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imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl · 4 years ago

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The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 05 of 18)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.8K

Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...

As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?

<- Previous part (04)

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{Stranger Things Masterlist}

Would You Believe Me?

“When are you planning to tell me about this Billy?” Diane stands by the kitchen door frame, an eyebrow raised at you.

Taking another bite of your apple, you roll your eyes. “He's just a friend. I have nothing to say.”

“I know you, (Y/N). And I know you've been hanging out with him.” She comes to sit across from you at the table, and you feel like a child under her stare. Diane has always been your best adviser, the one you tell everything since you can remember. But you couldn't bring yourself to tell her about Billy yet. With Monica, you don't have a choice since you work with her, and she has been around when some stuff happened. But with Diane... You feel like it'll make things real.

You're just about to deny everything again when you remember how confused you are, how there's always a fight inside of you, between two different lines of thought, and suddenly you need Diane's opinion on it. “Billy is a friend.” It's different now, you're admitting it. “He... He offered me a ride home when my car wouldn't start and we stopped to eat tacos. A couple of days after he stopped by this snack bar I was with Monica's friends and... Well, he punched David in the face because he called me dumb.” The memory brings a smile to your lips.

“What?” My aunt smiles too. “I heard some kids talking about David being beat up but I'd never guess that. What else?”

“Uhm... He said he likes me that day.”

“Oh...” She mumbles, furrowing her eyebrows. “So Billy is interested in you.”

Shaking your head slightly, you look down. “He's as interested as he would be in any other girl, right?” Your voice is lower now. “Aunt, Billy is the perfect bad boy. He has the looks, the attitudes, the pretty face, the breathtaking body, and the long list of heartbroken girls.”

“Honey, haven't you heard?” Diane keeps her voice light, taking your hand over the table. “They say the perfect bad boy is bad with everyone except to his girl.”

“Well, I'm not his girl,” you mutter, not sure why saying this makes you feel sad. You shouldn't be so sad about something that's true, something that you made up your mind about. “We're bound to break apart.”

“(Y/N), you're a smart woman. You can read the signs and I trust you to choose what's best for you, as you always have. Even when it meant to leave New York behind and come to such a strange place.” Her eyes are like beacons, reassuring you. You wish she was your mother instead of Kate. “You'll know if you're meant to be with Billy or not. I trust you enough for that, as should you.”

“I love you, aunt.” You breathe out, standing up and hugging her. “Thank you... And not only for this, but for everything. For taking me in and for moving here with me.”

“It was a pleasure, honey. Both to come back to my hometown and to be with you.” Diane never had kids, and her husband died eight years ago. She's still young though, and you hope she finds someone. But until then, you're ok with being somehow her kid. “Now I gotta go. Have a nice day at work.”

“You too.”

Half an hour later you're at the pool, on your chair, eyes scanning the sea of people. The sun is shining bright, and the kids seem especially electrified today. Despite having a lot of people to watch over, you're getting bored by the second, finally understanding why Monica sometimes complains so much about this job.

Billy, as usual, keeps shooting you glances every now and then, winking and smiling when you look his way. After rolling your eyes at him for the hundredth time this morning, you turn your gaze at Monica, who has a meaningful smile on her lips. You get the feeling she'll never stop teasing you about it. Well, she will have to one day. 'We're bound to break', the sentence comes to your mind again, and you decide to let the hot wind blow it away. Mon has a weird expression on her face, which makes you furrow my eyebrows at her.

She then gestures at her eyes. 'Look', you read the word on her lips, just before she gestures at Billy.

That again. You don't want to stare at him. You know he's hot, you don't need to be constantly reminded of that. Running a hand through your hair, you force yourself to focus on the activity that gives you some money at the end of the month. You're not bored anymore, you're thankful you have something to keep your mind off things you certainly shouldn't be thinking about.

When your lunch break finally comes, you jump from your chair to the ground, making the way over Monica, touching her leg. “Hey, you. Lunch, c'mon. I'm starving.”

“I'm a good friend.” She simply says, not even bothering to look at you. Monica can be a freaking interrogation sign sometimes, and you're about to ask her what she means when you notice Billy, standing a few feet away. “I switched my lunch breaks with him.” She looks down, taking her sunglasses off. “You're welcome.”

“I hate you, Mon,” you mumble, sighing at the laugh that leaves her lips.

You have no choice but to walk towards Billy, trying to keep your eyes on his face. But you use the distance to take a quick look, just so you can tell Mon you did it and she'll stop bugging you about it. He's tall, obviously, way taller than you. So you have to look up not to have your eyes glued on his chest. The guy works out. A damn lot, you're sure, and his tan is perfect. It makes you wonder if he even tries because it doesn't seem like he does. Billy doesn't have to act, he just is who he is. No doubt why he had no trouble carrying that heavy backpack during the trail, his muscles look like stone, iron. Even though the small distance you can see how his chest moves when he breathes, and the well-defined muscles of his bare arms. But you're getting close now, so you avert your eyes.

“Was it your idea or hers?” You inquire as soon as you're walking side by side to the cafeteria.

“Mine. I asked her this morning and she accepted.” As you walk, you notice all the heads turning.

The boys look with either anger or envy, and the girls keep checking him out shamelessly. Even the married ladies don't seem to hide the lust in their eyes. You feel a little weird, suddenly so small and out of place. But you can't blame them. Billy is a hell of a view. “You ok?” He suddenly asks. “You tuned out for a moment.”

“Just thinking.” You reach the cafeteria and you get your lunch from the fridge, moving to the microwave.

“About what?”

“The stares you were getting while we walked over here.” It comes out abruptly, and you realize you're angry. Why are you angry? You can't be mad because people are staring, he's not yours.

“People always stare.” He says, coming to seat with you on the table next to the microwave. “But today is for a different reason.”

“Oh, of course.” You avoid his eyes, letting your hair down from the ponytail and detangling it with your fingers, just so you have something to do.

“You only notice half of what's going on around you.” You mumble as a response, not sure if there's anything else you can say. “I never spent this much time without going on dates, and I never spent this much time hanging out with the same girl.” Billy's lower voice slowly makes you raise your eyes, meeting his. “People are impressed. I am impressed.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It's been a while and I still want to be around you, to get to know you.” As he speaks, you look at the door, because you don't want anyone listening. It's bad enough that you'll end up telling Monica, which only makes you even more confused. You don't need someone else adding up to the mix.

'We're bound to break'. It comes to your head again. “How long do you think it'll last? You know you'll get tired of this little game you're playing, Billy.”

“From the bottom of my heart... I don't think I could ever get tired of you.”

The sudden beeps of the microwave make you jump up, thankful for it breaking through the atmosphere. You get your food and hand Billy his since he shoved it into the microwave with yours.

“Every time I see you it's like the first damn time. It took me by surprise too, believe me.”

“Just eat, Billy. Or it'll get cold.” A stupid thing to say since there's smoke coming from both your meals.

“If I find a way to prove you I'm not joking, that I mean every word I say when I say you're nothing like the other girls, that I'm being serious this time... Would you believe me?”

Holy shit, you need to get the hell out of this cafeteria. You don't want to listen, you want to be left alone until whatever is driving you towards Billy disappears. But can you do that? Stand up and walk away when you're right here with him, nobody else around... You don't think so. “I'd like to see what you would come up with.”

He takes a deep breath, resting his back against the chair. You can only watch as he takes one of his earrings off, doing the same with his necklace. “The hell are you doing, Hargrove?” You mumble, crossing your arms.

He gives a quick glance before focusing on whatever he's doing. He removes the pendant of the necklace, throwing it on the trash next to the fridge. You raise an eyebrow, your hunger momentarily put aside. Billy passes the silver chain through the tiny hoop of his earring, making a whole new necklace. The earring is kinda nice, and it looks badass on him. It has four black little stones and a metal piece at the end, which reminds you a claw.

Your eyes follow him as he stands up, walking around the table to stand behind you. You were just about to ask what he's doing when he puts the necklace around your neck. “Move your hair up, please.”

With wide eyes fixed on the light green wall across the cafeteria, you do as he says, feeling the cold metal against your skin. You're even more confused now. “Wear this every day, and I'll wear mine every day too.”

“Is it... Is it supposed to make people think I belong to you or something?” You burst out, still a little shocked, a little perplexed, trying to control the butterflies on your stomach.

“Then they'll think I belong to you too.”

“Just-just eat, Billy. Please.” You stutter, looking down at your food as your heart drums on your ears.

“And I making you nervous?”

Biting back a smile, you don't answer. You quickly search through your mind for anything else, just so you can change the subject. “I heard you study at Indianapolis University. The same I happen to have transferred to. Which course do you take?” That's good. You got your mind to function.

“Mechanical engineering.” He shrugs his shoulders when you raise your eyebrows. “I always liked cars, so it wasn't a difficult choice. What about you?”

“Biomedicine. I'm planning on specializing in Hematology and get a job on Hawkins National Hematology Lab.”

“So you plan on staying here?”

“Yes. I came to stay.”

There's a change in his expression, as it softens like he just realized something new about himself. A small, genuine smile breaks into his lips, beautiful lips. You were just about to ask what's on his mind when James, another lifeguard comes into the cafeteria and you decide to keep your mouth shut.

•••

When you walk out of the bathroom, still drying your hair with a towel, your eyes fall on the necklace lying on the nightstand, near your telephone. Sitting on the bed, you touch the earring, wondering if Billy is wearing his now. “What's happening to me?” You breathe out, throwing yourself down on the bed.

Your phone starts ringing, but you don't pick up. You know Diane will answer it downstairs. You hear her low voice coming from the living room, your eyes on the ceiling, and your thoughts revolving around him again.

Him.

You don't even need a name, he's the only guy you think about.

“Honey! It's Monica!” Your aunt yells.

“I'll pick up!” You shout back, moving up just to pick up the phone before lying down again. “Hi, Mom.” You hear the sound of the downstairs phone being put down as you speak.

“So. How was it?”

“Uhm... It was a lunch break. We had our breaks together and we had lunch.”

“Seriously? That was it? Don't you think I noticed something very unusual around your neck when you came out?”

Sighing, you let out a humorless laugh. Monica is very perceptive, the reason why she's coursing psychology. She's always paying attention to everything. “Mon...” It's almost like a cry.

“Talk to me, (Y/N).”

“I can't keep doing this.” You cover your eyes with one hand, and the image that immediately comes to my mind is him. “I'm... Scared.”

“What happened in the lunch break?”

“Billy said stuff, you know... That he won't get tired of me, that still wants to be around me...” Tossing around, you hug a pillow. “He took one of his earrings and made it into a necklace... He gave me and told me to wear it every day because he will wear it too.”

“(Y/N), I think Billy is falling in love with you.”

“No, Mon, I–”

“I've seen how he treats girls, (Y/N). He never acted like that. All day long I see them walking around the pool in the tiniest bikinis they have, but he never looks. He used to devour them with his eyes, but since that Monday, when you started working... His eyes are on you, on such a... Kind way. It's like he's someone else entirely.”

“I want to believe you,” you whisper, eyes focusing on the necklace. “What if we're bound to break?”

“Give yourself time, then. And give you both a chance. (Y/N), you need to stop overthinking and enjoy your summer. If you're bound to break, you'll know. But for now, enjoy the attention he's giving you. And if it doesn't work, at least you would have enjoyed it... I mean, you like being around him, don't you?”

“Way more than I should.”

“Then try living in the moment for a while. When it's time to think and make big decisions, you will make them.”

Nodding to yourself, you know she's right. If you keep overthinking, maybe you'll be the one to ruin everything. “You're right...”

“Now, you can either stay there or come with me, Chris and Jason to the mall. What will it be?”

Smiling, you stand up, already moving to chose what to wear.

An hour later you're at Starcourt Mall, completely reformed about a year ago, Monica tells you, after it was destroyed by an explosion. The place is very modern, but it's still very different from those in New York. But you like it, how lit up it is, and crowded. Families, teenagers, and kids, who pass by, running. You take in the lights, the laughers. Monica laughs at something Christopher says, his arms around her shoulders. Jason had to bring his two toddler siblings, so he's walking a few feets away, carrying the two years old Michael on his arms and holding Melanie's hand, who's the five years old.

“Hey. Have you crossed paths with David? After he had his ass kicked?” Chris asks.

“No. And I hope it remains that way.”

“It's a small town, you'll bump into him eventually. But I think he won't bother you anymore.” He says and Monica nods.

“Yeah...”

“You and Billy dating yet?” Jason asks, making it clear he was paying attention.

“Not yet,” Monica answers before you can say anything. Rolling your eyes, you decide not to say argue.

Blushing a little, you touch Billy's earring around your neck. A smile comes to your lips, and you hope he'll be wearing his tomorrow... It's stupid, but it kinda makes you feel closer to him, even though he's not here.

You decide to follow Monica's advice, but you'll still be careful. You can do both.

@chloe-skywalker @dpaccione @tilesandtokens

#imagine billy hargrove #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy stranger things #stranger things imagine #imagine stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x reader

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freebooter4ever · 4 years ago

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Hello I just finished the Pacific and I'm dying. So it's time for me to delve into the fandom and try and fulfil my poor sledgefu heart. Have any recommendations on who's blog to look at or tags? Other than yourself because I most certainly will spend a solid 5 hours going through your tags. I've already seen a lot of your art and I think it's beautiful, just an FYI.

Oh boy do I ever have recs! It was only about a year ago that I was new to the fandom myself and slowly going through @aboutthatmelancholystorm and @persipneiwrites tumblr sledgefu tags every night, reading all of it, and being totally sucked in! ^_^ (I especially suggest Persipnei’s 3:16 AU where Sledge and Snafu are rock stars!) As for art, I think the biggest collection I know of is the blog @marines-r-gay. Some of my favorite sledgefu artist blogs include @skelesocks (Ace Eugene will hold a special place in my heart forever!) @badgerms and my old favorite the-heebiejeebies who sadly disappeared and deleted their blog :( but you can still find their old art in my ‘sledgefu’ tag on my blog like here. There’s no really ‘exculsively’ sledgefu artists out there right now, but there is a LOT of amazing older stuff to be found mixed into people’s blogs! My own art/writing sledgefu masterlist can be found here.

More specific fanfic recs under the cut! I’m focusing on oldies, because I think it’s fairly easy to find the newer ones on AO3 that are still being updated ^_^

Not Quite Home by Seabright - A fix it fic that really fixes things. Post war set in New Orleans with Eugene showing up on Snafu’s doorstep. Snafu is cantankerous and very in character and he /claims/ he can’t ‘fix’ Sledge, but let’s face it that’s why they need to fix each other. Snafu has a lot of walls up and Eugene breaks all of them down in his steadfast way. This fic captures Snafu perfectly - even in little things like in the way he fidgets and moves. Also the last kiss is just...SO good.

Canon Compliant

Roadverse by Seabright - There are a few authors exclusively on AO3 that like...if you haven’t read their entire sledgefu collection yet, you gotta! Seabright is one of them. Roadverse is set after the war and Snafu takes Eugene on a roadtrip to Florida, there’s a lot of introspection, they fall in love, definitely a happy ending! The writing here is what really shines.

After The Happy Ending by Handdaddyhoosier - Another author it’s worth reading their entire sledgefu collection. This one is also set after the war and is more domestic. A lot of fluff, a lot of slice of life, a lot of Sledge and Snafu dealing with homophobia and overcoming it (!!). Through it all Snafu and Eugene remain sooooo much in love that they’re stronger together and...yeah...it’s good.

Christmas Even Will Find Me by SOMETHINREAL - My favorite canon compliant Sledgefu Christmas fic! It’s just perfect! Everybody is all together again after the war for Christmas and Eugene and Snafu are playing their own little dance between each other in the corner...they’re adorable. Plus there’s a happy ending!

Maybe You’ll Think Of Me When You’re All Alone by SOMETHINREAL - A very very good fix it fic for after the war. They’re both broken but they’re together and falling in love all over again, yay! I live for first pining and emotional kiss scenes and this is one of the best!

These Foolish Things Remind Me of You by Spoondragon - Merriell is quirky and weird and collects things and his last line in the fic is gOLD. Basically them being cute, with a first kiss. I highly rec ALL of spoondragon’s sledgefu fics!

To Make Much of Time by Hueligan - FIX THE TRAIN SCENE. I will read almost any variation of that train scene where Snafu makes it right, and this one does! AND THEN RUINS IT. So fair warning, you will fall in love with this fic but then it will break your heart. Kinda like Snafu. But it’s ok cause then you can go read one of the OTHER many fix it fics and mend it again.

