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gellavonhamster · 6 years

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sugar bowl generation headcanons

Beatrice

short and delicate-looking but actually very strong and Sporty™

knew Olaf since early childhood and often visited his family home. She never liked his parents that much but she was still conflicted and extremely upset when she was tasked with killing them

the girl everyone (with a few exceptions, Olaf first and foremost) wants either to be or to be with

had a penchant for writing very witty and biting epigrams about the people she disliked

the first time she slept with Bertrand was after that very night at the opera. They were both confused and miserable and wanted someone to hold them but neither of them thought themselves a good enough person to deserve someone innocent, someone who doesn't know what they did, to hold them, and then it just... happened. She was still dating Lemony at the time.

Bertrand

had blond hair (Sunny takes after him), wore glasses (I guess it could be said that Klaus takes after him)

mostly worked in the theatre as a stagehand, building sets and props, but occasionally took part in performances too, usually filling in for one actor or another

kept in touch with Theodora after finishing his apprenticeship

used to sing while cooking dinner

the nicest, politest person you'll ever meet but could also obliterate you with a couple of words (usually preferred not to)

didn’t really like Beatrice that much before they started working together on the poison darts mission - thought her to be too pretentious and loud

Lemony

tried growing a moustache as an experiment once and it was Terrible

has always been rather chubby; sometimes it bothers him but only because it means he can't always squeeze through a hole in the fence/a porthole/etc. when in need of escape

used to play the accordion for his friends at the parties

has a quite beautiful singing voice but usually is embarrassed to sing (Beatrice was usually successful at persuading him to do it though)

tried to hate Bertrand at first and failed spectacularly and was mad at himself because of that

since Stain'd-by-the-Sea, has killed in self-defence in a fight a couple of times but has never murdered anyone anymore like he murdered Hangfire

once dreamed of reforming VFD (actual volunteering instead of kidnapping, no more separating children from their families and so on) but by the time of after The End, when the organization is completely in shambles and many volunteers (for example, R) believe that now is the perfect time to rebuild it basically from scratch, he does not want to be part of this anymore - partly because most of the volunteers (except for, again, R, and some other people) now see him as a traitor for exposing so much VFD secrets, and partly because he'd rather spend his time helping his niece find the Baudelaires

rest of the squad under read more because this post got out of control

Jacques

had always been considered attractive by everyone (despite the unibrow)

the "I'm not mad, I'm disappointed" kind of guy

usually the designated driver at parties

learned to drive at the age of, like, ten, but insisted on getting a real driving licence when he got old enough for this. As a result, had a legal licence and a bunch of fake ones for VFD missions

usually carried a small photo camera with him

prior to "recruitment" he befriended Jerome and managed to stay friends with him throughout their lives even though they could not meet as often as they both would've loved to. Had always suspected that Jerome is in love with him; loved him back but knew that being involved with anyone from VFD would be too dangerous for Jerome who, despite many good qualities that Jacques loved about him, was not a fighter at all. Tried to fill the void with various on-and-off relationships with other volunteers, such as Olivia and Frank, but never really got over Jerome

Kit

liked wearing men's clothes and strict/business women's clothes

usually kept her hair in a bun or a ponytail but every time she let it down everyone noticed how beautiful it was

very good at physics and engineering

Lemony didn't know it but she kept in touch with Ellington after their escape from the prisoner wagon. They were always on the verge of romantic relationship but avoided it because E, naturally, did not want to have anything to do with VFD, while K couldn't imagine her life without it

was a heavy smoker but quit after finding out she's expecting

her pregnancy was absolutely unplanned but she decided to keep the baby for a number of reasons, such as that she might not be able to get pregnant later due to her age and that there was actually no time and/or opportunity for her to have an abortion safely

