#like i actually think ab this all the time and i just cringe

[nathaniacolver]

katie mcgrath...i love you, i really do, but WHY did you have to pronounce "anions" the ways you did the WHOLE EPISODE (s02e20.) (they were all wrong)

(i must use ipa bc ANY OTHER WAY is disgusting)

[ǽniə̀nz]

and

[ənɑ͡ɪ́ənz]

like i actually hate her! she said it wrong with her full chest AS LENA LUTHOR like girllllll

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Like You Deserve (Wolverine)

Description: Y/N wants to dom Logan

Warning: Smut

Word Count: 2,032k

Request: What about sub Logan smut?

Wade and Y/N had lots in common but one thing that stood out against the others was that they both wanted to Dom Logan ... .well Wade was never going to get the chance, Y/N made it her destiny to. Logan wouldn’t swallow his pride easy but Y/N saw the looks that he gave her when he thought she wouldn’t notice. Her suit was like deadpool but sexier so her whole body was on display for him to gawk at. What better way to get Logan to agree to submission than a party?

Wade of course threw the party and Logan was trying to cut back on the drinking so he wasn’t drinking anything that could affect this experience. Y/N decided not to drink anything either so it left them as the only 2 sober people at the party. “How much you wanna bet that Wade’s gonna try to fuck Vanessa tonight?” Logan asked. Y/N looked at him, “With her boyfriend right next to her? Yeah probably.” They watched as Wade tried so hard not to flirt with her in front of her boyfriend. “Yeah I can’t watch this.” Logan cringed and stood up. Y/N stood up as well, “We can go somewhere quiet and chat.” She offered. 

Her bedroom was everything he thought it would be. It was all types of movies and comics, her room smelled so nice thanks to the candle she lit beforehand. Almost as if She had planned this. “So is there a reason you aren’t drinking?” He asked her. She usually drank at parties but today she wasn’t and he found that odd. “Just wanted to take a break.” “Bullshit.” She looked at him, surprised.

“There’s an actual reason you aren’t drinking.” She sighed, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” She said. He turned his whole body towards her while laying on her bed. “Hit me.” She wanted to be like Wade and actually hit him rather than tell him. “You would certainly get it out of me drunk.” She said and looked over at him. “Or you could just tell me.” She shook her head, “I can’t believe you’re gonna make me say it.” She whined.

He got off the bed, “Fine then don’t. I’ll leave.” He said and went to leave her room. “I wanna fuck you.” She blurts out. He steps dead in his tracks and turns to look at her, “That’s it?” What did he mean by that? “Well I mean that literally. I wanna fuck YOU.” “You wanna be in control?” He asked as if she was joking. She nodded and her face got really red. “Yeah as hot as you are, No.” He said and she stood up. “You won’t let me dominate you? You don’t think that would be hot?” She asked. “Our first time fucking isn’t going to be you in control. It’s gonna be pounding into you like you deserve.” He said to her.

A few months later Y/N was handcuffing him to the bed, “What was it that you said to me before we got together? You wanted to fuck me like I deserve? Well baby boy I wanna fuck you like you deserve.” She purred and got off the bed to see him. He tried to hide his hatred for being chained up.

Y/N stared at his abs and muscles that were on full display for her to see. “Gosh baby you have such a perfect body.” She said and walked and started tracing his abs. They were perfect and hairy. “I just wanna hump every inch of you.” She purrs and he tenses up at her touches and words. Her fingers travel to his hard on that was clothed. It was the only part of him that was clothed.

The second her fingers traced over his hard on he hissed. “I barely touched you baby.” She teased and gripped him. He held back a pathetic moan of need as her tiny held what she could. She leaned down and licked up his abs making his breathing heavier. “Mmm you taste so good.” She said and took off her clothes. His eyes widened at her naked body as if he had never seen it before. He had tons of times but it never failed to amaze him.

Once she was naked she took her panties that were wet and shoved them in his mouth. “Just a little taste for later.” She winks at him. She straddles his body and moves up to his abs. They were hard and perfect for what she was about to do. She gasps as she runs her wet pussy over his abs getting them wet. He watched as she did this slowly teasing him but herself too. Each time her clit touched his abs she moaned a little louder each time. He wished that he could just take a hold over her and fuck her on his abs but he couldn’t.

It was long after that she was tired of teasing herself and started humping his abs fully. Her hands placed on his chest as she got a steady rhythm going. His eyes were glued to her face as he watched her pleasureful expressions. Her body thrusted against his as she gasped and moaned. “Fuck for so long I’ve dreamt and humped my pillow just imagining your abs.” She whined as the bed shook with her thrusts. He moans against the panties at her words. She removes her panties from his mouth and puts them in hers as she continues to ride him. “Fuck baby girl you look so hot.” He groans and her head falls back. The panties fall from her mouth as her jaw drops from how close she is. “Baby please wait and cum on my cock or my face. I don’t care.” He was begging. Something she never thought he would do. His abs felt amazing but his dick would feel better. She stops her humping and throws her panties somewhere in the room.

With wobbly legs she stands up and pulls down his boxers. His hard dick is leaking at the tip and begging to be touched. He was so big and each time she was still nervous about his size. She crawled back on him and took his dick in her hand. Though her hand couldn’t wrap all the way around it, it still felt good. Fuck it felt amazing to him. Her hands were like silk and he loved the feeling of them on him. He groaned and threw his hand as she started jerking him off, “That feel good bub?” She asked, teasing him and mocking his pet name for everyone. “Fuck darlin’ your hand is amazing but you’re pussy is better.” She giggled at his words. Fucking giggled. He loved that sound more than anything.

“Or I could make you cum so many times. Milking you dry.” She said and his eyes rolled at her answer. “I have you exactly where I want you Logan. I need to take advantage of that.” Her hand was speeding up the pace. His hips bucked up until her hand as he groaned. “The first time I cum has to be in that pretty little cunt. I won’t accept it any other way.” He grunts and she laughs. “Oh you won’t? I don’t think you have much say in where you’re cumming.” She says and speeds up her hand. He was so close to his orgasm but he didn’t want to cum like that.

“No fuck please let me cum in your pussy.” He begged her. There he was again, begging her. Her hand stops, “You’re very lucky that I wanna cum all over your cock.” She says and moves to position herself. She rubs his tip all over her pussy making them both gasp. “Let me inside please.” “Impatient little thing aren’t ya Wolvy? You’ll get what you want.” He was by no means little but that wasn’t what he was focused on. She was teasing him and it was starting to hurt. Before he could beg anymore she finally took him in and oh did it feel amazing. Her pussy swallowed him whole and he loved every second of her taking him in with caution.

Her jaw dropped as he ripped her open like it was the first time. Both of them are already edged and ready to go. Her pussy was leaking around him. His eyes couldn’t leave the sight of her taking him in until he was gone. “Fuck you’re so big.” She whined and let herself adjust to him. Though he was being an impatient fuck and thrusted up into her causing her to moan loudly. He smirked at her reaction but the glare that was present on her face told him he was in trouble. “You weren’t supposed to do that Wolvy.” She said and if it wasn’t for the fact that every time they had sex she had to adjust to him she would have gotten off him.

“Please baby. I need you to fuck me.” Oh wow. The begging was one thing but to tell her to fuck him. He had lost it, truly. She let herself slowly grind on his dick and even though he was whiny and telling her to stop teasing him, she enjoyed it. “I would be pounding into you now.” He groaned and she laughed. “I have never seen you so whiny and bratty. It’s almost like that’s why I’m doing it.” She started riding him a little faster. He wanted so bad to grip her hips and drag her on his cock. She could tell that he wasn’t happy with her pace but he was deep in her and hitting spots that even without him “ramming” into her, it still felt good.

She could cum from this pace but Logan needed more. Her head fell back and she let out little moans as her hips sped up a little more but not much. “You’re so deep.” She gasped out. He started growling like an animal and she looked down at him. “Aww baby is this not good enough for you?” She asked with a fake pout and sighed. “You’re lucky that I wanna cum.” She said before dragging herself on his dick and riding him the way he wants. “Fuck yes.” He groans, loudly. She whined his name and placed both her hands on his chest. His eyes never left her fucked out face.

“You’re so fucking pretty baby.” He groaned and if she could she would roll her eyes at him. He wanted her to let him touch her. “Let me mark you baby please.” He begged and she was high on pleasure to care so she stopped and grabbed the keys to the cuffs and undid them. The second his hands were free he gripped her hips and dragged her on his cock so fast it took her breath away. “Yeah that’s it baby. Fuck you look so good on top.” He praised her and her pussy fluttered around him at that.

He chuckled, “Yeah you like that? I know she did.” He looked down at her pussy that looked so full of his cock. “Logan fuck if you keep talking like that I’m gonna cum.” She whined. “That’s the point baby.” She felt herself on the edge but she wanted him to cum first. “Logan I need you to cum first baby.” “Never. My woman will always cum before me.” He groans and holds himself back. “Cum for me darlin’ drench my cock.” She gasped and let out a loud moan of his name as she orgasmed all over him.

He bit his lip and followed right after her. “Fuck baby.” She cried as she rode out her orgasm. His eyes never left her face to see how fucking pretty she looked as she came all over him. She collapsed on his chest and he hugged her. “You did so good, baby. You made me feel so good.” He said out of breath. She yawned and closed her eyes, “I love you Logan. Thanks for that.” He smiled and kissed her head, “Love you too bub.”

[ahgasegotarmy116]

BANG-ABLE | Jeon Jungkook One Shot

Summary: You've been single for way too long and you're done with causal sex and all the drama that comes along with it...so why not try something new? Pairing: f!reader x Sex Bot Jungkook (idk man 😂) Word Count: 9.8k~ Warnings: Smut and Explicit language (obvi lmao) a/n: Okayyy it's finally here haha you guys really seemed to like the teaser so I hope this was worth the wait 🥰 p.s. barely edited per usual lol

"You seriously think I would actually get one of those?" I scoff, rolling my eyes at Ava. "What? You said you had been curious about it before, plus you said  you wanted to try something new" she responds, scrolling through the website as I lean in closer, trying to read the smaller print.

I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it before, "A sex bot though?" I cringe, the words feeling unnatural coming out of my mouth.

"What? There's no shame in trying one. From what I've heard it's a single person's best friend. You don't have to bother going out to clubs to find meaningless hookups or have to deal with the hassle of finding a no strings attached relationship, or a real relationship in general" she says, pointing out the pros for this situation.

"It's the new and improved fuck buddy. Plus it's not like you have to keep him. You can try it out for a while and decide after that. See, they have a two week trial period!" She says, continuing her efforts in trying to convince me.

"I don't know, doesn't it seem a little...embarrassing? I wouldn't want anyone to know that I have one. Plus, after scrolling through the pictures of them it makes me realize how scarily realistic they look" I say while I take over the mouse and click around on the website here and there.

"And? That's the point. Think of it like you're getting a crap ton of new sex toys of your choosing and it's all assembled perfectly and does exactly what you want it to and will learn everything about you and your body and is only focused on satisfying you" she says, slowly warming me up to it.

"Plus you never have to worry them wanting anyone but you. They're there to serve you and please you and when you're done you could pretty much power them down and go to sleep. Simple as that" she says, her mission on convincing me slowly coming to completion.

"I guess I could start out with a trial period or something" I say tentatively and she immediately starts placing the order.

"Okay and what do you want him to look like? You obviously want to be attracted to him since that's pretty much the whole point so you can either upload a picture, scroll through the options they have on hand or put in a description of them here" she says, clicking in the description box and handing me the laptop.

I sit with it on my lap for a while, watching the cursor blink over and over, waiting for my brain to come up with something until she gets impatient and takes it from me so she can start writing one herself.

"Tall but not too tall...let's say 5 foot 10. Dark brown hair, dark brown eyes that look innocent one moment but seductive the next" she lists off. "That's oddly specific" I laugh and she shakes her head. "I know you're obsessed with duality so shhh let me finish this up" she shushes and I watch her work her magic.

"Alright and done!" she says, handing me the laptop and letting me read through the description one last time before purchasing him. "Really?" I say, cocking a brow at her. "What? You don't like it?" she pouts thinking she got it down to a T. "I do like it, you're just so weird with these descriptions" I say and before she's able to refute it I list off a few of them.

"Abs that make me drool the moment I see them, Tattoo sleeve and hand tattoos so my necklace is pretty, a d- Ava are you serious?" I say scandalized by the last part, as if this wasn't all mortifying already. "What? That one guy you hooked up with had one and you said you liked it so..." she shrugs her shoulders. "A dick piercing" I mumble to myself while rubbing my temples, getting a headache from this whole ordeal.

"Whatever it's fine. Just do it before I change my mind" I say and wave her off while going to grab some wine and two glasses.

"Says he should be here by tomorrow afternoon" she say after going through the rest of the order form leaving me choke on air and her laughing at my reaction. "That fast?" I say after I've calmed down, plopping down on the couch next to her and pour each of us a glass. "Well yeah, the company's slogan is 'Your pleasure is our priority' and they offer overnight shipping on every order" she explains while grabbing the remote, pulling up Bridgerton for us to watch yet again.

I narrow my eyes at her and she looks over at me as if I was the one who's gone crazy. "What? I thought this might you know, refresh your memory on the things you always said 'Me and who?' about since 'Mr. Who' is coming tomorrow" she sing songs at the end and I roll my eyes again.

"Just remember to thank me next time you roll your eyes like that when he's all up in your guts tomorrow afternoon" she teases, taking a sip of her wine while mine nearly comes out of my nose. "AVA!" I scold her and she shrugs her shoulders, "Don't say I didn't warn you".

As the night goes by and we finish up the first half of the third season for the fifth time she gets ready to head home.

"You sure you don't wanna spend the night?" I ask and she shakes her head while she shrugs on her jacket. "No that's okay, I'm sure you've got a lot of things you might want to do to get ready for him so I'll leave you to it. I called an Uber so don't worry I'm not driving home tonight" she says and I nod my head, relieved that she's already got that plan in place.

"I'll come pick up my car sometime tomorrow okay?" she says and I smile before giving her a hug. "Text me when you get home" I say and she promises before walking out to the car. "Have fun tomorrow" she winks and I shake my head, waving her off once she gets in.