Tilled Earth by Killerqueenie - Okay, this is one of my absolute FAVORITES. Snafu finds Eugene playing farmer boy in a small town outside of Mobile ten years after the war and Snafu signs himself on as a ranch hand. This one ACTUALLY fixes the train scene. Eugene is prickly and untrusting and Snafu has to earn his right to waltz back into his life. And oh gosh the love each other so so much!

The Magic Helmet by jspringsteen - Cute adorable and totally in character, canon compliant and not actually sledgefu except for some delightful hints that they are into each other more than they let on. It’s just such a great moment for Snafu’s character that I’ve reread this on multiple occasions.

All You Got by ssstrychnine - Another fix it fic (I know, I love these). This follows canon so well it’s seamless and only adds subtle touches of love between Gene and Snafu - so very believable as a part of the actual show. This author has four fics on AO3 for sledgefu and I suggest reading them all!

The Jazz Lights of New Orleans by Gracefully - Yet ANOTHER fix it fic! Give me them all!!!

Like It’s Only You And Me by SJTrinity - Snafu is an artist in this so of course I’m going to biased, but this is one of my absolute favorite college AU’s. All our favorite characters are there, including Bill, Burgie, Andy, and Eddie (and even Pops! as a fatherly figure to Snafu though he’s only referenced). Snafu is as chaotic as ever. The romance is hot! There are parts where I almost bust a gut laughing. Also anytime Eugene gets all haughty and bossy with his little furrowed brow over Snafu that’s like A+ for me.

Learning Curve by Seabright - ok THIS fic defines ultimate pining over Gene for me. I have never related to Snafu more. There’s a description of Eugene swimming in a pool that just..yeah...I have feelings. Anyway, it’s a college AU that is tragically UNFINISHED and will rip your heart out, BUT the same author also has a whole bunch of more canon related fic where the two of them do get together, so that eases the sting a little.

F.M.L by @badgerms - I maybe have a thing for swimmers, but I love this swimming college AU especially because it’s in Gene’s POV but done so well that it feels real. This fic also delves into mental illness and mental self flagellation (there are some moments that hit REAL hard if you’ve ever had eating disorders). But on top of all that, I feel like lollki really captured what is so magnetic about Snafu, and by having Gene put him on this impossible pedestal it kinda reflects what a lot of us in the fandom do with his character. Snafu makes his existence look effortless and thoughtless, Gene is incredibly jealous of how Snafu just lives, their competition is ENTHRALLING.

The Kind Of Stuff That Only Prince Would Sing About by @stolperzunge A coffee shop AU that has Sledge and Snafu just slowly and sweetly falling in love. This one is from Snaf’s pov and since I identify with him more you know I’m gonna love it lol! There are some GREAT funny lines, Snafu has personality in spades. Eugene is a grandad hipster type who also writes erotica....I dunno it’s all amazing go read it.

There Will Be Better Days by SydneyCarton - High school AU. As someone who had a fairly shitty high school experience and many bad holidays, this is...cathartic. Gene is definitely more the caretaker here, he saves Snafu in a way that’s just as strong as when he picked him up on the battlefield. But it’s all emotional, and Snafu is this scared prickly kid. And Gene is the honor roll kid who has to play the role of best friend secretly in love with the one person who matters most to them. This author never wrote anything else for Sledgefu and I wish they had!

Okay, that’s a whole bunch! There’s even more in my aO3 bookmarks! This list is just me going through my bookmarks and selecting the ones that I especially remembered and is by no means exhaustive of all my favorites in this fandom. Joining the Pacific train late means there’s a whole lot to choose from and explore...but it also means the list of active blogs is short and not a lot of new content gets posted every day :( I think the Sledgefu community is still going pretty strong, though! Welcome!

#sledgefu #Anonymous

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ladybugsfanfics · 5 years ago

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Shut Up And Kiss Me [11/?]

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x reader

Style: Multichapter

WC: 2k

Warnings: mention of blackout, exstreme awkwardness,

Summary: You and Professor Hiddleston have been colleagues for many years now, and through those years the hatred for each other has only grown. Now, as a new school year starts, you’re being told that you have to share a classroom or a class. Neither are happy about the outcome, but knowing you’ll never come to an agreement, you let the class choose for you. Team-teaching is rare in 2019, but it is a lot harder to do when you can’t stand the person you’re doing it with.

A/N: aaaa, i have been so absent, I know. This has taken forever, but now I can promise you I’m gonna be back. Not only will this, hopefully be updated more often (I have inspiration), but I also got like a ton of writing mojo (wrote 4k words yesterday) and a Loki!Piarate au is soon done and i have other shits, my requests are becoming easier though turns out they’re getting long. Anyways, I hope this can please you and I hope to be able to post more in the coming time. I love you all so much ^_^ P.S. it’s close to christmas and a christmas party... ;)

Previous | Seires Masterlist | Part Twelve

You can’t place the feeling. Not really. All you know is that something feels… off. Wrong.

It’s Sunday, three days since halloween and you met Emma’s friends. Even though that was fun and all, the night could have been better had you stuck with the people you know. Not only would you be able to continue to get Tom being nice (which had your heart race a mile a minute), but you could also, maybe, have more fun seeing as you wouldn’t panic everytime you said something.

However, three days later, something feels off. You’re not even sure if it has anything to do with Halloween (if it has anything to do with Tom lending you his coat because you were barely dressed in your costume), or if it has something to do with the fact that you have no recollection of what you did last night.

All you know is that something is not as it should be.

You try to shake off the feeling and reach for your phone, where it lies on your nightstand. The clock on it reads 07.39 AM and you curse your annoying drunk self for always making sure you wake up early―it’s not that you go to bed early, no rather late actually (like you gotta stay up ‘til at least 3 AM), but more that whenever you do get drunk, you actually fall asleep right away and you actually sleep. Maybe that’s the cure.

Despite wanting to continue your slumber, you decide to get up. Maybe you can figure out what’s giving you this feeling of something being amiss.

One slightly wrong, though not that surprising, thing lies on your couch. Y/BFF/N has their face half planted in one of your pillows, though the angle works for them to breathe. One arm hangs loosely off the couch and their legs have tangled themselves in a blanket, where one is thrown over the back of the couch. You have no idea how that can be comfortable, and you bet they’ll tell you how much they regret it when they wake up.

Yet, you know that’s not the feeling that haunts you. Seeing your best friend crashing on your couch is not a rare sight, though it is becoming rarer as time passes.

Nothing is amiss in your apartment. Everything where you left it when you went out last night, even the now half-full bottle of wine you opened before leaving that sits on your countertop.

The mystery continues, but the answers are not in your apartment. One thing’s for sure, you’re not about to go out and find out.

Before you decide to check any messages or notifications, you find a glass, fill it with water and down it in seconds. Pulling your head back you become aware of the ache in it, and with the water helping you clear your mind a little, the pounding slowly creeps into a loud drum.

Okay, so you’re not getting away from being hungover. Good to know.

Not being able to focus with the drums really taking off in your head, you rush to the bathroom and find aspirin. You take two and swallow them with another glass of water. It’s gonna take a little while before they help so you slide down the bathroom wall and sit there to let yourself ease into the beating that keeps interrupting your thoughts.

It feels like it takes forever, but when you check the clock, the pounding starts to wind down a little after more or less fifteen minutes. You don’t have the energy to get up from the warmth of the bathroom floor, so you continue to sit as you open your phone.

You have three snaps, five messenger texts, two texts and eleven missed phone calls. The phonecalls belong to three people; three from Tom (your heart skips a beat at the thought that he thinks of you), six from Benedict, and surprisingly, two from Chris.

The two texts are one message of having voicemails (three), and one message from Tom; I heard from Benedict. He’s worried, are you okay? - Tom. You ignore it, making a note to reply and listen to the voicemails after checking messenger and snap.

It takes three seconds to regret checking snap. Two of the snaps are from people you have no idea who are, but who you probably added last night. The last one is a video of you from Y/BFF/N embarrassing yourself to the nth degree on the dance floor. You know they saved it, and you know there is no point in asking to delete it―no matter what, you know they won’t post it anywhere.

In a state of shock, checking messenger becomes more automated that anything else. You read the messages; one with a similar name to one of the snap usernames that you ignore and delete the friend request seeing as the message itself is not one you want; one that’s from a groupchat with you, Y/BFF/N and another mutual friend that you don’t see that often as they live abroad, but whom you trust fully and therefore has replied to your drunk texts about wanting to fuck a certain person whose name shall not be mentioned; three texts from Chris asking what’s going on, if you’re okay and if there’s anything he can do to help. You only reply to Chris’s by asking why he wonders, saying yes and asking him if he knows anything about what happened last night―you do not admit to having no memory of the evening.

Waiting for a reply you listen to the voicemails. All three are from Benedict; one he sounds mad in, one he sounds worried in, and one he threatens to call the police and tell them that you’re missing and that you might be in danger―it feels a little weird not knowing if that actually happened.

You sigh, blowing your hair so it falls in your face. Well, well, gotta keep searching.

In the living room, Y/BFF/N lies in the same position as before. You ignore them, instead focusing on the low rumble from your stomach.

Hopefully, some food will help clear the mystery.

The food itself doesn’t help. However, the replies from Chris does.

Chris: asking because you seemed very drunk and i wanted to know you’re okay, good that you are, and no, i don’t know since you never really gave me anything to go on

You: okay, well, there are no other messages between us, anything I did to alert you??

Chris: uhh, no, actually it was Tom that called me

You: Tom?? Hiddleston?? The dude who I teach with??

Chris: yeah… i was surprised too, maybe talk to him?

You: yeah, im gonna

Of course, that’s what you tell Chris. You know, with every ounce of your body, that you will not pick up the phone and either text or call him because you know that that would be the death of you.

You will wait, as long as you can, to ask Tom why he called Chris. The thought of it alone just has that feeling of wrongness expand. You shake it off, put away your phone and return your attention to your food.

Going into work on Monday is not on your list of fun activities, but it is something you have to do. You suppose it would have been on your list of fun if not for the looming conversation you need to have with a certain professor.

It takes little time after your first class to meet him. Usually, your schedules don’t coincide but you guess the universe isn’t on your side today.

“Hi.” Tom purses his lips and puts his hands in his pockets.

You nod. “Hi.”

“How was your weekend?” he asks.

“It was good,” you say and nod. “You know what, I can’t really talk right now. Catch you later?” You shoot him a pained smile and hurry away before Tom can answer. There is no way you’ve ever been in a more awkward situation (and the worst part is that you don’t even know what it is that made it awkward―what the fuck did you say?!).

You try not to think too hard about it as you make your way back to your office. With two hours of office time, you can get back to focusing on your research project and get your mind off Saturday night and your possibly very embarrassing utterance to Tom.

God, what the fuck did you say?

It takes a solid five minutes for your mind to rush back to what’s been circling around the last twenty-four hours.

“Okay, you know what?” you say out loud to the silence of your office. It does not reply back. However, in the need to say it out loud, you act as if it did. “I have to just ask. I’m gonna go to wherever he currently is and I’m gonna ask what I said and I’m gonna cut right to the chase and it’s gonna be alright. It’s gonna be okay. It’s probably not as bad as I think it is.”

However, you don’t get up. It’s like you’re glued to your chair and no matter how much the nerves in your brain tells your legs to get up, they don’t move.

For two hours, you just sit there. Almost so you’re late to class even.

“We’re doing a what?”

Both you and Tom frown at Dean McHallan who, though with a slight roll of his eyes, nods. “You’re going to a conference in Scotland. I know it’s sudden and it seems weird, but they specifically asked for you two to speak.”

You raise a brow. “They asked for us to speak about what exactly? Do I have to prepare some kind of presentation or something now because, honestly, I’m not ready for that.”

“They asked for you both to speak on team-teaching creative writing. They wanted input from your students as well so during the week now, ask them some questions that you can quote them on. And they wanted you, Y/N, to speak on your research project as they find it interesting and they weirdly enough hadn’t thought about it before. They would love to hear how you’re going about it.”

Your mind races as you nod along to his words. What are you supposed to do? Say no, nope, you can’t do that. You literally have no choice because he’s already said you’re going and McHallan makes the final decisions and he also knows neither of you really have anything that important going on currently.

“Okay, I guess we’re going to Scotland next week.” You’ve always wanted to go so maybe it’s an opportunity you should take anyway.

“It’s settled then. Tom?”

The literature professor nods. “I can’t argue with your reasoning so I guess we’re going. I have some inquiries. Accomodations? Travel? Food? And when?”

McHallan hands each of you a piece of paper. “You will be in the same hotel, though different rooms. I think they’ll be just across from each other or something. You’ll fly there on wednesday morning, together, and have all wednesday evening to settle in and make the last preparations and so on. Food will be accounted for unless you eat above budget. There are breakfast and dinner included at the hotel, and lunch is served with the conference. If you eat anything outside of that it will be out of your own pocket. The schedule for the conference is on the back of that paper and the information you need about your flights just under there.”

You nod, going over the paper as McHallan talks and making different mental notes. Some of those make no sense, and one of them is ‘get trapped somewhere so you have to ask Tom what you did on Saturday’, though you’re afraid that one might be the hardest one to see through with.

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #thomas william hiddleston #twh #marvel #loki #rpf #real people fanfiction #professors au #professor hiddleston #tom hiddleston professor #slowburn #enemies to lovers #au

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boldly-fxcking-go-bitches · 5 years ago

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Solo Para | Bones & Carol | My Front Porch Looking In

Word Count: 3,556 Trigger warnings for: Kidnapping, disappearance/loss of a child, hearing loss

“Hannah,” Carol said, as she looks at their baby girl wrapped in a blanket, in her arms, and looking back up at her husband. “What do you think?”

Leonard smiles softly, leaning over her to get a better look at their daughter, nodding with a smile at Carol, kissing her head. “I think it’s perfect. What do you think, Hannah?”

As if to settle the matter, the baby girl chooses that moment to wiggle a bit in her mother’s arms and get closer. Now as a doctor, he knows that it’s not something she’s consciously doing but dammit, it’s so cute he’s deciding to ignore that, smiling softly at both of his girls, his family.

And the first year is hard, especially given his work and home balance has never been fair, and he has to be out in San Francisco more often than he’d like (and that’s with them limiting his duties so he could stay in Georgia, it’s a damned nightmare how often they decided they still needed him in person), but it gets to be a bit worse when Carol announces she’s pregnant again.

While they’re in the hospital, he gets communications from Starfleet that they’re appointing a new fleet admiral. This time, though, Leonard completely ignores the message, electing to stay at Carol’s side through the birth of their son. It’s as he’s offering, “Frey,” he receives the notice that effective immediately he is to dedicate time to his family and his family alone, by orders of the new Fleet Admiral. And he’ll be damned if it’s not Jim’s name staring up at him on the signature of those orders.

Of course. But he’ll give his old friend credit, at least he’s not an idiot.

He hates how many of Hannah’s firsts he’d missed, but he’s at Carol’s side for all of Frey’s.

He goes back to work sometime after the birth of their third daughter. Madeline is almost like the best of both of them, he thinks, and he loves her with all his heart, but he needed to get back into things lest he risk issues about abandoning his position. Carol understood, but he still hated leaving her with three young children.

But nothing beat the times he got to go home. He’d walk up on the porch, and look in the window and see Carol playing with Frey and Hannah in the living room waiting for him.

Frey would usually be chewing on his sippy cup instead of drinking from it, and Hannah would parade in and out in various outfits she’d put on herself... always with her shoes on the wrong feet. She always makes it some kind of fashion show, but she’s always the first one to see him in the window, and go tearing over to see him before running to the door as he walked over to it, throwing herself at him as he’d open it, screaming an endless stream of, “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”

But one day, he walks up on the steps, and sees Hannah isn’t playing as hard with Carol. Carol looks up and sees him in the window and smiles, nudging Hannah a bit and pointing to him.

Seeing the little girl’s dark eyes light up, he smiles and opens the door, but this time when Hannah runs over, she pulls on his hand. “Daddy sit! Daddy sit!”

So he sits on the couch next to Carol, noticing Frey curled up asleep in his armchair, and raising an eyebrow at Carol... who only smiles. “Darling... I’m pregnant.”

He’s floored, but he lights up, kissing Carol and scooping up Hannah, who points to Carol’s stomach and babbles, “Baby there!”

Well, she’s right and she’s wrong. Their final pregnancy, Carol and Leonard welcome twins.

