only for Indians, and not only for women. I say this for everyone. Each and every person in this world deserves to be given a fair and equal chance. They have the right to be treated just the same as everyone else. And you have the duty to treat them that way.

Clearly, my comment is now longer than the original post, so I'll stop here. But please, to all of you visiting this page, I request you to rethink what you say before speaking it. All you’re doing is unnecessarily hurting and discriminating others who wouldn't dream of doing the same to you.

I was just so hopping mad. But honestly, what would you do? Am I the only one who’s slowly losing faith in humanity? I mean, I can’t be. But I thought we were better than this. I hadn’t realised that so many of us failed to understand the simple truth that at the end of the day, we’re all only human. 

We don’t choose who we’re born to, nor do we decide where we’re born, how our skin colour looks, or even who we’re attracted to (if anyone). 

And honestly, even if we could choose, people shouldn’t feel like what they are is wrong. If they were given a choice, they should be perfectly content with picking things which go against society’s expectations. But today, there’s so much discrimination that people actually wish that they’d been born differently. 

What is wrong with us? Is it really that hard to get that everyone is equal??

[smartyrpoetry]

Social Media Marketing The Key To Business Success

Everyone is ready and willing to jump into the world of social media marketing. Using social networking to promote a business can be very rewarding, but it also takes time and efforts. However, there are several basic beginning pieces of info that will help you get on the right path to success.

In order to maximize your social media results, develop links able to join all sites together. Be sure your blog has easy to see links to your Facebook page, your YouTube videos and Twitter. Your Twitter profile should link back to your Facebook profile and blog. These links will help you reach out to a wider audience and the same people will be exposed to your content more than once.

Put social network widgets on your website to help advertise your social media sites. Add a widget to your site that followers can use to easily share your content. In addition, widgets let your readers re-tweet your content instead of having to visit another site to do it.

If you are using social media to promote your product and you have written a blog post, have it posted to your Facebook page as well. This way, everyone that is on your friends list has access to your blog post. The same holds true for other social network sites.

Do not post irrelevant and trivial posts on your social media profiles. Always keep your posts professional and relevant. No one cares that you got a new cell phone, or that you are standing in line at the movies. These trivial posts should be reserved for your own personal profile, not your business profile.

Keep your attitude humble. It doesn’t matter how good your reputation is or how many followers you have, being arrogant or boastful can hurt your image. Make sure you construct your posts so that they acknowledge your followers’ importance. Without them, your business can never be successful.

Try combining social media marketing with email marketing. At the end of your emails, include a Twitter or Facebook link and advise recipients that their questions will receive personal answers when posed on these websites. Tell people to forward your emails so that you can get as many people to see your content as possible.

Remember that when you are using social media to market your business, you are communicating with people, not at them. The technology that people are using now and the way social media is designed is allowing your customers to communicate easier than ever before. You have to engage in this conversation and communicate with your customers in contrast to posting ad copy with a one-sided point of view.

In your social media marketing, give prizes to your milestone likers or followers. Give away gift certificates or interesting things related to your product to your hundredth, thousandth and millionth followers. Not only will this encourage people to subscribe to your content, the winner will rave for a lifetime about how great your particular widget is.

Choose the snippet you post to Facebook about fresh content carefully. You want to create an interesting headline or sentence or two about the new content. When what you post is alluring, it generates more followers. It does this because those who already follow you or have “liked” you on Facebook will be more inclined to share your link with their friends.

One way to increase traffic flow to your site is to run a contest or to give away samples. A lot of people actively hunt freebies, making this an ideal way to drive new traffic to your networking profiles. Decide on what you are going to give away, then visit the popular freebie sites and post the link to where readers can get their freebie.

If your online presence involves any kind of a blog, make sure you update your Facebook page immediately after the blog is updated. This can draw Facebook users to your blog or website, and leaves no lag time between your blog post and garnering attention to it. As soon as you post a blog entry it starts aging, so getting the word out on Facebook immediately takes advantage of the fresh and relevant content.

When posting on Facebook, use the 80/20 rule. This means you should post about 80% relevant information and 20% “just for fun” information. Posting this way makes you feel less like a business, and more like a human. This can be a great thing when it comes to social media marketing.

If an item isn’t important, interesting or relevant, it is not a worthy post. Your business should use Facebook to post only the most useful and intriguing ideas. If you have nothing interesting to say, do not post anything. Share things that you feel are exciting, interesting or factual. Make sure that they are things people will really be interested in knowing. Don’t waste people’s time with pointless quizzes or information-free updates.

These tips won’t help you with absolutely everything, but they’re a good starting point. Because of the nature of social media, it completely changes about every two years. Be ready to keep up! Apply what you’ve learned here to glean more followers and enhance your business.

from I Know Something You Don’t Know http://i-know-something-you-dont-know.com/social-media-marketing-the-key-to-business-success-2/ via Article Source

[2tsrwzsba-blog]

Car insurance claim on injuring a previous injury?

Car insurance claim on injuring a previous injury?

