#like how sweet he is
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the illness post is still getting notes (???!! <3) and that means people are still telling me to get better soon, which is really nice but im gonna be too powerful if i get any better
#IM STILL SHOCKED AT HOW WELL THAT POST IS DOING LIKE 150K????????? I LOVE EVERY ONE OF YOU#lady normalgirl and her eunuch#it is rlly sweet that everyone says get better soon but i posted that at the tail end of being sick so its also comedic LOL#the tags on these posts always feel super empty bc i dont use my usual art/fandom tags so im just gonna write some random shit#btw tucker can and does stand at windows like that#i have picture evidence#hes a very long boi#my doods
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SIGHHHH BSD REREAD…................I MISS THEM SO MUCH :(((
#if i catch anyone tagging this as a ship i will gut you like a fucking fish.#HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO DAZAI AND DAZAI ONLY. BTW#sorry for the inactivity i was busy flopping my ap’s🥰#no skk art from tumblr user lotus-pear after two weeks of not posting get PRANKED#anyway i was rereading the manga and i was struck once again by how father and son they are 😭😭😭😭😭#dazai calls him “kiddo” and “my boy” in the translation i was reading and it actually made me keel over and sob like he’s so sweet 🥺🥺🥺😭😭#actual crime they haven’t been reunited yet#switched up my coloring style a little bit bc why not#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#nakajima atsushi#atsushi nakajima#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#lotus draws
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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still i think the one of the more fun differences drawn between illario and lucanis that was lost would be illario's ability to endear himself to others but serious lack of empathy, vs. lucanis' (self perceived) inability to be charming but how much he cares. it's interesting that the game has gone with the "lucanis' ability vs illario's lack thereof" because i think illario being the dellamorte 'best in show dog' vs. lucanis' attack dog would have made me so unwell.
lucanis is... awkward. he's not unlikable, because he is usually very polite, but he doesn't speak much and only seems to care about the other dellamortes. he once sent viago de riva a knife with no note (who knows what he could have meant by this). he does what caterina asks of him, and by his own admission, cannot say no to her. he is a dramatic and prolific killer, and that makes how untouchable he is even worse.
and the crows like illario, sure, AND he's a good assassin! he's even a good crow! he's so good that he can make lucanis smile, and so he is the charming, sociable one. he's the one that stays in treviso and can be relied upon to care, illario's even the one people prefer over caterina and lucanis!
but illario is decoration. he's the prize poodle, and even if poodles were bred to be working dogs, nobody will ever pick him to protect the house over the german shepherd that regularly mauls intruders. anyways the analogy is getting away from me. the point i'm trying to make is that i want illario to have a different kind of jealousy/hatred that's not just over 'being bad at killing' but also an arrogant loathing for everyone around him that is getting harder to hide, because they've forgotten he can bite and is just itching to rip someone's jugular out. illario is very good at hiding his family resemblance to caterina, while lucanis suffers under his grandmother's, and his own, reputation.
#not helped that these ideas are probably fostered by caterina. she doesnt WANT lucanis to have FRIENDS she wants him to KILL THINGS lol#and her perceiving illario as someone who wants but wont rise against her would have been interesting#so she allows his charm and friendliness etc. because she wants him to ingratiate the house to other houses#she doesnt want him out the picture. she NEEDS him there to make people like lucanis. illario just isnt content with that#i will shut up about this. i promise.#like i wont. but im trying#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#and also i want illario to have a little more manipulative asshole going on he's not believable enough in game omg#i think the main issue i have is that lucanis should have . maybe. been a bit less agreeable. SORRY#but it would have been fun to see crow-like defensiveness slowly break away to reveal a caring polite and kind man#or at least a slow understanding of lucanis-language. like he said 'i dont care' but he meant 'i dont mind'#raised by a grieving and also repressed old italian woman will do this to you#thoo. i was pleasantly surprised at how sweet he was in the game to start but i think parallel wise this could have been fun is all#veilguard spoilers#dragon age#and also really sorry that this was brought upon by someone calling him a pursedog man in tags#which was very funny for 5 minutes and then i was like actually i can do something with this
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All he knows is flirt with men and lie.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#su she#jin guangyao#Jin Guangyao smelt the 'no one appreciates me' wafting off this guy and said 'is anyone else going to manipulate that to their benefit?'#Su minshan fans...I get it. He's so deep into his role as a pawn he thinks he might have a chance of being someone bigger in this game.#He does play a key role but he's never actually out of anyone's shadow! That's brutal!#JGY's manipulation games are always so fun to see in action. His words are his weapon!#He's getting verbally kicked around only to have someone acknowledge his achievements! Just like how NMJ did for JGY.#He is a master of honeyed words and gentle appreciations. His instrument is *your* heartstrings.#He might see himself in Su She; They both feel under valued and hungry for more importance -#-but it's also a means for JGY to know how to pull his strings.#(IN THIS MOMENT. I very much realize he does come to care for him later on.)#It is also funny how much his powerplays involve sweet talking men. Where did he learn that from?#(Most likely the brothels he grew up in. It's a kick in the gut once you see that link!)
