#like i NEED. white noise of some kind but i cant sleep with music or tv playing

[bathroomtrapped]

saw ask. so let's say hypothetically (not really) all the apprentices are autistic (they are) headcanon them

saw ask ‼️‼️ i completely agree unironically and i keep that in mind when i consume/write/draw saw content. jigsaw apprentices? more like PDA autistics anonymous jfc

i (shamefully) am not an amanda-guy and dont have pretty much any headcanons about her overall so sorry about that but ill do some bullet points for the apprentices bc ive thought TOO MUCH abt this

adam

1. the most obvious PDA manifestation, though i think its strong in mark and lawrence for sure, adam just doesnt mask his. he pretty much built his life around maximizing free will and full control over his schedule

2. constantly reducing sensory input with music and being baked. his apartment is dead silent and dark 24/7 tho

3. honestly i think adam has shocking high levels of empathy. most people in his life wouldnt peg him as someone who would struggle with that but i think its what sets him apart from nearly every saw character. hes so isolated but desperate to understand and connect with other people, even if hes in the shadows

4. studies high class targets and their mannerisms. it helped him function during a few job interviews

5. hates eating, hates effort so pretty much eats like shit. very few specific, cheap, prepackaged meals that he can handle. anything that isnt a time commitment to prepare and eat

6. talks too much to overcompensate (not sure if people are able to understand what hes getting at and ends up rambling)

lawrence

1. i hc him as a narc as well which (as you can imagine) combined with PDA makes instruction/criticism/responsibility stressful so hes constantly overloaded

2. same as above, combined with asd i think its the biggest reason he has that canonical low empathy (similar to mark)

3. can only eat incredibly plain and simple foods. rice, bread, vegetables without butters/oils etc. very picky

4. very little auditory sensory issues after so many years in a hospital and needs noise in order to function (including sleep)

5. started wearing pajamas under his suits after a few years in residency because hes already tired 24/7, the terrible fabric on top of that just makes him insane

6. struggled through med school because lectures are hard to interpret and hes more of a visual learner

7. so much eye contact

8. remember that dog picture in his wallet we see for like 5 seconds? i cant imagine someone like him enjoying the texture or sporadic energy of a dog and makes it sleep in dianas room at night. its not allowed in the office and he meticulously cleans all of the dog hair the second he sees any

9. absolutely allergic to change in every way

mark

1. low empathy as i mentioned before

2. he wears a lot loose fitting suits in canon which i think are for sensory reasons. he clearly prioritizes comfort with those (interesting) track pants?

3. i have joked with my mutuals about his off-putting, autistic ass stare countless times

4. terrible liar because he has less control over his facial expressions and mannerisms. he ends up making too much eye contact and thinks that brutal honesty is a good idea. he has an almost nonexistent filter

5. he reminds me of that brand of autism that a lot of patriarchs have, the kind that goes unnoticed bc theyre the head of the household. meat and potatoes his entire life, strange rituals and routines everyone has to get used to

6. extremely black and white sense of justice and a poor understanding of hierarchal authority. he doesnt get why people are above or below other people and struggles with those concepts

7. everyone in the precinct knows not to joke with mark because it will always fall flat and have to be explained. mark has rly funny but dry and blunt humor himself

[genshoomf]

answered all on twitter so cross-posting here 💖

1. non-alcoholic i feel like he is unironically a #waterguy but also fucks with sprite/dr pepper. alcoholic i am not very versed in but i think hes a big tequila enjoyer Or a psycho that regularly drinks zombies

2. sweet!!! he has a big sweet tooth, especially for fruit flavors

3. he fucks hard w any kind of authentic soft shell taco situation, probably like tacos al pastor…. its about the pineapple.

4. BREAKFAST 💪 hes always on that breakfast grind, tho he is very much a snacker esp on training days to keep up w the mental strain of his TK

5. i cant see him being a Huge fish guy which is funny being from LA but hes also not picky, overly salty stuff is the most Blegh to him

6. he has a pretty good spice tolerance for a white guy!! but i think if something was too hot but good enough he'd thug it out anyway

7. probably some kind of ocean critter since he loves the water so much. perhaps sea turtles i think he feels a spiritual connection with crush from finding nemo

8. just boxers unless its VERY cold and then he will begrudgingly wear sweats/pj pants also

9. when solo usually side or between side/belly sleeping, and with his bf hes on the big spoon grind 100%

10. morning person!! byproduct of when he was contracted and on a strict training regimen i think but also he just naturally wakes up and gets started quite early

11. fairly easy to wake up, not enough that quiet noises would do it but someone nudging him gets him awake pretty quick

12. ohhh.. depends on what the base schedule is like for the day! but usually either training w nolan & the squad or studying or lounging around with his bf

13. lighter summery scents probably. stuff like coconut or citrus!

14. he doesnt use cologne often just bc well. doesnt have any reason to after he stopped being a celebrity but he is a tom ford azure lime user most of the time

15. showers always 💪

16. abysmal LOL his parents/mom always cooked for him growing up and then he just ate a lot of vought sponsored food and by the time he was an adult and living 'alone' he was contracted and had staff to cook for him. he knows how to make protein shakes

17. SUMMERRRRR its his birthday season AND he just has so many good memories of summer surfing as a kid once the weather is consistently nice out he Needs to be at a beach

18. actually tough bc he didnt have much family to celebrate with growing up so. half-hearted christmas ig?

19. he makes and gives gifts rly frequently! usually little metal trinkets or useful tools with his abilities, almost everyone hes friends with has gotten the 'hey i made this for you :)'

20. hes 6'2"! he likes his height just fine, good for swimming but made surfing more of a challenge when he got tall after his growth spurts but still he persevered

21. none :( i think he's always wanted to learn guitar but just never had the time to actually have hobbies

22. yeas! not trained at all but he sang a lot w his mama growing up so hes just very comfortable with his voice

23. only sometimes, usually when hes deep in the zone while studying he'll kinda mumble to himself without realizing as a way to talk problems out w himself

24. YES!!! hes a HUGE 70s/80s music enjoyer bc it was how he and his mom bonded. she brought him up on artists like fleetwood mac, rhcp, phil collins, tears for fears, abba etc so its what he loves. he loves the soft rock/pop-rock genres a lot w the occasional dip into 90s hiphop

25. decently yeah! hes friendly and very social but hes also a poor judge of character so debatable that he makes friends with people who are good for him. supe socialization and culture makes it harder for him to be vulnerable and friendly with ppl he feels in competition with

26. very surprised and immediately pretty emotional he is, at heart, a sensitive cancer boy so hed be really happy that ppl went to the effort for him!

27. hes actually very familiar with many flowers bc his last ex was a supe with plant manipulation abilities! his fav is probably parrot's beak but he also likes most lilies, crown imperials, blue poppies, bird of paradise etc - bright and interesting flowers

28. very positive LOL as a supe whos primary ability is metal manipulation hes almost always wearing jewelry to have 'material' on him, namely rings and a few necklaces. he also just likes jewelry in general and its something he gifts a lot too, he thinks more men should wear it

29. after his dad left when he was ~10 his mom didnt want to wear her wedding ring anymore so jason took it and has worn it in some form ever since. it was also the first thing he ever manipulated as a kid when his abilities manifested so it means a lot to him to always wear

30. fashion forward but also depends who you ask. he is very influenced by 70s/80s + y2k fashion so he dresses well in that sense but it also does make him stick out a fair bit

31. boxers usually but also has been known to fuck with a boxer briefs situation

32. he does not but he has had tv make up done before for interviews and his movies!

33. also does not but hes probably let girlfriends paint his nails before in the past just for funsies

34. he keeps his hair fairly long by mens standards and even when he does get it cut its just a trim, he likes his hair too much to get rid of it

35. hadnt thought about it but deciding live: yes

36. probably had a girlfriend teach him so he could do her hair before so yes! proficient at braiding

37. not necessarily scared of it but he doesnt enjoy lightning, its something he has to be careful abt while flying since hes always wearing metal + hes naturally weak to it

38. nah LOL even if he isnt indestructible like some supes hes still very durable and hard to take down, he was contracted for a reason and one of them being bc hes tough!

39. he has an enhanced immune system and is completely resistant to 99% of viruses so hes never been sick 🫶

40. totally ok with blood he has killed before

41. he used to be contracted by LA as long beach's supe so he was paid EXTREMELY well as young as 20, and after that he made more on sponsorships, his own movies, branded stuff etc. he still makes passive income off of it even now

42. he's very happy being with konni. he loved being contracted but after realizing how deeply vought was using him he can't see being A Superhero the same anymore. as sweet as he is, being proactive with konni in destabilizing vought is extremely fulfilling to him, he loves it

43. very creative in the sense that hes excellent at creating 3D objects just from imagination! he has a good sense of aesthetics and color etc

44. hes probably alright at sketching loosely but hes not really a fan of 2D mediums. if he draws smth its to get ideas on what to build

45. honestly not much around base besides his phone, anything else he'd need he can either make himself w nearby metal. even when Out he only brings along his wallet too

46. yes!!!! his particular poison is anything orange flavored - suckers, hard candy, gummies etc

47. he aint picky but leaning towards fast foods or street food for sure

48. hes an incredible swimmer! used to do it a lot more when he was younger in tandem w surfing but he stuck with swim more bc it was more accessible. he gets mopey when he hasnt been swimming in a while

49. his healing factor is quick enough that he doesnt scar so hes skin is #flawless

50. his handwriting is pretty neat i think? he takes a lot of notes while studying and writes out info abt his alloys v frequently so its very legible, probably pretty cute! on the loopy side

[rupsmorge]

Panic Attacks and Polar Bear Facts

Requested from here!! I hope this works :) slightly worried about posting it. I have really bad burnout but i had fun writing this!!

Spencer Reid x Fem! reader

Summary: Spencer comes home to find reader on the verge of a panic attack. In hopes of comforting her, he snuggles with her in their shared bed as he spews off random polar bear facts before falling asleep beside her. 

Hurt/Comfort 

CW: Panic attacks, anxiety, depression, mental health, sensory overload, cursing (as usual)

A/n: This is very much self-indulgent. Ive had a shit time with my mental health rn and polar bears are my favorite animals. Also all of these facts are true. i got them from this article! Also ik panic attacks and sesory overload are two separate things, mine often happen together that is why i have mixed them. 

After being away on a case for a week, Spencer was shocked to find the house dead silent. He knew you liked background noise. Weather it was music, a podcast, audio book, or a movies, there was always some kind of noise. He knew you didn’t like being home alone. The anxiety and loneliness it brough made you upset. 

The silence in your shared apartment worried Spencer but not very much. Maybe you had fallen asleep or had earbuds in. It wasn’t until he saw you curled up on the couch in with your weighted blanket that he realized what was going on. You only used the weighted blankie when you were having a panic attack.

Quietly taking off his converse and sitting down his go-bag, spencer walked towards you on the couch. “Hi bubs. Are you okay?” He knew the answer was no but he also knew it was better for you to talk it out. 

His voice brought you to tears. Tears ran down your cheeks as sobs rolled off your tongue in attempt to explain. 

“Hey, shh. Its okay. Im here now.” Spencer said in an attempt to comfort you. While whispering soft praise and loving words, he scooped you up in his lap and held you. 

After a while you finally calmed down enough to talk. “Its all just too much. The lights are too bright, everything is too loud, and i can feel the seams of my pants.” You said while crying and coughing as you tried too catch your breath. “I cant Spence. I...I cant do anything! Its too much-h. I-I need these off and-” 

“Hey, its okay. Lets go get you changed and then i will tell you all the new facts i learn about polar bears. i know they are your favorite and i know you like to listen to my voice when you are overwhelmed... Its okay, love, it is all okay.” Spencer whispered quietly as he kissed you on the forehead. 

Reid picked you up bridal style and carried you to you shared bedroom. With your consent, he helped you change. He traded your mom jeans and baby-tee for one of his over sized hoodies. Once you were done, he tucked you into the queen sized bed. “I’ll be right back with your weighted blanket. Do you want anything else?” Your small head shake was all the response he needed.

 Once he came back with everything you would like, he laid down beside you and pulled you into his side. With your head on his chest and leg tangled together. Spencer wrapped his fingers in his hair and started telling you facts.

“Did you know that polar bears are actually black? Their fur is actually translucent and only appears white due to the reflection of light.” Spencer asked you quietly. You nodded in response and asked him to keep going. 

“Polar bears can swim for over 4 days and less than 2% of their hunts for food are successful. Which means they face more threats than just climate change. Oh! There are also grizzly, polar bear hybrids. And did you know that their DNA can be traced from their paw prints?” 

“I did know all of that but I really appreciate you researching my favorite animal. I love you Spence.” You whispered sleepily, stating your love for him as you drifted off in a peaceful sleep. 

With a chuckle Spencer rubbed gentle circles on your back. “Of course you already knew all of my polar bear facts.” He muttered. “I love you, sweet girl. Rest for as long as you need. Ill be here when you wake up.” 

Spencer knew how exhausting sensory overload was. Not only has he witnessed you have upset before, but he also had a history with it. As he started to drift off to sleep as well, Spencer pulled you impossibly closer to him. He promised to protect you even if it was your own mind overwhelming you. 

[obsessive-ego]

Beetlejuice cant tie a tie

I got a little off topic, but we get to it eventually

Musical beetlejuice x reader

Nsft mentions and bonus

A day off like any other, your phone buzzes to life at 11am, you groan at the sound, but you cant sleep all day, even though you really want to. As you shift to turn off your phone, you feel the familiar dead weight, you huff.

"Beetlejuice"

Ever since you let the ghoul into your home he has made it a habbit to sneak into your bed with you, at first he would leave before you woke, but now? He just makes himself at home, claiming that your bed is so comfy and warm, and way more lovely then the couch, honestly you didnt mind, his pajamas were clean, and he kept his hands relatively to himself, and lets be real even if you protested he'd still do it, just something you got used to over time, and enjoyed, as much as you wouldnt admit it, sleeping with another person did help you sleep at night, but you weren't exactly ready to open that can of worms.