I have been going to a chiropractor for a few weeks as he thinks I have a herniated disk in my lower back. His adjustments seemed to be helping a little bit, but I was recently in a car accident and have aggravated the disk once again. Having been the other driver s fault, will their insurance pay for my future back treatments?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :INSUREQUOTE.US

SOURCES:

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[topreview2016]

The Kidney Stone Removal Report Full Exposed In This Review

One night, I came from church and I was feeling okay, my body felt good, but little did I know what was going inside. In the middle of the night I woke up with some pain, it was terrible, I thought that it was going to go away eventually, but it didnt.

Not knowing what it was or what caused it, I rushed to the hospital. I then found out that I had kidney stones and it took me about 2 -3 days to get the pain to stop after buying medication and going back and forth to the doctor.

But in all of my struggles, if I had known about Joe Barton Kidney Stone home remedy, it would have made a lot of difference and save me some trip to the doctor and by extension some money that I spent.

I am sure there are others like me who have had some experience with kidney stone and hoped for an immediate relief. And, there is the possibility that persons will eventually experience having a kidney stone which is accompanied by its many pains.

However, fret not, there is remedy for you, tested and proven and will work. This is a review of Joe Bartons Kidney Stone Removal Report, which has helped hundreds of persons. Its magical powers is quite unique and it has assisted many persons who had struggled with kidney stone.

What is this remedy all about?

Joe Barton is a medical researcher and blogger who has done extensive research into kidney stone removal. As such, he has written a book that contains a safe and natural home remedy that will dissolve your kidney stone into small, sand-like particles and pass them out without pain free. It works, within hours, but it may take longer depending on the size of your kidney stone.

The best thing about this remedy is that it is natural and does not include any special drug or chemicals that may harm your body. It is quick, safe and will save you thousands of dollars in medical bill or even save your from doing surgeries. It can be completed in your own home, hassle free!

How does it works?

If your order a copy of the Kidney Stone removal Report, you will have access to the secret formula that includes two simple purchases which you can get at your local grocery store. One you have the items in hands.

After you follow Joes simple procedure outlined in the Report, you kidney stone will start to dissolve and you should pass out sand-like particles in your urine within 24-hours. After this, you will then move to the remedy that speak to how to prevent future occurrences of kidney stone.

The ingredients will lead to you drinking about a 2-liter bottles word of common beverage. And after 5 minutes, the Report will have you cooking natural green vegetables which you will blend before eating.

When then happens is that the beverage moved your urinary tract and kidneys and it initiates a chemical reaction which is painless and it cause your kidney stones to dissolves. Its like mixing two chemicals in chemistry class, remember that?

The kidney stones should pass through you urinary tract with ease as it should work in 3-4 hours, it may take longer depending on the side and your biology.

You might be wondering what the purpose of the vegetables is. It is used to flush out the remains of the kidney stones in your system to prevent future occurrences.

Testimonials

You might be skeptical about this remedy, because you may think its too good to be true. Well, it is always good to look at what others said about this remedy.

If you visit the homepage for this Report, you will find countless testimonials of persons who have used this the remedy and has experienced its magical powers.

After all, one of the best way to check if something is as good as it says is the check what others have said about it. So waste not time and check out the many testimonies upon testimonies.

Here is what of the most recent users of the remedy had to say about Joe Bartons Kidney Stone Report

“I saw Joe Barton’s Remedy and figured what could I lose. Well, it saved me another surgery. I used the remedy and passed the stones and sand substance within the 24 hour period. Thank you, this remedy is a miracle!! This miraculous remedy came at the right time. Happy Holidays!!!” – Linda Pehringer

Money Back Guarantee

If you have read the testimonials and decide to try it, then thats the best decision you will ever make. After all, the best way to confirm the magical powers of the remedy is to experience it yourself.

Within that same context, if you have tried it and it didnt work, then you can request your money back and its a guarantee that you will get it. As a matter of fact, customers have even testified about this policy

Here is what a customer said

Dear Joe,

Thanks for your emails and the prompt refund.

I ordered this information/remedy for my 82 year old father. After discussing it with him, he explained that he was afraid to use this remedy because his kidney stone was “too large to pass” according to his physician. They tried “blasting”, which did not work; now they are going to surgically remove the stone.

– Debbie Eason

However, you have 60 days to claim your money back, so you have a 60 days grace period to see its magical powers come to life!

Doctors approval

The report has been extensively reviewed and endorsed by Dr. Scott Saunders. He is a medical doctor with over ten years of research in the field of alternative medicine and nutrition.

He expressed that he is was impressed by how well-researched and comprehensive Bartons Kidney Stone Report was. If you dont believe that he is a real doctor, then you can do your own research and see for yourself.

Conclusion

Joe Bartons is the best natural home remedy that can dissolve your kidney stone and give you a pain free experience. If you are tired of going to the doctor and spending high medical fees to find relieve then waste no time, you need to get a copy of Bartons Kidney Stone Removal Report.

Take advantage of this opportunity, many persons have done it and today they can say that they are kidney stone free. 80% of customers have been satisfied and I encourage you to be named among the statistics.

For Instant Access To The Kidney Stone Removal Report, Click Here

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