#like fym PALE......
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chicxulubimpactor · 6 months ago
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every single x reader i've seen for this character is fem reader bro fuck my stupid baka life
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nelliarae · 1 year ago
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this post somehow made *me* of all people not want to be a vampire thats crazy
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idontknowreallyidontcare · 1 year ago
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You and Husband!König sleep in a bed that would be able to welcome at least another 2 people. Truth is Colonel wants to be comfortable, he’s not risking his life on the field, sleeping in beds and places too small for him, just to come home to another small bed. He also moves a lot, he is funny, you always make a fool out of him because yea, he does sleep naked most of the time, but he has some kind of loose briefs he sometimes puts on, that have holes too large, letting his dick slip out easily. Finding him in the mornings with a ball hanging out on his thigh is something pretty normal for you, you tease him for it, but things don’t always go smoothly. Unfortunately for you König moves a lot during nighttime, and by a lot I mean A LOT, you can find him sleeping in weird positions and it would be normal. One particular morning, you’re trying to find his face, to caress him and hear his soft hums as he wakes up from your touch… well, what you have exchanged for a brief moment as his cheek, feels a bit too wrinkled. You go pale and your eyes open wide at the speed of the light. Yes, you just grabbed one of your husband’s balls, you scream and he wakes up. You really do hate those silly boxers. And hate how in a big bed like this one, he still manages to sleep close to you, waking you up with his dick almost onto your face a good amount of times! STOP!!!
Now he had a slip at the KorTac gym too, rookies would look at him like he’s some kind of monster but in a positive way, he does have some big balls, matching his stance, and his big cock.
Also in the showers everyone is kinda intimidated to wash next to him, because yeah, again, he’s just that big in there, and he has piercings, remember!?? People would steal glances, gulping at the sight of his cock and heavy balls just… hanging in there ig???
I hc him as being close not only to Horangi, but also with Nikto, so they would tease him a lot, making jokes about “do it clap when u fuck?” And he’ll be looking at them like 🤨 “fym? My balls? Or my cheeks?” lmaoooo he is a boomer but he has access to internet, he’s aware of ongoing memes and all that ‘young people crap going around”.
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mattscoquette · 7 months ago
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how do u think chris or nick would react if they walked in on u and matt
im talking ur face down ass up cumming your brains out and chris and nick walk in and are like are you okay? we heard screaming? and they just are not even realizing what couldve been happening if that makes sense
like they just walk in and ask and ur eyes are too far back in ur head to see their faces and ur ears are buzzing and u dont hear them until its too late
(not me getting into it 🙁)
also bro i have a crazy question- what if ur face down ass up and u queef bc thats happened to me before 😔 i was stretching and it just happened
having a puss is so complicated bro 😒 like fym i fart front to back make it make sense its not fair
(i js read a fic abt them catching u guys and i wanna know ur take bc i think they would just flip out. like go pale and scream and then shut the door freaking out)
bazinga, 🌺
i think they would like freeze for a sec and then realize what’s going on and run out and lock themselves away for the rest of the night. after that they learn to knock
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