"Fun huh?" I chuckle, still in disbelief that I actually went through with it. I guess there's no harm in trying...right?

~~~~

I'm woken up out of a sound sleep by the doorbell ringing and I think for a second about who it might be while I rub the sleep out of my eyes. 

I reach for my phone on the nightstand to see if anyone asked if they could come over but when I see the text message telling me that he's being delivered soon I bolt to the door, not wanting to have to deal with the awkwardness of trying to get him redelivered.

I straighten myself out and take a deep breath for a second in an effort to compose myself and in the next I'm opening the door.

When I look out I'm met with the sight of a delivery man with a huge wooden crate next to him and my eyes widen at the sheer size of it. "Sign here please" he says, handing me the clipboard and I step aside so he can bring it in.

"Is right here okay?" he asks, rolling it a little further in so it's not blocking the entry way. "Um yeah that's fine, thanks" I say, handing the clip board back to him before he excuses himself and closes the door behind him.

The silence in this room is almost deafening once my focus is trained on the box that's going to shake up my life for at least the next two weeks, gulping at the thought of what I've gotten myself into.

'Maybe if I just leave it there it'll disappear' I think to myself, going into full on panic mode as I start to think a bit deeper about it, turning on my heel to go shower and get dressed but once I come back my theory is disproven when my eyes land directly on the wooden crate that is still in the middle of the room.

I take a deep breath before walking towards it and you would think it was about to attack me with the way I'm being so careful about it. Circling around, debating on whether or not I should open it.

'Ava won't know if I just leave it in the box right? I'll just keep it here for two weeks and then send it back. Simple as that' I think to myself, walking past it and over to the kitchen to make breakfast but the longer I look at it the more curious I get.

I grab the crowbar that the delivery man gave me after I'm finished eating and toy with it, the choice weighing heavier and heavier on my mind as time goes by.

I decide that just one peek at him won't do anyone any harm so I start to pry it open...except for I can't.

For the life of me I can't figure out how the fuck I'm supposed to open this thing and no matter how much I struggle with it it just won't budge. 'I should've asked the delivery man to open it for me' I grumble but I think I would die if a stranger found out that I bought a sex bot but even with this not so discreet packaging he is probably very well aware of what it might be.

There are only two things that could possibly come in a box this size. A robot (not necessarily a sex bot though since there are multiple different kinds for sale) or a casket and last time I checked caskets aren't all the rage right now and they definetly aren't something people get delivered to their home.

I sit on top of the box with a huff, accepting defeat. 'I thought this was supposed to be a stress reliever' I groan and take my phone out of my pocket to call Ava but I'm soon met with her already knocking on my door.

"I hope I'm not...interrupting something" she says with a sly smirk when she takes in my messy state from trying to get that damn box open. "Yeah I wish" I grumble and walk back over to the bane of my existence today and sit on top of it again.

"Oh sick! He's here already" she say, excitement written all over her face but it soon dissipates when she sees the mental struggle written all over my face.

"What's wrong? Aren't you gonna open it?" she asks, tilting her head and checking out the crowbar that's wedged into it, the only proof of any progress I've made. "Can't get it open?" she chuckles and I scoff, not bothering to answer her.

"Come on I'll help you" she says and I sigh before getting up and giving it one last shot. "Alright one, two, three" she says and we both push down on it, thankfully hearing a crack seconds later, telling us we're starting to make progress.

"Yes!" I say, finally feeling hopeful again and when we finally get the last part pried open after a good fifteen minutes of struggle we both sigh, happy that it's all over. "That was a workout in itself" she groans and slumps down on the couch while I do the same for a moment to catch my breath.

"So you gonna go take a look?" she asks while nodding towards the box, "Yeah just give me a second, I have to mentally prepare myself again" I say and she scoffs before going into the kitchen to get the both of us some water.

"Come on dude I helped you open it so you at least have to let me see him! I'm dying over here" she whines and I contemplate it for a second before getting up and grabbing the manual that is lying on top of all the fluffy packaging that's keeping him safe.

"'How to bang your robot' sounds informative" Ava giggles and I scoff, "That's not what it says dummy" I groan, thumbing through the manual until I find the most important piece of information, how to turn him on...well power him up so to say. The other part I guess I'll figure out later on when we're alone, although I'm sure she would love to watch.

I don't think I'll ever be able to understand how she can talk about things like sex so openly but I guess that's part of her twisted charm.

I brush some of the hay-like packaging off of him so the both of us can finally see what he looks like and my breath hitches once his face comes into view.

"I did a good job huh?" she says while elbowing me in the side, groaning when she hits the new tattoo I got on my ribcage the other day. "Oh shit I'm sorry! I forgot!" she says, apologizing but I brush it off as an accident and go back to inspecting him.

After taking more of the packaging off I finally find where his on switch is, which happens to be on his peck. "Really? I haven't even turned him on and I already have to violate him?" I say, hesitating for a second and then just rip the bandaid off so to say and lift his shirt up.

"Damn those abs are drool worthy" Ava whistles and I wack her in the arm, "You're not helping" I groan and find the plate that is covering the on switch, looking between him and her, contemplating on if I should go for it or not.

She nods her head, urging me to do it and after a second or two I give in and flip the switch and quickly and fix his shirt so he's all covered up again. He might be a robot but I still think he deserves to be treated with respect.

Even if his whole purpose is to just fuck me senseless.

We both watch for a second and hear a few of the mechanisms start to move about before he takes his first breath. Well...kinda.

He opens his eyes and blinks a few times and I know for a fact that Ava hit it right on the head in her description. She knows me too well at this point if she was able to create a Mr. Right for me with a few clicks on her keyboard.

That or he's just very attractive to begin with.

He looks around for a second before turning his head towards me, our eyes locking for the first of many times and I can already feel my cheeks start to heat up. 'I'm fucked'

"H-hello" I say tentatively, not really knowing exactly where to go from here. "Hello gorgeous" he say, his first words to me already driving me into cardiac arrest as I choke on air again.

"Ignore her, she's just a little shy. This is-" "Y/n, I know" he says, cutting Ave off since he's already programed to know who I am, her having submitted pictures of me along with my order.

"Yes, this is y/n and I'm her best friend Ava. It's nice to meet you" she says, distracting him as I gulp down the water she brought but unbeknownst to me he has his eyes trained solely on me, already studying my every move. "It's nice to meet you y/n" he says and Ava looks over at me, watching as I struggle to compose myself.

She doesn't take his unwillingness to pay attention to her as an insult because he's meant for me and only me so she smirks again, patting herself on the back for making this creation for me.

"Well I'll leave you guys too it then. Have fun" she says but I grab her arm and drag her down the hallway, not letting her get away that easily. "Why did you do that?" I hiss and she scrunches her brows together, confused as to what I'm referring to.

"You know, make him all flirty with that whole bad boy aesthetic" I say and she smirks. "Because I know that those are the kinds of guys that make you weak in the knees but you and I both know better and stay away from them" she points out and I can't deny it.

"Now you can have all the fun with zero consequences. You can alway alter him later if you'd like but from your reaction it seems as though I've done my job well" she says, peeking her head around the corner and watching him as he gets out of the crate.

"I swear both of you are going to be the death of me" I sigh leaving her placing a hand on my shoulder, faking consolation before turning on her heel to head out.

"Wait! Where are you going?" I ask, chasing after her and glancing back over at my very attractive playmate whose eyes are all over me again as I continue to stay close to her.

"I've got a boyfriend waiting for me at home remember? Now you go have fun" she says shooing me away and when she sees me glance over at him and back at her with mixed emotions written all over my face she pulls me in for a hug to hopefully help calm me down which thankfully helps...a little.

"At least let the guy get to know you. I'm sure he doesn't bite...unless you program him to" she whispers the last part directly into my ear and I push her off me, rubbing away the ticklish feeling that she gave me which has her chuckling.

"It was nice meeting you" she yells over to him but she's not given a response again. "I guess I forgot to add good manners to his list of attributes" she mumbles and I roll my eyes. "That wouldn't really fit the bad boy look you gave him now would it?" I throw back and she laughs, unbothered by my curt behavior which stems from the panic I've had since he first spoke to me.

"Love you loser" she says and I mutter back a similar sentiment, closing the door behind her and resting my forehead against it before dealing with the very temping man in my living room but when I turn around I realize he's somehow managed to sneak up on me.

"What the-" I say, holding my hand over my heart to make sure it somehow doesn't jump out of my chest from the scare he's given me.

"Now that we're finally alone, I guess I can properly introduce myself" he says, resting a hand against the door and using the other one to caress my face before tilting my chin up so I keep my eyes trained on him.

"I'm Jungkook and from my understanding you're in need of some...attention" he says, his hand tracing down my body from my jaw to my neck, down my arm and rests on my waist. Nothing too sexual as of yet but enough to get my heartbeat racing even faster than it was before.

"I-" I start off, my voice cracking before clearing my throat and starting again, my flustered nature amusing to him, "I guess you could say that" I say and his grip on my waist tightens a bit causing my breath to hitch, the warmth radiating from his skin feeling so human.

Everything about him seems human. From his eyes that I could get lost in, to his lips that have two silver hoops through the bottom to all the other piercings in his ears. I marvel at how his scent is something that I already find intoxicating, his presence itself making me feel so small and I can't help but want to stare at him all day, even the swirls of ink on his forearm seem so real. It makes me wonder how someone like him could be created.

"I take it that my appearance is to your liking" he startles me again, a smug look on his face and I can tell already that she's got his personality down to a tee. "Um yeah. I uh, I guess you could say that" I stumble over my words and he laughs, that cocky fucking laugh that the guys that know they're hot do but I don't mind it.

Not this time. Not with him.

"Tell me love, would you like some of that...attention now or later" he says, leaning forward and whispering it in my ear, placing a kiss under it, making me shudder.

Feeling him smile against my skin makes me want him to fuck me on this floor right now but I know I can't do that. I know I'm not ready for that yet.

"W-why don't we start later? I kinda wanna talk to you first" I say and he runs his nose along the column of my neck, making me lose my train of thought for a moment.

"We can talk later if you want. I wouldn't mind learning more about you in other ways first" he says, his tempting nature almost making me give in before I finally regain my willpower and slip out from under his arm, quickly walking towards the couch to sit down.

"No let's talk first" I say and I can hear that same cocky laugh come out of him before he pushes off the door and makes his way over, sitting way closer than necessary but luckily I have some space to scoot away from him so I can turn to face him instead.

He drapes an arm over the couch while his other hand rest on my bare knee, again nothing sexual but I take note of how he already feels the need to at least touch me in some way, something I know I will never get used to since things like that have always given me a fluttery feeling in my stomach.

I shouldn't have worn a dress today...

He waits patiently for me to say something with his eyes focused on me and I try my hardest to remember exactly what I wanted to say but I start to realize that I just ended up using this as an excuse to buy more time before going any further with this. I know why I bought him and what his purpose is but damn!

"So um, I know you know my name already but I'm y/n and it's nice to meet you. How old are you? Well...I guess I should ask how old did they make you? No I'm sorry this is weird just yeah tell me a bit about yourself if you don't mind" I say and hope that they programed some sort of back story into him and he's not a blank canvas and luckily my prayers are answered.

"Well I'm twenty six and I'll be turning twenty seven on September first. I like tattoos, piercings, motorcycles and boxing. I was made custom for you so I don't have any other outside experiences besides interacting with the people who double checked me at the factory as well as your friend that was just here. So as far as that goes, you're the only person I've had a real conversation with. Was there anything else you'd like to know about me? I can run though some of the features I have if you'd like" he says starting to get up to what I assume is get undressed but I grab onto his wrist and immediately stop him.

"No! I mean no, let's save that for later. I'm sure you'll figure out what will please me as things...progress between us" I say, not really knowing how exactly to phrase it. "So you'd like me to learn your body through experience?" he asks and my cheeks flush at the thought and all I can manage to do is nod before my eyes go wide as his hand slides up my thigh.

"Well I can assure you I'm very eager to learn. I may not look it but I rather enjoy studying when I have such a gorgeous subject to focus on" he says, his hand somehow having slipped under my dress.

"We um, we'll have plenty of time for that" I say, placing my hand on top of his to make sure it doesn't trail up any further. And again I'm so surprised at how human he feels, it's something that I expected but I didn't realize that he would feel this real.

He huffs and nods sitting back to give me some more space, not wanting to make me feel uncomfortable but still wanting to fulfill his duty to me. I notice the change in his expression and I rush to explain myself since I don't want there to be any sort of misunderstandings between us.

"I'm not saying this because I don't want you, you know that right?" I ask and he shakes his head not completely understanding since he's programed for one sole purpose upon opening. "Am I doing something wrong?" he asks, wanting to make changes to his behavior so he can make sure he's doing what I want and servicing me well.

"You're not doing anything wrong I promise. I'm- well I'm just a little bit nervous and I get flustered easily. I don't really know how this should go so I wanted to take it a bit slower" I say and he nods his head and I can see that there's almost a mechanical glow flickering behind his eyes which I can only assume is something that happens when he alters his behaviors based on my liking.

"I do like the way you've been treating me but I'd like to work up to that...if that makes sense" I say and he nods again and once I've stopped speaking my mind on it he finishes up his reprograming and looks back over at me, his seductive eyes a little bit softer now which somehow makes me even more flustered.

"Better?" he asks, his low sultry voice switching to one that's more playful, his teasing nature a clear want for me still but a lot more manageable this time. "Better" I echo, giving him a soft smile and another once over before realizing that I haven't said much about myself in return.

"Sorry, I guess I should tell you a bit about myself as well" I say but before I can start he's already listing off things like my birthdate and the fact that I'm only a year younger than him as well as my interests and hobbies.

"Wow that uh, that order form was a lot more detailed than I thought it was" I say and he laughs. "Weren't you the one that filled it out?" he asks curiously, tilting his head to the side, the first glimpse of innocence that I've seen all day.

"Well kinda. Ava was the one who did it and I just kinda glanced over at it once it came to the physical appearance but uh, she kinda came up with all of that too" I admit and he nods his head, taking in all that I've told him.

"So is my personality not to your liking? I can always instruct you on how to reprogram me more thoroughly" he offers and my heart breaks at that. "No Jungkook I don't want to change you. I think we just have to take a second to get used to each other. Your personality is to my liking because..." I trail off, weighing on whether or not I should say this but go for it anyway. He's a robot right? There's no harm in being honest with him.