Unfortunately, something’s not right with their little girl, and he wants to go with the doctors to try and help but a nurse stops him and he, somewhat defeated but understanding, goes back to Carol and the little girl’s twin brother, trying to soothe his wife as she cries shakily. He doesn’t think that the little girl isn’t going to make it, but...

Well, he doesn’t have to worry about it, when a nurse motions for him to step out. When he does, she sighs. “Admiral, your daughter is alive and with one exception, perfectly healthy.”

A weight lifts off his chest. Except... “What’s the exception?”

“We’re running some tests now to determine the cause, but she had a growth on her vocal chords. You gave permission at the start, as you have with all the previous births, that we do whatever is necessary to save the baby’s life. We... had to remove her vocal chords. Your daughter will never speak.”

His heart sinks, but he focuses on the positive. She’s alive, and she’s healthy. “Can I see her? Before I go back and tell Carol?”

“Of course,” she answers, leading him back to meet his third daughter.

Older than her twin by three minutes, and he sees her actively moving and squirming, mouth open and face squished up... and no sound comes out, but a monitor alerts a nurse to check on her right away.

They’d picked out names in advance this time. Hannah had helped them by casting her vote on an array of options. So he stares in, at all the small children in there, at the little girl with a unique monitor to alert if she’s trying to get attention, and presses his hand against the glass. “Be strong, Angie.”

This time, it takes two years before he goes back to work. And even when he does, Jim is concerned. “Bones, are you sure you’re ready to do this? You can take more time, you have five children, and the twins are only two. Not to mention Angie--”

“Jim, I love my family more than anything, and I’d give anything to be there with them, but there’s nothing more I can do for any of them. Carol’s been telling me I need to get out from under her feet and come back, and when your own wife who carried and bore all five of those kids is telling you to go back to work, it’s a sign you need to get your ass back to work.”

Jim chuckles and sighs, shaking his head. “I don’t know how you do it, Bones.”

“I’ve gotta, Jim. Those kids are the greatest gifts I’ve ever had. But I want them to come up the way I did, and they love it there. My job is here. Their home is in Georgia. We make it work.”

He takes sign language courses in San Francisco, during the stretches where he has to stay in the city. He comes home and sees Carol and Angie practicing sign language (while simultaneously working on speaking with Jared) on the floor of the living room, while Madeline plays with Carol’s hair and Hannah chases Frey around the house... but always comes to a stop at the window when she sees him, eyes light up bright and waving at him before going to meet him at the door, to fling herself at his legs and scream the same, “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” when he opens it.

His gorgeous wife, his five wonderful children, are everything he could ever ask for.

On his birthday a couple years later, he’s forced to work from San Francisco and he hates it, he misses being home, misses Georgia but...

He’s surprised at his apartment when he opens the door to be met by a blonde 7 year old, still flinging herself at him and yelling out, “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” when he opens the door.

“Oof! Hannah? Darlin’, what are you--”

But before he can finish the thought, more voices chorus a cheerful, “Surprise!” and he looks up to see Carol and the rest of the kids, as well as a number of old friends, with a birthday cake on his counter, and he just tears up a bit, scooping up his oldest daughter and making his way in properly. “What on earth is all this?”

“It’s your birthday, daddy,” is the solid answer from the five year old who has clearly put herself in charge of the party.

He chuckles a bit at that. “Is that so, Madeline? Well, what’re you doing here? Last time I checked in, you were still in Georgia, young lady.”

“Well, we’re not anymore,” she replies matter-of-factly, a response that earns a bit of laughter around the room.

Carol gets up and walks over to join him, kissing his cheek. “We left about five minutes after you hung up on us this morning so we’d have time to get here and get everything ready. Happy birthday.”

Smiling, he kisses her, and Hannah wrinkles her nose and swats at them both. “Ewww!”

He laughs a bit at that. “Oh, is that so? Is that so?” And as he starts repeating that, he wrinkles his nose back at her and presses his head against hers, rubbing their noses and smothering her with kisses until she’s squealing and laughing and pushing at him, whereupon he finally pulls back and smiles at her. “I missed you guys.”

Hannah giggles. “We miss you, too,” and just as abruptly as she’d answered him with that soft Georgian accent, she looks at Carol and asks in the chipper British accent, “Mummy, can we tell him now?”

“Tell me what?” He asks, and Hannah looks a bit guilty.

Madeline crosses her arms and pouts. “That was s’posed to be a surprise!”

“Well, cat’s pretty much out of the bag,” Rebecca remarks from where she’s sitting at the counter.

“Darling, we’ll be staying a few days. It was the kids’ idea for your birthday gift, from us to you,” Carol says, and he pauses as her words set in and smiles, pulling her in close and hugging her, before squishing Hannah in between them and motioning for the other four to come join them.

The last day is when it all comes crashing down.

He has one quick thing to do at the office, today was his deadline and he needed to finish the paperwork. Just a few signatures.

In the meantime, Carol took the kids to a park out by Starfleet HQ. It was a hot day, and the three elder kids were behaving so well but the twins... the twins were fussy, Jared wanted to sit with Carol at the bench under the tree because he was too hot, but Angie wanted ice cream and in the time it took to try and settle them, in the minutes she’d looked away...

Madeline was still on the swings.

Frey was still on the monkey bars.

But there was no call from a small blonde with brown eyes for Carol to “Watch me!” as she went down the slide.

Carol shoots up from her seat, eyes darting around the playground.

Just Madeline on the swings.

Frey and a couple other boys his age on the monkey bars.

But no footsteps running around the play structure. No blonde running over to her to talk about being hot or tired. “Hannah?”

No response. “HANNAH?”

But there’s nothing, no little girl yelling back, as Carol grabs the twins hands and rushes to Frey. “Frey, have you seen Hannah, where did your sister go?”

Frey looks over in confusion and looks back at the slide where Carol had seen her last, too. “I don’t know,” he answers, and that sends her heart beating faster, her blood roaring in her ears--

“HANNAH! THIS ISN’T FUNNY, DARLING! HANNAH!”

Madeline climbs off the swings and runs over, as Carol turns in circles, looking around, searching, pleading-- “HANNAH OLIVIA MCCOY!”

He’s signing the last page when his wife calls for him. “I’m just about to leave, I’ll see you--”

But she’s sobbing, hysterical on the other line and he sits up in shock. “Carol, what is it, what happened?”

His heart drops to his stomach as she chokes out the screams. “It’s Hannah-- Hannah’s gone missing from the park, I can’t find her anywhere--”

He stands up sharply and startles his assistant who’d just opened the door. “Where are you? I’m on my way. Call the police.”

That night, he doesn’t come home till 1am, and there’s still no sign of her. Carol is determined, and gets them a proper place in the city-- his little apartment was nice for visiting, but it was really meant as just a place where he could crash when he had to stay in the city for work. The farm in Georgia was their home. But Carol gets them a bigger place in the city, refusing to leave it until they have closure on Hannah’s disappearance.

Three years pass without anything, but neither of them give up hope... even as life hits them hard again, when a regular checkup determines Jared is losing his hearing.

His twin sister holds him and teaches him better sign but it’s not enough, he’s scared and he just wants Carol and Leonard to hold him all the time. He wakes up crying in the middle of the night, and usually Carol is with him in seconds... because Leonard is out, again, as he always is, looking for Hannah. Even if there’s no hope, he has to believe she’s there. Jared cries into his mother’s arms as slowly but surely his hearing is fading, but he refuses anything to aid him even with how scared he is, and Carol can’t make sense of it.

One day when he’s at home, Carol asks him to talk to Jared about it. So he goes to his youngest son, sitting in the window of their living space, looking out over the city below, and sits with him. “Hey, Jared.”

Jared jumps and turns to him, and Leonard winces at how far gone his hearing is, but Jared just smiles, trying his best to bare it. “Hi, daddy.”

“How are you today?”

His son thinks about it. “I’m okay. Is this about the hearing aids?”

Leonard pauses and nods. “It is. Your mom’s been trying to figure out why you don’t want them. She’s worried about you.”

“I don’t want them. If they can’t make something to help Angie, I don’t want to have something that can help me. It’s not fair.”

“I know, bud, I just--”

Jared sniffles. “None of this is fair. I barely remember our old house anymore, or Hannah. You always talk about how good medicine is now but nothing can make Angie better. And you’re always gone looking for Hannah and mommy’s trying so hard and none of this is fair. It’s not fair. I just want everything to go back to how it was before. I want Hannah back, and I wanna go back home, daddy.”

And it’s like a dam breaks in him, as Leonard pulls his youngest son in tightly and hugs him, crying as silently as he can, feeling Jared hug him back and cry against him. “It’s not. You’re right, it’s not. None of this is fair. I wish things could go back to the way they were before, too, buddy, I wish we could go back and keep your sister safe and that we were all back in Georgia together. I wish you and Angie could have the aid you both need, I wish neither of you even needed medical aid. I wish I could just wave my hand and fix everything, buddy.”

But he can’t, and they both know it, so they just hold onto each other and cry for a while before Jim calls him to say they’re going on another search party, even Spock with all his damned logic is ignoring the odds after all these years to help him find his little girl and sometimes the man might drive him up a wall but he’ll give him one thing, that he’s been amazing help during these past few years.

And he continues to be even as the odds get slimmer and even Carol is losing hope. Nine years since their eldest (biological, anyways) vanished and not a trace of her, they have no idea what to do anymore, everything says they need to just give up by now...

But that all changes the night Madeline wakes them up with her screaming. Angie’s missing, her screech says, propelling them both into action. He’s already in contact with Jim and the rest of the Enterprise crew in San Francisco, organizing an immediate search party as they spread out looking for the thirteen year old, and this can’t be happening again, he can’t go through this again--

So he’s relieved enough when the mute thirteen year old flags him down from the sidewalk as he zips through the city streets, rushing over to her as he’s calling Jim to call things off because he found her, calling his wife and...

“Carol, I found... her, hang on she’s with someone else,” he finishes the cross as Angie half carries a blonde teenager into the light and he freezes. Surely--

But the teenager looks at him, with hollow brown eyes and unwashed, messy blonde hair, eyes red and puffy with tears stains cutting through dirt on her cheeks, and she sees him in the light and slowly, slowly, a word creeps out of her mouth. “Daddy?”

He hears Carol gasp but his world narrows out, focused on one thing. The tiny teenager in front of him, with blonde hair and dark brown eyes, a light Georgian twang in her voice when she calls him “daddy”, and it’s her. “Hannah?”

And Hannah smiles very slightly, very shakily, and she pulls away from Angie, stumbling forward a couple steps into his arms, holding onto him and trembling. Leonard looks at Angie, who smiles somewhat and, with the light of the streetlight on her, signs to him how she’d thought she’d heard something on her walk home, and her gut said it had to be Hannah, even after all these years, and he pulls her in close and hugs them both, sobbing weakly as he holds onto them.

He doesn’t even know when Hannah got ahold of his communicator but he hears Carol trying to talk to him and then her small voice answering some questions, and before he knows it Carol and their other three kids are barreling towards them and Carol pulls both of the girls in tightly, peppering Hannah with kisses and crying, and they’re okay and together again and--

The remainder of their search party arrives with the police about ten minutes later, and are shell shocked by what they find. Spock is the first one to ask. “Is that--”

“Yes,” he says, and it’s like a burden lifts from his shoulders, after nine long, impossible years. “Yes, you idiot, it’s Hannah.”

And Jim lights up with joy, and that’s when he sees how much of a burden this had been on his old friends for the past nine years, something he’d managed to be completely blind to.

It’s not easy. Hannah struggles to readjust to so many things-- ordinary light (they assume she was kept in darkness by the way she handles most lights), human interaction, the questioning she has to deal with to try and find the man who took her was torture for her, even sitting curled up in his lap she cries, and that doesn’t start on the recovery that she’ll have to take from the trauma she’s experienced.

But Hannah is home.

The twins are healthy and adjusted and extremely happy. Their kids are happy. Especially when the day comes that the sixteen year old sits down at the table for breakfast and asks, “Can we go home? Back to Georgia, I mean?”

And Bones looks up from his PADD where he’s reading the news, and smiles softly and with a chuckle answers, “Just say when.”

It’s good to come back. Sure, there’s a lot of work to do on the place, after nine years, but that’s the best part in his opinion, the hard, hands-on work of fixing up and cleaning up their home. The kids flourish here.

And, days after a meeting regarding the Orions, nothing beats walking up the porch and looking in at the six beautiful people inside.

There’s a fourteen-year-old girl baking what smells like a peach pie and laughing as a pair of twins race by chasing after a dog that appears to have someone’s hairbrush in its mouth. There’s a boy with dark curly hair playing a video game of some kind but turns it off and heads out the back door to take care of his chores at a reminder from his mother as she passes him by.

And standing on the couch, tracing the lines of what’s going to be a beautiful mural of the family on the wall, is a 4′11″ goth teenager, with purple hair that she’s been coloring to cope, but stops sketching when she hears a tap at the window, turning around and seeing him, smiling brightly and rushing to meet him at the door.

He opens it to hear the familiar sound of that teenager screaming out a series of “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” with joy before hugging him tightly, and he hugs her back knowing somehow, all is well again.

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years ago

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Skam season 3, episode 5 (2/2)

This reaction covers the Pause, Pride, and Bros clips, which are the emotional equivalent of that time Homer Simpson skateboarded over a gorge.

SEASON 3, EPISODE 5

Clip 4 - Locker room turning point

This scene really is the catalyst for much of what happens in the second half of the season. It’s fantastically acted and superbly written. Julie commented on the script that it was one of the hardest scenes of S3 and I believe it, it’s so complex and runs through so many emotions in just a few minutes. And it’s so fraught. One of Skam’s greatest attributes is the ability to portray vulnerability and this scene is full of it. Everything is so delicate, so much remains unspoken.

Been thinking about how we don’t get these wide establishing shots of a lot of locales, like the gym here, for instance. Like a lot of directors would have more of an establishing shot of the gym, they’d show students running and working out, a teacher calling out instructions, etc. before we cut to Isak. Julie doesn’t always do those. I can think of a number of times she does, showing students hanging around and goofing off outside the school, for example, but a lot of times she just cuts straight to the POV character. Maybe just for practical reasons, but it also makes her storytelling feel very very intimate and character-focused with all these tight closeups.

I wonder if Isak is much into sports - like actually playing them, not sticking to FIFA. We don’t see him doing much of them and whenever he’s at some physical activity, he’s on the sidelines (at the skate park or watching basketball or w/e at the start of episode 3). We see him working out in the birthday video so I guess he started exercising regularly. Gotta keep in shape for his man.

Nice double take when you realize Edward Cullen has been watching you, Isak.

No, but imagine Even just watching Isak mess around in gym class for a bit before Isak notices, maybe psyching himself up to talk to him and tell him the important news. Because this season is so confined to Isak’s POV, on first viewing we see so much of Even’s confident, charming side; it’s only after we know the whole story that we realize how he must have been dealing with his own insecurities.

On that note, let’s talk about what’s going on with Even off screen between the cuddle scene and this locker room scene. He took some days off from school - honestly, I feel like he had a depressive crash. At some point he broke up with Sonja. He didn’t talk to Isak much outside of elusive texts. Can you imagine what he was going through? But no matter how hard it was, he made a decision that Isak was worth everything, worth breaking up this safety net of a relationship with Sonja, worth taking a chance on a new person, worth all the risks, because Isak made him that happy.

In the original script, Even grabbed Isak and kissed him when he entered the locker room. Apparently this was changed due to the setup of the locker room, but Julie made the right call in adapting the scene so that Even didn’t start with a kiss. I think that might have been too self-assured of him, though they could have played it as desperation as well. But this scene works fantastically when we see Even is vulnerable, too, that it’s not just Isak who’s been questioning and wondering while Even leaves him hanging. It’s easy (for me at least) to forgive Even for his strange hot and cold behavior when Even is clearly going through something difficult, even if I didn’t know what that is yet.

It also works better with the careful distance between them at the start of the clip. I don’t think either of them know what’s going to happen. From Isak’s POV, is Even going to call it all off, tell him he’s back with Sonja? Give him more vague answers? From Even’s POV, how pissed is Isak? Is Isak going to want to be all in, now that he’s had a few Evenless days to think about everything?

The sound editing in this scene works wonders. I love that we can hear all the gym sounds (people talking, bouncing balls) from outside, but they’re muffled - like they’re in a semi-public, semi-private space. Technically someone can walk in at any time, but it’s also a locker room, not accessible to everyone. It feels fitting that they’re in this kind of in-between place.

