#like i complain but i know it’s a process and colouring is hard but…. idk man i think spending some time getting his skin right is seay

[kcd2]

what you said about the fob art... I see (a few) people uncomfortable with the too-light pete art but i so rarely see people uncomfortable with the too-dark art, it was making me crazy like, do they think it's less colorist to emphasize the difference?? anyway thanks for sayin somethign

me posting that wont do anything at all so no need to thank me it just kinda got me riled up extra hard today so i had to just explode briefly 😭 and god yeah.. another thing i see is people colouring him way too dark whilst attributing common “evil” physical tropes to him like vampirism or when he’s in more provocative poses etc and its just 🫠 man

[touchme-teezme]

Last Pick.

PAIRING | collegeboy!mingi x fab!reader

TAGS | angst, smut, friends to lovers(?), p0rn with a plot with a cliffhanger (oopsie), lots of kissing, oral, reader was angry then h0rny…and then sad :( oh! and mingi’s lowkey a hoe

RATINGS | NSFW 18+ (minors DNI!)

SONGS | Cherry Hill - Russ, That's why I love you - SiR & Sabrina Claudio & Do you like me? - Daniel Cesar

SUMMARY | you and mingi are best friends. he likes you, but you love him. one fight changes the trajectory of your friendship forever.

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ i didn't know if i wanted to write angst or smut... so here's both? a bonus fic to celebrate the hard (pun intended) launch of my blog! it’s a bit more dramatic than i’m used to but that’s what creative writing is for. i have a few other members in my drafts. i plan to update sometime this week. might just spam them idk. i've been in such a writing mojo lately; i think i just miss ateez haha. also if you’re new, english is not my first language so if i get some terminologies mixed up, sorry!! that's all, enjoy ya freaks.

+ 💌 click here to see my Love Interrupted series masterlist [ot8] — check out the other parts!

inspired by a quote from ‘save me an orange’ by hayley grace. “Stop looking at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like I’m someone you could actually love.”

It was getting late, and you were growing tired.

Mentally tired. You were tired of hearing the same stories, the same kind of complaining, and most of all, tired of pathetically waiting on the sidelines. You’ve been avoiding the truth for so long that you didn’t notice it consumed you.

You weren’t Mingi’s type. He liked their personalities, bright, funny, and effortlessly interesting. Feminine, sexy and confident. Girls that could lead and had interesting hobbies. Compared to his colourful dating history, you felt like you weren’t anything particularly special.

You finally accepted that tonight, while drinking on your balcony as you listened to how his tinder dates this month went. At the mention of the second girl (whose name you already forgot), you were already dying inside.

Before you thought it wouldn’t get any worse, he went off topic and started talking about his future and what he actually wanted.

He blurted out that he should just marry you if he was still single at 35, declaring he had officially given up on the shrinking dating pool.

He looked at you with a mix of admiration and bliss in his eyes. That stupid, goddamn part of your brain convinced you it could happen. He acknowledged that small 0.0001% possibility of you and him ending up together, so there was actually a chance you could actually be with him.

But reality sunk in and drowned you.

Song Mingi would never love you.

That’s when the little glimmer of hope you’d carried throughout your friendship shattered. The shards had cut you and hurt bled out.

“Stop looking at me like that.” You sighed.

“Like what?”

“Like I’m someone you could actually love.”

Mingi didn’t know what to say at first, but at least a hundred responses came to his mind.

His face (which usually said whatever he was thinking for him) settled into a look that screamed Where did THAT come from? for him.

That was enough to discourage you altogether. You let silence grow between you two, quietly finishing your last sip with nothing but the sounds of midnight Seoul traffic beneath you.

You set the glass bottle on the table and rose from your chair. “I’m going to bed. You can hang out here or just leave or whatever.”

Mingi took a few seconds to process the shift in mood before he ran after you inside. He thought you two were having some decent conversations, but he got ahead of himself like he usually does.

“Hey, hey, what’s going on?”

You paused and turned around slowly. You were trying to carefully pick out the right words from what you were feeling.

“Nothing. I’m just tired.”

“I know, that’s why I came. You weren’t really replying to me and San said he hasn’t heard from you. I…I just wanted to see you.”

“Well, you saw me. You can go.” You shrugged.

Mingi furrowed his eyebrows. “If this is about what I said about marrying you, I wasn’t serious. I know you don’t believe in marriage and—“

You let out a wry scoff, cutting his weak explanation short. You could’ve been mean, throw him out, laugh it off and say you were kidding. But you couldn’t ignore that feeling in your chest anymore.

With eyes shut, you murmured, “I hate how you make me feel sometimes.” and when you opened your eyes, they were already watery.

Mingi's face fell. "Hey, c’mon, I didn't mean to upset you."

He approached you delicately, his large hands encasing yours with a gentle touch. If he were to pull you in for one of his bear hugs, you might explode.

You quickly stepped back, creating distance between as you refused his hands. “That’s all you do lately. You don’t even realise half of the shit you say and how much it hurts to hear.”

His eyebrows furrowed, he was now growing very concerned. “I thought we were friends.”

“Do friends make each other feel like they’re the last pick of the litter?”

Mingi's eyes widened. "Last pick? Hey, what is going on with you?"

You laughed, but it was devoid of humour. "Let me break this down for you. All I have been hearing about these days are your dates, your perfect girls, how you have no connection with them so you’re going to die alone and yet you’re still choosing to sleep with the entire city. Then you throw out this ridiculous idea of how you want to settle down eventually, and when you’ve had your fun, you would marry me. Do you have any idea how that feels?"

He looked taken aback. “But… what I said, that was a joke and—“

"A joke?!” Your voice rose. "My feelings are a joke to you? Do you have any idea how long I've been…”

You stopped yourself, your mouth hanging slightly open as you realised there was no point. You had no business convincing a man to want you.

Still, the volume and hurt in your voice stunned him into silence despite you not finishing your sentence.

"You know what? Just get out." You seemed firm and dismissive, yet your heart was breaking. "I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending that I'm okay with just being your friend if this is how it’s going to be until you… decide to settle. You have to go."

Mingi stood there, shock and confusion written all over his face. "You don't mean that. Please, we can talk about this.”

"No, Mingi. Just leave," you insisted, your voice cracking as you further widened the space between you, your hands held up in surrender as you walked away. "I'm done."

Yet another awkward silence grew between you. For a moment, Mingi didn’t move. He just watched you slowly walk towards your closed bedroom door disappointed.

Then, as if something snapped inside him. He finally realized what this was about.

You had feelings for him.

You didn’t say it out loud, but it made sense and Mingi felt like the biggest asshole in the world. He crossed the distance between you in two quick strides, desperate to reach you. His hand grabbed your shoulder first, turning you around.

“No, we’re talking about this.”

“I have nothing else to say to you. Go fuck someone new on tinder and just leave me out of it.”

“Dude, come on this is not how we talk to each other.” He was getting way too close to you.

“I couldn’t give two shits about how we talk to each other when you’ve pissed me off. So now, you have to go.”

“You almost said it a minute ago. Tell me why the girls bother you, why what I said bother you. I need to hear it.” He demanded.

Okay, that pissed you off more than you already were. Your chest heaved with the intensity of your emotions, the words bubbling up from a place you had kept buried for too long.

“This is stupid,” You whispered, shaking your head as your eyes continued watering as your gaze pierced into his. “You’re stupid, and you make me feel stupid.”

“Say what you wanted to, and I’ll go, and we never have to speak again.”

“So that’s it? You want an ego boost? You wanna feel on top?!” You practically yelled in his face.

“If that’ll make you be fucking honest for once, it might be worth it!”

“You’re so pretentious. I can’t believe I ever stuck around this long!”

“Why did you then, huh? Tell me exactly why you did!”

His yelling echoed in your apartment. You felt your heart beating in your throat as you stared at his lips.

Fuck it.

You closed the final few inches of distance between you in a swift motion. Gripping onto his shirt, you pulled him towards you forcefully, crashing your lips onto his with all the built-up anger and frustration pouring out.

Mingi was completely caught off guard by the intensity of the kiss. But the second you tried to pull away, he grabbed you back in. His hand gripped your waist tightly, pulling you against him as the kiss deepened.

He lifted one of your legs up to the sides of his hip as he pushed you up against the bedroom door, cushioning the impact with his palm on the back of your head. The heat between your legs was growing and rubbing against his crotch was making it worse.

Your hands were exploring his chest, his shoulders, his face and his hair. You finally gasped for air, tilting your head up which invited him to kiss down your chin to your neck.

“I hate you, I fucking hate you.” I whispered out, shaking your head. Baffled at how good of a kisser he was, but with how he was spending his weekends, it wasn’t exactly a mystery.

He bent down to hoist you up by your thighs, effortlessly wrapping them around his waist. With one of your arms snaked around his neck for support, the other reached behind to open the door.

“Hate me later.” He muttered, kissing you again as he carried you into your dark bedroom.

He laid you down, sandwiching you between his chest and your mattress. You could feel him getting hard through the tin fabric of his Adidas shorts.

He smelled so fucking good. His natural scent mixed with a hint of the cologne you got for him for his birthday made your imagination go wild. Your hands reached the hem of his shirt like an animal instinct, tempted to rip it off him if he didn’t take it off in the next few seconds.

He pulled up and tugged his shirt over his head when he noticed your neediness. In the faint light of the opened door behind him, you could see the outline of his toned body.

Soft streetlights from outside the window above the bed frame gently illuminated his face that looked down at you like you were a full course meal and he was starving.

You have found Mingi handsome since the first day you met. Hell, even he knew he was handsome but something about how he looked at that moment sent chills all throughout your body.

When he leaned back down over you, you couldn’t resist reaching out to his face to caress his cheek, your thumb brushing back and forth near the beauty mark on his face.

He took your hand gently, kissing the back of it. Guiding your hand to his chest, he let you trace your fingertips down his body.

You almost forgot why you were angry.

“Do you want to do this?” He asked, still sounding a little breathless from the escalation.

You looked up from your hand on his lower abdomen, “If you leave now I might actually kill you.”

almost.

He took in bottom lip with his teeth to hide an excited smile, before leaning down to capture your lips in another kiss. This time, he moved slower, savouring whatever was left of that cherry lip balm you had on. “I wasn’t planning to.”

You smiled into the next kiss. Typically you’re not supposed to enjoy having the tongue of the person you were just screaming at in your mouth, but you wanted it there for as long as possible. In fact, you wanted that tongue everywhere on you.

Mingi on the other hand was trying really hard to focus but he could literally feel your nipples through the t-shirt you still had on.

Why the fuck was it even still on, he had no idea.

He was now thinking about how you did not have a bra on the entire time he was hanging out at your house, wondering how often it had been happening without him realising.

You grabbed onto the sides of his hips, and groaned in his mouth. He flipped over, positioning you so you were centred on his hard cock. You readjusted your legs to straddle him comfortably, your arms crossing behind his neck for support as he was sitting up.

His hands found their way to your ass, squeezing it in encouragement as you started bucking your hips against him. Your nails scratching up his shoulders as you started to wonder if the rumours about his dick size were true — all while the friction was driving him insane with arousal.

He helped you take your baggy t-shirt over your head. Delighted that you weren’t wearing a bra, he even fixed your hair once it was off, carefully flipping it behind your shoulders. He slid a hand to the small of your bare back, stealing a quick glance at your face.

You were the prettiest girl he knew. He had told you that a few times, but stopped once he realised you were never going to believe him. He’d be lying if he said he was never attracted to you, he just could never find the courage to cross that line. He was afraid of losing you more than anyone else he’d ever met.

“What?” You simply asked.

Doe eyed, topless, in his arms. Mingi could’ve sworn he had a wet dream about this once. His eyes dipped to your chest without saying a word, and he buried his face there. You rolled your eyes, but inside you were screaming with joy.

He caught your left nipple between his swollen lips while he massaged the other in his free hand. You squirmed when you felt him nibble, and twist you like a personal bop it. You even felt the fucker smirk against your skin at your reaction.

Your hand moved to roughly grip on the hair on the back of his head and your back arched towards him, feeling his tongue licking on your chest in a circular motion.

His eyes looked up at you, as he sucked on your breasts sloppily and kneading them with his hand, admiring his view and the feeling it came with.

You felt the tip of his nose brush up across your collarbone to return to your neck. You were getting so wet, it’s a miracle you managed to restrain yourself from taking those eager hands of his and shoving them in your shorts.

“I-I’m still mad…a-at you.” You managed to choke out, shuddering from the tingling feeling of him sucking on a sweet spot you didn’t know you had.

“I know.” He groaned.

Your hand reached down to the rock solid boner you had been grinding up against. He took a sharp hiss of breath at your touch.

He flipped you over again before you could’ve tried to slip off his pants. He guided you a little higher on the bed and then sat up to pull your shorts and your underwear down in one firm swift motion.

With his hands gently on your knees, he parted your legs. “Fuck…” He whispered.

As you lay on the bed, propped up on your elbows, you were a little embarrassed that he was seeing that part of you at first, but the way his eyes looked into yours and raked down your body made you grow a little more confident in your skin.

“Are you gonna just stare?” You nodded your head at him.

“I’m taking my time because you have no idea how often I’ve thought of doing this to you.”

“Slut.”

Mingi cracked into a grin, his tongue cheekily running across his top teeth as he shook his head and took your leg over his shoulder. He pushed your other knee further out when he started to lean down, coming closer to your dripping cunt.

Took his time, he did.

He cherished every kiss, and the way his nose slid up and down against you made your breathing shaky. Your hands fondled your own tits that were still a little damp from his licks from earlier.

When he started basically making out with your clit, your head threw back and you couldn’t hold back your breathy moans. Your hips started to rock into his tongue.

“Who’s the slut now?” You heard him coo from under you. He watched you with fox-like eyes, keeping a vigilant gaze while you stimulated yourself and something about it made it ten times hotter.

“S-still you—Ah, Mingi!” Your head dropped onto the bed.

Your clit was swollen, and his fingers invited themselves between your folds before entering. There’s no way you could’ve held in that loud moan, or mask the look of absolute pure pleasure that contorted your face.

Something about how you were unravelling at the curl of his finger inside you, with your heel dug in lot his back and the sound of you moaning his name over and over had him excited for what’s to come.

Figuratively and literally.

Mingi’s dick had never been harder.

You reached for his hand that was gripping on your thigh to keep your legs parted. Your mouth dropped open as your eyes squeezed shut to feel the electrifying sensation throughout your entire body. His fingers and the upper inner part of your thighs were coated in your release.

Holy shit, Mingi actually made you cum. And he sucked and licked every last of it as you were riding it out.

He sucked on your clit one last time, giving a quick kiss goodbye before crawling up your body to meet your face.

His hand was beside your face as he tilted his head to the side. Mingi hovered over you and though you felt a bit dizzy, you managed to mirror the grin on his face.

“Are you still mad at me?”

“Furious.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

As you sat up slowly, he started to retreat to reel you in with your faces mere inches apart. Placing a hand on his chest, you pushed him down to get onto his back.

Who knows when’s the next time you would ever to be able to do this? In the back of your head, you knew this was a heat of a moment kind of thing, eventhough it made you a little sad, you wanted to kiss him again and again.

And he was more than willing to entertain it.

You could taste yourself off his lips. The dirtiness of it all made it hotter. His nails running up and down the side of your thigh as your chest pressed against his.

You moved down, planting little kisses down his gorgeous physique, you hands gripping on his sides as he watched. His hand reached out stroking the top of your head.

This had to be a dream.

You looked up when you reached the drawstring of the shorts he had on.

“Okay, okay, just be gentle,” He asked softly. “I’m a little… uh…”

With your teeth, you undid the little bow and tug his shorts down. Rumour confirmed: he was huge. Girthy, long, with cum already dripping down its sides from tip.

You thought you were seeing things wrongly so your hand reached out to hold it by the base and stroked up.

“Needy?” You teased.

