#like i dont regret writing it or posting it at all im very happy i did i think it was a good story and im so glad there are people who

[ladynicte]

And officially the coffincest fic has gotten more comments than the Percico one ever got

[nordidia]

May I request some pain, Raph flavored

Pretty pleaseeeee

i hope i dont sound angry writing this, but please dont send/ask me stuff like this! i've gotten a lot of similar asks like this and this is scary for me but i need to set a boundary!

.

i dont like making "angst" or sad things, i dont make non-happy content for the sake of inflicting pain, and i dont like people assuming/thinking i do! i make it for meaningful emotional impact, i dont want people to tell me how much they like that i "put raph through pain" or assume im appealing to people who like doing that .. it makes me very sad!

i dont make "angst" to purely hurt characters, im making fanart of a character with emotional depth, and to explore the character's reaction to serious matters, and to let people know that theyre not alone, and that struggling can look like many things

some of the most motivating things ive been told by people who like my comics is that it's helped them (and their therapist sometimes!) figure out what was up with them, because i write a lot of things such as ptsd and anxiety and general mental pain to look different than the media portrays. because there really is alot of forms mental issues can take, and not all of them get portrayed, which leaves real people wondering "whats wrong with me" when its right there, just different form!

i think the closest i'll get to making it "just because" is vent art, but that too has meaning. and i will specify when its vent art for that very reason. to say "this isnt necessarily me exploring anything, or canonical, its to make myself feel less alone, and hopefully, the people seeing this as well"

and thats why i make the content i do, its not because i enjoy putting characters i like through bad things,,, in fact, i often hesitate/regret posting because i feel bad about the things i create for the sake of this. but i try to look past it because it can genuinely help a lot of people, and it does help myself too.

i think that assuming i make emotional stuff just for the sake of pain takes away from that.. i try very hard to not over-do sad stuff and i often cut down on it because i dont want to overwhelm people with it, and to prove that i only do the necessities for the sake of healing from the things i put emphasis on

any of the pain i "put them through" is my take on what they've canonically been through, and exploring their reaction and way to deal with the aftermath of that. nothing more,,, nothing less.

ugly things are still worth talking about, especially for the sake of healing growth

this got alot i hope i made sense uhh yeah!! yeah.,, apolocheese!!

TL;DR: i personally make pain for the necessity of healing, not because i think its fun

and now back to our regularly scheduled program

[bungoustraypups]

i just checked ur dnf criteria on ur carrd and i think what you said about mori is definitely interesting! im interested in why exactly he's your favourite character, if you're okay with telling me? /gen (i personally don't like mori because yosano is one of my absolute favourite characters and i cant forgive him for what he put her through, but i swear i dont hate people who like him. im actually very interested, and i would like to expand my view of mori)

also do u ship ranpoe?

ok so first of all: kudos to you for having a reason to dislike mori that is both personal and also correct. he did terrible things to yosano and that is canon! i'm also very glad that you're open to listening since a lot of ppl in this fandom aren't (the number of times i've been accused of being a child predator for liking mori is at least 5! this is solely from twitter tho not tumblr)

also yes i do ship ranpoe. just getting that outta the way before the mori moment begins

SO

mori is my favorite character mostly for reasons unknown to me. i just love him a lot. my first bsd fanfic i posted, which is also the first one i finished in march of this year, is a fukumori mainly mori-centric fic about the two of them having a baby, and over the course of writing that i fell deeply in love with his character, both the way i wrote him and how he is in canon.

he's so very clearly (in my eyes and the eyes of other mori enjoyers) traumatized it's almost painful. combining how he is solely in canon with the experiences of the MCs of vita sexualis and the dancing girl (i have not yet read these novels but my good friend geeg has talked abt it extensively) opens up a whole new dimension to this too.

in fact, as i've stated multiple times before: of the main BSD cast, the two who i think most likely have CSA trauma (there could def be others but this is just from what i know) are probably dazai and mori (notably, separate experiences divorced from each other, meaning i 100% do not believe mori SA'd dazai or anyone else for that matter given there's no canonical evidence to support this)

he's hot. and i like characters i think are hot (and ones i think aren't but yknow this gives him more points)

he's mysterious and we know very little about him

he's so fucking tragic as a character. a man canonically full of regrets, who never considers his own feelings but uses himself for the greater good of his city and his country, who is constantly forced to swallow his true feelings because he has to appear as a strong leader all the time and can only hope to express himself even a little bit when he's alone with his own ability? the agony and hells are real

like there's so much, this is just a few reasons why i like him bc i can't think of all of them off the top of my head but i'm happy to talk about him whenever

[evelili]

3, 12, 17, 23, 26, 31, 33 for the fanfic ask meme?

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

my magnum opus lol. hands down no contest best thing ive ever written (so far)

12. Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why?

i dont think so? ive ofc got plenty of one-page docs that never made it past the first sit-down, but if i finish something ill post it. i dont rlly have any shame or regrets toward what i make, even if im not 100% satisfied, bc ill just do even better next time ^^

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

none of them!! im proud of all my fics and think they should all be the Best Rated Ever :3

23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?

ough i dont wanna embarrass anyone but if youve ever left a long, heartfelt review on my magnum opus chances are i have it saved into a folder of “lili’s most precious memories” on my pc lol

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

it makes me happy when ppl tell me they resonate with a character and their decisions! because, writing is a transient experience, so for me to put some sort of feeling into a story and express it through a character, and then have someone understand that character, it’s a very nice feeling of being seen ^^

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

in one hand i have pinkie pie and in the other i have rarity and both are equally close to causing my premature death lmao

33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

hmmm i dont think so? in general my stuff ends up longer than i set out for it to be, but that’s mostly due to improving my pacing like i talked about in a previous ask. if something really does end up too long, it usually gets caught in the editing process and cut back down to reasonable haha

thanks for the ask! it’s nice to talk about this kind of stuff more :D

[goldengroovy]

Hi! Thank you so so much for organizing the event, I'm really looking forward to it! I can't wait to see what amazing things the community will share :D!