You nudge the demon

"Beetlejuice let go"

The ghoul had you trapped in his arms, wrapped tightly around your waist, as his face was buried in your hair, his legs tangled with yours, the demon was spooning.

You squirm again, this time a tad more aggressive.

"Keep wiggling like that sugar and you'll give me a boner" he groans, more mockingly then anything else.

"Let go so I can turn off my alarm and start my day" you huff

Beetlejuice tightens his grip around your waist.

"No can do sweets"

"Beej please, I need to be an adult today"

"Oh babes, you can EASILY be an adult in bed~ but fine, if you must" be dramatically let's you go fawning hurt, you simply roll your eyes as you take your new freedom and leave the bed to reach your beeping phone on the table across the room.

Following your example, beetlejuice gets up too, and with a simple snap of his fingers his black and white pajamas were replaced with his trademark suit, the ghoul straightens him self out, adjusting the jacket and tie as if he had somewhere important to be.

You couldnt help but feel a tad jealous at that, to be able to get ready for the day in a second, something like that could shave a good amount of time off your mornings before work routine.

You usher the demon out of your room stating you needed to get dressed, though he did plead to stay and help, as always, you only replyed that youd take a rain check.

Reemerging from your room, dressed and ready to enjoy your day off, you head to the kitchen to make some coffee, your morning routine was simple, normally beetlejuice would chit chat with you as you made breakfast for the two of you, but it was strangely quiet, you havent seen the ghoul since you ushered him out of your bedroom, normally this ment he was hiding and getting ready to scare you, a regular occurrence.

Now something as simple as making toast and coffee now had you filled with anxiety, why did he always do this? You know why, he thinks it's funny. Your anxiety was short lived when a little note flutters down from the ceiling in front if your face, instinctively you grab it

'Babes, off scaring, saw you got new neighbors, be back soon~ xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo'

You sigh in relief knowing that bastard wasnt gonna mess with you today, yet you couldnt help but smile at all the xs and os, corny, but that was him wasnt it.

Like any other day off you try to catch up on house hold chores, and with beetlejuice out and about you can actually get stuff done, nothing against the ghoul, hell you loved having him around, it was just hard to be productive with someone so chaotic under foot.

...

Your day off went by pretty productive, you here you were, enjoying the peace and quiet, with a cup of hot tea and a book you've been meaning to read.

"HONEY I'M HOME"

Beetlejuice appears from literally nowhere in the center of the room you were currently residing.

you nearly jump out of your skin at the sudden outburst, no matter how many times the ghoul burst into your home that way, it always startled you.

You regain yourself, and with a small laugh you sigh "welcome home B"

The tips of the demon's hair turn a soft pink, something as soft as 'welcome home' from your lips sent him, how lame, a big bad demon from hell, getting all warm and soft from just a little breathers kindness, yet, he wouldnt want it any other way.

The ghoul is quick to slide next to you on the couch "ya miss me toots?~" he cooed leaning in and making an exaggerated kissing face, you snorted out a laugh and gave him a shove.

"Knock it off B, and yes I missed you, but I was more productive without you, so~" you laugh

"OH Y/N you are so mean, you would rather me be away so you can do boring breather stuff, then have fun with the sexiest dead guy you know? How cruel" the ghoul pretends to be hurt.

You laugh again "Beetlejuice, you're the ONLY dead guy I know-"

"Therefore the sexiest" he countered giving you a wide toothy grin

"You got me there I guess" you laugh and give beetlejuice a shrug.

As the laughter dies down you notice how roughed up your friend really was, more so then usual, more dirty, shirt slightly untucked, new holes in his jacket and pants, his tie undone, loosely hanging around his neck. Yes the ghoul was messy, but it looks like he lost a fight, and hell with his powers he could clean up in a second, maybe he hasnt noticed?

"Beej? What were you up to today?" You ask shyly, you didnt exactly like to butt into what the demon did in his spare time, mostly because if he wanted to share it with you he did it with gusto.

Beetlejuice freezes for a second, the shrugs

"The usual, messing with your neighbors, why?"

You gesture to his messed up clothes

"OH,  yeah, new guy down the hall fought back, you should have seen it babes-"

You sigh, not that you needed too, but you worried about beetlejuice, what if he got into a jam he couldnt get out of.

"What's up sugar?"

You flinch, beetlejuice must have caught in to your expression.

"Do you need a hand straightening up?" You mentally slap yourself at that suggestion, he can magic himself back together why would he need your help?

Glancing back up to the demon's face you swallow hard, plaster across his mug was a love sick dopey grin, his most and beard now sprouted pink patches.

"Please~" he purred, a word you rarely herd from the ghost.

You nod, slowly you start with the tie, grabbing on to the two pieces, you swear you saw the demon flinch, slowly but surely, you tie a simple tie, years of doing it for yourself for forced formal occasions, guess the info stuck.

You gently strengthen the knot, paying more attention to what you were doing, rather then who you were doing it for, if you were paying attention to beetlejuice you would have saw his wide eyes staring so intently on you, both hair and scruff completely pink, a soft smile plastered across his face.

"You know babycakes I would just LOVE to have you yank on my tie more often~" he purred

You flinch at the comment, being brought to reality by that delightful gravely voice of his, you stutter out a soft noise, unsure how to respond in your frazzled embarrassed state.

The demon continues "have ya drag me around, mmmhmmm, have my sweet little breather in charge"

You unable to think of a response, just sit in front of the demon, hands still gripping his tie, staring back at his face.

"I have to say I've thought of it often"

You DID yank the ghoul by the tie alot, to make a point and or get him to your level, him being taller then you.

"My little y/n riding me, using my tie as a leash, you being fully naked, while I'd be full clothed, sounds like fun maybe we should- urk"

That was a step too far for you, as hot as the idea way, it was till too much and too embarrassing, with a quick movement of your hand you tighten the ties knot around the ghoul's throat, as if to strangle him, not that he needed to breath, it did shut him up though.

"Harder baby" he croaked

At least you thought itd shut him up.

You let go of the tie and get off the couch, taking a step back.

Beetlejuice laughs, his soft pink hue shifting back to his default green.

"Oh sugar we done already? Not only are you kinky, you're also quick to finish" he snorts out a loud laugh.

"Cant we have one nice moment?"

"No"

You sigh, little frustrated with the ghoul's ability to ruin just about any moment, as if the ghoul sensed your mood, he was quick to jump to his feet and pull you into a side hug, you huff, still being a tad annoyed with him.

"Alright sugar, ya twisted my arm, not more dirty stuff tonight, I appreciate your help with the tie, how bout I return the favor?"

You quirk a brow, return the favour without saying something dirty? You didnt think the demon COULD do such a thing.

"Heres what I'm thinking doll, me, you, and the new neighbor down the hall, I'm gonna show you how I got messed up to start with, and play your cards right babes and I'll let ya tie me up again~" the ghoul winks at that last line, regardless of the innuendo you smile.

"Alright BJ I'm game"

The ghouls gives you a wide toothy grin

"Its showtime".

Nsft bonus

Later that night when you were dead asleep beetlejuice couldnt help but dream of you sitting on him wearing nothing but a coy smile as you rode him, he being fully dressed with his cock freed from it prison and being buried in your warmth.

You bounced up and down, yanking his tie, half for balance half cuz of the sound he made.

With a delightful dream like that, the ghoul did not last very long,

[illfoandillfie]

5 Simple Rules for a Successful Relationship: Blurb

This wasn’t requested by anyone but the idea has been kicking around my head basically since I wrote the Ben POV chapter

Warnings for fluff and smut but it’s all very soft

5 Simple Rules Series Masterlist

Blurb Advent Day 1

Taglist since it’s part of a series: @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @taron-egrotten @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies 

@coni-martina @hardforbenhardy @cubedtriangle @vicouscirce @arianabrashierstuff @pattieboydwannabe @maggieroseevans @theprettyandthereckless @friccinfricks 

Ben had it all planned out. He’d known how he was going to ask for a while, before he’d even picked out the ring. But, so far, he hadn’t been able to put his plan into action. As much as he wanted to ask it never quite felt like the right time. There was always something going on, somewhere to be – work or dinner with friends or general errands to sort out. But he knew how he wanted it to happen. He’d cook dinner, your favourite meal of course, followed by dessert made from scratch, really bring out the big guns. Afterwards he’d put on some music, a playlist of love songs he’d been adding to for months now, maybe ask you to dance. It was a little corny but sometimes corny was okay. Later on he’d pop into the kitchen and pull out your two mugs and place the ring in the bottom of yours before returning to the couch to sit with you. And then, at the usual time, he’d say he could really go with a hot drink before bed. He knew you’d volunteer to make them since he’d made dinner so he’d wait for you to leave the room before following. He’d listen for the gasp of surprise when you checked the mugs and saw the ring. That would be his cue to step into the room and get down on one knee and ask you to marry him. He had the speech ready to go too, knew what he wanted to say. How fast he’d fallen for you, how glad he was you were with him, how much he loved you.

Thinking about actually popping the question made Ben nervous. But the good kind of nervous. Of course the topic of weddings and marriage had come up before, abstractly. It was nearly unavoidable when his mum would not-so-subtly check for an engagement ring every time you visited, and then even less so when Gwilym got engaged and invited you both to the party. So he’d asked you about it, whether you had ever considered the whole settling down thing – marriage, kids, white picket fence, the lot. He was pleased to find out you liked the idea, had even imagined what the future might be like with him. The only thing you didn’t want was a public proposal which Ben fully supported. After all the attention you’d received as a result of the relationship, all the magazine articles and snapped photos while you were just trying to buy milk and bread, it felt wrong to voluntarily make such a private situation public. Ben was sure you’d be asked about it in future interviews and on social media and he wouldn’t mind sharing the story then, after he was sure you’d say yes. He had no reason to believe you wouldn’t but there was always that slight uncertainty, that intrusive doubt that made him wonder if you’d just tell him to bugger off instead. He found comfort in the plan though. Knowing exactly what he would do was reassuring. But even the best laid plans weren’t guaranteed.

Ben’s actual proposal caught him off guard as much as it did you. It was early on a Saturday, sometime between two and three. Usually you’d both be fast asleep but instead you were stumbling into the house, lit only by the grey light of the morning. You hadn’t meant to stay at the afterparty for so long but people kept handing you drinks and drawing you into conversations and music was still pumping through the speakers and before you knew it five more minutes had become a couple of extra hours. Ben emptied his pockets onto the hall stand as he watched you lean against the front door and kick off your shoes. He couldn’t resist catching you in a quick kiss before he wrapped his arm around you with a soft, “C’mon cuddle bunny,” and lead you towards the bathroom. Both of you set about brushing teeth and washing faces and changing into pyjamas. He chuckled as he watched you extract an almost obscene amount of bobby pins from your hair before you retied it to sleep in. But, even after everything was done and you’d both climbed under the covers, sleep didn’t come. Ben, eyes closed in an attempt to trick sleep into taking him, felt you move under his arm and peeked through his lashes to find you facing him.

“You okay?” His voice was hushed though there was no real need and when you responded yours was too.“Yeah just not really tired,” “Me neither,” “Do you wanna…?” “Now?” “Well just lying here waiting to drop off is a bit boring but I also don’t really feel like getting up,” “Alright then, why not.” “If you fall asleep half way through I won’t hold it against you,” “Shut up and take your pants off,” Ben laughed, already wriggling out of his. “You just didn’t sound very enthusiastic,” “I am always enthusiastic about this,” Ben forgot everything else he might have said as you pulled him into a kiss.

The sex itself was okay. Nothing special really. You’d had better sex plenty of other times, though you’d also had worse. The best way to describe it was fine. It wasn’t mind blowing but it was comfortable and reliable and fine. Ben felt a little clumsy as he kissed you back, his hand roaming over your side and down to your arse. He supposed the dark of the room and the drinks you’d both put down over the course of the night were having an impact, but, by the way you giggled against his lips, it seemed you found it cute more than anything else. To compensate for his inelegant fingers, Ben moved slowly, enjoying kissing you as much as he could. He hummed when you slid your hand down between your bodies and found his dick, stroking it unhurriedly. There wasn’t a need to go faster, no built up passion to release. The sex was a way to kill some time. Even when you hooked your leg over his and he sank into you, nothing really changed. But Ben knew what you liked and did his best to hit those spots as he wrapped his arms around you and kissed you again. He decided he must be doing something right based off the small keening noises you made. All the same he didn’t expect your next outburst, said softly right against his lips.

“God Ben, I want you inside me forever,” It slipped out before he could second guess himself, “Then marry me,” “What?” Ben paused his movement, not totally sure he’d actually said it until he drew back enough to look at you and saw the stunned expression you wore. His heart pounded as he realised this was it, this was the moment, “Might be easier to do that if we’re married is all. So, will you? Will you marry me?” It took a few moments for the question to sink in but once it had you nodded in agreement. You felt the same. “Yes?” “Yes.” “Yeah? You’ll marry me?” “Yes, yes, I’ll marry you,” Ben broke out into a grin and swept you into another kiss though he cut it off abruptly, “Wait, hold on,” somewhat ungracefully Ben pulled out of you and rolled out of the bed, switching on a lamp and heading over to his chest of draws. He dug around in one for a moment before he pulled out a small box which he brought back to the bed. Kneeling in front of you, he popped the box open to show you the ring before taking it and sliding it onto your finger.

You couldn’t help but stare, holding you hand out in front of you to see how it looked. It was beautiful, not too over the top but not exactly understated either, and it fit perfectly. When you raised you eyes back to Ben’s face you noticed his eyes glistening. “I love it Ben, I love you,” “I love you too Y/N,” he whispered back, kissing you again and laying you back down.