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the way that one line from the new epilogue in an astarion romance is going to HAUNT me
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just. what a profoundly intense thing to confess to someone.
like, just these six months of newfound happiness with you exerts a force on his heart equal and in direct opposition to two centuries of endless torment, the gnawing hunger and exploitation. this flashbulb-bright fraction of his long life holds the same gravity to him as years upon years of darkness and suffering.
in all likelihood, he hasn’t even known his lover for as long as his worst memory lasted, that year sealed away to go mad from starvation and sensory deprivation, yet he still tells them this brief time has been so fundamentally and powerfully important that the weight of even that unimaginable hell is vanishingly small compared to this present he has now and the future ahead of them both.
how am i supposed to act normal about this.
#i need to lay down#just drop this in there right at the beginning why not!#that’s INTENSE. and completely sincere considering his demeanor at the party. god#he’s so… nice. in the romanced epilogue. i expected him to be a little smug and jokey#if tav told him the others weren’t doing so hot without the two of them around#but he takes it so genuinely and with visible disappointment?? literally shocked me#i thought he would say oh of course their lives have taken a turn without our impressive leadership lol!#and then redirect into something a little less flippant#but man. he just gets sad. astarion six months into a loving relationship is like a stray cat that instantly gets cuddly when you adopt it#dude went cotton candy marshmallow saccharine sweet in a HEARTBEAT#bless the others with your presence he says. i’ll always be here he says. we have forever after all he says.#head in my hands. how could they do this to me#astarion ancunin#astarion bg3#astarion#bg3 epilogue spoilers#bg3 spoilers#baldur’s gate 3 spoilers#bg3
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the strength it must have taken for illario to not immediately go full 'lmao since when have you even had a kiss hello lucanis' sibling violence mode during the café talk. inspirational. rook and lucanis really were doing all that right in front of his salad huh
#lucanis is being SO cringe with that line right out there in public and I would die for him. it's just such a weird thing to say#tbf if anyone in the world is used to the insane things lucanis says and would go 'yes yes lucanis waxing poetic about coffee#in ways normal people reserve for trying to get in someone's pants (the roast won't fuck you lucanis)#we've all heard it' like it's all normal I suppose it would be illario. and also he's too busy with the 'shit fuck shit he's not dead#he's not dead of the family members 'supposed' to be dead we're at two definite failures out of two and woe me if the twain should meet#if that IS a demon in there it sure talks exactly in the same bizarre way only my cousin does#does that mean anything what the fuck do I do who do I kill about this' internal monologue I guess#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I mean he does very much say that to a non-romancing rook too which only makes it all the more delightfully odd#is it a very lucaniscore way of testing the waters. is it just how he always talks about coffee. many plausible approaches here#no one forced him to bring up kisses and 'you should try it' out of the blue like that is all I'm saying. he could have acted normal#(theoretically)#i feel there are reasons to read some stuff into it lol#lucanis when rye says he prefers tea: it's so over cautious overture I don't quite understand myself yet gently rebuffed#lucanis when rye takes him up on the 'so what should a first kiss be' theme: oh we're so back!!!! wait. what. what do I do now#what is this#it's kind of really sweet that rook answers with their own playfully florid beverage based barely hidden metaphor at the end too#matching freaks and having fun with it#as far as lucanis is concerned rye's only true flaws are 1) prefers tea to coffee (oh well. no one can be perfect. cross-cultural love#can conquer all even in this) and 2) weird taste in interior design (did we really HAVE to bring your 15 foot tall corpse statues#with us home rook. I can understand a tasteful skull here and there but this seems excessive. well if it makes you happy I guess)
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Mothers and fuckers of the ketchup and mustard household (I'm going even more insane than usual)
