#like i genuinely think i might have CTE but nobody would know until i eventually cave in to one of my impulses and shoot lethally
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something that makes me sad is that i dont know if this is my paranoia or not but every once in a while when things are REALLY bad i think about CTE and how it cant be diagosed while the victim is still alive so even if i think i might have it, that doesnt matter. theres no treatment for it anyways
#i had my head banged a LOT as a kid#and I personally banged my head a lot really hard when i wasnt feeling very okTM#and i dont mean in a kids will be kids and wrestle type of way#i mean that I had adults throw bikes at me or hit my head or slam garage doors down on my head or hit my with pots and pans over the head#like i genuinely think i might have CTE but nobody would know until i eventually cave in to one of my impulses and shoot lethally#but also CTE doesnt develop that soon so maybe im just a stupid teen which is VERY likely
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