#like i CAN tell them apart on the battle field but also consider differentiating some of these ppl more
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th two blonde women wearing white skintight suits standing next to each other in marvel rivals look the same 😭
#like i CAN tell them apart on the battle field but also consider differentiating some of these ppl more#i will say im actually encouraged to play dps here unlike ow#some guy had a cap america skin n i couldnt tell if he was thor or whoever#i dont even think the designs are terrible or anything like they USUALLY have good silhouettes just…not all of them
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I will be your armour
For @codywanweek 2021 Day 6: Armour.
You can also read this fic here on A03.
No warnings.
Cody sighed to himself as he stared at his armour pieces. The battle that had just ended had been a hard one, with Cody needing to replace some of his armour pieces, thankfully they had what he needed in storage on the Negotiator. Getting the new armour pieces wasn’t the problem, it was deciding what to paint on his armour. Just recently some of the Ghost company boys had said apart from his sun burst design, his armour was a little plain. When Cody had stared at their amour, the word hypocrites came to mind. Most of his brothers had pretty standard designs, so he had no idea why they were telling him to make his armour ‘more interesting to look at’. But with Cody needing new shoulder pauldrons he found himself considering new designs for his pauldrons. He was sat cross legged on the floor of his quarters; his armour pieces spread out in front of him as he stared at the two pauldrons in consideration.
The door to his quarters slid open and he looked up from his position sitting on the floor, his shoulder pauldrons shiny white by his knees. He found Obi-Wan looking down at him with a smile on his face and a pot of 212th gold paint in one hand. “To paint new pauldrons, I thought you could use some paint,” his cyare teased gently. Cody smiled and shook his head as the Jedi walked into his small quarters, placing the tin pot of paint on the floor by his knees and pressed a kiss against his lips. Cody raised one of his hands to rest at the back of Obi-Wan’s head, his fingers tangling with the copper strands. They both pulled away when the angle began to make their necks ache.
Cody sighed as he looked back at his armour pieces. “I was told to make my armour ‘more interesting’ but I don’t know what to do,” he complained. He wasn’t whining. He wasn’t.
Obi-Wan snorted in amusement and trailed his fingers through Cody’s dark curls as he moved to sit on Cody’s bed. The Jedi sat on the bed, his feet remaining on the floor, allowing Cody to lean his back against Obi-Wan’s legs. “I wouldn’t know the first thing about painting armour cyare. So, I will leave this challenge in your capable hands,” replied Obi-Wan softly.
Grumbling under his breath about the vagueness and unhelpfulness of Jedi, Cody turned to look at his cyare only to find Obi-Wan had dropped into a state of meditation, for once not crossing his legs. Cody rolled his eyes and turned back to his armour pieces with a mutter of, “you don’t know the first thing about painting armour because you don’t wear any.”
After a few minutes of pondering designs in his head, Cody craned his neck back to look at Obi-Wan and smiled fondly to himself. This wasn’t the first time someone had asked Obi-Wan for advice or ideas for painting their armour, and honestly, Cody should have expected Obi-Wan not to help him. Obi-Wan was constantly finding ways for the men to create things or find individuality wherever they could. The 212th had been the first Battalion to paint their armour, Obi-Wan used the sound reason that it helped differentiating between different Battalions on the field of battle. But it was also a way for the men to be individuals. Obi-Wan also encouraged the men on leave to look around the Jedi Temple when they had leave on Coruscant, other Jedi Generals did the same. But Obi-Wan was the only one Cody knew of who ran tours of the Jedi Temple for his men. Cody had often found himself in the Temple Archives, and on numerous occasions talked with Master Nu regarding the Jedi Code and old art artifacts the Archives had in its collection. The stern Archives Master would also share tea and stories of his cyare as youngling with a mischievous glint in her eyes, so Cody loved spending time with the older woman.
Thinking about how his cyare embodied the true meaning of the Jedi and how he always did his best to uphold the values of the Jedi Order. Cody decided on a design and got to work. First, he touched up the paint on his other armour pieces, as there was no use having fresh paint on his shoulder pauldrons but not on the rest of his armour pieces or helmet. Then he picked up his left shoulder pauldron, and with a steady hand he began to paint the Jedi Order’s symbol, as he finished the symbol he turned to smile once more at his cyare who looked peaceful in his meditation. Then he turned to his right shoulder pauldron, as he picked up the paint brush again, he thought about how his brothers in the 212th were trying to design an unofficial symbol for their Battalion, they had learnt about their General’s love of varactyls when he told them a story about riding one while a Padawan, and felt the friendly-yet-fierce animal could be a perfect symbol for their Battalion. So, Cody went about painting the silhouette of a varactyl the best he could from memory, while recalling the smile on Obi-Wan’s face as he told the Battalion the story of his mission as a Padawan on the planet of Pijal.
As Cody set his right shoulder pauldron back on the floor to dry, he leaned back against Obi-Wan’s legs feeling satisfied at his work. His satisfaction must have shone in the Force because he felt Obi-Wan stir and then lean forward so he could look at the armour pieces over Cody’s shoulder. A hand came to rest on his shoulder and squeezed gently. “I knew you would think of something worthy to be on your armour,” stated Obi-Wan. Cody reached his own hand up to cover Obi-Wan’s hand with his own. It seemed Cody did not have to explain why he painted the symbols he did, his cyare seemed to already know.
“Would it be too much to ask for you to get some armour pieces? I can help you paint them,” asked Cody as he turned to look up at Obi-Wan.
“I do not need armour Cody,” responded Obi-Wan with a roll of his eyes.
Snorting in disagreement, Cody stated blandly. “I beg to differ.”
Obi-Wan leaned forward so his chin was resting on Cody’s other shoulder. “My robe is my armour.”
“Osik it is,” swore Cody. “Your robe isn’t much protection. Especially when you drop it everywhere.”
Chuckling to himself, Obi-Wan moved his arms so they were wrapped around Cody’s chest and hugged him. “But cyare. Boil, Waxer and Wooley rely on my robe drops to rate them for entertainment purposes.”
“I would prefer you disappoint them,” growled Cody lowly. “And a battlefield is no place for entertainment.”
Obi-Wan didn’t answer, instead he lifted Cody up beside him on the bed and then stretched them both out to rest together. Cody wanted to put up some resistance, but the warm presence of his cyare on a rare quiet day, led him straight into sleep.
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Two weeks later, on yet another battlefield. Cody watched as his cyare, who had yet again shed his robe in a dramatic fashion, was facing down some droids who were throwing grenades. Even though Cody wasn’t Force sensitive, he sensed danger when he noticed some droids start to throw grenades towards his General, and so he ran towards his cyare. He knocked Obi-Wan over and together they tumbled and rolled for a couple of meters on the ground and then Cody covered Obi-Wan’s body with his own.