Additionally, you can hear every breath and step and nervous swallow from them here. Skam often uses music so perfectly to enhance its characters’ emotions, but there’s also such a thing as using music too much, as a lazy tactic to make the audience emotional without working for it in the acting, writing, or directing. So here’s a scene with no music. Just sounds from the two characters. No additions. And this is what you get, a scene of raw tenderness.

Soooo much subtext in this scene, so much of Isak and Even not asking everything they want or saying everything they mean. Even when the dialogue seems forthright, there’s another layer behind it.

My opinion of Even jumped up a lot when he says he’s talked to Sonja and they’re on a break. He should have done that at the beginning, ideally, but the fact that he did make the move to break up with her counts for something. When I saw this I was so damn relieved that it wasn’t going to be a typical case of “dude with a girlfriend has secret male side piece, strings along girlfriend while keeping boyfriend a secret” which is pretty common in LGBT media, especially coming out stories. I respected that Even was honest with Sonja, even if it was late, and it spoke a lot to Even’s sincerity about Isak.

FUCK, I loooove this moment, where everything hangs between them as Even asks Isak what he thinks about him breaking up with Sonja. Not assuming that Isak will be happy about it, not assuming Isak is going to act any specific way, really. Even is really fucking vulnerable when he asks this! Great acting from Henrik. The fact that Even isn’t sure about Isak’s reaction, that you can tell he’s still nervous about what Isak will think and that maybe he’s jumped the gun or expected more than Isak wants, means so much. Even broke up with Sonja even though he wasn’t 100% sure about Isak wanting to be with him. Because Isak was worth it.

And of course, Sonja has a say in this too, she might not want to be with someone who’s cheated on her. But judging from what we do know about her (and you know, kissing Even two days after this) I think she’d be willing to forgive Even and not break up with him over the Isak incident. She might talk herself into thinking it was just a result of Even’s bipolar disorder. So while I’m sure they hashed stuff out between them, I do think it was Even who wanted the break.

I don’t know Norwegian so I wonder if “we have decided to take a break” has the same connotations in English. Because if Even said, “Sonja and I broke up” it sounds like a permanent thing, they are done. “We have decided to take a break” is less permanent thing that leaves wiggle room for getting back together, or at least is putting off the absolute end of the relationship. In that case, I feel like maybe Sonja does think this is a manic thing and is letting Even go off to do his own thing, expecting that he’ll come back to her. EDIT: @skamenglishsubsclarified: Yes, in the original he uses the word "pause", as in "we've decided to take a pause". I'm not sure if it's good English to use "pause" about a relationship, which is why I used "decided to take a break". Either way, yes, it's absolutely not final, they haven't really broken up. Presumably Sonja views this a some sort of manic fling, and Even isn't quite ready to cast off the safety net that Sonja provides.

Man, I really do wish we could somehow get Even’s POV of that conversation with Sonja, though. I would love to hear what they talked about, in detail, what the atmosphere was like - tearful or resigned or angry or all three. When he told her about Isak, what exactly did he say? “I have told Sonja about you” - I don’t know why that gets to me the way it does since it’s fairly straightforward, but I guess I read it as Even not just telling Sonja the bare facts of what’s going on with Isak (we kissed) but elaborating on his feelings for him.

Also, look at Isak’s stunned reaction to what Even is saying! I don’t think he expected it! Maybe he didn’t think Even was about to dump him in the locker room, but was he expecting Even to open with “I told my girlfriend about you and we broke up”? Like … Even chose Isak over Sonja? His girlfriend of four years? Literally the best thing he could have heard. (Flashbacks to Noora and Eskild’s talk in episode 4 - if he loves you, he’ll choose you.) And ohhhh my god, their reactions when Isak seems satisfied that Even and Sonja broke up. The slow, dawning happiness that Isak is trying to keep under wraps and Even can’t control.

Lol, Isak saying that he hopes it’s not his fault if Even is sad is him trying to fish for how Even feels (as indicated in the script by Julie) but it could also be him downplaying the cartwheels his heart is doing now that Even and Sonja broke up. Or it’s also sincere! I think it’s at least partly sincere. He doesn’t want to make Even sad. Isak messes up but he’s a decent kid at heart, he feels guilt over causing hurt to people.

What a beautiful turnaround from Even from being this fragile-seeming kid in a million protective layers to being utterly joyous when Isak seems pleased about the breakup, like Henrik flipped that switch. And what a beautiful understated way to write it, just “I’m not sad!” Not going too far, like “It’s you I want to be with!” Just making it clear that Even has no regrets about the breakup. That he did it because he wants to be with Isak.

That hesitant “Nei?” from Isak is just. Good work, Tarjei.

The kiss feels much better here than it would have at the start of the scene, after we’ve worked through the hesitation to the happiness. The opening uncertainty is so emotionally rich that a kiss at the beginning would soften it.

If you ever want to demonstrate why Tarjei and Henrik have some first-class chemistry, show them this scene. What’s great about their chemistry is that’s it not just good acting at each other, it’s acting with each other. After Even kisses Isak, listen to Isak’s breathing. Watch Even pull off a little nose rub (their thing now) and how Isak responds to it. Their eye contact follows each other. We get the infamous out-of-frame hand-holding and they look down together. Look at their eyes staying on each other, shooting down to each other’s lips. This is just excellent natural chemistry. It sounds incredibly obvious but on-screen chemistry should be about the actors reacting and Tarjei and Henrik are effortless at playing off each other.

Give Tarjei an award for this look he gives Even after the hand-holding. That is an utterly smitten look right there.

And I think Isak gives Even a little nuzzle/nose rub/forehead touch although it’s hard to tell exactly what because we’re focused on Even. Isak feeling braver and being able to initiate kisses or touches with Even is such a lovely thing to witness over the course of the season.

Damn, Even gathers all his courage to ask Isak the next question. What do you think your parents would say if you started dating me? It’s so loaded. First, he’s asking Isak to date him. Not be his side piece or his dirty little secret or his casual hook-up. He wants Isak to be his boyfriend, he wants to make this thing official. He’s all in. But second, it’s also his way of asking Isak important questions about himself. Is Isak out? Is Isak going to be safe if they start to date? Will he be accepted by his family? See, Even knows a little about Isak’s family situation - just a little. He knows that things were rough at home and Isak’s dad left his mom. So he needs to parse out exactly how bad this’ll be for Isak, and whether any of that rough home life had to do with Isak’s sexuality. Knowing what we do about Even in S4, I think it’s really important that he checks in with Isak about this. He’s careful. He’s considerate. He knows that not all parents are going to be OK with it. When Isak says his dad would probably be fine with it, Even isn’t content with just that; he wants to know about his mom, the one pointedly not mentioned.

Isak is so overwhelmed by both of those implications, too, Even wanting to be his boyfriend and having to deal with potentially coming out to his parents.

And here’s where it all goes downhill, not that Isak knows it’s going downhill.

“My mom is insane.” Isaaaaaak.

That is some damn fine reacting from Henrik, because Even is hyper-attuned to that mention of “insane” and you can feel the mood change immediately, but not so obviously that all the viewers would figure out Even’s deal. Or that Isak would pick up on it.

This scene aired just days before the 2016 US presidential elections, when popular opinion was that HRC had it in the bag, and I remember watching this scene in real time and being like “lol, Trump joke” because fuck that guy, and like a naive asshole I had hope for the future. And then not even a week later the election happened and ohhhhh boy is this part kinda bittersweet now. Emphasis on bitter. But within the context of the scene, it’s a little levity over a very serious topic, with Isak feeling the need to reassure Even that he is not, in fact, related to Donald Trump and Even playing along and laughing before his face kinda falls as they get back to Isak’s mom.

I feel so so so so bad for Even in this scene. He just put everything out on the line for Isak, he was so damn happy just a minute or two ago, things were going to happen between them! And then it comes crashing down in the most painful way possible. And he wants to know, and is trying to get the details about Isak’s mom out of him in a subtle-ish way, that doesn’t let on how fast Even’s heart must be beating and how sick his stomach must feel. The fact that Isak doesn’t talk to his mom is a bad sign. It’s not that they just have a rocky relationship, it’s that they have no relationship.

What gets me about this part is that Isak thinks he is reassuring Even. He is telling Even that his mom won’t get in the way of their relationship. Whatever, she’s crazy and Isak is better off without her. There’s nothing to worry about with her, Even. And instead he’s ripping out Even’s heart.

Also, Isak is trying to reassure himself, that he doesn’t care what his mom thinks. Totally doesn’t care. Nope. It doesn’t hurt that she might not accept him. Not at all.

“I’ve decided my life is better without mentally ill people around me.” Isak, buddy, you’re going to regret that.

A lot of viewers picked up that this line was probably the reason Even broke up with Isak a day after making it clear he wanted to be with him. At the time it certainly seemed like a likely possibility. I’ve watched reaction videos to Skam on YouTube and many of them don’t pick up on this line except in retrospect; Julie bundles the turning point with a relevant discussion, openly addressing Isak’s mother’s mental health which has been an underlying source of anxiety throughout the season. It’s not like Isak randomly started making jokes about mentally ill people or anything that felt shoehorned. The digression feels natural, so I think it doesn’t stand out as much as the reason Even mysteriously calls it off until repeat viewings.

Something to keep in mind that I don’t see people talk about as much is that this scene is coming after the cuddle scene, after Isak told Even about his family problems. In that scene Even listened to Isak talk about how he didn’t want to go home after his dad left his mom (for a then-unexplained reason). Isak didn’t want to go home so much that he went out and got trashed at a bar and got found by someone else (why didn’t he want to go home?). Isak doesn’t want to be at home so much that he moved out (what about his mom?). Even got to witness how much Isak was affected by this incident, got to see Isak open up and be vulnerable about it but try to play it off. And now Even can put the pieces that were missing together. Isak’s dad probably left his mom in part due to her mental illness, Isak probably doesn’t want to go home because of his mom’s mental illness. Because of how this information was doled out to him, Even has been able to witness the toll that mental illness in a loved one has taken on Isak.

And I think that’s part of the reason why Even chooses to cut things off with Isak. It’s both for Even himself and for Isak that he does this. For Even, he realizes that it’s better to cut his losses before things get really serious. Things won’t work out if Isak doesn’t want to be around people like him. It will hurt less now than later. But it’s also for Isak’s sake, because Even doesn’t want to hurt Isak. I mean, Isak is the one who’s (inadvertently) hurt Even here, but Even also sees his bipolar disorder as something that will hurt others, as we know from the minutt for minutt scene. When he sees that mental illness has already caused a lot of hurt for Isak, he doesn’t want to add to that pain. So Even likely would have called off their relationship regardless, but having this extra information probably added to his decision.

And Isak has no idea what he’s just done. He comes across as quite young and innocent asking what Even’s parents would think of him. Like there’s a bit of wanting that approval there, not just because it’s his boyfriend’s parents and clearly he’d rather they like him and not be homophobic assholes, but he’s lacking some parental approval of his own right now, it’s not a stretch to think that maybe he wants the good opinion of some older authority figures.

I really wonder how, if Isak had not run his mouth, their relationship would have progressed. I don’t think you can say it would have definitely worked or not worked out because there are a host of factors to consider, but it’s interesting to think what would have happened if Even hadn’t called it off the next day. How would Isak have come out to his friends in that case? How would Isak have dealt with being outed if he were with Even when it happened? How would Isak have learned about Even having bipolar disorder? For AU purposes, kind of interesting.

This final touch and kiss from Even takes on such a different context when you realize that Even thought this was the last time he would kiss Isak. You can see him memorizing Isak’s face and putting everything into that kiss.

“I think they would have loved you.” Certainly ominous with that past tense, Even. Lmao, I remember watching in real time and being like, “Uhhh, are his parents dead, or is he about to break up with Isak?” But Isak is just too blissed out to think much about the implications. EDIT: @skamenglishsubs had some things to add: “I think they would have loved you" was a very tricky piece of dialogue to translate. Actually, they used the past tense hypothetical throughout the scene. Even asks "What do you think your parents would have said if we got together", and Isak answers "My dad probably wouldn't have had an issue.” And then the whole scene plays out, and Isak asks "What about your parents, what do you think they would have said if we got together?" And Even answers "I think they would have loved you.” The thing is, in English, the past tense hypothetical is pretty definite, it indicates something that hasn't happened or *will not happen*. But this isn't the case in Norwegian, it's more ambiguous, it could mean a regular hypothetical, something that could actually happen. But the original Norwegian script picked that past tense for a reason, and knowing what we know, I think it wanted to plant that little seed of uncertainty there, hinting that Isak and Even actually won't get together. So in the translation, I decided to flip only the last sentence to the past tense hypothetical. It makes it stand out a lot more since there's no subtlety about it in English, so you're almost guaranteed to get a reaction, but I think that's the right choice. It wouldn't be wrong to translate Even's answer as "I think they would love you", but you completely lose the emotional punch of it, and hidden meaning.

But it’s just so sad, because Even’s already made the decision right there, and he knows they would’ve been amazing together. You know he’s probably blaming himself and his mental illness more than being upset with Isak, who I obviously love but is the one in the wrong with his ableist comments. I really, really want to know how Even dealt with everything in the time between leaving the locker room and sending Isak the breakup text. How long his composure lasted after he walked out. How he thought about how he’d call things off, how maybe he waited and put it off because he didn’t really want to end things, he just knew he should.

Isak’s face at the end = awwwwwww. He’s so happy! He has no idea what’s coming.

Clip 5 - Pride

This is one of Skam’s finest moments, IMO, when the show’s educational public service aspirations are in top form. It’s a dramatic moment that works well for Isak’s character development as well as teaching the audience. It could have been overly preachy since Eskild basically delivers a lecture, but it’s so well-written and acted that it works.

But first, let’s talk about the opening of Isak lying on his bed, thinking about Even.

This little moment is one of the sweetest things on the show. Isak - who has presented a typical teenage boy front for a large part of the season, and has kept his sensitive side largely confined to his bedroom - thoroughly indulges in some sappy dreaming about Even. Like, forget him watching the Mikael video and smiling to himself, or watching Romeo + Juliet and shedding a single tear. This is straight-up mush. He fucking clutches his phone to his chest! His phone that is his gateway to Even, you know he’s thinking about calling or texting because, holy shit, Even is his boyfriend now. The slight smile on Isak’s face because he is just that over the moon. Even chose him! Even wants to be with him! Isak can be happy! And Isak has to know that his life is going to change, he’s going to have to do something about the tension with the boy squad, he probably can’t avoid Emma forever, who knows what his parents will think about him dating a boy - holy shit Isak will have to come out of the closet - but for this moment, that’s all somewhere in the future. Right now, he’s just going to be happy. Isak has a boyfriend. (And not just any boyfriend, but the man of his dreams.)

The sly sideways glance that Isak gives his pillow is the funniest shit ever. He’s alone in his bedroom, like, kid, you can huff your Even-scented pillow as much as you want. But it’s like he’s communicating with the damn thing. Hey, pillow. You and me. Cuddle time. Let’s do this.

I hope everyone has read the famous pillow meta. The thing about this scene is that Isak canonically has emotions about the pillow Even used, which makes me think it’s plausible that Julie really did put that much thought into Isak’s pillows.

For real, I gently mock Isak here but my heart melts at this part. It’s just so genuine! There’s no facade with Isak, he’s just letting his guard down, thinking of Even and the time they spent lying together on this bed. If you think back to Isak changing his answers on the gay test to get “less gay” results, or even just look at that female swimsuit model poster above his head, you know Isak sometimes keeps up a lie even in private. Here he’s being honest with himself and sentimental. You know he wishes Even were there right now, which is of course why he writes a text message asking Even to hang out.

Also, a little thing, but Isak seems fairly confident about that text, he doesn’t overthink what he’s writing like he did in the opening ep4 clip (with Noora talking and Isak rewriting his text) which to me is more confirmation of how good a mood Isak is in, and how he thinks this thing with Even is in a solid place.

Eskild’s intro in this scene, popping in the doorway with that mischievous expression, always makes me laugh.

Have I talked about Eskild much? Because I fucking love Eskild. Like, adore him. He makes a lot of sense to me in that his flaws and his virtues come from the same place, which is a strong way to write a character. I think some writers value the importance of giving their characters both positive and negative traits, but don’t realize that they’re often two sides of the same coin rather than completely separate attributes. With Eskild, he can be overly meddlesome, occasionally insensitive in what he says, lack boundaries or personal space, but that comes from the same place as his kindness, sympathy, and helpfulness - he’s highly extroverted and invested in people and wants to take care of them. A lot.

