#like i do not like my mom but i am so grateful for that one thing. she doesn’t wear makeup either literally only for halloween costumes
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I'm in gen Z and I've got friends who think like this
I wasn't too sheltered as a kid or a teen so like I don't agree with some but I can see the reasoning. Though the asking to masturbate one is wild, like wtf dude that's just like... A weird thing to ask. Also thought it was like a canon event for some ppl to masturbate to like the idea of ppl they found attractive. I've never done that cuz yeah it feels really fucking weird like dawg I know that person, but ASKING is so fucking wild man 😭
And actors younger than 18 what's that about? If it ain't got sexual content I don't see the problem as long as like workplace abuse isn't happening because it's pretty common to my knowledge in the industry.
Like how am I on the other side of my own generations BS 😂😭 I think I should be grateful??
Don't think not smoking and drinking is a bad thing though lmao. But I know a lot of my friends and I were shamed for sex related stuff by our parents. I mean when I was i think 16 or 17 my mother went through *private* ifykyk messages and continued to shame me for things that were said for a month or so after, even getting my MUCH younger sisters involved by telling them "Leaf is doing nasty things' or "Leaf is doing things she knows she shouldn't" and then she'd directly quote things I said to my partner as a way to embarrass me. Kinda weird looking back on it but my mom's kinda fucked up lol
But I had a lot of friends with similar experiences. It doesn't really create a safe place for what are pretty normal feelings :/
But then on the complete opposite side we have shows like Big Mouth and sites like AO3 where it's a very normal thing to be horny and have kinks and it's not shamed, sometimes even encouraged. We grew up wack y'all lol
So lines had to be drawn SOMEWHERE and for a lot of ppl my age it gets to be a little much
Like I have a friend who hates like any sort of sexual reference to underage characters. Which is totally fair they're underage it's whatever. But it's to the point he gets like defensive about it. And he's the dude who's pretty steadfast in his beliefs, but it got to the point even i thought it was a little weird. Like sometimes he'd get mad about making out or slightly heavier relationships between minors, eich again I can see the thought process, but also ppl are having sex by 16 or 17, and it makes sense that characters those ages would be doing similar things. I grew up reading books where teenagers did teenager things, and I feel like there is a level of age appropriate stuff? Like no dawg don't make full ass bdsm shit for teens but I feel like referenced or even vanilla type shit is fine????
I don't have a license so I can't talk-
Working on it though ;v;
And yeah lmao masturbate it's good for you (no literally there are studies saying it's good to do lmfao, like drinking a single glass of red wine before bed once a night is good for you... Unless your a recovering alcoholic then maybe not)
Sorry went on like a whole tangent lol but I'm bored and wanted to throw my two cents as someone who's got friends who think like op mentioned but I... Don't lol.
weird anti ideology finally leaking out into the mainstream
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Keeping Up With The Leclercs |
a/n: this is the more detailed version of the chapters!! y/n has no face claim, the pictures I use are just for reference.
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It was an unusually rainy day in Monte Carlo as the Leclerc twins sat at their mother’s house. y/n was on live with her fans building a lego set while arthur was playing the piano in the back.
“y/n what’s the lip oil you use, it’s so pretty, aw thankyou! I use the Dior lip oil in the shade poppy coral!” She smiles showcasing the product before putting it away.
“oh by the way, I’m back home in Monaco for a bit so that’s my brother playing the piano, he’s very good at it” she says as she continues to build a Lego sit, well atleast until her brother arthur comes into the screen.
“c'est tellement moche” that’s so ugly he says chuckling as her jaw drops. “tu es du genre à parler” you’re one to talk
Soon, Arthur had started helping her as the soft rain pattered against the window of their maman’s cozy house. “y/n who’s your favorite sibling, hmm…” she goes into deep thinking as arthur looks at her expectantly, “Lorenzo” she simply says as arthur scoffs “Not your twin brother?” “…definitely not” she chuckles as they engage in their usual sibling banter.