After the droids had been dealt with, Cody leaned up on his hands and looked down at Obi-Wan through his visor. “Now will you listen to me and get yourself some armour?” he sniped, but there was no anger in his voice, just worry.
Obi-Wan smiled up at him and rested a hand on the side of Cody’s helmet. “But that is what I have you for cyar’ika.”
Cody sighed in exasperation but found himself leaning his head forward and rested his forehead against Obi-Wan’s. He couldn’t feel his cyare’s skin through his helmet, but the action was comforting nonetheless. “I love you,” he murmured, only heard by the person the words were meant for due to the loud sounds of battle.
Obi-Wan’s hands traced the new symbols adorning his shoulder pauldrons. “And I love you. I do believe that your new pauldrons suit you very well cyar’ika.”
“You inspired them, cyare,” Cody readily admitted, his voice fond.
“Hey Cody! Stop smooching the General and give us a hand!” yelled Longshot, his voice holding too much mirth for Cody’s liking.
Obi-Wan’s eyes sparkled with laughter as he gently helped Cody to his feet. “Well, we had best do as Longshot says and give him a hand.”
“Just so long as you don’t take it literally and get your hand cut off,” remarked Cody dryly.
His Jedi frowned at him and mockingly put a hand over his chest. “Would I Cody? How could you doubt me so?”
“I just know you too well,” teased Cody. With one more press of their foreheads together, they marched back into the battle side by side. Just as it was meant to be. Cody figured, if Obi-Wan continued not to wear armour, he was indeed going to have to act as a second pair of eyes and armour himself, because he would not let anything bad happen to his cyare. The galaxy would have to get through himself and his 212th gold painted armour to do so.
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If you've already got a text summary of the special written up, it'd be awesome if you posted it. The only clip I've seen so far is of the magic hot dog guy; I'm curious what else happened.
No problem, here you go!
(note: I make some idly comments just because I never planned to post this, so sorry about that if it bothers you!)
- Mr. Pigeon is akumatized again and is trying to take the Eiffel Tower to space. Ladybug and Chat Noir use the pink (space) macarons to fly after him (there is no fanfare made about this by the way).
- Post-battle, yellow rose scene happens where Chat finds a "loophole" to Ladybug telling him not to give her flowers by insisting that it means friendship (I’m not sure what the obsession is with putting a label on their relationship?). Obvious shipping fuel follows with Ladybug absolutely PRAISING Chat Noir for being such a good partner+friend, which clearly strokes Chat Noir's ego.
- Marinette is going to school when she stops to take a picture of a new Adrien poster. Tikki groans and whines at her about it (”I thought you stopped taking pictures of Adrien”), but Marinette tries to say that it's different.
- What I’m gathering is that she's making an attempt to move on from "Miracle Queen" or has said that she's doing it but hasn't made the full leap.
- We’re shown a weird French-American sock puppet short that the students all made together pre-field trip. Miss Bustier says that she can't come on the trip because she's pregnant. The students loudly whine about Ms. Mendeleiev (who is peeking her head in so they haven't seen her), which Ms. Mendeleiev is hurt by.
- Sadrien (get used to Sadrien by the way) reveals that he can't come either because of his father. Lila tries to "comfort" him by saying that she can't go because of charity work and Marinette interrupts to give a speech about how she WILL convince Adrien's father to let him come because Adrien's her friend (”I-I mean, OUR friend!”; for some reason, the special like to stress Marinette differentiating between Adrien being Marinette’s friend versus everyone’s friends and it’s a little heavy-handed even though I know it’s Marinette’s nerves at work).
- Next scene is Alya and co. teasing/mocking Marinette for her crush and her calling Adrien a "friend". Marinette tries to talk about how exhausting it was crushing on him and it's easier just being friends. (I also have to add that it TICKS ME OFF because Marinette lists off the things that she's no longer doing and then Alix has to make a comment about things that she's probably still doing). Alya points out how "rOMaNtIc" a trip to New York will be and if Marinette's going to be okay with it. Marinette's priorities, however, are on convincing Gabriel.
- Gabriel and Nathalie are watching a news broadcast of a museum in New York and Nathalie points out an eagle miraculous. Marinette then shows up at the gate and, after being let in, Gabriel accepts her demand for Adrien to go. He later tells Nathalie that it's simpler than trying to hide his absence from him while he goes to New York himself.
- Kagami and Adrien are fencing. Sadrien is sulking after being beaten and vents to Kagami about how he wished that he could go on the trip. Kagami admits that she's sad for him, but happy for “him and her” because it means that they'll get to practice more. She kisses his upper lip (earning a brief smile from Adrien), then leaves.
- Marinette is excited about getting to go to New York with Adrien and is loudly cheering about it while skipping down the street. She catches Tikki grinning at her cheekily and tries to calm himself. Tikki then asks who's going to protect Paris while they're gone (I FEEL LIKE THIS WOULD'VE BEEN A GOOD QUESTION TO ASK A LONG TIME AGO??) and Marinette assures Tikki that she has a plan.
- At night, Ladybug tells Chat Noir about how she's going to be away but can't tell him any more than that. Chat groans about it because "sEcReT iDeNtItIeS" but agrees. Ladybug gives him a little ladybug-themed remote and shows him a cat toy she has. When he presses the button on the remote, the cat vibrates, so that's how he can warn her if something happens (she stresses seriously to him that it's only for emergencies).
- The next day, Gabriel is telling Adrien that he can go on the trip and Adrien nervously tries to refute by asking about his fencing/Chinese lessons. Gabriel points out that Nathalie packed his bags already and we get Sadrien again (they really did just make Gabriel wait a day to tell him so we could get Sadrien twice oh my gosh--) because he promised Ladybug he'd protect Paris. Plagg encourages him to go and Adrien eventually agrees on the pact of "what she doesn't know won't disappoint her," because Adrien has the akuma alert on his phone and the space macaron to "fly back quickly."
- Cue generic scene of Gabriel monologuing to Emilie ("mY lOvE, iT pAinS mE tO sEpArAtE fRom yOu fOr sO lOnG bUt--") and setting a rose on her coffin.
- Marinette is apparently running late for the bus. Luka is riding her there on his bike and insists that they'll make it because of how important the trip is to her. Marinette agrees, but asks if he means that it's important because of Adrien and tries to deny it. Luka simply smiles (not a sarcastic/mocking one that everyone else gives her) and waits for the bus to stop to explain that the importance he was referring to was this trip being used for getting her some clarity. She smiles, thanks him, and kisses his cheek before stepping onto the bus, continuing to look at Luka before the doors close. She turns afterward, sees Adrien, then blushes uncomfortably and smiles nervously as she walks along.