As Ben sank back into you, you placed your hand on his chest, picking up his body heat except where the cool metal of the ring lay. You could feel his heart beating under your palm as he rolled his hips against you, trying to finish what you’d started. It took a little while longer, though things moved less slowly than they had before the interruption of the proposal. Ben dropped his fingers to your clit as he felt you getting closer, drawing gentle circles until the warm wave rolled through you, pulling a soft sigh from your lips. He kept his fingers there as if to try to give you another orgasm, maybe one not quite so soft, but you pulled his hand away, linking his fingers with yours as you kissed his throat and encouraged him to finish too. It didn’t matter that your orgasm hadn’t been particularly powerful. All that mattered was that Ben was with you and he always would be.

Afterwards you curled up, leaning your head on Ben’s chest, his arm around you. He sighed contentedly and kissed the top of your head. “So much for sleeping,” he chuckled. “What we did was better than sleep,” “Definitely. And if we hold out for a little longer we could watch the sunrise,” “I don’t know if I’ll last that long,” “No, me neither. It’d be nice though,” You agreed and lapsed into a comfortable silence. And then a thought struck you, “You know, we’re going to need a cover story,” “What?” “People are going to want to hear the story of how you proposed. Felicity, Joe, Gwil, the rest of our friends, our families, not to mention paparazzi and the press, they’ll all ask.”  “Fuck.” “So you don’t want to look your mother in the eye and explain it happened mid shag either? Good to know we’re on the same page,” Ben laughed, “Funnily enough, that was very unplanned. I had something much more romantic and better prepared in mind when I thought about how I’d do it. A whole big speech about you being the love of my life and how I want to spend every day of my life making you feel happy and safe and loved,” “Go on then, what was it,” Ben explained his original idea, about the dinner and the mugs, all the while playing with your fingers as if he didn’t want to break contact.  “That does sound wonderful, but I have to admit, I really love how it actually happened,” “Me too,” he laughed, “But that’s good. Because now we have a story to tell everyone and a slightly more accurate story just for ourselves.”

[violasmirabiles]

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you want to know better.

i got tagged by @ruskatuska which i somehow forgot to mention first jesus christ why am i like this

1. Name/Nicknames: ali

2. Gender: who tf knows

3. Star Sign: aries

4. Height: 160cm

5. Time: gonna be 1pm in a bit

6. Birthday: march 26 so yall still have time to get me presents 

7. Favourite Band: pink floyd and wigwam are my go to bands to put here but really there are So Many

8. Favourite Solo Artist: also So Many but bowie and kate bush are safe choices

9. Song Stuck in My Head: rufus wainwright - cigarettes and chocolate milk

10. Last Movie: it chapter two

11. Last Show: uhh. god i dont know. 

12. When I Created This Blog: late 2011. like late november, early december. i know it was before i saw paul mccartney in helsinki and that was on dec 12 2011

13. What I Post: whatever fandom shit im into at any given time, bands/artists/music i like, whatever pretty and or interesting and or funny catches my eye. just posted a selfie, i do some of those. some text posts. i do use this blog to vent and i do have a shit brain so yeah

14. Last Thing I Googled: the model of my vacuum cleaner so i could find the right kind of filters i need for it lol

15. Other Blogs: @ihmekukkavesi for my photography, @shineondoc for university hell with some stephen king peppered in there. but it like. its relevant

16. Do I get asks?: sometimes. not super often. but like, i dont reblog those ask memes very often and the one good update this piece of shit website ever did is the chat system so thats good

17. Why I Chose My URL: i mean i wanted something related to my name (it is, trust me), coulda been another species but this one can also be a sneaky reference to a character from a thing im into so . yeah lol. also aesthetic. i mean it looks cool. pretty.

18. Following: a lot of people, many of whom arent active anymore but i keep following them anyway because what if they come back one day

19. Followers: a little under 2300

20. Average Hours of Sleep: eight-ish so thats good

21. Lucky Number: dont really have one of those but if a number is even OR divisible by 5 its a good number. i like 12 more than 10

22. Instruments: i have a 20-year-old shitty electric piano my dad gave me when he needed room for a newer, better electric piano. only in my current place i dont really have enough room for it even though i need it to practice choir stuff independently and just like having it because sometimes i just like to fuck around with it yknow? not calling myself good cos im not im super out of practice cos ive never been diligent abt that sorta thing but i can accompany myself and thats enough. so i keep it under my bed, not the best place, and practice on the fucking floor. cant even use pedals that way and that sucks ass. one day i will move to a bigger apartment and set it up again. i also have a baby blue ukulele with a picture of jack nicholson as jack torrance doing his heres johnny face taped on it. i got it in 2019 from my brother and his girlfriend as a christmas gift and was doing my ba thesis at the time, which i think a lot of the people who follow me know was about the shining. also also i can play guitar and bass but am not excellent at either because i never practice either of those and have neither in my apartment. and i never practice the ukulele either so even though i know a few chords i fucking suck. maybe someday.

23. What I Am Wearing: black leggings. black shirt. one black sock and one white one

24. Dream Job: i want to be able to write in some capacity and get paid for it but thats all i know and if i think too hard on it ill work myself up and wont be able to sleep so im gonna leave it at that  

25. Dream Trip: right now i just want to be able to visit my True Home Town which is not this piece of this place where i live and study and also happened to be born in

26. Favourite Food: yeah. not olives

27. Nationality: finnish

28. Favourite Song: feel like this woulda been more appropriate with the other music/art questions but hey whatever. also how the fuck am i supposed to have a favorite song when so many different gems exist. go listen to the musical box by genesis though it fucks me up every time i dont care what it does to you

29. Last Book I Read: still working on white noise by don delillo im fuckin slow i didnt use to be this slow

30. Top 3 fictional universes I would love to live in: the one where i can fucking FUNCTION, the one where i can Fucking Function and am also some sort of professional™ writer™ , and uhh. yeah idk

im gonna tag @panwriter, @appelssiini, @stokoetopia, @slip-sliding-away and @kukkahattumursu but no pressure or anything no ones gotta do this if they dont feel like it

[scarfcoded]

Komahina for the ship meme

*rubs hands together*  Ah yes, my area of expertise

Also I imagine most of this to be post-canon 

who’s the cuddler: Komaeda of course. Sure, at first he’d be a little hesitant due to not being used to physical contact, but once hes certain that Hajime is alright with him getting close to him, he’d happily be holding onto him. 

As for Hajime, hes more of an unconscious cuddler. As in, whenever they sleep together, he unknowingly holds Komaeda much closer and tighter than he usually does when awake. One day Komaeda figures this out when Hajime falls asleep on his shoulder and practically wraps himself around his arm. Hes a bit flustard at first but upon getting more used to it, finds it to be rather sweet.

who makes the bed: They tend to switch but its mostly Komaeda, mainly due to his tidiness and love of cleaning. (Making the bed is more or less cleaning to him)

If its a good day for him, he’ll occasionally make the bed a bit fancier, adding a few more pillows, blankets, or other items of comfort! 

who wakes up first: Work day/Week day? Hajime. Weekend? Komaeda. Granted he doesn't get up. He just stays with Hajime cause it makes him happy. He enjoys how calming it is to see Hajime next to him, for him, its a feeling of safety.

Same with Hajime, he likes staying in bed with Komaeda a bit before getting up.He’s just grateful that this is what his future has become, that he gets to spend it with Komaeda, and he enjoys taking a second to take it all in when he wakes up.

who has the weird taste in music: Again, it really is both. Komaeda’s music taste in general is wild and all over the place. He can go from classical, to peaceful, to bop/pop, to any other thing with an exception of metal music (it hurts his ears)

As for Hajime-

He

He listens to white noise most of the time rather than actual music.

 He likes mixing and combing other types of noise such as pink noise as well. It helps him throughout the day to concentrate and have an odd sense of peace. He honestly treats it like its music too. Sometimes he shares his “songs” with Komaeda. Komaeda doesn't mind them, it does feels a little weird in his ears if he listens too long though.

Other than that I figure Hajime would like music without lyrics or voices in them, so mostly instrumentals.

who is more protective: Oh god, for sure Hajime. There are some times he can come off as a bit possessive, he tries not too though. Komaeda doesn't mind it though, its actually nice that he has someone who cares about him and feels so strongly about him. 

who sings in the shower: Komaeda sings occasionally, (I’d like to think he sings his canon character songs) meanwhile Hajime sometimes hums slightly. Its a way he stimulates his brain slightly and it cant even help him wake up a bit if its in the morning, oddly enough.

who cries during movies: Komaeda ofc, Hajime doesn't usually get overly emotional over movies. He doesn't understand why is it that Komaeda does, not really anyways, to him its fake crap that provides some entertainment but not much else. Although he doesn't understand, he does support Komaeda and allows him to cry on his shoulder whenever they watch a movie that makes Komaeda cry.

Komaeda will cry over all kinds of movies for different reasons, whether its sad or happy crying, stuff in between, he can and will do it. Not every movie per say, just the occasional cry.

who spends the most while out shopping: Hajime focuses on mainly buying essentials with the occasionally gift to himself or Komaeda. Meanwhile Komaeda has no problem buying any and all things that either 1. Hajime looks at and seems to have the slightest interest in, 2. He himself thinks spark some kind of hope

who kisses more roughly: Hajimeeee for sure. I really dont have much else to say here other than Komaeda loves it as much as he loves sweet soft kisses.

who is more dominate: Again, Hajime for sure. I dont think I even need to explain this one- I do feel like he’d ask Komaeda to be dominant a few times. Mainly cause 1. He had noted that once Komaeda has gotten more into the role, he becomes more confident. Confident Komaeda is something that Hajime ADORES. 

I’m not even talking about in the bedroom, the same applies for more domestic things. Hajime, being the more dominate one, likes to be the one to do whatever actives you associate with sfw displays of dominance. Buuut he doesnt mind having Komaeda do it either. Seriously, he finds it adorable and having Komaeda act more dominate just makes him want to smooch him.

and 2. cause I like submissive Hajime (nsfw or sfw, either is fine) and why not

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 100,000,000 ofc 

[ff-imagines]

General headcanons: salty tofu

I saw a man so beautiful I started crying?

• baby boy.... baby boy....

• salty having a crush on you is... gonna make things difficult for both of you

• he’d rather walk a mile barefoot over legos that are actively on fire than admit he has feelings for anyone

• so as a result he’s... very defensive and quick to end your conversations

• he’s essentially the third grader who’s mean to you cause they have a crush on you lol

• honestly it doesn’t take much to break down that wall though

• even the most basic kindness has him looking at you differently

• but he’s still gonna be high and mighty about it lol

• “don’t you have other duties? Or is this you submitting to being my toy?”

• “I don’t need your attention. Go find someone else to dote on.”

• proceeds to get sad cause you’re not paying attention to him

• you’re gonna have to make the first move, baby boy is a lil bit oblivious when it comes to romance

• and general social interaction

• the second you do, his walls come completely down and he’s a big ol’ cuddly softie

• he also drops the whole toy thing pretty quickly when he sees you’re not happy with it

• “Oh? Do you want to be my toy forever? ... Eh? Why is your expression so unsightly? ... Darn it, okay I was wrong, I won't call you a toy again... So... smile.”

• gets frustrated super easily over small stuff

• most of the time it has to do with people making him feel uncomfortable, or hurt

• he likes to pretend words don’t hurt him, but they really do.

• sometimes if he’s hurt enough, he’ll tear up

• he’s got a sorta hiccup-y cry, his throat locks up making it hard to talk, and he hugs himself tightly. Sometimes he’ll wipe at his face to get rid of the tears.

• if you tease him or poke fun at him for crying he’ll loose his shit

• he can dish out teasing, but he cant really take it in return, especially when he’s vulnerable like that

• but he’d also never tease you for crying either, he mostly just starts feeling angry at whatever made you cry

• “salty you can’t fight a tv screen” “W A T C H M E“

• the best way to cheer him up when’s he’s sad/grumpy?

• be needy

• he likes that you rely on him, even for small things like a hug

• another quick way to get him in a good mood?

• spa day!

• face masks, bath bombs, cucumbers on your eyes, diy manicures, he loves it all!

• his favorite bath bomb is black with just enough glitter that it’s not excessive, and it smells like apricots

• he can’t really relax unless he has some kind of white noise, so you both take turns picking a music playlist

• on days where you just can’t come to an agreement on what to play or who’s turn it is, you both just settle on the 24 hour lo-fi stream.

• likes the water skin boilingly hot, so good luck lmao

• sometimes sits across from you in the tub and just chills, but mostly prefers to have you back against him as to two lean back and enjoy the smells and feeling of the water.

• likes manicures, but can’t paint his nails well himself without making a mess on his fingers

• his hands are just a little shaky as a default, so hes gonna appreciate any help he can get

• won’t admit it tho so you’ve gotta being it up

• “hey maybe we should do each other’s nails!” And run before he does yours

• he also loves getting his hair played with

• there have been times where he’s actually fallen alseep while you messed with his hair because of how relaxed it made him

• he doesn’t like messing with makeup as much

• don’t get me wrong, on himself he wings eyeliner so sharp it can stab someone

• but on someone else? His hands are twitchy as ever and he’s too worried about stabbing you in the eye

• he just sticks to styling your hair

• he’s not absolutely phenomenal with hair, but it doesn’t look bad either, and he tries his best.

• as time goes on he’ll get better with it, and his styles will slowly get more and more impressive.

• chews on his tongue piercing somtimes when idleing

• also he talks a lot, that causes the metal to knock against his teeth somtimes

• because of that his teeth are a little sensitive, so he doesn’t like ice cream or any cold food that much cause like.... ouch

• prefers marzipan and punishingly dark chocolate

• plays his guitar often, would love if you did too!

• if you don’t know how to play very well, for your sake and his, don’t ask for lessons from him.

• he won’t be mean to you, just light teasing

• but his patience level is -18393024 so uhm

• he’s not a very good teacher :(

• he’ll try!

• he can help you with a few chords, but frankly?

