#like friends? eh I can sorta handle it. strangers too. but Kind Of Strangers But Not Really?

[yvningshowers]

Me: hm I wonder where I got my social anxiety from

My mom: *avoiding her own friends that she made me come out to see, on her phone, laughing awkwardly, avoiding eye contact*

Me: yeah no clue. no idea. I am Unique and Neverbefore Seen

[yokelish]

Rhetorical.

This is not easy-peasy-lemon-squizzy. This is difficult-fucking-difficult. 

I hate myself for the person I am because my first reaction was “that’s a drag, I don’t remember much of the manga already”. But then I remembered complex human relationships is nyom-nyom-nyom. And so fell in love with working on it more and more as I went. So here you go, @gogolparadise​

Unfortunately, I am one of those people who doesn’t blame Ango for Oda’s death. My blaming scale looks more like this: Gide, Oda, Mori, everyone else. I blame Oda for Oda’s death, mostly. And there’s no denial about who shot Odasaku in the first place. But Ango isn’t blameless. He done fuck up.

I won’t write how and when Dazai sabotaged the airbag, I am sure even he wouldn’t know it either. P L O T. The scene between Ango and Dazai unfolded differently in manga and anime. And I like manga’s version better. I rarely use Japanese respectful suffixes like “san” and “kun”, but here….it’s sorta important.

✏ Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs ✏ Characters: Dazai Osamu, Ango Sakaguchi  ✏ Word count: 2,166 ✏ Warnings: none? 

Rhetorical.

He couldn’t deny the fact that having a gun in his hand felt distantly pleasant. The power and control that came with the weight in his hand would add more pleasure to it. But the weapon was oddly light compared to his memories of handling one. It wasn’t loaded. A good decision: a smart and safe decision. If Dazai couldn’t trust himself, he could trust in the distrust people have for him. And no one would know that better than someone he once called a friend. The two loyal guard dogs wouldn’t be able to stop him if that’s what he wanted. The resting blade against his neck only sharpened that tiny thrill coursing through his veins. It was bringing up old memories of having his life on the line every other day. The sound of raining shots, the lightning bolt shine of it, the heat of the muzzle afterwards. And the lingering smell of gunpowder. Unloading the gun was the smartest decision his once-friend had ever made. Because Dazai also couldn’t deny the fact that when it was aimed at the back of Ango’s head, it felt invigorating.

“What on earth made you think…” Dazai asked calmly. “…that I had forgiven you?” He didn’t regret asking. The question didn’t need to be answered. There was no need to have a conversation about that part of history. After all, there was too much to forgive, and Dazai didn’t even start on it. But asking had to clearly state where they stand.

“I was the one who cleaned your record when you fled the Mafia. If anything, you are the one who owes me,” Ango replied, unfazed by the threat, and even sounding a little exasperated.

“Alright.” Dazai easily dropped the threat, the aim of the gun, the feeling coursing through his veins. “The gun isn’t loaded. You knew I’d do that.”

A hand was offered to collect the empty weapon. “I am glad you catch on so quickly.” The man in glasses offered a calm, collected smile, with a little amusement traced in the lines of his face. Dazai would roll his eyes at this if the man wasn’t so obviously looking. Credit given where its due, Ango wasn’t slow on the uptake — always deceitfully sharp. But Dazai didn’t appreciate proximity or eye-contact. Least of all he wanted to grow an appreciation for Ango’s quick thinking, stoic and neutral approach, and overall efficiency. He remembered the man from the past too vividly, and separating those images was harder than it should have been. Liar. Traitor.

“If we are not rekindling our old friendship,” Sakaguchi spoke again, more hesitantly this time. “…What do you want?”

How eloquent and bold it was to say that there was something to rekindle between them. When a torch goes out, you look for a fire to light it again. You don’t wet the cloth and chop up the wooden stick. And you sure do not let the torch burn to ashes. If so, there was nothing to rekindle.

With his back to Ango, Dazai allowed himself to smile. The half-masks he knew how to transform and switch seamlessly. His goals were for him to know. Ango would find out soon enough. The bandaged man shifted his smile into a childish grin. “Oooh…” He patted the roof of the car. “You government men drive fine cars, eh?”

The government man graced him with an unamused stare. A sharp look of a man who didn’t want his car touched in such manner. Pity, really, that should be the least of his worries. Government men drive fine cars, but there are many fine cars in this world.

Ex-Mafia rested his elbow on the car if only to gauge a reaction out of the man he once made a mistake to call friend. “Care to go for a drive?” Dazai didn’t regret asking. The question didn’t need to be answered.

