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#like hold uppppp made me blush a little bit
the-toulouser · 7 months
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the sexiest thing to ever happen to me was someone bookmarking one of my fics and leaving a little hate comment along with it. the complexity. the drama lmaooo
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jonnnysuh · 3 years
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Dating Yugyeom would include
Dating GOT7 would include |  SERIES
Just based off my observations/my perception of him. Obviously I have no idea what dating him would be like but thought it would be fun to do. This is more playful than romantic bc what is romance???
Literally never shutting the fuck up
Having meaningless fights about little things and then going back to normal 
Having your own language that makes no sense to everyone else
Laughing til your stomachs hurt and trying to recreate what just happened but laughing again 
Roasting each other as a sign of affection 
Too many nicknames that have weird origin stories that y’all can’t remember 
Both needing to get your ways so you’ll pout until one of you budges 
He is such a simp tho 
Mocking each other after someone says absolutely anything
Dance battles
saying “YOOOOOOOU” like soulja boi
Resting his chin on your head
BOYBOYBOYBOY ((((you kno like when they yell like a siren)))
“WHY ARE YOU YELLING” “IM JUST HAPPY” 
Having to make the hard decisions for him 
Not being able to complete a task bc you’re both so annoyingly distracting 
Something that should take 30 minutes to finish takes 3 hours instead 
Both being confused all the time so you discuss how things should be done and then fight over it
he’ll purposely hide things to make it hard for you 
Holding things over your head bc he wants to watch you jump 
“You’re a bully” “you’re a bully too” “ya but it’s only okay if I do it” 
Saying the same shit at the same time and hitting each other in excitement
He’s funnier than you but you won’t admit it 
SENDING VOICE NOTES INSTEAD OF TEXTING AND YALL HAVE SHORT ATTENTION SPANS SO SOMETIMES IF YOU DONT REPLY IN A FEW MINS YOU FORGET WHAT YOURE SUPPOSED TO SAY SO YOU START A NEW CONVERSATION  
He has a meme folder and has a meme for every occasion 
Bro he’ll MAKE memes using pictures of you 
If he doesn’t reply within a few seconds it’s bc he’s trying to find the perfect meme or making one 
A never ending game of iMessage connect 4 
How he’d annoy you:
Rock Paper Scissors to get out of doing something but even if he loses he’ll refuse for a bit and then do it
Acting shocked even though he knew something you didn’t 
acting like he’s listening but really he’s doing something else
making you call him oppa or he’s not listening
Laying on his shoulder during long car rides
He makes a big deal about your birthday and will plan everything to a t
He sucks at surprises though bc you he tells you everything
it’s always either by accident like he slips it in
OR you’re like “tell me” “no” “fine” “OKAY I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE WE’RE GOING ON A TRIP TO PARIS”
Gossiping with him and he hates all the people you hate and then will also bring up something he heard about them 
he would tour new places with you on facetime and bother everyone in the process
the facetime photos you guys take are so frightening and confusing to look back on bc there’s so much movement and emotion on your faces
buying you dessert/pastries when you’re sad
LITERALLY LAUGHING FESTS BEFORE BED
IT’S ALWAYS STUPID BRO
BUT Y'ALL WILL CRY LAUGHING TOGETHER EVERY SINGLE TIME
Y'ALL JUST SAY THE STUPIDEST SHIT
“YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS” SHOVING THE PHONE IN THEIR FACE AND IT’S THE DUMBEST FUCKING VIDEO IN THE UNIVERSE BUT WHY ARE YOU BOTH DYING
Every single one of the boys know he’s whipped and he’s embarrassed but also you’re his person so who wins now
he’s literally so thoughtful
he knows all your favourite songs and makes a playlist
flowers and flowers and flowers
he’ll drop anything he can to be with you
will remember your childhood stories better than you
can finish your sentences
messages you every time you post a new picture
“hey this thing made me think of you” text
gets you guys matching chain bracelets/rings
finishes the food you can’t
doing tiktok dances but not posting them bc you’re both embarrassing
but he will start the video literally ANYWHERE.
on the plane? in the parking lot? at a restaurant?
