himawarinonamida

[himawarinonamida]

Okay but adjust the age for how old the post is and this literally Skylar like what the fuck how did I foreshadow my future gf with such absurd specificity as a Webkinz I-

This is CiCi my black and white Cheeky Dog! She’s 17 and a badass punk rock trans girl! She likes to play guitar and sing and get into trouble, but she’s got a good heart. She’s a little insecure but she’s trying her best to make it big in the music scene.

[himawarinonamida]

Dean Wilson

booty shorts crop top

Talking German nonstop

On stage all the rage

Keep the audience engaged

Knee high boots, nails done

Knock out Zack and Cody’s puns

Pop that knee and throw it back

He is the prince of the PAC

[himawarinonamida]

I would honestly sell my mortal soul to not be gay. Like the amount of bullshit being gay is made me go through??? Unreal. Like I legitimately think I would’ve been spared my depression at least to some extent.

My trauma would’ve never happened. I’m still not comfortable calling it that because nothing happened but fuck it no one gives a shit.

And I can’t bring myself to pretend because I legitimately couldn’t be attracted to men if I tried, but Jesus fuck if there’s a switch I could flick to change who I was I’d have that shit on straight.

[himawarinonamida]

THINGS I DONT DESERVE: ALMOST 1000 AO3 HITS FOR LITERAL GARBAGE I-

IM GETTING SO MANY COMPLIMENTS ON MY WRITING I POSTED AND ITS MAKING ME SOFT AND BABY BUT ALSO LIKE,, WHY DO THEY LIKE IT

[himawarinonamida]

IM GETTING SO MANY COMPLIMENTS ON MY WRITING I POSTED AND ITS MAKING ME SOFT AND BABY BUT ALSO LIKE,, WHY DO THEY LIKE IT

[himawarinonamida]

Me: hey!! Any girls wanna-

Men:

[himawarinonamida]

Also ok I joke about the bound and gagged thing but I just remembered it and I just wanna ask what the fuck was going on there.

[himawarinonamida]

Gross shit below

I think being bullied in middle school gave me a a thing for being made fun of and idk what to do about it. Like I am so sorry if a woman calls me a disgusting fag that is just an ideal at this point.

[himawarinonamida]

strawberries and women are the best things in the world

[himawarinonamida]

AS A GAY WHO RUNS ON ATTENTION AND AFFECTION I AM NOT I REPEAT NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME SOMEONE COME RUFFLE MY HAIR AND CALL ME A CUTE DUMBASS IMMEDIATELY OR I WILL IN FACT COMBUST

[himawarinonamida]

I do be holding onto my existence for dear life begging for something good to happen to me only for god to be like “u want something good?? hmm,, ok here’s some good pasta” and I’m like “okay thanks but like I was thinking maybe like.. I dunno,,, human connection? Validation?? Dare I say,, physical affection”

God says “ah. I hear you I hear you. Here is some more pasta but now you are 6ft away from ur friends”

I say “ok,, ur getting closer and imma let this slide bc quarantine but if I don’t go on a milkshake date with a cute dyke freshman year of college to make up for it we gonna have issues”

He says “maybe u should lower ur expectations” and I say “fuck”

[himawarinonamida]

It’s 5am and I’m bein stupid.

I didn’t think that would be the last time, you know? And even if I knew it would be I thought I’d feel different by now. It’s stupid and it’s stupid and I hate it because I know that come June it would’ve probably ended anyway and hell it ended way before April or even March so I shouldn’t care that the inevitable happened. I wanna do it all over again. This time with a pair of metaphorical balls even if it wouldn’t change anything. I had so much fun. And I know it isn’t my fault or anyone’s fault but to not even say an awkward goodbye sucks. A lot. If I had known that random fucking Thursday was the last time I’d probably ever see you I would’ve been like “oof, remember me in therapy lol” and you would’ve been like “stfu” and that’s it because I would’ve been prepared for it at least.

TLDR im a simp with dumbass disease

[himawarinonamida]

y’all remember being 15? That was fucked up

[himawarinonamida]

Hi I got a catch air/ playmazing on my feed and it activated my fight or flight response

{source}

[himawarinonamida]

Okay last post but the inherent eroticism in a road trip.

That’s all.

[himawarinonamida]

Rereading my own fanfic really makes me sit back and think. Like why tf is my ideal relationship one where I’m constantly (but lovingly) being bullied lmfao

Who hurt me

[himawarinonamida]

i painted………………. a boy.