#like i cant just Turn Off my emotions ykno??

[neuroticboyfriend]

dissociation go brrr

[kcmeo7]

[UNFINISHED] okkkk heres my joestar hc list bc i keep forgetting (complimentary jolyne pic bc she is THE coolest)

VERY LONG POST (more under the cut)

ok i cant fit this in anywhere but i feel like stands use any prns so if u see me switching prns for them thats why

ONTO LE HCS!!

jonathan - honestly i used 2 see him as strictly cishet but do u guys see the bi jonathan vision. i feel like hed be in extreme denial (victorian england) or he would just be super fucking clueless so he would be like Omg i love erina she is so gorgeous and then wonders why it makes his heart flutter when speedwagon glazes him. sometimes i am extra greedy and i see him as a he/him butch lesbian…. no one can escape my lesbo beam mwehehe. i feel like hed also be neurodivergent but idk w what and tbh he doesnt know rither bc he orobably never got it checked (and probably couldnt bc victorian england). but i also dont mind cishet jonathan. he is whatever i feel like at the moment. good for him!! good for him!!

joseph - bisexual. thats not a straight man. he wanted suzie AND caesar and they smooch I DONT GIVE A FAWWWKKK 😞😞😞 hes so transgender to me too like do u see the vision. if tou dont thats ok . because I DO! i also think he has adhd him and caesar r audhd couple … yknow how some nd ppl like weighted stuff like blankets? i feel like joseph likes that but w tight clothes bc theres no other explanation for why hes wearing jeans that tight fitting. he uses hermit purple to piss people off not just for its stand ability like theres no eay he didnt poke suzie qs back w it and then giggled when she turned around and nothing was there. what a LOSER!!

jotaro - oooj ive sat on this one for the longest time. had this cooking for ages. i have it planned specifically i have it roadmapped. hes transgender to me. i feel like when he was a kid he thought he was gay then during pt 4 he identifies as straight then in pt 6 He doesnt gaf he thinks hes too old to ponderbut its something man liking adjacent. Anyways jotaro boypussy canon he told me and star plat is ALSO transgender. he (star) acts like a big dog sometimes he doesnt speak and mostly communicates by gestures and hes suuuper cuddly and sweet and gets excitable very easily. hes very curious and probably just has a little pile of things that are important to him in jotaros room. hes also the biggest snitch ever but also helps w communication bc i think joot is autistic w selective mutism (Just Like Me Fr…) so star will hold up a whiteboard and pen looney toons style when jotaro just Cannot Word. holy ahit you can tell im biased

josuke - gay man. probably talked with jotaro about being confused abt his sexuality (and maybe gender expression too) and jotaro was like [cool voice] Yeah man this atuff is normal Youre young youll figure it out dont be hard on yourself and josuke was like YAYYYY thank you :3 paraphrasing a lot. hes so autism to me as well i think josukes special intwrest would be that stupid little game he plays he knows so much abt it he used crazy diamond to shoplift merch a few times shhhh… but then he went badk and paid after bc he felt bad. stupid idiot. speaking of crazy diamond i feel like its like star where it cant say much other than dorarara ykno… except josuke is very talkative so it prefers to stay quiet and just fucking Stare. i feel like it forgets to emote bc josukes so exaggerated w how he talks so it doesnt rlly need to do much. its not like it minds anyway. usually when him and okuyasu r together you can see crazy d and the hand together bonking heads and holding hands and doing everything yheir users r too PUSSY TO DO!!

giorno - honestly i fw aroace giorno and acespec giorno in general. like thats just him to me … i also think hes part vampire bc of dio ( ik thats not how it works) so hes got little fangies and pointyish ears and he gets sunburnt a lot easier and hamon hurts him. gender wise i feel like he doesnt really care what you see him as. he/they king who sees his gender as whatever the person viewing him thinks… but in a nonbinary way … probably knew being gay and trans was a thing but it was 2001 so.. gold experience is very quiet mostly bc they both had to learn to be and ge materialised knowing this. giorno gives you the aame kind of stares cats do where they observe and their eyes r very wide. gold exp also does this. she is always listening to everything i feel like it can talk but it doesnt do so much. requiem flip flops between “please say something im getting scared” and “sweet man made horrors i can comprehend perfectly!” no inbetween. no one wants to hear what it has to say. please do not turn our universe into a flat plane. if gold exp is around someone giorno fws like bucci gang itll just sit behind them and watch, occasionally swatting at their clothes or shoes like a cat.

jolyne - LOOOOVE MY BABYGIRL. shes either bisexual w a fem lean, pan or lesbian IDGAFFF. cis woman and shes dating ermes. her hair buns move like animal ears they stick up when shesninterested they droop when shes sad they fluff when shes scared or angry. just as autistic as her father except she actually has some social skills meanwhile jotaro astands like the moyai emoji. very very talkative her special interest is probably fashion but also sumn fun like a niche sport. she yaps and yaps and yaps and sometimes she gets so excited she might unravel herself ooops … speaking of string stone free doesnt really present as her body much, choosing to just be blue strings like jokyne wants. she can talk, just doesnt unless its to jolyne and even still she prefers just sayijgnora. if you put her joot and josuke in a room together their atands will sit in a corner and just make noises at each other hur you bet the stand gossip goes crazy .. shes such a girls girl i genuienky loge her like she gives off girl yoo think is really evil and mean at first but turns out shes so nice and its like duh she was never mean just assertive

ill do the rest later im sleeby goodbugnth ill edit tkmorrow

[azhdarchidae]

Vent/diary/tmi . Donot read this if youve been to my house or live in my house you will not enjoy it. You know who yous ares

