#like him posting that release date and those two track titles on his new album are child’s play

[jewishrizahawkeye]

honestly jack antonoff being pissed at joe now makes so much sense. if i watched my best friend struggle through a 6.5 year relationship and try so hard to save it when her partner was cheating on her, making her feel like the problem, and her life is why it’s not working out i’d be seeing red and doing a lot more than him

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Kiro’s Inspiration Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 灵感之约, which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

An early birthday gift to the embodiment of sunshine, @moondusks​ :>

[ This date was released in CN on 7 December 2020 ]

A pleasantly warm and light breeze lifts the muslin curtains, bringing with it the fresh atmosphere of early winter.

Lemon yellow sunlight filters lazily through the trees, casting shadows on the window and carrying the scent of peppermint.

It’s an incomparably ordinary, and incomparably comfortable afternoon.

It’s very suitable for heading out and casting aside one’s cares - laying down on a grass patch, basking in the warm sunlight.

Or perhaps taking a stroll along the street, and sitting down in a cafe one has been longing to visit.

That’s what Kiro and I originally planned to do. 

However, the cruel reality is...

MC: Why does this proposal have to be done by next week ahhhh--

Kiro: Why can’t I write this song properly--

MC: Why do people need to be exploited by work--

Kiro: [sighs] And why are people constrained by inspiration--

Because of a sudden program, I have no choice but to work overtime.

And Kiro, who is about to record a new album, has remained dissatisfied towards the title track.

Due to the pressures of reality, we have to give up our original plans of having a fulfilling and happy date.

The both of us are working overtime at home.

Kiro: [groans] Farewell, my rosy weekend. Goodbye, my donuts and soup dumplings which have vanished into thin air.

MC: And brown sugar milk coffee, taro pies, and lava cakes...

Even though we sing the same tune, complaining dejectedly about not being able to go out, the both of us work non-stop on our tasks.

I can hear the crisp sound of Kiro tapping his pen rhythmically against the music stand. Occasionally, his soft humming can also be heard.

Seeing him working hard and struggling with himself, the corners of my lips lift upwards.

Even though we’re unable to head outside to do something interesting, it isn’t a bad thing to be together at home like this, channelling effort into our differing goals.

In some way, this should also count as a type of date.

I smile, adjusting my posture on the bean bag so that it’s more comfortable for typing, then continue immersing myself in the battle against the program proposal.

-

The proposal I’m working on is extremely urgent, and has to be settled by next week. 

Not only that, but this sudden program has an importance accompanied by a non-proportional preparation timing.

And during such a period of high stress, the goddess of inspiration, who typically shows concern for me, has gone on a faraway vacation, and has  completely vanished.

I have trouble writing. When I completely lose my train of thought, I exchange helpless glances with the few words on the screen.

In the end, I give up and pause the hands which have been maltreating the keyboard, preparing to pour myself a glass of water, and attempt to change my mood.

Lifting my head, I subconsciously glance in Kiro’s direction.

The curtains separate the room from sunlight, casting Kiro in a faint shadow as he leans against the window while composing a song.

Busy writing the new song, he hasn’t had time to maintain the state of his hair. 

Finding stray hairs a hindrance as they block his vision, Kiro holds a rubber band in his mouth, combing his hair to the back, and ties it into a small ponytail.

Those azure eyes stare at the music score in concentration. They are as clear and bright as always, but lack the flash of light he usually has when inspiration strikes.

Reference materials and abandoned drafts are scattered all over, which seem to isolate him on a higher platform which I’m unable to reach.

Completely engrossed in creating his work, even his languid sitting posture exudes a cold and lonely feeling for some reason.

For a moment, I feel slightly dazed.

Kiro: Let me guess. Is Miss Chips lacking inspiration, and having trouble writing the proposal?

Kiro suddenly removes his earplugs, turning his head to look at me. 

He shows me a brilliant smile, and the room is once again filled with sunlight.

MC: How did you know? 

He stands up as well, stretching himself, turning back into the him that I’m most familiar with.

It’s as though the him of just a few seconds ago was simply an illusion surfacing from work-induced stress.

Kiro: Hmm... since just now, the sound of your keyboard has been intermittent, unlike how smooth it usually is.

While he speaks, Kiro walks to the snack cabinet and rifles through it carefully, as though he’s a small squirrel searching for a pine cone from the hole of a tree in winter.

Kiro: So I thought - Miss Chips is probably just like me, entering a bottleneck at work.

He splits the low-fat and sugar-free healthy snack into half, placing it into my hand.

Kiro: A little reward for the hardworking you. Now, do you feel more motivated?

MC: It sounds quite embarrassing... but I don’t think I can work any harder.

I munch on the snack which gives me absolutely no happiness, saying this with a sullen expression.

MC: The presentation is next week, but I still have no idea how to go about writing the proposal. Right now, I just want to turn into an ostrich and curl up into a ball, avoiding the presentation meeting in a few days... and also avoiding my unmotivated self.

I turn the laptop towards him, letting him see the lonely and piteous 235 words in the document.

MC: I even want to knock on my brain forcefully, checking to see if new ideas will appear.

Kiro: Hmm... I see...

Kiro curls his finger, tapping it gently against my forehead. He leans closer to my ear and asks a question.

Kiro: Nice to meet you, Miss Chips’ inspiration. May I know if you’re at home?

Following his action, I close my eyes and sense it carefully.

After a short silence, I furrow my brows and lift my head, looking at him bitterly.

MC: Hello, the user you’re calling is not in service...

Kiro reaches out to rub the area between my eyebrows, smoothening out the creases on my face.

After ensuring that I’m no longer a “bun”, he sighs, laying down next to me.

[Note] Chinese buns (包子 - “bao zi”)  look like this i.e. they look like wrinkles:

Kiro: [sighs] Actually, I’m the same as you. There’s a song I especially wish to write, and I really like the concept and composition. I want to try writing a song on understanding and interpreting the theme of “love” from my own perspective.

He pauses, lifting his fringe with a wry smile. After give it a forceful rub, he causes his originally tidy hairstyle to become fuzzy.

Kiro: But no matter how I change it, I’m not satisfied. I keep feeling as though something is missing from the music. There’s no soul.

I untie the string, using a hand to smoothen his hair, helping him tie it up properly again.

MC: Whether it’s “My Treasure” or the song we wrote together last Christmas, aren’t they very incredible? They’re tender and sweet - it’s as though they can be sung into the hearts of every listener, enabling them to recollect the best memories.

Kiro: That won’t do.

Kiro flips over and sits up, his eyes serious.

Kiro: Those songs write about us. They write about you. I have several thousand ways to write about how adorable you are, but I don’t know which timbre I should use to face myself.

Not realising how potent his words are in causing one to blush, Kiro sighs once again after speaking, laying back down.

Kiro: [sighs] Looks like this time, we’ve both chosen subjects which are very difficult for us.

-

Kiro: Since we’ve both sunk into a major crisis--

Kiro: Want to try Kiro’s special, secret recipe and see if it can sort out our thinking?

Kiro shoots me a wink.

MC: Sure. Do I need to do anything?

Kiro: At this stage, all you have to do is sit here.

While Kiro speaks, he picks up the abandoned drafts he had casually thrown on the floor earlier, using them to enclose us within a square frame.

Kiro: This is the thinking box that we’re trying to escape from.

He sets down the final sheet of paper, completing this “box”, his tone light.

Kiro: Right now, we’re both locked in it.

MC: In that case, will the superhero help me break this box, so we can have a breakthrough together?

Kiro: Nope. 

Kiro steps out of the square frame made out of drafts, reaching out to seize Cello, who is sleeping soundly on the cat climbing shelf. Then, he places it in my arms.

Cello: Meow?

Kiro nods in satisfaction, then jogs over to the kitchen, bringing over some fruits.

Under the confused gaze of both me and Cello, he makes several trips in and out, bringing over soft cushions, comfortable blankets, and two cups of sugar-free hot chocolate.

Finally, Kiro shifts another bean bag over, and sits down beside me.

Kiro: I’m incredibly sorry to tell you that even a superhero can’t find a way to jump out of this box.

Somewhat pleased with himself, he takes me into his arms with one hand, letting me lean on him.

Kiro: But at the very least, I can keep you company in this box. And together, we can see what exactly in this box has left us so bewildered that we’re unable to get out even after such a long time. 

As he speaks, he tousles Cello’s fuzzy head, and it releases a comfortable meow.

Kiro: We can also decorate it a little, so the box is more comfortable. 

MC: Pfft...

I can’t help but laugh. The sense of dejectedness due to work earlier seems to be cleared up with his actions.

I reach out, pointing at a corner of the ceiling in a joking manner. 

MC: See that? Over there, there’s an MC who just can’t write a proposal, and she’s currently curled up and for waiting for mushrooms to sprout on her... I don’t know how to deal with it.

Kiro nods in understanding, pointing at a corner of the room.

Kiro: Ladies and gentlemen, look here. Here is a Kiro whose inspiration is stuck, and is currently drawing circles. 

MC: When you put it like that, it sounds pretty cute...

While he speaks, I more or less understand why Kiro went to such trouble to do this.

Kiro: That’s right. To me, whether it’s that ostrich-like MC, or that MC who has mushrooms growing on her, I want to hug all of them properly.

Kiro: And then tell her solemnly - that you’re already very amazing. Even if you don’t think you’re good enough, I still like you very much.

Kiro: Just as much as a little bear in winter liking the warm blue sky and green grass.

As he speaks, he tightens his grip on my hand, leaning his chin on top of my head.

Surrounding me are soft blankets and cushions. In my arms is a cat which has gone back to sleep.

Behind me, Kiro’s body temperature and scent encase me tenderly, making me feel so contented that I want to release a joyful sound together with Cello.

I close my eyes in happiness, nuzzling the crook of Kiro’s neck.

The things that were bothering me just a second ago, weighing me down with stress and emotions and leaving me unable to breathe, vanish like smoke and disperse like clouds.

It’s as though I’ve awakened from an incredibly long nightmare, discovering that sunlight is illuminating my surroundings, and that a cup of hot chocolate is waiting at the bedside.

MC: Kiro, why do you always know of such ingenious methods?

I lift my head to look at him, gazing at that blue colour which seeps into one’s heart, and the golden colour traced by sunlight.

Our foreheads lean against each other, and he smiles as he responds.

Kiro: You were the one who taught me these things. Why are you asking me instead?

MC: Me? 

Kiro: Last time, there were numerous occasions when I felt I couldn’t create works that were good enough, and I’d start to doubt myself. I’d lock myself in a corner, and start having internal fights with myself. 

Along with his words, it’s as though I see the Kiro I was barely acquainted with back then, and how he had endured several days and nights of work.

He had locked himself up in a room, helpless and frantic, not leaving any space for himself to breathe. 

Kiro: But during those times, you were always by my side. You told me that no matter how I was, you’d like me all the same. 

As he speaks, he taps on my laptop. 

Kiro: Actually, it’s the same today. 

Kiro: Don’t just look at how I appear now. Actually, I’m in a terrible state. 

Kiro: On one hand, I’m forcing myself to finish this work quickly. On the other hand, I’m so irritated and annoyed at myself, who lacks creativity. 

Kiro: There were many times when I wanted to just give up. 

Kiro: But...

He lifts a strand of my hair, twirling it around his fingertip. In the end, he pulls it to his lips, giving it a gentle kiss.

Kiro: Each time I heard your intermittent yet continuous typing sounds, I’d tell myself that next to me, you’re still working hard. 

Kiro: My Miss Chips is also feeling perplexed, but she’s still persevering in work. 

Kiro: So I told myself - how could I give up before you did?

Kiro: I must definitely persevere a little longer, so you see how dashing I am. 

Kiro relates this softly at my ear. His tone, which harbours a smile, sounds as though he’s depicting a treasure.

I indulge myself in his arms, greedily enjoying the present tranquility and warm atmosphere for a while longer.

I always feel that Kiro is a star whenever I go off course. He always illuminates the pathway, pointing the way forward for me. 

Actually, without even realising it, it’s because we’ve seen each others’ light that we could press on.

Encouraging each other, and feeling the way forward in the darkness. 

Until we break through the predicament together.

MC: Thank you, my superhero. I think I’ve regained the ability to fight a little more.

A soft chuckle brushes my ear. Then, a warm and gentle touch is planted on my lower jaw. 

Reminiscent of the whiskers of a kitten brushing past, spreading into a plain of sweetness.

Kiro: At your service anytime, my Miss Chips.

-

With that, Kiro and I sit in the “box” together, resuming our work. 

He lays on the ground, scribbling and drawing on the music sheet, while I hug the laptop to myself, working hard to squeeze out a proposal.

The typing sounds on the laptop remain intermittent as before, but no longer have the sense of repression and frustration from earlier.

With his presence, I actually manage to complete a draft of the proposal without realising it. 

It isn’t excellent, and there are many areas which require editing. Nevertheless, I’ve already tided over the most difficult period.

I move my neck and shoulders, then shift a little closer to Kiro.

Same as before, Kiro is wholly absorbed in the music sheet in his hands.

Even though I can’t tell his current progress, based on his expression and posture, he should be the same as me, breaking free from the lowest point of production.

I observe him quietly for a long time. In the end, my playfulness triumphs, and I think of pulling a tiny prank on him.

Lifting Kiro’s right hand, I burrow into his arms. 

MC: Surprise~

Probably not expecting me to do this, Kiro is left dumbfounded. However, he subconsciously props himself up and hugs me. 

Kiro: Miss Chips?

MC: A little reward for the hardworking musician.

Saying this, I tilt my head upwards and give him a light peck on the chin.

My sudden attack and the closing of distance between us enables me to successfully capture the faint redness on Kiro’s face.

Kiro: ...mm, how’s your proposal doing?

MC: At the moment, there are positive prospects.

Just like this, I wrap my arms around his neck, tousling his soft, golden coloured hair.

Because of my action, the ponytail is now in disarray.

I simply hook my fingers underneath Kiro’s rubber band, untying it, feeling the softness of his hair in between my fingers.

MC: How’s your song doing?

Kiro: At the moment, there are positive prospects.

He mimics my words, inserting one earplug into my ear.

A somewhat rough demo occupies my hearing.

I close my eyes, immersed in the music he has given to me. My fingers twirl the wire of the earpiece, tracing the rhythm.

Kiro: Although it isn’t done yet, the overall main key won’t change.

It’s a somewhat slow tune.

It's quiet, and even brings with it a heavy and melancholic melody. It’s reminiscent of a self-reflection, and also like a careful recount.

Kiro: Even though this tune is a little sombre, I still wrote it. 

Kiro: Because I know you’d definitely say that you like such songs too.

MC: Of course.

I say this with certainty. He smiles and lowers his head, the tips of our noses gently touching.

MC: Kiro, I came across a saying once.

MC: The process of writing a song is actually a writer’s conversation with himself.

MC: Although I don’t know what you said to yourself, if this melody is your answer, I like it very much.

Our drifting breaths channel a temperature slightly higher than the sunlight.

MC: Including these slightly heavy portions - I like them very much.

Saying this, I crinkle my eyes, humming along with the melody from the earpiece.

Kiro releases a sigh, hugging me tightly.

Kiro: [sighs] Why does this song become so sweet when you hum it? 

Before I can respond, Kiro continues. 

Kiro: [laughs] It must be because MC is a jar of honey.

He nods with force, seeming to be very satisfied with this answer. Then, it’s as though something occurs to him, and he plants a kiss on my forehead. 

Kiro: See? It’s very sweet.

MC: What...

I laugh, pretending to push at his chest.

MC: Looks like I have to stay a little further away from you next time, so you won’t become overweight.

Kiro: Hehe, it’s already too late! My feelings come in large portions, so it’s too late to say that.

Kiro presses me against the woollen blanket, embracing me with even more strength than before.

Kiro: Miss Chips has already been firmly held onto by me.

Kiro: I’ll leave a stamp.

While he says this, he nibbles the side of my neck half-jokingly, and half-declaratory.

He doesn’t use strength, but the electric-like sensation makes me forget how to breathe for a moment. 

The charmingly tepid air leaves my cheeks burning crimson.

Kiro’s hug is tight, yet very careful. It’s as though he’s embracing the one and only treasure in the entire world. 

MC: It’s not like I can really run away...

Not minding my soft mumbling, another kiss descends on the shell of my ear, as though seeking a confirmation.

His breaths lift up strands of stray hair near my ear. They brush against my earlobe, as scorching as his lips.

Kiro: MC, I’m actually timid and a little childish.

Kiro buries his head in my shoulder, speaking softly.

Kiro: When it comes to things I don’t like, I’ll always think of hiding them and locking them up. I won’t see them, and I won’t let other people see them.

Kiro: But if it’s you...

I secretly take a few deep breaths, cradling his face a little stiffly yet carefully, tilting my head upwards. 

MC: Thank you for trusting me.

Kiro: ...

Kiro’s eyes widen slightly, and his lips part and close. It’s as though he wants to say something, but returns to a blank.

At the end of a short silence, Kiro speaks solemnly. 

Kiro: I’ll definitely finish this song. 

He lowers his voice slightly. Even though this sentence is as light as a feather, I know that he’s as serious as making a vow. 

Kiro: I’ll definitely finish this song, and sing various versions of myself to you in the future.

Kiro: Even the parts which are heavier, and the parts I’m unwilling to face myself.

MC: Mm. I’ll definitely listen earnestly.

Following the trail of his spine, I stroke his back lightly, giving him my promise.

Kiro: I know. 

Kiro: It’s precisely because no matter what melody it is, you’ll definitely sing it into a song akin to honey.

Kiro: Which is why I have such courage. 

I no longer speak, only giving him a serious nod.

Both his breathing and heart beats can be heard, regular and steady.

Kiro: Since we’ve reached an agreement, should I leave another stamp?

Kiro’s voice is once again light-hearted, even carrying with it a twinge of slyness. 

MC: Wait! The most important thing now should be noting down the hard-earned inspiration before it goes away!

I grip several music sheets at the side, pressing them against his chest, attempting to flee from his arms.

MC: Get to work quickly!

Kiro: Why are you like this?

Kiro pouts, showing me his signature, puppy-eyed expression of dejection.

MC: I won’t be duped by your gaze again. I’m going to become a merciless supervisor, so you can finish your work before the deadline!

Seeing that his plan has been foiled, Kiro simply gives up “pretending”. With a smile, he grips my struggling wrist, pressing it to the side. 

MC: Where’s your professionalism? Could it...

A prolonged kiss seals up the words I haven’t spoken.

Kiro: It’s exactly because of my professionalism that I can say with certainty...

Kiro smiles, his sapphire-like eyes radiating an azure colour even more eye-catching than the clear skies of winter.

Perhaps he hasn’t realised it himself, but he looks at me with the most burning and clear gaze, sticking out the tip of his tongue. Like a dragonfly flitting across water, he wets his lower lip.

Kiro: Before my inspiration vanishes, there’s still time to act coquettishly with my favourite Miss Chips.

-

Phone calls: First // Second

[newmusickarl]

Album & EP Recommendations

My word, the music world has well and truly spoiled us this week!

The past seven days has seen a colossal avalanche of new releases, so much so I’ve barely had chance to keep up with it all. Although this is not the full list of everything from the past seven days, here are the 16 (yes, 16!) new releases I’ve enjoyed the most this week.

As there is so much to get through the rundowns are (mostly) a bit shorter than normal and there is no single Album of the Week, instead I simply recommend checking out whichever album or track sounds most appealing depending on your preferred taste.

So without further ado then, here’s what’s good:

Californian Soil by London Grammar

It’s been four years since the release of London Grammar’s last record Truth Is A Beautiful Thing - an album that I enjoyed, but I’ll admit also left me feeling somewhat underwhelmed coming off the back of their incredible breakout debut, If You Wait. As it turns out, the band themselves were also having a tough time around that period, with front woman Hannah Reid in particular battling relentless industry sexism, as well as the persistent physical pain caused by her fibromyalgia condition. With this being the case, it is amazing that the young indie-pop trio have made it to their third album at all, let alone delivering what is their best work to date.

Opening on a grand, string-drenched Intro, the record soon morphs into the sun-soaked guitars and soaring orchestration of the album’s glorious title track. It marks an early highlight as Reid catches the audience up with the tribulations of the last few years – “I left my soul on Californian soil.” From there the album doesn’t really let up as the band move through a series of career-defining tracks – the gorgeous contemporary groove of Missing, the dance-influenced How Does It Feel, the chilled-out ambience of the dreamy Baby, It’s You and the sublime, stripped-back closer America.

However, the album’s strongest moment comes when Reid confronts music industry sexism head on with defiant anthem Lord It’s A Feeling. Beginning with some twinkly xylophone, before evolving into an atmospheric synth-laced backdrop where Reid pulls no punches:

“I saw the way you made her feel, like she should be somebody else,

I know you think the stars align for you and not for her as well,

I undеrstand, I can admit that I have felt those things mysеlf”

The cutting lyrics against some blinding quiet rave instrumentation leaves quite the impression, as does this sterling record in general. After a slight misstep, London Grammar have well and truly rediscovered themselves and they have honestly never sounded better – a truly incredible album.

If You Could Have It All Again by Low Island

Oxford electo-pop outfit Low Island are another band that have defied expectations to get to this point. This, their debut album, was not recorded in a professional music studio – in fact, the vocals were recorded in a bedroom cupboard of all places. The band themselves don’t even have a manager or a record label. In every sense of the word, they are a truly independent band. For a self-financed, self-produced effort, If You Could Have It All Again is a quite remarkable first outing.

From melodic, uplifting opener Hey Man, the record quickly jumps into spoken word electro punk banger What Do You Stand For, featuring acid-drenched synths and a dancefloor-ready groove. Fans of FIFA 21 will recall Don’t Let the Light In, with the glitchy pulse of recent single Who’s Having the Greatest Time also standing out. That said, it’s the smooth, infectious sway of I Do It For You that still pulls me in the most.

Having followed the band since their early EPs, I’ve been rooting for Low Island for a while now and this is one debut album I was highly anticipating this year. Safe to say, my expectations have been met – this is a fantastic, accomplished record, which leaves me eager to see where they go next.

The Greatest Mistake Of My Life by Holding Absence

There was a time when the difficult second album used to be a thing, but listening to the sophomore effort from Welsh rock band Holding Absence this week, I’m really not sure that exists anymore. After a dramatic and impressive self-titled debut two years ago, the band have wasted little time taking things up a notch, with this new album cinematic and masterfully produced from beginning to end.

From standout singalong anthems like Afterlife and In Circles, to the album’s epic seven-minute penultimate track Mourning Song, The Greatest Mistake of My Life shows a band pushing themselves and driving forward with ambition at every opportunity. In a year packed with outstanding rock and metal albums already, this is most definitely another one you can add onto that list. Soaring, impressive and demanding of repeat listens.

We Forgot We Were Dreaming by Saint Raymond

It’s been six long years since Nottingham-born singer-songwriter Callum Burrows, AKA Saint Raymond, released his debut album. However it seems the time away has been well spent as this long-awaited follow-up finds Burrows in fine form, with this album packed to the brim with catchy, glossily produced indie-pop anthems.

From the brilliant title track that opens the record, to the bouncy riffs of Right Way Round, Talk and Solid Gold, to more subdued and heartfelt moments like Only You, this album will have you smiling, singing your heart out and dancing your troubles away.

Flu Game by AJ Tracey

AJ Tracey may have only been three years old when Michael Jordan was winning NBA championships with the Chicago Bulls, but that hasn’t stopped him making a record influenced by the legendary icon and his famous 1997 Flu Game. Like many others including myself, grime superstar AJ Tracey spent lockdown watching the brilliant The Last Dance documentary, and this record weirdly works as a fantastic unofficial companion, but also just a great summer rap record.

McCartney III Imagined by Paul McCartney

Even if like me you completely missed Sir Paul McCartney’s 2020 album McCartney III, it’s well worth checking out this reimagining, where he has called on the help of some of his famous musician pals. This is a real who’s who line up of guest features including Beck, Khurangbin, St. Vincent, Blood Orange, Phoebe Bridgers, Damon Albarn, Josh Homme, Anderson .Paak and more, making for quite a fascinating mix of sounds and styles.

Moratorium (Broadcasts from The Interruption) by Enter Shikari

And finally on the albums front this week, genre-benders Enter Shikari have released a brilliant compilation of all their lockdown live performances, headlined by an incredible string-tinged acoustic version of The Dreamer’s Hotel and a beautifully stripped-back “At Home” rendition of Live Outside.

Tracks of the Week

Introvert by Little Simz

Wow, wow and wow again. Still fairly fresh off the back of her masterful, Mercury Prize nominated third album Grey Area, this week British rapper Little Simz released the first taste of her next record in the form of this epic and triumphant opening track. At six minutes in length, this majestic and operatic political anthem aims to grab the listener by the collar and shake them awake. Without a doubt, one of the best songs of the year so far, the powerful video for which you can view above.

Smile by Wolf Alice

The second taste of their forthcoming album Blue Weekend, Smile continues Wolf Alice’s pattern for alternating Loud/Soft releases, with this one featuring buzzy guitars, punky vocals and a hypnotic chorus melody.

Beautiful Beaches by James

Although written off the back of the California wildfires that impacted front man Tim Booth’s local community, the lyrics on the band’s latest anthem purposefully offer a dual meaning, giving hope to those dreaming of a post-lockdown getaway and fresh start.

He Said She Said by CHVRCHES

The Scottish trio made their much-anticipated return this week, with Lauren Mayberry also sharing her experiences of sexism on this arena-ready synth-pop banger.

Matty Healy by Georgia Twinn

Georgia Twinn delivers an infectiously catchy break-up anthem, inspired by an ex-boyfriend, who’s most interesting feature was supposedly looking like the 1975 frontman.

Kill It by Vukovi

Underground Scottish rock outfit Vukovi’s new single is so good, they even managed to get KILL IT trending over the weekend of its release. Masterfully produced with big bold riffs and trancey synths, this one just sounds huge.

Can’t Carry On by Gruff Rhys

The latest solo single from the former Super Furry Animals frontman is a stunning, super-melodic tune with an instant chorus you’ll be singing before the track has even finished its first play.

Ceremony by Deftones

One of the highlights off their last album Ohms, the nu-metal rockers have now delivered a cinematic new video directed by horror legend Leigh Whannell. Check it out!

Chasing Birds by Foo Fighters

And finally this week, Dave Grohl and company released a trippy new animated video for this Medicine At Midnight cut to help celebrate 420 in their own unique way. Again, well worth a watch!

[soundsof71]

Hey! Album: 'Fleetwood Mac' (1975) - Fleetwood Mac

Hey! Great to hear from you! You (and your previous blog) were my original inspiration for trying to raise my tumblr game to something intentionally curated, and more than that, personally creative. Sorry to have let you down. LOL

What a pleasure to talk about this one, though, an album I think is -- strangely enough -- one of the most underrated albums in the classic rock pantheon!

What’s that you say? An album with “Rhiannon” and “Landslide” underrated?!?! Well it’s true, seriously underrated, at least partly because those two stellar, nay, legendary songs are the first ones that most people think of. There's so much more! It's definitely my favorite Fleetwood Mac album!

My perspective is a little different than the standard rap that Fleetwood Mac didn't properly begin until those two California kids joined the band in 1975, because to me, they started taking off when their first American joined the band, Bob Welch in 1971 for Future Games, which I wrote about at some length here. 

(For the record, Future Games is my second favorite Fleetwood Mac album. Anyone who hasn't checked it out really needs to.)

I’ll leave it at that for now, except to observe that to most of my music nerd friends at the time, I was a latecomer to Fleetwood Mac the band, having completely missed their earlier, bluesier lineups. Indeed, the 1971 lineup was their 8th! And they'd come to #9 in 1972, before landing on lineup #10 in 1975.

They had a bunch of hits on the five albums in this 71-74 range (”Hypnotized” is one that still slays me) that I think hold up as among their best ever. While the album before Fleetwood Mac, Heroes Are Hard to Find didn’t have a hit single, it rose to #34 on the US charts, and got plenty of attention. 

My point is that Fleetwood Mac didn’t spring into existence out of nowhere in 1975. Nor was 1975 necessarily ground zero for the millions of people who bought the album Fleetwood Mac. It came out in the summer of ‘75, but took 15 months to hit #1 in the US! (It peaked at #11 in the UK.) This was a far bigger album in 1976 when all the singles came out, and the band was touring like crazy to support it.

They basically dragged the album to the top of the charts kicking and screaming by the end of THAT year with relentless touring, setting the stage for their true commercial breakthrough with Rumours in 1977, but artistically? I prefer everything about 1975′s Fleetwood Mac.

btw, the music nerds know that Fleetwood Mac was recorded at Sound City Studios, which makes all the difference in the telling of the tale. In 1974, the band had located to Los Angeles, and following the departure of Bob Welch in December, Mick Fleetwood went looking for both a recording studio and a guitarist. 

While getting to know producer Keith Olsen at Sound City (a studio legendary for its drum sound, among other things), Keith played Mick some tracks from an album he’d recorded here a couple of years earlier with a local guitarist and his girlfriend singer, both of whom were also songwriters.

Mick said, I’ll book the studio to record my next album, I’ll book you to produce, and I’ll hire the guitarist....who famously informed Mick that he and his girlfriend were a package deal. All of this happened because of Sound City Studios.

(Here's Mick recording this very album in this very studio.)

Your friend and mine Dave Grohl directed a FANTASTIC documentary about Sound City Studios, a kind of a dump to be honest, but where tons of phenomenal records were made, from After The Gold Rush to Caribou, Damn The Torpedoes, Nevermind, Rage Against The Machine, and most recently, Phoebe Bridgers’ Punisher. Lots and lots of stories about the making of Fleetwood Mac in this movie, and much more. 

Here’s the trailer. The whole movie is available on YT, too! And Amazon Prime, and a bunch of other places. HIGHLY recommended!

So here we go taking directly about Fleetwood Mac.....

the first song from the album i heard: "Over My Head". This was the first single released in the US, remarkably, four months after the album was released! I dunno, did the label not want to sell any albums? Or did they just not get how catchy these tunes were? I have no idea.

And ironically, the band didn't like the choice of "Over My Head" at all, ranking it dead-last in their own considerations of likely singles! I think that this is evidence that they were using heavy drugs much earlier than we thought. LOL

"Over My Head" peaked at #20 in the US, their highest to date by far, although, in some defense of the band's reservations, didn't chart at all in the UK. Saying that it rose to "only" 20 in the charts doesn't begin to describe how heavily it was played, though. A LOT.

do i own the album: Did then, Spotify now. The answer for most of the albums in this round of Asks. :-)

my favorite song: "Over My Head". Look, I admit that this is insane when Fleetwood Mac also includes "Landslide" and "Rhiannon." "Landslide" in particular is maybe one of the greatest songs anyone has ever written, and every single person reading this knows somebody named Rhiannon because of that song. (I've met two.) And hey, "Say You Love Me" was a MUCH bigger hit at the time too... but I'm tellin' ya, "Over My Head" fucks. 

It's the single version that fucks hardest, though, no doubt about it. I was disappointed when I finally bought the album that the version there fades in (NO! THIS IS WRONG) and has a wide mix that diffuses the impact. The radio version is so tight that it's practically mono, and it punches you right upside the head. 