Fine cars indeed… For what those government men got those fancy cars Dazai could only guess. “It’s your job to keep those skill-oriented crimes in check, isn’t it? You mustn’t shirk your duty like that.” He spoke leisurely, enjoying, savouring. There was something sickeningly amusing in the ease of the situation. The tension that was visibly lacking in the air. Ango’s safe driving befitting of a good citizen. The calm Dazai couldn’t help but feel. He almost felt guilty about it, too. The calm that comes with the knowledge of what’s to come. And yet, by all canons of the world, it should not be as easy as breathing.

“We have been keeping tabs on the Guild as well,” Ango finally gave a reply fitting for a government man. A limited, careful answer.

Dazai’s interest was piqued by the narrowness of such words. “You knew…and you simply let them be? Do I have that right?” He knew he did. The question didn’t need to be answered. But he didn’t regret asking, he savoured it without guilt.

“Unlike you, Dazai-kun, I believe in an honest day’s work,” Sakaguchi answered evenly, never taking his eyes off the road. “Do you even know what kind of kind of group the Guild is?”

Dazai could guess that this feeling inside him was glee. There was nothing compared to the feeling of knowing and seeing through the deceit of others even if that deceit was a delusion for one’s self. He cared little for the games the government played, he just despised them. He cared not for the power the Guild possessed, he just wanted to beat it.

“Oh my, wait a moment,” the bandaged man said. “This discussion is taking a strange turn.”

“This is politics, Dazai-kun.”

That’s an exceptionally fine carpet word for lies, deception, manipulation, power play and the like. Perhaps, it was a matter of perception, the things one believes in. If perception can stop you from seeing the world upside-down, if it can grant you the vividness of colours and appreciation for abstract, then it surely must be able to install a belief in the greater good.

“…to grant immunity to their members…”

Like Ango believing in an honest day’s work. Or Atsushi believing in his own worthlessness or that saving people will justify his existence. Like Kunikida upholding his ideals stronger than any other man alive.

“…truly, above the law…”

Perhaps, it was all about the installed moral compass within a person. The lines one draws to walk a straight path. Those constructed margins of morality that should never be crossed lest the world changes its meaning or loses it completely. Dazai’s compass had been broken for the longest time, he could admit that much. There were too many bold strokes beyond the margins: crosses, stains, incomprehensible lines made in indifference and irresponsibility.

“…they’re surveilling our little conference even now…”

But, truly, how morally superior is the government handling the bizarre world of skill-users compared to the Mafia? He couldn’t be the one to judge and tell. He couldn’t understand.

“Dazai-kun, start running away. Now.” The urgency in Ango’s voice brought him back to the oncoming reality. Whatever emotions were hidden behind the glasses, Dazai couldn’t press into his memory. The mind was too preoccupied. He pressed back into the seat — a response of his body to the upcoming and unavoidable danger. The thought of dying had never once scared him, but pain, broken bones, and the like — loathed.

“Run, and tell your agents that danger will find them soon —” It didn’t matter what the answer was. There was no need for it.

If there were indeed parallel worlds — an infinite number of possibilities of the current one — then it could be different. In another world, perhaps, it could be different. They could have never met and, thus, never had their past shared. Two perfect strangers to each other — two parallels never meeting. In a different world where the events unfolded differently, where they still met, became friends and met in a bar with, preferably, a similar menu. In a world where he didn’t die, they could remain forever as they were back then. Dazai would feed them his terrible tofu and talks about suicide. They could eat and drink together while sharing nonsensical stories. There would be no guilt or regret. But that would have to be a different world.

In this world, Sakaguchi Ango, a government agent, successfully infiltrated Port Mafia and then Mimic. In this world, Sakaguchi survived in the Mafia and climbed the ranks. In this world, he had successfully pretended to be a friend to Dazai Osamu, youngest Executive in history, and Sakunosuke Oda, the lowest of the ranks. He done so not out of necessity but because he could. In this world, Sakunosuke Oda was dead, killed in confrontation with Mimic. Ango’s betrayal of the Mafia didn’t matter in the least. After all, Dazai had done so too: even he wasn’t such a hypocrite. In this world what mattered was the death of a man who didn’t get to write his novel. In this world, Dazai Osamu wasn’t a better man to forgive. In this world, ex-Mafia held grudges despite knowing the regret of another.

If he were in a different world and was a different human being, he would understand the necessity for the flowers when visiting a hospital. But he wasn’t, and he didn’t really understand it. Nonetheless, he had done it. A man who believes in honest day’s work deserved that much, at least.

“Why, hello there, Ango!” Dazai’s chirpy voice carried through the ward. “How are you doing?” With a bouquet and a basket of consumable goods as visiting protocol dictates. And a bright friendly smile, of course. “Well, you look lovely,” Dazai lied effortlessly, seamlessly. He had done so not out of necessity but because he could. “I have a fine story for you!”

It was in the very same bar where the three of them met that he witnessed it: regret. Sakaguchi Ango, a government agent who infiltrated Port Mafia and climbed the ranks, expressed regret. Perhaps, that alone was the thing that steadied the Executive’s hand. That, and Odasaku’s presence. Unfortunately, there was no more Odasaku to steady the bandaged Executive’s hand. Only the words of a friend now gone to guide this ex-mafioso.