“I guess someone’s upset a certain someone is out of their league” Arthur nudges her, she gave him a warning look, “aw what’s the matter? You upset that Jo-” before he could finish she puts a hand on his mouth “fermez-la!” Shut up!
arthur chuckles as he nodded “bien sûr chéri” sure cheri he says as they continue building it. It was a studio ghibli's "howls moving castle" and it was so cute. Once they were finished they showed it to the people watching the live, “it’s so cute!” She says admiring their work. It was late so they decided to end the live saying goodbyes to everyone who watched.
y/n.leclcerc posted a story
liked by alexandrasaintmleux, charlesleclerc, charlottedipietro and 67,000 more…
Now, she was in the middle of packing up her suitcase as Arthur scrolled through his phone laying down on her bed. "So how long are you going to be in the US for?" Arthur casually asks, "hmm about a month, and then ill meet up with Charles and Alexandra in Venice for a bit" she says as she packed everything.
"Damn, booked a lot of jobs for once? I'm surprised anyone would cast your ugly face" he chuckles making her roll her eyes, "don't you have some relationship problems to worry about" she fires back making his face drop. "Thats not fair! you know Carla-" before he finishes, their mother Pascale comes in as well.
"Salut Maman" hello mama they say unanimously, as she smiled at them. "Tu pars déjà ?" you're leaving already? she asks y/n as she sighs, "oui mama" yes mama she says hugging her mom. Pascale wraps her arms around the girl tightly, "ton voyage a paru si court, reviens plus souvent à Monaco ma petite fille" your trip felt so short, come back to Monaco more often my little girl. y/n smiles, "I promise I will maman" she says as she packs the last of her things.
Pascale takes a seat next to Arthur on y/n's bad, "so what all do you have planned for the month?" Arthur asks. y/n sits down, "I'm actually not sure, Lucille sent me an entire list of my schedule, I'm actually so grateful for my manager" she chuckles as she pulls up her schedule on the phone. "How is Lucille by the way?" Arthur says his cheeks a bit red, she glares at him "You stay away from Lucille" she says as his face drops "What! why!" he says as Pascale looks at them in confusion, "why cherie?" she asks confused as well.
"A. you're a terrible boyfriend, B. you have to sort things out with Carla because I love her, and C. I'm not going to let you mess up a good thing going on for me" she says crossing her arms, Arthur groans "I am not!" he says to his twin who scoffs "Do you know the amount of friendships I have lost because of you and Charles?" she says. "Fine fine ill stay away from Lucille quelle galère" what a drag he says rolling his eyes. "Maman tell him to stay away from Lucille" she says, "ok ok je pense qu'il comprend" ok ok i think he gets it she says in her usual soft voice. Once things settle down, Arthur and Pascale exit the room so that she could get some rest before her very long and tiring flight.
The next morning as she's brushing her teeth she gets a call from Lucille, "Goodmorning y/n! I just sent you a screenshot of the boarding pass!" Lucille chirps, "Thankyou so much Lucille, ill see you when I land" she says as she hangs up. She quickly gets her hand bag ready making sure she has her essential such as her passport, and some self care products.
Arthur and Pascale drive her to the airport, she hugs both of them tightly, "I'll miss you guys" she says pulling away, "yeah yeah I guess I will too" Arthur says playfully rolling his eyes to which she punches his shoulder. "oh ma petite fille, envoie-moi un message quand tu atterris" oh my little girl, text me when you land as she pulls y/n into another tight hug to which she reciprocates. "oui maman" yes mama she says before finally going into the line. "she waves to them with a quick I love you and before she knows it, she's on the plane.
y/n.leclerc's story
charlesleclerc replied > safe travels cherie!
alexandrasaintmelux replied > see you soon ange!
she smiles as she responds to their messages, she shuts her phone off after a while. Her head resting on the airplane window as she extends her legs since she was in first class. her work in the US hadn't even started yet and she was already feeling so stressed. she had 38 modeling shoots, two runways, and about 7 public events, one of them including seeing one of her biggest crushes in just a month. she decides to just shut her eyes and let it go to the back of her head.