His hand is always on you especially when you’re walking through a crowd
having to ask him to slow down bc you have short legs
Tippytoing to kiss him 
innocent flirting that turns dirty really quick
he definitely likes being small spoon
he talks in his sleep
he has the most irrational fears in the world
“THAT TEXTURE IS SOOOO UGLY I CAN’T LOOK AT IT PLEASEEE”
doing something cute and HE’S JUST SO EASILY LIKE “I LOVE YOU”
always wants to slow dance with you to any song just so he can hold you and lead
he’ll whisper in your ear just to get you hot like fuck offffffffff
his skincare routine takes soo long to do he’ll be in the washroom for 30 minutes
“You’re such a kid”
“Are you a baby?” “YA YOUR BABY”
One of you will start singing and the other joins in but the boys are like shut the fuck uppppp
I feel like he’d like to play wrestle bc this man chooses violence every single time
he can do a perfect impression of you 
both of you will up the cheesiness when u notice that it’s making everyone else cringe just to make them cringe more
be prepared to kill the spiders 
also be prepared to watch scary movies with the lights on bc he is spooked!
Always saying “woooow” sarcastically when someone does something unimpressive
he is an attention whore so when you’re ignoring him he will do cartwheels🤸🏻‍♀️ and try to be funny
making him blush is so easy it’s like a superpower he just gets flustered 
Making a bad decision and saying “yolo ✌️😗”
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kleinsen being good and soft
Ava: teehee (Evan doesn’t know Jared likes him yet)
——————
Evan: *packing bc he’s sleeping over at Jared’s house??*
Jared: *puking up flowers and blood cause hanahaki*
Evan: *knocks on the Jared’s door* Jaredddddddd
Jared: f-fuck um- oNE S-SECOND- *pukes more and one whole flower and then stops cause thats all of them for today lol xD*
Evan: *puts his headphones on bc he’s waiting??*
Jared: *cleans up the bathroom and wipes his eyes cause he was crying cause it hurt and puts the flower in a bowl where he kept all of them cause it's a water lily cause I like them and opens the door for evan* hi, sorry I took so long, come in
Evan: *puts his headphones around his neck* it’s fine dude *walks in* I haven’t been here in forever oh my god-
Jared: *rubs the back of his neck* heh- yeah
Evan: *looks at thy Jared very concerned* you okay dude? I’m surprised you haven’t made a joke by now
Jared: im surprised you haven't kissed a tree! I'm fine, lol
Evan: *giggly boye* you sure?- Wait, why are your eyes so red? Are you smoking weed?!
Jared: um- yes?
Evan: uh- where should I put my bags? I don’t know if any of the house rules changes- since last time you didn’t let me touch anything-
Jared: we can bring them to my room cause thats where we're sleeping I guess
Evan: okay? *runs upstairs and falls in the process* OW
Jared: oh shoot- are you okay? *runs over to evan*
Evan: yeah- I just tripped that’s all! *smiley boye* *walks into thy Jared’s room*
Jared: *follows the evan* uh so you can sleep on my bed and I can sleep on the floor or whatever
Evan: dude it’s your house- I’ll sleep on the floor-
Jared: well like you’re the guest or something I don’t know
Evan: hhhhhh *flops on his bed* what do you wanna do
Jared: I dont know- wanna watch a movie?
Evan: sure! *sits up and sits against the pillows*
Jared: *sits next to evan* ummm... let's watch..... uh.... *puts on Hercules cause yes* this.
Evan: dork *giggly boye*
Jared: *red boye* shush-
Evan: wow Jared Kleinmen is blushing, from Evan Hansen- who ever thought
Jared: ugh- *hides face* i hate you tree man
Evan: love you too bathbomb
Jared: *feels a lump in his throat because I researched and like if you get affection from the person you love the symptoms get worse* um- i need to use the bathroom be right back *walks to the bathroom*
Evan: okay!
Jared: *locks the door and starts hanahaki-ing for like 5 minutes*
Evan: *walks to the bathroom door and knocks on it* you okay dude?
Jared: yep! I'm g-good just give me a s-second- *hanahki-s a full water lily cause thats what his flower is apparently* *also thats how he knows it's over for now*
Evan: okay! I’ll be in your room- I’ll pause the movie for you!
Jared: o-okay! *coughs up some more blood and cleans up*
Like- 5 minutes later: skskksksk
Jared: *walks in to his room and puts the lily in the water bowl*
Evan: you have...water Lily’s in your...bathroom?
