#like i cant watch any road trip movies without being like | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mikanotes · 3 years ago

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— don’t care just missed you

cheong-san x gn!reader | 3.4k words

genre: horror, angst, comfort, then fluff

warnings: swearing, canon-divergence, blood, injury (eye injury), implied cannibalism (technically, he’s half human and half zombie), mentions of death, suicidal ideation, and anxiety. aouad stuff basically.

synopsis: being a shut-in introvert with no interest in spending time with people or going outside was something people weren’t exactly fond of. it turned out to be the best thing in your life when a virus broke out in the school near your house. OR you love cheongsan and don’t care that he barges into your house with a zombie bite on his arm.

a/n: so i just finished all of us are dead and. i’m upset LMFAO i know i said i was taking a break but the end with cheongsan’s implied death(?) made me so upset i wanted to write for him also i. cant find gifs for him

The living room was dark. As was the rest of the world. Or well, maybe saying the world in its entirety would be an exaggeration. The world was dark for the people of Hyosan.

You stared at your laptop screen— the only source of light in your house, currently—, clicking your tongue rhythmically as you stared at your wallpaper. On your toolbar, several old internet browser tabs were open. Social medias and such, platforms with information on what was going on. All refreshed and now gone.

The word was everywhere: zombies. A zombie apocalypse that had started spreading so fast one could compare the city’s situation to the famous movie Train to Busan. Before you could get any more useful information, networks had shut down entirely.

Of course. A classic move. “So misinformation won’t spread” was what the higher-ups of the military had told on TV. But you knew what this meant. Cutting off communications was dangerous, even more so in a city that slowly started to break down under the pressure of some unknown virus that turned people into literal zombies. Not only that, but their means of stopping the spreading of misinformation meant that they stopped the spreading of information in general. Without being in direct contact with what was going on… You couldn’t know anything.

Like, genuinely.

You lived in a small, humble house lodged in the middle of the forest. Your parents owned it and were always on trips. They’d told you you could live there if you wanted since they were almost never home, saying that the house was supposed to be yours when you’d be an adult, but that it worked either way. You’d taken up on the offer with joy, around the end of middle school. No one but your family and close friends knew you lived there. Needless to day you were a bit cut off from everyone else. You liked being alone, and having an entire house (even if a bit small) to yourself. It was nice.

You’d dropped out of school mid-year, leaving your close friends surprised and pleading you to stay. But you’d told yourself that social life wasn’t really for you, and much less the restrictions of the educational system when you were forced to attend school five days out of seven in a week. So you’d shut yourself in your house. You were fine with it, really. You liked it more than going out every other day. You had food stored for months, and you weren’t that far from the city. So if you needed more you could just go to the nearest road, take a taxi, and take a trip to the grocery store to stock up. So you were fine.

Nevertheless, it seemed people naturally craved for the presence of other people. Recently, watching slice-of-life animes during your breaks from homeschool had got you craving for the thrill of a typical “normal teenage life”. And you missed your friends. You wanted to run out school laughing with them, you wanted to go out for ice-cream on sunny, hot days. You wanted to pass notes with them during classes and get detention afterwards. You wanted to buy stuff at the vending machine as you spoke with your classmates.

But you’d chosen the life of someone who stayed inside.

And this choice had turned out to be the best one you’d made in your life when the news of a virus outbreak in your city, and in your former high school especially, had broke out. You were happy. Gleeful, really. You’d just escaped what could’ve been hell on Earth, while simply sitting peacefully at home. And with the ongoing crisis, you’d be excused for any homework and assignments you’d miss. So this was fine. It was even good!

Until you’d look away from your laptop screen and face reality again. You’d swallow thickly, frowning. The old name tag on your desk was something that usually brought you comfort, yet lately it did nothing but worry you.

Lee Cheongsan.

If the school was the epicenter of the virus, then he was in danger. Who knows, maybe he’d even turned already. The thought of your best friend… No, the person you loved turning into a zombie was unpleasant, to say the least. So much that every time it crossed your mind, you had to fight the impulsive urge to run out of your house and to the school. You didn’t live far from the school, so it would be fine. But still. It was careless and impulsive, so you always refrained.

But you were scared. And you missed him.

You missed the texts he would send you saying your empty seat in class made his heart ache in a dramatic way, before insulting you for saying he was dramatic. You missed his smile when you’d open the door every time he’d come to see you. You missed his hugs. The way he held your hand when you were anxious. You missed your childhood days with him, you missed the teenage ones that you’d barely had the chance to experience. You missed going to his family’s restaurant when he managed to get you to leave the house. You missed studying with him. You missed taking pictures with him that he’d purposefully try to make blurry. You missed him.

And after several days of zoning out entirely, loud knocking brought you out of that daze you were in. You were scared shitless, to say the least. Just a while ago you’d heard announcements about explosions that would happen around the city, and in the school in particular. You’d sat there, unmoving as the image of Cheongsan and your friends drenched in blood and dead on the ground plagued your anxious mind. You didn’t want to leave for the safe-place the military kept talking about. When they’d come to your house, you’d grabbed every belonging you’d used recently and ran straight to the basement, hiding there and staying as quiet as possible in hopes that they’d deem this house abandoned. Your safe place was obviously your house. So you would stay. You were almost certain the explosions wouldn’t reach it. And even if they did, so what?

You didn’t really… feel like living that much anymore. While you knew Cheongsan was someone who was strong and smart, you were still almost certain he could be dead. And you loved him. And he loved you. You both knew. So why would you want to live if the one you loved was dead?

The point was that irritatingly loud knocking brought you out of that train of thoughts. You picked up the knife on your table and carefully walked over to the door.

The military again? Maybe this time you should answer, you thought. But you couldn’t be sure. And you didn’t have a view on who was outside. You had to at least walk over there and—

“[name]!” a familiar voice yelled outside. And you froze, and dropped the knife. Because what else could you do? — “It’s me. It’s Cheongsan. Are you there?”

Then you ran and opened the door.

There he was. He looked exhausted. His features were painted with red, and one of his eyes was… weirdly bloody. The veins around it were prominent and visible, almost zombie-like. He was panting, a hand holding the side of your doorframe. You noticed that, besides the blood all over his clothes, a part of his sleeve was torn— Like someone, or something, had bit his arm.

You grabbed his collar and yanked him inside your house. You closed the door and locked it back to the way it was before, before turning around abruptly. “Cheongsan.”

“I’m… I can’t stay here.” he said, before opening his mouth but hesitating. He took a deep breath. “I was bitten by… Someone who’s kind of a zombie. But not really. I think I’ll turn soon.”

Then why did you come? you thought. You didn’t care. You didn’t care if he would turn while locked in the same room as you. Honestly, you’d prefer it if he turned with you around. So you could die together. But Cheongsan cared. He would never want to put you in this kind of danger. So why was he here?

Oh. You understood.

“I just wanted to say goodbye.” he said, and you knew. You felt your throat burn and noticed with how much difficulty he gulped. His eye was red, like he wanted to cry. You both wanted to cry. He didn’t wanna say goodbye. You wouldn’t let him say goodbye.

Before you could say anything, he grabbed the sides of your arms and pulled you towards him. He planted his lips on yours in a short, desperate kiss. You wanted it to last, you wanted it to last so long you’d die. You didn’t want him to speak. You didn’t want him to say that he was sorry and he should leave. You didn’t want him to say he loved you like it was the last time he’d be able to. But he pulled away and looked at you, sad.

“I should leave. I’m sorry. I love you.”

It was Cheongsan. Of course he’d say it. You grabbed his wrist and held it tight. It was warm, his skin. Not much like a zombie, much more like him. You’d missed the feel of it. “You shouldn’t have come here.”

He looked away.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m leaving, now.”

“No, you’re not.”

You suddenly moved towards the living room, pulling him along, before pulling him in front of you and holding him in place. “You’re not leaving this damn place, Lee Cheongsan.”

“No, I have to. [name], I’m gonna turn—”

“Does it look like I give a fuck? Look me in my eye and tell me if it looks like I fucking care, Cheongsan.” you said sternly, before coughing out a bitter laugh. “I’m selfish, so you’re staying. I haven’t seen you in way too long. I spent hours worrying about wether or not you were alive. Now that I know you are, I’ll spend all the time we have left with you. Zombie or not. You’re staying here.”

He must’ve felt there was no point in arguing, because he frowned, then sighed, and lowered his arms. He bit his lip and slowly nodded. There were tears at the corner of his eye. You glanced at the injured one and instinctively moved your gaze away.

“Doesn’t it hurt?”

“Kind of.”

You couldn’t help how upset your expression was in this moment. You didn’t like seeing him in pain. You were certain he’d gone through far worse pains during the time you weren’t in contact but it still made you worry. His hands twitched at his sides.

“I’m gonna turn.” he said quietly. You nodded, only bringing him closer. You wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Yeah.”

“I might kill you.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I don’t want to kill you.”

“Then you won’t.”

You weren’t pretending. You weren’t scared. You’d sort of given up on the idea of being scared of zombies, at this point. People themselves could be considered scarier, anyway. And this was the person closest to you. The person you’d put above everyone else. This was Lee Cheongsan. And maybe it was wishful thinking, but you strongly believed he wouldn’t hurt you. Or that at least, he wouldn’t kill you. You didn’t know how the virus worked, considering how little information you had access to, but if there was a way for him not to turn completely, it would happen. After all, he hadn’t told you he was bitten by an actual zombie. From what he said, it seemed like your theory was plausible, and that the boy could very well stay at least half human.

You felt his muscles twitch under your embrace, his back stretching and him wincing. His jaw was tense, as was every muscle in his body. He groaned in pain and you felt his hands grab the hem of your shirt and tighten around the fabric. He wanted to get away from you— You wouldn’t let him. His body contorted to the best of its ability while stuck in your arms, before falling completely limp against your hold. You lost balance due to the sudden shift in weight and fell on the floor with a yell.

It hurt your head and for a moment your attention was elsewhere, as you winced in pain. You huffed and looked up. The ceiling. Then you looked down. Under your chin, Cheongsan’s head. And… All over you… Well, Cheongsan. He was completely unmoving. His chest was on yours, yet you couldn’t feel his heartbeat. Your fingers touched the side of his neck.

His pulse was there. It was faint, but it was there. That was odd. From what you’d understood, the zombies invading your city were basically dead and the virus was what kept them on their feet. So why… Was he alive?

You stayed like this for a while. Maybe it was a minute, maybe ten. You couldn’t be sure, you’d kind of zoned out. But eventually, you felt him move. He groaned in pain, and then slowly pushed himself off the floor— and, well, you. He was breathing heavily. He was breathing. He looked down at you like he was confused. Otherwise… He looked perfectly fine.

“…[name].”

You didn’t reply. You didn’t need to. He was Cheongsan. There was no doubting it. He wasn’t some undead human-turned-zombie. He wasn’t like the ones you’d seen running in the forest while staring out the window before. He was Cheongsan, with the same gaze you knew.

Except he looked …Hungry. He gulped and panted a little.

“I really want to bite you.”

“Are you certain you haven’t seen anyone walk around there? Someone who looks human? There’s a group of zombies with… Human behavior. We’re looking for them.”

You sighed and leaned against your doorframe. “Listen, Officer. As it happens, I don’t spend my days staring out the window to check if zombies are crawling around. That’s your fucking job to do, not mine. I have studying to do, actually. Exams are coming up. And this is the third time you ask me. Could you tell your team to leave me the fuck alone when you go back? Thanks.”

The cop hesitated before closing his mouth and nodding. “Sorry. Thank you. Have a good day. And if you decide you want to come to the camp, you can contact us—”

“You as well!”

You closed the door with a slam and locked it (out of habit) before heaving a sigh. You were really annoyed, quite frankly. You did have to study, that was right. Since it had been a few months since the explosions in Hyosan, it was not surprising that you’d eventually received an email telling you school had resumed. So the incessant visits from police officers and the military weren’t exactly ideal. It seemed living in a remote area near a place that was literally bombed down, and not having done any effort to leave it or go to the safe zone was considered a bit odd, if not straight-up suspicious. It was understandable, if you were honest. But it didn’t make it any less irritating.

“It’s like you get less and less polite each time they come to ask you questions.” someone said behind you. You sighed and turned around, walking over to your desk and sitting down on the chair.

“Well, obviously.” you exhaled, stretching your arms in front of you. “I’m not exactly free.”

You looked over your shoulder to see Cheongsan leaning on the wall next to the hallway and smiling. You grinned and spun in your chair. “What?”

“Nothing. I’m just happy.”