• he’s not only been doing this for a long ass time, he’s also just naturally gifted when it comes to music and pitch recognition

• so if you take a while to get it he’s just gonna be “????? Why confusion this easy ?????”

• he tries his best but eventually just sighs and pulls out his phone to play a YouTube tutorial lol

• if you’ve not already got piercings, he’d love to see you with some!

• if you asked about getting them he’d at first tease a little about you wanting to be like him

• then he’d tell you basic care etc cause he’s not a healer, he can’t really help you if you get infected

• he gets really upset to see you in pain so he kinda dotes on you a lot, getting a piercing does nothing but encourage him to make sure you’re doing ok.

• honestly he’s cool with whatever you wanna do, don’t want piercings? “That’s fine, now listen to three days grace with me I’m bored”

• honestly is very laid back when it comes to hanging out with you alone.

• he trusts you with everything he has, why have worries when you’re right here?

• he likes to talk, but he enjoys just sitting in comfortable silence with some kinda white noise just as much.

• literally anything you want to do, he’ll go with you

• not without complaints, but he’ll go

• you don’t even really have to warn him either

• “ I wanna go hiking up an active volcano” “aight lemme grab some snacks and some bug spray”

• normally doesn’t really have a ‘schedule’, just kinda goes wherever. He lives day by day, making time for his basic needs.

• on rare days he’ll drag you around town looking for something to do

• but for the most part he looks to you for plans and schedules because he legit can’t be assed what you two do as long as he’s doing it with you.

• he kinda has this weird thing with math

• that being that he’s freakishly good at it

• it’s just another thing that he just gets

• he also knows that he’s good at it and he’s pretty proud of that

• will be beaming if you ask for help with any kind of math

• will also be proud if you ask him for help with really anything

• gives the classic “ what, can’t handle it yourself?” line and then immediately gets whatever you need done

• very much likes to hug you

• very very much likes to hug you

• his fav is wrapping his arms around you from behind, and if you’re short enough, placing his head on the top of yours. If you’re a bit on the taller side, he settles for your shoulder.

• but there is one thing he likes more than hugs

• cuddling!!!!

• “tonight, I want to hold you as you fall asleep~”

• and he definitely means that.

• he sleeps on his side, only on his back if he’s tired enough to pass out immediately, never on his stomach as it makes him feel weirdly queasy.

• he loves when you’re on your side facing him, and he’s got you in an arm prison.

• tuck your head under his chin and he’ll actually melt into a puddle

• he’s always very warm but he has this weird tick where no matter how hot a room is, he thinks it’s cold

• “cold...” “salty it’s 94 degrees” “c o l d . . . ”

• cuddling with him is pretty pleasant as long as you don’t get hot to easy, cause he piles on the blankets and curls into you like you’re a fire on a -27 degree night.

• honestly when it comes to you, sweet tofu is obsession, salty tofu is possession.

• don’t get me wrong, he’s not keeping you on lockdown

• but he gets jealous very easy lol

• of course more reasonably, he’s not gonna be crying while holding up your phone going “WhO tHe FuCk iS mOm??”

• it’s more that if you’re in public and someone’s gaze lingers just a little to long

• he’s got an arm around you pulling you closer to his side and he’s glaring

• he might be your living teddy bear, but he knows how to make himself look very menacing

• he doesn’t like random strangers talking to you, mainly because he doesn’t know them and therefore does not trust that they don’t have bad intentions

• “He was asking for directions to the chip isle salty” “didn’t like the look in his eye” “he was 15” “and”

• he finds the stories you bring home of being hit on or asked out off putting, but he mostly laughs, saying “did they really think they had a chance with what’s mine?”

• he feels safer knowing that not only will you turn down others flirting, but you’ll openly laugh with him at that person for even trying.

• it’s an ego boost, but it also makes him proud of you for being able to stand your ground.

• but... if someone ever makes advancements toward you on front of him?

• oh no.

• The fool. The buffoon. They have no idea the absolute hell they’ve just unleashed upon themselves.

• he has no qualms defending you with actual violence

• if the time ever comes where he turns his back for a few minutes and comes back to see you looking uncomfortable while some person is trying a little too obviously to flirt with you?

• beat someone’s ass mode: engaged

• he’d come up beside the person and just grab onto their forearm with one hand, the other hand is at his side in such a firm fist that his palms are turning white

• he’s squeezing them punishingly tight as he leans close to their face and asks what the fuck they think they are doing

• safe to say the creep is no longer bothering you.

• poor baby kinda stands for a bit and just pulls you tight into his side, shaking his head and muttering about how shameless some people are

• call him your knight while he’s muttering, it’ll catch him off guard and you’ll get a rare blush from him

• just take him home and cuddle the teddy bear. His poor heart can’t take the thought of some gross stranger taking you away from him.

• the only reason for his jealously is because of his insecurities.

• “what if one day I’m not enough?”

• those thoughts happen less and less as he spends more and more time with you.

• you’ve only proven that you’ll stick with him till the bitter end.

• with your love, and his rock playlist at full blast, can’t really ask for anything else.

[the-foxes-fangs]

I Wish I Was the Moon (Ikesen Mitsuhide)

A Mitsuhide songfic

Rating: SFW

Pairing: Mitsuhide/MC

Warnings: Some violence, angst

Listen to the inspiration here 

Chimney falls and lovers blaze Thought that I was young Now I’ve freezing hands and bloodless veins As numb as I’ve become

He did his best to make it look magical. Or at least, like all of the best tricks he made it look far more effortless than it was, coming and going from Azuchi like autumn snow falling and thawing.

He knelt and held the end of a grimy cord between his teeth as he finished off a knot around a cache of supplies that needed to be hoisted up off the floor of one of his many well hidden way points. He spat it out and felt the particles of dirt on the back of his teeth. He had his own vassals, one or two of whom he even trusted, that he could send to do these petty chores, but he preferred to keep his high cards up his sleeves. 

A rusty brown dot on the hem of his sleeve caught his eye and he sighed, loud to his own ears in the pre-dawn quiet of the forest. He preferred to imagine his mind as a library, each shelf separate from the next, information collected and ordered, meticulously curated for maximal affinity and usefulness, and he hadn’t given a damn where anything on those shelves came from or how. 

Until he thought of the look in her eyes if she saw it, if she caught the scent of his work on him, of the fear and blood and burned flesh and men who hadn’t yet realized that they were dead. 

His hands ached from the damp cold and the cord slid just enough to leave a burn across his palm before he caught it. He finished and stood, stretched and felt the lassitude of too many days with too little sleep. 

He leaned against the frame of the door to look at the setting moon just above the tops of the trees as it faded into the sky like sheer silk sliding over skin, and the susurrus of the mountain woods seemed to carry the same sound, like the fall of hair as it tumbled down a naked back. He curled his cold fingers around the burn on his palm and blamed his wandering mind on exhaustion. 

It was better to imagine her in the arms of someone who could claim the violence wasn’t in cold blood. He forced himself to think of her that way, burning with desire in the arms of someone with much warmer hands. 

He rubbed at the spot on his sleeve, and pushed aside his tiredness and the pins and needles of something waking up that was meant to stay numb, something thawing that was meant to stay chilled through, something dangerous. 

Last night I dreamt I had forgotten my name ‘Cause I had sold my soul but awoke just the same I’m so lonely I wish I was the moon tonight

“Mitsuhide.” 

He didn’t miss a beat as he grinned at Hideyoshi, pretended that he had been provoking him instead of watching a sliver of the moon through the window of the banquet hall. The syllables of his own name barely registered sometimes, it was one of so many and it felt no more like home than any of the others he wore. 

“Yes, mother.” He answered, and curled his lip up just enough to add a sting to the insult. 

“Oh if only, then I could at least give you a slap upside the head for being mouthy,” Hideyoshi muttered, adding “I asked where you went this time.” He had a flush creeping up his throat from the drink, and his fist was clenched tightly on his knee, broad shoulders still perfectly straight no matter how deeply he got into his cups. 

“As a matter of fact, I had a rather interesting meeting with-” Mitsuhide cut himself off deliberately and made a show of looking at her as she came in carrying a fresh bottle, laughing at something Masamune was saying. Her hair gleamed in the lamplight as she came toward them. 

“Dear girl,” he said and motioned to her, looking through her now, looking at the curve of the moon through the window over her shoulder, “Hideyoshi was just wondering when you were going to be back, I practically had to shoot him to keep him from sending a search party to the cellar.” 

He stood smoothly as she sat, and ignored the flicker of frustration in her eyes as he nudged her closer to an even more flushed Hideyoshi and sidled away, mouthing polite excuses as he went. 

He stopped in the dappled shadows on the path between the castle and his manor, and tried to feel the satisfaction of a successful scheme, but the sound of distant music seemed to make the air around him hard in its silence, and the golden glow of lamplight through the windows made the moonlight cold and clear, sharp where it fell across his face. 

God blessed me, I’m a free man With no place free to go I’m paralyzed and collared-tight No pills for what I fear.

He hadn’t been him in a week when he saw them walking together from the shadows of a tea-house door. They were a good a match, he told himself, bright and generous and absurdly kind-hearted. 

The afternoon light was honey golden as they walked, and he ignored the feeling that ran from his chest to his gut at the sight of Hideyoshi ruffling her hair affectionately. He chose not to give it a name, not to give it a life. Lying came so easily when you practiced lying to yourself. 

The prospect of facing mountains of paperwork at home exhausted him, the quiet alley and the faded blue sky exhausted him, the feel of his rifle on his hip seemed heavier than it had before as he watched them turn out of view. He stood like that until he felt the chill of a lengthening shadow from the awning and began to walk in the opposite direction by force of will. 

He pulled his scarf away from his throat as if that would loosen the tightness in his throat, and was grateful that he hadn’t chosen to wear a mask of sincerity which he knew would be much harder to feign than detached amusement when they should next meet. 

She came with some documents the next evening, and he told himself it was only natural to check on the progress of his objective as he made them tea.

“Our little seamstress seems to be laying siege to the castle of devotion around Hideyoshi” he said as he searched her eyes for confirmation behind what he assumed would be flustered denials. 

“A seamstress, a mouse, now a siege engine?” She shot back with an amused snort, and darted her eyes away from his. 

“One has to be flexible in these trying times. Is your blockade a success?” 

“I’m no strategist, you know that better than anyone.” She answered and he hid how his breathe caught at the look of frustration and longing in her eyes when she spoke. 

She studied him and he studied her in a beat of silence that felt like a chasm. 

He had memorized her face, her expressions, the curve of her brow, the cant of her shoulders and the sweep of her throat. That look was just one more, he told himself as he hoped that the noise of him sipping tea would cover the cavalry din of his heartbeat. 

How will you know if you’ve found me at last ‘Cause I’ll be the one, be the one, be the one With my heart in my lap I’m so tired I wish I was the moon tonight

The full moon had vanished into the snowy night, as his horse stumbled and slipped down the path toward Azuchi. But the snowfall was suffused with enough light to keep riding. It was too cold to stop and he could nearly see the white wisps of heat rising from where blood soaked through his hastily bandaged shoulder and arm. 

It had been too hasty of a retreat to assess the full damage done by some bastard’s shortsword, but it didn’t feel too deep. The cold slowed the bleeding well enough for the moment, and he fought the sluggish feeling that began to set in as he squinted toward the faint glow of the castle town. 

He held the reins slack in his injured hand and gripped the pommel of his saddle with whatever strength wasn’t holding him up. 

He drifted up above his body, as if the snow was a counterweight that pulled him higher and higher as it swirled gently around him, so high he could finally no longer see himself, or the horse, or the castle, so high that the lake looked as small as a silver coin and finally as dot of dew. 

It was clean and sharp and cold up here, and he struggled to remember what it was that he was so worried about doing down below as he carried on drifting upward, swallowed by a clear brightness until he felt his back slam hard into what he could only assume was the moon, since the ground was nowhere to be seen. He found himself laughing at the thought that he had floated all the way to the moon. He’d have to tell her that it was very cold and white and that you couldn’t feel your body at all up there. She was the only person who would believe him, in spite of his constant lies, he knew she would believe him just this one time.  

He could feel his pulse in one hand, though. It was hot and painful as it throbbed where something pulled insistently. 

He struggled to lift his frost covered lashes and focus on her as she wrenched his hand in both of hers. They were warm, even hot and he gave her a lopsided grin. 

“Of course you’d manage to be warm up here.” 

She said something but it was muffled. Her cheeks were red with cold but the rest of her face seemed unusually pale. He squeezed his eyes shut against the sudden intrusion of bright yellow and heard another muffled voice, and then another, until he stopped trying to work out who was speaking. He felt a searing pain and gasped at the sudden sense of falling back down, nauseating and too fast, before he was swallowed by the dark. 

The noise of footsteps in the hallway roused him. He was bleary eyed, but the edge of the blanket told him that he’d been carried to his own bed. He didn’t try to move, but he heard the rustle of blankets and felt a sudden absence as someone moved away from him. 

“You’re awake.” She said, and he felt the tickle of her breath close to the back of his neck. 

“Am I?” he asked hoarsely. 

“You were so cold, we- I was worried, so-” she swallowed the rest of her thought nervously and he was suddenly keenly aware of her hand clutching the back of his robe, of her legs tucked into his, of the warmth of her body and the burn and ache of his wounds. 

“So you crawled into bed with me? How bold.” He croaked out, and waited for her to move away. 

She settled closer to him, gentle and careful. “Not the way I’d imagined it, but yes, I finally managed to crawl into bed with you.” She answered, smoothly. 

He couldn’t think of a thing to say to that. He was so tired and she was so close and so warm. 

“No smart remark? I’m going to have to mark the date I made you shut up.” She said, and her voice grew soft as she added “I’m glad you made it back, Mitsuhide.”

“I am too.” Too close to saying too much. 

She seemed on the verge of speech for a moment, but he felt the soft brush of a kiss on the back of his neck instead. 