Jared: a lot has changed, evan. *sigh* a lot
Evan: *sighs and hugs the Jared*
Jared: *blushes and hugs the tree* soooooo... why are you hugging me?
Evan: you seemed sad- and you don’t get enough love
Jared: *metaphorically melts into the hug and lays his head on Evans shoulder*
Ali: (I'm sorry im so used to being a bottom)
Ava: (Dont worry dude bc same)
Evan: *ruffles the Jared’s hair* you okay?
Jared: ......huh? What? Wait yeah I'm good haha *stops hugging the evan and is v red* so uh- wanna keep watching the movie?
Evan: sure! *sits on his bed and closes the blinds so it can be dark* it’s like a real movie theater!
Jared: yeah! *in his mind cause I feel like it 😋 (how in the fucking fuck can someone be so god damn cute-)
Ava: dang Jared
Evan: *unpauses the movie and leans against the pillows* *puts an oversized hoodie on uwu*
Jared: *(what in the frick frack cracker jack)
Evan: *rests his head on Jared’s shoulder teehee*
Jared: *blushblushblush*
Evan: is it bad I’ve never seen this movie-
Jared: I mean i dont know I guess?? *worried he'll have another hanahaki attack with all this love ;-;*
Evan: Jared...are you okay? Ever since I got here you’ve looked like you’re going to throw up- should I leave?
Jared: nonononono!!! It's fine!! I'm fine!!
Evan: *hugs the Jared from the side* no you arentttttt
Jared: e-evan i- *starts coughing up blood*
Ali: (he wasn't gonna confess he was just flustered :/)
Evan: holy shoot! Oh my god!- *runs to get towels*
Jared: *keeps coughing up blood and now- some flower petals*
Evan: *comes back with towels and sits down in front of Jared then looks at him* here du- are those...flowers?
Jared: n-no. Y-y-yes? *starts sobbing cause it hurts a lot ouchies* i-im s-so-sorry *coughs up more petals and blood*
Evan: hey hey hey- it’s okay Jare- I know what this is- cough it all up *rubs his back*
Jared: *starts coughing up wayyy more and even some full lilys bc like I said affection makes it worse*
Evan: oh shoot sorry! I forgot- *steps away from the Jared*
Jared: *coughs up a bit more and one like- huge heccin lily thats glowy pink (normally theyre white) :0*
Evan: oh my god..-
Jared: i-im sorry I'll- I'll clean this up- *starts cleaning up quickly and gently puts the pink one in the center of the bowl*
Evan: y-you like m-m-me..-
Jared: what?! No thats- thats insane haha-
Evan: y-yeah....insane
Jared: *picks up the bowl, sits down, and puts it on his lap* *oh and pushes them around gently with his finger*
Evan: Jared....can I um...tell you something?
Jared: hm?
Evan: I um....please don’t hate me- but...Ive liked you for awhile now. You’ve been really nice to me lately and I never knew why, but now I do. It’s fine if you have hanahaki because of Connor- it’s fine if you don’t like me- I’m just hoping this doesn’t trigger it-
Some of the smaller flowers: *die*
Jared: wait- wait hold up- wait- wait really? *starts crying* no no... no youre just playing with me- this is all a dream- stop- no-
Evan: Jared, I’m not messing with you...you aren’t dreaming- I like you
Jared: ohmygosh- oh- ohmygosh- *puts the bowl back down on the table and is still muttering ohmygosh to himself* *blushy boye*
Evan: *laughs a little* calm down Jare
Jared: *sits back down and looks at the ground* you know... I had.. that was 29 flowers.. one more and.. I wouldve died......
Evan: am I allowed to like...- touch you now?
Jared: yeah-
Evan: *hugs the jared*
Jared: *leans on the evan*
Evan: *pulls away from the Jared and looks at him then....kisses him teehee*
Jared: *flustered for a moment but then kisses him back*
Evan: Jared, I- I love you
Jared: I love you too you dweeb *kisses him agian but more make-outy?????*
Ava: Ali what-
Evan: *big blush man*
Jared: *pulls apart and gives him a look like is this okay cause catie told me once that you should do that*
Ali: (shush I dont know what words are)
Evan: *laughs* Jared you are such a dork, I love it
Jared: w-wELL-?!