It was much later that Dazai truly saw the guilt behind the round glasses. It’s much easier to recognize guilt in others when experienced. He couldn’t tell if it was cleverly hidden from others or if Ango had hid from himself.

“Thirty-five count murderer?” the bedbound man asked, unsurprised. Dazai was a visitor but he sure wasn’t a good one after eating from the basket. According to him, that’s what he planned. According to everyone else who could be in the room to pass judgement: selfish, inconsiderate, and even mocking. He didn’t do it out of necessity but because he could.

“Murder is murder,” Sakaguchi stated simply. Dazai remained a patient listener despite how easy it would be to probe at wounds unhealed, to uncap the bottled regret, to stir their shared but erased past. He knew full well what murder was. So did Ango. But the thing about murder and death is that it often was accompanied with guilt. And guilt was a disobedient spirit: it didn’t follow you because you murdered, it followed because it could. For all that Ango did, for all the lies and treacherous moves, Dazai knew one thing for sure: in the moment it mattered most he had nothing to offer Odasaku to cling to. In that vital moment all he could offer were pitiful words that wouldn’t even convince a child. If he had to live with the guilt of it, he would.

“…if you seek other help…I’d be glad to do that.”

“Is that so?” Dazai asked, getting up from the chair. That was all he needed to hear. The task was accomplished. “Well, I’ll be back.”

“Dazai-kun.”

That stalled him at the doorway.

“I am accepting your offer of treatment in exchange for support. So just tell me one more thing.” Sakaguchi Ango was deceptively sharp as ever and just as calm. “When we were struck by that mystery vehicle, the airbag on my side alone failed to inflate. Would you happen to know the reason?”

Just as Ango doesn’t put his regret and guilt out on display, Dazai, too, had trick to hide his darkness. If guilt was a disobedient spirit, then darkness was a parasite set on self-destruction.

Oh, he hoped to make his once-friend regret the question. For it would be easy to hide the smile with his back to Ango. It would be equally as easy to switch one smile for another. But there was no need for that. Whatever it was he hid, the other would soon find out. Dazai allowed himself to smile with sincere darkness of his mind and offer it to the man who betrayed him. There was no need for an answer.

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

Damstache - An Unexpected Meeting

A rarepair, I know. For some reason, I had a sudden urge to write this ship between Damien and Wilford before work. Since I normally write Damien in a modern setting, it would be easier for them to meet! Now that I have time, I’m gonna give it a whirl.

Ship name taken onboard from this wonderful piece.

-

A case of mistaken identity leads Wilford to start talking to a stranger. But as it turns out, it might be exactly who he was looking for.

Word count: 1,500

-

Wilford had been on an errand of some sort. At least, he thought he had. He had left the studio set on a mission to do something, but by the time he reached the park gates, he had completely forgotten what he was supposed to do. Apparently, it was going to be one of ‘those’ days. No matter. Summer was starting to turn to autumn, but there was still enough of a warmth to walk around without a coat.

So he did. Going for a stroll might give his confused brain some time to figure out what he had wanted to do originally. In the meantime, he would enjoy the peace, and claim an empty swing in the playground. The children were back at school so he could absolutely use them!

As Wilford settled on the swing, he made sure his gun was safely disarmed so he wouldn’t accidentally shoot himself in the leg (again) before beginning to swing at a decent speed. The simple back-and-forth motions allowed his mind to wander and attempt to piece the holes in the story of the day. He wasn’t worried. He forgot things all the time. Places, names, events, even the simplest of things. That’s why he normally had people like Bim on hand to help fill in the gaps.

His attempt to distract his mind was itself distracted when he caught a glimpse of someone passing the playground. It was a young man, dressed in a light grey sweater vest, white shirt, and black trousers. He was walking slowly, his eyes glued to a book, yet able to easily navigate his surroundings. The swinging slowed to a halt as Wilford rose to his feet. That looked like someone he knew.

“Hey, hey! Excuse me, sir!”

Wilford was running to the man before his brain had registered what he was doing. The man froze mid-step and turned with a look of confusion. He was sure he hadn’t dropped anything. 

That look was so familiar, yet Wilford couldn’t place it. In fact, a second glance up and down made him realise what exactly he had done on impulse.

“Are… Are you alright?” The book was closed, and worry was clear as day on the man’s face as he tilted his head slightly. Such a simple action meant that not a hair fell out of place. It was perfectly combed back. It suited him rather nicely.

“I, uh… I’m sorry.” Wilford chuckled nervously, rubbing a hand through his dark curls. “I thought ya were someone else, but I have no idea who I mistook ya fer either. Forget I said anythin’.” Normally, that would be a normal person’s cue to take the bait and leave, but apparently this man was no such thing. If anything, he put the book in a bag Wilford hadn’t noticed and frowned.