Olaf

had dyslexia (hence problems with spelling but being good at anagrams). Sometimes asked Kit to read him books out loud

his relationship with his parents has never been that great; what devastated him the most was not so much their sudden death (though it was undoubtedly shocking) as the fact that his friends (and, for all their conflicts, he still considered Beatrice his best friend) betrayed him

his propensity for alcohol is partly genetic - his father didn't drink too often, but when he did, he went on long drinking sprees

used to dress like a greaser in his youth - leather jackets, dark sunglasses, all that jazz

sometimes when he (tol) and Beatrice (smol) would stand next to each other, he would put his elbow or his chin on top of her head; it annoyed her extremely

had a crush on Josephine in his early teenage years but she rejected him quite brutally. That old grudge was part of the reason why his plan of getting her out of the way included seducing her

Esme

has never been recruited by VFD - she just befriended Beatrice and Olaf and, being nosy, soon started to find out more and more about VFD. They thought her a potentially useful associate so eventually she became quite closely involved with the organization

her parents were rich, bought her whatever she wanted, and made sure she got a good education but never really cared about her that much or showed her love. In other words, her childhood was very much like Carmelita's

used to shoplift (makeup, jewellery, similar small objects) for fun as a teen

actually really good at math and finances

she wasn't the one who burned down the Baudelaire mansion, and she cried with rage when she found out Beatrice was dead. She wanted revenge and now she couldn't have it - it was almost as if even in death B did everything she could to do her dirty one last time

survived the hotel fire but was arrested a short time after for a variety of crimes she committed together with Olaf. Nevertheless, managed to get acquitted on all charges and became an even more popular celebrity because of the media coverage of her trial. Many years later, already after her death, a Chicago-like musical about her life was staged. It was wildly inaccurate and romanticized her and her relationship with Olaf to no end, but the public loved it. The adult Beatrice Baudelaire II, being a true niece of her uncle, wrote a scorching review of it, but it didn't really alter anyone's opinion.

her mother was French Canadian and her father was Black Canadian

doesn't like cigarettes but occasionally smokes her late dad's pipe

her mother was not a member of VFD but still an associate and agreed to let her daughter be taken in return for them aiding her in politics. Because of her mother’s connection to VFD, R was allowed to spend much more time with her family than other young recruits ever had a chance to

she and Lemony were already close friends by the time they both realized they're in love with Beatrice, and they resolved not to let this ruin their friendship. For some time, they both courted B, waiting for her to decide whom she likes best. When B chose L, R felt quite miserable but managed to let go of her feelings as time passed. She never forgot Beatrice, but she's had multiple relationships after her

there was a brief period when her family thought she and Lemony were dating, which they found both awkward and hilarious. They've never felt anything but friendship towards each other. On several occasions they fell asleep in one bed and never found anything weird about it

after the hotel fire and the almost complete collapse of VFD, she is leading the fraction that believes that the organization's ways should be changed (see the last point in hcs about Lemony above)

Monty

used to send his friends postcards from his travels, making sure to code the messages and the return addresses

gave names to each and every animal living under his care. For example, his Virginian Wolfsnake was called Mrs. Dalloway

had his iconic snaketache (snake moustache) since he was like 19

loved gestures of platonic affection but was always careful not to kiss or hug people who do not like being touched

was the reason many VFD gents realized they weren’t straight (”ok, it’s Monty, everyone is lowkey crushing on Monty... wait, he’s a guy tho”)

has killed more than once and aided in even more murders by providing poisons to his associates. Wasn’t proud of it and often wondered if there was another way. Actually carried a lot of sadness inside him but always tried to mask it with jokes and persuade himself to be optimistic

Josephine

good at boxing, fencing, swimming, arm wrestling... like, Beatrice was Sporty™, but Josephine was the Sportiest™

also good at dances like boogie-woogie and swing

had a wonderful infectious laughter :’)

to ask her out, Ike sent her a letter with some mistakes, she started correcting them automatically and realized that the wrong letters formed the phrase “I like you”. She found it clever and cute, and went on a date with him

I feel like I’ve seen this idea somewhere before but I can’t recall where... anyway... she was more interested in descriptive grammar and the development of language before losing Ike but then started to concentrate on prescriptive grammar because she subconsciously sought something stable and predictable in her shattered life

