#like how much time do you have as the heads of master assassin famines for pet ownership

[silverhalla]

cannot believe that NOBODY has mentioned the ambient dialogue where teia tells viago that he’s starting to look like the dog

what do you MEAN YOU HAVE A DOG TOGETHER

[maplevogel]

RECOMENDATION CHART IF YOU LIKE GIRLS WITH RED HAIR AND INTERESTING WORLD BUILDING (and are willing to watch some AWESOME old animes)

because we get so many new amazing shows that sometimes we forget that there is years of awesome hidden gems that might end up being your fave but that you don’t even know exist.

So lets start! 

A few years ago Akatsuki no yona came out and everyone was surprised by how deep it went into the ruling of the kingdom and political drama. So if you enjoyed this:

But want something with more action, less romance and more on character growth and and political drama (with a side of great world building and a isekai that is NOT a europe medieval fantasy world with a guy that is overpowered ) you might want to check this!:

The 12 kingdoms! 

Youko Nakajima has only ever wanted to be normal. She does what she is asked, gets good grades, is the class president, and even helps her classmates whenever she can—but because of her red hair, she has never fit in. With her pushover attitude, Youko lets classmates take advantage of her, so she has nobody she can really call a friend. But on an otherwise ordinary day, a man who claims to be from another world barges into Youko's classroom and bows before her. This elegant blond-haired man, Keiki, claims that Youko is his master and belongs on the throne of his kingdom. However, their first meeting is cut short as Keiki has been followed by otherworldly beasts called youma. He is able to escape with Youko into his own realm, but two other classmates—Ikuya Asano and Yuka Sugimoto—are caught up in the madness as well. Unfortunately, their troubles have only just begun, as the youma attack leaves them separated from Keiki. Alone in this strange new land, these ordinary students must learn to fend for themselves or die.

But now you actually wanted something with MORE romance and less action but still political drama! 

then nothing will please you more than...AKAGAMI NO SHIRAYUKI HIME!

Although her name means "snow white," Shirayuki is a cheerful, red-haired girl living in the country of Tanbarun who works diligently as an apothecary at her herbal shop. Her life changes drastically when she is noticed by the silly prince of Tanbarun, Prince Raji, who then tries to force her to become his concubine. Unwilling to give up her freedom, Shirayuki cuts her long red hair and escapes into the forest, where she is rescued from Raji by Zen Wistalia, the second prince of a neighboring country, and his two aides. Hoping to repay her debt to the trio someday, Shirayuki sets her sights on pursuing a career as the court herbalist in Zen's country, Clarines. Akagami no Shirayuki-hime depicts Shirayuki's journey toward a new life at the royal palace of Clarines, as well as Zen's endeavor to become a prince worthy of his title. As loyal friendships are forged and deadly enemies formed, Shirayuki and Zen slowly learn to support each other as they walk their own paths.

BUT now you kinda want something with still a new set of different fantasy world building and more medecine and less romance with a bigger focus on a character growing up in front of us into an amazing young woman. 

Then you want KEMONO NO SOUJA ERIN!

In the land of Ryoza, the neighboring provinces of Shin-Ou and Tai-Kou have been at peace. Queen Shinou is the ruler of Ryoza and her greatest general, Grand Duke Taikou, defends the kingdom with his army of powerful war-lizards known as the "Touda." Although the two regions have enjoyed a long-standing alliance, mounting tensions threaten to spark a fierce civil war. Within Ake, a village in Tai-Kou tasked with raising the Grand Duke's army, lives Erin, a bright girl who spends her days watching the work of her mother Soyon, the village's head Touda doctor. But while under Soyon's care, a disastrous incident befalls the Grand Duke's strongest Touda, and the peace that Erin and her mother had been enjoying vanishes as Soyon is punished severely. In a desperate attempt to save her mother, Erin ends up falling in a river and is swept towards Shin-Ou. Unable to return home, Erin must learn to lead a new life with completely different people, all while hunting for the truth of both beasts and humanity itself, with tensions between the two regions constantly escalating.

BUT now you kinda wish you had a story with a mix between all of these with a more serious tone. THEN YOU WANT : SEREI NO MORIBITO

On the precipice of a cataclysmic drought, the Star Readers of the Shin Yogo Empire must devise a plan to avoid widespread famine. It is written in ancient myths that the first emperor, along with eight warriors, slew a water demon to avoid a great drought and save the land that was to become Shin Yogo. If a water demon was to appear once more, its death could bring salvation. However, the water demon manifests itself within the body of the emperor's son, Prince Chagum—by the emperor's order, Chagum is to be sacrificed to save the empire. Meanwhile, a mysterious spear-wielding mercenary named Balsa arrives in Shin Yogo on business. After saving Chagum from a thinly veiled assassination attempt, she is tasked by Chagum's mother to protect him from the emperor and his hunters. Bound by a sacred vow she once made, Balsa accepts. Seirei no Moribito follows Balsa as she embarks on her journey to protect Chagum, exploring the beauty of life, nature, family, and the bonds that form between strangers.

BUT NOW YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO SOMETHING LIGHTER WITH LESS ACTION, MORE ROMANCE BUT STILL A BIT OF POLITICAL DRAMA AND MORE HUMOR. YOU THEN WANT: SAIUNKOKU MONOGATARI.

Most people think being born into a noble family means a life of comfort and wealth. That couldn't be further from the truth for Shuurei Kou. Despite the Kou family being an old and important bloodline, they've fallen on hard times. Shuurei's father works as an archivist in the Imperial library, which is a prestigious position, but unfortunately not one that pays much. To put food on the table, Shuurei works odd jobs such as teaching young children or playing live music in a restaurant―and even then, it's barely enough. Then, one day, a court advisor makes Shuurei an offer. If she becomes the concubine of the new, but lazy, emperor and teaches him how to become a good ruler, then she will receive 500 pieces of gold. Never one to turn down good money, Shuurei accepts the proposition. After all, the new emperor only prefers men so her virtue is safe… or so she thinks. The more time she spends in the palace, the more her old dream of becoming a court official is reignited. There's only one problem: she's a woman and women do not become government officials. Shuurei may be able to turn the emperor into a good ruler, but will it be at the expense of her own aspirations?

and thats it for now! and I still 100% recommend all those anime!

[bells-of-black-sunday]

The seraphic fold master post

Updtaed as of: 6/16/2020

So, the old master post isn’t good at all it’s mostly just Luci, Az, Gabriel, Michael, and Mary facts as opposed to how the fold works and functions, the caste system, social dynamics, etc. I will also be providing and updated list of all the angels that I write that live there along with the date it was updated.

Quick introduction to angels as a species and the fold itself, angels and demons are the same thing, no fall mechanic required. With how the seraphic fold and Burning planes are two neighboring realms that nearly completely overlap, the Seraphic fold is more like a gated community that rejects the idea of being as “low and grimy” as their “savage” cousins. They’re the living embodiment of “you can’t sit with us”.

The burning planes was created and is written by my friend so I will not be making a post on it ehrwh

I. The caste system and social dynamics

The caste system is simple, but the class divides are quite literal with huge guarded walls and gates separating each area. Angelic society is separated into spheres with a ruling class above everyone else. It goes as follows:

The council

First sphere

Second Sphere

Third sphere

The council are the ruling class of angelic society, but they don’t have one ruler. The seraphic fold is infinitely spreading making room for those that are born or reincarnated within’ it’s pristine walls. Each member of the council governs a small portion of the fold making general laws vary quite greatly aside from the constants that were decided when the fold was first manifested, but for the most part the fold is governed by strict social expectations.

1. Murder is prohibited unless you’re challenging the throne, failure to comply will result in execution 

and 

2. The murder and assault of death angels will result in either permanent exile or execution 

The council make their own laws as they see fit for their society, but despite there been quite literally billions of council members only a handful are well known and govern the most populated areas of the fold.  Azrael, Michael, Mary, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Sealtiel, Jehudiel, Barachiel, Samuel, and formerly Lucifer. Lucifer was and still is the most prominent council member in the folds history, he conquered nearly half of the fold before being exiled shortly after the storming of heaven. 

His section of the fold was broken up and given to the members of his council that didn’t take his side during the event, but rulers aren’t elected nor are they born into power. The thrones are constantly being fought over by those looking to get ahead in the first sphere, those that rule have proven themselves as both powerful in battle and worthy of respect.