I take a deep breath before trying to finish my statement, clearing my head so I can formulate it right. "Everything about you is to my liking because I am extremely attracted to you" I admit and look at my lap, not being able to face him. This is what he's here for though right? I'm meant to be attracted to him and he's meant to fulfill my desires so why do I feel shy admitting this to him?

The next thing that happens takes me by surprise as he hooks his finger under my chin and tilts it up before placing a kiss on my lips, one that I can only label as a perfect first kiss. My eyes go wide when I realize that I just kissed a robot but something about it feels so natural...and that's the part that scares me.

He leans back and gauges my reaction and when he sees that I was not displeased with the choice he made he leans in and kisses me again, and again, and again until I'm the one that's started to take control.

I place my hand on his shoulder and push him back but don't break the contact between us and when he realizes what I'm doing he grabs my hips and guides me onto his lap, the synthetic muscles of his thighs feeling so real.

From the way his hands are exploring my body and even the way he tastes on my tongue everything about him feels...human.

I need to stop thinking. I just need to enjoy this, enjoy him and when his hands move from resting on my hips to sliding down and grabbing my ass all thoughts of him being anything but real flee.

Our lip lock is broken once I'm gasping for air and he trails his kisses down my neck and presses his lips against the place he first kissed me, making me shiver again and he takes note of that, learning through experience just as he said.

"You're sensitive here aren't you?" He teases and if this taunting tone is the one he uses to gather intel on me them I'm screwed. He could literally do anything to me right now and I'd fold. What is it about him that's driving me insane when we've done almost nothing?

He bites down on that spot when I don't answer and when I moan instead of a cry of pain he gets his answer. "That's what I thought" he chuckles and continues his ministrations, touching me here and there and trying to garner other sounds and reactions out of me.

"J-jungkook" I stutter out and he hums against my skin while he sucks marks into it, no doubt wanting to experiment with my body. Licking, kissing, sucking every bit of bare skin that's exposed to him. "What is it gorgeous?" he asks, kissing the mark he's made before leaning back against the couch to look at me.

"B-bedroom?" I stutter out and he smirks as he responds. "You sure you don't wanna ride me right here?" he says and my breath hitches, not expecting him to be like this. "This view is way too good to give up on" he says, his hands gripping my thighs while his thumb rubs circles against my skin.

"Be a good girl and ride me yeah?" he rasps in my ear, kissing my neck making me want to melt into him, everything about this making me dizzy.

He makes the decision for me as he slips his hand under my dress again while he uses the other to hold onto my neck and pulls me down to kiss him again. He plays with the hem of my underwear and pulls on it and snaps it back into place making me bite on his lip.

"Ow!" I groan gaining me a deep chuckle that makes my scoldings die in my throat. "I know you're a little slut for pain no? Something about you just screams the desire to be put in your place" he says and my eyes widen. I've never told anyone about that but this man...robot has known me for less than an hour and is already aware of it.

"We can experiment with that next time because right now I just want you to ride my fingers. You can do that for me right gorgeous?" he says, using that word as a pet name now. I swear if he calls me that all the time I'm gonna lose it.

He leans back and looks at me, taking note of all of my reactions and when he cocks a brow at me I nod my head right away. "Yeah" I say, my voice sounding foreign to me but thankfully that was enough for him as he tells me to stand up and take my underwear off.

"Keep the dress on. You look so pretty after getting all dolled up for me. I would hate to make you take it off" he says and I swear everything about him is driving me insane. If he wasn't a robot I would be in serious trouble.

"Come here" he says, beckoning me over with one finger and once I get close enough he grabs me by my hips and makes me straddle him.

He takes one of his hands off and slides it down my thigh painfully slow and I find myself getting wetter at the feeling, getting teased by him feeling totally new.

Once his fingers trace up and down my folds he hums in satisfaction. "So wet for me already and I've barely touched you" he taunts and I squirm, needing him to do something. No matter how much I love his teasing I decide seconds later that I need him now.

"Please" I let out and he smiles before circling his finger around my entrance still toying with me. After a another minute of this torture he finally speaks up as if he had been waiting for me. "Come on gorgeous, you asked for it. Ride my fingers so I can see how pretty you look" he says, barely dipping a finger inside of me, coaxing me into letting my inhibitions go.

I sink down on it and I let out a whine, not having been touched like this in a while making me sensitive. "That's it, keep going love, you're doing so well" he rasps in my ear and I lift my hips up a bit before sinking back down on it again, a sloppy pace being set in and he chuckles at my efforts.

"Someone hasn't been fucking my baby properly huh? Needed to get me to do it right? You're so pretty though, looking so concentrated and frustrated because you can't go fast enough" he taunts, adding another finger when I sink back down making me throw my head back from the stretch, my want to ride him only increasing.

"Gotta make you work for it a little" he says, finally adding a third finger making me moan his name in response. "Fuck I love watching you fall apart like this" he curses and takes his fingers out of me only long enough to take his jeans and boxers off and once I see him I can't help but gulp at the size.

"It's okay, don't worry. I can change it as I make my way inside you. I promise you it won't hurt. This is always all about you" he says, tilting my chin up and making eye contact with me. I nod my head and mumble out a quiet 'okay' before he grabs my hips and makes me hover over it while he lines himself up.

"Sit on my lap gorgeous" he says as words of encouragement when he senses my hesitation. 'Shit am I really about to bang a robot?' are the thoughts that run through my head but once the tip pushes past my folds I couldn't give a fuck who he was.

Both of us watch as it disappears inside me and I let out a few shuddering breaths as I feel him adjust, fulfilling his promise to change it to make it fit. "You're doing so well" he says, rubbing up and down my thighs, letting me get used to the feeling.

"You okay?" he asks, noticing how still and silent I've gotten. "Yeah, I just haven't done this in a while" I admit even though he already knows. "Want me to take over?" he asks, thrusting up into me once to show that he's more than willing to do it. "No, I can do it" I say, taking a deep breath before lifting my hips up and and dropping down on him, knocking the wind out of myself when I come down too fast.

"You sure?" he asks, grabbing onto my hips and helping me set a pace to make it easier for me. "Shit" I curse under my breath and he chuckles, "Baby's got a dirty mouth huh? I would've never known since you've been so shy and blushy with me this whole time" he lifts his hips off the couch and gives me a sharp thrust making more curses fall from my lips.

"That's it, just like that. Doing so good for me" he says, coaching me and making me feel more confident and when he hit's a spot inside of me I shudder and it catches his attention. "Right there huh?" he asks, thrusting up into me, this time softer, going with the rhythm I've set in but makes my hips stutter when he brushes against it over and over and over again. 

"You wanna lay down for me?" he asks and I nod letting him take over and laying me down while still staying inside of me. "You're so beautiful" he say, taking in my dazed state before he start moving his hips, brushing up against that spot again and making my back arch off the couch. 

"F-fuck Jungkook" I moan and he chuckles, watching me fall apart under him. "Fuck, right there" I scream, toes curling and body seizing as my orgasm crashes down on me with one last pointed thrust, a string of obscenities falling from my lips as he fucks me through it but when I start to get sensitive again he keeps going. 

"Jungkook wait" I say, my breathing picking up when I realize what he's trying to do. "You can give me one more can't you?" he asks, his hips slowing down but never stopping, his movements more sensual now making my breathing more ragged, the feeling of an onset high building again. 

I whimper once he picks up his pace a bit but he stops when he hears it. "Tell me to stop and I will" he says, reminding me that this is all about me, I control what happens here and it is my decision. 

"Keep going" I say, pulling him down and locking our lips together, needing to muffle these embarrassing moans with his mouth when he starts up again, his pace picking up now and moving faster than before. "S-shit just like that" I stutter, the change in pace bringing me close to that edge so much sooner.

"Been thinking about this view ever since I laid my eyes on you. It's even better than I expected. Look at the way you fall apart under me" he says, his words barely registering when I'm about to tip over. "Eyes on me pretty" he says and when I see the way he's looking at me I reach that high in seconds, my body convulsing from how hard he's made me cum again, the second more intense than the first. 

He fucks me though my high and places kisses all over my neck and let's me catch my breath as I come down and soon I'm left in a daze. 

"J-jungkook" I stutter out as a way to ask him to stop and he does, pulling out and making me hiss. "Look at the mess you've made" he says and I look up to see he's glistening with my slick and I cover my face. 

"I'm sorry I just..." I start not really knowing why I'm apologizing. "You just what?" he says, taking one of my hands off my face and kissing my wrist, smiling when he registers how high my heart rate has gotten. 

"You're really good with that thing you know" I say and he laughs. "Cute and a sense of humor. Looks like I lucked out on my owner" he says and I feel a sense of guilt, remembering that this isn't real. That he isn't real.

"Did I say something wrong?" he asks and I shake my head before sitting up. "No, no you did nothing wrong I just, well it made me feel weird when you called me your owner" I say and I watch as his eyes glow, another sign of him reprograming himself. 

"What would you like me to call you?" he asks leaving me hesitating for a second before I finally come up with it. "Maybe your girlfriend?" I propose and the corner of his mouth tugs up, clearly finding the result favorable but I rush to explain myself. 

"Or you can just call me your friend you know because girlfriend is kind of forward and I don't know" I cut myself off when I realize I'm rambling and get shy when I see the way he's looking at me. Utterly fascinated with my every move and although I just finished I can't help but get a little breathless.

"Do you wanna be my girlfriend y/n?" he asks, the use of my name instead of the pet names he's been calling me having a different effect on me. 

"I well, I just" I start tripping over my words again but he grabs my chin gently and dips it up and down, making the choice for me to nod yes as my answer. "Glad we got that cleared up" he says tapping me twice under my chin before straightening himself out and picking me up off the couch and carrying me into my room. 

"Wait Jungkook what are you doing?" I panic as I wrap my arms around his neck to help me balance. "I figured you might want a bath after what just happened so..." he trails off as he walks into the bathroom and sets me down on top of the counter before turning on the faucet and grabbing a bottle and tipping it contents into to make me a bubble bath. 

"Are you able to..." I trail off and he turns around and walks over to me, resting both hands on the counter on either side of my hips and giving me his undivided attention. "Am I able to what?" he asks, tilting his head and waiting for me to continue. "Can you take a bath with me too? Or is that not possible?" I ask, not having read hardly any of the instructions before turning him on. 

"If you're asking if I'm waterproof the answer is yes I can be submerged into water without issue" he says, tracing a finger against my jaw before tipping it up to place a chased kiss on my lips, turning back to the bath and making sure the temperature is alright before he starts to strip. 

I watch as he does so, curious to see if there are any real differences that I can spot but there really aren't. "Incredible" I mumble under my breath and he catches onto it. "Like what you see?" he chuckles and walks back over to me and lifts me up off the counter and reaches for my zipper. 

"No, I mean yes but I'm just so surprised how lifelike you are. Is that rude to say?" I cringe and he chuckles again,  letting his attention go back to undressing me as he lets my dress pool around my ankles scanning my body being fully bare to him and I gulp watching his reaction as I'm sure he's literally committing it to memory. 

"The answer is no, it's not rude" he says, his eyes trailing back up to mine as he places a hand on my waist and the other cupping my face with his thumb tracing along the bottom of my lip. "Your word is law to me. Whatever comes out of these two lips is true" he says and my breath hitches as he leans in close. 

I close my eyes and wait for the feeling of his lips against mine but when they don't reach me I look back up at him, his face dangerously close to mine making my heart rate pick up again. "What do you want me to do?" he rasps, his warm breath leaving goosebumps in their wake. "Kiss me" I whisper and close my eyes again and soon feel his lips on mine again. 

"Pick me up" I mumble through our kisses and he does just that and reads my mind by walking over to the tub and placing me in gently with him sinking in after me. I lay with my back up against the wall of the tub and take in a shaky breath once he crawls closer and hovers over me and before he can ask me again I'm sitting up and pressing my lips up against his again. 

He responds with a fervor and devours my lips, taking my breath away leaving me gasping for air once he notices. "Sorry, I forgot that I need to let you catch your breath sometimes huh?" he taunts and I roll my eyes but once I feel his finger dragging up and down my folds again he looks up at me. 

"Do you want my fi-" "No, just you" I say cutting him off with another kiss and he gets the message, lining himself up with me again and pressing in, this time making it a bit bigger making my back arch off the wall. "You can take it, shh" he says, pressing a kiss on my temple as I take in the stretch, shaky breaths being the only thing heard for a few more seconds before I nod my head. 

"That's my girl" he says, pulling back before rocking his hips back into me, setting a pace that makes my eyes roll back, still being sensitive from before but drunk on the feeling of him inside of me, hitting all the right spots making my toes curl. 

The water sloshes around and I'm taken out of the moment for a second when I hear a big splash of it hit the floor. "Jungkook I-" "I'll clean it up later" he says and smashes his lips against mine, picking up the pace and making an even bigger mess, a third of the water we stared with all over the floor. 

"Fuck Jungkook, f-faster" I pant out and he smirks as he sets in an inhuman pace that has me screaming his name, the wind knocked out of me and seconds later I'm cumming. 

I'm gulping down air once that initial wave dies down soon sending shockwaves in it's wake as he fucks me through it, slowing down to a lazier more sensual pace and when I open my eyes everything has gone so hazy. 

"You cried" he says, wiping a tear off of my face and I realize that's the clear cause for my vision. "Just when I thought you couldn't get any more temping you go and pull this" he says, leaning in to lick up the tears on my other cheek. 

"I hope you know I'm never letting you get away from me until you're a sobbing mess like you were just a second ago" he teases, cupping my face and looking at me, a clear want for more hidden behind those eyes but I shake my head.

"No more please, not tonight" I mumble and he chuckles and nods his head before he places one last kiss on my lips. "Should I fill up the tub again" he asks, his forehead against mine after having broken the kiss. 

"Oh! Um yeah if you wouldn't mind" I say awkwardly and he smiles and places a kiss on my forehead before he gets out of the tub and wraps a towel low around his waist and grabs the bottle again to fill up what will now be a nice relaxing bubble bath, emphasis on the relaxing aspect.

"Is everything okay?" he asks monitoring the temperature as the water fills up again. "I'm fine, I think I'm just trying to get used to this you know. Like us" I say and he nods his head, trying to understand but I can see that things are still not clear. 

"Jungkook you have been treating me so well and taking care of me and making sure I'm satisfied. I just need a second to process" I say and he looks up at me to gauge my sincerity and assesses that I'm being truthful. 

"Okay, I just don't want to do anything that you might not like" he says, insecure with the arrangement as well since well this was his first time too. Even though he's just a robot the lines between human and machine are so blurry after people have created things like him. 

"If I didn't like it I would've told you. You've been very receptive and have been working on finding my limits and I appreciate that and I'm more than satisfied with the way that you've been treating me. To be honest you're even better than I expected" I admit, hoping to lighten him up and luckily it does. 