“You’re an idiot.”

You turned back to your desk with a smile as Cheongsan cursed back at you. You heard him laugh and walk over to you, before wrapping his arms around your neck. He set his chin on top of your head and sighed in content.

“I’m gonna go out tonight. Namra told me the fixed dates for “that” were on the last fridays of each month.” he said quietly. You moved your head up right as he did and stared up at him, smiling. You pet the side of his face and he leaned into your palm, a gentle smile on his lips.

“Okay. Take care when you go out.” you said. He nodded.

“I will.”

You stared at him. He was pretty. He was happy. He was better, now. His wounds had healed, and he looked healthier and more well-rested. You stared at him long, and long enough for you to frown. You spun around in your chair to face him and extended your hand towards him. He instinctively leaned down towards you.

You fixed his eyepatch and tutted, shaking your head. “You look like Kaneki Ken, like this.”

He laughed and tilted his head. “Really? I must look pretty cool, then.”

“Yeah.” you sighed, scoffing a little as you leaned back on your chair. “You look like an idiot who selflessly puts others before himself and somehow pulls off cool shit without getting killed. You are pretty similar.”

He lightly hit your arm and laughed, while you smiled. You also have to eat the way he does, is something you both thought but didn’t say. Turns out, he never did bite you. He said he wanted to when he turned, but never did. He always managed not to. Even when you told him it was fine, that you didn’t mind if it helped him stay alive. But he never did. And eventually, he found alternatives— Thanks to Namra, partially. So it was okay.

Now you lived a life as odd as anyone else’s after this crisis. You lived in your remote little house in the forest, hiding your boyfriend-turned-half-zombie while studying for university entrance exams online. Things were weird, but things were good. You preferred them that way. During the past few months, Cheongsan had told you all about what happened at the school. He’d told you about how he wanted to text you the moment everything went down but he was in the cafeteria and his phone wasn’t with him. He told you about everytime he almost died, and every time one of your friends did. He told you he saw him mom. He told you about Onjo’s dad. He told you why he was injured. He told you, because he needed to tell you. He told you because he needed you to know the reason he wanted to cry. And he cried, and so did you. It felt as painful as it felt relieving. Now you knew about what had went down, but you also knew about the deaths of people you loved and cared about. That was a harsh and cold reality that made you cry despite your preparation for it. Nothing could make you emotionless enough not to react to that. Maybe that was a good thing, but it hurt.

During all that time, you got him new clothes. The bloody uniform was getting a little old. Despite the memories it held, he refused to throw it away. You understood. Maybe it was because it held that many memories that he wanted to keep it. So it sat quietly in the middle of his clothes.

He got an eyepatch, too, to cover the scar. He kept going on about how cool he looked and you’d always insult him in return. He couldn’t even put it right, this idiot. It got you smiling.

You and Cheongsan had always loved each other. He’d finally told you when your last day at school came around, giving you his nametag as he cleared his throat and tried to confess. So you gave him yours and only grinned as you left the school. You texted a lot before everything happened. You’d only then realized how lonely you felt without his texts and calls. Your friend texted you too, before. But… Things happened.

Cheongsan asked you out, too. You thought it was dumb, and that you two were practically already dating at this point, anyway. He insisted. So you said yes. It was nice to think about. Cheongsan’s my boyfriend, you’d think, then smile like an idiot. It wasn’t so bad to make it official.

Cheongsan was alright, and so were you. That was all that mattered. Things were okay.

#lee cheongsan x reader #cheongsan x reader #lee cheong san x reader #cheong san x reader #all of us are dead x reader #aouad x reader #x reader

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alwritey-aphrodite · 4 years ago

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should i stay or should i go

Bad Decisions Masterlist

Pairing: Ezra x f!reader

Warnings: cursing, mentions of violence

Word Count: 1.3k

Authors Note: Surprise! I made another au! This time with Ezra! I cant really describe it, but the best way is to call it a modern, road trip au, if that’s even a thing. Anyway, thank you @javisjeanjacket for being so amazing and spectacular and dealing with all my questions (love you!). Here it is, please let me know what y’all think!

“Stupid fucking piece of shit!” You kick against the front wheel of your car, which has yet again decided to stop working. You pop the hood, and almost start to cry when you realize that you have no idea how to fix whatever the issue is. Your car had been with you for over a decade, after saving up for it when you turned 16. And, apparently, it decided the best time to stop working was on your 20 hour drive back to Texas.

Tears of frustration are about to fall when you realize that you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere, Texas, and you most certainly aren’t dressed to wander down a desolate Texas highway.

You mentally start cursing your attire, a knee length floral dress and the nicest pair of sandals you owned. It wasn’t terrible to drive in, but standing on the edge of the highway was a completely different story. You’d only been wearing it for about 6 hours, but now you wished you’d stayed in the comfortable shorts and baggy t-shirt you had been wearing while driving yesterday.

You were driving to see your mom, who’s been lonely ever since your dad had passed and you had moved away. You figured that as her only daughter it was your duty to come home and be with her, at least for a little while. And, at the time, it had seemed like a good idea to show up in one of the dresses she had sent to you, but now you were beating yourself up for that decision.

Texas had always been too stifling to you, with the heat and the barren land and the people who expected too much and too little of you. It was no place to live your dreams, no place to thrive. When you were younger, you had dreamed of going to Hollywood, and becoming an actress, just like the women in the old movies you grew up watching.

And when you realized that that dream was dead before it could live, you set your sights on poetry and drawing and writing. You needed to be known, to be loved, to be appreciated. And you couldn’t do that in your tiny Texas town.

You start cursing out loud when you realize that not only do you not have reception, your cell phone is completely dead. You’re in the middle of spewing out any curse word you can think of in any language you know when a red car pulls over.

Great, just fucking great, you think to yourself, my car breaks down and now I’m going to get murdered. You look over and see a man getting out of the car, so you instinctively wrap your arms around your middle. He starts to walk over to you, and you take in what he’s wearing.

He’s wearing an aggressively yellow t-shirt, with a garish floral patterned button down on top. You look back up to his face, and are met with a pair of aviator sunglasses, which he pushes up to his forehead as he approaches. This draws your attention to his hair, and the blonde patch right by his forehead. He speaks before you have time to look over him anymore.

“Ma’am?” He asks when he’s close enough to speak without yelling, and you take in his accent. He’s obviously from the south, though you’re not quite sure where he’s from, his smooth drawl relaxing you into dropping your arms.

“I’m fine.” You say harshly, wishing he would simply leave you be. You could figure this out by yourself. He raises his hands in surrender, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m sure I can be of some assistance to you.”

“Really, it’s fine.”

There’s a few moments of silence where he simply looks you over, and you feel your heart rate speed up. You realize a second later that he’s looking at the car. If he wanted your dead it would have already happened, you think to yourself, in some strange form of reassurance.

He chuckles, before he says, “I realize just how absurd this situation is, but I can assure you, I wish for nothing but to be of some assistance to you. I’m sure that’s not exactly reassuring coming from a stranger, but if you would prefer, I can drive away and forget you and your plight on the side of the highway.”

“Do you have a phone I could use? Mine’s dead.” You decide to bite the bullet and take him up on his offer for help.

“Of course,” he pulls out his cellphone from his back pocket, and hands it to you. You return it, however, because it’s still locked. He quickly unlocks it and hands it back to you with a grin.

You quickly dial your mom’s number, wanting her to know why you haven’t arrived yet and for her to hopefully send someone to get you.

“Hey mom- of course it’s me, who else calls you mom? My car stopped working- well, I do take care of it, but it’s a piece of shit. Jesus Christ mom, let me finish. It broke down and I’m stranded on a highway, some guy pulled over to help me and let me use his phone. No, he’s not going to kill me.” You lower the phone from your ear and ask the man, “You gonna kill me?”

He chuckles again and shakes his head. “He said no. Anyway, mom- what do I want you to do? I don’t know, I don’t know what to do. Can you please help? Literally anything is better than what I’m doing now. No, mom, I just-“ you sigh as you lower the phone and hand it back to the man.

“She hung up. I’m sorry for troubling you, you can go now.” You see the look on his face, one that seems to be a mix of confusion and pity. “I’m fine,” you reassure him, “I’ll figure something out.”

“I would hate to leave you in such a vulnerable situation. You’re sure there’s absolutely nothing I could do for you? I could simply keep you company. I’ve been told I’m an excellent conversationalist.”

You laugh, before responding, “I’m sure you are,” you pause and furrow your brows, before adding, “but I don’t even know your name.”

“Ezra,” he grins and extends his hand, which you shake while giving him your name. “Ah, a magnificent name for a magnificent person.” You laugh before responding, “You’re quite the charmer, aren’t you?”

He simply winks at you, sending you laughing once again.

“I could always give you a ride, if you’d prefer that to standing out here in this desolate hellscape.”

“Thanks, but my town is super out of the way, you don’t need to do anything else for me.”

“How do you know it’s out of my way? Perhaps it’s my destination as well?”

“Alright, then where are you going?” You inquire with a grin and crossed arms.

“Absolutely nowhere. I’m simply letting life take me where it must. And, now, it’s going to take me to wherever your destination is.”

“Fine. Let me get my stuff first.” As weird as it seemed, you felt safe with Ezra. Sure, he was a stranger, and maybe you were just dumb and drawn to him in some weird way, but he had plenty of opportunities to hurt you or steal from you or do whatever his ulterior motive was.

But he had kept his distance from you, and was nothing but kind to you. And, you wanted to get to know this man with an extensive vocabulary and unplaceable accent. It wouldn’t be so bad to have him drive you the last few hours of your journey.

“Of course.” He takes a few steps back, giving you room to move around your car and take your things. You leave a note on the dashboard and stuff your keys into your pockets. You take your bags from the back, along with a few personal things scattered throughout your car. You have the feeling that you wouldn’t be returning to it anytime soon.

#bad decisions series #ezra (prospect) x reader #ezra x reader #ezra (prospect)#prospect 2018

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freebooter4ever · 3 years ago

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Ref anon: I hope you can get help for that pain. Maybe a nerve is pinched? I'm really not sure about my future. I have a lot of hobbies but just work a shit customer service job. Getting motivation to do drawing at all is difficult let alone animate. Which is a great mental state to be in when my only plan for my whole life since childhood was animation. 🤷‍♀️

its tendonitis and im pretty sure the only way to get rid of it is to take a break from working which is obviously not possible so just gonna ignore it till i die i guess \o/

so yeah you struck a cord with me, this got long...

i cant help with motivation, i have too much of it. i lived with my grandparents for a year while grandpa was sick, and it was the first time they'd ever really seen me /work/ and even they were shocked. it really is constant - if i have twenty minutes and im not using it to draw its wasted time, you know? my first roommate here in LA was concerned too - she kept trying to get me to stop working and go out and back then my excuse was i didnt have a job and no money for going out, but really im just like that all the time. i try to balance it with seeing friends and social media and everyday shit like eating food, but its hard, my favorite people are the ones who will just sit and work with me lol! (or going out and working in places im not alone and quiet). i guess what im saying is...if its really your passion, is it not there all the time? i only ask because it took me a long time to realize that although i loved to analyze animation and watch it - the way i process art doesnt quite have what it takes to do that. we all love the end product, but just because the animation part is the most front facing part...doesn't mean that's necessarily where your actual passion might lie...if that makes sense? there's SO MUCH to do in the animation industry, its crazy. for me, i finally realized that all my obsessive energy revolved around character and especially faces, and i just started focusing on that. i would much rather be concepting a wide variety of characters than spending a whole year animating about one minute of a two hour movie.

that said there's also the sad reality that some people have had doors open more easily than others. i feel you about being stuck in a retail job you feel wasted in :( im sorry you are in that position. i hope you are able to make a change, but i understand just how fucking /trapped/ that can be. watching life slip by into nothingness while the tiny snatches of meaning only happen during off hours and scraped together seconds of free time. one of the biggest ironies though is that this is how a lot of original animators felt about dsn*y. i mentioned that on my road trip i stayed with the son of an animator who worked on snow wh*te - he wasnt one of the 9 old men but he was their contemporary and friend, and the animator took the job just to make money off his art. animation just wasnt his full passion and he eventually quit, moved up north, and started experimenting with helicopters and boe*ng lol.

