#like every other shoe I own or have ever own rubs and causes discomfort I think I will never be comfy ever honestly

[usedtobemygirl]

anyone got a good recommendation for shoes to wear in summer?

[suneeater]

solomon + jealousy sex

✎a/n: i havent written seriously in a long time and i am not confident about this at all. enjoy. full scenario is under the cut

✰warnings: SMUT!!! NSFW!!! exhibitionism, reader is afab, reader is wearing a dress

✉: Plsplspls jealous Solomon smut PLEASE

Solomon is an unbearable tease. You stare at the fork in your hand, tapping it against the plate mindlessly to try and cover your own shaky breathing. You were never a huge fan of dinner parties, but you had been formally invited and it would have been rude not to attend. The demon seated beside you is chattering away happily, seemingly unaware of your sudden discomfort. All night, you had been cracking jokes and sharing friendly conversation. You hardly know anyone here, but the two of you seemed to really get along. Really well, actually, as Solomon noted. The other end of the table is engrossed in their own little world, and you seemingly have no escape from your predicament. Out of sight, Solomon rubs gentle circles into your thigh, his hand sheathed under your dress and the hem tickling your sensitive skin with his every movement, only feeding into your overwhelmed state. You can hardly look at him; you feel his eyes digging into the back of your head and you *know* he’s looking at you with his devious smirk, appearing completely unbothered to outside eyes despite the way he’s working you under the table. It’s only a matter of minutes before you become completely flustered, feeling as if you’re radiating heat while an uncomfortable sensation grows in your abdomen. Solomon’s hand draws closer to your core, tugging at the hem of your panties and causing your own arousal to trail down your inner thigh. You gulp, choking around the growing lump in your throat, finally excusing yourself from the situation. Solomon is quick to back you up, spitting out the excuse he’s been mulling over the entire night. Your new friend cocks his brow at you, questioning why you would leave so suddenly. “Was it something I said? You don’t seem like you’ve been paying attention”. You move to spit out an apology, but the words die on your tongue as Solomon presses his fingers to your mound, saturating your panties with your own wetness. Unable to suppress your shock, your hand clasps around your mouth to hide your gasp, although it isn’t very subtle. Solomon stands, smiling at your friend, but there’s a hint of mischief in his glare. “I’m afraid we’ll need to be going anyway. She’s clearly sick, can’t you see?” Solomon’s gaze shifts down at you, still seated with your hand over your mouth and eyes wide with uncertainty. You know that look; the typical, fun loving Solomon you know is at his limit, and your legs shake with the anticipation of what’s to come. So you play along, nodding your head. “Human stomach – sensitive, I guess” you spit breathlessly, looking to your boyfriend for approval. His expression eases a little, and you know you’re playing into his little lie just how he planned. 

The moment the door closes behind you, Solomon has you pinned against it. You’ve no time to even take off your shoes before he’s sizing you up, his strong arms keeping you in place beneath him by your wrists, his grip tighter than ever before. His breathing is heavy, hot against your neck as he leans down to take you in better. “Were you trying to get a rise out of me?” His voice is firm and assertive, and your heart nearly skips a voice at the unfamiliar tone. Before you can answer, he huffs and moves to your neck, his hold on your wrists loosening as he sucks harshly on your sensitive skin. He peppers you with little bites, each one making you wriggle under his hold until he’s done leaving his mark on you – at least, for now. “Solomon–” you gasp, unable to catch your breath. “I- I wasn’t trying to do anything… you know that”. He responds only with a ‘tch’, using your chin to guide your eyes to his own. “Look at you… you can’t even look me in the eye. I know you’re smarter than that, you are my little apprentice after all”.

The nickname makes you shudder, and he chuckles deep from his chest at your reaction. Already, he’s put you in a submissive position. You can’t help but feel yourself growing more aroused at the idea of him ‘teaching you a lesson’, suddenly understanding the trope. His grip around you tightens again as he moves your position once more, pulling himself even closer to you and leaving you trapped between the closed door and his firm body. “Why don’t you learn to just listen to me? I thought I’d already proven to you that nobody can make you feel as good as I do”. You can feel your heat throb, his hard cock pushing against your stomach as he closes the distance between you. You nod, unable to muster any words for fear you’ll give him everything he wants, wanting to play your own little game with him. The thought is quick to diminish the closer Solomon gets, though, and you curse his composure for making such a mess out of you. 

“You know–” you breathe, “you’re unbearable sometimes”. Solomon doesn’t even hide to you that he’s rolling his eyes, finding your comment laughable given your current situation. “Oh please, my darling… you are not in the spot right now to be toying with me like this”. His response is whispered to you, close and intimately, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up in surprise from the stimulation of his breath. Before you can formulate your own rebuttal, you’re hoisted into the air for a moment as Solomon wraps his arms around your legs, pulling you onto him in one swift motion and keeping you pinned against the door, forcing you to throw your arms around his body for support and wrap yourself around his torso, squealing in surprise.

He looks down at you with a dark expression, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear to better look at your surprise. He just can’t get enough of the way that you’ll always bend for him, always being able to catch you off guard and make you vulnerable. He thinks to himself about how nobody else would be able to do this to you, to make your bratty attitude die down in a sea of pleasure and fuck you until you can’t bear to be without his cock, his fingers, his mouth. Him. The tender action is in stark contrast to the way he reaches up your dress again to tug your soaked panties out of the way, reveling in the way your slick pools around him so quickly and leaves your aroused folds glistening. He teases your slit, his free hand supporting your back, soaking in the way he’s barely touched you and yet you throw your head back. He can tell, hell he can feel how bad you need him, and you know there’s no use in trying to hide the effects of his teasing any longer. In a matter of moments he plunges two fingers inside of you, giving you no time to adjust before he works your inside fervently. You clench around him in surprise, toes curling from his fingers alone. You bury your face in his neck, panting against his skin and feeling the thump of his heart against you while his fingertips fall naturally upon the sweet spot inside of you. You can feel the curve of his knuckles as he strikes your sensitive area, uncontrollably squeezing him with every stroke of his fingertips and feeling yourself come undone around him. He feels the way your breath hitches against his skin, and knows how close you are, keeping his pace steady while using his thumb to flick your swollen clit. A moment, just a moment more – and you’d be cumming for him. You begin to buck your hips at the sensation, chasing your own high and whimpering for him, all because he’s fingering you. Solomon smirks, thinking about how little he has to try to make you see stars, feeding his own broken ego despite the night’s prior events. None of that matters, though, not when he has you completely under his thumb. You swear you’re seeing white, your grip around his neck tightening as if trying to pull yourself closer, when-

You’re completely empty. “S-Sol!” you shriek at him, your ruined orgasm leaving you dissatisfied and betrayed, feeling yourself thump against the door as your body nearly gives out in exhaustion following the tension of Solomon’s ministrations. Solomon only looks at you devilishly, a look he wears quite well despite being perhaps the only other human down here, before shaking his head at you. “You didn’t think I’d let you off that easy, hm? Now you know how it feels… this is what you’ve been doing to me all night”. You huff at him, eyes glued to his glistening fingers as you try to avoid his ‘told you so’ look. The mischievous sorcerer is quick to notice your shift in attention, opting to suck your arousal from his fingertips, moaning around them from the taste of you, watching for your reaction. “There’s no denying how sweet you taste, though”. He’s almost panting the words out breathlessly between licks, cleaning himself thoroughly until all that’s left is the scent of your sex lingering on him, undoubtedly marking him as yours just as much as he’s already marked you his, your neck already beginning to bruise. His hard-on still presses against you, practically throbbing at this point from neglect, and in spite of your ruined orgasm you hungrily reach for his belt, stripping him as fast as you possibly can. He does nothing to stop you this time, hoping by now you’ve learned enough of a lesson that he can fuck you sensless and reach his own release. You waste no time in freeing his cock from his clothing, standing before you twitching and dripping wet. You lick your lips, eager to pop him into your mouth, but you’re swept off your feet and instead thrown back around Solomon. Your back arches from the cold sensation of the door, legs instinctively wrapping around his waist tightly, closing as much distance as possible.

Typically, Solomon would ease into you, taking his time and making sure that each and every movement is deliberate. Tonight, though, he wants nothing more than to fuck you senseless until you remember who you belong to, until the only words you can muster are his name and his name alone, begging for his seed and forgetting all about any low level demons, about anyone who isn’t him. The two of you are almost completely undone, shedding your composure and abandoning your little game for the sake of pleasure. Solomon’s large and strong hands dig into your waist, lifting you slightly up and effortlessly onto his cock before dropping you, leaving you with no other option than to take all of his length in one go. Your upright position lets you take more of him easily, but you’re still no match for him. His girth stretches your walls, each vein more prominent than ever and only adding to the sensation of his thrusts. Your nails dig into his back, sure to leave a mark, but providing you stability nonetheless as he takes you animalistically. The best you can do is hold yourself steady and try to adjust to the overwhelming sensation of being empty and then stretched and filled with Solomon’s cock, his hips bucking into yours and filling the room with the sounds of your dirty act. The wet, squelching noises are second only to your whining and needy moans, every thrust leaving you breathless. It’s like your body was molded perfectly around his, made exclusively to take him and let him breed you, his length curving sweetly inside you and hitting that special spot that leaves you screaming for him just like he wants. You almost swear between his rough fucking and the way he fingered you earlier that you’ll be sore deep inside soon after, and yet you beg for more anyways. He can’t even think of a quick response to your neediness, his mind clouded with the sight of you being bounced on him, chest heaving and tears pooling in the corners of your eyes. As if the feeling of sheathing himself inside your soaking wet and tight cunt isn’t enough, he’s driven even closer to the brink of ecstasy by the way you leave scratches down his back, leaving evidence of your sexual devotion to him and leaving him unable to comprehend any thought besides rearranging your guts. With the way the head of his stiff cock is beating the tip of your cervix, you feel yourself clench involuntarily around him, practically screaming his name, the sensation too much to warn him before you cum hard. The strength of your orgasm is overwhelming, sending shockwaves through your body and leaving you overstimulated as Solomon follows in your stead, losing his rhythm and control over his own body as the waves of pleasure hit him. Ropes of thick, white hot cum shoot through you, filling you to the brink until it’s overflowing and oozing between your folds, dripping down the base of Solomon’s cock. 

He remains inside you only for a moment, as the last few waves of your orgasm pulsate through your body, gasping for air and heart nearly beating out of his chest. As your body eases, you feel yourself go limp, no longer able to hold yourself up around him. Solomon is quick to catch you, holding you against his chest as you both come down from your highs. A shaking hand cups your flushed cheek, and the sorcerer looks before you with a look of admiration. You’re relieved that he feels better, but if this is how it’s going to be, you may have to start making him jealous more often…

find the sfw headcanons for this prompt here

[caramelcuniculus]

"If anyone besides you had found me first, I would have taken their life. It is as simple as that." Desmond was stern and serious in her tone, but how couldn't she be? The world was left in a state of disrepair and at this point, it was every man for himself. Yet Simon somehow fell victim to the philosophy and became the thing he that sought to destroy him. It made her question just what happened, what being turned against your will truly meant, but it didn't matter when a potential threat stood right in front of her. Vampire. Believe her, this hurt her just as much as it hurt Simon. The stake had yet to be lowered. In fact, the red eyes made a quick glance down at the armed weapon at her disposal, then at the target that was now being shielded by the parasol's handle.

Desmond recognized the nervous stim. Gentle rubs against the curved material seemed to settle the started Simon Petrikov, but it wasn't doing much. If the archaeologist wanted to, he could've knocked the umbrella out of his hands and ended things there. He didn't. He didn't want to. He didn't need to, either. Simon's being may have been an opposing force, but Desmond couldn't bring himself to believe this was some kind of trick. Simon meant all he said, even lowering his guard by actively fidgeting in front of him. This wasn't some act, some mask. The vampire really feared the gaze that still glared deep inside his eyes, staring into his soul. The reality that he was the one causing his best friend discomfort made him feel sick, but the archaeologist had no other choice. Vampire.

Red blinked sorrowfully. "I assume I didn't realize how close I was to the enemy lines. Thank you for the heads up, Petrikov. I'll better prepare myself next time to bring a doubled supply of stakes and holy water. Does that make you weary? It should, because I'm not sure if I should or shouldn't keep your word. It's a dog-eat-dog world out here, you know." Desmond's bitterness was there, but so remained the despair. There was no denying it: they were devastated. Who wouldn't be really? Now the archaeologist knew they really only had themself left in this world. A wife and daughter dead, friends deceased. For all they knew, their birth family was gone, too. Poor, poor little He--

Marceline? A little girl named Marceline. That was the thing that made her drop her defenses; the sharpened dagger lowered slightly from the heart. Desmond's mouth opened to speak, but there was nothing there. It was as if all the rage, all the distrust and betrayal had been wiped from her conscious. A daughter. Another daughter. "That… changes everything." The archaeologist's hand lowered as her head hung low, looking at her shoes and Simon's, his concealed by the shade of the parasol. Silence was shared between the two before a shaky sigh escaped Desmond. Her head raised to look back at the vampire again. Melancholic red and lips that quivered as if she were about to cry.

"I understand now. I don't like it, I won't like it, but I will understand it. I may have done the very same thing had I been in your shoes." It was a pitiful realization, but the right one. Dog-eat-dog world, and he knew how cruel both man and vampire could be. Simon did the right thing, but he still became one of them. Vampire, vampire. The dagger raised ever so slightly, not even facing the heart, rather pointing dimly at the middle of his chest. Unreadable Desmond Sycamore watched Simon's head and body to see how he'd react now, now that he'd gotten him to ease a slight bit of tension. Not all, but some. A deep frown.

"I can protect my own, my own self, but if you feel better in accompanying me, so be it. However, you must, absolutely must promise me that you won't even think of backstabbing me. I wouldn't want to kill you. I don't want to kill you, even if you're like this."

Desmond looked away. "For you, for myself, for Marceline." And the red returned. "You have to promise and you better swear on your damn life, Simon."

What a nice day to trudge through the dominated world. Cracks painted the street and sidewalk that stood within and without the figure passing by, leaving the remains best forgotten. Kicks of small debris and steps against weak ground were the only sounds that seemingly echoed through whatever this once was. The ruins of a city; the result of the end of all things. Another civilization left to crumble and decay into rubble. They always said third times the charm, for whomever came next. Desmond Sycamore hoped they wouldn't destroy themselves and heed the warnings of a time long past. Times twice long past. The humans should've sooner discovered the legacy and loss the Azran civilization had left behind eons ago… but the remains of the world still turn.

Professor Desmond Sycamore, perhaps not much a professor anymore, both was and was not herself. She had her hazel hair and wine irises, but there were added layers to her attire. Accessories far more fitting for the apocalyptic world, especially for one that was threatened by the newly surfacing vampires. To think they'd come to be from fairy tales and folklore, now preying on the people who now lay dead on the streets. Join them or die; most had succumb to the latter. Not her, never her. The archaeologist had lived a long, harsh life before. A set of fangs wouldn't stop her. She had the three necessities bagged onto her person: stakes, garlic and holy water. Her supply was limited, but it was enough. It kept her afloat and kept her walking through broken streets like these.

Today, his mission in life was to locate any food sources. While the city ruins provided more secure shelter, proper nutrition was a delicacy. Desmond knew so long as he stayed in this area, he wouldn't be eating the best, but the very least he could do was try and find any available vendors. It was easy to trade things such as stakes around these parts, especially since more vampires would stop in town searching for their next meals… The persistent thought of eating made a small grumble come from deep within his stomach. The archaeologist held a quick hand to it and squeezed on it. A scoff; he wasn't even that hungry!

Maybe their mind and body were fighting with each other, playing tricks on the unfortunate host. They couldn't say it'd been the first time, and they knew this wouldn't be the last. Desmond simply kept on their way, red eyes scanning the crevasses of tumbled infrastructure for any signs of human life. Wildlife worked as well, if need be. They believed themself to be quite the hunter, after all! They wouldn't mind if they had to--

A cry of her name made her mind freeze up. It responded to the first call, registering that someone nearby both knew her and was alive. The second chant made her head shoot up, quickly turning her head and body to locate the source of the sounds. Desmond knew where; she knew the voice of Simon Petrikov more than anybody. Well, mostly everybody… The antiquarian was spotted and the archaeologist stopped her twirling, unable to hold back an expression of exhilaration and relief. "Simon! I knew it was you!" As her best friend approached, he echoed a statement that was left ignored. She couldn't help her smiling.

"I'm your best friend, after all! I've gone to memorize your voice by he-" Desmond's voice died in their throat once the whimsy wore off and they noticed the parasol in his hands. Not only that, the paled skin… Wide eyed and lost to a disbelief that started to shake them to their core, they took a step back. Desmond wasn't stupid, and Simon knew they weren't stupid. At least he didn't attempt to hide the truth that stood in the display that almost felt like a knife through the back. Back-stabbing. Vampire.

The archaeologist immediately drew out one of his stakes, pointing it at the center of where Simon's heart was. Red like blood, his gaze stared daggers into the dots underneath the umbrella. "Save your concern; I was fending for food out on a nice, warm, sunny day." The stare increased in intensity. "By the by, you must be feeling quite famished yourself. Surely you haven't come out to make me your next meal, have you?" If Simon looked close enough, he could see there now lay unease and sadness in his eyes. The stake in his hands inched a pinch closer towards the vampire's core.

"But you wouldn't, and you won't, will you?" Again, the red looked at him, downward now at his attire. And now pain resided in Desmond's voice. "… Oh, Petry, just what did you get yourself into?"

[seiyasabi]

Idolised

(Here’s a Yandere Todo Aoi x Female Reader story :P I wrote up the layout for this a while ago, and I’m currently madly in love w him, so here we are! 

Thank you all so much for your support and being so understanding of my situation. I love you all so much ;)

TW: !noncon/dubcon!, !Has a whole ass shrine dedicated to you, you literally don’t know he exists lmao, !claims he's ur bf to everyone, manipulation!, intimidation!, sort of kidnapping!, !forced cunnilingus!, etc.. 

Please proceed with caution!)

“(Your Name)-Chan, why didn’t you tell us that you have a boyfriend?” You slowly stop chewing, chopsticks going slack in your hand. Eyes darting towards your friend Mika, you raise an unamused eyebrow. 

“What are you talking about, Mika-Chan? I don’t have a boyfriend,” All of your girlfriends look at each other, unbelieving of your claim. All giggle, thinking that you’re just being shy. 

“Ne~ don’t be coy! It’s okay to tell us about your boyfriend! From the pictures I’ve seen, he’s quite handsome, huh?” At this point, you’re completely confused. Are they pranking you? You don’t have a boyfriend! 

“I genuinely have no idea what you’re talking about-“ The seat next to you slides out, and a hulking figure plops itself down on the wooden chair, the wood creaking horrifically underneath their weight. 

Their arm wraps around the back of your own chair, practically engulfing you in the crook of their enormous elbow, “Hey, Pretty Girl. I’m sorry that I’m late, you know how late my classes run sometimes.” 

You’re too scared to even turn towards the large man, choosing instead to look at your friends with a horrified expression. They don’t notice it, too busy ogling at the apparent eye candy next to you, “Uhm, I’m sorry, but who are you? And why do they think that you’re my boyfriend?” An awkward silence immediately follows after, the man’s hand gripping the wood behind you so hard that it creaks. 

He forces a deep laugh, which sounds quite menacing. He moves his hand onto your back, his warm palm felt through your stylish top, “You’re so funny, (Nickname)-Chan! It’s alright, you don’t need to hide me anymore. I messaged your girls last week, they know about us.” 

“Yeah, (First Name)-Chan! It’s okay! We think you’re both so adorable,” They practically fawn over the two of you, trying to push you closer into each other’s arms. The man next to you takes this in stride, practically hauling your chair up next to his. His arm is now fully around you, as you lean in close to your hair and neck. He inhaled deeply, a satisfied grunt rumbling through his chest. 

“Don’t do anything stupid, (Your Name)-Chan. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll follow my every whim,” Tears of fear and anxiety bead your eyes, which your friends take as relief that you’re no longer hiding away from them. 

“Don’t cry, (First Name)-Chan! It’s okay! We all support you wholeheartedly!” 

The rest of the lunch consisted of you being extremely uncomfortable, and your closest friends being none the wiser. Somehow, they don’t notice how you constantly inch away from him, only to be dragged back to his side. Somehow, they don’t know how he’s whispering mild threats into your ear. 

But, through this time, you learned the name of your so-called ‘boyfriend.’ Todo Aoi, the beast currently keeping you glued to your seat in fear. He’s so much bigger than you, so much faster, seemingly so much smarter. 

“Bye, (First Name)-Chan, Bye, Todo-Kun! It was nice to meet you!” Your friends wave the two of you off, one of his large hands securely on the small of your back. His grip is bruising, controlling. Todo practically pushes you towards an unknown destination, your body only able to continue forward, whether you wanted it to or not. 

“I’m proud of you, (First Name)-Chan. I knew my girl was smart, beautiful, and capable. This just proved it to me,” A small whimper escapes your throat, as fresh tears bead your eyes. 

“Why are you doing this? What do you want from me?” A booming laugh is heard, practically shaking the ground below you, causing you to flinch. 

“Why am I doing this? Well, I’m doing this, because I love you. I want us to be together, so we’re going home,” He says this as if it solved all of your problems. 

“But we don’t know each other, why even bother-“ 

“We know each other. I saved your life, remember?” For the first time tonight, you look at him. His distinct scar immediately catches your attention- this man did, in fact, save your life. Two months prior, someone or something shoved you onto some train tracks, right in front of an oncoming train. In a mere moment, the bulky man grabbed you from the tracks, and hopped back up onto the platform, effectively saving your life. 

“I-Bu-But what? We met only once, and-“ He shushes you, forcing you closer to his side, his entire hand practically engulfing your waist. 

“There’s no need to worry. In that Moment, I knew that you were meant to be my beautiful Princess. You need me to care for you, and I’m up for the task.” 

“Princess? Sir, I think you need help! We’ve only talked once, and while I’m grateful for you saving my life, I think this is excessive! Please let me go!” 

He ignores you, sighing dreamily about what the two of you will get up to. Todo couldn’t wait to add more to your shrine at home! He’ll be sure to get as much dirty clothes, used tissues, and everything else he could ever want! 

Forcing you into an upper class loft building, he guides you by the small of your spine into a lift, disregarding the old woman inside. She looks at you as if the both of you are the most adorable couple she’s ever seen, making you shift in discomfort. Todo takes it in stride, practically preening under her gaze, but pretending it has no effect on him. 

He nonchalantly presses his floor’s number, before placing that hand on your hip, and rubbing it in circular motions. You try to move away from him, but his grip is solid. 

Before long, the lift stops on his floor, and he pushes you out. You stumble into the area outside of his front door- his home being the only one on the entire floor. The door itself has a pin pad on its handle, which he quickly typed in, once he’s directly in front of it, leading you to believe that there’s most likely a second pin pad on the other side. 

Once you hear the click of the door being unlocked, Todo moves away from the entryway, and motions you inside, “Go ahead, Princess.” 

In a Moment of defiance, you shake your Head no, “I think this has gone on long enough,” His eyes narrow slightly, yet you continue, practically shaking in your shoes, “I-I don’t want to go inside. Please let me go home.” 

His booming laughter fills the small space, as he shakes his head in disbelief, “You’re adorable, (Nickname)-Chan! Now, go inside before I become angry.” The bite in his final words forces you forward, into his dark flat. 

