#like girl its october and we still know barely anything about it...

[poorlittlevampire]

i need suzuki to say what the price will be for the omnichord im not kidding im too scared to spend large amounts rn bc what if im short by $50???? what then?????????

[adverbally]

We Know What We Know

Written for the @steddie-spooktober day two prompt “woods” | wc: 754 | rated: T | cw: none | tags: new relationship, making out | title from “The Woods” by Daughter

———

Steve has hooked up in the woods before, of course. He was the one who popularized Skull Rock as Hawkins’ premier make-out spot. He knows how intense it can be when the background noise of the forest goes quiet, just the wet sounds of kissing and heavy breathing and your own heartbeat thundering in your ears.

He just had no idea how different it would be with Eddie.

This thing between them is still new. It’s not that Steve is scared or anything; making out is basically the same whether it’s with a guy or a girl, and he definitely knows what he’s doing. Eddie might have less practice but what he lacks in experience, he more than makes up for in enthusiasm and eagerness to learn.

Even if the mechanics are the same, there’s just something special about being with Eddie, something Steve can’t quite put his finger on. Wandering hands and a hot mouth are familiar, as is the electric buzz of desire in his gut. But there’s this… glow, maybe, or lightness? A kind of airy warmth that Steve gets in his chest when he’s touching Eddie and Eddie’s touching him. It’s like a squeeze from the inside out. Like something in him is expanding, unlocking, something too big to be contained in his body.

Eddie presses Steve up against one of the thicker trees close to Skull Rock, and Steve is barely aware of the October chill or the scrape of bark against his back. A tongue sliding against his own, dexterous hands cradling his face, Eddie’s smoky leather scent mixing with the earthiness of the surrounding woods.

Eddie pops against the backdrop of autumn colors. The red and orange leaves bring out the warmth of his hair and eyes, like the dying trees around them, stark against his pale skin but in a way that highlights his flushed cheeks. Every time they pause to breathe, Steve pulls away a little just to look at him, memorizing every inch of Eddie’s face in the dappled afternoon sunlight.

When Eddie finally notices what Steve is up to, he ducks his head and laughs a little self-consciously. “What?”

“Nothing, you just…” There’s that feeling again, like he’s a helium balloon about to float away if Eddie stops touching him. “You’re so beautiful,” he confesses. “And a really good kisser.”

“Oh.” Eddie blinks at him, surprised by the compliment, before his mouth twists into a wry smile. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”

Steve can’t resist leaning in for another kiss, trying to erase the self-deprecation from Eddie’s lips with the press of his own. Then another, and another. “Nah, just you,” he finally answers, hoping it strikes the right balance between light-hearted and sincere so he doesn’t scare Eddie away.

“Just me, huh?” Eddie challenges him, sliding his hands into the back pockets of Steve’s jeans. “C’mon, I’ve heard all about the infamous Harrington charm. I’m sure you’ve always been a sweet-talker.”

This is what scares Steve. He can’t honestly tell Eddie how he makes him feel, not this early into their relationship. He doesn’t want to come on too strong and ruin things. But this is Eddie, he thinks, Eddie who is always so open and real. Eddie who wouldn’t want Steve to hide from him. So Steve tells the truth, shrugs and says, “None of them were you.”

The words linger in the air, a hush falling over the woods. No birdsong, no crunching leaves, no wind rustling the branches. Eddie stares at him in silent shock, looking like Steve just slapped him in the face and tilted his whole world on its axis.

“Sorry,” Steve rushes to apologize, “I just meant—”

Eddie takes a hand from Steve’s pocket and claps it over Steve’s mouth. “None of them were you, either,” he tells him solemnly. It sounds a lot like I love you, too.

Steve suddenly understands why Eddie had looked so gobsmacked, now that the sentiment is turned back on him. If not for the grounding presence of Eddie’s touch, Steve is sure he’d be totally unmoored, probably halfway to the moon by now. He grins and watches Eddie do the same.

“You gonna keep kissing me now?” Eddie teases. He waits for Steve to nod before removing his hand and capturing Steve’s lips with his own.

It’s almost dusk by the time they reluctantly part ways for the evening. The joyful glow in Steve’s chest lights his way home and warms him well beyond sundown.

[eroselless]

PATO - FIVE

series masterlist | part 3 | part 4

[charles leclerc x reader, carlos sainz x reader]

warnings: pregnancy, angst, breastfeeding, spanish and google translated french

note: Yikes, the way I wrote charles is lowkey toxic, mb lol. This part reminded me of a picture i saw ages ago about how men and women deal with breakups, dudes moving on immediately and end up being sad after a few months and women being sad for a bit and then moving on after a few months. 

Anyways, shoutout to my baby sisters for being my main inspiration behind Lucero and for helping me figure out what babies do at 13 months lol I apologies in advance if some things don’t make sense, I tried my best to imitate the way they used to speak and use that for Lucero. 

Although not necessary, I listened to this playlist while I did all my writing and editing. It’s a nice bittersweet blend. If you guys wanna give it a listen, I think it would enhance the feelings in this part :)

We’re bouncing a little with the time jumps again but as always, they have the dates so its easier to track :) Happy reading!

MEXICO, OCTOBER 2024

Charles staggers into the hotel room, chest heaving as if he’s been sprinting miles without rest. His chest constricts,  each breath coming out in shallow puffs as he struggles to recompose himself. 

“Mon cœur?” he hears come from the bedroom and he no longer has it in him to hold back. Alexandra peeks out, eyes full of concern as she approaches the sobbing man. His face is buried in his hands and he would give anything to blend into the wall he’s leaning on. Guiding him to their room, she sits him down, slotting herself between his legs as he grips tight around her middle. His tears soak through her shirt as his body wracks with loud sobs. 

Frustration, anger, sadness – they all jumble together in his mind. Alexandra runs her fingers through his hair, murmuring comforts and feather light kisses into his hairline and waits for the sobs to soften before speaking. 

"Mon cœur, que s'est-il passé?" she asks, gently pushing his face away from her torso. My heart, what happened? She cradles his face as he looks up at her, silent tears staining his face. “That little girl we met today... she's my daughter. I didn’t know.” His voice is hoarse when he whispers, full of regret and guilt.

Alexandra’s eyes widen at the admission. “Charles, comment a-t-elle pu te cacher quelque chose comme ça? C'est... impardonnable," she says, her tinged with sympathy and indignation. How could she keep something like this from you? That's... unforgivable.

Charles shakes his head, eyes squeezed shut, a few tears still escaping down his cheeks. His sobs are fading in quiet hiccups as he slowly regains his breathing. “No, Alex. It’s not her fault. I’m the one who wasn’t there, it’s all my fault. I didn’t care enough, I left.”

She’s puzzled at his confession, lost in the depth of his sorrow. “What?”  

​​*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

MONACO, DECEMBER 2022

You’re lying partially on your side, arm draped over your bare chest as it rises and falls at a steady pace. He watches as you turn away, hair cascading over your back. The sheets are wrapped just over your middle, your upper body completely exposed to the air. The soft morning light filters through the room and Charles can’t help but think of the events last night.

He can still hear your voice as it echoes through the room, begging him not to stop. He can feel the crescent moons you’ve pressed into the thick muscles of his back. The ghost of your lips still lingers on his skin, like the stain of red lipstick on the collar of a white shirt. 

He leans over your sleeping figure, dragging his nose over your shoulder and pressing a ghost of a kiss there. It rouses you just enough to murmur a drowsy protest. “Don’t go,” you whisper and reach out for him, the tips of your fingers barely catching his skin. He is already on his feet. 

"I'll be back soon," he lies, slipping out before you can say anything else. He busies himself with mundane tasks, filling his day with errands that could be left for later. He thinks of you, all on your own, in your shared apartment waiting for him to come home. As you always did. He drives across the city, glancing at his phone as your messages roll in, swiping them away almost as quickly as they came. 

The truth was, being at home was proving to be increasingly difficult as time went on. His home with you, once a sanctuary, felt like a pressure cooker ready to pop. He loved you, doted on your every move but the constant fear of his career and unrelenting scrutiny of the public had slowly started to suffocate him. He couldn’t bear to break your heart and burden you with his overwhelming amount of feelings. What if he’d never be good enough for Ferrari, good enough for you? With every moment he spent away, he kept sinking into his own mind, choosing to ignore you and your attempts at breaking down his walls. He hated being away from you but he couldn’t help but pack you away into a corner of his mind, where he knew you’d be waiting for him, day in and day out. 

He comes home late that night, the guilt of having to face you gnawing at him. It's well after sunset and the night air is cool, the breeze turning icy. He walks through the door, expecting the lights to be off but is surprised to see you leaning over the sink, rinsing off dishes. 

Your face lights up when you see him, a tender smile he knows is only for him.

“Cha, you’re back,” you exclaim, turning to face the counter closest to the wall. You pick up a plate, filled generously with a meal that he could tell you spent a great deal of effort on. It’s gone cold in his absence. 

He only gives you a small smile, pressing a light kiss to your temple. He can’t help but feel a little surprised at your good mood. But he can’t bring himself to match the enthusiasm you carry in your voice.“I’m not really hungry,” he mutters, eyes not meeting yours. “I think I’ll just shower and head to bed.”

Your smile falters as he moves towards your bedroom, hurt flickering across your face. “But.. I made this for you. You’ve been out all day, I thought we could eat together.” 

He forces a smile, trying to appease you and end the conversation quickly. “I appreciate it amour, really. I’m just really tired.”

He can feel your eyes on him as he turns away, heavy with unspoken words. If he knew then what he knows now, he would've stood in that room and held you close. He would’ve tried harder to keep you by his side. He would’ve told you that he loved you. But he didn’t. 

She’ll come back, it’s okay, his thoughts echo while he stares at the door as you run into the night. You’re his rock, his anchor. His home. Weeks trickle by slowly and he can feel you slip away as more time goes by. He eventually stops thinking that he can hear your keys jingle in the lock at the front door. Your scent no longer clings to the bedsheets and the lush scented detergent you would buy gradually runs out. He slowly begins placing your things in boxes and taking them into storage where he hopes one day you’ll come to get them. Soon enough, he erases you from the apartment completely and it's as if you were never even there.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Charles shakes his head, his breath hitching. “I would do that often when I was home. I would lavish her with affection, trying to make sure she knew that I loved her with my whole being but…” he stops, pressing shaky fingers to his lips as if his breath is completely depleted. “I would find reasons to leave, seeking comfort in anything that wouldn’t make me think of what I was feeling inside.”

"Why?" Alexandra asks softly, her hand gently stroking his back. 

"I was scared," he admitted. "Scared of losing her, of not being enough. I thought keeping my distance, both physically and emotionally, would protect the both of us, but it only drove her away."

Alexandra's heart aches for him as he confesses. She knows Charles loves her but as his emotions spill out before her, she can’t help but feel like the other woman. She feels guilty as this new feeling is born and grows quickly. He’s confiding in her and the only thing she can think of are the doubts beginning to spiral in her mind. Trying to mask her discomfort she wraps her arms around him, his body relaxing against her as his breath gets smoother. 

"You did what you thought was best, Charles. You made mistakes, yes, but now you’ve learned and can move to find a better way forward," she says as her hand rubs up and down his back. 

Charles shakes his head. "I was selfish, Alex. I was so focused on my fears that I ignored her needs. I wanted to build a life together, to have a family. I pushed her away, and now... now I have a daughter I've never met."

Alex swallows hard as tears begin to bead in her eyes. She tries not to think too much about what he’s saying. She tries not to think about how this could make or break them. Would he still want to build something with me? Have the family he’s always wanted with me? 

“But you're here now and that’s all that matters. It’s not going to be easy but you can still be part of Lucero’s life and maybe, in time find a way to make amends.” She meets his gaze once again. The whites of his eyes are now red, only making the green around his iris look more brilliant than it did before. “Thank you, mon amour. For being here, for listening. I don’t deserve you.” 

