#like even though he comes back in season 6 he still dies ya know?

[pumpkinrootbeer]

Something that really hits like a gut punch the older I get, as someone whose been actively suicidal the majority of my life, is how fucking. Young Sam is in the original 5 seasons. If it ended as originally intended, Sam never would have made it out of his 20s and I can't accurately describe how sad that makes me

[owaowabetch]

Minecraft pt. 1 (Sykkuno x F!Reader)

Oneshot (maybe part of a series??? idk we’ll see): Even though you’ve never played minecraft, you still manage to build a great house with your basement buddy. Friendship with a hint of romance. This is season 1 of the OTV ftb server (Pre-relationship; part of Uh-oh & Impasta)

“Ok guys, so today’s stream is going to be a lil different” You chat to your stream “We are going to be playing Minecraft with the OTV gang and other people we’ve played among us with!” Waiting for Minecraft to load on your pc, you continued on chatting “We will be playing GTA later on in the stream, we have a few jobs lined up with some people, so hopefully we get a lot of money from that” 

You minimized your face cam into a corner as your character appeared in a random spawn area near quite a few people. You saw multiple boxy players run around and hitting each other. So, you walked around picking up flowers  and with the help of some members of your chat, you managed to collect wood.

“OH! HEY Y/N!!” A loud crunchy voice yelled terribly into your ear causing you to cringe visible and immediately start hitting them with the wood in your hand.

“Your mic is dank man” You continue hitting them, which turned out to be Leslie and she starts to hit you back with a laugh. You guess her flowered hand overpowered your wood and hungry state, because you died and respawned to where you first showed up.

“Ah fuck” You complained before another boxy figure showed up infront of you and you recognized the blue shirt and green striped scarf, so you cheered. “Sykkuno!”

“Hey, Y/N!” His character moved his head up and down “What happened? How did you die?”

“Leslie’s mike was..crunchy?? And then she killed me!” You jump around

Sykkuno laughs “What? I’m surprised mobs havent got you. I’ve been killed many times by them” and in comedic fashion poki ran by screaming for help as she was being chased by a giant spider. You both watched as she would turn and hit it before continuing on her run.

It killed her. She puffed into smoke and in her place was a grave.

You both laugh as Sykkuno gasps out her name and you both run to her grave.

“Is this part of the mod? Or is it part of minecraft” You ask crouching on her grave and read her name.

He jumped around you with an answer “ Uh no it’s a mod that abe put in. If you break it the stuff you died with will spawn out”

“Oh” Continuing the crouch and uncrouch “What now?”

“Well i was going to find some of my graves, but I’m gunna find wood to make tools and find food” He answered and with that you decided to follow him

You collect the fruit from the near by trees and kill some of the animals with an axe that Sykkuno made you. Along the way you collected flowers and wood.

“We should find a house before it gets dark and more mobs come and kill us” Sykkuno walks to you then throws a stack of wood on the floor “Or maybe you build us a house. I’m not good at that type of thing”

You stare into your cam and do the debbie ryan “Oh my god, living together?” You pick up the stack of wood and start building a small house “Is that good?”

“Ya, that’s great! I’ll put the door down and I got us some beds, so we now have a spawn point. So when we die we just end up here” He explains doing so

Nodding along to what he said, you start putting the flowers you collected around the house before entering the house. He put the beds down next to each other. Making sure to mute yourself, you do the finger point and with a ‘tch’ sound you smile “ Oh my God Chat! Our beds are next to each other !?! How crazy. Heehee”  

The house was lit up with torches. “Click on the bed” He tells you and you do so. Your characters laid there side by side and your chat was hearing you make embarrassing noises. “Chat better not be telling him how embarrassing I’m being please. This is a desparate plea for you guys not to tell him!! Like Im joking guys please” With a laugh, your character gets off the bed and you walk out.

“Oh!” In Sykkuno’s hand was a flower “I noticed you picking up flowers and I know that [Flower/Name] is your favorite, so i picked some up for you”

You can’t stop the smile that appears on your face nor the flush on your cheeks “You are so fucking cute”

“Wha-?” You interrupt him “This is so sweet, honestly Sy.”

He throws them on the ground “It’s no problem. Just saw them and remembered how much you liked them “ and you pick them up, putting them at the entrance of the door “I love it!!! Thank You Sykkuno!!”

He hums and jumps around. You check chat, when a donation comes in telling you to check it, and read that he was purposefully was looking for the flowers because he knows how much you would’ve loved them. You don’t believe them at first, telling them that while he is nice, going around looking for a flower doesn’t seem like a productive thing to do. So, someone from your chat sent a clip of him telling his viewers that he was looking for your favorite flower to give to you. His excuse was that this as your first time playing minecraft, so he wanted you to enjoy it and thought it would be a great present until he can find diamonds.

“Guys! No!! That is so sweet!” You cry out blushing even further

“Hey guys!” A voice called out. A voice you immediately recognized to be Liliy’s “Come look at my house!” Looking up you see her stood further up from the both of you. She started making her way down and gasped “Are those [F/N]!?! Where did you find these! The look so pretty!”

“Yea” You jumping once more “Aren’t they cool?”

“YES! Can I have one?” She asked standing next to them “Is this your house? I love the flowers around them”

“I guess this is where we live now” You respond

“Both?” Lily questioned “You and Sykkuno are living together!?!”

“Yea! He actually gave me the [F/N]s, so you can’t..have them..” You respond to her awkwardly

Lily turns to Sykkuno and hits his character “You fucking simp”

He gasps “Lily” but she ignores him “I’ll take a different flower as a housewarming gift. Now follow me!”

“Y/N, why don’t you go see it while I gather up more materials” Sykkuno told you

You follow her up the small mountain? And there laid her pink house and you gasped “There is pink wood!?!”

“Yea, you just need pink dye. I have a bunch left if you want some” She offered you

“I don’t know if Sykkuno would want to live in a pink house” You enter her house and notice chests and peak into them

“He’d want what you want so just go for it.” She places the flower she took from your house next to hers. “Those chests belong to other people, but here’s mine.” She hits the chest in her house “I think i have like 20 of the pink wood left, so you can just take the rest”

You took the stack from her chest “Awesome! Your house is nice! It’s big too! I’d have to remake our house into something bigger”

“Yea, it’s kinda ugly since it isn’t pink” She tells you causing you to laugh

“It was a last minute thing to hid in during the night” Holding the pink wood in your hand “I’ll probably look up some building tips and stuff later to make a cool place, but thanks Lily!”

You hung out in her house talking with people as they came and went as Lily went to find more flowers to surround her house in. Though someone interesting came in, wearing the generic steve skin with a slightly creepy face.

“Hey Miyoung!” Lily called from out her house

“Hi Lily” She responded “I’m just letting you know I’m putting a death trap in your home. Please don’t tell the victims”

You snorted in amusement “Can I help with that?”

She moves towards you in her crouched state, so you respond in kind. You both just stared at each other in your crouched position circling each other “Okay, so I have a bucket of oil, so I want to dig a hole in the ground and push people into it”

Nodding your head “Clean, my chat was telling me that there is a trapped door, so why not put one on the ground above it and just have people walk in it?”

“We should also put a sign down there, so as they’re slowly sinking to their death, there’ll be a sign that mocks them” Nodding her characters head “I have some signs already, I’ll make the trapped door”

Taking a shovel from your hotbar, you dig a hole 6 blocks down, digging the other side as you make your way down. You then walk to the other side and start to make your way up.

“You should leave an open space for the sign, maybe 2 blocks open?” Miyoung tells you as she eyes you from above. You jump out of the hole you created and shovel 2 dirt blocks. She places a sign down and covers it up with a wood plank that matches the floor of Lily’s house “Wait I need to put the oil down”

So, she breaks the floor once more and jumps in to put the oil in before making her way back up. “I just put RIP on the sign, I think it’ll help them realize that they will die, so..”

“Alright clean clean” You jump around and watch as she places a trap door on the floor above it and placing a sign in front of it.

“We should probably look for victims” Miyoung tells you

You make your character swing their arm around towards the chests in Lily’s home “Well people have stuff in here, so maybe we should wait for someone to come in to grab something and lure them”

“Sounds good” She says and as she says this Sykkuno comes barging in.

“Hey y/n!” He cheers “Oh hey Miyoung! Lily told me that she has a bucket in her chest that she’ll let me borrow. So, I’m just trying to find her chest. Don’t mind me” He rifles through them “Can’t seem to find them “

You open the trap door and look at him before he turns to you two “Oh is it in here?” and down he goes. “Oh!? IS THIS A TRAP”

You start giggling as he starts to panic laugh “y/n? miyoung? Help!”

You both just crouch above him and stare as he slowly sinks “Guys, any help? please? y/n?”

Miyoung just closes the trap door and walks away and in the little chat says that Sykkuno died in due to [Sticky Dipping], so you type in an apology as you make your way back towards the house. You meet him and apologize to him once again.

“It’s no problem. It was actually kind of funny, but check in the chest I have in the house. I got some more stuff for you for the house” He tells you  “I’m gunna go back to get my stuff and the bucket, so i’ll catch you later!”

“Alright, see ya Sy!” You cheer back to him and make your way into the house.”Alright chat, let’s see what he gave us! I’m not reading what you guys, say so no spoilers~”

You open the wooden box and inside were more pink wood planks, glass, stairs, torches, other house materials to make building easier, and some more of your favorite flowers.

You feel your chest tighten as the butterflies appear in your stomach. You smile largely and giddy, opening and closing your mouth trying to gather the words to express how you felt, you were pleasantly surprised by the things he left you.

You wanted to squeal at how nice he is. It is hard to come across a genuinely nice guy that wanted nothing but friendship with you. So, it was easy to fall for Sykkuno; but it was hard to admit to yourself your growing feelings for him, because love is scary and being in love with your friend is even scarier. Once those feelings come out, you can’t take them back and things just become different. So, it is safe to say that you’ll be keeping them to yourself.

“By the way” Sykkuno starts causing you to jump in real life, as you were sat pondering to yourself “The server is making a town square a few blocks away, so why don’t we move the house there?”

You start collecting the items in your inventory “Yea! Are you going to need help carrying the rest of the stuff there?”

He starts breaking the items in your old home “If you have the room for some that’ll be great! yea!”

Once you both gathered the things you wanted to take, you guys bound towards where the Town Square was being made.

“Oh! By the way, can I request you build a basement for me in our house?” Sykkuno asks

The thought of him referring to the house as ‘ours’ made you smile “Yea, but can I ask why you want one?”

“Don’t worry. I won’t build anything that’ll blow up our house” Sykkuno dodges the question

‘Our’ house. Maybe one day that can be a real life possibility. You couldn’t contain the smile growing on your face even further. Maybe one day you’ll have the courage to tell him how you feel.

As you start building near Leslie’s house, a thought suddenly pops into your head ‘Sykkuno there is a girl into you’

[teamfreewill2pointo]

Sam’s Emotional Arc 1/3

I hated the finale immediately, but I’ve spent some time with it and talked to friends who loved it. I can see now what it was about, and I’ve come to appreciate the story they were trying to tell, even if I think it didn’t land right.

I’ve been told that my meta on this has helped other people come to terms with the finale, so I thought I’d compile it in one place from across various discord channels and twitter posts. If you are struggling with the finale, I hope it helps you.

Part of this actually started with a shit post. I was making a joke about Sam being psychic since he was scared of clowns when Dean died by one. I realized that may have been deliberate. I dug into the story more and now I’m convinced it was. Then I came across some excellent meta that fit with the themes I was finding and opened up the series even more for me.

Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.

Cas said it. Dean accepted it. Sam lived it. First, Sam’s journey. 

Clowns pop up in s15 before the barn scene. In 15.01, which was written by Dabb, Sam is injured by a clown. Castiel is able to save Sam and heal his injury. The clown keeps coming after Sam, with Sam having fight scenes with the clown, while others attack the other ghosts. The clown is kicking the shit out of Sam again, and Castiel saves him once more. Sam is unable to fight off the clown on his own both times.

They run until they are able to escape outside a magical barrier. Sam turns to the clown and says, “shut up”. 

This is literally Sam running from his fears. On top of that, this isn’t just any clown, but the ghost of John Wayne Gacy, from an episode also written by Dabb.

Dean: A serial killer clown. I mean, this is, like, the best/worst thing that’s ever happened to you, you know, ‘cause you love serial killers, but – but you hate clowns.

Sam gets nervous and struggles with the lighter before he’s able to get rid of the clown, for now.

I believe this is a metaphor for hunting in general: it’s both the best of Sam’s life and also the worst. The clowns symbolize his relationship with Dean.

Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie was co-written by Dabb (see the pattern?). Sam’s fear of clowns was known since season 2. In season 7, Dabb explored where this fear came from.

On the surface, Sam’s fear is just because he found them creepy, but the episode explains that they actually come from Sam’s fear of being left behind by Dean.

This episode comes directly after an episode where Sam worried that Dean would get himself killed

Sam: Look... Dean, the thing is, tonight... It almost got you killed. Now, I don't care how you deal. I really, really don't. But just don't – don't get killed. Dean: I'll do what I can. Sam: Well, what's that supposed to mean? Dean: It means I'll do what I can. All right? You can shut up about it.

Sam is dealing with Hallucifer at this moment, but Hallucifer doesn’t really scare him. Losing Dean does.

Sam has a conversation with an employee about greatest fears.

Recognize the actress? She came back for s15 in 15.06. I don’t believe this was a coincidence. 15.06 featured Castiel helping a parent find their lost child in a season that features Castiel worried about losing Jack. Through his experience with her, Castiel confronts his fears and doubts and then returns to join in the fight against God. [I’ll touch on Castiel’s journey more in his chapter]

Sam’s greatest fear is losing Dean. There’s a lot in the series about how Sam felt lonely and abandoned for much of his childhood. A whole episode, Just My Imagination, centers around this. Sam hated when Dean went off on hunts without him.

source In The Chitters, Sam tells Dean how his fear of losing his family paralyzed him as child. It’s a story where an older brother dies and the younger brother never recovers from it until he’s able to lay him to rest (sound familiar???)

Sam: You know, whenever you and Dad used to leave me to go hunting, and I-and I wouldn’t hear from y’all for a while, I, um, I was always sure that some vamp or rugaru, or take your pick, I always figured one of them finally got ya. I tried to think what to do, you know, the next step to take. I was just lost. Dean: We came back, though, every time.

You might naturally think, “Wait a minute! Sam left Dean multiple times!” Honestly, this was something I had a huge issue with when watching through the show the first time. I didn’t understand Sam and hated him leaving Dean in s8. I was completely on Dean’s side at first. But, on multiple rewatches and talking to others, I’ve realized that when Sam left Dean, he was running from his fear. In this TV Guide interview, Jared perfectly sums up why Sam left in season 1; he couldn’t stand to see his family die. Dabb wrote Dark Side of the Moon along with a comic that explains why Sam left in detail. While the comic isn’t official canon, it shows Dabb’s thought process. In it, Sam sees his family as running towards a horrible end and can’t handle dealing with that.

Dean: So what are you gonna do? You're just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it? Sam: No. Not normal. Safe.

There are many more points in the series where we learn about Sam’s fear of Dean dying. This would be 3948573945 pages long if I wrote them all out, so I’m going to focus on the key moments that loop back to this ending, but there’s so much more there.

If you are struggling with this and need more, please let me know and I can do a deeper dive into that subject. We first see Sam’s inability to let Dean go in season 1 when Sam refuses to let Dean die in Faith.

Dean: You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you? Sam: I'm not gonna let you die, period. We're going.

Sam’s whole arc in s3 is him being unable to handle Dean dying. He wants to save Dean, but Dean won’t let himself be saved. This was what Gabriel was trying to teach him in Mystery Spot.

Trickster: This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? Nothing good comes out of it. Just blood and pain. Dean's your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too. It's gonna be the death of you, Sam. Sometimes you just gotta let people go.