He flicks on the light switch the moment you step inside, momentarily blinding you. Once you’re able to blink away the dots swimming in your vision, you’re greeted with a fairly normal sight. The living room, kitchen, and dining room are conjoined in an open concept, making the large place seem even larger. Two hallways branch off on either side of the large room, most likely leading to a master, a guest room, bathroom, and an office. 

“What do you think? I read in a magazine that women like clean homes, so I deep clean this flat at least once a week.” 

You aren’t sure what to say, but you nod along anyway, “Yes, it’s very nice.” He beams down at you, cheeks practically stretching to the fullest extent. 

“This shows that I know how to make women happy! I believe that’s a redeeming quality,” You awkwardly give him the side eye, “Oh, don’t look at me like that, silly girl! I have many more redeeming qualities if that one isn’t good enough. Now,” He clasps your shoulder with a large hand, “Why don’t I show you our bedroom?” 

“Our?” Your eyes are practically bugging out of your skull, as he nods gleefully. 

“We’re a couple, aren’t we? And couples share everything with each other.” 

With that, he practically drags you down the left hallway. There’s only one door at the end of the hall, signalling that this is the master bedroom. With one hand, he pushes open the door, before coaxing you inside. His hand that was previously on your shoulder migrates to the bottom of your spine. The room is a mixture of black and your favourite colour, showcasing that this room is the both of yours. 

The bed is quite large, most likely to accommodate your large captor and yourself, “I thought you’d like that your favourite colour is in here.” 

You say nothing, tears beading your eyes. You wring your hands in anxiety, as he leads you to the bed. He sits you down on the edge, before kneeling in front of you. Todo leans forward, resting on your thighs, all whilst still practically towering over you even when sitting. 

“Why’re you crying, Princess? There’s no reason to,” He swipes under your eye the moment the first tear falls. 

“Why am I crying? You must be joking! You-you just kidnapped me!” He shushes you once more, causing a spark of anger to course through you. He hasn’t listened to a single complaint you’ve voiced! “Stop doing that! It’s rude! I’m allowed to be upset-“ 

With two massive hands, he forces your thighs open, “I know your work has you stressed, Pretty Girl- why don’t you let me calm you down?” He pushes his hands up your thighs, your skirt barely covering your pussy,  allowing his thumbs to ghost over your panty clad cunny. 

You try to thrash out of his hold, pushing against his hands, “No! Let go of me!” Your thrashing does nothing, as just the weight of his forearms we’re enough to press your thighs to the bed. His left hand rubs against your clit and hole, trying to make you as wet as possible. You try to push against his forearms, but he presses down harder. 

His thumb rubs fluidly over your clit in an even pressure. Your hips press up, trying to buck him off, but it only causes him to press down harder. In no time, you’re growing wet against his ministrations. You choke back your whines, smacking his arms, before pushing against his head which hovers just above your cunt. 

“Do you feel that, Princess? You’re getting so wet!” He suddenly presses his open mouth against your mound, tongue matching pace with his thumb. A moan escapes your throat before you can stop it, halting the large man in his tracks. You sound so perfect to him! 

In one swift motion, he yanks your panties down your legs, and tosses them onto the mattress beside you. You try to close your legs, but it’s no use. I’m seconds, he has your thighs presses as far open as they can go, and his face is buried in your pretty cunny. His tongue dips into your folds, savouring your taste, before flicking against your clit. 

His tongue rubs against your clit in swift, smooth motions, quickly causing you to grow wetter than before. Your slick drips down your cunny, coating your ass and inner thighs. More moans escape your mouth, as you writhe against him. 

“Sto-Stop! Oh my god-“ He gives a small laugh at your begs, eating you out faster than before. Loud slurps and ‘mms’ are heard throughout the room, as you quickly go over the edge. Your juices squirt out of your cunny, coating his chin and his shoulders in slick. A loud keen is heard throughout the room. 

The mixture of your wonderful cum and loud moans causes the large man to bust a load in his pants. He groans against you, causes your thighs to tremble in overstimulation. Todo removes himself from your pussy (not before licking up as much slick as possible), and smiles up at you. 

“You’re so wonderful, (Nickname)-Chan! I should’ve done this sooner!” 

[cloudywriter]

a trip to target

rowaelin month - september 6th

prompt: firstborn arrives

i literally have no idea where this idea came from like it’s so weird but i think it’s funny so i just had to write it. honestly though pregnancy freaks me out a little so it was a little uncomfy to write at times but i pushed through and i like it. enjoy!

(warning for some minor language)

masterlist, AO3

~~~

Rowan was working on one of his client's cases, a rather nasty divorce that he knew was going to be an absolute dumpster fire when his wife called him again. Rowan couldn’t help but smile a little at her name lighting up his phone screen but admittedly she was bothering him so much he barely got any work done nowadays. 

He picked up anyway, he’d never decline her. “Hey, Fireheart.”

“I’m bored, buzzard,” Aelin deadpanned. 

“I know, baby, but I’ll come home after my meeting later, I promise. Then we can watch Bachelor reruns all night and eat ice cream,” Rowan assured her, leaning back in his office chair. For some reason, all she wanted to do nowadays was watch bad reality tv and eat ice cream from the carton. As much as Rowan hated reality shows and wasn't keen on sweets he did anything to make her happy.

“That’s too far away, I’m rotting away on this couch,” Aelin whined. 

Aelin’s work had forced her on maternity leave a few days ago as she was due any day now with their first child, a little girl, and Aelin was not taking it well. She was the kind of person who liked to always be busy and now she had nothing to do but sit on the couch and wait for their child to decide she was ready to enter the world. She was constantly phoning Rowan seeking some form of entertainment but he was still working on this damn case. 

Rowan thought her restlessness had something to do with the fact she was terrified at the thought of giving birth and caring for a newborn. If she were distracted she wouldn’t have to think about the daunting task at hand. So, he did his best to keep her happy and preoccupied but he desperately needed to wrap up this case before his daughter arrived. He wanted to be there for every moment of the beginning of her life, he didn’t fancy any legal cases looming over his head vying for his attention as well. 

“I know, I’ll be home as soon as I can. Hang tight, my love.” 

Aelin huffed from the other end of the line. “I’m ready for her to be out, Rowan. This sucks.” 

Rowan stifled a laugh, he knew being pregnant had lost its charm a long time ago. At first, she enjoyed Rowan fetching anything she asked for and waiting on her, but then that started to get old, and Aelin's pregnancy symptoms made her miserable most of the time. So, the last couple of months hadn't been her favorite. 

“I’m ready to meet her too. Any second now.” 

“Okay, I’ll stop bothering you now," Aelin concluded. She likely finally found something on Netflix that piqued her interest. "Good luck with your meeting, I hope they settle. I love you,” Aelin told him. 

“I love you too, see you soon,” and with that, the call ended. Rowan looked out the window of his office, thinking. Maybe he could send someone to keep her company?

He ran through a list of their friends in his head. Elide, Aedion, and Lysandra were all working as far as he knew and didn’t want to ask them to leave their job to entertain Aelin. He thought of Lorcan, Connall, and Fenrys, they all worked for him so technically he could let them off. Except, Aelin didn’t particularly like Lorcan and he didn’t think Connall would be very keen on that arrangement either. Fenrys, though, Aelin and Fenrys were best of friends, a force of nature all on their own. 

So, Rowan rang his assistant requesting that Fenrys be sent to his office. Not much time passed before Fenrys was standing in the doorway, knocking lightly on its frame.

“What’s up?” He asked, plopping himself down on a chair opposite Rowan, making himself comfortable. 

“I have a favor to ask,” Rowan confessed. 

“A favor?” Fenrys raised an eyebrow, intrigued. 

“Can you go keep Aelin company while I’m trying to settle with the Westfalls?” Rowan probed. 

Fenrys frowned. “As much as I love Ace I can’t take a day off work to hang out with her. I have bills to pay and ladies to take out.” 

Rowan nearly groaned, fighting an internal battle with himself. “I’ll let you do it on the clock,” he finally spit out. 

“You’re going to pay me to go entertain your wife?” Fenrys looked bewildered. “I feel like is almost insulting to Aelin, you paying people to hang out with her. You’re the one she should be paying people to hang out with.”

Rowan rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s not like that. I feel bad because I know she’s struggling and I can’t be home right now. I don’t want her to have to be alone, just take her to Target or something.”

“Aelin’s a grown woman, can’t she take herself to Target?” Fenrys disputed. 

“Yes, but she’s a grown woman who’s nearing 40 weeks pregnant. I’d rather she have a chaperone,” Rowan admitted, before backtracking. “Don’t ever tell her I said that.” 

Fenrys looked amused as Rowan continued. “Are you really going to say no?” 

“Of course not, getting paid to go to Target with Aelin is a hell of a lot better than getting paid to do paperwork,” Fenrys conceded. 

Rowan blew a sigh of relief as Fenrys headed to go pick up Aelin. 

+++

Fenrys had successfully gotten Aelin to Target. It wasn’t a hard task to accomplish, the woman loved Target but Fenrys noticed she seemed rather uncomfortable and he asked her multiple times if she just wanted to stay home instead. Aelin always said no, pushing on with their trip. 

He supposed having a watermelon-sized bump on one’s front would cause a certain degree of discomfort, though. Naturally, the pair find themselves in the baby section, gushing over tiny onesies and shoes small enough to fit in the palm of their hands. Fenrys was swiping through a display of onesies, “Do you think they have any of those onesies that say like 'broken condom 'on them or something?” 

Aelin turned around from where she was staring at baby headbands. “You’re nasty. My daughter was not the result of a broken condom.” 

Fenrys made a face, “I don’t want to know.”

Aelin snorted and they continued their browsing making their way through every aisle that had anything remotely baby-related. By now, Fenrys noticed Aelin was growing increasingly uncomfortable, he could see her stamina slowing, and the difficulty walking was beginning to pose. 

Eventually, he shifted to face her as they browsed the small, dollar section at the front of the store. “Do you want to head home and get off your feet?” he finally proposed. 

“No,” Aelin responded without looking at him, picking up a small, fake succulent. “Walking is supposed to induce labor and that’s what I’m aiming for right now,” she stated, smoothing a hand over the front of her round stomach. 

Fenrys shrugged, picking up a pair of cheap fuzzy socks before throwing them back into their bin. 

He allowed Aelin to mill about the store, spending a healthy amount of time at the nightgown section before moving towards the back of the store. Aelin always said it wasn’t a trip to Target without going to the back and sniffing their extensive stockpile of candles. 

That’s exactly where they ended up. Fenrys had his nose stuck in a deep violet candle, making a face at its scent. He checked the label. Cosmic starlight. What the hell was that supposed to smell like? 

He turned to Aelin about to make her smell the atrocity when she braced herself against the shelf, putting down the candle she had been holding. Her mouth popped into an ‘o’ and her brow furrowed. 

“Aelin?” Fenrys reached out a hesitant hand placing it on her shoulder. 

Aelin breathed deeply, taking a moment to reply. “The baby must really hate the smell of sandalwood,” she finally vocalized. 

Fenrys’ dark eyes widened. “Did you just have a contraction?” 

“I think? It’s hard to tell if it was just a strong fake one or not,” Aelin panted eventually loosening her grip on the candle display shelf. 

Fenrys wasn’t taking any chances, if Rowan wanted him to deal with a woman going into labor he’d have to raise his pay significantly. “How about we get you home, Ace.” 

Aelin didn’t object, just nodded her agreement waddling towards the front of the store with Fenrys hovering around her like a fly. 

They made it out to the parking lot without any further incident and Fenrys helped Aelin into his low, expensive sports car that was his prized possession. Aelin’s face scrunched up then a sharp gasp left her mouth, her hand flying to her stomach. 

“I think squatting down trying to get into this thing just broke my water,” her eyes were wide with fear as she looked up at Fenrys. 

Fenrys face was comical, his own eyes widening like saucers and his mouth dropped. Sure enough, the bottom of her dress was wet. Fenrys was frozen for a second his mind completely emptied out, then the panic set in sending a million thoughts racing through his head. 

Fenrys audibly gulped, “Okay, um, I’m calling Rowan.” Fenrys grabbed his phone out of his pocket, fumbling with the device as he dialed Rowan’s contact, willing him to pick up. 

Fenrys leaned slightly against the open passenger door as the phone rang. “You’ve reached Rowan Whitethorn-Galathynius, I’m sorry I couldn’t answer your call, please leave a message and I’ll -.”

Fenrys hung up and groaned, rubbing his hand over his face. Beside him, Aelin whimpered. “Holy shit, that was not fake,” she groaned, her grip tightening on the seat beneath her.

“Oh, gods, Aelin, please don’t give birth in my Mercedes,” he begged. 

“Really, Fen?” She narrowed her eyes at him, she’d probably kick him in the groin if she wasn’t incapacitated. 

“You know I love you, but I don’t want baby juice on the leather.”

“Just call Rowan again,” Aelin growled. 

Fenrys did just that, silently pleading with the universe for Rowan to pick up his gods-damn phone. Relief washed over him as the call connected. 

“Fen, I’m in a meeting this better be worth my while,” Rowan whispered harshly, he hated to be interrupted at work by anyone except Aelin.

“Oh, I’m sorry, your wife’s water did just break but I guess I’ll call back later,” Fenrys spat, growing increasingly flustered by the minute. 

Fenrys heard a sharp intake of breath. “Fuck, shit, okay, where are you? I’m coming right now,” the jingle of keys filled Fenrys’ ear from Rowan's end of the call. 

As Fenrys surveyed his surrounding the urge to laugh crept upon him, he fought his smile as he replied, “The Target parking lot.”

Aelin watched the exchange closely cluing in on Fenrys’ suppressed laughter. “It’s not funny, Fen!”

“It’s a little funny. I mean if anyone was going to have a baby in a Target parking lot, it’d be you. Or Lysandra. One of you two.”

Aelin snatched the phone out of Fenrys’ hand, pressing it to her ear. “Rowan,” she panted, resting her head on the side of the car. 

Fenrys couldn’t hear much of what Rowan was saying, he spoke in a low voice trying to calm Aelin, assuring her he was coming and he loved her and she was okay. 

They were sickeningly in love, Fenrys would admit. 

“Okay, I love you too,” Aelin breathed, hanging up the phone and handing it back to Fenrys. 

Fenrys leaned against the side of the car as they awaited Rowan’s arrival. “Cross your legs, Ace. Remember, no baby juice in the car,” he reminded her, trying his best to keep her mind off of what was happening while they waited.

“Go to hell,” Aelin murmured in the midst of a contraction. Fenrys wasn’t sure what to do so he bent forward to rub Aelin’s shoulder in an attempt to do what, he wasn’t sure. Aelin didn't yell at him though so he rubbed circles on her shoulder as she clung onto the seat. 

Rowan showed up only a few minutes later, tearing into the parking lot like a bat out of hell, so at odds with his usual slow and steady driving style. He jumped out of the car, his tie loosened around his neck as he rushed to Aelin’s side. 

He kneeled down next to the open car door, picking up her hand and brushing away the stray blonde strands of hair from her splotchy face. “I’m here, Fireheart. How far apart are your contractions?”

“I don’t know,” Aelin hissed. “Okay, okay, let’s just get you in the car and to the hospital,” Rowan decided, supporting Aelin as she eased out of the car, leaning heavily upon him. 

Fenrys and Rowan successfully got Aelin into the passenger seat of his car, Rowan buckled her in and continued whispering words of love and support. Rowan rounded the car and hopped into the driver's side ready to book it to the hospital when one of the back doors opened and Fenrys slid in. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Rowan asked, shifting in his seat to look back at Fenrys. 

“I’m coming, obviously. I’m about to be an uncle,” Fenrys stated clearly. 

Rowan internally debated with himself on whether to kick Fen out of the car or not but ultimately decided he needed to prioritize Aelin, if Fen wants to tag along then fine. 

The ride to the hospital was tense, Rowan held Aelin’s hand across the center console, kissing the back of it and consoling her. Fenrys felt as though he was intruding but he refused to miss the birth of his niece. 

Of course, once they were admitted to the hospital Fenrys was kicked to the waiting room while Rowan supported Aelin through the duration of her labor. 

It progressed surprisingly quickly after her water broke, it was only a few hours later when a nurse told Fen he could come see the baby. 

Fenrys pushed open the door to the room softly and peered in. On the bed was Aelin, her golden hair a fan around her and despite the traumatizing ordeal she was glowing. A small baby was wrapped up in a blanket, laying in Aelin’s arms. Rowan was at her side, peering down at the bundle in her arms with so much love Fenrys felt as though he should look away. The new parents were already smitten with their little human, running their fingers over her cheek. 

Aelin perked up as Fenrys stepped into the room. She ushered him over and he too inspected the baby. She was so small, sleeping contently in her mother’s arms. Fen thought she had Rowan’s nose and he could see wisps of blonde hair from beneath her wool beanie. 

“Is her name Target? Or Bullseye like the dog?” Fenrys quipped with a playful smile. 

Aelin rolled her eyes as he interrupted the tender, intimate moment and shoved his shoulder with a shocking amount of strength for a woman who’d just pushed a whole baby out. 

“No,” Rowan answered, his eyes not leaving Aelin or the baby, “Her name is Elora.”

“Elora,” Fenrys repeated. “She’s beautiful, Aelin.”

Aelin gave him a soft smile and Elora yawned, her little eyes fluttering open. She gazed up at Fenrys with eyes the color of a pine forest. 

Fenrys beamed at the small girl and he liked to think she almost smiled back.

~~~

kinda leaning on the side of an aelin and fenrys brotp fic but i couldn’t not publish it, it’s so cute.  it’s not as fluffy as i’d like it to be but it was supposed to be more funny, nonetheless, i have more rowaelin baby content planned that is very fluffy. 

[buckysgoldenheart]

The Reason You Cry

Henry Cavill x Reader

Summary: So, it’s just angst, I guess. Relationship issues and vulnerability and stuff like that. Personally, I don’t think it ends on a bad note, but some of you might. But basically, you’ve been closed off for too long and Henry can’t take it anymore.

Notes: relationship issues/vulnerability. Cursing. Yelling. I don’t know why i’ve done this...I just did.

Words: 1194

He was yelling, loudly. Perhaps rightfully so. This unspoken tension between you had been escalating and it was bound to hit a breaking point sooner or later. He’d been putting himself on the line for you, walking around with his heart out for everyone to see, while yours stayed locked up tight.

So, you couldn’t blame him, really. Not for being angry. Not for being hurt. And not for every word he threw that stung you until you began to feel like a human pin cushion. He’d bottled up everything you never gave him the chance to express. Every concern or subject of discussion he brought forth you shut down before the discomfort could set in. When it came to such relationship issues you had the tendency to want to crawl into a hole and pull the hole in after you, because if you never let yourself acknowledge issues with Henry, then you didn’t have to worry about their consequences.

But the balloon popped. The geyser burst. The bombs timer had ticked down to zero. Henry had been pushed, pulled and stretched to his limit. So now he yelled. And you let it happen because, truthfully, you felt it only fair. He wasn’t being unreasonable, and he wasn’t going to let you hide. It was time to face the damn music.

“Fuck,” He shouted, tugging the strands of his dark hair with all ten fingers as he paced around the room, only stopping when he spoke directly to you. He’d speak and then pace, speak and then pace, never breaking that wild look in his eyes. “Fuck,” he said again. “Why do you have to make such a goddamn idiot out of me?”

You winced but kept yourself as steady as possible. This was different. Henry didn’t yell at you, ever, and you had a hard time keeping yourself together. You hated the anger spewing from his lips, and the fire in his eyes, and the stomp to his step, but you needed to feel the full force of his hurt. The pain was in front of you now and you had to greet it.

“I’m walking around telling everyone I care about--hell, everyone I know--that you’re my girlfriend and I’m in love with you; that you’re the one I want forever, and this whole fucking time you’ve been unhappy!”

“I’m not unhappy,” You said back, calmly as you could without seeming meek.

He scoffed. “Right, no, of course not. You just tell your friends you’re miserable being with me for, what, fun?”

You watched as he pinched the bridge of his nose with a groan, as if saying the words aloud made him relive the moment he walked into your bedroom after coming home to hear you venting to whoever was on the other end of the phone.

“I’m not miserable with you,” You said.

“Then what are you, Y/N? Hmm?” His eyebrows rose in challenge. “Because you clearly aren’t in this with me. I try and try, but you keep me miles away! You don’t let me inside that head of yours! I mean, why the fuck haven’t you just broken up with me if you don’t want me?”

“Henry—”

“How is it that I am crazy about you, absolutely crazy, and you don’t feel anything even remotely close to that for me?” His voice was turning shaky. It was still powerful, still loud enough to command a room, but the ends of his sentences wobbled. “How the fuck did that happen?”

“Stop it, Henry.”

He began his pacing again; not watching where he was going but still evading the crowded furniture in your living room with ease. It was impressive, really. In his shoes, you would have been a mess, tripping over your own feet, blinded by the tears in your eyes as you pathetically crawled around on your hands and knees.

“God, I can’t believe this,” He mostly mumbled, but knew you could hear. “Have I really been so desperate for what I want that I didn’t even see—”

“I’m just scared.” You tried the truth, which you’d never dared to give him in the past. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“Bullshit!”

Your body jerked back from the slap of his pure rage. “You don’t believe me?”

“No.”

“Fine then.” You crossed your arms. “Tell me, what is it? What’s wrong with me, Henry? What’s wrong with us?”

“You don’t love me!” He pointed a long finger at you. “You just like to play games! That’s what’s fucking wrong!”

“I do love you!” You finally bit back, but then you took a breath and quickly wiped the tears threatening to dribble down to your chin. You looked at him, and the stunned expression on his face unsettled you. But, of course, he would be surprised. You’d never told him before.

You shook your head to yourself. “I’m not used to this love. I’m not used to someone loving me the way you do,” You said, testing the waters to see if he’d make waves, but when he stayed silent, you continued. “I told my friend that I wasn’t sure if I could be with you because I didn’t want you to have to love someone who might never be able to fully love you in return. I figured it wasn’t fair. Because no matter how much I love you, I will always be guarded; and I don’t know how long it will take me to learn to love without being cripplingly afraid of the pain you would cause if you left me.” You sniffled and cursed yourself for the tears that finally fell, but you didn’t wipe them away. He needed to see them. He needed to see how deeply you felt. “Trust me, you don’t want that burden, Henry. No one does.”

He stepped towards you, tentatively as if approaching a skittish rabbit. “Y/N—”

You shook your head again, effectively cutting him off. “I need to…” Swallowing, you rubbed at your forehead with shaking hands. “I need to go. I’m sorry. I know that’s selfish, but I—”

His large, rough hand gripped yours firmly and he looked at you pleadingly. “Y/N…please don’t leave. Let’s just talk.”

You glanced from his eyes to the hand surrounding yours and back. “Let me go, Henry.” Your tone was even, somehow relaxed despite your every nerve quivering beneath your skin. “I will come back later, I promise, but let me go now.”

“How much later?” He asked.

“I don’t know,” You said, opting for the honest, up-front answer again. “But I’ll come back.”

A beat passed, but then his tight hold slowly slackened until you were able to slip your hand out of his grasp. Without a look back, you turned and let yourself out your own front door.

---

@moonlightimagination​ @xceafh​ @meganwinchester1999​ @agniavateira​ @forthebrokenheartedthings​ @summersong69​ @starlite13​ @mstgsmy​ @purplelove75​ @defffcc​ @the-soot-sprite​ @kissthatlifeaway @atomicpaperhairdouniversity​ @aquariuslavenderhoney​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @the-problem-of-leisure​ @amberlokabrenna​

[briswriting]

『 a soft morning with kenma before leaving for class 』

pairing: kenma kozume x gn!reader genre: fluff wc: 1663

a/n: a little self indulgent fic i whipped up for kenma’s birthday because he deserves the world and i love him very much !!! also sorry this is not proof read and the banner is kinda lame cause i have to start getting ready for work LOL

Mornings with Kenma in your shared apartment were never routine. Every day started differently.