She gives him a small smile, pushing away the feelings of insecurity that are now growing in the back of her mind. “Nous allons nous en sortir. Juste… ne m'exclut pas, d'accord ? Je ne peux pas t'aider si tu ne me laisses pas entrer.” We’ll get through this. Just… don’t shut me out, okay? I can’t help you if you don’t let me in.

“Je promets,” he nods, pulling her into his arms again. I promise. 

Charles is exhausted as he lays in her arms later that night, face pressed into her chest, snug against her heart. Alexandra lies awake in the darkness, the thought of you overtaking her mind. Her hands tenderly brush over Charles’s hair, his deep breaths tickling her skin slightly. There will always be a part of him that belonged to you. And it makes her wonder, with Lucero and you beginning to take your places in his heart, would there still be room for her? 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The sun gently peeks through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the room. You stir from your sleep, eyes heavy as you turn to the sound of Lucero’s cries. You begin to pull yourself up, pushing the sheets off of you. You hear a string of tsks next to you, Carlos gently pulling you back to bed.

“Tu quedate aqui,” he says quietly, his voice rough. “Yo voy por ella.” You stay here, I’ll get her.

You mumble a slurred ok, nodding with eyes still very heavy as you settle back down. Eyes still puffy with sleep, you settle on now propped-up pillows. Pulling at the straps of your sleep shirt, you slip the top off. You watch hazily as Carlos moves to Lucero’s makeshift crib, his steps quiet and measured. He coos at her and you can see her little hands reach out for him, legs kicking in frustration. “Buenos días, mi patito,” he says, cradling her close. “Ya vamos con la mamí, no te preocupes.” Good morning, my duckling. We're going with mummy, don’t worry. It makes your heart flutter as he stares at her with his gentle eyes, pressing a kiss to her hand as it goes to poke at his chin. 

He makes his way back to the bed, watching as you adjust yourself in your spot. Lucero babbles, her initial upset fading into a groggy murmur as she nestles into the crook of Carlos’s neck. Her thumb catches on her lip as she tries to suck on it.

Carlos chuckles as he watches her latch onto it, gently pulling it from her mouth. “No, señora,” he says teasingly. No, ma'am. “No thumb-sucking, little miss.” His gaze is warm as he hands her to you. 

The room fills with a peaceful silence as Lucero latches on, her small body relaxing in her mother’s arms. She holds on tightly, almost insatiable as she feeds. Carlos climbs back into bed, propping himself up on one elbow. His gaze is fixed on the two of you, eyes soft as he sees how devoted you’ve become to your little one, the love and connection strong between you. 

He can’t help but feel a sense of awe as he continues to watch you. He can’t help but admire how far you’ve come, the bond between you and Lucero beautiful and pure. The feeling of protectiveness and devotion to the two of you grows every day. He catches him thinking of the babe as his own, his daughter. She meant everything to him and he can’t bear to even imagine his life without her in it. Yet, he knew that Charles had a right to be a part of her life too, no matter how much it hurt to have to share that role. It's a thought that fills him with warmth but follows with a pang of bittersweet reality. 

With Lucero’s cries ceased, you gaze down at her. You're engrossed with how peaceful she looks, her little nose pressing into the flesh of your breast, little hands holding you as close as she can. Her eyes are beginning to droop again as her tummy fills up. She sighs in her stupor, pausing briefly before continuing.

You can feel Carlos’s gaze on you. He looks at you in adoration, fingers ghosting over Lucero’s chubby legs. He presses a kiss to your shoulder, sitting up as he does. Taking a deep breath, he breaks the silence. “Do you wanna talk about last night?” he asks gently. “And what comes next?” 

The question hangs in the air briefly, heavy with the weight of this new reality. You take a deep breath, mind coursing with different thoughts and emotions. “Not really, no.” You confess with a dry chuckle. If you could stay in this moment, just the three of you, you would without a second thought. “But we need to.”

He takes another deep breath, nodding. His expression is thoughtful as he threads his fingers through yours, bringing your hand up to his lips. “I know,” he says quietly. “I was thinking… If we’re going to do this, maybe we should also think about involving Alexandra.”

You blink in surprise, your eyebrows furrowing. “Alexandra?” you repeat, voice uncertain. 

Carlos nods, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. “Yeah,” he says slowly. “I know its complicated, but she’s a part of Charles’s life. If he’s going to be in Lucero’s life, she might be too.” 

Your expression is still a puzzled one as you respond. “I hadn’t thought about that,” You admit. “Do you think it's a good idea?”

Carlos sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know,” he says honestly. “But I think we should at least be open to it. Lucero deserves to know everyone who loves her. And I’m here, i know it’s not the same but I feel that because of that, she should be there too. We can’t ignore that.”

Your heart aches slightly at the thought, fear and hope swirling in your chest. “I’m scared, Carlos,” you say, voice beginning to tremble. “I don’t want to make things harder for her.” 

Carlos leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “I know,” he whispers, eyes trained on her little figure, still sucking away. “But we need to think about what’s best for her in the long run. We’ll take it slow and be there for her every step of the way.”

Your eyes begin to fill with tears, your grip on Lucero tightening slightly. “What if it doesn’t work out? What if it hurts her?”

Carlos’s eyes soften, and he cups your face in his hands, forcing you to meet his gaze. “We’ll do everything we can to make sure she’s okay,” he says firmly. “We’ll protect her. But we can’t shield her from everything. She deserves the chance to know her family, even if it’s complicated.”

You nod slowly, heart heavy with the weight of the decision. “Okay,” you say softly. “We’ll try. But we have to be careful. We have to make sure it’s what’s best for her.”

Carlos smiles, his eyes filled with love and pride. “We will,” he promises. He presses his forehead to yours.“We’ll figure it out together.”

Lucero had finished feeding, her eyes now drifting closed as she snuggles against your chest.  You look down at her daughter, feeling a swell of emotion as you cradle her closer. Her jaw trembles slightly, a sign she was tired once again. “I just want her to be happy,” you whisper, voice breaking slightly.

Carlos wraps his arm around you, pulling the two of you close. “She will be,” he says gently. “She has you. And she has me. And now, she has a chance to know her father too.”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

BRAZIL, NOVEMBER 2024

The sun is high over Sao Paolo when you arrive to the paddock. The air is electric with excitement, spectators slowly filling up the stands around the track. Their conversations create a gentle buzz that echoes above the garages. 

Carlos makes his way into the paddock, smiling at photographers and journalists as they wait for his entrance. They don’t miss the small body he holds in his arms and the woman that trails closely behind him, fingers intertwined with his. 

Your eyes scan meet the people waiting for you to enter, a delicate smile gracing your lips. Once in the Ferrari garage, you take release a breath, one you didn’t know you’d been holding back. 

“Are you sure this was a good idea?” you ask Carlos as you’re settled in the back of the garage. A sudden wave of nerves washes over you as you can see a couple photographers clicking away around the garage. “Bringing her here?”

Carlos leans on one of the tables with you, nodding, fingers gently brushing over her wispy tufts of brown hair. “She seems to like it,” he points out as she squeals happily, pulling at the wire that connects to the big headphones Fred passed to her as you entered. “Besides, it’s good for her to see where Charles and I spend so much time.”

You smile, the concern still evident in your eyes. “I just don’t want her to feel overwhelmed.”

“She’s tougher than she looks,” Carlos says, fingers going to lovingly pinch at your arm. You know he’s referring to her but the look on his eyes makes you think he might mean you too. 

Lucero spots the red car being worked on and babbles excitedly as she sees the garage technicians checking around the car. 

“Cah-loh!” she exclaims, her voice a mix of wonder and determination. “Sí, Lu, un carro,” you correct gently. Yes, Lu, a car. Her attempt at say carro was endearing, the R sound still elusive for her baby tongue. Car. “Es rojo. Puedes decir, rojo?” she claps her hands, ignoring your request. Its red. can you say red? 

Carlos chuckles, leaning down to kiss her head. “Lolo’s going to drive el carro rojo, mi amor.” he says to her, pointing to himself and adding a soft vroom as he begins to imitate a car with his hand. He makes almost a flying motion with his hand in front of you before gently whooshing it towards the bubbly baby, tickling her tummy. She giggles, managing to grap his hands and pulls at his fingers. She holds them up to her face, a soft gargle of buh buh buh falling from her lips.

Lucero catches the eye of Charles as he makes his way into the garage, his eyes lighting up as he approaches you. He’s wearing those god-awful bleached jeans again, the odd stripes something you always teased him about. You just don’t see the art yet, he’d often say.

He gives Carlos a side hug before hesitantly leaning over you and wrapping his arms around you. It sends a wave of nerves through the both of you. He lets go quickly before he can think much of it and crouches slightly to meet Lucero’s eyes. 

“Bonjour, ma petite amour,” His voice is soft as he speaks to her. Hello, my little love. There’s an eager smile on his face, one that masks the nerves that were bubbling just beneath the surface. It’s one you recognize. 

Lucero looks at Charles, suddenly clampering into your arms, tucking her face into your neck. Charles’s heart clenches at the sight. “Muñeca, dile hola a Cha,” you say, his nickname rolling off your tongue with ease. Doll, say hi to Cha. 

You poke gently her little tummy, pulling her attention to her father. He smiles at her as she peeks out from behind your hair. You guide her hand gently towards Charles and she meets him in the halfway, her little fingers wrapping around his. “She’ll warm up,” you reassure. “It’s a lot for her, all these new faces and places.”

Charles nods, a slight flutter of uncertainty vibrating through his chest. “I understand,” he says. “I’m just happy to see her.”

Carlos observes the exchange, emotions swirling in his chest. He can’t help the protectiveness and understanding that bubble up as he sees this. He moves away from the table only to have Lucero reach her arms out for him. 

“Vienes conmigo, estrellita?” he asks as she pulls away from you and Charles, oblivious to the emotions of the adults around her. Are you coming with me, little star? She points excitedly at the car again, prompting Carlos to get near it. Buh buh buh she tries quietly.

“Bah bah,” she finally manages, voice loud as she proceeds to bury her face into Carlos’s shirt. He lets out a giggle as she does so. “Baba, bluum.” he looks at her with wide eyes, bouncing her in his arms. He glances over at you, jaw slack as he identifies what she’s trying to say. 

Charles’s smile falters momentarily. She means papa, he thinks. He masks his broken-heartedness quickly and turns to you. “She seems to really like the cars.” He comments, trying to keep his otne light.

“She does,” you say, glancing between the two men. “Maybe she’ll be a driver someday, like her father.”

“Maybe,” Charles says, his voice sounding like it’s far away. The word father hangs in the air, shrouded in a veil and he’s not sure if you mean Carlos or him. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Unraveling the Ferrari Enigma: Carlos Sainz Arrives with Mystery Woman and Baby, Spotted Again with Charles Leclerc at Brazilian GP

In an unexpected twist at the Mexican Grand Prix, Ferrari driver Carlos Sainz was seen arriving hand-in-hand with a mystery woman and a baby, sparking widespread speculation and intrigue within the F1 community. The woman, identified by sharp-eyed fans as Y/N L/N, the elusive former girlfriend of Sainz’s teammate, Charles Leclerc, has rarely been seen publicly, adding to the mystique surrounding this revelation.

Y/N L/N, who maintained a low profile throughout her relationship with Leclerc, has remained a figure of intrigue among fans and the media. Leclerc, known for his privacy regarding personal matters, never publicly acknowledged L/N, making this unexpected appearance alongside Sainz and the child even more startling.

Adding to the speculation, L/N and the baby—whose identiy remains undisclosed—made a second appearance at the Brazilian Grand Prix, further capturing the attention of the F1 world. Observers noted that not only were L/N and the child seen with Sainz, but they were also frequently spotted around Leclerc, intensifying curiosity about the current dynamics within the Ferrari team.