y/n.leclerc
monaco 24' you will be missed <3 @ alexandrasaintmleux, @ arthurleclerc, @ chanel
liked by lorenzotl, charlesleclerc, and 1,200,0000 others.....
alexandrasaintmleux mon petit amour💌 my little love
^ y/n.leclerc mon ange 💞 my angel
lorenzotl vous me manquez les gars ☹️ miss you guys
^ y/n.leclerc tu me manques davantage😔💞 miss you more
chanel that's our ambassador!🫡
^ y/n.leclerc my fav brand💌
lec1ercs sososo pretty
lilymean1 your white dress is so pretty! where's it from!
^ y/n.leclerc Chanel! the 2023 summer drop :)
asmcloset I love her friendship with Alex
#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x sister!reader#arthur leclerc x sister!reader#arthur leclerc x reader
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Not me adding annotations to a book to make it more accessible for my mom when she will read it
#i am once again complaining about italian translators not adding enough context and explainations in queer non fiction books#90% of non queer people or people who do not speak english don't have enough fucking context to get certain things#i need tranlators to add the necessary context to make these books accessible for everyone#olay surely mainly queer people will read a book about going outside the binary but if we want more people to understand us#we need to add the necessary context to make these things comprehensible to everyone#both those who do not have a queer background and therefore have never see certain words and those who do not speak any english#why the fuck are we assuminng everyone reading this knows english and the linguistic and cultural context between certain words#most people i know do not know one word on english and since it's an italian translation you should make it completly accessible for anyone#i don't want people to read this with their phone in their hands to look for meaninga here and there#i have had this complaint before and i will keep complaining#it's frustrating because this book makes the concept of going outside the binary very easy and accessible and the translation is not as good#also the translation of this particular chapter did a terrible job language wise too so i can't expect much#the concept is there but oh boy do a few sentences look like they have been translated with google#so yep i resorted to making my own notes because i want my mom to read this and understand it without here needing to ask me for context#i mean i want conversations to start but not because of translation reasons if you know what i mean#and it would be very unmotivating to read a book that has too many words you don't know bc the translator took things for grated#cris speaks#i am done complaining for now#the og book is super good tho i am happy i am reading it again after so many years#the---hermit
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:c
#i luv my friends ;-; i feel like i’m gonna lose my mind when i’m not living right by all my friends lmao 😭#i’ve literally been hanging out w ppl like at least every other day if not every day#we made semi spontaneous plan to go to pride tmrwwweww 🥹🥹 i’m excited#i just am so happy that i get to spend sm time w ppl rn bc we’re all somewhat free bc summer 😭#also idk i was just thinking abt this recently but like#it’s kinda new to me to like actually be comfortable/confident in knowing my friends want/like my presence ;-;#even then i’m not that confident LMAO bc after sm time together i’m like surely they’ll get sick of me#like we’ve seen each other every day the past like three days#but no 🥹 ugh like idk man i had one elementary to sort of middle and high school friendship#that like fucked me up i feel like lmfao 💀#like girl sidelined me so much for other friends that i just#:l and cried so much bc of that 😀 anyway 😀#so like idk i’m just so grateful rn 😭😭😭#also was thinking abt it recently bc my mom made me feel judged/ made me feel like she was annoyed that i was staying here on campus#when i technically don’t need to and my main/only reason is bc friends#and after that conversation w her i got kinda annoyed bc i was like#i have had so many conversations w you where i was sad af or frustrated that my friends wouldn’t reach out to me ever#or my friend who never paid attention to me when other