#like i gotta prove that im a man with all my might because nobody irl thinks im one

[saltycharacters]

Being multigender really is just struggling to not let people pick one of your genders over another yknow

[resmarted]

here i am again, smashing the crystal vases and good china, ravaging the beautiful dining room and chucking antiques across the room. i want to be done here, i want to be done here! i want to move on, but to what? i can’t remember how to even be a person, i can’t find the light and this tunnel is so dark and endless, we don’t even have headlights to guide us. i came here to bring you on a date in the stylings of nineties classic it takes two starring kirstie alley and the olsens, except instead of mka we are switching them out for young taylor swifts, that’s right two of them, which is all i could think about the entire time i rewatched it again. so here goes nothing, we open on a street corner in philly because this is our version and the ahhccents are gonna be mewr sewth philly than ahhhnything. taylor swift number one, let’s call her taytay the scrappy orphan that has self-professed lousy english like aintcha gonna wanna git ewta here before they catcha? nobody even blinks and in pigtails and a worn out backwards baseball cap on her head, this ten year old who is probably played by an eight year old swift bc coming from a fellow tall person we just sprout from the crib it’s nuts, i’ve always looked older than i was from being tall. so eight year old swift is playing ten year old scrappy orphan taytay who is always chewing gum and has a baseball bat as kirstie alley (YOU.) look out the window and yell at her like, cmahhn tay! you got an appt with the butkis’ and i told u not to get that dress dirty! and tiny taylor chewing gum is like awww cuhmuhhhhhn doi-anne! just lemme knahck this one outta the pawrk first! that’s not the line it’s something else referencing the fact that they’re playing in the middle of the street of their inner city neighborhood. she is the pretty white girl of the orphanage so it makes no sense she hasn’t been adopted but is of course the star athlete of the kids and favorite of the social worker you-kirstie alley. she is accosted by kids and called a reject and lil taytay’s all why i awwwghta! she’s making her best >:| face, and pop goes the weasel she hits the ball and probably breaks a window or something and as she runs to the cab the kids are like, the butkis ppl are creeps that collect kids! and taytay is tayrrified before threatening the other kids with her fists in the air as the cab drives away. cut to a close up of a nineties cellphone and private plane landing, and taylor number two is wearing a practical pantsuit in beige and just won another piano competition, and she overpronounces all of her t’s at the end of her words. let’s call her fancita. yes i’m serious, i’m already so tired and bored of this story, it was way more exciting after rewatching the other night. whatever this story is just a remix of the parent trap anyway and that’s why we have two baby swifts and don’t ask me why, don’t ask me why i’ve taken you this far down the rabbithole but let’s just keep going until we find each other. so fancita is an aristocratic princess that plays tennis and i don’t know, i’m just trying to get to the part where they are like omg let’s get this social worker and rich man who has a cell phone company before that’s even a thing, and while orphan taytay is in danger of becoming the next adopted butkis - which in this version is just straight up trafficking ring i mean come on, they were pedos and it was heavily insinuated in the movie, but basically she’s in danger of being adopted into an abusive hellhole and fancitay is like hey girl hey! when her butler arrives to pick her up from her private jet. the nineties always portrayed wealth with these long ridiculous limos and british butler limo drivers, which as we now all know rich people are just driven in cars w tinted windows and the only people riding in limos are seniors in high school, but i digress. she meets her new soon-to-be stepmother, also played by taylor swift, present day style. she’s all, when i was your age i had already been through three stepmothers, you’ll be in a tibetan boarding school as soon as the wedding is over tomorrow! for this she is in her satanic red high priestess dress from lwymmd, golden snake rings at all. actually let’s just say at some point she’s bathing in diamonds as well, i mean there are many versions of her current snake-embraced image that we can use for this but that’s not the point, it is that im not even in love with grown taylor swift! i am just trying to fill the void of my dead wife who loved children and built a camp conveniently across from the literal castle we live in. i haven’t been there since, pushes back hair like sigh, since she died ten years ago right after fancitay was born. i’m all, cell phones, i hate the damn things. back when i invested in them everyone thought it was just something out of star trek and now i’m a lonely billionaire marrying snake taylor in a haze of confusion and thinking that’s what i should do, fancita needs a mother after all. you’re a tough talking protective mama bear that wants to adopt orphan taytay but you’re just a social worker and what? the butkis’ already had the paperwork go through to adopt her?? i come to find you after a failed horse meetup planted by the taylor twins to apologize for leaving you to get yelled at by steptaylor, and you’re like look keep your fancy cell phone company lifestyle and keep it moving, bucko! in the movie they get into a food fight but i’m not trying to go that deep, but basically we fight until you, an enraged four foot two version of kirstie alley okay you’re actually just a tiny goth and i’m a clumsy ogre, that part never changes. you push me with all your