and in reverse of that, as i grew up with a father and a grandfather who worked for boe*ng and the US space program, ALL my open doors were flight and space related - my cousin currently works for N A S A and my other cousin for boe*ng - they took the doors but i didnt want anything to do with it. it took years for my grandpa to finally come to terms with the fact that my passion for art was as strong as his passion for airplanes. he grew up a farm boy daydreaming about flying, and had to take a circuitous route to finally get there - army, college, mechanical engineering, finally rockets. he gave my dad and me all the chances grandpa would have wanted as a kid - my dad took them - i didnt want any of it. i would much rather have had those chances that the animator got.

and then of course there are the institutionalized gates - barriers against entry for women, minorities, LGBQT, people without money...its a LOT to fight against. which is of course why we celebrate the exceptional people who DO break through those barriers and succeed despite it all. but it can be demoralizing to be on the other side of those barriers. demoralizing is too soft a word. i dont think there is a word for how much it can hurt.

some wisdom that might help: randy pa*usch's last lecture - he is a white male who definitely does not understand the race/sex 'walls', but he makes good points, and also he came at the animation industry sideways for very similar reasons - through education and research rather than the traditional job promotion route. and then someone closer to my own age/time: justin scar*ed - i dont mean his road trip videos, i mean the old vlogs from 3-6 years ago when he was 31 divorced and depressed and realizing he had to release himself from his own pressure of his music career. his quest for positivity is an interesting concept, and i sympathized with that feeling of your life taking a direction you didnt chase after but somehow ends up being the thing you were actually looking for the entire time. if you want a success story there’s always my favorite: steve aok*. he went against everything that was set up for him in life and still made it work ^_^ (of course of these three, guess who also grew up the rich kid lol). or norman re*dus who quite literally accidentally became a model and successful actor. im paraphrasing this horribly, but my impression was that as a teenager he was selling shitty cat paintings on the streets of paris - which sounds romantic but miserable at the same time - and then followed a girl to california, got a crappy job in a motorcycle shop, went to a party and yelled at some people from a balcony, landed his first stage role...and eventually created the character of daryl and finally got the chance to have his genius really shine. (sometimes i wonder though, if it was frustrating to end up being famous for acting rather than art which was arguably his true passion?)

i hope any of this helps, i am pretty exhausted lately so apologies if my sentences are incomprehensible in some parts. and you know, my DMs on here are open if you want to talk more specifically off anon <3

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 4 years ago

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Nicole’s rambling: The Watch Dogs Problem

Hey, welcome to my TedX talk about one of the most ambitious games Ubisoft had ever released... And which, for most of the parts, flopped majestically - yet still has players who love it. One such player am I as well. (And I’m not coming back to the game because Raymond Kenney is my first VG crush, shut the hell up.)

I won't be dipping into the side activities (digital trips) and online mode, because I never clicked with it and I don't know much about these parts. And I don't wanna throw shit at the game because of something I don't know a single thing about. Here are my three biggest negatives in the game and the three biggest positives you should play it for.

Also: remember, this is my opinion and my opinion only. It's sure biased, non-professional, but I've played WD more than five times. FIVE. So it's not just blatant nitpicking, because, in its core, WD Is a game I love dearly.

@march-moon, here you go! :)

Let’s sort out the negatives first so we can later praise the game for what it did well:

1. Predictable and dull AI of enemies (aka going John Wick mode).

Sure, the variety of said enemies is impressive, but... When you get a grenade launcher and some good shotgun, which you can do in the first hour of gameplay if you already know your way with the ctOS bank account system (LOOP IS WHERE THE MONEY'S AT), you're more or less untouchable for the rest of the game. Most conveniently, you're starting with a silenced gun and when you know around your way with the stealth system and focus, which slows time big time for those who might not know, you can clear out Rossi Fremont under two minutes. Why? Because the AI is just dumb and stupid most of the time.

Like, sure, the big-armed guys can be a pain in the ass for the first few encounters, but when you realize all you have to do is throw two grenades at them and fire as many bullets as you have at your disposal, they are dead immediately. And the same goes for the car chases. Until you unlock the almighty power of raising the bridges and blowing up the steampipes, these are just pain in the ass.

The first few ctOS scans and police chases, as well as the enemy chases, are fun. But when ctOS finds you after ten minutes of driving around like a mad man to dodge the shit, sending you off on a ten-minutes lasting chase which simply repeats itself. Let alone that you kill half of the city's population because you fuck up to turn your car.

To close this point, it gets repetitive, especially with the gang hideouts fuckery.

2. Ubisoft lying not only about the game features, but also about the overall graphics.

This point kinda explains itself, doesn't it? It's a known fact that studios have tendencies to change their games/movies for marketing purposes - for example, Disney and Infinity War or Naughty Dog's 'The Last of Us (Part 2)'. But this being a usual marketing tactic doesn't mean that the consumer should keep their mouth shut when they don't agree with it.

Most noticeable Watch Dogs' fuck-up was an overall graphic downgrade, which, sure, is completely understandable when you have such a huge open-world game, but... Ubisoft showed you a potato mash and all you got was the potato (The biggest point that is made fun of are the trees - those who played the games know what I'm talking about.).

Also, the enhanced graphics ARE coded in the game, but are not used due to something signed off as ‘playable compatibility’ as far as I can understand, so??

But... They did lie about the in-game features too. They promised a lot more than they delivered, like the bounty hunts and stuff... Where did that go, Ubisoft?

3. The side missions and the story.

Don't take it as such... In my opinion, some of the side missions are fun - at the start. We've talked about gang hideouts, but you have fixer-car-related gigs as well and the first ten of them is very immersive since you don't already know which type of the mission you're up to. Will you be pressured by the time limit? Will you have to race through the city in a car that you can't destroy too much, otherwise it can't be sold on the black market? Will you be a decoy for some other bad people doing bad things? But when you get through this phase... It's the same game system again and again, for 46 times, I think? And the villain convoys... Well. These are fun and refreshing each time, I have to say.

Every time, you can choose a different tactic to toy around with - will you catch up with the baddies sooner, turning this mission into an intense, tight chase experience? Or will you wait for them further on the road, toying around with explosives and guns? Sometimes, they slip past you, which leads to a chase around the city, sometimes you blow up all of the cars perfectly on time, A+. But... You mastered 1/3 types of side mission content.

As for the story, it's not the worst, but it isn't something super-memorable, lifechanging. I am not talking about the idea behind the story (the utopia of having the whole city lead by a system, which enables the corporation to control people's lives without them even knowing), I am talking about the Damien-Aiden-Lena revenge story. It's your daily revenge plot based on Aiden's niece dying in a car crashed after the car being shot at because of a failed job.

The first story mission is mind-blowing. You're thrown into the game and the first thing you have to do is to infiltrate a whole-ass stadium, which feels good, not gonna lie. And the 'prison-break sequence' is also memorable as well. But other than that, it gets real repetitive real fast. 'Follow this person', 'hack this thingy', 'kill this guy', 'tilly that person' and so on is present in every act of the story, which makes things kinda come across as boring after some time. It is what it is.

There are exciting in-game moments, like when Defalt is introduced to the bunch and hacks into the Bunker base, stealing all of your data. But sadly, these story masterpieces tend to be overlooked and not acted on, which takes off some of the immersion potentials. (I know that Defalt's story was saved for the DLC, so it's not the best proof.)

! BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT THE STORY DOESN'T HAVE GOOD BEATS !

Now, the well-made things for which you should DEFINITELY play this game:

1. Chicago being a videogame city that is alive and the 'collectibles' are extra fun.

Okay, okay, let me explain. Sure, Watch Dogs' Chicago isn't the best area ever constructed in an open-world game. But... The city feels alive, it is changing around you, it never stops. You can find people making out, talking bad about their friend who is not there, you can look into their day-to-day life via something called 'privacy invasion', where you just hack into a camera and... You hear mommy calming down her kid who is crying, you can watch two girls playing Wii, presumably, and many other every day encounters.

NPCs are answering to you being into the city - asking questions on the range from 'Is that the guy from the news?' to straightaway call the cops because you are a mass murderer probably. When you stand in the middle of a road, they honk at you; when you accidentally bump into them, they call you names. It's amazing... And profiling them is even more fun. You can find profiles ranging from 'author of poetry' to 'clinically confirmed pyromaniac' and 'searches for 'feet' on the internet'. This shit is just ridiculous.

But... It's the smallest details you'll fall in love with. You can get on the "L" and it takes you on a ride. You can ride in it for the whole day, or you can get off on the next stop. When you're in the Wards or near Rossi Fremont, you can find dudes just listening to rap, chatting. Some guys force flyers into other people's hands. You can have coffee. The rain somehow feels real, and the nighttime just steals your breath away - and so do the sunsets. There's a part of the city called 'Hobotown', where the local hobos live, there are secret poker tournaments.

Chicago in Watch Dogs is a city with so many minor details that you cant find each of them in one gameplay. In each gameplay, you'll find something new, something that just makes you chuckle - but it's so thoughtful of the developers to even put it in their game. These small details are the ones that make you feel as if you were inside the game, convincing you that the Chicago you're looking at is, indeed, alive.

Then, there are the 'collectibles'. I didn't know how to call it other than that, so bear with me for a minute. There are minor 'side-missions' - for example, you're going after a killer, who is leaving you audios on the places he left one of his victims. There are QR coded which unlock audios that talk about the DedSec hacktivists. In the small 'hack 5 routers in a time limit' quests, you are unlocking one of the Blume's employees audios (Angela Balik's), talking about the files Raymond Kenney had hidden in the code back in the day, talking about the uprising of the Bellwether 'crime' prediction system.

The collectibles aren't everyone's thing, of course, and it won't take any of the Chicago experience when you don't listen to the voicemails or if you simply don't collect them. But, they can immerse you in the game world even more. And to be honest, this is one of the few games that had my ass shook about collecting the additional thingies.

2. The character cast.

Let's be honest, Aiden Pearce on his own isn't the best protagonist in the world. Don't get me bad, I like this game a lot, but he can come across as boring at times. And that's exactly when the character cast comes in to balance Aiden's character. Most of the cast has some sort of an attribute which compels to Aiden's personality very well, completes him in some way.

You have Raymond Kenney, who is a paranoid, rowdy, alcoholic genius who helped with creating ctOS - but has remorse about his history, because he caused the Northeast blackout 2003, killing eleven people. Which can show Aiden how bad can the power over the ctOS system be.

There's Jordi Chin, a prestigious assassin/fixer, who uses the game's darkest humor. Every fucking second Jordi is on screen, it's captivating, immersive and you'll find yourself chuckling at Jordi's jokes, which are definitely out of place. But he still keeps reminding you that he's in for the money, which, in the end, turns against Aiden in a way.

Clara Lille, otherwise known as BadBoy17, is a hacktivist working for the rebellious DedSec who are rebelling against Blume, the company behind ctOS. She seems to be innocent of the violence of getting revenge, but later in the game, Aiden discovers how deeply she was invested in the whole story about Lena.

Each of the characters has a personal connection to Aiden, widening his personality in various ways. Which is funny to watch throughout the story - and there's a ton of other characters I didn't even get into, like Lucky Quinn, Nicky, Jackson, Bed Bug... The characters are simply terrific.

3. The overall soundtrack.

Hear me out, this point is kinda tricky, yeah? I am not talking about the official soundtrack. The radio has some blasts I fell in love throughout playing the game - whether it introduced me to song 'Ms. Crumby' by the Audition, or made me fall in love with the Vampire Weekend, Kid Cudi, or The Vindictives. Yet, in the case of the radio, I tend to sort out a playlist consisting of 4-6 songs (YES? YOU CAN MAKE PLAYLIST INSIDE THE GAME???) which I play on repeat throughout the game.

There's also this masterful thing about the soundtrack sometimes 'forcing' itself into your gameplay, maybe more like 'self-inserting' into the game if you will. The two most memorable encounters of this are when: a) when you're helping Ray Kenney leave the junkyard and Pawnee behind and the 'ring ding piety pow' hardcore metal song plays throughout the final encounter (Jesus Built My Hotrod by Ministry) and b) when you enter Rossi Fremont, the whole time you're going through the building, the rap/hip-hop is playing, making you feel gangsta. (I think it's a song by Wu-Tang Clan, not sure tho).

But... Then it hits you. The in-game hidden soundtrack that sadly wasn't released. At least not officially. It has a reason, worry not - this in-game soundtrack reacts to the player's progress throughout the missions, so it basically plays on a loop. Which is understandable.

The most standing out instance I can talk about is when you enter the small island where the old Blume secret place is hidden on. You and Clara are on a mission searching for legendary sacred place (at least for the hackers) called 'The Bunker'. And my friends... This is when it hits you. The soundtrack feels familiar even when you're playing the game for the first time. This piece just hits differently than any other soundtrack I've heard. Not even Time by Hanz Zimmer has this effect on me, and I LOVE the Inception.