friends were around#like i don’t think she’s actually judging like me staying for friends but it was that one conversation we were both kinda annoyed idk#and i was just like . pls#anyway 😀 i always have so many friend thoughts i always be overthinking it LOL#anyway anyway i need to be up in like 6 hrs LOLLLLLL pride tho yay 🥰🥰🥰#rip me not having clean cute clothes for this LOL 🤪#ong last yr i tied my hair in a ponytail w like rainbow hair ties tied down the ponytail……#idk if i have those but if i do maybe i should do that again LOL#idk might be too lazy tho we’ll see how much time i have to get ready when i wake up 🤡#jeanne talks#TOO MUCH BYE
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UPDATE UPDATE I AM GETTING A NEW TABLET I AM GETTING A NEW TABLET FOR DRAWING AS AN EARLY BIRTHDAY GIFT I REPEAT—
#I AM GENUINELY SO HAPPY RN!! my ipad has nearly Died as you can see from my latest posts if you've seen them..#the thing Cannot operate my drawing app anymore it is too Dead and too Old (nearly a decade old)#SO I AM. VERY GLAD I GET TO HAVE A GOOD RECENT MODEL WITH AN INCORPORATED STYLUS PEN#THAT IS ALSO RECOMMENDED FOR DRAWING!!!! WITHOUT HAVING TO FORCE MYSELF TO DRAW ON MY PHONE!!!#i usually get soso scared asking for such expensive things i feel like i'm too greedy and ungrateful when i do that#but. i am So So Grateful to my mom for actually being the one to Suggest getting me a new tablet for drawing#thamk you mama...#yomoposting
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~ ~ ~
#today I am sad about something that I know objectively is dumb#my 30th birthday is next week and the party will be next Saturday and I’m having a dinner at a nice restaurant in town#I wasn’t supposed to make it to 30 and never thought I would but now somehow I have and so this birthday is like…#a really huge deal to me you know#and I always wanted to be able to have a big party to celebrate this specific occasion and in my head I pictured all my friends/family there#I figured this would be one of the biggest parties I’d ever get to throw because to me this is the biggest milestone I’ve gotten to so far#but out of all the people I’ve invited the most that will probably reasonably show is about 10#and even that’s a bit iffy because tbh I’m pretty sure my bestie will flake on me like he always does#and if he doesn’t show up that might just end the friendship but that’s another matter entirely#also iffy because I haven’t gotten a lot of responses still even though I made the event and sent invites two weeks ago#I just… thought I had more friends than that if that makes sense#like I had bigger parties with more people attending in high school and I barely had any friends then#I’ve thrown low key Halloween parties in my mom’s apartment that had more people show up#now I’m at the most important moment of my life (so far) and I’ll barely have anyone with me#lately it just feels like less and less people care about me for real despite how many I know around work or how many are on my Facebook#it feels like my world keeps shrinking and I really don’t want that because it’s been small enough as it is#I just feel like I’m never really going to find my place or have big groups of friends like everyone else#I’m never going to have a group of friends or people I can rely on to spend time with me when needed#as it is planning things gets harder the older we get anyway just due to needing to tend to adult life#guess I still just want what everyone else has and I don’t know why I can’t have those things#and I know it’s stupid and selfish and whiny but I really want to cry because I’m so depressed that I have barely anyone in my life at all#barely anyone to celebrate something so important to me and so few who even seem to care at all either#I’m grateful for everyone I do have honestly#but that doesn’t offset this weird pain in my chest over this whole situation#maybe I should just curl up and cry until this all passes and I can go back to pretending it doesn’t matter#personal
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how do i stop feeling like i'm in trouble all the time fr. sitting here on my lunch break like everyone's gonna be soooo mad when u get back...from lunch...which you are allowed to have.....(?)
