#like i agree that something should be done but we theres still 6 days before we even find out whats going on

[glacierbash]

ok i'll bite. who is gecko kenshi, why is she so cool, and why does she sit Like That?

The worms are flying OUT of this can. Gecko Kenshi time.

I started this Kenshi run ~6 months ago, where it was originally just Truth the bug guy. Gecko was the very first person I recruited. I went into a little outpost, talked to her, and she threatened to pull her pants down. I knew I needed her in my party now, so I ran around for 30 minutes to get enough money to recruit her.

Gecko is not martially skilled. She’s not a very good fighter. She can defend herself with a weapon, but that’s about it. What Gecko is, however, is STRONG. Specifically, Gecko is strong enough to carry a person without suffering a major speed loss. Situation 1 in which rhis was helpful: one hour after opening up the save again for the first time in months, I fuck up an assassination attempt and suddenly we’re being fought by two guys much stronger than us at fighting. Even though I have a party of 3, it’s bad. We win, but barely, and we just barely escape the city. Gecko collapses into the dying state, and Truth goes into a coma. It’s Spade (the third Kenshi freak) who saves both of them from bleeding out, but Spade no longer has a working right leg!! So she can no longer stand!!! After about 5 IRL minutes of terrified waiting, Gecko rises and I know what must be done.

I have Gecko pick up Truth and hide him, then I have her carry Spade and run until we find a place selling prosthetic limbs. Gecko carries Spade through a jungle raining acid, avoiding wildlife that can and would kill and eat them, all while Gecko is malnourished and starting to starve. She is still running at 20 MPH consistently. That is not a sprint. That is her jog. She carries Gecko into a town, buys her a leg, but—you can’t amputate in this game! You can’t just cut off limbs! So, the next best thing: have Gecko carry Spade over to a river of acid, so Spade can swim in it until her leg falls off, and then replace it with the prosthetic. It works!! And now Spade’s alive and well!

Second situation in which Gecko being strong and fast saves the day. My team needs a backpack, bad. Specifically to train their strength, but they need it. On my way to a shop that should sell some, however, I see a battle happening in the distance. It resolves before I reach it, but out charges the “Hungry Bandits,” the weakest faction in game. They will do nothing but rob you of your food. But, I’m carrying thousands of the in-game currently, cats, in food! And I know we’ll lose! Rather than run, however, I have EVERYBODY throw all their food into Gecko’s inventory, who takes off running and doesn’t look back. She far outpaces the bandit that follows after her, leading him to his tragic end at the point of a town guard’s blade.

Gecko returns to find the party bloody and knocked out, but alive. She heals them up, but just as the party goes to continue onwards, MORE bandits of a stronger faction spill out and attack the starving bandits, an all out bandit war where both of them agree they want to kill, or at least incapacitate, us. Gecko is the hero, but not by her fighting prowess or her bravery. Gecko runs, and fast. Once again, she grabs the town guard, who sprint out to put an end to this fighting. Gecko hides in the distance, staring at the carnage until it dies down, noticing that all three of her companions are in a recovery coma.

So, knowing that there’s sure to be more bandits in this little crossroad, Gecko goes and picks up one of the party members (a new recruit named Ruka), and carries her in town, and into a bed, which speeds up recovery by 8x. She goes and grabs Spade, healing her from the dying state before putting her, too, into a bed. All that leaves is Truth, but Gecko sees something terrible as she approaches: Slavers, approaching him. If they grabbed Truth, thered be almost no way to get him back, save for getting strong enough to raid the camp. The slavers could knock her out easily, but she wasn’t about to abandon her captain.

She charges in, picking up Truth, and just as the slavers point her out, she’s sprinting away. 20 MPH. She outruns even their fastest footsoldier, and they give up chase just as Gecko makes it into the third and final bed, putting Truth in before she stumbles downstairs to the bar, and orders herself a drink.

You see, Gecko sits like that because her back hurts from carrying the party. Truth may be the first character I made for this save, but Gecko is becoming my favorite. She’s a hero when she doesn’t wanna be. She’s survived being chased by an entire horde of bandits, getting shot in the head, and survived. She’s TWICE gotten people prosthetic limbs because Truth ALSO lost his leg, and she carried him. She’s the hero. She’s MY hero.

[youeverdreaming]

can we just...see what happens before we start being negative and complaining please

(edit: also this is not directed at all of you I’ve seen enough people be rude/unkind that I got upset but some of you are being respectful and informative without being mean and for that I thank you)

[iwadori]

hii i saw ur taking requests and I wanted to ask if you could do a fic with the miya twins,suna and iwa comforting their s/o after they have a dream of them cheating on her? tysm!

Cheating Misunderstandings with the haikyu boys (Osamu,Atsumu)

Word Count:1.8K

Genre:angst,fluff

masterlist

AN: This was kind of on the lines of what you wanted, but I hope you enjoy it. Also you guys will see an ‘Empress appearance’ in this work....so don’t kill me.

Osamu:

You were walking to miya onigiri ready to pick up Samu to go home

But when you got to the front door you see Osamu in the shop winding touching another girl

You couldn’t see the girl or Osamu properly because of the angle you were at

But you wouldn’t say your eyes were decieving you, so you did what you should do turn on your heel and get out of there.

You were back at your apartment and you were fuming, you were at your desk and decided that distracting yourself with your mountainous amount of paperwork that you had for your job would be better than sitting down and stewing over watching your boyfriend cheat on you.

‘How long has this been going on,’ you thought to yourself ‘Who even is she? She can’t be a worker’ since you knew everyone that worked there and the manager Empress would definitely not let a worker get with Osamu since you were besties after all.

Distracting yourself, obviously didn’t work and you sent yourself into a spiral of social stalking, trying to find this girl. Which didn’t work, as you only saw her hair and her height which was around a foot shorter than Osamu’s. ‘Stupid Osamu’ you thought, how could he do this? Why would you do this?

You wanted to cry, you were going to cry. Outside you heard a car door shut, and looking out your window you saw Osamu walking out the car with his keys in his mouth and bags (presumably food) in his hand.  

You heard some knocking, well kicking at your front door and a light shout of “Babe, can you open the door my arms our pretty full here.” You didn’t answer, you didn’t even move cause you knew if you saw his face it’ll most likely be him saying ‘Y/N im sorry, but theres someone else’ the thought alone made you cringe. You were knocked out of your thoughts with again the kicking of the door and Osamu saying with a laugh “C’mon babe all you really gonna leave a guy stranded out here, ive got your favourite too and its going to get cold”

You reluctantly opened the door, not actually greeting Osamu and just going back to your room to pack away your paper work and close your laptop. To your surprise Osamu was behind you and gave you a quick kiss to your cheek, which you would usually smile and ease into but today you cringed and quickly moved. Making Osamu look at you with a side eye.

By time he was setteled in you were sitting down at the dinner table eating, with the sound of Gordon Ramsey’s Hell Kitchen filling your awkward silence. Osamu did try to speak to you but you always just responded with “yeah,” “sure,” or “maybe.” Short simple answers that Osamu definitely didn’t like.

When dinner was over and it was the time when you two usually watched a shitty reality tv show together, you decided to go to bed early to avoid any more awkward conversation with Osamu. But before you could clamber into bed, Osamu grabs your arm saying “Y/N, what’s wrong with you?”

“What do you mean Samu?” you say with a forced smile on your face even though he couldn’t see it, you just did so he didn’t see you start to tear up “nothing’s wrong with me.”

“Are you Y/N?”

“mhm” you murmured trying to shrug off his hold, you sniffled a bit (attempting to do it quietly) but he heard it.

“No y/n, what’s wrong can’t you just turn around.” The force of you pulling away and he pulling you close, left you falling onto your bed and the tears just started to fall. Osamu immediately crouched down to your eye line “whats wrong love?” he said with a tender voice.

You shook your head in response, “what’s wrong?? Please tell me Y/N.”

“Why would you do that to me?” you say your voice breaking as the tears streamed your face. Osamu started to panick seeing you cry.

“Do what Y/N, what do you mean?”

“You cheated on me? Was I not enough for you? Don’t you love me anymore.”

“Who Y/N!Who.?”

“You touched her, I saw you. I can’t believe you would do that. In public as well” you accused “How could you do that to me.”

“Y/N, baby listen I don’t know what you mean?”

“Don’t call me that Miya, you’re such a fucking liar oh my god.”

“Can you please explain to me what you’re talking about?”

“You. In the shop. I saw you, touching her” you say scowling saying the last line as if It was poisonous.

“In the shop? What do you-” a spark flashed in Osamus eyes before he stood up and started pulling you out the room “You need to come with me.”

“Miya, what are you doing? I’m not going anywhere with you.” you groaned

“Yes you are, and stopped calling me that.”  

He dragged you outside to his car and opened the door for you, standing expectedly waiting for you to get in. “Im not getting in,” you say folding your arms

“Oh yes you are. Just get in the car.”

“But im in my roblox pyjamas” you groaned again feeling like a child.

“And you still hot babe don’t worry” he said winking at you ushering you into the car “Just get in it’ll be a quick ride anyways.”

You pulled outside of onigiri miya and Osamu begin to drag you out again taken you to the office where the security cameras are. He did something on the community and pulled up a date and time which was the time you were at the store earlier.

Playing on the screen was the recording and the incident which you saw before, but this one was a differnet angle. You saw a girl walking one way and Osamu walking the over with a drink in his hand, him spilling the drink on her and cleaning her off with a paper towel. Which you thought was him groping and touching her.

Your cheeks heated up hard in embarrasment, as you realised how you acted and how you got it all wrong. You saw Osamu with a glint in his eye and smirk on his face and before he could say anything you said “Dont. Let’s get back to the car.”  

All was forgotten on your car ride home and you decided to discuss eachothers days (skipping out the ‘cheating’ part.) However after you watched you shows and finally gotten into bed, when Osamu was holding you right against his chest (so close where you could hear his heartbeat) he said, “Y/N, although we agreed to not talk about this incident...even though I will definitely be telling Empress, I just want to let you know that I will never even think about cheating on you let alone actually doing it, I love you so much that the idea of cheating is so uncomprehendable I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Love you ‘Samu, and I'm sorry for making this into a big old thing when I could’ve just asked you about it.” you say in response

“It’s okay babe,” he said kissing your forehead “It’s okay.”

Atsumu

You and Atsumu have been dating fairly recently meeting in your through your friend Empress who was the manager at Atsumu’s brother Osamu’s shop Onigiri Miya.

You’ve only been together 6 months and you’re ready to tell him that you love him

However you being the perfectionist that you are, wanted it to be perfect so of course you had to practice on friend, Empress’ boyfriend Hajime.

“Okay so go.”

“Atsumu, I think you’re a stand-up guy and you’re pretty cute can I love ya.” you said punching Iwa on the arm.

“Y/N, you can’t say that.” Empress said face palming.

“Okay, Atsumu I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up?”

“No dad jokes Y/N.” Hajime said shaking his head

“Why theyre soo funny, what about Atsumu you’re a pain in my ass.” you said winking at Empress.

“Gosh Y/N! Take this seriously for once.” Hajime said blushing at your obvious innuendo.

“Well how did you two confess you undying love to eachother?” you asked and smiled at both their reactions, knowing that they definitely haven’t done that.

“Just say your confession Y/N,” Empress said rolling her eyes

“Okay Atsumu,” you said taking a deep breath “Ever since I met you after your brother spilt a drink on me at his shop and you tried to cheer me up with your terrible jokes I knew that you were the one for me. I love your passion, your drive your determination to make me feel better all the time even when I don’t need you too. I love being with you and I...”

Hajime looked at you expectedly, “I love you,” you said smiling “There I said it I love you!”

“Oh my gosh Y/N! That was so cute you should definitely sa-”

“What the fuck Y/N!” exclaimed a voice next to you “You love this clown.”

“Who are you calling a clown,” said Iwa squaring up to Atsumu making both you and Empress roll your eyes at the heeping testoterone filling the area.  

“Haji let’s go,” said Empress dragging her boyfriend away “and Y/N I'm pretty sure you two need to talk.”

When Hajime and Empress were an ear shot away, Atsumu looked at you with a glare. “So Y/N, is this what you’re doing now slu-”

“Don’t even go there ‘tsumu, you’re such an ass sometimes.” You say walking away “And by the way I was practicing with Iwa to say I fucking love you, you asshole.”

You already stormed off before Atsumu yelled, “Wait! You love me?”

“Of course I do you ass.” you say scowling.

Atsumu jogs over to you and says, “I love you too Y/N” he picks you up and tosses you about in the air, practically doing sommersaults, “Im so happy! Wait till I tell Osamu bout this he’s probably hasn’t told his girlfriend about this.”

“Babe, they’ve been dating for years” You said with a laugh “But go ahead ‘tsumu tell the world.”

“I’m sorry for misunderstanding things.”

“And...?”

“And I'm sorry for calling Iwa a clown, knowing he would definitely beat my ass.”

“And..?”

“And I'm sorry for being an ass.” he said with his head down.

“You are an ass Atsumu,” you said with a smile “But you’re my favourite pain in the ass.” You said winking at him making him burst out with laughter at your stupid innuedo.

Whenever Atsumu sees Osamu he tells him about how much you both love eachother, which always leads them into an argument about who has the better girlfriend and who loves their girlfriend more which always has you laughing.

AN: do you guys see the connection between the two?? Cause if you see the connection I’LL LOVE YOU FOREVER :3 Hope you guys enjoyed it, what do you guys think?

[acaciapines]

@mallowstep

woulda sent this as an ask but uh. moth ghost au wont leave my head and this got. long. hope ya dont mind i think about hawkfrost and mothwing A Lot.

under a cut bc. again. long.

bc see the thing is. if i were to do a moth ghost au. the kids are all young when she dies (at least, i think? idk their timeline, i’m assuming they’re like, 3-4 months, so, youngish), so it’s like...ghost sister? ghost sister. sasha cant see her because it’s no fun if she can, so we get hawk and tadpole, both who feel like they’ve killed their sister, both who are kids and cant deal with that grief. but like...moth is right there! she’s right there! she’s still their sister even if shes a ghost and as they get bigger and lose their kit-fluff she stays the same. she’s their sister.

but sasha....sasha just lost one of her kittens, nearly lost the other two, and now the remaining ones are talking to moth as though she’s still there? cats dont leave ghosts behind--cats aren’t trapped like that. humans are, sasha was a housecat and she’s seen how humans pace around their houses, but cats are sneaky lil guys. cats arent trapped to the earth like people are. cats die and leap into the sky and become the world.

moth isn’t stuck, moth is the world. so sasha tells her sons that their sister isn’t a ghost with them, but she’s the world around them--the prey and wind and sky.

hawk and tadpole look at each other, at their very-much-there ghost sister, and are like....yeah sure mom.

so we get a hawk and tadpole who refuse to let moth go. it’s hawk who clings to her the most, i think--he acts as though nothing happened, as though nobody drowned. tadpole is...starting to listen to their mom, a bit. he knows moth is there, but...should she be? nobody should be trapped like this. her spirit deserves to move on.

