#like he was accusing the guard of metagaming

[notreallyuseless]

I like seeing the oblivious smile of whoever POV i'm watching while Etoiles is in the background complaining about anything and everything in french. They can't understand a word he's saying. But i do. And he's bitching about something. It's just so funny.

[doedipus]

LP D&D: The Road to Neverwinter

I’m not sure how much JP does this with the other players characters, but there have been a couple times where he’s taken Connie’s backstory and ran with it. I don’t have a huge problem with it, but I guess if Connie starts seeming a bit mary-sue-ish whenever her backstory comes up, it probably has more to do with JP’s tastes in narrative than mine. In our current place in the campaign, we’re probably going to start running into Coy’s backstory soon, so it’ll be interesting to see if it ends up being a touch grandiose as well.

Content under the break.

Zerander has never flown before, and is having a panic attack

Lucas reminds the group that they forgot some stuff in the city

The group decides to just have Lucas use sending to contact Liza

She’s to give the rubies to Greg

As they fly north, the weather picks up and the gang starts frosting up

Coy gestures to Graham to fly higher

Graham refuses to comply

Connie attempts to clean/melt the frost off the broom with prestidigitation

Lupe barely manages to shake off the ice

The wind is strong, and nearly knocks the gang out of the sky

Escrima is knocked off of Lupe, but Zerander catches him

“I FEEL ONE WITH THE WIND”

Graham slides off the fly, but catches a leg

They land safely

Lucas and Connie land in a dignified manner

Thankfully, Connie remembered to buy winter coats

Zerander can make out a light source in the distance

It’s an inn!

Graham uses divine sense to check for holy or unholy creatures, but finds none

They knock on the door, but nobody answers

They try and open the door, but it won’t budge

Graham goes to the window

A dwarf is there, telling him to bash the door

No, but better this time!

They bash the door open

The innkeeper tells the gang to store Lupe in the stable

He points out a rope leading into the blizzard

Zerander follows it, dragging the gang behind him

He uses a crowbar to force open the door

Innkeeper asks Connie to help close the door for some fucking reason 

Somehow, they manage

Connie, Graham, and Coy crowd against the fireplace

Lucas, Zerander, and Lucas try to set up a tiny hut in the stable

Zerander tries to tie Lupe down on the far end of the barn

Escrima puts the muzzle back on her

He kisses her five times

Zerander decides to go back to the main inn

Lucas grabs a sack of flour as a pillow and sleeps in the hut

Escrima cuddles with Lupe

Are wyverns warm blooded? I think they’re warm blooded

RAW says they’re warm blooded. How convenient!

Zerander gets lost trying to find the inn

He has to try to bash the door back open

NOW HAMMER IT BACK CLOSED

HAMMER IT GOOD

He hammers it p. Good

PVP occurs!

A fey mood overtakes Zerander, and he sticks a frozen finger in Graham’s ear

Graham tries to retaliate, but misses

“Why would you do that?”

Zerander felt it was the only reasonable course of action

The innkeeper introduces himself

His name is Bruennor

He’s a prospector

There’s also a human, and an elf

The human is reading a book

Graham tries to see what it is, but can’t

Graham wanders over and tries to read over his shoulder

The human’s name is Perrin Korsta

He’s reading a history book. Nerd!

He’s a chauffeur for the elf

Zerander asks who the elf is

Perrin doesn’t know much about him

Apparently, there was another passenger, but she’s asleep now

The elf drinks heavily

Maybe he’s one of Viper’s friends

The gang is hungry and tired

Say, what’s the name of this joint?

It’s the blue sky haberdashery

The owner’s gone missing in the blizzard

Something bangs at the door

Zerander pries the door open

A woman enters, followed by a man in handcuffs

Zerander closes the door like a champ

The woman introduces herself as paladin

The man is a prisoner to be executed in Neverwinter

A rapist and murderer, apparently

He denies this fervently

Graham tries a lie detector spell on the monk

Somehow, it fails, and half the gang believes him

Here’s the bounty paper, jeez!