#social anxiety kicking my ass so bad every day#unless my supervisor actually says hello you are doing an amazing job today and i dont hate you im like omg she hates me bc i suck......#miscounted the kids yesterday and left one on the playground for like two minutes and im still traumatized#she wasnt alone or anything there was another class w teachers but 😬🔫#killing myself killing myself killing myself#i counted them five times today tho#and the playground was empty which made it easier but ugh#infinitely better than my last job and im actually good at this but i still feel like my supervisor doesn't like me#even tho i think she's just a bit awk and has anxiety also lol#she was reading a book abt coping with anxiety the other day lol#also my other coworker w the drama likes me but the drama is always threatening to happennagain bc she doesnt like our supervisor#anyway#my mentor just got here before lunch for her half day shift so i feel better but aaaaa#way less stressful than my last job tho and im grateful but very stressed lately#also the owner of the school was in the room im taking lunch for a while and im like omg she's gonna be annoyed that im here#she's gonna judge me for having a chocolate bar like a shitty spoiled young person or whatever and listening to music bc im rude#i need to calm down fr#she complained abt lazy inconsiderate young people at my job interview so now im paranoid abt every interaction w her lmao#bc i am a lazy oblivious young person and also i took a sick day my first week which is what she was complaining abt said young people doing#but i legitimately was throwing up i Had to call out#that's life in child care#but ughhhh#i was determined not to bc this is a job where they expect you to come in even if ur sick#but puking is my limit i genuinely couldn't do it#anyway.#normal adult experience#doctor who told my mom i was high functioning i want our money back
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🦋
#when i was growing up my mom Only gave me incredibly inappropriate advice lmao.#i was raised by my toxic high school best friend-- except she was like that my whole life lmao.#she told me once to corner this girl i had problems w in the bathroom during class one day&beat the fuck out of her#&if i did to call my mom before i did it so she could call school&tell them she was taking me the period before so i had an alibi lmao.#she gossiped about me to my friends when she was angry w me-- something that actually ruined my life in a real way#when she was angry at me so she told a friend of mine i was cheating on my boyfriend at the time so that 'friend' told him#(she just wanted him to know he deserved better&she was there for him if he needed someone to talk to :))#&he beat me almost to death+threw me off the back of his motorcycle lmao.#when i mentioned that he thought i was cheating on him to my mom bc of a friend telling him i was my moms immediate response was to#deny vehemently that she has anything at all to do w it-- something i had not thought of until right then&realized the time my then bf#thought i cheated on him my mom was the only person who knew i had gone out. shed actually threatened to tell him herself#bc i was out bc i was arguing w her at the time lmao.#every memory i have of that woman makes me feel queasy lmao.#every time she yelled at me&told me i was depressing&i ruined everything w my horrible attitude.#the time she told me she didnt want to wait for me while i was limping up stairs bc she was in a bad mood&we were late for a movie#she wanted to see so she literally stomped her foot before yelling at me to hurry up lmao.#every time she called me selfish&cruel&insisted that the problem in every relationship i had was me#ESP the relationship i had w her.#i miss my mom sometimes. i hate my mom a lot of the time.#but more than anything i am just so fucking grateful she's out of my life.#i dont think ive changed a whole lot at my core throughout my life but im absolutely positive cutting her out of my life made it possible#for me to be a better person just in general.
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i just will never forget when the whole tramp stamps band scandal happened on tiktok and there were people in the comments saying they knew they were plants because they didn’t have “real alt makeup.” like i get the concept of “oh they’re clearly trying to emulate a culture they aren’t a part of” but the phrasing of it just truly made me lose it. like the idea that even within spaces where you are being weird and creative and having fun and playing with style you can be judged for doing your makeup “wrong.” how the fuck is there a real or right way to do “alt makeup” my god
#my mom raised me very anti-makeup i had to wear it for dance performances and otherwise not only wasn’t allowed to#but genuinely didn’t really want to#and sometimes i hate that i never learned How To Do makeup#like. that’s unhealthy thinking.#i never learned how to use foundation and thank god bc it feels nasty on my face so why would i!!!#but overall i AGREE w her and am so glad i didn’t grow up wearing makeup#like i do not like my mom but i am so grateful for that one thing. she doesn’t wear makeup either literally only for halloween costumes#so it’s not like she didn’t let me bc she didn’t approve or whatever. it’s truly her belief that she lives by#she would talk about how sad it was that her friends wouldn’t leave the house without makeup and stuff. and she’s right!#i do love to put on a little eyeliner and colorful eyeshadow when i go to a concert or something#and maybe eventually lipstick if i ever stop wearing masks (altho i haven’t wanted to bc even in a resting postition#the wet part of my mouth that the lipstick doesn’t stick to is exposed#and i hate that especially bc i like really bold colors like deep reds or blacks. but also feeling Bad about that is exactly what i’m trying#to get away from)#anyway if you claim makeup is just for yourself and about art and having fun then why are you shaming other people for how they do it!!#how are you any better than anyone else!!!