The first sphere is home to wealthy politicians, the royal guard, merchants, soul collectors, high class chefs, gladiators and the like. It’s high class society is the strictest out of any of the spheres as everyone’s looking for a way to get rid of competition. Political assassins and body guards are a huge portion of the jobs offered in the back alleys, not to mention the dark underbelly of the “servant” trade where many angels are kidnapped from the third sphere to be “house keeps” and “servants” for the upper class. The first sphere is so full of pride and prejudice to the point where if you’re any bit sympathetic towards those below you or interact below you, you will face harsh scrutiny and possible assault. 

But it’s not all bad, the first class has the highest quality of living out of any of the spheres with running water, lighting, an abundance of food, etc. Not to mention the access to various delicacy’s made by soul collectors. Soul collectors are angels that collect the souls of the dead and turn them into fine alcohols, candies, tapestries, silks, cigars, weapons, and jewelry. Just like you’ll see in other sphere’s, there’s a wealth gradient. The further you get to the second sphere the poorer and worse the sphere becomes.

The second sphere is middle to low class, it carries over traits from the first and third sphere, but this is generally where you’re “peasant” jobs are. A lot of them are farmers or handy workers, but there are tailors and cooks here. Food shortages and poverty gets worse and worse as you get back towards the third sphere. These are generally average people who don’t have any extreme magical ability and their ability to collect and see souls isn’t the greatest. They’re just average people trying to make ends meet, it is possible to pull out of this sphere and into the first, but it takes a lot of time and effort, but it’s even easier to fall into the third.

The third sphere is where all those that are exiled and rejected by society end up. There is little possibility of pulling yourself out of here and generally laws don’t apply to those that society has forgotten and/or rejected leaving this section to be guarded by militias. Life in the third sphere is a lot more relaxed and free spirited ruled by rebellion and rejecting social standards despite the huge starvation problem, life has thrived here. But as time passes social unrest grows within’ this sphere making the sign of Lucifer and the removal of wings a sign of rebelling the society they’re oppressed and forgotten by.

Death angels are a huge part of angelic society, they’re angels that carry out Death’s will and thus are considered the highest of angel society and specially protected under Angelic law and thus are always either a part of the council or living within’ the first sphere.

Fashion is a huge part of angelic society it reveals wealth, social status, and job position, thus I will give a quick run down of it.

The council:  Long silks, armor, tight fitting clothing all are common place. The face is usually covered by a mask or hood, wings have been enlarged to give an imposing silhouette. Intimidation is key here as many council members face opponents rather regularly. Black and gold is extremely common place within’ fashion here. Many council members adorn their horns in jewelry. Generally fashions rules are much looser here than most of the other spheres. The lack of wings is an extreme taboo along with the lack of horns.

The first sphere:  Extremely extravagant clothing that often takes appearance over functionality. Masks are common place here along with long feather’s and more than one pair of wings placement varies to being framing the head, middle of the back, shoulder blades, etc. A lot of teal and gold is used in clothing within’ this sphere, the usage of black is reserved strictly for mourning. Jewelry is a must here to flaunt your wealth, wealth is often displayed and flaunted by how much gold and jewels a person wears as they’re quite expensive. The lack of wings is an extreme taboo along with lack of jewelry, clothing, silks, and masks.

The third sphere: The third sphere is often categorized by rebellion and rejecting the social standards of the fold. The removal of wings, horns, hooves, etc. in an effort to look more human is extremely common place, but they never look fully human. Any angels that still have their wings are social outcasts within’ this sphere as they desperately try to fit in with their peers, but they’re also more likely to leave the sphere. Clothing in the third sphere is extremely varied, others might wear only white, other’s black, or vibrant colors, but one thing that’s generally not used is gold. Very rarely is gold used and it’s usually stolen.  Wings, anything that would flaunt wealth is an extreme taboo within’ this sphere.

II. Housing and general aesthetic of the fold

The fold consists of whites, teals, blacks and golds to contrast the bright red veins angels get when angered. Angelic housing is basically like ancient Greek houses, but made out of smooth white marble and extravagant details galore, you get up into mansions as you get into the more wealthy sphere. A lot more gold and black marble or carpet is used in these palaces while common housing tends to either get white marble, wood flooring, or straw. Wealthy people tend to be able to live alone, while as you get further down it’s not uncommon to see multiple families sharing one home or one area of land. Housing isn’t hard to come by, but since the fold is a series of floating islands, it tends to be compact, reaching upward instead of outward.

III. Links + misc facts

Extra links to more info:

Dimensional clusters

Why don’t angels want to look human?

Angel diet kinda

Angels as parents

Angel gentialia (nsfw)

How angels change their body

Gender and pronouns usage

High priests and Apollyon

Nomadic ground dwelling angels

Angels don’t refer to who they’re married to as their spouse, they call them their mate and polyamory is not at all uncommon especially in wealthier sections of the fold where you might want to pool your money together. Divorce also isn’t seen as taboo or uncommon

Angels do reproduce sexually, yes, but since angels can shape aspects of their appearance however they want, gender isn’t seen as anything that’s worth talking about, everyone can have children if they choose to so even what’s in your pants doesn’t matter

Societal pressure tends to keep angels having the same appearance in everything but the third sphere, lack of facial features aside from the occasional shown eyes, horns, hooves, claws, and tails. 

Every angel is born with one set of wings, but while angels can choose to grow more, once they’re torn from their sockets the tissues too scarred to grown another pair leaving them permanently grounded.

Angels reach sexual maturity at one hundred years of age, but they have been known to leave home earlier than that.

Angels are immortal in the sense that they don’t die from old age, but disease, famine, etc. can all kill them

People do reincarnate in the fold and it’s basically a toss of the dice where they’ll end up when they do

IIII. Angel master list 

aka angels I write on this blog or if people make angels and want to be added to the list I’ll add them and link their blog/whatever

last updated 6/16/2020

Abaddon

Azrael

Lucifer

Mary

Michael

Rose

Apollyon

Lilith

[sesshatetsuko]

Rurouni Kenshin Fanfiction : See you in life Beyond -Chapter 3-

Summary : For as long as he remembers, life had never been easy for him. So when carefully-buried memories are brutally awakened, the worst can happen… *A long canon post-Jinchuu story, including most of RK’s main characters, depicting how Kenshin tries to survive his inner demons, and how he and Kaoru finally became a family…*

Link for Chapter 1 : https://sesshatetsuko.tumblr.com/post/178514684317/rurouni-kenshin-fanfiction-see-you-in-life

Link for Chapter 2 : https://sesshatetsuko.tumblr.com/search/fanfiction%20chapter%202

Chapter 3: First glimmers of evil

It was one of spring's first sunny week in the new capital, after a fourth season which had proved to be labored that year. This morning, only the last sighs of winter's chills were still being felt, and the dew perched on budding leaves was sliding to the ground with the help of a slight wind.

Every inhabitant of the Kamiya dojo -including its brawler and its wanderer- was busy with its favorite task : Kenshin was doing the laundry, Kaoru was chasing her disciple through the yard, Yahiko was being chased by his assistant master, and Sanosuke aka the brawler was chewing obsolete remains of a fish carcass while waiting anxiously for mealtime.

"Phew ..."

The former Sekihotai let out a sigh, dusting his jacket with a lascivious gesture. His belly was clearly yelling famine.

"Hey Jou-chan, when ya're finished with the shoutin' match, could ya tell me if there's somethin' to eat 'round here?"

Sanosuke Sagara had the nasty habit of giving nicknames to most people who were hanging around him, as if calling someone by his first name suddenly risked causing him in an oh-so-fatal form of spontaneous combustion. So Kaoru was Jou-chan, Megumi was Kitsune, Saito had inherited of the wolf and Yahiko-CHAN was self-sufficient.

"Why you..."

Kaoru suddenly stopped her race to point a finger at the streetfigther.

"How dare you even speak of that?! Don't you know you can bring food and cook it by yourself like a grown man, instead of always complaining!? "

Her eyes spoke of hell's chasms and sulfurous vengeance. Sanosuke took a preventive step back, and Yahiko, glad that the attention was momentarily diverted from him, took this opportunity to move to a safe place – which happened to be in that case right behind Kenshin's back. He knew from experience that the situation could quickly deteriorate ...