Also, what a fantastic relationship is Isak and Eskild’s, a combination of big bro/little bro and of course guru/apprentice. We so often get the “gay friend who has no life other than to give advice to the straight protagonist” and this is like that trope redone in a more meaningful way (plus, we have the flipped version of that trope in S3 with Jonas and the boy squad being the straight friends who give advice to their gay friend). But it is really great that Isak has this type of relationship with another gay man - one that’s completely platonic but also with so much caring behind it, and with a gay guy who’s very different from him in a lot of ways but is a positive force in his life. And opinions may vary on how well this part is handled, but I also think it’s great that Eskild’s clearly got a sex life and hooks up with dudes on Grindr and this isn’t shown as shameful or judged negatively, other than the occasional “ugh Eskild keep it down, the walls in this apartment are thin.” I mean Isak and Even are this lovey-dovey monogamous couple and that’s wonderful, but it’s also OK to have casual sex! I have some bones to pick with Eskild’s depiction in S4 but in S3, he’s fantastic.

Eskild goes about broaching the subject of Even in a pretty clever, almost parental way by giving Isak a gift and using that as an opening to mention that Even guy Isak had over. Maybe not that subtle but it certainly did get Isak to open up. It’s so thoughtful that Eskild doesn’t specifically push Isak to talk about Even and like, ask him if they’re dating or hooking up, anything like that. He’s clearly prompting him and letting him know that Isak can talk about it if he wants, but giving Isak control over how much he wants to divulge (if anything). He’s even getting up to leave just as Isak decides that yes, he will go ahead and tell Eskild, so it’s not like Eskild was going to sit there and grill Isak until he confessed. Eskild can go OTT nosy for laughs sometimes (”there are shoes in the hallway, Isak, is Even in your bedroom????”) but he knows when to give space. Carl Martin plays this part really well because you can see the question mark at the end of the suggestion about “that Even guy.”

Tarjei does a nice job too, you can see his good mood and how he’s reacting happily to Eskild gently ribbing him about his bedroom odor instead of giving more of Isak’s bratty side, and how when Eskild mentions Even he dims a little. Because oh yeah. This is how it’s going to be. He’ll have to tell people about him and Even eventually. But he must realize that Eskild is probably the best person he knows to come out to, because Eskild is not going to judge him for this. Eskild is gay, like Isak, even if Isak doesn’t want to use that word yet. Eskild is a good trial run for everybody else - good practice for just saying the words. And Eskild is clearly making some sort of offering here and letting him know, without saying it, that Isak is free to talk to him about Even.

Eskild is smiling when Isak tells him about Even, and you know it’s not in a smug “yessss, I knew it!” sort of way. It’s pride that Isak has finally confided in him and is gradually creeping out of his closet and having boys over. He handles this part perfectly. He’s not pressuring Isak to give him all the details, he’s not asking how Isak defines his sexuality or anything. It makes you wonder whether Eskild had an Eskild of his own when he came out, and how much of his treatment of Isak is inspired by how people reacted, for better or worse. What he wished they’d said and done, what he wished they hadn’t.

I think what installs some insecurity in Isak here - or I guess what makes that existing insecurity rise out of Isak and makes him say some unfortunate things - is both that disclosing his thing with Even is a big step that’s scary in itself, but also that Eskild obviously knew what was going on with Isak. He knew something was up with Isak and Even, he set up this moment with the room freshener to bring up the topic. He’s known since he found Isak drunk at a gay bar. And honestly, I think that makes Isak a little defensive, because shit, people knew. I mean, it’s Eskild, another gay man, but someone can tell he likes boys even without Isak telling them, and that probably makes Isak panic a bit. He struggles with the generalizations and the ideas of what it means to be gay. He takes a gay test and he makes a point of calling out a guy who seems “too gay” and I think a lot of it is fear that he will be perceptibly gay to outsiders. Watch how Isak dims a little and gets more serious after he tells Eskild. You’re not surprised? he asks. He’s not totally OK that Eskild is not surprised. He denies that he knew he was at a gay bar. He’s a little rattled by Eskild not feigning surprise and more or less admitting he’s known since he met Isak.

The thing is, Eskild doesn’t assume Isak is gay based on his taste in pop culture or his mannerisms or his grooming habits or anything like was suggested in the gay test - he’s thinking it based on, you know, finding Isak in a gay bar and Isak having a strange boy stay overnight. It’s all based on actions, not inherent qualities. But I don’t think Isak is considering that, really - he’s still deep in internalized homophobia and how people will view him as a person if they know he’s gay.

On that note, let’s talk about how Isak approaches his coming out. Throughout the season, Isak frames his coming out in terms of what (or who) he does rather than who he is. Actions, not inherent characteristics. He's hooking up with Even. He likes someone and it’s not a girl. He has a boyfriend. Never “I’m gay.” We don’t see that until S4. And it makes sense because it’s likely easier for Isak to approach this by not defining himself as a person, but describing his actions, which will perhaps create less judgment. I mean, there’s a difference between saying “I’m a bad person” and “I did a bad thing,” for another example. He doesn’t want that label of gay because he has a specific idea of what gay means and he doesn’t want it to apply to him. He’s not ready for it.

Again, Eskild is really great when Isak says hooking up with Even doesn’t mean he’s gay. He doesn’t argue or laugh at him or be like pfffft, you’re definitely gay, baby Jesus. He’s just happy for Isak, which is why it stings when Isak decides to run his mouth by saying he’s not gay-gay “like you.” Ouch. Isak, for fuck’s sake. Why did you have to go and make it personal? JFC. Carl Martin plays Eskild’s hurt so well, you can see how much this is cutting into some deep wounds.

Again, we don’t know much about Eskild’s backstory, unfortunately, but you know this is all shit he’s heard before in various capacities, and it just sucks to hear it from someone you care about. To get told to your face by someone rushing to assert himself that he’s not like you. Because it doesn’t matter that Isak’s attempting to frame his comment as not being offensive, the thing is that he doesn’t want to be thought of like Eskild.

“I totally respect that you take the whole ‘gay package’ all the way, but I’m not like that.” You know, it didn’t really occur to me until now that when Isak says “gay package” he’s not just describing a set of stereotypically flamboyant characteristics. Like … to a degree he thinks there is an actual “gay package” that comes with a set of interests and mannerisms (gay test, dance instructor, etc.) To be gay you must be X and Y. Isak is not X and Y, therefore he is not gay. That’s why he’s separating himself from the label. Even’s comments about generalizing may have struck a chord with Isak but it’s not like they completely eradicated his internalized homophobia.

This scene just gets more painful as it goes on because Isak is aware that he’s putting his foot in his mouth, but he also just thinks his point is justified, and he doesn’t get the root of what’s offensive about it. He’s trying to act like he doesn’t have a problem with people being too gay, but he does - not so much on a personal judgmental level but mainly as how those Gay-Gays will reflect on himself. And Eskild is so clearly hurt but he’s still being patient with Isak, up until a point.

Also it’s painful because obviously Isak is in the wrong here, but it’s understandable why he says what he says. His insecurities are being laid so bare. Isak’s internalized homophobia really doesn’t have much to do with thinking he’s wrong for liking boys, thinking he’s dirty or broken or anything like that. It’s mainly to do with social perceptions, how people are going to see him or judge him for liking boys, how can Isak identify as gay if he doesn’t feel like he fits the label?

I think a lesser show would address this issue by validating Isak’s insecurities or mollifying them in a surface way like, IDK, having Eskild explain to Isak that just being he likes a boy doesn’t mean Isak has to behave in a certain way, being gay doesn’t mean you have to act like this or dress like that. Which of course is true, but that’s not the root of the problem here, which is that Isak’s thinking itself is flawed and offensive. Giving an answer like “You don’t have to behave a certain way if you’re gay” is like getting a hole in your shirt and holding it together with a safety pin, rather than patching it up.

I don’t blame Eskild at all for getting upset and having to walk out on Isak. He was being quite patient with him until he reached a breaking point, and this is obviously personal. Again, we don’t know Eskild’s backstory, but I would be willing to bet that he has experienced some of that harassment and hate firsthand. His delivery of his pride monologue is emotional but also measured. You know he is genuinely trying to bestow a lesson on Isak despite being upset. Maybe it’s a lesson that took Eskild some time to internalize himself.

Isak knows he messed up, and he feels shame over it. I think it’s good, though, that Eskild says yeah, you did mean to put yourself above it, because no matter how many times Isak was like “I have no problem with you taking the gay package all the way” or asserting that he’s not being negative, he really was.

Well, Isak, your first coming out to anyone would have gone pretty awesome if you had stopped talking at a certain point. Like this is far from the most disastrous it could have been, but I doubt Isak expected to get schooled. He’s not feeling so great, and then he gets the text that pours a truckload of salt in the wound.

This text from Even. Man. First of all, love that Julie shows the text, has Isak put the phone down, then look at it again, showing us the text once more, just to get across how much utter disbelief he is in. Fucking really? After what happened in the locker room, now Even wants to call it off? There are some excellent uses of timing and display of the text messages of Skam; it’s not just that they’re present, it’s that they’re edited into the show for maximum impact. (Another great use of timing with a text message is in episode 9 when Isak gets the text from his mother.)

As for the text itself, I want to mention how polite it is? It’s very carefully worded, you know Even was writing and rewriting this one a million times. Also, Even takes responsibility for the breakup and blames himself and apologizes. Like … as far as breakup texts go, this is about the nicest it could be.

In the script there was more from Even about “not meaning to give (Isak) false hope” and I’m glad they took it out because yeah, that is not really Even’s goal with this text, IMO. I think he’s trying not to hurt Isak as best as he can given the situation. Julie says they discussed in the editing room whether that extra line was too cold, and I think it would have been.

I don’t know how popular this opinion is, but knowing the full story of what’s happening with Even, I don’t think he actually did anything wrong in breaking up with Isak at this point. Isak didn’t leave him with any good options, honestly. Of course I feel awful for Isak, and we’re in his POV so it feels like we just got dumped too, we’re confused and hurt, but let’s look at this from Even’s POV. What are his options?

Stay with Isak while concealing his mental illness. This is what he eventually does, obviously, and it backfires in very drastic way. Hiding his bipolar disorder is going to be immensely stressful for Even, not to mention Even does not want to hurt Isak, which he thinks he will do eventually due to being mentally ill. We know that it’s not that cut-and-dry but Even has a lot of insecurities and a kind heart, and doesn’t want to cause anyone harm.

Tell Isak the truth. This is the ideal choice, perhaps, but can you blame Even for not doing so? He doesn’t want Isak to hate him and Isak has just made his thoughts on mentally ill people quite clear. Additionally, we know that Even was the subject of gossip and called crazy after the manic episode at Elvebakken, an incident that is still being discussed in gossip (as we know from Vilde’s later texts). Who’s to say Isak wouldn’t have told someone, prompting the rumor mill at Nissen, making Even the target of gossip at his new school as well as his old one? I mean I think Isak is better than that, but if you think about it, this is still early in their relationship, Even might like Isak but he can’t be sure that word of crazy-psycho Even will get out. I completely understand why Even would fear telling people.

Cut his losses, break it off with Isak for both their sakes. It will be painful for both of them, but Even probably thinks better now than later, when they’re deeper into a relationship and their feelings.

Clip 6 - Everything comes crashing down

Julie really punches Isak in the balls here, huh? Between this clip and the last, she removes all of Isak’s strongest support systems and makes all of his insecurities and the mounting problems explode. Last clip created a wound between Isak and Eskild and mysteriously ended the Isak/Even relationship just as it was finally getting off the ground. So how can we kick Isak when he’s down today?

This pre-drink happens at Magnus’ place according to the texts, by the way. No sign of his ❤️ mamma ❤️

David made up this wild story about Magnus’ sexcapades and I hope it’s not one of the ones that came from real life, lmao. Also apparently everyone was tired filming this scene because it was very early in the morning until they chugged some Red Bull and it came to life.

Isak just looks broken, man. The way he’s sitting there totally disengaged from this conversation and just drinking. He’s just so heartbroken and he doesn’t understand why Even did what he did. Clearly there had to be something else going on besides his random kinda vague text message.

In the script Julie had Isak reading over his text history with Even, probably searching for some clue as to why things have ended the way they did. (Julie said she didn’t know why this part was cut and maybe they just forgot to film it.) So he was extra checked out, the boys were talking and Isak was not paying attention.

He’s so palpably miserable that it’s kind of hard to buy that none of the other boys notice. I know teenage boys are not supposed to be the most emotionally perceptive, but like … these boys are, sort of! Or at least Jonas is; Jonas has picked up when Isak is having mom problems and he later picks up (in a scene that’s a callback to this one) that Isak is having Even problems without Isak vocalizing any of this. But I think at this point, Jonas is kind of done with Isak’s BS, the boys are still frosty with him because of the “family party” and missing Magnus’ birthday, so they’re just going to let Isak stew even if he seems upset. Which sounds harsh but … I’ve been there, on both sides of it. And Isak has been lying repeatedly, so it’s like, what’s the point? It’s not like he’s going to tell them the truth.

When Magnus was telling the boys about his Vilde S&M dream, Isak and Jonas were on the same page despite arguing just a minute previously, they were looking to each other and laughing over Magnus’ ridiculousness. Here Jonas isn’t trying for that connection with Isak. Not that Isak would reciprocate if he did.

I don’t know why it’s so funny to me that Magnus logic is like “I couldn’t bang this girl in the bathroom because there was no toilet lid” like ??????? Son, can you think of no other ways to proceed with sexual activity? As Mahdi mentions, there are other positions you can do.

I mean this story is 100% fake anyway, so.

I love that completely over-it look Isak gives Magnus when Mags starts talking about escaping through the window. Though you know, Isak and Magnus aren’t all that different in this regard, since Isak also has told his friends fake stories of sexual conquest. It’s just that Magnus goes into excessive TMI detail and Isak keeps his vague enough so that the boys can infer whatever they want from Isak’s tales of straight sex.

But also, Isak is done with this shit because of how Magnus can tell some ridiculous made-up story about hooking up with a girl so easily among friends, and this is all part of straight boy culture or whatever you want to call it - bonding over hetereosexual shenanigans- when Isak is left out of this by not being able to talk about his own romantic adventures. Magnus’ story is bullshit, Isak has a real story about sneaking into someone’s house to use their pool and kissing underwater. But he can’t share it at this time because it was a boy he was kissing. He’s just excluded from his friends again.

Magnus’ laugh is fucking glorious. It’s like a honk.

Nice little moment of Jonas being all “I put on a nice shirt for this” and Mahdi being all “you look good, bro.” Casually supportive bros are the best bros, bro.

Poor Isak. When he hears Emma’s name you can see he’s like, just what I fucking needed right now. And of course his friends start paying attention to him when they think he might be able to get them into this party. He looks so drained at all of this. Either he’s going to be excluded from his friends again or he’s got to endure a party hosted by the girl who hates him.

The subtitles say that Magnus says, “There’s just three of us” and I don’t know if there are any translation differences but like … there are four of you in the room, Magnus. Isak just might as well not be there. He’s as lively as the chair he’s sitting on. (Unless Magnus means “there are three of us” as in “there are three more people besides me” but I can’t tell). EDIT: from @skamenglishsubs: Magnus is just lying, because the larger the group, the less chance they have of getting into the party according to teenage logic

Not that I would have a lot of patience for Isak at this point either, from their POV, but ouch at Mahdi being all “Well, Isak can go to his ‘family dinner’ and the three of us can go to the party.” Mahdi really isn’t hiding that he knows Isak has telling them bullshit. Plus, Magnus being all “I forgive you for forgetting my birthday” is acknowledging that there was something to forgive in the first place, a reminder of Isak fucking up with his friends.

It’s not The Worst Thing Ever buuuuut there is something a bit messed up about how the boys pressure Isak into taking them to this party when he clearly doesn’t want to go. Also with them pressuring him to do the Emma pre-drink. I love the boy squad but you kind of get why, even apart from casually homophobic comments, Isak felt the need to perform with them. Even when he’s trying to say no, they’re goading him into it. They’re not bad people at all but the pressure to participate in all these social activities where the pursuit of girls is a primary objective is really strong.

Lol, I think Mahdi and Magnus just like to rap together, that’s a thing between them, as also seen in the clip where Isak comes out to them.

I have an idea that Emma threw a party as a way to get her mind off that guy who led her on and ditched her and turned out to be gay.

Not gonna lie, as an English speaker it’s pretty jarring to have a song with the N-word so prominently in this context, though I don’t know if it’s as startling for Norwegians.

I do find this a really memorable Skam walking scene, though. I looove the shots of the boys walking down the street, Isak trailing behind the other three, disconnected from the group.