Evan: *giggly boye*
Jared: *smiles* just kiss me already you acorn *kisses the evan agAiN*
Evan: *kisses thy Jared*
Jared: *runs his fingers through thy Evans hair*
Ava: Ali- where is this going
Evan: *big blush man*
Jared: *makes out with evan wow I did it im proud of myself :)*
-later-
Evan: *his hair is all messed up* so that happened-
Jared: *red boye* yeah-
Evan: you’re a good kisser Kleinmen
Jared: *giggle sk* no u
Evan: uno reverse card *giggle sk*
Jared: ugh fineeeeee- *fixes his glasses cause they were tilted cause ;)*
Evan: well I never got to watch the movie- I guess I’m too hot to handle
Jared: pretty much
Evan: o-oh I was j-joking- *hides under the blanket*
Jared: *giggles* youre such a dweeb
Evan: *still under the blanket* shushhhh
Jared: *goes under the blanket and cuddles the evan*
Evan: *pink boye* *wraps his arms around the Jared*
Jared: *falls asleep*
-a couple hours later-
Evan: *poking thy Jared* Jareeeeee wake uppppp
Jared: *wakes up* momm its nott- oh hey evan-! *blush boy*
Evan: I never knew I looked like your mom *laughs*
Jared: nO thats disgusting eww- she just- normally wakes me up on Saturdays thinking its school. She's werid.
Evan: how- it’s Saturday?? I can’t even remember anymore
Jared: *shrugs* I have a good memory I guess
Evan: I’m just gonna say, I never thought in a million years, the Jared Kleinmen would like cuddles
Jared: *giggles* oh evan you dont even know
Evan: what else are you hiding from me
Jared: *becomes way to red to even speak* noTHINg-
Evan: tell meeeeeee pweaseeeee
Jared: *hides under his blanket* nO-
Evan: Jared I swear to god if you’re kinky like my brother-
Jared: no ew gross what huh
Evan: tell me Jare Bearrrrr
Jared: no-
Evan: hmmmmmm okay fineeeee *stares at the Jared* you’re really pretty...-
Jared: youre really hot
Evan: oh I- I- um..- *v v v v v v red*
Jared: *giggly boye*
Evan: that was very unnecessary Kleinmen *crosses his arms while being v v v red*
Jared: it's true
Evan: *puts his hand on his cheek and kisses him teehee*
Jared: *pulls him closer and kisses him back*
Evan: this is very gay
Jared: *finger guns* yeperino!
Evan: *giggly boye* you are so weird, but I love you
Jared: can we get back to kissing? (Please? Yo. Every action has an-)
Ava: equal opposite reaction-
Evan: o-oh y-yeah- *kisses the Jared*
Jared: *kisses the evan but ~~ly*
Evan: *is basically in Jared’s lap at this point-*
Jared: *has his arms wrapped around Evans hips ;))*
Evan: *has his arms wrapped around Jared’s neck;))*
Jared: *kisses evan but more ;))-y*
Evan: *big blush man*
Jared: *keeps kissing Thy evan shook :0*
Evan: okay Jared calm down *giggly boye*
Jared: *shrugs* youre just a really good kisser, acorn *stares at Thy evan smiling :)*
Evan: shush bathbomb
Jared: *in an amazingly good British accent because I feel like Jared would have a amazingly good British accent* oh evan my good sir, youre such a peach *kisses Evans hand* now if you'll excuse me for a moment, i shall go get food *goes to get food*
Evan: Jared wha- dork!
Jared: *yells from the kitchen* treeboy!
Evan: Adorable!
Jared: goddamn you! *comes back to his room and he has um.. spaghetti* f o o d
Evan: my mom knew this was going to happen- she knew you liked meeeeeeee *looks at the Jared*
Jared: well your mom is smart *we eating*
Evan: oh and I uh- I bought you something the other day- *gives him a bathbomb*
Jared: you know me so well *wipes a fake tear from his eye* ironically, i got something for you! *goes under his bed and grabs a succulent and gives it to evan* you can name it if you want-
Evan: *:0* I love it!! *hugs the Jared*
Jared: yay! *hugs the evan*
Evan: *snuggles in the Jared XD owo*
Jared: *plays with evans hair 0w0*
Evan: jare...will you be my boyfrienddddd
Jared: *straight face* no of course not... *smiles really wide and kisses the evan* dUDE OF COURSE!!! *v v smiley boye*
Evan: *breaks into a giggly fit and falls out of the Jared’s grip* yayyyyy
Jared: *teehee* hey evannnn guess whattttttttttttttttttt
Evan: whatttttttt
Jared: I love you *giggly boye oWO
Evan: I love you toooo!