"Maa maa do not argue," said the wanderer, pulling his hands out of the soapy water. "This one will take care of it as soon as he finishes the laundry, that he will."

Strangely enough, Himura was revealing in repetitive daily chores, as if to compensate for the chaos that had been his life so far. Except for a few intimate friends, most people who knew him back in the days of Bakumatsu did not understand that a former cold-blooded assassin, in this case a patriotic leader occupying a key position in the revolution, could be satisfied with such a routine.

A simple, normal family life... he has probably never known that before, thought Kaoru whose gaze softened at the sight of the samurai humbly hunched over the basin, sleeves rolled up, a patient smile on his face. The soapy bubbles were going up to his elbows and formed a frothy beard under the cheek where he had previously wiped his hand.

"I'm glad to know ya're the one making miso today, Kenshin," Sanosuke continued. "Haven't recovered yet from last time Jou-chan cooked and my guts literally tried to get out of my tummy!"

"What the hell..."

The young kendoka's eyes flashed instantly. Kenshin could have sworn he saw drool running down her chin.

"... I feed you for FREE and that's all you have to s-"

"Is tha' a reason for trying to poison me ?!" the accused rebuked, pointing at her too (yes, Sanosuke sometimes had suicidal tendencies).

"It's true that you aren't spoiled by nature busu ; as thin as a plate and unable to bake anything edible... "Yahiko rectified, feeling compelled to place a comment to calm the situation, always bravely sheltered behind the wanderer.

"A little respect for your master! RHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA "

Thus Kenshin -or rather his face- received a boken, two stools, five bowls, and three daikons. His defence resulted in :

"Orororororooooo ..."

"Kenshin, I'm so sorry!"

Kaoru realized too late that the red-collapsed form on the floor was innocent, and rushed to his side.

"Yare yare," said Kenshin, rubbing his head, "This one is fine, Kaoru-dono."

The samurai could have easily dodged each of her projectiles, even catching them flying and sending them back in one movement. The stool by the way, properly launched, could have made a nice whiplash injury ... But Kenshin was uncomfortable with showing his talents of former assassin, acquired in a context as painful as macabre, nor to use his incredible capacities in a harmless environment that did not require it. Note also that Kaoru was a proud master of kendo who did not deserve in the eyes of the wanderer to be humiliated or discouraged by such behavior. Above all, the mere idea that his beloved might one day be afraid of him or feel physically threatened, and therefore begin to act cautiously around him, was enough to make him feel nauseous.

As he got up, he did not fail to accidentally brush Kaoru's hand, whose face immediately went through six distinct shades of scarlet. The two lovers got up as quickly as possible, spending the next few minutes trying not to look clumsy.

A classic day, in other words.

A little too much maybe...

"...Excuse me?"

All heads turned towards the entrance gate of the dojo where a young man was standing, his black hair strictly brushed, dressed in a navy uniform trimmed with white at the ends of the sleeves. It was cut short at the level of legs, revealing sober satin shoes on which were mirroring perfectly the metal sheath of his saber.

"Can I help you?"

The mistress of the dojo approached the newcomer, who did politely salute in return.

"Agent Kyosuke, I wish to see Himura-san," he informed, "I have a letter from Officer Fujita to give him."

"If you look for him, this one is here," The wanderer instinctively took place between Kaoru and the stranger before greeting him quickly, taking the paper directly from his hands.

"So what does it say?  "asked Yahiko, who had instantly hurried to join the three adults.

"It's a letter from Saito..." Himura mumbled as he was decrypting the katakana lines. He did not answer more, focused on reading the document.

"Huh, that's all...? Don't keep the information for you!"

While the unique pupil of Kamiya Kasshin was starting the well-known dance of 'plz-tell-me-I-need-to-know' and Sanosuke was discreetly asking the postman if he did not have some money to lend him before realizing at the same time that he was instead a policeman, Kaoru was watching closely the samurai whose dorsal muscles had momentarily tensed.

"Can I see it...?" She said, gently slipping her head over his shoulder.

He crushed the paper in his hands.

"...What's the matter?"

The expression on Kenshin's face froze, then a cautious smile crawled across it.

"Saito asks this one for help on a mission."

"Well?"

"This one does not really know what it is for now. We'll see that later, that we will," he said, crouching again in front of the wet basin." Agent Kyosuke, please convey to Officer Fujita that he can count on this one's help. "

"Understood, Mr Himura. He will be delighted to hear that. "

With that, the policeman withdrew and the wanderer resumed its work, showing obvious attention on the cleaning of a hakama, returning exactly where he had stopped it before being interrupted by all this fuss. His mind, however, never really returned to the task at hand.

Seijuro Hiko completed his furoshiki in no time.

A spare outfit, his purse, equipment to sharpen his katana if necessary and of course his faithful jar of saké hanging on his belt. Nothing else was needed to cruise the roads. Of pragmatic nature, the master never cared about such insignificant material details.

Honestly, he was far from pleased to go on another trip. The mere thought of confronting this stinking, swarming and uneducated mass that the people outside his forest were was enough to give the hermit heartburn. Unlike his disciple who had wandered most of his life, Seijuro was rarely leaving his mountain. As for that terrible intuition that he'd had about him... Hiko still did not understand what that meant, but after spending several days running around in his hut trying to solve the impossible equation, he had reluctantly resolved to leave. In almost forty years his instinct had never deceived him.

In haste, the thirteenth master of Hiten Mitsurugi began his journey to Tokyo ...

In the middle of the night Kaoru was awakened by moans-like noises. Enjoying busy days, it was rare for Kamiya Kasshin's master to be a light sleeper.

What the...?

It was almost three o'clock in the morning and the neighborhood's streets were theoretically empty at this hour. As she focused on her hearing, she had the feeling that they were coming from the place where the samurai slept. Had he shouted so loudly as to pull her out of her sleep? Or was her audition playing tricks on her?

Whatever... I cannot take the risk of something happening to Kenshin.

Rather than thinking about this subject blindly, she decided to endure the coldness of the night, and stood up. The young kendoka feverishly put on her yukata before lighting a candle of wax, then discretely opened the next room's door...

Curled up on the edge of the futon, makura ejected on the floor, Kenshin was twisting around furiously in his bed. The cover was unstructured to the point of discovering his torso, riddled with scars. Although unconscious, the wanderer was aimlessly opening and closing his lips, as if talking to the wooden ground. And, to her surprise, he did not seem to be aware of her presence at all this time. She kept her ears open.

"Tomoe..."

His face was fully contracted.

... He's speaking in his sleep?

"Tomoe"

His arms were moving in all directions. He turned his head again, his features marred by the expression of intense pain. The kendo teacher was watching him with a mix of astonishment and horror.

"K-Ka ... o ... ru ..."

Grabbing his skull in his hands, he almost tore a bunch of red hair with his grip. The young woman felt her heart tighten.

Is he dreaming of our deaths...?

Her decision was made... She entered the room, knelt beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. He was cold but covered in sweat.

"Kenshin. I'm here, "she whispered," I'm fine ... "

The wanderer did not react, his eyelids still vigorously closed.

"I'm here," she continued, shaking him slightly.

"No..."

He was biting his lips so hard that a discrete trickle of blood escaped from them.

"Nooooooo ..."

He doesn't hear me ...

All the while struggling he continued to moan, contracting his muscles at a strenuous pace. Despite the repeated words and gestures of the young woman, nothing was enough to wake him up. Kaoru continued for a few minutes before giving up.

It's no use. He's gone too far ...

She didn't want to shake him too badly either. The wanderer needed rest. Reluctantly, she closed the shoji of the room and silently went back to her own bed. Falling anew into the arms of Morpheus was hard enough that night, for the young woman was saddened to see the former Ishin Shishi still fighting the endless demons of his past. He would never tell her about those in the morning, but she suspected his nightmares to be much more frequent than what they actually could see...

The samurai, for his part, continued to struggle violently against his invisible enemies. After a few minutes, he finally seized the guard of his sword, which contact was frozen.

"NO!"