One of my favorite things about listening to "Over My Head" in the past couple of weeks for this Ask is that it's Old School Fleetwood Mac. Chris on piano, Mick on drums, and John McVie with what might be the best bassline that anyone stroked out in 1975. My god, it's a fucking monster, and it just gets hotter as the song progresses. By the end, it's on fire, and you hear it so much better in this tight single mix.

The new guy adds a nice little solo on top of a nice rhythm lick, and he and Stevie add background vocals, but they're not front and center. "Over My Head" is really Christine McVie's showcase, although Fleetwood and Mac really shine too. This would have been a monster hit without the new kids, as indeed it pretty much was. You could say the same thing about "Say You Love Me", which is also all about Christine's songcraft, and a voice like no other, then or now.

Here's my edit of a lovely Mick Putland photo of Christine McVie from a couple of years earlier.

I guarantee that it's been way too long since you heard the in-your-face single version of "Over My Head". On Spotify, you can find it on the couple of Deluxe Editions of Fleetwood Mac (here's one), and it's also on the anthology, The Very Best of Fleetwood Mac, which I've embedded here. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw-lIt1ILzk

least favorite song: "I'm So Afraid." I'm so afraid not. LOL

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: Hmm, I might put "Sugar Daddy" in that category, but honestly, the main thing I don't like about this song is the title. LOL But it's the 4th best Christine McVie song on an album where the best three of hers were all released as singles, so I guess it all works out.

a song I used to like, but now don’t: Anything by the new guy. I'm not going to go into detail here because what I love about this album, I still love. At the time, I dug two of his songs here (you can guess which two, surely), but I started to really despise this guy a few years later. Now, I can't listen to anything where he's prominent at all, on any Fleetwood Mac records.

Fortunately there are more than enough Christine and Stevie songs, and Mick and John's playing, plus all those earlier albums like Future Games, to keep Fleetwood Mac in the rock good pantheon. I'd have fired the new guy 30 years earlier than he was. 

favorite lyric:

Mirror in the sky

What is love?

Can the child within my heart rise above?

Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?

Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changin'

'Cause I've built my life around you

But time makes you bolder

Even children get older

And I'm getting older too

Like I said, the two Stevie Nicks tracks on Fleetwood Mac deserve every bit of the love they've gotten over the years. You can also see with just a quick glance around my blog that she's one of my most-posted artists. Please don't take me repping Christine as any disrespect for Stevie!

Do I like "Landslide" a little more than I otherwise might because it's specifically about outgrowing the aforementioned new guy? Maybe.  Or do I like it a little less than I otherwise might because I can't hear it without thinking of him? Maybe that too.

overall rating out of 10: Then: 9.4. Now: 9. The new guy went 2-for-4 for my money at the time, and the two that he whiffed on are genuinely terrible...but as bad as those two clunkers were, the rest of the album seemed perfect to me. Certainly among my most-played mainstream rock records into the early 80s. I was perfectly fine skipping one song on each side.

Even though nowadays I can't stand any of the songs he sings lead on, you take those off, and you STILL have "Landslide", "Rhiannon", "Say You Love Me", "Over My Head", and "Warm Ways". No album with ALL THOSE on them gets less than an 8.5, right?

I'm adding a few tenths each for how tightly Fleetwood and Mac are locked into each other and these songs on rythm (easily the most underrated duo of the era, sez me), and Keith Olsen's immaculate production. The score of 9 is therefore objectively correct and mathematically unassailable. LOL

I'm going to end where I began, by talking about Christine McVie. Instead of listening to this first and foremost as an album with a couple of giant Stevie Nicks songs, listen again to Fleetwood Mac as Christine McVie really lighting things up. She deserves so much more credit for the band's success than she gets, and seriously, "Over My Head" fucks. 

Now looky here, @aluacrescente . I know that YOU have strong feelings about this record, so spill! And the rest of you, too! I don't intend to have the last word on the albums in any of these Asks! Just the first one. :-) So lemme know what YOU think!

PS. Apologies for any formatting weirdness! I started this on desktop, where I do all my writing, saved the first few paragraphs to come back to later, only to be told by tumblr that I'd stated this on the app (DID NOT) and could only edit there. Grrr. Not cool, @staff. I've spent another day just tweaking to make it somewhat readable and wondering how these people can be so bad at their jobs. LOL

My crackpot opinions and wobbly writing are my own of course, and I'm aware that they have a larger negative impact on readability than tumblr's incompetence by far. LOL

[dinosaurtsukki]

haikyuu!! music idol au (nekoma and fukurodani vers.)

i haven’t actually posted some hc’s in a while because i’ve been reading the manga but i hope you guys enjoy this surprise !! also check out the karasuno vers. and seijoh and shiratorizawa vers. for more music idol au’s 

TOKYO IDOLS ENTERTAINMENT

(this may or may not be the last of this series, maybe I’ll make one for inarizaki and date tech who knows?)

Also I hope y’all are ready for me Badly Titling Things Again

Okay so they’re both under Tokyo Idols Entertainment

Hah that wasn’t so bad was it just wait for it

Stray Cats and OWL6

This blogger’s brain cells are so fried that they’ve now resorted to puns

sO THEY’RE BOTH UNDER TOKYO IDOLS AND THEY’RE REALLY AMAZING GROUPS AND THEIR TALENT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SHITTY GROUP NAMES

anyway so it was set up by Nekomata and they’ve been pretty good at producing groups over the years but their biggest hits have been their two recent groups

both of them actually started at the same time but they work with quite different concepts and have different dynamics

but they tend to collab and interact with each other a lot which the fans love

so lets get into the groups

Stray Cats - Nekoma

their leader is Kuroo ofc and they work with a lot of bad boy/edgy concepts and their music is more on the hip-hop and R&B side

a lot of their music videos and outfits are in the black-and-white with pops of red, blue, and yellow

you think the fans would get tired of seeing them in matching suits and leather jackets but no

anyway, Kuroo’s they’re leader who’s also main rapper, dancer, and visuals

he actually started out as a vocalist but since Stray Cats was going to be more of a hip-hop group he eventually picked up rapping (although those who have Deeply Analyzed the backing vocals for some of their tracks claim that Kuroo’s vocals will save the world)

his dancing looks super fluid and natural because he also tried ballet dancing at one point

sometimes he films himself practicing and shows off by wearing stilettos and not once tripping over himself

kai and yaku were his fellow trainees and just like in the manga, kuroo and yaku did not get along and kai had to be there to make sure no one died

kuroo and yaku were quite competitive with their dancing but eventually they realized that the fans loved their dynamic during their dances and worked together for once

their choreos almost always involve someone carrying yaku on their shoulders

he’s also another main rapper and he’s really good at a variety of styles

he’s also the mom of the group and likes to check on everyone before going live

the one who trains the more inexperienced members with their choreography and while he’s very much a perfectionist, he’s also the one who reassures them when they make a mistake on a live stage

kai is actually the genius behind most of their songs because his producer skills are mad crazy he’s been invited to collab with so many other artists (including the wonderful Kiyoko-san)

kuroo and yaku have no idea what goes on in his head but it’s probably music

they always make sure that kai gets enough sleep and is eating right when he’s working on an album

his dancing is pretty solid but he’s more well-known for being a main rapper and his smooth, sultry voice during the chorus that gives everyone eargasms

next we have kenma who’s one of the few main vocalists of the group

his voice is a nice tenor and he can hit a good amount of the high notes

can harmonize like it’s nobody’s business

he and kuroo had been friends since they were practically born and while kuroo dreamed of becoming a music idol onstage, kenma was more interested in songwriting and producing music

he joined Tokyo Idols for the opportunity to be a producer but Nekomata was like ‘why not be an idol?’ and kenma was like ‘no, I’ll have to dance’

he was then persuaded by kuroo and kenma decided to do some vocal training to make up for not wanting to move around so much

so, most of the time, he’s in the back and during his turn in the chorus he’ll make a bit of an appearance

he has done a few live solo performances but he’s playing the piano in them so he doesn’t have to look at the audience so much

he loves working with kai in the studio more than anything

doesn’t have a social media account because he doesn’t want to see how the fans talk about him (they mostly say good stuff though!)

now we have taketora who’s the main rapper of the group as well

this guy is an expert beatboxer and he does a very good job of hyping up the crowd

his rap is the kind that even fires up his teammates and they always let him know that he did a good job after every performance

he actually has a good amount of tattoos on his arms and he used to cover them with long-sleeves but the fans love them arms and the tattoos even more so

#MakeTaketoraSleeveless movement on Twitter thus begins

Taketora was super flattered but okay with it

Fukunaga is another main vocalist and he has a very deep voice that blends really well with his fellow vocalists

His voice doesn’t stand out that much and he doesn’t have a lot of solos but Stray Cats’ specialty is really blending their vocals (aside from their rappers and dancers)

And you can also definitely notice a difference when Fukunaga isn’t singing a part

He’s also the kind of dancer who does a lot of cartwheel and flip-like stunts that come in during the dance breaks

Has this habit of staring blankly in the distance during group interviews and fans make memes using his face

He also likes messing with his senpai’s but they all blame lev and don’t suspect a thing with Fukunaga (well, that’s until he posts the video)

Lastly, we have lev who is the youngest among all of them and also main vocalist and visuals

He has a nice baritone voice and he does most of the singing in the chorus but tends to get a bit lost when Fukunaga and Kenma come in

A lot of his time is spent practicing how to not get lost when people are harmonizing with him, especially since that’s what Stray Cat’s known for

He actually came in a bit late, like after the group had its first debut since they felt like they needed another vocalist

Lev also has a natural talent when it comes to dancing so Nekomata added him to the group

It was a bit difficult integrating him into the group but he also added onto the overall chemistry as the baby of the group

As much as they know he makes mistakes, his senpais always congratulate Lev on how far he’s come

No one wants to admit that he gets handsomer by the day because it will add to his ego but the fans do enough of that

OWL6 - fukurodani

They only have four members (because idk a lot about all the members and I also wanted to have like a four-person group)

JUST BECAUSE THERE’S A NUMBER 6 IN THE NAME OF THE GROUP DOESN’T MEAN THAT’S HOW MANY MEMBERS THERE ARE *glares at SEVENTEEN* *also I ended up looking up how many members there are in Day6 and now I feel bad I’m sorry day6 fans*

aNYWAY

They’re a very small group since Tokyo Idol wanted to try out having a four-person group

They don’t really have a singular kind of aesthetic or style like Stray Cats does but work with a variety of them

They do a good number of lively pop songs as well as ballads for the b-side tracks

They’re also made up of four vocalists, two of which also know how to rap, and are overall pretty solid

Bokuto’s their leader (even though its mostly Akaashi who holds the group together) but he speaks a lot for the group during interviews

He’s main vocalist, main dancer, and also main visual

His stage presence is astounding especially with his natural talent for dancing and his stamina is endless

He can sing really well even busting out the hardest dance moves

Although he’s unquestionably talented, he does get hit hard by online haters and will shut himself in the dance studio to practice until everyone drags him out

He’s super endearing and sweet around his fans, he’ll remember a fan that he saw more than once and send letters in response to fanmail

Bokuto’s known for being super clumsy though and he has destroyed a mic or his clothes or someone else’s clothes more than once

Once tripped on the way when OWL6 was about to receive an award

Sarukui is another main vocalist and rapper

His voice is quite deep but it sounds really melodic and unique that anyone could tell when he’s singing

Also knows a thing or two about music production and has helped produce a few of their tracks

He’s the one assigned to saying ‘That’s our leader!’ to Bokuto when he’s feeling down

Also responsible for the ‘Bokuto and Akaashi are dating’ prank on Twitter that became a whole thing

A shitposter, basically

Konoha Akinori is once again our jack of all trades, especially since he’s rapper, dancer, vocalist, and visuals

I would say that his back hurts from carrying OWL6 but each member knows how to hold their own

His back just hurts from curling up like a shrimp when he’s asleep

He gets a lot of lines because of this and fans love it when he leads the dance breaks, that being said he’s also tired all the time

Konoha has fallen asleep in interviews more than once and Sarukui takes the pictures of him

Because of his jack of all trades nature he also has a lot of weird, random talents that he likes to showcase in variety shows

These weird talents range from being able to name all of the countries in Europe backwards to being able to make a slingshot using his feet and a rubber band

It’s always something new with him

Everyone cheers him on except for Akaashi who’s soul has left his body

And last but definitely not the least, we have the youngest in the group, Akaashi, who’s also main vocals and visual

Everyone in OWL6 agree that Akaashi is the prettiest among them  

He also has such a sweet and beautiful voice that gives everyone eargasms

Sometimes everyone has to stop dancing during practice whenever they hear Akaashi sing

He also does a lot of vocal covers that he posts online and has released a few solo albums since he’s always working on making new music

Although everyone knows that he’d also do really well as a solo artist, Akaashi knows that his members were the reason why he wanted to debut in the first place and it just wouldn’t be the same without them

Extra HC’s for Stray Cats and OWL6

Kuroo and Bokuto have been friends since their trainee years and even though they were disappointed about not debuting in the same group they agreed to collab on a lot of things

During award shows they like to have a performance together, most often a dance cover, until Akaashi and Kenma decided to help out by writing a song for the two of them to perform

The members of both groups like to sneak into each other’s dorms because the more the merrier and they share and order food

Yaku and Kai actually like staying in the OWL6 dorms more because its quieter (since Lev and Tora aren’t there) but change their mind when they see Bokuto

Eventually they divided the dorms into ‘the quiet people’ and ‘the noisy people’

Both of the groups love doing those Halloween performances and dressing up really scary with the same level of production and everything

None of those cutesy costumes, Fukunaga will straight up come in a headless man costume and Sarukui brings a fake chainsaw with him

Some of them like to do really weird costumes though like Lev dressing up as a bottle of vodka and Konoha coming in dressed as Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street

Sometimes the fans just don’t know what goes on in their heads

Kai tends to get a lot of awards for his producing skills but the first time he did Stray Cats came onstage with him and basically cried all around him while Kai tried to do his speech

They also like to mess around in the comments section when another group is doing a VLive

For example, Kuroo commented ‘send feet pics’ during one of OWL6’s lives and Bokuto retaliated by uploading the ugly selfies that Kuroo takes on his phone

They also either make up the fanchants or memorize each other’s fanchants for the songs

Yahaba, watching Stray Cats doing the fanchant for OWL6′s song: why can’t we be like that?

Iwaizumi: because we have Oikawa

Oikawa: IT’S NOT MY FAULT IT’S USHIWAKA 

[radramblog]

Radiohead Retrospective Part 9: Hold me, hold me

We’ve arrived at the final Radiohead album to date. The only one to come out since I became a fan, and as such the one I can actually remember listening to for the first time. On a cold winter morning in Perth (so not that cold), releasing on a Monday, I excitedly ran up to buy the album on iTunes and download it before I had to catch the bus to uni. The last time I think I will ever have bought music on that platform, at this point. I remember listening to the opening two tracks, the two that had dropped with gorgeous videos over the weekend, before diving into the album proper.

And then a mate showed up at the station when I was transferring buses so I ended up talking to him instead of listening to the second half, and I didn’t get to do that until the afternoon.

I think it’s fitting that this album be the one with such a story attached, considering how personal an album it is compared to the previous few. A Moon Shaped Pool is a clear reflection of the events surrounding it- Thom’s divorce from his partner of 25 years, Rachel Owen, and her subsequent early passing from cancer, and the death of producer Nigel Godrich’s father during the recording sessions. There’s a deep loneliness and tragedy in the album, and one that seriously resonates with the times.

With that in mind, Burn The Witch is kind of an odd fit for the album. Themes of mob mentality and moral panic, images of medieval plague houses and witch hunts don’t quite suit the tone A Moon Shaped Pool generally conveys. Which is why it’s probably for the best that the song appears at the very start of the album, somewhat separated from the bulk of the work.

This might imply that I don’t like the song. Far from it, for a while, Burn the Witch was my favourite track on the entire thing. I adore strings on rocky music, and in this case, they almost chug, like the guitars on a System of a Down song, with the electronic elements being such an excellent subtle contrasting part of the music. Thom’s vocals are all-encompassing in the chorus, and the timing of the strings getting that little psychotic edge to them at the same time is so perfect.  

As much as the album is separate from this song, it’s still an excellent choice for an opener, both in the tracklist and the promotion. Because like a fair few other songs on this album, Burn the Witch has been a Radiohead song without a home for a very long time, as early as the Kid A era, with early versions of its lyrics showing up in the Hail to the Thief art and website. It was something hardcore fans had been clamoring for for more than a decade, especially after one live show where Thom responded to the cries by playing the first few bars- and then saying “alright for the rest of it you’ll have to wait until we get the orchestra” (paraphrased). And get the orchestra they did, with its majesty in this song being a statement.

Daydreaming is an extremely different song from Burn the Witch, as one would imagine from what I’ve said previous. Piano driven and muffled with allusions to Plato’s Cave, it’s a song that sounds like giving up, and all the pain (and all the comfort) associated with it. The song is a slow, slow build to an emotional climax who’s lyrics are incomprehensible on account of being backmasked. For the record, it’s commonly believed that they’re “Half of my life”, a reference again to Thom’s relationship with his late wife.

The song is relaxing for its majority, the soft pianos and vocals a cold comfort to the defeated emotion the song portrays. This is sort of shocked out of the system 5 minutes in, as the strings are louder and clearer, and the backmasked vocals get more distorted, and loud, sounding like snoring, drowning out the gentler electronic sounds. This does eventually settle, with both strings and vocals lowering to more of a rumble, everything else fading out until they are all that remain. The note the song ends on is kind of disturbing, frankly.

It’s somewhat awkward that the two songs with music videos are at the very start of the album, leaving the rest of this to be a wall of text. I’ll find something.

Track 3 presents an interesting parallel with OK Computer, with both Decks Dark and its Subterranean Homesick Alien using UFOs as metaphor for the human condition. Instrumentally, of course, they’re completely different, but the thematic tie is there. Decks Dark has also at some point vied for the place of my favourite track on the album, the very fun, rhythmic delivery of the vocals in the verse something I’m fond of singing along to, and that absolutely killer backing choral giving the song a haunting feel.

Decks Dark effectively has four distinct sections- Chorus(?) 1, Verse, Chorus 2, Outro. The first chorus is this very mysterious thing, light on instrumentation aside from an electronic drum beat and a simple piano line (with heavily panned noises that I’m pretty sure are only in the right ear). The verse, as I mentioned, has the haunting choral and fresh bars, a heavier piano laden into its airy instrumental, a quiet but killer bassline that gets to kind of show up in the second chorus. Chorus 2 feels like a reflection of the first, a bit more grounded, the mystery explored, and the outro is… I mean the bass and piano are great but I always forget about this part of the track, like I could take it or leave it. Fortunately for said outro, the song is very much more than the sum of its parts, and it’s an excellent fit for the album.

Speaking of being able to take or leave things, I’m not particularly huge on Desert Island Disk. A low acoustic guitar-based track, with a distant echo of an electronic piece playing only in your left ear for like, half of the track, with less subtle electronic sections following up, panning between ears, that (and I mean this as a compliment) remind me of the Spore soundtrack. Christ that’s a weird comparison.

There’s an interesting moment where a new acoustic riff comes in right as you’re getting lost in the haze, cutting through the electronic fog (as it becomes the only instrumentation present), which is honestly a very precise bit of musical timing. I do enjoy the lyrics to the song as well, what with its final line probably not deliberately being an LGBT+ affirmation but sure working as one. The song is, basically, pretty okay, but don’t be surprised if I skip it on my next (less thorough) listen-through.

Ful Stop is a track that often convinces me I’ve fucked up my headphones or something, because of how quiet and how slow the buildup for its introduction is. It’s probably the angriest track Radiohead has put out in the last decade, harsh electronics and accusatory vocals kind of a surprise after the chillness of Desert Island Disk. The bass is killer in this song’s first half, and the almost cyclical presentation of its various elements as the bass and drums are still slowly getting louder and clearer is excellent until it breaks into its second half. I…forgot how long the first section of the song was, frankly.

The second section is really interesting, with its twin vocals making like the instrumentation as “Truth will mess you up” slowly gets quieter and quieter to the point of inaudibility and “All the good times” rising into clarity, all while the instrumentation just keeps chugging. I understand this one is one of the songs that predates the album (and unlike Burn the Witch was actually played live), and I’d like to see exactly how that particular one panned out before A Moon Shaped Pool took it’s approach to it. Good track!

Glass Eyes somewhat reminds me of Faust Arp, in that it’s a much quieter, shorter, and vocally driven track than what surrounds it. And just like Faust Arp, I really enjoy it. This track is distilled, purified anxiety, brutal yet familiar lyrics and a soft, hesitant piano line to accompany it. The strings are absolutely beautiful on this song, rising and falling with the lyrics, and especially with the second verse.

This song feels intimate, particularly with its last two lines. “I feel this love to the core” is a great illustration of how, when surrounded by harsh reality and anxiety, positive feelings like love can be amplified in context and touch deeper than they otherwise would. Of course, it’s followed up by “I feel this love turn cold”, as this album is, in fact, about tragedy- what do you do when that source of comfort goes as icy as everything else?

Track number 7 is Identikit, and no I don’t know what that means. Actually I don’t really know what any of this song means, to be honest, but it is kind of a jam. It’s also the track where the album’s title, and this post’s one, come in, in a nigh-incomprehensible background refrain in the first section that I’m pretty sure we only know the words for thanks to the lyrics booklet. The first half of the track is fairly simple, vocals (+ that refrain) along with a simple drum loop and guitar line.

And then the bridge comes in. Larger-than-life, especially as the electronics and backing vocals come in for its second section, but it’s always briefer than I recall. Most of the song stays in the relatively relaxed mood of the first verse, with the second being basically the same as the first instrumentally, though the guitar is doing some really fun noodling and there’s some electronic stuff going on in the other ear. I kinda forgot how much panning there was in the album in general- not the type of album for those with only one working headphone. Identikit is a track for which my feelings are a lot more muted than they used to be- not a bad one by any means, but I used to like it more and I’m not sure what changed.

The Numbers opens with n o i s e s and this luscious piano section, experimental and jazzy but ethereal and vague, before its main guitar and drums kick in. It’s a very folksy track by and large, still having the feel of the rest of the album but with a twangier guitar and more consistent percussion, grounding the more airy elements of the track with this very real instrumentation.

Speaking of Very Real, this might be surprising for people who only follow Radiohead’s music and not their politics or people, but The Numbers is actually a climate change protest song. It gets a bit more obvious in the second verse, as the strings come in with this very determined mood, and the lyrics get a bit less subtle about the whole thing. I can’t say I know if anyone’s played this track at a climate rally I’ve been to yet (but they should), but it’s kind of interesting that it took this long for such a song to get made, considering how long Thom in particular has been a staunch supporter of, well, not having oil companies burn the world down.

Our next song is Present Tense, one which I think currently sits as my favourite from the album, but boy does it shift. It’s a very groovy piece, almost liquid in its presentation, one I can’t help but jam to a little bit when listening to. There’s some really surprising elements in the track, a…shaker, or whatever you call those things that aren’t quite maracas, as well the echoing vocals feeling like backing singers, whispering almost as they’re layered on top of each other over and over.

The lyricism in the song kind of speaks its own mood- “As my world comes crashing down, I’ll be dancing, freaking out”. It’s a dance of rejection, of denying reality and shutting down to avoid the world and its pain, but you know, while groovin’. There’s a duality to them, with the verses presenting this anxious spiral and its avoidance, as the chorus’s one line- “in you I’m lost”- suggests a lifeline for the person experiencing this scenario. All in all, it’s an excellent track.

Our penultimate track is one with a total so long that Spotify really doesn’t want to show it all, Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor Rich Man Poor Man Beggar Man Thief, which I’m not going to repeat because this post is already super ridiculously long. Fortunately, I have surprisingly little to say about this song. The majority of the track is pretty much fine, good vocals, a relatively basic instrumentation that gets more luxurious for the second verse/chorus, with a second clearer piano line and drums overlaid on their electronic substitutes from the first.

And then the final minute and a half happens, and it’s incredible. There’s no way they could have kept this up for the whole song, but the orchestral section in this part of the song is utterly mindblowing, a beautiful crescendo that serves as the album’s climax, more and more things and strings adding on as the progression of the song just goes and goes until it just…ends. I do wish it was longer, frankly, because there is a whole like half minute of outro that I just wish was more of that instrumental.

The final track on A Moon Shaped Pool is True Love Waits. But to talk about True Love Waits, we need to talk about True Love Waits.

That is to say the live version of the song from a 2001 Oslo concert, present on both I Might Be Wrong: Live Recordings and Radiohead: The Best Of (the closer for both and the concert itself), since along with other tracks from the album this was one that had existed for a while before it finally got put to vinyl. It’s a lovely but surprisingly simple acoustic love song, depressing lyrics and wavering vocals aside. The chorus of the song is “just don’t leave, don’t leave”, a desperate plea for companionship that, in this case, seems to have succeeded. The track genuinely feels happy despite itself, a hopeful end to what was surely a melancholic concert. The video above isn’t that version, it’s from a different performance, but it’s close enough.

But of course, in reality, she eventually did leave. And then she died not long afterwards. This tragedy is reflected in the A Moon Shaped Pool version of True Love Waits, an utterly crushing piece of music. Those same lyrics over a simple piano version of the instrumentation, one that feels almost empty, or hollow, echoing into the void with only itself to answer. Those same lyrics that now feel so much more pained, an awful reminder of what was. The line “I’m not living, I’m just killing time” is so much harsher when the song doesn’t have that bright undercurrent to keep it going. While there’s a lot of emotion packed into the rest of the album, True Love Waits is the sonic equivalent of weeping.

It’s…hard to listen to. I believe it was literally scientifically determined, as far as something like that can be done, to be the most depressing Radiohead song. It’s basically not a song I ever listen to as a result- I really don’t need that energy in my life, honestly. Grieving is hard, obviously, but it’s not really a zone I want to deliberately put myself into.

And that is, ultimately, how A Moon Shaped Pool, and Radiohead’s current album legacy, ends. Not on a whimper, but something kind of like it. It’s a very good album, clearly, but there are moments from it I’d rather pass on most of the time- hence I don’t think it’ll ever be, like, top 3 for me.

At this point, Radiohead’s future is kind of uncertain. The members of the band took a break after this to work on solo projects and the like, but at this point, all of those have pretty much wrapped, and so the rumblings of LP10 are likely on the horizon. There’s no way of knowing what another album would look or sound like at this point, so we’ll just have to see. The band did release a 20 year anniversary edition of OK Computer, though, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see one for Kid A/Amnesiac within the rest of the year. It would, uh, have to be within the rest of the year.

The future of this series is of course similarly unclear. While I could and probably should end it, move on to talk about other albums and bands, some part of me does want to go back and take a look at some other Radiohead stuff. There’s B-Sides, there’s solo projects (which I really haven’t delved into personally), theres TKOL RMX 1234567, the list goes on. I guess you, and I, will both have to see next Tuesday. I hope to see you then, whatever it ends up being.

[d6official]

DAY6: ‘We’ve Always Wanted to Go to India’

The South Korean rock band open about their songwriting process, their aspirations for future records, the definition of authenticity in a world that often dismisses artistry in K-pop and India

I caught up with DAY6 a few months ago via Skype–I’m told the quintet are in the middle of shooting new content for their fans and are dressed in their looks for a video, so it has to be an audio call. I can’t see them and they can’t see me, so of course there’s a lot of giggling, whispering, and moments of ominous silence that then have us all breaking into laughter together. It’s awkward, hilarious and everything you’d imagine a call with DAY6 to be. 

It’s towards the end of the year so there’s a lot going on in the band’s schedule, but they’re an unstoppable force, flying across the globe to complete performances in the U.S. and in Australia. It’s a pretty rare thing to have all five members be able to join in on a single call, so I’m happy to hear all their voices greet me. “We’ve just been on tour and we’re having a good tour so far,” says vocalist and guitarist Jae. “Everyone’s been really welcoming in their countries and really just turning up for us, so we’re happy.” 

DAY6 debuted in September 2015 with leader and guitarist Sungjin, bassist Young K, guitarist Jae, keyboardist Wonpil and drummer Dowoon. All members are trained vocalists, with Young K also doubling as main rapper, and every member contributes to songwriting and production. (The group did have a sixth member, a keyboardist named Junhyeok, but he left in 2016.) Young K also leads the songwriting process, with lyrical contribution in every single track on most of DAY6’s albums. 

The beauty of DAY6’s artistry lies in how versatile they are able to make each track within a single album–in one moment you’re listening to a stadium anthem that’s reminiscent of a young U2, and in the next there’s a segue into Killers-esque post-punk revival. If you’ve been a long-time fan, you probably already know this thanks to their genius ‘Every DAY6’ project through 2017, which saw the band release two songs on the sixth day of almost every month. The result? An expansive, experimentative discography which built two powerful albums– Sunrise and Moonrise–with B-sides that shine just as much as a lead single. Jae explains that there usually isn’t a set idea when they begin an album–a lot of the music is born through songwriting sessions with various producers, where each member gets to go explore any genre they want on their own. It’s a power they’re exercising more and more, especially all through the Book of Us series. “We didn’t really discuss a direction when we started,” Jae says. “Everyone just kind of did what we wanted, which is why the album is a jumble of this and that from everywhere.” In fact songs have a tendency to switch genres in between verses–a great example of this is DAY6’s 2017 single “I Wait.”

The group also credit the genius of JYP Entertainment producer Hong Jisang as a key factor in their creative process. “I think definitely one of our main influences is probably gonna be one of our main producers and that’s Hong Jisang,” says Jae when I ask the band about their musical influences. “He’s a writer that works with us very frequently. For most of our title tracks–actually all of them I think so far. But yeah, he’s definitely one of the main influences because he’s always been kind of our mentor since the beginning of our debut dates… even before that. So he’s been teaching us about songwriting, you know, tracking or melody writing. We have a little bit of a flow just because we’ve grown so close to him as a group.”

“Just one of the reasons why we try any kind of genre or any music is because people do have different tastes in music,” explains Young K. “So if they like at least one of them, then it’s a success for us. Another reason is because we do get to play almost all of them, almost all [their songs] at the concert. So, we do have a chance to show it to the MyDays and the crowd and you get a chance to have fun with it. And I guess it’s just what we aim for as a group.” They’ve stood strong and stuck to their guns when it comes to this process of songwriting and it’s the fuel that expands their creative process, ensuring they don’t stick to one particular sound or vibe.  

I remember back in 2016 when DAY6 began to get more popular, a lot of the attention around them was built of curiosity. As the first band under JYP Entertainment and the one of the first in the third generation of K-pop, both fans and industry professionals were curious to see where the Hallyu Wave would take them. The idea of an ‘idol rock band’ was new to the thousands of fans who had discovered K-pop after the 2016 boom of the genre, and DAY6 didn’t fit any existing stereotype–idol or band. They still don’t, and it’s a powerful statement.