"Oh yeah?" he smirks and I roll my eyes, "Don't get too far ahead of yourself. One good fuck does not equal perfection" I say, trying to deflate his ego but it only boosts his want to prove himself even more. 

"Remind me to ask you about that in a few days okay? Wanna make sure I've been making progress" he says and I go quiet, thoughts of what might happen between us in the coming days making me anxious. 

"If my body wasn't spent already I would make you put your money where your mouth is" I throw back moments later and he cocks a brow at me. 

"Well would you look at that, cute, funny and mouthy" he taunts and I recoil back into the corner of the tub when he stalks closer to me. "Might makeyou put that mouth of yours to work next time huh?" he says, caressing my jaw and running his thumb along my bottom lip "But I bet you'd like that a little too much" he say, tapping under my chin twice and heading towards the closet to get some extra towels to clean up the mess we made.

I observe him wordlessly as he mops up the floor until it's completely dry and he heads out to grab something or other and comes back into the bathroom with a new pair of jeans on, these ones tighter than the first pair. "Where did those clothes come from?" I ask, gulping at the sight of him back in his 'Man that I should steer clear of' aesthetic.

"They were in the box I came in" he says, slipping a white t shirt over his head. "I can always walk around shirtless if you'd like" he says, noticing the pout that I had unconsciously put on my face and I clear my throat and make excuses. 

"No that's okay. Whatever you're comfortable with, or I guess programed with is fine by me" I say and I stand up to get out of the tub and walk over to the shower to rinse off but when I try to my knees give out and he catches me, the white t shirt he's wearing now wet and I gulp at the sight of it. 

'I swear I'm such a slut' I think to myself.

"That might be the case but you're my slut now" he says and I flinch and try to get out of his hold. "Did you just read my mind?" I ask, fully confused as to how he could've known what I was thinking. "No silly you said that out loud...but it was kind of written all over your face anyways" he teases and push him off of me or at least try to but he guides me by my hips into the shower so I won't hurt myself. 

He leaves me to finish up on my own and places a towel nearby so I can dry of easily and when I walk into my room I can see he's sat on my bed wearing a new shirt, black this time but a little tighter than the one before.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asks, seeing the hesitance written across my face but I shake my head. 

"No, I have to get use to you seeing me naked anyway so might as well..." I say, cutting myself off and let my towel drop, "start now" I finish and I can see his eyes widen making me smile. I turn to walk towards my dresser, pulling out a two piece set instead of going through the effort of getting dressed again.

"You're just full of surprises aren't you?" he says having come up behind me and wrapping his arms around my bare waist, quickly tugging on one of my nipples making me yelp. "Jungkook what are you-" I start but he reaches into my drawer and grabs a nightgown instead...if you could even call it that. One gust of air and I'm completely exposed. 

"Wear this one" he whispers in my ear and places a kiss on my bare shoulder before leaving the room and wandering off to who knows were. 

'How did he even know that was in th-' I cut off my thoughts as the realization of what he might've done hits me. I slip on the one he had chosen and walk out and down the hallway into the living room and I catch a glimpse of him in the kitchen, seemingly making me something. 

"Did you go through my clothes?" I ask with a lilt in my voice, amused and honestly turned on at the thought. "No. I just took a look at your lingerie since I'm the one who's gonna be seeing it from now on. I just wanted to see what I have to look forward to" he says with his back turned to me and my cheeks heat up at his nonchalant attitude about it but I know for a fact he's just doing this to get a reaction out of me. 

"Looks like someone's eager" I say, walking over to him and wrapping my arms around his waist and look down on what he's making. "I hope you like breakfast for dinner" he says as he pours in the egg mixture and soon adds the filling making by my standards a perfect omelet. "I love it" I say taking a whiff of the mouth watering dish. 

"How did you even find all of this?" I ask, confused as to where all these ingredients came from. "While you were in the shower someone came and delivered your groceries so I just brought them in" he says and my mouth forms an 'o' forgetting I had set that up yesterday. "Oh yeah I forgot that was coming today. Thanks for bringing it all in" I say and he hums in response. 

After I'm all finished eating I'm honestly spent and when I go to rinse off my plate and put it in the dishwasher I feel him wrap his arms around my waist from behind, our roles now reversed. 

"You know why I wanted you to wear this right?" he rasps in my ear and starts placing more kisses on my neck making me almost forget the question but I decide to shake my head since I want him to tell me, the seduction in his words almost tangible. 

"Easy access" he says as he slips his hand under my nightgown and rests it on my stomach, slowly trailing down to slip under my waistband but I push him off after a second, remembering the ache he's caused between my legs.

"Nope, no more tonight" I say, turning around to face him and the innocence Ava had added to the list of traits coming through as he's standing there pouting at me. "Come on let's go to bed" I laugh grabbing his hand and he drags his feet behind me as he follows, still not happy with the outcome of it all. 

"Fine..." he says and takes off the jeans and t shirt he just put on about an hour ago and places them on a chair next to what is now his side of the bed. "but take these off" he says, walking over to me and grabbing the waistband of my underwear and snapping it back into place again. 

"Hey!" I call out and he chuckles as he walks back over to his side of the bed and gets under the covers and waits for me to do as he asks. I narrow my eyes at him for a second but ultimately do it granting him 'easy access' as he's called it for tomorrow morning when he no doubt fucks me back to sleep.

Once I'm finished he tugs on my arm and makes me topple down on the bed in a fit of giggles. "You're so cute when you laugh" he says, caressing my face once we've settled in beside each other and I smile. 

"You think so?" I ask and he nods his head. "You look even prettier when you cum though" he says and I widen my eyes and sit up and wack him on his chest before turning around to face away from him. I feel the bed shift as he switches his position and soon put an arm around my waist and pull me back to him so my back is flush with his chest.

"You're insufferable" I mumble and he laughs, "Goodnight love" he says and I get a fluttery feeling in my stomach. "Goodnight Jungkook" I say back and he places one last kiss on my bare shoulder before I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

"Dream of me" he says right before I pass out and I do, I dream of all we could possible do together...what he's going to do to me and it makes me want to pull myself out of the dream to get to him now but I know he'll be there when I wake up. 

'How to bang your robot' Ava's voice echoes in my head while I'm lost in la la land and I smile...

Oh how informative it was indeed.

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[if-you-soul]

Mischaracterization in the CCCC fandom: a yapsesh (alternative title: Erm... What the Gore is Going On?)

Hi. Woaw. I'm actually making that post I talked about.

So. One thing I've noticed in the CCCC fandom is this weird fixation on gore, torture, violence, etc. Usually a level of graphic content that makes your average horror flick look... pretty tame!

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy horror! I even think a horror story based around psychological conflict similar to CCCC could work well!

But is it just me, or has this fandom COMPLETELY lost track of what the characters are like in the source material?

Like. Let's be real. Nowhere in the album does Soul do gruesome surgeries on Mind, nowhere does Mind go ripping people to shreds like Doomguy, et cetera. The closest thing we have to an implication of violence is what most of us call the "Juno incident"- as even "tines stabbed through eyes" is clearly a metaphor with the next line: "that the sides have condemned."

Im gonna talk ab the characters themselves under the cut

I feel the biggest victim of this mischaracterization is Soul. In the album he's... kind of a victim, really. He toughs out being dismissed and fought over and pushed aside and outright dehumanized for so, so long. Are we seriously just... going to characterize him based solely on his lowest point in TSE? Spring and a Storm and Mucka Blucka are also songs where he's present- along with his presence in Just Apathy that the fandom seems to outright deny to keep their characterization of him as some violent, abusive monster. (Which, again, is quite literally never alluded to! He's honestly kind of a victim, if anything!)

Ohhkay. Next topic. Mind. Oh boy I have thoughts on how people characterize Mind.

He's not emotionless. If you believe this, you've fallen for his stoic facade. All of his songs are just. So full of so much rage. Maybe even a little bit of grief and sadness and fear, masked by said rage. He isn't some emotionless robot- (Heart calls him an automaton as an insult, but that's another rant.) and honestly it feels like such a disservice to such an interesting character with so much unexplored depth to portray him as such.

Heart. Oh boy. Where do I start. Heart what did they do to you.

Heart is the emotional side, yes, but that isn't just some... smol innocent uwu baby who cries all the time. Emotions aren't small and cute and timid. They're INTENSE and PASSIONATE and EXHAUSTING. Strong emotions leave you so, so drained, good OR bad. This is so much more interesting than portraying him as some "uwu hai dere!!" type of character. Which is nowhere in the album.

Whole is hardly even a character. Soul worshipping and praying to whole is fanon.

This fandom's weird obsession with creating shock gore and one-upping each other in a violence competition has spiraled pretty far out of control, and it's honestly crazy. How do you go from an album about internal conflict to violence that would make even the cast of Resident Evil cringe? Brah.

Final notes uhhh. Soul is a victim who got pushed to his limit, not an evil heartless abuser. Mind is angry and unstable and hurt, not some emotionless robot. Heart is the entire emotional spectrum, not some innocent baby. Ok i . I think that's all. Have a good one

[daniswoso]

“Ay dios mio.”

Alexia Putellas x Reader

Warnings: suggestive, alluded smut at the end, but no actually smut if that makes sense, hatred which turns out to be r and AP being dumbasses in love.

Summary: Maybe you don’t hate ‘La Reina’ as much as you thought you did.

You and Alexia had been rivals for as long as you could remember. She was snarky, often making snide remarks on the pitch, she was mean and often times her comments actually hurt your feelings. Though you'd never admit to that.

She pissed you off. Everything about her pissed you off. Her perfect eyes, her stupidly perfect face, her nice body, her ridiculously kind personality off the pitch, the way she'd stop and take pictures with fans even when she was in the biggest rush of her life. You hated just how perfect she was, how drop dead fucking gorgeous she was to you.

God, you had it bad for Alexia Putellas.

***

When the World Cup rolled around, you were ecstatic to have received a call up. And you had gladly accepted.

You felt like you were floating on air as you arrived in Australia. Then you found out you were doomed to share a room with her. Of all the people on the Spanish national team, it just had to be her, didn't it?

Your face scrunched in annoyance at the sight of your name next to Alexia's on the piece of paper the coach had given you. Why her of all people?

Alexia must have been thinking the same, as you saw her face scrunch in disgust, mumbling “Ay dios mio.” (Oh my God) Under her breath, in that stupidly perfect voice of her's. God you hated her. Well, not exactly her, but rather how much you liked her.

God, you really, really liked her.

***

Upon arriving at the room, Alexia having gone shortly before you, you saw Alexia outside. She appeared to be struggling with the keycard.

"Joder." (Fuck.) She mumbled.

"Need some help, la reina?" (The Queen.) You said sarcastically.

***

Alexia's pov.

"Need some help, la reina?" (The Queen.) Y/N said. You froze upon hearing the voice, grumbling before wordlessly passing the keycard to her and rolling your eyes.

God you hated how perfect she looked with that cocky grin on her face. The one she got whenever she sunk a goal into the back of Barca's net when she played against them.

"What's the matter, Putellas? Cat got your tongue, eh?" She teased. God you hated her. And how good she always managed to look, even jet lagged and tired. And how her teeth are so pearly white it's enough to make you swoon and how her stupidly bright eyes are so kind and- Oh.

This wasn't hate. This was a crush.

You grimaced, turning your head to the side and walking inside, hearing her grumble, "Supongo que sí." (I guess so) and walking in behind you.

***

Y/N'S POV.

What happened with Alexia outside threw you off, usually she would make a comment back, take the mick a little bit. But she hadn't. She sounded almost disappointed? But for what?

You decided to push it into the back of your mind, ignoring everything about 'La Reina' . God, you hated her. No you don't, you remind yourself, cringing when you realise that what you thought was hate that you had for Alexia could very well be... a crush.

Dios mio, you thought as you placed your bags down on the bed. Sighing heavily you wiped your forehead for sweat, grimacing when you realised you had been sweating since before you had even landed. You needed a shower.

As you turned to go to the shower, you see Alexia. In only her Barcelona training shorts and a sports bra. You couldn't stop your eyes wandering down to her impeccable abs.

She quirked an eyebrow, smirking smugly. "My eyes are up here, amiga." (Friend.) She said smugly, taking a step toward you as your eyes snapped up to hers.

"Hm. And what nice eyes they are." You muttered, trying to not let her hear, knowing she'd hang it over your head for months to come.

"Oh so my eyes are nice?" She chuckled, taking another step. Your eyes travelled back down to her abs.

"Maybe." You hummed, eyes meeting hers again as she lifts your chin with her index finger. She smirked.

"Is that a maybe?" She said, her eyes flicking down to your lips as she licks her own slightly. "Or is it a yes?" She stared into your eyes softly.  She smelled like her perfume. Her stupidly nice smelling perfume. And her breath smelled like mint, it was like a breath of chilled air when you felt her breath against your face.

"And what if it was a yes, La Reina?" You decided to bite, playing into Alexia's little teasing game. You smirked slightly, quirking an eyebrow.

"Then I might kiss you."

That was all it took before your lips were on hers, shoving your bags off your bed before straddling her hips and deepening the kiss, which she was more than happy to reciprocate, gripping your hips.

"Maybe I don't hate you." She breathed out as you part.

"Maybe I don't hate you either, Reina." You chuckled, making her smile.

"Shut up and kiss me."

"Okay."

******

A/N: enjoy!

[steddiealltheway]

The final steddie (and ronance) brain rot of the day (maybe)

For some reason, Eddie and Robin are convinced that Steve and Nancy are still in love with each other.

And the thing is, he and Nancy have talked about it and agreed that they got over their feelings for each other long ago. Sure, they still love each other and always probably will, but it’s completely platonic. But for some reason, Eddie and Robin will not hear them out.

So much so, that they’ve got them cornered while they all are hanging out in Eddie’s trailer. It’s like they purposely picked somewhere they could literally corner them with no room to escape.

“Now, Nancy, you’re going to watch as I interact with Steve and see how jealous it makes you,” Robin says as she approaches Steve.

Steve cringes as Robin gets in his face and twirls her short hair obnoxiously. “Hi, Steve-”

“Nope!” Steve says and backs as far away as he can. Once upon a time, he would’ve loved if Robin had approached him like that, but now they are strictly platonic soulmates and Steve’s feelings for her are long gone.

“Agreed,” Robin says while also cringing. “But Nancy, didn’t you feel a bit jealous?”

Steve turns to Nancy who he thinks is going to say no and move on. But she has a confused look on her face as she stares at Robin. “Uhh… yes actually,” Nancy admits.

Steve feels a bit of nausea, but then he notices the way she’s looking at Robin. And he knows that look. No way…

Eddie points at Nancy and announces, “Exactly! Now, Steve, you’re going to watch as Nancy and I interact. If… Nancy is fine with that.”

Nancy just nods her head slowly as if she’s still in shock. But then Eddie quickly approaches her and brushes a strand of hair out of her face, “Hi, beautiful.”

Nancy laughs loudly and pushes at Eddie’s chest as he laughs back at the ridiculousness of the situation. And then Steve feels it. In the pit of his stomach, the way his heart tightens, and in the stinging behind his eyes… there’s the jealousy.

Nancy glances over to him, but Steve can’t help but stare at Eddie. It’s as if… holy shit.

Steve turns to Nancy who makes eye contact with him. And they’ve been close for long enough to both know that the other knows exactly what’s happening. “Yes, I feel jealous,” Steve admits.

Nancy walks over to Steve and stands next to him as they look at Eddie and Robin. Who look conflicted with pride and a bit of hurt.