This is how Ruby gets under Sam’s skin and what gets him to start working with her. Everything Sam did was to save Dean. In s4, Sam’s arc is about him sacrificing himself in order to save Dean. He’s gutted from being unable to save Dean. In 4.12, Sam decides to drink demon blood in order to save Dean

Dean: [says that they will die early] Sam: Maybe we'll be different, Dean. Dean: What kind of Kool-Aid you drinking, man? Sammy, it ends bloody or sad. That's just the life. Sam: What if we could win?Dean: "Win"?Sam: If there was a way we could just...put an end to all of it.

When Sam breaks out of the panic room, he’s suicidal. He’s determined to save Dean with his life as the cost he’s willing to pay. He didn’t think he would survive killing Lilith. He was committing suicide in that moment. The reason why Sam is so willing to sacrifice himself in s5 is because he has low self esteem. He blames himself for everything that goes wrong. In Sam, Interrupted 5.11, also by Dabb, Sam has a breakdown under the weight of his guilt. He hates himself and he feels his rage is out of control. In season 6, we see soulless Sam and, unlike souled Sam, he has no rage. Yes, he’ll kill when necessary, but he’s not angry. It was Sam’s fear driving his rage. He felt out of control of his life and let it lead him down a dark path. In season 7, he sees Dean heading down a dark path and he feels helpless to stop it. He worries about dragging Dean down and tells Dean to let him go. But, at the same time, he’s developing coping techniques. He’s starting to face his fears. 

And then Dean disappears and Sam completely falls apart. Sam didn’t have a healthy relationship with Amelia. They were two broken people clinging to each other. Sam and Dean struggle to reconnect after their time apart. There’s a lot of text addressing the horror of a partner dying and people trying to escape from it.

Mrs Holmes: He could see the end of my days were at hand, and... He had lived centuries all alone, but I don't think he could bear the thought of life without me. That's why he drove off that bridge. You must think I'm a monster.

In Hunteri Heroica written by GUESS WHO!?!? Sam finally acknowledges that he was living in a dream world with Amelia. He was running from his past. We see a flash back with Sam pressing on his scar, which he did to help himself distinguish fantasy from reality.

The episode is about a man refusing to engage in reality and harming those around him. Sam has a big confrontation with him

Sam: Look, it can be nice living in a dream world. It can be great. I know that. And you can hide, and you can pretend... all the crap out there doesn't exist, but you can't do it forever because... eventually, whatever it is you're running from – it'll find you. [CASTIEL appears to be taking Sam’s words to heart.] It'll come along, and it'll punch you in the gut. And then... then you got to wake up, because if you don't, then trying to keep that dream alive will destroy you! It'll destroy everything!

Likewise, when Sam was with Jessica, he wasn’t honest about himself. He was hiding from his family and his past. Running to avoid pain. Sam is avoidant in general. Not just in his relationship with Dean. When he talks with Rowena in 13.12 Various & Sundry Villains about his fears of Lucifer, he admits that he could talk about it with Dean, but he can’t bring himself to.

Sam: I’ve seen it too. What he really looks like behind – behind whatever vessel. It… Yeah, still keeps me up at night. Rowena: How do you deal with it? Sam: I guess I don’t deal with it. Not really. I mean, I pushed it down and, um, the world kept almost ending, so I keep pushing it down, and I don’t know. [stammering] I really don’t talk about it, not even with Dean. I mean, I could. You know, he’d listen, but… That’s not something I really know how to share.

In 15.20, Sam’s past is front and center. Literally. I know a lot of people found the Winchester family portrait odd and upsetting, but it symbolizes something I’ll get to in a bit. Instead of trying to avoid his grief, Sam has moments where he lets it wash over him. He goes and sits in the car. He’s no longer avoidant. He’s no longer running away. He’s letting his grief move through him. He’s literally sitting with it.

Soulless Puppy pointed out that the characters emotional arcs is similar to DBT. Please look through their awesome meta here.

Personally, I see them as similar to the therapy I do called ACT. Both are forms of therapy where instead of fighting against them, you accept painful emotions and allow yourself to feel them. If you don’t do that work, then you can’t stop feeling them and your fears/ghosts will always haunt you.  In Swan Song, Chuck tells us that “Dean didn't want Cas to save him. Every part of him, every fiber he's got, wants to die, or find a way to bring Sam back. But he isn't gonna do either. Because he made a promise.”  In 15.20, Sam initially didn’t want to let Dean go. He’s been refusing to do this since season 1. When he’s separated from Dean he lives a fake life or destroys himself/the world trying to get Dean back. There’s a moment in 15.20 where Sam looks at Dean’s guns. He wants to commit suicide, but he makes the choice to live. For the time in Sam’s life, he let Dean go and lived with his pain. He no longer ran from it. After Swan Song, Dean was unable to let Sam go. He wanted him back. After Carry On, Sam is able to do what Dean couldn’t do. He lives a life outside of Dean. What’s more, Sam has reconciled himself with his past and his family. It’s clumsy and I wish it were better shown, but having the family portrait and their parents in heaven isn’t meant to excuse the way Sam and Dean were raised. In order to move past the trauma of his relationship with his parents, Sam fully integrates them into his life. In Lebanon, Sam was able to confront and forgive his father. In doing so, he can also forgive himself. Mary asks for forgiveness too, and he grants it to her. He doesn’t forget what happened, but he’s able to move forward and leave the intergenerational cycle of violence. He’s able to raise his son, Dean, the way his brother should have been raised.

Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.

Cas said it. Dean accepted it. Sam lived it.

I can see why people see Sam’s life after Dean as unhappy. I hated it so much because I saw it as horrible and sad the first time through. I had to sit with myself and my emotions first. I think it’s because we’ve been told by society that we have to get rid of our grief in order to be happy. The finale was showing us that it’s possible to do the opposite. [Personally I think it would’ve been better had they showed more overtly happy memories, but many of my friends saw this straight away] When I began therapy, one of the first things I learned was that there aren’t “negative” emotions. When working with our kids, we call them Big emotions. In DBT/ACT, all emotions are treated as normal and natural. Grief, anger, sadness, etc, these are all normal parts of the human existence. We don’t need to run from them in order to have happiness. We can live with them. As interstitial said in our chats, “you can't change the past, you can only change your relationship to it. To accept that your past contained both love and heartache, to miss it, but also know you can do better; that's actual recovery, as good as it gets.” As Soulless-Puppy explained to me, Sam lived in duality. Dean was dead, but Sam lived. Sam was happy, but he grieved. Dean was with him in the watch and the car and his son, but Dean also waited for him in heaven. I hated the finale the first time I saw it, then next watched it with my boyfriend who loved it. As we were watching together and discussing it, I realized that Dean’s death scene wasn’t just about him, but about the show itself. 

Dean promising Sam that he will be with Sam in Sam’s heart is also the show promising us that they will never leave it. That’s why Alex kept posting “The end has no end.” Just as Sam carried Dean with him in his heart, we will carry the show with us. I hope this helps. It’s a terrible thing to feel upset about an ending and thinking of the show this way, recognizing these patterns, is bringing me peace. I still have issues with how it was written, but now that I see what they were doing, I wish all the more that they had the chance to do it right. Please share your thoughts and experiences. I love hearing different opinions. Next up, Dean. Then Castiel.

[y0itsbri]

I adore your writing!

Can you please, please, please write an early gallavich fic?! I have such a soft spot for seasons 1-3 in particular. I think it’ll be a great dynamic to explore more. They’re just adorable!

Thank you so much and I look forward to your future work!! 💛

omg hi you’re so sweet anon!! 🥺💛💛 (i think i'm gonna try something a little bit different with this, let me know if you had anything specific in mind that i missed or that you would like to see!) -- apologies if it's ooc, it's been a little bit since i've rewatched early seasons. this got a little more angsty than i expected oops

---

ian didn't think fear and love were supposed to go hand in hand. at least as closely as it has been for him. all of his siblings' relationships had issues in one way or another, but he didn't see the same fear that he felt. he kept everything bottled inside of him, threatening to shatter. the big feelings weathering him down over time, threatening to drown him. he was everyone's dirty little secret. secrets stuffed in magazines or in locker rooms or freezer closets. he was just a kid over everything else. as much as he liked to think he held some power, he was beginning to feel afraid it had slipped, if he ever even had it at all. he wasn't particularly careful, but he was afraid of being caught in the middle of something he was told was so wrong. he's seen the consequences and it hadn't been pretty. but how could love be so wrong? especially when it felt so good. he knew he was good.

but ian didn't think he truly knew how good it could be until he met mickey. there was still secrets with mickey, of course. there was definitely more at stake if anyone were to ever find out - his household not exactly hanging up a rainbow flag during the month of june. or any month. so it's not like ian's fear had vanished. but more like mickey made things just better. everything else felt like a blip on the radar, too small to even be detected. he was all consumed. he would do anything to feel this electric and this fearless. this powerful. being with mickey is how he noticed the power had slipped before. how did he not notice? why didn't he care to notice?

at first, he didn't mind being mickey's secret. it was exhilarating. with every glance with mickey, he felt warm, enveloped, seen. he wasn't hiding and mickey couldn't either, even if he tried. with every touch, he felt it burn deep. a shock being sent straight up his spine. if he was a cartoon, electricity sparks would be flying. it was like mickey was fire - through his anger and violence and art and love. he was wild fire and spreading quick, taking out everything in its path. ian stood in the middle of the path with welcome arms, daring, begging it to take him too.

brash words and snarky comments from mickey's mouth were nothing but love poems as far as ian was concerned. he may not be able to play things cool, but he didn't want to if he even had a chance of making mickey smile. god what he would give to make mickey smile. to laugh if he was lucky. he didn't want to play anything cool if it even had a chance of making mickey feel good. all he wanted to do was make mickey feel good. feel safe.

it was like a magnetic pull in some stupid way that didn't make sense but made perfect sense. being in each others' space or even knowing that the other was even alive was enough to make ian see stars whenever he closed his eyes. a wish come true. separated by juvie walls or pocketed together by summer sweat, ian couldn't shake him. he didn't want to shake him, his best friend. because that's what they were. even if they couldn't explicitly say that. they couldn't say a lot.

ian knew that mickey's fear was so strongly rooted and for good reason. he wondered if he would ever be able to dig him out and free him. he wondered why he wasn't enough for mickey's love to over-shine his trepidation in the same way. he couldn't live with the possibility of mickey not feeling it the way he was so certain he had. he couldn't fake that. right? it killed him to keep his heart so locked away when it was aching to burst with every breath of mickey. he needed to go before there was nothing left but splatters between his ribs. so he left. he had to. if mickey didn't want him, he didn't want himself. he couldn't stand to be with himself anymore, every part of town a constant reminder of his own heart threatening to crumble like the buildings he once inhabited. he did what he needed to do. they would understand someday. they had to. they would be fine without him. he needed this.

it had been a few weeks into basic training, ian's phone had been blowing up with messages. he hadn't responded to anyone. they wouldn't understand yet. a smattering of messages made him stop in his tracks. he didn't know hear them come in. it could have been days ago. his heart felt like it was going to leap out of his throat. he couldn't bring himself to block the one person who held his heart in his palms, keeping it warm and alive despite the crackling cold circling around him. this is why he had left. this was bad. it was so bad. but if it was bad, then why did it feel so good? so good and warm. mickey.

Mick (3:56 am): i know u dont wanna hear from me man but tell me ur ok. u gotta be.

Mick (3:57 am): deb and mandy wont get off my ass. pick up ur fuckin phone.

Mick (4:05 am): for me. for them. idgaf.

Mick (4:07 am): im not good w words but uh listen to this. it's late - queen

Mick (4:10 am): c ya. plz dont get ur army ass killed

Mick (6:12 am): fuck gallagher

The way you love me Is the sweetest love around But after all this time The more I'm trying The more I seem to let you down Yes, baby

Now you tell me you're leaving And I just can't believe it's true Oh, you know that I can love you Though I know I can't be true Oh, you made me love you Don't tell me that we're through

fuck. he was in too deep again. this is why he left. his stomach ran cold. he was drowning he thinks. his phone died, and he didn't bother charging it. no one would throw him a lifejacket now. how could anyone forgive him? he couldn't even forgive himself. he couldn't be saved now. it's late. too late. too late. too late. he couldn't look back. he would be fine. he had to be. right?

[thebrownssociety]

Space Jam 2 AU [AKA Across The Serververse] Part 2.

Hey! Roxy Goth here. So, just a couple of quick note before we carry on, firstly -  from now on I think I’ll just have the title of this as ‘Across The Serververse’ and drop the Space Jam 2 AU bit. 

Secondly - I can’t remember exactly how Rhythm got the toons into the Servereverse, by that I mean if they literally just stepped into it, ALA Dom + LeBron or if they had to go into a spaceship like Marvin’s. 

So I’ve just done something that may or may not be right. Enjoy!

Warning: Swearing

*6 months later*

Pepe and Penelope were excited. After 6 awesome - but admittedly long - months they were finally coming back to Tune Town. As they had been last to be picked up last time it meant they were also last to be dropped off, so by this point they had the boat to themselves.

“Ah, mon leetle cherry-blossom.” Pepe said, embracing Penelope. “The other passengers, they have gone, which leaves a monsieur and a mademoiselle alone together. What do you suppose we do in ze short about of time we have?”

Penelope giggled and hugged him, but as she hugged him she got a view of their home world. “P-p-pepe-” She said, faintly.

Not liking the nervousness in his wife’s voice, Pepe turned and his jaw dropped.

Tune Town was deserted. There were no signs of life anywhere, tumbleweeds ambled lazily across the desert parts of it, while in the forest parts the trees had started to go somewhat wild. That had always been Elmer and Sam’s job [and Marvin’s, if he was around] to cut down the trees. So where were they?

Before either of them could really process what was going on, the trees started shaking with so so much force that Pepe and Penelope were inclined to cling to each other, despite the fact they were on a boat.

“What is it?” Penelope whispered.

“I don’t know.” Pepe said, forgetting to put on his French accent. 

Just then a small figure darted out of the trees and ran towards the beach. “Don't stop!” The voice of Bugs Bunny called. “Keep goin’!” They could see him properly now, running down the beach and along the jetty. When the boat got close enough the rabbit braced himself and jumped onto it, hitting the floor with so much force he became flat.

“Hey! You have to pay!” The boat-captain yelled, while Pepe shook Bugs so he became 2-D again.

The rabbit reached into hammerspace and pulled out a couple of notes before just hurling them at the captain with an impatient. “Dere, does dat cover it? Now-” He turned to his friends. “Am Oi glad ta see you two!”

Pepe and Penelope were to stunned to respond to that, there eyes taking in the rabbit’s appearance. His eyes were wild and excited, his chin had stubble on it, his fur was messy and unkempt and - the most worrying of all for Bugs Bunny - his ears were down. He had also seen fit to dress himself in a tramps outfit. 

Seeing his friends horrified look, Bugs looked down at himself and said. “Eh...I guess ya wanna know what happened, don’ cha?” Upon getting a nod Bugs yelled to the captain to ‘park it a moment!’ and - grabbing a torch out of nowhere - began with: “It all started a mere two weeks after you left meself, Daf and Elmer were practising our famous ‘Duck Season, Wabbit season’ routine, actually, ya know what? I’ll show ya in flashback. Hold on-” He put his hands to the side of his head and concentrated.

*Flashback starts*

“Duck season!” Bugs said, ripping down a poster,

“Wabbit season!” Daffy snapped, yanking down another poster.

“Duck season!”

“Wabbit season!”

“Duck-!”

Bugs was cut of in his witty comeback by Elmer suddenly sighing and sitting down on the grass.

Bugs and Daffy looked at each other in confusion, before simultaneously shrugging and sitting next to the hunter, one on each side of him. Bugs got a carrot out his hammerspace and took a bite. “Eh...what’s up, Hunter?”

“Sowwy.” Elmer said, tiredly. “I’m not feewing it today.”