This particular artistic evolution that we’ve seen with DAY6 isn’t easy to achieve in the K-pop idol-sphere of it all; our discussion about artistry in the glittering world of idol culture brings us to the topic of what it’s like to exist as what people believe to be a ‘traditional’ band in the middle of the ‘boy band narrative.’ I ask because it’s something I see often even in India–there’s this idea of authenticity always being tied to the more ‘conventional’ format of a band: artists with their instruments are deemed more ‘legit’ than pop acts. There is an unfortunate tendency among the general public to dismiss artistry created by pop stars and K-pop idols. DAY6 walk the line between the two worlds, and their path to finding that balance often demands a seesaw from one side to another. Have they ever faced a dismissal of their artistry because they’re idols who are also a band? 

“That’s a very deep question,” says Sungjin. There’s a long pause as he gathers his words and then continues, “I personally haven’t seen that big of a difference. We, as a team that emphasizes on writing songs and writing music to appeal to other people, feel that everyone who writes songs or does music has the same objective and goal, therefore [artistry] is the same thing [for every musician.] So we’re not trying to focus on those kinds of factors but just try to focus instead on our music and our creation process so that we could become more authentic artists that appeal to more people.” 

And what is DAY6’s definition of authenticity? 

“When the person who’s creating the music legitimately feels like it’s good music,” says Sungjin firmly.

Right now the authenticity in their songwriting comes from the ordinary. Lead lyricist Young K explains the members draw from everyday experiences and conversations to write songs that are relatable, raw and honest. “Lyrics wise, I could say, we got very cleaned up and very neat. During the times of Every DAY6 project, we were out of time all the time throughout the year,” he says with a laugh. “So, it gave me the lesson of like, always being prepared to write lyrics so that I could pick out a way to find motivation or inspiration. I don’t wait for that inspiration, I gotta always go look for it. For example during everyday conversation, if there’s something or if there’s a word if there’s a phrase that I like, I write it down on my phone.” He pauses for a moment and then sheepishly admits, “To be really honest, I haven’t been doing that for months now. I need to get back on it.” He also says rather than listening to new music, skimming through lyrics is always his go-to move when it comes to evolving his style of storytelling. “So I guess it’s just continuous experiences that helped me to grow and, like you said, evolve.”

I ask the band which of their songs they would recommend to a new listener to help them understand DAY6’s artistry, and there’s a collective hum as they contemplate. “That’s a really difficult question,” says Wonpil. “Maybe ‘You Were Beautiful?’” The rest of the band agree wholeheartedly, and feel the 2017 rock ballad does a great job of summing up who DAY6 are. It’s certainly a fantastic example of the band’s powerful songwriting and their uncanny ability to to delve into topics that are at times a little too real, a little too familiar. 

DAY6’s complex Book of Us series of albums have dealt mainly with the various levels of human interactions, emotions and relationships, each volume diving deeper into the complexities of what makes us who we are. The ‘Us’ in the titles can refer to DAY6 themselves, the relationship between them and their fandom MyDay as well as various other relationships the members might have in their lives. It’s also a general reference to the relationships we as human beings cultivate in our lives. The first album in the series The Book of Us: Gravity was one of their brightest releases, exploring youth and young love. The Book of Us: Entropy was a little heavier, a little more mature, exploring the beginning and end of relationships and how it changes a person. 

The band’s upcoming release of The Book of Us: The Demon is perhaps their most anticipated release yet. Set to drop tomorrow, May 11th, the eight-track EP already hints at a slightly darker route than its predecessors with its title, promising a deeper look into the core meaning of the series. The teaser for the lead single “Zombie” which dropped on May 8th shows the band wandering dazed through crowds while the track itself seems to build on angsty alt rock. DAY6 also dropped an album sampler that hints The Demon cruises through pop rock (“Day and Night”), blues (“Tick Tock”), post-punk revival (“Stop”), acoustic pop (“Afraid”) and more.

In true DAY6 style however, the tracks can change direction in-between, crossing genres from one verse to another. It’s all a surprise right up until we hear the record, which is one of the best things about listening to a new release from this band. While I’m not told any specifics, I’m assured that DAY6 plan to go bigger than ever before when it comes to future releases.  “We want to go to space!” exclaims Dowoon and the band agree enthusiastically. How does space translate sonically? “We want to go for a larger scale of music,” he explains. It’s about dreaming bigger and looking at ways to elevate DAY6’s musicianship. Jae adds, “Yeah, maybe going from just one acoustic guitar to like a full brass band or something.” We discuss possibilities of DAY6 working with an orchestra someday and it’s a pretty fantastic vision. 

Speaking of future plans, I decide to put them on the spot and ask about when we’re getting an India tour. “Whenever you guys call us, we are definitely there!” Jae assures me immediately. Young K and Wonpil explain they are familiar with Bollywood and eager to learn more about it. “I am aware it’s huge there. And recently Katy Perry did something with Bollywood?” asks Young K. We realize he’s referring to the pop diva’s massive November concert in Mumbai with Dua Lipa and he shares that it’s one of the reasons DAY6 are more eager to check out India’s concert scene. “Yeah, I actually heard it from my friend. They were telling me, ‘Yo, you should go to India’ and like wherever it is, we always want to go. If there are people who are willing to listen to us and enjoy with us at the concert, we want to go.” Jae adds, “You guys have a lot of people and for us it’s a new culture and we are always interested in going to different places and seeing new things, trying different foods… naturally the food! So yes, we’ve always wanted to go to India, so call us!” 

We spend the rest of our allotted time together talking planning a show in India for 2020 and although COVID-19 has postponed these plans for now, it’s something the band believe needs to happen. “We definitely wanna see you guys,” says Young K. “It’s always great to go to new places. Until the time that we meet, we want you guys to stay healthy and happy.”

By Riddhi Chakraborty

©️Rolling Stone India

[watusichris]

Betty Davis: They Say She’s Different

It appears that everything anyone has written for the old Music Aficionado site has now disappeared from the web. A random Facebook post has prompted me to re-purpose this story, written in 2016, about my favorite funketress. **********

To this day, the name Betty Davis – Betty with a “y,” that is – remains best known to connoisseurs of Miles Davis minutiae and ‘70s funk obsessives. While it’s true that Betty played an important off-stage role in the career of the jazz trumpeter, to whom she was married for just a year, and she undoubtedly made some of the best hardcore funk records of her era, she deserves to be recognized beyond the relatively narrow provinces of the jazzbo and the crate-digger.

Uncompromising, intelligent, brazen, aggressive, and not incidentally gorgeous, sexually provocative, and a fashion plate always ahead of the curve, Betty was a prophetic figure. Spawned by the explosion of music, fashion, and alternative culture of the late ‘60s, and by concurrent leaps in black consciousness and feminism, she was a take-no-prisoners singer and writer who presented herself as something new, rich, and strange with her self-titled debut album in 1973.

There were some badass contemporaries working the soul and funk trenches– gutter-tongued diva Millie Jackson and one-time James Brown paramour Yvonne Fair leap to mind immediately – but they seemed to be adapting tropes previously worked by male singers in the genres. Betty still sounds like something new: a tough, smart, demanding woman who reveled in pleasure and insisted on satisfaction, unafraid to claim what she wanted.

Despite the fact that she was associated with some high-profile male musician friends and lovers – beyond Davis, the roll call included Hugh Masekela, Jimi Hendrix, Sly Stone, Mike Carabello, Eric Clapton, and Robert Palmer – she was no groupie or bed-hopping climber. Possessed of her own self-defining vision, she was producing her own records and leading a tight, flexible little band by the end of her brief run.

In 1976, after completing four splendid albums (only three of which were released at the time), she disappeared, not only from the music business but from the public eye entirely. What happened? It’s an old story that many women in the industry will recognize: Her record company didn’t know what to do with her, and wanted her to tone down her act. Betty Davis wasn’t having any of that, thank you, and she hit the damn road.

She was born Betty Mabry in Durham, NC, in 1945. She grew up country, and was exposed to down-home, get-down music early. On the title track of her second album, They Say I’m Different, she runs down the artists who served as inspirations: Big Mama Thornton, John Lee Hooker, Lightnin’ Hopkins, Howlin’ Wolf, Albert King, Chuck Berry. The blues, in one form or another, is the backbone of her style.

Her family relocated to Pittsburgh when she was young, but at 16 she left home for the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York. There she was hurtled into the roiling cultural vortex of the Village. She took up modeling, working for the toney Wilhelmina agency, and began running with a posse of similarly disposed, equally beautiful women who called themselves the “Electric Ladies.” Sound familiar? One of her closest cohorts was Devon Wilson, for many years a notorious consort of Jimi Hendrix known for her freewheeling, outré sex- and drug-saturated lifestyle.

Mabry began to try her hand at singing, and cut a few self-penned singles. They were in an old-school mold in terms of structure, but her very first 45 hints at things to come. “Get Ready For Betty,” a 1964 track released by Don Costa (discoverer of Paul Anka and Trini Lopez and a key arranger for Frank Sinatra), is stodgy early-‘60s NYC R&B to its core, but its message is pointed: “Get out my way, girl, ‘cause I’m comin’ to take your man.”

She also made a stolid romantic duet ballad with singer Roy Arlington and, produced by cult soul man Lou Courtney, a homage to the Cellar, the New York club where she DJed. But she didn’t start reaching the upper echelon of the music biz until one of her songs, a hymn to Harlem called “Uptown,” was cut by the Chambers Brothers for their smash 1968 album The Time Has Come, which also included the psychedelic soul workout “Time Has Come Today.”

The Chambers association probably secured a singles deal for her at Columbia Records, and her first session for the major label was produced by her former live-in boyfriend, South African trumpeter Masekela, in October 1968. By that time, she had split with him: A month earlier, she had married a far more famous horn player, Miles Davis, whom she had met in 1967. Davis and his regular producer Teo Macero would head her second session for Columbia in May 1969.

Those two dates were released for the first time as The Columbia Years 1968-1969 earlier this month by Light in the Attic, the independent label that has restored Betty’s entire catalog to print over the last decade. While devoted fans can be grateful that the work is finally seeing the light of day, it does not make for easy listening, for it was clearly made by people groping in the dark.

Betty’s artistic persona was at that point completely unformed, and so her male Svengalis did their best to mold the clay in their hands, with feeble results. Masekela evidently completed just three tracks, two of which, “It’s My Life” and “Live, Love, Learn,” were issued as a flop single. The homiletic song titles give the game away; the music, straight-up commercial soul backed by a large group (which included Wilton Felder and Wayne Henderson of the Jazz Crusaders and Masekela), has nothing original to say.

The date with Miles is a bigger waste, if a more spectacular one. The personnel couldn’t have been more glittering: Hendrix sidemen Billy Cox and Mitch Mitchell; ex-Detroit Wheels guitarist Jim McCarty; bassist Harvey Brooks, studio familiar of Bob Dylan and former member of the Electric Flag; and Davis’ then-current or future band mates Herbie Hancock, Wayne Shorter, John McLaughlin, and Larry Young.

But nothing jells. The material is either weak (Betty’s directionless original “Hangin’ Out” is the best of a bad lot) or incongruous (lumbering covers of Cream’s “Politician” and Creedence’s “Born On the Bayou”). Worse, the jazzers are unable to lay down anything resembling a solid soul-rock foundation, and even reliable timekeeper Mitchell blows the groove on more than one occasion. Miles gets impatient with his spouse at one point, rasping over the talk-back, “Sing it just like that, with the gum in your mouth and all, bitch.”

Apparently intended as demos, the failed tracks were consigned to the tape library. By late ’69, Miles and Betty’s marriage was history. She left her mark on his music: She appeared on the cover of his cover of his 1968 album Filles de Kilimanjaro and inspired its extended track “Mademoiselle Mabry” (based on the chords that opens Hendrix’s “The Wind Cries Mary”) and “Back Seat Betty” from his 1981 comeback album The Man With the Horn.

Moreover, she moved him toward the flash style that would dominate his music through the mid-‘70s, by exposing him to the slamming music of Hendrix and Sly and exchanging his continental suits for psychedelic pimp togs. Would we know Bitches Brew, On the Corner, and Agharta without Betty Davis? Maybe, maybe not.

For her part, Betty remained in the wings for a while. She collaborated on demos for the Commodores; in London, she modeled, worked on songs for Marc Bolan of T. Rex, and declined a production offer from her then-paramour Clapton. Drifting back to New York, she met Santana percussionist Carabello. They became involved romantically, and in 1972 she relocated to the San Francisco Bay area, where Carabello’s local connections led to the formation of a stellar band to back her on a debut album.

One reads the credits for Betty Davis in awe. The rhythm section was the Family Stone’s dissident, puissant rhythm section, bassist Larry Graham and drummer Greg Errico (who also produced). Original Santana guitarist Neal Schon, future Mandrill axe man Doug Rodrigues, founding Graham Central Station organist Hershall Kennedy, and keyboardist and ace Jerry Garcia collaborator Merl Saunders filled out the instrumentation. The Pointer Sisters, Sylvester, and Kathi McDonald were among a large platoon of backup vocalists.

Issued in 1973 by Just Sunshine Records, an independent label owned by Woodstock Festival promoter Michael Lang (who also released a set by another unique woman, folk singer-guitarist Karen Dalton), Betty Davis was one hell of a coming-out party. Since her abortive Columbia dates, she had developed a unique vocal attack that could leap from a velvety croon to a Tina Turner-like shriek in a nanosecond. The stomping funk of the studio band backed her up to the hilt.

Like Turner, she was one Bold Soul Sister. The lust-filled opening invitation “If I’m in Luck I Might Get Picked Up” announces that a new game was afoot. The statement of romantic/sexual independence “Anti Love Song,” the lovers’ chess match “Your Man My Man,” and the self-explanatory “Game is My Middle Name” offer up a startling, hard-edged new model of a hard-funking female vocalist.

The album’s most affecting track may be “Steppin in Her I. Miller Shoes,” Davis’ level-headed elegy for her sybaritic friend Devon Wilson, who sailed out a window at the Chelsea Hotel in 1971. “She coulda been anything that she wanted…Instead she chose to be nothing,” Davis sings, implying that route wouldn’t be one she would take herself.

“If I’m in Luck” grazed the lower reaches of the R&B singles chart and the album failed to reach the LP rolls at all, but Davis was undaunted. For 1974’s They Say I’m Different, she took the producer’s reins, which she would hold for the rest of her career. While the backup lineup is less glitzy (though Saunders, Pete Escovedo, and Buddy Miles, on guitar no less, appear), the support is still sizzling; crackling drums and burbling clavinet put over a set of songs that may have been even stronger than those heard on her debut.

No one who hears “He Was a Big Freak” is likely to ever forget it; it’s a startling dissection of a masochistic relationship -- inspired by Jimi Hendrix, and not, as many have assumed, by Miles Davis (“Everyone knows that Miles is a sadist,” Betty remarked later). Almost as notable are “Don’t Call Her No Tramp,” a prescient condemnation of what we now call slut-shaming, and the autobiographical title track, with slicing slide guitar work by Cordell Dudley.

Different and its attendant singles tanked, but Betty managed to maintain her profile with live gigs noteworthy for their uninhibited bawdiness, on-stage abandon, and the star’s Egyptian-princess-from-outer-space wardrobe sense. By early 1974 she had assembled a hot, lean road band that included her cousins Nickey Neal and Larry Johnson on drums and bass, respectively, plus keyboardist Fred Mills and guitarist Carlos Morales. This lineup would back her on her last two albums.

The end of Just Sunshine’s distribution deal liberated Davis, who, at the suggestion of then-boyfriend Robert Palmer, inked with Palmer’s label Island Records. The company released Nasty Gal in 1975, and it may be Davis’ best-executed work. The pared-down backing lets the songs shine, and there are good ones here: The shameless title song, the vituperative blast at the critics “Dedicated to the Press,” and the out-front ultimatum for sexual satisfaction “Feelins” get right up in the listener’s face. The most surprising track is the ballad “You and I,” an unexpected songwriting reunion with Miles, orchestrated by the trumpeter’s famed arranger Gil Evans.

It’s a tremendous album, and Betty supported it with live shows that ate the funk competition alive. A bootleg of an especially out-there set recorded at a festival on the French Riviera in 1976 literally climaxes with Nasty Gal’s “The Lone Ranger,” an in-the-saddle heavy breather that Davis wraps up by feigning a loud orgasm.

One should remember that at this particular juncture, Madonna was studying dance at the University of Michigan.

But Nasty Gal faded with hardly a trace, and Davis’ relationship with Island swiftly became fractious. It’s easy to see why the label declined to issue her final album, originally called Crashin’ From Passion and ultimately released, after years as a bootleg, by Light in the Attic in 2009 as Is It Love or Desire. The collection, which leans heavily on songs about sex, doping, and heavy drinking, includes “Stars Starve, You Know,” an outright condemnation of the games record companies play:

They said if I wanted to make some money

I’d have to change my style

Put a paper bag over my face

Sing soft and wear tight fitting gowns

 They don’t like the way I’m lookin’

So it’s hard for my agent to get me bookin’s

Unless I cover up my legs and drop my pen

And commit one of those commercial sins…

 Oh hey hey Island

And that was all she wrote. Until writers began to seek her out in the new millennium as her records became available again, Betty Davis was an invisible woman, one who had blazed a trail that other talents, such as Prince and Madonna, would blaze more profitably after her. She was definitively ahead of her time.

Asked by one writer what she had done since leaving music, Davis, who turns 71 on July 26, responded with the most tragic thing one can imagine any artist saying: “Nothing really.”

[tswiftdaily]

In the 2010s, she went from country superstar to pop titan and broke records with chart-topping albums and blockbuster tours. Now Swift is using her industry clout to fight for artists’ rights and foster the musical community she wished she had coming up.

One evening in late-October, before she performed at a benefit concert at the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles, Taylor Swift’s dressing room became -- as it often does -- an impromptu summit of music’s biggest names. Swift was there to take part in the American Cancer Society’s annual We Can Survive concert alongside Billie Eilish, Lizzo, Camila Cabello and others, and a few of the artists on the lineup came by to visit.

Eilish, along with her mother and her brother/collaborator, Finneas O’Connell, popped in to say hello -- the first time she and Swift had met. Later, Swift joined the exclusive club of people who have seen Marshmello without his signature helmet when the EDM star and his manager stopped by.

“Two dudes walked in -- I didn’t know which one was him,” recalls Swift a few weeks later, sitting on a lounge chair in the backyard of a private Beverly Hills residence following a photo shoot. Her momentary confusion turned into a pang of envy. “It’s really smart! Because he’s got a life, and he can get a house that doesn’t have to have a paparazzi-proof entrance.” She stops to adjust her gray sweatshirt dress and lets out a clipped laugh.

Swift, who will celebrate her 30th birthday on Dec. 13, has been impossibly famous for nearly half of her lifetime. She was 16 when she released her self-titled debut album in 2006, and 20 when her second album, Fearless, won the Grammy Award for album of the year in 2010, making her the youngest artist to ever receive the honor. As the decade comes to a close, Swift is one of the most accomplished musical acts of all time: 37.3 million albums sold, according to Nielsen Music; 95 entries on the Billboard Hot 100 (including five No. 1s); 23 Billboard Music Awards; 12 Country Music Association Awards; 10 Grammys; and five world tours.

She also finishes the decade in a totally different realm of the music world from where she started. Swift’s crossover from country to pop -- hinted at on 2012’s Red and fully embraced on 2014’s 1989 -- reflected a mainstream era in which genres were blended with little abandon, where artists with roots in country, folk and trap music could join forces without anyone raising eyebrows. (See: Swift’s top 20 hit “End Game,” from 2017’s reputation, which featured Ed Sheeran and Future.)

Swift’s new album, Lover, released in August, is both a warm break from the darkness of reputation -- which was created during a wave of negative press generated by Swift’s public clash with Kanye West and Kim Kardashian-West -- as well as an amalgam of all her stylistic explorations through the years, from dreamy synth-pop to hushed country. “The skies were opening up in my life,” says Swift of the album, which garnered three Grammy nominations, including song of the year for the title track.

She recorded Lover after the Reputation Stadium Tour broke the record for the highest-grossing U.S. tour late last year. In 2020, Swift will embark on Lover Fest, a run of stadium dates that will feature a hand-picked lineup of artists (as yet unannounced) and allow Swift more time off from the road. “This is a year where I have to be there for my family -- there’s a lot of question marks throughout the next year, so I wanted to make sure that I could go home,” says Swift, likely referencing her mother’s cancer diagnosis, which inspired the Lover heart-wrencher “Soon You’ll Get Better.”

Now, however, Swift finds herself in a different highly publicized dispute. This time it’s with Scott Borchetta, the head of her former label, Big Machine Records, and Scooter Braun, the manager-mogul whose Ithaca Holdings acquired Big Machine Label Group and its master recordings, which include Swift’s six pre-Lover albums, in June. Upon news of the sale, Swift wrote in a Tumblr post that it was her “worst case scenario,” accusing Braun of “bullying” her throughout her career due to his connections with West. She maintains today that she was never given the opportunity to buy her masters outright. (On Tumblr, she wrote that she was offered the chance to “earn” back the masters to one of her albums for each new album she turned in if she re-signed with Big Machine; Borchetta disputed this characterization, saying she had the opportunity to acquire her masters in exchange for re-signing with the label for a “length of time” -- 10 more years, according to screenshots of legal documents posted on the Big Machine website.)

Swift has said that she intends to rerecord her first six albums next year -- starting next November, when she says she’s contractually able to -- in order to regain control of her recordings. But the back-and-forth appears to be nowhere near over: Last month, Swift alleged that Borchetta and Braun were blocking her from performing her past hits at the American Music Awards or using them in an upcoming Netflix documentary -- claims Big Machine characterized as “false information” in a response that did not get into specifics. (Swift ultimately performed the medley she had planned.) In the weeks following this interview, Braun said he was open to “all possibilities” in finding a “resolution,” and Billboard sources say that includes negotiating a sale. Swift remains interested in buying her masters, though the price could be a sticking point, given her rerecording plans, the control she has over the licensing of her music for film and TV, and the market growth since Braun’s acquisition.

However it plays out, the battle over her masters is the latest in a series of moves that has turned Swift into something of an advocate for artists’ rights -- and made her a cause that everyone from Halsey to Elizabeth Warren has rallied behind. From 2014 to 2017, Swift withheld her catalog from Spotify to protest the streaming company’s compensation rates, saying in a 2014 interview, “There should be an inherent value placed on art. I didn’t see that happening, perception-wise, when I put my music on Spotify.” In 2015, ahead of the launch of Apple Music, Swift wrote an open letter criticizing Apple for its plan to not pay royalties during the three-month free trial it was set to offer listeners; the company announced a new policy within 24 hours. Most recently, when she signed a new global deal with Universal Music Group in 2018, Swift (who is now on Republic Records) said one of the conditions of her contract was that UMG share proceeds from any sale of its Spotify equity with its roster of artists -- and make them nonrecoupable against those artists’ earnings.

During a wide-ranging conversation, Billboard’s Woman of the Decade expresses hope that she can help make the lives of creators a little easier in the years to come -- and a belief that her behind-the-scenes strides will be as integral to her legacy as her biggest singles. “New artists and producers and writers need work, and they need to be likable and get booked in sessions, and they can’t make noise -- but if I can, then I’m going to,” promises Swift. This is where being impossibly famous can be a very good thing. “I know that it seems like I’m very loud about this,” she says, “but it’s because someone has to be.”

While watching some of your performances this year -- like Saturday Night Live and NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert -- I was struck by how focused you seemed, like there were no distractions getting in the way of what you were trying to say.

That’s a really wonderful way of looking at this phase of my life and my music. I’ve spent a lot of time recalibrating my life to make it feel manageable. Because there were some years there where I felt like I didn’t quite know what exactly to give people and what to hold back, what to share and what to protect. I think a lot of people go through that, especially in the last decade. I broke through pre-social media, and then there was this phase where social media felt fun and casual and quirky and safe. And then it got to the point where everyone has to evaluate their relationship with social media. So I decided that the best thing I have to offer people is my music. I’m not really here to influence their fashion or their social lives. That has bled through into the live part of what I do.

Meanwhile, you’ve found a way to interact with your fans in this very pure way -- on your Tumblr page.

Tumblr is the last place on the internet where I feel like I can still make a joke because it feels small, like a neighborhood rather than an entire continent. We can kid around -- they literally drag me. It’s fun. That’s a real comfort zone for me. And just like anything else, I need breaks from it sometimes. But when I do participate in that space, it’s always in a very inside-joke, friend vibe. Sometimes, when I open Twitter, I get so overwhelmed that I just immediately close it. I haven’t had Twitter on my phone in a while because I don’t like to have too much news. Like, I follow politics, and that’s it. But I don’t like to follow who has broken up with who, or who wore an interesting pair of shoes. There’s only so much bandwidth my brain can really have.

You’ve spoken in recent interviews about the general expectations you’ve faced, using phrases like “They’ve wanted to see this” and “They hated me for this.” Who is “they”? Is it social media or disparaging think pieces or --

It’s sort of an amalgamation of all of it. People who aren’t active fans of your music, who like one song but love to hear who has been canceled on Twitter. I’ve had several upheavals of somehow not being what I should be. And this happens to women in music way more than men. That’s why I get so many phone calls from new artists out of the blue -- like, “Hey, I’m getting my first wave of bad press, I’m freaking out, can I talk to you?” And the answer is always yes! I’m talking about more than 20 people who have randomly reached out to me. I take it as a compliment because it means that they see what has happened over the course of my career, over and over again.

Did you have someone like that to reach out to?

Not really, because my career has existed in lots of different neighborhoods of music. I had so many mentors in country music. Faith Hill was wonderful. She would reach out to me and invite me over and take me on tour, and I knew that I could talk to her. Crossing over to pop is a completely different world. Country music is a real community, and in pop I didn’t see that community as much. Now there is a bit of one between the girls in pop -- we all have each other’s numbers and text each other -- but when I first started out in pop it was very much you versus you versus you. We didn’t have a network, which is weird because we can help each other through these moments when you just feel completely isolated.

Do you feel like those barriers are actively being broken down now?

God, I hope so. I also hope people can call it out, [like] if you see a Grammy prediction article, and it’s just two women’s faces next to each other and feels a bit gratuitous. No one’s going to start out being perfectly educated on the intricacies of gender politics. The key is that people are trying to learn, and that’s great. No one’s going to get it perfect, but, God, please try.

At this point, who is your sounding board, creatively and professionally?

From a creative standpoint, I’ve been writing alone a lot more. I’m good with being alone, with thinking alone. When I come up with a marketing idea for the Lover tour, the album launch, the merch, I’ll go right to my management company that I’ve put together. I think a team is the best way to be managed. Just from my experience, I don’t think that this overarching, one-person-handles-my-career thing was ever going to work for me. Because that person ends up kind of being me who comes up with most of the ideas, and then I have an amazing team that facilitates those ideas.

The behind-the-scenes work is different for every phase of my career that I’m in. Putting together the festival shows that we’re doing for Lover is completely different than putting together the Reputation Stadium Tour. Putting together the reputation launch was so different than putting together the 1989 launch. So we really do attack things case by case, where the creative first informs everything else.

You’ve spoken before about how meaningful the reputation tour’s success was. What did it represent?

That tour was something that I wanted to immortalize in the Netflix special that we did because the album was a story, but it almost was like a story that wasn’t fully realized until you saw it live. It was so cool to hear people leaving the show being like, “I understand it now. I fully get it now.” There are a lot of red herrings and bait-and-switches in the choices that I’ll make with albums, because I want people to go and explore the body of work. You can never express how you feel over the course of an album in a single, so why try?

That seems especially true of your last three albums or so.

“Shake It Off” is nothing like the rest of 1989. It’s almost like I feel so much pressure with a first single that I don’t want the first single to be something that makes you feel like you’ve figured out what I’ve made on the rest of the project. I still truly believe in albums, whatever form you consume them in -- if you want to stream them or buy them or listen to them on vinyl. And I don’t think that makes me a staunch purist. I think that that is a strong feeling throughout the music industry. We’re running really fast toward a singles industry, but you got to believe in something. I still believe that albums are important.

The music industry has become increasingly global during the past decade. Is reaching new markets something you think about?

Yeah, and I’m always trying to learn. I’m learning from everyone. I’m learning when I go see Bruce Springsteen or Madonna do a theater show. And I’m learning from new artists who are coming out right now, just seeing what they’re doing and thinking, “That’s really cool.” You need to keep your influences broad and wide-ranging, and my favorite people who make music have always done that. I got to work with Andrew Lloyd Webber on the Cats movie, and Andrew will walk through the door and be like, “I’ve just seen this amazing thing on TikTok!” And I’m like, “You are it! You are it!” Because you cannot look at what quote-unquote “the kids are doing” and roll your eyes. You have to learn.

Have you explored TikTok at all?

I only see them when they’re posted to Tumblr, but I love them! I think that they’re hilarious and amazing. Andrew says that they’ve made musicals cool again, because there’s a huge musical facet to TikTok. [He’s] like, “Any way we can do that is good.”

How do you see your involvement in the business side of your career progressing in the next decade? You seem like someone who could eventually start a label or be more hands-on with signing artists.

I do think about it every once in a while, but if I was going to do it, I would need to do it with all of my energy. I know how important that is, when you’ve got someone else’s career in your hands, and I know how it feels when someone isn’t generous.

You’ve served as an ambassador of sorts for artists, especially recently -- staring down streaming services over payouts, increasing public awareness about the terms of record deals.

We have a long way to go. I think that we’re working off of an antiquated contractual system. We’re galloping toward a new industry but not thinking about recalibrating financial structures and compensation rates, taking care of producers and writers.

We need to think about how we handle master recordings, because this isn’t it. When I stood up and talked about this, I saw a lot of fans saying, “Wait, the creators of this work do not own their work, ever?” I spent 10 years of my life trying rigorously to purchase my masters outright and was then denied that opportunity, and I just don’t want that to happen to another artist if I can help it. I want to at least raise my hand and say, “This is something that an artist should be able to earn back over the course of their deal -- not as a renegotiation ploy -- and something that artists should maybe have the first right of refusal to buy.” God, I would have paid so much for them! Anything to own my work that was an actual sale option, but it wasn’t given to me.

Thankfully, there’s power in writing your music. Every week, we get a dozen synch requests to use “Shake It Off” in some advertisement or “Blank Space” in some movie trailer, and we say no to every single one of them. And the reason I’m rerecording my music next year is because I do want my music to live on. I do want it to be in movies, I do want it to be in commercials. But I only want that if I own it.

Do you know how long that rerecording process will take?

I don’t know! But it’s going to be fun, because it’ll feel like regaining a freedom and taking back what’s mine. When I created [these songs], I didn’t know what they would grow up to be. Going back in and knowing that it meant something to people is actually a really beautiful way to celebrate what the fans have done for my music.

Ten years ago, on the brink of the 2010s, you were about to turn 20. What advice would you give yourself if you could go back in time?

Oh, God -- I wouldn’t give myself any advice. I would have done everything exactly the same way. Because even the really tough things I’ve gone through taught me things that I never would have learned any other way. I really appreciate my experience, the ups and downs. And maybe that seems ridiculously Zen, but … I’ve got my friends, who like me for the right reasons. I’ve got my family. I’ve got my boyfriend. I’ve got my fans. I’ve got my cats.