Mingi’s brain electrocuted for a second, unsure if it was the tone or your hands. He flinched, “S-shit, baby, I’m really… hold on—“

You leaned forward, wrapping your hand comfortably around the base as you started to return the treatment he just gave you — tenfold. Mingi’s flustered face transformed into a look of pure satisfaction.

The way you licked, kissed, and sucked all over his shaft, he’d float if he could. The lewd noises you were making made him hiss, bitting in his lower lip as he watched from above.

“S-shit you’re doing so good.” He managed to say, leaning over to comb back your hair in his hands as you steadied your pace.

When his tip scratched the back of your throat, he was done for. You almost ended up choking on the cum that bursted out of his wet hard cock that pooled warm in your mouth, and swallowed.

The noise he made was unlike anything you’d ever heard in your decade long friendship, and it was the best he’d ever felt out of all his past experiences.

But that wasn’t why he had to take a breather. He realised how wrong he’d been doing you. Knowing how you felt about him, and how he’s been treating you made him wonder if he even deserved to see you this way.

He moved in behind you, gently guiding your face toward his for a soft, sweet kiss that made you smile. He trailed playful kisses along the side of your face as your hand caressed his. His large hands traced lightly over your waist.

If foreplay was this good already, he could only imagine how mind boggling actually fucking you would be. But he seemed to enjoy finally being able to shamelessly kiss you and touch you wherever he wanted more though.

You, however, had a different thought. The lines of your friendship were already blurred. Being with him like this had been a fantasy, but now you were stepping into uncharted territory, where everything about your relationship with him might change — if it hadn’t already.

That’s when reality hit, your smile fading. You needed a moment to pull back.

He started slowing down when he noticed you or your body weren’t really responding to him anymore.

It hit you like a cold splash of reality—his stories of conquests, the way he casually shared tales of his past flings, and how effortlessly he moved on from each one.

“Hey, look at me. What’s wrong?”

In that moment, you realized you were just another number on his hit list, a fleeting moment in his game, and the weight of that truth settled heavily in your chest, leaving you feeling small and insignificant.

Even with his own doubts, Mingi was still ready to take things further right then and there, but seeing that look — the one you make when you have a lot on your mind — he couldn’t bring himself to continue.

His hand reached out, caressing the other side of your face, tucking your hair behind your ear in comfort, “We don’t have to, you know.”

You nodded, “I know. I’m sorry, I just… I’m thinking a lot right now.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” He smiled at you, shaking his head in reassurance before closing in to kiss the side of your head.

He shifted on the bed, pulling you into an embrace and brought you close to him under the sheets.

You’ve shared this bed several times over the years, but never this intimately, without a pillow barrier or clothes on. This easily felt very new to both of you, yet still comfortable enough.

As you cuddled facing eachother, you turned to the ceiling as your thoughts began to swirl. You had settled the argument from earlier with your bodies, but the confusion in your heart still remained.

“Are you okay?” Mingi finally asked, concern in his eyes as you took your time to answer.

“Yeah, just…” The room felt colder, smaller, and you could feel tears pricking at your eyes as you turned to look at him. “I don’t want to be like the others. I don’t want us to end up being… nothing.”

“You’re not like the others,” Mingi said softly, turning to face you, his eyes searching yours. “I’m serious. I’m sorry for the stupid things I said. You are… you’re everything to me. You’re it, and—”

You’d heard it all before. You knew his usual pretty words for his pretty girls thanks to his stories but what you didn’t know was how he actually meant what he said this time.

“Look, Mingi…I just can’t do the whole friends-with-benefits thing. I can’t just stay friends after this. I need you all in if you’re going to be in my life.” Your voice trembled, and each word felt like a struggle. This boy had a grip on your heart that made the thought of losing him hurt. “If you can’t do that, you really need to go tomorrow morning, okay?”

He took a moment to let your words sink in, the silence stretching between you. Then, quietly, he leaned in and kissed you—a soft, gentle kiss. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. The warmth of his skin soothed you in the cool air as he pressed a light kiss to your forehead.

[dailyunstableeve]

Give me one more chance

After RE 5, Jill disappeared.

Jill Valentine x fem!reader

tw: angst (idk if tissues are needed), gore, blood, sharp objects (anything that can stab you :), ptsd

an: can't get over how hot Jill is on death island, mother Jill needs more screen time, it's not enough for me 😭😭😭 did anyone just think that Jill, Claire and Rebecca are like the power puff girls? The way their outfit colours are. Idk if anyone wrote this idea before but here's mine. Ps, my first re ff

Words count : 2.2k

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It's been years since Jill returned from a mission with Chris, and just disappeared. All she did was a postcard in your mail, telling you she won't be returning, probably never. At first, you don't believe it, even on the postcard, it's her handwriting, there's no way you could have mistaken it. You put yourself in a hopeless search for two years, you have given up, knowing that, no matter how hard you tried to search for Jill, and she doesn't want to be found, she'll dodge you before you know it.

You devoted yourself to training, non stop just to keep your mind from drifting to the days where your life was so much better when you're with Jill. You are furious about the choice Jill made and that anger inside you, helped you survive all the challenges you faced alone.

Went on a couple of missions with Chris, Leon, and the others, sometimes might end up going solo but Chris was worried sick about you. You made it back alive, no matter what, it's almost as if you wanted to prove to Jill that, even though she's not here, you made it out alive just fine.

You learn to move on, thinking your life has gone back to normal, then one day, Jill is reported to the mission, together with Chris. You have no idea about the news until you were training and heard the other soldiers talking about how the mission went, about how Jill is not good with team working, afterall, she's used to surviving by herself. You left the training room immediately just to go find Chris and give a punch on his face.

“Ow, what's that for?” He complained.

“How long has it been since your last mission?” You questioned.

“What?”

“With Jill.”

The mood between you two dropped so quickly.

“How did you-”

“I was training, apparently your boys don't know how to keep their mouths shut,” you cut him off, “if I recall correctly, your mission was two days ago.”

“I just reported in-”

“I thought you were my friend, Chris!” You raised your voice.

“I was just respecting Jill, she asked me to not tell you about it,” Chris answered.

You took a second to process the information, you loosened up your expression, and looked at Chris.

“Oh god, I'm sorry,” you apologised, “I don't mean to just yell at you like that.”

“It's fine, Y/N,” Chris comforted you, “there's something you have to worry about, your next mission.”

“You worried about all the missions I went to, it's not special,” you scoffed.

“I did everything in my power to prevent this but, the high up have given out a mission that needed you and Jill to proceed out the mission.”

“What did she say?” You asked.

“The same thing.”

Sometimes, you just wanted to say how brainless the high ups are always putting their soldiers on a mission that's just torturing. At least, you won't be torture by the infected but your time with Jill.

“I'll do it, it's just like any other mission,” you said confidently.

It's not like any other mission at all.

Jill is currently sitting on the opposite side of you, getting ready. It's weird, she still looks the same as the day she left for the mission with Chris, except, the softness you used to see in her, it's not there anymore, probably because you don't feel the same way as you did before.

“Let's run down our mission one more time, shall we?” you looked at Jill, even if you don't wish to be here with her, but you still need to get your mission done.

“Yeah, sure,” she answered quickly, fully facing towards you.

“Our target is to investigate the area out, there's been multiple reports about the infecteds roaming around the area and our job is to clean it up and look for any clues that could lead to why are the infected there, it's simple, except our lives are in stake, so no reckless move, we stay together, look out of each other's six, anything that seems abnormal, report immediately, don't investigate alone.”

“Got it.”

“Good,” you nodded, then went to check up on the pilot, “we're here.”

The cold chill air brushes through your hair the moment you get off the jet, it's felt like you just walked into a horror movie except your every mission is a horror movie.

It's an abandoned facility, it's always it, because the facility has most of the science stuff to help you create a new virus.

The whole time, both of you didn't say a word because even if it's been years since both of you had a mission together, you still remember her movement, it's more that your action will follow up automatically. Everything goes smoothly, a few infections appear when you and Jill are making your way to the control room, then the experiment room, the storage, just everywhere of the facility.

“There must've been a secret room somewhere, it's impossible for the infected to keep appearing outside the area and yet we only encounter a small amount in here,” you mumbled, you don't like it, just like every other mission you’ve done.

Sometimes when it's too quiet is a bad sign too.

“We should try to split,” Jill suggested.

“Did you forget what I said just now? We stay together,” you scoffed.

“But we are not getting anywhere if we keep sticking together.”

“And I'm not allowing you to risk your life like this,” you looked Jill in the eye, she flinched a little.

Call it selfish, but I don't want to lose Jill again.

But the look on Jill's face shows that she'll stand by her idea of splitting up, it could cover more ground, but it will put the risk on high.

“Fine, we will meet back up at the spot we arrived here,” you sighed.

You watch Jill turn her back at you and walk the other direction, it gives you the feeling of how you found out that Jill had left you with just a postcard that doesn't even have a goodbye on it.

You knock yourself out of the thought and continue walking down the hallway, hoping you're able to discover something that you didn't notice just now.

You didn't find anything but Jill did, so you were on your way to find Jill. Apparently she found a hidden tunnel that's blocked by multiple tables, without letting you know, she went down the tunnel herself. You arrived in front of the tunnel only to find yourself getting crowded by the infecteds, they are getting closer to you, some are even climbing out from the tunnel. If the infected are coming from the tunnel then where's Jill?

Please wait for me Jill. You prayed as you fought your way through the infected.

Just like every times, you thought about Jill when you face upon a challenge that you believe you won't be able to get through it, you remember the rage you felt for her when she left you, and you remember the worries you have on her right now that she could be hurt and you must find her quick.

You saw your opening to slide in the tunnel and went for it. At the end of the tunnel is a hallway, dirty, but the electricity is still working, it doesn't look abandoned, it's just no one cleaning it.

“Jill?” You called, nothing responded but a few infected appeared in your sight. You clear out the infected, and manage to find Jill of all the madness you have to kill just to get to her.

Suddenly, the area's light went off, leaving a guide light on to show where you're supposed to go. You have no other option but to follow, it guides you to a huge room, where Jill is currently fighting her life on the infected that's three times the size of a normal one and Jill is badly wounded. You hold up your pistol and start shooting at it, just to find yourself stupid because normal bullets are not going to kill the monster.

You charged onwards, grabbed a long stick that's in your reach and made a jump onto its head, “no one hurt Jill,” you fired seven shots on its head, went right down for the brain. You've killed it, you did, the monster loses its balance and drops down on the ground, so did you, except Jill caught you only to lose her balance to standing after.

“Jill?” You panicked, and you noticed the huge part of her clothing was painted red, fresh red, “oh my god, Jill!” You put pressure on her wound, “how long have you been bleeding?”

“Before you arrived,” she coughed, you quickly took out the bandages you have with you 24/7 and tried to patch her up, “the one who's in charge of here is chained up in the locker room.”

“I'll send someone to get that person!” I called comms and Chris picked up, “send backups, right now!” You cried.

“Y/N,” Jill rested her hand on yours trying to stop the bleeding, “I'm sorry for everything I've done to you.”

“Shut up Jill, you better stay with me and tell me that when you fully recover!” You cut her off, “I didn't get you back just to lose you!”

“Jill?”

“Jill!”

“Hey hey hey, don't close your eyes now!”

“Goddammit, Chris, be quick please.”

“Jill! Don't die on me right now!”

Until Chris and the backups arrived, it was nothing but your cries for Jill to stay awake, because you don't want to lose her again. You watch Jill getting sent back first as you and Chris stayed behind to clean up the mess, Chris did recommend you to head back with Jill but you know she wants you to finish up the mission, so you did.

You took a proper shower, washing off the rotten smell of the infected is hard, after all, you went on a killing spree on any infected you saw, that's who you have grown to. Kill to serve but only when it's about the infected.

Jill went unconscious for a week, and you stayed by her side the whole time. You want the first one she sees when she wakes up is you, you are but Chris is the first she talked to.

“Has she been here the whole time?” Jill asked.

“Yes, she wants that she's the first one you see when you wake up,” Chris gently placed a big blanket on you.

“How can she be so forgiven? After all these years,” Jill looked at you who's currently sleeping on the side of the bed.

“She still loves you Jill, she never forget the day you left her, she used that to pull herself through everyday, no matter how worse the day is,” Chris left out a breath, “and I want you to know that, it's not your fault that you were controlled by Wesker and what you did after.”

“Chris, don't,” Jill stopped Chris, she doesn't want to talk about it yet.

“I'll just leave you with her then.”

“Is he gone?” You mumbled, you were awake, you didn't get up because you felt like Chris and Jill deserve some time to talk things out, “I didn't want to interrupt.”

“How are you feeling?” You asked.

“I'm fine,” Jill answered, “are you okay?”

“Yeah,” physically, you are, mentally, you are not.

There's so many questions you wanted to ask, but you don't know where to start.

“I'm sure you heard from Chris about the mission where things went bad for me,” Jill could see the question on your face, that's how much she knows you, “I didn't mean to hurt you.”

“But you did, you hurted me the moment you write on the postcard and leave it in my mails.”

“Look Y/N, I know what you heard from Chris and I know you would think exactly how Chris would too, that it wasn't my fault but I hate that I blame myself for that.” Jill tried to explain herself, “I didn't have the courage to come back to visit you.”

“So why did you come back Jill? After all these years, because you being gone from my life all these years made me think that you have found a much better life that I wasn't included in! So why did you come back now, out of all the years you could’ve?” Tears start rolling down your cheek.

You may have told yourself that you have moved on from the fact that Jill just abandoned you, you found a way to live through it but now she's in front of you. The memories you made with her flooded your mind. It made you want to yell at her, cry, scream at her, for leaving you here, when you needed her and she needed you.

“I realise that I can't hide from it forever, that I've left my girl here without a complete answer,” she gently wiped the tears off your cheek, “I'm so sorry for what I've done to you, I know that I'm not worth to be forgiven by you but please let me made it up to you, all those years that I've been gone, please give me a one more chance Y/N,” both of yours eyes meet, you can't tell how much you misses the way Jill looked at you, that's filled with love, and now it's mixture with asking for forgiveness.

“Yes,” you gently hugged Jill, doesn't want to suddenly rip her wound.

“I promise.”

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⭒─⭑─⭒──⭒─⭑─⭒──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

an: death island has done something to me. Well, it's not really all full romance, it brings up the past and I just started it with hoping to write something that's close to call redemption for Jill. Even if she's hard on herself during the movie about what happened at re5😭 I wanna let my girl have some rest

Masterlist

[sol-consort]

So I can't lie, I've only just started following you (love your works, love seeing you experience cyberpunk it's so fun <3) but I have thoughts about Kaidan and River and I want to speak them

A lot of ppl point to River and Kaidan and go, "wow, what a boring romance," and sometimes, I agree, but... I also think that's the point!! Shepard and V are both strong, badass, carrying the weight of the world (or galaxy) on their shoulders! And yes, perhaps they want someone who will be as wild and badass and crazy as they are but also. It isn't hard to imagine someone like that wanting something soft. Wanting that simple, "boring" love that perhaps doesn't involve blowing up a factory for a change. And idk i just really wanted someone to see this and I thought you might like the thought process.

anyways, I love reading your stuff and hope you're doing well <3

But River and Kaiden aren't comparable at all?

Kaidan was infamous for being the vanilla boring choice because he was one of the only two human male romance options in a world filled with colourful aliens. The best of the best allowed a spot atop the Normandy.

While River is an average human character in a cast of other average human characters.

Of course he is boring, all of them are boring! It's a given, so no one ever complained about it because he is just as interesting as other romance options.

(If anything, his mission actually affected (horrified) me the most. And the only one to top it was Evelyn's, which I'm not counting as Judy's mission. No, Judy's mission is liberating Clouds for me.)

Comparing River's date to the others... like nothing is special about any of them. All your run of the mill Night City dates.

Judy takes you swimming, Panam has more family drama, and River takes you to meet his family on better terms this time around. It was actually rather sweet.

When has anyone ever said River was the boring option like Kaidan's case? I've heard a lot of complaints and words thrown his way, sure, but boring was never one of them.