He promised himself that he would untangle it all when his head wasn’t swimming with fatigue and she wasn’t so near. He allowed himself to believe his own lies as she found his uninjured hand and twined their fingers together.

[reesewestonarchive]

chapter eight / rem belongs to @forlornraven / masterpost / mature content

“…where would you go?”

Rem’s voice is a stark difference from the mixtape playing through frankensteined speakers from Rem’s Walkman. Nakoa opens his eyes, peers at Rem’s face—calm, pleased. “Hm?”

Rem dozes on his side of the bed, a hand out between them in an aborted attempt at touching Nakoa’s stomach. His words are slurred, though, and there’s a tired, distant look in his eye when he lifts his gaze to Nakoa.

Not a second later, his eyes are closed again. “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?”

Loaded question. Nakoa thinks there are plenty of places he’d like to see, plenty of places he could live, but would any of it matter if Rem weren’t with him? “Dunno. Hawaii. Or… European countryside, maybe.” Or Russia, if it weren’t so fucking cold. That’s the thing about the midwest that Nakoa doesn’t miss—the fucking winters. “Some place warm, probably.”

“Bahamas,” Rem says. “You’re miserable when you’re cold.”

“I have bad circulation,” Nakoa says, staring at the ceiling. “Can’t help it.”

Rem lifts his hand, pinches the skin at Nakoa’s hips gently, and says, “‘Cause you’re so fucking skinny. I bruise you when we fuck.”

“You’re one to talk.” Nakoa draws his fingers across thumb-shaped bruises along his own hips. A gentle stir of desire blooms in his stomach—maybe he can give Rem a matching set later. “What about you?”

“What about me?” He burrows closer, presses his head against Nakoa’s neck. He sighs.

“Where would you go, if you could go anywhere?”

“What’s wrong with right here?” Rem drops an arm around Nakoa’s waist. “Mm. Maybe…” He sighs; his breath tickles Nakoa’s chest. He mumbles a response, but Nakoa doesn’t hear it, doesn’t ask for him to repeat it.

Instead, he hums along to Rem’s mixtape. Rem didn’t say it, and Nakoa’s not sure if it’s on purpose, but Nakoa’s since sussed out that the songs are love songs.

For a guy that can’t verbalize the word, Rem’s really fucking good at saying it.

There are plenty of unanswered questions—if anyone’s chasing them, if it’s Michael or Rem’s bad decisions. If it’s… something else. Some asshole on their tail for being as open. Nakoa knows the attitude, knows whatever this is between them makes other people angry, disgusted.

He also doesn’t give a shit. Anyone’d be hard pressed to find someone Rem wouldn’t fight.

In the room, with Rem wrapped around him, basking in the glow of sex, Nakoa forgets about all that. Forgets that there’s a world outside the motel, a world outside of Rem and himself and the bed they’re lying on, in the dark with The Cure playing softly in the background.

Nakoa tests the words on his lips again; soft, against Rem’s hair. I love you. He mouths along with the lyrics for a verse, then hums. Rem curls closer, a pleased noise escaping his throat.

A whisper when Nakoa says, “I love you,” his voice barely louder than the music. Rem says nothing, his breathing even in sleep.

Nakoa lets him rest.

-

In the cold, misty morning, they pack up from the hotel overlooking the ocean, and Rem uses the last of his own money on a pack of cigarettes. Nakoa steals one from Rem’s lips, ignores his squawk of disagreement, and says, “Where to?”

Rem sighs, stares down at the map. “Fuck if I know.”

Nakoa remembers his mother—tries not to; the thought of her still at home leaves his chest tight—and how she would always say that the journey means as much as the destination. They don’t have the money to go much farther, and soon, the midwest is going to be covered in snow. Soon enough, anyway.

Nakoa thinks of the Grand Canyon, of Yellowstone, of Niagara Falls. Of ghost towns and abandoned houses, amusement parks and mountains and the Atlantic Coast. He thinks he’d follow Rem to hell—if he asked.

“Might as well hit all the stops,” Rem says. “Right?”

Nakoa watches his brow crease in thought. He doesn’t want to, but he says, “Pretty soon we won’t have money for food. Eating out’s fucking expensive.”

A glint sparkles in Rem’s eyes as he pulls the cigarette from his lips, smoke exhaling with each word, “That’s not true. I eat you out all the time.”

“Mm. Think you’re pretty fucking clever, don’t you?”

Rem shrugs, tugs Nakoa against him by his belt loops. “Sometimes. Hey—about the money thing.” He raises an eyebrow, grin wide across his lips, and says, “We could rob a bank.”

Yeah, right. Nakoa has a difficult time imagining that. “Or scare small children.” He shoves his knuckles against Rem’s ribs. “Give me your lunch money, punk.”

Thoughtfully, Rem asks, “Ever thought about porn?”

Nakoa doesn’t say the only person he wants to fuck is Rem. Instead, he says, “With your jealous streak, yeah fucking right.”

Rem scowls, but there’s a layer of mischief underneath. “I don’t get jealous.”

“Yeah?” Nakoa licks his lips, then says, “All right, cool. I’ll go get dicked down by some big fucker with a selfish attitude to match yours.” He makes a show of peering around the parking lot. “What kind of job do you think I can get around here? Or is that something I need to go to Portland for?”

Rem makes a noise in his throat, tugs Nakoa back against him, grips Nakoa’s wrists in his own. “Fuck no. You’re—” He sighs. “Fine. You win.”

“Oh, yeah? What’d I win?”

“I’d offer myself up as prize, if I was worth anything.” He squints, plucks Nakoa’s sunglasses from atop Nakoa’s head, and puts them on. Nakoa almost days, “Don’t sell yourself short,” but Rem continues with, “Blowjob?”

“Tsk,” Nakoa says. “Like I don’t get those from you on the regular anyway.” He smiles, lopsided and pleased. “What else you got for me?”

But Rem’s attention has shifted, from Nakoa to something across the street. His skin is white, fear-lined, and there’s a  Nakoa frowns, tries to turn back to see it, but Rem’s grip is tight and he won’t let Nakoa move.

“Could—” Rem clears his throat, looks back at Nakoa and smiles. “—let’s get on the road, hey?”

He still doesn’t let Nakoa turn back to see what he was looking at, holds Nakoa’s hands together.

“What aren’t you telling me?” Nakoa asks. He shakes out of Rem’s grip, turns, and— “Oh, fuck—”

He can’t get to the van quick enough. Rem, somehow, is already inside when Nakoa finally shuts the door behind him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know!” Rem jams the key into the ignition, turns it—the van stalls. “Fuck!”

His heart beats, hard, fast, in his chest. “Rem,” Nakoa says, still staring at the old, beat-up Bronco sitting across the street, at the guy sitting outside of it.

Michael.

“How’d he find us?” Rem mutters. “I didn’t think—”

The van roars to life—for a split second before stalling again. Nakoa’s heart climbs his throat, and he feels like he’s going to throw up.

But the van’s not starting, and Michael’s moving forward, now, towards the car. Nakoa moves through the van, out through the back. “I’ll find you,” Nakoa says, “later, okay? Just—I’ll find you. When we lose him—”

And he goes. Out the back door, and he books it, as soon as he hits the asphalt. Rem yells his name, but Nakoa goes anyway, down the parking lot and through the alley towards the boardwalk, where maybe, fucking maybe, he can get away.

He hopes, stupidly, that Michael doesn’t go after Rem instead, that he follows Nakoa. Rem’s already in too deep into Nakoa’s bullshit, and—

Someone stands at the end of the alleyway, blocking his escape, so he turns back around, stumbles over his own feet into one of the buildings. Breath catches in his chest, terror holding him tight as he stares ahead, at Rem, held in his father’s grip.

“You leave a messy trail, Nakoa.” Michael’s voice is quiet, calm, and Nakoa hears footsteps behind him, encroaching on his space, unsurprised when he feels the cold metal of a gun press against his neck. “Nice to see you again.”

“Let him—” Nakoa says, but the gun presses against his neck, harder, cuts him off, and he swallows. Waits.

“Rude to interrupt your father.” Michael, after a beat, does release Rem—only to send him reeling against the brick with a fist to his stomach. “Tell me, Nakoa. Did you think I would let you leave?”

Nakoa says nothing, eyes trained on Rem. Michael sighs, and, as Rem is bent over, coughing, knees him in the stomach. This time, Rem goes down. “Answer me.”

Yes; Nakoa figured, it’s been long enough since he heard about the secrets, since he’s been involved in any of Michael’s work; he should have been safe. He should have been fucking safe. And if it weren’t for Michael knowing someone fucking everywhere, a network of I-know-a-guy, Nakoa would have been.

He should have convinced Rem to fly out of the country. Maybe remote Russia isn’t so bad.

“No,” he lies, because Michael shouldn’t want to waste resources, not time or money, on Nakoa. He steps forward, ignoring Rem behind him, coughing.

Michael’s taller than he is, though not by much; Nakoa slouches. Rem still towers over him.

Rem could take him, if he was smart about it.

“I thought I was clear,” Michael says. “You are to stay with me. This is what we do, Nakoa. I can’t have my only son disappear, after all, can I? Even if he is a miserable excuse for one.”

Rem stumbles to his feet, croaks out a, “Hey, asshole—” before Michael turns, gun still in hand, and Nakoa can’t turn away fast enough, waiting for the sound of a gunshot that doesn’t come.

Instead, Michael winds up and slams the butt of the pistol into Rem’s head, turning back before Rem has even hit the ground. Blood surfaces from A gas on Rem’s forehead immediately, runs down his face, and… 

Nakoa watches Rem, tunnel visioned. Is he okay. Is he okay there’s a lot of blood already and his chest is rising and falling but is it too much? Not enough—

“Can someone take that one back to the car,” Michael asks, “handcuff him and put him in the trunk?”

It’s not a request. But Nakoa still says, “He needs help. You—”

“Shut up.”

“He could be—”

“Easier if he is,” Michael says. “I’d rather not have to cut off his attempts at a Disney rescue. You are mine, you know. No other man you throw yourself will change that fact.” Michael pulls Nakoa’s chin up, forces him to look Michael in the eye. “It’s best for you at home. You keep poor company.”

Nakoa keeps poor company. That’s almost laughable. “Pot calling the kettle,” Nakoa says. “I promise I won’t say shit, okay? For fuck’s sake, Rem doesn’t even know.”

He wonders maybe if Michael knows that, or if he doesn’t care. If his sole concern is of Nakoa giving out pieces of Michael’s secrets, or if it’s…

Nakoa swallows. Waits. 

Michael stares at him, expression blank, before he says, “You know, Nakoa. You haven’t proven yourself very trustworthy. You ran away from home. What am I meant to think?” He steps forward. “No. I think it’s best for you to stay with me.” He glances back towards Rem, still unconscious on the ground. “Your… friend, too.”

If Michael knows, he doesn’t day anything. Instead, he snaps his fingers, and the gun at Nakoa’s throat disappears. He tries to leave, get away, grab for Rem and shake him awake, but his before he can, his wrists are bound by zip ties.

Michael retreats down the alleyway, lighting a cigarette, and Nakoa opens his mouth—unsure what he’s going to say—but doesn’t get to call after him. Instead, there’s a burst of pain at the back of his skull, and the world goes dark.

[arttrampbelle]

Things about me in case you wanna know.

I'm a simple person

Be nice to others,be respectful,and dont be a dick to me and those i love.

I love art and to draw. Dont touch my art unless asked. No i wont draw you for free unless your close fam and or friends. Or my fiancé.

I love my fiancé very much. Like he means the world to me. And my family and friends.

Im a kind person. Generous, humble,and sweet. I will do anything for those i care for. Just dont piss me off or try to hurt me or my loved ones. You will see hell.

I dont need gifts or fancy stuff. I mean i accept them sure. But i dont need them. Im happy with a peanut butter sandwich,crayons and a piece of paper or a box. Some music. And let me loose man. Simple.

I have anxiety and i worry a lot. It may take me a bit to say hi to you. I prefer others starting a conversation. I'm friendly but I take aa while to open up completely. Even with alcohol,food,and good people.

I dont really care for parties or things like that. I like going out i just hate the bullshit people do sometimes. Ya know? I dont mind going as long as someone i knpw comes with or buddy i aint goin nowhere. Lol

i hate confrontations. I mean i wont hesitate to knock someone out if i need to. But i prefer not to. Im a peaceful person for the most part.

I love to cook. But i sometimes dont feel like cooking so its not all the time. But i do love to cook and bake. But i don't like doing it unless there are a decent amount of people to feed. I always make too much or not quite enough. Ugh. Lol

Im a huge venom nerd. And marvel fan.

Im a geek in general.

Im bisexual.

My zodiac sun sign is leo

I like dipping French fries in my frosty. Dont ask why. Its just fucking good. Its an ohio thing guys you won't know unless you have been here.

I am from ohio. We have construction and corn. Lol. No but really guys. Ohio isn't bad. There is great stuff here you just gotta look for it.

If you do come. Go to W.G. Grinders. They have some of the best grinder sandwiches. Fuck lord. I haven't had one in years. But they was my shit back in the day. Hellz yeah. White pizza? To die for! Philly? Amazing!

I come from humble beginnings. I grew up poor. Not like badly. We had enough. But we couldn't eat out a lot. And when we did. It was like amazing.

I still sleep with a light on and with stuffed animals and a fan. I cant sleep without a fan or some noise like that. And i sleep with a ton of blankets. Cuz i get cold easy.

Im 5'6" I'm above average technically.. but i still feel short.

I'm a natrual brunette but i want red hair again.

My fave meal is my grandma's meatloaf and scalloped potatoes. And her dark chocolate cake with butterscotch frosting. God. So good. And her Christmas cookies.

I love bathbombs

I cosplay but not often. And i do it for fun.

I almost got into a fight once as a kid.

I threw a rock at a bully once. A big one too. Mostly cuz he was throwing rocks at me and i got fed up with his shit.

My fave cuss word is fuck.