Kenshin awoke abruptly. His whole body was shaking. Tears were running down his cheeks and his heart was beating wildly. Only the silence and the cold twilight of the night surrounded him, but his mind was still engulfed in the long-winded abyss of his memory. He took several minutes to realize that he was just in his room. And that all this was only a vision.

He waited until his body stopped shaking. Let the tears stop flowing. He dropped his blanket, took his katana and stood up.

Enough sleep for this night.

Kenshin entered the police officer's desk directly without being announced, causing a panic attack to the receptionist he had greeted nonetheless. The tyrannical Goro Fujita was particularly meticulous about procedures, and that included the one about never disturbing him without warning.

Mibu's wolf and former patriot were staring at each other.

"Saito."

"Himura."

"I received your letter."

"Well, that'll save me a boring speech."

"Tell this one the facts."

When they were both alone, their relationship was fundamentally different. Patience and politeness were out of place between former adversaries who had exchanged more saber blows than greetings.

"You're even more irritable than usual Battosai ..."

The former Shinsengumi silently noted the rings under the indigo eyes of the redhead. He grabbed a large blue binder resting on his desk, from which ink-filled leaves were partly coming out. And began to peel them...

"The facts, Saito," repeated the wanderer.

"You are therefore aware that the police of Tokyo, Kyoto and even Osaka are investigating a large-scale case of disappearance ..."

He took out a document, where colorless portraits were drawn.

"Children, precisely."

Himura winced.

"Hm. And what do you expect from me, exactly?"

"Nothing."

Saito took a breath from his cigarette. The wanderer was nervously touching the handle of his weapon.

"Nothing so far, I just want you to keep wide-open eyes around you."

"This one is already doing so."

"...And to report any suspicious behavior to me," the officer finished.

Himura nodded. The officer put the bundle down carefully. Even sorting out the news sent by Kyoto forces had asked him a considerable amount of time.

"When I'll have a need for you to intervene, I'll call you back," Saito concluded, turning his back to the window. "For now, I don't have any more information."

The wanderer did not need to be asked twice.

"Understood, this one does not like this kind of case either."

[silverwhisp-headcannons-blog]

Fan Made Injustice/ MKX Style Intros 2:

Intros/Clashes Batman/ Jaune Arc Introduction 1: Batman: Why should I train you? You can barely fight. Jaune: It doesn’t matter if I can beat you. I will stand up to you. Batman: Alright. Lesson one. Introduction 2: Jaune: People find that costume scary? Batman: What do you think? Jaune: To be honest. It’s kind of dorky. Introduction 3: Batman: You’re still holding in the anger towards her. Jaune: Cinder will pay. Batman: Anger consumed Jason. I won’t let that happen again. Clash 1: Jaune: I’m doing better than I thought. Batman: You’re learning. Clash 2: Batman: Use the shield as a weapon as well. Jaune: I’m trying. Raiden/ Korra Introduction 1: Raiden: I sense great spiritual energy within you. Korra: His name is Raava if you’re curious Raiden. Raiden: Let us see if you are worthy of his trust. Introduction 2: Korra: My world has a Raiden to. Raiden: Does he serve his elder gods? Korra: No. He’s one of six beings that protect the world. Introduction 3: Raiden: You remind me of Jacqui Briggs. Korra: Yeah. I can see why. Raiden: Lets us see if you’re just as skilled. Clash 1: Raiden: You are indeed powerful. Korra: So are you. Clash 2: Korra: Wouldn’t be the first time I beat a god. Raiden: Impressive. War/ Cecada Introduction 1: War: I did not know mortals could wield a blade like my own. Cecada: And I thought the horsemen were a myth. Looks like we’re both surprised. War: We are more than just a mere myth. Introduction 2: Cecada: We have something in common, horseman. War: What could you have in common with me other than weapon choice? Cecada: I was betrayed by my master to. Introduction 3: War: This ‘Ozpin’ says you’re one of the most skilled hunters alive. Cecada: I could be. But I haven’t met all of them. War: Let us spar and see if it is true. Clash 1: War: You are indeed strong. Cecada: Right back at ya. Clash 2: Cecada: So. What do you think? War: You are quite skilled mortal. Death/ Connor Arcadia Introduction 1: Death: You wield scythes as well human? Connor Arcadia: Technically it’s a shield first then scythes. Death: Interesting. Introduction 2: Connor Arcadia: My semblance lets me see all sin and guilt you know. Death: Then you see what I have done. Connor Arcadia: But you regret it. That’s what makes you better. Introduction 3: Death: You do not fear me? Connor Arcadia: Death comes for us all. Just not today. Death: *Chuckle* I respect your courage human. Clash 1: Death: Not as nimble as me. Connor Arcadia: Sorry I can’t do three flips in the air. Clash 2: Connor Arcadia: Damn you’re almost as fast as Ruby. Death: If I ate that many sweets I would be just as fast. Fury/ Pyrrha Introduction 1: Fury: Polarity? What does that mean human? Pyrrha: I can manipulate magnetism and use it to control metal. Fury: Fascinating. Let us test this power. Introduction 2: Pyrrha: I thought it was Death, War, Pestilence, and Famine. Fury: *Chuckles* But Famine and Pestilence lead to Death, no? Pyrrha: Makes sense. But, what about Conquest? Introduction 3: Fury: I’ve always liked you humans. Pyrrha: Keep being friendly and we’ll like you to. Fury: So smart and brave. Even against unfathomable odds. Clash 1: Fury: Your skill is surprising. Pyrrha: Well. Thank you? Clash 2: Pyrrha: Never underestimate an opponent. Fury: That stops now. Ezio Aduitore/ Deathstroke Introduction 1: Ezio: So, you’re the most skilled Assassin of your time? Deathstroke: So, what if I am? Ezio: The standards for that title have fallen. Introduction 2: Deathstroke: There are legends about you. Ezio: Then you should know what you’re up against. Deathstroke: Let’s see if legend equals fact. Introduction 3: Ezio: Who brought me here and away from Roma!? Deathstroke: As if I would tell you. Ezio: Then I will beat the answer from you. Clash 1: Ezio: Seems you’re struggling. Deathstroke: I’m not done with you yet. Clash 2: Deathstroke: Seems the legends were wrong. Ezio: *Chuckles* No.They weren’t. Blake Belladonna/ Catwoman Introduction 1: Blake: You’re a thief? Catwoman: It sounds so bad when you say it like that. Blake: Why fluff up the truth? Introduction 2: Catwoman: You sure you don’t want to join me? Blake: I was a criminal once. Never again. Catwoman: Alright, have it the painful way. Introduction 3: Blake: How could you side with Superman? Catwoman: When you get tortured you can judge me. Blake: What makes you think I wasn’t? Clash 1: Blake: You’re missing. Catwoman: Damn doppelgangers. Clash 2: Catwoman: This will be the Purr-fect ending. Blake: Oh oum. Another cat pun. Hellboy/ Dante Introduction 1: Hellboy: Half demon half human? Dante: Yep. And the best demon slayer around. Hellboy: Man, what an ego. Introduction 2: Dante: You’re not like the other demons are you? Hellboy: What gave it away pal? Dante: Well the smartass mouth is one dead giveaway. Introduction 3: Hellboy: You really want to team up? Dante: Yeah! We both have good looks. What’s not to love? Hellboy: Well when you put it that way. Clash 1: Hellboy: Those weapons are crazy. Dante: Have you seen your hand? Clash 2: Dante: You’re almost as strong as Mundus. Hellboy: Who the hell is that? Superman/ Adam Taurus Introduction 1: Superman: You don’t belong here! Adam: For an alien, you sound so much like humans. Superman: I gave you a warning. Introduction 2: Adam: I’m impressed you corralled the humans so easily. Superman: Make no mistake. I’d corral your kind to. Adam: And here I thought I found an ally. Introduction 3: Superman: Finally, someone who understands how the world is. Adam: Humans are weak and scared things. Superman: Maybe I should see if you are good enough to join my team. Clash 1: Superman: I wonder how much force you can take. Adam: Much more. Clash 2: Adam: Just as weak as the humans. Superman: You’re making a mistake! Thor/ Raiden Introduction 1: Thor: Thou claims to be the god of thunder? Raiden: One of many I’m sure. Thor: Lets us test your might then! Introduction 2: Raiden: Do you protect Earth Realm to? Thor: We call it Midgard but yes I do. Raiden: Let us see if you are worthy to be its protector. Introduction 3: Thor: Do you not wish to try and pick up my hammer? Raiden: Mjolnir chose its wielder. And it chose well. Thor: Let us test our power than Raiden! Have at thee! Clash 1: Thor: Its seems our powers do not work. Raiden: Then skill decides it! Clash 2: Raiden: I will protect the mortals. Thor: Prove it to me! Gabriela Angela/ Cyborg Introduction 1: Gabriela: Interesting. My semblance can’t control you. Cyborg: My firewalls are impenetrable. Gabriela: Then I will beat you into submission. Introduction 2: Cyborg: What’s your deal anyway? Gabriela: I fight evil. That’s why I’m fighting you. Cyborg: We are not evil. Introduction 3: Gabriela: It’s a shame someone like you has fallen. Cyborg: All my friends died in Metropolis. Gabriela: That is no excuse for your evil deeds. Clash 1: Gabriela: Your fire wall is cracking. Cyborg: You’re not getting in my head. Clash 2: Cyborg: Who trained you? Gabriela: Myself! Lady/ Red Hood Introduction 1: Lady: You just kill criminals? Red Hood: Not all criminals to be fair. Lady: I wasn’t criticizing. Introduction 2:

Red Hood: Have enough guns Lady? Lady: Hm… Nope. I want yours. Red Hood: Come and try to take them. Introduction 3: Lady: You should be fighting Superman. Red Hood: Batman wouldn’t let me kill him Lady: Oh. Maybe you should make a Dark League. Clash 1: Lady: I thought you’d be better. Red Hood: Shut up and get beat down. Clash 2: Red Hood: Maybe we should get pizza after. Lady: Did you just ask me on a date?! Nora Valkyrie/ Harley Quinn Introduction 1: Nora: We should break Superman’s legs! Harley Quinn: How about slaps and tickles at ten paces? Nora; Oh! Breaking his face is even better! Introduction 2: Harley Quinn: You and Ren are so cute together. Nora: We’re not together, together. Harley Quinn: Boring! You totally should be! Introduction 3: Nora: Stop! Harley Quinn: Hammer time! Nora: *Laughs* So funny! Clash 1: Nora: Where’s your big red nose? Harley Quinn: Not that kind of clown. Clash 2: Harley Quinn: I like your hammer better. Nora: Get your own.

[shadow-acolyte]

A small drabbled written with @lombra-dalla

The Harvest Season

Beyond the training grounds of the defiled Kinkou Monastery, there was a lonely terrace, one he had claimed for his own, where no other acolyte would dare to venture. A short wall similar to a stone fence surrounded the area like a quiet warning to those who had survived their trespassing of the forest.

Kayn rested his shoulders on the stones as he overlooked the soft Ionian hills and the forest below. The wind had changed in the last weeks, the warmth of the Summer had become a distant, almost forgotten memory, just as the color of the leaves, once vibrant in color now paled into withering shades.

Rhaast had been placed next to him, horizontal on the wall like a discarded and bored tool.

A single leaf whirled in the cold air and caressed the red skin of his corrupted arm, to then be picked up between his thumb and index as he stared at it through heavy-lidded eyes.

“You are strangely quiet today". Rhaast’s voice interrupted his thoughts, the evil eye scanning the falling, withered leaves on the trees. Rhaast had almost forgotten how easily changed the world around them, almost without him to notice. It was hard to do so when you were an eternal being who had lived for eons.

“No acolytes to torment, no victims to kill… Is it the weather? Did your master scold you when I wasn’t looking?”

“Scolded? Don’t be foolish.” Kayn retorted as his hand flicked, releasing the leaf. But instead of glaring at Rhaast, the assassin stared off into the pale green of the hills.

“This is the season of harvest and death. Can’t you sense it? Nature is fading, everyone in Ionia knows it, just like the…” His words silenced as the memories darkened his mind. The villages around Rokrund and their festivities, their dreadful folklore, distant tales as leaves fell in noxian land.

“Nature perishes at the gates of winter. I appreciate the view of things dying, even if it’s a false death", the darkin commented, humming softly in an almost charming tune. Still, when he perceived the thoughts on Kayn’s mind, Rhaast regained his usual cruelty.

“Are you being reminded of your old noxian home? How was it? I am curious. Let me see in what kind of lair did you live”.

The tendrils of his consciousness slowly started to dig into Kayn’s mind, searching for those memories brought to the surface thanks to the season.

“There is nothing to hide”, Kayn hissed the moment he sensed the invasive mind of the darkin scavenging for a weakness. And to prove his words, he didn’t retaliate, Rhaast was allowed to wander.

The darkin did so, with a vivid curiosity. And as he picked up the images of the noxian countryside, Kayn accompanied them with his tale.

“I was born in a nation of despair. War and supplying war was the purpose of all Noxian. Even more in the rural areas.” His eyes closed, tilting his head to the side with his eyes closed. The fragrance of autumn spices lingered in the wind, stirring those memories to life.

“”Corn and grain, all that falls shall rise again”. It was a lie. Nothing the Noxians touched could rise again. The harvest moon was the favourite season for Rokrund. It made the foolish feel relevant and valuable to the Empire. After giving their crops and children to the army, the days turned gray and the gloom spread like a miasma. It was the favored season for disease and suicide. The wind carried the wicked message of death”

Kayn’s eyes opened again, cold and unfeeling. “But what can you know about seasons if you spent eons buried beneath the soil until they found you when trying to build a sewer.”

“Seasons existed before I was confined, you know”, Rhaast almost laughed at the naivety of his wielder. “But for us, they didn’t hold much importance. Seasons died one after another in an eternal cycle, like mortal beings... but we remained, forever unchanging. There’s not much to regard in something that perishes so easily, that goes away so quickly”.

“A bad harvest would only mean a winter of famine and a dishonor to the noxian army. Many would not survive it. There was no cycle, only an endless need to feed the Empire, but even then…, there were traditions.”

Remembering them even left a strange taste in his tongue, surprisingly not bitter, but fragrant and tingling.

“It was a season when death was remembered, no one wanted to be visited by the wandering dead before the harvest, as it would mean the withering of the fields. Naap seeds were left as offerings in doorsteps so the spirits would take them and leave,.”

“The undead…”, said Rhaast, and in his voice there was a tint of disgust. “Could some weak charms really cast them away?”

“I find your distaste towards the undead amusing.” Kayn’s lips curved into a small sneer. “Are you afraid of what you cannot kill? Yes, the dead are remembered, but in a different way to the Ionian traditions. Here, the spirits of the ancestors return to nature and become protectors of the households. In Noxus, there is an innate fear of death. Death, defeat, to die forgotten…”

“I am not afraid", the darkin protested, clearly insulted that his wielder could think otherwise. “They are just annoying, that’s all. Things that die should stay dead".

Kayn looked up, enjoying that small weakness Rhaast had once again revealed.

“Travelling after dark was not advised. Even if the villagers always carried a lantern, it was impossible to tell who was a man and who was not…, or at least, not until it was too late. Some even tried burying apples at the sides of the roads for the lost spirits who had no descendants to remember them. But do you think that was enough?”

“I bet my toe it wasn’t. Vengeful spirits are not easily appeased. Specially not with half rotten naaps".

“That’s true, it was never enough. So the villagers attempted something different. If they could not appease the spirits, they would forcefully protect themselves from them. And so the idea of fire was considered. This was the time when the cattle and other livestock were slaughtered for eating in the ensuing winter months. The days of the season were spiced with the stench of blood, the gutting of pigs.” Kayn paused, looking at Rhaast which stared back at him, the round, crystalline eyeball half covered by that strange fleshy eyelid, almost glaring at him. The assassin knew the undead had a peculiar effect on the darkin.

“The bones of the slaughtered were used to fuel the fires. Then they were thrown into the fire, to be retrieved in the morning. The remains between the ashes foretold  a person’s fortune in the coming year. However…, if nothing was left then it meant the spirits would return before the next Spring as they had not been repelled by the sacred fires.  And that is how the idea of bon-fires started.” Kayn’s eyes shadowed beneath the black and blue bangs, his lips stretched into an eerie grin.