“Is something the matter? You look troubled. Would talking about it help?” The offer was a surprise, as was the other gesturing to a nearby bench to sit at. Wilford nodded and followed. “I’m certainly no expert in the field, but I can wager a guess that you’d appreciate someone to talk to.”

“It ain’t anythin’ bad, before ya get yer worries started. I’ve gotta bit of a memory thing, see. I forget things sometimes. I dunno why I came here today, nor why I called out at ya.” Wilford raised his eyebrows with a grin. “But that’s nothin’ I can’t handle. I got ta meet someone new today. Ya got a name?” The question seemed to take the man by surprise, and Wilford could tell the other was relieved (for some reason).

“I’m sure that isn’t something to be reassured by, you know. Memory issues are a serious matter. I hope whatever it was you were meant to be doing today comes back to you.” The man paused for a moment, before offering a hand with a bright smile. “My name is Damien.”

Wilford is a veteran when it comes to relationships. He has dated people from all backgrounds, slept with so many different people. Yet all of that was meaningless when he saw that smile. Never had such a simple act made his heart feel like it was made of a hundred butterflies. Would it be bold to do something to make the stranger smile again? Or find a way for this to be more than a brief encounter? Would it be too rude to ask the man out on a date? Was he even romantically interested in men? If he wasn’t, would he mind Wilford being his wingman, because this man already deserved so much happiness. He hadn’t seen a ring, so the man absolutely wasn’t married, so there had to be something Wilford could do to -

“Uh… Hello?”

“Oh! Sorry! Wilford. Wilford Warfstache.” He took the hand that was thankfully still offered and shook it warmly. Then, before he could change his mind, he brought the hands close to him, and with a simple “at yer service”, kissed the back of Damien’s hand. The brief squeeze and look of surprise spoke a thousand words, but it was the little hint of heat on his cheeks that made the action worth it. “I’m sure it ain’t my place, an’ y’ve been told this a million times, but yer real cute when ya smile like that.”

“You wouldn’t be the first to tell me that… But thank you. Your words are kind.” That smile grew softer, and those hazel eyes darted aside in what could only be embarrassment. Wilford was onto something. If he could play his cards right, he might be able to spend more time with Damien.

“C’mon, don’t start that. I mean it, y’know. I know we don’t know each other, buuut I’d like ta get ta know ya better. ‘Course, if there’s someone else on th’ scene, reject me.” It was a hard habit to break, but Doc insisted it would help if ever Wilford wanted to ‘settle down’ one day. This prompted Damien to look at Wilford with surprise.

“N-no, there isn’t anyone. I… You don’t know anything about me aside from what I look like. That’s surely not a good measure of character.” Ah. Damien was one of those men. Nothing a little reassurance wouldn’t fix!

“Ya do realise this doesn’t tie ya down, right? I’d like ta buy ya a drink in a quiet place where we can chat. If there’s more ta come, that’s great. If there isn’t, I’d still like ta be yer friend. Yer willin’ ta help a stranger. Y’ve gotta heart of gold, Damien. I’ve been told I need ta find more ‘nice’ people in th’ city, but I didn’t think I’d find an angel.” That did the trick. Immediately, Damien seemed to become somewhat shy, which had Wilford wondering how cute this man could really be. “If ya don’t want ta, just say ‘no’. I’m a big boy. I can take rejection real well, promise.” Simple words, but enough to give Damien room to back out if this was all too much. Damien’s head shot around them, as though checking for something, before returning his attention to Wilford. There was something on his mind, but it only steeled his nerves as he nodded.

“One drink, Wilford. If possible, I would prefer to go somewhere quiet where I won’t be seen.”

“Oooh, a man of secrets, eh? I like that.”

“W-what? No. I -” Damien paused, one eyebrow lifting as he asked, “Do you know anything else about me? Aside from what you’ve said in this conversation.”

“... No? Should I? Are ya some sorta criminal overlord? If ya are, I want in.” Upon seeing the shock on Damien’s face, Wilford guffawed. “I’m kiddin’! Ya look like ya don’t walk on th’ grass in case ya hurt it! Don’t worry. I can get us ta a quiet place if ya can do two things fer me.” His free hand lifted as he continued, raising one finger for each point. “One, don’t freak out. Two, let me take a small payment in return fer safe passage.” Both requests were as odd as Wilford’s getup, but he couldn’t help it. Something about the larger man brought out his curiosity. Wilford didn’t know who he was. For one evening, at least, he might be able to spend time with a stranger as a stranger and not as the Mayor. Swallowing his nerves, Damien took a deep breath.

“Deal.”