I fell asleep to the smiths last night and the night before that it was the paper chase so i think that counts for progress. But god i am going off the deep end i feel totally out of control and lost. I can wrangle myself enough to shower take care of responsibilities ykno do the practical functional things but in my emotional life? Hoo boy. I didnt follow my weed plan friday or saturday nights, also i got drunk both those nights. Last night i was responsible tho and went down to my next lower weed dosage even though it was a bitch. Its like ive been seeking out the most intense possible experiences good and bad. I wanted to start to cope with the breakup in the healthy way but i dont feel able to stop this. And i dont know what to do about my boytoy bc that crush is not going away. Im turning the tide on convincing myself its not a good idea to date him (hes got a messy room. not as sensitive as i'd need. not on my gore-eroticism wavelength) but i still get those pangs in my body for him. Im stubborn as hell and i think my feelings are too and the harder i fight them the harder they stick around. And he makes my heart full and he makes it hurt and its all mixed up with my feelings about my ex and about my high school best friend who i was always into but too shy to make a move. Boytoy...well less now that i know him better, boytoy is more sunshine on the inside less teen angst, but he really reminds me of the high school guy. Im genuinely lost on what to do, i know the smart thing is to take space but i cant bring myself to do that, the dumb thing would be to pine pine along and fall deep into that heartbreak and unwantedness and shameful desire like i want to all over again, and it isnt smart either to be keeping on how im going, just forcing myself to act casual around him when this giant unacknowledged thing pushes everything else out of my chest & my head when i see him til i can barely keep track of what he's saying sometimes cause of how bad i want him. Ok honestly i need to get laid but im a traumatized demisexual transgender so thats an ordeal of itself, i cant just go and hook up and be satisfied try as i might, it takes time for me to build a satisfying sexual relationship. Oh and guess who im furthest along on that process with right now, who's my best shot at getting laid in the near future? Yes thats right the guy im trying not to be in love with! AGHHH

At least hes emotionally oblivious/doesnt know me as well as high school boy did so he cant recognize & be repulsed & driven away by how disgusting much i want him. How loud the urge in me gets to pin him down and make him sing. I had too much shame to ever even fantasize about high school boy, i just got flashes of impulses when i noticed his big hands or saw him with his shirt off. I think the only time i touched myself over him was that night we went to a concert and got contact high from everyone smoking weed around us and cuddled and touched each others hair in the backseat of my dads car. A few days before i left town i had a sleepover and shared the bed with him and woke up to him tucked into me little spoon and didnt move an inch, not even when the rest of the house woke up, only when he woke up enough for me to be self conscious again. I'll never know if he moved to me in his sleep thinking of his girlfriend or just instinctually seeking out a warm body or if it was deliberate. (Or if it was all me, i never considered that before, if all my horrible longing came out for a last unconscious goodbye.) I could never get a hold of him to talk once i moved away. I cant bring myself to try very hard when he hasn't made the effort either.

Why do i want that hurt again and again and again? Why is it easier to hover in that in between than to be with someone who wants me back? Why do i keep fucking putting myself in this situation of mismatched affection and why cant i seem to get out of it of my own volition? Why can't things ever just be simple and good why does love just keep hurting me

[makiema]

girl .. i love the way u're not a sakura hater !! most ppl i know literally disregard her character development like dumb shits, i mean yea sure she was annoying back then (during the first eps/chapters) BUT girl she actually changed and matured AND is a strong independent woman now. i just hate the way the author would downplay her character which is probably also part of the reason why ppl hate on her

boi where is that one post that says "gonna walk. in a room full of male anime watchers and say sakura can beat goku" but yeah you're so. right bestie ppl just turn a blind eye to her development bc hating sakura is. supposed to give them brownie pts or sth idk its like if u dont like sakura ur an intellectual in the naruto fandom. plus the way most of these haters are......men. hardly any surprise there. anyways, she means a lot to me personally bc that scene where he cuts off her hair in a desperate attempt to protect naruto & sasuke i watched it as a kid ykno and it meant sm to me!! she has been an icon since then but when i resumed naruto again as a teenager i was mega-disappointed w the way kishimoto treated her. i genuinely expected her to be a bad bitch fighting alongside naruto and. sauske as their equals. then that moment in the great ninja war happened when she caught up to naruto and sasuke by unlocking the byakugou seal and i SCREAMEd!!!! i was like yeahHH but then he went ahead and granted god like powers to both naruto and sasuke leveling them up by +100. so once again sakura and all my expectations were played. like. all that hard work she did to stand as their equal?? and that iconic moment w the three summonings???the. SIGNIFICANCE of that??? all of it blatantly WaSTED sighhh but im like not surpsrised, just disappointed at this point bc in the entire history of men writing women, this is just one of the several instances where female characters are deliberately sidelined bc they are not fundamental to the narrative (men writing women b like oooo idk how to write women so i cant grant them any narrative agency sowwyyy the least i can do is give them 2 mins of screen time where they're baDAsS . but also being badass doesnt mean she can overpower or stand as an equal next to my. male leads tho no way.) its like femlae characters esp in a shounen is just there to stimulate emotions in male characters and for the heterosexual propaganda which again doesnt w ork. bc writers go. so hard w the misogyny that the homoeroticism starts showing thru lol

[incorrecttwoset]

Lesson time with Dani:

I think the lesson here is that... you cant destroy your self esteem if you dont have self esteem. Gosh, this is the first time im rewatching this in days and im IMMEDIATELY REMEMBERING THE TALENT.

Onto the reviews!

My little swiss roll by a 33 year old Japanese composer. If it is not yet clear, i cannot read Japanese. And Eddy, we don't make you fat you just like eating. (omg i like eating too! Soulmates confirmed?! Yeah nah my heart will always be for my brettybae) Also, fUCK now i want bubble tea. (I am smelling bubble tea right now. Even though there is no bubble tea. Am i gOING INSANE.)

1. Kitai - Anticipation. Oh, i can dEFINITELY feel the excitement in this one. Is there a word for excitedly waiting? Or is that just the word anticipation? Because let me tell you, i genuinely yEARNED for swiss rolls with that part. Its so light and joyful, like watching a baker prepare your swiss roll as a young child who's most important worry is the swiss roll he's about to eat. Yes, there are some questionable parts but overall, i think the bois conveyed the proper emotions and feelings correctly. Its either that or my stomach is asking me to eat breakfast.

2. Gochiso - Feast. I am already getting an image of putting a piece of cake in your mouth and savoring the wonderful sweetness and flavors of the cake, icings and fillings. The way your face slowly turns into a smile as the sugar dissolves and spreads onto your tongue and the way the fork just cuts the soft cake. And the strawberry topping you pop in your mouth. Thank you for that perfect pizz. Turned my heavy romance fluff fic back into a happy lil comedy.