“we should help her,” tadpole says.

“she’s fine,” hawk says, “she’s right here, and she’s fine, and i’m not going to let you kill her again just because you have something against ghosts.”

and tadpole doesn’t ask again. he was the first one out out that basement.

eventually the kits end up in riverclan, and tadpole doesnt really talk about moth to anybody. like, he still acknowledges her, but only when they’re alone or it’s just hawk. hawk, on the other hand, doesn’t care! sure he’s like, 6 moons old, and moth is still stuck at 4, but! who! cares! and so while the clan teaches them their clan ways, teaches them about starclan, tadpole listens and he’s able to find some comfort in the idea. that theres a place his sister can go, can move on to. he’s always liked the stars. moth will, too.

but hawk...

well, the thing is, hawk’s not a clan cat. he’s got a clan name, now, he’s down a mother and he’s a very young kid staring up at these riverclan cats, but he’s nothing if not stubborn, and he’s clung to his sister thus far and he’s not about to give her up.

the clans dont think much of other religions. they tell hawk and tadpole that there’s no such thing as ghosts. dead cats go to starclan, and only clan cats, at that--your sister isn’t there, why would she be? she died a loner. but dont worry, now you’re here, in the clans, and when you die, you’ll be together in starclan.

“it’s stupid,” hawk says, to moth, alone in their den, “who cares about starclan? thats not mine, and its not yours. if you’re going anywhere it’s the wind, not the stars.”

“did you see that one thunderclan med cat apprentice at the gathering?” asks moth. “i thought she was pretty.”

“never change,” hawk says, fondly.

but he starts to think. as he starts to spend more and more time alone, with only moth for company. and moth is moth but she is...a ghost. she’s trapped. she doesn’t grow and change like a living cat does--at this point she doesnt even know why she’s still around. something about...drowning, maybe? it happened so long ago. she’s just happy to have her brother with her.

tadpole worries. hawk pushes him away. tadpole tells him they have to let their sister go. that they have to move on--that he loves moth too, and he misses her every day, but they’re clan cats, now. they have to be the best they can be, so nobody else is ever hurt again.

so i dont hurt anyone again, he doesnt say.

because tadpole doesn’t think moth’s ghost is around, either. he’s stopped seeing her. maybe he never did. maybe he was just a kid who lost his sister, who killed his sister, even if on accident. maybe he never was able to cope with that.

he wont see his sister in starclan. he probably wont see his mother, either. he doenst know what happens to loners. sasha told them, once. the wind and the sky and the leaves. becoming a part of the world, again. energy that can never truly die, just change shape.

but that was so long ago. he’s nearly a warrior, now. who remembers the stories they were told as kids?

anyways.

hawkpaw becomes the medicine cat.

he’s got two sets of beliefs rattling around in his head--starclan, everything the clans are telling him, and half-remembered stories from his mother, that moth remembers best of them all, forever trapped as a 4 moon old kit. and somewhere along the line these have been mashed together, into one big: starclan isnt letting moth in, because she died a loner. starclan wont ever let moth in but they’re going to take me when i die and i wont let them. i wont let them tear us apart.

it’s not easy. riverclan says he’d need a sign to become a medicine cat, but since when have the dead done that? they’re dead. moth is a ghost at his side, and she watches the flowers, and the bees, and remarks about thunderclan medicine cats that hawk can’t help but be begrudgingly fond of, if only for her. 

but he can do this. he has to.

hawkpaw fakes a sign. hawkpaw becomes medicine cat.

hawkpaw goes to the moonpool, and the stars tell him the same thing the clans do: there is no place for your sister here. our heavens are for worthy clan cats only.

hawk is still the villain here, just...in a different way. if this were a warriors book he’d be a villain flat-out, a med cat turning his back on starclan, who lied and cheated his way into this role, who never cared about anybody but his dead sister. but this isn’t a warriors book.

tadpole is the hero. hawk looks at the stars and tells them to their faces if you wont let my sister in, then i’ll make you regret it. i’ll show everyone that you’re nothing. that they worship cats that arent even ghosts. cats that are trapped. maybe youre wrong. maybe moth isnt the one youre keeping out. maybe shes the free one.

hawk plays the long game, though. gets his full name. learns medicines, how to heal.

how to harm.

moth watches him from the shadows. tells him kit-stories about rebirth.

the clans dont believe in that. hawk doesnt know what he is. he doesnt either.

theyre all trapped. thats what he believes.

he sets a trap for mudfur. a fox-trap down by the lake. then he, hawkfrost, will be the only link riverclan has to the stars, and he won’t listen to a word they say.

tadpole is the one to find out, to intervene before mudfur dies. to say hawk, you betrayed us all!

you betrayed me first, says hawk. me and moth both.

moth is dead! says tadpole. you can’t let her go!

you follow the words of the dead, says hawk in return, thats all the clans do. all mudfur did. he didnt want me to be his apprentice. he needed the dead to tell him what to do. what kind of life is that? and if you agree with what he did, how is it any different than me and moth? at least i know she’s real. that she’s our sister. the clans would let her die.

and so tadpole kills his brother with a stake through the heart.

he thinks he can see moth for a second. a flash against the blood.

hawk dies. he doesnt die a clan cat.

was it worth it? tadpole asks.

im going to be with moth, hawk says. youre going to go to starclan.

why dont you answer that question?

...

yeah thats my moth ghost au. is this anything? who knows! its certainly not in any way fleshed out, just the barest bones of an idea. i want leafpool to still get her ‘blood will spill blood’ prophecy--maybe she and hawk become friends, somewhere in there. who knows.

ghost moth man. fun to think about.

[jasonsgrayson]

Jasonsgrayson’s Guide To All Things Spideytorch

Hi guys, I know I do rec lists sometimes, and I wanted to do one for Spideytorch since I just got into it and a lot of the fics on AO3 are really great. Theres a ton of fics here, of all shapes and sizes and ratings, and in no particular order as always, so take your pick.

Above the cut are my all time favorite spideytorch fics, below the cut are a mess of totally awesome fics that you guys should really take a look at. 

If you want to save some time just look at any of Traincat’s and lamujerarana’s spideytorch stuff. They’re amazing. 

Kind, Sober, and Fully Dressed by Traincat Rated M - 8,685 words Is this my favorite spideytorch fic of all time? Yes. Is it one of my favorite fanfics of all time in general? Also yes. Are the Johnny Storm sex tape related events of this fic cannon? Yes they absolutely fucking are. Read it, I beg of you.

"Pete, my man, my completely platonic best bro," he muttered to himself in the voice he reserved solely for mocking Johnny Storm. "Come over and watch my maybe sex tape! Fun times! Just two guys hanging out -" he slammed the bathroom door maybe a little harder than necessary "- watching the one guy's celebrity sex tape! Good clean fun!" Mrs. Moretti downstairs banged on her ceiling with a broom. Everything was coming up Parker tonight. -- Or, in which Peter proves himself tragically unable to take a hint. Post-Amazing Spider-Man Digital #17, aka the time Johnny asked Peter to watch his sex tape.

Lost and Found by Traincat Rated E - 8,154 words Is it another fake relationship fic? Yes. Is it my second favorite spideytorch fic? Also yes.

“A field trip?” Peter said. “Just a little family outing,” Sue said, passing him a knife. He took it and obediently started helping her cut the crusts off a small mountain of sandwiches. “We thought you might like to join us.” “I mean, it sounds great,” Peter said. “But work is a little swamped and somehow whenever I take off with you guys I always manage to go missing for two months. My landlady does not love it.” “We really could use the extra set of hands. Also,” Sue said, “someone needs to keep an eye on Johnny.” Peter groaned. -- Peter's spider-sense starts acting up on a Future Foundation field trip. He and Johnny, recently returned from the Negative Zone, have to pretend to be married. These two things are related.

Work Song by Traincat Rated E - 50,953 words I will never get tired of this one, I’ve read it so many times it’s one of my absolute favorites. Basically Peter is Johnny’s sugar daddy.

Peter Parker has his company, more money than he knows what to do with, and the echoes of a ghost in his head. Johnny Storm's lost his family, his home, and is clinging to the remnants of his old life. -- "I’m here with you. That’s not nothing, right?” “No,” Peter agreed. It definitely felt like something, all the way up here with Johnny so close they were almost touching. Peter looked at him, at the full lips set in a slight frown, the sharp curve of his jaw, the way his hair fell across his forehead. He fit all the dazzling lights around them, warm like sunshine even in the middle of the night. “Beautiful,” Peter said before he could stop himself.

River Eyes by perissologist Rated M - 22,749 words I love it because Noir is my shit, especially when it’s done this freaking well.

If Jonathan Storm was the movie star Betty said he was, he looked the part: Hair like spun gold in perfect curls atop slender features, with eyes bluer than the Hudson in midsummer. “Normally I’d ask what a dame like you is doing in a place like this, but”—Peter cast a glance up his guest—“you’re not exactly a dame, are you?” Storm flashed a weak smile. “I can be, if you want.” Peter raised an eyebrow. Storm turned beet-red. “I mean. I’m. I didn’t mean that.” Storm huffed and shoved out a hand. “Johnny Storm.” --- It's 1933, Peter Parker has just shut down a Nazi eugenist and lost one of his oldest friends, and life in the big city is as joyless and hardscrabble as ever. Then Johnny Storm, movie star with a soul made of sunshine, walks through Peter's door, asking for his help. The rest, as they say, is history.

Eight Arms to Hold You by metaphoracle Rated T - 15,071 words I love it because it has Namor the Sub Mariner and fake relationships and Atlantis, and a really lecherous octopus, and really what’s not to like?

When Spider-Man’s best friend Johnny Storm asks him for help in tactfully declining a marriage proposal from the King of Atlantis, Namor the Sub-Mariner, the only solution is for him to volunteer Daily Bugle photographer Peter Parker to pretend to be dating Johnny at the Engagement Banquet in Atlantis. Sure, it’s technically lying to his best friend about who Peter Parker is, but the important thing is that Johnny won’t have to marry Namor, and if Peter gets some photographs of Atlantis to sell, what’s the harm? Peter thought the most difficult thing about this scenario was going to be making sure Johnny didn’t figure out Peter is actually Spider-Man. Having to pretend he wasn’t actually falling in love with his best friend never crossed his mind. Featuring fake relationships, forced (almost) marriages, identity porn, traditional Atlantean clothing, and amorous cephalopods.

Keep Throwing Things and Slamming the Door by Traincat Rated T - 7,817 words I think I’ve read this one a half a dozen times already, it’s so good/funny. She-Hulk’s in it, and she is fabulous.

Waking up in a stranger's bed is not how superhero Johnny Storm planned on spending the morning after the night before. From now on… A) No more secret hookups with Peter Parker—he's the last man on earth Johnny'd want to share a room with, never mind a king-size bed. B) Maintain a professional persona at all times. After all, he's a photographer for New York's #1 Superhero Bashing Rag and Johnny's perfect tabloid fodder. C) Keep friends close but enemies closer. Easier said than done, with She-Hulk away on her honeymoon and Spider-Man avoiding him.

The Boy From New York City by Traincat Rated E - 84,499 words I really love this one. Of all the fics on this list I would say this is a spideytorch must read, a true classic.

Central City, California is beautiful, but it’s not where Johnny wants to be – and he’s not who he wants to be, either. Inspired by the recent return of Spider-Man, Johnny convinces the newly minted Fantastic Four to return to the Baxter Building, the site of the incident that gave them their powers. But not everything is what it seems, and worse yet, Spider-Man wants nothing to do with the Human Torch. In the wake of Gwen’s death, Peter has finally put the mask back on, but nothing’s the same as it once was, and the thrill has gone out of Spider-Man. The Fantastic Four’s arrival only makes everything worse. The Human Torch is good looking, he’ll give him that much, but Peter has no plans of making friends. A series of strange attacks and a fateful encounter on the docks may not leave him much choice.

‘cause I can’t compete with your boyfriend (he’s got 27 tattoos) by Traincat Rated T - 13,495 words Who doesn’t love a high school au? I know I do. 

The thing was, Peter was stuck with Johnny forever, basically. The super glue of unintentional friendship. It was cosmic, fated, and incredibly annoying. Johnny Storm might have been a handbasket of bad decisions and personality defects wrapped up with an incredible smile, but he was Peter’s handbasket of bad decisions -- of which Daken was still the worst one Johnny had ever made, and Johnny had made some truly bad decisions. -- Johnny dates Daken, Peter has a crisis, and everything works out okay in the end.

All That We Were by paramountie Rated G - 10,298 words Here’s a super cute stuck in an alternate universe kid fic, if that’s your thing (It sure as hell is mine).

“What do you think the deal is anyway?” Peter asks. “My money’s on dreamscape.” “Twenty bucks says it’s an alternate universe.” “Nuh-uh, pal. It’s a dream for sure. Or a nightmare.”

The Spider Prince and the Morning Star by Traincat Rated M - 24,337 words Every ship needs a great fairytale fic, and this is a phenomenal fairytale fic. It’s sort of a Beauty and the Beast/Eros and Psyche tale and I loved it so much.

“Folks like to say there’s a monster that lives in the forest,” Old Swenson said the next day when Johnny told him his story. Johnny worked in his shop, when Swenson could afford to pay him. He fixed things, clocks and broken carriages. Johnny wasn’t good for much, but he had a hand for repairs. “And that it’ll grant you wishes, for a price. Folks will say anything, after a drink or five. Don’t listen to that kind of foolish talk, Johnny.” When Johnny makes a deal with the monster that lives in the woods – himself for his sister’s happiness – he doesn’t expect the giant spider to take him to a beautiful castle, or to reveal himself a cursed prince. There’s only one catch: he’s only a man in the darkest night, and Johnny can never see his face.

Better in Picture by weekend_conspiracy_theorist Rated T - 12,218 words I love this one, it’s freaking hilarious. It really uses Matt, Foggy, and Peter to their full comedic potential.

In which Peter Parker has no interest in sleeping with Matt Murdock, no matter what anyone seems to think.

you keep me hanging on by lamujerarana Rated E - 19,031 words Here’s a great friends with benefits to lovers fic, because there must always be at least one.

Johnny, reeling from his breakup with Medusa and the loss of his entire family, turns to Peter for comfort...that eventually involves casual sex that isn't so casual for Johnny, since he just so happens to be in love with Peter. Everything becomes incredibly complicated. This story takes place between the events of Inhumans vs X-Men #6 and Uncanny Avengers v3 #20.

Always Glad You Came by aloneintherain Rated T - 13,290 words Mistaken Identity or boys being dumb, take your pick.