#its not the fact that wade is touching logan. he does that all the time.#he does it all over#he'd do it all the time if he could#no sweet summer child#its the fact that logan didnt protest or remove wade's hand#not even that wade is cupping a feel. he can be perverted later#its the fact that logan is now a domesticated cat#we've been talking about how logan is physical touch love language AND touch starved?#look no further#deadpool 3#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wade wilson#wolverine#logan howlett#deadclaws#poolverine#deadpool 2024#i've seen my house dogs wag their tails when i reach out to them the same way#my house cats too#point is#logan is wade's scary dog privilege. except wade is debatably scarier.#logan is wade's little pet. his little bITCH (affectionately)#who's gonna tell logan things are going to be like this for the foreseeable future
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┐(´ー`)┌
#somethin i did last night nottt really sure if i like it. but#i messed with it 2 much to redo it so whatever#for you🤲🤲🤲🤲#like how i ranted about doing family friendly stuff abd then posted nap time the day after#my art#benrey#benry#gordon freeman#hlvrai#frenrey#benry apartment ❤️❤️he has a betta fish#they both drool . btw#dont read into the sweet voice colors in any of my art i mostly just use what i think looks cooollllllll#gordon#gordon feetman
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phil: whenever i see an ambulance, i like to think there is a baby being born, rather than a death (1, 2, 3)
#me trying to find that liveshow again and scrolling through. So Many tweets and posts sdjfs#anyways. found out that that particular 2013 quote got quoted A Lot and honestly as he should <33#like it's such a sweet sentiment and it's rlly the thing where it's like how is he even real sdjfs#his positive outlook on life is truly so inspiring <333#dan and phil#danisnotonfire#daniel howell#phil lester#amazingphil#dpgdaily#phan#dnp gifs#my gifs#compilation#dnp liveshows#Dan and Phil play: Your Tumblr in 2015#We're Moving Out#danandphilgames
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you know the plotline in funeral for a friend where lois breaks into cadmus after finding out they stole clark's body, and she's pissed and grieving and so angry that they'd desecrate him in death?
i keep thinking idly about like. some au where in that process, she not only found clark's body strapped onto a lab table and hooked up to computers for all sorts of analysis, but also... she found the results of that research.
like. she's not thinking about secret identities or how to explain her sudden acquisition of a little guy. she just saw a little guy with clark's face in a tube, after being furious beyond measure about the theft and desecration of clark's body. she wasn't thinking about next steps. she just lost her shit and acted. only stopped to think about it later...
... i.e., lois phoning up ma and pa like haha. remember how we were just talking about how ill never get to marry clark and you'll never have grandkids and all that? um. well. there may have been. a development. WHAT? no!!! im not pregnant!! it's. uhhhhh it's. a lot more complicated than that?
ma on the phone: what do you mean? can you start at the beginning, dear?
lois, panicking: What Do You Do With A Child. Teenager. Person. Guy.
anyway here's how conner lane can still win,
#rimi talks#it changes so much of kon's story if he isn't alone at first#but during my recent rots reread i just kept wondering like. where is he sleeping?? where is he getting food???#when he fights those guys on easy street and they burn his jacket he's like that's my only jacket!!!#LIKE WHERE IS HE LIVING HOW IS HE LIVING. IM WORRIED ABOUT HIM#bibbo should've kept him hfdhfgjjtr#but. anyway. i want to see him imprint on lois like a baby duckling#i think it would be funny but also so sweet and also heartbreaking in comparison to canon#how WOULD she explain the sudden teenager acquisition? oh you know#lois#kon
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I feel like it’s probably been said before but honestly it was iconic of Andrew to say he wouldn’t wish Neil on anyone but a mortician, that’s some ‘til death do us part ass bullshit just aggressive and emotionally stunted
#aftg#andrew minyard#neil josten#andriel#they make me sick#how are these bastards in such a loving sweet relationship#putting them in a jar and shaking it like a snowglobe <3#the fact that he says it so so early too like sir your crush is embarrassing#feverdreamsandlucidnightmares
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i love your riddle design so much, he's so pointy and british. so gracious. do you think he would enjoy a brazilian goiabada
thank you! ❤️🖤❤️ it's just. important to me on a level I can't explain that Riddle have an extremely pointy nose that he can stick into everyone else's business.
also goiabada is sweet and fruity and red, I think he would like it very much indeed!