Kaidan had it bad, man, and this is coming from a die-hard Kaidan fan. But this vanilla cake had strawberries, aka men stuttering, so I devoured it all the same.

What people have criticised River's romance for is how rushed it is, how forced fem V is into it. Not how vanilla he is (which he isn't have you seen that freaky sex scene he pressed a naked V against a fully visible-from-outside window for all to see.)

And having just played it myself, yeah, that's true.

It's the lack of choice that's the issue, not the content itself.

If you pick fem V, then you're forced to have an ex-boyfriend when talking to him.

It's the awkwardness of someone confessing their feelings on the dinner table with their family present. Where are we? At a high school lunch table?

This mission would've been better received if only there was a build-up to it, a prequel mission where you get to opt in or out of River's feelings.

It's also the lack of a choice to say "I don't like men" when rejecting him. V just has to come with a lame excuse that rightfully confuses River, who in turn becomes pushy thinking this is just V being self-deprecating or testing the authenticity of his feelings.

One of his lines after you reject him is literally "But I like you..." and V automatically replies with "I like you, too" without input like ????? Queen of mixed signals ig. Then poor River is just as confused and replies with "I don't understand..."

And my perspective is a biased one IN RIVER'S FAVOUR!

I did romance him, I'm clearly into him and his whole shtick. The choices that were forced onto V are choices that coincidentally alligned with what I would've picked. As far as I'm concerned, everything is peachy, and I love River's intensity.

Yet I still caught on to the lack of choice and V's mixed signals. So imagine how unbearable it must have been for a fem V player who didn't come into this with romance in mind.

I know well enough not to confuse my personal preference for characters like him with what's right and wrong in character design. The reality is, River's romance made a lot of people uncomfortable, and on many accounts his feelings come off as rushed or surface level because the player never gets the chance to connect with him on a deeper level, neither could we confide in him about Johnny like we did Judy—not until the very end of his romance, literally seconds before becoming an official couple.

And that's not River's fault. He's more complex than Kaidan. I'll give you that.

But there are many things left unaddressed, missed opportunities, and bad timings.

For example, take how he mentions that he shot the last woman he dated because they ended up on the opposite sides of the law.

I read that line and got immediately hooked!

The potential it had to create conflict between dutiful cop River and thief mercenary V. The romance drama! Two opposites yet hearts so alike! Can their feelings survive this strife?

I thought it was strange when V didn't acknowledge the resemblance in their current predicament after he said that line. But I still had hope. Maybe V is trying not to kill the mood, okay, fine.

I go through his the rest of the mission, anticipating this conflict to pop out from behind any corner. I was so looking forward to the eventual confrontation, the inevitable conflict between River's morals and his hearts' desires!

And!!! Drumroll..... we get.....

Nothing.

River's romance is not vanilla, at least Vanilla has a flavour. His romance is a whole nothing burger!

And V is to blame for a huge portion of why River and the player never click.

He is an outsider looking in; V never gives us the prompt to open the door for him and have a heart to heart. EVEN when he himself bears the most fragile parts of his heart to us on that patio and recounts the murder of his parents. We don't get the chance to at least reply with grace.

Later on in the morning, after sleeping together, he implies that he shared that piece of his past to try and encourage V to open up about this thing he's sure you're hiding.

From River's perspective, everything is going swimmingly. He did all the right steps and gave plenty of room for V to interject and share their sorrows. Many chances for us to entrust in him, but V never took any of them.

It's V who was never given the choice to do either by the devs. You could tell him about Silverhand after sleeping together in an awkward, equally rushed morning talk. And it doesn't feel that touching of an intimate milestone of trust since it only happens at the very, very end of your blossoming romance. Which makes you wonder what the romance was even built upon.

We CAN'T set boundaries with River. We have no say in the matter. And then we act surprised when he crosses them as he took the player's lack of interjection as V's willingness to reciprocate his feelings.

The man isn't a mind reader, cut him some slack. As much as his feelings come out of nowhere from the perspective of the player, it must've been equally jarring for him to have fem V be so open to his flirting only to be met with rejection at the last step when the player is finally given the wheel.

Kaidan was called boring because of his lackluster dialogue and awkward delivery (which I loved bc I'm a deviant ig) He constantly talked in circles, danced around each subject and his own feelings, never gave an outright confession and was reluctant at times.

This line of his especially stuck to me the most.:

So, in comparison to River's beautiful heartfelt lines, daring yet romantic inputs, and being open and direct about wanting you, they're not alike at all. Even their sexualities, Kaidan is bi.

The only thing they have in common is being looked down upon by the fandom.

V: Just don't fall in love with me.

River: Too late, V.

RIver: Too late.

He said it while smiling the most melancholic yet serene smile.

We just gave him a soft rejection, and he hands us his heart on a silver platter in return, fully accepting the possibility that we might break it. But happy to have even gotten the privilege to love us at all.

River embraces his feelings, views love as a beautiful thing, this strong unbreakable bond. A gift with no expectations. He defies the stereotype of emotionally constipated straight dude who's constantly hiding under layers of irony or several feet deep down in denial. Who's as emotionally intelligent as a potato.

Even the infamous icky scene of "who thinks V and River make a good couple" wasn't something out of his own doing! He didn't encourage them. He didn't want his sister to put you on the spot like that. He was taking things slow, and suddenly, both of you were thrust in the middle of a confession and conversation about marriage by his family.

River was quick to get up and fish you out of the situation afterwards, clever and witty as he realised your discomfort and wanted to give you space.

Yet he still owned up to his feelings, faced this unexpected turn of events with grace, and attempted to make the best of a bad, awkward situation.

The jig is up. He might as well do a proper confession even if it's rushed. It wasn't what he planned, but it's what outside circumstances drove him to.

So because of context and bad timing, his confession atop the water tower falls flat on its face. Instead of his sincere lines having that authentic feeling, they feel extremely self-centered.

You ever spoke to a straight dude on a date and noticed how he only ever seems to talk about himself? Never ask how you are after you ask him. Never return the compliment. hogging and hijacking the conversation at every turn, then have the gall to claim that you're a good listener. Saying he must be falling for you when you haven't shared a single fact about yourself or interests so far.

THIS is how River's romance unintentionally feels at times.

It's not how he is on paper, not how his character operates on principles, and most likely not how the writers wanted him to be.

But it is how he looks like to half the playerbase, if not more.

It would've been easily remedied if only we got the option to tell him to fuck off early on, AND the option to entrust and confide in him in return.

Instead, we get FUCK ALL!

Nothing ever comes out of all of this exposition. Oh my god. It was like watching a movie where the director and genre switch every 5 minutes as the player and V contradict each other every other sentence. As draining as swimming against the current.

Creating an experience where the only way to have a smooth sailing River romance is to be 110% into him, only then do the player's choices and V's automated responses allign.

And all of this is coming from a River fan. I MAY poke fun at him in tags from time to time, but that's just my way of showing love.

Realistically, if I didn't like River and found him uncomfortable and boring, then why the hell would I waste time to go through his romance??

I never romanced Garrus (only flirted then broke up for Thane, didnt even bother seeing the sex scene before breaking up) because I found him boring despite the whole fanbase chasing after his turian lack of ass. While the boring Kaidan stole my heart.

Between you and me, I really want to reload a savefile and lock into a relationship with River. Especially since having multiple romances in Cyberpunk has no real consequences and no one ever confronts V for cheating, unlike other games.

That reload game button is calling to me like the green goblin mask ngl, so why the resistance?

Because I'm trying to build a narrative that differentiates V from Johnny by giving V opposing core traits. Never smoking, for example.

Not out of some moral obligation against infidelity in a videogame where you literally murder people—why even draw that line at all?—but for role-playing reasons.

If Johnny was fully loyal to either Rogue or Alt, then I would've made V a whole serial cheater. I just want opposing traits to have interesting symbolism, that's all.

In a second playthrough however, I'm fully coming for River's juicy ass.

AND I'M KEEPING THE "fuck the police" SHIRT AND WEARING IT EVERWHERE. Because I do love River, and I headcanon that this V is also deeply in love with him but by moral obligations can't let her heart stray since she wants to be serious about Judy.

If anything, it's Liara who River reminds me of.

Another character who gets attached way too quickly. Her yearning rivals River's, ever so devoted and in love with the player, wanting something real and deep, not a passing fling.

River is the right guy wrong time. Another character done dirty by greedy shareholders who kept rushing the writers for a game so they had to cut corners, and an impatient fanbase who just wanted to hype up the Next Big Thing release date without a care to its current state.

We kept opening the oven door every 5 minutes, then acted offended when the cake came out deflated and half-baked.

Lastly, thank you for the opportunity to talk about this! Even if you don't agree with a single word I said so far, I'm just glad we get to dissect characters like that, it's very fun. And thank you for your sweet words, I'm happy you like my stories!

Bonus points for anyone who can count how many river/water puns I snuck in this character analysis post.

[jung-koook]

i saw this ask and i’ve always loved your sets + since i joined the fandom way back in 2015, your blog and gifs have always been my most favorite. i just want to drop by & tell you that for 7 years, i’ve been supporting and i will continue until the day you post your last gif set. you work so hard to share with us these amazing gifs of tannies and sometimes (and i’m guilty of this too), we focus more on tannies that we forget to say a simple thank you to the creators for the gifs they spent hours making — and for free, at that! so, yes, idk where i’m going with this except for the fact that i want you to know that i appreciate you, you’re my favorite gif creator, and i am extremely grateful for your existence as a human being and as a member of this fandom.

oh my gosh, i'm going to cry 🥺 I'm in the mood to print your message and keep it forever with me laskask ♡ from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for everything you said here. what you said is so true! many people think that making gifs is something easy and fast but its not even close. for example for my jeongguks birthday set, I always start from the beginning of august to start ~designing~ my set. I have to organize all the moments I want, I have to make sure that I dont forget any important moments for me, I have to make a lot of gifs (this year I think I'm going to make 36 gifs), I have to put all these gifs together later, I have to make a colouring that matches all the scenes on this set (scenes with different filters, lighting and etc). I also use topaz denoise and clean which makes this whole process take even longer ;; but I just love this hobby of making gifs. I think with most content creators here, making gifs and edits is so relaxing and comforting. tumblr is really dead but still i feel like i dont have as much right to complain about the lack of support going on here. because even though the number of support I receive here has greatly decreased, I still receive a lot of support. I try to help but even so its impossible not to be sad seeing so much creative content not getting the support they deserve. but seeing you see this is something that makes me emotional. so really, thank you so much! thank you so much for all your sweet and precious words! it really means a lot ♡ im extremely grateful for your existence as a human being and as a member of this fandom 🥺 sometimes i wonder when will be my last day here laskaks 😭

[dadoroki]

You Are My Soulmate

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Warning: Fluff, food fight, frenemies to lovers idk

Summary: Imagine being stuck by a single thread connecting you to an angry gremlin. Despite your “hatred” for one another, you both agreed to destroy the one thing connecting you two together.

Heavily inspired by a Bts Friends anamatic!

You, Izuku, and Katsuki used to be the best of childhood friends. Just the three of you playing outside the park after school. However, when you got too close to Izuku, young Katsuki would always feel the pang of jealousy, dragging you by the hand to another area of the park.

“C’mon (y/n), you don’t wanna be with that quirkless loser!”

You knew the two boys had a weird friendship but brushed it off. You turned and motioned a sad Izuku to follow, the frown quickly turning into a smile as he ran to catch up with the two of you.

Middle school was where it all started to change. Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship began to spiral into something more toxic. At this age, you were capable of seeing the wrongs of Katsuki, voicing your opinions to him only to be ignored. As the people around you started developing and strengthening their quirks, it was then people started comparing eachother to see which were more powerful. Katsuki wanted to be the best. To be better than everyone else. To become the number 1 hero.

“I dunno, dude. Bakugou’s explosions are strong but have you seen (y/n)’s telekinesis?”

When he heard others comparing your quirk to his, arguing who was stronger, that’s when it all changed. His care towards you turned into anger, turned to jealousy, turned to hatred. He didn’t see you as the girl he had a slight crush on. No. To him, you were now competition. An obstacle that was in his way. He started to ignore your calls and spent less time with you. You were a bit hurt but knew it was the best for you, sticking by the green-haired teen. After middle school, the three of you applied and got accepted to UA.

“Oi, magician! You’re in my damn line of sight! Do a magic trick and move!”

Through the busy caf, you turn to see the angry blonde glaring at you with an embarrassed Kirishima giving you an apologetic look. You fully faced him with a hand on your hip. “Then close your frickin’ eyes. Nobody wants to see creepy eyes staring at them. Especially not yours.” That made the man turn red with full anger.

“HUH, WHAT DID YOU SAY?! I CAN KILL YOU ON THE SPOT RIGHT NOW!”

You turned around ignoring the angry calls followed by Kirishima and his friends attempting to calm him down. “You might just end up killing yourself by a heart attack, don’t cha’ think?” That only fuelled the man even more. “I don’t even know how you got accepted! You’re useless just like your quirk! Just like that quirkless Deku”, he shouts as he tries to instigate the situation, to which he succeeds. You whirled your head around, hair flowing as it follows your head movement. You raised your hand, Bakugou’s lunch raising up with it. Full force, you pushed forwards and the food makes a strong impact towards his face. Gasps were heard and it was the one time you heard silence from the gremlin. “Hm, that’s interesting. Did you just get a haircut?”

The man slammed his fist on the table, furiously wiping away the dripping food off his face. “SO THAT’S HOW YOU WANNA PLAY?! WELL I HAVE ALL DAY, IDIOT!” He exploded whatever food was left on the table, quickly swipping it all towards you. Chaos began as others joined in too. You and Bakugou exchanged food blows, both full of dirty clothes.

Bakugou had enough, aiming his explosive hand towards you before the both of you were being dragged by a cloth-like equipment. You were both faced by an angry Mr. Aizawa. You chuckled nervously. “Oh, hey sir. Um..a food fight only consist of food and...” You motioned towards the material only earning a harder stare. “Both of you to the principal’s office. Now!” Bakugou scoffed as he pushed off the tangled cloth.

“Next time, work on your aim, you freak. You hit purple balls majority of the time.” Bakugou said as he rolled his eyes and headed towards the office. You caught up beside him with a smirk.

“No, that was intentional.”

It’s been a week since the food fight. That day, Bakugou only had 3 days of punishment while you had 4. The morning sun flashed through the crack of your dorm room curtain, waking you up. You sighed and got off your bed, heading towards the kitchen. Laying on the counter was a single bag of cinnamon twists. You reached to grab it, only for the other side to be matched with a tug.

“Oi, you freak! Let go, it’s mine!”

You furrowed your eyebrows, pulling on your side of the bag. “Don’t care. I saw it first.” You saw the famous colour of red flush his face and swore you saw smoke coming out of his ears. “ARE YOU STUPID?! I SAW IT FIRST!” After multiple tugs and pulls, the bag broke with all the cinnamon twists falling to the ground, the both of you being left with the small corners of the bag. You both stared at the ground in disbelief. Pointing at eachother ready to cast the blame on one another, you noticed a red string wrapped around the tips of both your fingers, connecting you two. Bakugou’s eyes darted the thin string.

“Hey, what the hell? Get off of me!”

“Get off of you?! Why don’t you get off of me?!”

Just like the bag of cinnamon twists, you both turned your full attention on the red string, playing a violent game of tug-of-war. The harder you both tried, the tired you both grew. This was never gonna get off of you, would it?

Nope.

Weeks went on and you stood in front of the planning board in your room. Your eyes glanced around the planner, the bolded title: The Red String with a violently scribbled subtitle in red underneath reading: Plan: DESTROY IT! You and Bakugou tried everything. From burning it with Todoroki’s flames to freezing it with his ice. From Bakugou’s explosions to Kaminari’s electricity and til’ this day, Bakugou still calls you stupid for that. But hey, you were desperate to try anything and Kaminari’s yay mode was worth it.