“That’s great guys,” Eddie says with a tight smile that screams this is not great.

“Yeah,” Robin says as her voice cracks a bit and she avoids eye contact with them.

“Hear me out,” Steve says, “Nance and I are going to run our own experiment. Starting with her and Robin interacting, and I’ll see how I feel.”

Nance shoots him a look of half panic and half gratitude. Robin nervously looks at Steve as Nancy approaches her. “Hi, Robin. You know, I’ve always kind of had this thing for you, but I don’t think I was ever jealous. I think I just… had feelings for you that I didn’t understand.”

Robin breath hitches, and Steve smiles widely. He’s over the moon at the moment. “Yep, I feel no jealousy. Strange, right?”

“Now, Eddie and Steve are going to interact, and I’m going to see how jealous I get,” Nancy says with a big smile.

Steve slowly approaches Eddie who is already starting to get a flush of pink over his cheeks. He reaches up to pull hair in front of his face, but Steve pushed the hair behind his ears to stare at him. “Have I ever told you that you have the most beautiful eyes?” Steve flirts easily, realizing what he’s saying is absolutely true and he has no idea how he didn’t know it before. “Eddie, I really want to ask you out and listen to your latest campaign ideas as always but over pizza or something maybe in your bed…”

“Oh, gross, Steve,” Robin says.

“Not jealous!” Nancy says with a huge smile.

Steve goes back to Nancy side and looks at Robin and Eddie who stare at them in slight shock. “It’s as if…” Steve trails off.

“Steve and I are more jealous of each other if you think about it,” Nancy finishes off.

Robin and Eddie look at them in confusion before they both seem to get it at the same time. The pair looks at each other with responses varying between “holy shit” and “oh my god.”

Eddie goes as far as picking Robin up and twirling her around. “We just accidentally set ourselves up!” Robin cheers as she spins in Eddie’s arms.

When he sets her down Robin continues, “If that’s good with you guys…”

Steve and Nancy look at each other and smile. “Absolutely,” they both say.

One double date later, Steve and Nancy truly solidify that there are absolutely no feelings for each other except for happiness.

[hwangyu]

slipping up with beomgyu

pairing; choi beomgyu x fem reader

warnings; pregnancy sex, daddy kink, gyu calls reader pretty girl and also refers to himself as daddy ... i think that's it ! is this cringe? 😭 18+ minors do not interact or else it's the block

wc; 635

being pregnant made you form the habit of referring to beomgyu as daddy to the little one in your tummy. "that's your daddy, isn't it?" or "your daddy loves you so much." and so on. you did it a lot. maybe too much, but your husband seemed to eat it up every time and it's not like he didn't refer to you as mommy to your guys' baby as well.

despite your habit, when you were talking to him directly, you never seemed to have a problem. most of the time. maybe you've slipped up here and there, but it's only been once or twice.

you definitely never expected to slip up in bed.

you were underneath him, hair splayed out on the bed and his hands wrapped around your wrist, keeping them above your head as he slammed his cock into you. beomgyu let out a breathy laugh, "that's my pretty girl, feels good, doesn't it?"

you moaned softly, "yes…yes, feels so good." you babbled. "please, please don't stop. tell me you won't stop…"

beomgyu cooed at you. oh, how cute you were when he fucked you like this, how cute you always were. "don't worry, sweetie, i'm not gonna stop. you're so gorgeous, aren't you? drooling and all…" he pointed out, taking one hand off your wrist to run his thumb along your bottom lip. "my cock's just that good, huh?"

you spread your legs open a little wider as he continued to fuck into you, letting out a choked moan and occasional whimper every time he thrusted back into you. you could only moan his name, unable to find the energy to form any coherent words, too focused on the way beomgyu was talking to you and fucking you.

"daddy," you whined and it took you a second to long to realize what you had let out and your eyes widened and his thrusts slowed down while a smirk grew on his face. your chest started to heave and your brows upturned, "n-no…i didn't— 'm sorry-"

"oh, yeah?" beomgyu cut you off, leaning down into your face so close you thought you were going to explode. "i'm your daddy now, am i?"

you shook your head, still mortified. yet, you clenched around him which only elicited another laugh from him. "please! it slipped, please, don't tease, c'mon…"

"no, it's alright, baby." he reassured you, running his hand down your side, "it's okay. you don't hear me complaining, do you?" beomgyu rhetorically asked before he slowly started to move his hips again. "daddy'll keep making you feel real good, won't he?"

you let out another whine, this time louder, squirming slightly and he snapped his hand to your hips, digging into nails into your skin. continuing to slowly fuck into you, he fell silent for a short second before he spoke again when he realized you weren't. "answer me, pretty. that was a question."

"ohhh, please." you cried and in response he lightly scratched at your skin, "i told you to answer me, baby. listen to your daddy like the good girl you are, okay?" oh, the way he kept teasing you like that, you almost actually wanted to cry. you were sure your face was incredibly red.

weakly, you nodded, "yes, h-he will, yes…" you mumbled—thankfully, that was enough to satisfy him and his slow pace got relatively faster. "that's right. daddy's gonna make you cum all over his cock." beomgyu added and finally returned the pace he was at previously, before your little slip up.

it was safe to say you came hard and you wondered if he came even harder. it was also safe to say he kept teasing you about it afterwards. not to mention he made you promise to use it again sometime too, and who were you to deny him?

a/n; i think ab this scenario a loooot guys .... 😔😔😔perpetual brainrot !!!

[ohmtoff]

you made me think ab nerd nick too damn much its concerning. imagine jerking him off while he yaps ab his geeky stuff, stuttering and his words slurring when you squeeze around his tip

ANON…. youre actually my soulmate how did we think of the same thing (nsfw)

nerdy nick who’s far sighted so he regularly wears his glasses that make his eyes look bigger and just adorable. his wardrobe consists of graphic tees and hoodies that fit him awkwardly and his hair is most of the time disheveled.

nerdy nick whose budget goes to cosplay and comic con because those things are expensiveee and his brothers try their hardest to support him by helping him make the costumes (imagine nick unironically doing the anime hands thing around chris and matt and they try not to cringe LMFAOOOOO).

nerdy nick who yaps soooo much about his interests, from lord of the rings lore to his fav doctor from doctor who. i can just IMAGINE him making video essays complaining ab the new live action avatar series and how it doesnt hold up to the original series.

nerdy nick who’s the same sassy and witty guy as we know but he also puts that energy to defend his fav characters on the internet. best believe he has a stan account. many of his tattoos are dedicated to his comfort characters as well.

nerdy nick whose interests look innocent to others but behind closed doors he regularly reads and writes the most sheet gripping, back arching, toe curling smut about his fav fictional men. erwin from aot, thorin from the hobbit, ALL of jujutsu kaisen. he furiously stroked his dick to the thought of getting fucked dumb by nanami.

nerdy nick who acted normal and talks about regular stuff when he first met you but when he gets comfortable with you he immediately starts yapping. you think he’s just the most adorable thing when his eyes light up when talking about all his interests. you don’t even know what he’s talking about but your attention is hooked. nick, however, was used to people pretending to care about what he’s talking about so he stops himself.

“i’m sorry. ugh, i always talk too much, that was weird and boring”

“no, no, it’s fine. so… uruk-hais are bred between orcs and humans?”

nick wanted to suck your dick right then and there.

having sex with anime playing in the background was not rare between you two. one time, you both were watching an episode when you got distracted by how his tongue was peeking out with concentration. you noticed how fat his tongue was and how red his lips were. those same lips were wrapped around your cock not long after that. nick was gagging and moaning around it, his eyes bubbling up with tears streaming down his flushed cheeks as he jerked you off from the base. saliva would drip from his mouth, running down his chin as he struggled to take everything down. he was still wearing those same glasses, sliding down his nose from the sweat. he looks up at you with those big puppy eyes, tears running down his face. the sight makes you groan and shove your dick further into his throat. you thought he looked absolutely beautiful with cum streaks on his glasses.

nerdy nick who sometimes rambles too much and in these times you love teasing him. “come on, baby, tell me more,” you whispered to the back of his ear as he writhed and thrashed on your chest, pants gone and his swollen cock red and dripping as you squeezed the base. “time- time lords have two hearts, so,” he lets out a pathetic whine, “so the doctor never dies, he—mmnghh—they instead regenerate into a new body-AH-“ you squeeze and dug your thumb into his leaking tip. his chest heaves and he pants like a dog. “fu—uck, please, please, please. i wann- i wanna cum, oh please.” you think he deserves it so you quicken your strokes and let him cum. his mouth releasing unintelligible noises while those beautiful blue eyes go cross eyed.

nerdy nick who becomes your person and who you will go to endless comic cons with, watch a new series with, and who eventually will turn you into an even bigger nerd than he is😩🤞🏼

a/n: i wrote this without pause wtf

[roosterforme]

The Curveball Part 13 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Molly didn't think life with Bob could get any better. Then their son arrives, and she's proven wrong yet again. She doesn't know what the future holds, but she knows that she wants her family with her for every adventure. And that starts with a trip down a grassy path through some wildflowers.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, swears, pregnancy, smut, 18+

Length: 3900 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story accompanies Batting Practice!)

Check my masterlist for more! The Curveball masterlist

Thank you to @mak-32 and @teacupsandtopgun for the beautiful banners!

With the number of times Bob had to field the question, "So how did you and Molly get engaged?" you would have thought he could answer it by now without blushing. But he couldn't. Not even close. 

The only ones who knew what really happened were Nat, Bradley and Molly's sister. Nat kept calling Molly 'a goddamn legend'. Bradley cringed. And Molly's sister just said, "Yeah, that tracks."

But Molly kept those pretty Mrs. Floyd nipple piercings in for him, and he loved her even more for it. Her belly had gotten so big by Valentine's Day, he didn't know how she'd make it all the way to her due date in another four weeks. She looked absolutely exhausted after every shift in the emergency room, and more often than not, she ended up falling asleep on the couch with him after dinner while they watched a murder documentary. 

"Mo," he whispered on Friday night after she fell asleep mostly on top of him on the couch, his big hand splayed over her belly. His son was squirming a bit as he stroked her soft skin. She was incredible. His Molly. They hadn't decided exactly when they were going to get married, but she kept talking about wildflower meadows. So he agreed to wait until the summer, after the baby was born. 

He had to whisper her name a few times before she jolted awake. "Hmm?" she moaned. "Bobby, I was in the middle of a delicious nap." He kissed her lips when she pouted at him. 

"Let's get in bed, Honey," he said softly, pulling her shirt down over her belly. "We have to babysit Ev tomorrow so your sister and Bradley can go out for Valentine's Day."

She smirked at him. "They like to do dirty shit in the Bronco."

Bob just shrugged. "We do dirty stuff in my truck all the time."

She moaned softly as she said, "We sure do, Lieutenant Floyd." Bob's eyes slowly closed as Molly's hand skimmed down his abs and into the waistband on his underwear. "Dirty stuff everywhere. Anything my fiancé wants."

Bob grunted as her small hand wrapped around his cock, and her lips grazed his stubbled jaw. He was getting harder as she stroked him slowly, tongue darting out to taste his neck. "Molly," he moaned, bucking up into her hand as she teased his tip. But she just hummed against him as she jerked him off. And then her hand slowly came to a stop until she was just softly cupping his balls.

And then he heard her soft, even breathing next to his ear, and Bob couldn't help but laugh. She actually fell asleep while she was giving him a handjob. Bob thought for a moment that maybe a less secure man would be insulted, and maybe that's what Molly was used to in the past, but he knew she was beyond tired right now. 

He kissed her forehead and gently eased her hand back out from his underwear. "It's bedtime," he whispered, and she jolted awake again.

"No," she said, shaking her head and trying to reach for his cock. 

"Yes," he replied with a chuckle as he slid out from under her without being too rough with her bump. "Come on, and I'll rub your back until you fall asleep in bed."

"Mmkay," she agreed, bleary eyed as Bob led her to their bedroom. He helped her get undressed, kneeling in front of her and placing some gentle kisses to her belly like he did every night. 

"I love you," he whispered as Molly ran her fingers through his hair. The nightly conversations with his son were something he was definitely going to keep doing after the baby was born. "I can't wait to meet you. We just finished getting your nursery ready. I hope you like baseball, because your Uncle Bradley and I went a little nuts in there."

"That's an understatement," Molly whispered. "They went flipping bananas."

Bob cupped her pretty belly with both of his hands and smiled. "Mommy's right. We did go overboard."

He watched Molly yawn before she said, "It's okay. Everett and Piper will teach him all about baseball." And then she kept yawning, so Bob got her settled into bed with a pillow tucked against her belly. He set his glasses on the nightstand and turned off the lamp. And then he climbed in behind her as the big spoon and kissed the engagement ring she was wearing. 

"You wanna talk about baby names?" he asked, rubbing his hand along her side, because he knew it would make her sleepy.

"I only like a handful of names," she replied, and Bob could hear the pout in her voice even though the room was dark. 

"Come on, Mo. Literally anything except Everett. Your sister will never forgive you."

"Yeah, but my nephew will think it's funny, and that's almost enough motivation for me to do it."

Bob groaned. "What's your second favorite name?"

It took Molly a few moments, but eventually she said, "I want to name him after you."

"Robert Junior?" he said, already shaking his head. "RJ?" He didn't like it at all.

"No. Your middle name. We can call him Charlie," she mumbled, obviously dozing off.

Now Bob smiled as he kissed his sleeping fiancee on the shoulder. "Charlie Floyd."

-----------------------------

Since it wasn't a leap year, Molly knew Bob wasn't really getting a birthday. "Still only eight years old," she told him on February twenty eighth. She was straddling his lap on the couch, but her belly was fucking enormous now and always in the way. He didn't seem to mind though as he gently held her and cradled her and the baby. She kissed down his cheek until she got to his lips. "You look terrible for your age."

Bob burst out laughing. "Thanks, Honey. Hoping the kid gets your genetics."

"Call him by his name," she whispered. 

"Charlie," Bob said with a smile. There was no room left for Charlie to move around too much, but he always seemed to know when Bob was nearby. He was currently squirming so much, Molly was getting heartburn. 

"He just wants his daddy all the time," she said, running her hands slowly over Bob's chest. "I want his daddy all the time, too."

"Yeah?" Bob asked cautiously. It was really difficult to fuck now. Molly was always uncomfortable. But she knew Bob was never going to rush her. So they spent about five minutes getting her propped up on the couch with throw pillows.

"This is a lot of work for you to get some birthday sex, Bobby," she crooned as his erection bumped her repeatedly in the leg while he made sure she was comfortable. 

"It's worth it," he replied as he sank into her warm pussy.

"Oh, yeah... definitely worth it," she agreed, rocking back gently to meet his slow thrusts. It was unhurried and perfect, and Bob's big hands wrapped around to her belly made her feel safe. 

But later that evening, she knew she had to do something she really didn't want to do. "Bob, it's time," she said solemnly as she stood with her jewelry box in both hands. 

"I understand," he whispered, taking it from her and sitting down on their bed. He sighed sadly and watched her pull her shirt over her head followed by her sports bra. And then the pretty Mrs. Floyd piercings had to come out. She almost laughed at the sad look on his face as she put them in her jewelry box and closed the lid.

"They'll be back. I promise."

"I know," he whispered, kissing along both of her breasts and nuzzling her with his nose. She felt like she looked all swollen and misshapen, but he didn't seem to mind as he kissed her everywhere.

-------------------------

"You can't be serious right now," Molly groaned the following night as she nibbled on some pizza. Everyone was out for Bob's fake birthday at the usual restaurant. "You're going to Disney World? Without me?!" she asked Everett.

Bob tried not to laugh as his soon to be nephew looked genuinely upset. "Mom, can we bring Aunt Molly with us?" he whispered.

But Molly just laughed and kissed him. "No, this vacation is for you and your parents. Besides, the baby will be too young this summer. I'll come next time."

"How much longer until the baby comes?" Everett asked her looking at her belly hopefully. "This is taking forever."

"Hopefully just a few more days," Bob supplied, offering Molly more pizza. But she hadn't even finished one slice yet, just sipping some apple juice instead. 

"No," she told him. "I don't feel great today."

Then Bob noticed the ridiculous grin on Everett's face where he sat perched on Bradley's lap. "I got a new dad. I'm getting my very own cousin, and even an Uncle Bob!"

"You're living your best life, my man," Molly told him. "It's like you planned this all out."

But she really didn't look comfortable at all, and Bob knew she was struggling with fatigue now. So he kissed her cheek, insisted on paying for dinner, and started to herd everyone outside. As soon as he opened the passenger side door of his truck and tried to help her in, she started shaking her head. 

"I'm going to throw up," she insisted and started heading for some of the shrubs along the side of the parking lot. "Oh. Oh no."

But she didn't throw up. Her water broke. Bob froze as Molly turned to look at him as she started crying. "I just peed," she whispered.

Then his adrenaline kicked in fully, and he closed the distance to her. "Honey, I think your water broke," he said gently, and she gasped, panic all over her face.

"No," she said, shaking her head more. "I'm not ready."

"I don't think we have much choice," he told her carefully as he guided her back to the truck. Her sister had already left with Bradley and Everett, so he would have to call them once they got to the hospital. But he needed to focus on this first, because Molly was starting to lose it.

"I can't do this. I can't!" she nearly screamed, fighting him as he tried to get her into the truck. Her pink leggings were all wet, and she was scrambling in every direction seemingly at the same time. "I don't want to," she informed him, eyes wide and unsure. 

"I'll be with you the whole time," he whispered, kissing her cheek. He was over prepared. He knew that. But he'd been sending Molly around everywhere with her hospital bag which he had packed for her, and it was currently tucked behind the driver's seat. She was as ready as she was going to be whether she wanted to admit it or not. 

Once he was finally pulling out of the parking lot with Molly successfully buckled in, Bob felt the panic as well, but he tried to keep his cool. Then suddenly Molly clutched at her belly and loudly groaned, "Shit."

"What?!"

"Is that a contraction?" she asked, gripping at the door handle. "Shit! Fucking hurts!"

When they finally got to the hospital, things had gotten worse. He took her in through the emergency room since that was where she worked. Everyone ran out to watch Bob wheel her inside in a wheelchair. She was gripping the arms and looking back up at him like he was absolutely ruining her day by bringing her here. 

"Molly's here!" one of her coworkers yelled.

Molly responded by crying and shouting, "Fuck!" But nobody seemed to think this was unexpected. They just helped Bob along to the elevator and opened all of the necessary doors to get her to the labor and delivery area.

"Thanks," he told them as another nurse let him know he could take Molly into room two. There were new mothers and nurses pushing bassinets around. It was serene. Peaceful. Really one of the loveliest things Bob had ever seen. And he was currently interrupting it by pushing Molly through as she moaned the f-word so loud and so long that nearly everyone was turning to look. 

"It's okay, Honey," he promised as he got her into room number two. 

"No, Bob!" she shouted. "It is fucking not okay! I feel like I pissed myself. I look like I pissed myself. And Charlie fucking hates me, because it hurts so much!"

She was doubled over, holding her belly. The pain on her face as she had a contraction made Bob reach for her instantly. A tear slid down her cheek, and she whimpered. And then the obscenities flowed. 

Bob tried to apologize to all of the nurses as Molly called them 'fucking assfucks', but they didn't seem to mind at all. He did however close the door as her contractions got closer together.

Hours later, after he had called his mom and Molly's sister and told them what was going on, Bob was exhausted. But he knew Molly was much worse off in that department. She was soaked with sweat and was currently glaring at him. 

"I hope you're happy, Bob," she growled, eyes flashing. "Your monster cock did this to me. Lulled me into a false sense of sexual bliss. And then your filthy mega sperm took over, and finished the job."

She looked like she wanted to hurt him, and he had to try very hard not to laugh as he held her hand. "I'm sorry, Mo. I'll never do it again," he promised.

Then she started crying. "You'll never fuck me again?"

"That's not what I meant!" he said quickly, but she was already in tears. And she said the word 'cuntbag' so many times in a row while she pushed that he lost count. 

"I see the baby," the doctor finally announced after what seemed like days. 

"Get it out! Get it fucking out!" Molly screamed, and Bob felt like screaming too. She had such a tight grip on his fingers, he was sure she cracked some bones. 

But when she looked at him, clearly scared, he kissed her sweaty forehead and told her he had never been more impressed by anyone in his entire life. And it was the truth. She looked like she was on the verge of passing out when the doctor announced that it was in fact a boy and gave the time of birth. After Charlie was measured and weighed, one of the nurses placed him in Molly's arms. 

"I don't know what to do," she whispered, carefully holding him against her chest with one arm and stroking his cheek with her fingers. "I don't know what to do." But her gaze was transfixed on their son, and her lips were softly parted in wonder. Bob could already tell that Charlie was the perfect baby. Little puckered lips and eyes that were fighting to stay open against the bright overhead lights. 

"Oh my god," Bob whispered, leaning down to kiss his son. "Molly. He's actually perfect."

Her fingers stroked along his soft skin while Bob held onto one tiny fist. "He actually is."

---------------------------

The only problem with the next few months was that they flew by. All of Bob's aviator friends had covered the pickup truck in yellow and black BABY ON BOARD signs the day they took Charlie home from the hospital. Molly thought it was hilarious, but Bob grumbled as he removed all of them. 

To Molly's extreme annoyance, Charlie seemed to prefer Bradley over all of their other visitors. Everett was overjoyed every time he got to sit with the baby, and her sister was already helping Molly with literally everything under the sun. But it was Bradley who was able to calm Charlie down and get him to fall asleep on his chest. 

"I'm the baby whisperer," he informed everyone every time he had the opportunity. 

"You're Uncle Turd," Molly told him, but Bradley just smiled at her. She couldn't be too mean, because she needed his help. He was the one who was supposed to be distracting Bob for an entire day while Molly got her wedding gift for him finished. 

She wasn't sure what the two men were going to do after the batting cages, but Molly didn't really care. She had approximately seven hours from the time she dropped Charlie off with her sister to the time she had to be back home. The wedding was in a week, the bodice of her dress was sheer lace, and she wanted the tattoo to be perfect. 

After she told her tattoo artist the exact placement she wanted and the colors to use, she sat back in the chair in her bra with her arm over her head. Molly looked down at the stretch marks on her still puffy belly. Instead of talking to Charlie there every night, Bob sat in the nursery for fifteen minutes and chatted while he rocked him to sleep. And then he did any number of sweet or dirty things to her before they fell asleep together for a few precious hours until the baby woke them up. 

But Bob never once made her feel like her weird looking belly was an issue for him. And when she brought it up one night with tears threatening behind her eyes, he told her she was more beautiful than anything he could have ever dreamed up. And Bob never lied. 

"All finished," the artist said, wiping along her skin with a towel one last time and handing her a mirror. 

A big, bold violet. A beautiful, blooming daffodil. And even a small pink rosebud. Bob, Charlie and Bradley. "Looks great."

----------------------------

As soon as Molly showed Bob her tattoo, he wrapped her up in his arms. "Gorgeous, Honey," he said, kissing her before examining it a little closer. He ran his fingers along the colorful carnations that were there for her mom and dad, and when he got to the daffodil that she got for Charlier, his fingers froze. There was a small gap between his flower and their son's flower, and when he looked up at Molly she was smiling. "Is it finished now?" he asked cautiously. 

She just shrugged. "I'm not sure yet."

Bob would never pressure her to have another child with him. He hadn't really expected to get this lucky in life, let alone feel bold enough to hope for anything more. But that little gap gave him butterflies. Charlie was the sweetest baby in the world, and Bob was obsessed with being a dad. It was his favorite thing. And he wouldn't hesitate to list the condo and find a bigger place if Molly wanted to do this all over again. "You just let me know."

"I will, Coach Cute Daddy."

Bob held her close, knowing they needed to get ready for bed soon. Charlie was still notorious for waking them up at three in the morning to eat, even though he was four months old. Molly kept saying he would probably grow out of it soon, but Bob figured his son loved them so much, he wanted them in the nursery with him. 

"Are you ready for Saturday?" he asked, taking his glasses off as Molly climbed into bed.

"Are you asking if I'm ready for the dream wedding that I've spent months planning out? Then yes, I'm ready. All you have to do is show up with the baby, agree to marry me, kiss me, and fuck me. Not all in the wildflower meadow."

Bob kissed along her shoulder as she fell asleep. Molly made him laugh more than he ever had before. And Charlie made him smile more than he ever had before. And by Saturday evening, he'd be married. 

----------------------

"I can't believe my wild child of a baby sister is getting married today."

Molly sighed contentedly and said, "To Bob Floyd. The sweet, shy man of my dreams."

Her sister laughed and added, "I don't think Bob was planning on anything like you happening to him."

Molly scoffed as she picked up her bouquet made entirely of gas station flowers. "Anything like me? You mean getting his world rocked and having a kid after being together less than a year? He's lucky."

"He is," she agreed, kissing Molly's cheek. "Now please explain to me why you are getting married with these cheap flowers when there's literally an entire meadow of multicolored poppies and zinnias growing outside?"

Molly pressed her nose to them. "Because Bob picked them up for me last night, and they're my favorite. The other flowers can learn some respect."

"If you say so," she replied, taking Molly by the hand. "As soon as I can give you away, you are one hundred percent Bob's problem." But she was holding tight to Molly's hand, and it sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

Molly walked outside with her sister and started down the grassy path toward the spot where Bob was holding Charlie in the distance. "I will never stop being your problem. And Bradley's problem by proximity."

"Good," her sister whispered, and Molly smiled at her as she cried a little bit. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

And then they walked toward the setting sun past the most beautiful shades of orange, green and yellow Molly could imagine. And it probably wasn't like other weddings, but the best ones weren't. 

They stopped so Molly could give hugs and kisses to Bob's parents and the rest of his family. And they stopped so she could get a kiss on the forehead from Bradley. "Love you, turd," she whispered. 

"Hey," he said in his raspy voice as she kissed Everett. "You owe me forever for agreeing to coach tee ball with Bob."

"And you owe me forever for letting you marry my sister," she replied easily.

He just nodded thoughtfully. "You're right. We're square."

Molly was laughing as she handed her gas station flowers off to Nat with a hug, and then she was standing in front of Bob and Charlie. 

"Hey, Honey," Bob whispered as she took Charlie from his hands so she could hold him for a bit while he napped. She kissed his soft chubby cheek, and his eyes fluttered open before closing again. 

Then she met Bob's greenish blue eyes, and he was looking at her like that very first day at tee ball, over a year ago. Like he couldn't believe she was giving him the time of day. She took a step closer to him, and said, "Hey, Coach Cute Glasses. Did you remember your allergy pills?"

"A double dose," he promised. "You ready to marry me?"

"Yes."

Molly held Charlie, and Bob wrapped his strong arm around her waist as they turned toward the sunset. The wedding was short, led by John who married her sister and Bradley last September. And as Molly closed her eyes and kissed Bob at the end of the ceremony, the warmth of the summer evening and the scent of wildflowers washed over her. 

The soft nudge of Bob's glasses against her cheek and the way he helped cradle Charlie had Molly leaning in for another kiss. Maybe it would be just the three of them, maybe not. But Molly wanted to take her family on every adventure with her.

"I love you, Cowboy Bob."

Bob smiled and kissed her softly before pressing his lip to Charlie's forehead. "I love you both."

----------------------------

Ahhhh! Thanks for joining Molly, Bob and CHARLIE on this little adventure! I'm sure they will have so many more together. You can always peep more details about them if you read Batting Practice (and maybe some future one-shots)! Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls and everyone who bugged me to make Molly and Bob a thing.

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[bookskeepers]

third time's the charm ♡ chapter five

content warnings: light, awkward, both of them don't really know how to talk to people, reader makes a tiktok reference, abs, bra mentioned, no nsfw, tsukishima might be ooc sorry lol

word count: 1,646

a/n: i am running out of gifs. also sorry if my writing feels british my internal monologue is the same voice as baldur's gate 3's narrator 💔

also sorry this took so long ? it sat in my drafts for a week holy shit

taglist: @wakashudou

previous ♡ masterlist ♡ next

Tsukishima Kei has three rules he follows when he's hooking up with someone.

1. Keep all communication to Tinder.

2. No dilly dallying.

3. Do not stay the night.

Of course, rule 2 had some exceptions -- occasionally he'd watch a movie to lead up to the act, but no more than that. He views hookups as a business transaction: get the goods and dip. Luckily, both sides (usually) benefit.

♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡

He hadn't intended to stay the night at all after your romp together. He meant to help you back into your underwear, maybe cuddle for a few minutes, and then leave. But with the way your head rests against his chest, and with how comfortable you look, how is he supposed to say no?

Your hair is splayed out around you, strands tickling his skin. He finds himself absentmindedly tracing patterns on your near-bare back with his fingers as he scrolls through his phone with his free hand, willing exhaustion to hit. Your dorm bed, despite being the same as literally every other dorm bed, is somehow comfier than his own. Maybe it's because he's sharing it with you, although he's not sure.

More often than once, he catches himself observing your sleeping form. Your head is on his chest, your torso turned so that your boobs are pressed against his own torso. He can feel the silky material of your bra against him, and he wonders if you're uncomfortable. It looks like the wire's digging into your skin from his vantage point. One leg overlaps his own while the other remains straight on the mattress, and the arm he can see is splayed out on his ribs. He watches as your chest rises and falls slowly, the pattern of your breathing steady in your sleep.

"You fell asleep so quickly," he mumbles out loud, impressed. Part of him thinks you're a little stupid; who would let someone they just met stay the night? And why would you fall asleep so quickly on a stranger?

Another part of him finds it endearing, though. To be instantly trusted by someone in such a vulnerable state... it's not a feeling he's used to.

None of what just happened was what he was used to.

Sex is a fickle thing, he thinks. He has his own experience with it, most of it involving smooth R&B playing in the background, the music intermingling with the sound of skin-on-skin and feminine -- and occasionally masculine -- moans. It's never been without music, and there's never been conversation when the act's actually started.

He enjoyed the conversation, though. Listening to you try to form sentences while he went down on you was erotic in its own way. Maybe it was the teasing nature of it, or the way you'd gasp and fall silent, head thrown back in pleasure, before struggling to gather your thoughts and continue.

He finds that his eyes are drifting shut despite trying to keep them open, that he's playing with something very dangerous. After all, he thinks it wouldn't be too hard to get addicted to this: laying in a twin XL-sized bed that's too small for two people with you using him as a mattress more than you're using the actual mattress. The weight of you on his body is more comfortable than he'd ever admit to anyone, and your mannerisms and personality have already been etched into his brain. You're different.