might, not necessary trying to push me into the river but it happens and i’m all, oh my god i feel like a kid again! this must be love! okay but seriously, that part’s the realest. i do feel like a kid again, and this must be love, mustn’t it? what will our tiny taylors tell us? we don’t know what it is or why, but it makes sense because we feel it, i can feel you. even when you say to your fellow social worker friend (played by your bandmate and beloved drummer) guys like that only date girls with food names like candy or muffin or cookie, and princess taylor disguised as orphan taylor turns around from her archery practice, greatly offended and snapping back, his dead wife was a teacher that loved kids and built this camp and she wasn’t a food her name was kathy with a k played by kourtney in a brief shot of her glamorously in a casket but dripping in jewels and hands delicately crossed over her chest. whatever, goth kourtney fantasies are not the point ok i know that. you look at princess taylor disguised as pauper taylor and are like well excuse me jeez, you don’t gotta bully me over it. sigh so then the state comes for her and accidentally send my daughter to some terrifying child sex ring that nightmares are made of and turned into dateline episodes, and this one is no less horrifying. orphan taylor shows the butler various scars and marks and bruises to show that she’s a fraudulent child that happens to just be another cute blonde that adults didn’t look closely enough at and notice bc they aren’t actually twins in this story, they’re just strangers that look alike. which honestly is prob when they first really started making the olsens insane irl like, pitting them against each other by pointing out fraternal differences and how one was the cute one the other was just the sister oh, don’t even get me started, dear. steptaylor comes home with ultra long extensions like repunzel after sneaky orphan taylor put gum in her hair. the original she gets it all cut off and suddenly her loss of beauty is signified by a short haircut which is so dumb and we just can’t agree with something so stupid, so in this she comes back with thousands of dollars worth of hair that isn’t hers just to prove her worth and appeal, which honestly is much sadder than a short sassy do any day. we get to the home of the butkis’ but no one answers and a neighbor who in the actual movie looks exactly like mike, like no shit just put a bass on him and it’s like every dude in a band probably but him specifically - unless i hallucinated it, the point is! he originally says oh that guy works those kids into the ground at the factory all day, or something like that, but in this version maybe he just shudders bc everyone just gets the pervy vibe from this butkis guy. the door gets kicked in as they are just about to initiate her into the butkis cult of abuse, and i don’t know i think it just ends with like, kirstie alley and the dad kissing? like they don’t get married or anything i don’t think. which leaves so many questions open like, if they do end up getting married, will the taylors become friends? will fancita resent taytay for taking up space and attention away? or will she be so grateful for good mother that everything will be fine and normal and fall into place? it seems like they’re all destined to end up on doctor phil. i mean, what happens when this bonehead (me) doesn’t continue to invest properly and his dumb luck cell phone business inevitably plummets because by the late nineties they’re a dime a dozen and each one is a sinking ship. what happens when they go bankrupt and all have to be poor, will they stay together? will princess taylor be like this is all your fault you’re bad luck with your poor people vibes! bc she can’t understand the crashing economy and how this is just what happens to people, one day you can be rich and the next totally broke, and it’s not really anyone’s fault. are you going to still love me even though i am horrible at saving money is what i’m asking? like, can you just quietly move money around in my accounts for me and put stuff in my savings when i’m not looking? because if i see literally any extra change i’m going to be like time to go eat giant cheeseburgers and drink ourselves into a coma! i got a groupon for a hotel stay in florida, let’s road trip! i know what your biggest concern is besides money and it’s because i know you like the back of my head (not at all), but the answer is no, steptaylor drowns in a sea of snakes at some point because i don’t have time for a decent end for her. i feel like it should be more feminist, like maybe she gets a job slinging mary kay and in the process realizes not only is she a boss at making her own income but that she doesn’t even need the amount of makeup she had been using before. she has like her own spiritual journey in the background somewhere far, far away from us and our super exclusive love, as well as our twin daughters taylor one and taylor two. i have completely forgotten their names by now but i’m just here to see if you even still love me. well? do you??? i’m just trying to prepare you for when i’m like, starting every other sentence with “you know when my wife died…” at really inappropriate times like, to a cashier in the checkout line or just in bed when we are having a romantic evening that i was bound to spoil in one way or another, so it may as well be with dead wife talk. you will probably just laugh and attempt to smother me with a pillow for being so, so embarrassing. i miss you i love you i hate you i don’t know you. i want you. do i ever even say anything else anymore? i mean it is halloween season so technically i don’t have to be original, right? you are the only ghost i could ever truly love, and that’s saying a lot seeing as how i arrived to this world haunted. pls tho, don’t ever stop being my best boo.