“The angered spirits would return and steal the bodies of those who dared defy them, casting them forever in the DARKNESS!” At his command, the twilight shadows, awakened and coiled around Rhaast’s blade and head, a black shroud engulfed his eyeball.

“How melodramatic”, sighed the darkin, as his body was being swallowed by shadows. By this point, he was almost used to it. “You are a child”.

And the shadows stopped, half covering him. Kayn glared through heavy-lidded eyes, visibly irritated.

“You were supposed to scream. At least, the other acolytes did…” He would have yet to admit that season was his favourite. Shadows felt alive, his deep connection with them translated into a strange good mood. He regretted such festival didn’t exist in Ionia.

[cameoamalthea]

Half-Dragons

In the DnD campaign my husband is running we are going to visit a village of half-dragons. In D&D a half-dragon is a cross between a dragon and some other unrelated creature. Also in D&D, certain types of dragons are evil.

One of our player characters was given a quest to get black dragon scales and green dragon scales. Rather than fighting one of those types of dragons our party is going to visit the half-dragon village, a commune in the Dark Forest where half-dragons outcast by society have formed a colony/retreat.  

Black Dragons: The vile tempered and cruel of all evil dragons. They are sadistic, even preferring to eat sentient beings so they can enjoy their food suffering, and above all love cruelty and hurting others alongside ruin and misfortune. 

Green Dragons: The most cunning and treacherous of all evil dragons. They are master manipulators who revel in corrupting people and/or hoarding them like possessions. They enjoy bending others to their will, betraying/tricking others, lying, manipulation, and eating elves.  

So these sorts of dragons don’t seem like they would be very good parents or very good romantic partners so that begs a ‘how did that happen?’ For any green or black half dragon and the DM wasn’t sure, so I offered to come up with some back stories.

So if you like messed up back stories, here are our 3 Green Half-Dragons and 1 Black Half-Dragon and 1 White Half-Dragon 

Corradinus (Corry) Bognár

Race: Black Half-Dragon, Half-Human

(Warning: This is very dark. TW rape, death, torture, attempted infanticide/child abuse)

Corry’s mother, Lady Ravenna, was the daughter of a powerful noblemen whose father, Count Bognar rebelled against his league lord, the Duke, who then laid seigue to his keep. The war was made worse by flooding, which led to failed harvests and famine. With his people starving, Count Bagnar was forced to surrender and the Duke set fire to keep to teach the Count a lesson about rebellion. The Count’s family, along with a few trusted servants fled, eventually turning to the treacherous swamp lands for refuge from the Duke’s men.

It was there the dragon found them.

Cory’s father, Mergandevinsander, was a black dragon who lived in the dreaded swamp lands which surrounded Count Bognar’s land. Like all black dragons he was evil and sadistic. When he came upon the refuges he killed them. Slowly.

Ravenna watched as her mother was swallowed alive and her nurse-maid half melted by the dragon’s acid breathe. All the while the dragon taunted her of the pain he had in store for her. She tried to bargain with him, promising it the wealth of her father’s keep (and hoping to lead it to the Duke’s forces where one foe might destroy the other at least). The dragon agreed, if only give her false hope. When they returned to the keep it was a ruin and there was nothing there of value. Ravenna saw her father’s head mounted above what was left of the gate and lost all will to live.

“Just kill me” said Ravenna.

“No”

Rather than allowing her to escape her pain Mergandevinsander transformed himself into the likeness of the Duke and raped the girl.

The dragon made the ruins his home, and was soon joined by a band of kobolds who served him there, and kept the girl as a toy for a time. When Ravenna became pregnant he kept her under watch and had his kobolds care for her. He wanted to see her face when the she saw the thing she gave birth too.

When she was closer to the end of her pregnancy he let her go. Let her wander pregnant and cursed, unable to seek help without any who helped her seeing the thing growing inside her.

When her baby was born Ravenna was so horrified at the sight of it she through it into a river. Miraculously, or perhaps due to his black dragon heritage, the baby survived and was found by a Priest of Ilmater.

Given that Ilmater is the god of compassion. The clergy dedicated themselves to providing healing and succor to all in need, whatever the cost to themselves, as they believed life was sacred and that suffering to preserve it was holy. Given that, the priest had pity, even for a child such as this.  

With the baby was a scroll, a final letter from his mother asking his forgiveness for what she about to do and explaining the circumstances of his birth.

Corradinus was raised in a monastery as a cleric of Ilmater and later dedicated himself to learning combat so that he could defend the weak, specializing in non-lethal techniques and sparing his opponents pain where possible.

Class: One level of cleric, the rest Monk

Personality:

Although Black Dragons are knows for being the most evil-tempered and vile of all dragons, Dinus is perhaps the most sweet-tempered and kind of all half-dragons. He is generous, friendly and helpful. He is very devoted to his god Ilmater and tries to embody the tenant’s of his faith. He also enjoys the idea of being a dashing hero, favoring a rapier as his weapon and doing his best to be gallant and charming.

Appearance: Think Night-Crawler but black and with scales, and violet eyes 

Blerta Song

Race: Half Green Dragon, Half-Gnome

(Warning: Weird Kinks, Sexual Harassment)

Her father, Hamnet Von Kinky-Gnome, had a lot of fetishes (possibly all of them). Being a gnome was fortunate because one of his major kinks was larger women. He also had a thing for scales. It was very fortunate Hamnet lived in a world where larger creatures and sentient creatures with scales existed.

Unfortunately, most creatures don’t enjoy being fetishized, especially not by creepy gnomes.

In many ways, that’s why, the green dragon Verthandantalynx was perfect for Hamnet. When the villagers of Trenahess, who worshipped the green dragon, offered Hamnet as a sacrifice to her, his response was:

“vore me mommy”

Verthandantalynx found this incredibly creepy and off putting, and asked:

“Seriously?What is wrong with you?” 

Before clarifying that she wasn’t going to eat him if he was turned on by it (because that would be weird). He informed her that there wasn’t a thing she could do that wouldn’t turn him on. 

He then proceeded to tell her how beautiful she was and how wonderful she was in every way. Her vanity, and green dragons are very vain creatures, eventually overcame her discomfort. Although there was no challenge in bending the gnome to her will, having a willing and adoring pet seemed like it could be fun for awhile…

She she laid a clutch of tiny (for her) eggs and sent Hamnet away because he shouldn’t be anywhere near children. Only one of the eggs hatched and from that egg was born a baby green half-dragon. She gave the baby to her followers to raise, and they named her Blerta.

The dragon instructed her worshippers to raise Blerta and make sure ‘she doesn’t turn out like her father.’ So she was raised to be the most proper and pure maiden possible, and as a teenager was given a Paladan who was a member of the order Beloved of Lurue. These followers of the unicorn goddess Lurue take a vow of chastity, and the villagers figured that joining an all female order of virgins sworn to forsake earthly bonds would keep Blerta from turning out like her father. 

The Paladan, for her part, thought that adopting a tiny half-dragon girl sounded a lot better than being fed to much less tiny mother. As far as being captured by an evil dragon worshipping cult goes, adopting a teenage girl is not the worst outcome. 

Upon learning that the girl’s name was Blerta Song, the Cleric’s unicorn companion, Silver, suggested dropping by the bard’s college to get the girl music lessons, because ‘can you imagine a Bard named Blerta Song?’ 

Class: Paladan/Bard

Personality:  “Lurue teaches that life is there to be lived, and one should live it with zest and flair. Adventures and quests should be taken on a whim and life should be filled with good times and laughter.” Blerta enjoys singing with cute woodland creatures and writing songs about the forest. She is a bit vain, being raised as the sacred child of the dragon her village worshipped and can be bossy. She enjoys attention. However, the core of her religious devotion is goodness, kindness and chastity.  

Appearance: Chibi green dragon monster-girl 

Midori Takehiko

Race: Half-Green Dragon, Half-High Elf 

(Warning: Discussion of Sexuality, strong language)

Midori’s mother was an elven princess named Aoi, who was offered as a sacrifice to the Green Dragon Claugiyliamatar. While green dragons generally enjoy eating elves, Claugiyliamatar was intrigued by Aoi’s fearlessness and cunning. She saw in her a useful servant and the two became fast friends. 