3. Akogare - Longing. Okay, this is too sad to be felt IMMEDIATELY AFTER eating the cake. Its still fits the title of longing its just wOAH OKAY EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH EXISTS. If this was set like a story thing, i feel like this takes place after our protag has left the bakery and has lost the sweet taste of swiss roll cake from his lips. And started to yearn once again for more, the faint flavors of his tongue reminding him of a happier time. A time with swiss roll cake...

Damn now i want swiss roll.

Aviolintango by Lorezno Gutierrez. wOAH THIS ONE SOUNDS EPICCCCCCCCCCC. Dude, this sounds like something that could play in like a fight or chase scene in a fight scene. Its pretty short but its still a wonderful piece. And that soft troll ending? Perfect. Not just because of the reactions. Because youd want it to end on an even bigger grander note than the one before it right? But, the composer decided to step away and let the cheeky spy vibes flow until the end. Please do not judge my opinion, if it isnt clear yet, even though ive said thus a thousand times over, i am just a kid who likes two violin bois and classical music. I just vibe yo.

Inspiration by Vladimir Bodunov, 39 years old. Damn. The first part they played sounded to me like the desire and struggle to lift off the ground and fly. Like, the person wants to, the desire is there but its not enough. I feel like they stopped that part near the "climax" where the tension finally breaks and it takes off. The final part to me sounds like... (a dying seal) the person in focus of the piece or whatever finally reaching the sun. And having a phoenix-like rebirth. With just two chords too! The talent and skill. I kent.

Duet for two violins by Robyn, 13 years old. (Okay flex) Also pretty nice of her to leave dynamics up to interpretation. (Even though i have nO IDEA what that means) And i kNOW THAT ITS A DUET BUT- for some fUCKIN reason, its giving me quartet vibes. And i dONT. KNOW. WHY. IS THE PIECE JUST THAT GOOD. (Lol probabky just heard a quartet playing something like this and my memories were instantly. Unlocked.) I guess it gives me vague schubert or schumann vibes. I forgot which one had a lot of chamber music. BASICALLY WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY IS. It nice. Me like. (Tiny claps)

Flying Fledglings by Anastasia Loiko, 14 yrs old. (Please stop flexing. I already know im uSELESS) It sounded very smooth, in the way that the first few bars personally sounded like a strange... denial despair troubked feeling feeling, ykno? That typa tension, when youre still riled with emotion. And it transitioned over to a more uplifting feeling like yeah, it might not be with us anymore but its probably gone to a better place. It sounds like a person slowly letting go of their saddness, and even though there was some rocky parts (not just from the bois playing OOP-) they still accepted that its not there anymore and learned to live wih that saddness. Ykno? (Or I'm overthinking this too much because of too much angst fics and depression things. Personal life bABEY. IT COMPLI.)

Undicht by Jiro Yoshioka, 20 yrs old. Omg, i LOVE this. The first violin part on its own sounds like some kinda James Bond spy theme. BUT THEN THE PIZZ- OMG its sounds like sUCH a whimsical spy theme oH MY GOD AHAHAHA (i mean it kinda morphs into a more chill and serious part after that but like cMON. THE WHIMSY. I KENT-) And aCHK Eddy's lil hip shake i cANNOT. THIS IS JUST SUCH A FUN PIECE TO LISTEN TO AHAH

[seongwhy]

yeosang as your boyfriend

hes so pretty

you get lost in his eyes

and his pretty face just captivates you

he just catches you staring at him

and he !!!!!!!!!!

but tbh he does the same to you

hes also crazy salty

he rants to you about everything anyone does ever

yall would highkey shit talk everyone

yall: "ugh did u see mingi today"

mingi: "what?"

yall: "NOTHIN!!!!! LMAO HEHE!!"

mingi:

he pretty shy but gives no fucks whatsoever when it comes to sass

sometimes he just calls u a dumb bitch lmao

but you're his dumb bitch <333

.........thanks yeosang

he makes you laugh with his uncontrollable bitching

hes quiet right so he hears everything

tells you all the gossip

"so he did this but GUESS WHAT she wa-"

he knows all the tea but will NEVER spills it to anyone but you

he tells you what he feels when he feels it

he doesnt see any reason to hide his emotions from you

and he appreciates when you do the same

he always knows what to say

you're sad? hes empathetic as hell

you need advice? hes your therapist now

you're excited? he'll hype your ass up

he loves u fam

he does get a lil embarrassed at times

doesnt really expect pda or kissing in front of the boys

but sometimes you kiss him randomly

he gets all blushy

"tomato headass" - wooyoung 2k19

looks down w a smile on his face bc of how embarrassed he is but also bc of how cute you are

then when he finally looks up at you he kisses ur cheek and hugs u and tells u he loves u

no he adores you

he really do

nsfuwu

intelligence turns him on

you say some smart shit and oh???

"the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" yeosangs on his damn knees

he wild with sex

his fuck boy jumps out

dirty talking, dirty pics, dirty sex

he lives for back talk from you

purposely tries to rile you up

teases you constantly

"oh my GOD just fuck me already" "oh sweetheart, I dont know if you're ready"

continues to fucking tease you

he needs talking during sex or else he gets ??? like bored ???

he needs begging and praising and witty words to make him fuck you harder

he loves fucking you

he loves when you ride him

and kiss his neck and suck his fingers

he was a little shy when yall first started but after a while

boy were u in for it

hes unrestrained, eager and hungry for dat puss puss

sorry i-

he just loves knowing u feel good

and he wants to feel good too ykno

so hes definitely into 69-ing

foreplay is a massive part of sex

he cant live without a good suck

but actual sex is so hhdfhdhdhfdn ykno

he doesnt for that many rounds but he makes it count

you be feeling good ! cuz his dick be working ! his dick works the hardest ! just for you !

yeosang is his name and fucking you is his game

n e ways aftercare is super cute and hes such a gentleman

he prob licks his cum off u first

but after that he showers you with kisses

and if you tell him you did a good job he gets all blushy again

and yall shower together and he washes your hair

and carries you back to the bed

sings you to sleep

awww yeosangieeeeeeee

what a fucking bf he is man

[lavellane]

A-Z HEADCANONS // DUNCAN THEIRIN

i was tagged by @nordxz thanks so much tash !! i'm gonna answer this for duncan, my babey and the next gen son of alistair and ella cousland 😊😚😘

i snappped while answering these and accidentally wrote 6 pages and almost 4k words so uh. loooooong infodump ahead.