The repeated public appearances of L/N and the child have ignited a flurry of questions regarding their connection to Sainz and Leclerc, and what this means for the Ferrari drivers off the track. Could this development cause tension between Sainz and Leclerc? With the high stakes of the racing season and the close-knit nature of the F1 community, the unexpected appearance of L/N and the baby has undoubtedly raised eyebrows and sparked numerous questions.

a/n: Hi friends! If you’ve gotten this far, thank you so much for reading! Any feedback, reblogs and likes are appreciated, they seriously keep me so motivated <3

What do you guys think about this little news item? I enjoyed coming up with the one I made back in part 2, I thought why not make one for this part? Should I keep adding them in every now and then?

tags: @kravitzwhore @janeh22 @apollosfavkiddo @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp @tremendousstarlighttragedy @sltwins @bwormie @marshmummy @honethatty12 @staplerrrr @smithieandy @loloekie @musicheaux @jeondeluxe111 @dessxoxsworld @xoscar03 @emryb @yl90 @poppyflower-22 @a-distantdreamer

strike through => tumblr won’t let me tag you!

[girlactionfigure]

Human Rights and Human Wrongs

URI KURLIANCHIK

“It’s impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means… Horror has a face, and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies.”

— Apocalypses Now

There has been a lot of talk about the "dehumanization of the Palestinians," so let's talk about this for a minute.

First of all, what does it mean? In plain English, it means Jews no longer have pity for Arabs who get hurt in the war they started to eradicate the Jewish people in the Middle East. This is mostly true. Even the eyes of the most gentle Israelis light up when they see a rocket hitting a Hezbollah launcher in South Lebanon or a building block used by the butchers of Hamas demolished in Beit Lahia.

It wasn't like that until recently. How did we come to this?

When I was a boy, Israel was a leftist country. We had huge peace rallies, the Oslo accords, all our war movies were of the insipid "shooting and crying" genre. We even had a subject called "peace" in school! People like me were viewed as crazy marginals (except back then, I also supported the two state solution, all civilized people did). To even suggest that not all societies wanted peace was seen as vulgar and uncouth. Nice people cried for the innocent dead on both sides. We could forgive the Arabs for killing our children but not for making us kill theirs. Etc… etc…

This euphoria of peace born out of the Oslo Accords was followed by decades of barbarism from the Arabs that eroded the pity reserves of the Jewish people. 

Yes, pity is a resource, and it's finite.

This wasn't the result of slanted reporting or anti-Arab propaganda. The media was firmly left-leaning and went out of its way to defend the Arabs after each new atrocity that was difficult to imagine was done by humans, and the widespread celebrations that followed. More and more, people asked themselves, “where is this peace partner? What kind of a society are we expected to live side by side with?”

Jews were torn to pieces with bare hands, baby skulls were smashed with rocks, little girls were butchered in their beds, children were massacred in schools, in discotheques, on buses. People were mutilated, castrated, crippled; not as collateral damage but meticulously, with sadistic precision, by an enemy that seemed to always prefer to go after defenseless civilians, that seemed to revel in atrocity.

And each time, the Jack the Rippers responsible for these horrors were celebrated as heroes by the Arab street and their progressive allies. No one stood up and said, "guys, there are laws even in war." No, when it came to hurting us, it was always, "by any means necessary." The laws were there to prevent us from protecting ourselves, never to protect us, and “resistance” often seemed like nothing more than an excuse to indulge in sadism.

Time after time, year after year, decade after decade; the Arabs produced images of horror that even the most progressive Israeli peacenik couldn't spin into anything other than what it was: the portrait of a savage society.

The change didn't occur at once. 

People first started voicing opinions that were outside the Overton window, only to be shut down in polite society. Then polite society started shrugging because it ran out of arguments.

Then October 7 came, the ultimate atrocity exhibition, the ultimate barbarity, recorded in vivid details and spread so ubiquitously there was no chance anyone missed it. Shocked and hurt, the Jews who still had pity learned that the Arabs and their progressive allies had no pity or even empathy for them.

"You made it up! You did it to yourself! It was only military targets!" and other forms of sadistic gaslighting were hurled smugly at a grieving nation. "Where are the 40 beheaded babies, haha? With or without baking powder, har har?"

The message was simple: "No matter what happens to you, you deserve no pity. Your very existence is a crime."

For many, this was the final straw. 

This was the moment their last shred of compassion for the enemy evaporated and their hearts became hard. Hearts of survival. Hearts of war. This is what the pseudointellectual farts mean when they talk about, “the dehumanization of the Palestinians.” The enemy finally managed to push Israeli society into not caring about the enemy. It took 40 years of hard word but we’re finally there.

Will this pity ever return, or have we finally transformed into a new kind of nation? I don't know.

What I do know is that when you treat someone without pity for decades, don't expect them to be compassionate towards you forever. 

Commit enough inhumanities and you'll be dehumanized.

[authorxxxxxx]

Jitterbug | Bayverse!Optimus Prime x fem!human!reader

Pairing : Bayverse!Optimus Prime x fem!human!reader ( she is Sam's younger sister )

Summary : At first she was the exact same as her brother Sam , but after some tragic events she became a little bit distant . But when he came - she was confused . She did not know how to react when she realized that she loved him . When him and the Autobots landed on the Planet Earth , he expected humans like Sam to be intrigued by them , what he did not expect was to fall in love for a certain girl with bright blue eyes.

Tw : mental health issues , diagnosis of illness , angsty feelings , a very concerned Ratchet , confused Optimus , parents stupidity , but fluff at the end.

English is not my first language so if you spot any mistakes please just bare with me .

Ps : I got away with this one because OPTIMUS DESERVES SOME LOVE , but I really enjoyed it so I hope you do too .

Edit : I think it is so bad for some reason . Some people will say that the song does not fit with the imagine , but I think it is better this way .

11k words

______________________________________________________________

Let's just say that your first encounter with the Autobots was not like you've imagined it to be .

Not that you've ever imagined about meeting extremely tall and big aliens that can turn into cars .

You've never imagined that you'll fall in love for the leader of the Autobots when you first saw him either .

It was a cold night in the early days of October when you and your older brother Sam got into a really big fight .

Things got even worse when your parents came upstairs to calm you both , but instead of doing that they intervened and the situation escalated .

From arguing with your brother about something that you both forgot after a while , to both be arguing with your parents about literally anything .

Their criticism about Sam's progress in school that was not so good , how you were being a not so helpful person because of your mental health issues .

" How much more oblivious can you both be ? Sam do you even realise how much money we are going to spend for your college if you do not graduate form High School with at least decent grades ? "

Your father had told your brother , but he did not answered .

He believes that in situations likes this one - silence is the best option.

But when your mother turned to you . . . Sam saw red .

" And you Y/N haven't we spent enough money for your therapy ? Buying pills every God damn month ? It happened long ago , you should have been able to forget it by now . I mean , it is like you are doing it on purpose ."

He immediately grabbed your right wrist and dragged you out of your house .

Your parents yelling at you to come back at the house immediately or else -

That is how you found yourselves in the middle of nowhere eating McDonald's and drinking coffee inside his car .

Dad bought him a yellow Camaro with black details a couple of days ago , but he was experiencing some weird problems with it .

The most common one - the radio turned all the time on its own .

You loved it .

And so did Sam that night .

The radio was playing some funny jokes to help you both forget the ugly situation back at the house .

Uncontrollably laughing you did not hear a big track changing its form to a 22ft alien robot .

Optimus Prime thought that Bumblebee was still into his alt - form just because he enjoyed it .

The thing is that Bee was so happy that you both were laughing at the jokes , that he did not even noticed his leader looking down at him .

" Mother of Primus . Are you even listening to to me ? " Optimus Prime asked a little louder this time and Bee frozed in his spot .

When Optimus realized that Bee had passengers inside the car he left a breath he did not know he was holding .

Bee opened his doors slowly telling you to get out before he could change into his original form .

Both you and Sam were shocked beyond repair .

Bee was looking down embarrassed when Optimus kneeled on the ground to take a better look at you - both .

Coming close to your faces he asked :

" Are you Samuel Witwicky descedant of Archibald Witwicky?"

" Yeah . " Sam had answered holding at you like a teddy bear .

" My name is Optimus Prime . We are autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron . "

" But you can call us Autobots for short . " Another one said .

Where did he come from ?

" What's cracking little biches ? This looks like a cool place to kick it . " Another one asked .

You heard yourself silently laughing .

" My first lieutenant the designating Jazz . " You heard Optimus deep voice saying .

" How you learnde to talk like that ? " Sam asked smiling .

" We learned Earth's languages through the World Wide Web . " Optimus answered while looking at you .

Shocked by his piercing blue eyes , you did not realised that another bot had said that your levels were unstable and your body was asking for some rest .

Sam looked worryingly at you .

" And you are ? " Optimus asked you .

" Huh ? " You asked him lost in his eyes .

" She is my younger sister Y/N . " Sam had answered for you .

Suddenly you heard George Michael's voice in Bee's speakers .

" You put the boom - boom into my heart

" You send my soul hig - sky

" When your lovin' starts "

Ratchet the medical's officer had stoped Bee with what it seems to be a laser .

Optimus tried to save you both from embarrassed when he properly introduced to Sam that Bee was his guardian .

And while Ironhide and Jazz were both not interested in the conversation , Ratchet decided to tell his leader that you needed a guardian too .

He offered to become yours so he can have you close by his side since of your unstable health levels but Optimus decided otherwise .

__________

Ratchet was never more anxious and afraid in his whole entire robotic life .

After their first encounter with you and your brother , he soon realized that Sam was the type of guy that tried to fing good in every bad situation . He was alaways happy and funny . Laughing at everything him and Bee did .

You on the other side were more close , introvert , sometimes you spent to many hours of the day alone , you had sleepless nights , you found peace in listening to 80's and 90's music in your earphones .

And of course he had realized that you and Optimus - your guardian had a think for each other .

Everyone seemed to know except you two .

Although after the war between the Autobots and the Decepticons you reached your breaking point .

__________

Anxiety and panic attacks , insomnia , sleepless nights , nightmares , constant fight with your parents , Sam's abstinence , Ratchet's healt questions , Bee's teasing about you and Optimus - Optimus .

You can not lie .

You two were closer that anyone else .

Ironhide believed that your bond was even stronger that the one of Sam and Bee's .

You loved him - more that n just love actually .

You could not imagine your life without the big bot .

And when one day were you were at your worst , Optimus did not returned home that night chasing after some Decepticons , you thought that he was dead .

Only Sam knew why .

You left the compound that night crying and when Optimus returned and did not found you , he knew that he was in deep trouble .

Sam told everyone the truth .

One year ago you had lost forever your bestfriend right in front of your eyes .

The memory was just too much for you and you slowly started getting depressed .

When the therapist diagnosed you with it it was too late you were already deep within it .

Sam told Optimus that you liked him .

And after that Optimus knew what he had to do .

__________

You heard the big truck coming to a stop and after a couple of seconds the sounds of Optimus changing from his alt - form .

" Are you alright Jitterbug ? " Optimus Prime asked you coming closer to you .

Jitterbug . . .

The nickname Optimus had given you after he found out that the song Bee used was your favorite .

Wake my up before you go by Wham!

Your silence made him even more worried .

"Sam told us what is going on and I wanted to say that . . .

I'm sorry Y/N .

If I realized sooner maybe I could have find a way to help you . " He said .

" It's not your fault Optimus . " You finally said to him , voice hoarse from crying .

When you looked up at him - even in the dark night sky he could see your red eyes .

Oh Sweetspark . . . he thought .

He placed his left servo on the ground near you .

After a couple of seconds you hopen up while he was briging you closer to his face .

" Y/N I would like to confess something to you that I hope it will not jeopardize the relationship with have build up . Sam told me - " Before he could complete whatbhe wanted to say you interrupted him .

" Did Sam told you that I like you ? " You asked , tears already building in your eyes .

" Is it not true ? " Optimus asked you .