Some days you woke up to him by your side, a lean arm draped over your waist, legs entangled with yours, the sight of his sleeping face partly covered by strewn hair the first thing your bleary eyes see when they open to the sound of your school alarm.

Other days you woke up to the spot beside you in bed cold and untouched throughout the night, the faint sound of clicking and quiet mumbles coming from where he had his desk set up in the small spare room on the other side of the thin apartment wall.

Today you had woken up to yet another empty side of the bed, but this time the covers beside you were still somewhat warm; the lingering scent of your shampoo remain settled on his pillow, informing you that he had at least come to bed after all.

A slight smile coming to your face at one of the earliest memories you shared with him when you first moved in together.

“Kenma, have you been using my shampoo?” You ask, peeping your head into the small office.

“Hmmm?” His cat like eyes flittering across the editing software on his monitor, paying no attention to you or the question you asked him.

“Have you been using my shampoo?” You repeat, walking into the room and placing yourself behind his gaming chair. Arms reaching out to wrap around his shoulders as you lean in to watch the screen with him, his tense form immediately relaxing into your embrace.

“No.”

“You’re lying.”

“Nope.

“Yes.”

“No.”

“You washed your hair last night. I can smell it.”

“Okay, fine, I do. We live together anyway, might as well just share, so we aren’t spending money on two different bottles.”

“Hmm, I guess that makes sense. I’ll start buying the bigger bottle then so we don’t run out as fast.” Your brain mentally making a note to remember for your next run to the store.

“It smells like you too. That’s why I use it,” he admits, eyes still not leaving the monitor in front of him as he softly talks to you. A soft smile growing on his face as you hide your own into the crook of his neck because of his words.

Your mind is immediately brought back to reality when the blaring of your alarm goes off, indicating that it was time for you to start getting ready for your classes. Letting out a groan as you stretch out your tired limbs, you feel around the bed for your phone, remembering that you had fallen asleep scrolling through your social media apps while waiting for Kenma to come to bed.

Sitting up and rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you notice that your phone is placed on your bedside table, the small cat cable bite of your charger plugged into the end of your phone. Another smile growing on your face as you realize that Kenma must have walked in on you sleeping with your phone in hand, plugging it in for you before going to sleep himself.

Turning off the alarm and finally slipping out of bed, feet softly padding across the cold wooden floor beneath it, letting out a loud yawn as you walk to the bathroom across the hall.

Opening the door, you’re unprepared to be greeted by the harsh yellow shine of the bathroom lights, eyes quickly closing in distress as you let out a groan, face twisting in discomfort.

You’re about to open your mouth to shout out to wherever Kenma was in the small apartment that he, again, left the lights on, a habit you had noticed ever since moving in with him.

But as your eyes open, you realize that Kenma is, in fact, in the bathroom, clad in his pajamas, hair still a mess from the hours of sleep, toothbrush moving back and forth in his mouth as he stands in front of the sink.

“Oh. Good morning,” you mumble out, pressing a quick kiss to his puffed out cheek before grabbing your own toothbrush and the tube of toothpaste.

Spitting out the toothpaste in his mouth and quickly rinsing out the remains, Kenma quirks an eyebrow at you as you start brushing your teeth. “You were going to yell at me for the lights again, weren’t you?”

“Cam’t repie, I’m bwushing my teef,” you tease out, toothbrush still in your mouth, a playful smile on your face.

He just smiles back before leaning in to press his own kiss against your puffed out cheeks.

“I made breakfast. Come eat before you have to leave.” Slender fingers reaching up to softly flick your nose, his delicate laughter filling the small bathroom as your face scrunches up at him before he turns around to head towards the living room.

Your mind quickly forgetting the small flick as you think of the breakfast waiting for you. Stomach grumbling loudly at the thought of eating an actual meal before class and not a quick granola bar or bagel on your way out.

Eyes widening at the loud noise your empty stomach made, wondering if Kenma had heard it on his way out. More laughter fills your ears as you reach out to turn the water faucet on, indicating that, yes, he had heard the monstrous noise your body had made at the thought of the meal waiting for you.

Hastily you finish getting ready in the bathroom, walking back into the bedroom to change out of your pajamas quickly. Grabbing one of the sweaters thrown over the foot of the bed to wear in the icy lecture halls, you had your classes in, paying no mind to which sweater it was as you shove it into your bag.

Dropping your bag by the front door with a light thump, you finally place yourself next to Kenma on the couch, your breakfast waiting on the coffee table. Your mouth watering at the sight of a plate full of pancakes and fresh fruits set out for you to eat.

Kenma laughs at you again for the third time that morning as his golden eyes watch you shovel the food into your mouth. “Slow down, you’re gonna choke.”

“Mmmm tastes so good,” you groan out, mouth full of the sweet and fluffy cake.

The two of you sit in a comfortable silence as the both of you eat the meal Kenma prepared, the TV in front of the two of you quietly playing a random show that Kenma had turned on earlier that morning while making breakfast.

“What are we watching?” Your question breaking the silence between the two of you.

“No clue.” His answer quickly causing the two of you to look at each other before breaking out into laughter. The giddy aura that surrounds the two of you quickly cut off by another alarm blaring from your phone, indicating that it was finally time for you to leave for today’s classes.

As you get up to go quickly wash your dishes in the kitchen, Kenma reaches out to grab them from your hands.

“I’ll clean up in a bit. You better start heading to class before you’re late and can’t find a good seat again,” he points out, stacking your empty plate on top of his and placing the dishes in the sink.

Letting out a small sigh at the thought of having to go to class, you head over to the front door, leaning down to put on your shoes and to pick up your school bag. You’re about to reach for the handle of the door when you feel a presence behind you.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” You hear Kenma ask quietly.

Turning around, you give him a questioning look, head slightly tilted to the side as you try to remember what you could have forgotten. Kenma silently watching you as your eyes quickly widening in remembrance.

Leaning in, you press a delicate kiss to his soft lips. A smile on your face as you pull away. Your eyes blinking confusingly as you come to notice that Kenma’s eyes are blown wide, a reddening blush rising to his face.

“I meant this, but thanks,” he mumbles out, thrusting his right hand out to you to reveal your keys that you had forgotten to grab from the key holder on the wall.

“So, you didn’t want a goodbye kiss?” You teasingly ask as you grab the keys from his fingers, making sure to safely put it in one of the pockets of your bag.

“Goodbye kisses are nice too,” he grumbles out. “But I don’t want you getting locked out while I’m in class. Now hurry up and leave before you’re late.” His hands placing themselves on your shoulders as he turns you around and lightly pushes you towards the door.

“Okay okay, I’m going,” you laugh out as you exit the comfort of your apartment and enter the hallway of the complex. “See you tonight!” You call out as he slowly shuts the door behind you.

A couple of moments later, you receive a text message from him. See you tonight <3

Your eyes scan the short yet sweet message as a smile forms on your face, thoughts occupied by memories of your boyfriend as you walk to class.

As a slight breeze flutters through the air, goosebumps growing on your exposed arms. Reaching into your bag, you carefully put on the hoodie you had thrown in earlier that morning. Only to realize that it wasn’t your sweater, but Kenma’s prototype merch sweater that he had received from the merchandise company.

Another smile grew on your face as the warmth of his hoodie enveloped you; the sweet smell of your shared shampoo filled your nose as you happily walked to class, looking forward to the end of the day where you can be embraced by him once again.

[aressss1]

Through Fire and Ice

(Technoblade x Reader) 