You stared at the calm blonde laying on your bed, uninterested in what you were doing and creating knots with the string. You thoughts were interrupted buy an annoyed sigh. “Hey, idiot. Are you done with that? I wanna get to sleep.” You switched off the lights and then realized, “Wait, that’s my bed. Get off my bed.” You tried nudging his back with your foot, only earning a snore in return. Sighing you dropped yourself to the ground, stealing your blanket off of Bakugou and laying it on top of you. Your body fidgeted due to the uncomfortable sting the ground was giving your back.

“Oi! quit it. I’m trying to sleep.”

You scoffed and wiggled your attached finger more to irrate him. “Yeah, I’m trying too.” He peeked down at you and signaled for you to get up. You did in confusion before watching him roughly tug the string and making you fall on top of him. He pushed you off and beside him, gripping your waist and resting his head behind your neck. You were quiet, unable to move and unable to process what had happened. He lifted his head up a bit.

“Shut up, idiot. It’s the only way we both can sleep comfortably.” However, you both woke up that very morning with the strings tangling you up against eachother.

It was the normal routine. Finding a way to get this stupid thread off of you both. Everyone around you found it amusing how hard you both tried. Two hotheads in a pot. As the days went by, instead of finding a solution, you both took advantage of it, seeing who could annoy the other more.

He had complained that it was too cold in the dorm foyer. Being the nice person you were, you had helped by turning the fan on. That only made it worse as the string got stuck in the blades, both of you being dragged and yelling at eachother to “turn it off!” and him calling you an idiot. One day, Bakugou had pulled the string, forcing you both to embrace eachother. He told you that he really liked you being around him. You thought it was a nice gesture at first until others pointed out a sticky note on your back reading, “I’m a loser”.

After another round of your long and intense game of tug-of-war, you both fell to the ground with exhaustion. “We’re never gonna get this off, are we?” Bakugou stayed silent before asking you.

“Hey, magic hands... I was wondering”, he scratched the back of his head before continuing, “Do you wanna, I don’t know? Pick flowers or make fun of people?”

You stared at the man dumbfounded and squinted at him. “Whut?”

His eyes widened and he looked away with a scoff. “Don’t look at me with that stupid expression! Just, nevermind. Pretened I didn’t say anything, ok?”

You tried your best to put the puzzle together and after a while, you did. “Huhhh, is Katsuki Bakugou asking me on a date?” You smirked as you leaned on his muscular arm. He quickly brushed his arm away from you. “Pfft, in your dreams, nerd.” You pretended to sigh pressing your chin to your collarbone. “What a shame, I actually started to like you...”, you trailed watching him turn his head to you.

“Fine, but I’m only doing this because I can’t stand your annoying whines so be grateful.”

Typical stubborn Katsuki.

You rested your head back on his arm, only this time he never pushed you off.

“You know I hate you, right?”

The longer you both spent with eachother, the more your affection for one another grew. Who knew that a simple kiss could release the knot on your fingers but that didn’t stop the both of you from spending time together. You had later learned that the whole class 1A had made a bet on the two of you, Momo using her quirk to create an inseparable thread that’s grip could only be released when the affection between the two grew.

And it sure did.

[seventhroses]

☁️ Dreams

👩🏻 A/N: It's here! This is my first story! I just wrote it as I needed an outlet to get my mind off reality. Probably gonna write again? Idk 🤔Anyway I'm excited to share this! Not sure if it’s good BUT I hope anyone that gives it a go would enjoys it! 🥰

🌠 Geners: Fantasy, fluff, slight smut

📃 Word count: 4.9K

Since young, you always have a thing for dreams. You were told many stories of different people's dreams and you've always finds it fascinating on what goes on in there when your body shuts to recharged.

There was one in particular that had it imprinted in you till now. It was your grandparent's dreams. You can't believe that they actually met in their dreams and how their love unfolds into reality.

How can anyone dreamed of someone else when they've never cross path or see each other before? You always questioned.

You could never figure out no matter how many times they tell you their tales. But even so, it was the sweetest love story that you've heard and of course, seeing it through parts of their times, you were partially convinced that maybe dreams do come true.

As you get older, instead of popping colours of life, nightmares get the best of you. You eventually start sleeping lesser and lesser hours. Dreams were no longer the happy fluffy thing you did look forward to every night.

Today was the worst. It was one of those days, where you felt like everything was collapsing on you. This week have been so exhausting and you probably had less than 10hours of sleep in total. Having to deal with your sickening boss that always throws you with piles of urgent paper work that you end up OT till 1-2AM to finish, colleagues that act as if they're the only one that have a life outside of work and dumped their unfinished work on you.

Just when you thought things couldn't get any worst, you sprained your ankle while chasing for your last bus home tonight.

"How great.." you sighed while limping up the bus with your now sore ankle.

"Well at least, I managed to catch the bus…" Trying hard to comfort your miserable self as you found a seat and sat down. 

You finally reached home after what seems like forever. Throwing your heels aside, you limped towards the kitchen to get some ice for your swollen ankle. Walking to the living room you plopped yourself onto the sofa, turning the TV on that you have no plans on watching. You find yourself staring into the ceiling, can't help but to question about your life.

Even though you're tired as hell, you can feel yourself fighting that tiredness, refusing to let another nightmare invade you tonight. But as the clock ticks away by the minutes, you know your fight is futile.

"If only.. I just wish for one good dream.. Just one, to end this miserable week" with that, you find your heavy lids closed as you fell asleep.

The next thing you know, upon opening your eye you saw the ray of morning sun shining into your room.

Checking the time on the clock, 

"It's 11AM?!" Now, widely awake. "Did I just sleep through the night?"

Not remembering when's the last time you slept through the night without waking up with cold sweat or hyperventilating from the nightmare you had. Though, you weren't complaining. You were in fact longing for a good sleep like this.

You got out of your bed, slipping into your bunny slippers, ready to kicked start your day. You just felt really good and recharged from the long sleep. After washing up and making yourself a cup of coffee, you walk to the sofa and sat down, finding a comfortable position to plan how you should go about your day before having your best friend over tonight for dinner and movie.

While you were making plans, a suddenly feeling strikes you. Something doesn't add up, but you can't seem to put it into words.

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It's 1PM. You're dressed in your ripped jeans and cute smiley sweater ready for some shopping therapy and groceries shopping for tonight's dinner. You grabbed a pair of your most comfortable heels and skipped out of your apartment. You were in a good mood, stress free and you know that's not normal but again you're not complaining. You're going to enjoy it while it last and so you thought.

As you were going down the long flight of stairs towards the bus stop, you were impressed at how you managed to go up these 'stairs of hell' with your swollen ankle last night. That's when you realised, they aren't painful anymore. You were pretty sure it was swollen before you fell asleep but they seem perfectly fine now. You also remember falling asleep on the sofa and not in the room.

So, how did I get to the room? When did I changed into the pj? Now, lots of thoughts are flying in and you couldn't much process or find an answer to them.  Are you that tired that you can't remember what you did?

 "Be careful!!" A loud voice snapped you back into reality and you can feel a strong hand holding on to your arm.

Facing the stairs down, you're pretty sure that you will get more than just swollen ankle if it's not for this person. You turned your head around wanting to thank your saviour but came to face with a white tee and strong veiny arms that is holding on to you. You tilted your head up trying to see who's this perfect fitting body belongs to and there, you saw a pair of small worrisome eyes looking at you.

 "Are you ok? Hurt anywhere?"  he asked worriedly.

At that moment, you couldn't seem to find a word as you were too focus on looking at this charming looking gentleman in front of you.

Let's be honest, ever since you start adulting, life has been a struggle of paying off bills and dealing with your work life. You hardly even have time for yourself, so let alone finding yourself a partner to add on the struggle with.

The only male presence in your life other than your dad, is your childhood best friend, Lee Minhyuk. Well, he's called your best friend for a reason. You have been in each other's life for more than a decade and you know each other all too well. Also, knowing that there will probably be no peaceful day ahead if you guys were to even try. You and Minhyuk can't even decide on a movie together for movie night without bricking for at least 30 minutes and ended up having to tossed a coin to decide. Which, you think it's probably going to happen tonight too. So, it has never really cross both of your mind about developing your relationship into anything else more than what you guys are.

You did met a few people, go for a few dates before but that was in collage when you had the privileged of time. All that just seems so long ago.

Right now, having come face to face with this charming guy, it is sure to activate your needs for a new male presence in your life. Not to mention, this gentlemen in front of you, his visual is… let's just say, he's totally your type. With your 'love struck' expression which you probably are showing now, he figured that you should be ok.

"Hi, I'm Hyunwoo." Waiting for your answer while holding on to you as you steady your feet. 

You noticed his expression changed to a shy and smiley eye, that would totally make anyone soft.

 "Hi" … "I'm y/n." Quite sure you sounded like a robot.

A red one to be exact because you can feel yourself blushing hard and the distant between the both of you and his perfume smell is not helping at all. You can hear him chuckled. His hand is still on your arms. His warm palm on your skin certainly have you feeling the butterfly flying wildly in your stomach.

 "Are you free for a coffee?" You blurted out of nowhere and a sudden realisation that you're thinking out loud, got you in panicked mode.

 "I mean… I mean you just saved me from the probability of cracking my head like an egg... so.. " pausing and cursing yourself for the lame joke. Now, you just want to dig a hole and hid.

He laughed. "I like that" not sure if he said that out of courtesy, just so your now red af face wouldn't burst. 

"and sure. I would love for a coffee with you, Y/n. "

You liked the way he calls your name. Like you never knew it could sound so sweet.

 After the awkward invitation, Hyunwoo slide his hand down from your arm. Holding on to your hand now, he casually walks down the stairs. Going one step ahead of you as he leads you down. He turned his head to looked at you and smiled,

"Now, you don't need to worry about getting your head cracked."

You're very sure at that moment, your face was in tomato red as Hyunwoo holds your hand and walk towards the nearby café.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do you stay around here?" You asked as the both of you set down on the sofa seating in the café.

"Yes, I just moved here recently and was exploring the neighbourhood. You stay around the area?"

"Yup. Not far from the 'stairs of hell'." Almost rolling your eye.

Hyunwoo let out an airy laughed "I totally know what you mean."

Taking the first sipped of his drink, he started making some sound. "Mmmm! Mmm! This is so good!"

His reaction makes you adore him. How can someone be so charming, gentle and cute all at the same time.

"Oh, what did you ordered?" you asked out of curiosity.

"Honey grapefruit tea! It's on the drink's special menu. It's so refreshing!" You smiled at him as he sounded so proud of his order.

"Do you stay alone?"

 That question was definitely out of nowhere.

 There was a short pause as you were a little startled by the intruding question. Hyunwoo probably felt that he might have make you uncomfortable, so he explained.

"Oh, don't get me wrong. Since I moved here alone, I just thought it would be nice to know people in my neighbourhood. But its ok! You don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable. I'm sorry for the sudden question." Looking apologetic and not sure if he sounded weird.

But somehow his explanation makes you feel comfortable enough to tell him, so you looked at him,

"It's ok, dont be sorry. And yes, I kind of stays alone. But I have this best friend of mine, that would come crushing every so often to check if im still alive. So i'm not sure if that counts." Again, cursing yourself for the lame joke but it's kind of true too.

Well, atleast your reply showed Hyunwoo some relieved as you can see the smile back on his face.  

"It would be nice if we could have…"

 Before you manage to hear finished his sentence, the whole place start to shake violently. You could hear someone calling your name very loudly, somewhere but you couldn't find the source. Scared as hell, you closed your eyes shut.

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 When you opened your eye, you were in a dazed. Minhyuk is now on the sofa beside you and shaking you violently. You frowned, now back to your sense. You were quite sure if he were to continue shaking, you would have thrown up on him that instant.

 "Babe! Back on earth?! You scare the hell out of me!" "What happen to you?!" "I came into the apartment and the first thing I saw is your dead body on the sofa!" "I mean lifeless. I mean.." As Minhyuk went on with his chains of words, you rolled your eyes at him. You can totally see that small smirked on his face.

 You had given Minhyuk the password to your apartment on day one when you move in, as he was whining non-stop about it until you gave him the digits. Since the both of you are having movie night every other Saturday, so you though it did be more convenient to do so too. But Minhyuk always says, it's for your safety so he can come by to check on you and see if you're still alive and kicking. You just want to rolled your eye, knowing all too well it's for his own convenience, as he always comes over for free meals, if not when he wants to escape from his mom's nagging. But even so, you never really mind it because he would keep you accompany whenever nightmares start taunting you.

 "What time is it now?" you asked.

 "It's almost 7PM, y/n! And you are supposed to start cooking dinner at 6:30PM!" He shouted across the kitchen while getting you a glass of water.

 You took the glass from him while trying to figure out what just happened.

 "Are you having nightmares again?" Minhyuk asked with concern on his face.

 "No, it's not a nightmare. In fact, it was a good dream." You paused.

"Well, at least it is until someone starts shaking me so violently, I thought there was an earthquake." You said to him with a somewhat annoyed tone now. He pouted.

You stood up wanting to get a quick shower because you're still in your yesterday's work clothes but your ankle give way. Now you remembered that you had sprained your ankle and it's still swollen. You realised what was not adding up. You were dreaming, that's why it wasn't hurting earlier.

And that guy in your dream, Hyunwoo.

Who is he? Have you seen him before?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 It’s been a month since you dreamt of Hyunwoo and you were hoping to dream of him again but instead, the whole nightmare routine starts bugging you instead.

 Today, was no different as you find yourself fighting the tiredness to sleep. But after sometime, you finally can’t hold much longer and you fell asleep on the sofa. When you opened your eye and to your delight, you were at the same cafe, same sofa seat where you and Hyunwoo were at before.

 "Hey, your coffee." Looking up, you saw that smiley eyes that you were missing so much, right in front of you.

 "Hey.." You replied, fighting the urge to ask if he he's real. Afraid that it would break the spell to whatever is causing this dream.

 You decided to throw the thought to the back of your head, as you have been waiting for this to happen ever since that day, you tell yourself to enjoy it well it last. So, you turned your focus back on him.

 "How have you been?" You smiled while sipping on the coffee he got for you.

 "I'm good. And I've been thinking about talking to you again" That sudden confession caught you off guard.

 Has he been thinking about me? This is a dream, right? He's probably a reflection of what I've been wanting to hear from a guy.

Now you're very much convinced by yourself that all this are probably just in your head.

 The both of you talked for a while, enjoying each other's company. It felt nice talking to Hyunwoo and you were hoping to talk for a little longer but a loud ringing sound woke you up.

Lazy hand searching for the source of the dreadful sound, you grabbed the alarm and turn it off. Looking at the time, it's now 5AM and you know you are back at the harsh reality of work week. A sigh leaves you as you drag your heavy body out of bed.

 On the way to work, you can't help but be hopeful about dreaming of Hyunwoo again since the second time did happened.

 Indeed, you found yourself seeing Hyunwoo in your dreams for the third, fourth and fifth time in a spent of 2 months. It always happens at the same cafe. The both of you would be seating at the same sofa seat, drinking the same drinks. Even though, there's no knowing to when you will be dreaming of Hyunwoo but when you did, he never fails to makes you happy and recharged. You start seeing yourself looking forward to sleeping and dreaming again. Something that you use to love before adulting. Not to mention, nightmare have been less frequent and you were feeling better every day. It was a good sign for you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 And today you're dream again, the sixth time. But you found yourself at a different setting. It wasn't the usual cafe or the sofa seat that you always sat on. It was a place you are not familiar with. It was someone's home.

 It was Hyunwoo's home to be exact. You can see his family picture framed up sitting on the kitchen's table. He was smiling so brightly in the picture and you can see where he probably gets his youthfulness from. You smiled because in front of you, stands a familiar back hovering over the stove.

 "Your mum look so young and pretty." you said while admiring his back view.

 He turned around sounded in agreement. Now turning towards you, you can't help but to admire this perfect looking guy, in his home clothes and combing his hair back with his hand. He wearing a white tee that hug his body perfectly, showing his chest muscles curve and broad shoulder and a pair of shorts that shows his long legs. Unaware of yourself checking him out so openly, he chuckled

 "Enjoying your view huh?" he says jokingly as he turns back to cook.