- There was some mini-plot about Chloe not wanting to go and then being forced to go but it's just there to stall for time really.
- On the plane, Adrien tries to find some media to look at but everything is basically either Ladybug+Chat Noir based or some film about Paris being destroyed. Marinette is looking for her seat and it turns out that she's sitting next to Adrien. Marinette is nervous and Alya teases/mocks Marinette again (get used to this) about "ohhh go sit next to your fRiEnD (get used to this especially), Marinette, for a vERY lOnG and cLoSE flight!"
- Marinette is even more nervous now (hm, wonder why) and sits next to Adrien, but is clearly panicked and struggling to breathe. Adrien tries to ask what's wrong, to which Marinette claims that it's hot. She tries to make things cooler by turning some knobs above her and Adrien puts his hands right over hers and insists that she let him help. Her panic in response ends with her seat flopping back and Adrien landing on top of her.
- She freaks out more and rushes to Alya to say that she can't do it and will need more help being "just a friend" to Adrien. Alya says that she can "just get off the plane" because of how romantic New York is and starts listing off scenarios. Marinette screams in horror and says that she has to "get out of here," to which Alya calls out for Ms. Mendeleiev to say that Marinette is getting airsick and should sit closer to the middle (Marinette literally just admits that she has to get out so I guess Alya's whole thing about getting off the plane was a lie) and Ms. Mendeleiev refuses until the students start complaining that "Miss Bustier would've let her move." Ms. Mendeleiev softens (this plot point goes nowhere by the way) and moves so Marinette can have her seat. Marinette tries to distract herself, but the magazine in front of her has Adrien's picture on it.
- Note: there's a running gag about Gorilla doing nothing for this whole special because he's airsick and has his player continuously going to relax him. It will cut back to him multiples times while they're in New York with him doing nothing but relaxing.
- Cut to the plane post-takeoff. Marinette wakes up at night to Mr. Damocles spilling popcorn on her because he's asleep. He falls over her and she gets up to sigh. She goes past all the ships (DJWifi, Myvan, and Julerose) then goes to the bathroom to clean up. However, the plane jostles and she gets soaked; her shirt is wet and she has toilet paper in her hair. Thoroughly miserable, she tries to go back to her seat, but Mr. Damocles is sleeping on it, so she goes out to the plane's nearest window to look at the sunrise. Adrien shows up out of nowhere to talk about how beautiful it is and the plane jostles to force them together. Alya conveniently wakes up and looks to see Marinette and Adrien together (now standing normally next to each other). Alya wakes up Nino and they watch them together.
- Blatant shipping fuel time: "*softly* You've got something, Marinette." "S-something?" "*now obliviously* Yeah, there, in your hair."
- Alya is annoyed and Nino goes on about how Adrien has a hard time understanding the signals people send him. Alya argues "what signals?? Marinette isn't exactly sending them clearly!" Nino wishes that the trip could "finally help Adrien come out of his shell" while Alya wishes that Marinette "could be more honest with herself and clear about her feelings." They then get a simultaneous idea for "Operation: New York"
- Adrien hugs Marinette in thanks for what she did to get him on this trip and she's nervously babbling about "oh sure what are friends for" and makes some comment about Adrien's cologne. The plane then jostles, forcing them apart.
- A supervillain (Techno Pirate) is attacking the plane. Cue Alya basically introducing everyone (Majestia, Knightowl, Uncanny Valley, and Sparrow) while the plan is being saved. Marinette and Adrien considered transforming but end up not having to (Mr. Damocles goes to turn into his "superhero persona" but the day is already saved once he comes back).
- More exposition on the bus ride around New York as Marinette points to something off-screen and Alya explains that it's a superhero directing traffic because "there's a superhero for everything around here." However, she quickly diverts to asking Marinette about her "friend" (she's done this like thrice by now and two of them have been with airquotes and I'm extremely annoyed). Marinette brushes it off that it was "just as friends" and Alya seethes in frustration.
- Meanwhile, Nino stops Adrien from looking at his phone (he's looking at Paris news) by grabbing his face and turning his gaze towards Marinette, saying that Adrien should "open his eyes and take it all in" (Alya is very non-subtly pointing at Marinette). Adrien turns his gaze elsewhere and agrees that it's beautiful.
- Once the students are in the building they’ll be staying in, Aeon (an android and Uncanny Valley’s civilian form) is scanning all the students with her Special Eyes™️, but notices that two students are missing. She looks to see that Marinette and Adrien are stuck between two sets of double doors because the second set isn't opening, leaving them in a relatively small space. Marinette tries to get it open, but just slams face-first into the glass. Adrien tries to help but she panics at his touch. Aeon opens the door while Marinette happens to be leaning on it, so Marinette falls forward onto the floor and her luggage spills everywhere.
- A male teenager notices Marinette (oddly doesn’t laugh at her which was nice) and recognizes her and the others as "the cool kids who made that sock puppet movie" (from the beginning). Adrien is helping Marinette with her things and their hands brush, leading Marinette to pull away nervously.
- A small distance away, Jessica (Aeon’s friend and Sparrow’s civilian form) is groaning about "watching a bunch of kids" while Aeon points out Adrien and Marinette and says that "they're made for each other". Jessica angrily tells her "not again" (Aeon argues that she "was programmed to help people”) and tells her to stop interfering with people's private lives, to which Aeon relents and agrees to just protect the students.
- Ms. Mendeleiev gives everyone a curfew and they groan about it, but go off to their room anyway. The guy from earlier whispers to them and explains that he and his buds are throwing a party on the roof later that night. He also winks at Sabrina, who blushes and gets teased by Alya (who still finds a way to be like, "and you, Sabrina, might make a fRiEnD *nudges Marinette, who looks very done right now, as do I*"). Chloe then interrupts to complain about the idea and march off.
- Alya and Marinette get stuck in the same room as Chloe and Sabrina (this goes nowhere and is literally only brought up in this one scene). Aeon and Jessica are spying on them and Jessica is, again, groaning about how boring this all is.
- Cut to later that night when everyone is sneaking out. Ms. Mendeleiev hears them and goes to investigate, so Alya+Nino and Adrien+Marinette duck into separate rooms. Adrien and Marinette happened to stumble into Aeon and Jessica's room (Aeon is admiring them like her ship is happening). Marinette nervously greets them and is all "this is my friend Adrien who is just a friend." Aeon leans towards Jessica and whispers that "see? they're made for each other," to which Jessica sighs and just tells Adrien and Marinette how to get to the rooftops without being detected. Aeon waits for them to leave, then asks Jessica why she did that ("I thought we weren't supposed to meddle") but Jessica just says that they might as well have something to watch if they're supposed to keep an eye on them. Jessica picks up her guitar and heads up to the rooftops.