Alignment: What would be their D&D alignment? How might it come into play?

duncan very easily falls into the lawful neutral category, like i dont rly need to give his alignment too much thought unlike with some of my other ocs. duncan is.....hmm. hes a very KIND person, generous and selfless, and tries his best to make people happy, but i wouldn’t necessarily say he's good, considering a lot his issues lie with his inability to act, or stand up to others. he’s guilty of very blindly following the law, or other people's ideas of what's right, and he doesn't really feel confident enough to rely on his own conscience for most things. so i'd say while he tries to do the right thing and act within the law, sometimes he goes against his own values out of fear or confusion or, simply out of ignorance, since he was born into a life of privilege and can't always distinguish what's right and what’s believed ykno

Beverage: What do they most like to drink, and why?

duncan shares a weird trait with both his brother and sister where they all just inexplicably ?? don't like alcohol at all. so stuff like wine and liquors is off the table. he absolutely LOVES tea though. u know that one scene in scott pilgrim where the gal is going thru her list of like 72 teas? thats him 100%. it's his lifeblood at this point, he has SO much of it and a perk of being the heir to a monarchy means he's got a lot of foreign merchant acquaintances, so he tends to order in different blends from all over. he's a chronic insomniac, and he uses it as a crutch to get through the days some times. modern!duncan still loves tea but obviously has a stronger love for coffee, since its far more effective!

Co-Habitat: Do they live with anyone? What’s “need to know” before moving in?

duncan currently lives in the residential dorms of the college of enchanters, while he's sort of aimlessly studying a bunch of subjects he's already mostly adept at. firstly, duncan is VERY sick lol, he was conceived while ella and alistair still hadn't found the cure for the joining, and essentially he inherited both of their darkspawn taint so 🙂🙂🙂 thats always a good time. so anyone who lives with him needs to prepare for 1) him being sick obviously,, throwing up, coughing up blood, looking like a corpse virtually 23 hours of the day lol. and obviously the fear that one day he might actually die. but also 2) he suffers from grey warden nightmares for the same reasons, hence the insomnia. he can go a concerning number of days without sleeping and usually only takes strategic cat naps when he needs to, but obviously he has his limits. it's very rare that he goes a full night without waking up in a cold sweat due to nightmares so. we stan one depressed king ! oh he also is Incapable of locking the door to his apartment. he always forgets and hes too tired to care about people stealing his stuff fkdkdjdjd he would probably make more of an effort if he had someone living with him, but old habits die hard so !!!!!!

Decor: What kind of home do they keep? Are there any defining details?

honestly , duncan's house is very devoid of clutter or personal items in general, which is sad. he definitely would have a lot of decor if he could, but since his current housing is only temporary while he's in orlais, he doesn't really want to get... comfortable ykno. other than that, duncan's home is always kept impeccably neat and clean, for two reasons. firstly, growing up in denerim's palace really engrained into his head the importance of keeping up appearances, so its sort of a subconscious ritual of his at this point. but i think more importantly its because of all the nights when he cant sleep, so during the night with nothing to keep him from dwelling on his thoughts or nightmares, he really needs the distraction, and cleaning gives him something to do. duncan really needs to feel like he's doing something, like he's managing, like he's able to achieve something so cleaning is just one little way of taking ownership of his life.

Escape: What do they do to de-stress? How successful is it?

nsfw warning but uhhh..... he has a LOT of sex basically dkdkdksk u wouldn’t know it by looking at him tho ! bc hes very polite and nervous and kinda shy?? but hes also charming and obviously attractive so he doesnt really lack for interested parties. mainly he just sticks to one night stands, with no strings attached, and it helps him take his mind off things when hes exhausted or its late at night and hes afraid to go to sleep. otherwise he also has had some friends with benefits but usually his personal life is too complicated for a serious relationship. aside from that, he also reads a LOT, writes too – when he has the time/energy – and obviously cuddling sessions with his cat, moira dkdkdk

Fluff: What hits their soft spot? Does anything turn them into emotional goo?

so ik above i said that duncan doesnt do serious relationships but thats,, not through any will of his own. he LOVES love and is a complete hopeless romantic , but unfortunately for a number of reasons he's just very unlucky at love ! 😔 so having an emotional, intimate connection with someone that isnt just sex is super healing for him, since he's not used to it at all. being with nadaia is such a positive thing for him, just knowing that his feelings are reciprocated and that he's valued and wanted.

Grudge: How bad does an insult go over? Do they hold a grudge long?

i think it depends on who its directed at !! duncan usually ignores any insults directed at him because he's grown up being so scrutinized by the public and for the most part, fereldens are very weary of him so he hears A LOT. most of criticisms about him he just.. automatically accepts as fact and really buys into them, bc he has such low self esteem. but as for other people, and ESPECIALLY loved ones thats a very different story!! he's not exactly the type to start throwing punches if anyone says a bad word against someone he cares about, but he WILL personally see to it in his own sneaky way that they get whats coming to them dkdkkdjd usually he'll either find a way to expose their dirty laundry, embarrass them in public, prevent a promotion, something like that lol. this goes double if the insult is directed at nadaia or his family.

Hobby: What’s something they do for fun that might be surprising?

ive already mentioned that he's an avid reader and he likes to write occasionally, but he's also a talented musician! He can play harp and lute, and has a beautiful singing voice ! tho he never EVER sings in public and u have to be like,, a ride or die for him to even consider singing in front of u.

Insomnia: What’s their sleeping schedule like? Snorer? Sound sleeper?

well like i said he's an insomniac so sleep rly is a vague, barely recognised concept to him at the point dksksksk he also experiences sleep paralysis during especially bad nightmares, honestly he rly hit the misery jackpot and i feel so bad like hes indisputably my most tormented oc 🙃🙃🙃 so yea hehe doesnt really thrash around during nightmares but he sweats A LOT and sometimes talks in his sleep. during sleep paraylsis obviouslyy he goes COMPLETELY rigid and still which is terrifying for everyone involved lol. on the rare occasion that he is able to sleep he is out like a light lol he would sleep for 17 hours if he could. in saying that because he is also a Strategic Napper he is usually comfortable falling asleep ANYWHERE, because hes so tired comfort really isnt a concern lol.