[tempesrature]

IDOL | Chapter 5 [Unfinished]

Platinum x Ride or Die (AU) Crossover

Pairings: (Major) Ride or Die | Logan x Ellie (Minor) Platinum | M!Raleigh x Cadence Warnings: PG13+ Word Count: 11k+ A/N: I can’t even begin to apologize that I’m leaving this story unfinished. I tried to finish it, I really did but school is just so heavy right now that I barely have time to do anything else. And as I’ve said, the passion isn’t there anymore. I’ll post up to whatever I’ve written and if given the time, I’ll definitely come back to finish it. If you decide to drop this story, I completely understand. I’m sorry that I let you down :(  @troublemakerinspace @raleiighcarrera @harrys-wheezys @raleeeighcarreras

“Wow, when you said you’d pick me up I thought you meant your manager was going to drive us.”

“The option was definitely there,” Logan grins as he pushes himself off of the yellow and black-striped 2005 Devore GT to stand in front of her. “But I thought it would be nice if I drive.”

Ellie chuckles as she makes her way to the passenger’s door and takes her seat just as Logan slides into the driver’s seat.

“Are you a good driver?” Ellie asks teasingly as she buckles her seatbelt. “If I get into a car accident and Mona finds out, she’ll call the ambulance and tell it to turn around.”

“I’m a great driver,” Logan chuckles as he revs the engine and he pulls out into the road. “Do you trust me?”

Ellie blinks at him for a moment before a smile tugs on her lips. “Weirdly enough, yes.”

The smile on Logan’s face strums the little tiny strings of her heart. It’s absurd how good he looks behind the wheel. If he was handsome during the any normal setting, it’s magnified by tenfold at how easy and comfortable he is as he drives. She tries not to stare at him, telling herself that she has set ground rules for how she’ll interact with Logan, but she seems to be breaking them every minute she’s in his presence.

“As an honored guest of the Devore, you have the privilege of picking the song.”

Ellie chuckles as she pulls out her phone and scrolls through her playlist. “Do you treat every passenger like this?”

“Only the pretty ones,” He glances at her with a devilish smile and a small wink.

She ducks her head to hide away the blush before her eyes light up at the instrumental track of Candy. She had asked Micah to send it to her so she could practice a little on her own before promotions truly start and they’ll have to start appearing on TV to sing it. She clicks on the song and the intro of the synth fills the car and a smile pulls on Logan’s lips.

“Logan, let’s do it live.”

“Huh?”

Logan barely has time to register her words when she starts to sing the intro of the song as she dances and does small body rolls in time with the beat. Logan lets out a laugh and he glances at her in amusement as he listens to her and waits for his cue.

Their voices fill the inside of the car—teasing, playful, flirty—and Ellie feels light and free. She’s never had this before, someone she can sing along with without the pressure of hitting the right note or conveying the right emotions. Even when she’s singing with Raleigh or Cadence, there’s always a certain standard she has to hold herself around them. After all, her voice croaking in front of those two would send her into a spiral of embarrassment.

But she doesn’t have the same worry with Logan.

Cadence had told her of this feeling—the feeling of being able to sing with someone that you’re so in tune with that it feels natural when there’s only you, the other person and the music. Cadence said that she has that with Raleigh.

And now…Ellie can admit a little that she just might have it with Logan.

The fourth verse comes in and he glances at her briefly, their gaze locking, and she grins as they sing out the next lines together in a perfect blend of light and husky.

I say, I want to be clear and simple I want to adjust just for you, oh yeah I'll give you something original I know how complicated you are

Logan attempts the sustained high note in the bridge and Ellie rolls her eyes because of course he still has excellent breathing control and can let out a perfect G#4 note even while seating down. At this point, Ellie feels like there’s nothing this guy can’t do.

The song finally finishes the last of its note and the playlist jumps to the next song on her list, a slow and soothing song from Cadence’s new album. A comfortable silence settles between them and Ellie is once again amazed that even in the silence, it doesn’t feel awkward or stifled.

“I’m probably the luckiest fan in the world,” Logan says as he turns into an intersection. “I get to hear you sing live with only me as the audience.”

Ellie smiles. “Don’t sell yourself short. I’m pretty lucky to hear you sing live as well. You have a great voice.”

“Thanks,” He chuckles a little as he stops at a red light. “I’m really glad that I got to do this collab with you Ellie.”

“Me too,” She leans back and lays her head on the window. “Which reminds me. I never got to ask. Why the sudden genre shift? The song’s great but it’s not your usual release.”

Logan nods with a small smile, a look of apprehension crossing his face in a blink of a second.

“I really don’t like my songs. I just got roped into singing it because it sells,” He takes one hand off of wheel and gestures to himself. “Along with the whole heartbroken bad boy image.”

Ellie nods and looks at him sadly. It’s not that uncommon for companies to completely have control over an artists sound and image. It’s usually for younger and newer artists where they have no power to truly choose what they want to do with their music. She was lucky than when she started out, she had Raleigh and Cadence backing her so whatever musical direction she was going to venture into was going to be supported by two music industry giants. But for artists like Logan? They’re perpetually bound to whatever their producers want for them until they can somehow break out of the image without alienating their current fans. Fortunately for Logan, their collab single ‘Candy’ is a big hit. Maybe this will even open up the path for him to finally sing songs he actually likes.

“Are you saying that you’ve never had your heart broken then?” She teases. “Is that why you can’t fully commit to the heartbroken bad boy image?”

“Maybe I’m the one that breaks hearts,” Logan says, his voice almost pained, before the light turns green and he drives. “Or maybe I just don’t like the bad boy title.”

Ellie chuckles a little. “Yeah it’s pretty outdated. Plus, if you can’t hold yourself to the same standard as Raleigh Carrera then why even try?”

“What? Property damage and grand theft auto?” He smirks. “I could totally do that.”

“Hey! The courts cleared that up, the car was legit,” She laughs and leans back on the seat. “It created a shitstorm in the company though and any car he wants to buy has to go through the suits now. Cadence was not happy.”

“I’ll bet,” Logan snickers as he pulls up to the restaurant he had recommended to Ellie the night before. “Cadence seems like she doesn’t take any of Raleigh’s shit.”

“You have no idea,” Ellie chuckles as she unbuckles her seatbelt and gets out of the car. “But I guess that’s what makes them work.”

“Yeah?” Logan grins as he opens the glass door for her.

“Yeah,” She looks around the restaurant and sees that it’s practically empty except for them. “Uh…you sure this place is open?”

“Yeah it’s owned by—Vaughn!” Logan turns to walk to Vaughn coming out of the kitchen and gives him a hug.

“Logan!” Vaughn exclaims as he returns Logan’s hug and looks over to where Ellie is standing. “Woah, you brought your girlfriend? I thought you were bringing Ellie over.”

Ellie tries to rein in the blush on her cheeks but fails miserably as Logan stands next to her.

“This is Ellie,” He turns to look at her with an apologetic smile. “Sorry about him, he’s clueless when it comes to anything other than cooking.”

Ellie smiles as she steps forward and offers her hand. “Nice to meet you Vaughn. Are you Logan’s friend?”

“Cousin more like it,” Logan corrects with a fond smile.

“We ain’t actually related. But we’re family. Known each other for a long time,” Vaughn replies as he motions to the empty restaurant. “Pick a seat! I’ll have the specials right out.”

Logan turns to look at Ellie expectantly as he points to the table hidden away from the glass windows. They take their seats across each other and Ellie is only now realizing how much all of this feels like a date. She banishes those thoughts as quickly as they came, this is just a casual hanging out with a potential friend and co-worker. That’s all there is.

“So, do you always clear out restaurants when you bring girls out for lunch?”

Ellie cringes at herself and groans internally. She was thinking it of course but she didn’t expect herself to outright say it.

“Not often,” Logan replies with a smile. “This place is pretty popular. I had to ask some serious favors from Vaughn so we could have it for ourselves today.”

Ellie smiles a little. “You didn’t have to, you know. I would’ve been fine either way.”

“I was thinking that a thousand pair of eyes constantly glancing at you while you eat would be uncomfortable.”

Ellie chuckles as she tucks her hair behind her ear. “You overestimate how much I get recognized in public. People rarely ever notice.”

“Liar,” Logan grins. “I would’ve noticed you from a thousand miles away.”

Ellie grimaces a little as she looks at him teasingly. “Not to be rude but are you always this…flirty?”

Logan laughs as he looks at her face earnestly. “Can’t help myself I guess.”

Ellie rolls her eyes a little. Perhaps that’s why it’s so difficult for her to stick to the rules and guidelines she’s set up for Logan when he seems to be so adept at making her break them.

The ping of Logan’s phone cuts through the silence and he grabs it from the table, astonishment and awe taking hold of his face.

“Woah,” Logan says as he turns his phone to her. “Looks like Candy has 80 million views on PlayMe now.”

“Seriously?!” Ellie exclaims as she takes his phone and stares at the number below the video. “This is insane.”

“Yeah I didn’t think it would be this popular…” Logan says in awe before his face softens.

“I did,” Ellie grins as she hands him his phone back. “And not just because of me by the way. The song is really great Logan. You should write your own stuff more often.”

“After this, maybe I’ll finally be able to,” Logan looks at her gratefully. “Thanks Ellie. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this.”

“No problem. I really meant what I said back then. About how I can help you out and be your friend. If you ever need help just hit me up and—” Ellie’s eyes flick to the ringing of her phone and her eyebrows shoot up in surprise when she sees Mona’s name flashing on the screen. She had already informed Mona that she’ll be taking the day off so this call must be important. “Sorry it’s my manager. I’ll be quick.”

Logan nods. “Take your time.”

Ellie nods as she grabs her phone and moves a little ways away from their table before she takes the call.

“Mona hi, what’s up?”

“Are you with Logan?”

Ellie’s eyebrows furrow in confusion and absolute fear. She hadn’t said anything about why she wanted a day off. Was Mona just this good? Was someone tailing her?

“Uh…yes,” She replies as she looks around the restaurant in apprehension in case she’ll see Mona suddenly pop out of nowhere. “But its just lunch I swear! And we’re both sober and we’ll stay sober. I’m not up to trouble—”

“I don’t care about that, put me on loud speaker. I need to talk to you both and make sure you’re alone.”

“To us…both?” Ellie asks as she confusingly makes her way back to the table. Logan looks at her with a question in his eyes just as she takes her seat again. Ellie shrugs before she pulls the phone away from her ear, puts in on loud speaker and places it in the middle of the table. “You’re on loud speaker Mona.”

“Good. Logan, can you hear me?”

“Uh yeah I can,” Logan looks to Ellie for answers but Ellie merely shakes her head signaling that she doesn’t know either. “What can I do for you?”

“I’ll cut right to the chase. With how popular Candy’s release is, the company has approved the music video. We’ll start production in two weeks.”

“Seriously?!” Ellie exclaims as she shares an excited and happy look with Logan. “That’s great news Mona!”

“Yeah and one more thing. We need you both in a fake relationship to drum up the release of the music video. I already went through this with your manager Logan. He should be calling you about this soon.”

“Woah wait,” Logan looks at Ellie’s phone apprehensively before he glances at Ellie. “Fake relationship? This isn’t. I mean I wasn’t—”

“Mona you know how I feel about fake relationships,” Ellie cuts in, annoyance lacing her voice. “Why can’t we just promote the song the normal way?”

“This isn’t just about the song Ellie, it’s to clean up your image as well. Everyone loves you with Logan, he’ll basically become your Cadence.”

Ellie frowns.

“If Ellie isn’t comfortable with this then I won’t do it,” Logan replies sternly.

“Fine then, you both have until the end of the day to give me your final decision,” Mona pauses for a moment before her voice drops down to something soft and caring. “This is good for you Ellie. I wouldn’t have suggested this unless I knew it was going to work. Have I ever led you wrong?”

Mona doesn’t afford Ellie the time to reply as she drops the call. Ellie lets out a heavy sigh and takes the phone and shoves it into her pocket, hoping that she won’t have any more calls to ruin her day.

“Shit. This is fucked up,” Logan says as anger and annoyance takes hold of his voice.

“Yeah but not uncommon,” She sighs and leans back on her seat as she thinks about it.

When Cadence revealed to her that the first time Raleigh and her started to date was actually just a fake relationship, she had vowed herself to never take that route. Mainly because she wanted to spare herself from the drama of being in a fake relationship with someone she had no feelings for. Pretending to kiss and fawn over a guy she’ll barely talk to outside of a few convincing texts to screenshot and post on Twitter to parade their relationship around like a prized horse.

She wants to be authentically herself because she owes it to the fans that love and support her.

“What do you think Logan?”

“I mean what I said Ellie,” Logan says as he leans forward a little and gazes into her eyes. “If you don’t want this then I don’t want this.”

A small smile tugs on her lips. “So if I was okay with this…you’d do it?”

Logan chuckles a little. “I mean…would any fan pass up the opportunity to fake date their idol?”

Ellie laughs a little as she takes the table napkin in her hands and twists it around nervously. She weighs her options. Mona wasn’t lying about the image clean up. It’s no doubt that once her new album drops in the coming months, it’ll be used to comb through all of her relationships in the past. So much of the songs she plans to record in the album revolves around heartbreak and recovering from that heartbreak that she knows full well that her critics will unfairly attach a guy to every track in that album. If she gets into a fake relationship with Logan and they “break up” amicably, then all of it will just bounce back to Logan alone. Maybe they could even spin the story so that she’s the dumpee which would then earn her sympathy and support for getting dumped by a truly great guy.

Plus, if she’s being honest with herself, it’ll give her a test run on the tiny crush she has on him without all the pesky strings of getting attached in a real relationship.

It’s all just positives at this point so how could she say no?

“Okay, I’ve made up my mind,” She glances up at Logan shyly before she steels her confidence and clears her throat. “So uh Logan, will you be my very first fake boyfriend?”

The way his eyes sparkle and the way the smile stretches on his lips makes Ellie momentarily forget how to breathe.

“I’ll make you so happy Ellie,” He promises, more truthfully than he had initially intended before he reaches forward and offers his hand. “It’ll be an honor to have you as my first fake girlfriend.”

Ellie laughs a little as she takes his hand, his palms warm against hers, and shakes on the deal just as Vaughn comes arrives with his specialties and sets it the down on the table with a big grin before he goes back into the kitchen.

“Okay, so how did it happen?”

Logan looks at her curiously just as he’s about to take a bite from his burger. “How did what happen?”

“I mean how did we start dating? Why did we start dating?”

He blinks at her, confusion clear on his face. “Because you like me and I like you back?”

“Not good enough,” Ellie says as she takes a bite from chicken sandwich. “It has to be authentic and it has to be meaningful.”

Logan chuckles a little nervously, not really expecting her to be this thorough about the whole thing. After all, he was just planning to post a Pictagram post about it and leave it at that.

“Love at first sight then?”

Ellie coughs and thumps her chest as she looks at him in disbelief. “Seriously? That’s so cliché!”

“It’s plausible,” He smiles and looks at her pointedly as Ellie rolls her eyes.

“How about this. We hung out a lot after the recording, we talked and realized that we had a lot in common and we ended up liking each other.”

“Why is this so important?” Logan frowns as he throws a French fry into his mouth. “Why is it anyone’s business how we got together? Isn’t it enough that we’re dating?”

Ellie scoffs as she takes a sip of her glass of water. “You’ve clearly never been in a fake relationship before.”

“Neither have you,” Logan replies as he playfully bumps her knee under the table.

“Yeah but I got references,” She grins as she raises her phone and waves it a little. “People always love the backstory and we’ll probably get asked about it a lot so it’s better to get our stories straight to really sell it.”

“Right…speaking of selling it, is kissing allowed?” Logan asks cheekily. “What are my boundaries? What are the things I can and can’t do?”

Ellie chuckles a little. “Kissing should be allowed in public. I mean, how else would we make it convincing? Hugging and touching is fine too—as long as it’s in public.”

“Got it,” Logan smiles.

“How about you? What are my boundaries?”

Logan tilts his head to the side with a playful smile. “No food in the Devore?”

Ellie laughs. “Is that all? You’re easy to please.”

“I’m a simple guy I guess,” Logan hands her some tissues when some of the sauce clings to the side of her lips. “We should probably also lay out all of our bad habits while we’re at it. Get it all out in the air so we don’t annoy each other.”

Ellie nods. “You’re right. I’ll go first. I’m cranky during mornings and I hate food that feels mushy no matter how good it tastes.”

“Hmm…” Logan perches his elbow on the table and leans his cheek on his closed hand. “No one drives the Devore but me and I’m really particular about my hair products.”

“You should tell me what you use in your hair. I don’t know how you got it to be so soft,” An embarrassed flush takes hold of her cheeks when she realizes that she just brought up the night she had undoubtedly buried her fingers in his hair.

“I could take you out shopping,” Logan offers with a knowing smile. “Part of the fake boyfriend experience.”

“And I’ll make sure to drag you around multiple stores,” Ellie smiles teasingly. “Part of the fake girlfriend experience.”

Logan pretends to groan as he tilts his head back. “I feel like I’m getting the short end of this deal.”

“Hey!” She bumps her knee against his underneath the table. “You get to fake date the Ellie Wheeler, not many can say they had the privilege.”

“You’re right,” Logan answers honestly, his eyes gazing into hers. “I’m really lucky.”

Ellie smiles softly as a bubble of worry start to form itself in her stomach. “Do you think…we’ll be fine? I mean, nothing bad is gonna happen right?”

“What’s the worse that could happen?” Logan asks with a shrug as he leans back on his chair. “We get along and we make great music together. Everything’s going to be fine.”

Ellie nods a little, her fears disappearing with his words. With how crazy her life has been in the past few months, this could very well be the first break she’ll get since the Colt scandal. In theory, nothing bad should happen if she just keeps her crush as just a crush and cruise through the next few months until their eventual breakup.

Everything is going to be great.

~*~

“I’m calling Mona right now.”

“Babe, come on. This is Ellie’s decision—”

“Shut up Raleigh,” Cadence leaves it at that as she moves to the kitchen of their penthouse and starts a heated discussion with Mona.

Ellie looks towards Cadence direction a little guiltily. After she had lunch with Logan and after ironing out the last of the details for their fake relationship, she decided to drop by Cadence and Raleigh’s penthouse so she could give them the news herself rather than the subtle and suggestive Pictagram posts they’ll both be dropping within the week.

Raleigh sighs and runs his hand through his brown and messy hair before he looks at Ellie sitting on their plush couch. “So how long is this going to go on?”

“About three months or so,” Ellie says as she takes some of the candy they usually leave out on their coffee table. “Until I’m almost finished with my album I think. Mona still hasn’t told me the specifics.”

“Hmm…” Raleigh acknowledges as he observes her quietly. “Want some advice?”

“Uh, I didn’t know you’d have some Raleigh, you did say I should fake date him to promote the song,” Ellie grins as Raleigh glares at her lightly. “But alright, give it to me.”

“Take it from someone who got fucked up from a fake relationship,” He motions his head towards the kitchen. “If you have even the slightest feelings for him, don’t do it or you’re going to end up hurting yourself.”

Ellie frowns. “But you two worked out though…”

“Yeah but the shit we went through?” Raleigh sighs as he shakes his head, his voice a little pained. “I had to watch her get dragged by the media and I couldn’t do or say shit because we “broke up”, then I had to pretend like I was over her and pretend like I didn’t give a shit when I saw her kiss another guy. Even if it was a fake rel. That shit messes with your head, you know?”

Ellie nods sadly. “I won’t develop feelings for Logan. I promise.”

“Good, keep it that way,” Raleigh shrugs before the familiar playful and teasing smile makes its way to his lips. “But if you start to feel like it’s there, it’s a good indication that its time to bounce.”

Ellie grins just as Cadence makes her way back into the living room with a huff and deep furrow on her eyebrows.

“I talked to Mona.”

“Sounds more like it was yelling babe.”

Raleigh merely smiles at the glare Cadence sends his way before she sits next to Ellie and takes Ellie’s hands into hers.

“I understand why you did this. I’m not going to say it’s easy but if this is what you really want then I won’t stop you. Just…be careful okay?”

“Yeah and have fun!” Raleigh says as he reaches out to the bowl of candy and throws it towards Ellie who clumsily catches it. “I’ve met Logan, he’s a nice guy.”

“Aren’t they all?” Cadence sighs as she leans back on the couch. “I’m not saying that it won’t be fun. Sure, it will be but it’s also going to difficult when the real and fake just…blur together and that’s when it starts to get less fun.”

“When did it start to blur for you Cadence?” Ellie asks innocently as Raleigh’s eyes sparkle in absolute delight as he leans forward and looks at his fiancée with curiosity and affection.

“Yeah Cadence when did it start to blur for you?”

Cadence rolls her eyes as a small smile tugs her lips. “The charity function when we sneaked away.”

“Ah,” Raleigh leans back with a fond smile. “That’s a good one.”

Ellie’s eyes bounce between them and she already knows that she’s effectively been shut out. Not that she minds, she’s practically used to the two of them so attached and magnetized to each other that it’s not uncommon for her to feel like the perpetual third-wheel.

“Right, I’m going home guys,” Ellie announces as she stands from the couch and unconsciously pockets the candy Raleigh had thrown to her. “I still have songs to write.”

“Keep up us updated!” Cadence calls out as Ellie makes her way to the penthouse elevator. “About the album and Logan!”

“Always,” Ellie calls out just as the elevator doors close in front of her. She sighs and leans back on the elevator and lets her mind wander. It’s not like she didn’t have her apprehensions, after all she’s well aware of the things she could be risking if she ends up falling for Logan.

But a part of her is undoubtedly curious. What kind of boyfriend would Logan be? Would he be just as cheesy and flirty or would she see a different side to him? Would she be able to pull some inspiration from their fake relationship for her album?

The last question makes her flush a little as she gets into the cab and makes her way back to her penthouse. It wouldn’t be weird for her to write a song about Logan, after all an artist is supposed to get inspiration from the influence and their environment right? It would be weirder if she didn’t have any songs about Logan on her album if they plan to fake date for three months or so.

Ellie doesn’t have time to fully delve into those thoughts when she reaches the building her penthouse and she hurriedly makes her way to her floor. She goes through the motions of putting away her keys and flicking on the lights before she makes her way to her bedroom and flops down on the mattress.

She takes a minute to stare at the nonsense patterns of her ceiling before she reaches into her pocket to pull out her phone when her hands close in on a small round object. She pulls it out and looks at the red candy with confusion before she realizes that it’s from Raleigh and Cadence’s place.

An idea suddenly hits as she quickly scrambles to sit up on the bed and takes out her phone. She tears open the wrapper and presses the candy on her lips. She turns the camera of her phone to her before she snaps twenty or so pictures before settles on one and places a filter to make it look a little bit aesthetically pleasing. A wide smile takes hold of her lips as she pulls up her Pictagram account and posts the picture with the caption:

Boy I’m your candy. Tell me what you’re waiting for.

It’s subtle and suggestive, just like they agreed on, after all it’s just part of the lyrics for their single ‘Candy’ and people could even say that Ellie is simply promoting the song—but with no link to the actual single nor the usual words of “stream Candy” attached anywhere, the comments that rush in quickly figure out what she’s hinting on.

I knew it! I fucking knew it! This is folks, this is the sign we needed that they’re dating. Oh my god I’m so happy but I’m so sad?? But I’m so happy too omg If she breaks his heart, I’m gonna kill her. I heard that there’s gonna be an MV dropping. Will we get a kiss scene???

Ellie laughs a little as she lays back down on the bed and continues to scroll through the comments that come in. She skips through the hate comments, already immune to them at this point, and focuses on the love and support of their “relationship”. She feels a little tinge of guilt that she’s fooling her fans like this but at the end of the day, it’s her life and she’s allowed to live it according to how she wants to.      

A notification pops up in her screen and her heart races when she sees that Logan has posted something. She navigates to his page and when the picture loads, the little squeal of delight she lets out is both embarrassing and well-earned.

The picture is a shirtless selfie of Logan with a piece of candy trapped tantalizingly between his teeth as he looks into the camera with playful smile and sparkling brown eyes. The caption at the bottom reading:

Girl I’m your candy. All I want is you my love.

It’s far from the “subtle” that they had agreed on but it’s not like she dislikes it. In fact, it puts a silly smile on her face that she can’t wipe away. Now, she’s wondering if this truly is his first fake relationship because he just seems too good at it.

Ellie goes to look at the picture again, carefully trying to commit to memory everything about it, before she closes her phone and tosses it next to her. She knows that tomorrow, every celebrity gossip blog is going to start writing articles about their Pictagram posts and she’ll feel the full effects of their fake relationship once dawn breaks.

But for now, she allows herself to get lost in her thoughts and lets the exhaustion of the day pull her to sleep. Because tomorrow, she’ll be going through an experience she’s never had before.

An experience that, that she hopes, will bring more good than bad.

~*~

“Helloooo? Earth to Ellie?” Ingrid huffs as she crosses her arms in front of her chest. “Look if you’re too busy to hang out with me and get pics for my Pictagram, we can always reschedule.”

“Huh? Oh, sorry,” Ellie replies sheepishly as she places her phone on the table. “My bad Ingrid, what were you saying?”

“I was saying,” Ingrid says as she gestures her hand to Ellie, her sparkly pink nails glinting under the florescent lights of the café. “What’s up with you and Logan?”

“Nothing’s up.”

Ellie’s phone pings with a new message and Ingrid narrows her eyes suspiciously as she leans in and swipes Ellie’s phone from the table. Ellie scrambles to get it back but Ingrid is too quick and she’s already inputting Ellie’s password and seeing the new message.

“Still up for date night, El?” Ingrid reads in delight and shock before she turns to Ellie with a dramatic gasp. “Ellie Wheeler you’re dating Logan and you didn’t tell me? What, are we not friends anymore or something?”

“Shh!” Ellie moves across the table between them and grabs her phone as she nervously looks around the semi-crowded space of the café. “And he’s exaggerating. It’s not date night, we’re just watching a movie.”

“Yeah because that’s soooo not a date,” Ingrid rolls her eyes as she picks up her cup of tea and takes a sip. “Whatever. I’m happy for you, he’s definitely an upgrade from all the assholes you’ve dated in the past.”

“I told you we’re not dating,” Ellie says as she takes a peek at her phone and almost melts a little at the list of movies he’s already curated for them to watch later tonight. “At least not officially, not until we announce it in three days.”

“Announce? Officially?” Ingrid narrows her eyes at Ellie before she lowers her voice. “So it’s a fake rel?”

“Yeah,” Ellie picks one of the movies from his list and sends him a quick message. “It’s just that—fake. So we aren’t actually dating.”

“Then what’s with his Picta posts?” Ingrid pulls out her own phone and navigates to Logan’s page. “In the past week he’s either posting about his car, his upcoming album or cryptic posts about you. I mean look at this,” Ingrid clicks on a picture and turns the phone to Ellie. “It’s a picture of him in a field of flowers. The caption literally has the lyrics to your song. Dude sounds like his halfway in love already!”

Ellie blushes a little as she looks at the picture Ingrid’s showing her. She really does love that photo, it’s probably one of her favorite ones his posted. In the past few weeks, they’ve both been trying to be “subtle” about slowly enticing the public with their supposed relationship but Ellie has gradually learned that there is nothing subtle about Logan. All of his posts leave no room for speculation or doubt while she tries her best to be subtle when she posted a picture of her wearing a yellow and black dress.

“He’s just really good at the whole fake dating I guess,” Ellie shrugs as her phone pings with another new message from Logan. She glances at her phone and a small smile tugs on her lips when she sees his message.

Nice, I wanted to watch that one. Your place or mine?

Yours, she replies with a small smile.

Ingrid frowns. “I feel like a third wheel and he’s not even here.”

“Okay, phone down now. Let’s take the picture because I need to go and finish up one more song for my album.”

Ingrid rolls her eyes as she motions with her fingers for Ellie to come closer so they can take the picture together over their array of untouched desserts on the table. Ellie smiles prettily, the kind of smile she’ll only ever use when she’s taking pictures to be posted, as Ingrid tilts her head down a little and pouts her lips a little.

After twenty or thirty pictures with different angles, Ingrid is finally satisfied and flicks through the pictures before she finally settles on one.

“What should the caption be?” Ingrid says as her nails tap on screen. “Girls day out? One in a Million reunion?” Ingrid looks up from her phone and frowns when she sees Ellie grinning at her phone before Ingrid sneakily takes a candid photo. “When your friend can’t get off of her phone because she can’t stop talking to her fake boyfriend?”

Ellie glances up at Ingrid with a small frown. “One in a Million reunion sounds better.”

“You think?” Ingrid scoffs as she types out the phrase and posts it first. She then pulls up the candid photo she took of Ellie, writes down a caption and posts it. She leans back and observes Ellie and waits patiently for her response.

Ellie furrows her eyebrows before she looks up at Ingrid with blank face. “Really Ingrid?”

“It’s not a lie,” Ingrid smirks knowingly.

Ellie sighs as she reads the caption again under her picture.

Guess what’s making El smile so much? Hint: it’s a date.

Ingrid is right at least, it’s not a lie that she’s genuinely excited for her not-a-date with Logan. In the past week or so, they’ve gotten closer. A lot closer than she’d expect them to be and she’s starting to see how…charming, caring and genuinely nice Logan can be. It has come to the point where they’ve been talking late into the night until she’s basically fallen asleep on the phone.

And that terrifies her. Ellie doesn’t want to admit it but the feelings she’s starting to catch from him are starting to spiral into a dangerous territory and if she was smarter, a little more cautious, she’d cut her losses and ask for this fake relationship to be cancelled and, as Raleigh advised, bounce.

But she doesn’t want to. Not when she really likes the feeling of being able to unironically say that the Logan is her boyfriend.

“Anyway, I need to go,” Ellie pockets her phone and stands up from the chair. “Let’s meet up again next week if you’re free.”

“Sure,” Ingrid waves her way and flips her blond hair over her shoulder. “But next time actually pay attention to me, okay?”

“Roger that,” Ellie grins as she places her sunglasses, makes her way to the door and out of the café.

~*~

The ping of Logan’s phone sounds loud in the empty space of his makeshift studio in his apartment. He looks at it curiously before he moves the guitar to the side and reaches for the black device. A wide smile pulls on his lips when he sees the picture of Ellie grinning at her phone, his eyes flit to the caption below the picture and the smile on his face starts to physically hurt his cheeks.

He goes to message Ellie, his fingers typing out his thoughts before he can stop them.

I’m excited too troublemaker. He pauses, deletes the message and tries again.

You look cute in the picture. He pauses again and decides fuck it—he’ll send both.

I’m excited too troublemaker, you look cute in the picture.

He waits with anticipation when he sees the three dots appear and disappear. When he reads her message, he’s sent into a fit of laughter as he lays down on the carpeted floor and holds his phone inches from his face.

Oh my god shut up. She follows up the reply with a cute sticker of a tiny bunny character repeatedly thumping on the chest of a taller bunny.

He grins lazily as he types out his next message. Are you bringing snacks?

Better, I made something.

Logan raises a curious eyebrow. He can confidently call himself an Ellie fan and he, embarrassingly, knows a lot about her. Her knowing how to cook though, somehow, escaped his radar.

Didn’t know you could cook. Are you any good?