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truly, Fred Durst. It’s just one of those days!
#all the dash lights and check engine lights of my life are flashing right now#it is a moment and it will pass but it’s tough!#I have to pay every bill in creation#I overslept#I have so many things that need to be taken care of#I have to get to the laundromat this weekend#I need to go food shopping#every single thing needs paying. we are out of everything. everything is a bit messy#mom has actually helped me keep the kitchen really spotless this week so I’m grateful for that bc if I had dishes piling up too I 💀#I am so anxious I was picking my poor skin lol I have no fingernails this week 😭#it’s just all a mess#Keiko desperately needs a bath#I need to walk her right now so I’m gonna do that#I need to work like 9.5 hours today if I can#and there’s even more I’m not thinking of#I need to renew my license registration and inspection b4 the end of next month#I need to apply for this certain job my friend recommended me for#I’m watching the cat again this weekend#so I need to get the house ready#I need to ……. just do one thing at a time
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the high stakes tennis match between asoiaf, dragon age, and tes in the ol leg brain at the moment ✨😵💫
#leg replays skyrim#leg.txt#i have began……. developing the post dance clowns ✨😵💫#and finally putting things down on PAPER (well like google docs and notion and a cute family tree maker ✨☺️)#for the asoiaf babies….. proud of myself though!#GRATEFUL TO THE ASOIAF BABIES FOR MAKING ME ACTUALLY FUCKING COMMIT TO DEVELOPING A VERSE like…… it’s so rare for me?#the ones that have achieved that are fallout / tes / d*ragon a*ge / amr and fernweh <3#SPEAKING OF THE DRAGONS i finished absolution and WAHHHH the way i miss my da babies so much ✨😵💫🤍🤍😖#and i need to play my new world state bc ……. hehee yea <3#étiennette may also not be a hawke anymore though i do see her as being the companion to her? and she still marries seb!#I JUST REALIZED HOW I AM A BUFFOON WHEN IT COMES TO MY BABY F*ENRIS and i need my hawke to end up with him i have toooo ✨😖#i also want to have a trevelyan who isn’t the inquisitor but an ally of lhysas but like….. whomst the new baby ends up with in that then ✨👀#also in regards to tes……… vinda has been through a LOT lately ✨😵💫#i finished the dark brotherhood and thieves guild quest lines and!!!!!#other than liri! karliah looked at murder baby and was like..! new child acquired! sksjxjx she has another adopted mom <3#also not brynjolf turning to caranthir and being like ‘if you won’t take her mind if I do?’ ✨😏#and cara was about to turn him into a FROG sksjxjx ✨😠#at this point they are like……. VERY VERY close now ✨🤡#i think tomorrow ill do a few lore postings for the tes and asoiaf babiess <3
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Okay, so who knows how to make money when you can hardly move your body?
Especially in a place that is very unlikely to care about accommodating disabilities…
I think I’m going to drop dead one of these days.
I feel like such absolute TrashDookieGarbage.
I don’t think I’m suicidal.
I’m honestly too squeamish about it, and also I’m convinced that I would probably fail at that anyway, since that’s all I ever seem to be able to do, so why even bother trying, ya know?
But my body is just going to stop.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Fuck.