Chapter 1

Next Chapter

~~~~~~

They had caused this… An ice age the likes no one had ever seen before. A world thrown out of whack… The party of four, Philza, Technoblade, Tommy, and Tubbo had slain the dragon in the end realm. The final blow dealt to the neck of the dragon; had brought on a chill they had never felt before. Though they didn’t truly recognize what had happened until they got back to the overworld. Tommy and Tubbo had jumped through the portal first. Technoblade had stayed back looking toward his friend Phil.

 Every breath they took could be seen due to the cold, but Phil was not bothered too much by it. He had read many scriptures leading up to this moment. As he excitedly looked out into the void, his hands on his hips. The pink haired man walked to Phil’s side. Phil’s eyes shined as he looked over at Techno, a smile gracing his lips.

“Hey mate.” Phil greeted Technoblade, “We did it!” Philza beamed putting his hand out as if to grasp onto something that just wasn’t there. “Do you know what lies just beyond that void?” Techno cocked his head to the side.

 “Uuuuuuhhhh” Techno said in a monotone voice, thinking but nothing came to him. “I have absolutely no clue.” Techno shrugged his shoulders crossing his arms, hoping that would help warm him up somehow.

 “There are cities out there, Techno,” Philza mused, “Filled with exceedingly rare items, just ripe for the taking!”

 “Heh?” Techno looked through the pig skull he wore as a mask, at Phil bewildered looking out into the void. There was nothing but an inky blackness, the thought of it made his head spin. “Who do you think made those cities? Are they still there? Do you think they’ll let us just run off with their items?” Philza just shook his head.

 “The scriptures read, that these cities are abandoned, I’m almost certain of it.” Philza pulled out a scroll from his robes, unraveling it to read it. “They do have some very… interesting defenses, so do be careful.” Phil added after a moment of reading.

 “Uh huh…” Techno looked over the edge slightly leaning over it kicking a rock with his shoe into the void. “There’s just one flaw to your plan…” Techno looked back to Phil, “How do you plan to get over there?” Phil donned a playful smirk, handing Techno building materials.

 “How ‘bout a race old friend?” Phil had challenged, watching the smile widen on Techno’s face.

 “Perhaps…” Techno was already getting into position to start the race and they once they both were ready, they started building out toward the void, starting their search for the valuables the scriptures had promised them.

 -

 In the overworld, Tommy and Tubbo were chattering talking about how cool that fight with the dragon was. Tommy was boasting about how cool he was.

 “I am massive Tubbo, that dragon has never seen the likes of me before!” Tommy proclaimed jerked a thumb toward his chest. Tubbo gave a confused look tilting his head, his hand coming up in a questioning gesture.

 “Didn’t Techno have to help get a hoard of endermen off of you?” Tubbo innocently inquired, causing Tommy to bust up in nervous laughter.

 “Listen- Tub-Tubbo,” Tommy feigned his confidence, “It’s all a part of the plan!” Tommy gave a wide smile to his best friend, “I had to help get them off Philza, Big Man.” Tubbo still looked confused as they walked up the stairs to exit the stronghold.

 “Mmmm, but weren’t you screaming for both Phil and Techno to help you?” Tubbo asked, and he was immediately hushed by tommy.

 “Listen, that was just me stroking Technoblades ego, it’s very fragile you know!” Tommy declared and he finally had a sigh of relief when Tubbo shrugged and didn’t press further on the subject. “You were great too big man!” Tommy nudged Tubbo in the arm. “It wasn’t easy breaking those crystals.” Tubbo nodded in response but started rubbing down his arms trying to get warm, his breath coming out in puffs of steam.

 “Aren’t we in a desert?” Tubbo asked his teeth started to chatter. As they got closer to the surface, the colder it got. Tommy rubbed his hands together trying to use his breath to warm up his fingers. Tommy nodded, just as confused as Tubbo.

 When they had reached the entrance of the stronghold and they were at the surface and their eyes widened at the snowy sight before them.

 “Snow!” Tubbo squealed out happily, there wasn’t too much snow sticking to the sandy ground, but they could definitely start to catch the snowflakes on their tongues. The two boys ran forward laughing and playing in the ever-growing winter wonderland.

 -

 You found yourself sitting below a tree reading your book in the shade, it was a normal day. The day was warm, and you found yourself enjoying the occasional breeze that would roll through. You often came to this spot to read whatever book took your fancy, sighing contentedly you let your fingers stroke over the pages of the book. Opening the book to where your bookmark was, you started reading.

The rustle of the leaves in the tree calmed you as the branches swayed with the wind. You could even hear distant clucking from a nearby chicken. Stretching out in the shade of your tree, your eyes scanned over the words of your book. There was no other place you would rather be right now.

You had lost track of time, and the thing that was able to knock you out of your trance was a sound… You didn’t know how to describe it, but the sound came from a distant land it seemed. It was… discomforting. Something was happening and you didn’t know exactly what. Looking around everything seemed normal. You were in the forest, with no one around. It sounded extremely far off… But you didn’t know if it was a good sound or not. Nothing else happened after that so you shrug it off.

 Before too long, you had forgotten about the sound, putting your nose right back into that book again. But this time around twenty minutes later, you had gotten cold, and that was what tore you away from the book. Looking around once more you were able to catch the first few snowflakes to fall to the ground. Unbeknownst to you a thick fog had rolled in around you as well.

 “Wha-?” You whispered to yourself quietly. You slowly got up feeling your bones give off a crack sound from the movement. Stretching you put your book in your book bag and left in the direction of your home. You were a little annoyed being that you were almost done with your book, but it was time that you got a move on with your day at this point. You had to get home and get a fire started in your cottage so that you wouldn’t be cold.

 It was weird how fast the chill had crept up on the day in summer, and you had a worrying thought about the sound that you heard from the distance. Maybe the two had correlated… But you couldn’t be too sure, you had never heard that noise before.

 The fog rolled in heavily as minutes passed by and you couldn’t see a foot past your face. This was worrying… One wrong turn and you would be heading the opposite direction from your house. That thought terrified you. Considering the closest village was miles away from you, and that was if you were heading in the right direction. You hadn’t scouted the other directions yet. You were still new to the area…

 Feeling a twinge of annoyance at your now runny nose, you stopped and looked around hoping there was something that you could identify. Nothing but the nearby trees caught your attention in the haze. The snowflakes seemingly got much larger in the passing minutes and they had no trouble sticking to the ground. You decided to just keep going. You had to keep moving so you wouldn’t freeze.

 You had willed yourself to go just a bit more through what was becoming a fully-fledged snowstorm. Fingers and toes were starting to ache. Had you known that it was going to snow today, you wouldn’t have opted to wear summer clothing, the shorts and tank top were not helping in any case. One thing was for sure, you were going to find somewhere to get out of this snowstorm, be it your own cottage or someone else’s, you were going to get there.

 -

 Philza and Techno were back at the end portal their inventories filled to the brim with treasures. Winglike contraptions strapped to their backs, made it possible for them to fly, or at least glide through the air. This was the main item Philza had been looking for, and Techno was glad to be here for the expedition. Techno had even let out a high pitch gasp in delight when they had found a second, as Phil called it, Elytra for Techno.

 “Aye mate,” Philza tapped Techno on the shoulder, “Ya think we should take the egg?” He pointed to the egg on top of the bedrock pillar.

 “Does it count as an orphan?” Techno grinned amused as Phil busted up laughing.

 “I suppose so,” Phil chuckled as he quickly built up to the egg, careful not to fall into the portal below.

 “This is going to be the ultimate orphan trophy,” Techno mused as he watched Phil reach out to take the egg. But before Phil could get a finger on the egg… It was gone.

 Phil let out a very confused and loud “What!?” before looking around for the egg further, it had teleported just few feet away, untouched. Techno laughed at Phil who climbed down from the pillar.

 “You just got denied!” Techno taunted, wafting away some stray hair from his face. Phil puffed out a sigh and pulled out his scrolls to see if he had missed anything about the egg. Techno looked over the man’s shoulder. He couldn’t read anything on the scroll, that was Philza’s department… Even so… That wasn’t the language villagers usually spoke.

 “Mmmm, seems like we can’t interact with it ourselves mate.” Philza’s hand covered his mouth in thought. “I have a plan,” Philza grabbed his bag and walked over to the egg. “Techno, dig out just enough for the egg to fall into the bag.”

 “Alright.” Grabbing his pickaxe, he dug out just enough of the end stone for the egg to topple over safely into Philza’s bag.

 “There we go!” Philza beamed holding the bag up. The top of the egg could barely be seen. He closed up the bag and strapped it over his shoulder. “Let’s get back to the boys, I’m tired of this chill in the air.”

 “We gotta pack extra clothes when we come back for the other cities,” Techno mused pulling his blue cloak around him to help stave off the chill. Phil grunted in agreement and he made his way back to the portal. With one step into the portal, he was gone.

 Techno lingered for a moment, his eyes searching the darkness. Had the dragon killed the inhabitants of the cities? Or… Was it something else? This realm was lonely, he wasn’t sure he wanted to come back here. The deafening silence was eerie. Shaking his head, he jumped through the portal. His eyes closed; he felt his stomach turn into knots. His body flew out of the other side of the portal and he orientated himself to land on his feet, though he kneeled when he felt his feet touch the floor to keep his balance.

 “Everything good mate?” Phil asked extending his hand to Techno, who took it nodding his thanks. “Good.” Making sure they had everything, they opt to go up the stairs. At a certain point they could hear the boys outside playing and laughing.

 “Am I missing something here? Why is it cold in the middle of the desert?” Techno asked with an edge to his voice. Something definitely wasn’t right. Phil shrugged looking on with an equally worried expression. The entrance they had dug had flurries of snow covering the first few steps.

 “It’s the middle of summer at that…” Phil hurried his step, when the two men had gotten to the surface they were met with the sight of Tommy and Tubbo having a snowball fight. The boys peered over at them excitedly. They both ran up to Phil and Techno sizing up their new gear.

 “So that’s what you’ve been up to,” Tommy pouted his eyes wandering over the elytras on Phil and Techno’s backs. “Why didn’t take us,” Tommy whined motioning to himself and Tubbo. “I want… Whatever that thing is.”

 “Tommy, I hear you, but I really don’t think it’s the time for that,” Phil put his hand on Tommy’s shoulder, as he looked around the snowy area. “We need to get back home.” Tommy scoffed but before he could retort Techno chimed in.

 “We don’t want to hear it Tommy, something is going on and we need to figure out what.” Techno looked toward Phil. Ignoring Tommy muttering to himself about how it was unfair that they got all the cool loot, and he didn’t. “We need to talk to the others and make a plan of action if this storm doesn’t stop,” Phil nodded, “I’m going to get some supplies, take them home and call the others for a meetin’.” The plan was set, and everyone headed off on their journeys.

 ~~

 Techno was in a bit of a bind. He was stuck in fog, and there were strays shooting at him from all directions. He didn’t know where an arrow would come from next. Some even got close enough to hit him using melee. Their ability to slow their enemies was annoying but Techno made quick work of them for the most part.  He knew he was on the right path to his cottage.

 An agonized scream echoed out, making Techno’s head snap up, his heart dropped, and he trudged further. His steps taking their sweet time as he was still affected with slowness. He listened for anything but didn’t hear another noise other than the crunching snow under his feet, but he soon found red droplets in the snow. Someone out here was injured… Following the trail of blood, he eventually found a body in the snow.

 You were riddled in arrows, breathing shallowly, lying face down in the snow. Unfastening his cloak, he wrapped you in the clothing and lifted your body with ease. You made some sounds of protest, which caused him to believe you were awake.

 “Stay with me okay?” His deep voice called to you, causing your eyes to flutter open and meet his. You were having trouble keeping focus. Your eyes skimming over the mask he wore on his face. Fear courses through you. “You will be okay.” He reassures you; he can see your fear. He doesn’t blame you; it would be off-putting to be hurt, and to suddenly be carried by a man you didn’t know who was wearing a boar skull as a mask. You let out a little sigh, your body going limp in his arms.

 Techno looked around, this had brought him off course, but he kept his compass on him, pointing to a lodestone he had in his house. Reading the compass, he trudges on, with you in his arms, still dodging arrows. It wasn’t too long of a walk before he suddenly had the cottage in his view, and he kicks the door open. Hurriedly he sets you down onto the floor next to the fireplace. Quickly lighting a fire, he searches his chests for any and all health potions.

 He was going to have to pull all those arrows out of you, one by one. He wasn’t looking forward to it. He peeled the bloody cloak off your body, examining your wounds. He sighed in relief. Your wounds could be easily healed with his potions. He counted three arrows stuck in your legs in all directions and two in your back. Your skin was frostbitten, and your lips were blue.

 Clipping the arrows shorter he made quick work, of the ones in your back. If they had hit any deeper, he would have been worried. Even so, your blood started to pool on his cloak that lie beneath you. Splashing a health potion on your back closed the wounds but they left definite scars. Now he was onto the arrows in your legs. He tended to the wounds in your legs just as he did with the ones in your back.

 Looking down at his handy work, blood all over his hands, he pushed back thoughts, the voices that liked to plague his mind coming back for a split second. Hands shaking, he got up to wash his hands, only to find that the pipes had been frozen. With an irritated sigh he grabbed a bucket and started filling the cauldron above his fire with snow.

 You were caked in blood and he wanted to have a bath ready for you when you woke up, he didn’t like seeing blood smeared on anyone, not even himself, as it just made the voices in his head stronger. He had tended to Tommy like this once upon a time when Tommy had overestimated himself and he fell from a cliff. Back then he didn’t have control over the voices like he did now. The memory made him shudder.

 Sighing he searched his fridge; you both were going to be here for a while, and you were going to need to regain your strength.  He had a good supply of potatoes, steak and carrots, that could keep the two of you going for a few days. To Techno, you didn’t seem like a fighter, so he wasn’t too worried you were going to stab him in the back but who knew, maybe he was wrong. If he was… Then he would be ready.

 Either way, the both of you had time to get to know each other.

[megalony]

After the show

This is a Harry Styles imagine that I hope everyone is going to enjoy, feedback is always appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Masterlist

Summary: Harry and (Y/n) finish up a show and he helps her when she doesn’t feel very well.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With a sigh of utter relief, (Y/n) moved her hand to rub at her neck where a particular muscle was beginning to tighten like it was on a string that was being tightened.

The heels of her shoes clicked against the metal stairs she descended down, trying to hurry and get herself to the dressing room and change before it was time to disappear from this venue and get some much needed sleep. She couldn't have been more thankful that there was no meet and greet after this particular concert, in fact, a lot of the shows on this tour didn't have a meet and greet after the show and it was a God-send to (Y/n). As much as the fans meant to her, the concerts always took every ounce of energy and reserves she had left and trying to keep up the act of pretending to be okay wouldn't be easy after a concert.

It took all (Y/n) had not to grimace and groan in discomfort when the tightening feeling in her neck spread up until it spiralled around her jaw that was becoming very tense as of late. The aching in her jaw felt like someone was hacking away at the bone with a hammer, chipping little pieces off and causing (Y/n) the most pain but also drawing that pain out to make it last.

The ending of the concert couldn't have come soon enough for her liking. Being out there performing to the crowds was something she knew she wanted to do for the rest of her life because it was everything (Y/n) ever wanted. But doing this for the rest of her life didn't seem like a possibility when finishing this current tour was turning into a difficult task in itself.

When (Y/n) turned a sharp left corner and headed into the dressing room backstage she just caught sight of Harry following her and she shivered at the sympathetic look she could see in his eyes.

The pair had been doing this joint tour for two months now and Harry could never quite seem to be able to overcome the sadness that washed through him whenever he saw the pain (Y/n) went through. When he saw her coming off stage looking like she was about to cry from pain was not something he thought he would ever have to witness. It made Harry sad that doing the job she loved gave her so much pain because if singing gave him half as much pain as it did her, he wouldn't know if it was truly worth it.

Harry had done many tours so he knew how much they could take out of a person. He knew it took a lot of energy to go on stage for two hours and dance and sing and be happy and try to interact with everyone. But he didn't know how (Y/n) did it when she had a muscle disease that made singing painful after a while.

(Y/n) had muscular dystrophy which affected the muscles and it made them weak and deteriorate and it affected her heart too. The type she had was affecting her upper back, neck and face first and it would spread in years to come. Knowing it spread very slowly over time didn't help (Y/n) when the disease had gone for her neck and face first which affected her career. She could still speak properly, she could sing, she could move her head and her neck and jaw perfectly. But the disease made her affected muscles tense and pained because they were growing weak and it meant that singing hurt after a while.

The rushes of adrenaline and the music and crowds didn't help her heart either but (Y/n) couldn't quit. Music was her life and performing was what she loved and was good at, in a few years time it might not be a possibility anymore and so she needed to make the most of it now whilst she still could.

"Are you okay?" Harry tried to keep his tone light as he entered the dressing room behind her before shutting the door so no one else would come in or hover around like the crew sometimes did.

He watched (Y/n) look around for some clothes to change into and he almost felt bad for asking but he couldn't help it. She looked like the pain was worse tonight and he wanted to make sure she was okay and see if there was anything he could do to help. They had been a couple for a few months now and it was very clear to Harry from the beginning that (Y/n) didn't like admitting when her condition was flaring up or starting to get her down. He had to guess when she was trying to hide it and wear her down until she finally talked to him and let him help any way he could.

"I'm okay, just want to get back to the hotel."

"You can say if you're in pain you know. Two and a half hours of that surely can't feel amazing." Harry changed his shirt before his eyes locked with (Y/n) who looked like she wanted to admit how much pain she was in but was deciding against it.

She had to put on a mask when on stage and force herself to smile whenever she felt any kind of pain because none of the public or the fans knew of her condition and she wanted it to stay that way. Plus it wouldn't be very nice if she was frowning or hissing in pain or looked angry like she wanted to leave when she was performing a concert.

"Everything feels like it's on fire and my heart is burning from the adrenaline." (Y/n) saw the look of sadness in Harry's eyes because he couldn't imagine how that must feel. He knew the feeling of his heartbeat pulsing in every vein and artery in his body but that didn't hurt, it just made him feel alive. For (Y/n) it felt like each beat of her heart was becoming harder to do and it felt like she was going to be sick or faint.

(Y/n) held her hand out for Harry so they could go back to the tour bus, the sooner she had her medication and got back to the hotel, the better she would feel.

As they headed back out into the corridor and started to head down to get out into the car park, they felt the crew following them. There was their tour manager, a few bodyguards for precaution and a few other crew who had to tag along. It always felt strange to both singers when they were followed by an entourage wherever they went, it didn't seem right when they had both grown up as part of normal society where bodyguards had never been needed up until they became noticed by the world. Not to say they weren't thankful for the crew, it was just strange, even now after years of going through these tours.

When they got down to the last corridor that led out into the car park, Harry turned to look at (Y/n) when she started to slow down

"What's wrong?" Harry leaned his head closer to her own so he could whisper the words in her ear without anyone else listening in but he felt his anxiety growing when (Y/n) looked like she was about to pass out or fall asleep standing up.

A sudden flurry of white spots danced across (Y/n)'s vision when she felt her heart shuddering in her chest, a familiar feeling signalling that the impulses in her heart weren't working properly. Her body gave way for a split second as her mind felt like it had some sort of glitch, as if she was about to pass out but stopped herself at the last second.

Her knees caved in and her head was suddenly too heavy for her to hold up causing her head to snap back which felt like her neck had broken when the muscles started to scream. Her breathing stuttered as a burst of agony flooded through her whole body.

Turning his head so quickly he almost got whiplash, Harry stumbled to a stop when he felt (Y/n) crumble beside him. He watched as her head fell back and her eyes fluttered like she had blacked out for only one second. Harry let go of her hand so he could wrap his arms around her to stop her from falling to the ground. (Y/n) managed to move her shaking hands to grab onto Harry's arms for support and she tried to force her knees to straighten out when Harry gently pulled her up so she was standing again.

He took most of her weight before moving her backwards until she was leaning up against the wall. He turned her head so she was looking up at him, noticing it took her a few seconds to focus her eyes on him.

"(Y/n), you with me?" His tone was concerned yet sweet like it was dipped in honey. He leaned his head down a little due to the height difference so he could look at her properly, brushing his thumb across her cheek as she managed to nod, lips twitching from the pain the movement caused in her neck.

"J-just my heart." She responded, breathing through the words as Harry watched her come back to Earth rather quickly. In any other situation Harry would have commented on how she spoke like that was a normal thing, but then again this was sort of a normal occurrence for her.

Harry knew he needed to get her back on the tour bus so she could get her meds and get her back to the hotel quickly.

"Do you think you can walk, we need to get you to the bus."

(Y/n) took a deep breath before nodding and she pressed her head into Harry's shoulder when he took her weight again, pulling her from the wall and into his chest. His arm secured around her waist keeping her glued to his side as he guided her down the corridor with everyone else following behind, unsure what was happening.

Harry opened the door in front of them to get them outside, noticing some of the production crew were already outside and waiting nearby or already on the tour bus. They all looked over at the pair with rather confusing looks when they noticed how unwell (Y/n) looked. Harry glanced wearily at the crowds that were beginning to flood around them outside, clearly wanting an autograph or to have a chance to meet them both which clearly wasn't going to be an option tonight. He felt a surge of relief when the crew seemed to understand something was wrong and they made sure there was a barrier so none of the fans could get close to the tour bus.

It didn't take them long to get to the tour bus and after taking it slow up the steps to get inside, Harry kept his arms tightly around (Y/n) as he guided her down the bus. The crew on the bus started to crowd around them, asking if they needed anything or what was wrong and it made Harry want to snap. Surely they knew (Y/n) wasn't very well but Harry and the crew were the only ones who knew of (Y/n)'s condition so it wasn't as if they hadn't seen her in a similar state to this before.

"It's alright, let's just get back to the hotel." Harry stated, making sure to keep any annoyance out of his voice because he didn't want to be rude.

He sat down with (Y/n) at the seats at the very back of the bus, watching with sad eyes when she started to subtally shake which made him shake when she wrapped her arms around him like she was trying to disappear.

Their eyes met when he held her hands and moved them to rest in her lap, his eyes telling her that it was alright as he kissed her temple. Harry's eyes told everyone else on the bus to leave (Y/n) alone and to stop pestering her with their persistent questions of 'are you alright' and 'what can I do'. He knew what he was doing and them fussing around her wasn't going to make things better because they weren't doing anything to help, they were only making her anxious and overwhelmed.

He watched (Y/n) in slight pain as she curled up in the seat against the window, tears silently falling down her face as she watched where Harry was going.

The first time Harry had witnessed (Y/n) be in pain from her irregular heartbeats or when she was in pain from her tense, sore muscles he didn't know what to do to help. But now he had come to know which medications she was on and what they did and he tried to figure out different methods and things to do that could help alleviate her symptoms and her pain.

Walking over to the seats that held all of the bags, Harry rummaged around, grabbing the small black bag with the rough exterior material that scratched at the skin. He unzipped it and grabbed one of the many medication bottles before he grabbed a bottle of water and an ice pack from the cooling bag beside him.

Harry sat back down beside (Y/n) and placed the bottled water on the table before he undid the medication bottle and took out two beta-blockers which would help calm down (Y/n)'s heart impulses and muscles. (Y/n) gratefully took the tablets from him and took them with a large gulp of water before she wiped at her eyes with her sleeve to rid her face of the tears she had started to shed.

(Y/n)'s eyes darted up to look at Harry when she felt a sudden shock of cold on her neck. He had his right arm resting o the back of the seat they were leaning against as his left hand was holding the ice pack to her neck to try and calm down the tense muscle. It was a ritual for (Y/n) to grab an ice pack after every show and sit with it plastered to her neck for the ride back to whatever hotel they were staying at. She hardly went anywhere without the cooling pack that was a medication in itself to relieve the pain she always seemed to be getting now as medication simply wasn't doing enough for her weakened muscles.

Leaning over (Y/n) rested her head on Harry's chest just under his chin, relaxing against him when he said nothing in protest against her actions. His hand keeping the ice pack pressed to her neck as he pressed his lips to the top of her head.

Neither of them could wait until they got back to the hotel and got some peace and quiet.

[timelordthirteen]

In All Things 24/?

Mr. Gold/BelleFrench, Explicit (eventually)

Summary: A Rumbelle arranged marriage AU.

Chapter Summary: Gold and Belle have their dance, and after, a quiet chat.

Notes: IT HAS BEEN 84 YEARS. At least it feels like it. Pretty sure 2020 was like 84 years in a trench coat. Writing was so hard the last few months both because of the state the world, and because work literally went batshit crazy starting in September. But, this is a new year and I feel sort of renewed. No, much about the world hasn't changed magically with the flip of a calendar, yet there is a hopeful vibe to everything. We've seen the bottom and we survived it. Thank you to all who commented on this and any of my fics last year. Rereading comments were sometimes all I had to get me by. <3 I hope you enjoy the start of the never ending sexual tension train that this fic is about to become. ;) You're all going to hate me so much. This is Belle’s dress, for those who are interested.

[AO3]

Belle’s head felt like it was spinning as much as her body.

They came to the end of the room, nearer to the music and the fire, and she felt a flash of the heat as Gold stepped to the side and turned them again. Of course it was tradition for the lord of the estate to start things by leading the first dance, and she should have expected that as his wife she was the obvious and only choice for that, yet she had been momentarily startled when he’d asked. Fortunately, she had recovered and taken his hand in time that nothing appeared outwardly awkward or impolite.