“No prob-lemo!” Daffy said, before Bugs could speak. “What do you want to do? We could go to Australia!” He pulled down a backdrop of Australia, causing them all to sweat. “Or France!” He pulled down another backdrop and threw a string of onions round both his brothers necks. “Or England!” He pulled down another backdrop and grabbed a cup of tea out from hammerspace. “Justh name a place!”

Elmer, holding a cup of tea with a string of onions slung round his neck, looked wide-eyed and confused. “...Home?” He said, simply.

Daffy sighed and the backdrops fell around him. “Okay then. I suppose we’ve had enough for one day. Oh, Bugsy, Bugsy ol’ buddy, ol pal!” He slung an arm round the rabbits shoulders. “Might I enquire what you are making for dinner?”

“Eh...ya can ask.” Bugs said nonchalantly.

As Daffy started to try and barter his way into a good dinner, the scene switched to the middle of Tune Town, where a tall, black, slightly shimmering man was talking to the other LT’s.

Bugs’s eyes narrowed and he marched towards them, yelling. “Hey! Who de hell are you? Dis is a private island, ya know!”

“I am Al-G-Rhythm.” The guy said, smoothly. “I am Warner Bros newest mode of technology. The link between all of your worlds. The Serververse. No longer will you have to travel between world like a second-class citizen, you can all live in one place together.”

“An’ dis benefits us...how?” Bugs asked, not believing all this for a second.

“You get to expand your horizons. Actually go into other characters worlds. You can explore, who knows? Maybe even rebrand-”

“Eh...I don’t think so.” Bugs said, confidently. “We’ve done enough ‘rebranding’ over de past few years. We’re all good here.” The other toons nodded along with him. 

“That’sh what YOU think!” Daffy said, dramatically poking Bugs in the chest. “I for one would LOVE to spread my wings!”

“Eh...jus’ talk ta Warner Bros, Daf. I’m sure they can get you a role spoofing some of de other properties.” Bugs said, easily.

“Of course.” AL-G-Rhythm purred. “With the offer I’M making you you can go anywhere and be whoever you want to be. All of you.” He added, seeing the other Looney Tunes beginning to look interested. “Anything and anywhere you want to be. I mean, let’s face it, you’ve all done so much for this stup - I mean, Warner Brothers over the years, isn’t it time you cut loose and had some fun?”

Bugs’s eyes narrowed. The Looneys were perfectly capable of having fun without needing to go across the serververse, thank you very much. He looked around, expecting to see his family with similar expression, but instead they were all talking to each other about it and sounding...excited?

“I can take you anywhere you want to go.” Rhythm said, his voice raising a little above the noise. “Hogwarts, Austin Powers, Matrix, you name it, WB have probably done something with it at some time. And if you wanted to go back in time, no problem, we still have the Paramount Pictures stuff on a different planet.”

“Reawwy?” Elmer -who was a big fan of The [original] Addams Family - asked.

Rhythm smiled. “Reawwy - eh, really. All you have to do is step into the serververse...” He stepped to one side and a suddenly a glowing door appeared from nowhere. “...And you can go anywhere you want. Now...who’s with me?”

The other Looneys looked tempted, they really did.  But after a shared glance and one of those ‘telepathic conversations’ they were so good at, Porky shook his head and said, politely but firmly. “T-th-thanks for t-t-the offer, Mr R-r-rhythm, but if it’s all the sa-the sam - makes no difference to you, we’ll stay here.”

The other looneys nodded.

Al-G-Rhythms eyes grew hard and his voice dropped to a baritone level as he said. “Well...don’t say I didn’t try and do it the nice way.”

Before any of the toons could ask what he meant though, Rhythm raised his hands and every toons except Bugs was lifted in the air, all with various shouts of surprise.

Bugs heart pounded as he looked at his family's frightened faces - some of them were clearly in pain - and he yelled. “Let ‘em go! Take me if ya hav’ ta!”

The other Looneys all started yelling at him not to do it, that it was a stupid idea. Rhythm looked at the grey rabbit and seemed to be considering it. Then he shrugged and - with a dramatic swoop of the arms -  made all of Bugs family disappear. 

“NNNNNNOOOOOO!” Bugs yelled and kind of did a little dance where he tried to go to one side, then the other, but realised that unlike his cartoons he had no idea what had just happened. “A’ight Buster.” Bugs growled. “What the fuck have you done with my family?”

“Oh!” Rhythm said, with false innocence and Bugs’s fist itched to punch him. “That was your family? Oh...I had no idea. From the way you treat them I thought it was the ‘Bugs Bunny’ show.”

“Yeah, a’ight, ya made ya point. Now bring ‘em back!”

“And where would the fun be in that?” Rhythm smirked, then became deadly serious. “Now listen to me ‘wabbit’ and listen carefully, course I ain’t sayin’ this again. I have sent your assistants-”

“-Brothers and sisters you mean.” Bugs corrected.

Rhythm looked surprised. “You consider Lola Bunny a sister? I thought you were dating.”

“Eh...” Bugs waved a hand. “That’s in canon Doc. This is ‘off-stage’ so ta speak.”

Rhythm hummed thoughtfully then - remembering he was supposed to giving a monologue - carried on with. “Whatever they are to you is no matter. The point is they are all spread across the servisverse and they’ve all been sent to random places that-” He laughed. “-Hell, even I don’t know! And YOU-” He pointed at Bugs. “-Have 6 months to find them and if you DON’T they will be deleted!” He started laughing hysterically.

“Eh...” Bugs said, left eye beginning to twitch. “Ya know Warner Bros have access to the servers as well and will realise we’re not in our world? They’ll then send us back.”

Rhythm scoffed. “You think I’m an idiot? I’ve thought of that - you wanna know how? Well, FORGET IT!” He suddenly bellowed, getting right in Bugs’s face. “I’m not going to tell you! You’ll have to figure it all out for yourself. but I’ll make it fair for you.” He said, voice taking on a soft, almost fatherly quality. “I promise that I won’t look at your progress until the last day, deal? Then you can’t say I’ve interfered. Deal?”

Bugs yelled his protestations at the top of his lungs, but Rhythm just laughed and disappeared back into the serververse. 

*End flashback*

After the end of that flashback it was safe to say Pepe and Penelope were quite shocked. They were still trying to get there head around the fact that all this had happened in the 6 mere months they’d been away, when they heard a strange sound and saw Bugs crying.

Penelope hushed him and Pepe offered him a handkerchief. Bugs blew into it noisily at exactly the same time the horn blew before handing it back to Pepe who looked at it in disgust and threw it over the side of the ship. 

“So what happened after that?” Penelope asked, fearing she already knew the answer. “Where are they?”

“Oi don’t know, okay!?” Bugs wailed. “I don’t know! Dere in different worlds somewhere, but I don’t know where and I don’t know how it works! Oi don’t know if they’ve just gone to the worlds, but without being able to shift so they stand out like a sore thumb or if they’re replacing someone else within dat world! In which case, where’s de character dere replacin’? Oi don’t know which worlds dere in, oi don’t know if dere safe or happy or bein’ tortured - I DON’T KN-!”

*SLAP*

Bugs blinked and felt the imprint Penelope’s hand had just left on him. “T’anks. Oi needed dat.”

“We weel get them back.” Pepe said, placing a hand reassuringly on Bugs’s shoulder. “Myself and Penelope will help you. We will not rest until out family, it iz complete!”

Bugs smiled shakily and wiped his eyes. “Well, dere’s one issue with dat-” Seeing his brother and sister’s curious look he gave a half-hysterical laugh and asked. “Well, why do you t’ink oi’m still here? Oi can’t get out. I’ve tried goin’ back through to Warner Bros central, oi can’t do it. The portal we use physically won’t let me through. Oi t’ink Rhythm has put some kind of block on me. To stop me leaving so oi can’t find da others. It’s de only thing that makes sense. An’ I’ve tried different versions of me as well from all across the years. King me, jester me, classic me, new me. I even tried Ace Bunny, dat’s how desperate oi was! I can’t leave-”

“-What about Chungus?” Penelope asked. Seeing the weird looks Pepe and Bugs were giving her she explained. “It sounds like Rhythm has put some sort of block on YOU. But...Big Chungus...he isn't technically a version of you, is he? He started out as a meme taken from when you were shape-shifting”

“He’s in ‘World of Mayhem.” Bugs said, doubtfully.

“Which is a game!” Penelope said, excitedly. “Not a tv show! Have you tried it? No? Well, give it a go!”

Feeling excited for the first time in 5 and a half months Bugs took a breath and started to shape himself into the monstrosity that was Big Chungus. When he had finished he smiled, leapt onto the mast and - donning a pirate hat and sword - yelled. “Full steam ahead! Warner Bros Central here we come!”

As the exit - aka the portal - that led to Warner Bros Central loomed over him Bugs felt nervous. ‘Please work, please work, please work-” He chanted under his breath. 

Then with a flash of blinding light, they went through. 

[storytime-with-moth]

Writing modern teen Dad Sokka (zukka uni)

I wrote this a few months ago, but I ran out of steam and inspiration, so anyone is welcome to take this on and finish it as their own or take it as a prompt and try there own story.

Summer of grade 11, Sokka and Yue spend the whole summer as lifeguards, soaking up the sun, making each other laugh and dreaming of the future.

One night it’s just the two of them in the pool after it’s closed, you can see the full moon through the windows above, Sokka and Yue lay on floaties driving around the pool.

“Hey Sokka?”

“Hmm?”

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Sokka laughs “Haven’t heard that since I was a kid and I wanted to be and otter penguin - and no I have no idea where that came from.”

Yue turns over so she can look Sokka in the eyes. “Seriously though, what do you want to do when you can leave this small town and its small ideas.

Sokka could tell that there was more behind the question but tired answering it honestly “I dunno exactly “What” I want to be, but I think I would like to build things, useful things too. And I’m not really a car guy or a building guy.”

Yue snorts “Ya not a car guy, says the guy who failed to get his license twice!”

“Hey!” Sokka splashes yue playfully. “Okay okay, I have been looking the some of the research into mixing prosthetics with robotics and focusing more on make prosthetics one with the body, I don’t know much about it yet. But I guess I started reading all about them and I kinda became obsessed.”

“what about hockey?”

“I love hockey, and the coaches at school think I’m good enough to get scholarships, so if hockey helps support an actual career for me I’m all for it, but I know I want to do more than catch pucks my whole life, I want to really use my brain and solve puzzles.”

“hmm” Yue turned over and looked back at the moon thoughtful.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Well as you so gracefully put it, what do you want to do when you can leave this place that’s too small for you and your big ideas and dreams?”

“Well when you put it like that… I want to travel, see places, important places. I want to fall in love, out of love, I want to have enough friends that my house is always filled with good food and loud laughter. I want to be a Mom someday, I think maybe I want to go to school and study philosophy, not sure what kind of job that leads to but I want to ask questions, the big questions like why are we here, what is a life well spent?”

“Whoa”

“Ya�� Whoa”

“and have you talked to your dad about that?

“Sort of, and it sort of didn’t go well.”

“he’s still set on you making the Canadian swim team? Duty to country and family stuff?”

“YeP” she said as she popped the P

“That sucks”

“indeed it does”

They floated around in silence for a bit longer.

“Hey Sokka?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you want to have sex?”

Sokka promptly fell into the water, Yue’s laugh echoing around the empty pool.

They did indeed tumble into bed together that night, an awkward interaction for both of them that ended with the laughing covered in sweat. That morning when Sokka woke up Yue was already sitting on his bed looking at his doodles on the walls.

“Sokka I love you, I do, and I honestly thought maybe I loved you like a girl loves a guy, but I think I just love you because you're my best friend.”

“Ookaaay. I think I should add in you’re my best friend too? Because you’re being weird”

Yue looked to her hands in her lap and a tear fell to her hand. “Sokka, think I might like girls.”

She said it so quietly that it took a second for Sokka to understand what she had just told him.

“Whoa, no I mean, Cool! That’s fine. I support you, wait was I really bad last night?”

Yue’s tears quickly turn into laughs “No you idiot! You ere great, it just wasn’t right”

“Okay well cool then…..”

“Cool then”

“promise you won’t tell?”

“Yue, I promise I won’t tell! I can even pretend to be your boyfriend so your dad can’t freak out, and we can totally go to the girls soccer games this year if you want?”

“Sokka I love you, you big dummy”

“Well I love you to, to the moon and back dreamer”

___________________________________

So Sokka and Yue were still best friends and they spent the fall attached at the hip, and when Yue found out she was expecting a baby and her parents kicked her out, Sokka just grabbed her hand and her backpack and walked into his house stating that Yue lived here now.

Hakoda and Bato nodded and welcomed her home, Katara squealed and fawned over becoming an auntie.

And for a while things were good, they were complicated as they prepared to become teen parents, co parenting as best friends, both of them aiming for scholarships and working part-time gigs whenever they could to save up. But life was happy, they were going to have a baby.

But then things went wrong, Yue went into labour 6 weeks early, her pressure dropped, the baby’s dropped, there was blood, there were doctors everywhere, then there was a small shrill cry, more moving and running and yelling. Then there was a lot of quiet.

Yue died in labour, their baby was in the NICU for three weeks to improve her lungs and even then doctors were worried about how premature she was. Finally after weeks camped out in a hospital next to his baby in a box or in his bed in the dark or the shower staring at the wall, he could bring his daughter home. She was going to be okay.

Her name was Juno Kya Last name, and she was perfect, wide hazel eyes like her Mom, and the sharp cupids bow like Kya, it looked like she would have Sokka’s dark hair and complexion. She watched everything with curious eyes, and didn’t cry unless she was hungry or tired which was often the first few months. But Bato and Hakkoda loved their granddaughter to bits and helped with everything. The diapers, the late feedings, the tummy time, the grieving.

The grieving was the hardest. Mostly because he was to busy trying to be there as a Dad and as a student and as a team player. He spent so long being there for everyone else that one night once hockey season was over and Katara took Juno to a girls sleepover he was all alone, for the first time since he was a little boy after his Mom died.

The dam burst and he sat on the floor and cried, he cried until his Dads came home and they wrapped him up in a hug and he cried some more. Then they made hot chocolate and sat on the couch in thick chewy blankets. They talked and talked, Hakkoda speaking about loosing the love of his life with two young children, being a dad by himself, Bato spoke about loosing his best friend Kya so unfairly and traumatically. The spoke about the unfairness of life and the peace in death, and how he will never move on but he will move forward, with one hand holding his daughter and the other pointing him forward to his own future.

When Katara came home the next day, Sokka was already awake and making blueberry pancakes poorly singing ice ice baby. When he saw his sister holding Juno he scooped her up and gave her a million kisses.

They were going to be okay, because they were loved, because Sokka was smart, because Sokka was going to be driven just like his best friend was, he was going to ask the big questions whenever he could, and love and laugh, so much his home was filled with it.

For Juno and for Yue, and for himself too.

_________________________

So Sokka worked his ass off, he won a full ride scholarship to university for hockey to study bio engineering, he was even able to work on family residence on campus, which took a load off his shoulders of trying to figure out travel to and from school with a baby, now he skates, lives and attends school on campus (which even had a daycare)

During the summer leading up leaving for school Bato revealed that ever since Sokka got into school he has been trying to transfer his job to the same city so they could be closer and he had not only done that but he had gotten a promotion out of it too. So Katara was starting at a new high school for senior year and Bato and Hakkoda were moving to be 20 minutes away from Sokka’s school.

He knew he would have to get used to being more independent, as he knew his dads thought he would be annoyed by them following him, or his sister would be upset about changing schools. But no, katara had high hopes for her new adventure and sokka was just relived to not be alone, and that Juno had more than one badly an adult person in her life.

_________________

Little hands grabbed at Sokka’s hair as he hoisted 9 month old Juno up on his hip. “Well June-Bug this is it our home for the next four or so years”

Juno looked up at her dad with wide hazel eyes and replied in noisy baby babble.

From behind Sokka Bato came up and rested a hand on on his shoulder “Deep breaths kid, you’re going to be great.”

Sokka smiled ruefully at Bato as Katara ran up with a stroller full of baby things and his dad struggled with his hockey bags as he tried to lock the car with one hand.