My fave videogames is gta vice city,mortal kombat 2,3,and shaolin monks,i hope the new one is good.

My fave color is purple

My fave candy is milkyway midnight.

And leather is my fave type of clothes

[hallo-spaceb0y]

Getting to know me tag!

Thank you @chans-baby-girl for tagging me, this looks fun :)

1. When is your birthday?

May 11th

2. What is your favourite colour?

Pink, brown and grey

3. What is your lucky number?

13

4. How tall are you?

166cm, so 5'5?

5. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

I'm a sucker for shoes, I'd say about ten?

6. Favourite song(s)?

MOONSHOT by N.Flying, Cassette by DEMIAN, Jogging by LUCY, In My Room by SHINee, LMLY by Jackson Wang, RED by The Rose, Moon by BTS, Would You Mind by PRETTYMUCH, RED BLACK by Kazuo

(I'll try remember to add my spotify to my linktree there are too many)

7. Favourite movie?

Howl's Moving Castle all the way that hits different every time and I have the fattest crush on Howl

8. What would be your ideal partner?

I actually was thinking about this a couple nights ago.

So, LOOKS wise, I tend to like short boys who look like a gust of winf would blow them away, or girls who could crush my head between their thighs without breaking a sweat. Androgynous people are just always hot, I am yet to meet a not hot androgynous person. But that may just be gender envy who knows.

PERSONALITY wise, i find it really attractive when the person is incredibly book-smart. Like intelligent and nerdy. All my previous crushes have been on massive nerds who would go off about their interests. I love it. Also its just kinda how when they just, /know/, so many things. I cant explain it, but it makes me blush and gives me butterflies. Also please hold my hand, and make eyecontact with me. Because those two things will make me fall in love with you. gnfgn I wrote so much omg

9. Do you want children?

NO

10. Have you gotten in trouble with the law?

Uh...I mean I've never gotten CAUGHT. So no. I have not.

11. What colour socks are you wearing?

I'm actually wearing obnoxiously yellow Hufflepuff socks a friend got me a couple years back

12. Bath or shower?

It depends. If I need to give a concert, shower. But if I need to wallow in self pity, bath.

13. Favourite kinds of music?

Rap but specifically London rap, Kpop, songs you would run through a flower field to, songs you would throw it back to, songs that make me feel hot, I also really like classical music BBC's Classic FM is one of my most listened to stations.

14. How many pillows do you sleep with?

I currently have nine on my bed, three big plushes, and several smaller plushies. I need a body pillow.

15. What position do you sleep in?

I am the big spoon to my massive RJ plushie. So on my side like I'm holding someone. Except I'm not its an RJ plushie ;')

16. What don't you like while sleeping?

Light and silence

17. What do you usually eat for breakfast?

I usually don't eat breakfast, but if I do then some spicy rice thing.

18. Have you ever tried archery?

no

19. What are your favourite fruits?

Kiwifruit and mandarins. Frozen blueberries. ALL MANGO. Dried strawberries.

20. Favourite swear word?

Idk when I'm put on the spot I usually swear like "Oh bloody hell" or "shitting hell" or "twat", but in conversation 'fucking' is a pretty good adjective.

21. Do you have any scars?

Too many. Some couldn't have been prevented, but some ought to have been.

22. Are you a good liar?

A frighteningly good liar.

23. What is your personality type?

ISTP-A

24. What is your favourite type of girl?

A girl who takes up her space.

25. Left or right handed?

Cross-dominance. So, I write with my right, but thats only because I was told to. Everything else I have no preference.

26. Favourite food?

Tteokbokki or gnocci.

27. Are you clean or messy?

Very clean.

28. Favourite foreign food?

Thai. 100%. That shit BUSSIN

29. How llong does it take you to get ready?

On a normal day when I have classes then about half a hour, but if I'm going out then an hour and a half.

30. Most used phrase?

"Darling" (I call people pet names, but 'darling' has become a 'thing'

"Mais je ne veux pas" (Usually to my mother)

"Can you please not"

"Oh how exciting" (sometimes sarcastic, sometimes genuine)

31. Are you a good singer?

I can sing both parts to Tightrope from The Greatest Showman really well. My vocal range is closest to Sia's I think, with the super deep and very high. SO yes.

32. Do I sing to myself?

All the time

33. Biggest fear?

That I'll regret it

34. Do you like long or short hair?

I currently have a what I like to call 'Kpop Mullet'. So short.

35. Are you into gossip?

Yes and no, I always know everything, but I never pass it on. I just know and keep my mouth shut.

36. Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert

37. Favourote school subject?

Science, French, Chinese, Fashion

38. What makes you nervous?

Noise

39. Who was your first real crush?

This guy when I was 12. We were in the same class, and we liked eachother, We 'got together' on a school trip to China, and held hands on the Huangpu River cruise in Shanghai, and we actually went out for eight months. It dosnt seem very long now, but it felt like a passionate whirlwind of romance to my tiny 12-year-old-self. We went on movie and shopping dates. We did good morning and goodnight texts. We said 'I love you' and really ment it. He was my comfort person and I still feel bittersweet thinking about him. I'd like to have that support now.

40. How many piercings do you have?

Two, my lobes. I only have so little because I have no time for healing because I swim so much. I usually wear clip-ons or cuffs. I want to get my tongue done.

41. How fast can you run?

I don't run

42. What makes you angry?

The first thing that comes to mind is the patriarchy and all the horror it encourages, and my second thought is when you can hear electricity.

43. Do you like your own name?

My parents sat me down and told me it would be fine of I change it. Unprompted. Make what you want of that.

44. What are your weaknesses? I'm almost always over or under stimulated.

45. What are your strengths?

I am suuuper confident with who I am and how I act, and that makes day-to-day life really easy. It may sometimes be faked, but we're all here to put on a show.

46. What colour is your beadspread?

Light blue with flowers.

47. What colour is your room?

We have white walls, but I have cob=vered them in my art and pictures. Like its a massive collage, my ceiling too.

Thank you Dayzee this was so much fun! I hope you learnt about me ;)

[dthjoey]

My King

My Ignoct White Day gift for @chalabrun @ignoctgiftexchange

Ages: Noctis: 20 Ignis: 22

Word Count:  2595

Warnings: Slight BDSM, sexual situation, kneeling, comfort

I had a lot of fun while doing this. I hope you all enjoy this!

It's the fall of Insomnia that brings Noctis to Ignis that first night.

After there little adventure with Cor, they all bunker down in Galdin Quay. Prompto and Gladio take it upon themselves to search the little area for any supplies they may need. Ignis sits in the single arm chair by the window, his trusty notebook open as he reviews and scribbles notes inside.

Every so often the strategist pauses and glances at the prowling Prince. Noctis hasn't been able to sit. He’s wound to tight. Taking deep breaths as he goes, Noctis pauses as he gets close to Ignis before huffing and turning back to move down the room again.

Shutting his notebook and setting it aside, Ignis simply pushes his glasses up higher on his nose and waits. Crossing his legs, he sits back and rests his chin on his hand as he waits. Outside the lights of the Quay are slowly coming on, lighting up a small part of the ocean, as Ignis glances out over the water and waits.

They have only done this once before and for once the strategist is not sure if it will work. Before they’d left for this little journey, Noctis had been nervous. His normal “dont give a care” attitude had crumbled before the strategist. Standing in Noct’s apartment, Ignis had watched and listened to the future King babble on about life, worries, fears and even regret. It was a weakness Ignis could admire in his friend.

At that time Ignis had simply sat on the couch and watched as Noctis sank to his knees and rested his head on Ignis’s knee. The Prince took a deep breath as he breathed in the sandalwood and leather of Ignis. The incident lasted all of two hours. The only other connection the two shared was a gentle gloved hand resting on Noctis’s head.

But that had been then.

Noctis turned to walk toward Ignis again and then stopped. Pale blue eyes, the color of a clear sky, met with pale green. His body stiffened before finally settling in and moving to Ignis’s side. He stood. Inside a wirl of emotions bombarded his mind and he felt close to tears.

“Iggy…”

With a sad smile the older man tapped his leg and gestures for the Prince to take his place. With a shaky breath, Noctis drops to his knees by Ignis and finally lets the tears fall.

Ignis watches as Noct’s shoulders hunched forward and his hands came up to rub at his eyes. The sobs broke the advisor, as Noctis tips forward till his forehead barely rested on Ignis’s thigh.

 “I cant...he’s..” While the younger cries on, the older begins to take off one of his gloves. Once slender fingers are free, he runs them through the mess of dark hair. Noctis pushes himself closer to Ignis trying to soak up what warmth he can. It hadn't been till he’d keeled down, had he realized how cold he felt. How much the world had literally crashed on to his shoulders. In this world, in this life, it was now his. He was now King to a fallen kingdom.

“Take all that you need my King,” Ignis’s voice is kind as he continues to caress his King. The tears seep into his pant leg and he does as he’s always done, he waits. Once the tears have dried up and the shudders have subsided. Ignis smiles as he watches, Noctis rubs at his face and sits up a bit straighter. He pulls away from Ignis and waits. Eyes cast down and hands held limply on his lap.

A soft knock comes and Ignis watches as Noctis stiffens. Standing up Ignis moves to the door and opens it only slightly. Promoto stands by the door glancing around trying to see around the taller one.

“Where’s Noct?” He seems a bit unsure as Ignis pushes him back abit and gives a gentle smile.

“Working on putting him to bed. He’s under the weather. Get some sleep tonight, we will leave bright and early in the morning.” Ignis looks around the other room and spots Gladio sitting on one of the extra beds. They simply share a stare and Gladio gives a slight nod of understanding.

“Good Night you two.” Ignis steps back and closes the door, after securing the lock he turns and leans against the door. Noctis has moved, he’s staring out the window, eyes lost as he tracks the waves outside. After a few minutes, Noct looks over at Ignis and waits.

“Can...we..?” The question falls away as he turns fully to look at his advisor. It's in that moment that Ignis fully sees the man before him. They’d grown up together, he’s seen this man go from high extremes to this, this low moment is something Ignis will hold dear for years.

“I believe that would be the best course of action. But I believe we should proceed a bit further.” Ignis smiles as Noctis seems to slowly take the words in. Like a splash of cold water, Nocts eyes widen and like a candle being lit zeros in on Ignis’s smile. Gulping a bit, Noctis steps away from the window and slowly makes his way to Ignis.

Onces he’s standing before Ignis, his eyes stay glued to the floor. His hands fidget before him before he finally sets them to balled fists at his sides.Taking off his last remaining glove, Ignis uses his bare had to tip the king's face up.

“A single word and this all stops,” His thumb caresses Noct’s cheek lovingly and all the later can do is nod his head and lean into the touch.

“Give me the word and you can stay quiet from then on,” Taking a deep breath Noct seems to not hear the words as he nuzzles more into the hand. Everything is slowly slipping away, he can feel the world zeroing in on only the hand before him. This man before him is the world he wants, the only thing he wants right now. A small whine leaves his parted lips as the hand slowly begins to pull away. Fingers grip his chin roughly and clouded blue eyes open.

“So quickly...a word my King, I need just one word and you can float away.” Ignis keeps rough fingers in place and slowly the haze in Noct’s eyes begins to lift. Pulling back away from the touch, Noct shakes his head slightly before settling clearer eyes on Ignis.

“Glaive.”

Taking a deep breath Ignis takes a step closer to his King and caresses his cheek once again. The tension on Nocts face begins to ease away and Ignis smiles. Pulling his charge closer, he leans in and kisses the King on his forehead and then his cheek.

“Do all that I ask my King, and I promise, by the gods, that I will do all that I can for you,” Noctis shudders under the care and words, as he leans into the touches of affection. He craves this, craves the companionship of home, of something or someone who is from home.

“Now, to the bed, just sit. I’ll need to get you comfortable.” Noctis whines again, the thought of being away from the warmth, from home, does not sit well with him. A deep chuckle brings his eyes open again. The stern look on Ignis’s face has him moving slowly to the bed he’d been in not more then a few hours ago.

Just as he moves to sit, Ignis stops him. Slender fingers work open his belt and slide his shorts down. Black boxer briefs do nothing to hide the slight bulge, since he’d kneeled down earlier he’d been slowly growing hard at the thought of giving up his control. But now as Ignis, methodically and almost tender like takes off his clothes, he feels his arosoule come back to full force.

“Breath my King,” Ignis’s hands are all over his body. Caressing and mapping out the muscles. Around curves and long lines, Noctis can't help but shudder. The hands feel amazing on his body, they make everything that has happened or that will happen seem to disappear. Brain finally kicking into gear, he moves, his hands move to Ignis’s arms and he grips them tight.

“To many,” He seems to slur out as his eyes zero in on Iggy. A soft chuckle is like music to his ears as Ignis’s hands move back up to his cheeks. He caress each one and then slowly starts to pull away. The noise that Noctis makes halts Ignis’s movements. Green eyes watch Noctis, he sees the worry etched on the youngers face.

“Let's get you kneeling my King,” Ignis leans forward and pulls the King into a gentle kiss. Just the feel of smooth against chapped ones. It's just a peck but as Ignis pulls away Noctis surges forward. It's a rough push and Ignis catches himself before he call fall backwards. Pulling away from the kiss, Ignis just tsks before moving back to the chair he was sitting at in the beginning of this little play. Noctis stands dazed, hands slowly making there way around his body, he feels cold without the other close. Turning to look, his body moves on his own.

Ignis’s back is to Noct, he’s shrugging out of his skulled jacket and right away Noctis pulls the jacket away from him. Noctis folds the jacket  and watches as Ignis pulls his suspenders down his arms. Noctis gulps as he takes a step back and places the jacket on the nearby table. Sitting back down Noctis right away comes closer as Ignis’s legs spread open, with a gentle pat Noctis drops to his knees.