Widdershins

claims that Melville is his favourite writer but hasn’t actually read anything by him apart from Moby-Dick. His associates quickly found it out by dropping references to Billy Budd, Bartleby, the Scrivener, and other Melville’s works

there was a time when he kept borrowing money from his friends (usually small sums to buy cigarettes or beer or something) and returning it months later or never at all. It became a subject for many inside jokes within his friend circle. Is this point inspired by Netflix? Yes, it is

I blame this post for giving me the headcanon that he and Monty had a short-lived but passionate affair in their youth, which they both recalled fondly later

survived the Great Unknown but was badly wounded (including losing his leg... yeah, I’m sneaking in another Moby-Dick reference, why the hell not). That and the fear of running into the Great Unknown once more prevented him from ever going to sea again. He found it difficult to adapt to life on land, feeling himself useless without his submarine, took up drinking and would’ve become an alcoholic it wasn’t for his stepchildren and Hector controlling him

Hector

he’s the H on the Anwhistle branch of the family tree in TUA, but not an Anwhistle by blood. His parents were family friends who died when he was a baby, and the Anwhistle parents adopted him

his parents were Mexican, and he tried to reconnect with his heritage by researching traditions and culture and literature. All the Mexican dishes he cooks he learned to cook by himself

apart from hot air balloons, can fly and work with dirigibles and other aerostats

witnessed many terrible things, including gruesome deaths of several associates, and begged the higher-ranking firefighters to transfer him to some quieter position. They could see clearly that he wasn’t fit for dangerous tasks anymore, and he got relocated to the Village of Fowl Devotees. As the organization became increasingly scattered, whatever he was supposed to be in charge with was forgotten, and so was he

after TVV he keeps seeing Jacques in his nightmares, dying again and again and reminding how H failed him and the Baudelaires

part of my headcanon about him, the Quagmires, and the Widdershins sticking together after surviving the Great Unknown is H and W having a relationship that’s like 50% “why you. Out of all my associates I’m left with you and I never even really liked you, WHY” and 50% doing household chores together in comfortable silence. At some point they start referring to the triplets, Fiona, and Fernald collectively as “our children” and neither remembers who started it

Olivia

had two sisters - M(iranda) and N; by the time of TCC hasn’t seen either of them in years

loved wearing lots of jewellery - big dangly earrings, bracelets, rings

owned a Tarot card pack that belonged to her grandmother

good at engineering and working with various machines

she and Jacques had sex a number of times and she would’ve loved for it to turn into a more serious relationship but she knew that deep down he loved someone else

The Denouements

Frank was born first, then Ernest, and Dewey was the last

D faked his death when he was about 16 because the VFD higher-ups ordered the Denouements to make sure the firestarters believed there were only two of them now. He volunteered, knowing that his brothers were better at running the hotel and working with people, a decision he came to regret later

D fell in love with Kit when she was still dating Olaf. They didn’t become a couple until a year or two before the events of ASOUE

F was Jacques’s another occasional bedfellow. In contrast to Olivia, he never showed how much he really cared about J (and he cared much more than he would’ve preferred to)

E met Fernald a number of times before ASOUE and often flirted with him in a way of “if you’re up for it, I’m in”. He pitied the young man because he knew Olaf would hardly ever return Fernald’s feelings

both F and E liked D more than each other and had a “I wish you were dead instead” moment after his death. After losing their hotel to the fire, they wanted to go their separate ways but soon understood they still need each other. They moved to a European country called Zubrovka to work in the famous hotel there

The Sebalds

Gustav was 2-3 years older than Sally

when they were kids, they used to write plays and put them on at the family gatherings using their toys and handmade sets. One of such gatherings was visited by a distant relative who was in VFD. Some days later, they were “recruited”

all of Gustav’s films are incredibly low-budget and fastly made and all his friends have starred in at least one of them because it usually went like... Headquarters: we need a film with this and that secret message to be shown at this and that cinema in five days. Gustav, mass texting his friends: guys who’s free this weekend, I have another movie to make