WANTED: SALVATORE MARIUS, DEAD OR ALIVE

Zerander ties to convince her to let the gang deliver him

...but she’s a paladin, and a paladin that likes money, at that

Then he tries to convince her to kill him herself

But she’s big on JUSTICE and BEING A COOL GUY

Zerander tries to out-paladin the paladin

JUUUUUUUSTIIIIIIIIIICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

HOOOOOONOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Oh, and 20kgp

Paladin lets him make a copy of the document

Graham decides he wants to get laid

So, uh, live around here often?

She’s about 45, and has a boob plate

And a srs bsns cougar

“Things happen”

They’re quite loud

The noises wake Escrima up, and he wanders towards their source

He wanders off into the blizzard

After over a mile, he finally turns around and wanders back

He manages to make it back inside

Coy sneaks towards the noise

She likes to watch?

She enters the room

There’s a lot of action going on that JP’s not gonna describe

Coy takes psychic damage

She tries to steal the bounty document

She takes more psychic damage

Can fingers even do that?

Coy gives the papers to Zerander

He hides it in his pecs/cleavage

Coy drinks a lot and passes out

Zerander goes to check on Lucas

He pitches the plan to Lucas

Lucas isn’t having it

Zerander goes to sleep in the stable

Escrima tries to proselytize to Connie

Perrin asks Escrima about mother

At some point, Graham had time to have a dream

Some things were crawling around in the room

When he wakes up, the paladin is full of holes, and he’s covered in blood

On closer inspection, the holes are stab wounds

He exits his room

The prisoner is still bound

Salvatore screams that there’s been a murder

The guests convene in the main hall

Coy comes to

One of her daggers is bloody

Graham notices this

The dorf accuses the gang of killing the paladin for the reward

Coy protests

Graham tries to use zone of truth again, but the others claim it would be biased

Escrima tries to detect thoughts on the dorf

He’s kind of afraid, and wants the gang out of the inn

A small boy is chased out of town

He changes into a small girl, returns to town, and kills his family

Escrima demands that nobody leave, lest they get sliced and/or diced

Graham accuses the other travellers of murdering the paladin

The NPCs reveal themselves to be changelings

The changelings say that the prisoner was assuming the form of a criminal when the paladin captured them

They set up a trap for the paladin and prisoner, but the gang wandered in and complicated things

His name is IBAISBSHABDKFA

Coy loots the paladin’s body

Graham tries to fill Lucas in on the night’s events

she was an older lady but not that old and she wanted to see under my armor and then she did and when i woke up she was dead and coys dagger was bloody but it was the changelings but they're good guys and...

Lucas recasts his tiny hut

Connie wants to know why they were impersonating a criminal

They knew he was important, but not why

They went to Lucern in disguise and got picked up by the paladin

Lupe is hungry, and eats the horses

Very, very messily

Horse viscera fly all throughout the stable

Lucas tries to polymorph her before she eats the rest of the horses

But Lupe is too hungry to be manipulated like that

Lucas uses phantasmal force to occupy her instead

Graham makes a snow angel

It’s okay

There’s some food in the hall, and the gang eats breakfast

The gang decides to use the horses to travel the rest of the way

They reach neverwinter

Caravans bustle about by the gates

Steam rises off of a river running through the city

A large portion of the city has been destroyed in the spellplague wars

It’s famous for inventors and mechanical technology. They are ambivalent towards magic

There’s also the main temple of Oghma

The most civilized city?????

The water in the river runs very hot, keeping the climate hospitable

The lord used to be an adventurer like us, but then he took an arrow to the knee

Watchu doin with your wyvern?

Escrima approaches a guard with Lupe, and tries to persuade him to let the wyvern in

But it fails, of course

He goes to store her in the ruined quarter

He then removes her saddle and muzzle, and tells her to go roam free 

“Escrima starts going through puberty”

“Mom hasn’t been talking to me, she doesn’t understand!”

Lucas asks about selling the horses

Connie is approached by her cousin Aleister the sidler

She is nonplussed when she realizes who he is

He leads the gang through the mess of caravans to meet with the rest of her family

They’re Vistani

All of the caravans in front of the gates are here for the wake

Graham is confused. Is this Catarina?

No, seriously. What about Catarina?

Aren’t you a lady there?