If it's not too much, may I ask what your plans for it are? Are you only going to post art, or are you going to write as well? Focus on the love interests and ocs, or involve more of the other characters? I'm very curious because you're one of my favorite creators in the fandom, and you're very talented :3. I get really happy to see your username pop up in the tags hehe >.<

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(also can I ask if it's ok to do canon X canon for the event? Nothing problematic, just a ship for fun, promise! >.<)

this fandom is so nice oh my god i love u guys!!!

im glad to see all the positive reactions for the event! it was kind of a random idea me and my friend nessie came up with, and for some reason i decided to follow through. which I will never regret!

I'm planning on doing mostly art for each prompt, with drabbles to match it! ouuu dont hope for too much though, because I've never successfully followed through with a fanweek haha. (yet!!)

im mainly focused on mc x tamarack and mc x renee!! and maybe a bit of tamaren because I can't help it haha.

its so wild hearing you say that im one of your favs!! like woah people perceive me, and woah people like me!! isnt that awesome ^^

anyways, of course you're free to do canonxcanon! you don't have to ask for my permission to do so <3 im so excited to see what you'll make!

[dansevilpianotea]

i really wanted to make a proper dan birthday post/art today but im super tired rn, so its not happening. instead im writing something personal and philosophical because im an autistic philosophy student and its all im capable of doing.

you will get up that hill

thank you @danielhowell for growing up with me, even tho its only been 5 years (almost), its been the most important 5 years of my life (so far lol).

when i skimmed through ywgttn again recently i realised how much i have changed since i first read it 2 years prior. i used to reject any kind of help despite feeling really bad because for so long my needs were ignored, i was blamed for it or i was given solutions that were toxic and dismissive of my feelings. but i kept going. addicted to the loneliness and the pain, but i knew that this wasnt all there is. i managed to move to a different country on my own at 18, i knew that there was a light at the end of my horizon. i mean, its really not like that tho. there is a sun and it rises every morning, but it also goes down in the evening. it can seem pointless, banal, some might say absurd. pushing up that rock every morning and it rolling down when the sun sets. for me, it felt like the rock was just sitting at the bottom of the hill and i didnt have enough strength to even consider moving it. but this is not all there is. we can change, and the way we change to get better is not rapid but its a slow process of not just trying, but trying again despite failing. this is not a fight that is possible to lose. you only lose it when you dont touch the rock. if it is already at the bottom, you cant get it down further than that. your only way is up. and yes, it can roll down again, but there are checkpoints. connections we make, people we love and who get to love us. risks we take and secrets we reveal that make us stronger to try again. this is your life. you can just pick it up and try. and try again. and try it even tho everyone wants you to hate every second of it and do not believe you can do it. but you can. the only mistake you can make is letting them make you believe that progress has to be fast. even if it takes you 30 years to reach this checkpoint, the more you try to go up, the stronger you will get. its not about sitting there doing nothing and its not about being upset that you cant make it fast enough. you cannot plan for the route up the hill. you learn along the way. its about trying to push the boulder when everything inside of you screams at you that change is scary and everyone outside of you either pushes you to do it in their specific way or they tell you that you cannot do it. the boulder is your life and the hill is happiness. its not yourself who you should push, but the way you need the environment to be so you can be happy. the only true rebellion is happiness. when you are forced to live inauthentically, they do not want you to be happy. even if they think they do all they really care about is you not disturbing their prejudiced view of the world, of you being controlled by them. the gods punished sisyphus. they wanted him to suffer under their authority. the only choice you have to become happier is to make it up that hill and to do it with a smile on your face. even if you are not happy, you just need to want it and to believe that you can get there from your current situation and not through a miracle from an outside force. there is no other choice.

2 years ago my counsellor said to me that i was very good at being scared of things (lol), but i do them anyways inspite of the fear. ever since i can remember i was scared of the most mundane changes, from walking on a different side of the road on my way to school to asking my friend about their dog. but i still wanted to do all those things. i was just incredibly scared of chaos and rejection. so i didnt do them. but i dont regret not doing them. because with every time that i failed i get to try it again but with even more strength. and this is how i got here. my life has changed in such a significant way since i watched your coming out video and thats because of you and this community. i had dreamed of getting out of my hometown for years and i didnt think i could. but when you said the following: "Time changes everything. With the lives that we have, we can try anything we've dreamed of. [...] you are never trapped. There is always hope. You just need to believe in yourself and get to the other side." i needed to hear that. i didnt even know i was gay back then (thanks for that too) but as someone who was bullied for years and had my self esteem wrecked, i didnt think i had enough power. in fact, i really didnt for a long time. but i kept trying and pushing the line further until eventually i could free myself from the traps i was in my whole life. thank you dan. without your community i dont know where i'd be in life but i can only imagine it'd be worse. thank you for being born and continue living defiantly and pushing that bolder up that hill that is happiness. you are an inspiration.