Gustav and Monty were dating

Sally dated R at some point (Monty introduced her to R)

after The End Sally, like R, is one of those volunteers who advocate for reforming the organization and dropping its old ways

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porphyrophiliac · 7 years

Note

i dare u to answer every single question

o h(well here we go)

1.Who was the last person you held hands with?my ex

2. Are you outgoing or shy?a bit of both?? like, it completely depends on the environment; i’ve been in the same music class for 2 years and i only spoke to the person who sat next to me for the entirety of that year for the first time today, but i was on a residential at the national film school with 64 other people and i sought out and had a full conversation with each and every one of them

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?my boyfriend!!

4. Are you easy to get along with?i hope so? i think people get along with me if they’re respectful, bc if they aren’t i don’t particularly try to get along with them

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?i feel like max would yeah fdsahjfbasd

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?who the fuck even knows, i just go with the current gfdbhjsgd

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?i think so c:

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?my boyfriend max fggfdgkfdhsngfndkghjs

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?uhhh, it depends on who with? and whether or not it’s personal experience, bc i can talk about it as a concept but my own experiences are reserved for people i’m in relationships with and extremely close friends

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?my boyfriend hgfhdg (look i am Not that sociable)

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?“i love you too, max!” (can u tell that i lov my bf)

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?What THe Fuck Is A Song Who Even Music What the F

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?yES

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?my bf is a miracle

15. What good thing happened this summer?i got into a relationship last summer! with my bf! who i love!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?no.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?i mean, like, probably

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?i do not

19. Do you like bubble baths?dude who doesn’t

20. Do you like your neighbors?what the fuck is a neighbour

21. What are you bad habits?existing

22. Where would you like to travel?canada, to see my bf dasfbjhskfdagsh

23. Do you have trust issues?yea

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?talking to my bf, or maybe sleeping

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?the part that’s, uh. the bit that’s like, covered in skin? all of it? yeah, all of it

26. What do you do when you wake up?think about my bf and then go back to sleep dfshjbak

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?i wouldn’t mind being a bit paler??

28. Who are you most comfortable around?my bf dfbhkjasfhas

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?nah, i don’t think so

30. Do you ever want to get married?i think so!

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?nah dfhbjsakf

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?what the fuck is a celebrity

33. Spell your name with your chin.swam

34. Do you play sports? What sports?WHAT THE FUCK IS A SPORT

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?dont do this to me

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?i have only told like, two people i ever liked that i did

37. What do you say during awkward silences?nothing

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?uhh, he’s about 5′3″, shaped like a friend, has a cute canadian accent & short hair, a Real Soft Boy, likes cartoons and makes great art and is v kissable. not that u could ever find a guy that perfect in the real world oh wait i dID HE’S MY BOYFRIEND AND I LOVE HIM

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?if it sells fizzy drinks and chocolate, i’m satisfied

40. What do you want to do after high school?sleep

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?absolutely not. or, like, i think people deserve a second chance, but that doesn’t mean you personally have to give it to them. they can find it somewhere else

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?that im tired, usually

43. Do you smile at strangers?if they’re pretty sometimes

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?trip to canada

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?my alarm

46. What are you paranoid about?everything

47. Have you ever been high?almost

48. Have you ever been drunk?yea

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?i don’t think so?

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?mint green

51. Ever wished you were someone else?all the time

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?id like to have boobs

53. Favourite makeup brand?uhhhhhhhhhhh

54. Favourite store?uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

55. Favourite blog?@maxjo

56. Favourite colour?pink!

57. Favourite food? pasta!

58. Last thing you ate?a croissant, its the only thing i ate today fdbhasjkfbdasfha

59. First thing you ate this morning?a croissant, its still the only thing i ate today

60. Ever won a competition? For what?being the Worst fshbkadnlsat i was one of 12 cinematographers under 19 from across the UK chosen for a specialist residential at the national film school, does that count??