- Meanwhile, Sabrina is sulking in her room when the guy who winked at her earlier opens the window and helps her out so she can come up to the roof. (this also goes nowhere, by the way)
- Everyone is dancing to music when a hotdog superhero appears (Jessica comments that he usually teams up with ketchup and mustard superheroes but is going solo tonight) and offers everyone hot dogs. The hot dogs are magic and make things happen (such as exhaling pretty sparks of light, changing skin color, etcetera). However, by the time Nino+Alya and Adrien+Marinette get to them, there are only two left. Each "ship" takes a single hot dog, but while Marinette tries to just pass it off to Adrien (who then tries to pass it back), Nino breaks it in half and gives it to both of them. Nino and Alya's hot dog gave them high-pitched voices while Marinette and Adrien's makes them fly. Jessica now agrees that Aeon was right and "they really seem to be made for each other."
- Alya approaches at Jessica’s comment to say that the situation is "far from simple." Realizing that Jessica plays guitar, Alya asks her to play a specific song. Jessica does, and Adrien points out to Marinette that it's the song they danced to at Chloe's birthday (excuse me? no it wasn’t) party. Marinette agrees and Adrien asks her to dance again, holding out his hand. The gesture freaks Marinette out and she nearly goes flying off before he grabs her hand and pulls her into a dancing position (just like "Despair Bear," by the way, Marinette hasn't agreed to anything by the time he pulls her into a dancing position). They slowly spin ("dance") together in front of the full moon.
- The next day, Alya is asking Marinette about the dance and Marinette tries to insist it was a friendly dance (Alya is annoyed). Alya then gets sidetracked by the civilian form of "Doorman" (superheroes don’t care much about secret identities in New York) a superhero who creates portals using doors. She leaves to try and get a quote from him for the Ladyblog.
- Cut to later. Jessica looks over and sees that Marinette and Adrien are stuck between two sets of automatic doors (yes, again), with Marinette desperately waving at the sensor to try and get the doors to open. Each time the doors open, however, she tries to go through and the doors slam shut before she gets there, her face smacking against the surface. Jessica groans and Aeon comments that Marinette and Adrien go through "repetitive behaviors."
- Marinette talks to Adrien about how they always seem to "end up together--STUCK together!", to which Adrien is all, "I don't mind being stuck somewhere with a friend like you." (if shipping fuel was tangible, I’d be choking on it by now)
- Jessica comments that it might help if Adrien and Marinette found each other in a "dangerous situation." Alya asks Jessica if she's out of her mind and Aeon comments that "two people confronted with extreme situations often cause their feelings for each other to become strong" (thanks for clarifying how invalid "Oblivio" is I guess??).
- While Marinette is still struggling to force the double doors open and squeeze through, Jessica explains a plan to invent a fake supervillain (who threatens to kidnap anyone who "nobody loves)" and how Alya just needs to get Adrien and Marinette alone in a specific room together. Then, the supervillain would threaten Adrien, and Marinette would confess to show that Adrien isn't unloved. Alya goes through the whole "so stupid it just might work" thing and they agree to help. Nino is impressed and is about to ask how they plan to invent the supervillain, but are cut off by the sound of the double doors. They all look over to see Marinette on top of Adrien, on the floor, and the double doors keep opening and closing on them.
- In a car, Gabriel is explaining some sort of history about the Marquis de Lafayette (Gilbert du Motier) and talking about how the guy had an incredible ability to galvanize people, but he thinks that it was a miraculous at work. Gabriel tells Nathalie to "take care" of Paris while he takes care of New York. He transforms in the car (the license plate says “TSURUGI-1″ for some reason).
- He akumatizes Techno Pirate (who was being driven away by police who I guess must’ve been taking their sweet time) into Techclonizer and tells him to go get the saber that Gabriel and Nathalie were viewing earlier.
- Everyone's at the museum when Alya tells Marinette to go get a picture of the saber. Marinette agrees (suspecting nothing) while Nino pretends to have lost his headphones and asks Adrien to go look for them in a particular room. Doorman (who's in civilian form because everyone knows his identity) is rambling about how much he'd love to get into a specific safe in the Statue of Liberty or something (out of curiosity, not because he's evil) and Alya asks him why he doesn't just make a portal there. He says that superpowers should never be used for personal gain and then talks about how it wouldn't matter because the key is in the Eiffel Tower.
- Adrien and Marinette see each other in the saber room and Aeon closes the doors so they can't get out. Adrien then gets an akuma alert about Robostus terrorizing Paris, but points out that it doesn’t make sense because Markov is with the group. Marinette checks her purse to have Tikki confirm that Chat Noir hasn't contacted her with the cat toy.
- Jessica and Aeon are confused at why nothing is happening between Marinette and Adrien (since they're distracted). Jessica turns the lights off and Aeon makes a hologram of the fake supervillain, only for Hawk Moth's supervillain to bust into the room. Aeon notes that she can't get a read on him, as if magic is interfering with her scanning tools. Jessica and Aeon then touch the matching bracelets they have that instantly transform them into their superhero forms.
- Tikki doesn't know what to do and Plagg is asking Adrien about going back to Paris and warning Ladybug. Everyone else in the museum is finally catching on that something is happening and they flee. Doorman transforms into his superhero self with his own bracelet so he can make a portal for everyone to escape into. Sparrow tries to contact the United Heroes, but her communicator is shot. Uncanny tries to leave via Doorman's portal (Doorman's like "Let the AdULtS handle this!") but the supervillain grabs her and yanks her back. Apparently, his tentacles steal Uncanny's powers, but only some of them(? She can still fly so--?).
- Adrien sees a tower about to collapse on Marinette and transforms, only for Uncanny to plow the supervillain (again, she can still fly) into the pillar that Chat Noir was hiding behind, causing the rubble to fall all over them. Marinette also transforms, then helps Sparrow up, but sees Chat Noir in the process. Chat Noir asks about Marinette and Ladybug says that she got her to safety, but presses on asking Chat Noir about why he's not in Paris.
- Hawk Moth, meanwhile, tells Nathalie to get rid of the sentimonster in Paris. While the teenage heroes are taking the fight with Techclonizer elsewhere, Hawk Moth descends into the room in the museum to steal the eagle miraculous while everyone else is distracted.