In short, they were both cunning, manipulative bitches who likes the idea of power and freedom. Claugiyliamatar could transform a dragon into a human using magic and of all her kind was perhaps the most gifted at changing shape. She took Aoi as a lover, offering whatever form the elf princess preferred. Since Claugiyliamatar could shape shift, when Aoi suggested using a strap-on she simply altered anatomy. This led to a discussion about having children, which Aoi wanted as she liked the idea of having someone who would love her absolutely. 

So Midori was born to an evil interspecies lesbian couple and raised to be a cunning princess.

Class: Rogue Assassin/Monk 

Personality: Think Loki meets Azula

Appearance: Green Half-Dragon

Thanth Halen

(Half Green Dragon, Half-Human)

(Warning: None really, bad names and kidnapping I guess)

His father, Led Axle Halen, was a famous bard who toured across the land, beloved by all, and his music caught the attention of a Green dragon, Fll'Yissetat, who kidnapped him as her personal pet/music. She herself had once been held captive for a time and informed him that meant she ‘didn’t want to hear him complain about it.’ If he wanted for company, she could give it to him. Since he missed the company of his groupies, he agreed.  

Their offspring, Thanth, inherited more human characteristics. He is incredibly muscular and handsome. He also inherited his father’s musical talent. 

Class: Bard/Barbarian 

Personality: Viking God of Rock

Appearance: Muscular man with long hair, muscular arms, green dragon wings and horns like a green dragon. He is very sexy. 

Ed Snowflake 

Race: Half White Dragon, Half Orc

No one is quite sure how this happened, as white dragons are feral, vicious and basically animals famed for being really stupid for a dragon. Ed offers no clue as to how his parents met because Ed doesn’t seem to be able to speak. Or at least, if he can speak, he probably doesn’t know very many words.

Class: Barbarian

Personality: Think Ed the Hyena from the Lion King meets the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Toons 

Appearance: Imagine a white dragon crossed with an Orc. 

[caredogstips]

6 Iconic Works Of Art With Brutal Insults Hidden In Them

We all take our inessential little revenges where we can. If someone cuts you off in commerce, you give them the thumb. If one of your co-workers ingest your lunch, you pee in the coffee maker. If someone talks at the movies, you follow them residence, dress like a comedian, and shriek “their childrens” awake each night for the rest of “peoples lives”. But not everyone stops events so reasonable. Here are masters who held onto enmities so long and so hard that their petty avenge became commemorated in their work.

# 6. Harry Potter Is Full Of J.K. Rowling’s Secret Insults

We’re at a culture time where anyone who needs Harry Potter explained to them is clearly a robot trying to gain sentience. So we’re hop-skip the purpose of explaining who Harry Potter is. Better luck next time, robot. For the rest of you, it turns out that J.K. Rowling realise it a habit to turn real beings from her life into attributes in her works, and for shifting those personas into avenge. For instance, when Stephen Fry was hired to narrate the first audio journal, he was told that a sequel was already in the works. Fry commended this Rowling person whom he’d only met with, “Good for you.” She took it as an offend and never forgot it. It got petty.

When registering the book, Fry had fus adding the words “pocketed it.” Through a bizarre lecture hindrance, it always came out as “pocketeded it.” So he called her up and would like to know whether he could change it. Rowling afforded a hard no. And then, through sheer coincidence , the phrase “pocketed it, ” appeared in the next four Harry Potter notebooks. That’s how ridiculous “womens issues” was willing to get for the tiniest quantity of revenge.

Which introduces us to the character of Gilderoy Lockhart, the blowhard educator from Chamber Of Secrets . He was based on a humanity Rowling knew and reviled, who was constantly bragging about acts that almost certainly never happened. So she made him a persona in her work who virtually facilitates Magic Hitler rise to power and get his psyche mopped. Then, after publicly announcing that this shithead was based on a real guy, Rowling responded, “Don’t annoy … he will never in a million years dream that he is Gilderoy Lockhart.” So everyone who has ever gratified J.K. Rowling, take note: There’s a decent hazard she thinks you’re a stupid asshole.

Based on a real stupid asshole .

Another character, Harry’s vile Aunt Marge, was based on one of Rowling’s family members who “liked dogs more than people.” But there’s one character who rises above all others in the annals of hated Harry Potter Characters. The one character whom every fan agrees is the most evil and disliked. No , not Voldemort. Not Lockhart. Not even the sniveling Wormtail.

It’s Dolores Umbridge. Her identify literally signifies “annoyance and offense.”

You goddamn bitch .

If you watched the movies, you might recollect Umbridge as the short one dressed in all-pink who realise Harry write with a pencil that carves characters into his tissue. Seemed a little bit much, right? Well, she was based on a educator Rowling knew whom she described as someone she “disliked deeply on sight.” The impression was mutual, and Rowling described her style as being “appropriate to a girl of three.”

Imagine you’re a coach trying the very best to fertilize young judgments. One of your students( though not your favourite) has already become the most successful writer since God. Excited, you open one of her volumes and find someone who’s clearly you, written as a dimwitted maid of immoralities garmented for a children’s tea party. Oh well, you predict she never forgave you for those imprisonments …

“That was just the once, you crybaby.”

… and then later in the book, your reputation is dragged into the woods by centaurs — a scene which we’re almost certain implies that they then raped her.( That centaurs abuse human girls is an essential part of the lore around them. For speciman, the centaur Nessus was killed while trying to rape a human lady .) Yeah, that’s how freaking nighttime this gets. J.K. Rowling didn’t get along with one of her coaches, so she had the teach get( apparently) sexually contravened by horse-men in a children’s volume. Then she announces to the world that this sorceres get bayoneted in every flaw by centaur rooster is based on a real party. “Not to * wink !* name any refers, but it was one of my teachers, and here’s job descriptions! “

“Does she have teenagers? They just watched Stand-In Mommy lose all hope and glory. Oh glee! ”

So if you ever had an proof with J.K. Rowling, give the books another speak. There’s a good chance a goblin based on you has been torn apart by unicorns for the amusement of children.

# 5. Muslim Street Artists Bash Homeland … On Homeland

Homeland is a testify with so many absurd constructions that it’s more of a practical joke on the observer than a floor. But that’s not why it’s contentious. It’s about CIA agents contending Islamic terrorism, and it’s been called everything from insulting and humiliating to borderline racist. Basically, the appearance treats controversial issues the same way Donald Trump might list his favorite Mexicans — it’s not quite “bigoted, ” but it’s definitely uncomfortable.

So some of Homeland ‘s detractors decided to speak out against the reveal from inside the show itself. One occurrence took place in a Syrian refugee camp. Because the writers are all lily-white Americans with little-to-no Syrian refugee camp suffer, they decided to let some individuals who knew Arabic embellish the laid with graffiti. You possibly discover where this is going. They wrote smart-ass words everywhere.

This suggests ” Homeland is watermelon, ” which is meaner than it resonates in Arabic .

The three masters hired were Don Karl, Heba Amin, and Caram Kapp, and they felt that the establish reached Arabs and Muslims feel disliked and helped shape negative minds. So they said so, in Arabic, right in front of the producers’ non-Arabic-speaking faces.

“This show does not represent the view of the artists.”

The entire place seems a bit obvious in hindsight. Homeland is no other indicate on Tv that hires Middle-Eastern performers, and most of them either play-act suicide bombers or regular grinders. So when the same evidence hires Middle-Eastern set designers and tells them to make it super Arab-y , no one should be surprised if they respond by trolling you.

Actual translation: ” Homeland is racist.” Oh, and “NO MICKEY MOUSE.”

# 4. The God-We-Wish-It-Were-True Story Of “The Cask Of Amontillado”

“The Cask Of Amontillado” is one of Edgar Allan Poe’s most well known toils. It’s about a being who gets retaliate on a acquaintance by pulling him underground with wine and then entombing him alive. He leaves “the mens” chained to a wall to die, mocking the man’s shriekings for blessing. A few vague details are given, but it’s never become clear to the reader what injustice invigorated the assassination. Even for Poe, it was a bit dark.

“Once you’re dead, I’m giving your body the teabagging of Amontillado.”

And it all started because another novelist was sort of a douche.