One word was enough permission for Wilford to gently pull Damien to him - had they forgotten to let go after the handshake? - and kiss him on the cheek. Before Damien could object, the two vanished into thin air, off to a bar that should not be too busy.

The man was eccentric, that was undeniable. But maybe Damien needed a little fun in his mundane life.

The stranger was not who he expected at all. But Wilford was certain it was exactly who he needed, and who he didn’t want to lose.

[askcosplayaphcanada-archived]

85 Questions For Munday! (Below the cut)

I NEVER GET TAGGED IN THESE OMG BUT @ask-mr-biscuit TAGGED ME And I might have made an inhuman noise ok let’s go!  

And I dunno, they also tagged most of the poeple I would have tagged too, so.....SIS GET OVER HERE @asknyotaliacanada,....and @askaphgreatbritain, and... @ask--aph--feliciano

The last…

Drink: Tap water

Phone Call: My mother.

Text Message: My friend @queensolaria Song You Listened To: Um... La Llorona? (Because of Hetalia MMDs)

Cried: Yesterday, actually. Came very close today.

Dated Someone Twice: No, I’ve never gotten back together with an ex, though I am still good friends with some of them.

Kissed Someone and Regretted It: Yes. I feel bad because it was a summer camp fling, and we started ‘dating’, and I was his first kiss, but we failed to stay in touch after that week. ;~; Poor guy....I hope he doesn’t hate me now. Been Cheated On: I hope not... Lost Someone Special: Yes. Been Depressed: Yes.

Gotten Drunk and Thrown Up: I’ve actually never been drunk- however, I do drink a little bit.

In the last year, have you…

Made New Friends: Yeah. ^u^

Fallen Out of Love: ...sorta yes, sorta no. I’m single, at any rate.

Laughed Until You Cried: Pretty sure I’ve done that withen the last week.

Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: My Dad talks about me all the time tbh.

Met Someone Who Changed You: Hrmm...now that I don’t know.

Found Out Who Your Real Friends Were: I know who they are already, so..

Kissed Someone On Your Facebook List: Yes, considering two of them are my ex’s, xP

General

How Many Facebook Friends Do You Know in Real Life:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Do You Have Any Pets: I have my cat, Tyson. You’ll see in gifs from time to time, because he’s an adorable git. 

Do You Want to Change Your Name: Yes and no. I don’t feel like my name suits me, but I was named after my great grandmother and I dunno, it’d feel wrong to officially get rid of it. But I do like being called by my online handle, Jehdyn. If I DID ever get it changed, I’d spell it like Jaden. 

What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: It fell on the same day as a cosplay meet up this year, so I was out being Matthew Williams.

What Time Did You Wake Up: I have no idea. Probably around noon, I don’t know. 

What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night: Reading bad fanfiction I think.

Name Something You Can’t Wait For: Me to get my life together. :)

When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mom: Hrmm...I think last week, though we spoke on the phone today.

What Are You Listening to Right Now: Well I have this video going on in another tab xD

Have You Ever Talked to a Person Named Tom: I don’t think so? At least, I can’t remember at the moment. 

Something That is Getting On Your Nerves: People.

Most Visited Website: Youtube, Tumblr, Facebook, and Ebay. :/

Hair Color: A really weird shade of dyed brown. Was blue until a few weeks ago until I had to attempt to dye it back natural to renew my driver’s license. It’s naturally a dark chocolate brown though. 

Long or Short: Long or short what? 

Do You Have A Crush on Anyone: I...don’t know. Like...I’m demi-pan, so like...sure there’s people who I find to be attractive, but they’d have to find me attractive too and start flirting with me I guess for me to really develop any ‘crush’ emotions. And even then, it’s sort of up in the air? 

What Do You Like About Yourself: Nothing. :)  Well, I can’t make some people smile somehow, so I like that I guess.

Piercings: My ears are pierced, but I rarely wear earrings. 

Blood Type: I have no idea, wish I could find out, but I don’t like needles.

Nickname: Jehdyn and Canada, xD. Though a few people still call me Kura.

Relationship Status: Single and afraid. ;w;

Zodiac: Cancer. It’s actually scary how accurate some of those astrology memes are (and hilariously inaccurate.) 

Pronouns:  I am She/Her, though I absolutely don’t mind being called He/Him either. I consider ambiguity a compliment. 

Favorite TV Show: Honestly I don’t watch that much TV...

Tattoos: Probably never. Again, I don’t like needles. If I ever did though, it’d probably be somthing painfully Canadian, like the leaf or something. Don’t know where though.

Right or Left Handed: Right

Surgery: Nope.

Sport: Well...I used to play a little bit of Basketball back in school, but I’m terrible at it. My favourite sport to watch though is Ice Hockey (though I never get to watch it). And the sport(?) I actually do enjoy playing is badminton, though I haven’t played that in years.

Vacation: I can’t really afford much right now, but currently, I really want to go camping.

Pair of Tennis Shoes: What about them?