Shout out to Jonas and Mahdi dancing in the streets, though. My boys!

Well, at least Isak wasn’t the only one who had a shit time at the party, judging by the girl who walks out without her shoes and flips off the one dude.

L m a o I fucking love how many people have noticed that this dude acting like a bouncer at Emma’s looks like such a piece of shit, like he time-traveled from the set of an ‘80s teen movie where he’s playing some evil preppie named Chad or Blaine from the rival rich kid summer camp who’s trying to turn the camp for the scrappy underdog heroes into a golf course. I mean this was some shockingly effective casting for a guy who’s on screen for a minute.

Bless Mahdi for calling out that guy for acting like a self-appointed doorman.

Why was Vilde hanging out with Blad, anyway? No wonder she’s happy to see Magnus, he’s at least entertaining compared to these insufferable bores.

You can see Even winding his way through the crowd, by the way, before Isak sees him.

Oh my God, Isak being so out of it and then waking up when he sees Even breaks my heart. You can see his heart jump-start. And then he just has to get into this party. He needs to talk to Even, figure out what went wrong.

Shout out to the bro nod Isak exchanges with Sana on his quest for Even.

If Isak managed to make it to Even without Sonja reappearing, how do you think the exchange would have gone? Fraught, for sure. I feel like we don’t see a lot of confrontation between Isak and Even in canon to know how it would’ve gone, like I think Even would’ve been pretty shook and trying to hide that he was hurting but I’m not sure how it would’ve gone with Isak. I don’t think he’d be as downcast or muted as the cafeteria encounter later - this is a fresh wound and Isak is really confused. I doubt he would’ve been angry and started yelling or confronting Even directly in public, but I think he would’ve tried to be more forceful and upset. And I’m not sure how Even would’ve explained himself; it’s one thing to write a text message that you can word carefully and edit before you send, it’s another to see the boy you’re basically in love with a day after you broke up with him, wanting to know what went wrong. Like Even is smooth but maybe not that smooth. How is he going to tell Isak to his face that he doesn’t want to be with him?

Actually, think about how awkward it would’ve been if Isak and Even were talking and then Sonja showed up.

Even’s up on some kind of platform/elevation with just that one guy, and I kind of wonder if he went up there by himself to get some breathing room or get a minute to think until a guy he knows from class or whoever he is came up and decided to chat. I think Even is really, really good at concealing when he’s hurting or struggling.

Case in point, Even looks really good in this scene. Peak hair, peak attire, seeming happy and healthy. Isak can’t even sit there with his friends without his misery pouring out of him, written all over his face, but Even is apparently doing totally fine a day after breaking up with Isak, and that really has to sting for Isak. Not even just that Even broke up with him, but that he’s not visibly suffering over it.

Tbh, I wondered why Even was at this party considering Emma cannot be a big fan of him right now. IDK, I guess maybe he showed up with some people he knows from class? Or Sonja invited him? Maybe some of it depends on what you think Sonja told Emma about Isak and Even. I doubt Sonja told Emma about Even’s MI but maybe she told Emma something like “Even was confused” and implied she would get back with him. So Emma maybe wanted to help out her cool older friend Sonja by putting Sonja and Even at the same place so they could reunite?

Isak certainly could have apologized to Emma sooner and in a better situation, but it’s nice that he does at least acknowledge he was being shitty and apologizes to her here, even with the little effect it has.

Isak is so stressed over running into Emma, Tarjei does this reaction well. And on man, the way Isak’s face changes when Emma says he’s gay. What a nightmare for him. She knows. He’s too shocked to argue or respond in any way.

“It’s 2016, Isak. Get out of the closet!” lol the moment when a lot of us lost a lot of sympathy for Emma

For what it’s worth, I think this is clearly not an author-endorsed statement considering Emma is pointedly shown to have some ignorant viewpoints about gay people. Plus, the previous clip contained a passionate call for respect of gay pride with acknowledgment of what LGBT people go through (harassment, violence, death) so I think it’s obvious that the show knows it’s difficult to come out even in 2016.

Though this is just making me think of Emma being all “Eskild is hilarious, gay people are so funny” and what his response might be if she said, “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” in front of him. I doubt it would be hilarious.

I don’t think Emma is a terrible person. She’s just very, very uninformed and is unaware of her straight privilege. And while I am sympathetic to her in being led on by Isak, not gonna lie, it’s harder for me to feel sympathy when she has the least stakes out of this love quadrangle? Sonja is losing her boyfriend of several years, who has cheated on her and suddenly left her for someone else. Even is dealing with how his mental illness affects his relationships with Sonja and Isak. Isak is dealing with internal and external homophobia. Emma … made out with a dude twice at parties and he turned out to be gay. It is shitty of him to lead her on but he also was not in any official relationship with her and they didn’t know each other that well. Like. She will get over it.

“Hold My Liquor” was supposed to start playing here, after Emma tells Isak he’s gay, according to the script. I think it’s a good choice to keep the random party music and only start with Kanye toward the very end, when everything has gone to shit. We needed that iconic BITCH I’M BACK OUT MY COMA when Isak is beating up bushes.

Goddamn, Isak looks up at just the worst moment, doesn’t he? You wonder what would have happened if he hadn’t run out of the party, if Even and Sonja kept kissing or Even pulls away or what.

There were SO many theories about what exactly happened with Even, Sonja, and the random blond dude! Straightforward theories that Even was lying about breaking up with Sonja all along. Theories that Even needed to pretend to be in a relationship with Sonja for some reason, like to protect himself against homophobia. Theories that the guy was hitting on Even and Sonja showed up to lay a smooch on Even because she was helping him to deter this random guy. And it’s kind of interesting because we never really get a clear-cut answer as to what happened. I think it’s easy enough to guess from later context, but it’s not like Even ever goes, “Well, actually, Isak, when Sonja kissed me it was because she is an alien from a galaxy far far away where she needs lip-to-lip contact to collect nutrients from human beings.” There is a lot of wiggle room as to what was happening on Even’s side of S3 between the break-up text and the Evak reunion in episode 7.

Because we don’t have clear-cut answers, I guess I’ll do some projection. I like Sonja but I think she didn’t quite buy into Even leaving her at this point, probably because she does chalk up his interest in Isak to Even’s mental illness, or out of denial at her own relationship ending. So when she runs into Even here, she goes in for the kiss because they’re Sonja and Even, that’s what they do, they’re a couple. They were on a break but that’s it, just a break, not permanent. Sonja is the one to initiate the kiss and she seems pretty confident about it. And Even, I think, just goes along because he’s upset over Isak, and because Sonja is comforting, he can depend on their relationship. To me he seems a little resigned, happy to see her (because she is an important person in his life) but not overly enthusiastic to kiss her.

We never get answers as to whether Even and Sonja officially got back together for a time after this, or if this was a one-off kiss, or something in between. Personally I lean toward Even and Sonja not really getting back together all the way or if so, it being fleeting and ending well before Even shows up at Isak’s door in episode 7. Just because I think it makes more sense that Even is not with Sonja at that point.

This Magnus/Vilde scene was improv by the actors according to the script. Vilde didn’t see anyone she wanted to hook up with, and I mean, if her choices were ‘80s teen movie villains I completely understand. Plus Eva is occupied with P-Chris.

Mahdi, you played the “family dinner” joke one too many times, and you happened to catch Isak at a very bad place. One of the boys laughs at the family dinner comment and I think it’s Jonas? Which would suck for Isak since Jonas is usually Team Isak. They’re all just united against Isak’s crap. But Jonas here realizes again that something is really wrong with Isak, it has to be more than just moodiness and snottiness.

I have Opinions on how people bring up this incident in relationship to Isak hitting Mikael in S4 and how it’s not really the same thing, and this scene doesn’t make the one in S4 feel more IC, but maybe I should save those for S4 recaps.

BITCH I’M BACK OUT MY COMA

Let’s recap. Isak inadvertently insulted Eskild, hurting his feelings, and got scolded by him. Emma knows he is gay. The boys are shutting him out and Isak just made things worse by shoving Mahdi. And Even broke up with him and is back to kissing Sonja. It’s all adding up to break Isak, though I do think the situation with Even is what’s causing him the worst pain, because in a way his feelings for Even have been the catalyst for everything else that’s gone wrong and now he doesn’t even have Even. And he can’t talk to anyone about this because he’s either not out to people, or the few people who know he is gay are mad at him or smooching their not-so-ex girlfriends.

This scene of Isak lashing out at bushes could have been overly melodramatic and unintentionally comedic, but Julie knows to keep the editing short and not go over the top. It helps that we see only the back of Isak because that’s really all we need, right? I’m sure Tarjei would knock it out of the park with his facial expressions but we don’t need to see them, Isak’s state of mind is communicated by him lashing out, and the ending cry of frustration and sobs as he falls to his knees. I think shooting him from the back kept it from going too OTT.

And we go silent for the credits just to end on a bleak note. And then we went silent for 10 days.

I mean, except for analyzing moles and areolae.

General Comments

To elaborate on the mole/areolae analysis, I hope everyone has seen the hiatus trailer that aired after this episode. Because oh my God, that hiatus trailer. People were going WILD with the theories. Numerous screencaps were taken and compared to note similarities in nipples and moles among characters. The consensus was that the trailer is definitely two people fucking, but who could it be???? Isak and Even? That totally looked like a girl boob, was that Even and Sonja? Or were Isak and Emma going to hook up? Was it not a girl and Isak going to sleep with another guy? Some rando from Grindr? Eskild? Jonas? Penetrator Chris??? If these ideas seem outlandish, I am telling you the truth, these were all real theories floated about.

And then lol, it turned out to be Isak and Even. Surprise. It’s footage from the end of episode 7.

(I’m just going to throw it out there, not all of the footage from the hiatus trailer made it into the final clip, so somewhere Julie has extra footage of the first Isak/Even sex scene. You’re welcome.)

On the social media front, we see pics of Magnus’ birthday party on Jonas’ IG and Magnus apparently was in some proximity to Vilde.

When Isak texts Even post-cuddle scene, Even texts him back at 21:21, so you know he’s a sappy fucker, but it took him several hours to text back and he dodges any real explanation of what’s up with him (I was at my aunt’s house, swimming! JK btw you’re hot).

Though “You look hot when you’re sleeping” is some Grade-A thirst, yowza.

Also the boys were texting Isak about Magnus’ party but he ignored them. Too loved up in Even’s arms. Then days later (after the “family meeting clip”) he’s like “WHOOPS didn’t see this, I didn’t have 3G.” Jonas doesn’t anything to respond except a thumbs up emoji. Because Isak being all “let’s do it again this weekend” is some BS when he’s probably just going to ditch them again.

We get a Kollektivet text mentioning PK, the caretaker, who apparently Eskild and Linn have a weird relationship with. Tell me more about this, kollektivet family! Who is this mysterious PK? There was an IG story of him with Isak, I believe. EDIT: @skamenglishsubs sent me some links to the PK-and-Isak content. Thank you!

And Eskild drops in a casual “You could’ve met (PK) on Saturday if you didn’t stay in your room all weekend.” HmmmmMMM.

An underrated text: Magnus roasting Jonas about being an anti-capitalist hipster.

There’s a little foreshadowing of sorts in that text: Magnus says his ❤️ mamma ❤️ will find him a job for OD. Tiny thing but it is establishing that Magnus thinks his mother is the best.

#skam reactions #skam season 3 #skam #isak valtersen #evak

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hashtagkairideservedbetter · 6 years ago

Text

My main issue(s) with KH3

Spoilers abound, so please don’t read if you haven’t beaten the game or don’t want any negative opinions influencing how you see the ending/ the game. I did enjoy several parts of KH3, but this post is focused on things I had issues with, and if you don’t want to see criticism of your media please look elsewhere.

This is how I interpreted the game as someone coming into KH3 with KH2 being the last game I played, and a playlist of youtube videos spanning lets plays, summaries, and humorous deconstructions as a codex.

Here’s the thing. I’ve seen several people already break down how KH3′s story and pacing could have been handled better. Specifically, to more comprehensively tie in the 10,000 plot points that needed to be covered in a way that actually helps connect the main characters. I’m not going to get into all of that, because frankly I can’t fake knowing enough about the background lore of Kingdom Hearts to know how to better juggle all of the intermediary games into KH3.

Most of my grievances honestly lie with the handling of the Destiny Trio and the Disney Worlds.

I’m going to do a read more on this because it’s gonna be a long one. (Also very much a train of thought, so disorganized, sorry).

So. Sora. Protagonist of the game (mostly. kind of?).

A cheerful ray of sunshine.

A Keyblade wielder who has overcome traumatizing ordeals that tore him away from all he loved and knew at least twice now for over three years.

A continuity disaster stuck being pinballed back and forth between happy goofs and hollow tragedies every thirty minutes in between busywork battles and off-scene disney films for 85% of KH3.

I understand that Sora’s greatest power is supposed to be his optimism, as it’s sort of the prerequisite for going through disney worlds where people sing about their problems. I get it.

However, there’s a difference between, “I’m naive and happy and oblivious and that’s why I’m a guardian of the light,” and “I have battled true darkness and felt true loss and decided that choosing to be kind, choosing to embrace joy in new experiences and relationships, is a bigger middle finger to the darkness than anything else.” Guess which one I prefer. Guess which one I was thinking would finally be Sora’s character arc. Instead he’s happy, happy, happy, happy... and then suddenly in the eleventh hour having a mental breakdown.

Sora is written into a loop every game of kind, naive, but unchanging (”Don’t ever change, Sora”). That was endearing when we were both 14, but after almost twenty years it gets tiring to watch Sora get hit with a reset button every time you meet up with him again. There’s a scene in the gummi ship early on in the games where Donald asks Sora to “take this seriously,” and Goofy remarks that they seem to be stuck in a rut as Donald and Sora have the same conversation over and over again before entering the first series of Disney worlds. Sora knows he needs the power of waking in order to help his friends and free those trapped in his heart, but seems content to just drop into various worlds and wing it, and hope that it all sort of works out.

And then when it does work out, and Sora uses the power to save everyone, he’s immediately told he’s doomed now? Like, what was the point of him being able to use this to connect with people if he’s doomed. Why did they want him to have this. What’s the point then of Sora having these strong connections.

Each world makes a big scene about the friendships and connections that Sora makes so easily, but in KH3 there never seems to be enough time for Sora to actually pay them any attention unless the person is right in front of him. Sora seems to make connections for the sake of making connections in KH3, and the ones he has, he does very little to advance or reconnect with.

Like, the whole point of 100 Acre Wood this time was apparently that Sora’s connection to Pooh was weaker for some reason. I honestly didn’t understand the reason or how it was magically resolved just from Sora showing up and saying hi? But whatever.

My two least favorite worlds were Corona and Arendelle, for the same reason. There was no believable connection between Sora and the characters there. For fuck’s sake, the combat ally you get in Arendelle is the snow monster, not even a main character.

Sora is like the living embodiment of the B99 clip of Rosa with her dog. He just met Elsa and spoke a whopping five sentences to her, but damn if he won’t climb a mountain five times just for her to save herself without ever talking to him again. Like, literally that is the only interaction Sora has with Elsa. Same thing with Anna, and in her case I literally had to mute my tv so I could track what she was actually saying since they decided to shove two songs from the movie into this game.

You spend the majority of your time in these worlds trying to play catch up to the leads as they have their movie play out around the bend in the road in front of you, out of your sight. Props to Disney’s ego that they think I remember the beat by beat plots of their films when they came out 9 years ago (Tangled) and 6 years ago (Frozen). I actually had the thought of going and watching Tangled just to remember what Flynn and Rapunzel got up to while Sora wandered around a marsh and had a pointless conversation with Marluxia.

(Also, getting real tired of the “Good to see you Sora” “Who the fuck are you?” “Oh that’s right you don’t remember that game haha it’s fine it was a gameboy game nobody even knows what those are anymore.” That shit was getting old midway through KH2.)

To be fair, the PoTC world suffers from the same problem as the other two. Sora shows up, sees everyone for thirty seconds, gets separated, and while we’re dicking around trying to find white crabs on the islands there’s a whole movie going on that we don’t see or participate in. I feel really bad for anyone who did not keep up with that franchise because I only watched the third movie the once and I was confused as hell. Also, the whole time I was finding the crabs in Port Royal all I could think about was this ProZD video.