Sokka looked at Juno again and whispered to her and himself “Deep breaths kid”

Later after they had gotten the crib set up in the attached office to Sokka’s room Bato and Katara took Juno for a walk in her stroller to grab some food. While Sokka and his dad finished unpacking.

“Son are you sure you want to stay on campus, are you sure you want Juno to stay with you? We could take her for the weeks mostly and you could come stay with us at the new place on weekends. I know you expected to do this more by yourself, but Bato would move oceans for you kid and got the new position in town, so we’re here, we can help.”

“Dad… Ya I’m going to need help, so thank you, I will take you up on looking after Juno when I need it, but you and Bato are going to be looking after her as her grandparents and not as her guardians. I promised Yue - Juno and I are family, and I’m not going to pass her off whenever I feel like not being a Dad anymore, she’s my kid and I want to be here for all the stuff, the walking the talking everything, and that’s not going to happen if she’s only my kid on weekends.

“Sokka you’re doing just fine son, more than fine really. Okay okay well when Juno wants to see her Great Papa and GB (Grand Bato) you give us a call, or if you need to pull an all nighter for an assignment you call, anything you call and we can be here. And when you get your game schedule, email us so we can make sure one of us can take her to the games, Bato is very excited about the baby headphones he bought her.”

“Okay Dad Okay, Now get out of here ya old man, and Dad Thanks for being here.”

“Of course Sokka”

________________________

Sokka was pretty pleased with his new place, sure it was small, but it was clean and had more room than he expected to get so he was grateful. The suite was in the family/accessible living accommodations which was a small building with elevators to every floor. This suite had two rooms on opposite sides of the small common area which had a worn in couch and a coffee table. There was also a small kitchen and an even smaller dinner table. Sokka’s room had a small attached office space that he turned into Juno’s room, even though she still co-slept with him most nights, it was good to have a crib for naps and a place to put her never ending supply of diapers, blankets and clothes.

Sokka's roommate was a paraplegic kid named Teo who happened to have basically the same schedule as Sokka so they quickly bonded over advancements in the medical and mechanical fields. Teo also seemed pretty chill and took a liking to Juno right away. Which made Sokka endlessly happy because, well they were now living together and babies cry and poop so he was worried about tiptoeing around his new home.

Day care still didn’t open for the next two weeks while sokka would be attending training camp so his Dad would be taking most of the days with Juno, but it happened to shake out where the first day of meet and greet and skate Hakkoda was attending a support group meeting for retired field medics in a new city and Sokka didn’t want his Dad to miss it, plus it gave Sokka an opportunity to introduce everyone to his best girl.

Katara came to hold Juno while he was on the ice excited to get a sneak peek at university life before her high school year started.

“Da da da” Juno babbled as she mushed her fist into Sokka’s mouth, sokka smiled and pretended to gobble up her hand, the baby shrieked and laughed and Sokka adjusted her baby sweater around her neck.

“Sokka she’s fine, I have diapers, formula, and the big blanket you packet in the stroller, if she gets fussy I can take her for a walk to see the birds, and she won’t get cold because you packed a million layers and she will be held by every limbo there so again, she will be fine.”

Sokka checked the stroller again nodding to what his sister was saying. She was right, he was prepared, he had already emailed with the coaches so they knew what was up and he had coffee with the captain yesterday, who looked like a giant holding his baby, but overall seemed like a good guy. Eric “Wooly Mammoth/ Wooly” Woolner seemed like a solid guy, like physically solid and also like the type of guy Sokka could lean on as a leader while figuring out classes, fatherhood and being on a university level hockey team.

Everyone met in a blank sort of room with lots of chairs facing a projector, Sokka thought it was probably to review game footage and make new plays. He settled in with Juno on his lap as the other guys in the room took notice that there was a baby in their midst.

“Sokka you brilliant man!” Shouted a familiar face from across the room as he stood up and ran over.

Haru was taller and broader than Sokka, much bigger at least than when they last saw each other when they played on the same club team when they were 15.

“Haru, dude! You’re here! Awesome!”

Haru took a look at Juno and sized her up, then he stuck out his tongue and did a silly dance, Juno hid her face in Sokka’s shoulder and Haru ran around so she could see him and did it again. This time he managed to get a small smile before she hid her face again, grabbing Sokka’s collar with her hands.

“She’s cute Socks, she yours?”

“Yep, this is Juno.”

“Nice, is she gonna be at the games and shit?”

“Easy up on the potty mouth there dude, and ya I hope so, my dads moved into town so they hope to be there and bring her to them and stuff.”

“Wicked, is the uh - mom in the picture?”

“Nah, she passed when Juno was born so it’s just us.”

“Sorry bro”

“Thanks, anyways we should totally catch up properly later. Let’s introduce the team to our new good luck charm shall we?”

Katara was right, Juno has passed from bro to dude to himbo, once she realized that everyone one here was as big and cuddly as her dad she seemed to warm up and enjoy the attention. Then it was time for everyone to get on the ice to pass around the puck and do some laps getting a feel for the other players on the ice.

Juno sat with Katara smearing her messy hands all over the glass looking at the people on the rink until she fell asleep in her stroller tucked under a whole blanket.

Sokka enjoyed the team, Haru was a great comfort of home, Wooly was a level headed captain that set a tone for the rest of the guys, then there was Lucas “Longshot” Cho, Dennis “The Duke” Cunningham, Sam “Rooke” Chesterfield, Finn “Pipsqueak” Biggs, and the team manager Suki and the assistant captain Zuko.

All of the guys were loud and boisterous, including Suki, but Zuko seemed reserved and maybe a little prickly.

Then there were coaches Piandao and Bumi. Piandao seemed more serious, the man with a plan. He had coached a lot of different teams and was sought after for his reputation of the coach who turns coal into diamonds, Bumi on the other hand had coached here forever it seemed. He gave Sokka Manic genius vibes that had him thinking that maybe he should let Piandao hold Juno for the occasional practise instead of the ripped crazy old guy who ran around the ice in uggs.

——————

Later when Sokka was packing up and talking to the coaches about potentially bringing Juno with him in case he couldn’t find a sitter last minute working out how that would work, Katara pulled up with a fussy Juno in her stroller.

“Sorry Sokka I have to run, Dad is outside waiting for me and I have to finish unpacking my room tonight”

“All good Kat, thanks again for coming tonight!”

Katara leaned down and kissed her fingers and pressed them to Juno’s head “Love you little bug”

The coaches bid their farewells shortly after and Sokka packed his stuff into the stroller before taking Juno out to settle her and give her a bottle.

Just as he tucked her into his arms and pulled the bottle from the bag someone walked briskly into the locker room where he was sitting.

Zuko and Assistant Captain huffed in and sat down hanging up his phone and tossing it on the bench.

“Uh hi?”

Zuko whirled around looking ready for a fight before spotting Sokka and said baby sucking on a bottle. “Hi Baby.” Zuko said shyly.

Sokka laughed “ Take me on a date before you call me that.” And winked at Zuko.

Zuko looked like a startled deer so Sokka took pity on him.

“Just kidding dude, I mean sort of I am Bi - what a discovery that was and anyways - sorry I wasn’t coming on to you - I don’t know you - I just thought I should make it clear that I COULD come on to you because I like guys, and girls…. Whelp I would start running away in shame now for oversharing but I’m currently a food spruce for this nugget sooo, yep just going to sit here and wish I could time travel to punch myself in the face.”

Throughout the vomit of words coming out of sokka’s mouth Zuko seemed to relax and then smirk at the other man.

“You do know I was talking to your kid right?”

“Yep, yes I did”

“Well see you around Sokka.”

And Zuko grabbed his bag and left the locker room. First impressions for today might be bit all over the place Sokka thought to himself.

____________________________________

Sokka talked to Juno all of the time. What can he say, he is a guy with a lot of words and they can’t all stay in his head.

So Juno has an interesting and advanced vocal for a 9 month old baby.

Of course she can address the people in her life, Dada, Kat, Great Papa, and GB (Great Bato)

She can also ask for milk, to go up, and uh oh.

She loves to say no but can infect say yes (sokka swears he’s heard that one)

But it also means she tries to say things that Sokka often says to varying degrees of baby success

“Stupid gravity!”

"Monkey balls”

“Shoot”

“I love you to the moon and back”

“hockey time.

And her favourite word of all time

Puck

It stopped making Sokka freeze after the first 2o times he thought he heard his baby say fuck. Now its just a cute funny thing his kid has figured out, Dada has to find the puck, and it is her job to hide them.

She hides pucks everywhere, he swears sometimes she is multiplying them on her own because he always finds at least two in the diaper bag and one hidden in her crib.

So very quickly into the season the team dubs the hockey baby with her very own nickname

“Little puck”

Sokka quietly thinks that Yue would have liked that one because her favourite Shakespeare play was midsummer night's dream.

________________________

The team gets Juno and Sokka a fancy running stroller for her birthday/christmas

It was Zuko’s idea

Zuko sometimes comes by to offer to take her for a run when Sokka has exams.

_______________________

Zuko seemed to always be the last to leave the locker rooms, Sokka would usually rush out to pick up Juno from whoever had her unless she had stayed with Couch Dao during practise which she had today.

On days like today Sokka takes his time, cleans and folds his gear, re-tapes his stick for next practise and actually has a real shower. So today he was tucking Juno back in her stroller after changing her as Zuko put the tape away. They were casually talking about the hilarious origins of Pipsqueaks nickname when sokka realized Zuko had a funny look on his face.

“What? Do I have poop on me or something?”

Now Zuko looked even more confused as Sokka looked at his shirt, twisting around to make sure he was free of baby droppings.

“No, you just never look at it, is all. I was trying to figure out what was so -weird about you other than being a crazy goalie, and you don’t look at it.”

“I don’t look at what?”

Zuko gestures to the scared half of his face glumly. “You don’t look at it, you look me in the eyes, always have. It’s weird I guess. You pretending it’s not there.”

“Oh”

“Forget it, sorry.”

“No! It’s just of course I know it’s ther, I’m not pretending its not there, it just seems like whatever happen was probably truamitic, ya know? And - well - okay so tragic backstory time. My Mom was killed in a targeted home invasion by some racists, super fucked up... “

“Holy shit.”

“Yep, anyways everyone knew about it, in the town we lived in, in the next town we lived in, So it was like everyone could see my big truma all the time, it wasn’t up to me to trust people enough to share something that was hard for me and that hurt. It was out of my hands and everyone knew including people I didn’t feel safe with or I didn’t know at all. So I get it, in a way. I see your scar I do, but I get that it maybe comes with a pretty sucky story that’s not mine to make assumptions and judgments on. If I’m worthy of knowing then I will, but I will always look you in the eyes, I’m not going to look at your trauma first because you’re Zuko first.”

Zuko stared at Sokka with his mouth open. Sokka looked away and finished strapping Juno into her stoller before looking back up at the other player. When he did Zuko was looking at the wall, his shoulders turned away from the young father.

“Thank you, and I’m sorry about your Mom… I promise I won’t tell anyone, that scar can stay between us for however long you need.”

And before Sokka could stay anything Zuko turned on his heel and walked quickly from the room.

________________________-

Sokka wasn’t sure what was up with this Zuko guy, everyone else on the team except Haru and Sokka had played with Zuko last year, so they all seemed to have an unspoken understanding of the reserve alt captain. But Sokka couldn’t even get him to smile. Sokka knew he was funny, he was full of 100% organic grass fed dad jokes for goodness sakes! But no, Zuko would not smile, he would not laugh, actually most of the time he seemed to be trying to not talk to Sokka in general. Which was hard considering Zuko was one of the defensemen and it was his job to protect Sokka, you’d think there would be an effort to become friends.

“Maybe he’s uncomfortable with the whole baby thing?” Suggested Teo from the table where he was copying data to a new chart.

“Nahh, I don’t think so, he even said hi to Juno at the first prac - ohhhhhhh” Sokka fell to the floor from where he was sitting with Juno, she took the opportunity of her opponent on the ground and began to climb on her dad.

“What ohhhhhh?”

“I totally flirted with him after that and told him I was queer and he like panic walked out of the locker room.”

“Ugh so do you think he’s homophobic or something?”

“Maybe or something? I don’t get bully vibes from him more like “I act scary so people won’t pretend to like me and then stab me in the back” vibes from this guy. So maybe it’s just a little internalized stuff and he’s not going to beat me up just might not want to talk about it.”

“Well it sucks either way!”

Juno continued to climb around her Dad trying to stuff toys down his shirt and then take them out again. Sokka kept a hand two inches from her back whenever she got close to standing just incase she decided that gravity no longer applied to her and she tumbled over.

“Hey Sokka, do you think he told anyone? Would your spot be in danger if you were outed?”

A cold feeling settled in his stomach “oh shit, I uh, I didn’t think about that… I don’t think I would be kicked off the team. There are policies like that for the school, but I don’t know about how safe I would be from the boys.”

“Oh,” Teo finally looked up from his laptop and set down his highlighter. “You know if you need someone to back you up, I know I can’t take them in a fight but I am friends with some freelance hackers and I could make their lives living hell.”

“Teo, you my man are one scary dude, and the wheels only add intimidation with that tricked out chair. You’re also a really great friend.”

Teo blushed and shrugged “Eh it’s whatever, us queers in engineering trying to change the way people use bionic tech gotta stick together right?”

“Totally, isn’t Uncle Teo awesome June-Bug?” Sokka picked up his daughter and flew her over his head as she wiggled her legs.

“Too too!”

“Uncle Teo?” teo said quietly from the table.

“Oh, well ya, if you want? Juno needs a village right? And one day you and I are going to start a bionics company together, so ya you’re going to be around for a while right?”

“Right.” Teo smiled.

“Toto!” Juno screamed again.

Both of the boys laughed and the night went on.

_______________________________________

Juno was still asleep and Teo was in the house studying so Sokka took the opportunity to go for a run around his building with the baby monitor clipped on his waist band.

It was rare nowadays that Sokka could get a good run in outside, his feet pounding the pavement, a chance to clear his mind.

He was surprised to see that Zuko apparently had the same idea because soon they were matching each other stride for stride around the complex. It was surprising even after weeks of Zuko evading Sokka at any chance they seemed to be in sync.

They were still going strong when Sokka heard Juno fuss from the monitor and slowed to a stop. Zuko halted a few paces ahead and looked confused.

“Are you tired? We can stop-” Zuko started but Sokka quickly waved him off.

“No it’s Juno, I just want to see if she’s going to go back to sleep herself or whether I have to call Teo to pick her up, or if I should go get her. Come on J-Bug settle down,”

Zuko looking curious came to hover over Sokka’s shoulder looking down at the tiny screen which showed Juno in her crib tossing and turning.

“Come on J look your penguin is right there- YES!” Sokka pumped his fist and did a little dance. “My baby went back to sleep, ah I love you!” He continued speaking to the machine and the sky and skipped around before remembering he had an audience.

It looked like Zuko was thinking about smiling and Sokka thought that that might be worth celebrating too.

“Hehe whoops, sorry man. I just haven't been able to run in forever, it's like she knows when I grab my runners and demands to see me.”

“No worries, Sokka.”

So the two hockey players started up a soft pace again around the building. It came to Sokka's mind that he shouldn’t poke the bear but he also had poor impulse control so as he thought it the words came tumbling out of his mouth.

“So have you outed me to all the guys and should I watch my back?”

Now it was Zuko’s turn to stop, he looked like Sokka slapped him.

“What.”

“Ugh! You know, like I can not talk about it and we can just play the game but - should I be making sure that Juno is safe? If she comes to a practise and I’m leaving will I get roughed up by the guys? Because I can take a hit, but my daughter is off limits. Nothing has happened yet so, my guess is you haven't told anyone, but are you going to?”

“No!” Zuko still looked scared “ Never - do I come off as someone who would do that?” He followed up quietly.

“I don’t know what to say dude, you looked scared out of your mind when I flirted with you and practically ran out when I told you I was Bi and ever since you have avoided me, I just assumed you were uncomfortable.”