(also shoutout to my phanhub friends, which btw i cant believe how long we've known each other know. i love you guys <3)

happy birthday @danielhowell 🖤🏳️‍🌈

[thursdaysrain]

im going to try posting here every day for . i dont know. a while. and see if i get a feel for it. just whatever off the cuff no editing

recently i watched adventure time front to back (having seen maybe 30% of it forever ago), and i feel kind of goofy for being one of those like 'woah this kid show is so deep and good' converts but there's just a lot of meat on those bones, i guess. it takes itself seriously thematically!

as always consuming very good fiction over such a dense period (i worked through like everything - 10 seasons, distant lands, and fionna and cake - within a few weeks) my brain is rewired and i feel bonkers.

unfortunately i have intense shipping urges but to my dismay (although not unexpected) it is not even one of the top ten ships on AO3 (63 out of 4k works). of course this aired during an era tumblr i'm not so familiar with but i know things were much darker on here 5-10 years ago for Problematic Fanwork.

finn/pb seems to be a radioactive ship. anything i see about it always has all these caveats or is like trying to thread the needle of not specifically being about a manipulative functionally-immortal queen grooming (in both connotations of the word, really) a young teenage boy to be Her knight. not to mention it loses out to pb/marceline, which is 1. gay 2. baited from early in the show and 3. ended up 'winning' and maybe most importantly, unfortunately, 4. is Not Problematic

dont get me wrong i like them together a lot. and i am very happy that it was canonized, or whatever. but there's just so much insanity inducing material w/ finn and princess bubblegum. the show regularly points out how fixated on her he is while also showing again and again how much of a possessive control freak pb is.

there's a lot that keeps running through my brain bc of AT, some things more interesting/useful than others (such as a specific perspective on like, disaster, time, and life going on despite everything that resonates strongly). but no i keep coming back to this weird thing. i blame my chldhood exposure to tenchi muyo for why i am the way i am. this is just my washu/tenchi thing all over again. that's literally what it is what the fuck

i dont think i could get into writing fanfic. im too obsessed w/ worldbuilding, like, over planning things, i cant just slap out a short story. maybe it's worth forcing myself sometime. the closest i ever got (except a couple pieces i wrote in elementary school and lots of fan chatroom RP) was i was planning for a 2hr renpy fanfic vn about manbagi from komi san (maybe my most rabid fixation on a character and a huge outlier) getting together with tadano. komi san kind of lost its momentum for me though, especially with manbagi rotated out of the main cast after her devastating (but inevitable) loss in the main ship war.

all this to say my only recourse is to rotate these cubes in my brain over and over until they shatter into countless pieces and leave their marks on my other works. there's a luxury a long running serial work has, and it's time to really ferment, and i regret i have no such luxury. i suppose that's another benefit of fanfic, though, being able to lean on that.

[fearfylsymmetry]

15 questions tag 15 friends here's to my love @nizynskis.

1. Are you named after anyone?

no, my name's more about its meaning than anything else. culture carried through the past etc etc you know how it goes

2. When was the last time you cried?

few days back i think? its uhh,, a general drama of regret, nothing i can't resolve quick

3. Do you have kids?

no. non natal milf so to speak.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

i've tried most all of them i just do not like sports. i much prefer exercise, i don't need balls to legitimize moving my legs wink wink

5. Do you use sarcasm?

this is such a good question

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

faces because i need to build up my visual library. if you end up in my artwork well thats on you for being so drawable

7. What’s your eye color?

charred plains after the annual harvest, burnt enough for god to look away etc et al. there is a certain loss in that march lit haze, in the shifting plumes of smoke where unfamiliar faces reside

8. scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings for me, as a general trend. horror movies are always good but after a long day you just want to watch someone be happy. hope transplanted through the silver screen.

9. Any talents?

well i draw and write and try to sound very smart on my academic papers and maybe one day ill be able to do a kickflip on my skateboard. ohh i can snap my fingers really fast too

10. Where were you born?

hospital

11. what are your hobbies?

drawing painting writing reading and one day ill learn to play every instrument. ooh yeahh learning too learning is fun god bless u pdfs of academic texts, i loveee hoarding pdfs and images too. the amount of pdfs i have.... the plan is to get sooo good at these i bag oscars, palme d'ors, bookers, hugo awards etc et al ad hominem

12. do you have any pets?

no i dont think i have the patience to take care of one. i just sublimate my love to my friend's pets and any stray cats and dogs that like me and dont look like they'll give me a scary infection (spoilers i just walk by with a smile)

13. How tall are you?

compressed industrial pipe standard regulation malleable plyable and god knows im impressionable

14. favorite subject in school?

well in my school days it was english and now i think maybe possibly it'll be post colonial literature and art history.