The thought snaps him out of his reverie and he physically cringes. He doesn't think you're the kind of person who'd enjoy being told, "You're not like other people." In fact, he thinks you'd probably smack him, although he doesn't know you nearly well enough to be confident in this assumption (but he's right. You would smack him, only because you take comfort in knowing there are other people who are as weird as you, if not weirder).

When his eyes open again, sunlight is streaming through the window on the far side of the room. At some point during the night, you must've gotten up to put on a shirt -- his shirt, he realizes with a jolt -- because you're no longer laying against him bare-chested, instead now clad in a loose, black tee. He fumbles around for his phone, discovering it underneath his ass. He taps on the screen a few times, watching as it lights up with a photo of him and his volleyball club from high school. The time reads 10:32am, and you're out like a light. No one ever said sex wasn't tiring, though.

His movements must be disturbing your slumber, because you shift in your sleep. One of your legs ends up fully over him while his free arm ends up trapped between your body and his. You sure know how to make yourself comfortable, he thinks.

Slowly, delicately, he extricates himself from your hold, each move calculated as not to disturb your slumber. After all, he hadn't intended to stay the night -- vague memories of the mild shock on your face after you asked makes him think you hadn't originally intended to ask, either.

He pulls his pants on before remembering that there's a bit of a dilemma. You're wearing the shirt he came with, and he half-heartedly wonders if anyone's out and about on campus on a Saturday mid-morning. It's not that he's embarrassed of how he looks, he would just much rather be able to blend into the crowd with ease. Being shirtless would prevent that, probably.

If he was wearing athletic shorts, on the other hand, he could pretend he was going on a run. Alas, he wore jeans to your dorm. It seems his options were either leave and demand you return his shirt via Tinder, or--

"Where're you going?"

Your sleep-tinged voice cuts through his thought process, and he snaps his head up to look at you. It seems his movements were not calculated enough, since you're now awake. He watches as you blink sleep from your eyes, turning onto your back to stretch your limbs out in all directions with a quiet groan. You sit up in the bed, glancing from him to the shirt you're wearing. "This isn't mine," you say at last.

He lets out a slight chuckle. "No, that's mine. You must've put it on during the night. And I was just heading out, actually."

You let out a gasp, clapping your hands over your heart. "Without even saying goodbye? How cold. How cruel, Tsukishima. I'm heartbroken." Your tone is light, teasing; he can't help but smile in response.

"You were sound asleep. I didn't wanna disturb you." His eyes trail over your body, hidden by a combination of his tee and the blanket that's draped haphazardly over your form.

You raise one eyebrow at him, a devious look in your eyes. "So you were just gonna leave my dorm without a shirt on?"

"Was hoping I could pass as someone going for a morning jog."

"In jeans?"

He falls silent at that, because how could he refute those words? You were just voicing his internal argument, anyways. He lets out a huff and sits on the edge of your bed, taking care to avoid squashing your feet under the blanket. "You have a good point," he finally mutters. He's not sure why he feels embarrassed, but he can feel the tips of his ears heat up as a blush begins to crawl down his features.

"I make those sometimes," you say. He glances at you and catches you looking away from his torso, your cheeks now dusted with the color of shame from being caught in the act. He lets out another chuckle.

"You can look, you know. It's not like I'm actively trying to hide it."

Your response to that is to fish out a pair of sunglasses from your nightside table and put them on before shifting your body to face him. You lean closer to his torso, remarking, "Sunglasses are so great because no one can tell where I'm looking," before straightening up and taking the accessory off. "Sorry. Got struck by divine inspiration for that one."

He just shakes his head, a look of feigned annoyance passing on his features, before he holds his hand out. "Can I have my shirt back now?"

You let out a sigh, rolling your eyes. "I guess." With swift movements, his shirt is off your body and in his hand, exposing your bra -- and upper body -- to the elements. Now it's his turn to stare, and he does so without shame.

"You literally saw all of this last night," you state after a brief period of quiet. That snaps Tsukishima out of his reverie, and he puts his shirt on.

"Yeah? You saw all of this--" he gestures to his now-clothed torso, "--last night too."

"Touché."

The silence returns as he stands and shuffles about the room, seemingly aimless in his wandering. This time, it's tinged with an undercurrent of awkwardness, as if neither of you are sure about what to say next. Finally, he relents: "I'm gonna go now."

"Sounds good!" is your automatic reply, and he watches as you immediately facepalm. "Not good as in, you suck get out, good as in, go live your life, I swear."

"Haha, I got it, no worries."

And with that, he's out the door, the image of you shirtless in your own bed seared into his retinas.

Another round wouldn't hurt, right? is all he's thinking about as he walks back to his own dorm, trying to mathematically calculate how much time should pass before he reaches out to you again. Because you, as a person, seem to have him hooked with your charm and your appeal.

Besides, he's already broken one rule with you -- what's the harm in breaking the other two?

[15-lizards]

thinking really hard ab my clegane daughter ocs again... me nd @sshireens have created such a rich and fucked up life for them...

time to be cringe on main and force y'all to listen to me talk ab them <3 <3

Dagmar (elder daughter from the first wife) vibes tho I don't have a set in stone face claim for her yet these r her general vibes. Obviously she's not as pretty as these models she's kinda unfortunate she takes after her dad. Really deep set eyes and heavy brow bone, square jaw, wide nose, tall and stocky for her age. Kinda like Brienne if she didn't have good vibes.

Anywayssss she's so much like her uncle that Sandor sometimes wonders if he did some sort of asexual reproduction and had her. Really keeps up the tradition of Cleganes being rabid (but loyal) dogs. Super hostile and antisocial, absolutely CANNOT regulate her emotions, borderline personality disorder queen omg. Low tolerance for basically anyone and anything (except her sister) and has really huge emotional outbursts over seemingly small things. Except for when she's around Gregor cause she goes into safety mode and just shuts out all stimuli. Just super tense, constantly on-edge, and really disregulated emotions she has literally never known peace. Her cortisol levels are So High.

Why is she like this u may ask??? excellent question. Answer: nuclear threat to all women Gregor Clegane happens to be her dad. When she was like barely 2 her mother died "mysteriously" so she got to be alone in Clegane Keep with her rapist murder dad, his rapist murder buddies, and some horrified servants and a septa. Yippeeee. Obviously Gregor felt the need to establish dominance over every woman and girl, and this was only increased by her intense personality, so Dagmar is subject to all kinds of abuse as a child. She learns pretty quickly that u can't really fight back against him so she just shuts down anytime he's in her vicinity as to not pose a "threat" to him. It sorta works. Then lets out her emotions on everything else: serving boys, kennel hounds, herself, etc etc. Half of the time she's in a blind rage and the other half she's in a hopeless dissociative state :) Actively suicidal and she's not even fifteen. HOWEVER when she's like six the light of her life and reason to keep living is born...

And cue Iva (younger daughter from the second wife) and if she ever survives to adulthood (unlikely) it is Scripture to me that she looks like a young Carol Kane. Sunken cheeks, pallid skin, wide protruding bug eyes, long nose, dry and frizzy pale hair. Very very sickly because her mom gave birth a month early and then died bc of it. So all she has is her big sister :]

While Dagmar's response to most things is aggression and really reactionary over-emotional outbursts, Iva is the complete opposite. She likes to run and hide in corners every time she senses confrontation or even gets slightly uncomfortable. Very very avoidant and anxious. Gets to live in her own little mind palace most of the time bc Dagmar is there to protect her. However Dagmar protects her a little too hard and now she is overly dependent on her big sis. Pathetically helpless. Selectively mute a good bit of the time bc it all just gets to be overwhelming and she feels safer just not interacting with the outside world. Super passive like an actual human doormat (if she ever let anyone actually talk to her)

And she is the way she is for [see Gregor reasons above]. However since Dagmar was there when she was born, her big sis sees this weak little baby and feels protectiveness for the first time in her life. Iva is HER baby and Dagmar never lets her out of her sight. Not in a cute overprotective sibling way but in a really aggressive "don't do that you stupid idiot I know what's best for you don't ever leave me way" cause that's how she shows her love so Ivas like Ah this is what love must be like. Obviously Dagmar can't protect her from everything so Iva is abused in the same ways, but slightly less often because Gregor sees her as less interesting and less of a challenge because of her passiveness. So Iva's response is to make herself even smaller and ignore all her problems to live inside her own head lalalalalala

And when they're together oh these girls give a new meaning to Codependent. Dagmar sneaking into Iva's room after Gregor leaves it one night and getting so upset to the point of breaking things and grabbing Iva until she bruises her sister even more. But Iva is comforted by it because that rage means Dagmar cares ab her. Dagmar literally beating a stable boy into a vegetable state (or killing him, ur choice) for trying to grab Iva's skirts. Iva is in literal medical shock seeing a (near) dead body on the ground that got put there for HER while Dagmar is smiling with her bloody knuckles bc it felt good to hurt someone protect her sister (She actually feels horrifically guilty about it later but manages to ease the cognitive dissonance by telling herself that she was protecting Iva so it absolves her of everything bc Iva is perfect and fragile and can't be hurt). One time at a feast when the girls are in their pre/mid teens, Gregor makes an offhanded comment about marrying "the prettier one" off soon and Dagmar forgets her dad trauma for a hot second, bc her urge to keep Iva safe is that strong, and literally throws a serving plate at his head. Later when Dagmar is in her room, with three less teeth and five new giant bruises, Iva is cleaning her up and weeping and just wanting to curl up with Dagmar in bed and forget the rest of the world forever. Meanwhile Dagmar is planning out the murder-suicide she will enact if Iva does get married off. She doesn't tell her sister that just yet but Iva would be more than okay with it. Cause how can Dagmar live without her guiding light morality pet only good thing she has and how can Iva live without her only dog her only knight. YAYYYYYY

[bebx]

random don’ts in fanfic writing!

a disclaimer that these are just some suggestions from a fellow fic writer & you don’t have to agree with everything I list here. the intention of this isn’t to shame anyone but to only offer advices I personally take.

I hope you’ll find at least one of these useful.

don’t go “the taller man looks at her with a smile on his face” or “the blonde girl laughs, feeling his eyes on her” on characters whose names are already known by the readers. I admit that this is something I used to do for so long because I thought it was cool, until I learned it’s just unrealistic, because normally, if you know someone; say, if they’re your friend, you don’t call them “the taller man” or “the blonde girl” or “the older man”, you call them by their names. so unless your readers aren’t supposed to know the names of these characters yet, just say “Justin looks at her with a smile on his face” or “Sarah laughs, feeling his eyes on her” — it feels more natural this way.

don’t give readers your personal feelings. “the walls are closing in, and he still has trouble standing up on unsteady legs. panic’s making it hard to breathe as he realizes he’s going to die. what will poor Daniel do now?” — “poor” in this case is the author’s opinion, how they feel about their character. it’s unnecessary to add in your work because, with all due respect, it can make the whole thing sound like a children’s book where readers are not capable of knowing how they’re supposed to feel in this scene and so they need the author to tell them how to feel. unless you’re writing something specifically for kids, don’t do this. don’t insult your readers’ intelligence by constantly guiding them how they should feel about this particular character in this particular situation. your readers are not kids. they are perfectly capable of knowing how they feel. they will feel sorry for the character on their own. they will read your work and think “oh no, poor guy. how will he get out of this now?” on their own. you, as the author, don’t have to tell them to be sorry for the character.

don’t outright underestimate your own work. being humble is a good thing, but sometimes you just have to be proud. don’t directly say “this sucks” or “I don’t really like how this turned out” in the author’s note, it can actually drive readers away from your fic. it drove me away from a fic so many times. and it’s a shame, because I really believe your readers — I really believe I — would’ve loved your fic if they’d — if I had — given it a chance. but the disclaimer that outright says “this isn’t good” from the author themself is unfortunately more than enough a reason as to why readers decide not to read it altogether. so… don’t say that. you can be unsatisfied with your work, but your readers don’t have to know that. hell, they might even love it. so, yeah, be proud.

don’t replace eyes with orbs. I… admit that I frequently did this during my Wattpad phase, and it’s actively haunting my nightmares to this day. I guarantee you that you can just say eyes. “she looks right into his eyes” yes, you can say this, and it will always sound more professional in terms of writing than “she looks right into his beautiful blue orbs” which, if I’m being brutally honest, “orbs” used to describe eyes just makes it all sounds like a school essay where we purposefully use fancy words so that our teachers know we have those words memorized in our vocabulary. but yeah… it’s painfully cringe to call eyes orbs and it almost always makes me want to just stop reading your work, and I mean this with utter respect. don’t make the same mistake I made when I was an emo teenager. if you really must have to use other word that isn’t “eyes” just call them face balls or something (I’m joking, please don’t actually call them face balls). but seriously, literally anything that isn’t orbs. just… call them eyes. it’s already perfect.

don’t replace world with planet, if your work doesn’t include theme about space/sci-fi or if you’re not describing an actual planet (as in climate change towards the planet or a lost planet that’s never been found, for instance). — world and planet give readers two very different feelings. if you’re describing an antagonist, who is not a literal alien from another planet, whose plan is to corrupt or take over the world, just say world. “he knows he will watch the world burn in the end” sounds more aesthetically appealing and more professionally interesting than “he will destroy this beautiful planet” because, honestly, the latter sounds like I’m reading a fic about climate change, which yeah… unless you’re writing a fic about climate change, just avoid using the word planet in context like this and you’re good.

don’t avoid the use of Capital Letters at the beginning of a sentence and when you’re mentioning a specific name while writing a fic. you’re probably thinking I’m being the biggest hypocrite right now, because I’ve literally been deliberately using all lowercase phrases this entire post. I mean that’s because this is just a Tumblr post, not an actual AO3 fic. listen, I know writing fic is a hoppy, not a job. but if you really want to have your readers feel like they’re reading an actual novel while reading your work, I promise you the use of Capital Letters is your best friend, don’t neglect them.

*smut below the cut*

don’t replace cock with penis. I won’t go too deep here (no pun intended HELP💀) but cock sounds sexy, exciting and fun. while penis sounds like you’re describing a human anatomy during a lecture. smut is supposed to make readers feel aroused. it’s not supposed to make them feel like they’re reading a text book or are studying for an exam.

don’t replace cunt with pussy. in my very humble opinion, while talking about smut, cunt sounds explicit, raw, erotically mysterious and is overall a turn on while… I don’t know, reading the word pussy just doesn’t make me go AAAAAAHHHH the way reading the word cunt does (just my guess but maybe it’s because the word “pussy” is overused; we call everything a pussy nowadays that it just lost its meaning). also, from 99% of the smut I’ve read, it’s more professionally written if the author uses cunt instead of pussy.

***also, for the same reason why we don’t replace cock with penis in a smut fic, please don’t use the word vagina unless you’re preparing your readers for their anatomy class.

[hisui-dreamer]