And there's more - the piece of the soundtrack which plays when you're going after Jackson is probably another great example.

BONUS ROUND: 4. The Bad Blood (DLC)

Okay, this had a lot to do with my love for Raymond Kenney and I am not worried to say it out loud. But this DLC is truly a DLC. It only uses the WD world, which was set up in the OG game, as its base - but it isn't its main focus at all. This DLC introduces us to new characters as well as to some we knew already we knew.

In the OG game, Tobias is the mad hobo who sells us cool thingies to play with - and in they managed to show Tobias' full potential, showing us how smart and hilarious, as well as paranoid, this guy is in reality. It deepened Ray's character, revealed Defalt's motivations and the history that tied both of them to the Northeast blackout.

There are also new areas to explore, new things to play with and even if the DLC doesn't do anything too revolutionary with the game's world, it's the best DLC I've played. And I may have enjoyed it more than Aiden's story. But again, I'm pro-Kenney biased, so that's kinda expected of me, ain't it?

PS: I hate Sitara or whatever her name is.

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elliethesuperfruitlover · 4 years ago

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tw/venting

so it’s self-hate hour <3. today was good until it wasn’t. and like??? i fail one thing that doesnt matter (except it does, but it doesnt really) it just set me off. and i havent really told any family about it. i just hate all of it so much. i cant do grades like a normal fucking person. or take tests without anxiety. i just feel like a failure. this happens every fucking time. EVERY TIME i fail one thing, it’s suddenly “im done” and a switch snaps in my brain. and i hate myself. and im a failure. and i cry and scream. and want to jump out of a fucking window, or walk in front of a fucking car. because of a grade. and i dont know if it’s because i expect myself to always be the best, and gifted kid bullshit. or because im actually losing it and nothing’s going to get better.

every time i form a fucking hyperfixation, i ruin it myself, or it’s ruined for me. i cant watch my favorite shoes because of negative memories tied to it. nobody around me likes x thing, so i would have to explain and i always feel like im being annoying about it.

i just hate it so fucking much. i feel welcome in a place, then i don’t, because things happen and people change, and people lie. and i feel like no matter where i am, i always have to watch my fucking back. and i just want to feel safe for once somewhere. here i do, but i feel like ive got to prepare myself for something else bad to happen, and it just sucks. my friends always seem to leave. or i send them away. and i get nightmares and think about it day after day. its almost been a fucking year since i got rid of someone. and i still fucking think about her. and i hate myself for it. she was toxic, i was toxic. i ignored all the warning signs (like i always do) and got hurt. and i miss her. but i dont. it was fun while it lasted, but i couldnt do it anymore. and i fucking initiated it. so i feel like it was my fault. when it wasn’t, but im sure she isn’t having fucking nightmares about me, about everything being normal. she fucking forgot about me. and so has everyone else. and so WILL everyone else.

why do i have to be like this.....i cant like things like a normal person. i dont talk about things like a normal person. and i know being conventionally attractive, or whats considered conventionally attractive to society is bad for a lot of people. but i just feel so fucking ugly. i dont see me when i look at me. i cant talk because im like “your brain doesnt match your body, you fuck” and it sucks. derealization sucks. and im just now figuring out that it’s a big issue for me. my hair becomes a sensory issue sometimes, when i wear it a certain way and im just trying to look how i want to and i cant. because i dont know who i am. i dont use the words “pretty” or “cute” when describing myself. might be a gender thing. but it’s because i, myself am confusing. god i look at my classmates and go “thats a normal looking person, thats a cute person” and i cant even look myself in the mirror and see who i am, or who i appear as to other people. gender is confusing, my own gender is confusing. i dont know what it is. and im just...confused. i need an answer, but for once, there isn’t one for me.

the one week im supposed to be relaxing and here i am, stressing over dumb shit. and hating myself. and just digging myself further and further into the disgusting pit that is my brain and self-hatred. but i cant seem to stop. so im gonna be a bit sad for a while. and im not happy that today wasnt that good. i was sad today. and i didnt fucking eat lunch because i was busy indulging in a special interest. barely had a dinner.

when am i going to stop feeling so guilty about everything i do....i want to be happy. i want to be with my friends. and give them hugs. and go shopping at the mall, and be teenagers and pick out clothes and be stupid. i want to cry in someone’s shoulder after not seeing them for so long. and watch a movie. go to the skating rink and scrape my knees, like i used to. i want to go on road trips and conventions and see cosplayers and other people and have fun and not be able to sleep because im too excited.i want to read with a friend in a field, after having a picnic and just sit there for a while. come back late. i just want things to be okay again. because i know normal doesnt really exist anymore, nor will it ever do so as it did. i miss that. i miss fun. i miss feeling happy. i just want to be okay again.

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btxtreads · 4 years ago

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ANOTHER TAG ASHJHJASD

extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)

tagged by @txthearteu

tagging @markhyucknorenminchenji @qtsoobin @beomberry @txtdiaries and other people who wanna do it idk

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

of course, none other than king943 hSJADJSAJHAS. He’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on: the first person I actually noticed in TXT was,,,,,,, Kang Taehyun hSDHJAHJSDAHSA but he wasn’t my bias. I just thought he was cute (also amused me bc my BTS bias was Taehyung and I found a guy named Taehyun cute), but I didn’t stan them then. I started stanning when I saw ONE DREAM.TXT where they talked to BTS and found them really cute and endearing. Looking into them, they were wild, and chaotic and so fun and also i got rEAAAALLY attached to Soobin. So here I am. There u go, my stanning story.

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

becoming a famous actress or singer hJSHADJSA

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Went to a theme park. I miss going to theme parks 🥺

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

hmmm most of the time i just go out with just my phone and money unless I need to bring a bag due to safety concerns/more items needed. So I’d say nothing unconventional.

favourite type of plushies and why?

God do I seem boring hsahsajjsa but i wasn’t too big on plushies. I had a gigantic teddy bear named Justin when I was a kid (it’s a bear with shades that my brother gave me) and I used to buy plushies whenever I’m in disneyland, it’s all in my sister’s reading lounge. The only plushie in my room now is a Mollang doll wearing like a blue shirt/dress, it’s my favorite rn It’s squishyyyy

favourite song right now?

right now, it’s Work It by Sabrina Carpenter.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

Dancing (i literally suck. i have no idea how. no joke), Vocal Lessons (had some lessons briefly for like a year but i stopped and want to take some again), music production, acting, hosting

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

ok okok so one time in our class groupchat we were talking about class elections for officers. There were muse votes and some people were saying they want me to be the muse but i didnt want to bc i was busy with work. Then they started saying that they want me to be the muse and this guy that i rejected be the escort. while this is happening, i was simping hard for soobin in another chat. anyways, i got everything mixed up and accidentally sent the soobin simp stuff to the class chat and everyone thought i was simping for the classmate i rejected i was so asHAMED.

headphones or speakers? why?

speakers! idk i just like blastic the music loud.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

anything with cheese

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify since its free for me askjjksad someone pays for my subscription lmaooo

😌✌️

questions from cj to me:

android or apple? why?

APPLE because im loyal 😌 and i guess im just used to it so its easier to use for me + all my gadgets at home are mac

words of affirmation or physical affection? why?

I think there should be a good balance of both. The words will have the ability to give you this sense of comfort and satisfaction and you know just overall a peace of mind when you hear the right words??? and physical affection bc sometimes it’s just better to get a hug or a kiss isntead of talking yk? actions speak louder than words sometimes

bean bag or rocking chair? why?

Honestly, this would depend. If I’m reading a book and feeling very vintage with a hot cup of coffee, definitely a rocking chair. If I’m watching TV and basically just chilling I’d go for Bean Bag. I like maintaining the atmosphere.

do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)

I view it as in-between, because there’s always room for improvement. There’s always things to change, and consider, and make better. There’s no such thing as perfect.

If someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?

Please stop corona right now and let everyone go back to their daily lives and please let me attend a TXT concert bls im begging on my kNEES

if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)

Give me Soobin I just want to give him a hug. this is valid i can hold him

favorite season and why

Winter! Even if I’ve never experienced snow or winter before, the whole idea of snow is just really fun and endearing to me. One of my bucketlists is to see snow in real life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve always been this person to prefer the cold over heat.

what made you enter tumblr?

I’ve always been here! Just not in kpop tumblr. I’ve since deleted my old accounts and shame but i came back to write. It’s always been so stress-relieving to me, to write without any expectations on my back because I’m thinking about grades or a competition. Also Soobin simping is a daily thing and I gotta release it somewhere man

are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?

Yes. I may not be the richest or the prettiest, or smartest or whatever, but I have a good family that loves me. I have good friends that support me and I have TXT and BTS to help me cope when things get overwhelming. I have a job that gives me a little bit of income (it’s not too common for college students here to get jobs like in the US, most of them just focus on acads) and all the means to continue my education amidst the pandemic. So really, I’m grateful for where I am now.

to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?

Why do you have to do me dirty cj,,,,, prolly online. I may not get to hug them or anything but I get to talk to them still. As may times as I want to. And as a girl whose sanity literally just depends on Soobin giggles rn it’ll be very therapeutic to me to see them and talk to them as much as I could, even just through a screen.

QUESTIONS FROM ME TO YOU:

Cinema or Netflix? Why?

Fire or Rain? Why?

What’s the worst experience you’ve had as a KPOP stan?

How do you handle stress?

Favorite Disney Princess and why?

Which fictional character do you say you relate the most to?

How did you get into KPOP?

What kind of merch you got 👀

Would you date a KPOP idol? What would you do if you do date one? (doesnt have to be your bias, just wanna see what y’all would do)

Would you rather be with someone you love but doesn’t love you back or be with someone that loves yu but you don’t love them back? (Or, as the Filipinos would say, Mahal ko o Mahal Ako)

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: -

nickname: rina

birthday: -

zodiac: gemini

nationality: filipino

languages: english, filipino

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5′2 like 2 years ago, i probably grew like an inch or two

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: --

meaning behind my url: bts and txt fanfics to read hasjhsahj

blog established: ,,,,, i cant remember askjjksdjkdsa but the blog is only a few months old!

followers: 384!!! love yall

FAVORITES

favourite animals: b u n n y y y y y

favourite books: CAMP HALF BLOOD SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN IM ZEUS’ DAUGHTER YALL

favourite colour: black, blue, purple

favourite fictional characters: Percy Jackson, Jaron from Ascendance Trilogy, Chimmy!!! hihi

favourite flower: white roses

favourite scent: coffee

favourite season: winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 3-5 or 8-10.

cats or dogs: dogs because cats scare me

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!!! especially if it’s iced and sweet

current time: 12:21 AM

dream trip: California. Look I have the visa, pls miss rona. just leave so cali can just let me IN

dream job: actress or singer

hobbies: writing, reading, watching crackvids

hogwarts house: gryffindor

last movie watched: Work It (bc it has sabrina carpenter ahshsahsa i have low standards when we talk about Sabrina)

last song listened to: Helpless - Hamilton OBC

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): if given the chance again, I would go on a date in high school. Also try to exert more effort in my appearance back then i looked like an honest to god M E S S (tbh i still do but now i have eyebrow liner on) hsajhsajhh

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to (at the moment)

Run Away - TXT

Work It - Sabrina Carpenter

Euphoria - BTS

Song Cry - Yeonjun

Helpless - Hamilton OBC

Satisfied - Hamilton OBC

Journey to the past - Anastasia OBC

Lost in the Woods - Frozen OST

Perfect Song - Sabrina Carpenter

Friends - BTS

#tags #tagging #tagged yet again #sadjkjksdajad #what a mess #im so basic wtf

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txthearteu · 4 years ago

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extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)

tagged by @soobindipity 🥰 thank you bb 😌❤️

tagging @btxtreads @choisoobinie @unlocktxt @bffsoobin (this one is long so feel free not to do it ahahahaksksksks)

note: i found the breakers somewhere here in tumblr but i forgot who the owner is, so full credits to whoever owns these breakers

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

of course it’s their debut song Crown. I have to admit, I listened to them not because i discovered them but because of the whole “bighit is releasing another boy group” fiasco. people thought the hype would die down, i did too, but to this day the boys never failed me. they consistently made me happy with the content they gave out for everyone to enjoy. also adding, i think i’m attracted to them more (compared to their seniors) since they’re around my age– something in which i feel like i can relate to (in terms of the content they put out, or the jokes, etc)