" No it's not like that . Look you are Optimus Prime . You are a Prime . The leader of the Autobots . And I'm me . Just me . " You said . Taking it of your chest .

" That doesn't meen anything Y/N you humans have helped us with so much that we can call your planet Earth home . And in my home your in too . I am willing to help you get through your pain my Sweetspark . " He confessed to you .

" I thought I was your Jitterbug . " You said to him while placing your hands to his face plate pressing your lips in his dermas .

He stared in your blue eyes , the ones he grew to love so much .

" What do you think about going back to the compound ? It's about to rain and it's a long drive . " He said and slowly he transformed back to his al - form placing you inside his cabin .

" Can you please put our song ? " Your sweet voice asked him and he for sure did it with happiness .

Wake me up before you go by Wham! was playing .

Your song .

__________

" Y/N your back . Is everything okay ? " Your older brother Sam asked you once he saw you .

" I am going to kill you . " You said to him while running to catch him .

Sam started to scream for help while Bee and Jazz seem to enjoy the moment .

" Primus . What is going on ? " Ironhide asked Optimus but before he could answer Ratchet showed up .

" Well at least her levels indicate that she is doing better . Someone save Sam , his stress levels are duplicated .

__________

@unimportantbabymilksharkte

@k----a27s

[rafferty3207]

not to be impatient or ungrateful but too good to be true part 3 when 😩

its funny you say that today of all days bestie

Too Good to Be True (part three)

warning: fem!reader, passing mention of creepy dude, angst (but only at the beginning dw), then tooth rotting fluff

A/N: I hope you like this ending! in my mind this is done but not over - I will definitely be doing drabbles of this pair in future, but for now I hope you enjoy!

____

part one | part two

“Oi, prick, are you even paying attention?” Roy barks at Jamie, who is sitting staring at his phone.

“Er, yeah, coach, it’s just -just-”

“Just what? Spit it out?”

“How do ya access your voicemails?”

“Jamie. What the fuck are you talking about?”

He holds up the screen to Roy’s face.

You have a new voicemail.

“Jamie, I wouldn’t worry about it, it's probably some berk trying to sell you organic viagra or something. Now please can we get back to the football?”

“I just need to check Coach. To make sure of…something, but I’ve never listened to a voicemail before.”

“Christ you find new ways to make me feel old Jamie.” But before he can make another comment, Roy notices the sad look in Jamie’s eyes. He hasn’t been his usual irritating self this morning, no sassy quips or anything, and he looks like he’s barely slept. “Who are you expecting a voicemail from?”

Jamie looks up at him with those puppy dog eyes. “Oh for fuck’s sake, it’s that girl isn’t it? What did you do now, you silly twat?” 

“I didn’t do anything. I mean I kissed her -”

“Oh my god, that Simone Biles bollocks was about her wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, but it's an inside joke-”

“Hand me the phone.”

“Er, I dunno-”

“Just give it, Jamie.” Jamie reluctantly passes it over. “You dial a three digit number, which will access your number. You’re on the same network as me so-” Roy types the digits and hands it back. “But once you’re done, you’re doing 50 press ups for wasting my fucking time.” Roy goes into another room.

Jamie raises the phone to his ear tentatively. Of course, it’s you.

___

The gallery session had been, in polite terms, a complete shit show. You were late because you couldn’t figure out how to get into the building, then you couldn't find some of the papers with your plan on them, and therefore you spent several hours using what little you have of your phone battery to try and improvise a plan from your memories. You’re finally done, but by this point it’s almost midnight.

“This is your first exhibition, isn’t it?” Simon, the gallery owner looks at you hunched over, shoving the papers back in the bag.

“Yeah, how did you guess? Don’t answer that, that was sarcasm.” You say, continuing to scramble. “So what’s happening PR wise? Are we sending press releases, inviting reviewers, that sort of thing?”

Simon scoffs. 

“What? I get it I'm a nobody, but what about the big Emin retrospective you’ve got coming up in October? I’ve seen posters for that everywhere.”

“That’s pretty much all her team. Besides, when you’re Emin you don’t need the PR really. Of course, we’ll do our best and we’ve got it on our website and social media of course, but our comms person resigned so at the moment we’re a rather limited team. This is such a short period, it’s an interim show. It’s why we could offer it, but you knew that right?”

“Mhmm, yeah, of course.” You say, biting your lip. You don’t know what you expected, instead wearily picking up your bag.

“Right, I best head off, but I’ll see you in two days!” You power walk off while your voice can still sound fake cheerful. Now how do I go back from here? You wonder, pulling your phone out.

Of course, it dies at that very moment.

“Shit!”

___

You eventually manage to navigate home, although the walk takes three times as long especially after one man seems to walk right behind you for ages until you get to the high street and the tube stops running mid way through, so you have to persuade a nice older woman to look up the bus route on her phone. As you walk into your house and flop onto the couch, you remember.

Jamie.

Fuck. You hoped he didn’t take your note the wrong way. You plug your phone in and sit huddled until the screen turns back on.

11 missed calls. 13 messages.

hey Simone xoxo

out at drinks at the moment but I’ll be back asap xoxo

theres a cocktail i think you’d like here  xoxo

on my way home now! xoxo

where are you xoxo

u alright

u ok???

Where are you??

Just let me know ur home safe (or dont if u dont want to)

Im not asking to be creepy sorry if it came off like that

Im sorry if i scared you off

i shouldn’t have kissed you

Lets just forget it happened

Sorry again

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Let’s just forget it happened. You felt sick to your stomach. You picked up the phone with incredibly shaky hands and pressed the dial button.

_____

“Er, hey Jamie, it’s me. Sorry to leave you a voicemail, it feels old school doesn’t it? I don’t even know how to listen to my own voicemails, not sure why I’m sending you one. Well I do, I’ve rung a few times and you’re not picking up and everytime I try and say what I want in a text it comes off wrong - ugh, sorry I’m rambling. Anyway, I’m sorry I didn’t reply, my phone has been dead the whole way home and I had to try and find my way back and the tube is shit and buses are shit and all I wanted was for you to come and pick me up in that ugly orange car of yours but I couldn’t. So that’s that. Did you get my note? I completely forgot but I had the exhibition planning session today and everything that could possibly go wrong did and it’s been a fucking nightmare and to be honest Jamie, I don’t know why I’m doing it anymore. I thought this was my one chance to finally become a big shot artist but it turns out I have to market it basically all by myself and I have no time and know barely anyone so let’s be honest, no one is going to come and it will all be forgotten about and I will prove once again I am the failure my father thinks I am.”

Jamie hears a shuddering intake of breath.

“Sorry, I’m rambling again. I’m sorry Jamie. I really did mean to wait for you. I’ve still got your shirt and everything. It’s just, I’m so stressed and I need to finish these paintings but also why should I finish these paintings but also I want them to be perfect and - and - and I don’t want to do this over voicemail but I don’t want to forget about us but also I have so much work to do and I’m so fucked -”

Jamie listens to you choke down a sob, before sniffing.

“I have to go, but call me back or something. Or maybe I could see you at the exhibit? You’ll probably be the only one attending. Goodbye, Jamie. Sorry again.”

Jamie’s heart was breaking, but not in the way he expected. You were so strong for him but all the while there you were, clearly dealing with your own shit and struggling and he hadn’t even noticed. He hated the idea that he had made things worse.

Now, he knew what he had to do.

___

It is the opening night of the exhibit and you are adjusting your hair for the fiftieth time. The gallery had extended their publicity to a small private view with a few glasses of wine and bottles of beer, but that was it. So you had spent the last three days painting almost non-stop, sending the invitations to everyone you know and barely sleeping. You just hoped your makeup would cover the dark circles under your eyes. You had worn your favourite dress and done your hair especially so you would at least feel like the real deal, but that was quickly waning. 

It had been fifteen minutes and not one single person had showed up. The one event staff was already looking at you as if to ask whether they could go home early. You started to look at your phone while downing the glass of wine in your hand. Still not a word from Jamie. You hadn’t heard from him since you sent the voicemail and you felt embarrassed just thinking about it. It seemed like you were going to need more wine.

But then, a man enters. He is wiry, with a blazer and a glorious grey and black shoulder length mane. He is holding a notebook and looking around keenly. You have no fucking idea who he is.

“Can I help you?”

“Ah yes, I’m Trent Crimm.”

“Are you sure you’re in the right place?”

“I’m here for the exhibit Everything In Its Right Place.” You nod, dumbstruck. “Ah, great, don’t mind me.”

You watch him as he looks at each painting before scribbling in his notepad. That was strange.

After him walks in one of the most beautiful women you have seen, followed by a small man wearing glasses.

“Hello, welcome to the Private View!” You say a little bit too loudly, and you worry that the wine may have gone to your head. The woman leans over to you and of course she smells beautiful too. “Hello, I’m Rebecca. Is it alright if some of my friends come in too?”

“Absolutely, the more the merrier!”

A couple more glamorous women file in, as well as some fancy looking older gentlemen in suits. Behind them is a colourful blond haired woman with an Essex accent and a very fluffy jacket, talking about how her PR firm which is on the hunt for new talent. You made a mental note to talk to her later, and as you do she looks over at you and winks, which makes you feel flustered. 

The events staff comes over.

“Are they on the guest list?”

“Oh yeah.” You keenly nod, hoping they are not paid enough to grass you up.

And then walks in a very familiar moustachioed man.

“Why, you must be the modern Louise Bourgeois our Jamie has been speaking so highly of.” You don’t expect the honeyed Southern twang and you find yourself blushing. He’s more handsome than the small picture by Jamie’s bed gave away.

“I wish! Although Jamie knew who Louise Bourgeois was?”

“I mean, I think he is more of a Georgia O’Keefe guy. But I love old Lou Lou. Art is a guarantee-”

“Of sanity. Very impressive -?”

“Theodore Lasso, at your service ma’am. Although my friends call me Ted.”

“Are we friends?”

“I sure hope to be. Jamie will not stop going on about how great you are, so I thought I best see it in person myself.” He offers a hand and you feel yourself go even redder.

“Well, it is lovely to make your acquaintance, Ted.” 

You see Trent’s head has whipped around this point and he is striding towards Ted.

“Ted you’re going to love these paintings -” Trend hooks his arm in Teds and Ted waves you a goodbye as he is quickly dragged off. 

You see all of Jamie’s teammates file in after Ted, including Roy who gives you a little nod. They have all brought people with them, including some women who you swear might be famous models, and before long the room is densely packed. You can’t believe it. You even have a few people come up to you to ask for interviews, and once the Trent man has sufficiently shown Ted around the room several times over, he asks if you want to be profiled for one of the big papers.

“I’ve always liked highlighting promising new talent in any field, and I feel you’d be a great match.” He smiles at you and you feel your stomach start to fizz. The one waiter who has been frantically pouring drinks for the last half hour runs over to you.

“A couple of people want to buy the paintings, are they for sale?”

“All the ones without red dots are, yeah.”

“How much do they cost?”

“How much are they willing to pay?” The waiter runs off and comes back, handing a long list of offers. Your eyes boggle at the amount.

“Fuck me.”

“Someone said they wanted to snap you up before Satchel did or something?”

“I assume they mean Saatchi.” The waiter shrugs. “Call Simon, he’ll help with the sales.

“I don’t think he’ll pick-”

“Send him a picture of the offers. He’ll definitely pick up.”

The waiter hurries off and you stare at the piece of paper. You can’t believe all this is happening. But you still check your phone.

Are you coming?

No reply.

“Ted? I don’t suppose you heard anything from Jamie did you?”

He smiles and taps his nose.

“I’m afraid I was sworn to secrecy.”

You get back to your wine. That would be a weird response if he had told Ted he never wanted to see you again. But the whole day was starting to feel very weird. You decided to pop out for some fresh air.  However, as you walk outside you see a very familiar orange car parked outside. In the driver's seat is Jamie in a suit, holding flowers, staring at his phone.

“You know, I didn't order an Uber.”

Jamie jumps.