 You cough trying to hid your blushing face, "Ahem, are you cooking ramen?" "The legendary 'Hyunwoo's ramen'?" You giggled as you teased him.

 "Yes, I promised its the real deal."

 "Are you sure is that good?"

 "Oh yes, it's that good that you would want for more." feeling challenged as he places the ramen in front of you.

"Go on, have a taste"

 He leans in on the table, moving into your personal space as you took your first bite. You're trying to ignore his extremely close presence, not sure if it's the ramen or Hyunwoo that's making you all hot now.

 "How is it? Good?" Staring at you earnestly, waiting for your feedback.

 How am I supposed to concentrate and eating with him being so close?

 In all honesty, he looks so yummy you just want to eat him instead. You can't help but blush so hard at your own desirable thoughts.

 "Are you ok?" Hyunwoo asked as his hands feels your burning cheeks and his face just inches away from you.

 Your face now so close to his. You looked at his so kissable lips and a sudden impulse urged you to slid forward and kiss him. You retreat back and shut your eyes, hoping to wakes up so you don't have to face the embarrassment from your action. But you didn't. Before you know it, you felt Hyunwoo lips clashing back on yours causing you to open your eye in a shock. That impulse and innocent kiss had turned into a heated open mouth kisses as Hyunwoo move his hand behind your head keep you closer. You felt yourself heated up from the action. You want more. He pulls away after a while, only to carry you up onto the table as he parted your legs to stand between you. He latched his lips back on yours and you swear you're feel all sorts of sensational feeling with what he was doing. Hyunwoo slowly moves his hand with lazy fingers gliding all over your body leaving hot trials and tingling feelings to where ever he passes. You can feel the shiver up your body and the tight knot somewhere inside of you wanting more of him.  

He pulls you closer to him while moving down to your neck, giving you soft open kisses. You can feel his growing bulge pressing on your centre as he grinds up against you, cause you to make soft seductive moans that you never thought you're capable of making.

 "Hyunwoo.." You murmur as you arched your back.

 He tilted his head up to look at you, so done for him just from the kisses. You can see his pupils blown; eyes filled with lust. He wants you. Before you can think of anything, you shudder as you felt the sudden contact of his palm cupping your heated clothed centre. You moaned and that encouraged him to move further. He slipped his hand through the side of your shorts and pushing your panties aside. You hissed at him when he parts your folds and starts making circle at your swollen nub. You can't remember the last time someone had taken care of you like that and saying you were a moaning mess is an understatement. You moved your hand wrapping around his now fully grown budge, wanting to help him relief from the strain in his shorts. You can hear his low moaned when you start pumping him. He sounded so attractive, yet so sweet. Soon after, both of you were helping each other to chased your much needed high.

 "Baby.." the sudden pet name got you closer to your high " I can't…" you curled your toe and shut your eyes, preparing for the rush that was going to come through.

 But talk about bad timing.

 As you opened your eye as you found yourself lying on your own bed. You rolled over, face pressed down and you screamed into your pillow venting out your frustration. You need to settle your sexual frustration. Reaching down to your panties which is now soak with aroused. 

You sighed. "I want him." 

You find yourself craving for Hyunwoo. While thinking of him, you settle your needs with the fate of your own fingers.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 2 weeks went by after that heated dream you had. The seventh didn't come.

  "Just go to that damn cafe! It won't hurt anyone…" Minhyuk retorted over at the other side of the phone. Clearly annoyed at you talking about the cafe for the nth number of times over the months.

 You had told Minhyuk about all your encounter with Hyunwoo in your dreams. Maybe not all, you did leave the sixth encounter out to save yourself some teasing that you would for sure get from him.

 "I dont know. I mean they're dreams. I shouldn't let it bothers me so much." turning and twisting your hair on your finger while you talked.

 You have been thinking of going to that cafe ever since the first dream but you couldn't find a reason to go. You make your own morning coffee so you won't willing to spend that extra money on coffee outside. Work also got the best of you, so you go only between your work place or home. Your life it's so exhausting, so during weekends you just wants to stay at home do your overdue laundry and spend the rest of the day sloth-ing.

 Today, Minhyuk finally convince you to get out of your den and you both were planning to meet for lunch.

 "How about you go there and get me a cup of coffee before we meet?" Minhyuk suggested. Clearly taking advantage of your dilemma but, it works. You were more convince to pop by the cafe for a reason.

"You're one smart ass." you can hear his sinister laugh, knowing that he succeeded in getting himself a free coffee.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 "Hi, welcome!" The girl behind the cashier smile as you walk through the door. In reality, you have never noticed this cafe before, so let alone visit it, but it felt familiar. The interior and the seating were the same as what you could remember from your dreams. You look at the menu board for a while, even though you know you would probably get an ice coffee to satisfy your caffeine needs as you didn't have one in the morning. But you saw 'Honey grapefruit tea" on the drink’s special menu and without much thinking you ordered it along with Minhyuk's ice coffee. You set down at the same sofa seat that you and Hyunwoo had sat on in the dream, while waiting for your orders.

Your phone vibrates.

TheannoyingBFF: Hey babe! Please dont kill me!

TheannoyingBFF: Hyungwon car broke down and he needs me to find him

You: ...

TheannoyingBFF: I'll buy you dinner tomorrow

TheannoyingBFF: I PROMISE!

You: You better!

You: Be glad that I'm still at the cafe and not on my way

TheannoyingBFF: I'm sorry and I love you!

You: I would've killed you

You: along with hyungwon

TheannoyingBFF: Hope you will bump into him, so my sin can be off set *Praying emoji*

You: ...

You: Bye

 You grabbed your drinks when your order tag buzz and went back to the sofa seat. Having your plans cancelled and with no back up, you decided to stay in the cafe for a while. This cafe makes you smile. You were happy when you're there, so it naturally makes you feel good.

 You took a sip of the new drink and with an impressed look, you mumble to yourself “Waoh, it's indeed nice and refreshing."  Continue drinking, you stare at Minhyuk's ice coffee that is place in front of the empty seat, you thought to yourself how lonely this makes you look. Like you've been bumped or something and this makes you feel like cursing at Lee Minhyuk.

 'Ting Ting' the doorbell of the cafe rang. You didnt react to it as it has been sounding out quite a few times. While you continue to scroll through your feed, a familiar voice started talking.

 "Hi, is this seat taken?" Looking at you and gesturing at the empty seat in front of you.

 You looked up, couldn't believe by the person standing in front of you. You start looking around and find the cafe seat all packed, so you turned back to him "Erm.. No" while you kind of avoid looking at him as you try to calm your nerves and trying hard not to show that "love struck" expression.

 He smiled and thank you as he set down. You moved the cup of now showing two layered coffee away, so he can have his space.

After a minute or so, his order tag buzzed and he stood up to get his drink. Your eye followed him as he went over to the counter. When he got his drink, you notice the table at the far end were about to leave and you can feel a slight disappointment in you, thinking that he would move to that available seats. 

But to your surprise, you see him walking back towards you.

 "If you don't mind, I did love to seat here. Is that ok?" His requested makes you smile.

 "I don't mind. Please seat."

 Both of you were quiet for a while, looking at your individual phones when you decided to break the silence.

 "Do you stay around here?"

A sudden Goosebumps came to you as you asked the same question, at the same place, same spot.

 He looked at you and with a soft smile, not questioning or looking at you weirdly.

 "Yes, I just.."

before he finished his sentence, you were mumbling under your breathe, like you already know what he would probably say.

"..moved here recently and was exploring the neighbourhood."

 He now looked at you with wide eyes but somehow it doesn't look like he was spooked by you but rather a sense of realisation. Like you know his secret.

He grabbed your hand and rushed out of the cafe, bring you to the 'stairs of hell'. That very spot when he first met you.

 "Do you know this spot?" trying to search for an answer from you.

 "Yes" is all you say, as you're trying to process the situation here.

 He grins, showing his teeth and his eyes turned into a smiley eye that were so familiar with.

 "This is real right?" you couldn't help but asked.

Because at this moment, you were just confused and happy all at the same time. Hoping that this could be real and not wakes up to nothingness again.

 "It is." "Let's do this all over again." Not sure what he means by his words, you waited.

"Hi, I'm Hyunwoo. Nice to finally meet you." he stretched out his hand wanting for a handshake.

 You couldn't help but to smile and hug him instead. The guy that you have been thinking of, debating if he is real or just fantasy, is right in front of you.

 "Hi.. I'm y/n" you murmur as you can feel the tears that trapped in your eyes threatening to fall out.

 He hugs you back and you could hear him say "Thank you for finally going to that cafe."

You look up at him "Did you go to that cafe frequently, hoping that you could meet me?" You're certain your face is now showing that 'love stuck' expression as you ask that question.

 "Yes" is all he said as he held your arms and gave you a kiss on your forehead. 

That moment, knew you're the one that needs to buy Minhyuk a meal and you can't love him enough for giving you the reason to go to the cafe.

 "Shall we continue where we left off?" He whispered softly into your ears and turns to look at you with a goofy smile. 

You can feel your face burning as he reached down to kissed you on your lips.

 Having to experience ‘real dream’ yourself, you now truly believed your grandparents dreams and that some dreams really do come true.

[eyeslikefoxglove]

Episode 8 - WangXian go on a date & DON’T BLINK

Hello there, welcome to another Untamed commentary. To put everyone in the mood, it is Friday evening, one of those grey rainy days interrupted briefly by by brilliant burst of sunlight. I’m having a snack (chopped mango with yoghurt and a homemade matcha latte with honey), I just washed my hair, I’ve exfoliated, masked and moisturised. And everyone in this household is doing their own thing (napping, watching tv shows, more napping), I’m in a very good mood, so let’s go ahead with episode 8.

I think I’ve never commented on the intro credits before, I’ve seen people say they prefer to skip them because they find them spoilery, which they undoubtedly are. However, besides the absolutely stunning cinematography what I feel they aimed for is confusion. You’ve got this guy who’s kind of dark, but he’s crying and playing the flute, then some people are trying to kill him in some scenes, but in others he’s fighting back to back with the same guys and then there’s black smoke everywhere... I feel that, if I saw the credits I’d be intrigued enough to actively look for the drama and find out what the deal with the guy with the flute is.

And let me repeat something from the previous episode:

BUNBUNS. LOOK AT THE BUNBUNS

HOW’S WWX CUTER THAN THE BUNBUNS. THEY’RE BUNBUNS.

DONT FUCKING DO IT. Oh but these three with the bunbuns just melt my heart. STAY WITH THE BUNBUNS FOREVER AND NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN.

JC: gentlemen’s don’t hold bunbuns.

JC: *proceeds to be soft and cute and gentle with the bunbun he’s holding*

Ok but stoic serious no-nonsense LWJ stopping to say goodbye to the bunbuns? That’s fucking adorable.

FR tho, people who are “tough/cold/unapproachable” being super soft with tiny creatures is my damn kryptonite. It’s like, Ben Solo, being a super-beefcake with a lightsaber, a terrible past, too much attitude... and a kitten on his shoulder, I would 100000% ignore the bit where he was a super effective killing machine and go “aww. you like cats!”

As a lover or thunderstorms at night when everything is still and quiet I would’ve stabbed WC up a nostril just on principle, so props to LXC for not murdering that clown. Never mind threatening his baby brother.

I LOVE SHIJIE’S UNWAVERING FAITH IN HER XIANXIAN.

Aaaaaand let’s have a moment to admire LWJ/Wang YiBo in blue.

Ok, done.

OH MY GOD. I’d forgotten this bit was in here. So you know when WWX has just caught up with LWJ and he throws him a loquat and complains about LWJ leaving him behind? I love the bit when he’s calling the Lans petty, and LWJ just goes “boring” and sweeps past him with this tiny sassy smirk and leaves WWX fucking processing for a second. I live for that kind of LWJ and that’s partly what my TimeTraveling!LWJ was based on.

WWX: *ties them with magic* isn’t this neat?

LWJ, internally: so he’s a genius dumbass, I’m fucked.

Ok now that we are a bit in I can safely say this is one of my favourite episodes. No, it is not because it is pretty much an episode-long WangXian date. How dare you.

LWJ’s internal monologue: I can’t believe in so in love with this dumbass. I’m moron-sexual the gods help me.

JC being a good bro and JYL being the fucking queen of the universe like she always is.

(Another moment to appreciate LWJ/Wang YiBo in blue)

I feel LWJ’s aversión to crowds on a spiritual level.

I also feel NHS excelling just in what he likes so much. I mean, I was never a terrible student, but looking back at just the last six years in Med School my marks skyrocketed from a passing grade in stuff like physics and biophysics to top marks in things like neurosurgery; just due to the fact that I find neurosurgery way more interesting than physics.

THE PETAL SHOWER SCENE IS STUNNING. Also, if you don’t think WWX already had a crush on LWJ (and I am talking in The Untamed/CQL verse, I know that in the books he still thought he was straight) I’m pretty sure this is filmed just so we’d have visual confirmation that he is indeed crushing so hard. And I still don’t know if NHS is wingmaning or third wheeling. (Both? Both? Both? Both is good.)

I mean, NHS goes onto his “LWJ is stunning” monologue, and then WWX gives him kind of a disbelieving look. BUT THEN, he glances at LWJ (again being showered in flowers bc he wasn’t gorgeous enough on his own) and his face turns considering, he makes a stupid joke, and he goes back to looking at LWJ with the softest smile. I will fight anyone that dares tell me CQL!WWX hasn’t been crushing on LWJ since the Cloud Recesses.

//Sidebar LWJ’s looks adorably in awe at the petal shower this whole time.

Aaaaaand plot happens.

Oooof! The contrast between all the colourful flowers before and the burned blackened garden now. Ooooof.

Ok but that shadow bird is fucking cool and I want one.

WC’s head piece (guan?) makes me think of the Disney designs for Pain and Panic.

I know is wishful thinking, but if I wonder how different things would’ve been if WQ had snapped and offed WC when he was taunting her with the safety of her family.

Can I take a moment to rave about how clever WQ is? I mean, she’s already worried and scared for her family, she had absolutely no warning before JC ran into her and yet she managed to pull off that ruse to warn him about WangXian and NHS being in trouble in what, a few minutes? She’s so cool.

Ok, full disclosure here, I can’t see elderly people being sad, scared or worried, it reminds me of my maternal grandparents whom I adored and I get super sad.

(My dad still has his parents but they are terrible to my mum, dad and me, so they get no sympathy)

Funny story: I almost fell backwards the first time I heard “grandmother” used as a respectful term to an elderly lady back when I was living in Bulgaria (I moved back to Spain like a week ago, I’m over the moon to be home y’all). You don’t do that in Spain, calling someone who’s not your grandma “grandma” is really fucking rude.

Aaaaaand none of these knuckleheads know how to speak with a person in shock. They get a pass because all teens are knuckleheads in some measure but...

But if I heard a terrified lady muttering about soul snatching I’d fuck right off that village tbh. I’d take my chances sleeping in the woods with the roaming serial killers.

[it just started storming, I love this!]

Sure! Let’s stay the night in a cave with a creepy anthropomorphic statue that’s supposed to snatch souls. I’m sure it’ll be ok.

NHS is the only one with a Braincell here. (NHS is my adorable Slytherin son and I love him)

Y’all might not have noticed but I have not I’m not going to comment on the quality of the CGI/special effects/monsters. I’m aware this is a tv show and it doesn’t have the same budget as idk, a Marvel movie. I’m ok with them not being that believable. Same with unbelievable sword moves, I know shit all about sword fighting and even less about xianxia. Y’all might even be lucky enough to avoid my “bodies don’t work that way” rants, because again, everyone has magic, why would medicine be any different.

[brief interlude here, I had to go cat-hunting because we couldn’t find one of the cats, she likes to make a break for it sometimes, it’s a full on thunderstorm outside, almost sundown and she’s solid black. We found her in the basement exploring. Two of the other ones are in the kitchen with my mum and my big scaredy boi is under my bed. Also, this storm just reminded me that my dad is fixing the attic so I can have a “loft” next year when I start my residency and I can’t wait to fall asleep to rain up there.]

NOT THE TIME TO FLIRT WWX. NOT THE FUCKING TIME.

What LWJ says: stay alert (in case the statue moves again)

What I hear: Don’t Blink!

Oh come on! Zombies now? Fuck right off, let them sleep!

And that was episode 8! Thank you for reading.

[eimagines]

love drug // jeff pfister

pairing: jeff pfister x reader genre: smut  summary: after bringing the two crackheads their coffee, you bite off more than you thought you could chew with a certain blonde scientist.  warnings: rushed spicy stuff, drug use. bratty sub behaviour? idk I ain't good with defining sexy stuff lmao word count: 2900

a/n: lowkey a joke. highkey not. 

“If you can get four, then get four,” Mutt spoke down the phone.

“If I get four, then I'm having one,” you responded as you stood in a slow-moving queue, scanning the list of coffee sizes and flavours.

“I gave you the money for me and Jeff, not for you,” Mutt responded to your growing annoyance.

“So you can spend grands on cocaine and hookers but refuse to by your own sister a cuppa’ coffee? Really great brother you are,” you replied, your voice oozing sarcasm, ordering the four coffees and waiting for them patiently, “I’m not your assistant Mutt, next time you can get your own damn coffee.” You hung up before he gave you another snarky response about not needing to do anything himself. Sighing, you thanked the cashier and left the aroma filled coffee shop, four caramel macchiatos in hand.

You loved your brother, but he was an asshole.

The walk to the Kineros Robotics building wasn’t far, and with the weather warm on your skin as you walked, you’d much preferred it to driving. Mutt has offered to let you take his car, but you preferred the simplicity of walking and pretty much hated the extravagance of Mutt’s new lifestyle choices.

The sleek elevator of the building took you down to Mutt’s place of worship, the modern minimalistic white walls bright and often headache inducing. Splashes of colour from the lady in purple was the only thing that stood vibrant amongst the desolate canvas of white, the sound of your boots on the floor and tapping of computer keys the only noises to bounce of the plain walls of the eerily long corridor.

“Hope you like macchiatos.” You said as you casually placed a coffee cup in front of Miss Venable, the purple of her clothing against her bright orange hair complimenting but making your eyes sore. 

Miss Venable has an authoritative God Complex, but she never managed to intimidate you. She could tell you to get out as much as she wanted and you could simply laugh in her face, acting sickly sweet always furthered her annoyance. You would be kind where you could be, knowing that working for your brother and his idiot friend Jeff all day every day was probably the most frustrating job in the world. 

“I don’t see the need to take pleasure in caffeinated drinks, especially when at work.”  She responded.

“Stop living like a robot for once, it’s only coffee,” You responded with a sigh and a smile, “I won’t tell anyone, promise, plus, it’s on Mutt.”

As you strolled past the large glass windows and into Mutt and Jeff’s office you spotted the orange-haired lady in the reflection of the glass, sipping quickly at her coffee. You gave her a sly smirk, shaking your head and rolling your eyes. Typical.

Huge mountains of white powder littered the room, Jeff and Mutt sat at their desks, typing away at their laptops furiously. 

“I think if I stay in this room long enough I’d breathe in enough cocaine to kill me,” You sighed as you sat Mutt’s coffee down in front of him, throwing your tote bag from your shoulder onto the floor next to Jeff’s desk, “You guys are so gross, how long have you been in here?”

“What only one coffee?” Mutt asked ignoring your question, his attention turning from his computer coding onto you as you passed Jeff’s coffee over to him as well. Jeff gave you a small smile. 

“You want me to pour that coffee all over your head or are you gonna drink your one coffee and shut the hell up?” You asked Mutt, throwing his bank card at him as Jeff peered over the top of his computer screen to watch you both, chuckling under his breath. Mutt gave you a glare as you hopped up onto Jeff’s desk, leaning over him slightly to inspect his work.

“What are you working on?” You asked, looking at his computer interested. You spotted the way his eyes left his computer and stalked across your legs, resting his gaze on your thighs for a moment. You rolled your eyes with a smile.

Hopping off his desk, you lowered your voice as not to gain the attention of Mutt who sat barely meters away, “Y’know, if your gonna keep staring at me you should try not being so obvious about it.”

It wasn’t hard for you to get under Jeff’s skin. You’d managed to rile him up a fair few times in the past, even managing to give him a boner at a family party. Jeff wasn’t exactly what you looked for in a partner; a cocaine addiction was bound to warn anyone away. You still found yourself looking forward to winding him up when you came to visit Mutt. You found yourself thinking about him more and more. You’d even caught yourself on a couple of occasions feeling annoyed if Mutt would mention Jeff sleeping with an escort or fucking the accountant from the building across the road. You took pleasure in watching his face turn red and him shuffle in his seat when you teased him.

“What are you doing today?” Mutt asked as you wandered around the room aimlessly, poking at their robots in both disgust and amazement.

“Nothing,” you responded in annoyance, “I was supposed to be working on some installation in Florida this week, something to do with a string of murders in the 50′s but the guy running it decided to go get himself killed, so now I’m free all week.”

“How compassionate of you.” Mutt said sarcastically. You snarled at him, sitting in one of the many spinning leather chairs across from him. 

“What are you guys working on?” You sighed, still interested, screwing up a little ball of paper and throwing it at Mutt.

“Just coding some updates,” Jeff replied, inspecting the realistic robotic doll hand on his desk. You rolled your chair over to watch him. “People are complaining that the speeds aren't varied enough and the wrist movements aren't as natural as they should be. Assholes. They never stop asking for more.” He sighed as you watched him play around with some wiring.

“Pffft. Like they’d even know. They're paying for a fucking sex robot, I doubt they’ve ever been near a real woman.”

“Hey! Don't disrespect the craft or the customer!” Mutt shouted, sniffing a line of already finely cut cocaine from off the table in front of him. Jeff followed suit and you shot them both a glare.

“You’re both so fucked up.” You rolled your eyes, as Jeff watched you stand, his eyes trailing down your body slowly. He didn’t know if it was the cocaine making him more sexually aroused but he knew he’d always found you attractive. Watching you saunter around his office aimlessly drove him a little mad with excitement. He wished that Mutt wasn’t here, that he had the office to himself and he was free to do whatever he wanted with you and you with him. You were a forbidden fruit, consistently teasing him into taking a bite for himself. 

“You ever think about making a male version of these things?” You said lifting one of the robot's arms up and letting it go so it fell at her side.

“Be careful with her!” Mutt looked at you annoyed.

“Why would we do that?” Jeff asked.

“Cause there's just as many sad lonely sexually frustrated woman out there wanting to fuck as there are men,” you watched Jeff wriggle in his seat as he listened to you, “You guys could really expand your audience.”

Mutt laughed. “We’re not gonna spend our valuable time making huge man dicks for horny old women.”

“Fine.” You shrugged, sipping at your coffee and eyeing Jeff up who stared at you intently as you sucked on your straw teasingly, “But you perverts are missing out on a plethora of nerdy virgin and milf porn with those camera vision things. Just saying.”

You grabbed your jacket and coffee in your hand and started to make your way out of their man cave, “I want 20% of your profit if you do it or I’ll sue you both.”

“Whatever,” Mutt called, without turning to say goodbye, his focus still on his computer and mountain of cocaine.

“Bye nerds.” You called, giving Jeff a sly wink as he watched your figure disappear behind the white corridor walls.

-

You were in the bathroom when you realised you’d left your bag in the office. Jeff, however, had realised you’d left your bag immediately - hoping you’d done it on purpose so that you’d come back afterwards when it was just you and him and he could fuck you on Mutt’s desk.

He’d eyed it for a while. Staying silent in-between line after line of cocaine up his nostrils and a few taps at his keyboard. He couldn’t concentrate on anything; you had preoccupied his mind and filled all the spaces with images of you moaning beneath him. He tapped his pen against his smooth white desk, biting the pen lid between his teeth, his eyes focussed on your bag. 

‘If she left it accidentally she will be back for it soon,’ Jeff thought to himself, frustration building up in his mind. 

Jeff had everything he’d ever wanted, everything other than you. With that thought in mind, he decided to go for it; to hunt you down with the gentlemanly excuse of returning your possessions and attempt to sweep you off your feet in the process. He was tired of being tormented and teased. And what was the worst that could happen? 

He took to his feet quickly, mumbling an excuse to an uninterested Mutt, and sweeped the bag from off of the floor, darting out of the office quickly.

“You seen [Y/N] around? She left her bag.” Jeff asked Miss Venable in a desperate tone.

“She excused herself to the bathroom. I can take that off of your hands if you wish?” She asked, suspicion running through her cold voice.

Jeff shook her off, stalking towards the office bathroom just around the corner without another word. His body, and nose, were filled with false confidence. His heart felt like it had come out of his chest when he saw you leaving the bathroom, jacket thinly covering your shoulders. You stood, both staring at each other at opposite ends of the corridor. He felt like no amount of cocaine could give him the confidence he needed to be able to do what he wanted to most.

“Jeff.” You called to him, a small smile on your lips. You felt a little excitement flare in your chest, wondering what sort of divine entity had managed to bless you with Jeff stood awkwardly by himself in front of you.

“[Y/N],” He responded quickly, his legs moving him towards you before he knew what he was doing, “You left your bag.”

You smiled at him suspiciously, surprised at his genuine gesture, “Thanks. You didn’t have to.”

“I know, I wanted to.” He replied staring at you, his eyes obviously lustful and frustrated. You were both silent for a while, just staring at each other.

“Well, if there's nothing else you want,” You said, delicately grazing your fingers over Jeff’s hand as you took your bag from him, teasing him even more, “I’ll see you.”

Jeff wrapped his hand around your wrist as you attempted to walk away from him, causing you to shoot him a look of both confusion, annoyance and lust.

“You know what I want.” Jeff breathed out heavily, seriousness riddled in his voice, his eyes even darker than usual. You could feel your heart quickening as the grip on your wrist got tighter.

“And what is that?” You teased him further. 

He didn’t reply, simply dragging you back into the toilet cubicle you had exited from. He ignored your huffed laughs and weak protests as he locked the door behind you both, pushing you against the nearest wall and pressing his lips against yours desperately before you could question his actions. 

You couldn’t think at first. It felt like your mind went blank as Jeff pinned your body against the cold tiled wall behind you. You grabbed his face, deepening the kiss, smiling at how easily you’d managed to get him right where you wanted him and eagerly sucking at his bottom lip. 

Jeff broke the kiss first, taking off his shirt and throwing it to the floor. You followed his actions, taking off your thin jacket and connecting your lips desperately once more as you clumsily backed him against the sinks and attempted to unbutton his belt. 

As you fiddled with his jeans he fiddled with yours, pulling off your shirt and shuffled his jeans down to his ankles. Each item of clothing that was pulled off sent lust to pool between your thighs. Each kiss of Jeff’s lips against the hot skin of your neck sent tingles down your spine.

"Fuck,” He cursed as he spun you around to face the mirrors that hovered over the sinks. He was behind you and you watched as he sucked purple spots onto your exposed flesh, your hands finding their way into his hair as his found there way into your underwear, “You’re so wet.” Jeff took this as a personal achievement, his digits sliding across your heat as he watched your mouth open and a moan slip out.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” He said, frustration clear in his voice, his growing excitement rubbing against you as he bent you over the sink harshly, his fingers leaving your warmth and pulling the thin fabric down your legs and away from your body. You were exposed to him, finally at his mercy.

He took his length out and pumped himself a few times, sticking one of his fingers inside you as you bit your lip in excitement and pleasure. The hurriedness of the situation and the worry that filled you both in case you were caught, it turned you on more than anything you’d experienced in the past. 

“You have to stop teasing me, [Y/N],” Jeff said as he replaced his finger with the tip of his dick, rubbing it against your folds, eager to turn the tables, “How would like it I left you here now? Horny and alone. Humiliated. You’d hate it.”

“But you wouldn’t do that.” You hummed knowingly, moving your ass back and desperate for more contact.

“You think your smart to tease me the way you do?” Jeff said, taking a handful of your hair in his hand roughly, “You’re such a little brat.”

“Jeff, shut up and fuck me.” You shouted, causing him to laugh lightly, yank your hair up and pull you onto his thick throbbing length. 

You both let out a moan of satisfaction. He never let you adjust to his size, slamming into you fast and hard, in and out, the sounds of skin slapping on skin bouncing off the small enclosed walls of the bathroom immediately. His fingers let go of your hair and grabbed at your thighs, driving his hips into yours fast and hard, his thumbs digging into you harshly and the cold feeling of the sink digging into your front. You watched in the mirror as Jeff fucked you from behind, his face contorting in pleasure, his eyes catching your own with a devilish smile.

“You like watching me fuck you, huh?” He asked, grabbing at your neck and pulling you up so your back was pressed flush again his chest, his cock still driving in and out of you fast, both of you watching each other in the reflection as Jeff kissed sloppily at your neck, using his free hand to rub circles on your throbbing clit. 

You moaned at the feeling, Jeff’s name spilling from your swollen lips. The sound of his name from your fucked out tired voice sent him crazy, the pleasure from your tight walls wrapped around him giving him an experience that no amount of drugs could compare to. 

He kept on at your clit, surprisingly accurate for a man who loves cocaine and maths a little too much. The feeling off his throbbing cock deep inside you, his fingers rubbing at you sensitive nub, the way his hips snapped into yours and his hand grabbed at your throat was too much for you. Your legs were becoming weaker and the coil in your stomach was about to come undone.

“Don’t stop Jeff, oh fuck,” You moaned out, grabbing at his strong thighs behind you leaving little nail marks in your fingertips wake.

“You gonna cum?” Jeff asked confidently. You nodded taking your bottom lip in your teeth to stop yourself from moaning too loudly, the feeling of euphoria erupting from your stomach and spreading through your body. 

Your legs quivered as your orgasm pulsated throughout your core, you walls contracting around Jeff’s cock. He moaned at the feeling, fucking you through your orgasm, letting go of your throat and pushing you against the sinks once more. You gripped onto the sinks to keep your tired body up as Jeff continued to pound into you, soon pulling out and finishing on your back with a loud groan of your name.

“Fuck.” He swore breathlessly, his hands rubbing at your thighs fondly, placing a sweet kiss on the nape of your neck, a harsh contrast to the Jeff who just fucked you into the bathroom sinks a couple minutes ago.

“You better clean that up.” You shot him a smirk. 

He shot you a smirk back through the mirror, looking at your flushed red and sweaty face. He could definitely get used to seeing you in this manner.

“You should leave your bag in the office more often.”

-

A/N: I decided to have the reader not sniff cocaine cause not everyone is comfortable with that shit and also its lowkey triggering for my cocaine habit lmao. Cocaine is a hell of a drug kids I suggest not indulging in it what-so-ever; also I think Jeff would be emotionally all over the place cause of all the drugs so I wrote him in a way where he’s confident and then not it’s because that’s something it will do lol. Also, coke affects your sex drive so if this was irl he’d likely be struggling to even keep it up, gonna thank satan for that one. Also, yes I think Jeff is a talker and a little bit rough; stereotyped but he is a Satanist after all!

[chimcharstar]

1-100 TELL ME ALL

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

1. What is you middle name?

Jesse

2. How old are you?

22

3. When is your birthday?

dec 9

4. What is your zodiac sign?

sagittarius

5. What is your favorite color?

purples

6. What’s your lucky number?

9

7. Do you have any pets?

no

8. Where are you from?

bc canada. my great grandparents are from russia

9. How tall are you?

5 something

10. What shoe size are you?

7?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

3 that i actually use

12. What was your last dream about?

i dont remember my most recent one but i had a banger of a dream i described in another post

13. What talents do you have?

i think expressing myself, or music, i have some talent that needs discipline

14. Are you psychic in any way?

well i am a spiritual person, in a way. and growing up in a toxic drama filled family, i have Developed the Skill of guessing how people are feeling and what they are gonna do. and i analyze dreams. so not psychic but i am really interested and intuitive whats goin on in there

15. Favorite song?

for some reason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oilVq8-F4_Q colours by roosevelt ive been obsessed with lately i just loop that shit. loop loop loop. blaringit into my ears and speedwalking down thestreet. the beat.!!!! i feel like I  took all the colours

16. Favorite movie?

spiderverse. i really enjoyed always be my maybe.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who doesnt make me feel like im Too Much

18. Do you want children?

not RIGHT NOW

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i have no idea actually. id want a special wedding definitely.

20. Are you religious?

yes, i honestly feel like i just come like this, i dont go by any books and i dont want to be associated with christians. if i be too religious i start getting the Bad Feelings

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

yes visiting sick relatives. and one in a psyche ward.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

i got a parking ticket

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

no. maybe i did and i had no idea who they were because id never heard of them

24. Baths or showers?

showers.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

alien socks that are green and black

26. Have you ever been famous?

no. what does that even mean !!!!

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

yes because money but noooooo. its hard when one person definitely doesnt like me. if im famous some people just wont like me and theres going to be more of them

28. What type of music do you like?

stuff with electric guitars in it. funk. bops. i cant get enough lately

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

no

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

one. and sometimes NONE. i dont fucking know why its just more comfortable. id lie down on a floor and pass out

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

i usually cant fall asleep unless im on my face with my arms tucked under me for warmpth and general log shape. after that though its chaos. dreamin

32. How big is your house?

BIG!!!!!! so many rooms. so many people. 

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

on a Functional day, cereal. not because its my favourite thing but it doesnt require a lot of attention and its easiest to tolerate. my appetite is just. like this

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

HELL no.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

in my child days i shot my hair elastics around and pretended i was fighting aliens. this is definitely archery.

36. Favorite clean word?

i dont really think about words like that. pizza is a nice word.

37. Favorite swear word?

bitch. its really fun to say.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

not all that long. if i was up the entire night i am usually sleeping in midday no matter where i am. ive disappointed many teachers. its called not caring.

39. Do you have any scars?

yes, but theres no dramatic stories to them, just me not leaving scratches and bites alone as a kid. they look kind of cool though. and theyre so mysterious. youd think id have scars from self harm but no.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

i believe so...

41. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i am 100% like morally committed to lying.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

NO. my thought process is: its rude to assume someone is going to behave badly, and they will be offended and have hurt feelings if you anticipate that. i have to like. treat everyone with exactly the same respect unless theyre a dick. otherwise its being judgmental. and it ends up as naïveté. but im okay with that . the price of being a good person

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i could do a british one once i guess LOL and it looks like now ive Absorbed a mexican accent but i never really try to talk in other accents

44. Do you have a strong accent?

i dont know how to answer this

45. What is your favorite accent?

idk i like new things i havent heard before. and thinking about how other languages work. theres a lot of different accents at my work and i honestly enjoy listening to them

46. What is your personality type?

that.... INFJ. see. psychic

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

one of the gay jackets

48. Can you curl your tongue?

dont think so

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

50. Left or right handed?

left

51. Are you scared of spiders?

depends. i had these big house spiders in my dungeon at my parents house, and id just be “hi” and set them free. but if i see one where im not expecting it i might yell a lot and tell everyone and run around and then set it free

52. Favorite food?

tacos from my old work. i was indeed. screaming, lost in the sauce. i waited until i was away from the restaurant because i knew all my dignity would vanish

53. Favorite foreign food?

idk... i need to eat more curry. i need more curryin my life. bring it on.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

clean

55. Most used phrased?

“this slaps” i feel like ive been saying that a lot

56. Most used word?

I

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

a whole entire fucking hour (when i wake up) otherwise 5min

58. Do you have much of an ego?

i do, but i hide it. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

chomp chomp. i am not a patient man.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

yes, when i know no ones around, or when im not worried about seeming like a crazy person at work

61. Do you sing to yourself?

nah

62. Are you a good singer?

no. i can sing and it sound okay.  nice even. but good??? like beautiful?????? no.

63. Biggest Fear?

someone dying, natural disaster, new illness

64. Are you a gossip?

maybe. i feel like i have the Tendencies and then im like “am i being a bad person right now”. i want to know the deets though.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

i Simply Dont Have the Attention for Those

66. Do you like long or short hair?

BOTH . long hair is more fun to draw. short hair is hot

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

fuck no. why would i. fuck off. i dont care about your states.

68. Favorite school subject?

ART ART AR T

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

introerverte

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

no

71. What makes you nervous?

people who are not Definitely Cheerful

72. Are you scared of the dark?

no. unless i think about things to scare myself on purpose

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

no unless they need to know. because im not a fucking ANIMAL

74. Are you ticklish?

depends. i can be not ticklish if im determined.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

i dont think so... i started a rumor i was from mars

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

maybe i was supposed to train some girls and then i probably didnt do a great job and they didnt listen. they say my job now is somewhat authority and im like...... ok...... 

77. Have you ever drank underage?

no

78. Have you ever done drugs?

no

79. Who was your first real crush?

someone whos OUTTA MY LIFE

80. How many piercings do you have?

two? i got them pierecd at claires lmao and i didnt get an infection because im  so salty. then i took them out because they were from claries

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

hell yes

82. How fast can you type?

so fucking fast. faster than my work finder helper. im fast im very fast

83. How fast can you run?

IM VERY FAST

84. What color is your hair?

orange

85. What color is your eyes?

green

86. What are you allergic to?

im still trying to figure that out. whatever it is gives me hives

87. Do you keep a journal?

yes. so i can get better at handwriting and just talking in general and hear what my voice sounds like. and to have a space away from other peoples needs and pressures

88. What do your parents do?

my mom is a stay at home mom and my dad shoots pop bottles into the sky

89. Do you like your age?

sure

90. What makes you angry?

everything. cabbage. i swore about cabbage for a long time the other day. i am just full of anger. 

91. Do you like your own name?

YES. i mean i chose it i better. honestly my first name ......... i feel self conscious about it sometimes. i think it was the only name for me though. it wasnt the ideal most wonderful namei could find because those didnt fit, it was MY name.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

im going to have two sons and im naming them brick and rusty.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

yeah, i want a boy a girl

94. What are you strengths?

my strengths doing all 100 questions, this is serious muscles

95. What are your weaknesses?

the exhaustion of jumping from one question to the next especially when they are vague. im not complaining this was my idea

96. How did you get your name?

i pfound it in the baby name book and i was lie  “hey yyy, i saw that name in black beauty, lets use it for my gay coded villain what the hell!”

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

no but i did have some ancestors who lives i a mansions andhad fucking SERVANTS. before you call me problematic my other part of family was like sewing things and not going to school 

98. Do you have any scars?

weve been over this. when im older im going to get a cool scar fighting a dragon

99. Color of your bedspread?

pink, white, blue

100. Color of your room?

white

[meginoi]

37, 31, 1, 44, princiety, bonus if the other two are not there and are worried about them killing each other and it’s just a whole fest with candles and Christmas chocolate etc.

This got really, really long because it inspired me so have a New Years fic. I hope it’s okay. For those who don’t know, Auld Lang Syne is a poem that is sung on New Year’s Eve around the world. Happy New Years Eve, everyone!

1 - “It’s almost midnight!”31 -  “So, we’re kind of snowed in.”37 - “You didn’t think I’d let you spend Christmas alone, did you?”44 - “You’ve never had a New Year’s kiss?”

Pairing: Prinxiety

Warnings: self-depreciating thoughts

Words: 2508

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TheChristmas lights glowed softly in the dying light of the day. Their cheerfulatmosphere  quickly waning with each daythat passed. The New Year was rapidly approaching, bringing with it theoverwhelming prospect of New Years resolutions, returning to work and anotherNew Year’s Eve that he’d be spending alone.

Virgil sighed and shifted inhis seat, careful not to spill his hot chocolate in the process. This Christmashad been one of the better ones, one in a long line of many that had beenslowly getting better since he’d met Patton, Logan and Roman. He’d spent theday with his friends, laughing and opening presents.

But, of course, it couldnever last. He had trudged back home as the day slowly darkened and gave way tothe night. The following days had flown by in a blur of Christmas movies andfood. What better way to spend those days between Christmas and New Years?

And so Virgil sat, curled upon the corner of the sofa, that he’d dragged around so it faced the bay window,watching as the snow slowly fell from the dull, grey sky and landed on thestreet below. It would have been nice to not spend New Years alone but who washe to complain? They were probably sick of him, Christmas Day was more thanenough for them to get sick of his presence-

A knock at the door flung himback into reality. Who would be knocking at his door on Christmas Eve? Everyonehe knew was either planning to spend New Years with their loved ones or getdrunk out of their minds. The former he didn’t have and the latter didn’tappeal to him.

He stood and quickly made hisway down the narrow staircase and hallway to the door, steeling himself to seeeither an odd salesman who worked on New Year’s Eve or a neighbour who had ranout of something and was counting on him to be hospitable enough to save a NewYears party he hadn’t even been invited to.

 Never did he expect to seeRoman standing on his doorstep, cold and covered in snow but joyfulnonetheless.

 “Roman?” He started, “whatare you doing here?”

“You didn’t think I’d let you spend Christmasalone, did you?” Roman exclaimed.

“But…it’s New Year’s Eve. Christmasis over.”

“Nonsense! We still haveanother…” he pulled his sleeve back and glanced down at his watch, “4 hoursuntil Christmas is over!”

Virgil sighed and glanceddown at his feet before looking back up to face the man in front of him again.“I suppose you better come in before you freeze to death, then.”

Roman beamed that smile ofhis that made butterflies erupt in Virgil’s stomach and stepped inside,stamping the snow off his boots in the hallway. He shedded his coat and hung iton a hook next to Virgil’s own, a sight that made a blush rise of Virgil’scheeks…he could easily blame that reaction on the cold.

“I thought you had planstonight?” Virgil called from the kitchen as he poured hot water into two mugs,the sweet smell of the hot chocolate quickly filling the small kitchen. The guyhad trekked through the snow to see him, the least he could do was try and makesome casual conversation. 

“I did, but they cancelled,” Romansighed, settling into the end of the sofa opposite to the one he knew Virgilalways sat in. 

“And that’s why you trekkedthrough this blizzard to see me?” Virgil countered. Roman could have easilyjust stayed at home, where it was warm and safe. So what possessed him to walkacross town to see him? Virgil couldn’t understand it.

“Good question, my friend!You see, Patton and Logan have their own plans and I couldn’t let you spend therun up to New Years alone if I was available could I? That would be absolutelyheinous of me! I may have also not wanted to spend New Years alone,” Romanexplained, his voice dropping to a low mumble at the end.  

Virgil chuckled dryly as hecarried the two mugs into the front room, handing one to Roman before sittingdown with his own. The snow was still falling heavily, the wind whipping it upinto a frenzy before letting it settle on the ground. “I guess I should thankyou then, for your selfless actions,” Virgil quipped.

“No, no thanks is necessary,”Roman smiled, letting the drink quickly thaw his cold hands. They idly chattedfor the next hour, talking about everything from Christmas to Roman’s next bigaudition he had been preparing for months for.

“Yes, the play is simplyamazing! It’s about-“ his sentence died in his throat as the first fireworksstarted to light up the sky. Every colour imaginable exploded and flew throughthe air, like paint splatters on a black background. The snow had stoppedfalling but had left a thick blanket of white that covered everything, makingit hard to differentiate the road from the pedestrian path. 

Roman leaned forward andchecked his watch with wide eyes. An hour until midnight. He turned to faceVirgil and cleared his throat. “I better get going. I should get home beforemidnight if I want to avoid the New Years crowds.” 

‘He could always stay here.’ Virgil’s brain supplied. He stood and turned to facethe window in a panic filled attempt to hide his rapidly rising blush.“R-right. I’ll see you out.” 

Roman shrugged his coatbefore pulling on his gloves and wrapping his scarf around his neck. “Thank youfor your company tonight, Virgil. Have a good new year.”

“Thanks, Ro. You too,” Virgillet a slight smile slip onto his face. But as soon as Roman turned to leave, hefelt his stomach drop. He really didn’t want Roman to go.

But as soon as he opened thefont door and cold air swept into the hallway, he stopped, staring at somethingthat went unseen by Virgil.

Then, much to Virgil’s shockand confusion, Roman shut the door and turned back to face him. “I’m afraid wemay have each other’s company for a while longer. It seems we’re snowed in.”

Virgil stepped around Roman,who was taking his coat off again, and opened the door. Roman was right, thesnow came up to Virgil’s knee, the product of a weeks worth of steadily fallingsnow. Virgil sighed and slammed the door shut.

“Won’t Patton and Logan beable to help. Can’t they come dig us out of something,” Virgil asked, his voiceraising in annoyance, no matter what he felt for Roman he couldn’t let hispersona slip. He may have looked annoyed but on the inside the butterflies hadreturned, and they were jumping for joy. 

Roman shook his head. I don’teven think they’d answer. They’re probably making out or something by now.” 

Virgil felt his blush darkenat the image Roman’s words bought but he quickly pushed the thought aside,choosing to focus on the situation at hand. “I guess you’ll have to stay the nightthen,” Virgil stated, leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms. 

“If it’s not too muchtrouble,” Roman smiled, handing reach up to awkwardly rub at the back of hisneck. 

“Well I can’t throw yououtside to freeze to death can I?” Virgil quipped, walking back into the livingroom and falling back into the seat that had been his for the past few hours.

They watched the earlyfireworks with a mix of excitement and nostalgia, recalling Christmases and NewYears of years past. Looking upon the first one they had all spent togetherwith an extra sense of warmth the memory bought.

“Ah, I remember that year itwas-“ Roman’s sentence died in his throat as they were plunged into darkness,the only light coming from the harsh light of the streetlights outside. Virgilstood before grabbing his phone and letting the built-in torch light up theroom.  

“It’s just a power cut,” Virgilsighed after checking the electrics. “It must be the snow.” 

“Oh, what a fiend! Trying toruin the New Years cele-“ Roman exclaimed but was abruptly cut off as Virgilraised a hand to silence him. Virgil disappeared into the kitchen, reappearinga few moments later with a box of chocolates and some candles that were stackedprecariously on top. 

“These should do until thepower comes back on,” Virgil mumbled as he lit three candles and placed them onthe ledge that jutted out of the window in front of them. He flitted to thefire that sat below the wall mounted tv, and lit it. Within a few minutes, itwas crackling merrily behind them, casting a soft, flickering glow as thewarmth seeped into their bones.

“And what’s the chocolatefor?” Roman asked, grabbing the blanket that was draped over the back of the sofa,wrapping it around himself.

“Can’t watch a show withoutsome treats can you?” Virgil smirked, popping open the lid of the box ofcelebrations and unwrapping a malteaser. Roman grinned and did the same,leaving the galaxy wrapper on the ledge. He glanced down at his watch andgrinned, eyes that were sparkling with excitement rising to meet Virgil’s.

“Fifteen minutes,” Romanbeamed. Virgil smiled at the other’s excitement, shifting in his seat to faceRoman.

“Y’know, I never understood what’sso great about a New Years kiss. It’s just another kiss, right?” Virgilrambled, his mouth running faster than his mouth. As his thoughts caught up, heslapped a hand over his mouth eyes widening as he realised what he said.

Roman’s expression morphedfrom relaxed to one of shock. “How can you not understand?” He asked.

“I don’t know, I just don’tunderstand,” Virgil replied, hesitantly dropping his hand from his mouth. 

“It’s about the build-up. Theway the new year is welcomed in with an act of love with one of the mostimportant people in your life. It’s magical!” Roman gushed, caught up in hisown fantasies. As his words died in the air, his expression of happiness fadedinto one of concern.

Virgil looked anything buthappy. His eyes had become cold, his mouth pulled into a thin line thatradiated discomfort (or was it loneliness?)