- Sparrow asks Chat Noir if they came to help them out and Chat Noir lies and says that they came "in honor of French-American friendship week" (Ladybug rolls her eyes). Ladybug and Chat Noir then charge into battle and Sparrow comments on how Ladybug and Chat "don't need anyone's permission to fight." Ladybug uses the comment to chide Chat Noir because he didn't tell her about going to New York. Uncanny asks Sparrow if she warned the adult heroes and Sparrow says that she couldn't, but they don't need them. Sparrow says that she wants them to prove themselves that they can be just like Ladybug and Chat Noir (cue obvious joke about Sparrow saying, "They're such a great team!" and then faltering at seeing Ladybug and Chat Noir mid-argument).
- Also, as usual, Chat Noir is the one faltering in battle while they're arguing and Ladybug is the one staying on top of things even though she's mid-scolding him.
- "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?" "I was afraid you'd get angry!" "And you were right!"
- Chat uses Cataclysm (completely unpromoted) and Ladybug uses Lucky Charm, the latter getting a bicycle pump. Chat asks what she's going to do with it and Ladybug says she has an idea but Chat wouldn't like it (while tapping the bike pump against her hand with a look like "bOY I'M ABOUT TO SMACK U GOOD").
- Chat reiterates that he didn't tell her because he was afraid of losing her trust. Ladybug is basically like, "Uh, yeah??? I can't trust you anymore." Chat, who was in the middle of protecting Sparrow, drops his baton in shock. Techno Piraye targets him, grabbing him and throwing him towards Ladybug.
- Uncanny jumps in front of Ladybug and Chat Noir ends up Cataclysming her by accident, powering her off completely as she rusts with cracks forming in her armor. Everyone is horrified and Majestia (who I presume has psychic powers or some connection to Uncanny despite not showing up earlier to help fight) is heard screaming from up in the sky. Majestia swoops down and punches Techclonizer through a bunch of buildings. Hawk Moth de-akumatizes him and insists that that's enough for now, then approaches in his car and tells the Techno Pirate to get in and leave the saber behind.
- Knightowl descends on the situation, seeing the saber and squinting at it (idk what this is supposed to tell me).
- Majestia is sobbing over Uncanny's... idk, corpse? Uncanny also de-transforms (Ladybug and Chat recognize her and gasp in horror). Majestia's all like, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE" (no, I don't know how she knows that they did anything; also, bold of Majestia to ask that question when she probably just killed a few people in her rage of punching Techno Pirate through several buildings). Chat Noir quietly admits that it's his fault (yeah see she didn't know and just PUNCHED the supervillain so like--????) and Knightowl shows up, asking Sparrow why she (I say “she” but both Knightowl and Sparrow are considered males by the public and use male voice filters in superhero form) didn't call and asking Ladybug and Chat Noir what they're doing there. Ladybug insists that she can help and Knightowl angrily is like, "What?? With your magic bicycle bump?" Ladybug frowns, but is like, "Precisely," then uses Miraculous Ladybug to heal all the damage and thus bring Aeon back.
- Majestia thanks Ladybug, but Knightowl still goes off on Ladybug and Chat Noir. Sparrow tries to defend them, but Knightowl yells at Sparrow for not calling and disobeying (not letting Sparrow get a word in edge-wise). Knightowl demands that Ladybug and Chat revert to their civilian forms and hand her "the source of their powers," which they can have back when they leave town. Ladybug points out that she fixed everything (I presume this includes the people that Majesta may’ve injured or killed) and Knightowl says that if her "power" (she says it very mockingly) is fixing Chat Noir's mistake (dunno how Knightowl heard Chat’s quiet mutter of, “It’s all my fault,” considering that she only came on the scene afterwards), they don't need her. Majestia says it's for the best and is like but what if you couldn't have fixed her or if she wasn't an android??? (gee, I dunno, Majestia, what if she hadn’t fixed the damage YOU did either?)
- Ladybug whispers to Chat Noir that they can't give up their miraculouses. They bail and Knightowl follows them for about five seconds before losing them.
- Ladybug and Chat Noir escaped into the sewers and Ladybug says that they have to get back to take care of Robostus. However, she looks at the news on her yoyo to see that Robostus is gone and Paris is severely damaged. Chat asks if she can just make a Lucky Charm while they're in Paris and Ladybug explains that her power simply makes a magical object that repairs damage caused by a specific villain, but the villain in Paris is already gone, so nothing can be done. They solemnly walk off to separate sides of the sewer (you don't need to see this shot by the way because it's basically a copy of the one from "Mayura").
- Chat Noir says that it's his fault and that Ladybug was perfect as always (I don’t know why the show continues to pretend like Chat thinks Ladybug is perfect when he’s constantly questioned her before), and also that Knightowl was right to try and take his miraculous because he left Paris without telling Ladybug. He also comments that, if Aeon hadn't been a robot, he would've caused "irreparable" harm (how convenient; also, I have no idea what he means by that and need elaboration; Miraculous Ladybug already fixes everything Cataclysm harms - even when Plagg destroyed so much of Paris - so I fail to see why it wouldn’t fix a person).
- Marinette and Adrien de-transform, and Adrien apologizes to Plagg before renouncing him. Marinette is shocked and looks over as she sees the cat being put down on the floor (she doesn't see Adrien; only his arm). He says that he doesn't want to hurt anyone, "least of all [Ladybug]," to which Marinette goes to chase him (”Wait!”) but stops when realizing that she's de-transformed so he’d see her identity. Sadrien runs off crying and Marinette can only tearfully call out to him, getting no response.
- Elsewhere, Gabriel puts on the eagle miraculous and the eagle kwami is summoned. She calls out to "Gilbert" (the Marqee guy) before turning and realizing that the one who put on the miraculous was not in fact her original holder. Gabriel goes on about how he hopes the miraculous can give him what he wants and she (warily) explains that she's "Liiri, the kwami of freedom. My power is basically to free people from anything that prevents them from reaching their full potential, nothing too powerful. [nervous chuckle]". Gabriel points out that it's all he needs to seize Ladybug and Chat Noir's miraculous and Liiri cowers in fear.
- Ms. Mendeleiev is counting up her students and Nino+Alya point out that Adrien+Marinette aren't around. Meanwhile, Knightowl and Majestia's civilian selves (Barbara and Olympia respectively; Barbara is not anywhere NEAR buff like Knightowl is - to the point where I didn’t recognize her - and I'm disappointed) walk into the building, in the middle of scolding Jessica and Aeon, with Barbara telling them that they were supposed to be watching the students. Aeon basically reveals everything they did, including setting up Adrien and Marinette. Barbara is infuriated and Olympia calms her down. Aeon states that she doesn't understand why they’re upset and quotes the, "all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing," line that Majestia always says, to which Olympia says that "doing good doesn't always mean fighting" and how Aeon’s actions put her, Jessica, and the French students in danger. Jessica angrily goes off about how they just wanted something to do because they're "not babysitters" and have nothing to do otherwise. Barbara goes off in return about how they failed to watch the French students, then forbids them both from joining on the hunt for Techno Pirate. Jessica is annoyed and Aeon points out that Ladybug and Chat Noir don't need permission to do things, to which Olympia says that she almost lost Aeon because of it.