“Jesus woman, you nearly scared the living daylights out of me!”

“I could say the same of you. Can I come in?”

He gestures to the seat next to him. You walk around and slide into the car. 

“You look stunning.” Jamie says, looking over you and you suddenly feel very naked in this dress.

“Thanks. It’s certainly an improvement from when you usually pick me up.” You fiddle with your hem. “So can you tell me why you’re sitting outside my exhibit instead of going inside? You’re the only person here who is actually on the guest list.”

He looks back down at the flowers.

“I dunno. I guess I was worried you might not want to see me after, y'know" He nods his head towards you. The kiss. Before you can reply, he starts talking again. "That’s why I got everyone else here first.”

“This was all you?”

He looks out the front of the window.

“I mean the boys wanted to come anyway, but I spoke to Rebecca and Ted and Keeley. It was Ted’s idea to invite Trent, because he knows lots of people at papers, and Keeley knows people through her firm and Rebecca knows loads of rich guys because I dunno, she’s rich and fit -”

You reach over and gently touch his arm.

“Thank you Jamie, this means a lot - ”

“Any time. I just want you to be happy, you know?” You grip his arm a little tighter.

 “But you didn’t have to do any of this. I would have been happy if you were the only person who showed up.” Jamie finally looks at you. You just stare at each other for a moment, saying nothing. At this point you reach over and tenderly place your lips on his. He doesn't resist, immediately putting his hand on the side of your neck. Your hands start wandering down his torso before he pulls away suddenly.

“I don't want you thinking I'm trying to buy you or something. Me and Roy watched Pretty Woman the other week but I swear-"

"I know Jamie. Besides, you haven't even bought a painting yet." You try to laugh him off but he holds you firm.

"I just want you to remember you earned this. You are really, really talented, it's just - it's just everyone needs help sometimes"

You are suddenly struck silent for a moment, your eyes watering.

"Ah fuck, I didn't want to make you cry again!"

You sniff. "This is good crying though, I swear! I just never realised you were so wise."

"Oi you cheeky mare, I'm trying to be nice!" You both laugh, before he reaches over and threads his fingers between yours. "I think I’m in love with you, you know?"

He looks up at you, uncertain. Your stomach is fizzing, but in a way that makes you feel like you could fly. You smile.

"I know. The thing is, I'm in love with you too, Jamie Tartt." You stare at each other, before your lips crash into each other, your hands crawling all over your torsos and necks, your breathing becoming more ragged before Jamie pulls away again.

"Now come on you, this is your big night, remember. We better get inside before we have to go right here in the back like a pair of teenagers."

You place a hand on his thigh. "I mean, that sounds good to me."

""You are gonna be the death of me, I swear." He opens the car door. 

"Actually, to be fair there is one painting I think you should see."

The two of you stroll into the gallery holding hands.

"Fucking finally." Roy exclaims, before patting Jamie on the shoulder. "Now don't fuck it up Jamie, I like this one." You and Roy share a smile. You felt like you had something to thank him for, but you weren’t sure what.

"I see you met Jamie." You turn around to see a small old woman in colourful clothing.

“Sylvia? What are you doing here, I thought you weren’t back for another week?”

Sylvia gestures to a handsome older gentleman in the corner “Of course I had to see your exhibit darling! Now don’t worry darling, I’m staying with one of my good friends.” She winks before leaning in conspiratorially. “You’ll have the flat all to yourself.”

“Sylvia!” You swat her arm.

“What? Your mother told me you were going through a dry spell. I’m just so glad you and Jamie finally got to meet.”

Your mouth is agape. You said that months and months ago -

“Jamie darling, it's so nice to see you again!” Sylvia airkisses Jamie, before swanning off. You lean into the crook of Jamie's shoulder. You’d say you hate how natural it feels, but you fucking love it.

“Do you think Sylvia set this whole thing up? Between you and me?”

“Well, she did keep telling me she knew the perfect woman for me, with a fantastic arse-”

“Jamie!” You poke his cheek. “Although speaking of fantastic arse, let me show you my painting!” You drag him over to the biggest painting in the room. It is rich and vibrant and while somewhat abstract, almost definitely a nude. “What do you think?”

“I think it will be perfect in my living room. Well, almost perfect.”

“Almost? What else could be more perfect than this?” You gesture to the bum cheeks.

Jamie rolls his head as if mulling it over.

“You?”

You roll your eyes. “Oh my god Jamie Tartt, where did you pick up such a naff line? You’re lucky you are very handsome.” You reach up to kiss him, your fingers brushing his neck and jaw. and he leans to whisper in your ear. 

“You know, now you’re gonna be a famous artist now, someone may actually try to kidnap you. You might need some form of security.”

“True. Do you know anyone?”

“No.” You laugh. “But I do know an excellent driver. And he does know a lot of excellent private spots.”

“How soon can he start?”

“How about right now?” You take his hand in yours.

“Sounds perfect to me.”

---

Ah hope you all enjoyed this two silly billys in love! Pls send me requests of any headcanons/drabbles you'd be interested in seeing that I can bash out while working on this new juicy Roy Kent fic!!

@thebookwormlife @taytaylala12 @eugene-emt-roe @skewcherries @okkkkkkkksure @beingalive1 @gothicwidowsworld @atjamesbbarnes @e-mmygrey

[kurosakijane-blog]

Early October. To say that the weather is wonderful today is a blatant lie. Autumn has just begun, and endless rains are already terrorizing the city with might and main, washing away the streets and loudly knocking on the windows of houses.

Fortunately, the small office of “Devil May Cry” was cozy. There is heat, there is light, there is water, hot pizza is served to the table - and Dante doesn’t need anything more to be happy.

Opening the next box, the hunter broke into a blissful smile. The hunter’s nose was filled with the delicious aroma of cheese, and the golden brown crust beckoned…

At this time, a real hurricane broke out outside the window. The rain began to drum with double force, convincing with all its appearance that staying at home in your bed was the best idea that could ever come to mind.

The sound of rain reminded Dante of uninvited guests. They come without an invitation, knocking, wanting to enter. They get angry - lightning flashes in the sky, everything calms down. And then it starts again from the beginning, and so on in a circle.

As soon as the man relaxed, a bell rang and the door to the building opened, letting the cold inside. The sound of the rain became louder, and the room was instantly filled with the smell of dampness and gasoline.

"You could put your office in a better place than on the over side of the sity, you know?"

"You ruined my date, you know?" Dante answered with a smile, pointing to a box of fast food.

"Oooh, I'm sorry!” Morrison said seriously, “In fact, I came to inspect the building as its future owner.”

Noticing the surprise in Dante's eyes, the guest explained: “Just in case. You yourself asked.”

“Go ahead,” the son of Sparda casually waved his hand, “you still won’t find anything interesting.”

"I’ll try." information broker muttered quietly, climbing the stairs to the second floor.

As soon as the footsteps above died down, a playful smile touched Dante's lips.

"Well, shall we continue?" he whispered, taking out a piece of slightly cooled pizza. Even though such a long-awaited romantic meeting was ruined for them, nothing can stop true feelings.

But…

The bell rang again. In truth, today, Friday evening, Dante was ready to curse this damn bell and everyone who comes through these damn doors.

Looking at the visitor, the hunter raised an eyebrow in surprise. A young girl stood in front of him. The gray coat barely covered her knees, dressed in black nylon, and the stranger’s face was hidden by the hood.

The guest lightly shook off the wet umbrella and reached for her headdress.

"Are you Dante? " you asked, approaching the table. The man sighed heavily and put down the pizza, which had long cooled down.

"It depends on who asks."

After introducing yourself, you hand Dante a small stack of papers.

"I would like to offer you one thing."

The son of Sparda quickly skimmed the text and then closed his eyes tiredly.

"Sorry, baby, but I don’t take on family dramas. I have enough of my own."

"But… you are a demon hunter!" you exclaim, removing a strand of hair that stuck to your face. "Isn't this your job?"

“As I said…” Dante stopped mid-sentence. The lights in the entire building suddenly went out, and the radio went silent with a click.

Footsteps were heard again from the second floor.

"Damn you, Dante!" Morrison shouted. "Are you not paying your bills again?!"

"You are the future owner! But there hasn’t been normal work for a long time, and whose fault is it?" the gray-haired man shouted back.

Gradually your eyes got used to the darkness and, finally, you were again able to see the owner of the office in front of you. He sat with his head bowed and seemed to be thinking about something. He hesitates. It only took you a couple of seconds to realize that this was your chance.

“What a pity,” you drawl playfully, carefully sitting down on the edge of the table, “but if you helped me, I would pay generously. What should you do…"

The guest slowly pushed the papers right under Dante's nose, waiting for a reaction. There was a quiet chuckle, the man took a deep breath and raised his head. The darkness still shrouded his silhouette, but you saw one thing very clearly. Sparks in his eyes.

“Stubborn,” he grins, getting up from his chair. The man rests his hands on the table and, leaning forward, looks you straight in the eyes "we agreed."

[jaemified]

I COULD NEVER LIE TO YOU.

“maybe i finally understood why you were the way you were. or maybe you just never tried to understand me.”

☆ pairing ; toxic bf lee chan x fem reader

☆ genre ; hurt, ANGST, no comfort, toxic relationship, y/n vents but she has no one, slightly suggestive content

☆ warnings ; swearing, drinking, implied substance abuse, mentions of cheating and sex, y/ns insecure af (and only cz he made her that way), chans a gaslight and manipulator but also very possessive !!

☆ wordcount ; 0.9k

☆ synopsis ; youve been struggling with a toxic relationship for years now, but you had no one to tell that to, or anyone thatd believe you at least. so while your boyfriend slips out for the night to god knows where, you use this time to write down and express everything youve bottled up all this time.

☆ kona speaks ! - i think its funny how i always start with swearing in cw when its not anywhere near the worst thing in the story LMAOAOAOA anyway sorry i havent uploaded in FOREVER.. college is so hard (+i love my new format! all my drafts from the past 2 months are written like this:))

!disclaimer!, this is a pure work of fiction and is not in any way related to chan and his personality! purely for entertainment purposes only, and for me to express some thoughts :)

READ BELOW THE CUT

OCTOBER 31, 2023

you had left me on my own yet again. its not like i had any true friends left to be with anyway, after you scared them all off, that is.

who knows where you couldve gone.

no, the real you.

my sweet, sweet channie i fell in love with all those years ago.

where could you have gone?

maybe i wasnt good enough, maybe i wasnt pretty enough.

or maybe you werent understanding enough.

i always thought it was me, but maybe it was you all this time.

i like to think back at when we were last happy, god. that mustve been ages ago, just about.

it was.. my 16th birthday?

-my 16th birthday-

it was.. the day we had to put my dog down. my puppy since i was young. i remember it all clearly now.

i was..

-i was..-

we, we were 17.

mmm, my dog was probably my best friend. the realest one in a while.

i remember how you were there for me, even took me to my favorite donut shop to distract me while you tried so hard to make me laugh.

it worked.

i wish you were still you when we were young.

my sweet channie.

where could you have gone?

i could care less about your whereabouts.

i could care less about how you told me i was lying and that you knew i loved you whenever i tried expressing how i felt about us now.

but maybe i just want to be loved again.

maybe i just want to feel something again.

and i know it cant be with you.

i remember the last time you brought me out we were at mingyus halloween party last year.

nobody could find you, so i went to look for you myself.

i noticed your location was still shared with me, and not any of your friends.

so i tracked you to our car.

-our-

i tracked you to your car.

(since nothing that was yours was mine anyway)

and there you were.

fucking some random girl in the backseat.

that was the last day i saw any of my friends.

you never let me out again.

“you cant go, youll just be in my way.” you said before you left for soonyoungs christmas party.

“you cant go, i cant bare to see you hurt again.” you told me before i was about to leave to my own birthday party planned by my friends.