The reply is instant, almost as if she already knew that he would ask that question.

Of course I am. Don’t you trust me?

I do. Because strangely enough, he really does. Careful troublemaker, you know what they say about a way to a man’s heart.

Logan, I don’t need to be good at cooking to get through your heart.

Logan’s eyes widen, his heart picking up in speed, and he’s finding it a little difficult to come up with a reply. But his few seconds of silence must’ve set her in a panic when she hurriedly follows it up with another message.

I mean, I’m already your fake girlfriend, right?

Right, he replies before he gathers what little is left of his self-control to finish his message. I’ll see you later El. I gotta finish up the last song before you come.

Okay, see you later!

Logan lets out a heavy sigh and drops his phone on his chest and lays his forearm across his eyes. His mind swims and he can’t stop himself from finally admitting that he has the biggest crush on Ellie Wheeler.

And it’s not just a fan-crush either but a real, tangible, heart-stopping crush.

Not that this is a recent development or anything, he’s noticed that in the past few days—he’s finding it increasingly difficult when he’s nowhere near his phone. Even when he’s recording the newer songs he wrote for his album that finally got approved (due to Candy’s success), he always goes to his phone after each session so he can reply to whatever message she’s left for him.

That’s never happened to him.

Whenever Logan gets himself involved with a girl, he’s usually fine if they don’t talk for a couple days. Hell, he even prefers it since he values his solitude. But with Ellie, it feels as if he’s going to miss out on something important if he doesn’t reply to her messages or talk to her at the end of the day.

It’s a terrifying feeling for him. They haven’t even properly stared to fake date and he’s already catching this pesky crush that he can’t seem to shake out. And Logan knows himself well. No matter how hard he’s going to try to mask it, it’s going to be obvious on his face when the Paps take their pictures.

He sighs and pushes himself off of the floor and grabs his guitar. He’s been having trouble with composing his last song for the album since he’s been instructed to make it the kind of heartbroken love-pining that he’s known for—except make it R&B pop. He was excited at first, finally being able to blend what he’s known for and what he loves to create, but these days he just can’t seem to write down a single word or strum out a single note.

The subject is about heartbreak after all but all he’s been feeling is flutters of butterflies in the past few days.

He strums out the first few notes and looks to his notebook to test out the words he’s able to somehow to write down.

“Tell me once again, tell me you love me like you did that moment,” Logan pauses, reaches out to crush out a word, and he tries again. “Tell me once again, tell me you love me like you did that—time? Fuck!”

Logan places his guitar down and weaves his hand through his hair in frustration. He’s well aware that if he doesn’t finish this song within the month, it’s going to get handed to ghost writers. He’s also scarcely aware how important this album is. If the reception is good, he’ll be able to continue to release songs that he’ll actually love to sing on stage for once. No more grumpy producers telling him to cry in the booth and no more forced interviews where he has to pretend that the song is about a girl who broke his heart once.

It’s finally going to be only him, his music and his own art.

The distant and muted sound of his apartment buzzer reaches his ears and at first, he’s a little annoyed that someone’s here to interrupt his session but the annoyance is immediately wiped away when he remembers that it’s most likely Ellie.

He pushes himself off of the floor and takes quick and long steps towards the front door and yanks it open. He can’t help the smile that breaks out on his face when he sees her standing in front of him with a light peach sundress and a Tupperware of something in her arms.

“Hey, I’m here for movie night.”

“Date night you mean,” He corrects with a grin before he moves to the side and motions for her to enter the apartment. “Make yourself at home. I’m sure you already know where everything is.”

Ellie rolls her eyes with a smile before she makes her way to his kitchen. “How’s the song going?”

“Awful. I’ve got a mental block I can’t get over,” Logan sighs as he leans on the doorframe of the kitchen and observes her quietly as she pulls out plate and puts it on the counter. “Anyway, what did you make?”

“Cookies!” She smiles with pride as she tilts the Tupperware full of cookies to him before she starts to place them on the plate. “I hope you like peanut butter cookies.”

“I love them,” If Logan is being honest with himself, his feelings towards any flavor of cookie is about average. He neither likes them nor hates them but if Ellie is the one that made them, somehow he can find himself to love them. He walks to the counter and plucks one cookie from the plate and takes a bite. His eyes widen a little as the flavor hits his tongue. “Damn, these are good.”

“Told you I’m good,” Ellie beams with pride as she takes the plate and motions towards the living room. “Also, what’s blocking you from the song?”

“You” is what he’d like to say but he’s not sure if he can survive to the aftermath of that conversation. So he shrugs and follows behind her as they make their way to the living room.

“Don’t know, guess it’s just one of those days.”

“Want me to help?” Ellie abruptly stops walking and turns around, almost sending Logan crashing into her. “I also want to bounce off some lyrics with you for a song I’m working on.”

Logan thinks for a moment at the proposition. If he’s being honest, he’d rather not revisit the song until he’s let it sleep for a few days. But he does want to hear the new song she’s working on and there is one song he’s been meaning to let her listen to.

“I have a better idea. I have this song I want to run by you, get your feel for it.”

Ellie’s eyes light up as she looks around a little to try and locate the direction of his studio. “Raincheck on movie night then?”

“Sure,” Logan chuckles softly as he points to the door down the hall. “Bring the cookies though, something to keep our brain going.”

Ellie nods as she walks towards the door he points to and enters his studio. It’s a lot smaller than the one in her penthouse but it’s enough provide a good space for creating music. She places the plate of cookies on the table before she sits on the carpeted floor, crosses her legs, and pulls out her phone from her purse so she can find the instrumentals for the song.

Logan chuckles as he takes sits next to her. “I was going to offer you a chair.”

“No way, I think better when I’m sitting on the floor.”

Logan smiles softly, the little string of his heart tugging at the thought that it’s the same for him too.

“Okay here are the instrumentals,” Ellie starts, her voice serious, commanding and—for Logan—extremely sexy. “I’ve got the chorus down and the bridge but the first verse still sounds clunky.”

“Sing it for me.”

Ellie nods as she presses play, latches on to the lyrics on her phone and starts the song with a few adlibs of soft and raspy ohs.

When I see you, I feel a sense of familiarity After a moment of thinking, I approached you Besides us, everything else has vanished Please trust this experience Match my tempo babe

She finishes and looks at Logan expectantly but he only looks back at her with awe.

“I still can’t get over how good your voice sounds,” He chuckles softly when Ellie glares at him slightly. “Hand me the lyrics.”

Ellie hands him the phone. He rewinds the song a couple of times and mumbles through the lyrics a little before his eyes catch on to the part where it feels a little clunky.

“Here, this part sounds a little off the beat,” Logan moves her phone closer to her, his shoulders touching hers. “Maybe something with one more syllable to hit the last note?”

“Hmm…” Ellie takes her phone and hums through the lyrics, her eyes intensely trained on the words, as Logan observes her with a soft smile. “How about this? Please trust this moment to me.”

“Sing it for me.”

Ellie nods and she gets through the first part quickly before she slows down at the end of the first verse and sings the new lyrics.

Besides us, everything else has vanished Please trust this moment to me Match my tempo babe

“That’s it,” Logan says as he unconsciously moves closer to her, his face so close he can see the light peach blush on her cheeks. “Sounds like a hit already.”

She turns to him with a smile but quickly looks away when she realizes how close their faces are. She distracts herself by typing in the new lyrics to the song. She goes through the entire song again a couple of times, just to make sure that there’s nothing else he needs to comment on, before she’s finally satisfied with the results.

“Okay, I’m done with mine. Let me hear yours.”

Logan chuckles softly as he pushes himself off of the floor and moves to the keyboard in the corner of the room. He takes a seat just as Ellie follows him and stands behind him. Logan looks over his shoulder at her with a smile before he pats the space next to him.

Just as she takes a seat, his fingers fly over the keys and the soft and slow start of the song fills the studio. Although the actual song will have more layers to it, this is the best he can do for now. He drops his voice down a little as he tries to achieve the emotions he’s wanted to inject into this song the moment he composed it—sultry and enticing.

It’s a little stuffy when I make eye contact with you I’d like to dive deep into your eyes I’d like to look into them but I can’t If your fingers touch me, I feel like I’m losing my mind.

He goes through the first verse with ease, the emotions in his heart easily flowing out and mixing with the beat and lyrics of the song and he’s terrified of how easily all these emotions come to him when he’s singing for her.

He glances at her knowingly as he reaches to the second verse, the lyrics of the song starting to jump out of the page and into what little space is left between them.

I think I’m drunk Try mixing in another blue sapphire Let me know if there’s an island for me in your sea It’s like I’ll explode The blue spreads through all of me. You can fall for me, if you want.

He reaches the bridge and belts out a sustained high note and finishes the song with a few adlibs of ohs and lets the last of the note ring out in the studio.

“Wow,” Ellie says as she looks up at him with wonder and awe. “That’s an amazing song Logan. I feel like I already have a favorite song from your album.”

Logan grins as he gazes into her eyes. “No changes then?”

“None. Absolutely none,” Ellie unconsciously plays with the edge of her dress. “You should sing for me more often. I like being your only audience.”

Logan laughs a little, his body unconsciously moving closer to hers. “Does this mean you’re now a Logan fan?”

“Release the full album first,” She replies teasingly as she tilts her head to him. “I’ll decide then.”

“Ellie…” Logan whispers softly, his brown eyes searching hers, as he starts to move lean forward but he catches himself—his brain catching up to his erratic heart. He pulls away abruptly and tries to internally shake away the haze that she’s brought on him. Anymore than this and he’ll be helplessly falling into her arms. “Anyway, it’s getting late, don’t you think? Don’t want Mona to chew your ass out.”

“Oh,” Ellie says, the disappointment clear in her voice, before she turns to look at the clock on the wall and is shocked that two hours had run by without her knowledge. “You’re right, I should go.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Logan stands from the chair and grabs the plate from the table. “I’ll pack this up too.”

“You can keep it, it was supposed to be our snacks anyway,” She chuckles as she makes her way out of the studio.

Logan follows dutifully behind her as they walk down the hallway and reach his front door.

“Thanks for helping me with the song Logan. Too bad I can’t give you the credits for it.”

Logan grins as he reaches over and opens the door for her. “Make it up to me by giving me a signed album.”

“Careful, that’s how other artists end up taking advantage of you,” Ellie warns with a playful smile before she steps out of the door and looks at him a little apprehensively. “Our fake relationship is going to start in three days. Are you ready?”

“I am,” Logan says honestly, maybe even a little excitedly. “I doubt anyone’s going to be surprised though.”

“That’s your fault, I told you to be subtle,” Ellie chuckles softly before she turns to leave. She looks over her shoulder and gives him a small smile. “Goodnight Logan.”

“Goodnight Ellie. Message me when you get home.”

Elli gives him a small wave goodbye and watches her carefully to make sure she gets to the elevators without the any problems. When the elevator closes, he closes the front door and presses his forehead against the wooden surface. He squeezes his eyes shut and runs through everything that happened so far.

He groans a little when he realizes how close he was to kissing her after he finished singing his song. If he was a weaker man, he would’ve done it. But she already set her boundaries. No kissing, hugging or touching—unless it’s in public. And he’s going to keep that promise.

Although, embarrassingly, he’s already running through the best date spots for their first official date as a fake couple.

A date, he’s hoping, will end with a kiss.

~*~

“Ellie! Come here!”

Ellie turns to look at the director in her chair as the make-up artist continues to touch up her make up for the music video shoot.

“Coming!” Ellie replies as she stands from the chair and smooths out the orange and black jacket she’s wearing before she makes her way to the director.

Once she reaches him, he gives a quick rundown of the scene needed for the shoot. She follows him around the set, an explosion of yellow, pastel neon and soft orange lights and décor that mimics old 90s arcades, as he points out the different places she’ll be shooting her solo scenes. One where she’ll be inside a tube like structure, another is in front of a makeshift brick wall and the last one is a raised platform with fairy lights dotted in the background and foreground.

“We’ll shoot your parts first then we move on to Logan’s,” The director motions to where Logan is sitting in his chair having his final run through from the assistant director for his own scenes. “The props should be in the tube.”

Ellie’s eyes light up when she turns to look at the tube structure and sure enough, there on the bottom is where a myriad of different shaped and colored candies in aesthetically pleasing glass jars wait for her. It’s already pretty rare for her to eat anything too heavy days before a music video shooting so having the opportunity to eat on the actual shooting is a blessing she’ll never have again. Unless she titles all of her songs to something food-related.

“Can I eat it?” Ellie asks as she crawls into the center of the tube, takes the glass jars and puts it on her lap as she takes a seat. She twists open the lid and takes out a blue dice-shaped candy and holds it up to the light.

The director laughs. “Just try not to eat all of it. We start in five everyone!”

“You okay over here?”

Ellie looks up and smiles when she sees Logan approaching her in a red and white hoodie, his white pants hugging is legs in the most distracting of ways. He reaches the tube structure and takes a seat on the entrance of the tube.

“Good, you?”                                                                                                                  

Logan smiles as he motions to run his hand through his hair before he stops himself when he remembers that his hairstylist has already spent hours on his hair.

“Ready to eat something, I’m hungry.”

Ellie grins as she offers him the candy she’s holding. “Want a bite then?”

Logan raises an eyebrow before he leans forward and takes the candy between his teeth, his eyes never leaving hers as his lips touch the tips of her fingers.

Ellie is immensely thankful to her makeup artist for making her makeup just a little thicker today so it can survive the harsh lights. It turns out it has a dual purpose today—survive the lights and hide away the blush on her cheeks.

“Delicious,” Logan comments with a cheeky smile as he runs his thumb over his bottom lip. “Save some for me later.”

Ellie doesn’t have time to reply, not that she had any coherent words to reply with, when the director calls out for the first take. Logan stands from where he’s sitting and gives her a little thumbs up before he walks out of the frame of shoot.

Ellie takes a minute to get her beating heart to settle before she turns to the camera, her demeanor already changing, as she hears Candy playing in the background.

“And action!”

~*~

“Good job Ellie, let’s take a five minute break and reset,” The director calls out as Ellie hops off of the platform.

Just as she’s about to go back to her seat somewhere behind the cameras, Logan intercepts her and offers her a water bottle. She smiles gratefully and drinks almost half of the bottle. Maybe being under the lights and nibbling on candy for forty minutes made her more dehydrated than she thought.

“Want me to get you another one?” Logan chuckles as she shakes her head no.

“I’m good for now,” Ellie twists the bottle cap close and hands it back to him. “Ready for our shoot?”

“Yeah,” Logan’s eyes flit to somewhere over her shoulder and he moves to her side, wraps an arm around her waist and guides her away a little. “Careful, there’s a camera behind you.”

“Huh? Oh thanks,” Ellie looks behind her just as she sees the huge black device hovering near where she had been standing. A memory comes to her and she laughs a little. “Ever hit your head on this?”

Logan winces at the thought and shakes his head no.

“I did, when I was shooting Easy,” Ellie chuckles as she unconsciously leans into him, his hand warming up the skin on her waist. “Just as I was really feeling the music, I turn to the side and bam! The makeup team had to do some magic to hide the red bump here.”

Ellie points to her right temple and Logan snickers as he gazes into her eyes with a soft smile, giving her waist a reassuring small squeeze. “I’ll make sure we won’t get a repeat of that then.”

“Then you’re doing a fantastic job so far,” Ellie moves closer to him, the space between them nonexistent, and somewhere in the back of her mind—she’s aware that she shouldn’t be this close to him even if everyone knows that they’re “dating”.

“Logan and Ellie! Let’s start,” The directors voice booms around the space of the studio and the spell they’ve trapped themselves in breaks. Ellie is the first to move a little away from his hold and Logan, reluctantly, lets his arm fall away from her waist. When he’s no longer in her space, he can already feel the rush of cold air that envelopes him.

“Make sure you don’t get left behind,” Ellie comments as she looks up at him with a teasing smile.

Logan smiles and puts his hands in his pockets, the fire in her eyes both inspiring and addicting.

“Never troublemaker.”

~*~

Ellie takes a sip from her glass of wine, her back against the headboard of her bed, as she crosses her ankles and goes through the selection of movies on her TV for her next movie to watch. After the music video shoot that ran for close to three hours, she was finally able to relax for the rest of the day and she’s been spending it catching up on movies she’s wanted to watch for awhile. Although she wanted to hang out with Logan after the shoot, he had to quickly get to an interview with a popular podcast channel on PlayMe.

After she picks one from the thriller category, she blindly pats around for her phone on the bed. She goes through her Pictagram account and lazily scrolls through her timeline as the opening scene of the movie fills the silence of her bedroom. Since they’ve announced their relationship (with a cringy couples pose pic that had them laughing and wheezing the first few takes), most of her timeline has been full of their fans congratulating them and making compilation videos of whatever little interaction they had shown in public. Ellie doesn’t want to admit it out loud but she really does enjoy seeing people so happily supporting the both of them. In her past relationships, most of her fans and friends disapproved of her choice (with good reason too) but with Logan, all she’s getting is love and support.

It’s painful for her to admit it but Logan is just that good of a guy and he really is the Cadence to Ellie.

Ellie frowns a little at the idea that she’s the Raleigh of their relationship.

!!!!!!!! El, watch this!

Ellie’s eyebrows furrow a little when she sees PlayMe link that Riya, her closest friend even before she became an artist, has sent her. She pauses the movie and places her glass of wine on her nightstand when she sees the thumbnail of the video. She can already tell that it’s Logan sitting in a podcast room and if she isn’t mistaken, it’s probably the interview he had to quickly run to after their shooting.

You sure this is all fake?

Ellie’s eyes widen a Riya’s message before she quickly locates her earphones, plugs it in and plays the video. It starts off innocently enough, just going through Logan’s music history and talking about his most popular songs. Then it delves into Candy and, naturally, to her.

“So, Candy and Ellie. What’s that like?”

Logan chuckles a little, a soft smile pulling on his lips. “Which one do you want me to talk about? Depending on how much time we have left, I don’t think we can get to both.”

The hosts laughs. “Ellie of course!”

“Yeah Ellie!” His co-host chimes in. “What’s it like working with her?”

“Amazing,” Logan grins as he leans back on his seat. “She’s passionate about her work. She doesn’t take any of my crap either.”

“And you guys are dating now! What’s that like?”

“It’s…” Logan pauses a little, a soft smile tugging on his lips. “Surreal you know? I mean dating your idol is probably number one on the list of things that doesn’t happen to guys like me.”

“I bet Ellie is just as lucky,” The co-host laughs.

“Nah, I’m the lucky one,” Logan’s voice drops down to something soft, something honest. “She’s sweet…way too sweet for someone like me. She knows how to have fun too and it’s never boring when I’m with her...it kinda feels like home sometimes.”

The host whistles. “Write her a song while you’re at it.”

Logan laughs. “Told you I’d only have time to talk about one.”

“If Ellie is listening in—hi Ellie!—what would you like to say to her?”

“Where’s the camera—oh there,” Logan smiles handsomely directly to the camera, his brown eyes sparkling with amusement and affection. “Miss you already troublemaker. Let’s reschedule that date night already.”

The whole room dissolves into awws and Ellie touches her cheek, feeling the warmth of her blush heating up her palm. She doesn’t even get the time to properly process what she just saw when Riya sends her a flood of messages.

Did you see it? El tell me you’ve seen it. Was he really faking it? And why does he call you troublemaker? El!!! Reply already!!!

Calm down Riya! I just finished watching it.

Cool. Thoughts?

So many. Ellie probably has enough thoughts in her head to last her for the rest of the week. But how is she able to properly articulate all of them without giving away her crush for Logan? Nobody knows about it—not even Raleigh and Cadence, the two people she shares everything with.

I think…maybe it isn’t all fake?

I knew it! I freaking knew it! The way he looked at the camera? The things he said? Sorry but your boyfriend is hot El.

She wants to correct Riya. That Logan isn’t her boyfriend but rather her fake boyfriend but surprisingly, giddily, she doesn’t. So she immerses herself a little in the fantasy, in the belief that maybe there really is something more to them than just their fake relationship.

It won’t hurt right? After all, this is just a little crush. A feeling she won’t allow to grow into something more. After all, she promised Raleigh that it wouldn’t get to that—hell, she promised herself.

But a crush is something small and insignificant. Something she can easily overlook and abandon when things start to get sticky.

So Ellie flops down on her bed, a wide grin on her face, as she dials Riya’s number so they can properly gush over her extremely hot boyfriend and talk about all the things she’s excited to explore with her very much fake but not fake relationship with Logan.

[path-of-my-childhood]

Billboard Woman of the Decade Taylor Swift: 'I Do Want My Music to Live On'

By: Jason Lipshutz for Billboard Magazine Date: December 14th issue

In the 2010s, she went from country superstar to pop titan and broke records with chart-topping albums and blockbuster tours. Now Swift is using her industry clout to fight for artists’ rights and foster the musical community she wished she had coming up.

One evening in late October, before she performed at a benefit concert at the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles, Taylor Swift’s dressing room became - as it often does - an impromptu summit of music’s biggest names. Swift was there to take part in the American Cancer Society’s annual We Can Survive concert alongside Billie Eilish, Lizzo, Camila Cabello and others, and a few of the artists on the lineup came by to visit.

Eilish, along with her mother and her brother/collaborator, Finneas O’Connell, popped in to say hello - the first time she and Swift had met. Later, Swift joined the exclusive club of people who have seen Marshmello without his signature helmet when the EDM star and his manager stopped by.

“Two dudes walked in - I didn’t know which one was him,” recalls Swift a few weeks later, sitting on a lounge chair in the backyard of a private Beverly Hills residence following a photo shoot. Her momentary confusion turned into a pang of envy. “It’s really smart! Because he’s got a life, and he can get a house that doesn’t have to have a paparazzi-proof entrance.” She stops to adjust her gray sweatshirt dress and lets out a clipped laugh.

Swift, who will celebrate her 30th birthday on Dec. 13, has been impossibly famous for nearly half of her lifetime. She was 16 when she released her self-titled debut album in 2006, and 20 when her second album, Fearless, won the Grammy Award for album of the year in 2010, making her the youngest artist to ever receive the honor. As the decade comes to a close, Swift is one of the most accomplished musical acts of all time: 37.3 million albums sold, according to Nielsen Music; 95 entries on the Billboard Hot 100 (including five No. 1s); 23 Billboard Music Awards; 12 Country Music Association Awards; 10 Grammys; and five world tours.

She also finishes the decade in a totally different realm of the music world from where she started. Swift’s crossover from country to pop - hinted at on 2012’s Red and fully embraced on 2014’s 1989 - reflected a mainstream era in which genres were blended with little abandon, where artists with roots in country, folk and trap music could join forces without anyone raising eyebrows. (See: Swift’s top 20 hit “End Game,” from 2017’s reputation, which featured Ed Sheeran and Future.)

Swift’s new album, Lover, released in August, is both a warm break from the darkness of reputation - which was created during a wave of negative press generated by Swift’s public clash with Kanye West and Kim Kardashian-West - as well as an amalgam of all her stylistic explorations through the years, from dreamy synth-pop to hushed country. “The skies were opening up in my life,” says Swift of the album, which garnered three Grammy nominations, including song of the year for the title track.

She recorded Lover after the Reputation Stadium Tour broke the record for the highest-grossing U.S. tour late last year. In 2020, Swift will embark on Lover Fest, a run of stadium dates that will feature a hand-picked lineup of artists (as yet unannounced) and allow Swift more time off from the road. “This is a year where I have to be there for my family - there’s a lot of question marks throughout the next year, so I wanted to make sure that I could go home,” says Swift, likely referencing her mother’s cancer diagnosis, which inspired the Lover heart-wrencher “Soon You’ll Get Better.”

Now, however, Swift finds herself in a different highly publicized dispute. This time it’s with Scott Borchetta, the head of her former label, Big Machine Records, and Scooter Braun, the manager-mogul whose Ithaca Holdings acquired Big Machine Label Group and its master recordings, which include Swift’s six pre-Lover albums, in June. Upon news of the sale, Swift wrote in a Tumblr post that it was her “worst case scenario,” accusing Braun of “bullying” her throughout her career due to his connections with West. She maintains today that she was never given the opportunity to buy her masters outright. (On Tumblr, she wrote that she was offered the chance to “earn” back the masters to one of her albums for each new album she turned in if she re-signed with Big Machine; Borchetta disputed this characterization, saying she had the opportunity to acquire her masters in exchange for re-signing with the label for a “length of time” - 10 more years, according to screenshots of legal documents posted on the Big Machine website.)

Swift has said that she intends to rerecord her first six albums next year, starting next November, when she says she’s contractually able to - in order to regain control of her recordings. But the back-and-forth appears to be nowhere near over: Last month, Swift alleged that Borchetta and Braun were blocking her from performing her past hits at the American Music Awards or using them in an upcoming Netflix documentary - claims Big Machine characterized as “false information” in a response that did not get into specifics. (Swift ultimately performed the medley she had planned.) In the weeks following this interview, Braun said he was open to “all possibilities” in finding a “resolution,” and Billboard sources say that includes negotiating a sale. Swift remains interested in buying her masters, though the price could be a sticking point, given her rerecording plans, the control she has over the licensing of her music for film and TV, and the market growth since Braun’s acquisition.

However it plays out, the battle over her masters is the latest in a series of moves that has turned Swift into something of an advocate for artists’ rights, and made her a cause that everyone from Halsey to Elizabeth Warren has rallied behind. From 2014 to 2017, Swift withheld her catalog from Spotify to protest the streaming company’s compensation rates, saying in a 2014 interview, “There should be an inherent value placed on art. I didn’t see that happening, perception-wise, when I put my music on Spotify.” In 2015, ahead of the launch of Apple Music, Swift wrote an open letter criticizing Apple for its plan to not pay royalties during the three-month free trial it was set to offer listeners; the company announced a new policy within 24 hours. Most recently, when she signed a new global deal with Universal Music Group in 2018, Swift (who is now on Republic Records) said one of the conditions of her contract was that UMG share proceeds from any sale of its Spotify equity with its roster of artists - and make them non-recoupable against those artists’ earnings.

During a wide-ranging conversation, Billboard’s Woman of the Decade expresses hope that she can help make the lives of creators a little easier in the years to come - and a belief that her behind-the-scenes strides will be as integral to her legacy as her biggest singles. “New artists and producers and writers need work, and they need to be likable and get booked in sessions, and they can’t make noise - but if I can, then I’m going to,” promises Swift. This is where being impossibly famous can be a very good thing. “I know that it seems like I’m very loud about this,” she says, “but it’s because someone has to be.”

While watching some of your performances this year - like SNL and NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert - I was struck by how focused you seemed, like there were no distractions getting in the way of what you were trying to say. That’s a really wonderful way of looking at this phase of my life and my music. I’ve spent a lot of time re-calibrating my life to make it feel manageable. Because there were some years there where I felt like I didn’t quite know what exactly to give people and what to hold back, what to share and what to protect. I think a lot of people go through that, especially in the last decade. I broke through pre-social media, and then there was this phase where social media felt fun and casual and quirky and safe. And then it got to the point where everyone has to evaluate their relationship with social media. So I decided that the best thing I have to offer people is my music. I’m not really here to influence their fashion or their social lives. That has bled through into the live part of what I do.

Meanwhile, you’ve found a way to interact with your fans in this very pure way - on your Tumblr page. Tumblr is the last place on the internet where I feel like I can still make a joke because it feels small, like a neighborhood rather than an entire continent. We can kid around - they literally drag me. It’s fun. That’s a real comfort zone for me. And just like anything else, I need breaks from it sometimes. But when I do participate in that space, it’s always in a very inside-joke, friend vibe. Sometimes, when I open Twitter, I get so overwhelmed that I just immediately close it. I haven’t had Twitter on my phone in a while because I don’t like to have too much news. Like, I follow politics, and that’s it. But I don’t like to follow who has broken up with who, or who wore an interesting pair of shoes. There’s only so much bandwidth my brain can really have.

You’ve spoken in recent interviews about the general expectations you’ve faced, using phrases like “They’ve wanted to see this” and “They hated me for this.” Who is “they”? Is it social media or disparaging think pieces or... It’s sort of an amalgamation of all of it. People who aren’t active fans of your music, who like one song but love to hear who has been canceled on Twitter. I’ve had several upheavals of somehow not being what I should be. And this happens to women in music way more than men. That’s why I get so many phone calls from new artists out of the blue - like, “Hey, I’m getting my first wave of bad press, I’m freaking out, can I talk to you?” And the answer is always yes! I’m talking about more than 20 people who have randomly reached out to me. I take it as a compliment because it means that they see what has happened over the course of my career, over and over again.

Did you have someone like that to reach out to? Not really, because my career has existed in lots of different neighborhoods of music. I had so many mentors in country music. Faith Hill was wonderful. She would reach out to me and invite me over and take me on tour, and I knew that I could talk to her. Crossing over to pop is a completely different world. Country music is a real community, and in pop I didn’t see that community as much. Now there is a bit of one between the girls in pop - we all have each other’s numbers and text each other - but when I first started out in pop it was very much you versus you versus you. We didn’t have a network, which is weird because we can help each other through these moments when you just feel completely isolated.

Do you feel like those barriers are actively being broken down now? God, I hope so. I also hope people can call it out, [like] if you see a Grammy prediction article, and it’s just two women’s faces next to each other and feels a bit gratuitous. No one’s going to start out being perfectly educated on the intricacies of gender politics. The key is that people are trying to learn, and that’s great. No one’s going to get it perfect, but, God, please try.

At this point, who is your sounding board, creatively and professionally From a creative standpoint, I’ve been writing alone a lot more. I’m good with being alone, with thinking alone. When I come up with a marketing idea for the Lover tour, the album launch, the merch, I’ll go right to my management company that I’ve put together. I think a team is the best way to be managed. Just from my experience, I don’t think that this overarching, one-person-handles-my-career thing was ever going to work for me. Because that person ends up kind of being me who comes up with most of the ideas, and then I have an amazing team that facilitates those ideas. The behind-the-scenes work is different for every phase of my career that I’m in. Putting together the festival shows that we’re doing for Lover is completely different than putting together the Reputation Stadium Tour. Putting together the reputation launch was so different than putting together the 1989 launch. So we really do attack things case by case, where the creative first informs everything else.

You’ve spoken before about how meaningful the reputation tour’s success was. What did it represent? That tour was something that I wanted to immortalize in the Netflix special that we did because the album was a story, but it almost was like a story that wasn’t fully realized until you saw it live. It was so cool to hear people leaving the show being like, “I understand it now. I fully get it now.” There are a lot of red herrings and bait-and-switches in the choices that I’ll make with albums, because I want people to go and explore the body of work. You can never express how you feel over the course of an album in a single, so why try?

That seems especially true of your last three albums or so. “Shake It Off” is nothing like the rest of 1989. It’s almost like I feel so much pressure with a first single that I don’t want the first single to be something that makes you feel like you’ve figured out what I’ve made on the rest of the project. I still truly believe in albums, whatever form you consume them in - if you want to stream them or buy them or listen to them on vinyl. And I don’t think that makes me a staunch purist. I think that that is a strong feeling throughout the music industry. We’re running really fast toward a singles industry, but you got to believe in something. I still believe that albums are important.