15. Dream job?

writer artists who will eventually love off her prize money. the goal is to just keep giving it away and retiring to the moors.

this was funn, tagging @transboydororo @moldavite @bloodcoveredgf @diatesticlematerialjism @legallybrunettedotcom

@vampk1ss @creepy-scrawl sorry sorry

[ohyoru]

Hey im not good with words or english, but its ok to feel burnt out or tired. Youre not obligated to provide anything to us. You are an author who writes for free. Maybe to have fun maybe to express yourself. You have your own life and thats a good thing. I havent been playing genshin in a while because theres so much work i need to do there like building characters. I havent watched link click s2 because i cant bring myself to sit down for that long. Im sure everyone has something like this happening to them and i just remind myself that it doesnt matter that much. Post unfinished things, make your character builds crap, dont finish a book youve started it doesntmatter. Its about having fun. Its about forgetting your problems(at least for me) or its about spending time with your online friends. Taking a break is necessary. Spending time for yourself is necessary. Taking care of yourself is necessary. I hope i could get my message across. I cant even take my own advice seriously as im too scared to post this without anon but i hope i was able to make you feel better somehow. I also want to say i really love your works even if i dont know who the person you’re writing about is. Ive been following your works for a while and i dont regret it one bit. I would be pretty sad if you were to stop writing for certain people but if it makes you feel happy then i dont mind and im sure others wouldn’t mind it as well. Youre free to do whatever you want ( as long as youre not intruding on other peoples freedom obviously) thank you for reading my wordvomit written in an attempt to comfort you.

dearie anon,

to have you in my inbox is already a blessing enough for me. thank you so much for taking the time of your day to cheer me up, you have no idea how much this means to me (brb crying i dont deserve you sob)

first of all, your message got across. i'm not sure about your english being not good part, but really, your message resonates with me on a level deeper than language can ever explain, truly.

i appreciate your kind reminder that i shouldn't feel obliged to write for anyone. i honestly feel like it's eating me out because i put myself in the equation as well. i had been a writer before, back when tokyo revengers (anime) was still in its first season since i'm more of a manga reader. if you were in that era, you might came across my work. alas, things happened. what used to be good memories (including writing) turned into very hurtful ones and i stopped doing what i love because they're causing me so much pain. nonetheless, i still slowly died inside. it took me a while to be at peace with my past and understand that writing is what makes me the person i am. so i'm determined to start again and keep it up. but when life gets in the way and hold me back from writing (again), it depresses me. (including not playing genshin). honestly, i'm feeling lonely. what and who i used to know and love seemed to only exist in the past. people moved on, topics became irrelevant, relationship broke. which i don't blame, but it still makes me cry once in a while.

sorry for the traumadump uh- i feel like i should explain myself a little. i hope that didn't scare you too much. but anyway, you're right! i should do whatever i want. maybe i need to reframe my perspective. i love that you mention about reading book thingy because i have the same issue and yes, i'm a reader through and through. but it's been so long since i read.. the irony. maybe all i need to do is start. and love myself a bit more to stop torturing myself with unnecessary thoughts..

you know what anon? i love the past me. i dont remember exactly what i love about her, but she used to be so at peace. i'm trying to find my way back to her, and i think you're helping me set my way there, so thank you. i dont know about your problems, but if you're willing to share, i'm more than happy to listen. don't forget to take care of yourself too okay? i hope your days ahead are the loveliest yet!

also, thank you for appreciating my works! when i started writing again, i told myself and whoever that's willing to take the time of their day to consume my content that i don't need anyone's attention or approval (shadowban be damned. if it happens, it happens). i did it solely for myself. but god knows how much your kind words and others' fill up the spaces in my heart.

i'm not going to ask anything from my works. your support is something i could never repay, but i'll always appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

(btw yes, you did send this on anon hehe i got a hunch on who you might be but if you prefer to keep it a secret, then rest assured, your secret is safe with me!)

[slickchickchocolatier]

babyy 🥹🥹 my reireiiiii im backk!! how are you my loves??!!! i missed you so damn much you dont even knowwww!!!!! I really wanted to just sit and talk to you all day but now is the only time I got to message youu i’ve been really really reaallllyyyy busy with school since I already started and work + the ballet lessons (ik I do this daily but stilllll its quite tiring) + everyday after classes I had to stop by my grandma’s house to help her with stuff (its only for two and a half weeks but goddd its tiring too) so you can imagine how busy i’ve been but not to worry though im doing fine and healthy, and for the past week I became a silent reader of yours!! just liking every post haha but yea im really glad to now have the time to message you and way all the things i’ve been wanting to saaayyy 🥹🥹🥹💗💗💗

enough about me how about you?!!! how have you been??!! what did I miss?? I like to say i’m keeping updated but just in case…what’d I miss omggg

by the way I absolutely loveddddd that one shot and im ngl its new to see a fic of urs thay doesnt have that much of a yandere heeseung but its still so good either way I swearrr you put a spell on me on every one-shot and chapter you post because I think about it for daaayyysssssss!!!! but ugh the tension and the angst in that fic was just *chefs kiss we love soft, needy, regretting hee

BTW DT RECENT CHAPTER WAS SO MFING JUICY I CANTTTTTTTTT the smut part/s in there was WHOOO DAMN THAT WAS ONE HELL OF A SMUT SCENE it always got me sweating and weak in the kneesssss the car smut was the one that’s engraved in my mind good lorddd it just randomly pops up in my head and at the worst times too ugh I could be in a lecture and that smut scene would just play in my mind holy shiiiiiitttt rei ur impeccable and i’d say a master AND QUEEN at these scenes🥵🥵

the girls though are taking a whack at my patience 😐

I can’t say and promise to you that i’ll bombard ur asks like the good ole’ days and quite frankly I feel like the next would be in a couple days but im just glad I got to message you again ☹️

will eagerly and definitely wait for your reply👀👀 my absolute favorite darling and beautiful smart gifted girl (hope I still am ur favs 🤞🏻🤞🏻) hell i’d search the whole dictionary for a word to describe you but none is and will ever be enough.

MWAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU SO SO SO SOOO MUCHHHH

keep writing and doing your goddamn deliciously brilliant work my reirei i’ll always be here whether in ur asks or in the likes section hehe

- ur fav (?) girly, nik/lana💕

my girl!!! ♥️ I had a heethan moment when i saw your message, the whole "pretty baby! you--you came to me....." lol! i missed you so much! i've been doing good, i've been busy as well. been helping out the parents with their business and then spending whatever free time i have drafting up the one shots/requests and the chapters 😉 i'm so happy to hear from you, i know you've been very busy so no need to explain, you do you girl. i'm just so glad to see you once in a while when i can! did you enjoy the one shots? i've been working on the upcoming chapter of TO and also, HHP's next chapter is coming soon 😉 real soon! i can't wait for you to read it. how is ballet practice? how is school? and work?

[nogenderbee]

excuse me, its me the person who randomly apologises, im sorry that i went to saying sorry, i wasn't thinking at all :( but mind if i try your event? If you dont mind of course!

Nicknames for my lover/partner - hmmm, something silly, but if i cant think anything ill just shortened their names :D

Hobbies - writing(like an essay or fiction), drawing(i wanted to try realistic drawings too!), gazing at everyone(im not a stalker I swear I just enjoyed watching people do their own thing) and lastly listening to music!(I got emotional over sad songs ;))

Date ideas - hmm I dont know, something like watching the cinema

Something I hate in others - I dont hate anyone?? Actually??? But if I was, thenn definitely those people who are impatient

Personality traits - patient, like i would wait for my friends to get ready for school even if it costs me getting late(i dont regret anything). And then creativity, I would think of something when i get bored. And lastly im very much easy to talk too!(if you went to a topic abt drawing ill ramble abt art history)

Activities i like - going to art museums!

Activites i dont like - anything sports related

Once again im so sorry for barging your inbox with an apology, but i hope your having a good day!

Hey don't worry! It's all fine ^^ And I'm happy you decided to try this event! So let's get into it darl~

I pair you with...

��🥁🥁

Ena Shinonome!

⊱ first, nicknames! She may not show it but she loves all the silly nicknames you came up for her! It'll be kinda hard to shorten her name tho...

⊱ so you both of course enjoy listening to music and drawing! And she also doesn't mind too much if you stare at her! Sure, she was a bit confused at first but she eventually got used to it and now, she doesn't even sometimes notice you gazing at her

⊱ as for date idea, she hoenstly enjoys going to cinema but she does also have a bit better ideas so as long as you're willing to check it out, she'd love to suggest some! But then again, she can't say no to a good movie~

⊱ I think she's still a bit of a patient person since she draws and from what I experienced, patience is absolute key

⊱ and now traits! She absolutely loves your patient and creative side! Especially creative one tho, after all whenever she struggles with her art z she can come to you! But of course you can count on her as well! She also loves to just sometimes ramble with you~

⊱ and finally, you both enjoy going to art museums! You can be sure that she'll try to study few all painting and she'll study the ones that catched her eye for a bit longer. She also will try to pay attention which drawing you liked for future projects~

You and Ena were now walking back from movie date, this time you picked a movie and it was really nice that you both enjoyed it just as much!

On your way back tho, Ena noticed photo booth and she just couldn't help herself and give it a try! Of course she payed for it, after all she just wanted to have a small memory from this date~

"Look at this! Don't we just look cute~? I bet people will love it too! Oh, you won't mind if I post it on my socials... will you?"

She was still showing you the photos and you only could see how excited she was for having these. She almost literally had stars in her eyes! But of course she still won't post these photos if you don't want to so choice is really yours~

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[yellowbluemoonshine]

Hey manhwa/sob anon,my thoughts on winter szn is EXACT same to same with you everything you said was what I thought.i thought I was just not satisfied with dongchae being not mc like he didn't really have much even tho it was HIS szn yeah I absolutely agree with u angry with jaemin nd also jaemin x eunchae r my disliked ship...I didn't like the winter szn as much as other cuz of all the things you've said but I didn't really know what nd which thing I don't like so after seeing u write ur opinion nd thought made me think "aah that why , I don't really like this szn"

Also the reason I wanted you to read sob,really like your opinions nd many match with mine although not all

Like you I enjoyed bomi x jinyoung more the cuz I think it would e been really weird between seonhui nd bomi if any of those two were to date jaemin really like their friendship so I didn't want there to be a wall b/,w them tho I will agree with you on jaemin with bomi thing cuz at first I see them nd think ah they will really make a good couple both r similar (bomi mom being strict nd jaemin also being strict although not with him but with brother) both popular kid good grade good personality they would a power couple I'm a sucker for short boy x tall girl so jinbomi won my heart over aslo like the grumpy x sunshine trope also I really liked seonhui & jaehyeon cuz I'm kinda a lover of side couple also their maple 🍁 scene made me fall head over heels for this ship so I didn't really like seonhui x jaemin cuz as I said before the reason of bomi nd her friendship to not fall apart but now that not a problem cuz bomi nd jinyoung bf gf but she had guilt over asking jaemin to come over when his brother was suicide that day tho not her fault(nd yes that the school & mom fault ,hamin flower was good but so sad ) so that why I didn't really like it

On gaeul flower thing I liked it but as you said the discomfort of subin being reminder of her being bullied was really not done well she really got over it fast as you said but beside that I really like them being in college(university? I forgot which one) hs romance is common

Overall Id say I liked the story+ the couple execpt for dongchae flower could be done so much better nd the couple wasnt really good imo maybe I was expecting too much but also I agree you on the speech part I also really loved it!

there's gonna be a sequel (author said it's light hearted than sob) I think in a year Im waiting for it

Really a big post sorry

(Response to this).