He had quietly suggested a simple waltz, which was quite amenable to Belle. She had remembered the steps adequately for the few seconds they had been dancing, but she was grateful that it was at a slower pace than was typically favored for holidays and festivals. She presumed that was due to his leg which had a tendency to ache after too much movement, and the last thing she would want was for him to be in pain simply because of a dance.

She could feel the warmth of his hand as it held hers and the gentle pressure of the other at her waist; neither was not too tight or too loose, but reassuring and steady. Apart from the impulsive hug she’d given him while they were in Avonlea, it was the only time she had touched him this much. It felt strange, but also oddly comfortable, as if they did this every festival and season at the royal court.

Perhaps we will, she thought. They would need to at least appear to the world as though they were married, even if it was strictly a legal formality. The thought of more dances and social gatherings made her stomach dip, and she let out a shaky breath, wishing she’d had a little more wine to calm her nerves.

Belle’s eyes were fixed on the knot of Gold’s ascot, afraid to look anywhere else lest she forget which foot needed to move next, when she felt him stop. Her momentum carried her back and away from him, his hand slipping from its perch high on her waist as he raised their joined hands up over her head. The motion spun her around, sending her skirt flaring outward at her ankles and butterflies scattering in her stomach. She gasped as she came back towards him, her free hand bracing against his chest.

She let out a giggle of surprise and finally met his eyes, which seemed to sparkle with mutual delight, and she smiled as she moved her arm up to his shoulder.

“There you are,” he said, stepping smoothly to the side and guiding her along as if they hadn’t paused at all. “You seemed preoccupied.”

“Sorry,” she replied, her eyes drifting down the gold stitching of his coat. “I was concentrating so I didn’t step on your toes.”

“Oh, you did that several minutes ago. Hardly hurt at all.”

Belle’s eyes went wide, and as her mouth began to gape open, Gold laughed softly. “I’m teasing.”

She swatted her palm against his shoulder playfully as he spun them around the far end of the room. The moment had lightened considerably, and she felt her muscles relax, and the steps of the dance become automatic. “It has been ages since I’ve danced. I feel out of practice.”

“As do I,” he agreed, a light smirking pulling at his lips. “I don’t make a habit of attending balls.”

She laughed lightly at that, pleased that they seem to agree on that matter. While they would still be seen at occasions together, she did not fear being trotted out for every ball and party in the kingdom.

“Thank you for the dresses,” she said after a long moment.

He smiled. “You’re very welcome.”

“I wasn’t sure which to wear for the evening,” she admitted. “They were all so wonderful.”

Gold’s hand tightened around hers ever so slightly, and she looked up, meeting his eyes. They were soft and warm, and she felt her head spinning again as they made one last round past the musicians.

His throat bobbed above the scarf at his neck as he swallowed and said, “I’m glad you chose the blue.”

Her lips curved and she returned his faint squeeze with one of her own, her hands tensing briefly against both his hand and shoulder.

“It’s my favorite color,” she replied, and felt the hand at her waist shift, pulling her a little bit closer. The song began its conclusion, the pace of the violins slowing, and her head turned one way and then the other, catching only glimpses of the faces watching them. “Everyone is staring at us.”

“No,” he said softly, and she gave him a look. “They’re staring at you.” Her eyes widened, and he seemed to sense her discomfort and smiled reassuringly. “Not that I can blame them; you’re the most beautiful woman in the room.”

Belle’s breath caught, but before she could think of a response, the music ended, the horns fading as the strings played out the last few notes. They came to a stop almost exactly where they had started, in the middle of the room where there was a pattern of inlaid squares in walnut and cherry. Gold caught her eyes with his, right before she felt her body dip backwards. She let herself bend against his arm, his hand firmly splayed at her back, trusting that he wouldn’t let her fall.

It was no more than a second that he held her before he was pulling her upright, the movement as smooth and sure as their dance had been. Her right hand was still in his, her other gripping his arm lightly, and when she looked up, he was gazing down at her with an expression she couldn’t read. Her head felt light again, which she thought must have been from bending and straightening so quickly. She blinked, and inexplicably her eyes drifted down, realizing that his face was quite close to hers, so close that she could feel his breath on her skin.

Light clapping startled Belle and she stepped away, slipping her hand from Gold’s as they turned to face their audience. She found Astrid’s face in the crowd, beaming widely at her, and kept her eyes fixed on her friend as Gold walked them back to their table.

She dropped into her chair, immediately reaching for her glass of wine as several couples stood up and made their way out onto the floor. The music started up again, and she exhaled what felt like a breath she’d held too long. Her lungs seemed to burn and the lightheadedness persisted for several minutes, until Astrid came bounding over with Ruby and the two of them filled the space with idle conversation and gossip. She only half paid attention to it, her eyes following Gold as he made his way around the room to more intimately greet his guests.

The rest of the evening passed in what Belle would describe as a festive blur. Her face hurt from smiling almost as much as her feet hurt from dancing, and she smiled as she wiggled her toes against the plush rug. Her shoes sat to the side on the wood floor between the edge of the rug and the wall, discarded before they could cause any blisters. The last of the guests were leaving in their carriages, or being directed to one of the many guest rooms, and she had taken the opportunity to steal away to the library. It was cool and dark, save for the candles on the mantle and the fire, exactly what she needed after so many hours of being sociable.

Sighing, she pressed her palm to the window overlooking the patio, and then laid it against the back of her neck. Her skin had felt almost feverish from her first dance with Gold all the way through her last with Jefferson. In the middle, she’d whirled around the room with Astrid, Ruby, Leroy, Baeden, and so many others, her head buzzing with wine and sweets. There had been one more dance with Gold towards the end, though it was a line dance where couples traded off partners. She was once again surprised when he asked her, and had feared it would be like their first dance, until she saw the others arranging themselves.

Gold came into the library just as she was pushing both of her hands against the glass and transferring the cold to either side of her neck.

“There you are.”

She twisted and looked over her shoulder with a smile, amused that he’d repeated his earlier words and wondering if he’d even noticed he’d done it. “Sorry, I just needed a minute.”

He nodded. “No matter.”

“Everyone settled?” she asked, pulling her hands away from her skin and rubbing them together to rewarm her fingers.

Another nod, and then he sighed. “Only three rooms in use tonight. Martha Lucas, Miss Lucas, and the Countess. Everyone else has gone home.”

Belle smiled again. “You have very interesting friends.”

His eyebrows lifted and he glanced at her sideways. “I suppose that’s one way of putting it. I apologize if Lady de Vil made you uncomfortable. She can be - an acquired taste.”

She laughed softly and turned to face him, her back towards the chill of the window, which still felt quite nice. “No, she’s - she’s very nice.” He gave her a look, and she added, “If a bit... intense, at times. I think I would like to know her better, as you do.”

Gold smiled at that and nodded. “I’m sure she’d be delighted.”

Silence settled between them as they watched the light snow falling outside, but Belle had the sense that something had changed. There had been something about their dance together, alone in the middle of the ballroom, which felt...significant. It was their first true public appearance as Lord and Lady of the estate, the first time so many people had been watching them, and that combined with what he’d said to her - you’re the most beautiful woman in the room - had left her feeling even more dazed than the wine.

What was stranger still was that she liked it.

“Did you - did you enjoy yourself this evening?” he asked, his voice quiet and almost wavering with uncertainty.

Belle glanced up at him and smiled. “Yes, very much. My feet might not share that opinion, however.”

Gold chuckled softly and nodded towards her empty shoes. “I think my leg agrees with your feet.”

She laughed at that and bent to pick them up, hooking her fingers in the heels. “I couldn’t bear them another minute.”

“I’m not one to judge,” he said. “If mine didn’t have so many laces I’d do the same.”

“Does it hurt much?” she asked, looking sideways at his leg. He wasn’t using his cane, which didn’t necessarily mean he wasn’t in pain, just that he didn’t need it to walk.

Gold shrugged. “Some, but I’m sure Jefferson has already left something out for me to take before bed. I’ll be fine.”

“Good.”

Belle could feel sleep begin to pull at her, her shoes felt heavy in her hand, and her body had that telltale heavy sensation, growing the desire to sink into something soft like a sofa cushion or a mattress. She blinked and then a yawn forced its way up out of her that she only barely muffled with the back of her free hand.

“You should get to bed.”

She looked up at Gold, noticing not for the first time how even without her heels he was not too much taller than she was. When they danced her shoes had made her the perfect height, but even now, standing flat on her feet, she didn’t feel dwarfed by him as she had with Sir Gaston. It was strange to think of such a thing now, but it eased something inside her and made her feel as though with Cameron she was on equal footing. For the first time she felt that they could truly manage this strange marital arrangement, that they could be partners.

“So should you,” she said finally.

“Yes,” came his soft reply.

She turned to leave, but stopped when he said her name, so light it was almost a whisper, and met his eyes. They were as soft as they had been when he’d told her everyone in the room was staring at her. When he had told her she was beautiful. She swallowed and squeezed her fingers where they held her shoes.

“Thank you,” he said, giving her a small smile.

Her head tilted. “Whatever for?”

At that he shrugged and his grin widened, crinkling the corners of his eyes. “I - I don’t know. For dancing with me. For - for being - here.”

She reached out with her free hand and found his hanging at his side. Their fingers slipped together easily, and she gave them a light squeeze. “Of course.” Then she returned his smile. “We should do it again sometime.”

At that he laughed again, and nodded, swinging their joined hands. “Next time I promise to give you fair warning before I spin you around.”

Belle bit her lip and looked down at their hands, replaying the moment in her mind and longing for the fluttering sensation in her belly again. “No,” she said, before lifting her eyes to meet his, “don’t.”

Gold grinned and raised their hands, his thumb brushing over the ring on her finger, the one he’d put there barely more than two months ago. He bent his head, and Belle held her breath as he pressed his lips to the gold band. It was reminiscent of their wedding, except they were quite alone and the touch of his mouth was firmer, lingering for far longer than the brief brush that had propelled them to this point.

“Good night, Belle.” He caught her gaze and held it over the knuckles of her hand before lowering it a moment later.

She felt his thumb move again, this time over the back of her hand before his fingers left her. “Good night,” she managed to say before hurrying from the room.

In the corridor, Belle set her shoes down and pushed her sore feet into them again, bracing against the doorway of the library. She looked back, briefly, to see Gold facing the window, his hands folded behind him, and then blew out a breath. The wine had made her mind too fuzzy, she decided, and it was best not to think too much about the evening’s events until the morning.

[heart-eye-harrington]

shooting stars never shine for me

Summary: When stuck in the elevator and Dustin can’t sleep he asks you, Robin, and Steve to tell him stories. Steve may let a bit too much slip. Luckily for him, you’re a deep sleeper.

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: mentions of fear

Author’s Note: Hi! I hope you’re doing well! I hope you enjoy this! ♡

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If this were a normal night, you’d have the windows of your room thrown open to let as much of the cool night air in as possible. Cricket chirps would mesh with whatever was playing on the small radio in the corner. You’d have just gotten out of a warm shower and scrubbed away any lingering sticky ice cream from your shift. Whatever thin oversized t-shirt you’d grabbed would hang loosely as you got ready for bed. Maybe don one of the sweatshirts Steve leaned you after leaving a cold closing shift. You’d be comfortable and content. 

Unfortunately, this wasn’t a normal night.

The concrete walls of the elevator shaft seem to suffocate you with their solidarity. Sitting top the elevator gave you a bit of relief from the tightness created by the shelves of boxes. Up here you could watch the elevator cables that twisted like lifeless vines growing into the unknown. You imagined them to be beanstalks, reaching into the clouds to a place of wonder and hope. Even is it was a castle inhabited by giants, at least you would know what kind of danger lied ahead.

The longer you stared into the void above, the more restless you felt. Once comforting sounds like Erica’s snores or Robin’s newest plan echo against the cement and drag you further into the abyss. Each passing hour sews the seeds of discomfort deeper under your skin.

Pushing yourself from your thoughts and spot on the cool metal, you start pacing. Each step brings small creeks from under your feet, adding another white noise to the humming of the fluorescent lights. You keep moving as if the cog in your head won’t turn unless the rest of you is also in motion. 

Steve and Robin watch your pacing from their respective spots. Robin’s crisscrossed legs allow her to more easily trace the drawings on her shoes with the tip of her finger. Steve rests his head on the bent knee he’s holding to his chest, making sure you don’t trip over his extended leg. 

Every so often your gaze wanders over to Steve, only to find him already looking at you. He sends a comforting smile, blanketing you with warmth like the worn cotton sheet waiting for you on your bed. It’s familiar and soft.

“Son of a bitch” 

Three sets of eyes snap to the source of the sound. A yellow and green hat sat atop a head of messy curls pops into view from inside the elevator. Dustin groans again as he tries to pull himself up. Seeing as you’re closest to the trap door, you’re the first to his aid. Steve’s just a second too slow, standing behind you ready to jump into action in case he was needed. Dustin didn’t need much of a pull, just a hand to hold, one you’re eager to give. He quickly joins the three of you, finding a spot to sit next to Robin. You and Steve squat across from the pair. 

“What’s up bud? Can’t sleep?” concern is evident in your words, causing the corner of Steve’s lips to tug up. The size of your heart could be measured in small movements like this. You show your unconditional love through not only action and your time, but also your words. It comforts Dustin as well, his shoulders visibly relax. He plays with the laces of his sneakers for a beat before answering.

“I think I did for a bit, but couldn’t stay asleep. I don’t know how Erica does it. She’s snoring so loud.” you all laugh and nod, the briefest flash of normalcy before you’re all plunged back in the rough seas of reality. The once calm waves seemed to turn into a raging storm, swallowing anything foolish enough to get close. The feeling of dread nearly drowns you, but Dustin brought a lifeboat. 

“If you could be anyone else, who would you be?” his question seems to be pulled from a daydream, his tone soft and sincere. The question grabs on to your heart and gives it a gentle tug. You know what he really means. 

He’s asking for a distraction, for the illusion of a different scenario. Maybe you’re all sharing a booth at the diner or at a bonfire swapping fantastical stories, like at camp. His maturity and intellect often make you forget that he’s still a kid. Hell, you’re all kids. Kids who’re trapped in a secret Russian elevator, unsure and questioning what’s to come. You can’t give him an answer, you can give him a distraction. 

The three musketeers, a nickname you lovingly gave you and your coworkers, are called to action. Though not as fully equipped as you’d like, ice cream scoopers in your red canvas holsters instead of swords, there’s a different way to fight your way out of this. Hope. 

You stir a bit, taking a moment to reach through the filing cabinet in your mind to find the hidden answer. It had been a while since you answered the question of “what you wanna be when you grow up?” with childlike innocence. You remembered your classmates’ answers; a princess, Spider-Man, a unicorn, James Bond, a mermaid like Ariel.

“I’d be a poet. Not like someone you’d read about in English class, I’d have magic. I’d actually be good with words for once, and anything I said would be beautiful. I’d share my heart and confess the things I yearn, write in verse, and all that cool stuff. It would be filled with jokes and wit, all timed perfectly. My stories would be so wonderful I could throw them into the night sky. The stars and moon could tell my tales” 

Your words hang in the air, replacing the fear with happy contemplation. The story you weaved playing out in everyone’s minds. One part sticks out to Steve, lodging itself in his mind. I’d share my heart and confess the things I yearn. Before he can dwell on your words that tumble through his mind, Robin begins to speak. 

“I’d be a Viking. I’d sail away, see the world. I’d feel the wind, taste the salty sea air. Plus, how badass would it be to storm some beaches?” she chuckles at her vision. Robin cocks her head to glance at Dustin. There’s a gleam in his eyes, a flicker of hope. 

“You’d probably smell like fish.” his eyes crinkle with his small poke in her airtight plan. 

“A small sacrifice for a daring life” a content smirk plays her lips. Content, Dustin’s gaze falls to Steve. He shifts under the boy’s watch, realizing he’s gonna have to come up with something too. He thinks for a moment, then it comes to him. 

“I guess I’d be a hero. Have a sword and some cool armor. Go on quests, ride a horse.” he shrugs, hoping that would be enough. Of course, it’s not for the ever-curious boy. 

“What would your horse’s name be?” Dustin stares expectantly

“I don’t know, I didn’t think that much into it” Steve’s brows knit.

“This is your wildest dream and you don’t have a name for your noble steed?” Steve doesn’t realize how close you were till he can feel the small vibrations of your laughter. 

“Alright, alright. My steed-” he emphasizes the word with a laugh and extended hands, “-would be named Rocky. Ya’know, like the boxer. ” Groans and laughter fill the air. 

Hours of stress finally start to melt away with the swapped stories. The mental exhaustion finally catches up to you, and you feel your lids get heavier. Steve’s voice and body heat lure you deeper in with a sense of safety, an invitation to rest. Before you have a chance to fight it, sleep pulls you in. Your head rests against Steve’s shoulder, quiet snores pass through your barely parted lips. 

Steve’s eyes fall and meet Robin’s. She gestures for him to keep talking, to keep telling a story. When she’s faced with a quizzical look, she realizes she’s gonna have to coax him on. Tell us about a quest you’d go on she mouthes, feeding him a line. 

“Uh-um, I’d be a hero who helps people. I’d be fearless, bravely running into danger to protect others. I’d use my sword to defeat the monsters. I’d have cool advisors who are wiser than me, like uh, maybe a wizard or a certain Viking.” Robin and Dustin laugh at his words, though Dustin’s is much weaker, as sleep begins to soften him. He rests his head beside Robin’s lap and nods for Steve to continue.

“On one of my quests, I’d hear of a treasure in a tower. Of course, I need to check it out. I console my trusty Viking friend and prepare Rocky. I ride through fields and swamps and forests before finding the dungeon. I’d climb the tower and find the most unexpected treasure. It’s a princess, with the most enchanting smile, the biggest heart, and cunning wit. I’d try to carry her away, but she’d be too stubborn and insist on walking on their own.”

You shift more of your weight onto him as rest pulls you deeper in. He wraps an arm around you, gently squeezing your shoulder, savoring the innocent closeness. Steve looks up to see Dustin’s eye almost fully closed. Whatever he’s doing, it’s working

“We’d make our way out of the tower. Standing guard would be a beast, and I’d somehow conquer it. We’d hop upon Rocky and ride off into safety. I’d get the girl. I’d take a breath, and I’d remove my helmet. We’d stare at each other for a moment, unsure of what to do. She’d start talking first, cause I’m never good with words. We’d speak of love, maybe share a kiss. I’d have a hero’s ending, a perfect happy ending.”

Robin grins ear to ear, internally freaking out over Steve’s subconscious confession. Every tiny detail about this dream princess were traits in the sleeping figure curled into his side. Despite her own joyous feelings, she finds a sad expression etched into Steve’s features. He’s absently mindedly rubbing your arm, seeming lost in thought.

“Hey, Harrington” she whisper-screams to him, careful not to wake you or Dustin. 

“It’s not for me.” sadness drips from every word. 

“What?” 

“A perfect happy ending, it’s not for me” His eyes are wide, tears threatening to break his strong facade. Robin had never seen him like this, and it was jarring. 

 “I was a real douchebag. You remember what I was like, I know you do. And I know she does too.” He loosens his grip on you for a moment. Your nose crinkles at the loss, which is permission enough for him to tightly pull you into him. 

“I’m no hero. I don’t deserve the girl and the happy ending they bring with.”

“Steve, look at me.” Robin’s words are stern even in their hushed state, and it’s enough to pull his eyes from you to her. 

“You were a douchebag, I’ll give you that, but you’re so much more. We all see it. Now, that’s as mushy as I’m gonna get. Now stop moping and maybe next time confess your feelings when she’s awake.” and with that, she quiets stands and makes her way into the elevator, leaving Steve to watch over the two left sleeping atop. 

There isn’t even a minute of silence before Steve hears a faint noise. He looks to find Dustin slowly sitting up, groaning as if trying to shake just enough sleep out of him to stand. He’s successful and makes his way to Steve’s side where you’re not asleep. Dustin plops himself down, obviously still groggy. 

“You’re a hero to me.” His words were soft, but the meaning behind them seemed to scream to Steve. He realized he saw himself through rose-colored glasses that had been punched in. The broken glass made things disfigured. He saw only the jagged and broken, the pain and hurt. He saw the King of Hawkins High who’d do anything to keep his crown. 

Maybe that wasn’t true.

Maybe it was time to take the broken lenses and make them into a kaleidoscope. A new way to look at himself. To look to the light and see something beautiful. He could look to the future and be full of hope. He’d still have room to grow, but don’t we all? If he was good enough for Dustin and the rest of the kids, maybe he was good enough for you.

[will-die-without-chai]

I have great taste!

A/N: This is my entry for Muskan’s 500 followers celebration! Congratulations again on this follower milestone Muski ( @thebookwormslytherin​ ) and I can’t wait to write for more such follower milestone celebrations. Also, thank you for hosting this!!!!! Love ya!.And forgive me for this less than subpar submission.

Also this is the first time I’ve tried writing for Sam Wilson so all feedbacks and criticism are most welcome! Hope I haven’t done too bad lol.

Pairing: Sam Wilson x desi!reader (she is not as desi as I wanted but whatevs)

Words: 2752

(College au, roomates au)

Warning: A couple of swear words (And this fic isn’t beta-ed...so)

Prompt: “You got a crush on me? Ew”

Summary: Y/N gets cheated on and had to move out of her ex’s boyfriend’s house. Luckily, Sam’s roomate is moving out as well creating a vacancy. Who knows what outcome staying with your friend can bring about? 

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“I know I am stupid and I never should’ve moved in with him so soon” Y/N sniffled and rubbed her red puffy and tear filled eyes dry with the sleeve of the shirt she had on as she whispered and hiccupped through berating herself after the revelation she had made that very morning. “But I cannot stay in that house Natasha! Not anymore! What do I do?” Natasha, ever concerned, patted her back, sympathy etched deep into her features whilst Y/N continued to whisper her despair into the table top where her head lay. . 

Y/N had just that very morning discovered her boyfriend, or rather ex-boyfriend with his tongue deep in some other person’s mouth, while naked, on the bed they shared. Y/N had been out for the night, studying with Natasha for the upcoming exams and had unexpectedly gone home early in the morning to grab some notes only to be met with the devastating sight.

Needless to say, Y/N bolted out of the very apartment she called home for the past few months, holding back the bile and the tears rising to surface rapidly and rushed back to Natasha’s place which was only a couple of blocks away to unleash the slew of tears and heartbreak.

The sound of the jingling of the lock and the shuffling of shoes against the hardwood announced the return of the boys who had left the girls the night before to  their own devices and had shifted themselves to do whatever it is that college boys do. Steve, Sam and Bucky certainly hadn’t anticipated the sight before them and already had their hackles raised, ready to have a faceoff with whatever had caused unease to their friends, but instantly settled down when Natasha motioned them to. Y/N also had significantly been drawn out of her crying stupor at their entrance.

The boys had the decency to not pry into the matters and let things be told to them, they had learned from previous experiences after all. Nat looked at Y/N and she nodded.

“Y/N went to her apartment this morning and saw Rumlow sticking his tongue deep into someone’s throat. So…” The room went into an uproar and chaos ensured as if all hell had broken loose. A chorus of “Damn it” and “I’ll fuck him up” and certain more colorful words were heard, which were then stopped and the rage was coaxed down by one menacing gaze from Natasha and a tearful sob from Y/N.

Steve immediately found his place beside Y/N and held her under the crook of his arms, hugging her tightly and Bucky and Sam settled for sitting across from them, sympathy and rage and sorrow in equal measures creeping into their features as she once again resumed crying into Steve’s shirt.

After loads of incomprehensive mumbling and sobbing till her throat felt like sandpaper and she could go no further due to exhaustion, Y/N raised her head to face the rest of the group around her. “Now that I have sufficiently rubbed tears and snot all over Steve’s clothes” She snorted causing chuckles to emanate from other’s mouths, “I have to figure out where I am going to stay, given my imminent homelessness.”

“Stay here!  I can crash on the sofa, you can take the room. Nat and Buck already sleep in their room.” Steve piped in from beside her. Bucky nodded in agreement as did Nat.

A small frown took over her face. “No, no” She shook her head. “I can’t. You three are already… I can’t make you sleep on a couch in your own house, Stevie. And I cannot couch crash with the amount of stuff I have. I am definitely not going to let that asshole keep my furniture. They’re too cute and costed a fortune” This was enough to cause smiles to spread on their faces.

“That’s my girl!” Bucky cheered on.

“Yeah so I need more permanent options.”

“What about Tony? We can talk to him—“

“Not Tony!” Y/N cut Bucky off mid sentence. “I am not going to stay with Tony for the same reason Steve won’t. He wouldn’t accept rent and I’ll feel guilty and highly uncomfortable living in that state of art house. How the fuck do you have sex there Steve? Aren’t you afraid you’ll break something?” Steve turned red at the mention of his sex life and Bucky and Sam snickered like a schoolgirl. Natasha, noticing the very apparent discomfort cleared her throat pointedly.

“What about your old apartment?”

 “I think the landlord already rented it to someone else.”

Sam, who had been silent thus far finally decided to speak up, “Riley is moving out in a couple of days. I haven’t looked for anyone yet and I am sure I can’t afford the rent by myself.” He looked at her meaningfully.

Y/N’s eyes brightened. “Of course! Oh you’re a savior Sammy!” She jumped up to hug him and sagged in relief when he wrapped his hands around her.

“Yeah, yeah.” He tried to say nonchalantly but the tender kiss he placed on the top of her head that was buried into his side and the tense look he shot at Natasha who had been wiggling her eyebrows at him betrayed his emotions to the rest of the occupants of the room if not to the object of the emotions.

~~

All of Y/N’s stuff had been picked up and packed into the second-hand pickup truck Bucky owned. ‘It has a certain amount of personality’ he had said when buying it against the wishes of everyone around him. Certain choice words had been spat at Rumlow and papers had been thrown at his face dramatically and tears had been held back satisfactorily. Sam had to be contained to avoid him throwing punches and the party had been successful at extracting all important things from the apartment, furniture included.

It didn’t take much time for Y/N to settle into her new living space. She was fairly familiar with the apartment given all the time she previously spent there trying to make sense of her chemistry notes with Sam. And even though it was a house previously lived in by a couple of boys, it was surprisingly very clean. Her furniture, after a lot of moving it around was satisfactorily placed and dare she say complemented the preexisting stuff in the house very well. (The blue of the couch matched the gray of the curtains Sam had picked very well. He did have a good taste after all!)

It took merely 2 months for them to settle into a nice routine. Sam, the early riser, was responsible for breakfast. Pancakes or waffles or eggs and bacon. He was a masterful breakfast cook and Y/N was forced to adopt healthy eating habits after not much persuasion. Sam had replaced his caffeine fix with Chai*. Although chai was left to be Y/N’s department of expertise. He had tried making it once and it ended with what looked like a grimace and a forced smile on Y/N’s face. Tea making was a talent he didn’t possess.