The music industry has become increasingly global during the past decade. Is reaching new markets something you think about? Yeah, and I’m always trying to learn. I’m learning from everyone. I’m learning when I go see Bruce Springsteen or Madonna do a theater show. And I’m learning from new artists who are coming out right now, just seeing what they’re doing and thinking, “That’s really cool.” You need to keep your influences broad and wide-ranging, and my favorite people who make music have always done that. I got to work with Andrew Lloyd Webber on the Cats movie, and Andrew will walk through the door and be like, “I’ve just seen this amazing thing on TikTok!” And I’m like, “You are it! You are it!” Because you cannot look at what quote-unquote “the kids are doing” and roll your eyes. You have to learn.

Have you explored TikTok at all? I only see them when they’re posted to Tumblr, but I love them! I think that they’re hilarious and amazing. Andrew says that they’ve made musicals cool again, because there’s a huge musical facet to TikTok. [He’s] like, “Any way we can do that is good.”

How do you see your involvement in the business side of your career progressing in the next decade? You seem like someone who could eventually start a label or be more hands-on with signing artists. I do think about it every once in a while, but if I was going to do it, I would need to do it with all of my energy. I know how important that is, when you’ve got someone else’s career in your hands, and I know how it feels when someone isn’t generous.

You’ve served as an ambassador of sorts for artists, especially recently - staring down streaming services over payouts, increasing public awareness about the terms of record deals. We have a long way to go. I think that we’re working off of an antiquated contractual system. We’re galloping toward a new industry but not thinking about re-calibrating financial structures and compensation rates, taking care of producers and writers. We need to think about how we handle master recordings, because this isn’t it. When I stood up and talked about this, I saw a lot of fans saying, “Wait, the creators of this work do not own their work, ever?” I spent 10 years of my life trying rigorously to purchase my masters outright and was then denied that opportunity, and I just don’t want that to happen to another artist if I can help it. I want to at least raise my hand and say, “This is something that an artist should be able to earn back over the course of their deal - not as a renegotiation ploy - and something that artists should maybe have the first right of refusal to buy.” God, I would have paid so much for them! Anything to own my work that was an actual sale option, but it wasn’t given to me. Thankfully, there’s power in writing your music. Every week, we get a dozen synch requests to use “Shake It Off” in some advertisement or “Blank Space” in some movie trailer, and we say no to every single one of them. And the reason I’m rerecording my music next year is because I do want my music to live on. I do want it to be in movies, I do want it to be in commercials. But I only want that if I own it.

Do you know how long that rerecording process will take? I don’t know! But it’s going to be fun, because it’ll feel like regaining a freedom and taking back what’s mine. When I created [these songs], I didn’t know what they would grow up to be. Going back in and knowing that it meant something to people is actually a really beautiful way to celebrate what the fans have done for my music.

Ten years ago, on the brink of the 2010s, you were about to turn 20. What advice would you give yourself if you could go back in time? Oh, God - I wouldn’t give myself any advice. I would have done everything exactly the same way. Because even the really tough things I’ve gone through taught me things that I never would have learned any other way. I really appreciate my experience, the ups and downs. And maybe that seems ridiculously Zen, but... I’ve got my friends, who like me for the right reasons. I’ve got my family. I’ve got my boyfriend. I’ve got my fans. I’ve got my cats.

Taylor Swift Discusses 'The Man' & 'It's Nice To Have a Friend' In Cover Story Outtakes

Billboard // by Jason Lipshutz // December 12th 2019

During her cover story interview for Billboard’s Women In Music issue, Taylor Swift discussed several aspects of her mega-selling seventh studio album Lover, including its creation after a personal “recalibrating” period, her stripped-down performances of its songs and her plans to showcase the full-length live with her Lover Fest shows next year. In two moments from the extended conversation that did not make the print story, Billboard’s Woman of the Decade also touched upon two of the album’s highlights, which double as a pair of the more interesting songs in her discography: “The Man” and “It’s Nice To Have A Friend.” 

“The Man” imagines how Swift’s experience as a person, artist and figure within the music industry would have been different had she been a man, highlighting how much harder women have to work in order to succeed (“I’m so sick of running as fast as I can / Wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man,” she sings in the chorus). The song has become a fan favorite since the release of Lover, and Swift recently opened a career-spanning medley with the song at the 2019 American Music Awards.

When asked about “The Man,” Swift pointed out specific double standards that exist in everyday life and explained why she wanted to turn that frustration into a pop single. Read Swift’s full thoughts on “The Man” below:

“It was a song that I wrote from my personal experience, but also from a general experience that I’ve heard from women in all parts of our industry. And I think that, the more we can talk about it in a song like that, the better off we’ll be in a place to call it out when it’s happening. So many of these things are ingrained in even women, these perceptions, and it’s really about re-training your own brain to be less critical of women when we are not criticizing men for the same things. So many things that men do, you know, can be phoned-in that cannot be phoned-in for us. We have to really — God, we have to curate and cater everything, but we have to make it look like an accident. Because if we make a mistake, that’s our fault, but if we strategize so that we won’t make a mistake, we’re calculating.

“There is a bit of a damned-if-we-do, damned-if-we-don’t thing happening in music, and that’s why when I can, like, sit and talk and be like ‘Yeah, this sucks for me too,’ that feels good. When I go online and hear the stories of my fans talking about their experience in the working world, or even at school — the more we talk about it, the better off we’ll be. And I wanted to make it catchy for a reason — so that it would get stuck in people’s heads, [so] they would end up with a song about gender inequality stuck in their heads. And for me, that’s a good day.”

Meanwhile, the penultimate song on Lover, “It’s Nice To Have A Friend,” sounds unlike anything in Swift’s catalog thanks to its elliptical structure, lullaby-like tone and incorporation of steel drums and brass. When asked about the song, Swift talked about experimenting with her songwriting, as well as capturing a different angle of the emotional themes at the heart of Lover. Read Swift’s full thoughts on “It’s Nice To Have A Friend” below:

“It was fun to write a song that was just verses, because my whole body and soul wants to make a chorus — every time I sit down to write a song, I’m like, ‘Okay, chorus time, let’s get the chorus done.’ But with that song, it was more of like a poem, and a story and a vibe and a feeling of... I love metaphors that kind of have more than one meaning, and I think I loved the idea that, on an album called Lover, we all want love, we all want to find somebody to see our sights with and hear things with and experience things with.

“But at the end of the day we’ve been searching for that since we were kids! When you had a friend when you were nine years old, and that friend was all you talked about, and you wanted to have sleepovers and you wanted to walk down the street together and sit there drawing pictures together or be silent together, or be talking all night. We’re just looking for that, but endless sparks, as adults.”

Read the full Taylor Swift cover story here, and click here for more info on Billboard’s 2019 Women In Music event, during which Swift will be presented with the first-ever Woman of the Decade award.

[link to this tweet]

Was there ever a part of you that was like, “Oh shit, I like this darker vibe, let’s go even further down that path?” I really Loved Reputation because it felt like a rock opera, or a musical, doing it live. Doing that stadium show was so fun because it was so theatrical and so exciting to perform that, because it’s really cathartic! But I have to follow whatever direction my life is going in emotionally... The skies were opening up in my life. That’s what happened. But in a way that felt like a pink sky, a pink and purple sky, after a storm, and now it looks even more beautiful because it looked so stormy before. And that’s just like, I couldn't stop writing. I’ve never had an album with 18 songs on it before, and a lot of what I do is based on intuition. So, you know, I try not to overthink it. Who knows, there may be another dark album. I plan on doing lots of experimentation over the course of my career. Who knows? But it was a blast, I really loved it.

I mean, look, a Taylor Swift screamo album? I’ll be first in line. I’m so happy to hear that, because I think you might be the only one. Ha! I have a terrible scream. It’s obnoxious.

Why Taylor Swift's Lover Fest Will Be Her Next Big Step

Billboard // by Jason Lipshutz // December 11th 2019 - [Excerpt]

On why she chose to put together Lover fest: “I haven’t really done festivals in years - not since I was a teenager. That’s something that [the fans] don’t expect from me, so that’s why I wanted to do it. I want to challenge myself with new things and at the same time keep giving my fans something to connect to.”

[alanlicht]

Alan Licht’s Minimal Top Ten List #4

A few weeks ago, near the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, my friend Mats Gustafsson sent out a mass email encouraging people to send him record lists to post on the “Discaholics” section of his website--top tens, favorite covers, anything. I immediately thought of the first 3 Minimal Top Ten lists I did (now found online here) back in 1995, 1997, and 2007 respectively, for the fanzine Halana (the first two) and Volcanic Tongue’s website (the third), and sent them to him. Those articles have sort of taken on a life of their own, and I still see them referenced as the albums get reissued and so on. Occasionally people ask me if I’d ever do another one, and looking at all three again made me think now is the hour. I started writing this in the midst of the lockdown, and the drastic reductions in people’s way of life—the restriction of any activity outside the home to the bare essentials, the relative stasis of life in quarantine, even the visual stasis of a Zoom meeting—make revisiting Minimal music, with its aesthetic of working within limitations and hallmarks of repetition and drones, somehow timely as well.

The original lists were never meant to represent “the best” Minimal albums: they were ones that were rare and in some cases surpass, in my opinion, more widely available releases by the same artist and/or better known examples of the genre. Some were records that hadn’t been classified as Minimalist but warranted consideration through that lens. Likewise, the lists aren’t meant to be ranked within themselves, or in comparison to each other; the first record on any of the lists isn’t necessarily vastly preferable to the last, and this fourth list is not the bottom of the barrel, by any stretch. In some cases the present list has records I’ve discovered since 2007; others are records I’ve known for quite a while but haven’t included before for one reason or another. I’ve also made an addendum to selected entries on the first three lists, which have become fairly dated in terms of what is currently available by many of the artists, and to account for some of the significant archival releases in the 25 years since I first compiled them.

Unlike the mid-90s, most if not all of these records can be heard and/or purchased online, whether they’re up on YouTube or available for sale on Discogs. So finding them will be easier than before (although I haven’t included links to any of the titles as a small tribute to the legwork involved in tracking records down in olden tymes), but hopefully the spirit of sharing knowledge and passions that drove my previous efforts, forged in the pre-internet fanzine world, hasn’t been rendered totally redundant by the 24/7 onslaught of virtual note-comparing in social media.

1. Simeon ten Holt Canto Ostinato (various recordings): This was the most significant discovery for me in the last decade, a piece with over one hundred modules to be played on any instrument but mostly realized over the years with two to four pianos. I first encountered a YouTube live video of four pianists tackling it over the course of 90 minutes or so, then bought a double CD on Brilliant Classics from 2005, also for four pianos, that runs about 2 and half hours. The original 3LP recording on Donemus, from 1984, lasts close to 3 hours. It’s addictively listenable, very hypnotic in that pulsed, Steve Reich “Piano Phase”/”Six Pianos” kind of way, with lots of recurring themes (which differentiates it from Terry Riley’s “In C,” its most obvious structural antecedent). Composed over the span of the 70s, as with Roberto Cacciapaglia’s Sei Note in Logica, it’s an  example of someone contemporaneously taking the ball from Reich or Riley and running with it. Every recording I’ve heard has been enjoyable, I’ve yet to pick a favorite.

2. David Borden Music for Amplified Keyboard Instruments (Red Music, 1981) 3. Mother Mallard’s Portable Masterpiece Co. Like a Duck to Water (Earthquack, 1976): These were some of my most cherished Minimal recordings when I was a teenager in the mid-80s, and are still not particularly well-known; they’re probably the biggest omission in the previous lists (at least from my perspective). Borden formed Mother Mallard, supposedly the first all-synthesizer ensemble, as a trio in the late 60s, although there’s electric piano on the records too. He went on to do music under his own name that hinged on the multi-keyboard Minimalism-meets-Renaissance classical concept he first explored with Mother Mallard, as exemplified by his 12-part series “The Continuing Story of Counterpoint” (a title inspired by both Philip Glass’ “Music in Twelve Parts” and the Beatles’ “The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill”). I first heard Parts 6 & 9 of “Continuing Story” (from Music for Amplified Keyboard Instruments) on Tim Page’s 1980s afternoon radio show on WNYC, and bought the Mother Mallard LPs (Like A Duck is the second, the first is self-titled) from New Music Distribution Service soon after. I mail-ordered the Borden album  from Wayside Music, which had cut-out copies, maybe a year later (c. 1986). I wasn’t much of a synth guy, but I loved the propulsive, rapid-fire counterpoint and fast-changing, lyrical melodies found on these records. “C-A-G-E Part 2,” which occupies side 2 of the Mother Mallard album and utilizes only those pitches, has to be a pinnacle of the Minimal genre. Interestingly, Borden claims to not really be able to “hear” harmony and composes each part of these (generally) three-part inventions individually, all the way through. The two-piano “Continuing Story of Counterpoint Part Two” on the 1985 album Anatidae is also beloved by me, and there was an archival Mother Mallard CD called Music by David Borden (Arbiter, 2003) that’s worth hearing.

4. Charles Curtis/Charles Curtis Trio: Ultra White Violet Light/Sleep (Beau Rivage, 1997): Full disclosure: Charles is a long-time friend, but this record seems forgotten and deserves another look, especially in light of the long-overdue 3CD survey of his performances of other composers’ material that Saltern released last year. This was a double album of four side-long tracks, conceived with the intent that two sides could be played simultaneously, in several different configurations; two of them are Charles solo on cello and sine tones, the others are with a trio and have spoken vocals and rock instrumentation, with cello and the sine tones also thrown into the mix. (I’ve never heard any of the sides combined, although now it would probably be easily achieved with digital mixing software.) The instrumental stuff is the closest you can come to hearing Charles’ beautiful arrangement of Terry Jennings’ legendary “Piece for Cello and Saxophone,” at least until his own recording of it sees the light of day; the same deeply felt cello playing against a sine tone drone. And it would be interesting to see what Slint fans thought of the trio material. Originally packaged in a nifty all-white uni-pak sleeve with a photo print pasted into the gatefold, it was reissued with a different cover on the now-defunct Squealer label on LP and CD but has disappeared since then. Stellar.

5. Arthur Russell Instrumentals 1974 Vol. 2 (Another Side/Crepuscule, 1984) 6. Peter Zummo Zummo with an X (Loris, 1985):  Arthur Russell has posthumously developed a somewhat surprising indie rock audience, mostly for his unique songs and singing as well as his outré disco tracks. But he was also a modern classical composer, with serious Minimal cred—he’s on Jon Gibson’s Songs & Melodies 1973-1977 (see addendum), and played with Henry Flynt and Christer Hennix at one point; his indelible album of vocal and cello sparseness, World of Echo, was partially recorded at Phill Niblock’s loft and of course his Tower of Meaning LP was released on Glass’s Chatham Square label. He’s the one guy in the 70s and 80s (or after, for that matter) who connected the dots between Ali Akbar Khan, the Modern Lovers, Minimalism, and disco as different forms of trance music (taken together, both sides of his disco 12” “In the Light of the Miracle,” which total nearly a half-hour, could arguably be considered one of his Minimalist compositions). Recorded in 1977 & 1978, Instrumentals is an important signpost of the incipient Pop Minimalism impulse, and the first track is a pre-punk precursor to Rhys Chatham and Glenn Branca’s appropriations of the rock band format to pursue Minimal pathways (Chatham is one of the performers in that first piece). The rest, culled from a concert at the Kitchen, features long held tones from horns and strings and is quite graceful, if slightly undercut by Arthur’s own slightly jarring, apparently random edits. [Audika’s 2006 reissue, as part of the double CD First Thought Best Thought, includes a 1975 concert that was slated to be Instrumentals Vol. 1, which shows an even more specific pop/rock/Minimal intersection]. Zummo was a long-term collaborator of Russell’s and his album, which Arthur plays on, is a must for Russell aficionados. The first side is made up of short, plain pieces that repeat various simple intervals and are fairly hard-core Minimalism, but “Song IV,” which occupies all of side two, is like an extended, jammy take on Russell’s disco 12” “Treehouse” and has Bill Ruyle on bongos, who also played on Instrumentals as well as with Steve Reich and Jon Gibson. A recently unearthed concert at Roulette from 1985 is a further, and especially intriguing, example of Russell’s blending of Minimalism and song form. (That same year Arthur played on Elodie Lauten’s The Death of Don Juan--another record I first encountered via Tim Page’s radio show--which I included on Top Ten #3; Lauten as well as Zummo played on the Russell Roulette concert, as their website alleges).

7. Horacio Vaggione La Maquina de Cantar (Cramps, 1978): Another one-off from the late 70s, and yet more evidence of how Minimalism had really caught on as a trend among European composers of the time. Vaggione had a previous duo album with Eduardo Polonio under the name It called Viaje that was noisier electronics, and he went on to do computer music that was likewise more traditionally abstract. But on this sole effort for the Italian label Cramps, as part of their legendary Nova Musicha series, he went for full-on tonality. The title track is like the synth part of “Who Are You” extended for more than fifteen minutes and made a bit squishier; but side 2, “Ending”--already mentioned in the entry on David Rosenboom’s Brainwave Music in Top Ten #3--is my favorite. Kind of a bridge between Minimalism and prog, and a little reminiscent of David Borden’s multiple-synth counterpoint pieces, for the first ten minutes he lingers on one vaguely foreboding arpeggiated chord, then introduces a fanfare melody that repeats and builds in harmonies and countermelodies for the remainder of the piece. Great stuff, as Johnny Carson used to say.

8. Costin Miereanu Derives (Poly-Art, 1984): Miereanu is French composer coming out of musique concrete. Unlike some of the albums on these lists, both sides/pieces on Derives are superb, comprised of long drones with flurries of skittering electronic activity popping up here and there. Also notable is the presence of engineers Philip Besomes and Jean-Louis Rizet, responsible for Pôle, the great mid-70s prog double album that formed the basis of Graham Lambkin’s meta-meisterwork Amateur Doubles. I discovered this record via the old Continuo blog; Miereanu has lots of albums out, most of which I haven’t heard, but his 1975 debut Luna Cinese, another Cramps Nova Musicha item, is also estimable, although less Minimal.

9. Mikel Rouse Broken Consort Jade Tiger (Les Disques du Crepuscule, 1984): Rouse was a major New Music name in the 80s, as was Microscopic Septet saxist Philip Johnston, who plays here. Dominated by Reichian repeated fills that accentuate the odd time signatures as opposed to an underlying pulse, this will sound very familiar to anyone acquainted with Nik Bärtsch’s Ronin albums on ECM, which use the same general idea but brand it “zen funk” and cater more to the progressive jazz crowd rather than New Music fans, if we can be that anachronistic in our terminology. Jade Tiger also contrasts nicely with Wim Mertens’ more neo-Romantic contemporaneous excursions on Crepuscule. Rouse later performed the admirable (and daunting) task of cataloging Arthur Russell’s extensive tape archive for the preparation of Another Thought (Point Music, 1994)

10. Michael Nyman Decay Music (Obscure, 1976): Known for his soundtracks to Peter Greenaway films, and his still-peerless 1974 book Experimental Music: Cage and Beyond (where I, Jim O’Rourke, and doubtless many other intrepid teenage library goers learned of the Minimalists, Fluxus, AMM, and lots of other eternal avant heroes), Nyman is sometimes credited with coining the term “Minimal music” as well, in an early 70s article in The Spectator. Decay Music was produced by Brian Eno for his short-lived but wonderful Obscure label. The first side, “1-100,” was also composed for a Greenaway film, and has one hundred chords played one after another on piano, each advancing to the next once the sound has decayed from the previous chord (hence the album title). For all its delicacy and silences, you’re actually hearing three renditions superimposed on one another, which occasionally makes for some charming chordal collisions (reminiscent of the cheerfully clumsy, subversive “variations” of Pachelbel’s “Canon in D major” on Eno’s own Discreet Music, the most celebrated Obscure release). This is process music at its most fragile and incandescent. In hindsight it may have also been an unconscious influence on the structure of my piece “A New York Minute,” which lines up a month’s worth of weather reports from news radio, edited so that one day’s forecast follows its prediction from the previous day. I’ve never found the album’s other piece, “Bell Set No. 1,” to be quite as compelling, and Nyman’s other soundtrack work doesn’t hold much interest for me, but I’ve often returned to this album.

11. J Dilla Donuts (Stones Throw, 2006): One more for the road. Rightfully acclaimed as a masterpiece of instrumental hip hop, I have to confess I only discovered Donuts while reading Questlove’s 2013 book Mo’ Meta Blues, where he compared it to Terry Riley. The brevity of the tracks (31of ‘em in 44 minutes) and the lack of single-mindedness make categorizing Donuts as a Minimal album a bit of a stretch, but Questlove’s namecheck makes a whole lot of sense if you play “Don’t Cry” back to back with Riley’s proto-Plunderphonic “You’re Nogood,” and “Glazed” is the only hip hop track to ever remind me of Philip Glass. Plus the infinite-loop sequencing of the opening “Outro” and concluding “Intro” make this a statement of Eternal Music that outstrips La Monte Young and leaves any locked groove release in the proverbial dust. There isn’t the space here to really explore how extended mixes, all night disco DJ sets, etc. could be encountered in alignment with Minimalism, although I would steer the curious towards Pete Rock’s Petestrumentals (BBE, 2001), Larry Levan’s Live at the Paradise Garage (Strut, 2000), and, at the risk of being immodest, my own “The Old Victrola” from Plays Well (Crank Automotive, 2001). On a (somewhat) related note I’d also point out Rupie Edwards’ Ire Feelings Chapter and Version (Trojan, 1990) which collects 16 of the producer/performer’s 70s dub reggae tracks, all built from the exact same same rhythm track--mesmerizing, even by dub’s trippy standards. 

Addendum:

Tony Conrad: “Maybe someday Tony’s blistering late 80s piece ‘Early Minimalism’ will be released, or his fabulous harmonium soundtrack to Piero Heliczer’s early 60s film The New Jerusalem.” That was the last line of my entry on Tony’s Outside the Dream Syndicate in the first Top Ten list in 1995, and sure enough, Table of the Elements issued “Early Minimalism” as a monumental CD box set in 1997 and released that soundtrack as Joan of Arc in 2006 (it’s the same film; I saw it screened c. 1990 under the name The New Jerusalem but it’s more commonly known as Joan of Arc).  Tony releases proliferated in the last twenty years of his life, which was heartening to see; I’d particularly single out Ten Years Alive on the Infinite Plain (Superior Viaduct, 2017), which rescues a 1972 live recording of what is essentially a prototype for Outside played by Tony, Rhys Chatham, and Laurie Spiegel (Rhys has mentioned his initial disgruntlement upon hearing Outside, as it was the same piece that he had played with Tony, i.e. “Ten Years Alive,” but he found himself and Laurie replaced by Faust!) and an obscure compilation track, “DAGADAG for La Monte” (on Avanto 2006, Avanto, 2006), where he plays the pitches d, a, and g on violin, loops them over and over , and continually re-harmonizes them electronically--really one of his best pieces.

Terry Riley: The archival Riley CDs that Cortical Foundation issued in the 90s and early 00s don’t seem to be in print, but I feel they eclipse Reed Streams (reissued by Cortical as part of that series) and are crucial for fans of his early work, especially the live Poppy Nogood’s Phantom Band All Night Flight Vol. 1, an important variant on the studio take, and You’re Nogood (see Dilla entry above). These days I would also recommend Descending Moonshine Dervishes (Kuckuck, 1982/recorded 1975) over  Persian Surgery Dervishes (Shandar, 1975), which I mentioned in the original entry on Reed Streams in the first Top Ten; a lot of the harmonic material in Descending can also be heard in Terry’s dream-team 1975 meeting with Don Cherry in Köln, which has been bootlegged several times in the last few years. Finally, Steffen Schleiermacher recorded the elusive “Keyboard Study #1” (as well as “#2,” which had already seen release in a version by Germ on the BYG label and as “Untitled Organ” on Reed Streams), albeit on a programmed electronic keyboard, on the CD Keyboard Studies (MDG, 2002). As you might expect it’s a little synthetic-sounding, but it also has a weird kinetic edge (imagine the “Baba O’Riley” intro being played on a Conlon Nancarrow player piano) that’s lacking in later acoustic piano renditions recorded by Gregor Schwellenbach and Fabrizio Ottaviucci. But any of these versions is rewarding for those interested in Riley’s early output.

Henry Flynt, Charlemagne Palestine: A few of the artists on that first Top Ten list went from being sorely under-documented to having a plethora of material on the market, and Henry and Charlemagne are at the top of the heap. I stand by You Are My Everlovin, finally reissued on CD by Recorded in 2001, as Henry’s peak achievement, but I’m also partial to “Glissando,” a tense, feverish raga drone from 1979 that Recorded put out on the Glissando No. 1 CD in 2011. Charlemagne’s Four Manifestations On Six Elements double album still holds up well, as does an album of material initially recorded for it, Arpeggiated Bösendorfer and Falsetto Voice (Algha Marghen, 2017). The Strumming Music LP on Shandar is a definitive performance, and best heard as an unbroken piece on the New Tone CD reissue from 1995. Godbear (CD on Barooni, vinyl on Black Truffle), originally recorded for Glenn Branca’s Neutral label (which had also scheduled a Phill Niblock release before going belly-up), has 1987 takes of “Strumming Music” and two other massive pieces that date from the late 70s, “Timbral Assault” and “The Lower Depths”; Algha Marghen released a vintage full-length concert of the latter as a triple CD.

Steve Reich: Not a particularly rare record, but his “Variations on Winds, Strings and Keyboards,” a 1979 piece for orchestra on a 1984 LP issued by Phillips (paired with an orchestral arrangement of John Adams’ “Shaker Loops”), is often overlooked among the works from his “golden era” and I’d frankly rate it as his best orchestral piece.

Phill Niblock, Eliane Radigue: As with Henry and Charlemagne, after a slow start as “recording artists” loads of CDs by these two have appeared over the last twenty years. Phill and Eliane’s music was never best served by the vinyl format anyway—you won’t find a lackluster release by either composer, go to it.

Jon Gibson: I called “Cycles,” from Gibson’s Two Solo Pieces, “one of the ultimate organ drones on record” in the first Top Ten list, and it remains so, but Phill Niblock’s”Unmounted/Muted Noun” from 2019′s Music for Organ ought to sit right beside it. Meanwhile, Superior Viaduct’s recent Gibson double album Songs & Melodies 1973-1977 collects some great pieces from the same era as Two Solo Pieces, with players including Arthur Russell, Peter Zummo, Barbara Benary, and Julius Eastman. 

John Stevens: In Top Ten #2 I mentioned John Stevens’ presence on the first side of John Lennon & Yoko Ono’s Life With the Lions; the Stevens-led Spontaneous Music Orchestra’s For You To Share (1973) documents his performance pieces “Sustained Piece” and “If You Want to See A Vision,” where musicians and vocalists sustain tones until they run out of breath and then begin again, which result in a highly meditative and organic drone/sound environment. In my early 00′s Digger Choir performances at Issue Project Room  we did “Sustained Piece,” and Stevens’ work was a big influence on conceptualizing those concerts, where the only performers were the audience themselves. The CD reissue on Emanem from 1998 added “Peace Music,” an unreleased studio half-hour studio cut with a similar Gagaku--meets--free/modal jazz vibe. I also mentioned “Sustained Piece” in my liner notes to Natural Information Society’s Mandatory Reality too, if that helps as a point of reference.

Anthony Moore: Back in ’97 I wondered “How and why Polydor was convinced to release these albums [Pieces from the Cloudland Ballroom and Scenes from the Blue Bag] is beyond me (anyone know the story)?” That mystery was ultimately solved by Benjamin Piekut in his fascinating-even-if-you-never-listen-to-these-guys book Henry Cow: The World is A Problem (Duke University Press, 2019)—it turns out it was all Deutsche Gramophone’s idea!

Terry Jennings, Maryanne Amacher, Julius Eastman--“Three Great Minimalists With No Commercially Available Recordings” (sidebar from Minimal Top Ten list #2): Happily this no longer applies to these three, although Terry and Maryanne are still under-represented. One archival recording of Jennings and Charlotte Moorman playing a short version of “Piece for Cello and Saxophone” appeared on Moorman’s 2006 Cello Anthology CD box set on Alga Marghen, and he’s on “Terry’s Cha Cha” on that 2004 John Cale New York in the 60s Table of the Elements box too. John Tilbury recorded five of his piano pieces on Lost Daylight (Another Timbre, 2010) and Charles Curtis’ version of “Song” appears on the aforementioned Performances and Recordings 1998-2018 triple CD.

Whether or not Maryanne should really be considered a Minimalist (or a sound artist, for that matter) is, I guess, debatable, but I primarily see her as the unqualified genius of the generation of composers who emerged in the post-Cage era, and the classifications ultimately don’t matter—remember she was on those Swarm of Drones/ Throne of Drones/ Storm of Drones ambient techno comps in the 90s, and I’d call her music Gothic Industrial if it would get more people to check it out (and that might be fun to try, come to think of it). She made a belated debut with the release of the Sound Characters CD on Tzadik in 1998, an event I found significant enough to warrant pitching an interview with her to the WIRE, who agreed—it was my first piece for them. Her music was/is best experienced live (the Amacher concert I saw at the Performing Garage in 1993 is still, almost three decades later, the greatest concert I’ve ever witnessed) but that Tzadik CD is reasonably representative, and there was a sequel CD on Tzadik in 2008. More recently Blank Forms issued a live recording of her two-piano piece “Petra” (a concert I also attended, realizing when I got there that it was in the same Chelsea church where Connie Burg, Melissa Weaver and I recorded with Keiji Haino for the Gerry Miles with Keiji Haino CD).  While it’s somewhat anomalous in Amacher’s canon, making a piece for acoustic instruments available for home consumption would doubtless have been more palatable to the composer herself, who rightly felt that CDs and LPs didn’t do justice to the extraordinary psychoacoustic phenomena intrinsic to her electronic music. “Petra” is more reminiscent of Morton Feldman than anything else, with a few passages that could be deemed “minimal.” Some joker posted a 26-minute, ancient lo-fi “bootleg” (their term) recording of her “Living Sound, Patent Pending” piece from her Music for Sound-Joined Rooms installation/performance series on SoundCloud, which is a little like looking at a Xerox of a Xerox of a photo of the Taj Mahal; but you can still visit the Taj Mahal more easily than hearing this or any of Maryanne’s work in concert or in situ, so sadly, it’s better than nothing (and longer than the 7 minute edit of the piece on the Ohm: Early Gurus of Electronic Music CD from 2000).

A few years after Top Ten #2 I was on the phone with an acquaintance at New World Records, who told me he was listening to a Julius Eastman tape that they were releasing as part of a 3CD set. Say what?!?!? Unjust Malaise appeared shortly thereafter and was a revelation. Arnold Dreyblatt had sent me a live tape some time before then of an Eastman piece labeled “Gangrila”—that turned out to be “Gay Guerrilla,” and is surely one of my five favorite pieces of music in existence (the tape Arnold sent was from the 1980 Kitchen European tour and I consider it to be a more moving performance than the Chicago concert that appears on the CD, although it’s an inferior recording). The other multiple piano pieces on Unjust Malaise more than lived up to the descriptions of Eastman performances that I’d read. The somewhat berserk piano concert I mentioned in that entry seems similar to another live tape issued as The Zurich Concert (New World, 2017), and “Femenine,” a piece performed by the S.E.M. Ensemble, came out on Frozen Reeds in 2016. Eastman’s rediscovery is among the most vital and gratifying developments of recent music history--kudos must be given to Mary Jane Leach, herself a Minimalist composer, for diligently and doggedly tracking down Eastman’s recordings and archival materials and bringing them to the light of day.