More General

Eating: (favourite food?) Um...pizza....fried chicken...my Mom’s lasagna. 

Drinking: Tap water still.

I’m About To: Find another Hetalia mmd on youtube to watch.

Waiting For: Information on Hetalia Day 2017. Seriously, I kind of want to go to one this year but there’s no information ANYWHERE. ;~;  Everything I find is for last year? Do people not start planning for it til the month of?

Want: To win the lottery, even though I don’t play it. 

Get Married: Maybe someday, if I can find a person who won’t get tired of me and become enamoured with them.

Career: Heck. I don’t know. 

Hugs or Kisses: I’m better at giving hugs. I like hugs. I’ve been told I give good hugs, but I worry about giving hugs though because I don’t really want to let go most times, I just really like hugs. But I don’t dislike kisses either! I’m just...still a novice at those...>///<

Lips or Eyes: Um...I guess eyes? Some people’s eyes are just so pretty, it’s unfair. 

Shorter or Taller: Um...like preference in a partner? I’ve discovered to me it doesn’t matter if I truly like them- but I do have to really like them. 

Older or Younger: Assuming this is also a preference, um...I don’t think it really matters to me as long as they’re decently close to my age. Like I’d never date a minor, hell no, but I don’t think I could ever date someone 10 years older then me either, I find that prospect equally unsettling. 

Nice Arms or Nice Stomach: This depends, what definition of ‘nice’ are we using here? 

Hookup or Relationship: Uh...Relationship. Like I dunno, I probably could hookup with someone and date them with no sexual stuff? But they’d have to understand I wouldn’t have romantic feelings for them, at least at first. They could develop once I get to know them better, but then again, they might not- and I refuse to get serious with anyone I can’t truly feel for, because while dating might be fun, a person deserves to be loved better than that.

Troublemaker or Hesitant: I’m a hesitant person, though I wish I was a troublemaker sometimes.

Kissed A Stranger: No, but I’ve been kissed by a stranger (not on the lips though).

Drank Hard Liquor: Hrm, attempting to and failing. I prefer sweet tasting drinks.

Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: Oh man I HATE misplacing my glasses. However I’ve always been able to find them. I’ve not yet lost any of my contact lenses.

Turned Someone Down: Yes. A few times, for various reasons. 

Sex On First Date: Highly doubtful.

Broken Someone’s Heart: ....yeah...it wasn’t pretty, but it had to be done.

Had Your Heart Broken: Yes. I believed I was flying over the atmosphere and that we could take on the world together, and then suddenly I was dropped, falling down and burning, and I landed in an ocean, unable to make sense of which way was up, which way was down. The healing process was like trying to find some way to stay afloat among the waves and not get dragged back under when you looked up and saw them still flying without you. And then, you find land, and you’re able to stand on your own two feet again. And all you can do is just keep walking. Been Arrested: Nope. Been pulled over twice though.

Cried When Someone Died: Yes.

Fallen For A Friend: Eh, sorta.

Do you believe in…

Yourself: Ha, no.

Miracles: I wish.

Love At First Sight: I believe it’s possible, just not possible for everyone.

Santa Clause: I believe in Finland.

Kiss on the First Date: It depends on how well it goes and how comfortable I am I suppose. I don’t believe that it should be required or expected, no. 

Angels: In a manner of speaking. 

Other…

Current Best Friends’ Name(s): @queensolaria is my best friend since high school, and I don’t think any of my other in-person friends have tumblrs xP. Of course there’s other tumblr users I consider friends too though but like

Eye Color:  My eyes are such a dark brown that they look black. Kinda boring. I’m not a fan of them.

Favorite Movie:....Princess Bride, probably. Shut up. 

[lillian-tiger]

Challenge || The Sorting Test 

What is your real, birth name? Any nicknames? When and where were you born?

Lillian Marie Tiger - I mean I will happily accept Princess as a nickname, sadly only Nibs uses it. People... I was born November 15 1997 pretty sure my mother gave birth in Paris on one of their lovely trips around the world. 

What is your Myers-Briggs Personality Type? (If you don’t know go here this question is optional.)

Entrepreneur ESTP-T

Do you have a nickname? What is it, and where did you get it?

Princess, or just Princess Lilly. Either or, I’m a princess regardless.

What do you look like? (Include height, weight, hair, eyes, skin, apparent age, and distinguishing features)

I’m about 5′3, 135, slender and fit (thank you dancing). I have dark hair, brown eyes, and I’m very tan. Most people think I’m a lot older than I really am. Which is nice when using my fake I.D. 

How do you dress most of the time? Do you wear any jewelry?

I typically try and dress up a little. Even if it’s ‘casual’ there is still some sort of spark that shows I’m still here for business and to make your head turn. Sometimes I’ll be in cute work out cloths, because well.. they’re cute. 