Jared: so what are you gonna name the little guy? *sits on the ground with evan cause he fell or something and puts thy succulent in his lap*
Evan: hm...jelly bean!
Ali: im gonna make jared be able to do any accent really well and you can't stop me
Jared: *commits cowboy accent* howdy there jelly bean what are you doin' round these here parts
Evan: Jared what the hell!? *laughing*
Jared: *starts laughing too and is still committing cowboy accent* what? this is how I talk! Ya got a problem with that mister? *laughing so much sksjsksmskk*
Evan: n-no! This is just- *continues laughing*
Jared: *dies laughing and back to normal jared voice* jelly bean is beautiful
Evan: oh welcome back Jared, you got possessed by a cowboy
Jared: Oh my gosh I did?! *finger guns the air and looks around frantically* wOODY I KNOW YOU'RE HERE! I'LL SHOOT!! *trying not to laugh*
Evan: *cant breathe from laughing* oh my god-
Jared: *falls onto Evans lap* ohmygosh *dying laughing* i can't
Evan: *dying laughing* since when could you do all those accents?!
Jared: *shrugs* since forever I guess? I can do a lot more
Evan: oh lord please no
Jared: *giggles* okay okay- what do you wanna do now?
Evan: I don’t knowwwwwww
Jared: *puts jelly bean on the counter* wannaaaaaaa watch a horror movie??
Evan: okay! *sits under the blanket on the Jared’s bed* (it still looks like a movie theater in his room-*
Jared: *sits next to evan and puts on the man man bye*
The first death: wassup
Evan: *clings onto Jared’s arm*
Ali: oh my gosh it's literally the opposite of us
Jared: evan it has barely been 10 minutes in-
-Half way through the movie-
Evan: *screams*
Jared: *wraps his arms around evan* evy do you wanna turn it off? *genuinely concerned*
Evan: n-no it’s fine
Jared: oookayyy... *still worried*
-a bit more than halfway in-
Evan: *falls asleep*
Jared: *gently moves evan so he's laying down, turns off the tv, cuddles him and falls asleep too*
-next Day-
Evan: *wakes up* Jare bearrrr
Jared: *talks in his sleep cause I need to do this* *sleep giggles? Shut up okay* awee my little evy wevy
Evan: *big blush man but laughs and pokes the Jared*
Jared: *awakens and sees thy evan* oh h-hi evan- *big big big blush man*
Evan: how long have you dreamed of me Jare? *smiley boye*
Jared: w-well um- y-you see y-you i- um- *flustered gay distress increces*
Evan: what happened in that little “evy wevy” dream of yours
Jared: nOThIng-
Evan: awe c’mom tell your little Evy Wevy
Jared: *blushes deeper :0* nO-
Evan: okay okay- you can go back to sleep if you want baby
Jared: *is redder than a tomato* baby???? *dying* did you just call me baby??? *dying even more like wtf*
Evan: *shaking his head* mhm
Jared: *hides his face* evan why do you do this to me
Evan: awe because I cannnnn
Jared: oh my gosh *dying blushing woah*
Evan: *kisses thy Jared*
Jared: *kisses thy evan back*
Evan: *kisses his forehead* go back to sleep baby
Jared: fineeeeeeee *lays down with his head on Evans lap and falls asleep*
Evan: *gently moves Jared and lays down*
Jared: *clings onto evan*
Evan: *asleep*
Heidi: Evan sweetie it’s time to come ho- AWWWWWW
Jared: *stays asleep and clings onto evan tighter*
Evan: *whisper yells* mom what the hell! Go away!-
Heidi: I am posting this on Facebook! *walks away*
Jared: *nuzzles evan*
Ali: NUZZLES YOU OWO
Evan: *goes to get up but Jared won’t let him* Jare, I have to leave
Jared: *still a singular sleep*
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