Zuko looked around as if to check for monsters around them, then he looked at Sokka. “I won’t tell anyone, I haven't, I swear to you that I have your back if you ever want to say anything about it. Juno is safe, I swear it.”

“Whoa that’s a serious tone shift, Um thank you then.”

There was an awkward pause as the two men regarded each other for a moment.

“Just out of curiosity why did you avoid me after? Was it the baby thing?”

“No, it wasn't the baby thing.” zuko mumbled and toed the dirt with his shoe.

“Okay… but were good now right?”

“Ya”

Sokka turned and started to jog again, and soon enough Zuko caught up and they continued for a few more laps. As they were cooling down Zuko still looked amped up, Sokka was surprised, running usually calmed him down but Zuko seemed jumpy.

“Well this was fun! If I can ever join again it would be nice to have company, even company as quiet as you along.”

“Why don’t you bring Juno in her stroller or something?”

Sokka rubbed a hand behind his neck “ Well her stroller is a second hand one we got when she was born, it’s not the kind I can take running without it falling apart or bouncing my babies brains out. And her Mom and I both had much to offer in genetic smarts so I would like my babies brain to be perfect so she can run the world or something.”

“Oh and I guess running strollers are expensive?”

“Ya a bit, and I already spend so much on her clothes, she just won’t stop growing!”

“Too bad, it was also nice running with you.”

“Wow a real Zuko compliment, be still my beating heart!”

Sokka grabbed his chest and fell back and rolled in the grass. Zuko’s lips tilted up just a fraction and butterflies fluttered in sokka’s stomach.

Just then Juno started to cry in earnest and Teo’s voice came over the monitor. “Uh Sokka is her bottle the one in the door of the fridge or do I make a new one?”

Sokka sighed a little then pressed the intercom button on the monitor “Don’t worry about it Teo I will be up in two. Just start telling her the periodic table or something.”

“See you later Zuko”

“Bye Sokka.”

_____________

Sokka’s head was pounding and his vision was blurry, as he stumbled in the dark to the toilet and heaved.

“Fuck.”

At some piont after the sweating and throwing up he dragged himself back to his room to fetch his phone. Juno was fast asleep in her crib because he had a headache last night and homework took forever, so he had put her down early.

Back in the bathroom he rested his head on the cool tile and dialed up his dad with shaky fingers.

After three rings Hakkoda picked up in a panic “Sokka, are you okay? Is Juno okay? Where are you?”

Sokka squinted his eyes at the loud voice of his Dad ringing around his skull. “Dad? I think I have the flu.”

“Oh bud, okay. What’s going on, how can I help?”

“I had a headache last night so I put J down for bed early then I woke up with a fever, I keep throwing up, Dad I -” Sokka felt a lump in his throat and tears sting his eyes. “Dad I don’t want to her her, she was just so small, and I don’t want her to get sick. I know I have to do this, but i love her so much and I dont want to fuck up - “

The tears fall down his cheeks to the floor.

“Oh son, okay. One you love that kid more than anything you would die before hurting her this I know. Two people get sick, people also get better with rest and the I think I can help with that.”

“Dad I know I’m grown up ish, but can you tell me what to do?”

Hakkoda chuckled on the other end of the line. “Sokka, Bato and I will come pick up Juno in 30 minutes, we will drop off some crackers and gatorade too.”

“Dad- “

“Nope Sokka, you asked so I am telling you what we are going to do. We will come and get our baby girl and take her for a few days, You will email your profs and get your homework sent to you, you can only go to class when you don’t have a fever and if you do you’re going to wear a mask, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good you will email your coaches tell them whats what, when you feel better you can go watch practise, the cool might even be good for the fever, but you will not push yourself. This week will not make or break the rest of your life. So you will sleep, rest, do your work form home, and Juno will play at GB and great Papa’s house. And everything will be okay.”

“Okay. Thank you dad”

“We will be there soon buddy”

So Juno went with his Dad’s and he sent his emails and face planted in his bed and passed out for 6 hours.

Later an hour before practise Sokka’s phone pinged, he groaned and grasped around for his phone.

A text from Fire Prince Zuko

Coaches just said you won’t be at practise tonight. Is everything okay? Is Puck good?

Flu bug, don’t want to mess up that pretty ice with my vomit. Juno seems fine she’s at my Dads house until I’m not dying of the plague

A few minutes went by after that and sokka’s eyes started to fall again. “Ping”

I can drop off soup and tea on my way to practise, which suite is yours in family huas?

Dude its fine I can feed myself

Dude. I’m helping at my uncle’s tea shop today. They have soup and tea, it’s no problem. In fact my uncle insists.

14a second floor

And thank you Z

What are Alt Capts for?

Hakkoda was right, everything was indeed okay in the end. Juno had a blast at her grandparents house and sokka managed to get all of his homework done and even managed to watch a few lectures online courtesy of Teo. Zuko was the anomaly he could’t account for but was grateful for none the less. Whenever he could he stopped by with snacks, soup, tea and even weirder sent cute cat and baby videos at random points during the days.

Within 4 days Sokka felt good enough to go to classes and do some dryland training uring practise and after one more day he was back catching pucks on the rink with his daughter sleeping in the bed next to him one hand fisted on his shirt to make sure her dad didn’t leave.

After that week sometimes Zuko would still stop by with a tea, which Sokka had begun to like even when he wasn’t dying. Except now he would occasionally stay and drink his own tea while they watched juno play on the floor.

Sokka was starting to think he might have a new friend after all…

_____________________

[starring-movies]

Killing Eve: Episode Analysis

*SPOILERS*

Season 3, Episode 1 - Slowly Slowly Catchy Monkey

The first episode of Season 3 begins about 6 months after the events in Rome, from the end of the last season, and starts with Villanelle getting married to a woman named Maria - now Villanelle doesn’t have a job, she needs a way to support herself financially so she does this via Maria.

During her wedding speech, Villanelle refers to Eve as “my ex”. In S2E1 when she was speaking to Gabriel in the hospital, she also referred to Eve as “my girlfriend”. Both of these instances show us how Villanelle has considered that she and Eve were in a ‘relationship’ of some sort for all this time.

When Villanelle finds that Dasha has turned up to her “special day”, the same shots are repeated from S2E3. Villanelle runs up to Dasha and then tackles her to the ground, which is shot in the same way as when Villanelle runs up to Konstantin and then hugs him in S2E3. The choice to repeat the same shots is implemented to emphasise the difference in Villanelle’s relationship with Konstantin and Dasha (both people who had a big impact on Villanele while she was growing up) - after being separated from Konstantin, Villanelle fondly hugs him; but after being apart from Dasha for so long, Villanelle feels nothing but anger towards her.

When Villanelle is reunited with Dasha, after Dasha crashed Villanelle’s wedding, she keeps calling Villanelle “Oksana” and so Villanelle tells her “you call me, Villanelle”. This is small but clever little detail. Through just this act of Dasha calling Villanelle the wrong name, we are told that Dasha, like Anna, (who also calls her Oksana) is obviously someone who Villanelle knew a long time ago in her past, before she adopted the name ‘Villanelle’.

We are then reintroduced to Eve, who is doing her shopping in a Korean supermarket in New Malden, London. Not only is Eve buying junk food to stress eat, like she did with the sweets in S2E1, but the convenience food also has a deeper significance. When Eve was with Niko he was always the one who cooked, but now that they’ve separated, Eve doesn’t have anyone to cook for her, so she has to buy things like instant noodles because her lifestyle has changed.

While Eve is paying for her groceries, the woman at the checkout of the Korean supermarket is having a conversation with her friend, where she says “nothing says Romance like Rome” and that she wants to eat “spaghetti” the whole time she’s there. “Spaghetti” is what Eve told Villanelle she’d like her to cook for dinner in S2E8, and the comment that “nothing says Romance like Rome” could have been true for Villanelle and Eve, but for them Rome means tragedy and heartbreak instead.

We also find out that Eve has taken a job in a Korean restaurant. She’s decided to recoil back into the comfort of her culture, where people speak her mother language and eat food that she’s familiar with (and probably associates with home and family). In the restaurant her job is making the dumplings, which is a repetitive, mindless task, just like when we saw Eve chopping the vegetables for the roast chicken in S2E1.

Eve copes with her trauma in the same way as she did in S2E1, after she shot Villanelle. Not only does she do the repetitive tasks, but she also watches “It’s Not Just Shopping”, which is a teleshopping programme, just like how she listened to Armando trying (and succeeding) to sell her some “really expensive windows”.

However, although she is coping with the two situations in the same way, there is also a big difference between the Eve we see in the beginning of Season 2, and the Eve we see in the beginning of Season 3. In Season 2 Eve allowed herself, and was eager, to be sucked back into chasing after Villanelle when Carolyn recruited her again; whereas in Season 3, Eve is stronger and has a certain defiance in her actions. In Season 3 Eve tells her boss she doesn’t want to work in the front of the restaurant, but wants to remain in the kitchen, even though that means less money and more work. Eve also tells Carolyn, when she comes to see her at the restaurant, that she has no interest in Villanelle and trying to find her again, and it is only to investigate Kenny’s death that she decides to return to working with her.

In the office of the boss of the Korean restaurant, a Korean programme where a man gets shot in the head by a woman in playing on the TV behind her. When Eve is on the bus, there is also someone reading a book called “Vixen’s Bite”, with a woman with a gun on the front cover - Eve cannot seem to escape being reminded of Villanelle and of being shot by her.

We are then reintroduced to Kenny, at his new job being an investigative journalist at the ‘Bitter Pill’. Kenny has a conversation with Bear, where he says “well, remind me not to rely on you for anything”; which turns out not to be true, as in S3E8 Bear is the one who finds out Konstantin came to visit Kenny on the day he died.

When Eve is at home, she sends a message to Kenny of a picture of a loo roll. This is a call back to S1E2 when Kenny shows Eve to the toilets at the Trafalgar Office and tells her “it’s best that you bring in your own [loo roll] or it just disappears, how many sheets do you need?”.

After receiving Eve’s message, Kenny goes over to Eve’s apartment and during their conversation he asks her “are you still in touch with, er...” (meaning Niko), and Eve immediately thought Kenny was referring to Villanelle. Eve’s trying to convince herself (and everyone else) that she’s over Villanelle, not interested in her and not thinking about her; but the fact that Eve immediately jumps to thinking that Kenny is referring to Villanelle, and not her husband, shows that this is definitely not the case.

In this scene, she is also wearing the grey T-shirt with birds on it that belonged to Niko, he is seen wearing it in S1E1. However, we only see Eve wearing it when she wants comfort; like after Bill’s death in S1E4, and now in this episode when she’s recovering from what happened to her in Rome.

Later on, when Eve goes to visit Niko at the psychiatric facility, she brings him a bag of fruit pastels, but tells him that she already “ate the green ones for you”. Although Eve probably did this as a caring gesture (since Eve ate them, it’s implied Niko doesn’t like the green ones), it emphasises how Niko still can’t manage to gain control over his own life. Niko wasn’t given the opportunity to try the “green ones��� (he may have changed his mind and started to like them) or leave them in the bag himself, Eve had already made the executive decision for him and he wasn’t given the choice to eat the bag of sweets how he wanted to eat them.

Eve eating the green fruit pastels for Niko could also be an indication that this was something that she used to do for him when they were first married/more happily married. If you take this view, then it could be that Eve is trying to simulate how things were previously, or she is being presumptuous that Niko wants things to go back to how they were - but he goes to Poland without telling Eve, so we can see he wants a new start.

Whilst working in the Korean restaurant’s kitchen, there are two men working behind Eve, who’s conversation mirrors Eve’s relationship with Villanelle. One of the men initially says to the other man, “first it was infatuation, this is love”. This definitely reflects how Villanelle’s relationship with Eve was portrayed; it began as Villanelle’s obsession with Eve because she had hair like Anna, but by the end of Season 2 she claims that it has gone beyond “infatuation” and that she does truly love Eve. This was probably also true for Eve, also beginning as an “infatuation” in Villanelle because she is an assassin, but then developing into a deeper sense of love; but at the end of Season 2, Eve was not ready to come to terms with her feelings, and Villanelle hadn’t reached the point of realising what loving Eve really is.

The next time the two men are having a conversation, Eve interjects by telling the man “you’re not even crying because of her, you’re crying because... because you feel stupid, because you were stupid”. This is obviously how Eve feels about what happened with her and Villanelle - she’s not upset because of Villanelle necessarily, but more because she feels that she was stupid. The same thing most likely applies to Villanelle as well, she probably feels stupid for loving Eve, and admitting to loving Eve, when she thought that she was someone “special”.

You can read my previous Killing Eve posts here:-

First Introduction to Villanelle

First Introduction to Eve

S1, E1 - Nice Face

S1, E2 - I’ll Deal With Him Later

S1, E3 - Don’t I Know You?

S1, E4 - Sorry Baby

S1, E5 - I Have a Thing about Bathrooms

S1, E6 - Take Me to the Hole!

S1, E7 - I Don’t Want to Be Free

S1, E8 - God, I’m Tired

S2, E1 - Do You Know How to Dispose of a Body?

S2, E2 - Nice and Neat

S2, E3 - The Hungry Caterpillar

S2, E4 - Desperate Times

S2, E5 - Smell Ya Later

S2, E6 - I Hope You Like Missionary!

S2, E7 - Wide Awake

S2, E8 - You’re Mine

S3, E2 - Management Sucks

S3, E3 - Meetings Have Biscuits

S3, E4 - Still Got It

S3, E5 - Are You From Pinner? [Part 1]

S3, E5 - Are You From Pinner? [Part 2]

S3, E6 - End of Game

S3, E7 - Beautiful Monster

S3, E8 - Are You Leading or Am I? [Part 1]

——————————————————————————

[lucky-peoqle]

Craig feeling guilty for snapping/hurting at someone he cares about and is very apologetic. (Not many people like Craig but I do i love reading about him) circa s4, maybe he brings up canon nods from his past and gets kinda vulnerable and heartfelt. Idk i love softcraig.

a/n: this is my second time writing this bc the draft didn't save :( i would be lying if i didn't say i watching season 2-4 just for this imagine (i'm on season 6 now hehe)

fandom: degrassi

character: craig manning

warnings: crying (?) other then that it's pure fluff

summary: the reader accidentally calls craig the wrong thing and that causes him to snap on the reader.

craiger.

you knocked on the door of the jeremiah household, waiting for someone to open the door.

just as you thought no one was going to answer, the door opened to reveal the familiar face of caitlin ryan, who was probably watching angela for joey.

you smile, "hi caitlin!"

"y/n, hey! craig's upstairs."

"alright, thanks," you grin, walking into the house.

"y/n!!" you hear one of your favorite people call.

"angela!!"

"what are you doing here?" she smiles, hugging you tightly.

"to see you, of course!" you smile, picking her up and twirling her around, causing angela to squeal out of excitement.

"hey, hey! be careful before you drop her!" caitlin chuckled with a smile.

"don't worry, i always am! you can trust me."

"don't worry, i always do," she chuckles.

"is that who i think it is?" you hear a voice call from the stairs.

"maybe it is, maybe it isn't," you say back.

"haha, very funny," craig says, walking over to you and angela, "hey kid," he smiles at angela, taking her from your arms.

"yes, i'm so funny. maybe even funnier than jt."

"yeah, totally," he said, putting angela down, grabbing your hand and leading you up the stairs and into his room.

you sit on his bed, sigh, and look over at him.

"sooo...," he says.

"sooo...," you reply.

"what's up?"

"i'm stressed, school sucks."

"i feel ya, i feel ya."

"yep," you said, popping the p.

"how's home?"

"same old, same old. i'm pretty sure my dad's grilling tonight. what about you? how's the band, rockstar?"

"good! amazing actually! jimmy's finally got this new riff down. we're really getting somewhere, y'know?"

"totally! craig, i'm so proud of you. you're amazing, have i told you that?"

"maybe like one or twice... or one hundred times."