What don’t you like about yourself? What kind of things embarrass you? Why?

My knees kinda bend inward a bit too much. Um.. not a lot really embarrasses me. I typically just embarrass others. Not of purpose of course, it just kinda happens sometimes.

In your opinion, what is your best feature?

I have really nice, toned legs. I know they’re no long, but I mean they’re pretty fit looking legs.

Where do you live? Describe it: Is it messy, neat, avant-garde, sparse, etc.?

I live in a flat in town. It has my room, and a spare room for anyone that wants to get away. It’s pretty simple, and always clean. A lot of teal and rose gold accents everywhere. It’s my favorite place in the world. 

What is your most prized mundane possession? Why do you value it so much?

My father gave me my mothers wedding ring. I keep it in the back of my jewelry box. It’s the only thing I have of my mother before she walked out. 

What one word best describes you?  

Princess

Familial Questions

What is/was your family structure like? (i.e. are you adopted, how many siblings, pets, etc.)  

It used to be great till I was about 7. My mother just up and left us, and my father just pushed himself into work, and me with any dance instructor he could find. Private schools, and everything else. So. It’s just a shit show now. My father is a credit card.

Who was your father, and what was he like? Who was your mother, and what was she like? What was your parents marriage like? Were they married? Did they remain married?

He was my best friend, and not he’s just a stranger. My mother and him obviously are.. not together anymore. Divorced, and he remarried some idiot who’s probably my age. Haven't really met her - or got to know her. 

What are/were your siblings names? What are/were they like? (If you have siblings)

n/a

What’s the worst thing one of your siblings ever did to you? What’s the worst thing you’ve done to one of your siblings? (If you have siblings)

n/a

When’s the last time you saw any member of your family? Where are they now?

My dad gave me about a twenty minute visit for Christmas. That was nice.

Who is your closest friend(s)? Describe them and how you relate to them.

The Lost boys. I don’t know all the details, but I at least know they’re in the same boat with me. Nibs would have to be my absolute closest. He’s seen the most, and knows more than anyone else in my life. 

Childhood Questions

What is your first memory?

I can remember hating the heck out of peas. I mean I don’t even know if it’s a memory, it’s just a video I’ve seen a million times. It’s not like I actually remember it.

What was your favorite toy?

Jump rope

What was your favorite game?

Uno

Who was your best friend when you were growing up?

Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest, and just.. well... bigger than est. Kidding, the boys were the only real stable friendship, and longest. 

What is your fondest childhood memory?

Taking dance lessons. I was so talented, and my father used to never miss a single performance. Without a doubt he was my biggest fan. I couldn’t have asked for anyone better to cheer me on. I was the lead in a spring showcase, and he just looked proud.. 

What is your worst childhood memory?

The day my mother left. 

Adolescent Questions

It is common for one’s view of authority to develop in their adolescent years. What is your view of authority, and what event most affected it?

Eh, I mean I respect them I guess. I never really had authority. I’ve been living on my own for awhile now off my fathers money. 

What “clique” did/do you best fit in with? (Royals, Dark Royals, Wallflowers, Bookworms, Punks, Hipsters, Rejects, etc.)

Royals, I mean hello - Princess. 

What were/are your high school goals? What were/are your uni goals?

High School - get offers to dance academy's - which I mean I’m one of the best here at the university. While I’m here? I just want to get a degree that I know is fit for me. Dancing is everything, but I want to do something with it then just preform. One day I won’t be able too and I jut want something at that point. So probably the schooling to teach it. 

What is/was your favorite memory from adolescence? What is/was your worst memory from adolescence?

My favorite was the first time I got drunk. I think that’s close to everyone's. The classic high school party were the music is horrible, and the place is crammed with a bunch of people who can’t handle their alcohol. I could, clearly. The worst? Watching everyone on mothers day. One in particular though where someone just kept asking about my mother, and just kept going. It was the first time I punched someone. I mean that part was amazing, but just.. that fact alone. 

Do you own a car? Describe it. If not, describe your dream car.

I have a white 2017 Mazda CX-5  - it gets me around, and it’s solid black. 

Occupational Questions

Do you have a job? What is it? Do you like it? If no job, where does your money come from?

No, I don’t work. I mean I get lessons to people? but I don’t really charge. I just get all my money from my dad.

What is your boss or employer like? (Or publisher, or agent, or whatever.)

n/a

What are your co-workers like? Do you get along with them? Any in particular? Which ones don’t you get along with?

n/a

What is something you had to learn that you hated?

I’m sure any job I have that’s not dancing I would just hate everything about whatever I was learning. 

Do you tend to save or spend your money? Why?

Spend, Spend, and Spend some more. Why not? I mean it’s sorta my dad’s love.

Likes & Dislikes Questions

What hobbies do you have?

Partying and Dancing. 

What bands/artists do you like? What song is “your song?” Why?

