#like fym PALE......

[chicxulubimpactor]

every single x reader i've seen for this character is fem reader bro fuck my stupid baka life

[nelliarae]

this post somehow made *me* of all people not want to be a vampire thats crazy

[idontknowreallyidontcare]

You and Husband!König sleep in a bed that would be able to welcome at least another 2 people. Truth is Colonel wants to be comfortable, he’s not risking his life on the field, sleeping in beds and places too small for him, just to come home to another small bed. He also moves a lot, he is funny, you always make a fool out of him because yea, he does sleep naked most of the time, but he has some kind of loose briefs he sometimes puts on, that have holes too large, letting his dick slip out easily. Finding him in the mornings with a ball hanging out on his thigh is something pretty normal for you, you tease him for it, but things don’t always go smoothly. Unfortunately for you König moves a lot during nighttime, and by a lot I mean A LOT, you can find him sleeping in weird positions and it would be normal. One particular morning, you’re trying to find his face, to caress him and hear his soft hums as he wakes up from your touch… well, what you have exchanged for a brief moment as his cheek, feels a bit too wrinkled. You go pale and your eyes open wide at the speed of the light. Yes, you just grabbed one of your husband’s balls, you scream and he wakes up. You really do hate those silly boxers. And hate how in a big bed like this one, he still manages to sleep close to you, waking you up with his dick almost onto your face a good amount of times! STOP!!!

Now he had a slip at the KorTac gym too, rookies would look at him like he’s some kind of monster but in a positive way, he does have some big balls, matching his stance, and his big cock.

Also in the showers everyone is kinda intimidated to wash next to him, because yeah, again, he’s just that big in there, and he has piercings, remember!?? People would steal glances, gulping at the sight of his cock and heavy balls just… hanging in there ig???

I hc him as being close not only to Horangi, but also with Nikto, so they would tease him a lot, making jokes about “do it clap when u fuck?” And he’ll be looking at them like 🤨 “fym? My balls? Or my cheeks?” lmaoooo he is a boomer but he has access to internet, he’s aware of ongoing memes and all that ‘young people crap going around”.

[mattscoquette]

how do u think chris or nick would react if they walked in on u and matt

im talking ur face down ass up cumming your brains out and chris and nick walk in and are like are you okay? we heard screaming? and they just are not even realizing what couldve been happening if that makes sense

like they just walk in and ask and ur eyes are too far back in ur head to see their faces and ur ears are buzzing and u dont hear them until its too late

(not me getting into it 🙁)

also bro i have a crazy question- what if ur face down ass up and u queef bc thats happened to me before 😔 i was stretching and it just happened

having a puss is so complicated bro 😒 like fym i fart front to back make it make sense its not fair

(i js read a fic abt them catching u guys and i wanna know ur take bc i think they would just flip out. like go pale and scream and then shut the door freaking out)

bazinga, 🌺

i think they would like freeze for a sec and then realize what’s going on and run out and lock themselves away for the rest of the night. after that they learn to knock

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

Ok the more you talk about Rhea the more I need to know everything about her so if you have anything not spoiler-y about her to info dump, I’m here for it👀

My babygirl? My spooky-eyed pookie? Yorick’s little girl? Cregan's wifey?

I've drawn her, & answered a few asks about her, but I love her so I will definitely talk more lol.

She's going to be a POV character once she gets a litter older & is having actual, complex thought

She never really got over the biting phase. Like, did everyone teach her that you don't bite people? Yes. But all that did was domesticate her lol

She is Uncle Aemon's Special Little Guy

Rhea is a daddy's girl, but above that she is a girls' girl. Loves having girl besties, loves & supports them, big proponent of women's wrongs

I've dropped this in fic, but she has a dragon. Kathalak: a white & pale blue she-dragon from one of Syrax's clutches.

She is loyal to the point of threatening murder, & she will pick her Runestone family over her Targaryen family. Don't get me wrong, she loves the Targtowers (perhaps not equally), but if they are a threat to the safety of her siblings or her cousin Abby (who is @emilykaldwen's Abby) or one of Aunt Ella's kids she will bite them at best & threaten to murder them at worst.

If the guy who wants to marry her doesn't look at her like her dad looks at her mom, she doesn't want it. Match her freak or gtfo, she is more than what she politically brings to the table. (And she is more than Ella Lite)

She is definitely the leader of the Runestone Girl Squad (not to be confused with the Bro Squad her brother is the leader of)

Teensiest Weensiest little spoiler: but by the time I reach my epilogue she's going to have had 2 (maybe 3?) kids & her oldest is named "Sansa" because that's what I deserve

*points at Aegon* that's her weird, annoying big brother, your honor, & it is their jobs to menace each other

BBG is bisexual & gets thrown for a fucking loop when she starts noticing boys. "Fym those things are cute? Fym I want to kiss them? I was supposed to only want to kiss girls! I want my money back (and maybe to touch a man's tits)!"

She is just as gregarious as her Aunt Ella & she finds it really easy to make friends & integrate them into her pre-existing group. She's a little judgey & can be rough-around-the-edges, but it's part of the charm & once she gets to a point where you've passed the vibe check (bc she is willing to give second chances) then she just wants to facilitate making the friend group Really Fucking Big. What can I say, she loves having people to hang out with