"haha very funny, don't be too modest."

"don't worry, i'm not. i'm not."

"yeah, sure craiger."

craig's head snapped towards you, making you look at him with worry.

"you okay?"

"what did you just call me."

"craiger...?"

"don't call me that ever again," he said, his voice raising slowly.

"what? why?"

"just don't, okay?!"

"okay, fine. just calm down, please. you know how i get with yelling."

"don't tell me what to do!" he snapped.

"okay, i'm sorry craig," you say, tears streaming down your face.

once he saw the tears, his face softened, "wait, no, y/n i'm sorry."

"don't. i should leave."

"y/n please don't. i need you," he said, grabbing your hand.

"craig, i'm not breaking up with you. i just need space right now," you say, your hand slipping out of his. "see you monday."

you walk out of his room, and down the stairs, walking towards the door.

"y/n? why are you leaving?" you hear angela call out.

"i have a dinner to eat, ange!" you smile, crouching down to her level.

"oh, okay. i thought craig did something bad."

"what? no no no, he would never do anything bad. never think that okay?"

"okay!" she smiles.

"i gotta go, but i'll see you soon alright."

"tomorrow?"

"maybe not tomorrow, but soon, promise."

"pinky promise?" she holds out her small pinky.

"pinky promise," you smile, locking her picky with yours.

"see ya kid," you smile, hugging her tightly before getting up and walking to the door.

before you open the door, you hear a creak at the top of the stairs.

"y/n, i didn't know you were still here."

"i was just leaving actually," you say, reaching the doorknob.

"oh, okay. see you later," he said.

"yeah, see you later," you say, walking out of the house, making your way to your house.

you lay on your bed the next day, which happened to be a sunday. tomorrow you would have to face your boyfriend who snapped at you, even though you didn't know you did anything wrong.

you hear someone walk up the stairs, expecting it to be your mom or dad, until your heard a knock at the door.

"come in," you state.

the door opened to reveal none other then the craig manning.

you sigh, "what do you want craig."

"i couldn't sleep last night, i felt so guilty."

"craig, you yelled at me, even when i told you i hate when people yell at me. why did you yell at me anyway?"

"okay, do you want me to explain?"

"please."

"what you called me.. my dad called me it all the time. i didn't know how to react so i just snapped."

"craig, you should have just told me, i would have stopped."

"i know, but i just... i don't know what's wrong with me.." he said.

you looked over at him, noticing the tears that were streaming down his face.

"craig please don't cry, please. i'm sorry i just left out of the blue yesterday, i should have let you explain."

"no, really it's fine, it's not your fault. it's mine. i'm crazy, y/n.

"you're not crazy, i love you, craig. so much. you're okay, we're okay."

"wait, you mean it? we're okay?"

"craig, we were never not okay sweetie."

"oh, thank god."

"i love you, a lot," you smile, kissing him on the lips.

"i love you more, but i think ange loves you more. she's dying to see you again, wanna come over?"

"i would love to," you smile.

end.

a/n: IT'S DONE!! THIS IS PRETTY LONG LMAO,, also degrassi update, i just finished the episode were jt dies and im SOBBING.

[feather-dancer]

Trollhunters Fanfic Recommendations - Part 2

My original fanfic recommend post seems to have exploded in notes which is a little bewildering if I’m honest. Since then I’ve stumbled over more I have enjoyed thanks to a couple other recc posts doing the rounds, a few I forgot to list and new ones that have appeared on AO3

Want to see the original recommendations post? You can find it here!

General Trollhunters

Love, we hold on together - Jilaire post Season 3 and very cute and fluffy.

Young Atlas - Season 1 finale with Jim and wandering into the unknown to do the right thing.

Hope (or something a little bit like it) - A take on what it was like for Dictatious  when he was pulled into the Darklands when Gunmar was sealed away.

Partners - Season 1 finale with Toby’s thoughts of his bestie going off without him.

Family - Season 1 AARRRGGHH thoughts and everything he’d do for his current and newly adopted family.

Family History In The Context of the Parallel Development of a Relationship as Told Through a Trollmarket Dwelling - Just as it says on the tin.

Under the Sun — Part One: The White Rabbit  - Oh what wonders could Otto have seen and done long before we met him in the modern day? Learning he hates the cold and snow, for one, and someone seriously needs to get him glasses pronto.

The Devil and the deep blue sea - A retrospective on Walter Strickler/Stricklander and missed chances.

Talking About Teenage Angst: For Dummies! - Steli fic with Coach being wonderful and things going rather pear shaped one night.

Sticky Notes - Another Steli fic, this one is very cute fluff with post-its.

~~~

Stricklake

We'll Meet Again - I think the actual summary sums it up better than I can: Perhaps there is no such thing as love at first sight, but what about second or third or fourth or…?

The Festival of Nauna - It’s time for a Troll festival post Season 3 and naturally Not!Enrique “helps” things along in regards to Strickler and Barbara’s still strained relationship. Also contains Strickler who likely has lasting fears of being summoned by gnomes and good old changeling banter.

Fallout - Jim for a time saw Strickler as a father figure he never had, it turns out however he might have been closer to the truth than either had realised. Secrets don’t stay so forever though, be they true parentage or the slight issue of somebody not being human.

Like for Like, Echo for Echo - IT TURNS OUT An Amorous Attack (The hilarious Draal reporting in to Jim) fic had a sequel and I had no idea! We heard from the troll what happened but it’s not quite the same as hearing from the actual culprits.

misc. trollhunters prompts -  Sometimes fluff, sometimes angst, who knows what you’ll find! Also includes Rebecoming which is an AU that makes me yell in good ways. Then Organised Knowledge made me yell even more.

Stricklake: Stones Through A Lake - Stricklake prompts! Contains fluff, angst and all that good stuff.

almost (you) me - In Unbecoming, what if Strickler had glimpses of a life he could have had if things had just happened a little differently?

The Strawberry Shortcake Chronicles - A collection from the fluffy to uh higher rated? Following the long relationship of Walter Strickler and Barbara Lake through it’s ups, the downs, the dawning realisation of falling for someone and of scenarios that are just adorable to behold. And then Strickler fucks up.

Good Morning Arcadia Oaks! - Put it under this section as two of these ARE actually Stricklake which are incredibly fluffy and delightful and the other one is AARRRGGHH having a job and I love them very much. The newest one is god please let this idiot teach again I need it in my life.

~~~

Alternate Universes

Eventide - An absolutely DELIGHTFUL Gang!AU. Fear the renegade teenagers, they WILL break into your house and make you toast.

Eclipsing Daylight - Jim has spent 6 months in the Darklands instead of two weeks before his rescue and brings a whole lot of trauma, emotional baggage and nightmares home with him. This is the fic that made me feel less bad about Ghost!AU as he’s severely put through the wringer here. Heeding the content warnings is a must.

Lasting Repercussions - His fellow Trollhunters were a bit too late rescuing Jim in the Darklands and the Decimaar blade did... something to him before Gunmar was punched away. With visions and thoughts distinctly not his own Jim has an extra thing on his plate he didn’t ask for but perhaps it could also be turned into an advantage.

A Fantastic Upheaval - Barbara meets her unexpected basement lodger and nothing short of sheer shenanigans ensue.

Works in Progress - Three unlikely friends meet one by one in a hospital, none of them are okay but maybe, just maybe, they can help each other on the road to recovery.

My Only Sunshine  - What if Jim was trolled as a five year old thanks to a (Presumed) magical bath bomb? By luck he turns back into a human but only while the sun is up which leads to both mother and son scrabbling to deal with this awful situation while also trying desperately to keep anybody uncovering their secret lest the worst happens to Jim. Expect to feel emotions, a lot of them, and just wanting things to start going their way. “Jim loses track of time” has never been so ominous.

In the Dead of Night - What if Bular survived? It turns out accidentally adopting a child called Trisha, terrible decision making involving pans on fire, a very confused Otto and the show that must still must go on.

Fire Agate - Toby makes the decision to be trolled like Jim so his new extended family won’t have to see him age and wither as a human. Comes with feels, so many many feels.

Whispers Within - Did you want a slice of life fic with a gay Uhl who gets a monster boyfriend? Well even if you didn’t you can have one anyway as it is DELIGHTFUL. The school actually has more staff, there’s a toilet garden, family drama and such damn good LGBT+ rep! 

Text Ya Later, Trollhunter - A text/group chat fic that tangented due to what we knew at the time into utter delightful chaos. “I see you smiling through ur window u tiny fiend!” has yet to stop being hilarious and I recommend this fic if you just want sheer silliness that led me to binging the entire thing until about 2am.

The Time That Is Given To Us - Please heed the summary and warnings of this before you read. Steve gets up, goes to school, has practice, heads off home, dies. Wakes up and it was just a bad dream right? But the deaths keep happening and along with the phantoms of his previous injuries following him as closely as his killer, he remembers everything. His only hope seems to be some little things are happening differently, slowly but sure...

~~

The self indulgent section

Listen it’s the second recc post, I think it’s now socially acceptable to plug my own two fics way way down here :p

Masks We Wear, Lies We Share - Strickler centric and set before the days Jim Lake Jr. was one of his students we follow the grand ups, downs and general craziness of being a changeling in a human world balancing two lives and the existence of your brethren on the same knife. Then one day you get a goblin making a nest in your hidden office as this is your life now. Contains Ocs that deserve good things, Nomura glad to be back in a warmer climate and soon to come, Otto relating a worrisome auction house incident

It can deal with uncomfortable themes, warnings can be found in the chapter summary when relevant.

-

Ghosts he left behind (Ghost!AU) - After “A House Divided”, we saw Jim manage to stumble home newly changed in the dead of night before collapsing moments after breaking the threshold. However, what if he never made it home after crawling out the waters that changed him?

First chapter follows Jim only, second chapter (To come) follows the rest of Team Trollhunters as they desperately try to figure out what happened to Jim and in turn find the boy who is succumbing to an increasingly distraught state alone. Second chapter also contains Stricklake because I can.

Please remember to check the tags.

[fromzerotoeuphoria]

my feelings on rinharu & makoharu

So as I said in my last post, I wanted to make a separate post adding my own commentary on this response thread made by @melancholycheer​ @chensim​ and @thenakedbloger​ to an anon who had bashed melancholycheer for shipping RinHaru. They end up saying (almost) exactly how I feel about both RinHaru and MakoHaru, and I was just applauding them along as I was reading their post!

Their reasons for not shipping MakoHaru are pretty much mine as well, and their viewpoint on how both friendships are valid are the same as mine, too. Yes, OP hates MakoHaru as a ship, but OP also respects and cares for ALL three characters, and they also respect how others may have a different ship than they do, and that’s pretty much how I view it, too (even if the ship doesn’t make sense to me) (as long as people are respectful back).

I wanted to share this convo because so many of the points made are exactly how I feel, from why RinHaru is such a dynamic ship to how I only can see MakoHaru as best friends/brothers. The things said are just 💯.

MakoHaru isn’t canon. Neither is RinHaru. Fighting about it, or acting like your ship is superior, is not only rude, but also pointless.

EXACTLY. Neither ship is canon romantically. You know what is canon? The special friendship Haru has with his best friend Makoto and the uniquely special friendship Haru has with Rin. Does he love and care for both of his friends? YES HE FREAKIN DOES.

The directors and writers purposefully give service to each pairing to attract and keep viewers and customers.

Hate to tell ya, but MakoHaru isn’t canon and it never will be. They’ve already invested too much into both ships; if they set one in stone they’d lose a lot of fans. They won’t do that. 

People need to think—there's no way the creators are going to have an entire show based on the relationship between two characters who are driven by each other and are specially connected to one another, then boldly push fan service between them just to suddenly cut off a huge portion of their fandom by officially, "canonly" pairing one side of that relationship (Haru) with a totally different character (Makoto). Same goes for the fanservice they've been pushing between the Main Character (Haru) and his best friend (Makoto)—they wouldn't do the reverse (RinHaru) and cut off the other huge portion of the fandom like that, either (at least, not while the show is still has future seasons and is profitable).

Though I believe RinHaru is the closest Haru-ship to canon, KyoAni hasn’t made any romantic ship canon yet, and as this isn’t a BL anime, I doubt they ever will.

I don’t like MakoHaru. I have tried, tbh. I’ve read essays supporting makoharu and gone into the tag and looked at fanart and it all felt so weird. I can’t see them as more than friends. They have such a precious, special friendship and making them into anything more just cheapens it for me personally. It just feels…gross. i don’t mean that in an offensive way; i just can’t ship it… I can’t see them as more than friends. I just can’t.

...but honestly just watching the series, Makoto and Haru were just friends, in my opinion. Yeah, they got fan service, but even that seemed like just what it was: fan service. It seemed out of place to me. And more than that, even the fan service didn’t convince me that there was something between them. I’m not saying there’s not; don’t get mad lol, I’m just saying that for me personally I don’t see anything.

Literally exactly how I feel about Makoto and Haru's friendship. Yes, FRIENDSHIP. Makoto cares so much about Haru in a deeply loving way—it's obvious to everyone just how much Haru means to Makoto. And those who know Haru enough can also tell that Makoto means so much to Haru (S02E11 alone is proof). Makoto is such a sweet, soft-hearted, caring guy and the friendship between him and Haru is truly something special.

But okay, in all honestly and as much as Makoto is my big-lil squish, MakoHaru seems just a bit...unbalanced, like Makoto is more concerned for Haru than Haru is concerned for him. Not that Haru doesn't care deeply for Makoto because he does—it just seems like Makoto cares more because he's very demonstrative about it while Haru's personality doesn't show his emotions or feelings often. I'm very fair with that; it doesn't mean that their friendship is in any way one-sided. They just have different personalities. But in all honestly it rather comes across like Makoto has a one-sided crush on Haru (while Haru has a reciprocated crush on Rin)—that’s where the “imbalance” comes in.

That’s a huge reason why I just don't see their relationship as anything other than a close friendship (with Makoto more than likely having a crush on Haru...OR his super caring Type 2 personality could misconstrue his rock-solid love and support for his friend as a crush. That’s very possible, too). Like honestly, there’s nothing remotely passionate about their friendship with one another, nothing that would suggest they both have deeper feelings than brotherhood for one another (again, Makoto does suggest this because boy cares so strongly, ngl it be borderline smothering—but then again he does just have a soft boi personality—but Haru definitely doesn’t suggest this, not with Makoto. With Rin, however...👀).

I mean, even Will and Jem from The Infernal Devices had a more emo-dynamic-passionate brotherhood/friendship than Makoto and Haru do, and Will and Jem were in love with the same girl, not with each other. So people trying to convince others that MakoHaru is a legitimate, canon romantic OTP endgame are just...I just cannot fathom that realistically happening.

RinHaru, on the other hand, has so much passion and rawness and depth. [...] And I know some people feel that way about MakoHaru, and that’s fine, but personally, Makoto and Haruka are just best friends, but when it comes to Rin and Haru’s relationship, there’s something more urgent and pressing and desperate.

THIS! Omg thisssss x10000. URGENT. PRESSING. DESPERATE. You feel this from not only Rin, but from Haru as well. This is HUGE: here you have a kid who’s disinterested in almost everything aside from swimming, a kid who rarely expresses his emotions and runs away from things he finds “troublesome.” He relies on Makoto to handle things for him when he doesn’t feel like bothering, and at the beginning of the anime, he couldn’t wait for time to hurry up and pass so he could become “ordinary.” And I hate to point this out, but that was Haru with Makoto in his life (again, no hate towards Makoto, it doesn’t say anything about Makoto as a character, just about Haru’s feelings towards Makoto). Yet when Rin enters into Haru’s life, the apathetic, rarely-expresses-emotions kid becomes urgent, pressing, desperate to have Rin back into his life no matter how little it is.