I love anything main stream. Whatever is on the top 100 is typically whatever I’m blasting and dancing around too. Currently Zane’s new hit my favorite at the moment. My song of the sweet.

When it comes to politics, do you care? If so, which way do you tend to vote? If not, why don’t you care?

I don’t really follow them, honestly.

What time of day is your favorite? What kind of weather is your favorite?

Nighttime, it’s typically when cities come alive and the best people are out on the run. Weather? Sunny, I love a good beach day, or days were I can wear cute sun dresses. 

What is your favorite food? What is your least favorite food?

My favorite food is chicken wings, and my least favorite... oh man, mushrooms.

What is your favorite drink? (Coffee, Coke, Juice, Beer, Wine, etc.)

I’m weak for Coke as awful as it is for you. 

What’s your favorite animal? Why?

Tigers without a doubt. They’re majestic, beautiful and powerful. Much like myself.  

Do you have any pets? Do you want any pets? What kind?

I don’t have any pets, but I’m really thinking about maybe getting some fish, or something to live in that flat with me.

What do you find most relaxing? (Not as in stress relief, but as something that actually calms you down.)

Yoga. Without it I would be biting peoples heads off.

What’s a pet peeve of yours?

People that think they’re better than me, or just have a huge stick up their ass. Like live a little. 

Would you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, pan, or something else? Why?

Mmm, I mean I’m mostly with guys, but I’m not against having some lady love either. I’d say I’m Bi. 

Sex & Intimacy Questions

Who was the first person you had sex with? When did it happen? What was it like? How well did it go? (If your character is sexually active, if not, skip this question)

My first time was with a senior my freshman year. He was perfect, it was perfect, I mean it wasn’t romantic, but it wasn’t horrible. His name was Jake, football, jock, perfectly toned. I mean nothing came from it, but he also wasn’t an ass to me afterwards. He’d still wave and say hi in the hallways.

Do you currently have a lover/crush? What is their name, and what is your relationship like? What are they like? Why are you attracted to them?

That’s cute, no. That’s how you get your heartbroken. Maybe I have a crush? I don’t know, what does a crush even feel like ? I mean I found someone I wouldn’t mind getting to know? 

Describe the perfect romantic partner for you and describe your perfect date with them.

Someone I can be completely myself with. I can break all my walls down, and they know how to make me laugh. They have to be able to keep things interesting. I think laser tag would be a cute date. Tag you’re it, maybe casually make out somewhere in the field, who knows. I have to break a few rules. 

Do you ever want to get married and have children? When do you see this happening?

I do. I don’t see it happening for a very long time from here. 

What is more important – sex or intimacy? Why?

Intimacy, I’ll let you know when that day comes where I find that though. 

What was your most recent relationship like? Who was it with? (Does not need to be sexual, merely romantic.)

Uh... some dude from high school. It lasted a week, and obviously wasn’t that important since I don’t even remember his name. 

What’s the worst thing you’ve done to someone you loved?

Told them I didn’t love them. 

Drug & Alcohol Questions (if your character’s a drinker/does drugs, if not, skip to numbers 5 & 6)

How old were you when you first got drunk? What was the experience like?

I was 15, and it was amazing. I mean the hangover was hell, but it was everything you think your first high school party is going to be. I became very well known after that... FOR GOOD REASONS. I just knew how to handle my shots well. 

Did anything good come out of it? Did anything bad come out of it?

I mean that’s how I met Jake, so I say that’s some good. 

Do you drink on any kind of regular basis?

Yeah... I’m pretty bad with it. 

What kind of alcohol do you prefer?

Tequila baby.

Have you ever tried any other kind of “mood altering” substance? Which one(s)? What did you think of each?

Just the beautiful green... maybe E once. just once. I mean I did take some pills .. a little bit ago. 

What do you think of drugs and alcohol? Are there any people should not do? Why or why not?

I’m not here to judge anyone. Not before I can handle myself. 

Post-Powers Awareness Questions (For those who have powers)

When did you go through when you gained your powers? What was it like (in your opinion)?

What do you think now of being magical? Is it cool, or have you been screwed?

Do you have a mentor? Who are they? How did you become their student?

Do you have any magical items? Where did you get them?

Think of a major event that happened during your training/initiation. What was it?

What is something you had to learn during your training that you hated? Why did you hate it?

Thoughtful Questions  

What about you is social? What do you like about people?

Almost everything about me is pretty social. I don’t like how people can be so judgment, or so .. annoying with their own ways. I like things to be my way - also when people don’t have humor. 

If a magical being, describe the color of what magic you use, is it of a light color, bold and bright, pastel and sparkly, etc.

Are you a better leader or follower? Why do you think that? If you think the whole leader-follower archetype is a crock of shit, say so, and explain why?

I am without a doubt a leader. No way I’m going to be following anyone and their steps.