“Virgil,” Roman started,“have you ever had a New Years kiss?”

There was silence for amoment before Virgil whispered ‘no’. It was barely loud enough to be heard butboth of them felt like it filled the room.

And Roman, in the soft glowof the fire, knew exactly what to do. He became serious, sitting up in his seatas he toyed with the edge of one of the sleeves of his sweater. “I suppose Ishould get my New Years resolution over and done with. Best to start early,” hechuckled to himself before it quickly died and silence overtook them again.

Virgil was staring at him, aquestioning look in his eyes. “What’s your New Years resolution?”

Roman sighed and steeledhimself, opening his mouth to say the words he’d been mentally planning allnight long. “I had planned to call you but this amazing twist of fate bought mehere instead, so I guess I’ll just tell you. It’s to tell you how I feel. Totell you how my heart starts to beat faster every time you walk in the room. Totell you about how your smile sets off butterflies in my stomach and makes mefeel lighter. How I can’t stop grinning when I think about you. How I can’t getyou off my mind even when you’re not there. To tell you about how I’ve beenthinking about how to say this all night and how I walked here to do it inperson when I had the opportunity. To tell you how much I like you and how I maybe in love with you before I lose my chance. Please don’t feel like you need tosay anything. I just needed to tell y-“ 

On the first chime ofmidnight, Virgil leaned forward and kissed Roman. Fireworks exploded behindthem, the colours shooting across the sky went unnoticed by both of them.Virgil’s hand rested on either side of Roman’s face, gently caressing the skinthere with his thumb, while Roman’s hands found their way to Virgil’s waist.

Virgil was the first to pullaway, high on the euphoria running through his veins from both Roman’sconfession and the kiss. 

“I take it you feel the sameway?” Roman asked, slightly breathless.

“Maybe just a little,” Virgiljoked, standing to sit closer to Roman. He curled his leg up under himself andrested his head on Roman’s chest. “Is this okay?” He asked, ready to flinghimself back to the other end of the sofa at a moment’s notice.

“It’s more than okay,” Romanreplied, wrapping an arm around him and planting a kiss on the top of Virgil’shead.  The chimes were still sounding,the deep vibrations carrying easily through the walls. Roman looked out at theview, softly starting to sing the same song he did every year on New Year’sEve.

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and never brought to mind?

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,

for auld lang syne,

we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

Virgil smiled as herecognised the familiar tune, burrowing deeper against Roman. He softly joinedin, his own, quieter voice mixing with Roman’s now louder, more confident one.

And surely you'll buy your pint cup!

and surely I'll buy mine!

And we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

 We two have runabout the slopes,

and picked the daisies fine;

But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,

since auld lang syne.

 We two have paddled in the stream,

from morning sun till dine;

But seas between us broad have roared

since auld lang syne.

Virgil let his voice fadeinto silence as Roman finished the song, his voice a mix of joy, nostalgia forthe year gone and excitement for the year to come. As the last verse started todrift through the air, he gently took hold of Virgil’s hand, intertwining theirfingers.

And there’s a hand my trusty friend!

And give me a hand o’ thine!

And we'll take aright good-will draught,

for auld lang syne.

As the last line fadedinto silence, so did the chimes of the clock in the town square. The fireworkswere still sounding, loud bangs and high pitched twirls that could sometimesonly be heard, not seen, they would be sounding for a few more hours yet.

“Happy New Year,” Romansmiled, looking down at Virgil.

“Happy New Year,” Virgilreplied, glancing up at Roman before surging upwards and kissing him again.

Yeah, twenty-eighteen wasgoing to be a great year.

[surveysonfleek]

072.

Was your ex cute? of course.

Do you have a taste in your mouth right now? What of? nothing lol.

Which is your least favorite day of the week? any day where i have to work haha.

Do you ever write or talk to yourself in your head when you’re bored? i’ll think through my thoughts i guess.

Do you prefer listening to things through headphones or speakers? speakers.

What was the very first CD you bought? ummmm probably britney.

What was your favorite colour when you were a kid? Do you still like it? i honestly forgot. i think it was blue.

Do you like your friend’s parents? i do, especially those that i’ve known for a long time. haven’t really gotten to know any of my new friends’ parents.

How many times have you moved? four times but i’ve been in the same house since i was 8.

What is one of your biggest irrational fears? cockroaches. i just can’t explain it, i hate them.

Does the thought of being pregnant gross you out? it doesn’t gross me out but i’d definitely be a bit anxious for the whole process. 

Are you more hungry or thirsty right now? neither, i had a huge dinner.

Are you prone to headaches? i never get headaches, so when i do, it’s like the end of the world lol.

What color shirt are you wearing? white.

Have you ever felt like someone of the opposite sex truly cared about you? yes.

Would you rather kiss someone five years older or five years younger? older.

Are you a mean person? mean spirited but not a mean person lol.

Is there anything you want tattooed? nah.

What are you listening to right now? nothing.

Think back to yesterday, what were you doing around this time? doing my nails i think.

Have you ever fallen asleep in the last car you were in? no, it’s my car lol.

Have you ever been cheated on? no.

What’s something you do every day besides breathing, eating, and sleeping? the usuals on a smartphone. fb, instagram, twitter, games.

What’s the nearest blinking object to you? my eyes?

What were you for Halloween last year? a cat. had a party that was super last minute and couldn’t be bothered to put any thought into a costume.

Don’t you need to charge your phone right now? probably.

When’s the last time you laughed really hard? today.

When’s the last time you cried really hard? over a week ago.

Do you believe that karma can come back and slap you in the face? probably.

Are you currently trying to avoid somebody? nah.

Are you feeling guilty for something? yes.

When you’re sad, who/what usually cheers you up? sleep or watching funny shows.

What was the last thing you bought? petrol.

Do you own suspenders? no.

Are your nails/toes painted? yes.

Are you usually quiet or loud? i’m a loud person in general but if i’m not comfortable around you i’ll just stick to myself.

Do you ever check your horoscope? no.

What color is your microwave? black.

What was the last thing you ate? roast and veggies. so good.

Do you talk to people even though you hate them? nah.

Name something you have always wanted and never got. nike vapormax, the rainbow ones. i’ll never get them ever.

When was the last time you went outside? just then.

How many hours do you spend on the computer a day? maybe 2 or more haha.

Do you have any siblings? a sister.

Do you know someone named Curt? nope.

Have you ever been to Texas? no.

Do you have an alarm clock? my phone.

Can you play the piano? i was super into it as a kid and i just never got past reading music sheets well. i was only good at memorizing pieces.

Do you go to church? no.

What color was the cup that you last drank out of? a water bottle.

What is the show that you watched when you were little, and you still do? none. too lazy to watch the simpsons anymore but i still enjoy it.

Do you have shoes on? no.

Do you have a printer? yes.

Do you read the paper? no.

Do you have a swingset? i used to as a kid.

What is something you do every summer? complain about the heat.

Do you have a job? yes.

Do your siblings text you? yes.

Do you tend to make things complicated? nah.

Do you want a small or big wedding? i don’t know. my boyfriend has a huge family so if we end up together that’ll definitely cause some issues on who to invite. i honestly don’t want to invite anyone that i don’t know.

Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth? of course, it was one of the first things everyone did when it came out.

Would you rather have cash or a gift card? cash duh.

Did your last kiss end up with you and the person doing anything sexual? it was a goodbye kiss.

Do you live near a beach or amusement park? an hour away.

Who is your ex dating/talking to? idk.

Do you have your eye on anyone at the current moment? just my boyfriend.

Ever been called a bitch? yes.

Who would you be shocked to see call you? haha anyone at this time of night.

If you could drink only 2 things for the rest of your life, what would it be? water and bubble tea.

Would you date someone taller than you? yes.

Have you met anyone that has been a major influence on you this year? nah.

Ever kissed someone who smokes? yes.

Have any interesting conversations lately? no.

If your friends warn you about someone you like, do you listen? i take it into consideration, i’m always open to hearing other people’s opinions as long as they aren’t preachy.

Who did you last pinky promise with? i forgot lol.

What do you do when you’re having a bad day? sleep it off.

Does it take a lot for someone to annoy you? nah.

Do you own your own computer? yes.

Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? no.

What happened at the last party you went to? ate, drank, danced.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? yes.

What’s your hair like at this present moment? it’s in a loose bun so my hair is wavy when i take it out tomorrow.

What’s the worst film you’ve ever seen? there’s been plenty.

Do you like to flex your muscles? lol what muscles.

Have you ever completely misunderstood what somebody was saying? yes.

Favorite kind of cake: anything with nutella. or honestly any moist cakes.

Did you get any compliments today? no.

How old is the last person you kissed? 26.

Why did you kiss the person you last kissed? he’s my boyfriend.

Do you have any fears? yes.

What’s your sign? sagittarius.

What is your favorite color? pink and turquoise.

Are you a procrastinator or do you get things done early? i’m a bit of both. i’ll do half the things i need to do early and leave the rest until last minute.

Are your parents going to buy you a car? they did when i was in highschool.

[myhandshurtfromwriting]

Rot

Some kids learn about death early on in their life, like my nieces, who were both 6 and 3 when their live-in grandfather died and had the funeral and everything done in their home. I’d say they took it quite impressively for such small children; they understood what happened and accepted it as a norm of life. They have great parents and great upbringings, so I wasn’t surprised to see them being so bright about it. 

My experience on the other hand, was quite vivid. Death was never really a topic heavily discussed when I was a small child, and although I know what death is, I’ve never really given much thought about it, and for my brain at the time, death was something known, but completely unfamiliar. I grew up as a happy, cheerful kid who’s often quite bossy and annoying at times. Black wasn’t a colour I’d even notice to exist. Everything was bright, rainbows and sunshine for the young me. Even when I had a near death experience several times as a kid, I never really remembered it from my own memory because everything I’ve ever remembered from my childhood were all sheltered from the harsh reality. I don’t know who sheltered it, but it was probably my own subconscious who layers and filters everything on it’s own. All in all, I was truly a  Little Miss Sunshine.

Before we dwell deeper, let me tell you about Nenek. 

At the front row of our unit, there was an old lady who lives alone. She was there even before I was born, and occasionally, my mother being the concerned friendly neighborhood lady she was, visits her from time to time. When she’s bored she too would come to our unit to chat. She was quite short, hunched, but with fair skin and large eyes. Even as a child, I could tell that Nenek was a beauty during her prime. But she had a set of dentures she almost never wore because she just leaves it at random places in her house, and she had always smelled quite nice for someone so old. I think she was about 90-ish when I was 9. She had a decent view from her unit, and she had a set of those reflexology hot stones (IDK what it’s called in English, but it’s tungku kaki) which I had always love to use when we visit her. I remembered she had very few furnitures in her house. Her floors are covered in mint green rubber mat, she had a set of rattan seats and a standing fan, a set of dining chairs, and almost always, she would lay out her bedak sejuk to dry in the sun on her balcony. She had hypertension, but was never really sick until she has to be hospitalized or got bedridden. She hates cats, and has this wire fence on her door grill to prevent cats from getting in. She loves to gossip too, and tell stories to my mother, but I was too young to even pay attention to anything she had said. Seriously I couldn’t remember a thing. 

What I do remember tho was that she was lonely. Nobody ever visited her, and at one point, she visited us and stayed for too long until mom complained to me that she gets sleepy and tired from hearing her long tales. I think mom was just accompanying her for friendly gestures sometimes, because maybe she felt sorry that nobody ever talks to this old lady. Nobody, not even her own neighbors. She had a bit of a reputation for being quite angsty about the littlest things, but to my mom, she was nice. She never really paid any attention to me though, I was just this child who were there because my mom couldn’t just leave me at home alone. 

I don’t remember how long it was since she last visited or when mom last visited, but I think it was about 3 or 5 days? But I remembered it was past 3PM. Mom and I goes to her unit, and the 10ish year old me dragged the neighbor’s kid who was probably 3 or 4 at the time because I need a playmate to keep me from boredom while mom is chatting away with Nenek. So anyway here we were standing in front of her unit while mom is knocking; no answers. I don’t remember if mom went home and fetched Nenek’s spare keys that she had left with us (mom kept spare keys for the neighbors closest to our family), or did she simply pushed the door open because it was unlocked. I don’t know how the door got opened exactly, but I very much remembered what happened next.

A burst of odour came towards us. I was a kid and I didn’t know exactly what that smell was, and it was the first time I had smelled something like this. (I was a city kid, so encounters with wild animals or anything un-urban was quite scarce). It was hard to describe it at that time, but I didn’t close my nose or turned my face away. My brain is processing this smell. It was overwhelming at first, and then slowly dissipates away. I remembered my mom panicking, trying to shut the door behind her and get us, the kids, to look away and stand further back, but I caught a glimpse of Nenek. 

She was sitting in her favourite spot on the rattan chair, upright, but head slightly tilted to the side. She was wearing her pale pink kurung kedah with tiny patterned flowers all over it. She had placed a faded napkin over her shoulder. Her eyes was closed. There was blood coming out of her ears and nose. Her mouth is slightly opened with the bottom lips very slightly protruded from the top, with her yellowed bottom teeth slightly visible. The windows of the balcony was partially closed, and the sun was peeking through the gaps into the living room. 

That’s when it strucks me. Nenek has died, alone in her home. For days. 

Mom sent me and the neighbor’s kid to sit in that neighbor’s home for a bit. She made phone calls and talked to my neighbor. I sat there in the kid’s living room, telling him. “Wan, nenek dah mati.” I think he probably doesn’t understand what I just said and asked me what happened. I just hugged him and said “Dah mati. Nenek dah takde.” He didn’t see what I saw because he was away from the door when it opened. We sat in the living room queitly while the adults went frantic. Wan was sat there watching telly. Neighbors starts talking louder and more people came out of their units. I think I sat there for an hour until mom came and picked me up to go home since it’s already dusk. I remembered her holding my shoulder while we walk, as I took a peek towards Nenek’s unit just before I step into my house. Yellow police tape were all over Nenek’s grill gate, and a few police officers were talking to the other neighbors. Mom gently pushes my head to look away and into our house. I had my dinner and probably watched some TV shows. Mom had gone out again and she came back again probably at 8PM. She made me take a shower and stay with dad while she went away. I fell asleep at 9, after she came back home. I don’t remember her talking to me about the incident right after. Maybe she had, and I don’t remember because I was sleepy. But I didn’t remember anything about the aftermath. There was no trauma or nightmares and life goes on as usual. Nenek’s unit stayed empty for several months until her distant relatives moved in. In that entire period, whenever I go down the staircase near Nenek’s house, I never thought of what I saw or get scared to get near her unit. I never went back there though, not until we officially visit Nenek’s relative who has just moved in. When I came back inside, the mint green rubber mats were gone, the rattan chair too were gone. But the dining table and chairs were still there. The house was short of Nenek’s furniture, and looked vastly empty. I didn’t feel nostalgic nor sad. I didn’t feel anything. I understood what had just happened, yet I felt nothing.

In fair judgement, I wasn’t really that close to Nenek in the first place. Yes she was kind, but not really someone I’m attached to. It’s just that now when I’m all grown up and think about it, I felt that the whole situation was even more dim than what I remembered. She lived alone, and died alone. I never knew what happened of her and her families. I never knew if she had any husband or children. I never really knew who she really was at all. It was kind of a sad story. But I wasn’t traumatized about death or dead corpses or anything. It just made me realize how mortal I was and how everything I knew would come to an end. It was a bit of an existential awakening to be honest. I think about death a lot after that. I started noticing things that were grim and dark, when previously those things were probably nonexistent in my childish mind. I look at sad looking people and wonder if they’re lonely. I started to like dark colours, and black, most prominently. I started wearing black clothes when my favourite color used to be blue. It wasn’t a transition to an emo phase, or a goth phase. I don’t know what it was, but what I can be certain of, is that from that point onwards, something inside me has changed. It wasn’t drastic or traumatic or even  psychotic. It’s just... like a veil has been lifted. I wasn’t seeing the world with just sunshine tinted glasses anymore.