[survivormuxloe]

Episode #7: “david smokes WEED. thats his personality in a nutshell.” - Scott

this merge is TEA!!! like honestly i have no idea what i'm gonna do because i actually have so many things i can do in this merge... like i have the choice of realigning with my old tribe or jumping on the other side with some of the others like.... this is exciting!!

MERGE, MOTHEREFFERSSSS. Man, what a time to be alive. Not only did Danielle and Michael survive their tribal, but the original Mercia has now come into the merge with numbers. Beneficial at first, but eventually they all gotta go, haha.

Right now, I'm sitting pretty with two major alliances, both of them have Felix in them as well. The one with Danielle and Michael and the one with Ahrre. Combining these two alliances will be beneficial to me, as well as continuing my social connections with Mo and Tobi. Tobi is a target for me, cuz I know how well liked he can be, so I have to get him before he gets me.

As far as this first immunity challenge, I wanna win to make a statement. I wanna show everyone that I am a fierce competitor in all aspects of the game. And as far as the vote goes, I'm hoping we can get an original Sweyn out. Don't know who yet, but we will have to see based on these challenge results.

Merged? This early WHAT. (Malik was fukin robbed)

Lowkey am nervous, while I dont want to play tribal lines as I think thats boring. I dont want to assume it wont happen. Im in the minority tribe so its something I have to be cautious of. I have to try to branch out to new people and start something soon to put myself into a powerful positon.

Ryan, Jones and Tobi are all good with me from my old tribe. So is Scott from the first tribe. I think this could easily work aswell, as I think Scott is close to ryan and tobi, and maybe if im not mistaken Jones aswell. So this is an easy platform to start from.

However if im honest. I dont think im anyones 1st choice in that allaince. Malik was the only person I knew they had my back. So im going to try to play the line of being inbetween for the first couple of rounds so i can get a solid footing.

WOOO, I MADE THE MERGE. This is the best thing bc now i have options now and im not limited. It seems that it will devolve into a tribal game which i dont want to happen but ill just go with the flow.

okay so hi we MERGED! WHICH WAS MY BIGGEST FUCKING WORRY BC its 7-5 mercia-sweyn now.. and missus david already trying to get mercia to stick together on og lines 24 hrs in.. LMAOOO. like when has that ever fucking worked out saying that dumbass.

like the tea is.. nobody on sweyn is close to wes so its basically 8-4. but i have tobi + michael to make it 6-6.. and im working on mo/ahrre rn just so that they wouldn't personally vote me bc i need to limit the targets so if we need to use ryans idol we can lol.

i still dk how to feel ab dani tho. i feel as if she could play both sides really effectively and thats scary af.. it's just tellin people what they wanna hear to prove im with them and getting them to keep quiet hehe LAMFJNHFBFG

david/wes are the primary targets to go first for me tho. and hopefully i win immunity so my ass aint grass lol

Ayee it's mergeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

So malik is dead and I'm back with all the lads from my og tribe, and I've been getting to know the guys from the other tribe. So scott flipped on Malik last week because it seems that Michael is close to him. Michael already told me David is all about keeping things Mercia strong and he's not feeling it that much, as for me I have no reason to target anyone so I'm gonna lay back and keep my options open.