Its fine, i love to talk about series anyway.

Yeah, winter season could've been better. I really thought Jaemin was out of character. He was better than that and Eunchae too. Dongchae deserves better.

Actually, i love tall girl x short boy type of ships too and of course, opposite attracts thing. The reason i couldnt root is because she and Jaemin both wanted to be together at that time, even its not romantic love, it was sad to watch them like that. I wasnt into Jaemin and Bomi, i just support people who have healthy relationship and like i said, the way she described that comfort feelings for Jaemin fits more the actual love but at the end, both of them are happy so its fine.

And i really hated what Bomi did with Jaemin, Jinyeong. If my friend did something like Bomi did, i would absolutely hated it. Girl, you didnt make things better but actually worse! And this isnt for her, its for herself. If you dont want to date your bestie's crush, tell her that for God's sake. They are lucky, it ends well though.

I didnt like Seunhui at the beginning because she looks like just rude girl for no reason but the story progress, i find her very cute and i know she has guilty for Hamin's suicide but i still think they also look good together with Jaemin and the way he was teasing her at the start, i shipped them and i dont think her relationship would actually fall apart with Bomi, if they communicated properly. Just because they have past and regrets doesnt mean they cant be together and doesnt mean its not love. Jaemin and Seunhui c/would be really cute and funny too but again, at the end, both find happiness so i am fine with this too so whatever, lol.

I think university romance is better because of maturity, the idea that you will find real love in uni is more realistic to me because at highschool, you are just trying to figure out yourself, you will most likely have crushes than love, its imature form of love. Though, its fun to explore any type of love, especially if its well written.

I heard about sequel, i wonder what will it be about.

[first-only]

i'll probably regret asking since league of legends is known to be Not Good™ but now i'm curious. how is light and darkness treated in league of legends lore? (i've seen arcane but apart from that i know nothing)

(referring to this post and my tags on it)

ok so to answer this first a glimpse into what even "league of legends lore" is, as in the material principle of it. Best part of the entire ordeal is that literally nobody cares about league lore. The dudebros playing dont even know it, it has no active fandom (in the definition of tumblr/ao3 of 'fandom'), there's little cancelling, barely analysis, it's free. Which is great!! bc the authors took this to mean they can do literally whatever they want without scrutiny (or w very little of it) from either side. And they did good, oh did they do good. There's been gay characters since the beginning. There are /so many/ now. There's a trans character! She is referenced as such in-game and her bio tells her writing process and decisions! there's no drama over that! bc nobody knows despite all that lol. And im actually grateful for league's natural toxic defense systems because even the boom of arcane did not get the toxic fandom culture into scrutinizing and nitpicking. in short, there's like 5 of us who care abt this shit.

now the way league lore is conveyed is infinitely better than any other franchise with similar storytelling (looking at u overwatch). it's compact, the company actually puts it all in one official place, there's no word-of-god-ing whats canon is clear. side projects are easily referenced and accessible. did you know one of the trailers for the card game in the same universe kinda gives a hint as to the future of one of the main arcane charas? you could go look at it! (or ask for a link/explanation id be happy to). now, the way we learn about the universe beyound the explicitly shared things about regions and factions (and oh lord there's /so many/ of those - arcane was set in its specific regions because they were underdeveloped before!! imagine how the others are); is through the characters themselves and their personal lore. everyone has at least one (and usually many more + videos and stuff) short stories that explain their origin, connection to other characters, strives and moral dilemmas and relation to their faction and/or region. so we get to learn from a first-person account and. well. there's 162 characters to date. yeh that's /a lot of lore/.

And there's more!! The skins in the game, and especially the skin lines (ie skins for different champions with the same theme) are /canon/. Well, they're AU, in the sense of "what if this character was from this other faction/region/nation instead?" or "what if X had happened in this universe instead?" but the lore behind them is solid and applicable. So from all this we have learned a few things about the universe:

-The world they live in, Runeterra, is technically a "planet", but the universe itself is /definitely/ not like ours. It's not the kind of space we see in our physics and studies. It's a magical world! It's filled with beasts and mythological concepts, not hard mathematics and logic. Which is to say the 'void' of space is, in fact, a place for magical creatures to live! It's alive! it's livable, no concept of oxygen, it's travellable (with the right technology and/or magic to get there). The stars are little creatures that sometimes get lost or weak and 'fall' to Runeterra! there's a whole ass faction devoted to helping them grow and get back up. There's space dragons and 'gods' (which is a complicated concept in this universe but to abbreviate here lets call them that) that /create/ those lil guys!

Look at them!

those lil beasties ARE the stars! being shepherded! The darkness of the night sky is alive! its full of tiny creatures and scary space dragons and adventure and benevolent or mischievous celestials! (girl with the horn is one of them!)

-There /is/ a concept of the actual Void, which is a different... spacetime? Sure let's go with that. It's all consuming, the threat to all living beings, on Runeterra and beyound. It's looking to eat and consume everything, ever expanding. Some characters dont believe it even exists (its kinda on a cooldown, waking up atm); others devote their lives and turn into villains to protect the world from it. The kicker? Not only is it /alive/ itself, made of undulating flesh, but all its monsters and messengers are grabbing hands looking to grapple and drown the world as we know it inside of themselves. It's True Darkness, alive and breathing and looking to Consume.