After her classes finished for the evening, Y/N would go and hang out in the café Sam part-time worked at so they could head back home together. Dinner was on Y/N and her grandma who guided her through video calls had apparently taken a liking for Sam. He had definitely heard whispered conversations in a language he didn’t understand much of and his name being mentioned often. Anyhow, study nights were all the more easier when both the members of the group occupied the same house and there was no fear of notes getting mixed up and rushing over to each other in between lectures to exchange them back. . Life was a well oiled machine when lived with appropriate people, after all.

They had also adapted the system of movie nights. Both had found each other lacking in their own definition of pop culture and had decided to teach the other and make them a respectable member of society, wise enough to get popular references. Saturday nights were mostly unoccupied and hence were conveniently movie nights. Each picked one movie, unseen by the other on alternate weeks. And oh boy, it was an event.

The couch was loaded with throw pillows and blankets, temperature was brought down and hoodies were worn for utmost comfort. Popcorn was popped, candies were bought a plenty and if the occasion called for it, or the ambience of the movie, beer was welcomed. And on occasion, they even fell asleep on the couch (If their backs were witches, they would’ve been cursed by now).

One such night, after loud exclamations of ‘How could you not have watched it!’ and ‘She was my bi awakening!’ and ‘This would not be borne’, Pride and Prejudice was the movie they settled upon. By the end of the movie a half asleep Y/N had ended up draped halfway over Sam with her head comfortably nestled into the crook of his shoulders and neck, her every breath peacefully lulling Sam into the state of drowsiness. Sam knew from previous experiences aplenty that he would regret sleeping like this in the morning but he couldn’t be bothered right now. Future Sam could deal with a bit of back pain.

“It would be nice to have someone to tell you that they love you most ardently. I wish I could have someone tell me that they love me most ardently and mean it.” Y/N mumbled with her eyes closed.

“I will if you let me.” Sam subconsciously let it slip and then tensed up immediately when he realized what he had said. When he did not feel any reaction, he relaxed back again but not without a frown. He half wished she were awake and could listen to what he had said. At least that way it would have been out and on the table. It would also be terribly painful if she didn’t feel the same and ended up feeling uncomfortable around him.

It had taken a very long time for Y/N to again be comfortable and confident after her breakup. She was apparently very serious about the asshole and he had broken her heart. Good thing Sam reciprocated by breaking his nose! (Don’t tell Y/N though. She thinks Brock broke his nose when he fell down the stairs. This was not completely a lie… Sam did push him down the stairs as well. Don’t worry. There were just 5 steps)

Anyhow, it was getting tough for him to control his emotions around her. He couldn’t help but stare at her when she laughed so openly at his lame jokes. He couldn’t help but stare at her lips when she tasted his newest experimentation on pancake batter. He couldn’t help his eyes when they inadvertently went towards her table, when he was supposed to pay attention to the order in front of him at the café. He couldn’t help but deviate towards her at any given chance. He couldn’t help but savor all her little touches. And he was afraid that he was painfully obvious. If not to her then to everyone else around him.

All these thoughts kept encircling his brain and he fell asleep, clutching Y/N a little bit closer than before, burying his nose further into her hair. Morning came and Sam surprisingly woke up alone with a blanket draped over him. Generally he was the first to wake up. He got up and followed the noises coming from the kitchen to see Y/N making breakfast. And of course, chai. Some old Hindi song played on the radio softly and he could see the hello kitty apron he had bought for her as a joke hastily thrown on, its back untied.

It was a picture of serenity, to an outsider maybe. But Sam knew there was something off. Y/N getting up this early, cooking and old hindi songs playing was a deceptive picture that screamed something was bothering her.

“You cooking something, hon?” He said out loud as he made his way to the dining table. Y/N jumped slightly at being startled and then nodded enthusiastically. Almost too enthusiastically. Sam narrowed his eyes. Without turning to face him Y/N explained further. “You were asleep. I woke up early and thought I could make something. It’s been days since we’ve had poha*, no?”

Sam kept quiet and decided to take out plates and set the table instead. They kept working silently but the silence was too heavy. It settled over his skin thickly and Sam didn’t like the feeling. Once they were sat on the table Sam decided to bring up the subject again, the silence and awkwardness becoming a little troubling.

“What’s wrong Y/N? You know you can share it with me. I am here.” He said, placing a comforting hand on hers. Her eyes that were focused on her plate shot unto his face.

“I heard what you said last night.” She blurted out, eyes still trained at him. Sam was stunned into silence and his heartbeat rose rapidly. It was incredibly unexpected and sudden and Sam was caught off guard. Incredibly so.

“You- you did.” He stammered stupidly. Y/N nodded. “I was on the verge of drifting off and I heard it and I-“ She fell silent, her eyes slipped to where his hand rested on hers, her teeth automatically trapping her bottom lip between them.

“I like you. Like like you. I have, since the day we met at Steve’s party and you went on and on about tea and how to make it and how coffee could never compare and you weren’t even drunk!” Y/N let out a chuckle at that and Sam continued. “I couldn’t help but fall for you and I looked for reasons to spend time with you, snatching every opportunity to have you around me. I know I am sounding like the cheesiest cheesy person, like a kraft’s dinner but add cheddar to it level of cheesy, but you being happy makes me so fucking happy! And that’s the point. I can bear to see you be sad and if this makes you uncomfortable, tell me to stop. I will. I won’t mention this ever again and we could go back to being us and you aren’t obligated to reciprocate my feelings or anything. But I think I don’t have it in me to keep it in anymore.”

He finally looked up to look at her and maybe take a breath after the rant he just had in one go and found her still staring at their hands. Assuming that it made her uneasy, he proceeded to take it away, his heart sinking. But he was stopped by her fingers grasping at his sleeves.

She peered from under her tear laced lashes to look at him. “You have a crush on me? Ew” she let out a sound that sounded like something between a sob and a snort and a smile spread across her lips. “I thought you had better taste.” She joked albeit a bit bashfully.

Sam felt a weight lift off his chest and the urge to bang his head against an iron pole reduced significantly. “Hey, I have great taste! I picked up those gray curtains that go so well with your blue couch and that you love very much. Also I introduced you to real maple syrup and took you away from that ‘aunt jemima’ bullshit you were poisoning yourself with.”

“Hey I am a college student who earns just enough to fulfill my bare necessities so give me a break! That shit is costly. And I was the one who introduced you to Mukesh*, okay?” She held his hand now and intertwined her fingers with his.

“Goes to say how good my taste is.”

“I like you too.”

Silence fell over them once again as they giddily looked at each other and held hands, the chai long gone cold and the poha turned a little stiff. But the silence now was palatable, pleasant even.

~~

A couple days  later, chaos ensued again in their little group when Y/N planted a sound kiss on Sam’s lips before separating from the group with a quick cheeky ‘goodbye’ to go to her class. The chorus of ‘How?’ and ‘When?’ and ‘I want details’ and a quiet call of ‘who won the bet then’ left hanging in the air for Sam to answer.

~~

*Translations:

Chai: Chai is tea ofcourse. But its also more than tea. Its an concoction made of tea, water, milk, sugar and spices all meticulously brought to a boil and then heated some more. It is a thing that requires practice, but also some magic.

Poha: Poha is a breakfast food made of flattened rice flakes sauted with onions and other vegetables and spices, according to one’s preferences hich is served warm with a dash of lemon and a sprinkling of coriander (Varun Thakur’s stand up, anyone?) 

Mukesh: A very illustrious, very very famous indian musician from the 60′s and 70′s. He had the voice of an angel.

------------------------------------

Hope this was a bearable read! As said earlier, feedback and criticism is always welcome!

Tagging: @spiderrpcrker​ @officially-tonynat-shrine​ @hoeticulture​ @dragoncreek319​ @severelytinyeagle​ @lgbtonystarks​ @cynical-ravenclaw​ @fandom-is-my-middle-name​ @emilyshurley​ @fiovske​ @bispiderson​ @moonbeambucky @revengingbarnes @shurisneakers @kuuhakublank00 @stardustandbucky @infj-slytherclaw @anjali750 @your-villainous-neighbour @viktorkrumn

[c-harli-e]

Dealmaking 《Charlastor》

    It had been consistently gnawing at him for the past few weeks. Something constantly settled in the back of his mind; endlessly worrying through any defensive mechanisms that he put in place to stop the thought from coming to the forefront of his mind.

    Alastor was a sentimental man on the surface. He doted on Charlie like no tomorrow; gifting her flowers and twirling her around the ballroom in such a way that everyone could see that he was enamoured. He knew he was like this on the surface; the way he’d present Rosie or Mimzy with flowers, or cart Niffty around also conveyed his ability to get along well with women.

    His mind however, was turned away from any long lasting sentimental thoughts about nearly every living creature that he had come across, whether it was topside or in Hell. He’d always felt that if anyone were to walk from his life, he’d just shrug and continue on. Nothing really hit struck him deeply; not until he’d met her.

    Alastor had been unable to attend to duties at the Hotel for the past week in a half; his mind had gone through a particularly rough rampage through Pentagram City and his Wendigo had been nearly unmanageable from the flesh of demons. It had been shameful, almost, how uncontrollable he had been. After the day or so of causing havoc in the city, he’d locked himself in his radio tower to collect his thoughts and regroup. 

    In those days, a sort of prickling pain started to edge its way onto the edge of his heart and he wasn’t sure what it was exactly. His fingers itched to do something and when he lay down in his bed to sleep for the first time in a week, it seemed like the mattress itself was miles long and almost uncomfortable - he knew he hadn’t felt that way only just a few months ago, the last time he’d slept at the radio tower.

    It wasn’t like he needed sleep; the itch of his eyelids was able to be ignored and the slight fatigue he felt wasn’t too bothersome. His fingers tapped slightly along the bedsheets and for a moment, all he felt was frustration at the inability to actually relax his body.

    After another hour of mindless tapping and thoughts, Alastor heaved out a long-suffering sigh and pushed the blankets away from him, sitting up on the bed. It ‘wasn’t terribly comfortable; he realized, not like the bed he shared when he stayed at the Hotel.

    His mouth crept downward into the most relaxed smile he knew he could muster as he thought of his bedmate. Charlie wasn’t exactly one to stay to herself while she slept; she sprawled and muttered and moved around senselessly. She slept more than he did, usually every other night, and he wondered if it was due to her Hellborn status. She usually lay on top of him, her legs tangling with his, fingers gripping his nightshirt and her lips moving in nonsensical speaking once in a while. The nights that he didn’t sleep, he’d lie awake, stroking the mess of curls on the one side of her head and flicking through the variety of songs that played through the radio in the room.

    With a flourish, Alastor stood and slid his hooves into his shoes before grasping onto the shadow magic that surrounded him and slipping through the darkness. He crept along the streets of Pentagram, unseen and deft as he made his way to the hotel that was on the other side of the city. Halfway there, he almost stopped and berated himself; running into the bed of someone wasn’t exactly the most dignified idea. 

    “You’re always welcome, here, Al, you know that,” he could almost hear her say to him, like she had done so many times in the past when he had vocalized his discomfort with just waltzing into her bedroom of all places.

    The shadows of the Hotel bent to his power as he drifted through them. Alastor noted how Husker was still awake, nursing a bottle of something, barely muttering to a still-hyper Niffty. Angel Dust was lounging on one of the couches, flipping mindlessly through a magazine while he lazily ate one of those popsies that he loved so much.. Alastor continued onward into the hotel, noting just how quiet everything seemed to be.

    As he neared Charlie’s sleeping quarters, he came to notice that her room was still brilliantly lit; there would be no shadow for him to travel into. His lips curved downward slightly at the hindrance; he’d either have to knock or just walk in.

    His ears flicked as he realized that there was actually speaking going on inside the room; his hearing picked it up rather easily and he moved closer to the door so that he would be able to hear the speakers just a little bit better.

    “- don’t know, Vags. It just seems hopeless!” A soft thud as Charlie most likely threw herself backward onto her bed.

    A gentle rustle of blankets, “I never thought you were one to give up, “Vaggie said, sounding tired.

    “Hey!” Charlie huffed indignantly, “I’m not giving up. I’m just unsure, is all!”

    “Well, if you don’t think he will, why don’t you?”

    Alastor blinked and tilted his head. Who was the ‘he’ that they were speaking about?

    There was a moment of silence from both Charlie and Vaggie. Alastor put his hand on the doorknob and was tempted to just make a grand entrance, though some part of him murmured that he should keep low and listen to them further.

    “I think that’s a good idea. Oh, he probably wouldn’t say yes,” He could hear Charlie flip over on the bed, her tone dejected, “I guess I’m weird for wanting him to propose to me. Being the Radio Demon’s wife, I guess. Is that weird?”

    Alastor felt a rush of heat flood through his face and up his ears, hand falling from the doorknob and his ears folding backward. The way she had said it; it sent ripples of pleasure through his spine and in that moment, he came to realize that it was probably the next logical step, right? 

    Marriage. He’d never put a whole lot of thought into it, either on the topside or down in Hell. No one had ever struck his fancy; had made him feel as though he would want to wed them. As he thought more on it, Charlie and Vaggie’s conversation slipping from his mind, he came to realize that Charlie was the one that he felt like that with. 

    The want to be curled next to her, the desire to listen to her babble nonsensically about the Hotel and it’s sponsors and the few demons that she had managed to redeem - he enjoyed listening to all of it. One of the few, if only, demons that he actually craved to be around. 

    With a wicked grin spread across his lips, Alastor dipped into the shadows once more and disappeared from the hotel.

    Hours later, he crept through the Hotel, fully formed. He knew how to keep quiet so that no one else would be able to hear him; it wasn’t a difficult mission. Alastor noted that the lights inside Charlie’s room were turned off, so he didn’t have too much of an issue just pushing open the door and stepping inside.

    On the bed lay Charlie, sprawled out and completely tangled in the blankets. His smile crept up and he shuffled in further, making sure to set his shoes near the door and hang his jacket up on one of the chairs in the room. He was still dressed in his sleepwear; he hadn’t had the time to change it between his attempt at sleeping at the tower and during his small errand.

    Alastor dipped down on to the mattress and with a short shake to Charlie’s shoulder, she jolted awake and blinked blearily at him.

    “Wha- Oh! Al!” A sleepy smile stretched across her face and she moved away from his side of the bed, shuffling the blankets so that he would be able to crawl in with her.

    He did, resting himself against the pillows and turning toward her. She scoot herself backward, her back against his chest, and he lazily tossed an arm over her waist. Charlie gave a soft murmur of appreciation at the affection, turning her head to look up at him.

    “I didn’t think you were coming over tonight,” She yawned, reaching up and rubbing her eyes, “I would have made space if I knew!”

    Alastor chuckled and leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her temple, “That’s quite alright, darling. I didn’t quite expect myself to come over, either.”

    Charlie hummed and turned back over, Alastor watching how her eyes slipped closed and her breathing started to slow into a more relaxed pattern. He felt his own heart pound steadily in his chest, whatever was left of it, his own mind warping and twisting.

    “Charlie,” Alastor spoke, without even realizing he had started.

    “Mmm?” She hummed softly, not moving from her position, though she cracked open a single eye.

    “I need to talk to you,” His arm tightened around her waist and she rolled slightly so that she could make eye contact with him.

    She yawned again, turning fully so that she could see him better, “Now?”

    He nodded and propped himself up on an elbow, head tilted slightly, “Charlie, I have not loved very many things and even fewer people in both of my lives. It’s strange to me,” He reached out and cupped her cheek in his hand, grin soft, “That with every passing moment, my love for you grows stronger.”

    Charlie’s cheeks darkened further and she smiled prettily at him, “Al.”

    He leaned forward and her smile widened as he pressed a kiss to her lips. He didn’t give them often; Charlie rest her hand on his shoulder and kissed Alastor back just as sweetly as he was to her. When he pulled away, he didn’t move too far and kept his eyes on hers

    “Will you allow me to love you forever? Day after day, month after month, year after year?” He reached down to the pocket of his pajama pants and pulled out the smooth ring that he had kept safely there, holding it out to her with his index and thumb, “Charlotte Magne, may I be yours forever?”

    Charlie’s eyes widened and filled with tears, her throat closing up slightly at the complete vulnerable look on Alastor’s face. She nodded frantically, holding out her hand. Alastor took it and slid the ring onto her finger; a simple silver band with a single diamond engrained in it. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him to her, laughing.

    “Yes, Al, of course!” She peppered kisses along his cheek and Alastor felt the magic of dealmaking snap around them, a gentle green glow emitting from them.

    He chuckled and pulled her closer to him, watching as the single diamond glittered in the low light. Alastor felt as though he were overcome by so many emotions and yet none at all; none of the emotions he had ever felt, in both lives, could compare to the feeling he was washed with while he looked over Charlie, wearing his ring and a grin on her lips. He leaned forward, nose brushing against hers.

“So, it’s a deal then.”

[shupadoop]

Quarantine (or Confessions under Duress)

@inukag-week Implied smut ahead. Length: roughly 5.5 pages “No, Inuayasha, we can’t go back!”

“Because of some stupid cold? It’s nothing! You see I’m fine!”

“But Sango, and Miroku, and Shippo might not be if we go back. Look, I know it’s hard to take a threat seriously if you can’t sense it, especially since people didn’t know very much about disease in your time, but please believe me it isn’t safe.”

“You said yourself lots of people are recovering. Our friends are strong, they’ll be fine. Let’s go back to hunting Naraku!”

“Sit!”

“Look, our whole view of health is different now. In your time people couldn’t travel very far and they got used to things that were near them. Their bodies and their knowledge developed with what was nearby. Kaede knows how to heal battle wounds, and what herbs are good for which poisons, but in my time people travel across the entire world every day. I have fruit in my kitchen that Kaede will never see in her lifetime. Everywhere around us are tiny things that we eat and breathe. The tiny things in my world are completely different from the ones in yours. You probably haven’t noticed because as a demon you’re strong enough that small changes in your environment won’t affect you, but I bet if you came here on a human night you’d feel different than you do in your time. Lots of people are getting really sick from this disease. Healthy people who are used to living here and now. Whose bodies are used to this environment. If we take this disease back we’d be letting it loose on villagers who have no immunity to anything like it. It could devastate your whole era, Inuyasha!” the thought of causing such a tragedy nearly brought her to tears.

“Okay, okay, don’t cry. We’ll stay here. How long until we can go back?”

“I don’t know. It could be months.”

“MONTHS!?”

———————————————————————

The tension growing between them was exhausting. She understood Inuyasha’s restlessness, but it was getting on her nerves. It wasn’t like she loved being stuck inside all the time, but she was making an effort to use the circumstances as best she could. It was particularly lonely since it was just the two of them. The rest of her family went visiting out of town before she came home and were now trapped in their own right. She longer to see her grandfather, to talk to her mother, to tease Souta. The tense silence between her and Inuyasha was more than she could handle right then.

“Hey, why don’t we watch a movie?”

“A movie? What’s a movie?”

“It’s like a play, but someone recorded it so we could watch it later.

”Inuyasha didn’t reply. She could watch a movie at least, and distract herself for a while. She pressed the first tape she could find into the machine and settled on the couch; determinedly staring at the TV and ignoring Inuyasha’s continuing sulk.

“I was just your typical teenage girl - until my 18th birthday that is, when I discovered I was a witch.”

“A witch!?” In one swift move Inuyasha had drawn his sword and stepped into the glare of the screen.

“Inuyasha, stop! It’s not real; it’s just a story.”

“Bah.”

“Come on, put that away.”

But he was transfixed by the quick-paced colours on the screen. How could somebody draw so realistically? How could they fit so many pictures in that little box?

Kagome put a hand on his shoulder. “Back up, I can’t see.”

Still transfixed Inuyasha sheathed his sword and sat on the couch.The tension Kagome had hoped to ease with the digital distraction greatly intensified when the main character had a steamy birthday makeout session with her crush. When Kagome grabbed a random movie, it hadn’t occurred to her how much worse a ‘90s romcom would make her situation. Naturally, being a teenager, and it being the ‘90s, that was pretty much all she had on hand.

She gazed intently at a bird out the window, carefully avoiding looking at her equally embarrassed companion. But she couldn’t keep her thoughts still.

Look at this girl, living her best life. I’ve never been kissed at all, definitely not like that. If only I was being held like that. If only Inuyasha would hold me like that…

Inuyasha, red as a beet, found himself unable to look away from the graphic scene. His normal defence mechanism in these situations was normally for his mind to blank, but he, like Kagome, felt he was missing something the characters had.The scene ended, and the pair on the couch eventually decided it was safe to look at each other again. As the movie went on they were able to relax and the discomfort from earlier was forgotten. That is until the next bit of romance came on the screen. And this time the characters were undressing.

“What the Hell?! Who would watch something like this!? Is everybody in your time a pervert?!”

Inuyasha thought if this was how people told stories in Kagome’s time, no wonder she liked the feudal era so much.Kagome jumped up, and fumbled for the remotes on the coffee table as she tried to answer.

I haven’t even been kissed. Who knows if I’ll ever do that. At this rate I’ll die alone.

“Well, some people like to imagine themselves in her shoes, I guess. Especially if they don’t have a boyfriend themselves.”

Kyah, when did we get so many remotes!? Where is the fast-forward button? When did the label rub off? Will this scene ever end!?

It was Inuyasha’s turn to avert his gaze. He kept his face turned fully to the blank wall beside him. Beneath his disgusted exterior, in the deepest corner of his mind, he wondered when he would get to do that with someone - with Kagome.

Something smells different.

Inuyasha glanced at Kagome, who had given up on skipping the abrasive scene and had her eyes closed in a long sigh.

She smells different. It’s raw and intense. What is it?

Dawning slowly seeped into him. This movie had aroused something in her. This deepened Inuyasha’s blush.

Kagome resignedly sat back down on the couch, on the middle cushion this time, instead of the far one.“Hey, what are you doing? Why are you getting so close now?”

“What? I wasn’t!”

Kagome jumped a cushion over and Inuyasha immediately regretted saying anything, but his fear of intimacy made him panic when she was so near. Particularly right after that.After the interrogation Kagome’s musky smell started to dissipate and the rest of the movie passed uneventfully, both of the viewers too distracted to really notice what was happening on screen.

“Okay, well, guess it’s bedtime. Good night Inuyasha.”

“Uh - good night.”

When her family was around Kagome preferred Inuyasha to sleep in her room, sitting on the floor by her bed, poised to defend her if something nefarious found its way into her room. But alone, she felt it too scandalous. She changed and crawled into bed, but struggled to sleep.

Well, that definitely made things worse. How can I look him in the eye now? I barely could before that disaster.

Little did she know on the other side of the hall Inuyasha was kept awake by slightly different thoughts.

That moo-vie. She was excited during that moo-vie. All I can think about is her intoxicating smell. If we watched it again would she react the same way?

——————————————————————

The following day Kagome was able to avoid Inuyasha by burying herself in cooking. She wasn’t sure what he was doing upstairs, but she was grateful for the respite. Eventually Inuyasha came down when she called him for lunch.

“Hey, so I thought we could watch another movie. But don’t worry, I found one that’s all about samurai fighting. No romance at all.”

He determinedly stared at the bowl of ramen Kagome had placed in front of him as he answered “that’s okay. We could watch a moo-vie like yesterday’s. We see plenty of real-life fighting anyway.”

“Oh. Uh… okay.”

After lunch Kagome put on another romcom.

I wonder what’s with Inuyasha. I know he has a soft side, but I’ve never seen him ask for an emotional moment before.

Occasionally Inuyasha would glance at Kagome, particularly during romantic scenes, but he never noticed more than small blush. How disappointing.

If we keep watching movies surely another one will excite her. Maybe iI’ll be luckier next time.

Nope.

The time after.

Nuh-uh.

Come on, this time?

No.

“Inuyasha, we’ve run out of movies.”

Maybe it wasn’t the TYPE of movie Kagome liked, but that specific movie.

“That’s okay, Kagome, we can watch the first one again.”

“Oh, uh, sure.”

When the got to the sex scene that had flustered them so badly before, Inuyasha stared intently at Kagome, holding in too much anticipation to even try to hide it this time.

“Well, Kagome?”

“Well, what?”

Inuyasha faltered “never mind” and went back to staring at the screen, thoroughly annoyed.

“I’m pretty surprised you wanted to watch this, twice even. I didn’t think you’d like it.”

“Of course I don’t, I’ve been sitting here watching these boring movies and you aren’t excited by anything!”

“Ex…cited?”

Shit. Why did I say that?

“Inuyasha? Why did you want to watch these with me?”

“The first time we watched this part… you…. uh…. you smelled different. Good different.”

“Excited different?” she joked. But when he cautiously nodded understanding hit her and she hid her face in her hands so Inuyasha wouldn’t see the sheer terror spreading across it.

He can smell that!? He knows when I’m… excited!? He must have known I was thinking about him! Or what if he didn’t and he’s jealous of imaginary guy? … Wait, he’s been watching movies with me just so…

Resolutely she straightened herself and looked Inuyasha in the eye. They looked at each other in silence and then -

“Kagome…” that smell.

She moved closer.

“Inuyasha, why have we been watching all these movies?”

“So I could smell you like this again.”

“Like what?”

“…Aroused.” he said in a tiny voice. But he gained some confidence when Kagome inched closer. “I want to be the one you’re aroused for. I love you, Kagome.”

“I love you too, Inuyasha.”

That night they stopped sleeping in separate bedrooms.

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch55: The Fallen Warrior

Intro: The team are shaken by the loss of one of their own, and Katie takes her hurt and anger out on Steve. 

Warnings: Language, Smut (NSFW, 18+)

A/N: So this was the chapter that caused the issue last time...let’s see what happens now...

Katie felt numb. Wordlessly, Steve guided her back to their quarters where she trudged through the living room and into the bedroom, every so often raising her hand to wipe away her tears. She sat on the edge of the bed, kicking off the court shoes she had stolen from the base before her hands flattened against the mattress and her head dropped slightly, and she began to cry.

Steve sat next to her and she turned into him, pressing her face into his chest. His arms gently encircled her, as he lay his cheek against the top of her head, gently rubbing her back.

“She’s gone.” Katie whispered softly “I…I can’t…” “I know.” Steve replied gently, sniffing as his own tears fell.

“How are we gonna tell the kids?” 

“Together. We’ll figure it out.” “Like we always do huh?” Katie muttered as she pulled away from him, a hint of what felt like sarcasm in her voice. Steve frowned.

“Honey?”

 “I need a shower. Do you mind if I take it first?”

“No,” he said gently, “of course not.” “Thanks” her tone was monotonous as she stood up and made her wait into the en-suite.

Steve sighed and ran his hand over his face before he untied the combat boots he’d ‘borrowed’ and shucked them off. Their mission had been successful, they should be elated. Instead they were grieving, subdued, because Natasha hadn’t made it home. Other than Katie, she’d been the one person at SHIELD who had been ever present in his life post coming out of the ice. His partner in STRIKE. And now she was gone.

He was trying to stay strong, trying to be the leader the group needed, but he was fucking upset and tired. His body ached all over from his tangle with his 2012 self, and if he was honest all he wanted to do was sleep for a week. 

His sharp ears picked up Katie’s quiet sobs in the bathroom. Just like that day when they came back from Wakanda over five years, he peeled off his outer clothing and gently pushed the door to the bathroom and what he saw broke his heart. Katie was sat in the shower cubicle, hugging her knees as the water cascaded down on her. Without a word he opened the glass door, still in his boxers and with a silent groan he sat next to her, and wrapped his arm round her, his large hand on the side of her head as she turned into the contact and lay her cheek against his shoulder. 

As with all missions, there was a routine that followed and this one was no exception. If anything, the routine made Katie feel better, gave her something to focus on rather than the mission itself. Her head was still reeling from watching Steve’s reaction to Peggy, seeing her dad again after almost thirty-two years and the fact that Nat wasn’t coming home. She didn’t really speak as she dressed, but retreated to dig out the arnica gel as Steve’s torso and back really had taken a beating. She could tell he was in quite a bit of discomfort, and she didn’t like seeing that regardless of how angry she was feeling towards him. 

An anger she knew deep down was completely irrational, but she couldn’t help feeling it nonetheless. 

“Thanks.” Steve smiled softly as her gentle fingers finished their dance across his shoulders. He rolled his head back, expecting her to be there but she’d already moved to wash her hands. He sighed and then stood up, grabbing a top out of the case they still hadn’t unpacked. He pulled it on with a grimace and then there was a knock at the main door before they heard Tony’s voice as he walked into their apartment.

“You guys decent?” the voice grew closer as he headed to their bedroom.

“Yeah.” Katie called back, shrugging on a purple vest top, before grabbing a white hooded cardigan. 

Tony gently popped his head round the door to their bedroom. His eyes were red, he’d clearly been crying himself. He took one look at his sister before he sighed and strode towards her. Steve watched as she melted into his arms. 

“I thought that all of us, well the original Avengers that is could meet down by the lake on the jetty.” he said, looking at Steve over Katie’s shoulder. “Just, I dunno, maybe find out what happened.” “She died.” Katie pulled away “That’s what happened.” “Kiddo…” Tony began and Steve simply looked at him and shook his head slightly from side to side. Tony took a deep breath and watched as Katie walked over to the windows and looked out.

“Going over what happened won’t bring her back.” 

“No but it might help.” Steve said.

“Help how?” She turned to face him, her eyes blazing “When has going over what’s already happened, what’s in the past, ever helped?”

Okay, so Steve knew that little dig wasn’t about Natasha. Was Peggy bothering her that much? He thought they’d had that discussion back at the army camp and as far as he understood she had been fine when they had left the office. But then there had been that little snap back at him, the comment about a trip down memory lane when he’d tried to stop her running to her dad.

He could see she was upset, she was likely just angry and taking it out on him. And Steve understood he had to be the metaphorical punch bag. 

“Clint.” Tony said quickly, sensing something wasn’t quite right between the two of them. He knew the look on his sister’s face well enough to know she was going to blow if he didn’t diffuse the situation, and right now Steve looked broken. This was the last thing the group needed. “It might help Clint to tell someone what happened, you know?” he placated.

That made sense. Katie cocked her head to one side as she looked at Tony before she shrugged and walked passed the two men to grab a hair tie from the dresser. Quickly pulling her damp hair into a braid she looked over her shoulder at the pair of them and nodded. “See you out there.” “What’s going on, Cap?” Tony asked as soon as she was out of ear shot.

“To be honest Tony, I’m not one hundred percent sure.” He sighed, heading out towards the living area, Tony following “We saw Peggy at the base, then your dad. I think it was a little overwhelming maybe and now Nat.”

“You saw Peggy?” Tony frowned 

“Yeah we had to duck into her office after that woman from the elevator was looking for us with security.” 

“So you hid in her office?” Tony arched an eyebrow.

“I know what you’re thinking but I didn’t do it on purpose.” Steve shook his head as he sat on the sofa, reaching for his leather boots which he had kicked off the day before. “It was just the closest room and…”

“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world.” Tony looked at Steve as he tied the laces of his right shoe.

“Did you seriously just quote Casablanca at me?” Steve paused and looked up at his brother in law who shrugged. Steve shook his head, a small chuckle escaping his chest as he resumed the task of tying his laces. He exhaled loudly again and rest his hands on his knees. “I wish I understood what she was pissed at…I mean, yeah we saw Peggy but we didn’t speak to her.” “Did you do anything, or say anything?” Tony asked.

“Nothing, only that she looked good, you know, that it was nice to see her not ill.” Steve pondered “The stupid thing is Tony, there was nothing there when I looked at Peggy, nothing at all other than this overwhelming sense of serenity that she looked so, well, normal and how I remembered her, not some frail old lady in a bed.”

Tony looked at Steve for a moment before he shrugged “She’s grieving, she’ll come round. Just don’t take anything she says to heart.”

“Easier said than done.” Steve mumbled as he stood up. With a deep breath he grabbed his jacket and made for the door, Tony clapping him between the shoulder blades as they walked.

******

“The stone is down there?” Natasha asked, looking off the edge of the cliff.

“For one of you” The Stonekeeper spoke “For the other… In order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love. An everlasting exchange. A soul, for a soul.”

“Don’t suppose you’d take Amex instead?” Clint quipped as Natasha let out a sigh and moved to the side to sit on a rock. The two of them fell into silence, Natasha’s elbow resting on her knee. They must have been there for what, ten minutes or so, the Stonekeeper never leaving them.

“How’s it going?” Clint waved at him before turning back to Nat “Jesus. Maybe he’s making this shit up” 

“No. I don’t think so.” Natasha said gently, shaking her head. 

“Why, ‘cause he knows your Daddy’s name?” Clint scoffed.

“I didn’t.” Nat said simply, causing Clint to look at her. “Thanos left here with the stone without his daughter. It’s not a coincidence.” Clint was forced to concede she was right “Yeah” 

“Whatever it takes.” Natasha said, with a hint of a sad smile, her eyes shining.

“Whatever it takes.” Clint nodded as Natasha stood up suddenly.

“If we don’t get that stone, billions of people stay dead.” she looked at him. 

“Then I guess we both know who it’s gotta be.” Clint swallowed, taking a deep breath. He was ready to do this, a way to make up for what he had done over the past 5 years.

“I guess we do.” Natasha looked at him, smiling and Clint took a deep breath as he reached out to take her hand.

“I’m starting to think– we mean different people here, Natasha” 

“For the last five years I’ve been trying to do one thing: Get to right here.” her voice dropped slightly as the tears shone in her eyes “That’s all it’s been about. Bringing everybody back” 

“Oh, don’t you get all decent on me now.” he said, his own tears springing forth. 

“What, you think I wanna do it?” she looked at him, “I’m trying to save your life, you idiot.” 

“Yeah, well, I don’t want you to, because I– Natasha, you know what I’ve done.” he pleaded with her, how could he look his wife and kids in the face after the atrocities he had committed? “You know what I’ve become” 

“I don’t judge people on their worst mistakes.” she shook her head. 

“Maybe you should.” 

“You didn’t.” 

Clint let out a smile, his tears now falling softly “You’re a pain in my ass, you know that?”

He leant down slightly, pressing his forehead against hers and he took a deep breath.

“Okay. You win” he gave a sad smile, stepping back. And when he knew she’d taken her eye off the ball, truly believing he was letting her do this, with a quick swipe of the legs he knocked her over.

“Tell my family I love them.” he turned to go but she grabbed his arm, tackling him to the ground.

“You tell them yourself.” she smirked, shooting one of her stingers at him, leaving him writhing on the floor. He managed to shrug it off and grabbed his bow and arrow, shooting an explosive dart at her which knocked her to the side. He began to sprint, casting her a look and a smile as he jumped…

He was falling, and he closed his eyes. This was it. 

Except it wasn’t. A pair of arms hooked round his waist and then his fall was stopped as Natasha’s line attached to him with a grappling hook, leaving him clutching her arm.

“Damn you!” he said, frustratedly. He tried to reach her with his other hand, but the line started to give. And if both of them fell, then neither took the stone home.

“Let me go.” Natasha pleaded with him, her eyes soft. 

“No. Please.” he stuttered, his eyes boring into hers. 

“It’s okay.” she assured him with a smile. There wasn’t an inch of fear on her face. In fact, quite the opposite, it was like she was wanting to do this.

“Please– no!” Clint tried again, but as he spoke Natasha kicked the wall and wrenched her arm out of his grip. Clint screamed after her, turning his head away unable to watch as she fell to her death. When he eventually did look back he saw her sprawled at the bottom, legs and arms bent in an unnatural way, crimson blood framing her head like a macabre halo…

Clint trailed off recalling what had happened as his voice cracked and he looked out over the lake, falling silent, arms crossed. Katie sniffed from where she was sat besides Steve on one of the benches.

“Do we know if she had family?” Tony asked, looking around. 

“Yeah.” Steve said fiercely as he looked up through his tears. “Us.” 

“What?” Thor demanded, walking over to Tony. 

“I just asked him a question–“ “Yeah, you’re acting like she’s dead.” Thor snapped “Why are we acting like she’s dead? We have the stones, right? As long as we have the stones, Cap, we can bring her back, isn’t that right?” Steve looked down a his feet and Thor growled slightly “So stop this shit. We’re the Avengers, get it together.”

“We can’t get her back.” Clint shook his head, his voice quiet.

“Wha– what?” Thor looked at him.

“It can’t be undone. It can’t.” 

Thor gave a dry laugh causing Katie to look up for the first time since she had sat down 

“I’m sorry. No offense, but you’re a very earthly being, Okay?” Thor looked at Clint “We’re talking about space magic. And “can’t” seems very definitive don’t you think?”

“Yeah, look, I know that I’m way outside my paygrade here.” Clint looked at him “But she still isn’t here, is she?”

“No, that’s my point..” “It can't– be undone. Or that’s at least what the red floating guy had to say.” Clint said, his voice gathering pace and volume until he was shouting “Maybe you wanna go talk to him, okay? Go grab your hammer, and you go fly and you talk to him!”

At that point Katie stood up and made her way to the archer as his head bowed in grief. She gently rubbed his arm as he turned to face her, tears trickling down his face. 

“It was supposed to be me!” he looked at Katie, then to Steve and Tony. “She sacrificed her life for that goddamn stone. She bet her life on it.” At that point, in a burst of anger, Bruce ripped a bench from the edge of the jetty and hurled it straight across the lake. Steve watched as he turned back to the group, anger spent and a resigned look on his face.

“She’s not coming back. We have to make it worth it. We have to.”

Steve stood up, Bruce was right. They had to make her sacrifice count. “We will.” he assured the man. 

Bruce sniffed and then looked at Tony “I’m gonna go back to the lab, take another look at the gauntlet.” “I’ll come with you.” Thor said. The two men wandered off up the walkway and Katie watched them for a moment before she turned back to look at Clint.

“I think I’ll stay here for a bit” he said, smiling.

She nodded and gave his shoulder a squeeze as Tony and Steve both walked towards him. 

“You gonna be ok?” Steve asked the man, and he nodded.

“I just wanna be on my own for a bit, Cap.”

He patted the man on the back before the three of them headed up the walkway to the lawn area at the back of the building. Katie stopped and looked at Steve.

“I’m wanna take a drive up to the house, see the kids.” she said softly. He nodded and Tony looked at them both.

“We’ll all go.”  he nodded.  ***** They told Emmy and Pepper first, hidden on the porch outside, away from the younger kids. Pepper had instantly welled up, gently wiping away her tears whereas Emmy’s face had crumpled and she’d turned to her father, pressing her face into his top as she cried. He felt utterly helpless, unable to do anything but comfort her. Eventually she pulled away and accepted the tissue Tony offered her.

“It was her choice Emmy.” Katie’s voice was broken. “I know that doesn’t make it any easier to take or understand but…” “She,” Emmy took a deep breath, “she was a hero until the end huh?” “She was.” Steve agreed, smoothing back her hair.

“I err,” Emmy stood up. “I think I’ll take Lucky for a walk round the lake.” “Good Idea.” Tony agreed “How about me, you, Pep and Morgan head down to feed Gerald. Leave your mom and dad to speak to Jamie.” She nodded. Tony opened the door and called the younger kids out to them. Jamie frowned when he realised he wasn’t going on the walk, and positively scowled when his parents told him it was because they needed to speak to him.

“But I don’t wanna.” he protested as they took him back inside.

“Please sweetie, it’s important.” Katie sighed, sitting on the sofa. He looked at her with piercing blue eyes so like his fathers and gave a huff, sitting down besides her, folding his arms.

“Am I in trouble?” he asked, looking up.

“No, pal, not at all.” Steve assured him, sitting at the other side of him. “We just have some news to tell you.” He glanced at Katie and she gave him a helpless look. How do you make a three year old understand this? Understand any of it. Jamie sat patiently waiting whilst Steve took a breath and turned to face his son in his seat, his knee pulling up onto the cushion slightly as he did so.

“You know how me and your mom have been working on a big job with your Uncle Nee and Auntie Nat-Nat?”

Jamie nodded.

“Well, there was an accident.” Steve paused, trying to compose himself as best he could “And Auntie Nat-Nat…well she…she’s gone to heaven buddy.” “Heaven?” Jamie frowned “Like, in the sky? With the angels? And my nannies and grandpas?” Katie nodded “Yeah baby.” “So I can’t see her again?” he asked, his voice quiet and Katie felt a lump in her throat as she struggled to speak.

“I’m sorry buddy.” Steve gently, reached out to stroke his son’s face. “I know you can’t see her but you’ll always have her in your memories when you think about all the fun things you did.” Jamie nodded. And looked around. “Okay.” he said, taking the information in. They’d tried to be honest, explain as best they could with the simple facts but in a way he would understand the harsh reality that his Auntie was gone, and not coming back.

“You alright?” Steve asked as the boy stood up.

“I’m sad that I won’t see her again.” Jamie shrugged, looking down before he stood up and looked his father straight in the eyes “But Emmy says her mommy that was in the hospital is in heaven and the sun shines there so Auntie Nat-Nat will be ok.”

Katie looked at Steve, and he gave her a soft smile. Emmy had obviously been speaking to the boy about her birth parents. 

“And I will see her when I go.” Jamie shrugged “But that won’t be for a very long time.” “No.” Steve said, reaching out to pull his son into a hug “No, it wont’.” Jamie wrapped his arms around his dad’s neck as he gave him a hug back, before he turned to his mom and did the same. Katie pulled him close to her, dropping a kiss to his head as her tears once more began to fall. 

And they were falling again when they headed back to the compound later that afternoon. Katie didn’t want to leave the kids behind, but there was work to do, and she knew they couldn’t be there when the stones were. It wasn’t safe. She remained silent for the drive home, both Tony and Steve glancing back at her on occasion, the men sharing significant looks as Steve drove the car back to the compound. He hadn’t even put the handbrake on when she was climbing out and striding towards the doors.

“Good luck..” Tony nodded towards her retreating back.

“Thanks.” Steve mumbled. He paused for a second, taking a deep breath of air before he headed after her. She wasn’t in their quarters, so a quick question to FRIDAY later he headed to the communal lounge, are where she was stood behind the bar, pouring herself a large vodka.

“Want one?” she asked. He shook his head. “No? There’s some of that Asgardian shit here somewhere.” “Katie, I don’t want a drink. “Well I do so,” she knocked the vodka back and hissed slightly, “shit she’s right, that stuff is like paint stripper.”

She poured another one and Steve watched her knock it back before he walked round the back of the bar and gently took the bottle from her.

“Sweetheart, this isn’t going to help.” “Why are you getting off on telling me what to do all of a sudden?” she looked at him,  “You did it before, at the base too!” “That’s not what I was doing.” he said, calmly as she shook his head. “I was trying to stop you being seen.” “Didn’t care about that when you dragged us into Peggy’s office.” Steve took a deep breath, sensing the impending argument and desperately seeking for the words to cut it off before it could start “Yes, it was actually. I dragged us in there to stop security finding us. And I didn’t know it was her office until you did.” “Course you didn’t.” 

“I didn’t” he said his tone flat. He was completely and utterly worn out. And he didn’t have the energy to argue. He was done. Instead he turned to leave. 

“Sure you were horrified when you got to see her.”

He took a deep breath and turned round, she was poking for an argument now and he wasn’t going to give her one. “I was glad. Glad to see her looking so healthy instead of some frail old woman dying in a bed. And I make no apologies for being happy about that.”

Katie snorted and poured another drink into her glass.

“But if you’re asking me if I suddenly felt an overwhelming desire to run to her and declare my undying love then the answer is no.” Steve held her gaze. “I love you.”

“You sure?” she asked necking her third vodka. It burnt as it slid down her throat. It wasn’t having any effect on her yet, but she had a dangerous desire to jab at her husband’s wound again. For no reason other than she was angry. Angry at everything and everyone… 

Steve wasn’t rising to the bait. He was angry too, angry at her for behaving the way she was, angry that Natasha was gone, angry at this whole fucking situation, but he wasn’t giving her what she wanted. Not this time. 

No, he would deal with his anger alone later, in the way he always did

“We have been together for over ten years. We have kids, a home, a life which we share through both ups and downs, and I don’t want or need anything or anyone else, no matter what you choose to believe.” “Well if you change your mind, I snagged some extra particles from Pym. You can always go back, find out what you missed.”

He grit his teeth together, the nerve in his jaw twitching but still when he spoke, his voice was level.

“I know you’re upset. You’re grieving. We all are.” Steve looked at her “And if you wanna take it out on me then fine, but I’m not gonna stand here and start screaming and shouting at you. I don’t have the energy. I’m hurting too. So is Clint, Bruce, Tony, Thor, you’re not the only one who loved Nat.”

Katie looked down at the empty glass, before she turned for the bottle of vodka and refilled it.

“That’s it, you’re just gonna leave me here to get shitfaced? Alone?”

“Yeah, because I’m tired.” he turned and looked back at her “Tired of going over this again and again. No matter what I do, it’s never enough is it?”

She glanced away.

“I love you, I love our life, I love our kids.” he continued, his eyes locking onto hers when she looked back at him “I don’t know what else I can do or say to prove that to you.” He took a deep breath. “If you still don’t believe me, after ten years of me telling you that there’s never been anyone I’ve loved as much in my life, that Peggy doesn’t even come close to you, what hope do we have?”

His last sentence hit her like a tonne of bricks and she swallowed as she looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears. 

“Tell FRIDAY when you need me to carry you back to the apartment.” he nodded to the bottle in her hand, and with that he turned and left the room. Katie stood still, her tears began to fall and with an almighty scream she launched the glass of vodka against the wall before she turned and left the room.

She walked for what felt like hours. Through the woods, down by the lake, and eventually came to the little clearing, the place that her and Natasha had often come to hide from everyone when they wanted a break to either sit in the sun or just chill after a particularly hard mission. She was surprised to find Clint already there, leaning against a tree stump.

“Didn’t know you knew about this place?” Katie looked at him.

“Nat brought me out here the other day.” 

“Figures” Katie dropped down besides him “She brought me here too, quite a bit actually.”

“Where’s Cap?” Clint asked. Katie shrugged, tugging at the grass on the floor, before throwing the strands she pulled from the ground into the air in front of her. “You two had a fight?” 

“Kinda.” she sighed. “I said some pretty shitty things.” “Sure it’ll work out.” Clint said. 

“Maybe.”

Clint turned to her “It can’t have been that bad, surely?” And then before she knew it, she’d told him everything. About the mission, about Peggy, about being angry for no real reason other than she felt a pang of jealousy over him smiling when he saw another woman back in the seventies, a woman who he had last seen frail and ill in a hospital bed. And then she was angry, angry at everything, at why Natasha had taken those fucking words, his words, ‘whatever it takes’ literally, and had given her life to bring people back.

“We don’t’ trade lives.” she sniffed, finishing rather pathetically as she wiped her eyes.

Clint sat in silence, sliding an arm round her shoulders. “She chose to do it Nova.” he sighed “I tried to stop her but…” “Her choosing doesn’t make it easier, Clint.” “No,” he agreed. “Not for those of us left behind. But she was at peace with her decision, as stupid as it sounds I could see it in her face. This isn’t Steve’s fault no matter what you think.” “I don’t think that.“ Katie sighed “Not really.” “Good because that is almost as stupid as the other shit you’re thinking.” Clint looked at her “Steve loves you.”

“I know he does.” “Just listen to me.” the Archer looked at her sternly “It’s always been obvious how much he loves you, and over the past few months I’ve also seen how much he loves your kids.”

Katie looked down at her hands as Clint continued.

“The thing is, you love your kids because you have no choice. And by that I mean you just can’t help it. They’re part of you, but each other, well you choose that. You choose to be with other.” he paused as she looked up at him. His eyes flashed as he shook his head “You need to get your head out your ass and look around you. I lost my family five years ago. You gained yours, and you’re trying to do what exactly? Goad Steve into a row about an ex-girlfriend or whatever from almost eighty years ago?” Clint shook his head “That man would give you the moon on a stick if he could, Nova. Stop being a dick.”

Katie knew he was right. She was being ridiculous, she’d known that the minute Steve had left her in the common room. 

“What hope do we have?”

“I’m such a bitch.” she sniffed. “Nat would be so pissed at me right now.” the tears fell down her cheeks and the arm round her shoulders gave her a squeeze

“Yep.” he breathed out, and she gave a soft watery laugh, as she lay her head on her friend’s shoulder, the two of them sitting in silence. *****

When neither Steve nor his Sister answered FRIDAY’s calls, Tony figured that something had happened so he’d gone in search of Steve first, knowing he’d be the most rational out of the two. FRIDAY told him he was down in the gym, and as he rounded the corner towards the training room he could hear the sound of fists pummelling the punching bags. The door swung open and sure enough, the soldier was there, his arms moving at an astonishing rate, grey t-shirt stuck to his back with sweat as he hit the sand bag again and again and again.

“Cap?” he asked, and Steve landed one final punch before he grimaced slightly, and turned round, shaking out his hand. “Take it it didn’t go well then.” “You could say that.” he sighed, breathing heavily “I left her in the common room with a bottle of vodka.” Tony frowned “Was that wise?” “Probably not.” Steve shrugged, feeling a pang of guilt before he took a deep breath, blooded hands falling to his hips “But I don’t know what else to do Tony. She was just trying to goad me into an argument.” He slumped down onto one of the benches, running his hands through his sweaty hair.

“They say there are five stages to grief.” Tony mused, sitting down next to him. “Denial, anger, bargaining…” “…depression and acceptance, yeah.” Steve nodded.

“Well, you apparently go through them in order.” Tony looked at him “But from personal experience, that’s a load of shit. When mom and dad died I just went off the rails. Oh, I accepted they were gone but, well the anger and depression continued for a very long time.”

Steve took a deep breath and looked at him.

“And I reckon it would have continued even longer had it not been for the fact that it became a very real threat that Kiddo would have been taken off me.” “I know she’s grieving Tony, I really do but this whole thing about Peggy is ridiculous. You know what she said? She told me she’d stolen extra Pym particles and told me I could go back, see what I missed.” Steve snorted, shaking his head “I mean does she actually seriously think that I’d even consider that?” “No.” Tony cut him off “She doesn’t, not really. Look, today has been a head fuck for us all. She’s lashing out and wants a reaction. You’ve done the best thing by not giving her one and instead you’ve taken it out on a non-sentient item…”

Tony nodded to the punching bag which was dripping sand to the floor. Steve sighed and looked down at his split knuckles, flexing his fingers and wincing slightly. 

“Suppose I best go see if she’s drunk herself into oblivion yet.” Steve stood up “FRIDAY, where’s Katie?” “Mrs Rogers is back in the Living Quarters, Captain. Would you like me to call her?” “No, it’s okay, thanks.” he said, as Tony stood up. His brother-in-law gave him a gentle nod, before he left the training room.

Tony watched him go before he looked around at the three destroyed bags, sand scattered all over the floor.

“FRIDAY, get someone to clean this up.” he sighed.

“Sure boss.” she said, and with that he left. **** When Steve walked back in the apartment Katie stood up off the sofa and looked at him for a moment, an awkward silence hanging between them. 

“Where’ve you been?” he asked, his voice soft.

“With Clint. Talking about stuff…”

He nodded, fully understanding that ‘stuff’ would include him as well as Natasha. “I’m going for a shower.” “Okay.” she said gently, almost nervously even. Steve gave her another passive look before he headed into the en-suite, turning the water on as hot as he could stand. He ached even more now than he had before, and he was beyond tired. He didn’t want to fight, not anymore. On the plus side, Katie wasn’t drunk, so that was something. He just hoped that whatever Clint had said to her had helped. He cleaned himself quickly before shutting off the water, drying himself down and emerging a few minutes later, dressed in a clean pair of sweats and a t-shirt. He found Katie in the kitchen, pulling a dish out of the oven.

“I assumed you’d want food. I made mac and cheese. Call it a peace offering?”

“You didn’t have to do that.” he said gently 

“I know.” her voice was low, and he saw her lip quiver again. “Stevie, I’m so sorry, I…”

With a sigh he reached out to her and pulled her to him and she went willingly, melting into his arms. 

“I love you, and I shouldn’t have taken stuff out on you, I’m sorry, I really am…” she rambled into his chest as he held her close.

“I know.” he said gently “But honey, I’m tired of trying to make you understand. I love you. I don’t want or need anyone else.” “I know, I was just.” she trailed off. “Well, I just saw that photo on her desk and…”

“It was just a photo.” “Yeah but that’s it, it’s not just a photo.” she protested between her sobs. “That’s my photo Steve. I have that exact photo in my office too, because it’s you and…” she took a deep breath, “I never knew you before the serum but I wish I did because it’s who you are. Not Captain America but Steve Rogers. My Steve.”

“Oh, baby.” he sighed, pulling away and taking her face in his hands “I’ll always be yours.”

She gave a watery smile and slid her hands over his as his thumbs gently wiped away her tears, and then she frowned as she felt his knuckles. She gently pulled his hands down to look at them before she glanced up at him, fresh tears in his eyes.

“You haven’t done this in…” “Five years.” he said gently, “I know.” “Stevie.” her face crumpled again at the thought of what she had pushed him to and he shook his head, his hands falling to her hips.

“Look at me.” he said, and she raised her gaze to his. “I heal fast, you know this.” She spluttered a laugh and he smiled “But I really am fucking hungry, so how about we eat and then curl up in bed and tomorrow we face head on together?”

She nodded. He dropped a kiss to the top of her head and she turned away to dish up their food. 

They ate in silence, but it was comfortable and when they’d finished they both cleared away the dishes before heading into the bedroom. Katie retreated somewhere for a moment, coming back with the first aid kit which she used to gently clean his split knuckles. There was no need, they weren’t as bad as they could be, but she wanted to care for him, and Steve wasn’t about to deny her the opportunity. Then came the arnica, which he really did want as his upper body was absolutely wrecked. 