The Lost Jockey—I was unaware of any releases by this group besides their Crepuscule LP until I stumbled onto a self-titled cassette from 1983 on YouTube. Like the album, the highlight is a piece by Orlando Gaugh--an all-time great Philip Glass rip-off, “Buzz Buzz Buzz Went the Honeybee,” which has the amusing added bonus of having the singers intoning the rather bizarre title phrase as opposed to Glassian solfège. Also like the album, he rest of the cassette is so-so Pop Minimalism.

Earth: Dylan Carlson keeps on keepin’ on, and while I can’t say I’ve kept up with him every step of the way, usually when I check in I’m glad I did. However I’d like to take this opportunity to humbly disavow the snarky comments about Sunn 0))) I made in this entry in Top Ten list #3. Those were a reflection of my general aversion to hype, which was surrounding them at the time, and of seeing two shows that in retrospect were unrepresentative (I was thunderstruck by a later show I saw in Mexico City in 2009). Stephen O’Malley has proven to be as genuinely curious, dedicated and passionate about drone and other experimental music as they come, and the reissue of the mind-blowing Sacred Flute Music from New Guinea on his Ideologic Organ label is a good reminder of how rooted Minimalism is in ethnic music, and how almost interchangeable certain examples of both can be. 

And while we’re in revisionist mode, let’s go full circle all the way back to the very first sentence of the introduction to the first Minimal Top Ten: “I know what you’re thinking: ECM Records, New Age, Eno ambients, NPR, Tangerine Dream. Well forget all that shit.” Hey, that stuff’s not so bad! I was probably directing that more at the experimental-phobic indie rock folks I encountered at the time, and expressing a lingering resentment towards the genre-confusion of the 80s (i.e. having dig through a bunch of Kitaro records in the New Age bins in hopes of finding Reich, Riley, or Glass; even Loren Mazzacane got tagged New Age once in a while back then, believe it or not), which probably hindered my own discovery of Minimalism. What can I say, I’m over it!

Copyright © 2020 Alan Licht. All rights reserved. Do not repost without permission.

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

23 Oct 19

WALLLLLS!!!! Louis' album is available for preorder! Genuinely actually ON SALE NOW! (It comes out Jan 31.) What a day lads. Album announcement with cover art and a track list, it's without titles but we can see that it's 12 tracks, merch- signed albums, CD vinyl and cassette plus picture disc vinyl (Donny Rovers #28 shirt graphic!) and caps as in hats as in clothing merch finalllly! The album cover was released in bits, one part of the picture here one there scattered across the web- obviously fans were quick to gather but also, some just made an end run around the whole thing and found the pre-order link without bothering to wait. Fun fact, when found the site said Oct 24 for the release date. Also a twitter account announcing the name of the album dating to way back before even the leak made itself known.

Also! What appears to be part one of a Louis interview documentary?? "Chapter 1: Reflection" was posted to YouTube, it's a 6+ minute video of Louis being interviewed by Gordon Smart (formerly of The Sun) about music and his work finding his place in the industry and it's absolutely lovely. And! Louis updated his Spotify playlist, it's back to being the 28 songs list and full of exciting new stuff. So hurry up and let all that sink in cause tomorrow we have the new song and the video plus one million signs point to tour dates dropping tomorrow: we got Live Nation and Ticketmaster and little sites getting his picture up and teasing and tweeting about him then deleting, we got the capacity built in to his site ready to go, UAs dropping shady hints.... it's happening.

That's a lot of Louis but let's just have a little SBB Roundup Corner before we totally call it quits.... Okay yes, we see the 420 behind you on the WMI cover, lol, and how about that outfit in the promo pic posted to Ticketmaster huh?? Yeah that's right blue and green track pants with a shirt that says ORGANIC and defines the word on it, wow A LOOK indeed. A new playlist means loads of lyrics to analyse, I'll leave that to you to enjoy but I would be remiss not to mention the song Laurel Wreaths being on there damn! Then the metro published some charming articles saying We Made It is about Louis visiting Eleanor at Uni and one saying that Louis was surprised to hear that Harry did shrooms since he (Louis) was the stoner in the band (if you were with them in any way up to this point this is the moment where it goes from a mild eyeroll to utterly ludicrous) and Harry had told him off for it (lolllllll) and a cut and paste typical article about Freddie, one on Zayn, etc etc. I do believe the part where he says he likes NTMY and LU and laughs at Niall for saying he's vanilla though. Moments after the articles were posted Louis hopped on Twitter to acknowledge a good interview- "Proper good to see you mate. Thanks again for doing it!" he said... with a link to the Gordon Smart video. BUUURRN!

Anyway if all that Louis news isn't enough Christmas in October for you, Liam has a song out Friday: a CHRISTMAS SONG! All I Want (For Christmas) is out in two days what the fffffff you guys!! Like apparently this is the normal time for a Christmas song drop it just feels so sudden, help. Liam recorded his Jonathan Ross show (airs Sat) today and a fan who was present tells us he spilled some serious tea which made people very anxious because Liam stuff is a little stressful lately but don't worry, they say: "it was beautiful I'm telling you I'm beaming at him." They say we'll see a clip of the Ant Middleton show. The Esquire interview is out: Liam said he hasn't seen Harry in three years prompting much sadness (and some scepticism.) "We are the only band in history that has managed to get all its members to enter as soloists in the top 10 of the Billboard. If you think about it, it’s a phenomenon," he also says and it would be though it's not exactly accurate, but the reality is phenomenal enough, and he talks about how hard he works to make his body be what he feels it should be.

We got a picture of Harry from last night! He's wearing a cute jumper that looks a lot like his tour graphics (tho I'm told those are licorices not puzzles), but the real news is he's wearing his RAINBOW FLAG PRIDE PIN bless. Beautiful. The pic was posted by the person who reported from the Jools Holland show recording last night; that show has been announced now, Harry will be on with Noel Gallagher of all people (these guys are really everywhere you turn!), Brittany Howard, an exciting queer artist who he just followed yesterday, and others. New DYKWYA posters were spotted in LA.

And seriously only a day like this could push this to the end, how the hell, Niall is confirmed for Live Lounge! Nov 7!!!! He has more content out with the Genius Official lyrics video, so if you wanna see him talk about sex and deny he has a type (mhmm) check it out. As evidence, he says the girl NTMY was about had pink in her hair and tattoos. He's excited about getting onstage at the Jingle Balls and threatens not to talk to us if we don't get tickets but we're definitely safe so far, he's out there chattering up a storm on twitter.

[whoisaditya]

A love letter to The Wombats

First, a brief background about The Wombats: The Wombats is an interesting English Indie Rock Band. They started back in 2003 in Liverpool, United Kingdom. The most interesting thing about them is how experimental they are with their albums — considering their vast range. One might think that The Wombats don’t care about what you and I think. They care about their art and what that represents. This is what makes them free to do whatever they want. Now, the album that I want to talk about is some of their earlier work. It was released back in 2007. Damn, that feels like an eternity ago. So let’s begin our journey.

The first track: Tales of Girls, Boys and Marsupials. For me, this track prepares you for what’s to come. It is a good melody and relatively simple. I’ve always enjoyed it because of how strange it is. From this, we move onto the second track.

Kill the Director. This is the song that brought me to the album, and for a long time, it was one of the most played songs for me on Spotify. When I think of this song, I think of the music video which you should watch. The song is different from the first track, and it is faster and has a lot of content. My favourite things are British pop culture references. The nods to Bridget Jones’s Diary and EastEnders make this a quintessentially British song.

Track 3: Moving to New York, this song has always been close to my heart because it is edgy. It tells us what the British think of American cities like New York. I have always had trouble understanding this song due to multiple reasons. Even right now while I’m reading the lyrics and thinking about what to write about them, I am confused. If you look at it literally, the song talks about sleeplessness and Christmas for some reason. Now, let me tell you what I feel about it. This has always been a song to which I headbang and do the air guitar. I never really understood the lyrics. I probably never will. Though, my favourite part has been these lines.

“I put one foot forward and ended up 30 yards back.

Am I losing touch, or am I just completely off the track?

And I don’t know why I want to voice this out loud.

It’s therapeutic somehow.”

Especially the line, “Am I losing touch or am I just completely off track”. Back when I first heard this song, the pandemic was at its peak. I was preparing for entrances, and life was a mess. I related to this, and I’m sure you guys will as well. This song will make you feel things and reconsider life as a whole.

Now, moving onto track 4, Lost in the Post. This is the most popular song on the album. The song sounds surprisingly happy, but when you pay attention, the lyrics are depressing. It is my kind of music because it tells us a story with a catchy chorus. The line that has stuck with me is “She Wanted Mary Poppins but I took her to King Lear”. It represents so much more than you and I can comprehend. It represents not being enough and a theme of overcompensation followed by under-compensation. Its a simple song but the Wombats have done a good job of packing it with references. It is a song about insecurities and love, the two things that are fundamental to any artist.

Track 5: Party in a Forest(Where’s Laura?). Laura, oh, Laura. I will never truly understand this song. Is it a love letter to Laura or is it a desperate man singing for a girl who will never love him back? Throughout the song, he keeps calling out to Laura, but there’s no response. By the end of it, it seems like he has almost given up. Maybe I’m just reading too much into music, or perhaps this boy is writing songs about a gender he doesn’t understand.

Track 6 is something most of us can relate to. Titled “Schools Uniform”, it is literally from the perspective of a teenage boy going through puberty. It is not the typical “Oh. I miss school” song, but maybe a more realistic approach to what school was. Those uniforms, which most of us claim to miss, perhaps made a joke of us. He sings about a girl he likes and who he used to be friends with, but now she has an older boyfriend. The most important thing about this song is how teens romanticise/think that smoking is cool. It’s the whole trope of doing something because someone else is doing it. After all, someone has deemed it cool. The song does an excellent job of talking about how teenagers try their best to fit in to get the validation they so desperately want. This is generally executed by doing things that most of the time is not good for them, and here ends track 6.

Moving on to track 7, the song I’m most excited to write about. Here Comes the Anxiety is the epitome of a cry for help. It is probably the most painful to listen to because it doesn’t even hide that it is sad. I have to give it credit for being honest about its message. In a messed up way, this taught me how to be honest about myself. The song starts by calling out what I think is all music where creators hide the real message behind catchy hooks and other techniques. The essence of the song is hypocritical; it has a catchy hook line(It is literally in the title). The song is just lying to you; it tries to sell an honest image, but it is not. Don’t get me wrong, it is a good song, but it is just like everything else. It is a dark song like it claims to be. It is a song about a lonely man who doesn’t want to be alone, and that’s about it for track 7.

Let’s Dance to Joy Division is one of my favourite songs. So, I have a sort of personal bias towards it. It is happy and real but also quite sad. The lines

“Everything is going wrong but we’re so happy” perfectly captures the essence of this kind of music. It is happy music, so don’t question it. You don’t need to be comfortable while listening to it, maybe sing along and pretend that your life isn’t going to shit. My interpretation of this song is, you shouldn’t question life while it is happening. If something has to go wrong, it probably will, so why even worry about it. Just be happy and maybe play this on a loop.

Track 9 is Backfire at the Disco. It describes a heterosexual first date. A guy gets ready at 8 pm, meets the girl and then gets slapped. The story is pretty straightforward. The guy makes a move at the wrong time. The girl slaps him in response and has to go back home alone at 3 am. What’s important to me isn’t the story but how it’s told. The song starts with how everything is fine and how it is all going okay. It sounds like the girl is in the wrong and that we should feel bad for the guy. The song gets pretty misogynistic when he calls her dress whorish. To give him some credit, he does admit his mistake by the end, but then it is too late, and the narrative has been set. This victimisation of the perpetrator is extremely harmful. It creates a story that men don’t know what to do and how it is an honest mistake. This message is toxic, and anyone listening to this should keep this in mind.

Little Miss Pipedream describes a toxic one-sided relationship. The song is comparatively slower-paced, where the stress is on the lyrics. The song expects us to feel sympathy for this man who is madly in love with this girl. The protagonist is portrayed as a friendly guy who is willing to wait for this girl. This man has selfish ideas of love, and he’s trying to convince the listeners to sympathise with him. These ideas are selfish because they are all based around him. Lyrics like, “Don’t leave miss pipedream cause I love you.” is an example of what is incorrect with this song. Pop culture has often romanticised these ideas and portrayed these men as heroes.

Track 11 is about a therapist named Dr Susan. It is clear that Dr Susan is treating and is prescribing him narcotics. He is infatuated with her and is willing to do anything for her. This is clearly some toxic behaviour. The singer keeps repeating “This Time” which means that he has done this before. The most concerning thing is “Help Me Help Help Me, Susan”. We can see a theme where he asks for help but no one gives it to him and there ends track 11.

Track 12 is about loving a woman who doesn’t want to be loved. The singer has fallen in love with a stripper and is willing to do anything to be with her. His behaviour indicates that he has lost track of reality. In his head, his actions are part of a grander love story but it is psychotic behaviour. This is ironic cause the last song was about a therapist. He clearly knows what he is doing is wrong but he still continues to do so. This entire song does a good job of showing a messed up, toxic relationship between a desperate man and a stripper.

The story of Track 13 is set at the wedding of the protagonist’s ex-girlfriend. It does something unusual by portraying alcoholic tendencies at a wedding. The lyrics make it clear that he still has some feelings for his ex-girlfriend. I don’t know where the blame lies on this one because of the conflicting narratives. The repetition of the line, “She’s not that beautiful” shows us his hatred towards the bride and how our emotions are more complex than they seem. One would assume that after all this time he wouldn’t resent his old partner but he does. This is because humans are complicated and irrational and there’s nothing we can do about it. This also shows how when we are with someone everything seems romantic but when they leave we criticise all their actions. To conclude, the song is quite entertaining and definitely worth listening to.

If you have read this until now and not skimmed as most people will, you must be thinking that all these songs sound somewhat similar. It’s a simple boy loves girl plot which is portrayed in multiple different settings. Before I started writing this, I thought that I would have something unique to write about each song, but I don’t. As I moved on from track to track, I realised that most of these are about the same thing. Does this mean the songs are not great? No, of course not, they are amazing. Each track is unique and has a storyline, the music is good, and that’s why people enjoy it. Music is subjective, and at the end of the day, my opinion means jackshit. Yeah, enjoy the music; I hope what I wrote made you think and introspect about the music you listen to.

[newmusickarl]

2021 has been relentless with great new music so far this year, with each Friday drop bringing with it at least two or three incredible new releases worth checking out. However, that still didn’t quite prepare me for this last week which has probably been the best New Music Friday of the year so far. An avalanche of new releases, including (at least as I haven’t got round to everything yet!) five incredible albums, each offering different sounds to fit different moods. Because of this and because I can’t choose a favourite from these records yet, there is no Album of the Week – instead here are the five albums and two tracks from the last seven days that you should make the time to listen to and discover:

Album & EP Recommendations

Carnage by Nick Cave & Warren Ellis

“This morning is amazing and so are you…” – Balcony Man

Surprise! Out of nowhere, the legendary Nick Cave and his partner in crime from the Bad Seeds Warren Ellis have today dropped their lockdown collaboration album - Carnage. And although I have only managed one listen through at the time of writing, just like his last two records, this one is really something special.

If there was any artist who you would pick to really capture the mood of lockdown and turn it into something magical, it would be Nick Cave. On his last record Ghosteen, one of my Albums of the Year for 2019, Cave & Ellis continued through their journey of despair which originally begun on 2016’s Skeleton Tree, ultimately finding a glimmer of hope at the end of it all. Carnage by comparison arrives almost as a halfway house thematically of these two previous efforts, carrying the hopelessness of Skeleton Tree rooted in real life events, along with the fantastical stories and tinge of optimism displayed on Ghosteen.

Because of this, Carnage is arguably more accessible than those two records, with Cave & Ellis seemingly dancing in the melancholy of the apocalypse across the album’s eight tracks. Sonically however it is vastly different, with the understated piano-driven melodies replaced with grand, operatic instrumentation built predominantly on strings, that move effortlessly from the menacing to the stirring at the drop of a hat.

Although I still need to stew on this record a bit more, the ominous prance of Old Time, the gorgeous guitar and choral chants of the title track and the beautifully restrained closer Balcony Man are standing out as the early highlights.

Cave himself summed up Carnage perfectly in his release statement, calling it “a brutal but very beautiful record nested in a communal catastrophe.” This is Cave and Ellis waltzing majestically in amongst the chaos, taking the listener into the eye of the storm and presenting them with something quite glorious at the centre of it all.

Terra Firma by Tash Sultana

Elsewhere, Australian multi-instrumentalist Tash Sultana released her much-anticipated sophomore album this week, Terra Firma. Contrary to Cave & Ellis’ record, Sultana delivers a peaceful escape from the global situation, delivering a record that is very personal and reflective.

Soulful and richly textured, there are plenty of career-best moments here including the acoustic-driven cooing of Crop Circles, the gorgeous Josh Cashman collaboration Dream My Life Away and the record’s transcendent finale, I Am Free. However, it is the album’s centrepiece Coma that delivers arguably Sultana’s best song to date, a beautifully constructed track about letting go, that culminates in a wonderfully bluesy guitar solo.

At 60 minutes long, Terra Firma feels like a meditative experience – an album to sit and bask in to get some much needed relaxation and introspection away from the lockdown grind. This is another special album, one I’ve returned to numerous times this week and can see me continuing to do so over the course of the year too.

As Love Continues by Mogwai

At this point, ten albums and 26 years into their career, people just about know what to expect from Scottish post-rockers Mogwai, and that is soaring, grandiose instrumentals. However somehow with each new release, the band still manage to amaze, taking their instrumentals into unchartered territory and leaving listeners in wonder with their colourful, breath-taking soundscapes.

For me, As Love Continues is one of their best releases for years (with some of their best song names too). From cathartic opener To the Bin My Friend, Tonight We Vacate The Earth, the acid-drenched industrial sounds of Here We, Here We, Here We Go Forever, and the dreamy, looping guitar riff and euphoric crescendo of Pat Stains, Mogwai’s touch for forging fascinating sonic textures hasn’t missed a beat. That said, it is the one track that contains clean vocals that stands out amongst the pack, and that is the emotional gut punch of Ritchie Sacramento which sees frontman Stuart Braithwaite paying a beautiful tribute to all his musician friends that have passed over the years.

This is definitely one of my favourite recent Mogwai records, and one of my favourite releases by anybody this year so far – an essential listen.

Trauma Factory by nothing,nowhere

When you’re ready for a change of pace after indulging in the albums above, then the fantastic fourth record from American prodigy Joe Mulherin under his nothing,nowhere guise is the place to go. Mulherin has always been known for his edgy blend of hip-hop, R&B, pop punk and emo, with this crossover of genres helping him to forge a sound that feels very much his own, with many trying to replicate since and ultimately failing.

Now on Trauma Factory, Mulherin sets himself for world domination with arguably his most commercial collection of tracks to date, certainly from a melody standpoint at least if not lyrically. From ambient groove lights (4444), the laidback, slackerpop of upside down, the anthemic chorus of pretend, the infectiously catchy KennyHoopla collaboration blood, and the straight-up pop punk of nightmare, Trauma Factory feels stadium-ready, almost playing out like a nothing,nowhere greatest hits collection.

However as big and chart friendly as this one feels at times, there are still plenty of riskier moments too, such as the bold, heavy riffs and aggressive vocals of death, a track which is nicely contrasted by the vulnerability of one like real, an album highlight which sees Joe confess his own pressures and anxieties in a haunting spoken word number.

All in all, this a wonderfully eclectic album that perfectly showcases Mulherin’s growing confidence as a songwriter and artist. This was by far my most highly anticipated album heading into this week, and although I am yet to decide if this is overall Mulherin’s finest release to date, there is no doubt that this a highly enjoyable 40 minute listen, packed in with plenty of career best tracks.

Non-Fiction by Spector

And finally this week on the album front, legendary indie rockers Spector have released a new 13 track collection called Non-Fiction, a culmination of all their independent EPs and singles released since their last full length album Moth Boys in 2015 (their last to be released on Fiction records, hence the title of this one, aha!). That album was actually my Album of the Year in 2015 and, despite not being an official studio album, Non-Fiction resonates with me the same way that album did six years ago.

One of the great differentiators Spector have always had over other British guitar bands for me is enigmatic frontman Fred Macpherson, with his witty humour and razor-sharp songwriting completely unmatched by any of his peers. On Non-Fiction, his unique brand of lyricism is out in full force with this collection featuring some of the very best songs Spector have ever written. From the brilliant “We broke down on the M1, they said to call the AA but I didn’t know which one” line in opener Untitled in D, through to the “More M&S than S&M, two can dine for news at ten, voucher for my requiem, now I’m one of them” verse in album highlight When Did We Get So Normal?, Macpherson doesn’t waste a single word.

Steered by Macpherson’s astute, observational lyricism, Spector serve up huge singalong indie anthems that have no reason to be this poetic and wonderfully crafted. Again, an album that features plenty of career highs including Fine Not Fine, Wild Guess, Tenner and Half Life to name but a few, Non-Fiction, despite being independently made, feels every bit as special as its predecessor Moth Boys did. Ultimately if you’re after rousing indie anthems this week, you’ll struggle to find anything better.

Tracks of the Week

The Last Man On Earth by Wolf Alice

Onto tracks then and Wolf Alice made their triumphant return this week, debuting the first taste of their forthcoming album Blue Weekend. An unexpected first single choice, The Last Man On Earth is a haunting piano ballad built around Ellie Rowsell’s powerfully haunting vocals, which eventually erupts into a glorious haze of soaring guitars. Welcome back!

Paranoid by Keir

And my final recommendation this week is the anthemic new single from singer-songwriter Keir. Ever since the release of his song Squeeze Me years ago, Keir has been an artist I always thought should be dominating radio stations across the country. Although he’s not achieved that feat just yet, Paranoid may be the track to change all that with its instantly catchy chorus, glorious choral backing and masterful production. One of the best pop songs of the year so far.

[maliby]

Aperture (M) | kth

↬ Pairing: fan/photographer!Taehyung x idol!Reader ↬ Story Genre:smut, slowburn ↬ Warnings in this chapter: explicit language, explicit sex scene, spanking, hair pulling, biting. ↬ Word count: 9.6K ↬ Summary: You met Taehyung at a fansign and you knew right away that he was trouble, are you willing to risk it all for a fan?

It has been 3 years since you debuted in a 4 member girl group along with Bo, Serena and Nari. The group is called Aperture, the name being taken from the ‘aperture’ - the part of a camera where the light passes through to capture the picture. That particular name was chosen because you wished to act like an ‘aperture’ to your fans and capture all the moments in life in your songs, letting your fans relate to you through their experiences.

You were the lead rapper, lead dancer and the oldest of the group. Bo was the leader, main vocal and visual of the group due to her big puppy eyes and pouty lips, Serena was the lead vocal and main dancer, and Nari was the maknae and main rapper.

Your group had had a rough beginning (due to not having that much success) but that all changed with the last album you had released - ‘Light and Dark’. The album had darker and more seductive tones than your previous girly concepts, your group and your company feeling like you should change up all your concepts to try and catch the eye of the public.

The title track for this album was called ‘Boudoir’, which is a lady’s bedroom but can also be a type of photography to value feminine beauty, usually done in said bedroom. The song basically talks about how women should value their beauty and shouldn’t be scared of being sexy.

The MV was one of the most daring ever made in the kpop world. It had 6 different scenes: 1 individual scene for each member, and 2 choreo shots. Serena was in a bathtub with pink water, Nari was laying on a black fluffy rug, Bo was sitting on a red couch and you were on a bed with red silk sheets and wearing black lacy lingerie. The choreo shots were filmed in 2 different sets: one where fake rain would pour on you guys, and the other with lots of fire surrounding you.

You liked the change of direction your group took, but you were a little scared that people would find your whole new concept too much, however to your surprise your popularity skyrocketed. You even managed to get your first win on music show programs, along with 2 other wins.

The demand for your group started to get bigger and bigger, with variety shows, fan signs and events and even your very first big concert in Seoul. You and your members were so excited that day that you even cried during the concert, making your makeup artist very angry.

After having that first concert in a big venue your fan signs also moved to bigger venues, due to bigger demand. It was at one of those fansigns that you first saw him - Taehyung. You were the last member in the line and you were busy signing the album of a very sweet girl when Nari, who was right next to you, whispered in your ear: “look at the hottie that’s about to come in.” You looked at the line of fans and saw him standing there, waiting for his turn to meet you guys. When your eyes met his you felt like he had stolen all the air in the room from you. His dark chocolate eyes connected with yours, pulling you in, his light brown fluffy hair making you want to run your fingers through it, the chest peeking through his white unbuttoned shirt making you want to commit the sweetest sin of them all. You had a personal rule of not dating fans but he was so mouthwatering that he seriously made you want to break every rule in existence.

“Eonnie I love you so much, you’re my bias! Can you please sign my album?” The voice of one of your fans said, waking you up from whatever trance state he had put you in.

“Of course sweetie, what’s your name?” You tried to give her your whole attention, but you couldn’t help but glance at him as he made his way to your bandmate Bo, the first in the line.

“Minji.”

As you signed your photocard and all of your photos from the photo album for Minji, you couldn’t help but feel an extra pair of eyes staring at you. Fans came and went yet the only thing you could focus on was the growing tension as he got closer to you.

He was now in front of Nari (who was right next to you), you knew because not only were you taking a peek every once in a while but also because Nari made sure to warn you by insistently tapping your leg under the table.

You couldn’t help but feel bad for the fan you were currently with because you couldn’t pay attention to her once so ever. It was like you were acting on auto-pilot: your exterior was smiling and talking to her, but your brain just kept reminding you of how close to you he was, making you look even more forward to talk to him.

“Bye sweetie, good luck on your exams!” You said your goodbyes to your fan and drank a little water to refresh your body as you waited for Nari to finish signing his album. When she said her goodbyes to him and he made his way to you you felt your heart beating a little faster, the moment you had been waiting for for the past 10 minutes finally arriving.

“Hi.” His deep voice made you curse at the heavens for making this much more harder for you. How was it fair for him to look like that and, on top of that, have that panty-melter voice?

“Hi! What’s your name?” You were smiling so much your cheeks were starting to hurt.

“I’m Taehyung,” he said smoothly as he gave you his album for you to sign.

“Hi Taehyung! I’m Y/N,” as soon as you realised what you had just said it was already too late, he was already laughing and your cheeks were already burning in embarrassment.

“I know, you’re my bias.”

If your cheeks were red before then now they must be like a tomato. You hadn’t even thought of who his bias was, but now that he made sure to tell you you were his favourite you couldn’t contain your excitement.

“Thank you so much for choosing me as your bias Taehyung,” you said as you signed his album.

“Well, if I’m being honest I didn’t choose you. You were the one who stole my attention and I had no chance but to give it to you.” His tone now was different, a touch of darkness lacing his words.

You didn’t know how to respond to him, so you simply chuckled and looked back to his album, making sure you were signing the right place.

“If you don’t mind I wanted you to sign two more things,” he added.

“Sure, what is it?”

“Well, one is your photocard and the other is a photo I took of you at your concert,” he said as he reached for his back pocket for the photos.

“You took a photo of me? Oh, let me see!” You didn’t know what you were expecting, but when he showed you the photo and you saw its level of quality you were completely shook. Not only was it obvious that he had used a very high-quality camera, but the pose he had captured you in, was a very intimate one. You knew that your choreo was very erotic, and truth be told, when you were on stage and the music was on you just felt so sexy that you’d completely let go, but seeing one of those moments where you were crouching on the floor with your legs open, hands running up your body and head tilt backwards captured by him made you feel like he had seen you naked - not that you would’ve minded.

“It’s one of my favourite photos of you, you look so free, empowered and sexy like there’s no one else on that stage.” When you were finally able to take your eyes away from the photo and look at him you swore you could feel your panties getting wet; he had this dominating stare like he wished for nothing more than to take you right there and then despite the sea of people present.

“T-this is a great photo Taehyung, are you a professional photographer?” You tried to distract yourself from his presence by continuing to sign his stuff, but you feared there was no going back now.

“Well, I’m a freelance photographer and I have my own website, but I also like to take photos of things that captivate me during my free time, and that’s how I started a fan page of you.”

“You have a fan page of me? What’s it called?” You had thought he was just a casual fan, but the fact that he had a fan page of you where he posted all the photos he took of you told you that there was a very high chance that you would see him again.

“y/nmymuse.”

Your heart beat faster once more as the words ‘my muse’ ringed in your head. All you could do was look at that stupid handsome smirk he had on his face while you sat there speechless.

“Y/N, I know he is super hot but you need to hurry up, you’re holding up the line,” Nari said in a hushed tone so only you could hear.

“Sorry Taehyung, but we need to move along because the line is getting big,” you picked up his signed belongings and handed them to him, “thanks for liking me so much and taking wonderful pictures of me.”

“You deserve all the attention in the world.” When you thought he couldn’t make you blush any further, he took your right hand and pressed his soft lips to it. “Until we meet again,” and that’s when he turned around and left, leaving you completely dumbfounded.

“What was that?” Nari whispered in your ear. “We’ll talk after the fan sign, now it’s best if you get back to signing or the manager is gonna be pissed at you eonnie.”

It had been a month since you’d seen Taehyung in person. You felt like he was plaguing your mind, every time you had a schedule with fans you hoped he would be there, but much to your disappointment he never showed.

After that fansign, you went searching for his fan page and weren’t that surprised to see that he had thousands of followers. The photos he shared on his page though weren’t as provocative as the one he had asked you to sign which, may you add, you couldn’t find anywhere, making you wonder if he had grown to dislike the photo.

You found that his page was like a dark hole that you couldn’t really get out of; you found yourself scrolling for hours watching his photos and reading his descriptions: ‘she looked like an angel in that white dress’, ‘the way she is smiling brightens up my day’, ‘the most beautiful girl in the world’, and so on. It got to the point where your members had to take away your phone and send you to sleep.

You wondered several times if you should send him a private message but the thought that someone might read it or that he might spread it around and start a rumour scared you to no end. The truth of the matter was that you didn’t know him and you couldn’t risk your career and your member’s careers like that, it was too dangerous.

Aperture was getting ready to have your first Asia Tour with 4 big concerts: Seoul, Bangkok, Manila and Tokyo. You were so excited about your first big tour but also a bit scared; would people come to your concerts? Would people from other countries also love you? These were the kind of thoughts that kept plaguing your mind, but there was another that kept popping up every once in a while. Was Taehyung gonna come? Would you be able to spot him in a crowd? To be honest, you didn’t expect him to follow you around for the whole tour, you just wished he would come to the Seoul concert.

Thankfully for you, you didn’t have a lot of time to let those thoughts consume you, not with the amount of time you’ve been spending on practising and getting everything as perfect as you can.