-the concept of light is a little bit different. it's treated as good and righteous by some factions and characters, as blinding by others. the biggest fans of it, as it were, are however the nation that looks to purge everything unclean and magical, to subdue mages and any expression of things non-physical. their battlecries are 'for the light' (which is often called out by other charas as /magical itself/ ironically lol), as they slaughter and purge the lives they deem unnecessary, leaving the emptiness magic leaves behind it as a remnant. ofc this isnt as clear cut a moral lesson - the lore loves its ambiguity. an angel splits in two (simplifying lol) to 'righteous justice' (=light, punishment, purging) and 'compassionate justice' (=dark, support, helping humans with what they need so they would be kinder). the star shepherding region itself is split in sun and moon warriors. protectors of supposed invasions, shields of the light that let nothing in. and nighttime secretive warriors who do what they can to improve the lives of the little guys, who want to fill the sky and the earth with (moon)light - reflected and thus gentler, subtler, /fuller/. and the leaders of these factions are lesbian lovers who were sisters in the old lore 👀

and honestly thats not even my fav part of league lore lol. the political intrigue, characters seemingly crafted to suit me personally. there's ninja-likes who move in smoke and darkness to preserve peace, opposed by light-shining spirit walkers who seek complacency, control, subjugation! you know i never thought /too/ much abt the whole way it treats lightness vs darkness apart from the more obvious space and void faction, but damn the more i dig into it, the more obvious it is this seems like an intentional thing. there's a shining sun emperor and his servants literally made of light(ning), who created creatures called Darkin in their hubris, and who are being opposed by underground factions clad in black. damn.

(for the record league lore got a rewritten some years ago - before, the game was actually canon and the characters were competing to win the League of Legends in-lore for an ultimate price. since, the writers have decided that the characters tell stories that cannot be contained in those limits, and have turned the game into just a backdrop [it and most other games in the same universe] for the bigger story they're telling in the background. i did grumble abt the decision at the time, but now i see that it's taking a very interesting path and i love following it)

[inknopewetrust]

i read ur post. im so sorry that life hasn’t been treating u as well as u deserve and im sorry that tumblr isnt as kind of a place as one would imagine. as a reader myself, i think i found it very hard to understand why a lot of writers were complaining about not getting enough reblogs? and hear me out, i really dont want to offend anyone. but i didnt get it. ive had a tumblr for +10 years now, and ive only just now found myself on the “fan fic side” of it. and idk, i think i was very naïve to think that “oh well but getting 5 reblogs must be as good as anything?? like 5 people liking it enough to reblog it is insane??” but then i put up my own fic about a week ago i think?? and i got like 60 notes?? which i still think is a good amount, but it also very much put be in a place of “oh well maybe im just not a good writer or creative enough” so much so that im not sure ill ever release something again??

i didnt mean for this to get this long, but yeah idk what im trying to say with this?? im sorry for being naïve and not getting others feelings and idk i kind of hope that it will give u the tiniest bit of consolence as to why people seem a bit lazy sometimes?? that it is more out of not understanding rather than that they do not appreciate ur work?? and also this was not to say that i didnt understand why u have to reblog to support, but more of a “readers may not always understand that 5 reblogs for something u used 1 month on writing isnt always enough”

im not sure if my message is clear?? nonetheless i just wanted to say that im very much in love with everything u write and still reread all ur work from time to time. im so happy i stumbled upon ur tumblr bc its helped me greatly on days where i needed it. take a break as long as u want, and even if u dont want to come back - just know that u have blessed us with so amazing stories that will be my faves till the end of time. i can very much see ur dreams of screenwriting coming true!! take care of urself and im so sorry that this turned so long??

- e 💖

Don’t apologize! I’ve been on here for about 8 years and didn’t get it at first either. It’s a learning experience for sure. I think a lot about the notes on fics also depend on the fandom.

Im very lucky and grateful for all the love and I don’t mean that to come off snotty or bitchy in anyway—it’s just very easy to compare yourself to other writers and see their success as perfect and yours as less than.

And I don’t think it’s necessarily a reader problem, but a content problem. We consume so much and don’t realize there are people on the other side. People looking for support and validation that isn’t always given. And I’ve been a silent reader before and regret it so much. But I’ve been trying to remedy that with fic recs and my own reblogs.

Thank you so much. I am certain something will spark interest in the future—heck, maybe it will be a show coming out soon or a movie in the next month. You never know, right?

[rrxnjun]

tbh i love when people tell me their fav artists/music cuz i feel like i just learn a lot about them or like get to know what they are like. and also i just love it when people say/throw in something that i wouldn't expect them to say it's just so fun!!! AND YES TOTALLY AGREE WITH IR TAKE UR MUSIC SHOULD MAKE U HAPPY!!! ahh i love jack manifold he is actually one of the coolest and funniest people out there his streams are just🤌 (okay cool might be a reach but.. /j)

idk my friend says she just skips a lot of parts from episodes with the ones she doesn't like but even if i like or obsess over a show i just can't get my self to finish it (me with the owl house rn;-;) so that method (?) just doesn't help me out😭😭 yeahhh i looked up what it was actually about after i sent the ask cuz i was curious and i didn't really remember hearing about the movie and then i kinda regretted the way i phrased my question🥲but i'm glad it wasn't that bad of a movie!! IM SO HAPPY U KNOW THEM!!! TRUE R5 STAN ISTG😌😌 red velvet is just such a great song i was so obsessed with ittttt but their music just slaps in general

ooo dammnnn slovak drama:oo but i might look up a translation for the song then cuz now im curious:o (and also thank u still for telling me about this song i vibed so hard to it while writing my essays) i feel like slovak arists like them have to be outthere somewhere they might just not be that well know or something but if there actually isn't at all i hope there will be soon!!!!!