#I’m being carted off to Florida once again#damn my mental illness#and damn my ex#i can’t believe he rescinded his offers of help#I can’t believe he kept everything in until it blew up our relationship#I warned him very specifically about that when we met#like you have to tell me if something is bothering you#or I will not know#and then to not help me because I couldn’t get out within a single month#like even fully able bodied neurotypicals would struggle with that#I have been Completely Destroyed by it#like I’m so physically weak I have been having to take baths instead of showers#I took a shower last week and almost passed out#I have absolutely no physical or emotional energy#and while I am grateful I have people who will help me not be literally homeless#being with my mother is The Worst Thing For ME#she has zero ability to change her behavior#she promises she will be respectful of my personal space and feelings#and then puts on Fox News the second we get to the hotel#and tells me ‘don’t be triggered’#and then that I am ‘an ugly person’ for being upset about it#normally I am able to hold back how I actually feel about her when I’m around her#but I do not have that ability right now#and she just knows exactly the wrong thing to say#to push my buttons like her name is Joe and she works in a button factory#I just seriously can’t fucking handle it#while I was being extremely dramatic on a phone call with my brother and step dad#the immediate dismissal from Every Single One of them#of my expressal of distress about how mom literally abused me#just 😑😑😑😑😑
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I think it’s kind of funny that my parents repeatedly brought up this one written piece I did in sixth grade throughout my time in middle school and high school
Which was about me wanting our home to just
Be peaceful
It is beyond me why they found that so profound instead of, I don’t know, sad?
Anyways parents that hate each other but stay together ‘for the kids’ please get a divorce
#my family isn’t that bad mind you#like#I was only hit a couple times as a kid#and I’m grateful for all my opportunities blah blah blah this is a tumblr vent post I don’t have to be fucking perfect#arguments just happen so easily#I used to be really argumentative as a kid#especially with my dad#but now I’m mostly very averse to conflict#I’m tired of wasting my energy and not being listened to#like the only way I was able to get my dad to take my transition seriously was by telling him that being perceived as a woman#makes me want to kms. he didn’t need to fucking know that but he wouldn’t BELIEVE ME#my mom still misgenders me frequently lmao I can count the times she has gendered my properly to my face on one hand#my dad still misses who I was as a toddler#my mom wishes I never grew up#im always going to be the weirdo of my family. I hate myself but I’d hate myself more if I tried to fake who I am anymore than I already do
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Okay I know I don’t shut up about it but let me scream okay 😭
#I just saw a post on Twitter about the feeling of not having teenage romantic interaction and how it leaves you feeling really wrong#and everyone in the comments is like 17-19 and here I am at 25 thinking about how#well anyways I’m sorry I know it’s silly I’m just a little tired is all#being lonely stinks 🫠 and I don’t ever want y’all to feel burdened by my feelings#so I try not to make those feelings seem so big#I should start tagging these again#my talk posts ? I used to tag them but I would forget#I guess I’ll do that from now on#melifails#oh oh since I already made this post I might as well blab#I 😭 am high key tempted to download tinder#I don’t *want* to actually use it I just wanted to see 👉🏽👈🏽#but I think you need an account and idk I don’t wanna seem desperate#not in a shaming other people and myself type of way#absolutely not I think it’s awesome that it exists#I mean in a ‘my mom used to brag about how I didn’t care about boys only school to all the family members at parties’ type of way#in a ‘Melissa be honest are you a lesbian?’ badgered type of way#in a ‘because if you are I love you’ ‘no boys just don’t like me’ type of way#in a ‘never admitting to my mom I’m very lonely and only alive for my family’ type#of way#that one didn’t let me finish 🗣️#anywyas I feel very shallow because this doesn’t really matter does it#there are real problems in the world and I’m but a spec of dust waiting to be scooped up by the broom#🧎🏽♀️ I’m sorry I’m making it seem like a bigger deal than it really is#I’ll be better about it#all that aside#my best friend invited me to go to universal in September and I 😤😤 I gotta prepare myself for the burden of prolonged outdoor activities#🥺 tbh I’m scared I’m not going to fit in the seats for the rides#that’s how we became friends: she stuck with me when I didn’t fit on a ride. I never told her that was the day I loved her and it still make#me cry. forever grateful for her and I want her to be happy she’s the Eli I’m always talking about :3 anyways this is my last tag (30limit)