“Girls are you all ready?”, one of the staff said as you were all fixing up your mics to go on stage and kick off your tour.

“Yes,” your leader Bo said as she turned to all of you and put her arms around yours and Nari’s shoulders, signalling all of you to form a circle. “Okay girls, this is our first stop in the tour and I just want to say how proud I am of us for getting here. I know you are going to do great because I saw how hard you all practised and how bad you want to give a good performance for our fans, but remember that if you end up failing it’s okay, mistakes happen to the best of the best; just remember to get back on your feet and keep the show going, and remember that I love all of you. Ready? 1,2,3, Aperture!” You all joined her on your chant and group hugged before you went on stage to the roaring crowd.

The concert went by in a flash. When you noticed it, you were already on your last song (which was a party song to get everyone moving) and you were walking around the stage to greet as many fans as possible.

You had already searched the crowd to see if you could find Taehyung but had failed to do so. Thinking he had missed this concert you stopped your searches and fully focused on your performances. Since you had given up on the idea of seeing him tonight the feeling of surprise that came over you when you spotted him in the crowd with a smile on his face and his camera pointed at you was immense.

You had just finished giving a concert to thousands of people, yet you suddenly felt shy just by noticing his presence. You smiled at him, you couldn’t help it, he was just so damn...ugh, you couldn’t even explain it, he just brought all these feelings to the surface.

You noticed you had probably been staring at him for a long time now so, wanting to avoid the suspicion of fans and the rise of rumours, you quickly waved in his general direction and moved along waving to other fans before you and your group said your goodbyes, thanked the fans and left the stage.

After the concert, you had a hi-touch event with the fans which you were so excited for because you wanted to see him again, even if it was for just a few seconds. For you, it felt like the roles were reversed like he was the idol and you were the fan wanting to have a chance to be close to him and touch him.

You stood in line with your members, plastered a smile on your face and stuck your hand out to greet the fans passing by. You were the first one in line this time, eager to be the first one to greet him.

Faces started to blur together as time went by, fan after fan after fan but there was no sign of him. As soon as you thought he wasn’t going to show up your eyes met with his and time seemed to stop.

“Hello,” his voice was as deep as you had remembered.

When his hand touched yours you felt a tingling sensation that dissipated up your arm and made your heart beat faster.

“Hi,” you managed to respond before he was being pushed by the fan behind him.

You tried your best to give all of your attention to your other fans, but you just couldn’t help but exchange glances with him until he eventually was out of the room.

The faces of the fans passing by you started once more blending all together. You became so lost in thought that if one of the fans was naked you probably wouldn’t even notice it.

When the event was over and you got home you went to take a shower and went to bed; as you snuggled in the comfort of your blankets you took your phone and went to check if he had already uploaded any new photos to his fansite. The website had no new updates, so you kept on refreshing it until, eventually, the photos started to appear. His usual comments had you already smiling like a fool, but there was one photo that caught your attention: it was a photo of the moment you noticed him and were looking straight at him with a smile on your face. When you looked at his comment though, that’s when your heart completely stopped: ‘All the stars in the sky are nothing compared to the ones in your eyes.’

You read that sentence over and over and it never felt like you’ve had enough, your heart feeling warm with the joy. Were you crossing into dangerous territory? Was this crush you were developing good for you or your career? Yes, he was hot as fuck but you knew nothing about him. What if he was a sasaeng? What if he was going to hurt you or take advantage of you in some way? The truth was you had no way of knowing without going closer to him and finding out, the question was: were you willing to take the risk?

The second stop on your tour was Bangkok, in Thailand. This was your first time in Thailand (in fact it was your first time anywhere besides South Korea) and you were so happy to be able to share the experience with your members and fans but one part of you kept thinking about Taehyung. You wished you could see him at the concert but you were conscious that he probably couldn’t afford it.

You spent your entire concert looking out for him but to no avail. You even thought that maybe, just maybe, he’d be at the hi-touch event but it seemed like luck wasn’t on your side.

“Eonnie are you alright? You didn’t seem well during the concert today,” your leader and roommate Bo asked as you both went to your shared hotel room.

“I’m sorry Bo…” the first thing you did as you entered the room was to sit on the bed and check his fansite to see if, by any chance, he had really come but couldn’t afford the hi-touch, but the lack of new updates confirmed his absence.

“You know you can talk to me,” she sat next to you and rubbed your back in a comforting manner. You knew she wasn’t just talking as the leader that is worried about how your disposition may affect your performance and, consequently, the group’s performance but also as your friend and ‘mom of the group’ that is concerned about your well being.

“You remember that guy from the fansign before the tour that kissed my hand?” You locked your phone and threw it to the fluffy pillows that decorated your bed.

“That extremely attractive one? Yeah, how could I forget?” She had a dreamy expression on her face as she remembered his very attractive features before realization dawned on her, “wait, you’re not messing around with him, are you? Did he hurt you?”

“No,” you chuckled at the way she had rolled up her sleeves like she was ready to kick some ass. “It’s complicated...at the fansign he told me that he had a fansite dedicated to me where he posted pictures of me, so I started stalking him and reading everything he wrote about me and I kind of developed a crush on him.

I saw him at the concert in Seoul and then at the Hi-Touch, and then I kept thinking that maybe he would be here today, even though I know it would be highly unlikely, but still…” you looked down at your hands, a little scared of looking at her reaction. You knew she would always support you, but you also knew that this situation was dangerous.

“Eonnie, I know this is complicated for you and I totally trust your judgement and know that you would never do anything to put our carriers on the line, but you need to be careful.” Her voice was soft like she was talking to you with all the care in the world.

“I know Bo...I know the risk...but he doesn’t seem like the type.”

“Well, he wasn’t here tonight so I guess he’s clear of the sasaeng title,” she joked, trying to cheer you up.

“Fuuuuuck, why does he have to be so freaking hot? Like, he could be a fucking idol with those looks. I bet he could sing like a goat and people would still buy his albums,” you sighed loudly and let your upper body fall on the bed.

“Oh sis, you got it bad,” she rubbed your knee noticing the level of despair you were in.

“You have no idea.”

“Well we have 2 options here: either he makes you go crazy or you can make him go crazy, if you know what I mean,” the way she was wiggling her eyebrows let you know exactly what she had meant.

“That’s great and all, but how do you suggest I do that? I can’t give him my phone number nor can I DM him ‘cause it might somehow go public.”

“Hmm...maybe you could share one of his photos on our Twitter and thank him. That would show him that you are paying attention to him and maybe things will unfold from there.”

“That is a great idea actually! Thanks, Bo!” You got up and pressed your lips on her chubby cheeks.

“You’re welcome. Now go and take a shower, you stink!” She pinched her nose and frowned her face in disgust.

“Alright my leader,” you saluted her as if you were a mere soldier taking her orders.

You thought long hard about the photo situation, should you just log on to your group Twitter account right now and share his photo? Or should you wait for a time where he comes to the concert again? On one hand, if you waited for him to post new photos of the concert it would look less suspicious because you would be sharing new photos, but on the other hand, you didn’t know when he was going to go to a concert again and you might lose the moment.

“Fuck it,” a sudden wave of courage passed through your body and made you just grab the phone and take action. You went to his page and saved the picture where you were looking straight at him and smiling, then went to your group’s Twitter page and posted it.

Aperture @aperture_official I’m in love with this photo from our concert in Seoul! Thank you so much @y/nmymuse <3 #Y/N #Iloveitsomuch #Ihavethebestfans

Bo was already sleeping in the bed next to yours, but you just couldn’t fall asleep. Your mind kept spinning around wondering if he had seen the post or replied to it, and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to sleep until you checked your phone again, so you took your phone from the charger and logged on to Twitter, went to his page and checked if he had responded. When you spotted his username right at the top of the responses you felt a wave of happiness washing over you.

Y/N is my muse @y/nmymuse @aperture_official thank you for being my inspiration, I wish I could take pictures of you all day.

Your heart was beating frantically while your mind ran wild with thoughts of him photographing you; it all started with simple and innocent photographs he would take of you at concerts and then suddenly you were both alone in a hotel room and he was photographing you in lingerie doing inappropriate poses.

The scenario created by your mind was making you hot all over and soon enough your hand was travelling south and slipping under your underwear. You looked to the side and called for your roommate to check if she was still sleeping, when you got nothing but snoring as an answer you started rubbing your clit.

The pleasure emanating from between your legs only served to fuel your fantasy further: you both were now completely nude and he was on top of you leaving kisses all over. You were starting to pant now, a soft ‘Taehyung’ leaving your lips, so you turned on your belly and muffled your mouth with your pillow so to not wake up Bo.

Your imagination grew wilder and wilder having Taehyung do all kinds of dirty things to you, but it wasn’t until he bottomed out inside of you completely raw that you dipped your fingers inside of you, a pool of arousal leaking out.

Your fingers were nothing compared to the real deal, you could only imagine, but this was all you had right now. You wanted to feel his lips, you wanted to feel his touch, you wanted to feel his hard cock inside you, you wanted to hear him say your name, fuck you wanted all of that and so much.

The pleasure was building up, and soon enough you were cumming so hard that you had to bite down your pillow so Bo wouldn’t wake up.

As soon as your heart calmed down you got up and went to the bathroom to clean yourself up. You looked in the mirror and saw how much of a mess you were in: your hair was all over the place, your nipples were poking through your shirt and your panties were completely soaked. If Taehyung hadn’t even laid a finger on you and you looked like this, how the hell would you look if he had? All you knew was that you just had to have a taste of him and you weren’t going to give up until you did.

The third stop of your tour was in Manilla, in the Philippines. You weren’t expecting him to be here, since he hadn’t gone to your concert in Bangkok, but you had decided that you weren’t gonna let that bring you down - you were gonna go on that stage and give the best you could to your fans.

For the tour, all the four members had created a solo stage (yours was dancing to a choreo you made for the song ‘Partition’ from Beyoncé) which allowed the other members to rest a bit in between and get ready for other performances.

As Serena was on stage doing her cover of ‘Love On The Brain’ by Rihanna you and your members got your makeup touched up, Bo and Nari for your group performance later on and you for your solo stage, which was the last of the four solos.

“Eonnie you won’t guess who I saw in the crowd during my stage,” Nari grabbed your arm to get your attention.

“Who?” You were genuinely curious, as you were in a foreign country and didn’t know anyone there and neither did she.

“That hot guy from the fansign. What was his name?”

“Taehyung,” Bo responded, a smirk splattered all over her face.

“Oh my god, are you sure that was him? How do you even remember his face?” Your makeup artist had finished working on you, so you got near the maknae as if pressuring her to answer faster.

“Eonnie, you think I’d forget a face like that? Absolutely no way.”

“Where was he? I didn’t see him during our group performances.” You were going to perform as soon as Serena was done, so you wanted to know his exact location so you could give him the best show possible.

“You know that bald security guy? He’s right next to him, in the first rows. He’s wearing a black shirt.” Her makeup artist had also finished working on her, so she went to sit on the couch next to Bo who was also all ready.

“Oooooh I know that look on your face eonnie, you’re going to give him a special show?” Bo said in a teasing tone, her eyebrows wiggling.

“I’m offended that you think I’d have favourite fans. I love all my fans the same and I give my best performance every time for all of them,” you placed your hand on your chest to give a dramatic effect to your statement.

“Mhmm,” Nari and Bo hummed in unison. “I’ll just pretend like you don’t want to give him a lap dance,” Bo added, as she flipped through a magazine.

“Y/N-ssi, you’re up in 1 minute,” a member from the staff who came in a rush to get you said.

“Girls, keep your eyes on the screen and watch how eonnie does it,” you flipped your hair and turned to leave for the stage.

“Make him drool eonnie!” Bo yelled just before you left the room.

“Make who drool?” Serena asked when she joined you all backstage, the staff immediately running to her to change her clothes and fix her hair and makeup.

“Nothing baby, see you later girls!” You blew a kiss to your members and made your way to the stage.

The choreo started with you sitting on a chair with your back to the crowd and the stage in total darkness. When the lights came back on you got off from the chair and turned to the audience, you couldn’t spot him at first but when your choreo required you to move a little bit forward to the edge of the stage you almost instantly locked eyes with him.

The choreo had become like second nature to you at this point and you were glad for it because if you had to rely on memory with him looking at you like that you’d completely embarrass yourself on stage.

You were moving your body with precision, throwing the sexiest expressions you could make and exaggerating the already sexy moves. You wanted to impress him; you knew that he was your fan, and therefore liked you, but you wanted to go that extra mile, you wanted to make him go absolutely crazy.

Right now it was like there was no one else at the venue, it was just you and him. He was down there admiring you and capturing your movements and you were up on the stage casting your spell of seduction.

You were so involved in the moment that you even decided to end the choreo a little different from the usual: you turned your back to him and did a middle split, looking back to look at him while biting your lip. He went completely crazy - you knew this because not only were his hands clutching his camera harder but he was also biting his lower lip so strongly that you thought he might start bleeding.

You couldn’t wait to see the pictures he had taken just now but more importantly, you couldn’t wait to read what he had to say about them. You could only imagine the type of thirsty ass comments he’d have to give you, and they were already making you hot and bothered.

Needless to say, you were on fire for the rest of the concert, his presence alone was giving you so much energy that you were making all of your fans scream loudly.

“Y/N what the hell has gotten into you today? Whatever it is, keep it up, you completely brought the house down tonight!” Your manager joined you backstage as you were getting ready for the hi-touch.

“Nothing has gotten into her...yet,” Bo said low enough so only you and she could hear it. Her teasing statement earning her a smack on the arm by you.

“Shut up Bo!” You whispered back to her as your manager turned around to get a bottle of water.

“Well girls, it’s time for the hi-touch. Come on, come on, I want big smiles on those faces!” Your manager was now gathering you all on a line and pushing you to go meet your fans.

When you got there you saw that the line was already formed, and after taking a better look you saw him standing like 10 people in. Suddenly you were nervous as all these crazy scenarios that would never happen crossed your mind.

“There’s your boyfriend eonnie,” Nari whispered as you all stuck out your hands to start greeting your fans.

“Yeah, I see him.” This time you were the last in line so you would have to wait a tiny bit more to touch him.

Since he was fairly in front of the line it wasn’t long until he was passing by your members and making his way to you. Anticipation was building and your heart only beat faster as the distance between you shortened.

The soft touch of his hands was a big contrast to the hard and intense look he had on his face. You wanted to talk to him but you couldn’t even say that simple ‘hello’ you were so used to saying to your fans at these events. The tension in the air was so thick that you could cut it with a knife; you could actually feel electricity being conducted from his body to yours, it was all so intense that you wondered if anyone else could feel it.

“See you in Tokyo,” he said right before he turned around and left, giving you no time to process his words.

You were left stunned, your brain spinning around with possibilities. He was going to go to Tokyo, there was no question about that, but the way he said it, with his deep and lustful voice, made you think that something else was going to happen. You didn’t know exactly what, but you knew that it was going to be fucking amazing.

As soon as you entered your shared hotel room with Bo you dropped your bag on the floor and sat at the edge of the bed, instantly pulling out your phone from the pocket of your jacket to go check out Taehyung’s page.

“Did he upload anything yet?” Bo said as she sat right next to you. She was so excited that she spent the whole car ride to the hotel telling you all about how he kept looking at you during your final performances and even when he was high-fiving all the other members in the hi-touch.

“Wait…” you opened up Twitter and clicked the search bar but you didn’t even need to type because Twitter immediately suggested his page due to you searching him so much. When you opened his page the pictures were already there, but the ones from your special improv from your solo stage were nowhere to be seen. “Huh, he didn’t post them…”

“Post what eonnie?”

“That improv move I did during my solo, I was sure he was taking pictures but he didn’t post them. Maybe they were crap?” You were feeling a bit down because you were so fucking excited to read his thoughts on the view you had provided him (and all the other people) but he didn’t publish the photos.

“Sweetie, I can guarantee you that even the lowest quality photo of that pose you did is high quality for anyone, especially him,” she started rubbing soothing circles on your back to make you feel better.

“Then why didn’t he post them?”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself in Tokyo?” Bo winked at you as if her question wasn’t on the nose enough.

“What?”

“Listen, this guy has been after you since he brought his sexy ass to that fan sign. He came all the way to Manilla after you posted his picture of you and now he made sure to tell you that he was also going to be in Tokyo. Now, you, him and I all know that after Tokyo it’s going to be a while before you’ll be able to see him like this so you’re gonna have to do something if you want him.”

She was right, you had to do something. You knew it was a difficult situation but you just had to try, you just had to have him. “You’re right. But what should I do? It’s not like I can stand on that stage and say ‘Taehyung if you wanna tap this come backstage’.”

“Don’t worry eonnie, I have a plan.”

You had always dreamed of going to Tokyo since you were a little girl; you wanted to go eat sushi, see the cherry blossoms and watch the view from the Tokyo Tower but now you had another thing to add to your list: be with Taehyung.

Bo refused to tell you what her plan for you and Taehyung was, a fact that scared the hell out of you because who knew what the hell she was cooking? The only thing she told you was to do your thing normally and she would take care of the rest. So you did as she said and performed as usual, always paying attention to Taehyun in the crowd.

Now, you were standing in the line for the hi-touch and you were feeling nervous. This was probably the last chance you were going to have to get to him, so whatever plan Bo had come up with she’d have to do it now.

You turned to your left to look at Bo and see if she’d tell you anything that would ease your mind. She saw your worried face and grabbed your arm to calm you down, “don’t worry eonnie, everything is in motion. Just stand there looking pretty and don’t let him leave right away.”

“What?” Before she could explain what she meant the line of fans started moving forward and you all stuck your hands out for them to greet.

This time Taehyung only showed up about halfway through the event, making you a bit nervous and wondering if he’d show up or not. Once again you were the last one in line, the order being Nari, Serena, Bo and you, so when he greeted Nari Bo turned to you and winked.

When he got to you he fully stopped, a smile grew on his lips and a look a full adoration was shown as he stared right at you. Before he could say anything you heard screaming from your left and noticed that Serena had fallen to the floor.

“Oh my god, Serena are you okay?”

A crowd of people was starting to form around her, all of them wanting to know if she was alright but as soon as you got closer to her you felt Bo grab your arm.

“Give this to him,” she said in a hushed voice so only you and she could hear. When you looked down you noticed that there was a piece of folded paper in her hand.

“What? But Serena-”

“Serena is fine, she’s faking it so you have an opportunity to bang him.”

“Oh, okay...What is this then?” You opened up the paper and saw an address written down.

“It’s the hotel room where you’re gonna meet in, now give that to him before I kick your ass.”

Bo might be a sweet person, but if she threatened to kick your ass she’d most definitely do it, so you got near Taehyung (who was also checking to see if Serena was okay) and discreetly handed him the piece of paper.

“What’s this?” He did as you had previously and unfolded the piece of paper, reading what was on it.

“Meet me there at 11 PM.” The smirk on his lips made you want to just grab his hand and run away with him to the hotel room. “Oh, and bring your camera,” you suddenly remembered the fantasy you had the other night and you just couldn’t let the opportunity pass.

“See you there then.” Everything about him right now was full of sinful promises: his smile, his voice, his eyes, his scent - everything.

“See ya.” You were completely spellbound by him, even as you stood there watching him leave. You just kept imagining everything you wanted to do to him and everything you wanted him to do to you.

Your schedules were over at 9 PM, so that gave you enough time to take a shower and go buy some condoms and some fancy lingerie (because you had to show him the best).

You arrived at the suite Bo had booked for you about half an hour before the time you had told Taehyung to set everything up; this could very well just be a one-time thing, but damn it did you want it to be fucking perfect.

The suite was breathtaking: it was located on the 48th floor so it had a beautiful panoramic view of the city, including the Tokyo Tower, which you could easily see due to the big ass windows that went from the roof to the floor; it had a white king size bed that was on top of a black platform; it had a big living room right next to the bedroom, separated by traditional white Shoji doors and a bathroom that had a big ass bathtub. Bo must have spent a fortune just so you could get laid in style and you made a mental note to give her a nice thank you gift.

You were feeling nervous. You thought of a hundred possibilities of how everything would go down but all the thinking was just making you more stressed, so you decided to open up the bottle of wine you had brought in your bag and watch some TV in the living room to distract yourself until he arrived.

It wasn’t long until you heard the knock on the door - your heart beating hard with excitement. You turned off the TV, checked yourself up on the big mirror behind the sofa, adjusting the cleavage on your tight black dress, and made your way to the door.

When you opened the door and looked at him you felt like there was no more air left in the room for you to breathe. His soft hair was a bit messy like he had been running his fingers through it in nervousness but he looked so confident and assured like he was coming to get what he wanted and no one could stop him.

“Hi,” he said first, making the usual butterflies his voice made you feel appear in your stomach.

“Hi,” it was hard for you to respond since you were so distracted admiring the bit of skin he had exposed by unbuttoning 3 buttons off of his white dress shirt.

“I brought wine, but I see you’re already served,” he lifted the hand that was carrying the bottle showing you said bottle.

“I see we both thought of the same thing.” You noticed he was checking your body out and that made you 10 times more confident.

“Yeah, we did.” Silence filled the air as tension grew and you looked at each other.

“Come on in Taehyung,” you finally said.

You locked the door, just to be sure, and went to meet him in the living room where he was putting the bottle of wine and a black bag that, incredibly enough, you only noticed he was wearing until now.

“What’s that?” You asked while pointing at the bag.

“It’s the camera you asked me to bring.” He started to unzip the bag and remove his Canon that you were so used to seeing him with. For a moment you had totally forgotten you had requested him that so when he mentioned it the plans you had made for tonight immediately surfaced in your head.

“And what’s that?” You pointed inside the bag, noticing another camera inside.

“Oh, it’s a Polaroid camera I brought just in case, girls always like those ones.” He took it out and handed it to you. You waited a bit and as soon as he got distracted checking his other camera you took a picture of him, the paper immediately coming out from the machine.

“Hey, that’s not fair. I wasn’t ready!”

“How is that not fair? You take pictures of me all the time and I can’t have a picture of you?” You shook the paper so the photo would reveal faster, and when the image appeared you couldn’t help but stare in adoration.

“Fine, you can have the picture. But only because it’s you.”

Time stopped. Everything stopped. It scared you how much power he was starting to have over you, like one look and he could have you on your knees. One sentence and he’d have you weak. You wanted to kiss him, you wanted to feel his lips pressed against yours and his hands running up your body. You wanted to go all the way, and you wanted to do it now, but you knew that if you gave in to the sweet brown-haired temptation in front of you that you wouldn’t be able to stop and you wouldn’t be able to fulfil your fantasy and give him the surprise you had prepared, so you decided to just get it out of the way.

“Taehyung, the reason why I asked you to bring your camera was because I wanted to give you a little surprise.”

“A surprise?” He was intrigued by your statement, the frowning of his eyebrows making him look extra cute.

“On Twitter, you said you wished you could take pictures of me all day, so…” you placed the Polaroid on top of the table and started to take off your dress so you’d be just in your recently bought lingerie. You kept your eyes on him as he watched you undress - he was totally awestruck admiring your body. “I want you to photograph me, like this.”

Your dress fell to the floor and you stood there in your sexy lingerie like a mannequin on display for him. His eyes were running along every inch of your body and the way he was biting his bottom lip was making you weak, an urgent need to jump on him and claim that lip as your own was emerging from within.

“Are you sure about this?”

The fact that he even asked made you feel much more at ease and erased all the little doubts you had before about pursuing one of your fans.

“Yes.”

“Get on that bed then.”

He didn’t even have to ask you twice, he could command you to go rob a bank with that tone of voice and you would do it - that’s the power he had over you and your body.

At first, he maintained a little distance from you and the poses you were making came off a little shy, but as you looked at him through the lens and started to connect to him you started to get even more daring with your poses.

At some point, you felt like moving things along so you took off your bra and threw it to his feet. His whole body tensed up, his jaw was locked and his eyes burned with an intensity of a thousand suns.

He came closer and closer until he was on top of you with the camera pointing straight down at you. The intimate shots he was taking reminded you of the ones he had taken of you during your solo and never published and you just couldn’t help but ask about them.

“Why did you never publish them?”

“Publish what?”

“The photos you took of my improv during my solo. I did that move just for you and I wanted to see the pictures but you never posted them,” he slowly lowered the camera, allowing you to see him smiling at your confession.

“I didn’t want to post them.”

“Why? Were they bad? Did I not look good?” All the worries you had about those photos suddenly came flooding in.

“What? No.” Seeing your insecurities and doubts taking over he put the camera down on the bed and placed his hand on your cheek in a tender gesture. “You looked absolutely perfect, as you always do.” His face was getting closer to yours and you couldn’t help but admire that face constructed by the Gods up close. “The reason why I didn’t publish those photos was because I didn’t want to share them with anybody else; I wanted to be the only one seeing you like that, I wanted to have you all to myself.”

His words were making all your blood rush down south, wetness starting to ruin the only piece of clothing you had on. “Well...here I am.”

In 2 seconds his lips were on yours and you knew right then and there that you instantly got hooked. It all went so smooth, it seemed like his lips knew every little way yours moved, like you had kissed a thousand times before - only you hadn’t.

Soon enough his boner started pressing down on your abdomen, a sign of his desire for you. His lips started moving lower until they were marking your exposed breasts.

“Taehyung…” you moaned as he sucked on your right nipple while pinching your left one.

“Fuck, my name sounds even better coming out of those lips then I could ever have imagined,” his hand slipped between your bodies and under your panties to tease you even more. “You’re so fucking wet baby, moan my name one more time,” he inserted one of his long fingers inside of you, giving you no choice but to abide to his request.

“Taehyung...”

“You’re so fucking tight, look at that pussy just swallowing my whole finger. You have no idea how many times I beat my cock to your photos,” he added another finger and started pumping harder and harder. “I would imagine how tight you were in real life, how well you would take me,” when you were about to cum he removed his fingers and shoved them in his mouth so he could suck your juices, “hmmm, how sweet you would taste.”

“Taehyung…” you moaned once more, his words acting as gas to your fire.

“What is it baby?” His lips attached once more to your skin, this time taking their sweet sweet time on your neck.

“I want you,” you whined.

“I know baby, I want you too, more than anything, believe me, but first,” he started to strip down naked, freeing his cock from the cotton prison that was his underwear, “I need your pretty lips around my cock. Can you do that for me?”

His hand was on your chin, bringing you closer and closer to his lips.

“Yes,” you kissed him slowly and passionately as you reached for his boner, the contact making him groan.

You turned him around so he was laying down on the bed at your complete mercy. You lowered your head and started giving little kitty licks on tip of his dick, the teasing act making him protest. “Fuck baby, don’t tease.”

You complied and practically swallowed his dick whole, his hands instinctively grabbing you by your hair and pushing you as further down as possible. You were choking and had spit running down your chin, but you were in pure bliss due to the sounds of pleasure he was making.

“Fuck yeah baby, you’re doing so well. Look at you taking all my dick in your mouth like that.”

When you started to feel your lungs burning from the lack of air you emerged back up from between his legs to recuperate your breath and then dived back in, this time to properly suck the shit out of him.

You were so into it, bobbing your head up and down and fondling his balls that you felt like you couldn’t stop. It wasn’t until he grabbed your head to make you stop that you came into your own.

“I’d love to cum in your beautiful mouth, but tonight I really wanna fuck you as soon as possible, and I can’t do that if you keep on sucking me like that.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t control myself,” you said as you wiped the extra spit off of your chin with your hand.

“You make me go crazy on a daily basis, but when you say stuff like that...I just can’t control myself.” He was back to kissing you, but this time it was all more raw and needy.

He turned you around so you were now the one laying on the bed and he was the one on top of you. All of your body was burning with anticipation and you really couldn’t wait any second longer for him to just pound you into the mattress.

“Grab the condoms,” you said in a breathy tone.

He moved to reach the bedside table, where you had placed the condoms previously to his arrival, took out one and placed it on his swollen cock.

He got back on top of you and started rubbing his tip up and down your folds before entering you completely. He looked at you in the eyes as he felt your walls clenching around him, both of you taking in the pleasure caused by each other's bodies.

“Fuck…you feel so good baby,” he started leaving a trail of kisses from your ear to your neck as he slowly moved inside of you.

“Tae-” he didn’t even let you finish moaning his name before he was picking up his speed and almost drilling into you.

“This cunt is mine now, do you understand?” His voice was almost animalistic, like he was truly marking his territory.

“Yes,” you moaned.

“You are mine,” he grabbed your right boob and bit you on your neck.

“Fuck, yes.”

Your answer fueled him even more, his hand immediately reaching for your clit and making you scream.

“Cum,” and like you were obeying his commands you instantly came hard, his name spilling out of your mouth like a mantra.

“You look so beautiful like this, coming undone on my cock,” Taehyung slowed down and helped you ride out your orgasm.

“Now get on your knees and let me see that sexy ass baby,” he said as he removed himself from inside you.

“Yes sir,” you joked as you obeyed, yet again, to one of his commands.

You turned around and got on your knees, sticking your ass up in the air for him (quickly earning yourself a hard spank on the ass).

“I swear you were carved by the gods, look at that ass,” you felt another spank, this time on your other ass cheek, which turned you on so much that you were able to feel your arousal sliding down your pussy. “How much wetter can you become? You’re like a fucking faucet, just spilling those delicious juices for me,” it was then that you felt him spread your ass cheeks and give you a big ass lick from the bottom to the top, making you shiver from the sensitivity of your recent orgasm.

“Ohh fuck…that feels so good.”

He then stuck his fingers back inside of you, pumping them in and out until you were screaming in pleasure once again in your second orgasm of the night.

“Fuck, I think I’m addicted to making you cum.” He stuck his dick back inside of you and, without giving you time to recover, started fucking you at full speed.

You couldn’t even think straight anymore, you were so completely lost in pleasure that the only thing that mattered to you was the good dicking you were getting. “Taehyung I’m not gonna last long.”

Taehyung pulls you by your hair so your bodies could meet and latches his mouth to your neck once more. “You can cum baby, I got you.”

You didn’t last much longer, spiralling down on your third and last orgasm of the night that also triggered Taehyung’s orgasm, the both of you cumming almost in unison.

Both of you fell on the bed panting from the mind-blowing sex you just had. When you opened up your eyes you noticed Taehyung was staring at you with a fond look on his face, “you’re so fucking beautiful,” he said.

“Tae…” you were completely blushing, as if you hadn’t just shared the most intimate moment two people can share.

“It’s true,” he gave you a sweet kiss on the lips and then got up to go to the bathroom and get cleaned up.

You almost instantly fell asleep (the concert you had had and the sex taking a toll on your body) only to be woken up moments later by the sound of a camera taking a picture.

“What are you doing?” You turned around and saw Taehyung with the Polaroid camera in one hand and the photo he had just taken in the other.

“Getting inspired by my muse,” he said with a proud smile on his face.

“Let me see that,” you got up from the bed and took the picture away from him to properly inspect it. You had never seen your ass like this, but you had to admit that it did look pretty good.

“So?”  He asked.

“It’s amazing, maybe we should schedule again to take more,” you said with a teasing tone.

“I’d love that,” he got closer to you and kissed you, his soft lips making your heart race once more, but definitely not for the last time.