- Cut to a rainy scene with Sadrien and Marinette are walking down separate streets back to the student building (I don't know how they conveniently ended up on completely opposite sides at the exact same time but alright, we’ll roll with it). Nino keeps trying to call Adrien but Adrien isn't answering (even though the phone is in Adrien's hand like--??? dude you can ignore your phone but why put it in your hand outside of the sake of a camera angle?). Plagg is sulking in Marinette's purse about how this is his fault for not stopping Chat Noir from leaving Paris. Marinette glumly just says that Chat Noir "made his choice" and "what were we supposed to do?"
- The president is making an announcement on TV about how they’re postponing the French-American friendship event because of how dangerous it is with Techno Pirate running about. The president then transforms into her superhero form and promises that they'll keep patrolling until the supervillain is found.
- Cut to Hawk Moth entering a bathroom, where he's kept his supervillain chained up in a tub (I don't even know anymore). The supervillain demands to be let out and Hawk Moth agrees, also returning the akuma to him. He adds on "an apology" for keeping him locked up in the form of the eagle miraculous, explaining that the transformation phrase is, "Liiri, Wings of Prey!"
- Back to the angst, Alya and Nino catch Adrien and Marinette outside through the windows. Some of the students rush out to see them and Adrien and Marinette stop to stare sadly at each other. A car shows up and Gabriel (in video form on the back of the seat ala "Origins") tells Adrien to get in because it's too dangerous now. Nino tells Adrien to stay and Adrien apologizes to Marinette that her efforts were wasted, repeating the phrase, "I wouldn't have minded being stuck here a little longer with a friend like you." Marinette opens her mouth to say something, but stops and stares at the ground. Adrien's weak smile turns into a frown (I guess he was fishing for expecting something??) and he says that his father was right and that he never should've come to New York.
- Adrien gets in, closes the door, and the car drives off. Alya rushes down the stairs, asking Marinette "What is WRONG with you?" (wow okay we’re doing this now) and "Couldn't you see that he was just WAITING for you to tell him to stay?" (apparently Nino means nothing to Adrien anymore, alright). Marinette tells Alya that "it was his choice" and "what did you expect me to do" (a blatant reference back to what she said about Chat Noir and I'm groaning). Alya angrily goes off about how it didn't matter and what matters is who Adrien is to Marinette; a friend or "more than a friend" (I don’t know how Marinette’s feelings can magically impact how Gabriel feels about taking Adrien home but sure)? She grabs Marinette's shoulders and pressures her, asking if she wants Adrien to leave or stay, to which Marinette turns and rushes off to chase Adrien, screaming for him to stay. She tries to call him ("I already lost Chat Noir, I can't lose him too") but her phone is too low on battery because of course it is.
- Marinette grabs a random bike and helmet off the ground and tries to bike after the car, but doesn't get very far. She tries to make a turn and the bike slips due to the rain, careening away while Marinette rolls and hits the ground face-first. Marinette tearfully looks after the car and whispers, "Adrien, I... love you," before letting her head fall onto her arms.
- Back with the actual plot, the heroes are searching for Techno Pirate when said supervillain (now Miraclonizer) shows himself, pretending to surrender. They're suspicious and Majestia goes in, assuring that "she's the only one he can't harm."
- She approaches (with the other heroes in firing distance) and Miraclonizer unleashes the eagle's power, "Liberation." This causes lights to emerge from his torso and touch all the superheroes, giving Miraclonizer a mental link with them. Visually, the mental link shows his face and the hero's facing each other, eyes closed, then an image of the hero curled up with a link of chains around them, which vanishes after his speech, an example of which is, "Majestia! You're afraid of your own power! I release you from your fears!" The heroes basically all go off from this to do their own thing (Majestia destroying stuff to test the limits of her powers, Knightowl "bringing justice" without morality, etcetera).
- Miraclonizer hooks Hawk Moth up to the TV (Hawk Moth literally says, "hook me up" and I want to die) and Hawk Moth gives a speech to "Ladybug and Chat Noir" about how he's in New York and they need to hand their miraculouses over. Aeon (who is watching this with Jessica) drags Jessica off to try and convince her to help (Jessica says that the adults told them not to move and Aeon responds with something about how "being human means knowing when to bend the rules). They run to the rooftops and Jessica is nervous about how no one is there with them. Aeon points out that Ladybug and Chat Noir exist, to which Jessica reminds her that "they" almost de-activated her (gonna throw blame at Ladybug too, a’ight). Aeon says that this is an akumatization they're dealing with, so there's no chance without Ladybug and Chat Noir. Jessica is like "BUT THEY'RE TEENAGERS" to which Aeon is like "And so are we." This immediately convinces Jessica, whose only remaining question is about how they're going to find them. Aeon says that nobody can keep a secret identity from her, so she transforms and flies off.
- Jessica (as Sparrow) goes to scope out the situation, all like "okay I have basic training and minimal weapons and am going against all these superheroes (also, apparently Majestia is pulling a Majora's Mask and trying to shove the moon into the Earth, raising the water levels)... i'll be fine."
- Uncanny descends in front of Marinette and tells her that they need Ladybug. Marinette plays dumb until Uncanny says that Ladybug's "suit of quantum masking" is meant to confuse human minds, but she is not human (so... glamour confirmed??). Apparently, Marinette didn't even see Hawk Moth's video feed (RIP, Hawk Moth’s efforts) as Uncanny has to explain the akumatization to her. Marinette looks down at the ring in her hand and sadly admit, "I can't imagine being Ladybug without... him," (because girl power) to which Uncanny assures her that she’ll take care of it. Marinette smiles confidently at her and hands over the ring.
- Sadrien is flying in a plane back to Paris when he sees Uncanny out the window. Uncanny breaks into the plane and tells him that he's needed, but Adrien is still feeling sorry for himself. Uncanny is all "to err is human apparently" and Adrien insists that his mistakes are unforgivable and he "couldn't bear to see the disappointment in [Ladybug’s] eyes." Uncanny responds by playing a voice clip of Marinette saying the "can't imagine being Ladybug without him" line, then telling Adrien that, "his lady (ugh) is waiting for him." This immediately breaks Adrien out of his funk and he takes the ring back.