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

becoming a music artist (pop star) 😔

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

travel to Japan and explore the place 😩

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

chopsticks hahahahaha because i usually eat using the spoon and fork when i eat out

favourite type of plushies and why?

anything twotuckgom related! they’re so soft and convenient because of the size. i also kinda wanna buy the bolsters 👀

favourite song right now?

i don’t have any but if you ask what i’ve been jamming to i’d say its city girls by chris brown

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

producing music, japanese, korean, hacking

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

so in the city where i live, there are places in which the canals don’t have any stoppers. i saw this kid walking with his family alongside these canals and he was just vibing with the song he was singing to. he was so into the song he was singing that he missed a step and he kinda slipped and fell in to the canal (don’t worry though there weren’t any serious injuries) and i swear it was a funny sight

headphones or speakers? why?

headphones! when the opportunity is present then i’d listen to my music with no outside noise

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

corndogs 👀

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify since i’m on spotify family

😌✌️

questions from eri to me:

what’s the best trip/vacation you’ve ever had?

the vacation i had in Japan last year! 10 days never felt so short in my life and i was planning to go back earlier this year but you know...’rona....

do you have any random fears/phobias? if yes, what are they?

i’m the toughest gal everyone knows but i get really creeped out by butterflies or bugs. i also get scared with inanimate objects that look like a human being when it’s laying still in the dark, i’m scared of mirrors as well HAHA.

weirdest food you’ve ever eaten?

worms

do you have any hidden talents? what can you do?

i can curl my tongue into what seems to resemble a three-leafed clover. i can also mimic voices well and, from what my friends said, i could actually dance well and im super fast in picking up choreography hahaha (ok but it’s what they said okay)

what is an activity you’d like to try out someday?

biking/hiking/camping :>

when did you get your first phone and what type of phone was it?

i think it was back in 4th grade and it was the famous nokia 3310

what is a movie you never get tired of watching?

flipped!

biggest pet peeve?

i absolutely get annoyed when someone tries to rush me and by the time i’m ready, they haven’t readied themselves

earliest childhood memory?

i put sand in this ice-cream-cone-looking rock, and i ate the sand thinking it tasted like ice cream

as a child, what did you want to be? what about now?

a music artist (pop star), until now that’s still my dream but unfortunately, i had to be “practical”

✌️😌

questions from me to you:

android or apple? why?

words of affirmation or physical affection? why?

bean bag or rocking chair? why?

do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)

if someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?

if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)

favorite season and why

what made you enter tumblr?

are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?

to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: -

nickname: cj

birthday: oct 12

zodiac: libra

nationality: filipino

languages: english, filipino (and my dialect), lil teeny bit or korean and japanese kskskskksks

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5'1 and a half (spare me the half pls im trying to act tall)

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: --

meaning behind my url: to put it simply, i love txt

blog established: start of quarantine

followers: 43 lovely followers!

FAVORITES

favourite animals: do you know cat and dog?

favourite books: anarchy by styleslegend (swear i've been hyping it since my 1d days) ; the tale of heidi by johanna spyri

favourite colour: yellow/brown/black (can’t choose)

favourite fictional characters: hulk, hinata shoyo, tomoe (from kamisama kiss)

favourite flower: i don’t have any ahahahhaha

favourite scent: mens perfume/deoderant

favourite season: spring

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 6-9

cats or dogs: (i love them both but i really love dogs but i just wanna hug them both because i love both cats and dogs)

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee is my go to energizer, for some chill time i’d go for hot choco

current time: 22:34

dream trip: japan(again)/australia/europe 😩

dream job: music artist 😔

hobbies: playing instruments [violin piano ukelele sometimes guitar and drums], listening to music, writing songs, beatboxing

hogwarts house: slytherin

last movie watched: oh dear god i cant remember HAHA

last song listened to: bbibbi by iu

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): if given the chance again, i’d combine mint choco and bubblegum ice cream; when i’m bored i try to re-read all my past lessons AHAHAHAHAHA; currently in a 5-year relationship akshsskskssjsjduskgkad

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to

city girls - chris brown, young thug

angel or devil - tomorrow by together

paradise - bts

zombie - day6

see you again - tyler the creator, kali uchis

dally - hyolyn, gray

love - kendrick lamar, zacari

redemption (with babes wodumo) - kendrick lamar, zacari

pyramids - frank ocean

all in - monsta x

#this was long #but i enjoyed answering it hehe #i'm having a music slump rn so my music choices aren't updated aksshshhshsjsjjsks #i love you all #love me back #🥰❤️

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years ago

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TF mtmte liveblog 1

sooo welcome to my latest liveblog, i love talking so i decided to liveblog my re-read of the transformers comics, specifically mtmte/ll. so, here goes!

starting out today w/death of optimus prime...i read mtmte/ll about 2 yrs ago, and i almost immediately re-read it, this time w/ruth...the first time i read it i missed a LOT, and reading it again really helped me actually understand what was happening lmao. so this’ll be my 3rd time reading it overall! so SPOILER WARNING for anyone reading this, i have read the whole series and will be referencing stuff that happens in future issues (tho i doubt anyone will read these, which is completely fine lmao, i love hearing my own thoughts so these are for me first and foremost)

on we go!

omg i forgot how dramatic this is. ok lets do it, monologue time

‘afterspark’...i love transformers words lmao

hvbhdjfsdf optimus being like ‘I'm still alive it seems...bummer’

gps meaning ‘galactic positioning system’ vbajkhfdsk again, love the terminology

optimus rlly just went on the biggest bender of all time and then wandered into a city like ‘where the fuck am i. this is the future right?’ lmao bro

WHIRL!!!!!!! i forgot he showed up this early

RODIMUSSSS my fucking boi

and bumblebee and wheeljack! i remember first reading this and recognizing basically nobody aside from optimus lmao

ooooh is that cyclonus i see in the bg of rodimus’s mini flashback explanation?? MY MANNNN

also i have no idea what they're talking abt vhbhadjskhfjsf I'm w/ya there optimus....i never read anything other than mtmte/ll so i really am not filled in on any of the other lore

ultra magnus arresting swindle in the bg lmao

i love the fact that there were all these like, refugee cybertronians all around the galaxy who didn't want any involvement w/the war for a variety of reasons...like, that makes so much sense!!! love it

god i love the politics in this world. its all so nuanced and interesting and grey, bc everyone’s side has Some logic to it

‘the decepticon pen’ vbhsdfhsajbfk i cant why did they call it that

oh god i almost forgot they threw poor cyclonus in there. let him live

[sees soundwave] <3<3<3

perceptor and rewind!!!!!!!

rewind...so tiny and smart...love him

TRAPPED LIGHT....aughhhhh i love all the mfing FORSHADOWING stuff

THE MATRIX IS A MAP YEAH BABEYYY

the optimus prime effigy omfg

drift!!!!

also the fact that the knights of cybertron supposedly left cybertron abt 10 million yrs ago...in the grand scheme of transformers that's not even that long ago tbh

also bee is so ufcking tiny oh my god

oh god prowl. #1 jackass

i feel like rodimus only understands part of what's going on and is like. ok this politics stuff sucks lets DO something

bumblebee out here quoting hsm

hvabjdfbsaf i remember the first time i read this i lichrally didn't know who any of these characters were and finally when someone said prowls name i was like THATS PROWL?????? lmao

like as a kid i watched tf animated and the bay movies so all my lore knowledge came from there. and well also transformers was my first foray into fanfiction so theres that too lmao

‘terrible things happen in war. terrible things happen in peace, as well’ LOVE IT

oh yeah those i/d chips sure are FUCKED UP jesus christ

magnus: yeah I'm down for a road trip actually. this place blows

also I'm sure magnus knew that rodimus & drift’s party ship would last about 5 seconds without some sort of solid authority to prevent everyone from dying immediately, so

i rlly love the conflict between the autobots and the nails bc both sides have really valid points abt everything

oof optimus leaving cybertron bc he recognizes that he as a figure represents the war...bro

bee rlly is hardcore in this continuity

optimus silently handing bee and rodimus a half of the matrix and stalking off...peak tired dad energy

optimus orion: fuckkkk yea i can finally do shit without my hundreds of kids bothering me for stuff. exile rules

so that's it for this issue!! ill probably try to keep these shorter and more coherent than my hxh liveblogs lmao. not sure if ill do quite as much meta here as I did there, since this isn't the first time I'm reading this

anyways, great start to a great series, i love the post-war setup SO MUCH, especially since so many other pieces of transformers media takes place during or before the war

and like, this feels pretty earned (at least to me) bc there WAS a bunch of comic stuff from the war period (not that i read any of it...)

god i wish idw didnt reboot the tf comics. there's so much more they could've done w/the post-war setting ugh

anyways, great start, cant wait to reread more!

#lj rereads mtmte #new tag hell yeaaaaaa baby #im probs not gonna put this in my regular tf tag bc i dont wanna clutter it lmao

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himawarinonamida · 5 years ago

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Okay last post but the inherent eroticism in a road trip.

That’s all.

#i think im funny #like im not even kidding #roadtrips are so hot and for why #like i cant watch any road trip movies without being like #bro if this was some lesbians and not a family of four #travis ans audrey if you still read these i am so sorry #it is currently 3:40 am

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writingshit-ifeel · 6 years ago

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Some Other Day

A/N: Here is my attempt at writing a one shot based on the quote above. I wrote this about 2 years ago and felt like posting it. :) I wont be specifing any ship or names unless requested. I like to write in a nameless format unless stated otherwise. I hope you like this. You can also request me to write imagines/one-shots/series. I can write for almost everything but I am ver familiar with Supernatural and Vampire Diaries. Feel free to request me anything though... just be specific with the name! Enjoy!!

Genre: 1 teaspoon fluff with a bucket full of angst.

Pairing: Him x Reader.

Warnings: Character Death.

******************************************************

They always say, actions speak louder than words. Most of the time what you do and how you behave conveys what you feel. And the phrase cant be any truer. Actions do speak very loud.

But words, they are reassurance. They give you the reassurance that what you are making of the action is right. It gives weight to what you are doing. Words, are just as important as actions.

******************************************************

It was a Saturday night, you were curled up next to your amazing, darling boyfriend, as you watched a comedy movie. A popcorn sat between you both as you both laughed and munched on the delicious snacks as you watched the movie. Movies were one of your favorite things in the world, and watching it with Him made it even more special.

As another scene came up, where the heroine tripped and fell on her butt, you both burst out laughing, looking at each other after a second. Up close he was even more handsome. His smile was the cutest and the most beautiful thing you had ever seen in your life. The way his eyes shone when he smiled as he looked at you and the way his dimples near his lips made him even more attractive made your heart flutter.

He loved how you laughed. Your angelic voice rang through his ears making him even happier and content. It was moments like these that you both realized you love each other. But realizing and saying it is a different thing. You realise many things, many times, but saying it out loud is harder. And so, even after 2 years of dating, you both thought of saying the three magical words, some other day.

******************************************************

Your back was against the kitchen counter as you watched him cook. It was his turn to cook today and all you wanted to do was watch him cook. You smiled as you looked at the concentration on his face as he chopped the onions. Eyebrows furrowed in determination as his hands moved rapidly, almost skilfully.

You heart fluttered a little when he finally looked up from the onions once he finished chopping them and gave you the brightest smile before putting them int the pan.

You wanted to say it then, how much you love this amazing man in front of you. You wanted tell him how much you loved him, but something stopped you, again. You never figured out what it was that stopped you from saying those three words aloud but, whenever they were on the tip of your tongue, it made you pause and give up with just one thought in mind; some other day.

******************************************************

“I love you.” That was the first time in 2 years he said that to you. You were on your desk working with full concentration when you felt a hand go around your shoulders. He was hugging you from the back, the chair separating his chest from your back.

The moment the words flew out of his mouth your body stiffened as your heart raced. The work in front of you was forgotten and the words he just uttered rang loudly in your head, like an alarm.

‘I Love You,’ he had never told you that before even though he showed it to you in several ways.

You knew it was him showing his love for you when he sang you to sleep even on the days he was exceptionally tired from work, just so you could sleep faster and better.

You knew it was his love when he stayed up the whole night taking care of you when you suffered from the flu.

You knew it was his love when he kissed you so gently and reassuringly whenever you were sad. Like taking away your pain slowly, layer by layer and filling you with warmth.

You knew it was his love when he lay his head in your lap and told you jokes and made funny pick up lines for you.

You knew it was his love when he ditched his plans with his best friends and took a leave from work just for you when you felt lonely and depressed.

You knew it was his love when he brought you your favorite food at the oddest of times when you were on your periods with the damn cravings and took care of you when you went through terrible cramps.