Like all scribes, Edgar Allan Poe had a wonderful sexuality life, great “hairs-breadth”, all the money in “the worlds”, and countless antagonists. One of them was a scribe mentioned Thomas Dunn English. The two detested one another, and Thomas wrote a parody of Poe into one of his tales: a reference appointed Marmaduke Hammerhead who writes a legend called “The Black Crow, ” acts crazy, and is drunk all the time.

Poe didn’t think it was cute. He registered a suit against the working paper English worked for, and acquired. Still unsatisfied, Poe decided to placed him into a narrative. And in that legend, he garmented “the mens” like a jester, walled him up in a dungeon, and tell madness and famine race to destroy him. In … in fiction! Exclusively in fiction.

This was his response to being announced crazy .

As you might have approximated, the poorest of the poor drink dumb “whos got” lay alive in “The Cask Of Amontillado” was based on English. So if you had to read the tale in high school and none of you could figure out what the hell the guy did to deserve such a dark fate , now you know. He gently taunted Edgar Allan Poe. When Poe kills you in a legend, he dresses you like a buffoon and lets you whimper for their own lives alone in the blackness. As opposed to doing you in with the whimsy of a centaur penis.

# 3. Willow Swerved Multiple Movie Critics Into Villains

Though you put your heart and soul into a work of art, there will always be a critic there to tell you it sucks. It happens no matter how great your artistry happens to be, but it happens a lot if your prowes — like Willow — kind of sucks.

Maybe in a preemptive strike against their inevitable offenses, or maybe as revenge for past commentaries, George Lucas mentioned two of the villains in Willow after film reviewers. The first was General Kael, a skull-headed warlord reputation after Pauline Kael, who had called Star Wars an tired circus with no psychological clutch. Well fuck you, Pauline, you’re an evil skeleton now. In Willow .

“You look hopelessly cool and impossibly badass. Aren’t you ashamed? ”

And this wasn’t the only period this happened to Kael. The same year Willow “re coming out”, an analog of her also appeared in the Dirty Harry movie The Dead Pool . Apparently, the filmmakers still hadn’t forgiven her for calling Dirty Harry “fascist, pro-violence, pro-gun, republican nuttery scrap.” So they based a reputation on her, and then had that character get brutally jabbed to demise. That’ll picture her who’s pro-violence!

“I know what you’re deliberation: six gaping spurting curves, or only five? ”

You might believe that George Lucas was outdone, since his insult was simply appointing some guy “Kael, ” while Dirty Harry exited all-out and killer her. Perhaps you’re right. But wait until you hear about the other reviewers who took a smack in Willow . This one is brutal .

At the end of Willow , a two-headed fire-breathing dragon shows. George knew the dragon could be more than a fantastic culminating to history’s greatest film — it was his chance to get revenge for every mean happen Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert had ever said about his movies. Those guys would rue the day they traversed the artistic juggernaut of George Lucas!

He identified the dragon Eborsisk.

“We grant it two deformed-looking whale dicks up.”

Oh, shit! Can you envisage what Siskel and Ebert must have visualized when they received information that !? With one reputation( which is never even pronounce aloud ), Lucas killed them both and plummeted the mic. Eborsisk! That’s like both their reputations in one! It was the snap discover of all the countries … Eborsisk. The instant some supplementary information revealed that the dragon’s reputation was Eborsisk, “the worlds” knew never to doubt George Lucas’ filmmaking abilities again.

# 2. The Symbolic Middle Finger In The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn

The writer Sir Walter Scott isn’t exactly a household name, but there’s a respectable opportunity you’re familiar with some of his effort, like Ivanhoe and Rob Roy . Regrettably for him, the most famous journal in which his name sounds is The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn . And that’s because Mark Twain goddamn detested Walter Scott.

Even more than he hates you for misrepresenting him on Facebook .

Twain thought that Scott’s writing romanticized battle, and was worried that young men were reading about the magnificences of engagement and ranging off to combat. He felt that Scott’s novels were to blame for much of the “windy humbuggeries” of the South, which gave rise to concepts like duels or even the Civil War itself. He felt that Scott’s novels continued the delusion that Southerners were noble heroes and gentlemen, despite their participation in brutal frontier justice and the owning of other humans. So Twain are determined to immortalize his antagonism of Sir Walter Scott in art.

If you don’t recall the patch of Huck Finn , it’s about a runaway boy and an escaped slave traveling down the Mississippi River, and the language hasn’t aged well. What you may have never observed was an aesthetic offend to Scott encoded into their passage. In the tale, Twain named a steamboat after the object of his condescension; the Walter Scott is carried away by a strong present and wrecked against some rocks.

“The regained wood was then turned into an outhouse which was consistently full of shit.”

It was meant to symbolize the path the Old South rode along on Scott’s strong back toward an out-of-control catastrophe( the Civil War ). It’s a little bit more subtle than embed someone alive or probing them with a centaur, but it translates to the same act: “Fuck you, Sir Walter Scott.”

# 1. DC And Marvel Piss On Their Movie

In its very first trailer, Man Of Steel boasted a quote from Grant Morrison’s All-Star Superman . This was strange chiefly because All-Star Superman is considered one of the greatest Superman floors ever told, and Man Of Steel was a 150 -minute tantrum hurled by stupid room juveniles. Besides having a laser-eyed alien as the prime reference, they could not be more different. In Man Of Steel , Superman clicks cervixes and watches fathers succumb. In All-Star Superman , he is infallible and benevolent. He’s nearly drew as God.

It’s not even that subtle about it .

Morrison shovels the idea of Superman being a perfect compounding of every human ideal. So he was understandably ticked off that the matter is “gritty” movie in which Superman is a petty thug exploited a quotation from his duty. But since he wrote Action Comics , Superman’s flagship title, it was likely wasn’t appropriate for him to come out and publicly talk shit about the movie. Instead, he carefully knit all that shit-talking into a Superman story.

In a long, mind-bending narration that obligates Memento look like Blue’s Clues , Morrison acquainted a soul called Super-Doomsday.

We’re sure that swastika-looking “S” was purely coincidental .

It’s created by scientists attempting to make a pure and inspirational person, but in their hopelessnes, they sold him off to “owners corporations” which moved him into “a violent, disturbed, faceless anti-hero … a global marketing icon .“

Sound familiar?

“Oh, I get it. You’re like a metapho-AARRRGH! LASER BEAMS !!! ”

Superman eventually uncovers him and uncover a distorted half-Superman/ half-Doomsday — which is eerily same to the form of Doomsday’s origin in the upcoming Batman v. Superman .

“Ugh. Doomsday is some Kryptonian DNA with demon shit attached? What deplorable monster would green-light that project !? ”

Morrison got extremely heavy-handed as he wrote. The commercialized Superman is powered by “a simple corporate directive: kill the competition.” And if that wasn’t obvious enough, the large-scale bad behind Super-Doomsday( an imp from the fifth facet) find right out and explains it TAGEND Able to pinch limitless account in a single body …

“There’s blood on your princely pinnacle. A stain that can never come out. The mark of betrayal and exploitation … Your “S” a dollar sign! ” It almost sounds like he’s referencing a very concrete occurrence. Hmm … wonder what it could be?

“Hkk! This … testifies a fundamental misinterpret … hkk! … of 80 years of reference developing! ”

While on the subject of literary superhero retaliation, Marvel had a similar rebuttal to a bad movie in the sheets of Fantastic Four . In one issue, groupings of people birthing a strong resemblance to the stars of the appalling, frightful Fantastic Four reboot be standing talking about a movie that they worked on with a director referred “Trang.” “Its probably” a including references to FF chairman Josh Trank, but it’s so deeply unclever that it virtually seems impossible.

Turning that “4” on his shirt into four middle fingers would’ve been wittier . And then this happens TAGEND

“We had to level the whole metropoli in case they wanted to threw a reboot.”

That’s it — over the course of three boards, Marvel wordlessly explosion them. It’s the kind of hamfisted theme that makes you long for the intricacy of a fifth-dimensional pixie appearing to explain the laugh. Or, of course, the sophisticated nuance of J.K. Rowling’s unwanted centaur cocks.

Always be category, because you never know when you’ll end up a laugh in someone else’s innovation. Witness more of that in 6 Brilliant Insults Hidden In Video Games As Easter Eggs and 6 Famous Works Of Art You Didn’t Know Were Vicious Insults .

Read more: www.cracked.com

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