- Adrien puts the ring on and Uncanny is confused at him interacting with Plagg. Plagg reminds Adrien that kwami can't be viewed by tech and thus Uncanny can't see nor hear him. He starts making faces at Uncanny for fun and Adrien follows up by transforming.
- Sparrow is fighting against the heroes and Ladybug saves her. She gets them to safety and explains the whole "break the object" thing, suspecting that it's in Miraclonizer’s handcuffs. Sparrow talks about the necklace and Ladybug realizes that it's a miraculous. Uncanny and Chat (who was briefly in space form to fly there) descend and Ladybug rushes to hug him, telling him to "never do that again." Chat apologizes and says that he was stupid and so afraid of disappointing her that he said nothing. They pull away to fistbump.
- Hawk Moth tells Miraclonizer that it's time to get to the next step. Miraclonizer snatches a device from the superhero president and flies off using the wings that the eagle grants him. He perches at the torch of the Statue of Liberty and presses a button, which activates a rocket. Hawk Moth threatens over the monitors that he'll start a World War if the miraculouses aren't handed over to him, adding that they have five minutes (he even does a taunting "tick, tock--")
- Ladybug is making a plan with Chat Noir, Uncanny, and Sparrow. She uses Lucky Charm and gets a Statue of Liberty keychain. Uncanny is skeptical (and Ladybug can't see anything immediately useful), but then Ladybug asks how the Statue of Liberty was built. Uncanny gives Ladybug a diagram and Ladybug gets an idea. She points out that there's a ladder that leads to the torch platform (where the supervillain is), but Chat Noir doesn't know how they're going to get inside. Ladybug and Sparrow look at each other and say in unison, "Doorman!" Uncanny points out that Doorman only uses his powers for himself now (courtesy of "Liberation"), but Ladybug gets the rest of the idea now, and basically:
- Aeon and Jessica (de-transformed) take a picture of a package they put outside a specific door, sending it to Doorman’s (Dean Gate’s) phone "as thanks for the museum. Doorman shows up, unwraps the gift, and sees the keychain inside. It's enough of a hint for him to go to the Eiffel Tower and Ladybug and Chat Noir follow him through the portal. They let him get the key (which is in a random drawer), then wait until he makes a portal back. Once he goes through, they go through too and capture him. Chat Noir uses his belt to tie him up, then he and Ladybug ignore his begging ("at least let me see what's inside the safe!!!") and rush to the torch platform. Ladybug jumps at Miraclonizer and takes the miraculous, knocking Miraclonizer (who I guess is technically Techclonizer again?) off the platform too (he lands fine). She then throws the miraculous to Sparrow, who lands and slips the miraculous on. Liiri calls her "fledgling" and states that the actual transformation phrase is "Wings of Liberty," (which I guess confirms alternate phrases?), so Jessica transforms and says, "Cool down," which stops the "Liberation" power affecting all the heroes.
- Ladybug and Chat Noir refuse to give Techclonizer their miraculouses. Hawk Moth is all, "can't say I didn't warn them," from whatever place he's chillin' at (some random hotel idk; it’s where he was when he had Techno Pirate in the bathtub - again, what? - as well) and Techclonizer launches the rocket. However, Majestia stops it and throws it into the sun.
- Ladybug and Chat Noir are fighting Techclonizer and Ladybug is knocked back. Knightowl helps her up, then entangles Techclonizer and reels him in. Chat Noir Cataclysms the handcuffs and the akuma is freed. Ladybug does her schtick (apparently they felt the need to show Miraculous Ladybug giving Chat Noir's belt back).
- Jessica goes to return the eagle miraculous, but Ladybug tells her to keep it. Jessica points out to Knightowl that she disobeyed again, then asks if that means she won't be getting her weapons back. Knightowl says that she won't need them with the powers of the miraculous, and that she was wrong about Jessica not being ready. Jessica hugs her excitedly and calls her, "Mom," then realizes what she did and apologizes. Knightowl says it's fine and that, with Jessica's new suit, people now know that Sparrow is a female, not a male, and that the "legendary original Knightowl and Sparrow" (we see flashes of a bunch of former Knightowls and Sparrows) are long gone. Knightowl removes her mask and says that maybe it's time for them to embrace who they really are. Majestia also admits that, even if it still worries them, it's best to let them take chances so they can grow. They then thank Ladybug and Chat Noir and ask them to forgive them for misjudging them. The teens all do a fist bump.
- Meanwhile, Hawk Moth is monologuing about how his theory was correct and that there are other lost miraculouses, and how he'll find them no matter where they are.
- Over on the Statue of Liberty’s torch, Ladybug is asking Uncanny about her knowing their secret identities. Uncanny assures them that she'll just delete it from her memory banks after they leave. Chat Noir (in space form again) flies off with Uncanny while telling Ladybug that he'll see her back in Paris.
- Later, Marinette is watching a news report about how the mayor has put forth action to undo what Robostus has done to Paris, going on about how Ladybug and Chat Noir were actually in New York helping out which explains where they went. Alya walks by and goes on about how everyone is waiting for Marinette for the surprise they planned for Adrien, her "friend" (yes, she literally did the airquotes again). Marinette sadly admits that she "doesn't know" (I presume this is referring to her feelings), which Alya brushes off as, "We're going back to Pairs tomorrow, you can ask yourself then." She grabs Marinette’s hands and leads her away.
- The surprise was them holding up a, "Coucou, Adrien!" sign on the news report (presumably from the friendship event thing?). Adrien smiles from his place on the plane and it cuts to fireworks over New York.
- Sabrina (standing next to the guy who winked and took her to the party earlier) tells Chloe how she's happy that Chloe is finally having fun now. Chloe denies it and says that she's just happy that they're leaving tomorrow.
- The scene cuts to Gorilla, still in the room listening to the relaxing voices+music from his device, then the scene cuts back to the fireworks again, now going off behind a French and American flag.
- Scene cuts again, this time to a car pulling into an alley. Four guys come out and one of them is lightly waving a hand fan. Uncanny and Eagle (yes, she's literally just "Eagle") are watching them (Eagle is twirling something on a string but I can't tell what it is; I presume it's her weapon, it's shaped like a small flute/whistle or something) when they hear a voice above them. The source of the voice (another man) shows up with a tan-ish Miracle Box (wooden design) and says that the miraculous must be returned to the box now that it's been found. He tells her that he's come a long way and that she should give it back without a fuss because he's not in the mood. Uncanny says "no" because Eagle's proven that she's worthy, after which Eagle hops up to the man and suggests that he stay so they can create a new generation of heroes together. The man smiles, perhaps intrigued(?).
- End special.
#category: salt#((because of my comments lol))#special: Miraculous New York#other: ask and answer#other: ml spoilers
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New Post has been published on http://www.lifehacker.guru/xoxo-what-does-your-email-sign-off-say-about-you/
“XOXO”: What Does Your Email Sign-Off Say About You?