He was amazing at showing you his love. You could see it in every action of his, how much he loved you. You always knew he loved you without him telling you. You could feel it. But him saying it just made it even more real and beautiful.

And you wanted to say it back. You wanted to give him the same happiness you felt at that moment but something stopped you again. The feeling returned and it frustrated you cause you didn’t know what this feeling was. You just knew it stopped you from saying those words and left you with just one thought; Some other day.

***

“I love you.” He smiled at you as he kissed you on your forehead before pulling you close. You smiled as you snuggled into him pulling the covers around the both of you tighter.

He said it everyday now, never leaving a chance to tell you. It had already been 6 months since he first told you but you couldn’t repeat it till now. You knew it disappointed him a bit every time his words were left un-repeated but he never said anything. Maybe he knew. Just like you did maybe he knew that you love him more than he can imagine.

You envied him and how easily he seemed to be saying those words to you day by day. And God knew how much you wanted to tell those words back to him, just as easily, but the same damned feeling was back leaving the same words back in your mind; some other day.

******************************************************

“Are you ever going to say it back?” This was the first time in 3 years of dating He asked you this question. As he demanded you an answer you could see the disappointment, anger and sadness swimming in his eyes. The day was going perfectly fine. You both had the perfect date. In the morning you both went shopping, had street food as lunch and a fulfilling dinner in a nice cozy restaurant. And after you returned home He kissed you on your lips and you kissed back with just as much feeling. But, between the kisses he said the words that were now familiar to him but you couldn’t seem to repeat.

“I am sorry,” your head hung low as looked down guiltily. He had every right to be disappointed, angry and sad at you. Heck you even expected him to hate you!!! And that scared you. You could bare anything but his hate. “I-I” Your voice trembled as tears threatened to fall. Tears of frustration and fear. You feared he will leave you. You were frustrated too.

How could you not say the three most beautiful words to him? Why is it that after all these years, you still hesitate? It had always been hard for you to express Love in words but after so many years of being together you just wanted to say it too.

You wanted to give Him every happiness but this one, you couldn’t. And you didn’t know why. All you knew was this damned feeling stopped you and you just couldn’t figure out what they meant.

A tear slid down your cheek and guilt took over Him. He never wanted the love of his life to cry. He was just sad cause you had never said the words he longed to hear. He knew you loved him but his heart wanted you to confirm it in words. His ears wanted to make note of your voice and tone as you said those beautiful words out loud to him. He wanted to record it in his mind and hear it again and again. But making you cry for it was never his intention.

“Shh,” He pulled you in a hug resting your head on his shoulder. “Don’t cry my love,” He said in a soothing voice as he ran his hand through your hair. “There is no rush. We have a long life ahead of us. You can tell them to me some other day.”

******************************************************

It was a month after the confrontation when two of you were on another one of your dates where you walked around the city trying to find different places to hangout. It was 8:30 in the evening when you both spotted a cozy and small restaurant for dinner. It was across the road and calling out for you both. Hunger was eating you up after spending the whole day roaming around.

“Let’s go there,” You smiled pointing to the beautiful looking place. It had a beautiful ambiance and the outside of the restaurant just drew you to it.

“Sure love,” He smiled and took your hand in his. The lights turned green and you both started crossing the road, laughing and talking, when a loud honk was heard and you saw a big truck approaching the both of you. You were to his right the truck about to hit you first. Your mind went blank and you braced yourself to be hit but the next thing you knew you were pushed away making you fall a few steps ahead on your knees and just a second later a loud scream rang through your ears.

“NOOOOO!!!!” You screamed as you turned and scrambled to where he lay one the ground, in pain. Tears slipped down your cheeks as you hiccuped. “Why did you do it?” You sobbed. He was in pain, a lot of physical pain, but it hurt him ten times more when he saw your broken-hearted tear streaked face. He desperately wanted to wipe away the tears that flowed down your cheeks but the pain wouldn’t let him. He found himself helpless as you pleaded him to stay awake. He didn’t regret it though. He would do it all oer again. He would give his life for you, without hesitation.

“Please stay please,” You begged in a broken voice as your heat ached at his state. Sobs raked through your body as blood started flowing out the back of his head and he struggled to breathe. Tears shone in his eyes too breaking your heart even more.

The shouting people around you, some calling the ambulance, some taking photos, some trying to help just became white noise. The only thing you were focused on was the person you loved so much. Love. You still had to tell him those words. It was then you realized why you couldn’t say those words. You finally understood what you felt when you wanted to say it.

Fear. That’s what stopped you every time. Fear of losing him. Fear of parting from him. Fear of everything being a lie. Fear of falling deeper than him. Fear of everything being snatched away. And the fear was now coming true. So why was it that right now was the moment you wanted to say those words the most?

You wanted him to know how much you loved him cause maybe this would maybe be the last time you got to say it. But life was too cruel and He was too cruel. He knew you were going to say it and so fighting the pain and using the last bit of his strength he brought his finger up and put it on your lips. Shaking his head he silently asked you not to say them. And you knew why. You could read him like an open book.

He didn’t want you to say it because he wanted you to move on. He knew these were his last moments and he wanted you to forget him, make him just a memory. He didn’t want your first time saying those words be the last. That would be too selfish of him. So how much ever he wanted to hear them he stopped you. Cause if you said those words it would be harder. Even in his last moment he didn’t fail to tell you he loved you. Not through words but actions so selfless your heart ached to the point you felt nothing but pain.

And all you could do in that moment was hope that he knew you love him so much. You hoped he knew that it was your love for him when you laughed at his silliest and even not so funny jokes.

You hoped he knew that it was your love when you scolded him when he was late from work and for not taking enough rest and giving himself time.

You hoped he knew it was your love when you kissed him when he was sleeping. His face so peaceful that all you wanted to do was stare at him and kiss him.

You hoped he knew it was your love when you stared at him instead of seeing the movie cause watching his expressions change was much more interesting.

You hoped he knew that it was your love when you cooked him his favourite food when he came back even though you didn’t like it.

You hoped he knew it was your love when you gave him the longest hugs in the morning and didn’t allow him to get out of the bed, trying to convince him to cuddle.

You hoped he knew it was your love when you texted him in middle of the day to take you out on dates after work.

You hoped he knew that you loved him. A lot. And you hoped he knew that every single time he said I love you, you said I love you too, in your head. Your sobs were loudest and your heart ached as you watched Him struggle through his last breaths. Trying to stay awake longer just for you.

You trembled as his fingers weakly moved towards the tears on your cheeks and he attempted to wipe them away. The tears didn’t stop and you cried harder as his hands feel by his side, his body giving up.

You knew there was no hope for him and you were close to fainting. But you wanted to be awake. You wanted to be there for him. Because even though you couldn’t say the words you wanted to show it to him. So with whatever strength you had left you picked his head and kept it on your lap just the way he loved. Closing your eyes you leaned your head an kissed his beautiful lips hoping that it could say the words you always wanted to say. I love you.

******************************************************

As you stood in front of his grave you realized that the some other day never came. Life wasn’t long for you both and you had missed your chance. You realized you would now never experience the joy of saying the three magical words. World was too cruel. Life was too cruel. And most of all He was too cruel. If only he didn’t encourage your thoughts and let you say those words a month ago. If only life was as long as he claimed it to be. If only you said those words. Maybe you wouldn’t be as heartbroken and forlorn as you were today. And maybe you would be in a little more peace knowing that wherever He was, he knew you loved him. But now you could only hope he knew cause your words were left unsaid.

Sometimes, you should say things, even the scary ones, cause you never know the next moment life may never give you the chance to say it, ever.

******************************************************

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed! Requests are open to everyone. You can also submit your own writings! Thank you! 😄💜

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maousami · 6 years ago

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73 Questions Challenge Inspired by Vogue

So I just finished reading Vogue’s 73 Questions with Kim K and my delusional ass wants to do this shit too.

I got this from Nataliia Totka ’s blog and said sure why tf not lols

here we go

1. What are you most excited about these days?

I guess spending time together with my favorite human in the world

2. What’s your favorite holiday?

CHRISTMAS <3

3. Favorite season?

The Philippines doesn’t really have that many seasons (rainy and summer only lols) so maybe the Rainy Season?

4. Where does one go on a perfect road trip?

ANYWHERE WITH A BEACH <3 I fucking love beaches

5. What is the best activity when home on a rainy day?

Sleeping or Cuddling <3 sharing a movie with my S.O. <3

6. If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?

maybe my teacher Sir Steve. finally get him the girl he’s been crushing on since he was still studying architecture.

7. What is the best thing that happened this year?

THIS FUCKING GUY

8. What’s your New Year’s resolution?

Finish my thesis. lols <3 I am fucking done ahahhaha

9. What’s your favorite exercise?

ANYTHING LEG DAY RELATED <3

10. Best way to decompress?

Painting and just spending the day with my big doofus of a boyfriend.

11. What’s your favorite country to visit?

KOREA. 10/10. might change when I finally get to visit Japan though!

12. Last country you visited?

Korea hahahaha

13. Country you wish to visit?

JAPAN OFC. Also Israel ^^

14. What’s your favorite ice-cream?

DOUBLE DUTCH.

15. What makes you smile the most?

Being praised for something I don’t notice in myself

16. What’s the coolest thing in the world?

hmm... Vivid cosmic dreams.

17. What is the cutest thing in the world?

FOXES def foxes.

18. How do you know if you’re in love?

I guess it differs by person to person. Me personally, I know when I constantly have this need to spoil that person and help them in anyway I can through heart to heart talks or maybe a school project. I don’t usually go out of my way for happy crushes but you know shit’s serious when I’ve tried to replace them with another one, only to fail and drag my ass back to them. I am such a hoe hahahha

19. If you could go to any concert past or present, what would it be?

I have been dreaming of attending a Hatsune Miku concert ever since I was a first year in highschool. I need to go to one before I die.

20. What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?

I’m not the kind of person who’s the type to recieve. I’m more of a gift-giver so maybe the gift of people I guess?

21. Favorite fashion trend of all time?

The lazy Japanese unisex type. or maybe the tumblr girl who wears yellow dresses trend?

22. What’s your favorite movie of all time?

This is fucking hard. Clueless

23. What was the movie that made you cry?

OMFG CHEESY THING TO SAY BUT HACHIKO MY GOD

24. If you could make a documentary, what would it be about?

The mysterious life of Mao Usami

25. If you could have one superpower what would it be?

Being able to manipulate people under my will

26. What is the skill still unmastered?

Architectural manual drawing

27. What is the best thing that happened to you today?

Being able to wake up to this

28. Do you like surprises?

Yes uwu it makes me feel special hehe

29. If you could do a flash mob where would it be?

At SM department store hahahahhah might be funny

30. Do you like cupcakes?

sometimes ^^ muffins tho? mmmmm

31. Do you usually bake cupcakes?

I used to bake ALOT back in highschool. I was the kween of baked goods.

32. What’s your favorite desert?

Any Icecream cake. <3 would kill for a slice rn

33. Is there a desert you don’t like?

Anything with Peanut butter and Caramel. ew

34. What’s your favorite bakery?

Sofia’s atm

35. What’s your favorite food?

Anything pasta and OFC CHORIZO AAAAA <3

36. It’s brunch, what do you eat?

Pancakes, maybe a banana or maybe Tapa with warm white rice. mmmmm~

37. You are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?

CHOfuckingRIZO cant stress this enough

38. Favorite color?

YELLOW and baby pink<3

39. Favorite superhero?

not really a superhero but, Deadpool hahahhaha

40. What do you usually order in Starbucks? (or in your favorite café)

A Venti Iced Mocha without the whipped cream. also an Expresso Frappuchino is nice on a fucking hot day too. Iced Hazelnut Vanilla from Little Farmers is my go-to everyday coffee shot

41. Who is the last person you texted?

42. What’s your favorite activity to do in your hometown?

Having a great run around the neighborhood. Funruns are fun

43. What’s the next book you plan on reading?

I don’t have a new book in mind. maybe another YA novel?