I just. I’m 26 years old. These movies hold no nostalgia for me, and maybe that’s the problem. I already had a connection to Aladdin, Peter Pan, etc, so I was maybe more willing to suspend my disbelief and just enjoy the interactions. But those Disney worlds also felt more tied in to the plot. You can make the argument of Marluxia and Larxene putting pressure on Sora to find the Wayfinders so that six princesses of heart aren’t used as backup... but where are the other three? Anna, Elsa, Rapunzel, and Kairi make four. Where’s Merida, Tiana, Moana? Mulan or Pocahontas even, since Moana was probably too recent. (But probs not, as it was probably starting development in 2014). If that’s going to be yet another subplot, shouldn’t you at least see it through?

My point is, I can distinctly recall prior games mostly keeping to the established script in the disney worlds, but still letting Sora really get in there and interact with the characters. The heartless, nobodies, etc were a real wrench in the works for the plots, and had an actual effect on how the story was told and the order of events. Sora felt more involved in cutscenes and was an active participant in the world’s events instead of just a bystander.

In KH1 and KH2 there was a dialogue happening between the villain of each world and a greater evil. Hell, in KH1 they were a unified council! In KH3 they’re puppets who don’t even talk to the bigger bad like Randall or Mother Gothel, or are there for a whopping thirty seconds like Hans. It makes it more and more obvious that the Disney worlds are just being shoehorned in as a contractual obligation than for any real purpose anymore.

The only world that’s appeared in all three games, Olympus, was especially jarring. Like, you could tell there was a lot of corners cut on what VAs they could get for this game, as Phil does not speak once. Meg spends more time making eyes at Hercules and nodding than showing any of the sass she has from the film. (This was a thing in KH2 as well tho so I can’t complain about them continuing to drop the ball on even background women characters-- Oh wait, I can, because they’ve had T H I R T E E N YEARS to get it right.)

Which I guess is as good a segue as any into Kairi Time.

Listen. Did I mention I’m 26? Yeah. I started reading fanfic on livejournal. I was there when AO3 first got its start. I’ve seen the shipping wars. I know the dark past of Soriku vs Sokai.

I couldn’t give less of a fuck.

These characters are still 16 and I am now 26. I’m fine with them trading noogies and maybe being able to kick back and play some Mario Kart. Kairi would wipe the floor with both of them because she had time to get good enough to beat Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie combined between KH1 and KH2.

The point is, I don't care one way or the other about shipping. If my 15 year old self were here, they would be horrified I wasn't over the moon when Kairi and Sora finally shared the paopu fruit. As it is, I kind of stared blankly at my screen and went 'huh, there's gonna be a lot of fanfic fixing this moment.' From both sides, I think, because even if you're into Sokai you gotta admit that moment did not feel romantic. It felt forced. Like "Oh hey, we've been putting this off, huh. Welp, here we go!"

It doesn't help that I really, truly, don't like whoever Kairi's VA is in this game. Like, she sounds so ditzy and soft. Get that shit out of here. The dialogue and voice acting in this series has never been its strength, but honestly, I cringed my way through every interaction between Kairi and Axel because of how stilted and bad their conversations were! I’m definitely not saying that Kairi’s voice was stellar in 1 and 2, but at least her voice was clear, and had personality, and by the end of 2 was actually fairly strong. She sounded strong, and determined to be fighting with Sora and Riku, green as she was then, in the World That Never Was.

Whenever she talked in the third one I just sort of grit my teeth and wondered why someone on the production team wanted Kairi to sound so weak.

Then they killed her at the labyrinth and I said, ‘Ah, that tracks.’

I played FFXV, so I guess shame on me for not seeing the signs when the girl love interest is about to be capable and not needing the hero to save her. She gets taken! And killed. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I actually saw people excited about that Verum Rex thing and after seeing the Noctis ripoff reaching for the Luna ripoff covered in purple light I laughed, and laughed. And then sighed and reached for a stiff drink.

All this to say that while I’m angry but not truly surprised that Kairi was once again shafted, I’m all the more pissed that they did it in the laziest, most insulting way possible by hinging it all on Sora needing a reason to fight Xehanort. Like, really???? Really. That’s your angle. The man-pain trope is so painfully overdone. Please. It’s 2019. Come into the future with us, Nomura.

And I feel bad that all of the stuff I just wrote mostly revolves around Kairi being Sora’s romantic interest. But that’s because that’s all this game allowed her to be! Princess of light what? Bequeathed Keyblade wielder in her own right who??? Every battle she and Axel share with Sora they get their asses kicked in 30 seconds flat, so maybe Merlin should have left them suspended in time a little longer. Maybe long enough to convince someone out there in the universe that these two deserved to be competent.

Hell, not just competent. Amazing. Kairi deserved to be able to stand on her own two feet and hold her own. To be running alongside her boys and not just be an object for them to tussle over or save. As Aqua’s somewhat successor, she deserved to be a terrifying wielder of battle magicks and flurries of light magic.

To be replaced by Xion was just insult to injury. Like, I’m very happy that Xion got her heart back and was reunited with Roxas and Axel, but she didn’t need to be brought back at Kairi’s expense. The world won’t implode if the replica and actual person inhabit the same space.

Which is leads us to our third member.

Riku. To be fair. Riku got the most growth as a person out of the three of these kids, easy. We finally see a Riku who is confident in himself and his journey, and willing to take everything he learned along the way to help Mickey, Aqua, and even his own replica. However....

He doesn’t seem to give two shits about Kairi anymore? Did they even talk, like, once during the whole game? I can’t recall a single instance where Sora, Kairi, and Riku were in the same place together where it was just them, and they held an actual conversation. Hell, where they even said “Hi, how’s it going? What have you learned, had any good food lately?”

God, even when Kairi was taken, and then when she was killed, Riku had one moment of anger, and then was completely, like, chill again, and back to talking Sora down. Like, what? I don’t want any love triangle bullshit, but Riku and Kairi were friends as much as Sora and Kairi and Sora and Riku are friends.

And that’s what bothered me the most about the disappearance of Kairi introducing this bullshit narrative of Sora abusing his power of waking. He spent two games trying to get him, Riku, and Kairi together. But he doesn’t want Riku to help him get Kairi back? And Riku’s just going to let him go?! After all Riku has done and learned about falling to darkness and clawing yourself back to light and peace, he’s just going to let Sora do the same?

I call bullshit.

And this is why when Sora suddenly faded out of view on the beach next to Kairi I slowly leaned back in my chair, dropped my controller into my lap, and flipped off my tv screen with both hands.

#vent #kh3 spoilers #kh3 #writing criticism #give these kids the happy ending they deserve #they can be paired in any combo you want #but let them be happy

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cosmosogler · 6 years ago

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hello everyone.

today i did actually make my lunch and get to campus around 11:40 or so. i worked for a while until rebika showed up, which is when i took a small lunch break, and then we worked together for about two hours. i finished two practice problems- one full problem, most of another, and 1/4 of a third. ammar came to help, and adamya made a guest appearance, and mainak also helped a bit. so we had a whole adventure. we didn’t solve the problem we were having, which is why one problem got left at “mostly finished.”

i came home around 3:30 and got to work drawing. i talked with oz for a while, which was nice and kept me focused on my project, since i can’t read and talk on the phone at the same time.

i had an alright dinner, and i did my dishes and some chores, and i started listening to welcome to night vale. i really liked it so i listened through four episodes while i worked. hearing “the bus is late” as a “weather report” probably made me the most delighted i’ve felt in days. i was so surprised by this wonderful song.

comic wise i finished over an entire page of drawing. i’ve got four panels left in scene 3, and then scene 4 is also three pages. i look at the endless expanse of panels to finish before i can post these tiny story tidbits and i weep.

i ended up changing a lot of things from my boards but i think the final drafts of these next two scenes work a lot better as, like... showing the reader that we and nas don’t really know the main character anymore. her friend’s been replaced by a terrifying volatile asshole.

it’s good.

anyway doing practice problems made me feel a little better again, even though i noticed i was STILL having too much trouble getting started on problems without a set of directions in front of me. when i almost fell asleep while i was actively in the process of writing equations in my ipad i called it a day. too stressed i guess. or something. maybe i need more sleep. i probably need more sleep in addition to my many other problems. snoopy isn’t helping.

i feel like whenever i bring up my feelings all i can think or talk about is how lonely i feel. makes me feel pathetic. this should be an easy problem to solve. i hate going through the process of making friends though, deciding when and when not to be “vulnerable,” getting furious with myself every time i feel like i overshared, beating myself up when i let a conversation die because i didn’t share... i’m 25! i’m almost 26!! i should be better at this by now!!!

i hate making friends and then getting ditched, or worse. it could be so much worse than getting ditched... it makes it hard to invest. it makes it hard to be interested in other people when i spend the whole conversation sweating over whether or not to tell this or that story, or share how bad i’m feeling.

but the longer i go without talking to people the less interested i feel in it (even though the desire to be heard never goes away at all), and the less... “able” i feel to do it. reality gets all tangled up and things kinda happen around me and it feels like a dream. but i know i gotta get up and react to the world, because i know in my head it’s probably not a dream. and even if it is, when i get hurt in my dreams, it hurts! so either way i gotta pay attention, and i have no energy to pay attention.

i feel so powerless. when i would hang out with my classmates i felt so unseen. people would talk over me even after i had started a sentence. i look at these other people and i don’t know what to do. i don’t know how to make myself likable to them and turn myself into a friend. i look at the physics problems and i don’t know how to make myself remember how to do physics. like if i don’t have the answer in front of me, the instructions, i just kind of look at it helplessly. even though when i look at the answer my brain immediately puts together how everything works and i am able to explain it to my classmates (their own math, by the way, i was following- they needed me to explain their answer to them). i feel so dopey. i have all these different things and ideas and i can’t put any of them together to make an answer. socially, academically, financially...

at least with making phone calls and stuff i can write down a general set of directions and then follow them. you know, “introduce yourself, give some context, say what the problem is, wait for their questions.” i have clear small steps i can follow.

but i have so much trouble breaking other things down. even doing the dishes i kind of gawk down at the sink for a few minutes. even if there’s, like, only a plate and a fork in there it feels like Doing Dishes, Which Takes Ten Minutes.

i noticed last semester in therapy, with that counselor who made me feel bad, i couldn’t break myself down either. that’s what she was trying to do. break me into different pieces to see how they each worked in a more manageable way. but i couldn’t really get behind that idea. the part of me that feels sad all the time is the same part of me that likes doing physics. it’s One Unit, Which Has A Lot Of Feelings. untangling those feelings turns into a huge ordeal because i can’t break myself down into clear small bits that are easy to figure out individually.

i do that with words and ideas too. i have trouble distinguishing between things sometimes, or seeing what the point of separating them is. i could not articulate that concept (or lack of a concept, i guess) to harrison a few weeks ago and we argued about it for hours because i couldn’t make him understand how i saw it. i feel like no one understands how i see it because even i can’t understand how i see it. i can’t even figure out how to describe an example here. we were arguing about platonic ideals and perfection and i said the idea of perfection was complete nonsense to me. things aren’t “perfect” or “imperfect.” they just “are” how they “are.”

i can see why the idea of a platonic ideal, the “perfect chair” or whatever, is useful for common language, but at the same time... that way of looking at the world lends itself well to seeing imperfections everywhere and judging those imperfections as inferior to that imaginary ideal.

like christianity and sin. “nobody’s perfect.” you just are what you are. you change, and grow, and shrink in other ways, and you’re always changing in little ways even as you remain yourself, but that’s not imperfect or perfect. it’s just existing.

and yet... i argue semantics endlessly and i never get bored of making stupid distinctions between words, choosing every one carefully, even when i’m just rambling for hours like this. picking apart other people’s words. why do i even care? do i know what they meant? do they know what they meant? why is the distinction there so important to me when i don’t even like the tools we use to make language into coherent communication?

see i got all turned around. i wanted to talk about why i’m having so much trouble solving physics problems and it turned into an overwhelming philosophical question. navel gazing. i can’t tell if it’s a bad habit or not. probably a mixed bag. it’s not helping me right now.

i feel like... there’s something wrong in my life. something wrong in the way i am able to interact with my life. that disconnect is making all these different aspects of my life break and become much harder than they need to be. much harder than they are for “normal” people.

i could blame my upbringing. i could blame my parents. i’d probably be right, too. but at some point i gotta get up and move on and take care of myself and start having all those skills that normal people my age have. like basic problem solving. “learning how to think critically.” and i feel like i’m not doing that. but i have no idea how to even start.

worse yet, i get the feeling i probably do have those skills and there’s something else i’m not getting, but i can’t see the ACTUAL problem because my confidence is all shot to hell.

i can’t tell what’s really happening. i can’t tell what’s real. i wish someone else could tell me or teach me how to tell for myself. i have no idea how i look to other people, and i have no idea how to describe my personality or my being most of the time. i have no idea how to describe my life other than “i am very unhappy now, and i have been unhappy for a very long time,” and i know that comes off as pathetic and most people will just call me a pessimist.

but i am, truly, very unhappy. and i have been for a very long time.

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chellann-nicollares · 7 years ago

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Exam Survival Guide

As September is coming to an end, I realized that a lot of you MB kids out there are probably stressing out about midterm exams. I did too as a college freshman. In fact, I almost failed my very first midterm. But I’ve learned to work harder and smarter and eventually graduated cum laude. I’ve put everything that works well for exam prep into a step by step attack plan that you can follow (yes, massive nerd=me). I really hope y’all find this helpful. I just want you kids to do well, ya know? ;) Let’s get into it!

Step 1: Categorize Your Exams.

This means determining what kind of skill your upcoming exam is testing you on. I’ve found that the vast majority of exams fall into the following three categories:

- Category I: memorization test. These are your survey classes of an entire field such as intro psychology or intro astronomy, your social sciences such as American politics, and your second language requirement courses on the intro level--beginner French/Spanish, etc., even some upper level science classes such as neuroscience. If your course introduces a vast amount of information and don’t delve too deep into it, or is very heavily reliant on teaching you vocabulary and concepts of the field, your exam is very likely memorization-focused. You will be asked to do IDs--look at a concept and define them from memory, talk about important people or discoveries in this field, fill in the blank with the correct conjugation, listen to a segment of music and write down who composed it, etc. You will be pulling things from memory and putting them on paper.

- Category II: skill application test. These are those classes where you are taught formulas and algorithms and expected to know how to use them in new situations. These are your calculus and statistics and other maths classes, your hard sciences, your engineering. This is the type of classes where your assignments are problem sets instead of readings. Your exam will come as a set of problems where you need to use principles and formulas, show you work, and reach the correctly calculated result.

- Category III: writing test. These classes are based in deep reading--reading large quantities of text and developing deeper understandings and perspectives on them. That would be your philosophy and literature classes, your film theory, your seminar classes. This is the type of classes where you need to express your perspective on the topics to show both understanding and originality. Your exam will come in a small number of essay questions where the professor will give you questions that ask you to talk smartly, e.g. how do the perspectives of Big Shot A interact with that of Big Shot B on this particular topic? What is your take on Big Shot C’s use of [insert archaic art theory] in the oh-so-famous-piece-of-work?

Granted, your will have exams that are a combination or two or more of these categories. Economics is a good example: you may be ask to both define what the federal reserve is and demonstrate how they calculate their rates. But overall, think of your exams in terms of what they want from you. Now that we’ve named the beasts you’re fighting, let’s look at the weapons.

Step 2: List Your Review Tasks for Each Exam by Category.

- Category I: your exam is testing memory, and what you need to do is--memorize!! You need to figure out what it is that works best for you to remember the important stuff. Your tasks here would be to 1) review your notes and skim or even re-read your assigned readings, 2) put your IDs and other things that will likely be tested into one document or list, 3) read them out loud, make flash cards, get into study groups with your friends and test each other, whatever you need to help you memorize (*cough* flash cards *cough*).

- Category II: now you got problems, and I do think you can solve them. You also start from your notes and 1) review what theories/principles you’ve learned, 2) review and possibly rework your assigned problem sets, 3) pay special attention to questions you got wrong--make sure you read the correct calculation process and perform it yourself. 4) This is also the type of exams where if you have something that you don’t understand, ask for help immediately. Go to office hours, email your TA, make sure you comb through the confusion because the course is likely to build week by week upon the previous knowledge you’ve acquired. If you don’t know how to calculate exponentials in writing, you’ll be in a big world of hurt when you are expected to graph them. Put asking the professor/TA into your task list to give yourself an extra push.