She gently grasped at the bottom of his T-shirt and pulled it over his head before he shifted so he was lead on his front, with a groan befitting of all his hundred and five years, and she moved so that she was straddling him from behind, her soft hands gently rubbing over his bruises.

“I would offer you a massage.” she smiled softly “But I think it would hurt.” “Yeah it would so thanks but no thanks” he mumbled into his pillow and she gave a soft laugh

“Maybe tomorrow?”

He nodded as her hands slid up to his shoulder, gently working there before she patted him softly on the ass.

“Turn over.” With a heave he did as he was told, eyes closed as she gently swept over his bruises to his ribs and torso, before her thumb skated over the one on his left cheek, and then her thumb was replaced by her lips, which flickered down his jaw, his neck, over his Adam’s apple and back up to his mouth. With a soft sigh he accepted her kiss which was soft and she pulled back, nibbling on his bottom lip before she pressed her forehead to his.

“I love you.” she whispered softly, and he opened his eyes and nudged her nose gently with his.

“I love you too.” his eyes locked onto hers “So goddamned much it hurts at times.” “Just at times?” she teased and he rolled his eyes, causing her to giggle a little. He reached up and brushed her hair behind her ears. 

“Until the end of the line.”

She looked at him, her eyes full of warmth before she leaned down and kissed him again, this time with urgency. He hungrily kissed her back, his hand in her hair as he pulled her to him, before he rolled them over, ignoring the aches to his body. Nudging her head back with his nose on her jaw he gently kissed up her neck, nipping at the spot underneath her ear, listening to the soft sigh she made before she moved and pulled his mouth back to hers, her hand tangling in the hair at the back of his head. He grasped her T-shirt and broke the kiss to pull it over her head before their lips locked again, his hands gently squeezing her hips as she shimmied under him with a soft whimper. A few deftly undone buttons later and the pair of them were naked, soft kisses and teasing touches being shared, but no words. 

They didn’t need any.

Steve laced his fingers into hers, gently holding her hands above her head as he slid home, causing her to gasp and drop her head back. His movements were slow, deliberate, his hips hardly leaving hers as he stroked her spot again and again. She arched her back, her head dropping further onto the pillow, and his lips kissed every inch of her neck he could find before he sucked and nipped his way across her clavicle whilst she keened underneath him, hiking her legs around his waist, locking her ankles behind him to keep him close to her. His movements grew deeper, but never faster, there was no urgency to any of this. It was love, it was about being close, the connection, making one another forget the shitty events of the day. Steve wanted his wife to understand what he felt and in turn she wanted him to realise she knew. She knew he loved her, and she loved him. 

She came with a soft cry of his name, her orgasm creeping up on her. It wasn’t a sudden explosion, more a long drawn out burn but no less intense. Her back arched and she pulsed around him, drawing a deep rumble from Steve’s throat as she did, and his lips caught hers with slightly more urgency as his hips picked up their pace as he continued to thrust whilst she clamped around him, hot and tight. It wasn’t long before he found his own release and with a low keen of her name his rhythm stuttered eventually slowing to a stop and he let go of her hands, breathing heavily, as he gently cupped her face and kissed her deeply.

Still without a word, her hands tangled in his hair, nails scratching his scalp and he gave a soft sigh, closing his eyes as he relished her touch. Sliding his nose up against hers he gave her a gentle smile before he rolled over, pulling her with him. Her head found its favourite spot on his chest, and her hand gently tangled in the blonde hair besides her cheek.

Steve’s hand gently carded through her hair, and he dropped a kiss to the top of her head.

“I’m gonna miss her.” she whispered a moment or so later. “So much.”

“I know,Kitten.” he sighed, pulling her closer “We all are.” She didn’t speak again. It wasn’t long before her breathing grew even and Steve knew she was asleep.  He could feel himself slipping under, and right before he lost consciousness for some reason Katie’s voice came back to him, her angry jibe filling his head.

“Well if you change your mind, I snagged some extra particles from Pym. You can always go back, find out what you missed.”

There was a slight irony to her words, as ten years ago he would have jumped at the chance. But not now. 

Not now…

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

10 Times Arnav Singh Raizada Crossed The Line (Part 2)

Read Part 1

This is the continuation of my analysis of my favorite television hero - Arnav Singh Raizada. A man who has as much as qualities as flaws. And my endless inspiration to writing a thousand words! 

Recap: Arnav Singh Raizada is our perfect, tortured Mills & Boons hero. Sometimes it’s unfortunate when recent shows have aped his behavior and not the layered characterization that he had. However, sometimes (according to my own opinion) I felt that his character might have crossed the line. It’s moments where no explanations justify his behavior.

- Tearing the dori. - Arnav Singh Raizada does not apologize. - Blasting at Khushi for pranking, PRANKING him. - Telling Khushi her anklet, their almost kiss & she, does not matter. - Arnav Hypocrite Raizada - forcing an engaged Khushi to confess her feelings when he’s unable to do so.

Reminding Khushi of her broken engagement cause he can’t handle jealousy.

Manipulating & frightening Khushi with Akash & Payal’s divorce papers.

Telling Khushi he ‘faked’ his sickness to get rid of the ‘Swami’ tag.

Refusing to believe Khushi’s version of events.

Becoming Khushi’s landlord and blackmailing her (emotionally and financially) to get her to come back home.

Bonus

Telling Khushi that she does not have the brains, courage nor talent to face the real world.  

#6 “Tumhara rishta? Hua tha... yaad hai na?”. (S5, E10)

“Your relationship? It happened... do you even remember that?” - A foot in mouth Arnav Singh Raizada.

First Reaction: How to lose a woman in ten seconds ft. Arnav Singh Raizada. Are you bloody serious? THIS… out of all the valid things you could have yelled at her for, HER BROKEN ENGAGEMENT is what you taunt her with?

What’s wrong with it: 

Arnav arranges a party for Akash & Payal according to his own tastes. He never takes into account that his new sister in law might get intimidated in the new setting. This is a power move for Arnav and really not a party for Akash & Payal because nothing in the party is for them. From whatever we know about Akash, he is a quiet guy who enjoys little things in life - not necessarily wine and a cultural show. Payal feels left out. Akash’s discomfort is visible at the party as he keeps asking Payal if she’s comfortable. 

Arnav literally has this party for himself, and he can’t party. In general, Arnav acts like an entitled dick for these two episodes. In the previous episode he makes it clear that he’s aware how Khushi might feel left out and does not invite her to the party for her own sister. He’s insensitive, callous and mocking (and surprised as to why NK and Khushi mix well?).

And I LOVE that Khushi and NK chose to hang out with each other because Arnav is almost pushing her away to another man by his ‘generous acts’. Like if these two were not soulmates and born for each other, I was a minute away from being “Yeah Khushi, I think you should date the other guy who is more sensitive to you even though he’s lived all his life in another country and knows you for like 48 hours.”

Quick note: I’m not all that aversive to NK & Khushi being a pair. Now wait a second, it might be like oh Khushi really pushes their families to think that she and NK go well together. Well… she and NK have an instant connect like no other - even in the future NK is almost always able to tell when Khushi is disturbed or when something happens that demeans Khushi’s worth in the house. 

Also, imagine this, in the shoes of Akash - if I am Khushi’s friend and I’ve seen her go through a terrible engagement, incessant insults from my older cousin, and then I see her connect with my younger cousin who actually makes Khushi smile and laugh all the time…

I don’t think it's a mystery that I’ll ship her with a man who can make her smile. And no wonder why the Sangeet performance stuns everyone. Anjali & Akash more than anyone else (because I think they were the only ones who thought there was something else between Arnav & Khushi and they put that thought in the backburner until they see that shit… whatever it was has simmered all along).  

Track Rewrite: 

I’m just realising that I don’t have many track rewrite ideas for most of the foot-in-mouth situations of ASR. The dialogue that Khushi, here, says is amazing. She literally replies to him, word for word, and makes him see his own hypocrisy and also highlights that he’s furious about something else - that he does not want to accept, as usual. 

She states, in between lines, that she has given up reading his mind and trying to be gentle to him when he, frankly, doesn’t deserve that treatment. If anything, their sangeet rivalry and the win-lose situation just gets to my nerves at one point.

Head-canon: 

NK openly flirts with Khushi more on seeing how interested Nannav is with Khushi. NK never regards Khushi as his sister-in-law, for him Khushi always remains as his best friend and as the woman he understands best which he not-so-lightly rubs against Nannav’s face every now and then. He truly loves Khushi, but as a friend. It’s a pure, true friendship between Khushi and NK.

Public Service Announcement: 

Before planning a party please make sure you have a survey on what the people actually want in the party, especially if it's hosted for them. A party is not a party if you’re the only one enjoying it.

#7 “It is so sad Khushi, ki Akash ka phone mere paas hai.” (S6, E19-21)

“It is so Khushi, that I have Akash’s phone with me.” Arnav, holding Akash’s phone while Khushi frantically dials Akash to ask if he knowingly signed the divorce papers, and make him aware of the same. Arnav makes Khushi think it’s Akash’s divorce papers - Akash actually signed some random office papers. 

First Reaction: I know the context of everything but that was a low blow. I KNOW ARNAV DOESN’T KNOW HIS KHUSHI BABY IS INNOCENT but somehow this part is tough to digest.

What’s wrong with it: 

Abuse of power - as simple as that. Of course we’re all immediately swayed to Khushi’s feelings because we know she’s an innocent bub. But to Arnav she’s the woman who’s breaking his sister’s house so he probably feels justified in torturing her with the idea of breaking her sister’s house. I get it, it’s a tit for tat situation. 

But if we’re thinking deeply, this is not just an average argument that they always have - Khushi literally is going through a mental breakdown to stop Payal. This could have easily gone out of hand. Just saying.

Track Rewrite: 

A necessary evil to establish the tighthold Arnav has on Khushi regarding the marriage. I don’t appreciate the immediate comedy, romance or smugness that follows. The scenes are great - individually. But BUT BUT I feel this event would trigger a more serious reaction from Khushi because she has always been very serious when it’s about her sister.

If I had to rewrite this, everything happens the way it is but instead of the childish thing of her jumping into the pool (I know she’s childish but we have infinite opportunities in the future to prove that), she would grow very serious and threaten Arnav to never, ever touch her sister’s marriage. 

I would assume she would become very serious for a few days, and then resume to her usual antics. Arnav’s anger is well justified - on one hand Khushi has the galls to threaten him about her sister’s marriage when she’s breaking his, on the other hand he also would never do any damage to Akash’s marriage.

Head-canon: 

Bua ji, for as much as she’s crossed with Khushi, actually had a wedding trousseau for Khushi (she starts wearing all the anarkalis and salwar kameez post this trip to Gupta House). There’s actually a very emotional moment between Khushi and Bua ji where Bua ji tells her she bought new clothes for Khushi when they were buying things for Payal. 

So yeah, just an emotional, almost mother-daughter bond between Khushi and Bua ji where the latter expresses her disappointment in the way Khushi married but also loves her beyond everything. 

Here Bua ji says that she’s upset with Khushi because she’s their own, if not she won’t have even bothered. Also, Garima and Bua ji have a talk in between where they miss Khushi immensely and find it difficult to live in a house without the two daughters. 

Garima and Bua ji have a mature talk, as adults, wondering if what Khushi did was a return to what they did to Khushi and then they receive Anjali’s call to attend Holi.

Public Service Announcement: 

Don’t manipulate! Also, always check with your spouse for any assumptions you might have against them :) Communication is key. For more enquiries about relationship troubles regarding assumed infidelity or hiding secrets - contact Dr. Jalebi S, your own sweet relationship expert. But yes, don’t hide stuff from your partner if it involves their family and DON’T MANIPULATE AND PLAY MIND GAMES!

#8 “Kitna bhi jaan lo, kabhi kabhi kisi ko pehchaan na bohot mushkil ho jaata hai. Kal raat mujhe kuch bhi nahi hua tha. Main bilkul theek tha.” (S6, E46) 

“Irrespective of how much you know someone, sometimes it can get very difficult to (truly) recognize someone. Last night, nothing happened to me. I was absolutely fine.” Arnav Irony Singh Raizada. Doesn’t the first line apply to himself too? He thinks he knows her, but he does NOT. 

First Reaction: YOU SON OF A BACHELOR! YOU WERE NOT NOT SICK! 

What’s wrong with it: 

I don’t like how Arnav’ perennially pissed with Khushi the minute he got up. Pfft, Khushi’s beautiful and seeing her wonderful face in the morning was a great moment for a Rabba Ve moment because of the sweet Rabba Ve they had the night before! I love Arnav’s discomfort in knowing how Khushi took care of him while he was asleep, while no one was there to watch. Because for him, it was crossing borders on what their marriage was beginning to seem.

And then the whole I was not sick, bleh, and then Anjali (I love her, wonderful woman) but for the life of me I couldn’t understand what in the world she was trying to explain. Because really, no way had Arnav lied to Khushi to make her feel better/less guilty.

Rather he was belittling and mocking her efforts.

There’s one thing about hiding intentions, there’s another about forcing and painting someone’s actions in a romantic light - that’s not right.

Arnav is a master at hiding his intentions. Whenever he yells at Khushi where she’s gone - it means he’s worried. When he tells Khushi he doesn’t need her help - well he actually needs it. When he’s ignoring her - he wants her to stop ignoring him, etc.

So we know Arnav when he hides intentions. Hence I felt the Anjali-Arnav scene was forcing the viewers to sympathize with Arnav and be like heh, he did that to make Khushi feel less guilty. I anyways sympathize with Arnav given the battle he’s facing internally... so this one scene felt odd.

Quick note: I have a love-hate relationship with Khushi eating all the food scenes and embarrassing him in his office with wifey behavior. Also, Arnav has a very telling body language when he lies - he speaks very fast, and does not meet her eyes and in many cases, physically turns away from her while speaking.

Track Rewrite: 

Just… let’s put the wonderful Anjali/Arnav moment somewhere else in the story where Anjali notices Arnav actually lying to make Khushi feel better. Cause Anjali does hit the nail in stating that her brother never reveals what he feels.  

Also, I love the entire Gupta House adventure that they have but there’s a part of me that wished it happened at another time.

Like if it happened at the time it did, then oh God please change what triggers the marriage reveal.

Otherwise the entire thing can happen when Arnav decides to stay in Gupta house cause Khushi won’t be coming to Raizada house (post his great “You’re the biggest mistake of my life Khushi”). In a way it would be hilarious that Arnav is trying to win Khushi back but also is facing extreme discomfort at the lack of luxury he’s become used to - classic ASR. 

And probably Khushi suffocates him with a recall to the ‘Swami’ track and makes his life a living hell in her house. Made for each other that they are.  

Head-canon: 

Arnav and Khushi get used to and look forward to having meals together. Arnav, rarely, eats alone ever again. It’s a development Nani and Anjali are very happy to see.

Public Service Announcement: 

Don’t eat all food if you have a diabetic partner. Also, don’t try to understand everything your sibling does - try questioning them instead of justifying. Try drinking coffee instead of tea if you’ve been awake all night <3

#9 “Tumhe kya lagta hai, agar tum uss raat mujhe bata deti toh kya main aankhein band karke tumpe vishwaas kar leta?” (S7, E15-17)

“What do you think, if you told me your truth that night then I would’ve believed you without a doubt?” Arnav, to Khushi, after she’s told her side of the misunderstanding. And with that, every fan’s highest hopes dashed and worst dreams came true.  

First Reaction: NO ARNAV DON’T… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

What’s wrong with it: 

He refuses to believe her. He has a choice, he has heard both sides of the story. And he refuses to believe it. But my biggest problem - Khushi pretends she has no idea what moment he’s referring to?

Girl, you’ve been forcefully hugged by Shyam only once in your life and until and unless you’re amnesiac you would remember that traumatic moment. I am just so upset that Khushi does nothing nor says anything concrete when he says he doesn’t believe her. She doesn’t say Shyam molested her.

She puts it on Arnav. That what he knows isn’t true. That he doesn’t deserve the truth, which is a good argument but state more! Then she goes silent *argh*

Her argument starts strong, but ends up terribly. She just ends up saying all the things that don’t matter!

Track Rewrite: 

Khushi should have told why she went to the terrace that night. That she thought it was he who asked her to come up. That Shyam harassed her. That Shyam has continuously harassed her. That Arnav’s not the only one who threatened the safety of Payal’s marriage - Shyam threatened it too.

No matter what Khushi did, somehow Payal’s marriage always ends up on the line. If she tells, Payal’s marriage is threatened by Shyam and because she didn’t, Payal’s marriage was threatened by Arnav.

ALSO KHUSHI APOLOGISES FOR HIDING THE TRUTH!

It should’ve been a clash of their ideologies, their personalities, her heartbreak over the fact that he doesn’t know she loves him, his disbelief that the truth is too good to be true (and essentially confusion because if Khushi loved him all along then it meant that he misunderstood her all along and he’s not great at seeing his own mistakes). She would’ve been too angry to make amends - not until she realizes he’s leaving for London and his mistake doesn’t matter.

Here’s a fic that I wrote that covers this. 

Head-canon: 

Akash and Payal are the only ones who later get to know the entire thing as this topic affected both the marriages deeply. Nani also knows, but of course not the part that he forced her to marry for six months by threatening Payal’s marriage.

Public Service Announcement: 

Lies rarely do good. And be careful to analyze any traumatic event from all angles! What’s visible is not what happens and what happens is not visible!

#10 “Khushi, tum kiraya kamkarwana chahti ho? Toh tumhe mere saath ghar aana parega.” “Nahi.” “Okay, mere paas koi choice nahi hai. Mujhe tumhara ghar girwana parega.” (S8, E21-22) 

“Khushi you want to reduce your rent? Then you to need to come home with me.” “No.” “Okay, then I have no other choice. I will have to tear down your house.” - Arnav to Khushi. The most inappropriate sentence anyone can tell to another. Given that they are husband and wife, it’s even worse. 

Quick note on the photos: Khushi Kumari Gupta, not believing the man she married in all three scenes. Arnav Singh Raizada, lying in all three scenes. 

First Reaction: 

Everybody… yeah… don’t really rock your body… yeah… Stupid. Singh. Raizada’s. Back!

Oh my God stupid Raizada is back again! Brothers sisters everybody’s sayin’…. Not really gonna bring Khushi back nor gonna show anyone anything how… *continues butchering Backstreet’s Back* I gotta question for you (yes I do ASR so) you better answer now..

Are you original? Yeah

Are you the only one? For Khushi, yeah

Are you sexual? Very, but that’s not helping… Noooo

Are you everything Khushi needs - Yes but you need to shut up.

Are you - SHUT UP AND SAY SORRY

AND MEAN IT IF YOU’RE SAYING SORRY - IN FORTY EIGHT HOURS YOU SAID SHE’S THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF HER LIFE, APOLOGISED AND FOLLOWED IT UP BY THREATENING PAYAL’S MARRIAGE, MADE HER WORK FOR YOU AND BOUGHT THE HOUSE SO YOU COULD HIKE THE HOUSE FEES AND THEN LITERALLY TOLD HER YOU CAN DRAG HER OUT OF THE HOUSE… and you think she’ll come back?

DUDE, what are you smoking?

What’s wrong with it: 

Boy… no. No. Ask NK, Nani, Payal or even Lakshmi (talk with the people who understand Khushi!) on how to appease Khushi. A part of me was really upset with this track cause although I understand that Arnav is never really gonna do a full blown redemption and they need to stay true to his character, I didn’t see how ANY of his actions would get Khushi back…

It’s not wrong that he was upset at Khushi for visiting Anjali - even I was! Like seriously, Khushi, despite her best intentions, really does make the biggest mistakes! However, implying that Khushi’s existence is the reason why Shyam cheated Anjali was shit. On top of that he calls his marriage a contract, blackmails her about Payal, is unable to wish her a happy birthday, becomes her landlord and stops all utilities (hence now blackmailing her using her family) to get her back?

I don’t see the sense. I try really hard and I’m team Arnav but for me him becoming her landlord was just flexing his money and power. It was a low blow, and it’s really not funny how he keeps threatening the peace of her family but get’s pissed off when Khushi, unintentionally, disturbs his family.

It does not matter that Arnav would essentially not carry on with his threat, to Khushi he would and that’s what matters (cuts off electricity and water to prove his point and it does cause inconvenience her family). It’s just a very unhealthy atmosphere over here. The little moments are great, independently, but apart from that I just found this to be a very troubling scene.

Track Rewrite: 

Oh I have a lot, LOT of theories for this one:

- Khushi first thinks Arnav has bought the house from her landlord so as to stop the harassment and Arnav is guilty AF because he didn’t expect that. Bua ji enters right when Arnav talks about the truth of the marriage. She hears everything, and asks Arnav to leave her house, forever. She goes all ‘Haye Re Nandkishore’ on him. DRAMA. #BuajiRoxx

- Landlord shit doesn’t happen. Khushi leaves the house, Arnav decides to stay at her house since she isn’t going back to Shantivan with the promise to reminisce all the sweetest moments she shared. Khushi kills him with the ‘Swami’ shit, again, and Arnav ends up being irritated due to lack of adjustment but also does everything possible to get Khushi back. They have their Rabba Ves and then he brings her back and gives her the sweet gifts.

- She returns home (just like in canon) but distances herself from all the Raizadas (and does not jump into making Raksha Bandhan celebration - ugh, women are not always obligated to keep their sasuraal happy)! For a few days she becomes just like Arnav - unemotional, unaffected, orderly and unexpressive. Akash, having repaired his relationship with Payal and hence having gained a deeper insight, helps Arnav overcome his marriage issues.

Head-canon: 

Khushi and Arnav have a conversation where she asks him when, where and why did he transfer the house’s papers to her name. It’s an important and tender moment. Arnav gradually comes to know Khushi married him more because it was he who proposed marriage. Khushi gradually comes to know that Arnav, never, would threaten Akash-Payal’s marriage. 

Did she accidentally come across the ‘office’ papers that Akash had signed? Did Arnav actually play a role in smoothening Akash-Payal’s relationship post the Shyam reveal - anything on those lines.  

Public Service Announcement: 

IF YOUR PARTNER ISN’T COMING BACK HOME AND YOU THINK BLACKMAIL IS A SOLUTION THEN MESSAGE DR. JALEBI/S IMMEDIATELY. YOU NEED HELP. At this point, irrespective of star crossed pyaar, I’d 9/10 recommend separation, break, counseling.

Bonus

"No you can’t. Kyunki asal zindagi main guzara karne ke liye paise chahiye hote hai. Aur paise kamane ke liye akal chahiye hoti hai. Himmat aur confidence chahiye hote hai puri duniya ka saamna karne ke liye. Apne sapne pure karne ke liye. Aur tumhe inn sab main se kuch bhi nahi hai.” (S11, E2)

“No you can’t [face the world on your own]. Because to face the real world you need need. And to earn money you need intelligence. You need bravery and confidence to face the whole whole. To fulfill your dreams. And you have none of these.” Arnav, to Khushi. The moment when Arnav forgot that Khushi was the sole breadwinner of the Gupta’s and Khushi forgot that Arnav is a multimillionaire.

First Reaction: WHAT ARE THE WRITERS DOING? WHAT IS THE CHANNEL DOING? WHAT IS ARNAV DOING? THIS LEADS TO A FASHION SHOW INSTEAD OF AN ACTUAL CHAT - WHAT IS KHUHSI DOING? WHAT AM I DOING??!! Should I stop watching the show?

What’s wrong with it: 

I really liked Arnav and Khushi’s difference of opinion when it came to raising Aarav - not where she is being stupid and asking to burst crackers (she is retracting on so many of her characteristics right now I can’t keep a track). I did not like the second half of the argument because it really took the characters several notches down on their growth/development. 

I really liked Khushi stating to Arnav that - hey, buying happiness with money can work with adults but terribly spoil children. But then what followed, without a hint of apology, into an embarrassing and terrible Fashion Pageant that completely missed the point of this argument!

Neither parent thinks it’s important to sit and have a calm chat with Aarav. Arnav is a ‘yes’ man around him. Khushi is there to heap the values instilled on her. Is anyone trying to make Aarav understand, no? And Arnav’s evident lack of respect for Khushi will translate to Aarav. 

They’re both bad at parenting and this could have been a really nice track that they could have wrapped up in a few episodes but no.

Aarav never learns. Arnav gives a half assed dialogue about ‘oh I know Khushi you’re talented’ and Khushi spends the next 10 days behaving like an 8 year old, not chatting up with Aarav about behavior issues, and thinks winning a Fashion Pageant is being courageous, talented, determined and independent.

*throws head on wall*

Track Rewrite: 

Oh I HAVE TONS but I’ll explain my favorite one. First of all, I’ll let that argument be because it is natural that this is where Arnav and Khushi might conflict. But instead of Khushi’s childish sulking that puts Arnav into a ‘oh let’s make her jealous, call her to office, appease her by some shitty ASR plan and probably apologise somewhere’ and Khushi going all ‘haww, he called me brainless, now I’ll prove so by stupidly acting like a kid in his coat’-

Arnav and Khushi stand still when they realise he has crossed a line and he storms off, leaving a very quiet Khushi alone. They both walk on eggshells, neither’s ego letting the argument down. It seriously hampers their relationship. They just don’t speak and anything small leads to a big argument. 

Khushi spends an enormous amount of time in her catering service in an attempt to prove herself, becoming a bit crazy behind earning money which makes her off character. Arnav throws himself in office, and is almost happy when he realizes Khushi’s catering service does not earn even half of his monthly profit, annually. A competitive streak drives a wedge between them. This goes on - that troubles the entire family, and stops until Aarav misbehaves with Anjali.

This breaks the ice wall between Arnav and Khushi, draws them out of their workaholic spheres. Bua ji, Payal, NK reprimand Khushi for being absent in raising Aarav, her obsession to make Aarav religious and traditional without making him understand the reason of the values and above all, competitive with her husband that she grandly declared she can’t live without. Mami, Nani, Akash reprimand Arnav for pretty much the same.

When Arnav and Khushi talk to Anjali, she again reprimands the both of them in terms of parenting, marriage and the coexistence of both. Arnav cannot buy upbringing, manners, ethics, respect and character through money. Khushi cannot instill goodness, kindness, generosity and honesty by piling beliefs of the Lord. If that was the case then her husband - who would get all the money he needed from Arnav, and believed in all the Gods - would be a good man.

Arnav and Khushi talk to their son, together, to figure out his actual problem of fitting in. Aarav is surprised to learn both his parents were orphans. He truly bonds with them after getting through his adjustment fears and issues. In teaching Aarav, Arnav and Khushi realise what truly matters - their love. And that they had forgotten how similar they were. 

With Aarav they have met another person who is just like them - alone, afraid, orphaned and lonely who’s standing at the same point in life where he either turns himself into a man with absolute belief or none at all. And with parents who have faced the extremes of fates, Aarav might just have the perfect upbringing.

Hence, Arnav and Khushi patch up with an emotional, tear jerking hug. They end up recounting each other’s stories and realize how far they’ve come along. They never had a name for their love and after all the hatred, denial, lust, acceptance, confession, purity, marriage and parenthood - no one name’s going to fit either.

Head-canon: 

Aarav, although behaviorally like his father, grows up to be a complete Mumma’s boy. If anyone thought Arnav is super protective about Khushi, well Aarav is ten times more protective about his mother. Also, internally Aarav is a big fan of Hindi cinema, loves sweets and has the most outrageous dance moves. But he’s also an introvert so he would kill anyone who pointed out on those.

Public Service Announcement: 

Adopt children when you are ready. Having a child can take toll on a marriage so COMMUNICATE - COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR SPOUSE, YOUR CHILD AND YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM!

Phew, this is the end of this post and I sincerely hope you liked it! Feel free to send your thoughts through asks/notes/etc.