“Very good My King,” Ignis’s left hand goes for Noctis’s hair and gently rubs at the messy locks. Noctis’s head goes down to rub at Ignis’s thigh. A purr practically leaves his throat as he feels his body react to the touches. He feels like he’s on fire, from his head to his toes. To everything that’s leaned against Ignis. This right here is what he needed.

“Thank you Ignis.”

Ignis smiles as he runs his hand down Noctis’s face. Cupping his chin, he tips it up, to watch as clouded blue eyes widen and then go to half mast. He gives a small whine as he tries to shuffle closer wanting more of the other man. Leaning forward a bit, Ignis leans down and kisses his King.

The kiss is a bit rougher. Ignis’s hands tightens around Nocts neck pulling him up just a bit. Noctis’s hands grip Ignis’s thighs tight as tongues dance. Noctis moans out like his life depends on it and Ignis just chuckles. Ignis lets the younger take over nipping and sucking at Ignis’s lips. As Noct pulls away to breath, it's almost like a strangled whine.

“At ease my King.” Ignis pulls Noctis up and onto his lap.

“I’ve got you.”

As Noctis settles, a deep blush covers not only his cheeks, but gradually progresses down his shoulders. Ignis is speechless. Noctis’s eye’s are half closed, lips slightly parted, skin dusted in pink, Nipples stand at attention, Ignis’s hand reaches out and caresses one, the gasp that leaves the owner has Ignis trailing his eyes back up.

Noct has stiffened on his lap, eyes shut tight and lips opening just a bit more. The smirk that crosses Ignis’s face goes unnoticed, as he trails his other hand up a pale thigh. The touches are like fire to Noct, he shakes under the attention, he pushes closer, wanting more. A small moan leaves his lips as Ignis’s hand trails up his thigh, awfully close to his now fully erect cock, and seems to tap out a little tune as it dances it’s way to Nocts hip.

“I’ve got you my King”

Ignis’s words hang heavy in the room as Noct pitches forward and lays his forehead on the older man's shoulder. It’s all new to him, the touches, the endearments, the simple title he now carries seems to wash over him, as Ignis takes both of his hands and trails them around Noctis and up his back. They cup his neck and Ignis pulls Noctis up.

He cries out.

The touch is a bit rougher and almost grounding, Noctis can feel himself slowly coming out of haze he had been happily sitting in. As clouded blue eyes open, Noctis can't help the gasp that leaves his lips. Ignis’s eyes are dark, the green of them seeming to fade away. The smirk that’s plastered on his advisor’s face seems to make his whole body throb. Shuffling just a bit, Noct pulls against the hands at his neck. His lower half rubbing against denim as he tries to relive some of the ach now sitting in his lower half.

One hand grips the base of his skull, a firm grip on his hair, Noct lets out a moan as his hand seem to finally want to be a part of play, and begin to reach for his cock. Ignis’s free hand is quick, he taps each of Noctis’s hand with enough force to halt there movements. Noctis’s whine is enough to get Ignis chuckling again.

“I’ve got you my King, Hands on my shoulders and nowhere else, understand?”

Noctis closes his eyes as his hands move to sit on either side of Ignis’s head. Ignis promised him that no words would be necessary, and Noctis lets out a happy sigh at being allowed to just follow orders. Ignis’s free hand trails down Nocts chest and rests just over a nipple, pulling his hair back, Noct’s head pitches back as Ignis leans forward and kisses all over his exposed neck.

The kisses vary from light pecks to nips from his shoulder all the way up to his chin. Noctis has floated so far away that he has no control, the moans that leave his lips are full of want. Hands grip Ignis tight and he jolts, pushing into the kiss, pulling away from the hand that's in his hair, rubbing down against the clothed man beneath him.

Noctis can feel it. The heat thats builded up over this little session, is like a raging fire.

“Iggy...please”

The strategist smiles at the plea. It’s like a whine almost and Ignis continues on as if he hadn't heard a thing. The hand in Noctis’s hair stays while the other trails down, he pinches at a nipple before following down the curve of muscles. Ignis licks a small line over Noctis’s collar bone before trailing back by blowing over it. The man in his arms shivers at the sensation, he grips Ignis’s shoulders tighter.

“Just let go My King.”

The words send him into a spiral as Noctis rubs down hard over Ignis as the hand in his hair grips tighter. The cry that leaves his lips is loud almost like a growl. His cocks spasms as he coats his stomach and chest with his seed. He shakes from head to toe and Ignis smiles at his king.

“I’ve got you.”

His words are quiet as slowly he unclenches his hand but slowly guides Noctis closer. He rests the kings head on his shoulder, the young man on top of his seems to go boneless. He cuddles close feeding off the warmth the advisor gives off. Getting him comfortable, Ignis holds Noct all the while whispering praises and words of encouragement.

“I’ve got you My King.”

[stellanoble]

Bloodstream {Bamon One-Shot}

So, it was recently pointed out to me that I’ve never shared my smutty goodness with Tumblr, so here you go. This was posted on FF.net and A03 awhile back, until I moved everything to my own website. It’s the first fanfic I ever wrote, which lead to the 23 chapter madness that is ODD DAYS. Enjoy!  - SN

Summary:  Bonnie and Damon are trapped in the Prison World. When his pessimism drives Bonnie to tears, Damon comforts her the only way he knows how - and discovers a longing for something more. 

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries: BAMON

Rating: All the smut. Like, all of it.

Musical Inspiration: Bloodstream by Stateless

She talks in her sleep. Random words and phrases in Latin, half mumbled curses and imaginings slipping past her lips in a purge. It’s like she’s trying to relearn magick even as she dreams, her subconscious attempting to tap back into the only thing that can get them home. He teases her about it relentlessly, but he’s already grown accustomed to the sounds; her white noise is a comfort on the nights he can’t sleep. Makes the world seem less empty.

It doesn’t happen often, but every once in a while - usually after a few too many drinks - she retires to her room opposite his and cries herself to sleep. He hears her through the walls, late night whimpering and pillow smothered sobs that, in the real world, could be mistaken for the sounds of the boardinghouse settling or some restless animal outside. He’d lay there, listening, wanting to get up and apologize for calling her useless, or for whatever else he had done that day to undermine her hope. But he was conscious of her efforts to keep her tears to herself; the crush of cotton against her lips echoed in his ears as she fought to suffer silently.   So usually, he would simply listen, try to afford her some privacy in this world so full of nothing. He’d picture her green eyes swollen and weeping, count the rapid beats of her heart, and wish the sadness would leave long enough for her to get some rest.

But tonight, when Bonnie’s tears start, he remembers the depth of her compassion, her empathy. He recalls the sacrifices she’s made - for their friends, for him, for those they love. He realizes she’s crying for the both of them. Crying for what they’ve lost, for what their lives could have been. And suddenly he’s no longer content to let her suffer on her own.

Damon gets out of bed and crosses the hall, entering Bonnie’s room without knocking. She starts but doesnt speak, doesnt look at him; just wipes her face quickly and curls deeper into the blankets. After a moment’s hesitation, he crawls onto the bed, staying on top of the blankets but wrapping his arms around her, burying his face in her hair.

“Come on, BonBon,” he says quietly. “Your chili wasn’t that bad.”

She laughs - the sound still choked with tears, but a laugh nonetheless.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he whispers, squeezing her softly. “We’re alone in this, together.”

She doesn’t reply, but her arms come up and grip him, her fingers intertwining with his. He kisses the top of her head and draws her closer, tightening their spoon position as her breath steadies into rhythmic air.

“We’ll be alright, Bonnie.”

*.*.*

He wakes a few hours later, the night still pressing down on them. Somehow, he’s ended up underneath the covers with her in his arms, half on top of him, their legs tangled and her head resting in the hollow between his neck and shoulder.  Damon lays his head down on the pillow and lets himself drift back to sleep, his hands roaming over her back, gently trailing and petting. She’s warm, her skin emitting that clove and earth scent that is specifically Bonnie and he breathes it in, lets it flood his senses.

Halfway between awake and dream, he forgets this is his own personal hell, forgets the loss of his brother. He forgets the fear and the lack of control over the circumstances, and he forgets the longing to see the sparkle in Elena’s eyes one last time.  He doesn’t quite recognize the feeling that envelops him in this moment; it’s foreign and familiar all at the same time, but it soothes him, and he’s grateful.

Contentment. That’s the word he’s looking for.  More content than he can ever remember being, his cellmate nestled close and settled against him. He smiles softly and his hands grow stronger on her backside, pulling her into a kind of hug, his hips involuntarily pushing up into her.

The moan that escapes her lips is rich with sleep and longing, and though she’s still unconscious Bonnie grinds herself against him in response. Damon snaps awake, his skin warming and the blood rushing to specific parts of his anatomy. And before he can comprehend what he’s doing he thrusts into her again, locking his groan in his throat at the contact. Her hand sweeps across his bare chest, absently tickling and pinching his nipple, but he can hear the change in her heartbeat as she starts to wake up.   If he gives her a chance to realize what she’s doing she’ll stop, pull away, and in this darkness, in this content moment, that’s the last thing he wants. He misses being touched, misses the blood pulse of another body pressed into his. He doesn’t think, just slides his hands down to her hips and shifts her tiny frame to completely over his body, squeezing her ass and surging up against her pelvis again.

Her eyes are open now as she looks down at him, hands trembling slightly against his shoulders. She doesn’t speak and neither does he but he holds her stare, ice blue and forest green locked together, silently discussing the right and wrong of it, each daring the other to back down. It’s a long moment before she leans in and brushes her lips against his, softly, tentatively, and he lets her set the pace as she teases her tongue into his mouth. He groans when her flavor hits his tongue and that grateful feeling rolls over him again, and when he opens wide to take all of her in Bonnie responds with a moan of her own that shakes his core. He can smell the heat of her blood as the desire rises within her, all smoke and spice, and he has to fight the urge to sink his teeth deep into her throat and drown in her red.

It’s slow. Quiet. Movements only frantic with the threat of realization, voices only used to whisper encouragement.  Clothes tossed with abandon as lips, fingers, tongue find the secret hidden places that make her moan his name. She’s free, sensual, wicked in a way he never dreamed she could be and Damon briefly wonders how he could have missed all this fire inside her before. It’s overwhelming the way the power and lust bursts from her skin and embraces him, takes him in, accepting all that this is without judgment, without fear. It’s only when her small, delicate hand grasps his cock and guides him to her entrance, only when he sees the hunger on her face does he realize that same inferno is burning within him, that this consuming is something they can only bring out in one another.

Heat. Pulsing, tingling, devastating heat wrapped around his cock like a vise and she meets him thrust for thrust, rolling her hips like a dancer, taking all he has to give. Which, from his perspective, is everything. Every whimper. Every growl. Every drop of sweat and every empty beat of his undead heart belongs to her. He can’t look her in the eye because he’ll cum too soon and he needs this to last just a little bit longer. Just a little longer.

Just a little bit longer.

The sharp tug of her fingers in his hair are just another spur now as she pulls him back into her line of sight and covers his mouth with hers.  He kisses her, hard and deep, losing himself in it before she deliberately runs her tongue along his fang, splitting it open and filling his mouth with blood.   Hot copper, sacred fire, hitting his throat as he surges into the tight, wet sheath of her body. His name, rising and falling on her breath, her nails in his flesh, the electric shock of her cunt as she starts to cum. He can’t take it, it’s too much too fast and Damon is emptying his cock inside her before he can stop himself, the ecstasy racing through his body and across every nerve. It’s good, so good and so fucking perfect he can’t help the roar of her name that bellows out of him, cant help the bruising grip he has on her hips as he watches the witch come apart beneath him, with him, for him.

It’s a few moments before either of them can move. But when he’s done panting air he doesn’t need to breathe, he’s gathering her to him, his hands cupping her face and staring into her bright eyes. She looks beautiful and spent, lips swollen and bruised from his attention, and when she opens her mouth to speak he kisses her again, effectively silencing her. He doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t want to remember where they are, who they are. He just wants this moment of peace and her magickal blood slipping across his tongue.

This moment where just the two of them is enough.

[haunted-alien]

so i did an ask reblog and @lamentedandmalcontented has requested for me to do all of them. and as they know, i never back down from a challenge. NEVER. (lmao) so let’s do this!

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? Seen My Man(Trixie Mattel), Mr. Know It All(Young the Giant), The Calender(Panic! at the Disco), Somebody to Love(Queen), That’s Life(Frank Sinatra), Monster(Kayne West ft. Nicki Minaj)

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Michlle Obama

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. “Wings, and no eyes, figure unheedy haste”

4: What do you think about most? death lmao

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? “Do we need coffee creamer do you know”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? with

7: What’s your strangest talent? im not sure. im pretty boring lol

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? nope

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? i cant even remember

11: Do you have any strange phobias? not any strange ones

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? yes....

13: What’s your religion? prefer not to say

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? probably relaxing with a cup of coffee

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind :)

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? i cant answer this

17: What was the last lie you told? yeah im doing great

18: Do you believe in karma? yes

19: What does your URL mean? it is pretty self explanitory. spooky extra terrestrials 

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? weakness: my emotions. strength: willpower 

21: Who is your celebrity crush? kate mckinnon

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? nope

23: How do you vent your anger? internalize that shit

24: Do you have a collection of anything? gems and healing stones!

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? video chatting

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? yes and im excited to see where i go

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? love: mechanical keyboards and acoustic guitar. hate: racism

28: What’s your biggest “what if”? what if i just died?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes and yes

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. right: my monitor, left: my glass of water

31: Smell the air. What do you smell? my seaside candle

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? the inside of a heroins addicts house

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? east coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? brenden urie

35: To you, what is the meaning of life? 42

36: Define Art. complicated and subjective

37: Do you believe in luck? kind of?