YEAH IM SO SAD ABOUT IT☹️but i think it might be better cuz i just have too much school work rn to just go on a trip☹️☹️☹️ PRETTY BUILDINGS ARE THE BEST THERE IS SO MANY OF THEM IN BUDAPEST AND I TAKE A PIC RVERYTIME I SEE A PRETTY ONE ITS THE BEST EVER ITS NOT A WEIRD OBSESSION!!!! and i really hope i will be able to visit the city another time☹️☹️☹️

it won't really be easier until like the end of june so i just hope i survive;-; but thank u though 💞💓💕 and i hope u have a nice and lovely day as well!!!🥳💖💘

(also i saw that tell me who u ship me with post and i just want to say like many other people did that u and haechan would just be very powerful🫢🫢hoping for ur baekhyun concert date with him🫡) (liebestraum anon💕💓)

EXACTLY!!! music taste says so much about a person. and wild unexpected music tastes are so fun like i have a friend that listened to exclusively heavy metal but then played lucifer by shinee on aux and i was like um....what in the- also jack manifold is so dear to me i dont watch his streams but his existence in other ppls videos is always so comedic i love him

WHY WOULD U SKIP PARTS IN EPISODES WHATS EVEN THE POINT OF WATCHING THEN??? thats the same as forcing yourself to watching something 😭😭 if i hate something i just stop bc life is too short yknow what i mean. AND ITS OK u dont have to know abt it djdjdj but i get your concern 😶

AAA if u really want the translation i can translate for u 🥳 i think i looked up the translation for a friend before and wasnt pleased w it bc it didnt really fit the energy so im just gonna do it myself to give the lyrics justice AHAHA if youre interested ofc! glad it helped w essays 😌😌 i physically cant listen to music when writing essays bc then i cant focus so i applaud you HAHA and you are right there must be artists like that here but idk them:((( im gonna try looking for some to appreciate my home country more

I WANNA GO TO BUDAPEST I WAS TALKING ABT THIS W MY FRIEND THE OTHER DAY WHEN WE WERE MAKING PLANS FOR THE SUMMER‼‼ i said i wanna take a train there and just look around and shit she didnt seem convinced but im gonna do it anyway so feel free to be my tour guide we should meet up actually

awh i hope june comes fast for u!! i am chilling rn ((even tho i have 6 essays to write until the end of april) but then i have exams may-jun so i get the stress😩😩 im rooting for u mwah!!

IM SCREAMING. CRYNG. EVERYONE SHOULD STOP TELLING ME THEY SHIP ME W HYUCK BECAUSE I SIMPLY CANNOY DEAL. me @ hyuck: baekhyun concert date when?? or we can just make out in your room and listen to the bambi album instead i dont mind either-

[burnedpages]

hurt and heart break are completely different. and you never realize that until you experience both.

betrayl is the worst kind of heartbreak.

I thought this person and I were going to make it until the very end.

they told me they would never hurt me or do the things that my exs did to me in the past..

they lied.

they told me that they were in love with me. that they couldn't picture spending their life with anybody else... but if that were true, I wouldn't be sitting here feeling like this every day.

if that were true, I wouldn't be sitting at work writing this right now.

if that were true, we would have been dating for over a month now...

we were happy...

at least i thought we were.

we had so much planned.

we had so many dreams.

and then within a blink of an eye, that all changed...

not talking to them every day has got to be the hardest thing I've ever done.

putting my foot down for myself instead of making room for another heart ache, is the hardest thing I've ever had to fucking do.

its my first time doing it, and im not mentally handling it well at all.

I hate that i love them.

I hate that i want to hate them, but no matter how hard I try- i can't.

I hate how happy I was with you, because on your side it was never true.

you say I have no reason to believe anything you say anymore, that's a fact.

and I cannot base a relationship off of that.

I cannot begin a relationship that's already put me through pain before it even officially started.

I dont want to treat you badly. hit you, spit on you etc.. thats not who I am.

you know that I didnt move on yet, because that's who I am. you just wanted to hear me say it.

I dont jump from person to person to distract myself because I don't want to be alone.

I dont even have people in my inbox trying because everybody knows I ghost anyways.

everything reminds me of them.

a song, a random smell, a show, a movie, a post.

I went to the gas station on lunch a few days ago and saw single roses, and my first instinct was to get one- then I realized I had nobody to get it for.

valentines day is coming up, and yet again it'll be a depressing one. doctors appointment, and then clocking in at 4.

I just wanted to be loved how I love.

I wanted to be loved how I was told I was going to be loved.

how i deserve to be loved.

you reached out, and now I have to start all over.

messages saying you're a fuck up and regret everything does not fix anything.

and then to disrespect me by misgendering me in the same breath??

im glad they're sober, but they still did what they did.

and I dont have time or room in my life to put myself through this again.

I need happiness. positivity. love. light. honesty. loyalty. if thats not being given, then I can't give in.

and thats heart breaking because at the end of the day, I'm always going to want them.

maybe some day someone will say they love me and actually love me. and show up for me like I show up for them..

but I wanted it to be you...