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?nope

62. Been arrested? For what?nope

63. Ever been in love? yep!

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?nope

65. Are you hungry right now?always

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?my tumblr friends are my real friends and i love all of them

67. Facebook or Twitter?facebook

68. Twitter or Tumblr?tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?nah

70. Names of your bestfriends? max (obvs), fearghal, sarah, takeshi, dovydas

71. Craving something? What?love and affection frm my bf dfabhsjk

72. What colour are your towels?purple!

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?four!

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?i have a teddy named max dfbhkajdnkf (hes a soft boi)

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?A Lot

75. Favourite animal?hedgehogs

76. What colour is your underwear?my pyjama bottoms are blue, i’m not wearing underwear currently bc of that

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?chocolate, no hesitation

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?either chocolate or mint chocolate :00

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?light grey! it has pokemon on it

80. What colour pants?blue

81. Favourite tv show?uhhhhhhhhhhh

82. Favourite movie?uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (im a film student i know too many)

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?haven’t seen either

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?haven’t seen either

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?haven’t seen it

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?bruce!

87. First person you talked to today?i have no idea

88. Last person you talked to today?my boyfriend fdsajbhkf

89. Name a person you hate?this one asshole from my school who i won’t name here

90. Name a person you love?max dfhaskjbfsfnasd

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?me

92. In a fight with someone?me

93. How many sweatpants do you have?none :00

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?at least 11

95. Last movie you watched?Moon

96. Favourite actress?i don’t rly have one fbfjhkgsd

97. Favourite actor?i don’t really have one gdfhdfkbjfssfdghkdjs

98. Do you tan a lot?a little

99. Have any pets?i have a cat :000

100. How are you feeling?tired gdhgdfk

101. Do you type fast?yea

102. Do you regret anything from your past?yea

103. Can you spell well?yeas

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?yea

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?no

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?maybe??

107. Have you ever been on a horse?no

108. What should you be doing?sleeping fgsdhbkjFSD

109. Is something irritating you right now?me

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?MAX

111. Do you have trust issues?see question 23

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?uhhhhh???? who knows, i cry a lot gfgfhkdjsnjglsdf

113. What was your childhood nickname?I Dont Wanna Get Into That

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?yea :00

115. Do you play the Wii?i used to??

116. Are you listening to music right now?nah

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?nah

118. Do you like Chinese food?not rly gfsdjkhfg

119. Favourite book?The Book of Lost Things, by john connolly

120. Are you afraid of the dark?yes fdashbkjfasdf

121. Are you mean?if people are mean to me, yeah

122. Is cheating ever okay?absolutely not

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?nope fbhasdjkfadsfas

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?yes, i’m certain that it happens all the time

125. Do you believe in true love?i think so c:

126. Are you currently bored?nope fdsjabhfkdsf

127. What makes you happy?my bf fhadskbjsad

128. Would you change your name?i already have once, but if i found something i liked more maybe??

129. What your zodiac sign?aries

130. Do you like subway?nah

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?reject them but stay friends

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?still my bf

133. Favourite lyrics right now?If there’s a line I’ll cross it,No lesson will I learn;Even if I’m standing on itNo bridge that I won’t burn

134. Can you count to one million?i didn’t get a D in maths for nothing

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?for 17 years i tried to convince people i was a guy

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?CLOSED, WHY THE FUCK WOUDL YOU HAVE THEAM OPNE JOH MYG OD

137. How tall are you?6′1″

138. Curly or Straight hair?curly

139. Brunette or Blonde?brunette

140. Summer or Winter?summer

141. Night or Day?night

142. Favourite month?july

143. Are you a vegetarian?nah

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?milk

145. Tea or Coffee?coffe dfhbksjafads

146. Was today a good day?i guess?

147. Mars or Snickers?mars

148. What’s your favourite quote?’coffe burns’

149. Do you believe in ghosts?who even knows

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line‘mattered. I had all these plans about getting in and reprogramming’

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