“you cant go, youll just play victim in front of all my friends and cry about how i fucked another girl.” you told me before you left a few hours ago.

i never know with you. but, i know deep down you care.

somewhere.

its always how y/n cant go here, y/n cant do this. or, shes too busy, we have something planned, shes not home.

even in the way you always spoke over me i knew you were just trying to speak for me.

but what about you?

why cant i have a say in anything you do? why do i get everything taken from me? why did you scare off all my friends and even make your friends hate me too?

you always came home high or on something whenever a different girl each time, dropped you off after you came back from a different party.

i never missed the way theyd look at me.

as if you said something about me.

because you know i never forget the look on someones face

it wasnt till later when i found out from wonwoo that everything you did to me, you told those girls thats what i did to you.

i learned to be quiet though.

i learned to sit there and smile, and just take it.

there was nothing i could do though, theres nothing that couldve changed your actions.

i mean, i cant control you.

so why can you control me?

the channie i knew from when we were 20 wouldve consoled me and been there for me.

the channie i knew from when we were 15 wouldve just laughed about how mr seo accidentally buzzed his head in the boys locker room.

the channie i knew from when we first met in grade school wouldnt even have thought about doing half the things you do now.

so where did we go wrong?

i still think about that.

was it, when we hit puberty?

was it, when we moved out?

was it, when we graduated?

our first date?

the day i found out you cheated?

y/n scoffed as she looked at the giant brown teddy bear in the corner of the room that chan had won for her on their first date.

she let out an annoyed sigh, thinking back, looking back at whatever point in time that couldve even reflected a glimpse of this change in him.

it was too subtle, but too sudden, for her to even remember.

she took a sip of her ginger ale before picking up her pen and scribbling some more in her diary that only she had the key to.

who knows what he’d do if he saw all the things she said about him.

you really werent much help.

nevertheless, i still love you.

i really fucking love you.

i know you do too.

i know a part of you inside still cares for me.

i could even cry thinking about it.

yeah, i realize i dont get out much.

but you never hurt me.

physically, at least.

the emotional damage is beyond repair though.

but i know theres still a bit of the you from our youth left.

i see it in the way you look at me.

no matter how mad,

how upset,

how happy,

how sad you were,

whether you were high,

whether you were drunk,

even when we were younger too.

you always looked at me the same.

that softened gaze and warm eyes.

the eyes never change. the eyes dont lie.

i mean, you could deny it (which id only laugh if you tried), but your eyes tell.

maybe thats why im still holding on.

maybe im just waiting for the boy i first fell in love with to randomly come back.

the chances are slim.

but i still hope.

im holding on.

by a thread, at least.

not like you’d let me leave anyway.

i could say how theres still love left within us

probably, somewhere

but when was the last time we were genuinely happy?

what do you get out of this?

because it isnt happiness. it cant be. you wouldnt be here if you were.

we’re both miserable. i see it and feel it.

it’s like, im just here for you.

i can understand the pressure though.

everyone would ask “how did you make it through college?” “how did you make it through high school?”

they dont understand though. you kinda made me

-you kinda made me-

they dont understand though.

i mean,

maybe i finally understood why you were the way you were

or maybe you just never tried to understand me.

i could tell you all of these things.

but i couldnt.

because i could never ‘lie’ to you.

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

what is the story of you and violet like how did you start and how did it reach to where it did, of course only if you’re comfortable. ( i’m not trying to mock you or make fun of it, ik what you went through but since you said anything personal, i have wanted to know this. i’m interested in things which are none of my business. i pray im not sounding rude, i really want to come of as nicely as i can, but i can’t)

whole story below the cut, there’s a tldr at the end bc i added a load of unnecessary details. js brace its kind of a long one.

so we met when i was 12 and he was 15. i remember it was june 2020. i didn’t like him at first—got sort of a weird vibe. but then i got to know him more and, by september-ish, he became one of my best friends. by november, i thought of myself as having a crush on him (i didnt know i was aroace at the time) but i never made a move bc he was dating one of my friends, lets call her jude. we talked pretty much every day. i had to leave our friend group for safety reasons but he was my source of contact with the rest of my friends. i think we mainly talked on discord at the time?

flash forward to new years eve of 2020, and something happens. i’ll spare you the details, but needless to say my devices got confiscated. i still remembered his discord id, so i got my best friend to msg him and tell him what happened. i also got my favorite cousin to do the same, so he’d have two ways of talking to me.

keep in mind, my best friend and cousin both had it in their minds that i had a crush on him, so they’d both try to get him to like me. in june i think he broke up w jude. my cousin was also in regular contact with jude on instagram, so i got to msg jude at some point after the breakup and i distinctly remember her saying she’d be okay if i dated him but she personally was so unhappy w him. i didnt get that, but i think i later did

years pass w barely any contact. december 2022, i start dating someone else. january 2023, i realize i chose the absolute worst person and i break things off. then april 2023, i manage to get in contact w violet. we start dating the next day. (here he’s told me that he’s genderqueer he/she, but later he denied this)

i talked to him anytime i could and he'd send selfies a lot. i was scared about my parents so i asked him not to. he'd do it anyway. i didnt ask him to stop after that

he wasn’t necessarily a bad boyfriend, i js didnt rlly feel. idk. special? i’d make playlists for him and send voice recordings whispering “i love you” in arabic but i never got any of that back ig. the first few weeks were the best but after that? nothing. i’d send pics and he’d call me pretty and hot and say he’s so lucky to have me. later i found out he called every girl pretty when he’d see a pic of her.

i self-harmed for the first time when i was with him. what he did was ask me to send a pic of it so he could check if its bad. i told him i was suicidal. i dont remember what he said.

and then came june 15th, 2023. what a day. i talked to him at like midnight my time. i remember the last thing he asked was for me to send a selfie so he could show me off to his friend.

then my mom found out. and i was so scared of her getting angry at me that i downed 16 pills and got rushed to the hospital.

my mom didnt get angry. but my devices were confiscated again. and i couldnt talk to him. keep in mind, he knew i was suicidal. i was expecting some kind of response from him through my best friend because he was still talking to her at the time, but i didnt hear anything. instead, nine days after i tried to kill myself, on the 24th of july, he broke up with me. 

i didn’t blame him. when your suicidal gf ghosts you for nine days ofc you’re gonna wanna move on. it’s not his fault. i js felt kind of lonely, yknow? on the 30th i managed to log into my acc to talk to him, to explain everything, n all i saw was a breakup msg. i dunno.

in october-ish of 2023, i managed to get thru to him. i explained everything. he didnt give much of a response, but he did ask if we could keep talking. i said sure. we did keep talking and i invited him to tumblr bc i had more of a presence here than anywhere else. when my mom confiscated tumblr in november, i continued talking to him on google chat

in february 2024 he was my valentine js bc we were both single and alone and we thought itd be fun. i wrote him a letter. he didnt make me anything but its fine. you get the idea we were getting closer again

by this point i realized i wasnt receiving the amount of love i deserve, and i was kind of sad bc he’s not a muslim and i am, so we couldn’t get married, therefore we wouldnt have a future together (i’m the kind of person who wouldn’t have a relationship w someone if it won’t lead to anything in the long-term). he told me he wouldn’t become a muslim or study islam for me, so i respected that. i wouldnt forcibly convert him. but i also acknowledged that i couldn’t be w someone who’s not a muslim, so i asked him to stop talking to me. he said okay.

he’d still reblog stuff and send me asks—he even asked me to write a poem about him for my follower event. but around that time i had kind of been getting drained from exams and i didnt want boy problems on top of that, so i asked him to stop all contact w me. he respected that, as far as i know. he wished for me to have a nice life. i wished the same for him. and i blocked him. i havent talked to him since then at all, i dont think

so yeah. kind of lengthy story thats a whole load of nothing. i dont want you to go bother him about this. he was my friend before being my boyfriend, and he was with me during a dark time in my life. i respect him and i ask for you to please not send hate towards him. think what you will, just dont bother him. i’d be happy to answer anything else, but i think i js about covered everything.

tldr; we met when i was 12 and he was 15. we dated starting when i had just turned 15 and he was almost 18. he broke up with me after i attempted sewerslide. we continued talking for a while after reconnecting but i cut him off again last feb for religious reasons and we havent talked much since.

[sendaidivision]

Happy Halloween! 🎃

-> Dragon and werewolf for Ryūzō

-> Candy and Poison for Takumi

-> Werewolf and Cloak for Kotono

Dragon - What is their favourite scary movie?

"My favorite scary movie?" Ryūzō repeats with a frown. "I don't generally watch horror movies. Not because I'm afraid, but because I don't need to watch a movie filled with fictional monsters killing off everyone they see. My life has already seen enough of that. ...Besides I barely get enough sleep at night as it is, thanks to my insomnia. Watching a horror movie would not help with that."

"...But to answer the question, there was one movie that Kotono dragged me to see once. What was it called... ah yes, the Ring. A video about a cursed video tape and a girl with supernatural powers. I'll admit, that one piqued my interest. I can't say if it is my favorite horror movie since I don't watch many, but it is the one I always remember."

"But still, I try to avoid horror movies when I can since they are too much like real life. If I wanted to hear young adults moaning/groaning or see them being killed off, all I need to do is just say two words: 'pop quiz'."

You try to ascertain as to whether the English professor is joking or not; its hard to tell from the stoic, neutral look on his face...

Werewolf - What is their favourite part of Halloween?

"My favorite part of Halloween?" Ryūzō repeats, before looking at the screen with a stoic look. "Simple: when it's over." He goes back to grading papers for a minute before looking up at the screen, a neutral look still on his face.

"...Do not take my answer to be a sign that I have anything against All Hallow's Eve. It's simply when this holiday and time of the year rolls around, my students tend to become very lackadaisical with their studies. Around the midpoint of October when midterms are over, that's a sign that the semester is almost over. By that time, the students lose what fervor they had and their grades tend to drop lower than they already are. They seem to think that just because its a festive time, it's an excuse to neglect their schoolwork, and their main interest is in parties and goofing off."

"Therefore, I don't seek to have anything to do with this holiday, other than what is required of me by the school. And that's grading these students' horrid test papers." Ryūzō holds up a student's paper that has 34/100 on it, his face still as stoic as ever.

Candy - If they got to choose to be any supernatural being, what would they choose?

"A dragon!" Takumi answers instantly, with a loud voice and a grin on his face.

"I've always admired and respected dragons since I first learned about them. Dragons are, in my opinion, the personification of raw power. But besides that, they're also so majestic and beautiful, even if they're only featured in paintings and works of fiction. Guess it's no surprise the the speaker for my HypMic is a dragon!"

Poison - Who would they enter a group costume contest with?

"Who would I enter a group costume contest with?" Takumi asks, before looking up to think.

"Hmm... I'd like to say my coworkers, but... knowing Ryūzō, it'd take the school principal or superintendent to get him involved. And even then, he may not take it seriously." Takumi explains, rolling his eyes.

"I'd like to say Kotono, but... well, as much as I like her, if there's a party involved, there's probably going to be drinks. And if there are drinks around and Kotono's there, well... we've all seen how she gets when she has some liquor inside of her."

"So, yeah, I'd like to involve my co-workers, just not my teammates. I mean, if they want to join, that's good. I already know what Ryūzō would say, but if Kotono wanted to join and she was sober, well... I wouldn't say 'no'."

Werewolf - What is their favourite part of Halloween?

"My favorite part of Halloween? Getting drunk, obviously!" Kotono answered, grinning.

"I mean, other than St. Patrick's Day, which we don't really celebrate here in Japan, Halloween is really just an excuse to get drunk and have a good time while dressing up. Our superintendent always throws the staff a Halloween party here in the Academy. And they always bring in some free drinks, which I'll never say no to. And the free food and candy isn't bad either!"

Cloak - Do they decorate for Halloween? If so, do they go all out, do they only put up a few, do they fall somewhere in between?