44. What do you love in your pizza?

CARAMELIZED ONIONS AAAAAA and chorizo bits

45. Favorite drink?

Iced Hazelnut Vanilla by Little Farmers Coffee Brim

46. Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

Milk Chocolate ^^

47. What’s your favorite band?

kind of Mainstream but IV of Spades <3

48. Favorite solo artist?

DANIEL CAESAR

49. Favorite lyrics?

Talk to me - Cavetown

50. If your life was a song what would the title be?

51. If you could master one instrument what would it be?

The Piano. real basic but I get really emotional with a few piano pieces. I’d like to play one of them someday

52. If you had a tattoo where would it be?

On my left forearm ^^

53. To be or not to be?

To be. hahahaahah

54. Dolphins or koalas?

Dolphins. definitely

55. How do you like your coffee?

White and Creamy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

56. What’s your favorite curse word?

HOLY SHIT and PUTA

57. What color of dress did you wear to prom?

My school didn’t have a prom, but I did get to attend one with my cousin’s friend. It was pink ^^

58. Diamonds or pearls?

Pearls. they look classy and very Filipino

59. Cheap shampoo or expensive?

Expensive. I have frizzy thick hair. I don’t get too cheap with shampoo.

60. Blow dry or air dry?

Blow dry. hahahha blow

61. Heels or flats?

Heels. I look sexier ;)

62. Pilates or yoga?

Pilates every time baby

63. Jogging or swimming?

Swimming

64. One thing you can’t live without?

My sunglasses.

65. What’s one cause that’s dear to your heart?

helping street animals

66. Who would you want to shoot a love scene with?

ADAM DRIVER AAAAA

67. What’s your favorite sport?

I don’t do any sports but I usually love watching Figure Skating competitions and will def force my child into the sport. im sorry future kid!

68. Do you have a morning beauty ritual?

NOPE HAHAHA I AM SUCH A SLOB

69. What’s your favorite thing to wear?

I have this short mini dress I love to wear in bed <3 so comfyyy

70. What’s the priciest thing you’ve ever splurged on?

JFC MY WINDSOR AND NEWTON WATERCOLOR PANS

71. Do you play any musical instruments?

lol nope

72. What is your favorite book of all time?

Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah. Reread it a million times.

73. What is something you always travel with?

My Year Planner. ^^

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xxx420swagatron69xxx · 7 years ago

Text

30 Song Challenge

Im not doing 30 days of this so here it is all at once. Enjoy and message me if you actually listen to them, I wanna hear how people like this music,

https://open.spotify.com/user/brunotech69/playlist/5qZfg7ML5vJHF5fR6uuXgE?si=RaUsUp5zQEWksu3WElLhlg

(Two youtube only songs)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjENPPTzybQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=calHOKucYMw

1. Pacific Blue – Emily Zeck

a. Lots of ocean analogys and a nice cute love song

2. 8teen – Khalid

One of the grooviest songs on his amazing album.

3. Old Friends – Pinegrove

Summers are hella better for me stress-wise, but this song

4. Past Lives – BORNS

Its an amazing song and I hate how good it is. I listened to it over winter break after my gf at the time recommended it to me. Shame she was cheating on me the entire time.

5. New Wave – Quinn XCII

Found it recently and I can just imagine people in dance circles to this song

6. Wasted – Tiesto

It’s a popular song but I have small memories with friends of us belting this song out or dancing like idiots. It’s hard to miss a good time to just bounce up and down and scream this to whoever is listening

7. Odd Look – Kavinsky/Weeknd

VERY Sexual song but the bass slaps and it’s such a good road trip song when you are alone

8. Doses & Mimosas – Cherub

More than drugs and alcohol, this song talks about addiction and drowning your problems in substances. The second verse is my absolute favorite and the overall happy tone distracts from his cry for help. That’s why I like the song a lot.

9. New Eyes – Cbdb

I cant sing this with a frown. Very hopeful and just me complimenting the girl im with

10. Like Real People Do – Hozier

This song was shown to me by someone I still care a lot about at the right time where I needed to hear this. Its about being “saved” by someone but then worrying about why they were there looking. Mutual care and worrying about others doesn’t mean you aren’t worrying about yourself as well. This is one of three songs that will always get me sad and breathe heavy and wish things were better.

11. Barcelona – George Ezra

I spent a lot of my life abroad in Portugal, away from friends and ‘home’. This song deals with long distance and its George Ezra, so its just smooth to listen to

12. Sarabande Suite (Aeternae) - Globus

I did a lot of nerd shit and would listen to “epic” music while painting or building or video editing. This song has epic parts but has more nostalgic emphasis to me. I can see a trailer for some sci-fi movie being made out of this song.

13. Dancing in the moonlight – King Harvest

Before itunes and spotify, my mom made a cd mixtape of good barbecue songs and this was on it. I used to hate it but its just so good now in hindsight and this is the best version so don’t @ me with other versions.

14. Overwhelmed – Tim Mcmorris

I made a movie for someone special using this song but it’s just so full of love. I want to feel safe with someone to this song or a slow dance without worrying about it being too gushy

15. Golden Slumbers – Elbow (originally by Beatles)

From a Christmas commercial but its very nice and I pet a corgi to this song once.

16. TongueTied – Group love

Everyone knows this song but its very feel good and so fun to yell in a car or group of people having drinks.

17. Elephant Love Medley – Moulin Rouge

Moulin Rouge is my fav musical and this duo is memorized forever in my head and all I need is a partner really. Also more people should see Moulin Rouge.

18. Bombastic – Shaggy

The best song I could find that came out in 1995

19. Snow in Newark – Ryan Hemsworth

Newark is a very grey, industrial city in New Jersey, but also where the airport is. If yall didn’t know, I grew up in NJ and when I left it for the last time ever (college), it was snowing in the Newark airport. This song deals with him living his touring life but just wanting to be back home to someone(?). NJ is nothing special but I left a lot of friends forever. Idk if I’ll ever see some of them again and it shouldn’t worry me as much as it does. ATL is so much more diverse and colorful and I’m not the same person I was when I left NJ, but that doesn’t stop me from sometimes wanting to be back.

20. Goodnight, Travel Well – The Killers

This was written for the loss of his grandma I think, but it’s a whole song that deals with loss and accepting that there is nothing else you can say or do now. There’s lots of things I wish I could take back, but now its best if I don’t reach out at all. It hurts but its for the best.

21. Pierre – Ryn Weaver

Beautiful voice, fun lyrics. Its about dating/sleeping around but mind is on one person and just like oof.

22. Love – Kid Cudi

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjENPPTzybQ

This song I cant find anywhere besides youtube because he never released it like an idiot. The chorus is the best I have ever heard and I

23. Would You Go with Me – Josh Turner

If I recommend a country song, and your immediate reaction is “oh I HATE country, it’s so DUMB. How COULD you enjoy it?” first of all fuck you and your Hamilton loving ass but if you want to listen to one (1) country song, this guy has an amazingly deep voice and I have a lot of good memories to this song and good lovey-dovey feels.

24. Shots- LMFAO

I loved LMFAO as a kid (like many people) and shots is just such a simple feel good song and if you say you never at one point enjoyed their music at a party, you are weak and lying.

25. Waiting for the End – Linkin Park

a. His suicide really punched me in the gut and I had to excuse myself from work to cry a bit. I always enjoyed the less scream-y Linkin Park songs and there are a lot of messages I hope people can relate to and get help for.

26. I Belong to you – Ben Abraham

Simple and sweet, he sings about knowing that one day he will fall in love. He knows he doesn’t have one now, but isn’t worried and is sure that there is someone out there he will meet one day. The whole idea of belonging to a bright future with someone is so nice and I can only for it myself

27. Hero – Regina Spektor

From the best scene in 500 Days of Summer, this song plays when the overly romantic guy gets drunk and falls into depression after seeing the girl he has been creepily doting on with someone else she didn’t tell him about. For me, its just when Regina spektor keeps saying “cheating cheating cheating” that gets me.

28. Dog Problems or Oceans – The Format

The Format (aka early version of Fun.) has some bangers and these two are my fav from the album Dog Problems. Dog problems is about being cheated on and Oceans is about wishing you were on the west coast to see your loved one again. I couldn’t choose one so theres both.

29. Baby mine – Dumbo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=calHOKucYMw

My mom would sing this to me and my brother sometimes at bedtime when we were really young. Things were so much simpler and mental illness wasn’t even a thing I was worried about. I have a shitty relationship with my family now, and I really wish I could make things better without sacrificing who I am in the process.

30. Need – Pinegrove

If I could find a song 100% about me, it is absolutely this song. It goes into mental struggles, “wanting” things that are necessary, getting stuck inside in your mind, and its all in a begging and pleading tone. I really really fucking wish I didn’t ‘need’ things like social interaction or affirmation or mutual sexual attraction. If you have to listen to one, definitely make it this one.

message me if you give any a listen. thanks

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wateenleventje · 4 years ago

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The Beginning of Us

I used to write fiction. Nothing really remarkable, yet I enjoy composing fictious character's life and tell how love can change our life. Maybe because I watch too much romantic comedy. When I finally stop writing these type of writing, is I think because it does not give much impact to my personal life, let alone to bigger audience.

I decided to write more based on my real personal experience or share my thought in a blog platform. It feels different, it feels more therapeutic because I can stop bottling up what is on my mind and how I actually feel. It is also nice to have pensieve (Harry Potter vocab alert)!

I sometimes miss the good old days when I soak myself in the story of love. No matter how cheesy the story is, I believe that every person's life worth a once in a lifetime story, especially their journey of finding love. That is why I love watching movie about love story (Earlier episode of The Crown with Elizabeth and Philip's story, Felicity Jones' The Theory of Everything, Sandra Bullock's The Proposal, Hilary Duff's Cinderella Story, Lily Colin's Love, Rosie., Lindsay Lohan's The Parent Trap, Emily Clarke's Me Before You are some of my favorite). I enjoy reading hundred of pages (oh well, thousand? I even guilty for reading the whole Twilight Saga series) of how people's life twisted once love came. I kept quotes of love advice, reading and listening to random podcast, videos and blog post about love story, and I even wrote scientific paper about Long Distance Relationship couple (for my bachelor's thesis).

I have to admit that I even perceive so many things in my life happening in a way of a romantic comedy writer works. As an intro I would summed up that we started off as two strangers meeting in a destined time. We came with our own baggage a.k.a history and current situation on-going, but we just gotta meet that night and get through the labyrinth first. Even the setting could not be anymore "hollywood-like": one night, in a new city, simple hello and cheesy line, and we instantly hit if off.

One thing lead to another, we did not just related, but we keep in touch regularly after that night. It was a memorable night and I was enchanted by him. However, it was on hold shortly after he casually mentioned about his current relationship and became supportive to my situation that time.��I was not in my best state at that time, as I took so many careless choices and not focusing on what really matters in life and in love. I think, it was because I was 23 and living on the edge seems like a celebration of getting “my freedom”.

Even when we became busy with our own circle, our own love life, and our routine, we maintain our close friendship. We came to each other naturally but carefully refraining ourselves from diving in real feeling. I somehow sense that I messed up a little too much and with him I just found a safe haven. I became so comfortable showing my actual thought and telling him how I felt, even when he frowned after hearing about it. I have to be honest, even though I was in a relationship with someone else by that time, I enjoyed his constant care (like taking the closest chair or walking beside me most of the time), his abudant encouragement (how he called me "genius" just because I told him excitedly that I passed my exam without caring the grades I have), our sweet personal talk (I remembered how he shared his "wedding theme song" to me when we were just friend), his being protective to me (not letting me out on my own during winter night) and making a big deal out of his spontaneous compliment (telling me that I made the best fried rice--just because I decided not to put chili on it, because he dislikes spicy food). I remembered that we spent so many alone time, one on one talk when our group of friends are hanging out, catching up in a short groceries walk.

By the end of our first semester, I noticed that something change between us. We become overtly friendlier but also trapped in our current situation. I was so consumed by a long distance relationship struggle back then and did not realize that he also getting close with someone else. I still think that he paid that degree of attention only to me and we have different level of closeness, so I got myself so comfortable with him. I was indulged in our special routine: taking time, just the two of us, strolling around the city in dawn, having kebab and soda when I need someone to talk to, watching the first snow shower together, and even had our best-honeymoon-trip-scenario, where he acted as if he helped me to create a honeymoon itinerary for the me and my future spouse while we just filled it with our favorite places.

I had my breakdown that year after a short holiday where we spent far away from each other as I just broke up from a relationship that I actually knew would not survive. Still, it hurts and what I wanted that new year eve was just to returned to our Maastricht and met him. I was delighted that he was eager to meet me and my parents as well, to the point he initiated it. We arranged a short trip out of the city and I can't deny how I felt about him once I found him getting along with my father. I watched them just sync effortlessly and how he made conversation with him all day long while me and my mom getting “busy” shopping. Maybe I was not rational at that time, wanting to escape from my heart break, but I swear I hear myself saying "I think, all these things happened so I can realize that Madeza is the one".