not me stealth-editing because I forgot his antenna whoops
#art#twisted wonderland#me: riddle's nose is important to me (draws him without a nose)#a study in contrasts?#regardless it is my power as a fanartist to let riddle eat sweets and by god i'm going to use it#i also love british riddle. briddle. it's just RIGHT.#i think about how someday the anime will come out and get dubbed and riddle is going to have Generic Anime Boy Voice#instead of the most over-the-top prim little benedict cumberbatch accent like he does in my HEART#and the world shall be poorer for it. alas.#i also think it would be VERY funny if malleus had a super exaggerated french accent because something something french fairytale#i am probably alone in this however#(sorry still trying to catch up on everything!)#(all of my focus has been going towards Deadlines so hopefully i will have space to think...eventually :')#(i still have some main story things cookin' and i JUST finished tsumsted 3: the squeakquel so uhhh)#(there may be a bit of a flood at some point. you've been warned.)
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illario as the grandchild that is most like caterina is something i'm loving to chew on. the grandson that took her lessons to heart the most. kill anyone who sees your face and knows your name, "we are not revolutionaries", the first out of the two to prioritise the contract. power at any cost, and the only one to lean into the unnecessary abuse that their grandmother told them was tradition. why is anyone surprised he allied with the venatori? and then there's illario's considerable skill in infiltration and manipulating any mark, he has always had the charisma that lucanis lacked. illario isn't attached, he has/can/will use someone and immediately drop them; "that does free me from promises i don't intend to keep". he can lie about how much he cares so well that he fools a magister into believing he loves her. he kills zara without hesitation to cover his own tracks, meanwhile lucanis blindly promises a young girl in the middle of a siege that he will help her find her father. even the lessons about family stick with him, and in this entire messy power struggle, he never actually orders anyone to directly kill caterina or lucanis, not until he's backed into a corner.
and even after all that. despite even lucanis believing illario should be first talon, lucanis is still the better killer. illario is not strong enough to be the brutal assassin caterina needs him to be. so when lucanis seems to fill the role his mother left, grief and love for her dead heir apparent remains, and any of the other qualities caterina needs in her next talon doesn't matter. whatever his mother was, lucanis has to be. what illario does doesn't matter, because he will always be second best to caterina's memory of her favored daughter.
#<- guy who's only seen succession: this is just like shiv and logan#last point is kind of meta and hcish. idk how much caterina cared about her children and lucanis' mother. grain of salt everyone#but it would make sense to me. woman projecting her grief so hard it fucks up the next generation#at the end of the day realistically the best person to lead this criminal organisation is the sweet talker with no morals#who can rally their assassins and negotiate his way out of anything#not lucanis 'this crow has a heart' dellamorte. who i think would also be a fairer leader but#well. his leadership style would take a decidedly different turn. is that something he can afford as first talon??? like you know.#THE ASSASSIN GUILD? WITH THE VERY BLEAK HISTORY? 'WE'RE NOT HEROES ANYWHERE COUSIN' ?????#LED BY LUCANIS 'would rather endanger the mission than kill innocents' DELLAMORTE !!!!?#i would be less weird about it if the game acknowledged he's a 'kind' crow more explicitly and like#how this would change the crows. but realistically. and biasedly. i think illario makes a better (more morally grey too) talon#and also zevran should be here#anyways. im normal.#illario dellamorte#caterina dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#dav spoilers#dav#edit: NOTE I AM SAYING ILLARIO MAKES. A BETTER TALON AND NOT A GOOD ONE#his number one dickriding glazer but i would not go that far. sorry babe.
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chivalry isn't dead <3
#theres something so sweet about this???#like yes he could obviously get up on his own but how could i possible let him do that when im right here?#ready and waiting to serve him??#i was going to gif this but i actually prefer the video#2360#leafs lb#toronto maple leafs#joseph woll#matthew knies#*
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I love your art, and I really love how you did him, he's such a guy (he's my fav 💜)
I HONESTLY didn’t expect such a big reaction to the silly way I decided to draw Withered Bonnie this time, but so many of yall clocked it LMAO
#ask reply#IM GLAD YOU LIKE HIM BTW!#for context I drew him more boxy for fun#I thought it added to the joke he’s kinda just stand offish#dude is a tall brick of a guy#it’s similar to how I draw pixel Michael sometimes#just different shape language#so he was rounded and happy with Abby#more boxed and sharp with the toys#I think it’s silly#AGAIN I didn’t expect so many people to notice the difference but I’m sorta flattered too#like yall know how my arts look and how I draw certain characters#it’s sweet and ohh ohh the fear of being perceived and known LMAO#love yall tho 💜
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