"Do I decorate for Halloween?" Kotono asks, before frowning. "No, I sadly don't decorate. Not saying I wouldn't like to, but... well, besides the fact that putting decorations up means having to take them down again, which I probably will neglect to do until Ryūzō comes to clean my apartment again, setting decorations up means that you'll probably be home, handing out candy, which I won't do since, as I mentioned, the staff have ourselves a little Halloween party every 31st."

Thanks for the ask!

[xoluvx]

hello my loveeee! I was the one that had a little query i need some help on. Thank u for hearing me out, okay it’s a long one so STRAP IN (not the smut kind HAHA) alrighty Welp here goes

I’m in love. And I’m in love with someone I can’t have. Last year I met this girl, she’s way older than me and is already in a committed relationship for years. But anyway. I Met her at work, she originally trained me up to do my job and then we bumped into eachother at a convention. Since that day we became friends and regularly (monthly and sometimes weekly) planned to see eachother. Eventually she left her job and moved to another role in the organisation so I still got to see her. Anyway, then we did a big group activity with another friend of hers and I had another friend of mine, but i told her I missed her cos i didn’t get a chance to talk properly. AnywYs, few months go by, still the same stuff happening it’s going fine. Altho She had some serious health issues with her family earlier in the year and I told her I was there for her if she needed ANYTHING. And then July comes by. Man. I probably had one of the worst weeks in July, and I didn’t even tell her half of it. She didn’t even ONCE say “oh I’m so sorry to hear about this I hope you’re ok, or NOTHING”,. Eventually I updated her on one thing and she was like “you did good”. THE HECK? Then she made me a beanie (she loves to crochet) as a token of support. But after that? NOTHING. We’ve barely texted, our next organised day to see eachother isn’t till THE END OF OCTOBER AND I ASKED FOR OUR NEXT ACTIVITY DAY BACK IN THE MIDDLE OF AUGUST. ITS A TWO MONTH WAIT, R U KIDDING. And now she’s hanging out with the same friend we did our big group activity with along with her partner. She met this other friend before I came along and they’ve known eachother for years. And I’m VERY aware of it. Bht I get so jealous every time they post shit together because a year ago that was me. I just don’t understand where it all went wrong. I have one bad week and it’s like i always need to be happy otherwise I’m no ‘use’ to her. I’m barely in my 20s. She hasn’t even reached out to say she ‘misses me’ like she used to. Reciprocation is non existent.

’ve been so blinded by her, and fueled my fantasy of her that when i take the rose coloured glasses off i CANT Even fathom the true person she actually is. She’s still that person I was in awe of at the start, but picking up on things she says and does makes me raise eyebrows, and frankly it breaks my heart because it hurts so much. It hurts so so much. She played me like I’m a fool and I was so blindly infatuated with her. She was also really touchy felt too, we held hands and hugged all the time. I had never had that with a friend before.

She opened my eyes up to affection I had never had, i wrote her letters on her birthday, gave her gifts, chocolates and food. I had NEVER done that for anyone else that fast in my life. I even purposelfully made myself stay up late for her till 1-2am just so I could message her cos I knew she’d be up at that hour. And I’m so scared that I might be losing her after falling down the rabbit hole. Y’all I was so careful. I WAS SO SO CAREFUL AT THE START. BC I KNEW WHAT I WAS GETTING INTO. And then she just drew me in only to spit me back out. And I feel awful. I feel like a dickhesd for falling in love with a girl that only broke my heart more. I don’t know how I’m supposed to get out of it.

Thanks for reading this, I’d love anyone’s advice and thoughts. I love you x

dear anon that fell in love with someone they can't have,

this was a doozy. when i tell you i went through every emotion-

first, this isn't your fault. you physically cannot control who you fall for. no matter how careful you are. especially considering this person led you on and made you feel like there might've been a chance at something more.

second, you have to set boundaries with this person. maybe that means cutting back on your monthly activities little by little.

i think everything happens for a reason and everything has a purpose in the longer scheme of life. some people are meant to just be in your life for a short time. it seems like this is the case. you shouldn't stall your life because of this person.

i know this is all so much easier said than done, but it's time to move on with your life even if it means leaving her in the past. your heart will heal, but you will never get those years you've spent pinning over a person who could care less about your well-being.

i love you. thank you for sharing with me and trusting me.

calling all my babies - additional advice is welcomed 💖

[messa-messilla]

How was your day ?

A Scott Pilgrim short songfic in the past

Song by Beabadoobee

(art made by me)

Author note : GRAAAAAAAH I FEEL SO POWERFULL WOR WRITING ALL OF THIS IN A SINGLE DAY

And also, i know that Ramona became a better person, and by the way, i don't hate her, and really don't want to make her seem like the worst person ever, i just wanted to tell a story with the point of view of Roxy, about how hurt she was

Anyway, enjoy your reading <3

“Hello Rammy, it’s Roxy”

In this afternoon of winter, the cold had already taken over all this little town, and all its residents.

This sudden cold takeover resolved to people dressing with way more heavy and warm clothing. Doing their best to not get even the simplest cold.

For most people, it worked…

For Roxy, even bundled up in large sized blankets and coating, the taste of disappointment stinging her nervous system, while holding in her hand a barely working ink pen, and having with her some dirty piece of paper, it still felt like she was living in an igloo, possibly surrounded by enraged polar bears.

“How was your day ?

Was it okay ?”

Wait, no. Roxy realized how kinda dumb asking this on a single letter was.

Problem is, she COULDN’T ask her this by messages regularly…

Ramona didn’t give her her new phone number when she moved out.

Why ? Roxy didn’t really know.. Did she even care about her ? Roxy was caring, so it means Ramona also probably was, right ? Right ???

“ We haven’t talked in a while.”

Well… They haven’t communicated  for two weeks.

Two weeks, that felt like a lifetime for Roxy in that context…

In the context of getting left alone, without anyone.

“I’ve forgotten how you used to smile.”

And yes, this sentence was deeply sincere.

Roxy could remember almost EVERYTHING about that girl.

How pretty she was with her bright pink hair, making her physically unique from everyone around.

Her clever, amusing and endearing personality, that would always make Roxy so happy.

How they fell in love in October, living the warmest relationships that Mrs Richter could even ask for.

All the time they spent together. Watching movies for example, Roxy was more than happy to make her discover Star Wars and to see Ramona starting to like this franchise as much as she always did herself !

Even most of the time, pacing the streets, rolling joyously on their rollerblades, always feeling like invincible queens of the sidewalks.

She could remember everything…

Except, the last time Ramona addressed a smile directly to HER.

And this, not being the rejoiced face she had, before being gone.

Forever.

Without any last goodbye.

Oh boy, how hurt she was.

“ What do you look like now ?”

Roxy hoped to get a picture if Ramona ever sent a letter back, because she REALLY wondered, how does her… friend, looks like now ?? Did she change her hair again ? Did she get taller ? Did she change her style ? Roxy was so curious.

“Remember when we used to fight ?”

“Ahah, how stupid these times were !”, thought Roxy in her head, as she wrote this interrogative sentence…

How stupid she felt.

She didn’t get in arguments with Ramona EVERYTIME they were hanging out.

But when she did, damn, it hurted her, deeply.

All of those arguments… They started  when Ramona told Roxy she was going to move out, only a few days before she actually did, even if she had already so much time to tell her.

Roxy still remembers how they would try to spend time together for the last remaining few days, and how awkward it was for both of them to even exchange a couple of words.

Even after all that,

Roxy misses Ramona…

And, to be honest, she even misses the times where she would get angry at Ramona.

Why ? She had a blurry vision of why she misses all these stupid moments.

She thought… It might be because of how new couple arguments were to her.

Ramona was her first true love, the first girl she loved so strongly she could do anything for her.

And because of that… She wanted to put their unfortunate moments aside, because it was simply the best relationship she EVER had. 

Out of all her very little friend repertory.

Out of all her family.

Out of everyone.

And she didn’t want to only think about these bad moments.

“I put my phone number somewhere in that letter.

I will soon be away from home for a while, to go see my family for the end of the year celebrations, so i won’t be available at any time of the day, but it’s okay if you call me in the evening or in the night, even if it’s late.”

Roxy was in a state of desolation, her feelings were getting burned to ashes.

She remembered that one day, as October has seemed to crown Fall as king of this certain time of the year.

As Ramona and Roxy exchanged their first kiss, Roxy felt like nothing could ever break their deep connection…

And even with that, nothing could have lasted forever.

“Even if we're miles away from each other at the moment, i know you still want me as usual, like during all that time we spent together !!”

As she finished writing this sentence only, Roxy could feel her writing hand shaking, and all of her body shivering.

After a few seconds of hesitation, she quickly crossed out the whole sentence of the letter.

No, she didn’t think Ramona still wanted her as usual.

She, herself, still wanted Ramona, like she always did.

Later, as she was out in the cold Winter, at the postal service, she was still bearing this feeling… 

The feeling of abandonment.

She couldn’t think about anything other than how Ramona used to miss her. How she would constantly send her messages to talk about how she was excited to see her again later in their shared bedroom, every time they weren’t in the same place.

And how, now, she didn’t even bother to think about her existence, not even with all the love Roxy gave to her unconditionally.

The tears on the face of Roxy were freezing in the cold, looking like crystals.

Throughout the days,

the weeks, 

the months,

the years,

absolutely no letter was sent back to the blonde girl.

Things had to, and did change, like the weather, and like the days.

But the thing was, 

still even after the time passed for so long,

Roxy knew she wanted to be with her.

Author note : Anyway, sorry for writing angst, it will probably happen again

By the way i love Beabadoobee <3

[dixie-the-pixie]

Story time.

Before i moved away to my states capital after covid shutdown my middle school, i had a small friend group made up of genuinely horrible people. After i moved, i made the decision to stop being friends with them, as i was having a period of self discovery and realized i didn’t want to be associated with them anymore.

My Freshman year was 100% virtual, so i had very limited contact outside of my immediate family. As you could guess, i didn’t have any friends.

Sophomore year and i’m back in school. In person, this time. And i’m very overwhelmed; i don’t do too well with new environments and hundreds of people. As such, i have a very hard time making friends, with most of my “friends” barely hiding their hatred for me. It doesn’t get better from here.

Junior year. The first three months i was still in my states capital. Come October, however, and i move back to my “hometown”. My first day back and i’m already a part of a main group, even being added to a group chat. In the span of two weeks, i went from having 0 friends to having about 20. All of these new friends, and yet none of them had seen me in years, and none of my middle school friends were among them. Remember, i’ve never really been friends with these people, i don’t know anything about them, and likewise they with me. This was October.

Over the next few months, the group would start drifting apart, but i wouldn’t pay it any mind. Then on presidents’ day, a group of us went to see a movie together and got lunch after. While they talking, they get to talking about the friend group and it’s future (i’m not really talking, i’m more thinking about how little i actually fit in with everyone). They’re all talking about how the group members there had either already split or were planning on splitting up with the other members of the group. And at this point, i’m feeling kind of like an outsider, like i’m in this liminal space where i’m friends with all of them, but also like i’m closer to the group i was with then than the other.

Fast forward to March, and i’m at my mid-semester concert for high school band. I’m enjoying myself, having fun surrounded by people i’m friends with. Then, suddenly, without warning, one of the friends leaves the friend group chat. I was the last person to send anything to the chat, and i assume they left because of me, so i deleted the thing i sent. For the record, it was a picture of one of the other members dad, it was a little in joke we had. Eventually i would talk to other people still in it, and i would eventually leave the group chat as well.

At this point, the group is completely split up. And i’m in the middle, friends with both groups while also not being friends with anyone. It makes sense, they were all closer with each other than they were with me, i had been in the group for less than 6 months at this point.

The school year ends, and i spend the summer isolated from my friends. It’s also during the summer that one of the members of the group, a 23 year old who was friends with mainly high school girl, is outed as pedophile, actively in a relationship with one of the groups members. When i find out, i make a snapchat story post about it, to which the person asks me to delete. When i say no, they take it personally and stop talking to me entirely. The only irl interaction i have with any of them is a short conversation with one person when they stumbled upon me taking a walk through town.