Omg, rinna requests are open ^0^ (and don't worry, you can take as much time as you want) I'd like to request leona with a reader who plays a lot of sports and sucks at all of them 😀 (me. i mean me lmao) Have a great day 💕💕💕💕 AND I SAW YOUR ISEKAI JADE FIC I REFUSE TO SIMP FOR SLIMY EELS. WHY.

the chasing game

Pairing: Leona Kingscholar x gn!reader

Synopsis: Leona's ego is a bit too strong, and oh dear, he thinks you have crush on him

Tags: fluff, misunderstandings (but they're cute), slight pining, leona is a tsundere

Word count: 707

Notes: my best friend and i had a lot of fun with this idea hehe, i hope you'll like it too hehe

Masterlist

Leona thinks you have some ulterior motive at first

why are you trying so hard at spelldrive??? you're not doing that well honestly

he finds no reason whatsoever you'd be so energetic when you're even performing that well

so he starts thinking... maybe you have an ulterior motive??

and somehow, probably because of his big ego he comes to the conclusion that you have a crush on him!!

after all, he is the captain of the spelldrive club

how else would you be able to get his attention?

in his mind, you're just a small little herbivore who's trying to get in his good graces

the smug lion is pretty amused by all this, and he can't say he minds having you around

you being that enthusiastic about playing sports, and the determination to get better no matter how many times you fail, is pretty impressive to him

though he sometimes cringes internally with how bad you're doing

by the time he can't take it, he'll saunter over to you and give you some advice

he'll sound like a jerk doing it, but if you read between the lines, he's giving you good advice

it's probably because he's been studying you for so long

so you listen to his advice, and oh? that shot went pretty well!!

you're jumping around all excited! finally there's some improvement!! maybe there are some sports cells in you after all

you get a bit too excited in thanking him and you throw your arms around him in the heat of the moment

he almost instantly pushes you away, obviously, saying you're sweaty and mumble grumbling

but there's no denying the way his tail is swishing around and the slightest hint of pink on his cheeks it's the sunset he says

from that point on, he'll occasionally join you as you practice, giving you advice and commenting on what you're doing wrong every time he feels like it

it also gives him a pretty good excuse to not actually participate in the sport

then again, he can't say he dislikes playing when you're in the audience

it usually ends up with you gushing over how impressive he was in the game, asking him if you could teach him how to do what he did, and in general just praise all throughout

this all but feeds into his pride, and he has the widest smirk on his face

he gets into an awful mood when you stop showing up for a while though

he becomes even more irritable, and there's more of a murderous aura about him when he's playing against the other guys

it doesn't take long for him to start asking around about where you've gone

epel is more than happy to solve this mystery for him so he'll stop beating people around

though he's pretty amazed by Leona actually putting effort into the games

and excuse me??? you're hanging around in the basketball club now??

little does he know, but you've merely shifted interest from spelldrive to basketball

but in his delusional misunderstood mind, this means you don't have a crush on him anymore

hah. that ended soon enough. he doesn't care at all.

... okay maybe he does actually care a bit

"Oi. Herbivore," Leona calls out to you in the hallway. You turn around and you're faced with his disgruntled expression. "Are ya not comin' to Spelldrive anymore?"

You blink at his question. "Oh! I think so? I got interested in basketball lately haha," you chuckle as you remember the little rivalry Ace started. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Hah. Why'd I mind?" he huffs, but there's something about his voice that makes you feel like he does mind.

"Leona," you close the distance between the two of you. "Would it be okay if I join you for lunch?" His eyes visibly widen at your request.

"I just really like the atmosphere in the garden, but I don't want to interrupt you."

He seems to contemplate it for a moment, emerald eyes shut and eyebrows furrowed. But when he opens his eyes again, there's a certain softness to them.

"Hmph. Do whatever you want." he says, turning around to leave, his tag swishing back and forth once again.

Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

[oh-no-its-bird]

Tora gets hit w the time travel beam *gestures vaguely towards the "team ro time travel to warring states era but make it Tora AU team ro" post*

And gets mistaken for a bastard senju kid and missing brother of Tobirama bc of the resemblance. But also using the same logic I used w Itachi of the "the only people allowed to draw the connection are people who personally knew Tobirama when he was Tora's age (which, if sticking to the original team ro prompt, would be like 12) so only like. The founders + Touka get to make that conclusion

Him 🤝 Tenzo -> getting mistaken for a Senju and getting lots of hugs from Hashirama that make them Feel Things (TM)

People are telling Tora he's probably a bastard kid and he's making deliberate eye contact w that one time he tried to break into the senju compound and was kicked out bc the gates keyed into senju blood specifically. He's pretty sure he's not a senju guys. Trust him. Really.

Mmmm ok but actually taking it seriously, how would Tora affect the team ro dynamics in that specific adventure? In my original post I went really in depth on what each character thinks of their situation + the founders, so would that change at all?

On top of that, since it's a few month before the Uchiha coup, it's also peak Itachi-Tora-Shisui chaos hours as they plot to stop it

I think it's mostly the same, tho maybe Tora's general affect on Itachi means he isn't quite so much in the "Hey what if we just kill Madara. What then." boat

But also I can see the opposite, with maybe Itachi instead getting Tora on the "Hey what if we kill Madara in his sleep" boat

Shisui can sense the "Tora and Itachi are doing something alarming" button being slammed in the room over and investigates

Oh my god worst possible outcome: they get Shisui on board too. I can see it tbh, they were looking for ways to avoid the coup and the possible village retaliation and like hey !!! Opportunity they sure as fuck won't be getting anywhere else!!!

Plus like, play into the "Itachi rarley offers his own opinion bc he trusts Tora and Shisui to be in charge, but when he does offer it he's listened to"

Well he sure did offer his opinion!! And he sure is being listened to!!!

They actually all just feed into eachothers stress and decide that yes. To avoid the Uchiha coup and or possible village retaliation (they dont know the massacre is on the board yet but suspect smthn similarly bad), this is the best choice to make.

It turns into Kakashi having to talk them all down (whether he does so in time or not is debatable)

They get stopped, obviously, (tho actually commiting to killing off Madara like that would be very funny) and Madara assumes it was Tora's idea bc hes a clear leading figure in the trio and the other two are Uchiha. Tora is willing to take the fall for his friend, but Itachi is not

Itachi has a whole breakdown and bursts into awful messy tears for the first time since his father took him out to a battlefield as a child.

It's a whole thing and everyone is horrified (Tora and Shisui especially but even Madara + whoever else was there are cringing awkwardly at the sight of a previously blank faced little kid just. Loosing it.)

Itachi confesses to it being his idea and, at this point we're past the time travel reveal, explains he just needs to make sure Madara doesn't freak the fuck out and inevitable fuck over the entire Uchiha clan w a shitty reputation that haunts him for years to come

Madara is horrified what the fuck

Also INCREDIBLY demoralized ab the village now, what do you MEAN he fucking left it what do you MEAN originally Izuna died (they were keeping them in the dark ab everything future-wise other than just the fact that the village existed but this kind of forced the lid off that pot)

Also note: Kakashi !! Was !! Not !! Aware of this !!! Holy shit kids !!!!!!

They end up having a whole Thing(tm) about how look even if Madara one of the causes of their shit reputation,,, it can't all be traced back to and blamed on one man. That's not how politics work you guys.

(Queue shocked Pikachu faces and disbelief of three teenagers)

Kakashi, having his own special front row seats to the Konoha politics and rumor mill + yondaime's student + experience with facing the worst of it bc of his dad, giving them some sort of speech about scapegoats and politics and the soul crushing realities of systematic oppression and blame

It's a learning experience.

[keirawantstocry]

Prompt ... . ..qtubbo getting super drunk and he does the emotional/affectionate drunk thing and he messages fit trying to apologize for ruining his and pacs date and trying to drive them apart. And he's completely incoherent and fit thinks something must have gone horribly wrong for tubbo to be saying all this

was feeling bad ab how short these were turning out but then i started this one, was possessed and frantically writing and wrote like triple the word count of the last one. godbles

Fit was about to go to sleep when his com buzzed with a new message. He groaned, tossing over in bed to grab it, squinting at the bright light in the dark room. After a few moments of blinking to adjust his eyes to the light, he was able to read the message. 

im so sprry for fucking with u and pacs date man. i want uou guys to be all happy and i like seeing yku happy. which si so fucking cringe. i fucking love u man 

Fit sat straight up, eyes flying open. Tubbo? he messaged back. Is everything okay? 

i jsuts miss you i miss mirnring crew i love ryou 

Fit threw the covers off in a hurry, pulling on the first pair of pants he could find and not wasting time in grabbing a shirt. He whipped out his warpstone and faded into purple sparks. 

“Tubbo?” he called out as soon as Fobo was starting to appear in his vision. 

Instead he was greeted with Foolish looking confused at him. “Hey, Fit. Whatcha doing here?” 

Fir gestured vaguely down. “Tubbo…” 

Foolish's eyebrows shot up. “Okay booty call, I respect it.” 

“No! No, no,” Fit spluttered. “That's not what this is. He was just messaging me and I was concerned, I swear. He was just messaging and-” he cut himself off. “Can you just tell me where Tubbo is?” 

Foolish nodded, pointing his thumb over his shoulder. “Yeah, he's in his bedroom.” 

“Thank you,” Fit said quickly, rushing past him. 

“Be careful with him,” Foolish called as Fit ran out of ear sight. 

“IT'S NOT A BOOTY CALL!” Fit protested again but he was closer now. Standing at Tubbo's door and he was throwing it open and finally there was Tubbo. He was splayed out on his bed, hair a mess with a dark flush high on his cheeks. 

“Fit,” he whined as soon as he spotted him. 

Fit let out a sigh, relaxing ever so slightly. Tubbo was okay, he was alive. “You're drunk,” he said, holding back a laugh. 

Tubbo chuckled. “Whatttt. No the fuck I'm not. I'm not drunk. Also you're hot do you know that?” He groaned as if saying that embarrassed him and turned over to bury his face in the pile of pillows at the top of his bed. 

Gently Fit shut the door before walking over to settle on the corner of the bed. “Do you have any water in here?” 

“I don't need water,” Tubbo said, incredibly muffled. 

“Oh yeah? What do you need then?” Fit teased. His heart was finally beginning to settle into a calm consistent beat. 

Tubbo pushed himself up, propping himself on his elbows to stare at Fit. “I need to be kissed.” 

“Excuse me?” 

Tubbo sighed, pulling himself the whole way up, trying to get as close to Fit as possible. “I need to be kissed. Actually. Fucking scratch that.” He reached out to trail his hand over Fit's shoulder. “I need you to kiss me.” 

“Me?” Fir repeated, embarrassed at the squeak his voice made. 

“Yes, you fucking buffoon!” 

And Tubbo was grabbing his face in both hands. 

“Please,” he begged. 

He smelled of alcohol. But not soaked in it. He was certainly tipsy or he wouldn't be this openly emotional but he was far from wasted. 

“You really want it?” Fit asked, searching his eyes. They looked like the line where the sky and sea met, turbulous and lovely. 

“Yes.”  

“One kiss,” Fit said softly. “Then you promise to drink water for me, yeah?” 

Tubbo nodded earnestly before his eyelids drooped shut and he leaned in. The kiss was meant to be feather light but Tubbo leaned into it hard. He tasted of cheap beer but in that moment it was the most wonderful flavor in the world. Fit felt his head begin to spin, his heart begin to race. He had never felt more alive. 

Tubbo pulled back with a smack of his lips. He looked dazed and Fit was sure he looked quite the same. “Fuck you.” 

“What the hell,” Fit said in a disbelieving laugh. “That was what you wanted wasn't it?”

“Not the right result,” Tubbo huffed, falling back into the pillow pile. 

“What result were you hoping on?” Fit asked curiously.  

“End of it,” Tubbo muttered, shutting his eyes and draping his arm over them. “Thought maybe if I kissed you I'd stop wanting it so bad.” 

“And it hasn't stopped?” Fit asked, hearing the breathlessness in his own voice. 

“Want you more than ever,” Tubbo muttered with a half groan. 

Fit felt as if his head was spinning as the explanation to a million unanswered questions narrowed down into one clear answer. “Me too.” 

Tubbo froze before yanking his arm over his face. “Are you serious?” 

Fit just nodded, not trusting his own voice. 

Tubbo stared at him a long moment before tugging on his arm. “Lay with me. It's too late to be discussing this. Tell me you want me again when I'm sober.” 

Fit laid down with no complaint and although he was sleeping in pants with a tipsy man who stunk of alcohol, he couldn't remember the last time he slept so peacefully. 

[hope-drunk]

- cordyceps | a. anderson

| you use your safe word with abby, and she makes sure to take care of you after.

| content warning: smut at the beginning, reader is nervous to use safe word at first, use of safe word, pet names (sweetheart, baby, sweet girl), mainly fluff, smut under the cut

| wc: 718

It felt like you couldn’t breathe. Your face was planted in a pillow, and if it wasn’t for Abby’s strong arm wrapped around your hips, you’re sure they would be on the bed as well. You’ve been going for about two hours now. Abby had worked you over with her fingers, her tongue, twice, and now she had you on her strap. You were tired, but you didn’t want to disappoint her. You knew she loved to play with you, to see how many times she could get you to cum, and in your fuzzy headspace, it felt like you couldn’t tell her that it had been enough.

“Fuck, you look so pretty like this. You’re all cockdrunk, huh? Yeah, I bet it feels good, doesn’t it, baby?” Abby says, breaking you out of your thoughts.

You mumble something into the pillow.

“What? Speak up, sweetheart.” Abby demands, her voice slightly unsteady due to the speed of her hips jackhammering into yours.

“Cordyceps.” you gasp out.

Abby’s heart stops at the same time her hips do. Since she liked to have her way with you, she knew she needed a way to tell her that it was enough and that you couldn’t take anymore. She had found some books in the library about safe words, and set one up with you the next time she saw you.

“Alright, okay. Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m gonna take it out now, okay?” she says softly.

Even though she warned you, you couldn’t stop the yelp that came out when you felt the fake cock drag out of your walls. Abby lowers your hips to the bed, and leaves to get, what you assume, will be something to clean you up. You lay on the mattress, unmoving. Abby comes back with a damp towel, and when she starts to clean your sensitive pussy, you let out a groan at the pain.

“I’m sorry, baby. I just need t’clean you real quick, okay? Can you be a big girl for a little bit longer?” she coos, brushing your hair off of your sweaty forehead. She doesn’t start cleaning again until you give her a quick nod. She moves as fast as she can without hurting you too much.

Once she’s done, she crawls in your joint bed, pulling your fatigued body on top of her chest. You look up at her, and your eyes quickly fill with tears.

“M’sorry, Abs.”

“Don’t be silly, sweet girl. Nothing to be sorry for.” Abby says, wiping a stray tear off of your cheek.

You stay like that for a while. Your chest to Abby’s, trying to steady your breathing. Abby, rubbing a hand up and down your back. 

“Do you wanna tell me what happened?” she says, not stopping the soothing strokes to your back.

You look up at her again, her gray eyes already looking down at you. 

“Just got too much. Felt like I couldn’t breathe, and it was starting to hurt, I guess. God, I’m sorry.” You cringe at your words, sitting up and bringing your knees to your chest, burying your head into them.

Even though she read about the safewords, Abby wasn’t exactly sure what to do when you actually used one. She rubbed one of your calves, trying to console you while she thought of what to say.

“I’m not mad at you, or anything like that. I’m happy you felt safe enough to tell me, yeah?” she says gently. “Can I see your pretty face, please?”

You remove your face from the safety of your knees, and Abby frowns when she sees your glassy eyes. You give her a small smile, and move back on top of her, taking a few seconds to get comfortable again.

“M’not mad at you either, you didn’t do anything wrong.” you whisper, and you can feel Abby release a long breath.

“Think you can walk?” she asks.

You groan as you try to even fathom using your legs. 

“Why?” you ask, drawing out the ‘y’.

“Cause we both smell, we need to take a shower.” she says, leaning down to kiss the top of your head.

You let out a small giggle, and hear Abby’s laugh ripple through her chest. You don’t make any effort to move, though.

Abby lets out a sigh, “Alright, c’mon. I’ll carry ya.”