Who’s Heidi?

 //Connie’s run through a lot of names over the years. “Adelheid” is the one her parents gave her.

After much jubilation, Connie’s mother Ida offers to get the party’s fortunes read

Fortunes are private! No metagaming! //To this day, nobody’s talked in or out of character about what they saw. 

Escrima breathes heavily

The futuuuureeeeeee

Heidi and her mother pay their respects at the pyre

The procession takes turns dropping their torches on the pyre

The fire cycles through the full spectrum of color

The music swells to deafening levels

The pyre explodes into sparks and is no more

Ida pulls Heidi aside to tell her origin story

Heidi was born in sigil

So was her brother

Anderson? 

No, ya dingus

At some point, the gods nearly entered sigil, and much destruction happened

Ida and Ingo were only able to rescue one of the two of them

The brother wasn’t a planetouched

Some demons were trying to track down their mother for... reasons...

Ingo left her some “things”

A key to a portal in sigil

Think of family by a wall near the hive

Watchu doin, Coy?

Eatin’ hot wings

The secret’s in the tomatoes, you know

Some Vistani beckon Graham over, and demand he remove his shirt

A Vistani man forcibly removes his shirt

Dude, nice tits

He tries to leave, but there’s too many boobs around to leave

Lucas goes for a flight on the broom

He does some blue angels shit

Heidi has a good heart to heart with her sister

Her sister got married to their cousin

Heidi talks about her crush on Graham, and Lou encourages her

Lou looted some liquor from their father. It’s some strong stuff, and they both pass out after a few glasses

Everyone gets totally wasted and passes out

Lucas drinks a suspicious beverage, and his brain goes to Elysium

The next morning, the Vistani have vanished, in a giant cloud of fog

The gang finds a horse trainer

He only wants to pay 150gp/horse

Graham knows enough about horses to know that’s bull

The merchant moves to 275gp/horse

He directs the gang towards the Merry Hunter inn for information

The gang wanders around the market

They reach Hides ‘n’ Stuff for a stable

The shopkeeper is a halfling

Lucas takes the opportunity to practice his halfling

This gets him a slight discount

It’s gonna be ready in 2 days

Coy visits a weapons shop for kicks

Apparently werewolves are common as mosquitoes in the north, and everything has silver in it

Coy sells the bucket of silver for 250gp

Lucas wanders into a magic shop

“Himo Fezin’s Scrolls, Scrolls, Scrolls”

Himo is a little stuck up

Lucas offers to write scrolls for a commission

Coy goes to a potion shop

She gets a greater health potion, some mistakes, a smoke bomb, and some sort of anti-werewolf silver slather

The gang goes looking for the inn horse man was talking about

It has a bath house! Amazing!

Dude, ovens!

They ask the Witha, the inkeeper, about William Teller

Apparently, he’s staying at the inn

Witha goes to get him

He’s confused about his guests

He’s also very hung over

They move to Teller’s room

They all sit on his bed

Escrima sits on Graham’s lap

They look like two little brown eggs from an aerial view //They both shave their heads

Graham produces the map

Teller begins scribbling on the map

Apparently it’s gonna take a few hours

Lucas visits the grand temple of Oghma

A well-dressed cleric comes over to talk to him

Apparently they know who Lucas is, and what Eva’s situation is

It poses a lot of questions to the order

Lucas walks into the light

He has a vision of flying over Neverwinter

Oghma appears to him

She asks him what he knows about current events

Proskur was entirely Gandalf’s fault

Eva was supposed to go there to stop him

Yeenoghu is coming back, and threatens the entirety of planescape

Lucas asks about the fortune he received from other Eva //The one related to Connie, not the one trapped in Lucas’ head

Apparently it’s not 100% reliable, but possible to change

He returns to reality

His clothes are smouldering

The cleric reminds him that talking to the divine is rare and important

The cleric wants a copy of The Complete Adventures of Lucas Valeroyant and also a copy of his spellbook

Including the bits with Greg! Fujoshi across the planes get nosebleeds!

Lucas gets a pretty swanky talisman of Oghma from the cleric

Teller says he’s done, and the results are deeply disturbing

END