Unfortunately the I couldn't find the Mercia idol so someone else probably has it I think. However my alliance with Felix and David is still pretty useful because now we're working on getting the merge idol, hopefully we'll get there before anyone else.

As far as the challenge goes the wikipedia search is always fun but I won't try superhard, it might be risky but I would rather be vulnerable these first couple votes instead of making myself a challenge threat.

Oh also the name of the tribe is Kirby, the best smash brothers character, so that's nice

david smokes WEED. thats his personality in a nutshell. cant wait 4 him to leave.

we merged <3__<3 i'm happy. i'm not playing a good game at the moment but i'm here bitch. i'm seemingly in a minority 7 to 5 based on og tribes but i'm not sure if that's strict or not. Scott told me Michael told him that David said he wants og Mercia to stick together... but why would Michael say this to Scott lol idk. I think there are cracks but I'm not going out of my way to find them right now....

also right when we merged, Scott mentioned to me that Jones told him the idol was found... which is funny lol she ran right to him at merge, and has never mentioned idol searching to me. Not surprised or suspicious at all, but noteworthy

omfg you know what's weird.... right after i sent the last confessional i get a pm from Jones and she just brought up how she knows the idol is gonefkadhfasd is she psychic

Hiiii, okay so didn't come close to winning immunity, LOL. But honestly that's actually okay with me. People will probably start to see me less as a physical threat.

Right now, Michael and I are working towards getting Wes out, and then Mo next. Tribe lines are still very much there at least from my perspective, which is better for me cuz I'll always have many options on who to take out.

I have a lot to talk about so I'm just gonna write a whole ass ESSAY IN THIS BITCH (something minor but cute) I CAME UP WITH THE TRIBE NAME!! It's perfect since the color scheme is pink, it's "Kirby Muxloe Castle", AND Kirby is just a pleasant video game character?? I loved it, the tribe loved it, and even if they didn't, AJ picked it anyway! SOOOOO,, life is swell in this chilis tonight,, RN everyone on the merge tribe seems p chill! I've talked with mostly all of them, so I feel like I can give my opinions? I adore Mo and Michael since they're my irl friends obviously,, but I'd love to actually work with them in game more yk? I've only said hi to Felix, but he seems nice. David is a comp threat and apparently he's already thinking about staying Mercia strong like,,,ok bud. Dani seems like a mess btw - A FUN MESS, but we told her twice that the immunity challenge was out and she was still like ????? oh wow???? she seems neat though. ALSO I LOST IMMUNITY. BY A FUCKING LOT. seriously how the fuck does someone get 3 for each wiki link like ???? I'm convinced Rhys is a wizard. Thank god one of my allies is a wizard. Scooty tried making me feel better by telling me I did better than the abstainers like :^) thanks king! um but yeah, it seems like right now the name everyone's throwing out is Wes and I'm totally fine with that - wes hasn't talked to me since we got back together and has proven that he's a challenge threat yk? so yeah, that's my life rn, I'll probably spam the hosts with more confessionals in a few minutes so you're welcome <3

Ok so I just got off a call with Felix and it seems that everyone is voting for Wes which I’m fine with because it isn’t me. BUT. David was the one who threw Wes’s name out to begin with and as we’ve known previously David dropped my name first the round Jose was eliminated and David also immediately threw my name out to Felix during the puzzle round like “If we go home because of Mo we’re voting him out” meanwhile we were on a team with Wes, him being the only person from another tribe on the second Mercia so we know he’s not loyal. So my concern is that next round unless I’m immune, my name will be the first name he drops. I don’t want that and neither does Felix. So Felix is going to talk to some people about voting David out next round and I’m going to talk to Jones about it. I’m close friends with Jones and I know she won’t talk about our conversation to anyone. So if the plan backfires and someone tells David that we’re trying to backdoor him. They’ll tell him that it was Felix who dropped his name thus he’ll probably want him gone over me. I know that’s shady of me but I’m still allied with him and I wouldn’t betray him but it’s more of a last resort plan ahead of time if that makes sense.