Jaded: Do they buy into the “happily ever after” ideal? What’s their standard?

no he doesn't unfortunately 😔 or at least i should say he doesn't believe in it for himself - he's pretty convinced that he won't live til 30 and he's existing on borrowed time as it is, so he hasn't really put a lot of thought into his own happiness or the pursuit of his own goals because he doesn't believe he'll be around to see them realized

Kin: What’s their role among their relations? Do they consider others family?

duncan is the firstborn son of king!alistair and ella cousland, my canon warden. he's also the eldest brother to roslyn and bryce theirin. he's also, obviously , the half brother of keiran, tho none of the theirin kids are aware of that oof. his role, officially, is to become king when his parents eventually pass. its NOT something he wants, due to being so sick and unsure of himself. despite what his parents tell him, he doesnt believe he will make a good king and is really terrified of the notion in general, i guess a little like alistair was in dao. duncan kinda,,, avoids his duties, to the point where he literally LEAVES to live and study in orlais. he still does what he needs to do, keeps in correspondence with people he needs to, but its all bare minimum stuff because hes just. so afraid of it lol. he has a mostly good relationship with his family, despite that – theres some resentment between him and his sister, rose, but thats a whole entire story we dont have time for dkdkskdk

Law: What do they think about abiding rules? Are they selective about it?

like i said before he's pretty adherent to the rules and laws of society tho i do see that as more of a flaw than anything. he doesnt really feel comfortable stepping outside the norm and tends to accept that other people know best ! even if he disagrees he's usually too unsure of himself to speak up. that does change quite a bit once he and nadaia grow closer, since SHE is big on bending ridiculous or unjust rules, but he's always gonna be a bit of a follower i think 😒

Magic: In a magic series or not, are they accepting, or is each instance a shock?

he's accepting!! he's a mage so it would be wild of him if he didnt lmao. during his childhood/adolesence he was kinda harsh on himself and had a lot of internalized guilt for being a mage, bc this was obviously still fresh after the mage rebellions. he resented his own abilities and just wanted to be normal, but that was also him projecting a lot of his other problems as well. he had amazing teachers who helped him come to terms with his abilities, and the best of all was my inquisitor, ashara, who is kind of like a very distant, scary aunt who always had a soft spot for him. she helped him – and alistair and ella – RIGHT after they discovered he was a mage, and she was really the biggest role model in his life when it came to magic. duncan has always looked up to her skill and control and confidence, and tried very hard to match that.

Network: Are they connected to the people? How much do they reach out to others?

duncan has an ARMY of acquaintances and connections due to his family, but doesn't really have a lot of people he considers his close friends. he's super friendly and he gets along with most people, but like ive said before serious relationships including friendships are always a bit complicated for him bc of who he is as a person lol. as for reaching out, he's a very independent, introverted person and so he tends not to seek out other people unless he's close to them or has no other choice. he's very self conscious about being a burden on people or being to “needy" so he holds himself back and sometimes comes across as a little cold.

Offspring: What kind of parent would they be? Would they prefer one, or multiple?

he.... probably can't physically have kids unfortunately due to his condition, and as a result he's never really wanted to think too much about it, or imagine a scenario that he believes he cant have. but if it WERE a possibility, or if he felt stable in his own life enough to adopt, he'd probably be comfortable with just one child to completely spoil. he would be such a good father, albiet maybe not the coolest dad ddkdkdks i think nadaia would be the one who got up to the crazy shenanigans and let her child get away with everything, and duncan would be more of the nurturing, responsible one. he'd be a MASTER at telling bedtime stories, would kick ass at homework assistance, and would sing his kid to sleep every single night (until they got too old for it obviously). ooooo im so IMMENSELY emo abt this au now that i think about it

Pistol: Is this character skilled with a weapon? What’s their opinion of violence?

duncan is a very non-violent person, but he does believe that sometimes violence is necessary and will BE violent if he needs to – only in self defence scenarios though. he's an adept mage, and very skilled with a staff, but he isn't a fighter, really – more of a defensive, protective figure.

Question: How often do they feel doubt? What topics are they defensive about?

oh the doubt is constant with him 🙃🙃 he has a lot of deep routed dread about his own morality and whether or not he's a good person or if the maker will accept him when he dies. he's andrastian but TERRIFIED of the notion that its all actually real, bc then he doesnt know where that leaves him. he has this weird existential dichotomy where he doesnt know if hes closer resembling a grey warden or a darkspawn bc of his tainted blood. he also doubts his abilities and his magic bc he's afraid that the taint just,, makes him inherently a corrupted thing. he doubts himself on a more basic level with like, being a good brother, a good son, a good king when the time comes. he wants to be a good student and partner but sometimes his health makes him feel like he cant, and it weighs on him so heavily, almost all the time. basically he needs a hug so badly its not funny 😔😔😔

Reminder: How are they at remembering daily needs? What falls through the cracks?

uhh its very selective !!! for the most part he's very good at taking care of himself, mostly because he NEEDS to otherwise his health gets out of control, but sometimes he tends to prioritize one set of needs above another,, which usually means not sleeping (the most common), forgetting to eat, not letting his loved ones know when he's having a poor health day which usually results in him getting really sick and nobody is around to help him. he also forgets to do certain things like lock up his house, buy foodstuffs, reply to peoples letters n stuff like that.

Sing: Do they like music? Do they listen often/sing/hum/play songs in their head?

yes and yes !! duncan loves music altho its a very personal and private thing for him. he's pretty naturally gifted with music and gets it from ella, who taught him a lot of what he knows. he has a gorgeous singing voice (i kinda hc something similar to dan smith’s vocals from bastille!) that he rarely uses bc he only ever sings when he's alone or if he's forced to by a nosy loved one or something lol

Touch: How do they handle contact? Is their personal bubble big?

duncan doesn't mind being touched !!! in fact in most situations he welcomes it, as long as its like,,, appropriate and not some random stranger obviously. he grew up with ella and alistair who obviously are VERY affectionate people so he loves giving and receiving hugs from friends and he doesnt flinch or feel weird about just? random natural touches or anything. his ~love language~ is also physical touch so he LIVES for cuddling with nadaia and holding hands and anything like that. however !!! his little sister rose HATES being touched by virtually anybody and in any capacity, so he's very aware that not everybody is okay with touch, and is always careful and considerate of other peoples boundaries. he usually waits for the other person to make the first move, or simply asks them first !

Upcoming: How much do they think of the future? Do they make long-term plans?

he doesn't at all 😔 i mentioned this before but he doesn't see himself living very long, and its really impacted his outlook on life. he is afraid to commit to a lot of things, even if its something he really, truly wants, because he doesn't want to get his hopes up for things. it also keeps him from forging positive relationships. a lot of it has to do with him just being overly polite, but he refuses to make the first move with anything, or communicate what HE wants out of something. for example, his relationship with nadaia could have progressed so much faster if he had just,,, told her what he wanted. she had to make a lot of the first moves in the relationship because he just,, doesnt know how to take chances i guess !!! we love a Deeply Flawed king

Vice: What bad habits do they have? Is there something they would be ashamed of?

Some harmless ones are ; him talking to his cat constantly dkdskd also he has very poor time management skills so he's almost always a few minutes late, forgetting to lock his stuff up, and slouching, probably !!! some more serious ones would be like,, having sex with strangers as a coping mechanism lol, not speaking his mind and instead just letting himself be a doormat, also INTENSE avoidance of his problems (moving away to orlais for 9 years to avoid his fear of being king for example 🙃) tho i guess they fall under the same category oof.

Wardrobe: What’s their fashion style? Do they have any staple pieces?

duncan dresses nice, for the most part !!! again, it's mostly to do with growing up in court and having to keep up appearances, but also hes just. a nice bisexual boy who wants to take care of himself ykno, and that includes hygiene/clothing/grooming etc ! he's maybe a bit TOO reserved tho, he mostly wears dark colours like blacks, greys and brows, but hes been known to wears reds/blues/whites as well, and there’s a lot of subtle yet beautiful details on his more formal attire that might go unnoticed by a casual eye. a lot of his clothes are specifically tailored but he's also fond of big oversized sweaters for when hes just hanging out ! he's got a not great relationship with his body lol so he usually dresses very conservatively, with long sleeves and pants and usually more than one layer, but hes also a thot so !!! pants be TIGHT dksksksks

X-Ray: How’s their health? Any problem areas? Do they take care of themselves?

Djdjdksksndjddjkekdidksjs OKAY WELL if u have read this far than obviously u kno the answer to this question. if ur just skimming tho first of all ur valid ! second of all duncan is VERY sick. he was conceived when ella and alistair where still searching for the joining cur, so basically he inherited the darkspawn taint x 2 and nearly died a bunch of times as a baby/young child. obviously idk how the cure storyline is gonna resolve but my hc is that bc the darkspawn taint is something he was BORN with, not just something that happened to him via ritual, his body is much more impacted by it so even if they are able to find a cure, it wouldnt work THAT well and his health would still suffer bc of the prolonged damage. so physically, he deals with a LOT – intense migraines, insomnia, nausea, fatigue, problems with breathing and fevers and stuff. obviously mentally hes.... not doing great either, tho he’s trying his best. sometimes his insomnia gets so bad he starts hallucinating visions from his darkspawn nightmares, and sometimes he just feel paranoid in general that he's actually an Evil Darkspawn and hes just somehow managed to convince everyone hes a normal person – sort of a weird blend of imposter syndrome and body dysmorphia its. complicated. anyway he has very low self esteem and tends to think hes a huge inconvenience to everybody, and when he was a teenager he went thru a period where he was very suicidal, and ANGRY and afraid 😔 he’s doing better though, now that he has learnt how to manage most of his symptoms and he's not suffering in denerim court. nadaia is also a huge help, though he tries not to become too heavily reliant on her, since he's had bad experiences with depending too much on other people.

Yack: What’s their favorite thing to talk about? What do they go on about?

skskdkdk im already crying hehe 🙂 duncan is so introverted and self conscious of being “Too Much" for other people so he tends to keep his thoughts/interests to himself and stick w just. boring small tall or non invasive questions relating to the other person. BUT if u show an interest and he trusts u then oh boy. hes an absolute dork. he loves talking about magic and having really intense conversations abt the technical sides of it (he and dorian would get along SO well) but he also loves history !!!! before he began studying at the college of enchanters he received multiple ??? qualifications?? (idk if thats the right term but u kno) from the university of orlais, one of them being orlesian and ferelden history. also anything to do with the grey wardens, the blights and darkspawn for personal reasons obviously. He's a VERY good storyteller so he somehow finds a way to make even the dryest topics seem very compelling and Cool – varric would be proud !! he finds the orlesian Great Game fascinating, and he enjoys sharing wild anecdotes about the things he's seen asshole nobles get up to. thats always thrilling skdksksk ALSO. He has a secret interest in necromancy and the mortalitasi (its only a secret bc hes the heir and that wouldnt look ... great lol ) but he only ever really talks about that with nadaia, who finds that stuff almost as interesting as he does. also, finally, he loves talking about nadaia 😊😊😊😊 hes the type of guy who will always namedrop “my girlfriend" into any conversation, loves telling people about her accomplishments and how Cool she is ..... he loves her a Lot is what im getting at sksksks

Zodiac: What’s their astro sign? Does it fit? What would you pick, if it’s unknown?

duncan is a pisces babey like his mother !!! tho he could also be a virgo but,,, i think for now pisces works better for him. he's very smart and introspective and creative, but he has some issues with critical thoughts, avoidance and melancholy like ive mentioned. also pisces is a water element so i guess that makes even more sense, since hes an ice mage 👌👌👌

okay !!! im done !!! i cant believe i wrote all that but i guess if u didnt know abt duncan before, u absolutely do now dksksks im so sorry to anyone who actually read thru all of this, u really are braver than the troops

[rint4rous]

meeting the parents: karmelle

(this is so long hhhh)

karma met the (step)mom first

he already sorta met her in the summer trip since she was one of the assassins in the hotel

but they properly met when he comes over anielle’s house after school

as anielle unlocks the door karmas ready for her little siblings running up to her and welcoming her home and saying hi to him

but to his surprise its a woman with her arms crossed thats there when they walk in

wowie ! its arime kiriya !

anielle seems unbothered and ignores that her mom looks mad as shes taking off her shoes

“didnt know youd be home today”

“daichi says you skipped training for a week again.”

“daichi says a lot of things especially about me, probably to stray you from the fact hes failing one of his classes”

theres a screech from the kitchen

“?!!???!! SHES LYING DONT LISTEN TO HER”

arime just sighs, shaking her head

meanwhile karmas standing there like …?? um ok

as hes taking his shoes off, arime notices him

“oh, the boyfriend.”

ani: um??? no??? hes not??? my boyfriend???

“this is karma,,,”

“is he staying for dinner??”

karmas kinda panicking and his Respecful Mode is ON

hes not really intimidated, she just seems like a ‘normal’ mom to him but at the same time ..

this .. arime kiriya might be a pro assassin but before that she’s still anielle’s mom

he doesn’t really care about first impressions

so he has no idea why hes worrying now

“i usually do, unless you don’t want me to??”

“oh no no i would have insisted you stay if you said no”

anielle grabs karmas wrist

“call us down when foods ready”

shes dragging him up the stairs

she lets go of his wrist when they got in her room and shes like

“yeah um,, thats my mom,, i didnt know she would be home”

“shes different from what i expected?? from the trip she seemed more intimidating”

“oh shes actually pretty nice ?? we get in playful arguments sometimes but yeah even though shes not always at home she tries her best”

dinner time !

anielle said they werent together but arime could tell that even tho they werent tgt yet there was something there

arime asks karma a few questions as they’re eating and when karma answers, his tone’s polite and tame

anielle notices this

she finds it a little amusing, but honestly cute more than anything

when karma goes home arime says

“he seems like a good kid. you like him?”

ani, blushing: ?!??!!?! n-no

arime: ok sure

after that karma sees arime whenever shes home

he usually comes over anielles house so

but on the times that ani doesnt come home with karma, arime invites him for dinner

he says yes every time

arime always refers to him as the boyfriend though

not your boyfriend, but THE boyfriend

“you gonna invite the boyfriend over?” “how’s the boyfriend?” “ask the boyfriend if he wants to eat dinner with us”

anielles like please stop calling him that (1) he isnt my bf and (2) even if he was it sounds so weird and lame

(when karmelle start officially dating though she refers to him as karma)

karma eventually gets comfortable that he drops the Timid Tone and starts talking like himself

arimes not shocked at the change

HHH she looked thru the poor kid’s records and looked him up after they met because she has to know abt him if hes gonna end up with her daughter so she knew abt his personality and was waiting for it to show

arime’s honestly amused by him but she likes him and still thinks hes a good kid

he gets invited to their training sometimes

and sometimes gets to spar with arime he almost beat her once

as for ani’s (birth) mom, karma goes with anielle to the cemetery whenever she asks for mental support because sometimes it gets a little too much for her

the first time he went was after the incident with shiro

anielle wasnt planning on bringing him, but he insisted

he couldnt leave her alone, not after the emotional torture shiro put her through

when she broke down in his arms, he knew coming with her was the best decision, even if she didnt like the idea at first

the dad .. he met him three months after arime

karma knew that he was in the ministry of defense and is friends with karasuma, but was dealing with things overseas

thats all he really knew, he was expecting someone like karasuma

karma and ani were just playing a game tgt

then they hear the doorknob rattling ?!??!?!

out of instinct, anielle grabs the gun she keeps under the sofa hjgfhjksd

shes walking slowly towards the door gun in hand

the door opens

“i swear to god yuto i told you to stop doing that.. stop trying to scare the kids and open the door anielles gonna accidentally shoot you one of these days” arime scolds him as they walk in

yuto just laughs

anielle drops the gun and runs to hug her dad,, she hasnt seen him in months

“see! she had a damn gun ready!” arime sighs, pulling their luggage in

she sees karma “oh hi karma!! how you been?”

“good,,”

“so you’re karma? are you gonna join us for lunch?”

karmas like this is like meeting arime all over again

man he never thought his Respectful and Polite Mode would make a comeback but here he is

HHH karma: no fear

yuto: hi

karma: one fear

“yes sir”

anielles trying so hard not to laugh,, she cant believe karma just called her dad SIR HRKHHKJJKH

she and arime are silently snickering together while karma sits there as yuto studies him

“i’ll go start making the food,,” arime heads to the kitchen

“elly, go help your mom”

karma and anielle knew it was to get karma alone with him,, ani doesnt argue and goes to the kitchen

“arime and karasuma told me a lot about you.”

“oh”

yuto asks karma questions, but they arent Extra ykno

hes not Overly Protective, but hes more protective of ani because out of the two oldest, he knows anielle was affected by their mothers death most and took longest to get over it

he just wants to get to know karma

after arime karma was expecting the dad to be like her except more strict and intimidating but

for arime, it took two months for him to drop the timid tone

for yuto, it took an hour

hes still answering politely, but now hes including some snarky remarks as a joke and is talking in his usual tone

arime calls them for lunch

they all talk while eating and karma could tell the dad likes him too

hes just happy he got both of anis parents to like him

anielle met karmas parents like two weeks after graduation,, meaning karmelle are tgt now

she decided to tag along when karma went to the airport when they were coming back from a trip

he said they were coming back for a bit to spend time with him and to congratulate him for graduating

anielle didnt really know what to expect

shes looking at her phone when she hears a “karma!!!!”

she looks up and sees a woman waving at karma and a man beside her

as they’re approaching, his mom notices anielle beside him

“oh you came with... your girlfriend?”

“hi, i’m anielle!” ani greets. “i hope i’m not being a bother by being here?”

“not at all! i didn’t know our karma had a girlfriend?? since when??”