The 2023 marching season starts, and i along with my friends are in marching camp. It’s here where i learn of the existence of a group chat between some of the former members of the friend group and some other people. i think nothing of it, i wasn’t as close with that group anymore. Its fine.

Senior year. Early on i learn that the other group has also made a new group chat, with new members. I don’t know when this group was created, only that i was not a part of it. It’s at this point that i start to think something of it, and it starts creeping into my mind that i have fewer friends than i thought. I try to ignore it. Eventually, i break off completely from the worse former members, at the same time that they rekindle their friendship with one of the other former members. I think nothing of it. Luckily i’ve made a new group of friends, and i finally feel like i’ve found a good friend groups. I spend more time with my new friends, and everything is fine.

This is how it goes for most of the rest of the year. i know i’m drifting from my old friends, but i’m okay with it. I graduate, and all is well.

I thought.

Since graduation, i’ve seen my friends once. I’ve had little convos with one of them, often only a few messages. the other i haven’t seen or talked to in over a week, complete radio silence. i don’t know if it’s something i did, or if he just needs some space.

So let’s recap. In three years i went from having 0 friends, to twenty, to maybe three. It hasn’t been great for my mental health, let me tell you.

Hi tumbler, this is secret lore only you guys get to see. This part isn’t going on my instagram. @dixie_.the._pixie #always be plugging. anyway i made this because i saw a post in the r/aspiememes subreddit and it made me think about my friendships. No tags on this one, too personal. that might be ironic, but i don’t care.

[dew--dropper]

Hellooooo. wow long time no see again, his was reall a long time. Alot of thiings had happened and alot of things are happening. I moved to UK, its been almost 3 months now. My course started and I am already behind. The uni is great, the professors are awesome, too. I'm sharing an apartment with 2 other girls and 2 boys. I do not talk alot with the boys, they're barely home anyways.

The girls (D & V) are the closest one here. I cook with them, go to uni with them, like do almost everything together. I met a guy, too. He's D's friend first, but now is my close friend, too.

W, we met in my apartment, but we never spoke for days after that. Then we went to a party in early October, since then we started talking and day y'day we came closer, not romantically though. We became drinking friends and then things took turn sexually.

yyeeaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.

So we're fwb now. It's a good ride till now, because both of us do not want anything serious. After senpai, i don't think i'll be able to believe that anybody can love me. Anyway, we're having fun, and that's that. I met his friends and he already knew my flatmates. Nobody knows about our relationship, because he thinks people will not understand, and I agree. I mean what happened in Russia, after that I couldn't agree more with this.

I have settled here, The only thing that I wanted which is not happening is i didn't get any part-time job, yet. I tried, really, but i guess that was not enough. I am still trying hopefully I'll get it sooner or later. Life here is a little boring as of now. Mainly because i've got no friends like the ones i had in russia? Also, except uni, there are not a lot of things. I'm just happy that i'm independent here, not like Russia. Hopefully I'll write more from now on, because, I got a keyboard for my tab. It's not very good, but it was cheaper and I don't have a lot of money to spend. I haven't got a lot of friends tbh, only a bunch of okay-ish friends, let's hope they become my good friends in time or i find others.

[familyofpaladins]

Okay, I need to get this down before the monkie kid season 3 ending/special hits and proves me wrong Okay, so. I've had this theory/idea for how LBD gets defeated since I first watched the show last october. And after watching season 3, and reading the summaries for the specials, I think it could still work Anyway, the idea is It's the final battle. Their plans didnt work. Monkey King has been captured and controlled, and not even the Samadhi fire worked against any of them. Everyone is hurt and barely hanging on. MK, sees his friends in distress and decides to do something absolutely crazy that he has no idea if it'll even work. He gives himself up to LBD. Now whether he gets thrown in "the soup" or he gets turned to stone like he almost did back at the end of season 2. His power (and his soul) get absorbed by LBD. BUT. We get to see this like. Mind-scape place. Idk exactly how itd look, but theres basically a lot of energy/ wispy souls/power of the spider gang and monkey king and MK's own power swirling around like a hurricane. And at the center, confined by ghostly chains, is a little girl. LBD's host. And Mk talks to her. She's obviously scared and frustrated because she cant do anything while the bone spirit is controlling her. Mk tries to comfort her. May or may not succeed very well at it. He tells her that SHE is probably the only one who CAN stop LBD. "Its your body! Your mind! Take control!" "I can't!! I have no powers! Look at me! I'm literally chained here. I cant do this on my own." "You're not alone. I'm here, and I'm going to help you." "But, I can't do this. I'm not... strong or brave enough." "As someone very important to me once said, You just have to believe in yourself. Even a smidge makes all the difference" :) And Mk would literally give her some of his power directly to the host. And we'd literally see them PULL their own powers back to them and break the icy chains, and we'd see the Host literally fight back against the bone spirits. Slowly gaining control. On the outside we'd see MK's friends all freaking out about MK being over taken. And barely keeping themselves out of LBD'S grasp. She's probably monologuing or about to finish them off when, she winces or the attack isnt as powerful as she thought. Monkie crew is all ??? As she suddenly seems to be fighting with herself, eyes going back and forth between glowing blue or not (or glowing orange/gold from MK's powers). And eventually she collapses. And when she gets back up again... "Did I do it? I think I did it. I DID IT!!!" The host takes back control. The bone spirit is still there, but now the host is in control. No switching to another host this time. And then slowly we'd see everyone returning to normal that was taken by LBD (the spiders, monkey king, ?the mayor?? , and eventually mk) Mk obviously gets squashed in a hug by everyone for being so reckless. Anyway yeah that's the gist of it. I just really like the idea of "misdirection" of mk surrendering and making LBD think she'd won, when really he was bringing her downfall from the inside out. Also really like the idea of Mk repeating the line about believing in yourself to the host. :) And, I don't know how they truly plan to get rid of the bone spirit, so I think the host having control of it, would be neat

[scrabble-scribbles]

Ronancetober Day 1: Upside Down

YES IM LATE IM SORRY i was busy with the other october stuff anyway this is sad

Warnings: Major Character Death

They shouldn’t be here. This was never a situation Nancy had wanted to be in, especially not with Robin. Not like this.

The taller girl was wheezing for air, an arm wrapped around her midsection to try and stop the blood spilling from her stomach. Nancy was standing in front of her, shotgun aimed at the mouth of the cave.

Slime dripped down from the rock, and demogorgons shrieked outside. The corpse of the dog that had attacked them was two feet ahead of her, its head blown to smithereens.

“Nance,” Robin gasped, her voice getting weaker with each second. “Nancy.”

She lowered her gun, backing away from the entrance and crouching by the other girl. 

“Hey,” she said, pulling Robin’s hand away to check her injury. Robin whimpered in pain, and Nancy muttered an apology.

The dog had cut four deep gashes into her stomach, each one still bleeding way too much. The skin around each injury was filthy, covered in slime from the dogs and ash and dirt from the ground.

Robin’s skin was too pale under all the grime, and her eyes were drifting shut.

“Rob, you need to stay awake, ok?” Nancy said, pulling her jacket off and pressing it to the wounds. Robin barely flinched at the touch, eyes fluttering open. “Just talk to me.”

She coughed, so weakly Nancy’s heart started racing. “Talk about what?” She mumbled. “The slime?”

The fabric in her hands was already soaked with blood, too much, too much blood for anyone to lose, and she nodded, forcing a smile onto her face.

“Yeah, the slime, the rocks, anything you want,” she said. “Just keep talking to me, ok?”

“Ok,” Robin said, her nose crinkling as she thought. “Did I tell you about…”

Nancy let Robin’s words fade into the background, nodding every once and a while, still pressing on her stomach. The bleeding seemed to be slowing down, and Robin was still talking, they had a chance.

“Nancy?” Her head snapped up, staring at Robin’s face. A bloody hand took her wrist, pulling it up to her face.

“Yeah, Robbie?” She asked, furiously blinking back tears. “What is it?”

Robin smiled, her teeth stained red too, and she took nancy’s other wrist with her hand, pulling it away from the cloth. 

“You have to go,” she said. Her voice was so quiet, and Nancy’s heart froze. “You have to.”

“I’m not leaving you,” she said, trying to get her hands back to Robin’s stomach. Robin wouldn’t let go. “Robin,” she said, moving her hands. “Let go, you’re still bleeding.”

“Too much, nance,” she mumbled, words slurring in her mouth. “Too much blood. They’re going to smell it.”

“I dont care,” she said. “I am not leaving you, we’re going to get out of here, and go find Steve, and go home.”

Robin was barely breathing, and Nancy sobbed. 

“Robin, dont you dare leave me,” she said, cupping the other girl’s face. “You are going to get home, we are going home, just stay with me. Please.”

“Not goin anywhere, Nonce,” she said. “You need to go.”

She pulled the taller girl closer, shaking her till her eyes opened again.

“Not without you,” she said, hating how much her voice was shaking. “I’m not leaving you. Ever.”

Robin’s head drooped, forehead dropping to her shoulder, and she whispered, “I’m so tired, Nance.”

Nancy hugged her, arms squeezing Robin’s body tight enough that they were shaking. “Please, Robin, just stay awake, just a little longer, please,” she begged, kissing the girl’s sweaty temple. “Just listen to my voice, keep fighting, please.”

Her lips moved against Nancy’s skin, something unintelligible. Robin somehow managed to lift her arms enough to wrap around Nancy’s shaking body, fingers digging into her jacket. 

“Love you, nance,” she said, so quietly it almost went unheard. “Love you.”

“I love you too, Robin, so much,” Nancy whispered, gently running her fingers through Robin’s filthy hair. “I love you, please.”

She didn’t even know what she was pleading for, for Robin to be ok, for Steve and the others to find them, to wake up and be glad this was all just a dream? 

Robin’s breathing was slow, and so, so shallow it was almost gone, and Nancy kissed her cheek, her nose, thumb brushing over her cheekbone.

A sliver of blue peeked out from her eyelids, and she smiled, barely the slightest curl of a lip.

Robin leaned in, pressing her lips to Nancy’s, and the older girl sobbed, cupping her face with her hands as she kissed her back.

When they broke apart, Nancy couldnt see her breathing.

“Robin?” She said. Nothing. She shook her, lightly, just trying to wake her up. “Robin!”

Her eyes were still open, but they were looking at nothing, the blue already clouded over, her chest no longer moving to take in air.

“No, no no no no, please, no!” 

Nancy squeezed her body to her own, hiding her face in Robin’s neck, holding the back of her head, desperately searching for a pulse, a single breath of air.

Nothing. 

Absolutely nothing.

“Robin,” she sobbed out, leaning back far enough to see her face, that crooked smile frozen on her lips. “No.”

Faintly, she could hear the sounds of a Demogorgon howling, the sounds of four-legged creatures running towards her. She lowered Robin’s body to the ground, closing her eyes. The shotgun was at her side, and she picked it up, racking it once, and aiming it at the cave’s mouth. 

The first one appeared, and she screamed, blasting a hole through its side.

“Steve, down here!”

Eddie’s voice drew his attention away from the blood spatters on the rocks, and he ran to see what he’d found.

Eddie’s face was ashen gray, horrified at what he was looking at, and Steve shoved him aside, stumbling over his own feet when he saw what Eddie was staring at.

There were scattered pieces of Demogorgon carcasses scattered across the mouth of the cave, more whole as they got further in. A few had been stabbed, or hit with rocks, or just blown apart by a shotgun. 

On top of the demogorgon blood was human blood, red and still wet enough to be visible.

Robin’s body was leaning against a wall, her eyes shut and mouth curled into a small grin, four bloody gashes across her stomach, a couple of cuts on her jaw. Nancy was on her stomach, two feet away from her, her back torn open by claws and fangs. 

Her hand was holding Robin’s, curled around the other girl’s fingers in one last desperate embrace.