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i know i'm speaking as a complete stranger with quite some privilege...but if there's anything that i have learned so far, it's that your mental health is most important and that money will somehow arrive later on. i hate to see you feel like this and i'm wishing you so much love, happiness and luck<3 if no one told you it's okay to quit, as someone who has done that multiple times, it's okay
thank you so much for your concern and your support! it honestly means the world to me and i wholeheartedly appreciate it 🫶🏻 it's nice to hear advice from someone who has experience with quitting as this is my first full-time job. however i don't think it would be wise of me to just quit without having something else lined up already. i wouldn't be eligible for unemployment benefits if i just quit myself either. i definitely don't agree with my mom though that just because i'm new i have to push through everything, accept poor treatment and not have any demands. it's clear that she's from another generation where people thought if they always work hard, persevere through all adversities and never open their mouths it will pay off eventually. but it doesn't because employers don't have your best interest at heart and just want cheap workforce. and there still are people who never open their mouths and just accept poor treatment but i don't want to be one of them. i already mentioned that i'm dissatisfied with the current distribution of saturdays but the response wasn't positive at all from management. unfortunately i have to work there another year bc i received a scholarship. but if nothing changes within this year (and currently things are just getting worse) i will not be staying there. of course i could pay back the scholarship money bc like you said money will come back eventually but i don't want to spend all my savings on that. i'm currently looking into the job offer i found recently and i'm gonna stay on the lookout bc i definitely won't tolerate being taken advantage of just bc i'm the new one. not to sound conceited but i know they need me more than i need them bc it's really hard to find people for this profession and i know i do my work well. your message definitely made me less afraid of quitting in the future but i just want to be sure i have something secure lined up first. thank you so much once again, i'm wishing you only the very best on all your endeavors 💗🫂💫🌱💌🥠✨
#thank you for worrying about me that's very sweet of you 🥹💘#i will try to not let the things at work get to me anymore#i was just very overwhelmed the other day and couldn't help but crying but honestly this job is not worth my tears#i know i'm a smart capable person and if my contributions are not appreciated there i will gladly walk out once the year is up#i will just keep doing my job and yes i will persevere for this one year but if nothing changes i'm out 🏃🏼♀️#my mom keeps saying that's it's inappropriate of me to have so many demands since i just started working there#but what's inappropriate about wanting to be treated with respect and have fair work distribution???#she was also like 'no one wants to work anymore' how about no one wants to be treaded like shit anymore while barely making any money#going grocery shopping nowadays is truly horrifying everything is so expensive like my heart sinks seeing some of these prices#we bought strawberries for 7€ today... it was a kilo but still.....#anyways i'm rambling but bottom line is i hate capitalism!#i know i should be grateful i have a job at all and i am bc the job market is brutal but that doesn't mean i have to tolerate everything#especially bc my pay isn't great either#replies#when sad#anonymous
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me: *halfway through an embroidery project on black cloth*
my mother: you know, i have black cloth stowed away
well whoop-dee-doo, what am i supposed to do, start over?
#like when i handmade a rug#because she had literally pulled the one in my room out from under my feet#making me land on my ass#i was months into making it#and halfway theough she says#you know you can use the one upstairs#oh really mother#the one you pulled out from under me#like wtf am i supoosed to do with Oh I Have Black Cloth#great so do i#that i had to buy#and i am embroidering#but nooo she tells me now and i’m supposed to be grateful?#also great mom good to know you have thread#it’s not the same colour as the one i am using so i can’t just switch over to it#thanks for that too#not like i had to go buy more#anyway#dear mom#randomness#like i seriously do not understand why she said anything#and all this because i told her the cotton thread from great aunt is so old it disintegrates on the needle#and she tells me there’s more? woohoo
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