(this got longer than I anticipated—I could talk about Haru x Rin ‘til the stars died out, for real—so I’ll put the rest under a cut)

“Well, of course you’d say that, you bias Rin!!” you may say. But see, here's the thing: I wasn't even a big fan of Rin when I was first watching the series (except for shota!Rin because I fell in love with him instantly lol). High school-Rin annoyed me with how unnecessarily rude he was to Haru and the others, and I was Team Iwatobi for a good part of Season 1. If anything, I wanted to see Rin get all emotional about and care for the other guys. I wanted to see this red-haired jerk show emotions I knew he had deep down for my guys. But then, the more I saw the dynamics between Rina and Haru play out, the more the rawness between them and that fire when they interacted with each other drew me in. I came to care about Rin the more Haru was confronted with the feelings he had towards Rin. And when Haru bolted to find Rin after Rin failed his race in S01E12, that desperation emanating from Haru—and this is HARU we're talking about, the guy who rarely shows any emotion—made me just as desperate as Haru was for him to find Rin, to make sure Rin was okay.

The dynamic between Rin and Haru is just something totally different. It's just as one of the OPs said: urgent and pressing and desperate.

Another thing about Rin is that he was barely even in Haru's life and yet he left SUCH a huge impact on it. Rin probably spent half a semester of elementary school with Haru and the boys, yet in those few months he managed to touch something so deep in Haru that our independent, aloof and inexpressive Haru...

1) started running home from swim practice because Rin did

2) went against his own policy of only swimming free because Rin got him to

3) became so saddened that Rin moved overseas that everyone around him noticed (and it was one of the first things Kisumi mentioned when he ran into Haru in high school after all those years)

4) would fall apart when swimming freestyle in a team relay because Rin wasn't part of the team,

5) had Rin always lingering in his mind all throughout middle school,

6) said that he wanted "to swim like you too, Rin" after reading Rin's letter from Australia,

7) quit competitive swimming altogether because he thought he had hurt Rin by winning the race against him that one winter break,

8) was so rattled when Rin said that he never was going to swim with him again after Rin beat him in the freestyle race at one of the tournaments that he went into a trance-like state,

9) basically collapsed after hearing Rin say that he was quitting swimming,

10) was actually on the verge of CRYING after hearing Rin say that because Haru was heartbroken at the thought that he wouldn't ever swim with Rin again

11) said that all he wanted to do was to swim with Rin when Rei asked him what he wanted

and lots more. AND THAT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF A BOY WHO WAS IN HIS LIFE FOR LIKE THREE MONTHS MAX IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

There's no way anyone can tell me RinHaru isn't a powerful, uniquely special relationship that legitimately dances in the realm of the non-platonic. No other relationship in Free! compares to the dynamic of their friendship, to the complexity of their relationship.† They're not the closest friends—Makoto is Haru's best friend and Sousuke is Rin's—but they need each other. Are driven by each other. Are lowkey consumed by one another.

If you read my initial reaction to watching Free!, you’ll know that I knew nothing of this anime before going into it. I also actually thought I wouldn’t fall for the characters (I was too hung up on my Haikyuu!! babies), nor would even really be into it. I went into this whole thing so unbiased and knowing absolutely nothing of the anime or the characters or the ships or that there was even a fandom. I knew NOTHING, so everything I experienced was on my own and for myself. I didn't care for Rin in the beginning, but Haru's complex relationship with Rin sucked me in and was the very reason why I even binged the last 9 episodes in one night; I was so enthralled by RinHaru, and I didn't even realize it until ep12 when Haru ran after Rin like that. There's just something so special and intense about the relationship between RinHaru that it will forever be my ult OTP in the Free! universe.

I actually read a comment on a forum that touched on how Rin was in Haru's life for a fleeting moment yet left such a huge and deep mark in his life and psyche, and I was so happy someone else noticed that. I saved it somewhere, and I'll paste it below because it too sums up so well my thoughts on the dynamic relationship that is RinHaru:

RinHaru 100%...They have such a deep and real chemistry I don't even know where to begin. I could talk for hours about them, but lets keep this short and sweet. Haruka and Rin met in the last year of elementary school (roughly 12) for only (about) the last 3 months of the school year. In those 3 months they managed to create a bond so strong that Haruka never forgot about the red-haired shark-toothed boy in all the years to pass. Rin had such a strong pull on Haruka that when they met in middle school and raced against each other, Haruka quit swimming competitively just because he thought he hurt Rin. Now in high school, Haruka still wants to remember the sight Rin had showed him, and still cares about him just as deeply as his other friends. With Rin he had only been with him for a mere 3 months and managed to create such a deep bond with him, whereas with Makoto he was with him for basically his whole life. While I am in no way discrediting MH, Rinharu managed to create still as strong a bond as they did in such a short period of time. The way they admire each other and strive to be better because of each other just... // too perfect to describe. It's a beautiful dynamic, not abusive in any way as some haters call them. Their relationship focuses on growth, passion, and inspiration, always being able to light a fire in each other, always the person to spur them on and make them go just a little farther. A truly spectacular dynamic, Rinharu will always be my second favorite ship.

Modified by Baki-san, Feb 28, 2018 11:23 AM

With that being said, I honestly don’t care who you ship. Yeah, there are ships I utterly hate (*cough* Rintori *cough*), but in the end the beauty of shipping is that anyone can ship anyone. What frustrates me and pisses me off is when RinHaru—the Haru ship that’s closest to canon because their feelings for each other are actually reciprocated—is not only attempted to be discredited, but Rin is accused of all sorts of heinous things (like being abusive) just so people can fluff up their own ship. But that’s a different post; for now, this is why I ship RinHaru and they’ll forever be my Free! OTP <3

† this post was written for my original blog on July 27, 2020 before I’d watched Season 3. So, pre-drama-with-Ikuya and Hiyori’s-obsession-with-Ikuya. Those are some pretty complex relationships, too

[destiel-joshler69]

Alright I'm doing it again I guess... Just finished tua season 2 and here are my thoughts. Gonna break it down by characters probably. Spoilers Warning now!!!

1. Luther- didn't like him last season didn't get any better this season. He always looks so confused and worried and he just gets on my nerves plain and simple. Plus his sister crush is weird...ugh. I feel like he didn't really a purpose but being disproportionate.

2. Diego- yeah so I actually really liked Diego the first season the hero complex was always there but he was really annoying about it with this one. I kept waiting for him to like do something great and save the day but nay. However the bullet thing was pretty cool I will admit. It made me very sad when Reginald was hella mean to him and triggered his stutter. I think they made worried about the wrong things like lila(not a fan but I'll get into that later) also wth why was there no klaus and diego interactions no ma'am I was waiting for that.

3. Allison- liked her a whole lot better and I think it's because of ray they were great. I feel like she really put herself into the 60s and was making a difference I really liked that. The whole staring at the moon bit had me worried but I think ray helped her get over that weird affliction she had...ugh. Lowkey not too much to say on her I feel she was okay I guess.

4. Klaus- as always a joy a pleasure. He will always be my fav. Him being a cult leader made so much sense and I would totally join tf. Anyways yeah the dave thing I'm upset about cause I really wished he had gotten through to him and joined his cult lowkey. But of course they don't want klaus to be happy they have to break his sobriety whyyyy. Speaking of not giving klaus a break I was very shook to say the least when ben died frfr who's gonna be klaus's moral compass and then that flashback😭

5. Five- five was five. I didn't really like him last season but this season he was ok I guess. Idk when I'm watching a show I kinda see the actor's and not the characters and adian is just an interesting fella so it distracted me. Like this is a weird nitpick but the whole time he was doing this weird walk thing that was bothering me then I thought about I was like oh yeah he's old but then old man him showed up and did not walk like that at all I was confused why he made that choice idk he was alright tho

6. Ben- ben's always great of course. I really wanted him to be with jill but in a normal way ya know. However him dying was very unnecessary for him to be alive at the end looking all emo cause they screwed up the tl. Like fr why did he look like that I giggled a bit

7. Vanya- to me vanya is a very bland character more so in season 1 though. She definitely got better with the help of sissy. This relationship felt more natural than that mess from season 1 even though she's married. Umm the whole idk who I am thing was kind of drawn out but I guess. I'm really just glad her power still worked and it wasn't no hulk in infinity war situation. She was also tolerable.

Non siblings:

Harlan- LOVED HIM. This might sound stupid but I've always loved the silent types like ferb from phineas and ferb was my fav. He was great I think the actor did such a good job portraying such emotion and not even talking. Theory alert: The end where he still has his power has to be in connection to the Sparrow Academy I feel it.

Reg- WTF...that's all

Lila- the goddamn bang omggg she was not likeable I'm sorry. Not a fan end of story.

Pogo- very cute. I got really sad when he almost died in space but the saved him whew I was waiting on him to say his first word but they left that out for some reason.

Swedish Bros- I felt sooooo bad for the last one he really had to kill his brother with his bare hands..cold

Elliot- actually I take back my previous statement f them they took my man elliot for no reason dawg. He was so sweet and helpful but I knew it was coming cause they can never let those kind of people live on Netflix (yeah I'm looking at you Stranger Things)

Herb- another great one I'm glad he didn't die instead a promotion a whole king he deserved it.

Overall though I liked it at times it seemed kinda slow I felt like they had no urgency at all even though they were in danger which was kind of irritating. The Reginald reveal and the end was kind of random I don't read the comics so idk but I was like huh. But it makes sense at least for the tl to be freaked they were telling all kind of info. I almost like I was expecting something completely different but it was still good. Definitely liked the first one more though. Robert Sheehan is everything so yeah.

[ddixons-angel]

Fated: Season 3

Summary: Gloria Rhee narrowly escapes Atlanta with her brother as the outbreak reaches the city. Luckily, they find a camp outside the city and together, they fend through encounters with the living and undead.

Starts a little before Season 1 and then follows the main storyline of the show.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Glenn Sister!OC

Warnings: major TWD spoilers, language, violence (the typical TWD stuff)

A/N: Friday is here~ And with that, you guys get another chapter!! I do have a feeling though, not a lot of you are gonna like what happens but hey, we kinda knew this was coming... right? you’ll see what I mean haha please don’t hate me!

Chapter 6

Rick had come back to the group’s main area to check up on Carl, Glenn had told him that he and Maggie were going on a run for more supplies and formula for the baby. Daryl lets him know that he’s going to clear the other side of the prison. Once he’s all filled in on the situation, Rick goes back to the dark corridors to continue clearing off his side of the prison. After sending Glenn and Maggie off on their run, Gloria wanders around the prison, checking outside the perimeter, making sure the fences are secure. When she comes back she sees Carl, Oscar and Rick back in the main area but still no sign of Daryl. 

“Daryl’s still in the corridors, he got worked up when we found Carol’s knife.” Carl says as if reading her mind, “I think he’s gonna need some time alone.”

Gloria sighs but nods, “Thanks, buddy.” 

She pats his shoulder then goes to the cell block to check on Beth and the baby, seeing if they need any assistance. 

“We’re going to be out of formula soon if she keeps eating the way she does.” Beth informs her.

“She must have Carl’s appetite.” Gloria chuckles, making Beth laugh lightly.

Shuffling footsteps emit from the back hall and draw Gloria’s attention away from Beth and the baby. Wary of the sounds, she puts her hand on one of her daggers as she walks slowly towards the entrance of the back hallway. Daryl emerges from the entrance carrying a weak but alive Carol. Gloria’s eyes well up with happy tears at the sight of her. Daryl carries her to one of the cell blocks as Gloria follows them. Carol sits down on the bed and leans on the wall. Gloria immediately goes to her side to check up on her as Daryl steps back, giving them space. 

“I’m so glad you’re alive.” Gloria tells her, a smile on her face as tears stream down her face, “you must be dehydrated, I’ll be right back.”

Carol smiles weakly at her and nods, then Gloria runs out to get Carol a bottle of water. On her way out, she sees that Rick had brought in a stranger with a katana laying on the floor. She decides not to pry as Carol is her first priority and she knows that whatever the situation is, Rick can handle it. 

“Hey Rick, you’re gonna wanna see this.” Daryl calls out from the cell block.

Gloria rushes back to the cell, opening the bottle of water and handing it to Carol. She takes it generously, parching her dry lips. Rick and Hershel come by the cell and relief is written all over their faces when they see Carol is alive. They both take turns hugging her, smiling and with tears in their eyes. Carol then looks at Beth who’s holding the newborn baby and a realization hits her. 

“I’m so sorry...” Carol says as she looks at Rick. 

“Yeah...” Rick sighs, then walks out of the cell. 

Daryl and Hershel follow him out to the main area while Gloria stays with Carol. She removes the scarf that’s wrapped around her right hand and hands it to Carol. 

“This belongs to you.” Gloria smiles softly, “you must be starving, I made some oatmeal earlier but you’re going to have to bear with it, I’m nowhere as good a cook as you.”

Carol chuckles and shakes her head, “that sounds lovely.” 

She smiles then heads back out to the main area towards the kitchen. Gloria grabs a bowl and a spoon for Carol then she’s about to scoop up some oatmeal into the bowl.

“The supplies were dropped by a young Asian guy with a pretty girl.” the stranger with a katana said, her words making Gloria freeze. 

“What happened to them? Were they attacked?” Rick asks.

“Not attacked. Taken. Taken by the same asshole who shot me.” she tells them.

“Those are our people. You tell me where they took them, now!” Rick yells in her face. 

She looks up at him, not backing down, “find them yourself.”

“Hey,” Gloria calls over to the stranger, Hershel, Daryl, Rick, and the stranger turn to look at her as she walks towards them, “you have to tell us where we can find them.”

“Why should I?” she looks at her warily.

“That young Asian guy, his name is Glenn. He’s my brother. And that pretty girl? Her name is Maggie, she’s his daughter.” Gloria gestures over to Hershel, “They’re our family, our blood. We’ll get them ourselves, just please, tell us where they are. I’ll get on my knees and beg you if I have to, please!”

The stranger has a thoughtful look on her face, as if contemplating her words and then finally gives in, “There’s a town called Woodbury, run by this asshole guy who calls himself the Governor. Military commander wannabe. I’m sure they got taken there.”

“How did you know to find this place?” Rick asks, crouching down to the stranger’s level.

“Overheard them mentioning a prison.” she says simply.

Rick turns around and looks up at Gloria who nods at him before she turns around to head back to the cell block, “Gloria will take care of your wound, she’s a nurse.”

“Was.” Gloria calls out as she walks to the cell blocks, then gets her newly put together first aid kit from her cell that she now just used as a storage room. 

Before heading back out to the main area, she asked Beth to get Carol some food as she would be busy helping the stranger outside. 

The stranger did not resist much as Gloria patches her up and the group starts to prepare for their mission to rescue Maggie and Glenn, loading up their cars with weapons and other supplies just in case. As Gloria puts a box into the trunk of the car, she’s about to walk away to get more supplies when Daryl grabs her arm and gently pulls her to the side. 

“Ya should stay back here.” he tells her quietly. 

Gloria frowns at him, “how can you tell me to stay here, we have to go get Glenn and Maggie!”

“And we will, but I need ya here. Carl’s a kid an’ Carol’s still weak, I ain’ countin’ on Axel to keep everyone safe.” Daryl reasons.

Seeing his point, Gloria sighs and nods, “you better bring them back, Daryl Dixon.”

Daryl smirks at her then nods, “I will.” he takes her hand and holds it up to his lips, kissing it gently before turning to head to the car.

The ones left behind watch as their rescue team drives away. Axel is manning the gate, opening and closing it as the car passes. Carol puts her hand on Gloria’s shoulder, understanding her worry. 

“They’ll be fine, they’ll be back before we know it.” she says, trying to comfort her friend. 

Gloria smiles softly and nods, “yeah, they will be.”

---

Hershel, Beth, Carl, and Gloria were back in the cell block waiting for the others. Carol and Axel were on watch. Gloria had tried to convince Carol to come inside to rest but she was insistent on wanting to do something for the group after being gone for so long. She knew it was a losing battle to argue with Carol when she had already made up her mind, so Gloria agreed but forced Axel to stay out there to keep watch with her. Hours pass as Carl and Gloria are sitting on the steps when they all hear a scream coming from one of the halls of the prison.

