#like i fell victim to the borderline personality trait shit as a kid hardcore | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wolfisland · 10 months ago

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honestly one of my least favourite things about online spaces centered around cluster b personality disorders is that they almost treat the disorders as an in joke. like its never quite anti recovery rhetoric but a lot of the times it feels like it becomes this thing where something harmful gets spurred on as a personality trait to nurture rather than a symptom to keep an eye on. freaks me the fuck out.

it could be because growing up i was pretty familiar with cluster b spaces and i lost a couple of friendships due to it becoming this whole "i have this disorder now i have to knowingly indulge the more harmful and dangerous symptoms im supposed to be treating to really prove i have this disorder!" thing.

like babes i still believe youre borderline, you dont need to go full tilt maintaining a numbered and ranked list of the people most important to you and assigning a fp role to someone who frankly is not responsible for your stability.

#i lost a friend yeeeeaaaars ago like almost 10 years ago now #who discovered npd and started using it as a justification for treating us like shit and seeing us as lesser #which was so fucking crazy to me as someone whos pretty fucking certain they have npd #bc if anything its made me a hell of a lot more aware of how i treat people around me #because like theres a lot worse things i can be than arrogant and self obsessed. but i dont wanna be arrogant and self obsessed AND cruel #like i fell victim to the borderline personality trait shit as a kid hardcore #and didnt realise i was probably comorbid npd til literally last year so i dodged that #but literally the reason i didnt realise it was probably also npd is because of how people dehumanize people w npd #like most of my exposure to npd in my own life has been absolute fucking menaces #but so has bpd. the people with bpd who have remained part of my life have always been people w bpd who keep an eye on their behaviour #bc no personality disorder makes you evil but not monitoring your symptoms does almost always make you irresponsible #like its very weird seeing people in my life react wildly differently to the discovery or diagnosis #like i just have 0 energy for people who get a diagnosis and just use it to excuse their treatment of others #and this comes from someone who was The borderline menace at age 16 #i think realising i probably have npd has made me a lot more aware of my own ego among other things #and ive had enough therapy for bpd to feel comfortable navigating most of the npd stuff rn without an official dx yet #bc id say ive already been trying to curb certain behaviour for years now without realising it could be linked to smth in particular #its just a new explanation. but i dont think its an excuse #i hope that ex friend is dealing with his shit better now. i still think hes a dick but he was a struggling teenager so all i can do is like #hope hes grown up and doing better mentally and has better friends. bc god knows our friend group was pretty unhealthy #txt

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