i've been quiet for the first few days of merge and just letting people come to my pm's and chatting with them and i think it;s working out rly well for me, i'm laying low and don't think i'm a target... apparently Wes is the prominent plan going around and i haven't heard anything else. Felix messaged me for the first time and we talked for a lil and then he realized who I really was and that was funny fsdjkf. Then he brought up how he thinks David is arrogant and a threat, and how he's preaching to keep Mercia strong.. and he wants to blindside him next round after Wes leaves. wig? i'm down sis lmfao. He was like "I have Mo, who you got?" and i mean idk why my 3 other ppl from Sweyn wouldn't go for that as well, so bam.

but i'm not gonna run to everyone and start initiating that shit bc it aint necessary. i did mention it to Jones on the sly though just bc we were chatting anyway and idk it doesn't hurt to share some tea sometimes lol.

so tribal is Looming. uhm. as far as i know wes is the target by like EVERYONE lmaoo i thought mercia 2.0 was gunna keep him around but nope.. little do they know OG sweyn dont give a shit ab him

and then missus felix goin around saying david is next after wes? bold move cotton lets see if it pays off lol liek we aint even done with this tribal.. and his ass is def gunna overplay doin it WATCH

luckily for me i have michael tellin me everythn.. i have jones who trusts me and we are gunna work with mo.. ryan rhys and tobi all love me. thats at least 6 ppl who have my back so thats 7 votes on my side so.. im kinda untouchable atm and if anyone tried to come for me id know LANDKDNG

ig my hitlist rn is wes > david > dani > felix tbh but thats just tea

These birches. They tried to beat me. But this bitch outsold. I won immunity. Lowkey only tried to win it cause I thought there was a reward and there wasn’t whoops. I also probably only won because I knew what to look for in the challenge cause I’m English.

Anyway this tribal is kinda boring. Like I woke up to the plan being solid and set, on Wes. Which worries me, if this is reoccurring that the plan is sorted when I’m asleep I’m gonna be a goat. This can’t happen.

So I’m told Wes is this vote and next vote is David. Which I’m happy about. As Wes is a goat it seems due to his terrible social game. Which if he stays he would be used as a space which makes it harder for me to stay and set up a winning game. David is someone who probably wouldn’t work with me, so that benefits me him being gone. However i need to make sure I’m 100% safe this next round and the one after. So I need to work on my connections outside people I knew before merge and make an alliance.

Im VERY nervous about this vote i havent been as active as Id like this round so I could be in HUgE trouble let me talk to people and figure out how screwed I am

Working together is for sure the smartest option just to get that damned idol two heads are after all better than one so me and Scott are gonna have that idol. To me the vote is pretty clearly on Wes I’ve heard no opposition and I can’t see anything changing in 3 hours but I’m gonna keep an eye out because who know what will happen.

uhm so. mercia stayin silent in my dms. gr8. :)

im always nerv that im gunna be blindsided but its impossible rn i think ? bc ryan/rhys/jones dont vote me.. tobi wouldnt.. and michael wouldnt.. so itd be 6-6 at best if it was to come down to it. and i feel as if id hear it by now LAMFHNBG

idk i just hate these mercia ppl.. theyre so dry n awful. can og sweyn - wes just be the f4 pls?

Ok so I MERGED and i was so shook because it happened all so fast. This game is flying by for me. I had to abstain from the challenge because I was still on vacation. I’m trying the best I can to stay active and shit but I’m finally home. Wes is gonna be an easy vote this week since everyone says he isnt active and shit LMFAO  

Wes is voted out 10-1-1.