I did not pay attention or simply refute from seeing the signs, I let myself build hope that this might be a start of something new, only to find out that he had a new girl friend. I remembered that night very clearly, I remember the place when he told me casually about it. I felt like a fool and I keep wondering whether it was a plot twist in our story. Anyway, is it quite clear how our love story resembles one of that movie up until this point?

The shock and even worse heartbreak this time, I got angry and tried to find another resort. So, I chose to spend time with someone else out of the blue, making it clear that I tried to escape watching someone I am in love with enjoying a good time with someone else. I tried to run away from the fact that I have to witness them together, because we were in the same group and we lived in a small city, and I need to at least be able to "do what he do to me”. I don’t know if I am so angry at him or at the timing.

Nonetheless, I can’t keep my joy whenever we sneaked out for a meet-up. But our conversation became bizarre as we keep so much from each other. It only took us weeks to realize that our so called friendship needs a closure. We approached each other, talking until dawn and crying and laughing at how ridiculous the situation we got ourselves into. We talked about past, about our feeling, about moments we secretly keep and treasure it. I was told that he actually recognized me before we talked for the first time. He spotted me through a social media posting and he read some of my blog posts.

I think, that moment we were too happy and got ourselves into a bubble, we were too afraid to return to the reality we were in that we did not talk about it. But morning comes and we just have to face the reality we were in. Once or twice we exchanged some difficult conversation, like a passive I-want-you-to-tell-what-is-going-on-between-us and we did not continue in the middle of our conversation because it was too hard just to straightly said how we actually feel. So, we let the distance grow, we did not really exchange news or let ourself start any conversation. It was hard, but I think by that time it was what we need for a while.

I remember the spring was around the corner when we finally reconnected. It started with a random meeting and hang out. It ended up with a text where I confessed that I miss him so badly. Ever since that day, we just know that things are escalating. Although we spend time with our friends, we cannot keep that longing stare off each other. I feel that moment very significant to our relationship because we were so close to hit that point in our romantic relationship, yet we were not so sure where we stood.

One of the most special memory in that period is related with the celebration of my 24th birthday. We did not get to celebrate my birthday together, but we went to the church that morning together. He took me to a birthday brunch and it was a lovely morning. I was not really in a good place back then, I felt a bit disoriented in between what I have not achieved in my life and where I want to walk after this. We talk about future, not as the two of us, yet, but about each of us. We learn about surrender (berserah) our life in God's hands and not give up our situation to the situation at road's end (terserah). I never had that kind of conversation with anyone before, that moment I know how much I want to have those conversations for the rest of my life.

As we only have part of my birthday together, we decided to go for a date to annual spring garden, away from our city. I bought a pinky seed of tulip, we strolled, chatted, and had dinner. He took me to have dinner in a cozy café by the pier called Plek. We stayed there long enough until the crowd dissolved, looking the sky turned black, the lights hanged warmly, and we had the bench by the pier for ourselves. We sit there, looking at pitch black far horizon, just close our eyes in silence side by side. The weather feels cool, but I cant help feeling sad for this moment, as verything is quite blurry even when we can't deny what is hanging the air. He said something though--something that replace the 3 words we have not really dare to say to each other as we just throw the badge of friendship that we used all this time. "If one day I don’t fight for us as much as I do today, please remind me of this place and this moment."

He took my breath away.

For 23 years I was falling and failing miserably, worrying that I wont come up with the love story that as magical as my parents’. I am afraid I won’t ever stop looking until I found my own great love story. Then, I met Madeza that year and I know he is my great love story. It was just the beginning and I already know how it turned out to be, and I love it. I’ve found the one and it is much more wonderful than any love story in the whole world.

#whatalife

#wateenleventje

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fuckdavestriderheistheworst-blog · 7 years ago

Note

you too buddy all the SO questions

ugh why damn it i did not ask to be punished by means of talkin about vantas until my fingertips bleed

but fine

Significant Other Asks

1. Tell the story about how you met.

it was over the summer about three years ago and tumblr kept pushing a certain blog at me and upon checking it out i decided to give him some troll asks (which looking back upon now were lame as fuck? what was i thinking honestly)

anyway that became me revealing my blog over tumblr and then lo and behold we had a college class together and we realized we were sitting beside each other and i told him that his major was an “easy major” or something and basically he hated me for a while there

2. Was it a gradual increase of trust and love, or was there a specific moment where you knew “I want to be with this person for a long time”?

it was gradual for sure i went from picking on him to agreein to let him tutor me in english to craving his friendship and then falling in love with him without even realizing

before i knew it i was head over heels and here i am, happy as fuck that im dating my best friend

3. Describe their eyes. Describe their hands. Describe their laugh.

his eyes go from being like cinnamon to being like hot chocolate, in color accordin to lighting and in mood, his hands are warm and comforting to hold and are quick as all hell on a keyboard, and his laugh is rare but memorable, like its dusty from misuse and drizzled over with the annoyance i usually provide him

4. What’s your zodiac sign and mbti type? What about your partner’s? Do things like that reflect your actual compatibility or is it just bunch of bunk?

i had to google what my zodiac was because i think both of those things are bullshit but im a saggitarius and an isfp (or was it istp i dont remember its been years)

vantas is a gemini and...

i dont think he ever tested for it because he isnt internet quiz garbage but hey what does it matter without knowing his results i know that we are a fine match

5. Are you long distance? Have you met in person before? When do you get to see them again?

no, yes, and probably this evening when i bring back dinner

6. Tell me a story about a happy experience you two shared. Something that makes your heart warm whenever you think about it.

something that makes me feel really happy to remember is the new years eve after he got those color correcting glasses and i took him to watch the fireworks and he was so happy and amazed at the color and the show and i was so proud that i could do that for him

7. Tell me a funny story. Did they do something silly? Did you do something silly? Talk about your inside jokes.

one time i groaned into his ear and called him daddy to test and see if he had a daddy kink or not and he was SO into it so now im waiting to call him daddy again when he least expects it

8. Are your families supportive? Does it matter if they’re not?

yeah as far as i know both sides are

9. Would you ever have a pet together? Do you already have one?

we sort of have pets together but theyre also just kinda our own pets but with shared care

10. Do you have children together? If not, are you both interested in raising children some day?

i dont really want kids and i dont think vantas does either like ever we arent even married and also having kids would be a hassle

11. If they’re having a bad day, what do you do to help?

i usually just sit and talk to him and support him like a friend and boyfriend should do its not really anything special but it works every time

sometimes i surprise him with relatively cheap gifts or food too but he doesnt like me splurgin so i try not to make him uncomfortable

12. If you’re having a bad day, what do they do to help?

same thing really hes always there for me to make me feel better and talk things through

13. What’s something that your partner does that would be annoying if anyone else did it, but it’s cute when they do it?

scolding me like he is a third parent, somehow its endearing when he does it

14. Have you ever went on a vacation or adventure together? Tell me about it. If not, do you have plans to do something fun in the future?

yeah weve gone on a few sort of technically

that one road trip to texas we took and spent a while on

the trip to malibu

were planning (or i am) for a trip to europe this summer if its at all possible with our schedules

15. What’s something that you learned about yourself because of being with your partner?

that im enough just being who i am and that i can have a relationship without cash at the forefront

16. What’s a piece of advice that your partner gave you that has resonated with you?

you dont have to bend over backwards for somebody to please them or make them like you just be yourself

not the exact wording but that is the moral

17. Which one of you kills the bugs (or captures the bugs and places them safely outside)?

we take turns but i dont like to kill them unless theyre wasps or venomous spiders id prefer to catch and release

19. Do you prepare meals together? Does one person enjoy cooking more than the other?

neither of us can cook for shit so other people prepare our meals for us always

20. What are the best restaurants to go to? Do you see movies at the theater? Do you do things like golf or bowling, just to bond more?

i like taco bell and pizza hut, yes, and i dont think weve ever done either

21. Tell me about a time that you got into an argument over something silly.

we used to get aggressive over gay chicken sometimes early on in our friendship that was always fucking ridiculous

22. Tell me about a time that you got into an argument over something serious. How did you compromise? What did you learn?

one time vantas said he was disappointed in me and i took it hard and im pretty sure it ended with him leaving but i dont remember what brought it on or how serious vantas had been or how sensitive i had been

we got over it. not sure i learned any super moral from that but it did help me learn about him better in the long run and vice versa

23. Is there a famous couple, fictional or otherwise, that reminds you (or other people) of you and your partner?

will and jada pickett smith

24. Do you have a shipname?

vantder i dont know

maybe film boyfriends because he writes and i sort of direct

27. Do you have extremely similar personalities and interests? Or extremely opposite? Or is it a balance that just makes sense? How do you try to better understand each other? Do you ever have to experience things you’re not interested in, or vice versa?

we sort of click here and there but mostly our interests are different

i know he isnt super into art but he shows up to support me like he went to the award event with me and said he was proud of me and i like to offer up romcoms and movies akin to his interests when we settle in for date nights

he is supportive as hell but i dont think either of us have ever made a point of saying we arent interested in the other’s interests

28. Has your partner ever changed one of your opinions on morals, politics, society, etc?

he helped me to be better about takin school seriously so id say yes

he has also changed my opinion about myself almost completely

29. Tell me about a time that you were really proud of them.

when he got that book deal i was so happy i felt like huggin on him for days

i knew he could do it and it made me real proud to know that he did it and i am STILL proud of him

30. Does physical affection and/or sexuality have a role in your relationship? Are both of your needs being respected and fulfilled?

yeah both are heavily involved and fuck i hope so im not sure how much more i can step up my game

31. How often do you talk? On the phone, Skype, in person? Are you two the type that stays up too late because the conversation is too good to end?

we talk all the goddamn time and basically never leave each others side

i know i regularly stay up hells of late talking to him because i like it so much

talks get so much deeper at night when youre curled up next to somebody you love

32. Talk about your sense of humor, and your partner’s. Do you laugh a lot together? Which one of you is funnier?

were both assholes with sarcasm as our main crutch and im pretty sure we have both laughed at the others expense at one point or another but i would have to say that we are damn near a tie because both of us have a pretty deplorable sense of humor stand up comedy will not be in our futures any time soon

33. Is there anyone who doesn’t like the idea of your relationship? What’s the reason? How do you and your partner overcome disapproval from others?

no i cant think of anybody who is against our relationship

nobody that matters anyway

34. Have there been any hardships that have ultimately brought you closer than before?

i mean i hit my head and got retrograde amnesia and still had feelings for him so i think that eliminated any doubt i developed feelings just because of sex

i didnt remember it and i still loved him

35. What’s their contact name in your phone?

vantas

36. Tell me about what your partner is good at. Are they an artist, are they good at math, do they play a sport, etc?

vantas has stamina when it comes to running and shit for DAYS i thought id die the first time i went running with him

hes also a really great writer and im not just saying that to be supportive i think if he sat down and wrote a book itd get a film adaptation nigh instantaneously

steven spielberg would shit himself

37. Get really sappy and gross for a moment. Be so gushy that your friends would groan in mock annoyance if you told them. What’s adorable about your partner? What makes your heart melt? What’s something cute that they did that you’ll always remember no matter what?

god i just fucking love his eyes and his lips and his hair and the way that he scoffs over dumb “rich guy” things and how good his coffee is when he makes it and how i can NEVER replicate it that good even when he guides me through makin it. i love the sound of his voice in the mornings and late at night when i should be asleep but am clinging onto him and talkin about nothing in particular. i love how he says my name and i especially love that hes the only one who really calls me by my last name so affectionately. i love the way he reads and i love the way he still looks a little too long at colorful things sometimes when we are outside and walking. i love the way his hand fits with mine and i love that we can reassure each other through anything, that we will be there for each other through anything. i can easily see myself spendin the rest of my life with him and if not as a boyfriend then as a best friend

38. Let’s talk about life goals and hopes. Do you two have a similar idea for the future (regarding careers, getting a home, family, finding meaning)? Do you two make a good team? Can you imagine spending the rest of your life with them?

weve talked about moving in together or gettin a house but our careers are pretty up in the air right now except for vantas’ teaching job. i think we make a fuckin great team and id love to spend the rest of my life with him in any way shape or form

39. Reflecting on all of your experiences, what advice would you give to a young couple?

pick your best friend to fall in love with because youll never have a better love than that

40. Is your partner on tumblr? Tag them here and write them a small message, it can be anything.

@crimsongenetics hey vantas sorry for gettin all gushy here i hope i dont make you throw up at school i love you

#ask meme #literalillbeats #((m i s E R Y but THANK U

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