Once, many moons ago, I was the managing editor of a small, biweekly political magazine run (mostly) by men. Closing the issue was a fortnightly ordeal in which I spent the afternoons and evenings harassing my colleagues, propelled by the quixotic hope that I could finish before the wee hours of the morning. A midnight stopping point was considered a triumph; more often I found myself staring down the single digits of the clock as the production manager and I huddled over the final proofs. I once walked three miles back to my apartment, unable to find a cab, at dawn. (It was the pre-Uber days.)
In these wee hours, my staff and I could get a little loopy. I nominally supervised a cohort of recent college grads, just a few years younger than I was at the time. In reality, I was more like a bossy older sister who required emails with very specific subject lines. (I had an issue to close! There was no slack.) When one of my ostensible subordinates, in the middle of one of those dazed late-night sessions, closed her email with an xoxo, she immediately followed it with another message to apologize . “I’m so sorry,” she wrote. “That is totally not something you write in a work email.”
I’ve been thinking back to this moment recently when I realized I was regularly deploying Gossip Girl’s preferred sign-off in my professional correspondence as a senior editor at Vogue, and that such liberal sprinklings of affection never would have entered my digital lexicon when I worked at the male-dominated political publication. Did my somewhat unlikely evolution into an editor at a fashion magazine sap my correspondence of its gravity? If Mike Pompeo’s recent email to his State Department employees is anything to go by—“Keep on crushing it”, he wrote—the penultimate line of an email is an opportunity for burly encouragement, not feminine demurral. Was each closing of my correspondence depleting the impact of everything that had come before?
Much has been written about the femininity of the exclamation point—make-nice punctuation that masks an emotional labor that falls disproportionately on women. “We expect exclamation marks (i.e., friendliness) from women,” wrote Amelia Tait in a 2017 piece published in The New Statesman, “and women add exclamation marks to live up to this expectation.” Is xoxo is the new exclamation point? I asked a friend who works in PR, someone who is paid professionally to play nice—and, coincidentally, works in a field dominated by women—if she uses xoxo in her email correspondence, and she wrote back with chipper pep: “Really funny you mention the xo, as I’ve recently noticed I’m using xx far more than I used to.” (She’d never use xoxo in a cold email to a stranger, she asserts, and limits herself to one exclamation point per email.) While more of a xx gal than the xoxo variety, Lynne Truss, author of Eats, Shoots & Leaves, perhaps the most popular book on punctuation ever written, also told me that she notes the tendency for physical symbols of affection in her woman-to-woman correspondence. “Thinking about it, I do notice when women don’t break out the x after a little while. I assume that the x is being deliberately withheld, and that they are telling me, ‘Let’s not get overfamiliar here.’” The pattern held when assessed from the other side: “The xo greeting is something I find unimaginable from a man,” said John McWhorter, a (male) linguist at Columbia University. “Or just maybe, it is conceivable from a gay man, but that means we are more precise and say that it is inconceivable of a straight male (cis male)?”
The idea that language is gendered has a long history, dating, most prominently, to linguist Robin Lakoff’s work in the 1970s, which asserted that gender-based differences between men’s and women’s speech resulted in power differentials. “The ultimate effect of these discrepancies is that women are systematically denied access to power, on the grounds that they are not capable of holding it as demonstrated by their linguistic behavior,” Lakoff wrote. That work has been criticized in the years that followed, but it’s also hard to ignore its impact. (See here, and here, and here for the endless fascination with the girlishness of the exclamation point.)
And something about Lakoff’s theory rings true for me in 2018 when I consider my reliance on xoxo. More recent research seems to show that women do behave differently in their email. At a New Zealand company studied in the grippingly titled Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, researchers found that women at one company were much more likely to act “polite” in email correspondence. Both men and women were equally inclined to include some kind of closing, but men were much more likely to use just their name, while women were almost twice as likely to include a “thanks” or other softening addition. (These findings didn’t hold across all companies; there’s a lot of variation due to workplace culture.)
When I asked a former boss who is a friend—a woman I admire for her forthright sensibility and voracious work ethic—if she uses xoxo, she was (characteristically) to the point: “If anything, as I’ve managed more people, and have to speak to men in positions of power, I’ve clipped my language a bit. Never xo. Instead, ‘Thanks’ or ‘Best.’” It was the inverse that proved my fears; arguably my most successful female friend had a deep-seated aversion to emailed hugs and kisses. Forget xoxoas the new exclamation point—was the email sign-off the new sparring ground for the battle of the sexes?
Time to consult the gendered-language grande dame herself. “Closings (ways of saying ‘goodbye’) are the trickiest points in a conversation, written or oral,” reminded Lackoff in an email. “You have to both get away and convince your addressee that you still like them and want to continue the relationship in the future.” Duly noted, but what does this mean for xoxo? Was I insecurely shouting “like me!” at the end of every missive in an effort to negotiate this tricky terrain like an eager-to-please woman? “I agree that it’s more apt to be used by women than men: We’re more comfortable expressing intimacy, real or conventional,” Lackoff wrote. “It isn’t that men are necessarily more cold or businesslike, but that they are apt to be more comfortable representing themselves that way rather than seemingly giving someone who might be a mere acquaintance a glimpse into their true selves. I think women are more comfortable seemingly erasing those boundaries.”
And there’s the rub—the feeling that my slide into this form of intimacy wasn’t altogether bad. Did I want always to conduct myself at work in a coolly professional way, or was I comfortable injecting some occasional levity—some affection—into my 9-to-5 transactions? It’s not that politics is all business and fashion is all fluff—not at all. As far as I know, the magazine I currently work for never closes in the early morning hours, and that’s entirely due to the culture of extreme efficiency that governs our every keystroke—x’s and o’s included. In greatly reductive terms: If the job gets done, why should I act more like a man? Wouldn’t it be acceptable to think that a man should act more like a woman?
Perhaps, as McWhorter suggested to me, the entire problem with my question is in thinking about xoxo or any phrase alongside a gender binary. There’s an ongoing quest, he reminded me, “to degender language usage completely”—hence them and they as nongender pronouns, and Latinx. “The guiding principle, though, is that changing language can only go so far,” he said. “As long as gender is a perceived binary, ways of indexing it in language will never die.”
As I was writing this piece, corresponding with sources and friends, I became acutely aware of how I was closing each email. I’d linger above my signature line, paralyzed by the message behind the message. Mostly I just concluded with “Thanks” and moved on to other things. But when informed, intelligent responses came back to me signed xoxo at the bottom, I had to smile.
(C)
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