Spider-Man is a relatively new, controversial vigilante, and Johnny has a crush the size of the Empire Building. The Four - operating under the assumption that Spidey is an adult - do not approve. “I just happen to think Spider-Man's cool,” Johnny says, matter-of-factly. “A hero can think another hero is cool without making it weird. I admire his aloofness. And his badass-ness.” “His aloofness,” Ben repeats, chuckling into his mug of beer. It’s roughly the size of Johnny’s head. “Yeah, sure, I bet that’s all your admire, right?”

When Peter Met Johnny by Measured Rated T - 14,437 words A paparazzi fic!

Peter takes up additional paparazzi work to pay the bills, which inevitably leads to an angry flaming man, a broken camera, an accidental friendship and a whole lot more than he bargained for.

Tied to the Wait and Sees by Mizzy Rated T - 14,283 words This is hilarious, poor Johnny’s trying his best. 

Johnny Storm's in love. With Spider-man. Except no one seems to even believe Johnny when he tells them. Everyone thinks he's totally joking. What a buzzkill. Even his bff doesn't react supportively, which is rude, disrespectful, and completely awkward when Johnny walks into a time anomaly and wakes up in the future married not to his beloved Spider-man, but to Peter Parker. Huh, no wonder Parker reacted so badly to the news.

Say You Will, Say You Won’t by Traincat Rated T - 15,563 words Peter in this one is hilarious, it’s perfect characterization.

Johnny Storm found him on a Friday afternoon, wearing the kind of beseeching look that filled Peter with dread. “I need to ask you a favor,” he said. “No,” Peter said, swinging away. -- Peter and Johnny get married, really-not-really.

Tales From The Black Pages by Traincat Rated T - 19,019 words A soulmate words fic, because, again, there must always be at least one. And it’s a really great one, too. 

Peter Parker was born with his words. Johnny Storm's been sure his will be said sarcastically since he was a child. Everything else more or less happens according to plan. A first words soulmate AU.

Weaving Spiders Come Not Here by Mizzy Rated T - 13,809 words Mistaken identity or boys being dumb, I think I can guess which one it is. 

People are treating Peter oddly. Really oddly. It turns out they're being nice to him because they think his boyfriend cheated on him. …with Spider-Man. It's honestly quite tiring pretending to be jealous of yourself.

Peter Parker’s Guide to Secret Identities by coocoocachu Rated T - 93,789 words Johnny is a teen heartthrob, enough said. 

“Oh wow, it’s the Human Torch, Johnny Storm.” MJ whispered to Peter. Peter just hummed back. Maybe it was a little childish to be upset but he totally had that thing with the weird mutant moth under control last night. Peter leaned against the wall while MJ milled around talking to people trying to figure out what the big scoop was here. ‘There always has to be a reason for an exclusive, Peter!’ she had said. Yeah, Peter thought, and the reason is Johnny Storm loves the attention. Peter fiddled with his camera. Action shots were more his thing, particularly somehow managing to take action selfies of himself as Spider-Man or a few of his supercharged enemies. Pictures of egotistical superhero’s shirtless? Not really his area.

stranger danger by I_mNotYourEnemy Rated T - 10,600 words Mistaken identity or boys being dumb 3: Grindr Identity

pete is this a bad time to ask who this is?? Hothead Is this not Grindr Peter? pete nope Hothead Ahhh fuck Sorry for the unsolicited dick pic pete that’s alright, ive seen worse -- In which Johnny gets a username wrong, Peter gets a dick pic, and MJ gets a headache just thinking about the situation.

Turn Me On, Turn Me Off by blue_jack Rated E - 5,158 words Honestly the summary speaks for itself here.

“I have. A vibrator. Stuck. In my ass,” Johnny said, enunciating clearly and concisely while staring him straight in the eyes, and Peter didn’t know who was blushing harder, but he was sure they were in a race to see who could match the color of his mask first.

Flip a Coin - Choose Both Sides by the_overlord Rated T - 10,993 words Johnny is president of the Spider-Man fanclub. Just- that’s it. 

Wherein Johnny Storm gets given a wrong number and ends up the President of Spiderman's fanclub. Things get a little more complicated from there.

Tanglewood Tree by amaronith Rated E - 6,901 words Another fuckbuddies to lovers au.

but love is a light in the sky, and an unspoken lie, and a half whispered prayer Or: what happens when Johnny becomes fuck buddies with the guy he's been in love with for years.

let the choir bell sing by gottalovev Rated E - 16,457 words Another fake relationship, this one set abroad in Venice.

Johnny and Spider-Man are on assignment at the Carnival of Venice, and asked to be present at an influential politician's costumed party. When he becomes worried that said politician wants to match him up with his daughter, Johnny announces he's secretly married to Spider-Man. They can totally fake being secret husbands for a few days! Not a problem, not even when they have to share a bed. After all, they are good buddies; it's not as if Johnny would have to sleep with someone he has a crush on, like Peter Parker.

Stay With Me - by oneshinyapple Rated E - 2 works - 29,958 words total This is a great verse which is also part of the Like Gravity verse, which I haven’t read all the installments of. 

Movie nights, fighting alien dinosaurs, and falling in love with your best friend — one of these may be a worse idea than the others.

A Melody That’s Calling Your Name by gleesquid Rated T - 32,731 words Another great high school au.

When a boy gets trapped in the Baxter Building fire, Peter must make a quick choice: let the boy die terrified in the flames or gain his trust by showing him what's underneath his mask. In the end, it's no choice at all. But when that same boy shows up on the first day of senior year, Peter finds himself caught in a spiraling lie. The next thing he knows, he's got a boyfriend, he's starring in a musical, he's going to rich kids' costume parties, and he's realizing that maybe there are worse things than having someone know your biggest secret. You'd think high school couldn't get any weirder than a radioactive spider bite, but that's just the Parker Luck.

hang a shining star upon the highest bough by lamujerarana Rated E - 15,386 words A lovely little Christmas fic for that time of year

The first time Johnny and Peter meet up at the Statue of Liberty on Christmas morning, Johnny's kind, thoughtful, and supportive to Peter at a time when Peter, still mourning the loss of Gwen Stacy, really needs it. Peter doesn't know how he'll ever pay him back for that, but he's sure going to try. Or, Peter tries his best, throughout various Christmases, to be there for Johnny when he needs it.

take my medicine, treat you like adrenaline by gleesquid Rated E - 2,763 words The one and only Spiderverse fic on this list, for when you’re in that Peter B. Parker mood.

“Every time I even think about dating again, it’s like, ‘oh, there’s MJ’s nose,’ or ‘hey, she has MJ’s eyes.’ I don’t know how to not see her in everyone. I don’t know if I want to.” “You ever figured you’re maybe barking up the wrong tree?” Peter furrowed his brow. “Explain.” “Well, ya know.” Harry sipped his martini. “There’s a larger dating pool out there than you’d think. With people who will not remind you of MJ.” Or: After the divorce, Peter tries for a rebound.

Save a Horse-Adjacent Alien by Traincat Rated E - 3,915 words Poor Johnny made a terrible actor. 

He was minding his own business, sitting in a movie theater in Queens, snacking on popcorn and wondering how many times he could make fun of Johnny Storm’s hair before Aunt May asked why he was so fixated, when the trailers ended, the lights went out, and Johnny appeared on the screen. Peter’s mouth went dry, and it wasn't because of the popcorn. Maybe it was the distance the movie gave him, Johnny up on a screen instead of right in front of him, warm and bright and frighteningly human. Maybe it was how endearingly terrible of an actor he was. Maybe it was the lighting. It was, Peter thought, probably the cowboy boots.

Bring That Summer by pommenade Rated T - 15,070 words Ahh social media, get’s you every time.

Juggling the duties of Spider-Man as well as his life as CEO of Parker Industries was easy. Peter Parker had years of practice. Add in a clandestine relationship with Johnny Storm and things got a bit more complicated. Add in Johnny's Instagram account, and suddenly Peter's life is impossible.

Educational Purposes by Traincat Rated E - 5,510 words A sexy little married fic

“I just,” Johnny said, flicking his gaze up at Peter through his eyelashes. He pressed the pen to his bottom lip and lowered his voice, pornographic. “I really need to pass your class, Professor Parker.” Peter snorted. “Cute, Johnny.” “Please, Professor Parker?” Johnny continued, and suddenly Peter realized that he wasn’t just joking around. “Isn’t there anything I could do to improve my grade? Anything at all?”

[astrangeraccoon]

BNHA rambles: The quirk apprehension test

.Okay so as I said, this is a special part in my rambles dedicated to the quirk apprehension test in episode 5-6.

-First of all I think Aizawa is smart to do that3. I mean this kids are going to spend the next 3 years of their life training to put their life in danger to save other. This is a huge responsibility (that probably shouldn’t be put on the shoulder of 15-16 year old teens but that neither here nor there), and they need to realise that. They can’t be here to play and they need to be ready to give it their best

-In the same vein the little speach about unfairness and how heroes are the onethat have to try and bring back some fairness is 1) totally true,2) something they need to realise now and t3) add to what I was saying before

-As for the threat of explusion, I would have called it a dirty trick if he hadn’t been 100% serious about it and I also think it caracterise Aizawa teaching methode. He is a really harsh teacher, more likely to use the stick than the carrot. But that because he care about them. Because as he said there’s nothing worst than loosing your dream when your halway ther. Especially since faillure in their line of works mean death.

-Now that doesn’t mean that he could be a little less of a bastard when he announce it.

Now that the general overview is done, lets go over some details:

-Seeing class 1A finding how to use their quirk was pretty impressive.

-Having some insight about how smart Bakugo can be especially about the use of his own quirk was interresting, as was seeing the best performance of some of the other student.

Now onto the negatif:

-Aizawa having it out for Izuku is pretty bad wich I’m going to extand on afterwards.

-Speaking of Izuku, WTF eraserhead? You do not let a 15 year old child continue in what is basiclly a sport competion with a broken finger. You could tell me ‘but hero will have to be able to fight injure’ and I’ll answer that I don’t care. This is the first day of school, you have a medic on site who can heal him in a matter of second meaning you don’t even loose time. I mean even if he wanted for Izuku to have to face the consequences of his action the fact that he would hve been really tired would have been a good enough disadventage.

-I mean really, I know Aizawa doesn’t know about Izuku past or his self sacrifying streak, but by making him continue to do the test injured he’s basically telling him that this is normal, and that he should continue to fight while injured, and this coupled with the bellitling of Iizuku past teacher is just a golden ticket to encourage Izuku self destructive tendancy.

(Yes I’m mad about this)

-Also I know he said he wasn’t going to explain how he marked those score but I would like Aizawa to tell me how he did it. Because it can’t have been just the result because there’s no way Izuku would have been last. I mean my boy Izuku can walk around while carrying All Might (who weight 255kg) and just had ten months of extremely intensive training. Theres no way he scored this low (we only see the best result for most of the test and we know that he was at least a bit faster than Uraraka. So... This results don’t make sence.

-I mean he probably took into account the ways they use their quirk and their creativity (Bc I don’t think Eraser would be one to do a so blatlantly biased test for physical quirk when he himself doesn’t have one). But even tking that into account it’s still pretty clear that he had it out for Izuku because how did Toru even use her quirk? She’s litterally just being invisible. Same with Jirou or kaminari whose quirk cannot have been that usefull.

(On a lighter note, Yaorosu seeing that psychopatic hobo of a teacher that is eraserhead threatening their classes of expulsion and thinking he’s joking, oh my sweet summer child)

Also Aizawa creepy smile at being both surprised and proud of Izuku solution and realising he has potential, I love it

Now onto Aizawa having it out for Izuku and why it is bad

-I’ll start by saying that I understand where Aizawa is comming from. I mean you teach bunch of kids trying to becaume what is basically superpowered soldier who will have to put their live on the line everyday, and then you’re faced with an overpowered kid that visibly doesn’t have any controle over a quirk you hink he had for at least 10 years... Yeah I’d be mad too and if those information had been wright I would have totally agreed with his reaction.

(I would also like to know why he doesn’t know the fact that izuku didn’t have a quirk until like a month ago but that another can of worm that we’re not gonna open today)

-I als get the lecture he gives Izuku because it’s true that he cant go around breaking his limbs, because it WILL make him a liability and highen his chance of getting killed

But his assumption are false and that’s why I think his reaction is bad (I haven’t go farther than episode 7 so some of the reaction I’m talking about are probably more fanon than canon at this point but I’m still going to write them):

-First he’s acting just like every other teacher Izuku ever had, meaning he’s belittling him and his dream, using his quirk against him (which, while it is legal and not harmfull here, is just like we saw at least one of his middle school teacher do), putting him on the spot and tearing into him in front of everyone and while no one laugh here this was the exact same situation he was faced with everyday in school before.

-Let’s add to the quirk usage the fact that it is erasure, so Izuku must have had a moment of pure panic because the quirk he just received, the one that finally made him ‘normal’, just disapeared without notice and that even for a second he must hav wondered if he had become quirkless again before hearing aizawa say it’s his quirk doing it. (quick reminder that up until now they didn’t know who their teacher really was nor did they know his quirk)

-Does anyone think that Izuku is scared of Erasure? O r at least uneasy about it everytime it’s used against him?

-Also he told Izuku that he was basically useless and that he couldn’t be a hero. Which is what everyone told him up to now but it’s even worst because he says that ‘with this power’ he can’t be a hero, which could basically be translated in Izuku’s mind by even with his new quirk, he’s still worthless.

-And while that’s speach hurt Me, it visibly hurt Izuku too. And even if he was able to use it to find a solution that doesn’t mean the hurt is gone.

All of this to says that while it wasn”t Aizawa attention, he just put Izuku right into a copy of the toxic environment he had been raised in. Which probbly mean that he didn’t trust Aizawa at all at least until USJ, (bc everyone know there’s no beter way to show you care than nerly dying to protect them) and was probably really wary of him for a petty long time even afterwards. And by extention he probably felt the same way around every other teacher except for all might which must have made him really skittish and really tensed and it can’t have been the nicest experience.

Which make me wonder if he would have trust any of his teacher without the USJ

(Lets make this worse by sying that he can’t know for sure that Aizawa doesn’t know he used to be quirkless and he treats him that way because of that (we know he doesn’t but anxiety is a bitch and she like to take hold of the most minuscule doubt and make it seems possible)

Okay, that was a lot but, yeah that sum up my thought pretty well on the whole ordeal. See you next part 

Aya’s out!

[cozytruecrimeaddict]

I Think I Need Help (Hotch xOC) Pt 6

Alright, so 1, I dropped a hint to another favorite show of mine at the end. So, if you know what it is based off of that, I shall give you a cookie. 

But no real warnings for this chapter, just some nice old drama. 

So, enjoy <3 

I have no idea what time it was, but I woke up in a panic. Someones arm was around my waist, and I felt someone laying behind me. I slowly tried turning, but the persons grip on my waist tightened. I tried to loosen his arm, but seriously, they had such a strong grip. 

I don’t do this. I don’t fall asleep at random peoples houses, but here I am. Doing exactly that. 

As I started to regain more consciousness, flashes from last night came back to me. I remembered telling Reid so much, and falling asleep in his lap. I remembered feeling safe, and obviously comfortable enough to get some sleep. I glanced at my watch seeing that it was now 6:45. Crap, we have to be at work in just over an hour. 

“Spence…” I whispered, trying to move. Nothing. 

“Spencer.” I said a little louder. Still nothing. 

“Hey Spence, we have work.” … why am I not surprised that there was still nothing. But at least my wiggling around somewhat loosened his grip on me. Enough that I was able to roll over and see his face. 

Holy. Shit. He was adorable. His nose was slightly scrunched, and it was…. No Sam. No. Do not start thinking of him like this. Not until you figure out what is going on with Aaron. 

“Spence… wake up.” I said again, this time tickling his nose slightly. 

That finally did it. I saw his eyes open a bit.

“Wha…” He started. 

“We got to get to work.” I smiled at him. 

“Sam… I…” He was trying to figure out how we got here.

“You know, usually a guy takes me out to dinner first before I spend the night.” I laugh a little bit, causing him to start turning slightly red.

“You just looked so comfortable and I didn’t want to move and wake you up. I really shouldn’t have..”

“Spence, I’m kidding.” I cut him off. I didn’t want to tell him I actually liked the feeling of him holding me. 

“Oh, okay.”

“Now, how do you want to do this.” I started. “I can take you into work so you’re not late by taking the metro, but we’d have to stop at my house first so I can shower and change.”

“That’d be great actually.” He smiled. 

“Okay, so as much as I am extremely comfortable right here, I think you need to move to get ready first.” I laughed a little bit. 

“But, I’m pretty comfortable too.” He started, “I think you should be the first to move.” Intentionally or not, his grip around my waist tightened just a bit. 

I don’t know why, but I didn’t want him to move. I didn’t want to move.

“Or, we could both call in sick and spend the day here. However, I think the team will probably think we’re off having….” I trailed off, slightly turning red at the thought of where my mind went.

At that, Spencer moved. 

“Okay, lets get ready for work.” I missed the feeling of his arm around my waist, but it was probably for the best. Theres going to be enough questions about the 2 of us coming in together after leaving together the night before. 

While Spencer was in the shower, I checked my phone. I saw that I had a new voicemail from Aaron. 

I didn’t even listen to it, I just called him back.

“Sam?”

“Hey Aaron, what’s up? I saw you called.”

“Where are you? I went by your place last night to see if you made it back okay and your car wasn’t there.” 

“Okay, 1, that’s kinda weird that you drove by to check on me. You’re not my dad or my boyfriend. You don’t have the right. 2. You didn’t talk to me for almost a month. You lost the right to care.”

“Sam, I’ve been dealing with..”

“No. You don’t get to blame Haley for that. We were friends before we did whatever we were doing. You should have been able to trust me. Unless what, did Haley find out and you hate me now?”

“No she didn’t…” 

“Hey Sam, I’m ready to head out when you are.” Spencer said as he stumbled out of the hallway. 

“Are you at Reids?” Aaron asked.

“We’ll talk later.” I hung up the phone on him, trying to put a smile on my face, hoping Spencer won’t notice. 

“Everything okay?” He looked slightly concerned. 

“Yeah, let’s go.” 

It didn’t take long to get back to my house, and I let Spencer explore while I showered and changed. We actually started talking a bit about Doctor Who on the way back to the office, since he saw a Tardis statue on my desk. 

As we got back I saw JJ running around, getting a case file together. 

“Agent Shan, can I see you really fast?” Aaron called from his office. Spencer reached over and squeezed my hand lightly before heading to his desk. I made my way up to Aarons office.

“Okay, Aaron.” I said as I closed the door. “I’m listening.”

“Haley didn’t leave me because of you. She left me because I was choosing the job more than her and Jack.” 

“Yeah, it’s something we all do. Choose the job more than everything else.” I shrugged. “I am sorry to hear that she left you.”

“It also wasn’t fair of me to just cut you off. I blamed you because it was easier than realizing I’ve been ignoring my family. For that, I’m sorry.” 

“Aaron, enough with the apologies. I’m sorry I snapped at you when you really just needed time. I guess with everything we did, I didn’t want to lose my best friend.” 

“So, let’s forget what happened, you can date whoever you want, and we just go back to being friends.” He looked at me, and it seemed like he was conflicted about the idea. But it would make life so much easier.

“Friends it is then.” He stood up, and so did I. He hugged me to him tight. 

“Good, now we have a new case. We should get out there.” 

When I sat down at the round table, I chose the seat right between Aaron and Spencer. Maybe this was for the best, I could move on from Hotch and maybe see if there’s something there with Spencer. But part of me wished he fought for us instead of just agreeing to friends only. Like I wanted to mean more to him than that. 

“Alright, so this case we have here is a bit different from what we normally see.” JJ started, distracting me from my thoughts. “The media calls this case ‘The Northside Strangler’. He initially started his killings in Chicago where the locals were unable to apprehend him. However, the exact same MO has just appeared in 2 Florida killings. A local from Chicago is already in Palm Glade where she is assisting on this case. However, we were called in to help figure out who he is and stop him before more victims appear.” 

As we all looked at pictures of the victims, one thing becomes apparent.

“The eyes are…” I start.

“A possible sign of regret, he doesn’t want to see the look of probable terror in his victims eyes after he’s done.” Spencer finishes.

“Alright everyone, wheels up in 30 minutes.” Aaron finishes, as we all run around to get our bags. 

Looks like we’re heading to Florida. 

[denki-kami-lightning]

Dabihawks writing shit

Hawks’ writing guide:

https://waxwingedhawks.tumblr.com/post/185881407778/guide-to-writing-hawks (Go follow @waxwingedhawks)

and a few things I want to add: 

1: As ive said before, Hawks’ food addiction is probably just his coping mechanism. Stress eating, yknow? I mean think about all the stress this poor boy is under. he has to find some way to deal with it, and it doesnt take a genius to see that way is food.

2: how long it takes for his wings to grow back. Just a convenient reminder. To quote the wiki, “When he uses all his feathers, it takes at least two days to grow back entirely, which can be a considerable weakness.”

3: Just how fast he can go; “By his own admission, Hawks' strong side isn't strength but his phenomenal speed. He was able to reach Endeavor's attackers from the top of a skyscraper, in the blink of an eye (0,5 s) which makes 375 - 400 km/h (233 - 248 m/h) and he did not even seem trying, which implies that he can go faster. Hawks solves most fights so rapidly that his sidekicks can't keep up with him so he usually just leaves the aftermaths of his battles to them, while he rushes to the next case.”

4: This handy little trick that I havent seen in many fics: “Vocal Espionage: Hawks is able to use one of his feathers to distinguish sounds from the minute it changes in the air, allowing him to decode conversations and vocal information from sensing the vibrations. Especially after leaving the room or increasing the distance, this technique makes him a dangerous spy.”

5: The fact that he’s actually a little baby “Hawks holds the record for the youngest Pro Hero, as well as the fastest for a Pro Hero to become one of the top 10 Pro Heroes on the Hero billboard chart Japan.”

6: The fact that his nickname is LITERALLY PRECIOUS MAN

7: He never attended U.A and some of yall forget this

8: He’s actually a very complex character, and he knows his death is coming, so dont forget to write that. https://linkspooky.tumblr.com/post/188365405175/when-the-cherry-blossoms-fall (Follow @linkspooky too)

9: My personal {Educated} headcanon; He can’t really handle too much loud noise, so he wears those headphones.

10: My other headcanon: Hawks is kinda adhd.

and theres no guide for Dabi yet, so ill make one for you:

1: Dabi is very aloof, casually confident and kinda emotionless at times. So you really have to write him like he doesn’t give a rats ass about anything... Except for Endeavor. Anytime Endeavor or any real mention of family is part of the situation, Dabi is always mad and unhinged (At least that’s what I’ve observed from the Manga).

2: Dabi is actually kinda useless:

 https://echodrops.tumblr.com/post/177149516011/is-dabi-just-terrible-at-being-a-villain (Go follow @echodrops)

3: You still have to remember that he’s a villain, and that he enjoys playing that role. In the wiki it says that “Despite his usual expressionless behavior, Dabi finds joy in establishing himself as a villain fighting against what he believes to be false heroes. He takes pleasure in taunting heroic figures, students, and Pro Heroes alike. He even takes sadistic pleasure from the pain he inflicts on others, including the people he's murdered.”

4: His intelligence level varies a lot. The wiki tends to portray him as some kind of manipulative genius, while his stats are pretty low. So I guess that’s up to you

5: He still shares Stain’s ideology, and probably looks up to his image as some kind of vague guideline. I’ve seen so many people forget this when writing fanfictions and it kills meee

6: Touya ‘died’ while he was in middle school, so he would’ve been about 13-15 years old. {Still a baby} Also, it’s been noted that this happened shortly after Rei was admitted to the mental hospital.

7: Dabi is slim and sickly. So maybe you should have other people take notice.

8: POINT OUT HIS FIGHTING POSTURE. I cant stress enough how much i love when people write this. he has the same fighting motions as Shoto, and you shouldnt be afraid to have other characters notice.

9: This is just a popular headcanon, but almost everyone seems to agree that Dabis hands are cold. {Got it from his mom obviously}

10: Dabi’s nerves are absolutely obliterated under his scars, so he cant feel anything. Pain or soft touches.

_______________________________________________________________________

Ok now that that’s out of the way, lets focus on the Dabihawks aspect of this;

1: Unless you’re skipping the getting together part of their relationship, you need to start with its roots, which to quote the wiki “It is unknown if Dabi sees through Hawks’ lies, but it's hinted that he's still observing him. Their relationship is mocking, dishonest and resembles a constant power struggle. As far as is known, Dabi is the only villain who may suspect Hawks of being a double-agent.” So dont forget that they didnt get along at first.

2: If Dabi finds out tha Hawks is a double agent, it can go a bunch of different ways. He can get mad and feel betrayed {Angsty, and also kinda overdone}, He can cut off contact without much warning {His feelings can be up to you}, He can be a bit surprised{Or not} and be ok with it {Haven’t seen this one done yet}, or my personal favorite He can just kinda be like obviously and just string him along, giving him false information {Imagine Hawks feeling betrayed by the man he was supposed to be betraying. Like the tables were switched the whole time or something. Ironic right?}

3: If youre writing smut, I think its been made pretty clear that Dabi has some kind of pain kink. {Sorry Hawks}

4: This ones kind of just a writing tip in general, but i like seeing other characters thrown in too. Not just the main ship, you know? I’m pretty sure it isn’t just me either.

5: The height difference isn’t that big. {Sad I know.} Hes only really about an inch taller than Hawks {Making him the shortest Todoroki son.}

6: If you’re writing smut Dabi would probably play with Hawks’ feathers i.e gently{Or not. Up to you} Biting them, licking them, or whispering into them.

7: Their names:

https://griffinmcelroyspisskink.tumblr.com/post/187357377193/with-dabi-it-almost-is-a-form-of-power-that-we                                                                  (Last one go follow @griffinmcelroyspisskink)

[bma-2020]

Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

[shadedrose01]

Date Night Differences

Ship: Parkner (Harley Keener/Peter Parker)

Summary: Harley and Peter go on a mission for their date night.

Tags: Febufluff, Date Night, Harley Keener as Iron Lad, BAMF Harley Keener, BAMF Peter Parker, Hydra (Marvel), hydra base, a tiny bit of violence, Peter Parker having Deadpool energy, Established Relationship, Dorks in Love, Exasperated Harley Keener, Fluff, Cute Ending, Bisexual Peter Parker, Gay Harley Keener, And a smidge of angst? But not really? Idk, Harley has an AI named ABBIE, and theres one Into The Spiderverse reference too

Day three of Febufluff: "Date Night"!

--

"We really need to rethink our choices." Harley groans as a fist collides with his metal helmet, his head swiveling to the side with the force of the blow. He glares back at the agent that hit him, who is now cradling his probably broken hand, and punches him back, the agents body flying across the room.

"What, you don't like this?" Peter voice chimes back through the coms, slight staticky and obviously out of breath as he fights, probably kicking ass wherever the hell he was.

"Scouting a HYDRA base for date night?" Harley hears a beep, sees two red dots coming up from behind him on his radar, and deploys his mini missiles, shooting out of his back and watching as the dots suddenly disappear. "No, not really, Pete. Why couldn't Tony or literally anyone else come do this for us? We could be having dinner right now, or watching a movie." He whines into the now empty space, sounding like a child as he strolls through the dark halls of the base, using infrared light to watch for any body heat signatures around him and keeping an eye on his radar to see if anyone else is coming his way.

"You know why, Harls." Peter teases, before grunting, a crash coming through right afterwards that makes Harley's heart spike.

"You good, Pete??"

There's a pause, and then a "Yup! All good!" that relaxes Harley instantly, puffing out a long breathe of air.

"Good. And yeah, I know why, but still! Stupid old people and their stupid retirement." He grumbles, turning the corner and freezing, seeing a room full of body signatures further down the hall to his right. The main room, Harley assumes, leaning against the wall and crouching down, trying to make himself less noticable just in case any stranglers come around. "Where are you, anyways?"

"I'm right here!" Peter suddenly appears in front of him, jumping down from the ceiling and giving Harley a massive heart attack, his body jerking back and tensing up instinctively before relaxing again.

"Gah, Peter! You cant just do that!" He breathes, putting a hand over his chest plate beside the arc reactor, above where his heart is.

Peter's mask twitches, his eyes moving in a motion that Harley can tell is him rolling his eyes, and Harley glares back at him even though Peter can't see it. "I'm surprised you didn't see me, with all of your fancy smancy tech."

Now its Harley that's rolling his eyes. "I told ABBIE to only warn me when threats are approaching. You aren't percieved as a threat."

Peter gasps dramatically. "Awh, babe! That's so sweet!"

Harley attempts to sigh in annoyance, but it ends up as a breathy laugh. "Let's just get this over with. What are we looking for again?"

"The codes for some super weapon that could kill us all or something. You know, the usual." Peter shrugs, winking, and this time Harley does sigh, causing Peter's shoulders to shake with silent laughter. "They should be on a computer in the final bosses room."

Harley ignores the video game analogy, exasperated out of his mind, and nods towards the room with all the heat signatures in it, the bodies barely moving. "In there. There's about 6 people, and they're just standing around, waiting. I think they know we're here."

"Then let's not keep the party waiting!" Peter jumps back up on to the ceiling, stealthily crawling his way towards the door and Harley follows, creeping over himself, on the floor instead. He presses his back against the wall and takes a deep breath. "You ready?"

"Ai ai, captain!" Is the response he gets, and Harley breathes out one last, airy chuckle before aiming his repulsor at the door and shooting it open, going in guns ablazing.

The agents start to shoot at him, but the Iron Lad armour absorbs all of the hits, the bullets ricocheting off of him and hitting different parts of the room. He starts firing repulsor blasts at the three people in his range, knocking them unconscious easily, looking for the other three. He doesn't  have to look far to see two bodies on the floor, and one attached to the wall, all unmoving and covered in webs, with a certain spider stood in the middle of the carnage, looking pleased with himself. "Well dress me up and call me the Staples button, because that was easy."

He even does a not so terrible impression of the voice. This is the person Harley loves. This is the person he chooses to be around. Why does he do this to himself?

(He wouldn't have it any other way.)

He doesn't dignify that with a response, though he silently agrees, and makes his way over to the large row of computers sat on top of a wooden rickety table against the wall, the space cluttered, gray and dark, like the stereotypical enemy computers that you'd see in the movies. How cliché. He searches around, and quickly finds a USB port. Now, he just- "Hey, you still got the USB stick, or whatever the hell you call it?" He turns towards Peter, who tilts his head like a confused puppy.

"The goober?"

"Yeah, that." Peter pats himself down, before putting his hand into an invisible pocket on his thigh that Harley has never seen before, and pulling the small device out with a small "ta-da!"

"Thanks, babe." He tries to push the stick into the slot, but it doesnt work, so he flips it over and tries again. When that doesnt work, he groans, flips it back over again, and when it finally slots into place, Harley watching as the code floods onto the screen, overriding the passcodes and finding the information they did to complete their mission.

The progression bar is about halfway to completion when Peter speaks up again. "Uh, babe?" and the change in his voice, from upbeat to quiet, nervous, has Harley alert immediately.

"Yeah?"

"Something's wrong." As soon as the words are out of his mouth, his display lights up red, images of a crumbling building and the words 'unstable structure' screaming in his face.

"The building is collapsing, Boss!" ABBIE exclaims to him, the AI's usually calm, youthful robotic voice filled with a fear Harley didn't know it could have. "You will need to escape immediately to avoid significant injury."

"Shit!" Harley glances at the progression bar, seeing that it's almost complete, almost done, just a little longer-

"Harls, what's happening?" Peter breaks into his thoughts as the room starts to shake, dust starting to fall from the ceiling, an ominous rumble starting in the background. Harley reaches out and grabs onto him, pressing the boy close to his body as the progress bar hits 100%, the rumble turning into a loud roar. "Harls?!?"

He yanks the stick out of its slot, and yells out a quick "hold on!" Before he shoots off towards the exit, flying through doorway after doorway as the rooms start to groan around him, large blocks of ceiling falling in front of his own eyes. He doesnt focus on it, can't focus on it, he has to get them to safety, has to get Peter out safely, he has to-

Harley breaks through the entrance of the base, shooting up into the sky just as the entire building crumbles to the ground, a cloud of dust flooding the air around it. Harley flies a little ways away, the USB, goober, whatever, still in hand, clutching onto Peter with the other.

He finds a hill further up the plain where the base was built, and lands slowly, gently, carefully helping Peter to his feet as soon as he does. He retracts his helmet, Peter taking off his mask, and a gloved hand grabs onto Peter's cheek, staring into his slightly shaken eyes and scanning his face and body for any injuries. "You okay? You aren't hurt, are you?"

"N-no, no, I'm okay. Are you okay?"

Harley lets out a sigh of relief. "Yeah, I'm okay, baby. I'm the one with the metal suit."

"Hey, I have a metal suit too!" Peter pouts, and Harley instantly knows he's alright. Really, truly alright, not just lying to make Harley feel better (which he has done one too many times in the past). "...Not on me, but still!"

Harley can't help the laugh that escapes him, hearty, full of warmth. "I know, sweetheart, I know."

He sees a big, goofy smile grow onto Peter's face, and Harley cant help but to pull him into a hug, pressing his face into Peter's hair as Peter nuzzles into his chest with a soft, content sigh. Looking over Peter's shoulder, Harley can faintly see the pinks, reds, yellows and oranges of the setting sun through the trees, the ball of fire slowly sinking into the horizon, and he cant help but to grin. With a successful mission on their hands, and Peter in his arms, Harley cant help but to grin, feeling satisfied.

Maybe this wasn't so bad of a date night after all.

[peggysousfan]

Captain America: The First Super Soldiers

Here is chapter 5!! Enjoy the twists to come! 😉

SSR Bunker, 1944, December:

Its been 2 weeks since the Howling Commandos and the two Super Soldier Captains left to take down the Hydra camps they mapped. For 2 weeks Agent Peggy Carter has not seen the love of her life. No letters have been sent and no word has been given from him. As she, Stark, and Colonel Philips meet for a meeting, her stomach begins to churn. She tries to sit still and swallow it down, but she can't hold it in much longer. She gets out of her seat and rushes to the nearest toiletries, and vomits.

"Where'd she go?" Stark asks,confused; but Philips knows exactly where. The same place shes been running off to for the past week. He mumbles to himself and walks into the hall, waiting. After several minutes of standing, Agent Carter walks her way back to the meeting room, when she sees Philips waiting.

"Colonel Philips, sir? What are yo-

"I'm calling in a doctor first thing tomorrow, and you will be getting checked out." At first shes confused and shakes her head. "Carter, Do you really think I haven't noticed you running off and puking your damn guts out? Because I have." She sighs in defeat. "Your seeing a doctor. Thats an order." He walks back into the meeting room, with Carter in tow. 'Bloody hell' she thinks. And they resume the meeting.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1945 January:

"Alright. On my mark, we hit the outer base, here. We'll get in through the the cargo holds and release the gas." Rogers says. "And then once we're inside, we'll take down the-"

"Look, Steve, We like the plan. Its just-" Dugan starts to say

"Too complicated." Pinkerton finishes.

"I like Sousa's plan better." Dugan says. Steve glares at them, and then at Sousa.

"What? Its not like I forced them to agree with me."

"Right. Cause nothing you do or say is ever against me." They all share a look and watch the two super soldiers argue.

"Rogers. What the hell are you talking about? Its as simple as the other bases. If anything this one is the smallest out of all of them." Steve balls up his fists and looks away. "We get in by placing the gas bombs outside. While they are knocked out or dead, We sneak in, plant the actual bombs, get out, Boom!"

"And if they have gas masks?"

"This gas penetrates and tears away at a persons skin." Bucky says. "Even with masks, it won't help them. They aren't covered up to hell like we are." Steve says nothing, instead, they go with Sousa's plan; and it works. All of the Commandos yell and celebrate as they got another Hydra base of of the map.While they all celebrate, Rogers walks off by himself, angry at Sousa.

"Steve!" Bucky runs after him. "C'mon man, we're heading to that bar to celebrate."

"The jobs not done, Buck. Why are we celebrating." Bucky looks away for a moment and then back at his friend.

"Because, Steve, We won another battle-"

"But that doesn't mean we won the war." He snaps.

"Come one, Rogers. We win the War one battle at a time. And because of you and Sousa, we-" Steve snickers. "What?" He says nothing, instead walks away. "Steve, what?"

"Sousa." he continues to shake his head. "I... I can't stand him, Buck."

"Uh...why? Hes done nothing wrong." Steve snickers again.

"Done nothing wrong? All hes ever done is take everything from me Bucky! The serum was only suppose to be tested on one person, and then he shows up and gets tested." Bucky starts to squint his eyes at Steve, not liking where this is going. "He got to go to Europe while I was stuck dancing like some...chorus girl on stage. He got to fight and my only other option was a lab! And then!" Steve starts to pace around; and Bucky backs away a few steps. "Peggy. He tried to get me away from her so he could get to her first. He told me to not waste my time and pursue anything because he was already trying! C'mon Bucky, why the hell would I like a guy thats done all of this?"

At first he says nothing, instead he shakes his head and starts to leave.

"I-I don't know, Steve. I think you're reading too much into this." He places his hands in his pocket. "It makes sense to test more than one person to make sure it works, not everyone is the same; especially when you're in poor health. And besides, the whole Captain America world tour thing? You agreed and chose to go, Sousa was never given that option. He probably fought like hell to go."

"Or he had Peggy convince Philips." Steve argues.

"But how would you know that? And for all you know, if they are together...She chose him and made the first move."Steve stops pacing and glares at Bucky. "You DON'T know, Steven. And its not your place, or anyone elses to put their nose in their business." And with that he leaves.

"Hey, Barnes. Everything okay?" Daniel Asks. He pats Sousa on the back.

"Yeah everything's fine." He sits down and eats some rations. "I go by Bucky, by the way." He reaches out his hand and Daniel takes it.

"Daniel." And with that everyone enjoyed the rest of their evening, while Rogers was pouting on his own.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SSR Bunker:

"Good Morning, you must be Agent Carter," Peggy reluctantly shakes his hand. She doesn't think she needs to see a doctor, but the Colonel insisted and made it an order.

"Good morning," She says as she sits down, hands in her lap.

"Okay, so I am Dr. Moore," He smiles politely, "And I was told you haven't been feeling well by the Colonel." She tries to not roll hers eyes.

"Yes, I, uhm.. I have been feeling a little under the weather the last few weeks. But I don't think its so terrible to need a doctor."

"Well, its best we see what is going on, now, before anything gets worse. Now what are your symptoms?"

"Just nausea..."

"Okay...Anything else? Headache? Coughing? Sneezing? Uhh.....Dizziness? Lack of appetite? Any of that?" With so many questions Peggy felt affronted.

"Yes, I have had a lack of appetite. I'm not actually sure about dizzy. I only get that way when I stand too quickly." Dr. Moore nods his hands and leans forward; thinking.

"Okay, um....Are you sensitive to any smells? Maybe some mood swings? Extra exhaustion? Or have you missed any of your menstrual cycles? " Peggy stops and thinks for several moments. Although some of the questions seemed very odd...

"I have been feeling exhausted as of late, but I always assumed it was work." He nods and hums along. "As for...sensitivity to smells or...mood, uhm, I-I suppose. Although it never really concerned me. And my... mensuration often varies."

"And why is that?" He asks as he writes it all down.

"Well, I've always hated the smell of coffee, and being here, it constantly smells of it. Uhm.. As for mood I work in a office full of idiotic, sexist, and ambitious men; with little to no peace of mind. So my mood constantly varies. And, because of constant stress, I haven't had a solid menstruation pattern for.. several months,now..."

"Okay, uhhh... " He takes a deep breath and sets down his notes. "As you know we have a...policy called Doctor-patient confidentiality." Peggy nods. "And with that being said, you are aware that everything you say here, in this room, does not leave it. I cannot, nor will I ever repeat what is said in these walls between you and myself."

"Of course."

"Okay. So, with that out in the open.... When was the last menstrual cycle you experienced?"

"I think...perhaps, 2 months ago. No longer than 3. Defiantly not longer than 3." He nods and hums once more.

"Agent Carter, I am going to have to get very...personal with you. And I want full honesty." Peggy nods again. "Do have a partner, Ms. Carter? And I don't mean work." Peggy furrows her brow at his question. "Have you had any...intimate... relationships with anyone in the span of those 3 months?" She hesitates in answering. "I don't need to know his name, I just need a simple yes or no."

"Yes." she answers after several seconds.Dr. Moore takes a deep breath and sighs.

"Thats what I was afraid of...We may need to do some blood work, but..." He writes more notes down and starts to speak again. "I'm afraid that you may-"

"Peg! We got word! They took down 3 Operations and are on their way back to-" Howard stops when he notices the Doctor. "Oh, sorry, didn't know I was interrupting."

"Howard!? What the hell are you doing?"

"Sorry, I just wanted to tell you that they're coming back. They should be here in a few days." Her face burst with excitement as she jumps from her chair. Stark runs from the room and she starts to follow.

"Agent Carter" She stops and turns around. "About your diagnosis...."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days Later:

As the Agents of officers in the SSR Bunker go about their day, all is quiet; but it doesn't last long. When the doors open and the Commandos enter, everything is loud, many agents spill their coffees or drop their reports.

"Well, well, well. Look who Schmidt dragged in!" Stark walks to them and shakes their hands, but embraces Rogers and Sousa.

"Glad to see you boys all back in one piece." Colonel Philips comes around a corner.

"Sir, we have our mission reports all written up," Sousa hands them to Philips. He grumbles his thanks and hands them off to another agent to be typed.

"So, where are we on dismantling Hydras operations."

"Well, so far-

"So far we've been successful in every mission, sir."Steve interrupts Daniel. Sousa glances at him, but Rogers ignores him. "We've taken out 3 camps, 6 shipments of weapons, stole one of their radios, and caught wind on information about a train where Schmidt's most trusted man will be."

"Great work, boys." He claps Rogers on the back starts to walk away. Daniel glances and shakes his head at Rogers.

"Where are you going, Sousa? We need to-"

"I'll be back in a few minutes. I gotta take care of something first." And with that, he runs off.

"Carter, more like," Steve mumbles

"Let it got, Rogers." Bucky says as he walks past him.

Daniel walks down every hall way, meeting room, and every office; but theres no sign of her. He goes to the sleeping quarters and doesn't see anything. As he starts to leave, he hears sniffling.

"Hello? Anyone in here?" He asks. The sniffling stops and in the corner of the room, a head appears.

"Daniel?"

"Peg?" He runs over to her. "Hey what happened?" He holds he face and sees it drenched in tears. She shakes her head and looks away, holding her knees closer to her chest and her body tight. Daniel places a hand on her back and rubs comforting circles; normally when shes upset, this or playing in her hair calms her down almost immediately. "Peggy... whats going on? Whats wrong?" At this she gives a chuckle.

"Wrong? Wrong." She starts to laugh and it leads into a sob. "Oh Daniel..." She throws her arms over his shoulders and he holds her tight; one hand on her back and the other in her hair.

"Peg, you're scaring the hell out of me right now..." She starts to pull away, and says two words that will changed their lives forever.

"I-I'm pregnant."

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February 1945:

Base after base, Hydras operations were being torn down and blown into oblivion. Shots fired and bombs blown, and Johann Schmidt's anger raved on and on after each discovery; nothing but fire and smoke was left of these camps. The Allies and their Captains of America have have left nothing behind.

"You are failing!" Schmidt yells. "We are close to an offensive that will shake the planet, yet we are continually delayed because you can not outwit a pair of simpletons with shields!"

"This is hardly my area of expertise," Zola argues. "I merely developed the weapons. I cannot fire them."

"Finish your mission, Doctor, before the Americans finish theirs." He threatens.

"Sir!" A Hydra soldier approaches.

"I'm sorry, Herr Schmidt." A survivor says. "We fought to the last man."

"Apparently not." And the Red Skulls shots him down. He grows more furious with each defeat and wants nothing more than revenge.

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SSR Bunker, 3 Weeks later :

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I said I'm not going, Rogers. You take lead on this one."

"Daniel, come one. Why not? We get in the train, grab Zola, and get out." Bucky says.

"I know, but... I just can't." He starts to argue again. "Bucky this is my choice. I have to stay behind just this once." When Sousa calls Barnes Bucky, Steve gives him a deadly glare. "Go. Get Zola. I'll be here when you guys get back." The two shake hands and and Barnes leave.

"Captain?" Peggy walks up to them. "Colonel Philips wants a word." Daniel nods his head.

"I'll be right there." She smiles as he touches her arm, and then walks away. "Try not to be too reckless, Rogers. We need this to be perfect."

"I know what I'm doing." And then Steve leaves.

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Mountain Range:

As the Hydra radio plays its stations, the Howling Commandos listen in to what they say.

"You remember the time I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island?"

"Yeah, and I threw up?" Steve replies.

"This isn't pay back. is it?" Bucky asks as they look over the deep, long drop to the train tracks.

"Now why would I do that?" He smirks.

"Can someone explain where the hell Sousa is? " Dugan asks.

"Who cares about Sousa? Right now we have a mission to focus on.. He didn't want to be apart of it and that's his own problem." Steve says

"Uh.. we all care where he is... Hes apart of this team." Dugan responds. Steve looks away and back at the tracks.

"We were right. Dr. Zola's on the train." Jones says. "Hydra dispatcher gave him permission to open up the throttle. Wherever they're going, they must need him bad." Everyone starts to gear up, put their hooks on the zip like, and waits for the train. When the time is right, they jump, zip, and land on the roof.

The walk towards the top part of the train climb on the side, and go inside. At first all is quiet, they walk freely in the hall, until the units are closed and Rogers and Barnes are separated. Gun shots are fired and the tow commandos and Hydra operative fight. All the while Dr. Zola watches and commands them to fire again. For several minutes, there are nothing but shots fired from guns and Hydras tesseract powered weapon. Steve opens the door and passes Bucky his gun, together they kill him.

"I had him on the ropes," he says.

"I know you did." The soldier Steve fought didn't die, and he blast a whole on the side of the train. Barnes take the shield and fires his gun, but is shot out of the train. Steve throws the shield and knocks him out. As he looks out the whole, Bucky is dangling from the outside. Steve tries to reach for him...but he falls. Jones breaks into the operations part of the train, gun cocked, and takes Zola.

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SSR Bunker:

When word gets back the the Commandos are on their way back, Agent Carter and Captain Sousa make their way to see Zola; but are confronted with something else. As they all make their way into the bunker, they notice a comrade missing. Dugan and Jones drag Zola to get interrogated by Philips, and Steve goes another way.

"Wheres Barnes?" Daniel asks.

Steve says nothing, instead bumps Sousa's shoulder and walks past. Peggy gasps and holds Daniel steady.

"Well that was uncalled for." She says. "Rogers!"

"Peg, its fine." She whips her head towards him, and he looks way like a sad puppy. Ever since he found out she was pregnant, hes even more afraid of her; shes more aggressive when shes angry.

"No, its not." She walks towards Steve and grabs him. He turns around quickly; not expecting that, he bumps into her. She leans against the table behind her, and before she knows it, Daniels at her side, supporting her. She shoves him away. "Not only was your gesture incredibly rude, but you ignored a fellow Captains question." Steve clenches his jaw and looks away. "What happened? Where is Sergeant Barnes?"

"Hes dead...." And with that Steve starts to walk away.

"What!?" Daniel shouts. "What the hell-

"He fell off the train and-" He takes a deep breath. "And he dropped...dropped down the entire mountain side." Although Peggy was never close to Barnes, tears well up in her eyes. 'Damn pregnancy' she thinks.

"How the hell could that have happened?" Sousa exclaims. Rogers explained what happened and Daniel gets pissed. "Are you kidding me? Why they hell would you not go straight to the front where Zola was? Why even bother to go through the other compartments?" Steve clenches his fists .

"Excuse me if not everyone thinks the way you do, Sousa."

"Its not just thinking, Rogers. Its common damn sense." Steve advances towards Daniel, but Peggy steps in.

"Don't even think about it."

"So you have to have some woman speak for you?"Daniel starts to get heated.

"Thats enough." Peggy begins to turn red, and Daniel gently grabs her arm. She looks at him, and he shakes his head. She stares down Rogers and he storms away. She forces her self to calm down, but it only brings more tears, as she wipes her eyes and walks away, and Daniel follows her; and Steve is left alone.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hydras Main Facility:

There in the hanger sits an enormous aircraft, meant for the worlds demise. Johann Schmidt walks by it, as his soldiers stand at attention.

"Tomorrow, Hydra will stand master of the world, borne to victory on wings of the Valkyrie. Our enemies weapons will be powerless against us. If they shoot down one plane, hundreds more will rain fire upon them!"  He stand all might before his followers and lifts a glass. "If they cut off one head, two more shall take its place. Hail Hydra."

"Hail Hydra! Hail Hydra!" The hundreds of thousands of soldiers chant. "Hail Hydra! Hail Hydra!Hail Hydra! Hail Hydra!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SSR Bunker:

"You have to." She insists

"Peggy, I won't. What if-

"You can't think that way, Daniel."

"I won't be able to live with myself if something were to happen to me or you and the baby. I can't. I won't. Peg.." He begs.

"That is why you must go, Daniel. To make sure it is safe! I don't want this child, our child, to live in a world where war reigns over us all. I want this to be over. I want to find a make a home...And we can only do that if we fight for it." He sighs in defeat. "I will do all that I can. Nothing to dangerous, out of caution," She touches her still flat stomach."But I will do my part, and you have to do yours."

"Okay... I will." He places his hand on top of hers. "I still can't believe it..."

"Neither can I." She laughs.

"How long until... ya know." She lifts a brow an tilts her head. "You start to show." She laughs again.

"Not for another 3 weeks at least! Now stop trying to rush it!!" She shoves him lightly, and he laughs.

"I'm not I'm just curious and..."

"Excited?" She suggests.

"Yeah... I am." He grabs her waist and brings her closer. "I'm gonna be a dad" He laughs.

"And I'm going to be a mum..." They share a sweet kiss and hold each other tight. "We can do this...right?"

"We can do anything, Peg. As long as we have each other." She stares into his eyes and feels the perfect bliss of peace...and of Home. They kiss once more before Sousa begins to leave.

"Come back to us...Thats an order, Captain." She smirks.

"Damn right I will." They embrace, and he leaves to finish the war.

[svtmatokis]

Mingyu Office AU! P8

Hi guys!!! I am soooo sorry this took so long and thank you for all the continued support during this short hiatus. My laptop took over two months to fix (it wasn’t serious...just MSI has terrible customer service) and all the work was on here but I FINALLY have it back! I was also on tour for work over the last few months which put a dent on posting as well since a computer wasn’t all readily available >< thank you all again n

I’m so sorry you guys had to wait for this and I’ll be posting the final chapter later tonight or tomorrow (as its going through a few revisions) after that I’ll have a few projects que’d while I work on a new project that I will be revealing fairly soon.

Thank you alllllll sooooo much for the continued support and I you guys enjoy the next project! Much Love ♥

Pairing: Reader x Mingyu

Parts:  1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8

Words: 3471

A few days had passed since the last incident. Seungcheol had given special permission and allowed you and your team to have the project meeting outside of the office in order for you to rest and recuperate and also to give you a peace of mind.

This meant that the meetings ended up at your apartment which Chan and Dahyun found odd since Seungcheol rarely gave special permission like this but they figured it was so you could have some peace since almost everyone on the seventeenth floor had seen the daughter of the China head (Mei Wei) slap you in the face.

Mingyu was practically at your side all the time at the office and Dahyun had seen the immense change that happened in him. He had gone from the charming ladies man to devoted boyfriend and she was extremely amazed that someone like you had managed to make him change like that. What shocked her was that your relationship never changed at the office. You were both professional with one another but there was no doubt that his eyes would follow you whenever you left his side and everyone could see how protective he was of you.

The China team had come and gone and you were happy to finally have your normal schedule back but that didn’t mean it was all that normal.

Various associates had tried to contact you throughout their visit but you rejected each and everyone. Claiming that various projects took up your time which was somewhat true.

It was the week of your one month anniversary with Mingyu and you obviously didn’t expect much but he greeted you with flowers at your door in the morning on the first day and throughout the week, you found little gifts on your desk everyday after lunch ranging from chocolates to little pieces of jewellery ranging from earrings to a bracelet  and you couldn’t help but wonder how Mingyu could afford all of this.

It wasn’t till that Friday when he had taken you out for the official dinner (not like you two didn’t have dinner together at all that week) but this time he had asked you to dress in something of his choice and he took you one of the top restaurants on Gangnam.

“You really didn’t have to do all this. The gifts through the week were more than enough” you said softly as you sipped your wine and Mingyu gave you that cute grin that always managed to make you swoon.

“It’s not a big deal Y/N. Take it as a sign of my affection” he said as he took a bite of his meal. “Do you like it?”

“I love it” you replied instantly, “it’s just… we’ve only been going out for a month….”

“And I had every intention of making you mine since you walked into the boardroom that day” he said making you blush,”and like I said before, I knew you wouldn’t agree until I could prove myself to you. I had a reputation and it wasn’t going to help anything so I had to change.”

You looked at Mingyu and thought about his words and knew that he was right. Had he maintained the reputation he had, you knew that you wouldn’t have had spared a second glance but over the months he had managed to woo you and win you over and you knew the main reason was because of his change in attitude and persona.  

He had rendered you speechless and tried to rectify his words. “I mean… everything I heard from Jun and Minghao about you was amazing and to meet you in person… I realized that I had my work cut out for me..”

You blushed again at his words and shook your head, “you’ve done so much in the last three months and I know when you put something in your mind you won’t stop till it’s done...I find that really admirable.”

Mingyu grinned at your words and before he could say more, the waiter came and offered dessert and soon the two of you found yourselves ready to go.

As Mingyu helped you put on your jacket a familiar voice came from behind you and you turned your head shocked.

“Minghan?” You asked and Mingyu turned his head towards the voice smiling but was surprised over the fact that you too knew this person.

“Little brother, what are you doing here?” He asked and you looked up at Mingyu shocked.

“Little brother?” You asked looking up at your boyfriend as said person approached you.

He gave you a small smile as he put his own jacket on and you knew his look meant that he’d explain later.

“I thought it was you, I didn’t realize till I saw the tattoo on your back” Minghan said as he approached the two of you. “I just didn’t think I would see you with my brother of all people.”

“Of all people? Mingyu asked joining the conversation. “I’m sorry, how do the two of you know each other?”

“If you recall, one of our subsidiaries started an investment group which as you already know is currently one of the main investors of the China office. I met Y/N through VP Lu and we’ve managed to stay in touch over the years.” Minghan explained as you nodded and Mingyus jaw dropped slightly. He couldn’t believe that the two of you were friends and he had no idea about it.

“How did I not know this?” he whispered to himself as Minghan started answering your question.

“And you heard correct. Mingyu’s my older brother.” he said as your jaw dropped.  “He still holds most of the shares and attends meetings monthly since he’s still on the board. I oversee all operations conducted with the companies and we just make sure there’s never a conflict of interest.”

“Is that your monthly doctors appointment?” you asked bluntly and Mingyu nodded as he placed a hand at the small of your back but you instinctively avoided his touch and that threw him off but you wouldn't have been able to tell.

Minghan knew he had cracked open a can of worms that Mingyu hadn’t opened yet but he was shocked that Mingyu didn’t tell you anything about his family. With how much he talked about you during family dinners, he was expecting Mingyu to introduce you to the family sooner. He also knew that opening this can of worms may cause some trouble between the two of you and he hoped that you would understand.

He had heard bits and pieces about the drama over the years through Luhan and knew how you reacted in various situations and only hoped for the best.

“So what are you two up to tonight?” he asked clearing his throat though he already knew the reason.

“We’re celebrating our one month anniversary” Mingyu responded his face full of annoyance which Minghan picked up on instantly knowing he had major plans that night.

“Congratulations.” Minghan said as you thanked him quietly and he looked at his watch. “Mingyu, if you have the time, theres something that I’d like your input on if thats okay.” he then looked at you with an apologetic smile, “It won’t be long, I promise.”

You gave Minghan a smile which he noted didn’t reach your eyes.

“Of course.” you said as Mingyu gave you the valet ticket.

“It won’t be long.” he said smiling and handing you some bills to tip the valet.

“We’ll have to catch up over coffee sometime.” you said giving Minghan a hug.

“Definitely, lets do dinner instead? There’s a restaurant I think you’d like and you paid the last time I was in China so I should return the favor.” he said making you nod.

“Dinner it is. I’ll text you later.” you said walking out the door and the moment it closed, Mingyu smacked his brother on the head.

“What the heck was that for?” Minghan growled.

“You literally asked my girlfriend out in front of me.”  Mingyu growled back, “Now tell me what you need to discuss with me so urgently that it can’t wait till the board meeting next Wednesday.”

“Well…” Minghan started it only took him three minutes to explain the whole situation.

“We’ll see what everyone else thinks at the meeting. Until theres proof that there’s a gain, I can't see why we’d want to scrap the project.” Mingyu responded and stood up, “If that’s all, I’d like to get back to my girlfriend now.”

“Of course.” Minghan responded, “And for the sake of your relationship...don’t hide anything from Y/N...Yanan did that to her for almost five years so she’s probably wary that you didn’t tell her something this big sooner.” he sighed. “But then again, you were always one to leave things to the last minute.”

Mingyu rolled his eyes at Minghan though he knew that Minghan had a point over the fact that he should have brought this topic up with you sooner but he wasn’t going to let his brother know that. The two of you were friends and at one point, he probably knew you better.

When Mingyu got in the car, he could tell something was wrong almost immediately but tried to ignore it as he started thinking about the next phase of the date he had planned. He reached over to take your hand in his but you turned your body so it was facing the window as you folded your hands in your lap.

He gently tucked his hand into your folded ones and managed to pry the two apart, bringing one of them to his lips.

“So I was thinking we could go for a walk at the park by the river before I take you home.” he suggested as he made his way to said park since he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“I think I want to go home.” you said softly, looking out the window and Mingyu’s hand tightened around yours.

“Why?” he whined, It’s our three month anniversary and you want to go home already? ‘He asked pouting and you tried not to smile. He was such a puppy.

"Come on, let’s go for a walk…I think we need to talk..” he said a bit more seriously and you sighed in defeat and Mingyu could only do a little happy victory dance in his head.

When you arrived, he got out of the car first and went to the trunk only to appear on your side with a pair of black flats.

“I didn’t think the heels would be ideal and we can’t have your feet hurting now can we?” he asked as he helped you take off your heels and put the flats on, Mingyu then reached into his back pocket to present you with a single daffodil stem which had a small tag attached to it.

‘New beginnings'

You looked at Mingyu confused as he grabbed your hand, “Let’s go”

As you walked down the path, Mingyu stopped and went behind a tree only to come back with an Amaryllis and this time, the tag said something else.

‘Determination’

Looking up at him, he only smiled and offered you his arm. You slowly took it as he lead you further down the path and after a few minutes, the two of you reached a bench that had a gift box with a single bow on it.

“What is this?” you asked, looking between the flowers and the gift box as you sat down. No wonder he insisted on going to the park. But when did he have time to set this all up?

“Open the box” Mingyu said softly as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

When you lifted the lid, you were met with bright purple tissue paper and an envelope that contained photos of the two of you and your new friends from the office from the beginning of your friendship to now. You didn’t even remember when some of these were taken but was surprised at a few of them.

There was one of you and Joshua at a get together that Jun organized in efforts for you to get to know the people on your floor and you were surprised to see a photo from the day Mingyu drove you to that big client meeting and then had dinner after and you remembered Jun telling you that he and Minghao had seen the two of you together that night so one of them must have taken the photo.

“When I was at your apartment, I saw all the photos you had with your friends from the old office so I wanted to help you decorate your apartment with your friends from the new.” he explained as you went deeper in the box.

You grinned when you found a few of your favorite candies and snacks and immediately took one of the candies and popped one into your mouth before offering Mingyu one and he happily took it from your fingers with his mouth.

“I know that you have the afternoon munchies…” he started and your head immediately shot up wondering how he knew and he chuckled.

“I know about your snack little snack drawers and little adventures across the street to the dessert shop with Kyulkyung.” he said pulling you closer to him and placing a kiss on the side of your head. “But the fact that you eat so much but gain so little is extremely endearing” he said in your ear as his voice went slightly lower, “And kind of a turn on.”

His last statement caused the heat to rise to your cheeks and you hid your head in his shoulder so he wouldn’t see.

“Can you not...” you whined making Mingyu laugh as he wrapped his arm tighter around you. At least you seemed more relaxed then you had earlier in the car and he was happy that his plan was working despite the slight road block.

“Keep going, there’s one more thing.” he said nudging you and you readjusted yourself.

The last thing was an envelope addressed to you and he urged you to open it.

You skimmed the letter and as you got further into it, your jaw slowly dropped.

“You didn’t…” you whispered and looked at the date of the letter which was about three weeks after the two of you had met. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Do you think you would’ve accepted me back then?” he asked, “Even Jun and Minghao agreed that you probably wouldn’t have thought twice.”

“But you waited almost two and a half months…” you said skimming the letter again.

“And I’m glad I did. But this was to show you how serious I was about you...even when you didn’t know it. I just thought you’d want to know..” he explained, “I couldn’t tell anyone back then so the only way I could express myself was by writing this letter to you.” He then reached behind him to grab another box and you gasped.

“This is too much..” you said and Mingyu laughed.

“This is the last one, I swear.” he said taking the other box out of your lap and replacing it with this one.

You opened it quickly only to find the most gorgeous bouquet you had ever seen decorated with flowers which you knew represented love.

“It’s only been a month but I fell for you the first day, that I will always be truthful to you and tell you everything” he let out a sigh thinking about what happened earlier that night which caused that doubt inside of you. “I was going to tell you everything tonight and I didn’t expect to run into my brother, let alone finding out that the two of you were actually friends…”

Your silence urged him to continue as you processed everything that happened this past night. Mingyu was the heir to one of the biggest investment firms in all of Asia, not only that but he held a high position as Tier 1 associate as the company where you both currently worked. On top of it all, he remained as the majority shareholder at the investment firm which up until recently was actually competition to your company.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” you asked and he sighed.

“Because it’s not really public knowledge that I left the family business. The guys on our floor know but outside of that, I don’t really go announcing it to the world. My dad is still the current head but with his recent health issues, my brother stepped in as CEO once I expressed my wishes to build myself from the ground up but in order to honor my family, I will be stepping back into the role as head once my father decides to retire. My brother and I have come up with a system that works and I only have to be at board meetings once a month but he and my dad still make the big decisions and until my father retires, I am free to do as I please.” he explained.

“So you’ll eventually leave the company” you stated and he nodded with a slight sigh.

“Seungcheol knows about it but until that day comes, which won’t be for a long time might I add. We’ll continue working as we have been. I wanted to tell you sooner but I wanted you to also like me for me..” He rubbed the back of his neck, “And I never knew how to bring the conversation up so it was difficult.”

“But you managed to tell me everything in this letter…” you whispered looking up at him before looking down, “I’ve been burned so many times before that when Minghan told me about you...I froze. I didn’t know how to act and only defaulted to what I usually did…”

“Which was distance yourself and I’m sorry...I never wanted that to happen especially on a day like today.” he took both your hands into his and brought them to his lips, “I wanted to be honest with you from the beginning but I also had my doubts and I haven’t dated much for this same reason…”

You understood completely and nodded your head, “I’m glad you told me now...and I completely understand. Especially with your current fan club at the office…” you thought back to Nayeon who had been forced to apologize to you one day because she “accidentally” spilled coffee on you and you knew that Mingyu had stopped talking to her for that reason.

“You’re important to me...probably one of the most important things to me and I would never intentionally hide anything from you okay?” he asked leaning down to kiss your nose, “i promise that from now on, I’ll be completely honest with you and if anything happens, I’ll make sure to protect you.” He then wrapped you in his arms before leaning down and your lips met in one of the sweetest kisses that he had ever given you.

Your hand clenched the front of his shirt as his lips moved against yours and you suddenly felt yourself getting slightly warm as his hand rested on your thigh and the butterflies were going a hundred miles a second in your stomach and after a few minutes you had to pull away as you felt things were going too fast for a public place.

The two of you walked back hand in hand towards his car with the both of you carrying the flowers and gifts and it wasn’t long till the two of you were standing in front of your door.

“Do you...maybe want to come in for some dessert?” you asked biting your lip lightly and Mingyu resisted the urge to groan. You looked so tempting to him and all he wanted was to take you into your bedroom and not come out for a long time...a very long time.

Leaning down, his lips covered yours in a passionate kiss that had the two of you fighting for dominance but as your back hit the door, you knew that Mingyu wasn’t going to let you win this one.

Pulling away slightly so your foreheads were touching, he whispered, “Dessert sounds great.” before opening the door behind you and gently shoving you back into your apartment where your lips met once more in a more heated kiss.

You felt the heat rise as he gently lifted you up so your legs were wrapped around his and as he carried you to the bedroom, you couldn’t help but think of how right everything felt at that very moment.

[fanders-art]

Better - chapter 1

Summary: Elle is a depressed 25 year old who doesn't see the hope and kindness on store for herself. This is the story on recovery

Trigger warnings: suicidal ideation, pessimistic thinking/negative self talk, depression (tell me if there's more please !)

Note- this is my first ever story, it might not be good but bear with me, i may know what im talking about, I know how depression feels. I wrote this to show theres always hope. You can get better and feel better even when it's hard and it is a constant fight. Without further ado, THE STORY!~

_______________________________

"Anyways Elle, I have to go to my next class now so I'll call you later, bye"

My little sister, Anna, says sounding dissapointed, and hangs up the phone; I start wondering if she got bored with me and ended the call, or maybe she really didn't want to go to class. I sigh and turn over in my bed.

I had just woken up before the call, my body feeling like lead and my spirits were low, as if they were mourning the hole on my heart that yearned for comforting words, for happiness. Longing for love, fulfillment and support. Something to hold it all together. It's been there for quite some time now. I shake my head at the thought.

Go wash the dishes you useless adult.

I would, if my body didnt feel so heavy that it hurts.

I would if I had any reason to

Any motivation.

But there's none so what's the point?

I go to sleep again

___________________________________

I wake up in my room feeling lighter than yesterday, but not completely light. I look at the date on my phone, it's Wednesday, 5:00pm. My eyes go wide, but my mouth forms a thin line. I slept through 2 days straight and I have to go to work. I jump from my bed. Once i get ready I grab my stuff from the table and run out the door.

The customers are rude again. I'm not surprised anymore, I call my manager and continue the sad routine of working in retail.

________________________

It was normal day, long, but still normal. I was cooking pasta for dinner, something simple that i didn't need energy for.

Nothing significant happenned today, but i still find myself In my kitchen, tears dripping from my eyes, one by one, and sobs wrecking body, making me tremble. I was swaying back and forth, barely focusing on my pasta as my thoughts started consuming me.

You're useless. Absolutely pathetic. Nothing even happened and you're crying? Man, that's weak.

"Stop it, please" I cover my ears, more tears falling to the ground. The silence is deafening. The thoughts get louder.

How long have you been feeling this way? Years. Admit it, You're broken! We could make a list of all the rea-

"SHUT UP, DAMN IT!" I say to my own head. The tears are falling more quickly now, my sight becomes more of a blur. I'm used to it now; as I wipe some of my tears from my face I head to the bathroom.

I look at the mirror, letting the water run through my hands. My hair is up in a messy bun. My face swollen and red from all the crying, with tear tracks all over.

I lean down and wash my face.

_________________________________

After I'm done preparing the pasta, I serve a small amount and store the rest inside the fridge.

Staring at my food, I start poking at it with my fork.

"I'm not hungry anymore."

I start eating.

After I finish, I figure I should wash the dishes while I'm still feeling productive.

________________________

I leave work early today. My manager told me I was very unfocused and Spacey today and I kept making the same mistakes without noticing. More customers left, being angry at me and disrespectful to everybody else.

At my other job, one of my coworkers told me I seemed down. I barely recall them saying

"Hey Elle, take it easy. You're hanging your head and dragging your feet. Have you been sleeping okay? It's been at least three weeks since I saw you speaking to someone, let alone smiling."

I shake them off saying I was just stressed, but a couple of hours later my little sister told me I should see a psychiatrist. That I deserved better. I only listened to the first half, couldn't bring myself to believe the other.

______

"And, that's how I ended up here talking with you, Mr. Cardoso."

I am sitting in a chair on a small office. Taking a brief look around the room, i notice there's and organized desk looking toward one of the walls, the chair at it s left. Behind it, on the opposite side, there were some cabinets displaying toys. I figure they're for the children that come to see him.

I turn to look at the man sitting at the desk as he talks to me.

"So what youre saying is, you have an idea of why these people told you to come here, but don't completely agree with it?"

I nod.

"I'm going to have you fill out a couple of papers to give you a proper diagnosis," he hands me a couple of papers and a pen. "Do tell me when you're finished or have any questions."

I look at the questions in front of me, laid out with the questions of the left and, on the right side, the words: never, a few times, sometimes, often and always. I begin answering the questions.

The questions below ask about anxiety and worrying.

In the last 6 months, have you experienced any of the following symptoms? If so, how often?

I felt that my worry was out of my control- often

I felt restless, agitated, frantic, or tense.- always

I had trouble sleeping - I could not fall or stay asleep, and/or didn't feel well-rested when I woke up.- always

I felt sick to my stomach, like I was going to throw up, or had diarrhea - sometimes

I felt dizzy, my head was spinning, or felt like I was going to faint - a few times

 I was scared that I would lose control, go crazy, or die. -always

In the next set of questions, we will be asking whether you experienced a traumatic event, and how you reacted to it.

How did you experience the traumatic event?

Directly - I was a victim of a traumatic event.

 I witnessed it in person (happening to someone else).

I learned about it happening to a close family member or friend.

I was exposed to it as a result of my job (e.g. paramedic, police officer, fire fighter etc.).

In all of these I notice I don't remember much of my past. I write an 'I don't know' on the side.

I was unable to feel happiness, contentment, joy, or love, or had trouble connecting with people.- agree

There were questions about my mood, emotions, behavior. Even some about drugs, a big no from me.

I finished the questions.

We moved on.

________________________

When I get home I reflect on the appointment I had with the psychiatrist, Mr. Cardoso.

He said he would prefer if I saw a therapist at least once or twice a week, since I had nothing to lose, except for, well, pride, the walls you'd built, and time you could be working, you know, the usual, I said yes.

I look at the cellphone that's on my hands. After a few minutes, I dial the number to the psychiatric hospital. I hear the voice on the other line start spaeking.

"Hello, you have reached wellhealth hospital. How may I help you today?"

"Um" I hesitate. "Hello, I'd like to file an appointment with a therapist?"

"Do you have an insurance? Please give me your full name."

"I just applied for one and got the card. My full name is Elle Cook"

"Alright then. Would you prefer to come on next Monday at 10:30am or Wednesday 5:00pm?" The secretary said in a bored yet polite manner.

"Monday. 10 am. Who is the appointment with?"

"Your appointment is with Ms. Laura. Please come early to fill the necessary documents and show proof of your insurance."

"Will do. Thank you for your time. Have a nice day." After I hear their answer I hang up.

Sighing, I move from my comfy couch to my bathroom. I don't have enough energy for a skin care routine, so I just was my face and teeth, then change into my panda onesie and head to bed.

__________________________________

Special thanks for @thelogicalloganipus @fangirltothefullest @sanders-trash-4ever @pornhubsvt And @asofterfan for helping me with this chapter/giving me feedback!!

Don't know when the next update will be

You are here | Chapter 2

[meepmorpperaltiago]

If I Go There’s Just No Telling How Far I’ll Go (6/9)

I tried a couple of new things in this chapter and I really enjoyed playing with the format a bit - I hope you like this update! Also shout out to @amez-santiago for helping me to decide which comfort food Jake should bring to Amy ages ago and changing the direction of the fic in the course of the conversation, by suggesting that Jake should find out about Amy being a Princess sooner than I’d originally planned!

Chapter 1: https://meepmorpperaltiago.tumblr.com/post/177173242210/if-i-go-theres-just-no-telling-how-far-ill-go-aChapter 2: https://meepmorpperaltiago.tumblr.com/post/177346476440/meepmorpperaltiago-if-i-go-theres-just-noChapter 3: https://meepmorpperaltiago.tumblr.com/post/177560338670/if-i-go-theres-just-no-telling-how-far-ill-go-a

4:https://meepmorpperaltiago.tumblr.com/post/178787217045/if-i-go-theres-just-no-telling-how-far-ill-go-a

5: https://meepmorpperaltiago.tumblr.com/post/178787326850/if-i-go-theres-just-no-telling-how-far-ill-go

From the phone of Amy Santiago

3 Missed Calls From: Mom

3 Missed Calls From: Dad

1 Missed Call From: Raymond Holt

Dad: Tiger, I know you’re upset right now, but please just let us know that you’re ok

Terry: This is all insane, but I just wanted you to know that everyone at the 99 is here for you, no matter what you choose to do next

Gina: Heeeey girl! Now that we’re both royalty we might actually have something in common, so lemme know if you wanna talk xxxxxxx

Rosa: This is all weird. But I’m here for you.

Charles: Hi – if you need anything we’re all here, even if you end up living in Genovia!

Jake: Amez, Im coming ovr as sn as I can – hope thts ok

From the phone of Jake Peralta

Charles: I know this might be kind of an inappropriate point to make, but the fact that you’d officially become the Royalty you already are in my heart if you and Amy were together is just further proof that you guys are meant to be!

Friday, June 15th 2014

I… don’t really know where to start. So much has happened in the past week, it’s all been crazy! I guess I’ll start off with the simplest things: Teddy told the world about me being a potential Princess and I dumped him. More specifically, I came home to an enraged phone call from the Queen (she’s since forgiven me but is still pretty annoyed) and a million emails and text messages, followed by a knock on the door from Teddy, where he tried to make some lame excuse about it not being that big of a deal, which I didn’t listen to. I was already crying from sheer fury, which is not something I’ve ever done before, but when he said that I tried to kick him out. I just couldn’t believe somebody who I’d trusted, maybe even loved at some point could completely betray my trust like this. It was like the ground fell out from under me when I first saw that headline.

Then I heard a knock at the door. Jake was standing there, with a big bag of Polish food, and three Harry Potter DVDs looking completely awkward once he saw that Teddy was there. I calmly explained to Jake that Teddy was just leaving, but then Teddy started yelling, saying that he knew something was going on and telling me that I should blame him for my secret coming out. Jake looked like he was close to punching him – I think his death glare made Teddy leave faster, so I’m grateful for that!

Honestly, even though the circumstances of the break up were awful, not being with Teddy any more is such a weight off my shoulders.

Jake said that the stuff I’d brought over was ‘comfort if I wanted it’. And I kissed him. After that, we were both a little awe-struck. I asked if we could just put everything aside and just enjoy the movie he’d brought and he agreed. But then during the movie we ended up kissing again. And again. And again. Now I’m even more conflicted about the Independence Day Ball next week. That’s where I’m going to make my final decision.

Love,

Amy

Amez,

I would never be brave enough to say everything I feel to your face, so I’m putting this letter through your door instead. I really, really, really like you. But I don’t want anything that happened last night to influence your decision. Honestly, I think you would make an incredible Princess. You’re so smart and kind and beautiful and just everything that a Princess should be. Plus, a country run by someone with your level of organisation would be a sight to behold. They need you just as much as I do. I’m not being biased when I say that this is what you were born to do.

Jake xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Saturday, June 16th, 2014

I just told the Queen that I’m going accept their offer. It’s going to be manic up until the Independence Day Ball, so next time I write, I’ll probably officially be HRH Amelia Santiago, Princess of Genovia. It’s finally happening.

[strawberryjun]

highschool!jeno part 2 !!

o k so where did we leave off

so its Monday and hes back in history class, and hes as smiley as he used to be YAYYAYAAAYYYYY

but u notice that there's a little bit of regret or is it guilt ? in his eyes, u cant tell

ur teacher announces a work period so u and jeno r sitting side by side, shoulders brushing

"I broke up with her"

"wow, ,, jeno , are u ok ?"

"yeah I didnt really like her anyway, the dreamies pushed me into it and I kinda think i like someone else anyway"

now this is interesting

lee jeno likes someone else ??? who could it be ???? ;))

but ur not gonna push him so u dont ask

"oh, ok, well, u wanna do our project?"

and u do, u work on it til ur almost done

but theres still some more to go, so u meet up after school again, but this time at his house

he said he wanted u to come over bc his laptop was out of battery and u couldnt Just use yours (I'm not buying it)

anyway ur at his house

and u notice that his laptop is fully charged ???? ??

but u dont say anything and u guys work on ur project

and u finish !!!!! so early too !!

jeno is so happy that he asks u to celebrate !!!

"theres a really cool ice cream place nearby, let's go to celebrate!!!"

how can u resist that beautiful eye smile

u go to the ice cream place and order ur ice cream but before u can get ur wallet out, hes already paying at the cashier

"jeno!!! I could've paid, here lemme pay u bac-"

"no !!!! dont !!! it's my treat !!!! you did give me such good advice after all :))"

literally ur heart just burst

so u sit down and eat your ice cream and talk about everything

about politics, the big bang, clouds and music

"so, u like kanye?"

"it's a bunny on a skateboard !!!" "n o o it's santa eating chicken !!!"

and u just go on and on like that until u realize it's dark out and Oh No

u have to get home before curfew

so u tell him thanks for the ice cream, but youve gotta go

and he says oh !!! of course !!! lemme walk u home !!!!

and so u guys are walking and talking

and u get so caught up in him and his thoughts that u almost miss your house

"isnt this yours ???"

"o-oh yeah haha a H a"

and u get to ur doorstep and ur a little bit Sad bc :((( u wanna keep talking to him :((

"thanks for today, jeno"

"oh, you're welcome, y/n :)) it was my pleasure"

"well I should go in now"

"haha probably"

but as u turn to go in, he grabs your wrist

and it's the first time hes really touched u

and it's weird but it's also amazing

like sparks going off in your wrist and heart

and he turns u around and kisses u

lightly, like the softest touch similar to how a toddler would hold your hand

but it felt like a wave collapsing over both of you, swallowing u up and rocking u around

in the best way possible

he blushes and u blush, and it's hard to look into each others eyes

and he starts to open his mouth, as if hes trying to say something, but u cut him off, putting your lips back on his

and its longer now, and harsher

but not too long or too harsh, perfect

and you're happy

and so is jeno

and hes smiling into the kiss and it makes u giggly

so u end up breaking the kiss because you're both giggling

and he finally looks into your eyes, still tomato red

"that was fun"

and u nod, not saying anything because you're smiling too hard

"its late, get some sleep, ill see you tomorrow" he says, eyes crescent moons

and then you're in your bed, still red and giggly over what just happened

then it's the morning

and you're nervous about what to wear, how to act

because u like him, you like lee jeno

and he kissed you !!!

so u go to school, and hes in history, just like you expected

and he locks eyes with you once u walk in

and immediately goes red, as do you

but he walks over to you and smiles and waves and says a shy hi

"how are you" , , ,, , giggles

"how did you sleep", , , ,,,,, giggles

yall r just the cutest omg

once he gets his composure he takes u out of the classroom (he has a free pass bc his teacher loves him so much)

and into a janitors closet so he can tell you "y/n, I like you . a lot ."

and you're just standing there in shock because he does like you, and you like him and what's gonna happen now and

but you're quiet for so long jeno gets nervous

"oh, , do u not like me ? Its ok if u dont I mean I just kinda assumed bc you kissed me back but if u dont that's totally fine I mean i dont want to force u into anything it's fine I'm f i n-"

and u cut him off, throwing your arms around his waist with an "I like you too lee jeno"

and now it's his turn to be Shook

but before anything else happens, the janitor walks in

"oh, u kids, get out of here !!!"

you guys leave the closet, but before u go back to class jeno asks if u wanna skip and just be with him

and u agree (of course)

so u two are just sitting on the bleachers continuing the conversation from last night before u hear a "oi !!! who's this !!!" and see a pack of 6 ??? boys coming over to u two

ur a little confused before you realize that Ohh it's the dreamies

and jeno introduces u to all of them, mark, the oldest, about to off to college, renjun, a savage (u learn to understand soon enough), haechan, the sassy one (not mean, just sassy), jaemin, the pretty boy, chenle, really loud exchange student and jisung, youngest, always trying his Best

they're a fun group who seem to be misunderstood by your school

you like them and they seem to like you

and you and jeno continue to go out on these lil dates, until a week later he finally asks you to be his officially

to which you say yes !!!

and you're both so happy

he picks u up in the morning so u can walk to school together, you walk to history together, you eat lunch with him and the dreamies

"you're officially a part of the dreamies, y/n" - jaemin "yes please keep the boys in line while I'm gone" - mark "Y/N WILL NEVER TAME US WILDCATS" - haechan

you guys r the schools #1 couple, everyone is jealous of u two

nd you guys r always doing cute shit and having deep conversations where u talk abt ur hopes and dreams and jeno tells u all about how he wants to marry you one day :')

you two are the world's cutest and bestest couple (at least in your and jenos eyes)

and you're both so happy :)))

[mindovermilitante]

Taking back my life. Chapter 1...

Hi All,

My name is Nathan Militante. Approximately 4 months ago i thought i had it all figured out on what i wanted to do and where i wanted to go in this world. Im here today September 13th 2018 to tell my past self and the other who stumble upon this blog that it hasn't been what i expected. If anything its been the complete opposite of hat Ive wanted. But its funny when i look back on the things i wanted for the future i could never put an actual object to it. I think its always been somewhat of a feeling to obtain. The feeling-of accomplishment, or having done something important in your life, or even knowing that you're on the right path. Also sorry for this whole blog its going to be out of order, I feel its best to just type and let the words flow out, but okay back to the story at hand. 

Its the middle of May. Im dressed in my graduation outfit getting ready to proceed through the ceremony. Millions of thoughts racing through my head. Where will i go from here, what will my education look like from this point on, who will i settle down with, will i trip on my way to getting my diploma? As i tried to understand what this day meant i think i started to formulate a plan of action. I think in my mind the idea of a plan always gave me an idea of a direction i wanted to go. And so the day went by and so did the expectation that my plan would develop. But as stated earlier, it didn't...or so i thought.

Speed up to today and I am currently working for Washoe County Health district as a health educator and disease investigator, I am currently living with 3 other of my best pals including my brother, continuing on with my photography, and in love with a girl i get to all my girlfriend. But yet through all that i still feel empty. Why? 

You see my whole life has been a “Why”. 

Why cant i just afford it

Why cant i just get this right 

Why cant this just be easy 

Why cant life just catch me a break. 

In saying why all the time i realized how much i had yet to accomplish in my life. but why (see i told you) is it that i’m only 23 and stressing about all of this. It feels as if my life up to this point hasn't been much to celebrate about. 

Sure college was hard but it wasn't that hard when your going full time and you have friends in college who are there to push you through it? 

Sure rent is expensive elsewhere but our house is falling apart sometimes and my roommates drive me crazy. 

Sure I can say i love my job but there are those days when i ponder if its all worth the cause. 

Sure i love my girlfriend but at times we dont agree with each other and theres things that we dont get along with. 

But thats just it...

In one fell swoop if already named of only a fraction of the things i have neglected to be thankful for... but yet i ask why. 

Today is September 13th 2018 and im enjoying a nice lunch of grilled chicken, one banana, and a couple raspberries. Did i mention im drinking this gnarly concoction of garlic, lemon, and water to alleviate my blood pressure? 1 day ago I got the news that my depression and anxiety had come back and in turn raised by blood pressure. 6 hours ago i woke up with the idea that my life would never be the same with this diagnosis, 3 hours ago i was taking a walk instead of my usual run hating my life. and 30 minutes ago i was alone in my house pondering that ever so question i have been asking all my life...

Why? 

It was only until our house dog looked at me in a way that made me look at myself. Kind of like that thing you do when you're drunk, high, or on cloud 9 in the bathroom and your thinking to yourself how did you get here and will this ever end. Instead the person in the mirror told me to type. type it all type it out and type until there is nothing left to type. And so Im here now typing and wondering where this will lead me. Its weird the idea of typing is actually somewhat exciting and relaxing. Of course i am also listening to the wonderful styings of Joey Pecarro. But as i type all of this out i begin to see what ive been missing or what has been missing for me to understand what i have. I love my life and where its gone so far. I love the process its given me, the challenges its set out in front of me, and the idea thats its only beginning. In doing so its also shown me how much i have to be thankful for.

First off my wonderful girlfriend. This beautiful courageous funny and loving person has been there for me ever since the beginning. Funny story i actually ghosted here pretty badly a couple moths after we had met. I thing the whole thing was because i was scared of what she would think of me. But she pulled me back into our relationship and time and time again she's pulled me back into the place that i belong. I love her immensely and i truly believe that most of my success wouldn't have occurred without her doing. I owe her a-lot and i hope to show even just a fraction of what she has done for me. 

Second my friends. Wow dont talk to me unless you find some friends like mine! Ever since i could remember ive always been the type of person to move from group to group. it wasn't to say i didn't like anyone, i just couldn't find that right fit. And then freshmen year of college came along and in that hustle and bustle of university life... i found them. It isn't safe to say that they dont bug me sometimes but its also safe to say that they have saved me and molded me into the person i am today. I never once in a million years would've thought i would end up with these guys but im thankful for them each and every day. 

Thirdly (i dont even know if thats a word, sorry not sorry)  my family. It cheesy and a platitude to say everyone should be thankful for their own family, but my journey to liking them was somewhat of a rough road. To begin m parents are divorced so having that strain on the family really distanced me from accepting who they were. Another point to establish is that my family is very tradition on how success needs to be measured. Its “you're going to be a doctor” or “why cant you be like the other kids” and even “in life you need to accomplish things by this age.” Hearing those things really put in a position believing that they didn't care much about me. Only the life i was living. But as the years went by they understood me more and the success i wanted to reach the more they supported me and changed their ways. Today i owe a great deal of thanks to them and the foundational skills of hard work they have given me. 

Now of course im thankful for so much more but dont want to bore you with that list. Ill just do it another day (haha). But i think to end this story i want to talk a little about what got me to writing this. Again I am terribly sorry about the horrible typos, organization, and all around messiness this passage has to offer but bear with me. tomorrow will be better. 

Just as the title says “Taking back my life, chapter 1″, i really do want to take back my life. I suffer from serious bouts of depression and anxiety and for most of my life its been right there in the passenger seat ordering me where to go. But today ive decided to change that. I think today its not about asking why is this happening to me but rather saying to myself “its going to be okay”. Because at the end of the day it will be. But only if its done on my terms and my time. I know things take time and i know il probably have my days where it wont be perfect, but thats okay. i have to start living my life according to me, and not some mental disease. Im scared, stressed, terrified, and sick of what will happen now but those things keep me alive. Its by feeling those things that i know im moving on in the world. Forget a plan and forget trying to understand why something happens. Its time to take back my life and living it day by day with the ones I love. As for this blog i hope to keep updating it about my journey and the things i want to accomplish, the dreams i have, and the memories i make. 

Seneccca said 

“It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life is long enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to us for the highest achievements if it were all well invested. But when it is wasted in heedless luxury and spent on no good activity, we are forced at last by death’s final constraint to realize that it has passed away before we knew it was passing. So it is: we are not given a short life but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it… Life is long if you know how to use it.”

Lastly, Im probably the last person someone with depression should talk to, but if you're out there and reading this and going through something. always know there is always something to be grateful for, someone to always know has your back, something you can always fall in love doing, and something to always look forward to. And if you cant think of anything I will always be there for you.