“we haven’t been together for long, but we met during our second year,,”

his mom turns to karma, “you dont tell your folks anything nowadays”

karma just shrugs

anielle shares brief greetings and conversations with his dad, the mom talks more

they dropped off their things and anielle stays for an hour and leaves so they can settle in

she gets invited to eat out with them the next day

(bruh all of these involve eatinf i am so original)

she gets to really talk with his parents

karmas mom jokes around like “our problem child managed to get himself a girl!!! he’s a real handful, isn’t he?”

anielle laughs it off, “hes tiring to deal with sometimes, but i manage. you learn to have patience with him”

karma: Bruh

ani came over sometimes, and she got to know the parents better (and vice versa, they just dont know shes a hitman)

they really like her, she keeps karma in check and they think she brings out the best in him,, shes reckless and chaotic just like karma but if she needs to, shes able to stop karma from doing stupid things and he actually listens so

his parents arent the kind that are like “wanna see karmas baby pics” to embarass him hes thankful

after a month they leave again

ani got their numbers, and the mom texts her from time to time to check up on karma (and her !!)

(karma doesnt know this)

[tumblunni]

Random headcanon: Dr Maddiman's heart is like a health meter. Contrary to what you'd think, the normal part is the illness and the green part is the health.

Cos it sorta symbolizes..like..how 'dr maddiman' he is. I had the thought that maybe zombie type yokai come from people who cant quite let go of their past life and accept becoming a yokai. So their reborn self is sickly and twisted. Maddiman is even more tied to the place he died, so his yokai form even manages to pull off looking halfway like a regular person, and he's able to morph back into not just an illusion of a human form but an exact replica of his human self. Though only while he's in the hospital and only for a short amount of time before he starts turning back. This is usually pretty traumatic for him because if he stays too long transformed he starts to fall into the delusion that he's really human. When he was working for mckraken and tasked with eliminating you in the first game he kept getting distracted going through the motions of normal day to day life at his hospital, when he could have just started the boss fight immediately and saved time. Of course the other conclusion is that he just likes doing supervillainous presentation, or that mckraken didnt have any confidence maddiman would actually win so he ordered him to do it this long way and act as a distraction instead. *shrug*

ANYWAY BACK TO THE MAIN HEADCANON wow i go off on tangeants a lot

So his 'health meter' is linked to how much he's able to let go of his past trauma and accept his new life as a yokai. Basically his emotional pain as a human correlated to illness, and the only cure is Help Sad Dad Be Less Sad. Heal his literal broken heart!

At the beginning his heart just looked like a normal heart, aside from obviously now being out of his chest as a weak point. For the first few years of his death he was practically on the verge of a second death! His mind was so clouded that he was practically like a feral animal, spending every day only walking in circles around his lab- picking up stuff and putting it back down again, tearing every book apart trying to read it, scratching at the glass of Hans's tank, scrawling formulas all over the walls and just generally being really goddamn manic. Just completely fuckin terrified constantly, tormented by hallucinations with noone there to help him. Constantly feeling this deadline hanging over his head for something he couldnt even remember. A deadline that he couldnt remember had already passed and he was already dead. So yeah...at this stage he was just the big scary ghost haunting this wreckage, blindly attacking anyone who strayed into his territory and unknowingly destroying his own hospital in the process. His health was super bad at this point and he had to constantly drain hearts to keep from fading away. Even the other yokai who came to haunt this place were afraid of him, since he'd attack indiscriminately. But at the same time the legend of this haunting would attract those yokai looking for a good hunting ground, and if you learned how to deal with the weird dude in the basement it was a pretty sweet deal. Plus his boss level power was a good defense against your rivals! What would eventually become maddiman's friendship with these yokai began as them running away from him and tricking their enemies into the path of his vampiric rage! (Madds apologised profusely for this once he was back in his right mind)

The company of other yokai slowly started to help maddiman become more lucid. But he still had no clue who he was and the only thing left in his heart was "i need to finish my work" without even knowing what it was! You'd think that not being able to remember why he was sad would help him move on, but the pain bled through even when everything else was lost. He just didnt know WHY he was sad, which made him even more desperate to finish his work! And these other yokai started helping him with it. Even if they also had no clue wtf he was doing, it was a mutually beneficial relationship to basically 'pay rent' to the boss of the area. Madds's requirements were a lot lower than most other boss yokai, i mean he never even wanted to be a boss yokai and didnt know any of the rules about it. Didnt even notice all these people moved into his house until now! This was also around the time that he started using that IV stand, before that he'd just nom on those lil cartoon hearts like the most adorable terrifying hellbeast ever :3 The IV stand works better for gradual distribution of emotion energy throughout his bloodstream, so he only has to steal one heart a day. And then once every few days, once a week, gradually gradually getting better.

A few years before the start of the game, he met McKraken! This actually helped him a lot, the big villain dude was kinda the closest friend he'd had in all these decades. McKraken had heard the legends of some super powerful boss yokai living in this hospital, and wanted to recruit it to his cause. But he was kinda flabbergasted to find this harmless-looking doofus sad dad who invited him in for tea and just generally managed to break through his grumpiness barriers and WHOOPS I GUESS FRIENDSHIP HAPPEN! Madds never actually really knew wtf mckraken's evil plan was, he was just like 'yeah sure i'll help with whatever the something, new best buddy!' Well, maddiman didnt really know much about the yokai world in general since he hadnt left his laboratory since he died. Mckraken started off like 'ehh i'll be friends with this guy if it means i can use him. Wow it sure is great ti have such an easily manipulateable pawn!' But oops alas his heart ended up being the easily manipulateable one, and before he knew it he was (oh no!) HANGING OUT AND STUFF! He'd do random lil chores of niceness for this dude who was too scared to leave his lab, even though lowering himself to the level of wearing a human disguise was the greatest of dishonor. But, yknow, madds likes that shitty human cola and uhh yeah hmm i just need to manipulate him yeah no affection here. And also i can imagine Maddiman obliviously hitting on him by accident, he's just like 'wow ive never seen such a rare yokai before, i need to research you!!' *buries him in compliments* *also takes several vials of blood and dandruff samples* And mckraken is like "fuck am i really falling for this idiot, he only wants me for my body (literally)" "LET ME HAVE A KIDNEY, I ONLY NEED THE ONE"

Anyway this has gone off on a real big tangeant but in summary maddiman makes even more friends and happy memories through the course of the games and someday he will be able to let go of his painful past. And its just my random headcanon that when that happens his heart will finish turning 100% green because itd be cool to have a symbolic signifier ykno?

Also maddiman x mckraken is a good ship but maddiman x ex wife is also a good ship and dammit why is this random potato dad so shippable???