#like fuck i already caught covid i dont also need to be both someones personal vendetta victim and also my mothers emotional punching bag

[the2amrevolution]

As FNF was the painfully applicable to my situation song of 5-star, cover me is for rock-star.

[videostak]

I have no idea where this lying thing started with my mom. Like idk alot of the problems began to become rly bad around covid til present and its hard to think of the exact moment but its just insane i have no idea what to do w/ someone who is so comfortable constantly lying. And its not like a lying in specific situations type scenario she will just constantly lie w/o any shame even if we're all telling her we know shes lying. Like a therapist is def the only option that could help but i dont even know how much help it will do since shes so comfortable lying to people right to their faces that idk how many sessions shed need to tell the truth even once. I hate that i feel invested in this again mainly cause i dont want my sister to feel as awful abt it as i kno she does and also will make the situation w/ my dad and mom worse very badly and i dont want my little sister to continue to be raised so badly. My mom used to be genuinely a good hearted person since both me and my sister turned out respectful n stuff its just heartbreaking how much she just worsens our relationship w/ her and the lying is honestlu worse than the drinking cause it makes any communication impossible. She told me the following day after we talked that she wasnt gonna drink and is gonna change and less than two days later already bought two wine bottles. I hate having this fear knowing theres only so much she can drink b4 she gets into an accident and at this point i just pray it doesnt happen when she has somebody else in the car. Its insane how much she just totally disregards so much of what she taught us as kids. Lying isnt a problem for her nor is drunk driving and she constantly gaslights us when we show concern. All she does now is beg for forgiveness whenever she gets caught. Rn u feel saddled w/ trying to make a change but i cant even look at her. I hope a breakthrough can happen soon just incase i get that thrift job cause if i do get i know things are gonna get worse w/ no one home. I just rly cant stand her and it drives me so mad. A week ago i was able to be unfazed by it but now i feel involved again since if nothing changes she could end up srsly hurting family members that i do care for. Like i hope therapy can make some change buy thatll take a very long while but the fact that shes doing it shows she atleast wants to try but idk it just is fucked. I am a happy person tho its not getting me down cause i am v optimistic abt this thrift job. And just trying to be at peace. W/ my own life.

[kaguraspetsims]

UPDATES!!! The good the bad and the ugly tbh lol

SO I GOT THE JOB!!!

its very close to the place where i worked last, but ive told my new manager about things that have transpired and why things went down how they did, and she has reassured me that 1) she gives a lot of fucks about covid, both bc she and her family are high risk but also bc she understands its a real threat, and 2) im a person with a life and not just a number. She has made it super clear what she expects from her workers and what she wants to give back and I can’t explain how much I appreciate that.

ALSO I’ve been talking to my coworker about how things have been at my old job. Hoo boy.

I filed an OSHA complaint with the store a little while back, bc frankly i dont think multiple employees catching it is a good look, let alone the fact that theyre doubling that with their lack of 1) encouraging employees to be tested and 2) lack of cleaning skills (one of the departments i worked at frequently was out of cleaning supplies almost every shift i had there, and bc I was isolated, I would have to ask for them to bring me more and I would never receive it).

WELL.

Talked to my coworker today, and, after several complaints regarding how management has been getting more and more terrible, he brought up the idea of filing a complaint to OSHA. I told him that actually, I had already done so. When he said “oh so that was you then, I figured as much,” I just had to ask how he knew there was a complaint in the first place (I’ll admit, I was curious about if they bitched about someone complaining or not, but it is so much worse it’s laughable).

Last night, one of our other coworkers found the letter that OSHA had sent to the store. Fun fact: it was placed on the bulletin board. Funner fact: it was hidden behind a bunch of other things, so people didn’t immediately see it was there.

I was also told that this letter explains why there was an entire fucking cleaning crew in hazmat suits at the store one night after close. To which I now wonder:

How long was that letter there that people didn’t know why the crew was there??

TO TOP IT OFF, when asked about why the crew was there, management just ignored their questions.

Like, I don’t know how this kind of shit isn’t illegal honestly. Let’s count it all: HR being actively super sketchy and withholding information from me, not properly paying me despite my MONTHS of absence due to a global virus I caught at THEIR store (which I can prove bc I hadn’t been anywhere else within the 4 day period of being exposed to showing symptoms), not ONE person in management positions giving a fuck and in fact encouraging me to keep working, not encouraging my coworkers who were around me/touching things i had touched to get tested (they don’t have to namedrop me with all details to say “hey we need you to get tested”), and lets not forget corporate has been cutting hours MASSIVELY, right around the holiday season. Just for the record, working too many hours can cause a lot of issues, including weaker immune systems due to stress. Weaker immune systems are hella bad in the midst of a global pandemic, ESPECIALLY when there’s a slew of anti mask fuckwads running around these stores. Now top it all off with the possibility of employees seeing their families for Christmas, and BOOM, you’ve just caused an outbreak!!

Also for anyone wondering - due to the fact that this corporation, with MULTIPLE complaints about their handling of covid, has stores throughout the US, I am inclined to give you the name of the corporation. HOWEVER, I am incredibly concerned with any legal actions they may choose to take should they decide their feelings are hurt that employees are rightfully upset with them endangering their lives and livlihoods. I’m at the point where I’d even give hints if I could because I hate the idea that people will unknowingly visit these stores that could very well have asymptomatic employees at best. I’m just incredibly frightened for my mental and financial well being should I put the name out there.

It really sucks that I have to fear for my own safety more than the overall safety of the general public, but that’s the kind of fucking situation corporations put you in when they royally fuck you over I gues.

Interview today 👀