- Category III: for this category, your notes and your readings are the most important. 1) you gotta re-read your notes carefully--what topics of discussion did your professor specifically raise in class? Were there particular points made that she really liked? What kind of comments did she keep giving? This will help you gauge how the professor thinks about the subject and how they might test on them. 2) If you have time, and especially if you haven’t done this during the semester, read your assigned texts carefully and annotate them. Annotation can be as simple as summarizing what a paragraph is trying to say, pulling out a key concept that helps you sound really smart, or jotting down your personal thoughts inspired by the reading. All of these will help you write a smarter response. 3) Consider practicing writing a few paragraphs of reflection on your readings. This will help you work out the kinks in how to establish a position and elaborate upon it in a coherent flow. This is basically what you’re asked to do in a Category III exam. 4) If you have time, also talk to your professors and TAs on things you don’t understand and gauge their perspectives.

Step 3: Figure out How Much Time You Have.

This step is the easiest. Mark all of your exams on the calendar and look at how many days you have in between. Which days do you have classes? How many hours do you have in between classes and is that enough time to go to the library and make some flash cards? How many hours at the end of the day and during the weekend are you willing to devote to studying? I would mark the time intervals that you can use to study on your calendar as well.

Step 4: Figure out How Much Time You Need.

How many sessions have you had for the course? Sit down, put your timer on and do everything on your task list to review the material of one session, see how long it took you and multiply by the number of sessions you had. That’s your rough estimate. Now do this for all your courses.

Step 5: Make Your Day by Day Attack Plan.

This is the last step of your planning. Now you pull out your calendar, and fit your tasks into your available time slots. Do this with the following considerations:

1) Do you need to choose your battles or make more time? If you’ve figured out that you only have 30 hours in the next two weeks, you have three exams and they require 35 hours in total, for example, then you may need to cut a few tasks. Is there one class that you really don’t need to re-read every single thing and instead skim the important sections? Is you poli-sci midterm worth 30% of your grade while the film theory one is only 15%? Should you put off that movie you wanna see until after exams and get 2 extra hours in? It’s better to know whether you’re going to run out of time before you start. Trust me. This is also why you should start early. If you give yourself two weeks instead of one, you won’t feet pressured to rush through the review.

2) Alternate your subjects and review activities. Don’t plan to sit in the same spot and read art theory papers for four hours unless that’s just how you roll. Make some flash cards from 2-3pm, read your notes from a different class from 3-4, and look over questions you got wrong in your problem sets after dinner. You would have had a very productive study day without murderous impulsive thoughts.

3) Put it all in writing and stick to it. You want specific hours in each day and what to do during those hours, and put satisfying little check marks on what you’ve completed. You can do this in a planner book, in your E-calendar, or even print out a calendar on a piece of paper and write your tasks in the boxes. I’ll give you a fictional example:

9/28 Thurs

2-3 pm: read intro psych section 1 notes and make flash cards

6-7:30 pm: re-work wrong questions in statistics problem set 1

9/30 Sat

10-11:30: re-read poli-sci book chapter and assigned articles from session 2 and compile ID list document

2-4:30: re-read film theory Mulvey writing, annotate, and write a three-paragraph reflection on her theories

5 pm: grab coffee with #$^%&^% person and go through some poli-sci IDs.

As you can see, if you know exactly what your exams want from you, make to-do lists accordingly and fit them into specific time intervals of each day, your exam review is very manageable. You know exactly what to do and don’t need to feel like you need to chain yourself to your desk all day. You would also know exactly what you already achieved and feel wonderful about it. If you have any questions about this, feel free to ask me! Now go and crush your exams.

#exam tips

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comicteaparty · 5 years ago

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August 12th-August 18th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from August 12th, 2019 to August 18th, 2019. The chat focused on Catians: Resurrection by Cortney Cameron (Writer) and Luyi Bennett (Artist).

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Catians: Resurrection by Cortney Cameron (Writer) and Luyi Bennett (Artist)~! (https://catians.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until August 18th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. Do you think there will be any larger consequences to Rose’s brutal rampage, especially in terms of how human society might react to rumors of the guardians? Overall, how does Rose’s brutal rampage make you feel about her as a character?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Do you think Rose is gone for good, or can she somehow be saved? If she is saved, how do you think she might be changed as a person. Also, how will Rose’s absence, and the second tail’s absence, affect the guardians?

RebelVampire

1) My favorite scene is probably the one where Rose gets swallowed by her own creation. The story starts off really kind of light-hearted, gets a bit of a dark twist, and then everything culminates in that scene. It was the right blend of both unexpected yet totally sensible that really made it stick with me and kind of scare me a bit. So I appreciate it for being able to inspire that feeling in me. 2) I kind of feel like at least the cops are gonna notice something. Like maybe there'll be that one nosy detective who everyone thinks is crazy but is constantly noticing all the weird stuff going on and insisting they investigate. Thus, the guardians will have their activities hampered cause at leat one person will be suspicious. I don't know how to feel about Rose's character other than she's a good showcase of what happens when you don't address grief properly. Cause you wind up going down the crazy street and releasing your emotions in...well not so good ways.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. What aspect of Rose’s grief over Jason did you identify with the most? What can we learn from Rose’s mistakes in terms of how we deal with grief in real life?

Luyi

Hi there, Luyi (the artist) here! I want to say thanks so much for taking a look at Catians this week. I'm looking forward to seeing what people think!

I don't think I can address the other questions without spoilers(!), but let me throw my two cents into the mix for the last two: 5) My favorite illustration is when Rose wakes up in the forest. I'm pretty happy with how the lighting turned out in that scene.

6) Rose's grief is a big driving force of the overall story. The writer, Cortney, has struggled with grief in her life, and it plays a big role in the birth of the villain. I am honored and humbled by the chance to illustrate this prologue, as it addresses a massive emotional response that most people have no choice but to face in their lives.

The Q

I'm still reading, currently, but so far I really enjoy the lighting on page 15, especially panel 7.

Also, the juxtaposition between the fairytale-esque cat's world and the very realistic human world is extremely interesting!

Though I must admit, so far in the epilogue, I'm having a hard time figuring out where the plot wants to go. Do you all feel the same way? Or differently?

All in all, a very interesting story! I think the artwork is really solid - and it's TOUGH making cats expressive! I'm really excited to see where it goes from here.

snuffysam

@RebelVampire It would be interesting if some detective notices the weird stuff going on. The police dropped the murder case against Jason, so involving them in the story in the future would give Rose yet another reason to be antagonistic ("you weren't there when i needed you" and such).

My favorite character is Rose just because, so far, she has the most depth. She started out kind-hearted, but over the course of the prologue we get to see her descent into sadism due to her grief. Watching a character arc unfold like that is always interesting to see, as it teaches us lessons about handling grief in real life. For instance, learning the difference between justice and revenge.(edited)

snuffysam

@The Q I'm not sure I had the same troubles figuring out where the plot wants to go. This prologue seemed like it was introducing us to the story's future antagonist - someone who was corrupted by the power of the tail. Felix's "choose better than I did" statement seems to imply that there will be another tail user soon, one who will take more of a protagonist-y role. The short time skip where Rose learned to use her powers seems like it will be foreshadowing for us watching our future protagonist learn in real time, and learning about Rose's character arc now could help set up future parallels in the story.

The Q

@snuffysam True, now that you mention it! I was maybe a bit quick to type that up before I had time to digest the prologue haha

Now I'm just excited to see what'll happen to Rose from here on out! Will we see her again? Is she gone for good? Is she gonna create more people?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. What exactly do you think the abomination that Rose created was? What about it caused Felix to warn the Council that the guardians needed to be chosen? What do you think the abomination will do now?

RebelVampire

3) My favorite character right now is probably Felix. Just a good cat who wanted to save someone, but then it all went wrong. But I mostly appreciate the end of the prologue where Felix uses the last of his strength to try and salvage stuff and admit his mistake. 4) I think Rose can be saved, and I actually think she has to. Cause usually these things like an all for one package. You can't have a complete puzzle if one of the pieces is missing. So she has to be saved for whatever their ultimate goal is going to be. I think even if she is saved, though, it'll be a temp thing. I think she'll overall just be too traumatized by her actions and have too much pent up guilt to really function in life normally again.

5) My favorite illustration is probably the last page of the prologue with all the cats looking all serious and dramatic. https://catians.com/comic/chapter-0-page-24/ I really love the lighting and texture on the fur. Plus, something about the white cat's design makes just chuckle and want to hug said cat. 6) For me, I think I most identified with the first part where she was in the shocked denial stage. Her emotions were really poignant to me at that part, and I think regardless of where your grief goes from that point, that is always the first stage. In terms of what we can learn...well ya know, revenge ain't great. And you need to accept the loss and not try to clean to the past, because it leads to some unhealthy stuff. Unfortunately, gotta accept the memories and grow and move past it. And not murder people and create abominations. Probably.

7) I liked seeing Rose and Felix the most since they got the most screen time. I liked how their interactions had both this understanding yet fundamental misunderstanding cause of the species divide. And I kind of like that Felix could just flat out not see how grief had affected Rose until the end, cause it felt a natural consequence of their interactions. 8) I feel the abomindation was a creature that was without a soul, because can't create souls or something. And because of that it's now going to go on an endless rampage of eating trying to get a soul. Only you can't get souls by eating people so it will thus never be fulfilled. And this is why ya gotta warn the council, cause can't have soul eaters on the loose.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Who do you think the guardians will be, and what will they be like? What sort of tasks do you think they’ll be tasked to do? Also, do you think they’ll even be willing to adapt and help the cats?

Cortney

Hi, I'm Cortney, part of the Catians team along with @Luyi (who dropped in above). I'd like to thank the Comic Tea Party for featuring Catians this week! I have really enjoyed the discussion, users' excellent analyses, and @RebelVampire's very thought-provoking questions. 1. It's really tough for me to pick a single favorite scene, but I think I'd actually echo @RebelVampire on Rose getting absorbed. @Luyi did an amazing job bringing this to life -- I was worried the concept would be hard to understand, but she illustrated it just like I imagined (a credit to her intuition and skills). As creepy and horrifying as the scene is, it was extremely satisfying to see it play out on the page just as it did in my head. 5. My favorite illustration is so hard to choose... I think I've narrowed it down to between the Great Cat, Felix and Rose admiring the tombstone, the last scene with final cats (which, I'm a little embarrassed to admit, always gives me goosebumps!). The perspective and lighting on the tombstone scene is beautifully done. I think Rose's pose is confident, like her mastery of her new abilities is sinking in, and this foreshadows her shift towards taking action. P.S. I always laugh at the white cat, too, @RebelVampire -- he'll be back in the next issue, even more absurd. (edited)

6. As @Luyi mentioned, I've struggled with grief in my life, having lost both of parents fairly young. My first major loss, my father, occurred before I started the Catians story proper, and I think that experienced shaped Catians and its themes. My second major loss, my mother, occurred just before the conversion of the manuscript into a comic, and (since I was a little older) it provided even more perspective on grief, life after death, and different ways of processing loss. I try not to judge her reactions too much, since her loss was more violent and traumatic than anything I've experienced, but yeah, as @RebelVampire pointed out, Rose displays rather ineffective and self-destructive coping mechanisms. I really empathized with her when she was feeling "void," like she didn't even exist, after losing Jason.

7. I enjoyed @RebelVampire's breakdown of Felix and Rose's interactions, and the fundamental disconnects that ultimately plagued their communications. I do wish we could've had more time to see Jason and Rose interacting, but maybe we'll learn more about the pair down the line. @The Q I have to give a huge kudos to @Luyi for giving the cats expressions that look natural and also (in my opinion) pack emotional punches. Also, thanks for commenting on the site! @snuffysam Great analysis of the prologue!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. Do you think the guardians will be at risk for misusing their role in the same way that Rose misused her powers? Will the cats take measures to prevent another repeat? Overall, what can we learn about the concept of power corruption?

RebelVampire

9) I already mentioned this in general for fave illustration, but I still enjoy the lighting and technique used for the fur. Fur is a really hard thing to illustrate, but all the cats just look so soft and I want to huge them all and pet the computer screen so I can pet the great cats. 10) To be fair you can cheat and look at the cast page for this one. I don't know what they'll be like inidividually, but on the whole I think they're going to be reluctant and inexperienced. I want to assume there'll be some magic battling and that they'll try to stop the abomination. Maybe the abomination can like drop pieces of itself that in term become abominations. As for willingness, umm, probably not. Like maybe one will be like "yaay sounds fun" until they realize oh shit, it's not a game.

11) I think the comic's strengths are its balance of tones. Like the comic is really good at switching from benign seriousness to semi-disturbing horror really quickly in the span of a few panels, and that's really hard to do while maintaining good pacing. But it really helps bring the drama of the horror forward and make an impact. 12) 100% yes, the guardians will be at risk. Probably not from grief like rose, but power is a powerful drug and no one is immune. Honestly, I don't think the cats will take any measures to stop it, but more they will be wary to trust, which I can't blame them for. Overall, though, I think what happened to Rose shows that no matter how nice a person is, things can go south real fast when you push hard enough and give someone power they arent ready for.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Overall, why do you think The Great Cat dictated that humans and cats should work together? By the end of the story, do you think cats and humans will have a better relationship, or will it not make a difference?

RebelVampire

13) I am looking forward to meeting the guardians and seeing how the cats get them onboard while also keeping rose looming in the back of their minds. Sounds like the makings of great drama. 14) I think The Great Cat thought both species balanced each other out in a complimentary way. That and cooperation sounds better than both species fighting for the rights to dominate the planet. By the end of the story, idk. I feel like the relationship will be more or less the same, but maybe with a smidgen more trust thrown in as humanity shows its own merits that makes cats think "ok they arent all abomination creators"

NiaNook

1. Can't say I have a favorite. There's a lot of parts in a lot of different places I enjoyed 2. I don't see human society reacting to the guardians being anything big.... YET. They eventually had to discontinue looking for Jason's murderers, after all. It was thrilling to see Rose using her new abilities to brutalize those gangsters, and I can sympathize with her. She's frustrated, empty, filled with grief, and wants to avenge her husband. She let that grief and vengeance get the best of her and showed an uglier side of herself, but I can't see her as a bad person for it... maybe flawed, desperate, and human, but not bad. 3. With just a prologue, let's go with Felix, for now. He seems to be a very good and very wise, kitty (wisdom still increasing as he learns from his mistakes, of course!) 4. I don't have a lot of hope for poor Rose, though if she can be saved, what a happy turn of events that would be! She seemed to have an understanding of the mistake she made as she was being absorbed at the end.(edited)

NiaNook

5. This page, maybe. https://catians.com/comic/chapter-0-page-19/ The atmosphere and those two panels of Felix looking at her and turning away really show a lot of strong emotion (Mixed with the dialogue, it was just a really powerful and foreboding page) Felix genuinely just wants to help her. 6. What really made it hit home the hardest was seeing her still struggling to get out of that pit of grief, long after it's already happened. It's not easy to let go. Sometimes you feel like life has played a cruel prank on you and you desperately wish to reset it, but you can't. Your mind goes all kinds of crazy places trying to cope and fill that emptiness, and later you'll realize you're still empty and did something you regret (maybe not as extreme as killing people, but you get the idea). 8. I think the abomination is an embodiment of the sorrow and emptiness Rose couldn't get rid of. She gave it form, and poetically, it swallowed her. Something tells me either that creature isn't completely gone and it may cause more harm to others. 10. The prologue and the image in the site banner almost look like they're from 2 different stories, so there's a lot of mystery about where the guardians come in and what they'll be like, but it will probably have something to do with getting rid of those pink abominations

NiaNook

11. and 13. (combining these two) The comic is a lovely combination of expressive art and thoughtful, inspired writing. I actually peeked at it a few weeks ago when I was checking out the book club listings and unintentionally ended up reading through the whole thing! It just kept giving me so many questions, so many exciting or unexpected twists and turns, and there was something so delightfully bizarre about regular humans mixing with magical guardian cats that left me wanting to see where it went from here! What are our little kitties even up to when they're not chasing birds or sleeping beside us on our beds? What's up with these cat deities? How can such divine creatures be so fluffy and adorable!? (hehe) I'm hoping for more of all of this. More bizarre cat stuff. More strong character conflict, and uncovering answers to their mysterious way of life. 14. Perhaps it's something about combining different strenghts; cats are the wise decision makers, humans are the hands that move things along, or something along those lines. I sure hope it improves their relationship, because from what Felix tells us in the beginning, these humans have not been very kind to cats at all

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Catians: Resurrection this week! Please also give a special thank you to Cortney Cameron (Writer) and Luyi Bennett (Artist) for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Catians: Resurrection, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://catians.com/

Buy Catians’ Hardcopy: https://www.amazon.com/Catians-Resurrection-Prologue-Second-Tail/dp/1096221403

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