38: What’s the weather like right now? cloudy with a chance of rain

39: What time is it? it is 7:33pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? i do drive and i have never crashed

41: What was the last book you read? a midsummer’s night dream

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? i do

43: Do you have any nicknames? alien

44: What was the last film you saw? i believe it was moana

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? i skinned my face

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? yes :)

47: Do you have any obsessions right now? d&d

48: What’s your sexual orientation? bisexual

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? many times

50: Do you believe in magic? in a way

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? i try not too but i can be pretty petty

52: What is your astrological sign? scorpio

53: Do you save money or spend it? save

54: What’s the last thing you purchased? my new computer!

55: Love or lust? love

56: In a relationship? no....

57: How many relationships have you had? one

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? no, i wish

59: Where were you yesterday? i was home

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? some pink running shoes

61: Are you wearing socks right now? yup

62: What’s your favourite animal? orangutans 

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? sarcasm i suppose

64: Where is your best friend? at their home

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. @maryarty @bestbewaremysting @hammertimeinthegrill420 @yourlocalvodkaaunt @thatsthat24

66: What is your heritage? Irish, Italian, and Slovakian

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? watchin youtube i think

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? i think that is his last name

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? .......

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? im honestly not sure

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? save the dog

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? a)no, just tell the people that should know b) try to settle my life and worries c) i dont think so

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. trust

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? seen my man by trixie mattel

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 0844

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? love, trust, humor 

77: How can I win your heart? be nice to me and like me back

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? yes but also getting the help you need is more important

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? talking to the pretty girl who gave a presentation on fanfiction

80: What size shoes do you wear? 9

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? “i wanted to be cremated you twits”

82: What is your favourite word? soft

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. beat

84: What is a saying you say a lot? “fuck” “fcuking shit”

85: What’s the last song you listened to? currently listening to told you so by paramore

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? black, white, blue

87: What is your current desktop picture? kermit the frog

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? kim jong un

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? if *that person* asked if i liked them

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? panic, wonder where the hell they came from

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? honestly i feel like the most practical is endless money

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? prom with *that person*

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? being locked in my room while my parents screamed at each other for hours

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? probably lana del rey

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? london

96: Do you have any relatives in jail? yes

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? yes many times

98: Ever been on a plane? yup

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? please just be kind to one another and please just listen to each other. if everyone actually listened, we would be in a much better place

my goodness that was a lot! if any of you suffered through that, hi :) anyway that is them all! 

[thepalegoldmoon]

Answers

so i was asked to answer all of these so here i gooooooo!!!!~… kms… ;u;

— 1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

uhhhhmmm i dont really hold hands cause i over heat and the get clammy easily, so the last person i “held hands”/ linked arms with was actually at Anime Boston with this rad dude Jay, we were cosplaying Keith and Lance from Voltron. it was a good day, but we were tired as fuck.

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

kinda both depends on the situation and who im around tbh

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

in general or like famous??? uhhhmmm, if we’re going in general tbh me rad ass mate Jay cause why wouldnt I be looking forward to seeing this kid??? hes literally the best thing or person to see ever, duh! and if were going famous??? uhhhmmm music wise either Panic! At The Disco, TOP, orrrrr maybe a tie between some one from the Hamilton, or Heahters musicals.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

again depends on the situation and people. over all id say yeah in some way.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

uhmmm idk because we’d both probably be shit faced and tumbling over each other screaming, incoherently and laughing our asses off. While simultaneously getting into 20 different fights over cheese, bread, and cats. Then crying about video games and anime. probably in the midst of this we’d be laughing and patting each other’s back telling each other how good of a bro the other is an how we’re gonna take over the world by the sheer brute force of dogs and cats

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

uhhhhmmm i dont really have a type but there’s a guy i like alot whos my dream guy tbh, and to me hes perfect in alot and pretty much every single way. ºuº

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

probably not but its nice to hope and dream c:

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

either rn my friend Casey cause shes in spain this week for vacation or my childhood bestfriend Liz cause her birthday just pasted on april 7th and i havent seen her in years.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

depends on who im with and what exactly kinda stuff were talking about. but im always awkard af with everything so im always uncomftorble.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

mi boi Jay!!~ we tend to get into deep conversation alot. i enjoy it alot tbh hahaha.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

(when i got to this quesion)

 WE WILL BE TRASH GODS!!!~

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

UHMMM pass cause honestly the whole entirety of Heathers and Hamilton pretty much.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

OMFG HELL YEAH I DO!!!!!!!~

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

yeah man thats always been something i believe in because i have the most terrible luck but i like to believe miracles have happened in my life.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

i started the change in my social life and i got a really rad friend through the beginning phase of it!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

uhmmm ive only done pecks cause im  fucking looser so that was Jay, so hell yeah i would man hahaha! (hes got a kissable face its nice alright, i swear im not this fucking awkward XD) ((and bro i know youll end up reading this. i love ya man!! i hope this isnt too bad lol~))

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

fuck yeah i do bro. i wanna befriend at least one of them tbh.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

not really cause the kid left after 5th grade and i never saw him again,

19. Do you like bubble baths?

fuck yes.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

i dont really talk to them haha.

21. What are you bad habits?

i have alot, talking to much and fighting HARD during a fight, and having the worst timing for smart ass comments, and trying to change things i cant change too much. theres more but thats a good few.

22. Where would you like to travel?

everywhere and anywhere tbh

23. Do you have trust issues?

a bit ive more developed them because of shitty people

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

either shower or the part where i come home and either draw, eat, play video games, get to text my boi, or where i get to sleep.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

my nose, the corners of my mouth or my big toes.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

text my friend good morning or get up and play with my mouse for a few minutes

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

i enjoy my skin tone but i wish i could tan ith out burning although, ive always wanted to either be albino or see what its like to be darker.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

either Jay, or my friend Casey

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

nope because i dont talk to them XD

30. Do you ever want to get married?

at some point maybe haha

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

almost but the sides and some of my bangs are just a teeny bit off from making it :u:

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

uhmm not really any tbh theyre all to much older than me

33. Spell your name with your chin.

alyxx/ nyxx

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

ew no but i like swimming and to go on walks for fun

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

thats hard cause i need both for background noise

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

not really, i dont think so

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

something really stupid and half the time really provocative

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

ahhhh hahaha well i dont really know because the guy im crushing on is my dream guy js. and if i were to try and describe him id butcher the amazing and astounding beauty of the real person to be honest

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

ahhhh idk, lush?? and anything with food tbh

40. What do you want to do after high school?

die, or move to salem WITCHever comes first -u0 lol (bad pun i know i know)

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

i belive in ALOT of chances tbh

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

either im tired, extremely sad/depressed, overthinking/ thinking, focusing, thinking how to reply something or im REALLY fucking pissed off at you for something.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

REALLY FUCKING AWKWARDLY AND IN REALLY FUCKING AWKWARD SITUATIONS

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

UHHHHHH BOTH!!!!!~ TF?

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

THE INPENDING FEAR AND DOOM OF CRIPPLING ANXIETY IF I MISS THE BUS OR if im hanging out wiht someone that day the motivation of not being alone in my room with myself for the whole day or so hahaha, or a con/ meet up which applies to friends.

46. What are you paranoid about?

AAAHAHAHAHAHA IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION???? fucking everything…

47. Have you ever been high?

yes

48. Have you ever been drunk?

buzzed not drunk

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

uhhh i dont think so im not really very secretive. maybe like PERSONAL shit but no

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Grey

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

a few times

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

uhmmm either eye color and nose Physically.and personality wise i wish i wasnt so stubborn tbh.

53. Favourite makeup brand?

lush is the closest thing to makeup i use hunny

54. Favourite store?

lush

55. Favourite blog?

@thedevilandhisfiddleofgold​ c;

56. Favourite colour?

Blue

57. Favourite food?

uhmmm theres too many to list, all?? except spicy

58. Last thing you ate?

a cracker with nutella on it

59. First thing you ate this morning?

a cinnamon powdered sugar doughnut

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

nope

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Suspending, accused of stealing shitty locker wallpaper panels. THAT I ACCTUALLY FUCKING HADNT ;U;

62. Been arrested? For what?

nope

63. Ever been in love?

YES ;-;

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

never fucking had one kiddies sorry no story time for this one

65. Are you hungry right now?

kinda i want chips

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

uhm my only tumblr friends are friends in real life so not really because how do you like someone more on tumblr than you like them in real life??? not like its impossible its just odd.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

neither tbh, i only use my facebook for my work schedule

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

TUMBLR

69. Are you watching tv right now?

yes i started 13 reasons why

70. Names of your bestfriends?

jay, casey, liz (ranked most to least interaction and tbh who ive talked to most recently, those other two loosers never text me)

71. Craving something? What?

chips, cookies, FOOD, and love, BUT MOSTLY FOOD RN

72. What colour are your towels?

we have mostly white and black towels but theyre all just multicolored

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

(im also counting my stuffed animals as pillows)

at least 11 tbh

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

(refer to last question)

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

9

75. Favourite animal?

wolf, fox, raven, snowleopard, cat, snake (i cant choose)

76. What colour is your underwear?

black like my soul bitch

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

birthday cake or cotton candy/ bubblegum

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

black

80. What colour pants?

dark grey

81. Favourite tv show?

uhmmmm Voltron or steven universe

82. Favourite movie?

heathers and the crow

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

havent seen the second one (refer to previous question)

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

the lebanese chick and the gay guy that were friends with lindsay lohan’s character

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

thats a hard question cause i love them all ;-;

87. First person you talked to today?

Jay (and caiden???) i sent a message to a group chat right after i woke up, i was pointed at Jay but theyre both in that chat

88. Last person you talked to today?

same chat

89. Name a person you hate?

ahha ahhahaha hahahaha, mmmmm theres alot 

90. Name a person you love?

Jay, Casey, my pets

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

better question… is there not????

92. In a fight with someone?

i dont think so but im aboutabe casue they wont give me times on if theyre coming tomorrow or not ;-;

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

2 and a pair of sweat pants i made into shorts

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

hehehe at least 6 or 7. tbh my attack on titan one has been issing for a while and it makes me sad

95. Last movie you watched?

heathers, im not saying the technical last one cause it was gross as fuck and doe not count as a movie to me

96. Favourite actress?

ehhh hellena bonham carter

97. Favourite actor?

johnny depp

98. Do you tan a lot?

not really cause i burn and im afraid of getting skin cancer

99. Have any pets?

2 guinea PIGS and a mouse

100. How are you feeling?

alright kinda missing my friends and also kind anxious

101. Do you type fast?

depends on my mood, what im typing on,  and about

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

so.. many… things…

103. Can you spell well?

fairly decently i think, average nothing over the top but i try haha

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

ehhh Liz and my friend Julia from Germany she was cool.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

nope

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

there was a girl named shannon who was all over me and head over heels for me, she mightve been a taurus. she tried to use some serious mental shit to try and get me to stay. i told her to seek professional help and not me.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

nope

108. What should you be doing?

a 10 page paper and finishing final fantasy, and getting more loot boxes in overwatch

109. Is something irritating you right now?

not really knowing what to do with my senior paper, shop friends, being alone, and not having enough hours in the day and always being fucking tired.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

yes, i do right now, tbh, but its cool

111. Do you have trust issues?

this was already asked. slightly it depends on the person

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

no one, mentally and close to physiccally jay and caiden, but im always mentally crying. i dont physically cry if i do youre special, im not that soft.

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Ash

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

i was born in pittsburgh, pa. i lived in townsend, ma and i just recently moved to pepperrel, ma.

115. Do you play the Wii?

not any more

116. Are you listening to music right now?

not really

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

yes

118. Do you like Chinese food?

YAS

119. Favourite book?

how to make the perfect boy?? (its something like that) i also really enjoyed mrs. perigrines home for peculiar children.

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

im afraid of what might be in it

121. Are you mean?

i can be

122. Is cheating ever okay?

ew not wtf

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

probably not

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

kinda but only to an extent

125. Do you believe in true love?

again kinda but only to an extent tbh

126. Are you currently bored?

a bit

127. What makes you happy?

chilling with jay, playing wiht my animal or sleeping 

128. Would you change your name?

i want to, im trying to get Alyxx as my name hahah but i have a genius way to keep ASH

129. What your zodiac sign?

GEMINI BIATCH!!!!~

130. Do you like subway?

yeah its alright

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

uhhhh hahah i already dated my childhood bestfriend. Liz was chill but id kindly turn her down

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

already answered this up top, but Jay

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

hmmmm i have too many tbh, id love to put one here but i cant think of a good one atm sorry my dudes

134. Can you count to one million?

maybe but im to lazy to fam

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

hahaha ive told too many to put those down

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

CLOSED OMFG NO #TRIGGERED

137. How tall are you?

5′5.25″ ( THAT QUARTER IS IMPORTANT ;u;, believe it or not i had=ve alot of friends that are taller than me)

138. Curly or Straight hair?

wavy-ish

139. Brunette or Blonde?

i myself am a “brunette”

140. Summer or Winter?

kinda both

141. Night or Day?

ehh more night but i enjoy both

142. Favourite month?

either, October, November, December, and i actually am not a fan of my birth month may haha

143. Are you a vegetarian?

nope but ive thought about becoming one to cleanse and to get in better shape kinda reasons

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk and white

145. Tea or Coffee?

both

146. Was today a good day?

ehhh kinda

147. Mars or Snickers?

snickers but i wanna try a mars bar

148. What’s your favourite quote?

hahah either

“ another fucking heather! -sighs- Our love is god let’s go get a slushie!”

-JD “Heathers”

( i relate most to the heather part tbh)

  “ill hook ‘em…” “..and ill cook ‘em!”

-Roadhog and Junkrat “Overwatch”

( YEAH I KNOW IM TRASH BUT ITS A PRECIOUS QUOTE BETWEEN TO REALLY GOOD BEST MATES OKAY!!!??)

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

WHOLE HEARTEDLY, IVE SEEN THEM, IVE FELT THEM, IVE HEARD THEM, TALKED TO THEM, I RESPECT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM AND THEY ARE KINDA SLIGHTLY TERRIFYING BUT I LOVE THEM!

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“WOW MAGNUS, you’re probably thinking. That was… stupid!” 

Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard