#like how roxas xion axel needed the recusant sigil to bring roxas back

[burnthybread]

my theory is that the cost Sora paid to use the power of waking was his capital c Connection with riku and that’ll be shown in his inability to summon his half of the gayblade

[nadziejastar]

If you could imagine what Lea and Isa happy ending would have become in KH3, what would it look like?

The fic I’m writing currently will be about 15 chapters, then it will lead into Lea and Isa’s story in KH3. After I finish my current fic about Lea and Isa’s past, I wanna do a shorter fic that rewrites the final battle with Saix and incorporates Lea using the power of waking on him. Here’s how I would do it:

Lea and Kairi have their battle with Saix. Roxas and Xion don’t steal all the spotlight. Kairi doesn’t get kidnapped. Xemnas attacks Lea, but Isa defends him in his berserk state. Afterwards, he doesn’t disappear. IMO, he wasn’t a Nobody like Demyx, Luxord, Larxene, and Marluxia. He was retrieved for the new Org. XIII after he was recompleted, right? He was like Braig, but he just never woke up. That means he was like Terra. His heart was captured and never returned to his body, even after he was recompleted. So even when he’s defeated, he’d still be there. Braig commits suicide. Isa would be asleep, like Terra.

Then there’d be the battle in the graveyard. Everyone, including Kairi, are there. They defeat all the monsters (Heartless, Nobodies, Unversed). Afterwards, Ventus and Lea are asleep since they’re using the power of waking on Terra and Isa. Then the Demon Tide shows up. Sora brings everyone back individually with the power of waking. Kairi saves him. Then everyone is reunited. Terra, Aqua, Ven have their reunion. And Lea and Isa have theirs. The music would be “Eternal Moments”. It’d be a tearful reunion, I’m sure.

Lea and Isa should have gotten a scene in the epilogue where they return home, to Radiant Garden. Other than that, I would have been satisfied with the canon ending and epilogue. I don’t think there was really a problem with Lea and Isa’s role in them (just replace Roxas and Xion with Ven and Kairi). The problem was that Isa’s presence in the ending and epilogue didn’t feel meaningful like it should have, because his story and character were left so underdeveloped (wasted, honestly). To have a good ending, you need a good story building up to it.

The ending of KH3 was written, no doubt, many years ago, with Isa’s rescue already in mind. That’s why it felt so weird. In canon, it’s like, “why is Saix here again”? Saix didn’t belong in the ending. But Isa was supposed to fit in just as much as Terra. His rescue was supposed to be a really big deal for Lea’s story. The ending and epilogue were planned looong in advance and should have felt very meaningful and well-written.

Day 96 was one of the most important days in the game for Axel’s development. He was depressed, even when Xion got her Keyblade back. And judging by the report, it had to do with Saix. What really got Axel down was when Xion thanked him. He got depressed and asked for an ice cream to call it even. Then he said that they’d never be apart as long as they remembered each other. 

Roxas and Xion laughed at Axel because they had no idea what he was feeling that day. The whole point of that day was that he missed Isa. Isa giving Lea the ice cream on the clock tower in the epilogue was supposed to be a lot more significant than it was. I think it was supposed to be a symbol of his gratitude to Lea for saving him. 

Then they go to the beach and play with the frisbees that Lea had as a kid, which is perfect. I also think Isa being there was supposed to be very significant. IMO, the only reason Axel suggested the beach with Roxas and Xion was because he wanted to go there there with Isa in the past, but never got the chance.

All in all, what made Lea and Isa’s ending in KH3 so unsatisfying was the lack of genuine emotion their reconciliation had. When Axel said “let’s meet again in the next life”, I’m sure the person he first said that to was not to Roxas, but Isa. And in the ending, that’s exactly what they should have been doing. Isa would be reborn and they’d finally meet again for the first time since they were kids. 

Xehanort: “X”… A most ancient letter. Some say “kye,” but the meaning is the same. Death… A letter that spells endings.

This is what BBS was all about. The Recusant’s Sigil means death and endings. TAV were all “dead”. Saix is the one character who personifies the Recusant’s Sigil the most. It’s carved on his face.

Ansem: So many are still waiting for their new beginning, their birth by sleep.

The power of waking (a birth by sleep) is giving the character new life. A new beginning. Lea’s reunion with Isa should have felt like a totally new beginning---like he was meeting someone who was back from the dead. The problem wasn’t the ending, but the (lack of) story building up to it.

[nadziejastar]

Prehaps the worst argument I've seen against the idea of Lea and Isa being test subjects is "Why would they agree to join after going through something like that?" Because as we all know, Organization XIII is full of fine, upstanding people who would never force kids to work for them, let alone their victims into servitude.

Young Xehanort: See? That sigil, the X, it tells us where you are at all times.

Yeah, that is a pretty ridiculous argument that is easily refuted. I mean, Isa has a Recusant’s Sigil on his face. He had no way of escaping. I’m positive that Axel was experiencing deja vu when Roxas and Xion were talking about just running off somewhere to get away from the organization. I’m sure he and Isa tried to do the same thing. Of course, they couldn’t.

Why would they need to brand Isa if he was joined willingly? They didn’t need to brand Braig. Sora was branded, though. Hmm, I wonder why. As for Axel, I can think of a very simple reason why he joined. He wanted to bring his friend back. Simple as that. He gave himself upside-down tears as a symbol of his decision to give up his heart and do all of the dirty work. He was planning to take over the organization with Saix, and was prepared to kill anyone in his way. Why would Xehanort let Lea join? He was not a Nort, like Isa. And he was obviously not loyal.

Saïx: You're the fire that feeds Sora's anger.

The same reason the organization kidnapped Kairi. Lea was the “fire” that fed Isa’s anger. Isa is a naturally serene person. He would only give in to rage and go berserk if it involved Lea. Isa could be controlled if Lea was around, too.

Specifically, though, Sora's Anti Form has more feral behavior in which it runs about on all fours, and instead of using the Keyblade in this form, Sora attacks with claws on his hands. When hanging from a ledge, Sora will hang upside down from his foot, in a manner that reflects Anti Form's feral nature. Aesthetically, Sora's skin and hair become ink black, his eyes glow yellow like a Heartless, and his clothes become black with blue and gray accents. Furthermore, he constantly emits Darkness from his arms and back in the form of misty black and violet wisps. In addition to this, his feral appearance and method of attacking largely resembles a Neoshadow in height and methods of using claws as opposed to fists or a Keyblade. Both sport blue accents visibly seen on their bodies as Sora has dark blue accents on his clothes just as the Neoshadow has dark blue veins on it's body.

You ever notice how Saix’s berserk form has yellow eyes, like the Heartless or Anti-form? Anti-Sora is described as “feral”. And what’s more feral than Saix’s berserk state, which is compared to a werewolf? 

Axel and Saix tried to turn Sora into a Heartless, using the person who was most important to him. They both knew exactly what to do to control Sora. Saix knew exactly what Axel was planning to do to bring Roxas back, which is why he knew that Axel would go after Kairi. It seems to me that they both had experience with the organization’s dirty tactics. The organization did the same thing with Lea and Isa.

[nadziejastar]

Thoughts on the Power of Waking (Part 2)

Lea and Isa

Axel: Hey, Roxas. Bet you don't know why the sun sets red. You see, light is made up of lots of colors. And out of all those colors, red is the one that travels the farthest.

All the characters had their development ruined in KH3, but Lea and Isa’s subplot was handled the worst BY FAR. It’s really sad because it had the potential to be the most beautiful of them all, since their relationship was the most in need of a rebirth. I was very impressed with the amount of emotion Axel’s Japanese voice actor put into this scene about the sunset. Axel was clearly remembering his past when he was saying this to Roxas. 

Mickey: There's something real strong that binds us to each other. Even in the darkness, you can reach him. All you gotta do is follow that connection!

Isa was lost in the darkness, but Lea’s light could reach him, since red light travels the farthest. And whaddaya know, Lea also got randomly knocked unconscious about the same time Ventus did, right before the Demon Tide swallowed everyone up. Well, that’s because Ventus and Lea were supposed to be using the power of waking on Terra and Isa.

Xemnas: The time has arrived. Look to the skies! There hangs the heart of all hearts--Kingdom Hearts--shining down on us at last. See the countless hearts that have gathered? Hearts full of rage...hate...sadness...and bliss. There, in the sky, hangs the promise of a new world. My friends! Remember why we have organized--all the things we hope to achieve. The strength of the human heart is vast. Soon, though...we will have gained power over it! Never again will it...have power over us.

Lea’s light was the sun. Isa’s light was the moon, but that light has been corrupted. Xemnas was using the moon’s light to have power over people’s hearts. And Isa was one of those people. Isa was NOT Saïx. That was the ENTIRE POINT of Lea’s character arc. 

Chirithy: The edges of sleep and death touch, and one can’t help the occasional crossover. Something is holding you here---refusing to let you go. You’re hanging by a thread.

The power of waking is, at its core, the power to bring a person back to life. The edges of sleep and death touch. Isa did not need to atone. He needed to be resurrected. 

Axel: So you don't need a heart to have something that you can't bear to lose then. If that's true, then I guess the closest thing that we Nobodies have would be memories of our past. You know, memories of the stuff we couldn't bear to lose, back when we couldn't bear to lose it.

Isa was originally written as a character who was extremely important to Lea.  Axel cherished his memories of him more than anything else. He wanted to save him so badly it led to him summoning his Keyblade. He couldn’t bear to lose him. In Luxord’s deck, both The Sun and The Moon are shaped like the Four of Pentacles. This card shows a man desperately clinging to a coin, as if his life depended on it. It represents that you are holding onto something tightly and have an inability to let it go. This could be money, possessions, or relationships. It only makes sense that Isa was not present in Saïx. He was in the Final World. He was just barely clinging to the Realm of Light. He almost passed on to the other side for good. Lea was the only reason he didn’t. 

Rabbit in the Moon Legend

Three immortals reincarnated themselves into three poor old people and begged for food from a fox, a monkey and a rabbit. The fox and monkey both gave food to the immortals. However, the rabbit did not have any food. It then said to the immortals: “you can eat me” and jumped into the fire. The immortals were so moved by the rabbit and sent it to the moon to become an immortal jade rabbit. Ever since, the Chinese jade rabbit stayed in the Moon Palace to accompany Chang’e and pounded immortal medicine for those living in heaven.

After it was decided that Lea would become a Guardian of Light, his entire character arc---from the ground up---revolved around ISA. That’s why both of their characters featured the themes of “immortality” and “rebirth”. That’s who Axel’s line about the red sunset was written for. Even the waning crescent on Isa’s jacket fits this theme. It’s the final phase of the moon, representing the end of a cycle, before a new one begins. The sun dies and is resurrected every morning. By taking the focus off of Isa, you totally RUIN Lea’s character development. No Isa, no character arc for Lea. Period. End of discussion.

The Phoenix Myth

The phoenix is a legendary bird mentioned in Greek, Roman, and Egyptian mythology. According to ancient writers, the phoenix lived for 500 years, then died and was reborn. It had brilliant golden and scarlet feathers and grew to the size of an eagle. Just before dying, the phoenix built a nest of fragrant herbs and spices, including cinnamon and myrrh. Then it burned itself on a funeral pyre ignited by the sun and fanned by its own wings. It then rises from the ashes with renewed youth to live through another cycle. The phoenix is associated with immortality and resurrection.

Isa was the one who Lea was supposed to be trying to save in KH3. Not Roxas. Not Xion. Not anybody else. ISA. That is the entire reason he was created. Roxas (Ventus) was going to be saved by Aqua. Lea needed someone to give HIS character arc emotional depth. The setup was SOOO perfect. These two characters---more than ANYONE else---had their entire relationship revolve around the power of waking. Nobody in their right mind would just throw all of this away on a whim to make them apprentices. No fucking way I can believe that. This was all thrown away because the story got botched beyond repair. I’m sure it broke Nomura’s heart.

Lea: I want everybody I meet to remember me. Inside people's memories, I can live forever.

Isa: I know I won't forget you. Believe me, I try all the time.

Lea: See, I'm immortal!

The Phoenix is a symbol of the Philosopher’s Stone. Many don’t realize that the creation of the Philosopher’s Stone is also represented by the union of the sun and moon. The White Stone actually becomes the Philosopher’s Stone when it turns red. Lea didn’t just need to be reborn. He needed to resurrect someone else, too. That red light needed to reach them and grant them new life and immortality.

Ansem the Wise: So many are still waiting for their new beginning, their birth by sleep. Even me...and even you.

The Moon represents “rest, retreat, anticipation, preparation, and dreams”. It really was too perfect for the Realm of Sleep, Final World, and power of waking subplot. If there was a single character who personified the idea of “birth by sleep,” it was Isa. No contest. Again, you would be out of your mind to throw this away and make him an apprentice.

Stage 1: Nigredo (Black)

Axel: Nothing lasts forever, man. Least of all for a bunch of Nobodies. But you know, we'll still have each other...even if things change and we can't do this anymore.

Roxas: Yeah?

Axel: As long as we remember each other, we'll never be apart. Got it memorized?

The Philosopher’s Stone is created in four stages. The first stage is death. That’s what Lea and Isa’s entire story was about. Their relationship DIED. The Recusant’s Sigil means “death” and “endings”. Lea happily said he wanted to live forever. But Axel sadly said that nothing lasts forever. And he had his friendship with Isa in mind when he said it.

Stage 2: Albedo (White)

Naminé: We don’t disappear… we’re only reborn.

Axel: I’m not like you and Roxas.

Naminé: But—but you…

Axel: It’s because I don’t have a heart. I don’t want to disappear, but I’m not upset or sad about it.

The red and white opposites have to undergo a greater separation before they can achieve their final union.

Saïx: He won nothing and is nothing. He couldn't stand the emptiness of being without a heart, and that led to his demise. He was foolish and weak.

Axel and Saïx’s relationship in KH2 was all about driving them as far apart as possible, so that when Lea and Isa eventually come together again, it would be that much more rewarding.

Stage 3: Citrinitas (Yellow)

Axel: Love is what happens if there's something really special between two people.

Roxas: You mean, like, if they're best friends?

Axel: Well, you can care about your friends, I guess, but that's not what I'm talking about.

Xemnas wanted the light of Kingdom Hearts to enslave people in darkness. Axel wanted the light of Kingdom Hearts to experience love. I absolutely think that Lea and Isa were envisioned as having romantic feelings for each other. And I definitely think Axel was speaking from personal experience here, because he was in love with Isa. This probably would have only been subtly hinted, and never overt. But the reconciliation between Lea and Isa was not supposed to so...casual, like it was in KH3. It was supposed to be magnificent and glorious, like the Phoenix rising from the ashes.

Stage 4: Rubedo (Red)

Roxas: You made us a promise.

Axel: I did?

Roxas: That you'd always be there...to bring us back.

Axel: Yeah...

Roxas: Got it memorized?

Axel: Best friends forever.

All the games leading to KH3 had Isa as the foundation of Lea’s character arc. BBS showed how their friendship was alive and thriving in the past. Re:CoM was when Axel’s sleeping memories started to awaken. Days showed how their relationship was dead, existing only in memory. KH3D showed Lea trying to resurrect it. Axel went out in a blaze of glory at the end of KH2 and was born again as Lea. As soon as he was reborn he went to look for Isa. He promised he’d always bring his friends back. Then out of nowhere, Isa became a total afterthought. That’s...not how humans operate.

A promise… We’ll meet again…in the next life. We did say that. I remember. I remember our promise.

I also think Lea made Isa another promise, which was to be the cornerstone of their shared subplot, which revolved around the themes of rebirth and immortality. The Phoenix symbolizes the liberation of the spirit. Isa’s heart was captured, and Lea needed to liberate it. His Keyblade was called “Flame Liberator”. Isa was waiting for Lea in the next life, in the Final World. But Lea couldn’t let him go, and brought him back to the Realm of Light. They kept their promise. Giving Isa a birth by sleep would have given Lea an incredible character arc. It greatly saddens me that he didn’t get that. Practically all the emotion was sucked out of his story. Lea is mostly remembered in KH3 for...breaking the fourth wall. That is a damn shame.

[nadziejastar]

Naminé: Some people think pain is something you can just wipe away–and sometimes, maybe, you can. But not all pain can be erased. The only way to deal with it is to accept it head-on. And if the hurt is too great for you to bear it alone–well, then you turn to a friend close to your heart.

Well, the whole point of the power of waking was supposed to be that it’s the most powerful form of healing that there is. It allows someone to spiritually heal from all the abuse they’ve suffered. That’s the only way to wake someone up from sleep. If they’ve gone through too much torment, they enter the Realm of Sleep and exist outside of time without any conscious awareness. They can’t cope with that much pain on their own. 

It wasn’t supposed to be about time travel or instantly bringing someone back from the dead. It was supposed to be about intimately connecting with a person’s heart and helping them overcome the intense pain that caused their psyche to fracture. It’s essentially a miraculous power that is akin to a near death experience. You see the light, feel the intense love that the person has for you, and are never quite the same afterwards. It transforms you from the inside out. That’s why Sora needed to acquire this ability and why it was so important to the story (originally).

Riku: You okay? Feeling all right?

Sora: Yeah, I’ve never been better. I was watching what was going on in my dream. And I could hear your voice the whole time. Thanks, Riku. Thanks, everybody!

Terra has been through similar abuse to Isa. When he was saved, he said the same thing Sora did after Riku used the power of waking on him. He heard Ven’s voice in his dream. Presumably, Terra also felt better than ever after he woke up. The problem was that KH3 eliminated the power of waking. We didn’t see Terra get healed. Ventus was supposed to dive into his heart, defeat the nightmares that were imprisoning him and guide him back into the light using the power of their hearts’ connection. 

All of Terra’s inner darkness—all of his shame, hatred, and despair would be confronted head-on, like Aqua’s was when her shadow was fought. KH3 was supposed to show that love has the power to heal the deepest wounds. And Ventus loved Terra like a brother. This would make it so that Terra wasn’t a broken person after he woke up. He’d always carry his past, but he’d essentially be the same guy as before and be able to live a normal and happy life.

"Their hurting will be mended when you return to end it."

The same would have been true for Isa. Saïx has two weapons that are shaped like a Reiki pose and a Reiki angel. Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by “laying on hands” and is based on the idea that an unseen “life force energy” flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one’s “life force energy” is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy.

The word Reiki is made of two Japanese words - Rei which means “God’s Wisdom or the Higher Power” and Ki which is “life force energy”. So Reiki is actually “spiritually guided life force energy.” A treatment feels like a wonderful glowing radiance that flows through and around you. Reiki treats the whole person including body, emotions, mind and spirit creating many beneficial effects that include relaxation and feelings of peace, security and well-being. Many have reported miraculous results.

Axel: Hey, Roxas. Bet you don't know why the sun sets red. You see, light is made up of lots of colors. And out of all those colors, red is the one that travels the farthest.

Reiki involves activating all of the chakras. There are 7 chakras with each one colored after the 7 colors of the rainbow. There are 7 Guardians of Light. That’s why the red sunset was so significant. Red light can penetrate the deepest darkness. Saïx’s weapon shaped like Reiki is named “Light Year”. And it’s part of Hazard Gear, which is the same as “The Sun” in Luxord’s deck. The other weapon “Luminary” is the same gear as “The Moon”. The Moon card represents fear, anxiety, and the subconscious.

The Sun card represents warmth, success, abundance, and radiance. Because of your own personal fulfillment, you provide others with inspiration and joy as well. You radiate love and affection towards those you care about the most. Both The Sun and The Moon are shaped like The 4 of Coins. This card can indicate that you are clinging to people, possessions, situations or past issues. You are trying to hold onto what you have and not let go. This interpretation can apply to not just physical things, but also emotional things like relationships. The whole idea was that Lea was supposed to heal Isa. And the strength of their bond was so great, it could even heal someone as messed up as him.

Sora: It'll bring us closer together; the hurt will only make us stronger.

“The Devil” is Rage Gear in Luxord’s deck and has a Recusant’s Sigil on it. Saïx’s weapon in this category is called “King of the Night”. It’s a reference to the Red King of alchemy. Queen of the Night is a white flower that blooms under a full moon. The Red King and White Queen are alchemical allegories, and their union represents the process of uniting opposites to create a greater, fully unified product of that union.

The Devil card represents your shadow side and the negative forces that constrain you and hold you back from being the best version of yourself. Feelings of entrapment, emptiness and lack of fulfillment in your life. The Ten of Coins deals with permanence and satisfaction. The card shows that everything you have put your efforts into for a long time will pay off in the future. Everything will work out well in the end, for you have always kept the long term picture in view, choosing to take no shortcuts. The path to get there has been filled with setbacks and challenges, making this point of the journey even sweeter. It’s the ultimate happy ending card.

“But I’ve heard him say fighting wasn’t his thing.” Roxas briefly pondered that and went on quietly, “I guess everyone in the Organization is good at different things.” That had to be true, Xion realized. They were all Nobodies, and yet, none of them were alike, not in appearance or personality.

“Right,” said Axel. “Everyone’s unique.”

“But how?” Xion wondered. “We’re Nobodies. Don’t you need a heart to be unique?”

“Oh, we have other things that set us apart. Like memories from before.”

I do think Isa was a gentle and kind person. I think his gentle personality is probably what got him turned into a vessel. It caused him to mentally break after being abused so badly. If he were to be revived, he’d have to confront all of the abuse he suffered. I think that would have played out while Lea used the power of waking on him. If Isa was restored post-KH3, I think he’d have the same overall personality as he did before his abuse, like Terra, Aqua, and Ven do. But all of that trauma would have to be dealt with.

Saïx didn’t understand that. Despite the lack of a heart, he could imagine what it was like to have emotional responses based on what he remembered from his human life. And he must be able to remember how much trouble it was.

And clearly there was a lot of trauma. There would be rage, despair, and probably jealousy due to the fact that Axel didn’t know that Isa was possessed and alienated Saïx in favor is Roxas and Xion. His heart would feel abandoned and hurt. I don’t think Saïx is a reflection of who Isa was at all and I feel bad that his character got treated with such little empathy or compassion by the story and most of the fandom. It always astounded me how so many fans treated Isa like he was simply a bad friend that Axel had a falling out with, instead of recognizing that he was possessed. 

“You made it back in one piece, didn’t you?”

Were you worried I wouldn’t? Axel almost said, but he didn’t want to deal with putting him in an even fouler mood. Disgust and rage seemed to linger closest to the surface of Saïx’s memories.

It was laughable that KH3 just tried to write him as a normal guy who was a maybe a wee bit on the callous side. And since he helped Roxas and Xion come back, everything was totally fine. Um, no. He was not normal in any way, shape, or form. You can’t make some Nobodies act like Luxord, Axel or Demyx, and then have Saïx act the way he does without giving an explanation. Especially since Isa was a normal kid. None of the other Organization members (besides Xemnas) acted psychotic or demonic like Saïx did. His Japanese title was “Demoniac Dancing in the Moon”. Isa was a rabbit and Saïx is a Werewolf. After he got Norted, Isa’s heart was devoured by Xehanort’s heart. And probably the Lich. 

Each Nobody gets their personality—their abilities—from their memories of their time as humans. What are abilities, anyway? I wonder why they occur. When I think about it, the existence of memory is what comes to mind. We are bound according to those memories, and so, we get our abilities according to memories. 

He didn’t need to atone. He needed to be saved and healed. It was never disclosed what Axel’s past was like, what his most precious memories were, or what was actually done to Isa to create so many awful memories. So I guess Square/Disney thought people would be too dumb to notice that Isa was a victim. He was one of the most tortured and abused characters in the series. It’s why Axel was always so patient and understanding towards him, despite his awful attitude. Axel knew that Isa’s memories were so bad, he became “twisted”.

He’d never deluded himself that tracking down Riku would be easy, and neither had Saïx. It was just that if he went back and reported that he couldn’t find anything, he would have to deal with those attempts at “personality”—the sneers, the snide remarks, the only trappings of human emotion that Saïx ever showed. Not that Saïx was even capable of annoyance or disappointment, of course, what with the lack of a heart and all.

Heading up the slope to the station, Axel bit into the ice cream bar. “This stuff is so salty,” he murmured to himself, as he often did.

I think it’s really sad that Lea will also never heal from his pain, since the root cause of it all was what happened to Isa. It seems like the fandom thought all of his pain was due to losing Roxas, which was simply not true. I think both Lea and Isa would always be affected by the abuse they’ve suffered, just like TAV. It’s likely that Lea would always be unwilling to talk about his past with anyone except Isa. And it’s probably the same with Isa. It would always stay with them. But I think they would have helped each other heal and live happy lives. Unfortunately, neither of them got to heal, and the story is just going to pretend their pain never existed in the first place.

[nadziejastar]

You’re metas and analysis of Isa and Lea are amazing. And ty for standing up for Isa. Nobody tries to make distinction between his real self and the possessed emotionless puppet he was a Nobody. You actually made me like Isa, and I’m desperate for Lea/Isa content.

Aww, that makes me happy that you like Isa now. I absolutely adore the entire concept behind Isa. He was such a fascinating character, in theory. Everything about him was conceptualized to connect to the Realm of Sleep and the concepts of rebirth and love. It was incredibly unique and well thought out. It’s just such a shame that he was not utilized in any meaningful capacity. Like, how do you just waste such a perfect setup for an amazing story? How? Why? It just…kills me. Makes me question my faith in humanity, lol.

The fact that people don’t differentiate between Isa and Saïx is SO sad. That was the entire purpose of his character arc. KH3 was so unfair to poor Isa. It went against everything the series stood for. I honestly feel bad for the writers. They must have been so disappointed after they put so much thought into his and Lea’s story. Just the stuff they did with the moon impressed me so much.

Isa: The Moon Goddess of Love and Rebirth

The triple moon is a Goddess symbol that represents the Maiden, Mother, and Crone as the Crescent, Full, and Balsamic Moon. It is also associated with feminine energy, mystery and psychic abilities. You often see this symbol on crowns or other head-pieces, particularly worn by High Priestesses.

In the Maiden, Mother, Crone aspects of the Goddess, Selene is the mother Goddess, Artemis the maiden, and Hecate the Crone. Two of Saix’s weapons are named “Selene” and “Artemis”.

The Balsamic Moon phase is visible in pre-dawn twilight; the darkness is nearly complete. We begin the Balsamic Phase with just a thin sliver of light, and by the end of the phase, darkness is complete. We are approaching New Moon; this is the last waning phase. She has withdrawn into the darkness, leaving the night wrapped in shadows. Disappearing from sight, she is resting, preparing for the next Lunar Cycle.

Isa’s symbol is a waning crescent. But Balsamic is the term used in astrology/magic. It’s the last phase of the cycle before the darkness of the new moon, visible in twilight. I love this since sunset is also associated with twilight. Axel and Saix’s relationship is Days is in a state of twilight. It’s the time when it’s not quite day, but not quite night. Twilight is a period or state of obscurity, ambiguity, or gradual decline.

This is a time of quiet contemplation. We withdraw into the shadowy depths of thought and emotion, resting, reflecting, thinking, feeling, dreaming, and preparing. To a great degree we exist in the ‘invisible worlds’ of subconscious, spiritual realms, daydreaming, and our own inner depths. We are often consciously unaware - much is happening, yet it seems that nothing is happening. The past slips away, quietly into the night as the future slips in. While the Moon releases her current cycle, extinguishing the light and preparing for the next cycle, we too are releasing extinguishing and preparing; even if we don’t know it on a conscious level.

This is just…perfect for the Realm of Sleep storyline. Like, too perfect. This is what Saïx’s Mystery Gear was all about. Xemnas conducted mind control experiments, as a way to get a person to renounce their sense of self. This would allow them to be open to his heart, and he could turn them into another Xehanort. That was his entire goal in the Xehanort Saga. It’s exactly what the letter chi stands for, which inspired the Recusant’s Sigil. The scar symbolizes that Isa had to die for Saïx to exist as another self of Xehanort.

But the rabbit on the moon is a symbol of immortality. The Jade Rabbit was so selfless, he was willing to give up his life for a hungry beggar, who turned out to be the Lord of Heaven in disguise. In reward for his deed, he was taken to the moon to live forever. It’s also a symbol for people on Earth to look at, so they never forget the rabbit’s virtue.

During the experiments on the darkness of the heart, all the subjects suffered the collapse of their hearts. None could be used as vessels. The entire idea behind Subject X is that they were a unique specimen that did not collapse, unlike everyone else. This crescent phase of “Moon Rabbit” is used when Saïx is in his normal state. The rocket is taking Isa’s heart to the moon, where it will live forever. His love and selflessness will never be forgotten. But…it’s not there yet. The rabbit isn’t on the moon. It’s still on the way. But Axel doesn’t know this. That’s why it was called “Mystery Gear”. Of course “Moon Rabbit” feels totally at odds with Saïx’s personality. That’s the whole point.

New Moon is the phase of new beginnings. It is also called Dark Moon. You may not be aware you are beginning anything at all. In fact this is often a time with little conscious awareness of direction. This is a time of emotion, desire, and spontaneity. This is also considered to be a very powerful time to do “destructive magic”, like hexing and cursing.

Saïx’s first weapon in Days is called “New Moon”, and it is also perfect. It’s a new beginning, though not necessarily a happy one. “New Moon”, “Werewolf”, and “Berserk”  are all shaped like the alchemical symbol for antimony. The metal antimony symbolizes the animal nature or wild spirit of man and nature, and it was often symbolized by the wolf. In alchemy, it is thought that antimony has the ability to free gold from impurities, and the innate power to have a similar effect on humankind. Basically antimony is poison, but can be transmuted into pure medicine. And that’s exactly what Saïx needs. A transmutation.

Roxas: What’s it like having a best friend, Axel?

Axel: Couldn’t tell ya. I don’t have one.

Roxas: Oh…

Days completely revolves around two parallel stories. Pretty much everything Axel talks about with Roxas relates back to his past. When he teaches Roxas stuff, it’s almost always implied that he’s speaking from experience. You can tell he is here, because he gets so sad about not having a best friend. Obviously he was thinking of Saïx. And it’s like that for the entire game.

Xion: But you have memories, don’t you?

Axel: Yeah. Not that they’ve ever done me any good.

The entirety of Days takes place in this Dark Moon period of death and darkness. Isa has been banished with deconstructive magic. Isa was the Old Moon. Saïx is the New Moon, the Dark Moon. In his heart, Axel could tell that Isa and Saïx are two different people. He knew Isa’s heart was gone. And he was mourning a loss, just like a death. He was doing a lot of soul searching. He struggled with how to come to terms with his grief.

Lea: In memories, you live forever, you know?

Isa: Well, you may be a really small part of my memories, but at least you’ll never disappear.

Lea: I’m SO flattered.

The best thing he can come up with is to try viewing things from the perspective that he held in the past. If you exist inside of people’s memories, you can live forever. He may have to let go of any hope that Saïx will be his best friend ever again. But he can still hold onto the fond memories of Isa. Those memories can stay separated from the negative memories of Saïx. They can remain pure and undefiled in his heart forever. Isa said that Lea would never disappear from his memories. As long as Axel remembers THAT Isa, he will live forever.

Gibbous is when the moon is nearly full. Nearly, but not quite. We are poised and ready, the goal is so near we can almost touch it, almost reach it. So very close, but not quite, not yet. The Gibbous Phase holds a great deal of power and potential. It may take some patience and determination to tap into it. We find ourselves at the precarious point of being very close to a goal. This phase is about refining, fine-tuning, and tuning in. What you have begun may seem ready, but it can be better.

“Crescent” and “Gibbous” have a similar shape to Lea’s Keyblade.

Challenges, really, are always opportunities in disguise. But this is more true than ever during the Gibbous Phase. When you find yourself encountering glitches in your plans, realize that it is fortunate they were discovered at this stage, and most likely the result will be improving and enriching your endeavors. Impatience is so strong you can feel it in the air during Gibbous Phase. Yet patience is one of your best allies. It will come. It will be soon.

In magical terms, these phases are about breaking hexes, and using constructive magic to attract the things you want.

The level of energy is higher on Full Moon than any other time of the month. We see it, feel it, and sense it. We feel our own power, and the power of the world around us. The moon is the natural astrological ruler of emotions. When she is riding high, so are our emotions. We aren’t happy, we’re elated; we aren’t mad, we’re furious; we aren’t interested, we’re excited; we aren’t sad, we’re depressed. There is an out-of-control tendency that can make it difficult to harness this energy. This is a powerful time, of excess and extremes, which can manifest in a positive or negative way.

And of course, the moon is what breaks Saïx’s icy calm. The Full Moon can bring out the very worst emotions from a person’s subconscious. And during the final battle, Kingdom Hearts is a big Full Moon.

The Balsamic Moon Phase is a time for acceptance and release. What has gone too far to be repairable, we must let go of. The Moon is now retreating into the shadows, withdrawing into herself, resting and preparing to come back strong and vibrant in the next cycle. This is the time we should be preparing ourselves to be refreshed and ready for great momentum and new growth to come.

“Balsamic” is a weapon similarly shaped to triple goddess symbols. The Balsamic phase describes Isa’s story so perfectly.  He disappeared into the darkness of sleep.

This phase of the waning Moon is particularly good for final endings. Anything you don’t want to return - now is the time. We must have faith in ourselves, and the natural cycle, knowing what we let go of now will be reborn. We are making way for something new, releasing emotions and beginning healing…

But “Balsamic” is Crisis Gear. Saïx gets this weapon after he gets the Phoenix-shaped ones. This time it refers to the end of a different phase. The painful phase of the Dark Moon. I think this was meant to represent the time after Saïx is defeated, but before Lea uses the power of waking. I’m sure he wouldn’t know how to use it immediately. The purple aura symbolizes spirituality. But a black aura symbolizes long-term grief.

The Sun illuminates the Moon; she transforms and reflects his light upon the Earth. The illuminated Earth transforms and reflects her light, producing a mystical, silvery glow. These energies of illumination and reflection are ingrained into the phase of Full Moon. We reflect upon our lives and selves, we see more deeply into our own souls, as well as others. We are drawn to the illusive and mysterious.

The Full Moon is when the moon fully reflects the sun’s light. The moon’s energy is at its peak, so it can bring out the worst emotions. On the other hand, due to its power, it is also good for healing.

Full Moons are times when the moon is reflecting all of the sunlight it receives, flooding the earth with powerful energies. These are great times to receive energy healing. The Full Moon energy helps us release that which no longer serves us. It lights up the night, and energetically, these are times when the light can more easily eliminate the darkness in our lives, releasing old blocks. It makes us aware of life patterns that do not work for us. On a subconscious level, we may feel safer holding on to certain toxic emotions such as anger, fear, and jealousy. But with the Full Moon’s energy we can work on letting them go.

This version of “Moon Rabbit” is used in Saïx’s Berserk state. When the rabbit appears on the moon, it is full.  

“I think you can be inseparable even if you’re apart. It’s like, if you feel really close to each other. Like best friends.”

“As long as we remember each other, we’ll never be apart.”

These quotes are very similar and that was no coincidence. It was definitely implied that Axel used to feel not just close, but inseparable from Isa. As long as you feel really close to someone, you can be inseparable from them, even if you’re apart. And as long as you remember each other, you’ll never be apart. He still felt really close to the Isa from his memories. He never wanted to be apart from that Isa.

“I guess the closest thing we Nobodies have got is our past. You know, memories of the stuff we couldn’t bear to lose, back when we couldn’t bear to lose it.”

That’s why he shifted his attitude on Day 150. Before, he said memories were “just baggage”. Now he says that what he can’t bear to lose are his memories of what he couldn’t bear to lose…back when he couldn’t bear to lose it. Isa is the only established character from Lea’s past, so this was no doubt referring to him. Axel was admitting that when he was a human, he couldn’t bear to lose Isa. Of course, Axel did lose him. So, the next best thing was to hold onto the memories of him. The sad reality was that Axel’s hokey speech was really about finding a way for Isa to live forever, and for them to be inseparable once again. In his mind he knew this was probably hopeless. But his heart just wouldn’t let go of Isa.  

Axel thought he lost something precious—a special heart connection he had with someone. But the heart’s connection can never be lost. Lea realizes Isa’s heart never died. His love allowed his heart to live forever. The rocket carrying Isa’s heart has finally arrived on the moon. The rabbit is now immortal and his virtue will be remembered forever. Under the light of Kingdom Heart’s Full Moon, Lea is able to give Isa a birth by sleep, awakening his heart from the darkness of sleep, and offering him new life. He was right all along. Inside people’s memory, you do live forever. And no matter what, Lea’s heart just could not forget Isa.

Crescent Moon is now visible and increasing in size and brightness, having moved from darkness in the New Moon Phase to a slender, but solid easily visible sliver during this phase. This is the energy we feel during this phase; the beginnings of solidity. Visions and intentions are beginning to evolve into manifestation. Momentum is building, and we are beginning to see and feel the formation of what we have began. Our vision is clear, and direction is chosen. This is a time of seeking, and developing. We are encountering details, and confronting the challenges we must face. The vision held is going from a dream to a goal; from an idea to a plan.

The final scene shows Isa’s pin and it symbolizes the beginning of a new cycle, and also the Maiden phase. This phase is good for constructive magic, attracting things like love, wealth, and personal development.

Roxas: This is gonna sound stupid. Do you know what love is?

Axel: ‘Scuse me?

Roxas: I found out about love on today’s mission–that it’s something powerful.

Axel: That’s true. It is. But I’ll never get to experience it.

Roxas: Nobodies can’t love?

Axel: You need a heart, man.

A few days earlier, Axel was pretty dismissive about Roxas’ girl issues. On the other hand, he was NOT so dismissive about love. Sounds like he had a lot more personal experience in this matter that hit a lot closer to home than girl troubles. Axel has been in love. And he longed to be in a relationship where that love is reciprocated to him. This is something he’s never experienced, so he had no memories of it to fall back on.

After Axel said that, I didn’t think it would be truly satisfying unless he found love. But he specified that the love he truly longed for was the special kind between two people that’s different from caring about your friends. His arc was setting up more than platonic love. He longed for romantic love. That’s why I don’t think his ending in KH3 was a fully satisfying one. Friendship was important to him, yes. But the story set Axel up to have a lover when he finally got his heart back.

Axel: Love is what happens if there’s something really special between two people.

Roxas: You mean, like, if they’re best friends? Inseparable?

Axel: Well, you can care about your friends, I guess, but that’s not what I’m talking about.

Everything in Days was carefully written to parallel Axel’s present situation involving Roxas, with his past involving Saïx. It was done very deliberately. Axel speaks of the past in broad terms, but he always speaks with a hint of wistfulness. The past is very personal to him. And the only established character from his past is Saïx. This was NOT an accident. It’s why I think the story was subtlely implying that Lea was not just best friends with Isa, but in love with him as well. They were best friends who were inseparable, just like Roxas and Xion. But Lea felt something else between him and Isa. And that something was different from the way he felt towards his other friends. What he felt for Isa was special. Lea felt love for him. And what better way to rekindle a lost love than under the heart-shaped moon of Kingdom Hearts, the heart of all worlds?

[nadziejastar]

There used to be a huge amount of irony in Saix and Xion's relationship. He hated her for being a puppet, but he was the true puppet all along.

Being Inseparable—A Double-Edged Sword

“Sora or Xion—it matters not. But we need one of them under our control. Bear that in mind.”

Saïx nodded, and a serene smile came to Xemnas’s face.

If that smile meant anything, it was beyond him.

Yep. I do think Isa was Xehanort’s favorite lab rat and that he had all sorts of techniques performed on him to create an obedient slave. Now if that description doesn’t sound like Saïx, I don’t know what does. There’s a reason Axel’s weapons are shaped like the chakras. They both had blockages and could not heal them until the other was healed.

Axel finally stopped sulking with his arms crossed and looked up. “Which means, if the time doesn’t come, things can stay as they are.”

Saïx glared at him. “Lord Xemnas has spoken. Obey or face your end.”

After Saïx’s warning on his behalf, Xemnas vanished from the room. The others followed suit.

The third eye controls the ability to think for yourself and your spirituality. When it is blocked, you feel like you have no purpose. There was a lot more wrong with Saïx than just lacking a heart (which is bad enough). He had mind control techniques used on him. I love Nomura’s illustrations of Saïx because they do such a great job showing the idea behind his character. He can’t think for himself. He’s cold and incapable of being tuned into emotional matters.

“But—!” Saïx jumped to his feet again. At that, Xemnas’s smile disappeared.

“Silence,” he growled, returning his attention to Axel. “Where are Naminé and the boy?”

“The haunted mansion in Twilight Town.” Axel stuck the last of the ice cream pop in his mouth.

Xemnas narrowed his eyes. “Oh…?”

“I’ll go.” Saïx started walking as if he couldn’t wait to leave the scene.

In this illustration he’s totally dominated by Xemnas. He’s had his mental faculties forcefully shut down. He’s literally not capable of higher-level thought processes like the others are. Saïx lives in total fear of Xemnas and he cannot think for himself. He also is another Xehanort and doesn’t even realize it.

“You are to discover the identity of the outsider,” he told her. “Those are direct orders from Lord Xemnas. Failure is the same as insubordination. You understand that, don’t you?”

“Wha…?”

Xion had no idea that Xemnas had chosen her for this mission. To the best of her knowledge, Saïx was the one in charge of assigning tasks.

“I assume I’ve made myself clear. Keep looking.” With that, Saïx turned his back on her and left.

The causes of blockage with the Crown chakra involve spiritual abuse—-things like being forced to have blind obedience, and having no right to think for oneself. Like growing up in a cult. Ignoring this aspect of Saïx destroyed everything that made him such an interesting character. I’ll never forgive KH3 for ruining him so badly. Ugh.

Some kind of pressure was gathering between his eyebrows. He walked down the hallway, and when he arrived at the lobby, no one was there.

“Axel…?” He murmured his friend’s name without thinking, then touched his mouth at the outburst.

They had told him that Axel might have been terminated. He remembered that part.

And being terminated meant there was nothing left, nothing at all, according to Xigbar.

The whole idea behind Saïx is that these chakras are blocked. Both of these are governed by the pineal gland. Since he has the Recusant’s Sigil on his forehead, I’d say his pineal gland is dead. And I think I know how it happened. Grief and personal pain is the major cause of blockage of the third eye chakra. This actually happened to Roxas when he was afraid that Axel was terminated. He passed out in Agrabah and felt pressure between his eyebrows.

Riku gently cradled Xion in her sleep.

His head hurt, and his brows tightened in pain. Why did it hurt so badly…?

He’d first noticed that faint headache a little while ago after recalling what Zexion said to him. Now it was getting much worse—from bearable to excruciating. He had nearly blacked out for a moment, struggling with the worst headache of his life. What was going on?

It also happened to Xion when she remembered what Zexion said to Riku. And he also felt a headache at that moment.

Roxas hadn’t expected to sleep very well, and he was right. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. The center of his head felt heavy, like something pressing from the space between his eye brows all the way back.

But yesterday… Yesterday I saw Xion.

Why was she avoiding me? Why was she running away from me?

This is 100% without a doubt referencing the pineal gland. It is right between the eyebrows, in the back of the head. Roxas had issues with it when he was worried about his friends, and had trouble sleeping. This part of the brain controls the waking and sleeping cycle.

Roxas looked up, surprised to be receiving orders. But of course, it was Saïx.

And he didn’t seem any different from usual.

“Is it true about Castle Oblivion…?” he asked, not looking his superior in the face. Saïx’s response was icy.

“That’s no concern of yours.”

“What about Axel?” he pressed. Hearing that name, Saïx narrowed his eyes faintly, not even enough for Roxas to notice. He wasn’t attuned to such subtle changes.

“Who knows,” Saïx finally said. “Perhaps he is among the lost.”

I would suspect that Isa was so traumatized and afraid that his third eye basically went into total shut-down. I think Isa was traumatized so severely by having Lea threatened.

And yet, Axel couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of his response. “Well, nice to know where I stand.”

He said it with a grin, but the hint of a frown tugged at the scar between Saïx’s brows. Apparently, the joke wasn’t very funny. “You made it back in one piece, didn’t you?”

Were you worried I wouldn’t? Axel almost said, but he didn’t want to deal with putting him in an even fouler mood. Disgust and rage seemed to linger closest to the surface of Saïx’s memories.

He was so worried and grief-stricken, his pineal gland went haywire and he had a total mental collapse. He went to the Realm of Sleep and he was marked with the “X” on his forehead. Essentially, Saïx was brain damaged and severely mentally compromised after this happened. He’s an even better tool for Xemnas because of this, and it’s why he rose to be his right-hand man. Being reminded of this is very unpleasant for Saïx, even though the memories are Isa’s.

Saïx: Something at Castle Oblivion changed you. Does the past mean nothing to you now?

Roxas: Are you worried about her, Axel?

Axel: Of course I am.

Roxas: Doesn’t seem like you.

I think it’s why he was so disappointed at Axel for not being as focused on their goal as he is. Of course, that’s because Axel is suffering from damage to his third eye as well. He’s been traumatized severely, and I think watching Saïx exist in his miserable, emotionless, and robotic condition is a constant source of trauma.

“He worries too much. Thinks he has to help Sora do everything…” Axel grimaced in irritation.

“But, Axel, aren’t you the one worrying about Riku and Sora?” Naminé giggled softly.

“Me, worry? You think I need to be worried about those two?” He stretched backward and rocked the chair back and forth, like a restless child.

Axel has severe anxiety regarding the people he cares about. He was so worried about Riku and Sora he rocked back and forth like a child.

“You’re not wrong…but don’t let your guard down,” Axel told them, bringing up the rear.

“Quit being such a worrywart, Axel.”

“Maybe I could if you two would quit giving me so much to worry about,” he retorted.

Xion and Roxas exchanged a look and laughed.

He constantly worried about Roxas and Xion, too.

“Genie sounded really worried about his friend–some guy named Al. But, I guess you can’t always jump in and do everything for your friends–even if you want to. And then he said that you have to respect your friend’s wishes.” Xion bit her ice cream, swinging her feet. Axel leaned his head to one side.

“Your friend’s wishes, huh…” It feels like I have heard that before, a long time ago, when I was human.

And I think he was worried about Isa, even when he told him not to.

“Well, I think you can be inseparable, even if you’re apart,” said Axel.

Roxas and Xion shared a look. “…Even if you’re apart,” Roxas murmured.

They trailed off, and this time Axel finished his ice cream. So he started talking again. “It’s like, if you feel really close to each other. Like best friends.”

The weapon shaped like the Third Eye chakra is called “Double Edge”. If you say that something is a double-edged sword, you mean that it has negative effects as well as positive effects. I think this is referring to Lea and Isa being inseparable. Lea felt really close to Isa, even when they were apart. It meant they were always felt connected as friends. But…there’s a down side. When the experiments were happening, I think he worried incessantly about Isa. If Isa dissociated due to his extreme worry and fear over losing Lea, this damaged his pineal gland. So, it only is natural that Lea also has issues with this chakra as well. He feels the same pain Isa does, due to constantly worrying. They are inseparable.

“Sheesh. Would it kill them to give me a day off? I’m exhausted,” Axel whined. “I need my beauty sleep.”

There’s a recurring theme about Axel’s inability to sleep and his constant fatigue. It’s mentioned CONSTANTLY in the novels.

Every time he tried to wake up, all Axel could think was how badly he wanted to go back to sleep—although he was getting enough rest.

He just wished he could have a day to himself and do nothing but sleep. It was probably some remnant of his human memories.

Besides, this world was always dark, even in the morning. The deep indigo sky and its heart-shaped moon outside the window might as well be a night sky.

Axel rolled over. He still had a few more minutes. But then he began to think about yesterday.

Even when he gets enough rest, he’s still tired. And he says that this desire to do noting but sleep is a remnant of his human memories.

Axel finished the report, hardly getting any sleep in the process, and figured he might as well get back to the Grey Area.

To be honest with himself, he had been sweating bullets the entire time. It wasn’t simply writing things down. He had to decide what to include and what to leave out, where he could get away with fudging the truth—it made for a grueling project.

The lobby was still empty. With an enormous yawn, Axel collapsed on the sofa. Even Nobodies needed sleep. He crossed his arms and let his eyes close. Just a little catnap…

“That is not a bed.” A sudden rebuke cut through the peace and quiet, and Axel startled awake.

“What…? Oh. Saïx.”

He can’t sleep because he’s always got something troubling him. And he startles easily.

“You just do what you want,” said Axel.

“What I want…? I don’t know what I want to do.��

Axel let out a long-suffering sigh. “Well, I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do. Sleep. And then maybe have a catnap and a snooze after that.”

“But you do that anyway,” said Roxas, still confused.

“Hey, I’d nap six times a day if they’d let me.”

How could anyone sleep that much? Roxas thought. I’d just have dreams that wear me out even more.

“Speaking of, I’d better get to it. Enjoy the break.”

Roxas can’t understand why he wants to sleep so much.

As he turned to go, Roxas grabbed his sleeve. “Wait, Axel…”

“Hey, c’mon, let me get some sleep.” Axel yawned, stretching his arms to emphasize his point.

That was when Xion happened to turn the corner, stopping in her tracks to stare at them. “Uh, what are you two doing?”

“Did you see that paper?” said Roxas.

“Yeah.”

“What are you gonna do, Xion?”

Axel yawned again through Roxas’s question. “If anyone cares, I was just getting back to bed.”

“Wh—? Oh. Okay.” Roxas nodded uncertainly as Axel sauntered off without another word. How can he be that sleepy…?

He finds it very unusual how sleepy Axel is all the time, and the novel makes a point of emphasizing this.

“Does going to sleep count?”

“What?! Axel, you wasted your whole day?”

“Hey, I needed the rest! I work hard on the job, unlike some people.”

“It’s not our fault you get tired so quick,” Xion shot back, and the three of them cracked up together.

He gets tired very easily.

“Doesn’t mean I have to tell you everything. Everybody’s got secrets.” The smirk hadn’t left Axel’s face, but his voice was low and solemn. “Got it memorized?”

“Secrets…?” Roxas repeated to himself. Do I have any of those?

Xion’s gaze dropped, as if her thoughts were wandering, too.

“Geez, you two. I’m kidding!”

The day he chose to sleep all day was their vacation. It’s the same day Axel brought up his “dark secrets”. He smiled, but his voice was low and solemn. His dark secrets are connected to his memories, and are the reason he doesn’t sleep well.

There was no one here yet. Guess I’m actually early…He was only up at this hour because he’d never gone to sleep, working through the night on his report of the mission in Castle Oblivion. But pulling an all-nighter to finish a report did not gain him a reprieve from missions. He twisted to look up at Kingdom Hearts shining outside the window.

“You’re here early,” said Saïx.

Axel waited a second before rolling over to face him. “So are you.”

“No, I’m not. You’re just usually late.” Saïx took up his usual post.

Saïx tells him he’s always late. Just like Roxas did on the clock tower.

Axel had barely gotten any sleep when he headed in early to the Grey Area. He might as well do his negotiating with Saïx about today’s mission without anyone else to overhear.

He’s torn between Saïx and Roxas and Xion. It’s why he sleeps so poorly.

Axel barely slept a wink thanks to all the thoughts turning in his head. He scowled at the throbbing pain in his temples. These sleep deprivation headaches were awful. Rather than going back to sleep and getting a lecture, he went to the Grey Area before anyone else and claimed the sofa to keep thinking.

Dealing with Saïx not only causes him so much worry he can’t sleep, he gets migraines, too.

Axel walked the hallways, trying to sort out his thoughts.

Another sleepless night. He shook his head slowly to dispel the grogginess, but it persisted as he combed through yesterday’s events.

The Organization wanted to have either Roxas or Xion eliminated. But what could he do about it? That was what Axel had to figure out.

He wanted to find a way to save both of them, to respect both of their feelings. He’d spent most of the night poring over the possibilities, but of course he hadn’t found the answer.

He pulls a lot of all-nighters because of his constant worrying over his friends. If this insomnia goes back to his human days, he probably worried over Isa constantly.

“Ugh, I’ve got enough on my plate.” He groaned, imagining Saïx’s face if he reported all this.

Those days as a trio had been so wonderful. Why did this have to happen?

The memory of his heart twinged. Had the breakdown of a friendship always been this painful? It was hard to tell when he didn’t have a heart anymore.

“Don’t wanna get up…”

But he dragged himself out of bed, taking a huge stretch and cricking his neck. He had to get to the Grey Area early if he wanted to talk to Saïx.

Most likely, today would be another bad day.

I think his inability to sleep was connected to his memories of the experiments, which were directly connected to his worrying over Isa and the pain of his friendship breaking down after Isa changed. He doesn’t want to get out of bed when he remembers how that felt. He tells himself he can’t tell if it was always this painful to lose a friendship, because he has no heart. He does that a lot. But I don’t think it’s that simple.

That means, the nobodies gathered as Organisation members once held strong hearts.

Really? Axel wondered to himself.Did that self in my memories really have a strong heart?Don’t really know.And then, nobodies without hearts wish for only one thing. A heart. If I was asked if I wanted a heart, I guess I’d answer that I did. But, do I really want a heart? Can a heart really fill this hollowness I’ve carried since I fell into existence as a nobody?

The chakras are deficient if they spin slowly. Its why Axel’s Ultimate Gear is called “Rapid Spinner”. His Crown chakra was definitely blocked along with his Third Eye chakra. It’s why he was so indecisive about his true purpose, lacking in joy, and had such limiting beliefs about everything. His problem with this chakra also related to Saïx and his memories of the past.

Shards of emotion, fragments of memory. So alike…but they’re completely different things.

Even if we can hold on to a few fragments of memory, we can’t have the smallest shard of emotion.

Nostalgia… And memory.

We are the ones who lost their hearts—the ones who are no one. Nobodies.

Not light nor darkness—we live in the twilight.

Axel stopped outside the crystal ball room and took a deep breath.

Why are we here? What are we doing?

No—why am I here?

Still asking himself that question, he opened the door.

He asks himself why he’s here when he starts reminiscing about the past. And he is confident he cannot feel any emotions.

The set of his shoulders told him plainly what the answer would be.

Axel realized how great the rift was between how he remembered their past and what he saw now.

Why am I even here? I don’t know anymore. What am I trying to do?

He feels so lost all the time.

But those connections were no more than memories of the past—Axel had never cared about anyone since becoming a Nobody. What was happening? Why was Roxas so important to him? Why was Sora?

He hadn’t cared about anyone since becoming a Nobody.

“Fear’s an emotion. It doesn’t exist for us.”

He truly couldn’t feel anything until he met Sora and Roxas.

“It’s because I don’t have a heart,” Axel went on. “I don’t want to disappear, but I’m not upset or sad about it.”

Naminé tried to say something and failed.

Nobodies aren’t supposed to exist. Nobodies don’t have hearts, so they can’t feel anything. No… We couldn’t feel anything. Until we met Sora. And Roxas, his Nobody. Why can’t the rest of them see that?

Watching Isa suffer was the main reason he was so emotionally dead inside. He couldn’t feel anything for so many years. Because is friend was so fucked up. If Isa hadn’t been so messed up, he would have been able to nurture a new heart right away, like he did with Roxas and Xion.

After watching them go, Axel stretched and turned to Saïx, expecting to see a scowl. But the expression had left Saïx’s face, leaving him as dispassionate as usual.

Of course, he had been faking it in the first place. Nobodies had no hearts; they only imitated what emotions they remembered. The very proof of their emptiness showed how desperately they each longed for a heart. Axel probably did the same thing himself without noticing, and yet, for some reason, when Saïx did it—or actually, any of the others—it seemed so out of place.

Maybe because it makes me realize how much effort we put into acting like we’re still human, Axel thought. It’s pointless.

Whenever Saïx acts emotionally dead, it makes Axel feel emotionally dead, too. He denies all of his feelings. He does it in the novels all the time. I think he’s being honest. He really has a hard time feeling emotions. He cannot differentiate between emotional numbness caused by trauma, and the lack of a heart as a Nobody. When he grows a heart, his depersonalization is still there because he’s been traumatized so badly. But he doesn’t realize this. He thinks he has no heart and is a bad person.

Roxas slumped over. “Why does he hate her so much…?”

Axel was a bit taken aback. Out of habit, Nobodies might say they liked or hated things, but none of them really had those emotions—not the way Roxas meant.

“What d’you mean by that?” Axel laughed. “You just can’t stop talking like a real person, can you?”

Then Roxas turned to him. “What did I say?” He seemed uncertain, his gaze wandering, and he hung his head again. “I don’t know how real people talk…,” he mumbled.

Roxas must feel like he doesn’t know anything, Axel thought. Well, I don’t have the best handle on things myself, but I’m slightly less clueless.

When the subject of Saïx’s lack of emotional capacity came up, he goes into a dissociated state and his feelings truly are numbed out.

Lea handed over some munny and took the two cones from Scrooge, one of which he gave to Isa.

“It’s cold…,” Isa muttered as he took a bite.

“What’re you talking about? It’s ice cream; of course it’s cold. Got it memorized?”

“Salty, too.”

“But sweet!”As Lea went on, Isa smiled just a bit. It’s rare to see Isa smile. But, well, friendship means eating ice cream together, talking about stupid things, and laughing like this.

It’s why he was so addicted to ice cream. I think it was significant that Isa smiled while complaining it was salty and Lea thinking to himself that Isa smiling was rare. He associated sea-salt ice cream with friendship and Isa being happy and smiling.

He’d never deluded himself that tracking down Riku would be easy, and neither had Saïx. It was just that if he went back and reported that he couldn’t find anything, he would have to deal with those attempts at “personality”—the sneers, the snide remarks, the only trappings of human emotion that Saïx ever showed. Not that Saïx was even capable of annoyance or disappointment, of course, what with the lack of a heart and all.

Heading up the slope to the station, Axel bit into the ice cream bar. “This stuff is so salty,” he murmured to himself, as he often did.

Something he never does anymore. He thinks it’s too salty, but eats it anyways. It helps him deal with Saïx’s lack of emotional capacity.

“Yo.”

Axel moved shakily up to Naminé, a hand pressed to his chest, and with a glance up at Riku, bit one of the ice creams she was still holding.

“Now that’s salty…,” he said in a small voice, and sank heavily into the chair. His breath was coming jaggedly.

Naminé rushed over, dropping one of the ice creams in her hand onto the floor.

More ice cream, and more dissociation from his feelings. He eats the ice cream after Saïx tried to kill him. He comments how salty it is here, too.

“Oh. Right… You really can taste the sea salt in this, huh?” Axel turned away, his shoulders shaking.

If he had no heart, then what were these feelings welling up in his chest supposed to be?

Sorrow and…happiness?

Axel didn’t have a handle on it. But maybe not understanding these things was part of having a heart.

I understand why he was so confused and thought he had no heart, despite the fact that he had emotions and was often aware that he did.

His only good friend—his best friend—Axel had arrived with two sea-salt ice cream pops.

During the scene where Axel says goodbye to Roxas, it mentions how he was his only good friend. If he’s thinking that Roxas was his only friend, he was obviously thinking about Isa in this moment, too. Roxas was not his only friend, lol.

Axel’s eyes crinkled as he remembered his own best friend—the only friend he’d ever had, in fact.

“If your best friend goes away, you’re sad, and if you get to be with them, you’re happy,” Naminé added. “Isn’t that how it is, Axel?”

“…That’s about the size of it.” Axel nodded and sat down on the remaining empty sofa, staring at the sea-salt ice cream he held.

“So you are capable of sincerity,” said Riku.

Axel only shrugged at the jab and finished his ice cream pop.

He did it here, too. He responded sadly and stared at the ice cream in his hand. Axel couldn’t get over his issues until Isa did. They were inseparable.

[nadziejastar]

I love the idea. It completes the elemental theme since Terra is earth, Aqua is water, Ventus is wind, Lea is fire, and Isa means “ice”. Sora is sky, Riku is land, Kairi is sea, TAV are stars, Lea is sun, and Isa is moon.

Organization XIII’s Number VII.

If Saïx sees something he can use, he will—and without a second thought.

But also, it fits Isa’s character. I think he’s such a fascinating character. I think he wanted to be useful more than anybody. In the organization, you have to be strong or useful in some way. Otherwise you are annihilated. Treating a person to ice cream is how Axel commends someone for trying hard and doing their best. This seems to be a special tradition for him because of its connection to his youth.

“You hate troublesome things, right, Axel?”

“Well, Roxas—why do the three of us eat ice cream together every day in that place? I have no use in doing that either, do I? If you think about it, it’s troublesome, right? Do you want me to tell you?” Roxas looked at Axel, and waited for his answer.

“It’s because we are best friends.”

Axel specified that he had no practical use for eating ice cream every day with Roxas and Xion. But best friends don’t think of each other in terms of usefulness. From an objective standpoint, it might be seen as troublesome. But subjectively, it’s not. He goes out of his way to hang out with them because it’s fun and that’s what friends do.

Isa—A serene and self-possessed boy who always has time for a quick quip at his best friend Lea’s expense.

It doesn’t seem like Isa was a very “motivated” person, at least in the way the organization would desire. He was laid back and always had time for a quip at Lea’s expense. It seems like Isa was the one who was more motivated by hanging out and eating ice cream than anything.

“I’m a can-do man, so I got ready ages ago.”

“How exactly are you ‘can-do’, kupo?” mumbled the Moogle.

“Yeah, how exactly are you ‘can-do’?” Roxas repeated.

“In ways darling children like you don’t understand,” said Axel, scratching his head. Roxas and the Moogle looked at each other and laughed.

Roxas and the shop moogle made quips at Axel’s expense on the day they go looking for Xion.

If she went back only to report another failure, Saïx would know that she couldn’t wield the Keyblade anymore. And then…she might be terminated.

What do I do? What can I possibly do…?

That was the day Xion ran away because she was afraid of being annihilated for being useless.

“We can’t afford to spend any more chances on you,” Saïx was telling her. “You were a mistake we never should have made. A failure.”

Failure…? What was that about?

With one parting glance at Xion’s miserable, downcast face, Saïx turned and left.

More than any other insult, Saïx called Xion “failure” the most.

He’d failed the mission where he’d been told if he disregarded his orders he’d be destroyed. Disregarding orders and failing a mission were considered the same thing.

In the organization, failure to carry out an order is considered the same as disobeying the order. Axel knew this after he failed to bring Roxas back.

“You are to discover the identity of the outsider,” he told her. “Those are direct orders from Lord Xemnas. Failure is the same as insubordination. You understand that, don’t you?”

“Wha…?” Xion had no idea that Xemnas had chosen her for this mission. To the best of her knowledge, Saïx was the one in charge of assigning tasks.

And Saïx emphasized this when he gave Xion the order to capture Riku.

Day 172: Meaning Behind the Words

Author: Axel

There has to be something to what Saïx said. Why isn’t Xion qualified to be one of us? He said to just look at her, but at what? The fact that she looks like Naminé? Xion and Naminé must be connected. Whose Nobody is Xion, anyway? What is Saïx hiding?

After Xion collapsed, Saïx said she was not worthy to be an organization member. And Axel’s report entry refers to the “meaning behind the words”. Xion’s name refers to imaginary numbers. So, she’s not fit to be among the organization’s number because she’s not even real.

Day 7: Meaning

Author: Xemnas

A name defines an object. Describes the span of it. Gives it purpose. We embarked upon the Replica Program to ensure our new power stays ours. Now, our shadow puppet, “No. i,” lives. It needs a name. Something to define it. To give the hollow vessel purpose.

Names are given by Xemnas to impart meaning and purpose.

“As your flesh bears the sigil, so your name shall be known as that of a Recusant.”

Let’s assume this quote is about Saïx, which I think is the most likely scenario. He’s the only character with the Recusant’s Sigil on his flesh, after all. His name was given to impart the meaning of a recusant. And a recusant is a heretic or a traitor. The “X” is based on the crook and flail which is a symbol of divine authority in ancient Egypt.

“Saïx called Xion a failure…”

Hearing that, Axel also sucked in a breath. I think maybe Saïx hasn’t been paying attention to Roxas and Xion’s ‘specialness’. Yeah, those two un-Nobody-like Nobodies show emotional reactions that other Nobodies don’t. Abuse them with cold words, and Roxas and Xion react to them—just like they have hearts.

Saïx didn’t understand that. Despite the lack of a heart, he could imagine what it was like to have emotional responses based on what he remembered from his human life. And he must be able to remember how much trouble it was.

If failure is the same as insubordination to Xehanort, Isa’s scar might very well have been intended as the mark of a “failure”. A big scarlet letter right on his face as a permanent reminder of his purpose. In KH3, he said he awakened to a new purpose, which was to become stronger. Why did he want to be strong so badly, though? In KH2, he said he lost his true purpose. I think Isa was considered a weak failure unfit to be among the organization’s number unless he became stronger. And so Xemans assigned him that purpose so he could finally be useful for once.

“Is it true about Castle Oblivion…?” he asked, not looking his superior in the face.

Saïx’s response was icy. “That’s no concern of yours.”

“What about Axel?” he pressed. Hearing that name, Saïx narrowed his eyes faintly, not even enough for Roxas to notice. He wasn’t attuned to such subtle changes.

“Who knows,” Saïx finally said. “Perhaps he is among the lost.”

He’s BY FAR the most self-loathing organization member, in my opinion. The way he treats everyone is a reflection of how he sees himself. As a human he was made to think he was totally and utterly useless. He thinks it’s pointless for Xion to worry about Roxas since there’s nothing she can actually do for him.

“There’s nothing you can do even if you do go. Xion will not wake up.”

“That’s not the point!” Roxas snapped. “I should still be with her!”

Saïx didn’t have to talk that way. Maybe Roxas wouldn’t be able to do anything besides look in on her. That didn’t matter—he wanted to see how she was. Why was Saïx being so obtuse?

He says the same thing to Roxas when he was worried about Xion.

Roxas: Why were you working him so much harder than you do me? Is he that strong?

Phil: Well, sure. He’s a hero, kid. If I put a squirt like you through that, you’d croak on me.

Roxas: So people work you harder when they have expectations? The Organization expects me to do hard missions all the time. Aren’t expectations the same thing as orders?

Saïx has the most problems with people who remind him of his past in some way. He has BIG issues with Axel, Xion, and Xigbar. And in the manga they really show how much he hates Demyx. He comes with Roxas to Olympus Coliseum several times, and on Day 153, a few days after Saïx berates Xion for failing her mission. And it’s to show that Demyx is not good at fighting nor is he very motivated. He is barely useful to the organization. He is always asking for a vacation and constantly slacks off.

Roxas: What kind of missions do you usually work?

Demyx: Me? Recon stuff, mostly.

Roxas: No taking out Heartless?

Demyx: Nah, it’s rare that I do anything that strenuous.

Roxas: But aren’t you expected to?

Demyx: Ha, they know better than that. They wanna keep the machine running, they pick the right tool for the job.

The organization has low expectations of Demyx and therefore doesn’t assign him any task that is too difficult.

Day 153: This Is Gonna Be a Hit!

I’ve got me a new hit single! X-face is always barking at me to work, but what’s he expect me to do against a monster like that? I mean, stop and think about skill sets when you divide up the labor already!

But Demyx wrote this in his report on that day. Saïx is always barking at him to work, even though everyone knows he’s not the right tool for the job. This suggests a personal issue, because Xemnas never complained about Demyx being a problem. If he wasn’t contributing in some way, he’d have been erased already.

Saïx’s estimation of Xion seemed to have plummeted lower than ever. True, she’d lost badly against the Organization impostor—but that was Riku. Defeat was all but inevitable against him.

Failing to carry out a mission was unacceptable, of course, but not impossible. She could always challenge Riku again. If the mission was so unsuited to her in the first place, though, Saïx ought to know better as the one in charge of handing out assignments. And Axel was beginning to suspect at least some of the blame lay with him. Saïx held some particular grudge against Xion…

Saïx is a workaholic ladder climber, motivated to reach the top of the organization hierarchy. But more than that, I think he’s just desperate to escape the memories of his past. 

Axel: Ouch! Roxas, that’s not cool.

Roxas: But look at him! All he ever does is lie around playing that sitar.

Axel: Aw, he’s not that bad. He’s got his own missions to—Does he? Huh. I actually have no idea what he does.

Xion: You know, I’ve seen Demyx out in the field, rocking out on that sitar of his.

Roxas: What does that accomplish?

Axel: Hey, for all you know, he’s out there fighting Heartless and doing recon–just the same as you.

He doesn’t want to be looked down. He thinks he has to justify his very existence by being useful.

Roxas: But I’ve heard him say he wasn’t cut out for combat. I guess everybody in the Organization is good at different things.

Axel: That’s right. Everybody’s unique.

Xion: Even Nobodies? Don’t you need a heart to be unique?

Axel: Oh, I think we have other things that set us apart. Like our pasts. That’s one of the things that makes the Organization members special. Unlike lesser Nobodies, we remember who we were.

I think Demyx reminds Saïx of his past self, so he is especially harsh on him. On the other hand, Axel was very quick to defend Demyx’s usefulness to the organization, even though he couldn’t think of any ways that Demyx was actually useful. Axel just hates thinking of people as tools who are only valued in terms of their usefulness, and I think this had to do with Isa. 

If you cannot wield the Keyblade to its purpose, you have no place in the Organization. Keep that in mind and make sure to eliminate Heartless with the Keyblade.”

“…I see. I’ll be more careful,” she replied.

It was Saïx who told Xion she was useless without the Keyblade, and why she was hiding in Twilight Town. Axel gave them the idea to tell Saïx that working together would raise their motivation. And you can just tell that Saïx was annoyed as soon as they said it.

“If you’ve got troubles, you tell them to your friends… right? Roxas.”

Roxas nodded, and said, “We’re… friends, right?”

“At those words, Xion finally spoke. “I can’t… use the Keyblade anymore.” “I have to collect hearts. And so, if I can’t use the Keyblade… I… am useless.” Xion hung her head. Her melting ice cream dampened her hand.

This part of the story is all about best friends.

Axel cut off Saïx’s scolding. “It’s okay, isn’t it? Working together, these two newbies could finally work at least as much as one person, right?” Saïx turned to Axel with a sour look on his face.

“If we can go together, I think we’d even be able to handle harder missions,” Roxas added, immediately. Saïx shook his head slightly.

Axel was obviously drawing on their past to convince Saïx to let them go together. He even mentioned newbies coming of age.

“What did you intend to do?”

“What did I intend to do? Offer some friendly help?” Axel replied, and grinned at Saïx.

Saïx knew from the very beginning that Axel was covering for Xion. I definitely think Roxas and Xion’s dynamic reminded Saïx of Lea and Isa’s dynamic way too much for his liking.

“But, you’d have to try twice as hard from now on, Roxas.”

“I’ll do my best,” said Roxas giving a strong nod.

But, Xion looked worried. “…Is that okay?”

“Of course it’s okay!”

“But…” Xion cast her eyes down again. The ice cream in her hand was mostly melted.

The look on his face tells you he doesn’t like hearing any of this. He lets them go simply so Axel won’t talk about it anymore.

“When you’re in trouble, you can count on your friends, right, Roxas?” Axel said, and Roxas smiled, looking at Xion.

But the idea is that best friends will pick up the slack for you if they have to.

“Al, Al, A~l! If you can’t rely on your friends in this kind of situation, when can you rely on them? The Carpet says so too!”

This theme from Agrabah was continued into KH2.

“But Genie is good, right? Helping his best friend. I can’t do a~nything, so I can’t show my friendship,” said Iago, still looking down. “Naah. Friendship, it’s not about helping your friends, or not, or anything, I think it’s fine as long as you can have fun together.”

Flowing up in Sora’s heart, as he said that, was his own important friends. The important best friends he still hasn’t been able to meet.

Friendship isn’t about being useful. This whole concept feels tailor-made for a character like Saïx.

At that moment, Axel poked his head in. “Oh, is Roxas going to Beast’s Castle?” Xion gazed up at Axel, as if clinging to his presence. Axel glanced her way, and nodded to her slightly. “I checked that place out yesterday, and that Heartless looked pretty darn tough. I reckon it might be impossible for him to get that thing on his own, hmm ~”

“Are you trying to tell me to let them go together?” asked Saïx in a disagreeable tone.

Axel was also referencing their youth on Day 96. Roxas and Xion needed to work together again. Saïx knew he had no real argument for Axel because he used to rely on Lea.

Belle: I wonder if he’s off chasing those horrid creatures again. He’s had to do that every day for weeks… I wish there were some way I could help. Perhaps I’ll ask Cogsworth and the others. I’m sure that together we can figure something out.

Beast’s Castle was all about motivation. The Beast wasn’t just fighting for himself. He was fighting to protect his servants and Belle. And Belle wanted to spend more time with the Beast. In the manga she tried very hard to be useful and it’s actually funny since she’s so inept at fighting. Cogsworth and Lumiere’s reactions were probably similar to Lea’s worrying over Isa.

“Well, I think you can be inseparable, even if you’re apart,” said Axel. Roxas and Xion shared a look.

“Really?”

“It’s like, if you feel really close to each other. Like best friends.”

At first, Roxas didn’t know why they needed to fight the Heartless. He questioned whether they really needed hearts, but just went along with it. He didn’t feel that motivated, and wanted to know why the Beast was fighting so hard. Xion became motivated when she felt like she wasn’t alone. That’s how she got her ability to use the Keyblade back.

“But, you know, hanging out every day isn’t the only thing that matters. We’ll still have one another, even if that changes.”

“Really?” Roxas perked up.

“Yeah. As long as we remember one another, we’ll never be apart. Got it memorized?”

Roxas and Xion found their motivation by wanting to hang out together forever. In the manga, they tell Axel that they want to complete Kingdom Hearts so they can eat ice cream together every day. In the game, Roxas never states any particular motivation. He was happy as long as Axel and Xion were around. He didn’t really understand what having a heart would do for him. He just wanted the days hanging out eating ice cream and watching the sunset to last forever.

Xion turned to look at Xigbar. “Just Kingdom Hearts. I was thinking how pretty it is,” she replied.

Xigbar began to chuckle, then outright laugh. So Xigbar found something funny in what Xion said? I still don’t really understand how that guy thinks.

“Did I say something weird?” asked Xion, looking at him strangely.

“No—you’re growing up into a fine young thing, as they say,” he said, and laughed his head off.

It’s probably that… since the Keyblade returned to Xion, even though she hasn’t gone on missions with Roxas, she’s keeping calm and composed. If that’s what he means by growing up, then it’s true, but I don’t know why that would make him laugh this much.

The next chapter in the manga is titled “Sweetheart” and it takes place around Day 117 ~Secrets~. And it still involved motivation and work ethic. After Xion got her Keyblade back, she was very motivated. Everyone was commenting that she was fired up. Xigbar said she was growing into a fine young thing and Axel assumed it meant she was becoming more independent.

Demyx poked his head in between them. “Heya, what am I missing? Somebody tell a funny story?”

“We were just saying how Poppet is a lot more useful that you,” said Xigbar.

“Huh?” Demyx shrugged. “I don’t get it.”

Finally, Saïx intervened. “Xion.” She looked up and scurried to him, while Axel took the opportunity to get up from the sofa.

“You’re working with Axel today,” Saïx told her. “Don’t dally.”

And Saïx was acting like a drill instructor. In the novel, after Xigbar said Xion was growing up, Saïx interrupted when Xigbar said Xion was more useful than Demyx.

“You’re working with Axel today,” Saïx told her. “Don’t dally.”

“With Axel?” Xion turned to the Nobody in question.

Axel nodded jauntily. “Yup. We’re partners now.”

“Well, as long as you stay out of the way.”

“Excuse me? That’s my line.”

Saïx watched their banter with a withering glare, which actually cut Axel’s laughter short. Xion noticed, too, and quickly assumed a more professional bearing. In an attempt to break the suddenly oppressive mood, Axel asked Saïx, “Anyway, where’s Roxas off to today?”

“He and Xigbar will be taking a look at another new world.”

He also got very irritated at Axel and Xion’s banter before their mission. In the manga he does this too, but it happens later. I think he got so annoyed because it reminded him too much of his past self. The “unusually incensed” line also  seems to be a reference to Saïx’s past.

In any case, I don’t really get why I had to go on a mission with her right at this time. There are certainly a fair few Heartless, but with the force Xion has now, I think she could fight just fine without my help.

“That should be all of them over here, I think.”

“Hey, you’ve gotten pretty good at this.”

“Huh? What’s that for?”

“What? I’m just commending your hard work.”

“Can you not be so weird about it, then?” She laughed.

Suddenly, Xion’s face went hazy in Axel’s vision. He rubbed his eyes. What was that…?

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Uh, nothing…” For an instant, he thought he’d seen Naminé.

Xion was so fired up because she finally felt useful. Axel compliments her hard work and this happens in both the novel and the manga. Axel was asked to observe Xion and he thought she was incredible. She fought just like Roxas and he felt like his help wasn’t needed.

The sea… A seashell. To Axel, there was only one person that brought to mind. Sora. He thought he knew a thing or two about Sora’s memories, scattered as they were by Naminé’s handiwork in Castle Oblivion. You could hardly get away from the sea back where he was from—the Destiny Islands.

And that good luck charm, the symbol of Sora’s promise to Kairi… Wasn’t it made of seashells? So it wasn’t just Sora. It also made him think of Kairi, a Princess of Heart.

If Xion had some connection to Naminé, then naturally, that memory of hers pertained to Kairi somehow. Naminé was Kairi’s Nobody, after all. Or maybe it meant that Xion was related to Kairi herself. So whose Nobody was Xion? Now that he was thinking about this, he had to wonder if seeing Naminé in Xion during the mission was more than just random hallucination.

“But, Axel, you have memories, don’t you?” Xion asked.

“More or less. Not that they’ve ever done me any good,” he replied, looking over at her.

At the end of the mission, Xion and Axel discussed their memories. Axel knew that Kairi’s good luck charm represented their promise to each other.

“Hey. Sorry I took so long.”

“You sure did,” Xion told him with a grin, slipping the seashell back in her pocket. “We finished our ice cream ages ago.”

Roxas sat down beside her. “Xigbar cut and run. I had to finish the mission on my own.”

“Sounds like you earned yourself the treat,” said Axel.

Not wasting any more time, Roxas dug in. Axel pocketed the stick from his own ice cream.

Axel treated Roxas to ice cream after Xigbar left him with all the work on their mission together. And he also put the popsicle stick in his pocket after Xion put the seashell back in hers. Axel was sentimental about the WINNER stick long before Roxas ever gave one to him.

Xigbar, listening in with his arms folded, finally had to make a remark. “You’ve been working so well, Poppet.”

“Uh, thanks,” she mumbled.

“What’re you thanking me for?”

“Well, you gave me a compliment… Or did you?”

“Ha! I guess it was a compliment, wasn’t it?” Xigbar held a fist to his mouth, not quite covering a laugh.

“What did I say that was funny?” Xion looked uneasily up at him.

“Oh no, nothing. You’re completely right.”

If Saïx was interested in their conversation, he gave no indication.

Axel gave Saïx a knowing glance when he said Xion found her motivation. In the novel, Xigbar was teasing Saïx by saying almost the exact same thing Axel said to Xion when he was praising her. Apparently the organization was monitoring the memories that Xion absorbed from those around her. I definitely think that’s why Xigbar bullies Saïx so much. He must have seen a memory of Lea treating Isa to the icing on the cake as “motivation”.

“Yes. It seems that unless he completes some task before the rose withers, he’ll remain a beast forever.” Xaldin smirked at his own cleverness. “A beastly curse and a rose… Heh-heh. This will prove useful.”

“How?”

“Trying to explain it to you would be a waste of time. Let’s go, Roxas. No more dallying.” With that nonanswer, Xaldin left the chambers.

Roxas dallied anyway, peering through the doors again. The rose, the thing he treasures, is his weakness? Nope, I don’t get it. I wonder if Axel will know what it all means…?

After Axel leaves, Xion bungles a mission. And Axel returns just in time for her to get in trouble and start avoiding Roxas. The morning Roxas hears her being scolded is the day called “Fear” where he asks Axel if he has anything he can’t bear to lose. I think Isa was considered “useful” to the organization in the same way Xaldin considered the rose and Belle useful. He was useful for his ability to harm Lea.

Day 171 ~Love~

Before returning to the castle, Roxas saw Beast, wounded from protecting what he cares for, with Belle there to care for him. Love had grown between the two. Xaldin declared the power of love to be worthless. Roxas asked what that power was, but Xaldin said that explaining the concept to a Nobody with no heart would be pointless, and departed.

Left alone, Roxas contemplated what love might be. At their usual spot, Roxas asked Axel what love is, but got no answers. Perhaps completing Kingdom Hearts and gaining a heart would offer some answers. Roxas watched the sunset with these thoughts on his mind.

Xion collapsed on Day 171, the day about love.

Day 172 ~Sound of the Surf~

Before leaving for a mission with Luxord, Roxas heard that Xion failed another mission and fell into a deep slumber. Roxas disregarded Saïx's order to not worry about a failure like Xion and went to her room.

Roxas found out the next morning, and Saïx told him not to worry about a failure. It’s similar to Xaldin saying that love is worthless, and the stuff of poetry, not practicality. Roxas’ worrying won’t actually DO anything for Xion in any practical way. And I think Isa’s feelings were probably belittled in the same way. There was nothing he could actually do to help Lea. His worrying was “useless”. He felt like he had nothing to offer.

“So, Saïx, what am I doing to���? Oh, boy. Awfully early for such a bad mood, don’t you think?” Saïx had whirled to face him with a rather pronounced scowl.

“…Nobodies do not have ‘moods’ to be ruined,” he said at length.

“Well, sure, technically…” Of course, with no hearts, they couldn’t have moods or fits of temper. If something went frustratingly awry, their faces might reveal shadows of remembered emotion, no more. Still, for a remembered shadow, that was a mean glower on Saïx’s face. “Did I miss something?” Axel wondered.

“Xion has collapsed again.”

Now Axel frowned. He sure had missed something. “Did she get hurt or what?”

“No,” Saïx replied, any hint of expression vanishing from his face. “It’s just that the failure was functioning better than expected until recently.”

“‘The failure’? Is that what we’re calling her now?”

The weapon representing Isa’s personality is Bunnymoon. It’s a symbol of the power of love which is “worthless”. Lunatic is the weapon which brings out Saïx’s “true worth”.  And a lunatic is someone who is dangerously mentally ill.

“I want to go with you,” she told him in no uncertain terms. A slight frown of concern came to his face.

“Don’t you need some more rest?” Maybe he was still worried. But she wanted to get going.

“I’ll be fine. C’mon, let me tag along.” Roxas took a few reluctant moments before giving in.

“All right.” Xion immediately jumped out of bed. Now they just had to persuade Saïx. They discussed it briefly and stopped their superior just outside the lobby.

“Saïx!” He glanced sidelong at Xion.

“Well, well. It lives. There’s just no keeping you down.”

Xion was also "particularly incensed” on Day 193, and in the manga there is very similar dialogue to the novel on Day 117. Saïx was also annoyed at their banter on this day. Day 117 was the first time Xion and Axel worked together. Day 193 was the first time Roxas, Xion, and Axel all had a mission together.

“Let me go, too,” Xion entreated. “I could use the exercise.” A pause turned into a silence just slightly too long.

“What’s the problem? She’ll have me looking after her, too,” Axel finally said.

Still, Saïx made no reply. He and Axel appeared to be in a staring contest—and not an entirely friendly one. It made Xion nervous.

“Fine. Go, if you’re so determined.” Saïx capitulated.

Saïx also seemed to know that Xion was going to collapse on this day, just like how he expected it might happen on Day 117. Axel definitely was remembering a specific incident related to his past on both days. And Day 193 is called “Memories”. I think Saïx was so dry and sarcastic to Xion because she was being treated so similar to how Isa was.

“You’re not wrong…but don’t let your guard down,” Axel told them, bringing up the rear.

“Quit being such a worrywart, Axel.”

“Maybe I could if you two would quit giving me so much to worry about,” he retorted. Xion and Roxas exchanged a look and laughed.

“So…where are we headed first?” Axel asked.

“Station plaza,” Roxas replied.

“Any particular reason?”

Roxas and Xion were having too much fun and not taking the mission seriously. They were more concerned with having fun and eating ice cream afterwards.

“We want to be able to get back to the tram common to get ice cream, right?”

“Huh?” Axel wasn’t following.

“So we’ll start at the farthest point away from the tram common and work our way toward it. That’ll make it easier once we’re done.”

“That’s smart, Roxas!” Xion exclaimed.

“It is…?” Axel mumbled.

Axel isn’t getting it, she thought. But that doesn’t really matter. Working together as a trio, here in Twilight Town—it just makes things more fun.

Axel thought they were letting their guard down. And in the KH2 manga, Axel temporarily knocked Saïx out and said he still had “the same holes in his defenses”.

“Xion!” He called her name, gently setting her down, but she was unresponsive. He’d been so careless.

He had no idea exactly why Xion seemed to collapse so often. But he knew that she did, so why would he let her go on a mission immediately after she started to recover? As he berated himself, something occurred to him.

Axel knew that Kairi’s good luck charm represented their promise to each other, which was also discussed on Day 117. After Xion collapsed, he remembered that she said she had no human memories. And he also knew that Kairi was Sora’s light in the darkness. Sora was the only person besides Xehanort who became a Heartless and retained his self-awareness. Axel was interested in him because of this.

Day 193: Dreams, or Memories?

Author: Xion

I finally wake up, just to pass out again? Why? Because I'm a failure? I dreamt the whole while I was out. It was something nostalgic, but what? Why can't I remember? It could be a key memory from my human life. All I can remember is the sound of waves, gentle, in the distance.

Xion had a feeling that her dream was really a memory and a key one, at that.

Naminé: But what...what if he needs those memories in order to wake up? What if they're the key?

Sora needed his most precious memories to literally awaken  from his slumber. Naminé said this on Day 224 ~Anomaly~.

Day 224: Xion

Author: Axel

Even if Xion is a replica—a puppet—she's still Xion. I understand that in my head, but how do I interact with her now? Riku Replica was just a tool, but I can't just use Xion. No, I was wrong to have just used Riku Replica in the first place. How is a man-made puppet any less worthy than a Nobody that was never meant to exist at all? They're both ambiguous. Tenuous at best. And she's my friend. Even if neither of us should exist, that doesn't invalidate the bonds we form. Next break we get, I told her we'd all go to the beach. I hope we get the chance. Our little summer vacation. I know if we can get together and laugh about stupid stuff, this nagging doubt will go away.

Axel had a report entry on this day. He talked about how he was wrong to use the Riku Replica as a tool, and wants to take Xion to the beach. 

Saïx: I'm sending you with Demyx today. Try to inspire in him a little of your work ethic.

Day 224 took place at Olympus Coliseum with Demyx, and Roxas fought Xigbar. It’s never explained the reason Xigbar was there, though.

A memory. My first memory. Saïx took me by the hand and brought me out of Castle Oblivion. “This is the last you’ll see of these walls… Xion.” Yes, I remember what he said to me. And I remember where I was. Castle Oblivion.

Xion also almost falls off the clock tower on this day, like Roxas in KH2. In the novel, we learn that she remembered being taken out of Castle Oblivion by Saïx when that happened.

Secret Report 1: Recollections

Secret Report 1 is obtained after clearing Battlegate 1 at Olympus: Realm of the Gods / Courtyard.

Am I alive? I awoke in a cell, alone until the researchers came with their tests and their prodding to uncover my identity. I had no answer to offer them. I was simply called "X" there. One day, a man came to take me from the prison. I could not see him for the darkness, save that he wore an eyepatch.

I really don’t understand what was going on between Xion and Saïx, and it makes me sad that we’ll never learn the truth. But their memories definitely seemed to be connected somehow. And because she was causing him to relive certain memories, he began to hate her and call her a failure non-stop. I think there was probably a connection between this report from KH3, which is found at Olympus, and Xion’s first memory.

Saïx: Well, that didn't take long. Did it break again?

Roxas: She's not an "it"!

Axel: Keep your mouth shut.

Saïx: You have changed...Something at Castle Oblivion changed you. Does the past mean nothing to you now?

After Axel came back on Day 193, he was cold to Saïx and it scared Roxas.

As Axel fanned Sora’s curiosity, he fell into thought himself. Nobodies were guided by their memories. But that was precisely why they might lose sight of what those memories meant. Maybe it could really happen.

“You’ve lost sight of the light within the darkness. And it seems that you’ve forgotten that you forgot.”

“The light within the darkness…,” Sora murmured, as if it reminded him of something.

Axel seized on that. “You want me to give you a hint?”

Just like Sora needed his memories, Axel needed his memories to awaken from his figurative slumber.

“But be forewarned… When your sleeping memories awaken, you may no longer be who you are now.”

That’s why he changed. And it’s why he felt compelled to tell Roxas and Xion that he got ice cream with them because it was fun, not because he got any “use” out of it. Isa was considered useless and worthless. I think Isa deserves a Keyblade to redeem himself.

[nadziejastar]

Challenge: It's easy to complain about bad decisions. but it doesn't actually solve anything. Let's say that SE decide that Lea and Isa's story was mishandled and decide that you're the person to get it back in order. You're not allowed to throw KH3 out, but you can tweak and retcon things to support future narratives. How do you fix the story going forward?

Well, maybe this will sound like a cop-out answer, but…if I was in charge, I’d just go back to the original idea for Lea and Isa’s relationship. I complain so much because it really was too good of a story to waste. If I was in charge, I really wouldn’t try very hard to stay consistent with KH3’s mess of a plot. I mean, it’s not like KH3 tried very hard to stay consistent with the previous games’ plot points, anyways. Not just with Lea and Isa, but in general. KH3 assumed its audience was a bunch of total idiots who wouldn’t notice obvious discrepancies and plot holes. It had flagrant disregard and disrespect for the series’ story and lore. It was honestly one of the worst cases I’ve ever seen in that regard. It truly is beyond my understanding me how anyone can defend it.

I mean, Saïx was totally evil and sociopathic for the whole series. He was not humanized in any way, shape, or form. Last we saw of him, he was trying to kill Axel in a psychotic rage. Now, he’s on the clock tower asking for ice cream. There is NOTHING in-between to justify this change.Then he’s happily celebrating with all the good guys in the ending. That Twilight Town scene’s purpose was obviously just to introduce the sequel-bait girl. KH3 didn’t give a single fuck about having Saïx’s character make a lick of sense.So, I’d do the same. I’d ignore his personality in KH3, just like KH3 ignored ALL of his previous story and characterization. And I’d emphasize that he was possessed by Xehanort the whole time in future games.

It was hinted over and over and over again that Isa had his heart captured by Xehanort. He was there against his will and was being controlled. They weren’t even that subtle about it. He was the only one who couldn’t “see” Xion. They devoted an entire secret ending to showing us that he was taken by Young Xehanort before he woke up. He had orange eyes, pointy ears and a scar shaped like a Recusant’s Sigil.His personality changed drastically since they snuck into the castle while mind control experiments just happened to be taking place. Yet in KH3, we are told that he joined Xehanort of his own free will to “atone”. This happens off-screen and is never even directly stated. It’s only hinted at through the Secret Reports. If he has to atone, then he is morally responsible for Saïx’s actions—therefore the implication is that Isa was NOT possessed. Just shameless retconning. Well, what’s the harm in a bit more then?

I’d retcon some new info in to make Isa Subject X and the little girl they were trying to rescue Kairi. Ansem’s Reports were not really written by Ansem, but his apprentice calling himself Ansem. The reports about Subject X can be the same. They were written by Isa, Xehanort and Ansem the Wise, but somebody doctored them as part of a cover-up, or something. I don’t know exactly where KH4 is going with Subject X and the memory experiments, so I can’t say exactly what I would change yet. But at least in KH3, you don’t even have to change the Reports that much to make them fit Isa perfectly. So yeah. She’s not Subject X. He is. Skuld can have her subplot with the memory experiments or whatever. I guess. Honestly, I couldn’t care less about her. But whatever. She’s separate from Subject X. I’d bring back all of the dropped plot threads from BBSV2 if I was in charge.

Seekers of Darkness were directly stated to become another Xehanort when they had his heart implanted within them. We saw Master Xehanort transfer his consciousness to Isa and control him at the end of KH3D. Yet, in KH3, they are all there on a volunteer basis! Demyx just thought it’d be fun to bring about the end of the world, I guess! Musta been a Monday. Plus, we know how much he loved working for the Organization! 

Now all of a sudden, you can just directly implant hearts inside of replicas, and poof! They’re magically human! Before, the concept was that replicas were implanted with memories, akin to installing data on a hard drive. This caused them to develop a sense of self; an unwanted consequence for Xehanort. The heart and memory are intrinsically linked. That’s what Ansem’s research was all about. He interfered in the depths of Terranort’s heart and restored his lost memories, unleashing Ansem Seeker of Darkness upon the worlds.

People can share hearts in this series. All the Seekers of Darkness shared a heart with Xehanort. The fact is that Xion was created from memories of Kairi. She shared Kairi’s heart to experience her emotions. Roxas had fully developed empathy and the ability to wield a Keyblade from the very beginning of Days, because he had Ventus’ heart inside of him the whole time. Unlike Axel, Roxas and Xion didn’t NEED to grow hearts of their own. That’s why Roxas and Xion were called “special” about 10,000 times. They were different from the other members. And it wasn’t because they grew hearts. They already HAD hearts due to their unique circumstances.

Yet, in KH3 the only value Ansem’s data provided was telling Sora that Roxas and Xion’s “hearts” were inside of him. No, the only other heart he had inside of him was Ventus’ heart.The whole point of Re:Coded was that Sora had memories connected to other characters’ hearts inside of him. He was supposed to actually do something about it. But all this was just retconned away, like it never even existed. There was NO point to Re:Coded. But Roxas and Xion are back, so who cares! Besides, it was assumed that we’d be too stupid to realize that it makes no sense!

The Recusant’s Sigil symbolizing death and endings? Never heard of it! It was just retconned away, like it never existed. Well, I’d do the same. Isa and Lea were not apprentices. They were kidnapped and used as test subjects after they snuck into the castle. Why did they say they were apprentices? Who cares, just ignore it. I’m sure they were forced to do some awful things as part of the experiments. Maybe it can be revealed that they said they “became apprentices” as a euphemism for the true horrors they experienced, that are hard to talk about directly. Yeah, it’s total bullshit. But it’s no more bullshit than what KH3 did. Its story required me to ignore ALL of KH3D and ALL of Saïx’s character arc until that point.