“What was that?” Beth asks, worry on her face.

“Was that Carol?!” Carl wondered aloud.

“No, she’s still out on watch.” Gloria says as she gets up, she looks at Carl, “Carl, you stay here and watch over your sister, Beth and Hershel. And lock the gate!”

Without saying anything else, she runs off to check the corridors the scream had emitted from. Flashlight in hand, she goes through the dark halls, following the screams to find a group fighting for their lives in one of the abandoned rooms. Seeing they’re struggling with the walkers, Gloria rushes up to them and stabs one of the walkers in the back of the head, letting it fall to the ground. The new group look at her in surprise. 

“Come on, we gotta get out of here, move!” Gloria shouts at them and leads them back to the main area. 

Ushering them through the door to the main area, she closes and locks the door to that corridor to prevent any walkers from coming in. The new group was frantic, one of their people, a woman, was already bit and they had laid her on the ground. Carl comes running out from the cell block.

“What happened?!” he asks, surveying the scene. 

“Found them getting attacked in the boiler room.” Gloria tells him. 

The man kneeling by the side of the bit woman’s body was crying heavily, she had seemingly died from the bite. Seeing this, Carl takes out his gun with a silencer attached from his belt and aims it at the head of the woman.

“Woah woah, kid!” the larger man of the group pulls him back, looking at him as if he were crazy.

“I have to do it before she turns!” Carl argues.

“We can handle our own.” the large man says, making Carl back down.

Gloria takes Carl’s hand and pulls him away from the group as the larger man takes a hammer from a younger boy in the back. 

“You gotta let them take care of their own, she’s one of theirs, not ours.” Gloria whispers to him and he nods. 

She ushers him back into the cell block as the new group put down the woman with a hammer. Carl shuts the gate and locks it, preventing the new group from coming into their block. 

“Hey... hey! What are you doing? You can’t just leave us out here!” a woman from the new group calls out as she walks up to the gate. 

“You’re safe where you are, you have food and water.” Carl tells her, standing his ground.

“Open the door!” she yells at him, hitting the gate. 

Gloria lets out a frustrated sigh and goes up to the gate, “you’re safe there. We don’t even know you people and yet I still saved you. We aren’t going to let strangers into our home, we’ve lost enough already by trusting the wrong ones.”

The larger man from before comes up from behind the woman and pulls her away, “Sasha, enough, let them be.”

“You don’t know that you can’t trust us!” Sasha pleads. 

“You don’t know that you can trust us.” Gloria says then turns around to go up the stairs when she hears Sasha banging on the gate again.

“Let us in!” she shouts.

Gloria turns to glare at Sasha, “You listen here, we’re already doing you and your group a huge favor by letting you in these walls, giving you food and water, but you try anything, anything at all and I will lock you back where you came from with nothing, do I make myself clear?!”

The larger man pulls Sasha away again as they both waiver at her threat, “Yes, ma’am, we’re sorry.” 

---

“What the hell is he doing here?!” Glenn shouts, fuming once he sees that Merle is with Rick, Daryl, and Michonne, the stranger with the katana; he points his gun at Merle, heaving.

“Woah woah, Glenn, just calm down. We can figure this out.” Rick says holding his hands out to calm Glenn.

“Figure out- what is there to figure out?! We’re not bringing him back with us!” Glenn shouts, his face turning red. 

“The hell ya mean, he was originally one o’ us! Ya forgettin’ Gloria brought both o’ us back?” Daryl defends, Merle is his brother after all. 

“Oh yeah! Gloria, how’s she doin’? Still gotta repay her for stayin’ wit’ me up on that roof that ya’ll deadasses left me on!” Merle drawls out, cackling.

“You are not going anywhere near her!” Glenn angrily lunges towards Merle but Daryl catches him, holding him back. 

“Ha! Like ya can stop me! That girl deserves some lovin’, while the rest o’ ya’ll damn left me for dead! Ya deserve what I did to ya! Damn ass T-Dog deserved what he got too! Leavin’ me up there, and don’ let me forget about-” Merle was cut off as Rick knocks him out with the back of his gun.

“Asshole.” Rick mutters as he walks away from Merle’s unconscious body. 

Maggie, Rick, Glenn and Daryl are gathered by the car as they discuss what to do with Merle. Glenn is not giving up as he is very against taking him back after Merle had almost killed him. Daryl is torn but in the end, he makes his final decision. 

“If he’s out, I’m out.” Daryl announces, “‘sides it’s always been just him and I out there ‘fore all this.”

“Daryl, you know you’re a part of this family.” Rick tries to convince him.

“Yeah, but like ya said, he ain’t. And I ain’t leavin’ him, already did that once.” he says as he makes his way to the car with his things. 

Glenn sighs deeply then follows Daryl to the car, “what about Gloria?”

Daryl stops in his tracks at the mention of her name, “what about her...”

“You’re just gonna leave her behind? She loves you, you know that?” Glenn informs him, he wanted to prevent him from leaving, he knew that if Daryl left it would break Gloria’s heart.

Daryl glances behind him, “she said that?”

“She did, a while ago.” Glenn says, hoping that would change his mind. 

He glances at Merle then back at Glenn, “she’ll get it. Take good care o’ her,” he says then continues walking to the car. 

---

Back at the prison, Carol was on guard duty while the others were in the main area outside Cell Block C. Carl was sitting on top of one of the tables watching over Sasha’s group while Gloria was seated on the seats at one of the tables to control the situation if needed. The sound of the door opening draws their attention away from whatever they were doing and a beat up looking Glenn walks in. 

“Glenn?!” Gloria gets up quickly when she sees his face, rushing to him, “the hell happened?”

She follows him into the cell block and goes up to her cell to get her first aid kit then rushes back down to Glenn and Maggie’s shared cell. Gloria sits beside him as she patches up her brother, they don’t speak and Gloria decides not to pester him on it either. Maggie comes to the cell shortly after, watching by the door of the cell quietly. There’s a silence within the cell and Gloria glances between Maggie and Glenn. 

She packs up the kit and closes it, “I’ll leave you two to rest up, you’re probably exhausted.”

Gloria gets up from the bed and is about to walk out of the cell when Glenn reaches up and grabs her arm, stopping her. Confused, she looks back at him with an eyebrow raised. Glenn looks at her reluctantly and sighs.

“Daryl’s gone.” Glenn says simply.

She blinks at him, ‘gone’ in this new world of theirs can mean a lot of things, “what do you mean he’s gone? Is he... is he dead?”

Glenn shakes his head, “he’s alive, but he’s not coming back.” 

“He left with his brother.” Maggie tells her, feeling bad that they have to break the news to her.

“Merle? You guys found Merle?” Gloria looks at Glenn who nods, “well that’s great, why didn’t he just come back with you?”

“Because we didn’t want him to.” Maggie says, pursing her lips together.

“Merle used to be one of us, why wouldn’t you-” Gloria gets cut off by Glenn.

“Because he’s the one who did this to me!” Glenn snaps, “he’s the one who took us and brought Maggie to the damn Governor to terrorize her!” 

Glenn was seething in anger at the memory, he didn’t mean to snap at Gloria since she had no idea but he couldn’t help it; his little sister was defending their abductor and calling him one of them. Gloria’s face softens when she hears Glenn’s words, understanding why they wouldn’t want Merle with them. Tears well up in her eyes when the realization that Daryl left hit her. He left her without even saying goodbye. He chose Merle without a second thought and just left. 

“Gloria...” Glenn sighs as he sees her expression but she storms out of the cell before he can say anything else. 

She runs out of the cell block and out of the prison building altogether, making her way up the watch platform. Gloria lets herself fall to the ground, allowing the tears to fall as she cries about the man who left her without a single word.

---

Next Chapter

So, we got a cute moment between Daryl and Gloria before he left to go with Merle.. we all saw that coming though... right?? :D it gets better from here though, I swear!! Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter~! I know it didn’t end on a good note, but please let me know what you thought! I’d love to hear it :D

I hope everyone stays safe and healthy, please don’t panic, we will get through this!

And as always, I would really appreciate any comments left for me! I’ll be replying to any comments in a new post because this is a sideblog!

Taglist (please let me know if you’d list to be added/removed!):

@twdeadfanfic​ | @fandomfanatic97​ | @crossbowking​ | @watchmeaspire​ | @spidergirla5​ | @kamieshep​ | @letsstarsfalling​ | @molethemollie​ | @alicewinchester99​ | @neilox​ | @womanup22​

[sid471]

Fate: Winx the Saga from someone who didn’t watch Winx Club

My friend made an actually GOOD post about this as someone who IS just a massive dork about Winx Club. So for a fans perspective here ya go :3 https://alric-usami.tumblr.com/post/641430679160340480/in-defense-of-fate-the-winx-saga show’im some love :3 Also unlike my friend this isn’t spoiler free. So, if you haven’t seen Fate and wanna give it a shot don’t read under the cut and if you didn’t watch Fate and you read it anyway... don’t get mad at me <_<

Now, if you’re still here, you’ve decided you don’t care about spoilers, you’ve seen the show, or haven’t seen the show and you’re stubborn <_<. Regardless, time for an opinion that doesn’t matter 😊. 

I watched all 6 episodes and gotta say that I... Actually really enjoyed it :3. I understand the complaints, the lack of diversity... kinda sucks. It’s 2021 c’mon now >_> but everything else I liked watching 😗 Though I DO wish Bloom being a Changeling was revealed later. Rather than... ya know.... the first episode. That being said, DID really like when she called her mom and dad the second time. It was a sweet moment ☺️. I’ll get more into that later :3

Now, let’s get into the nitty gritty shall we? :3

I didn’t have any expectations going in. I hadn’t seen Winx and all I knew about it, even as I write this, I got from the above mentioned friend. I knew nothing is my point lol. So, looking at it as a show rather than an adaptation, I REALLY enjoyed it. It had nice visuals, acting was solid all round, music was a little cliche at times but I still liked it 😗

SO as previously mentioned, Bloom is a changeling. And also like I said I wish that revelation had been made a little later, but I also like how the season went over all so... Hmm... Conflicted. Bloom’s turmoil after finding out the truth, I thought, was handled very well. I’m sure some people would say she like... was bitchy and closed off. Which she was 🤷🏻‍♂️ But fuckin... She’s 16 .-. Of course she’s gonna lash out >_> And also even if she WASN’T 16... She’s still finding out the people who raised her aren’t really her parents ._. Anyway, speaking of her parents, we don’t know her parents well, but I still liked them ^_^ They had a pretty good amount of sweet moments with Bloom. Like the aforementioned 2nd call scene. The one where she went back to her house and watched them? It was a very sweet talk and I loved it 🙂. Verdict: Bloom, and her parents, good 😗 :3

 Aisha, loved her and how her friendship with Bloom went ^_^. They had their rough spots, but at the end of the day they were still by each other’s side. And that’s what friendship’s about :3 Having their back even when you disagree with them 🙂 And even WHEN Bloom was being standoffish and secretive, Aisha made the effort to say “Hey. You can talk to me about anything. You know that right?” And you can tell it’s heartfelt and just ;-; ya know? :3 Though, admittedly, was a little iffy when she snitched to Farah but it worked out 😗. ALSO! Her protecting Bloom while she transformed? First of all, amazing sequence 😁 Second of all, that scene showed that even if Bloom is being reckless and, well, a main character lol, Aisha will have her back. And if you don’t have a best friend who’ll support you even when you’re acting like a Fantasy Main Character, what’s the point >_> Also side note, I LOVED that transformation sequence so much? I really like how they did it. I like that it didn’t... well... feel like a cartoon. Because like this ISN’T a cartoon. An over the top transformation LIKE an animation woulda been outta place and weird .-. Anyway, Verdict: We stan Aisha here :3

Terra. Oh Terra I just... Adore her ☺️ she’s so so so cute and sweet ^_^ She doesn’t deserve how Dane treated her >_> I’ll get to Dane in a little bit. But yeah Terra is just adorable. How can you NOT like her? She’s an adorable bad ass. Who doesn’t love an adorable bad ass :3 Verdict: Terra gets a million hugs from me :3

Stella. I’m not gonna lie, I was fully ready for Stella to be a stereotypical mean girl and was disappointed when it looked like that was the route they were going. But then they gave Stella ✨depth✨. Which we love to see ^_^. Stella surprised me with how much I ended up liking her. Stella was taught that negative emotions are all that matter in magic, which obviously isn’t true, but her mother is an arrogant bitch who only sees power >_> When Stella was telling Musa the story of how she blinded Ricki, she said that it was an accident and she didn’t mean to, but her mother thought it was better for her if everyone thought it was on purpose. Because “At least if it was on purpose, I wasn’t weak.”. So Queen Luna sucks <_< Which I know isn’t the case in the cartoon but in this she does. I actually like that they SHOWED that kind of strained relationship.

I saw it as kind of a foil to Bloom’s relationship with HER mother. Bloom and her mom had a somewhat negative relationship too, because Bloom wanted to stay inside and was pretty reclusive, mood, which her mom didn’t like so she tried to force her to go out. But the difference between Vanessa and Luna is that Vanessa DOES care about Bloom and listened to her. Luna, even when Stella TRIED to tell her a feat she considered great, blinding the Burned One, which IS great and awesome ^_^ But the Queen still wasn’t impressed. Verdict: Stella had a rocky start, but I love her now :3.... And Queen Luna... Not so much >_> She’s a bitch and not even like... a fun bitch <_< Although the revelation that because Luna and Stella are both Light fairies they can “control what people see” was not something I considered and it was REALLY cool.

Musa! I... Kinda resonated with Musa a lot actually. I may not have empathic powers that let me feel people’s emotions, but I know what she went through with her mom. My mom is still alive, thankfully, but she could’ve died from a stroke had I not acted. It was 2 years ago now, but I still think about what could’ve happened. And it’s noooot fun >_>. Anyway, back to Musa. Musa being an empath is something I really enjoyed. Honestly, I think I’d prefer empath!Musa over sound!Musa even if the latter is closer to canon. I just think Musa is an awesome character ^_^. I also loved how she steeled herself and helped Sam with the Burned One infection. That was honestly beautifully done. She may not be the most useful in a fight, but you don’t have to fight to be a bad bitch that’s what I say 😙. Verdict: Musa is a kin character :3

Beatrix. This bitch.... I adore her she’s so FUCKING cool! I love a good villain, if you’ve stumbled across my page before you know that lol, and Beatrix ticks everything I need to be character to add to my stan list. Watching her do her thing is like... It’s art ._. She fuckin EXPERTLY goes from Farah fangirl, to diligent student, to Riven’s girl, to ruthless villain and I LOVE that! I love a villain who’s both strong and smart :3 Especially if they’re female because I like bad bitches doing bad bitch things ^_^ Verdict, if it wasn’t clear: LOVE her. Amazing. Onto the Stan List she goes :3

Dane. *sigh* Dane... Is a character I have complicated feelings for >_>. I liked him a lot at first. I liked him and Terra’s friendship they were adorable :3 But then uh... Then Riven fucked him up <_< Listen man I agree Riven is hot but he ain’t worth hurting the first friend you ever made <_> Although a Riven, Dane, Beatrix throuple situation...... Is something I could get behind 👀. Because Dane likes both Riven and Beatrix, Riven likes Beatrix, and Beatrix... Is blatantly just using them but hey better to have 2 boyfriends who’ll do whatever you want than none 😊 Verdict: ... I liked him at first, thought him and Terra would be dorky friends, but then uh.... no >_> Terra deserves better <_<

Riven. Hate’im. Hate’im, hate’im, hate’im 🙄. He may be friends with the bi Dane but he REEKS... of homophobic jock energy. Of “I’m cool if you’re gay man just don’t hit on me dude.” vibes >_> Which like... I know seems ironic considering he literally flirted with Dane. But like... I dunno he just has so much homophobic energy it just... cancels out 😶. “But you JUST said you’d be okay with a Dane, Riven, Beatrix throuple” I did. And I still stand by that. But Riven would need some work before that <_< Like... an arc of him coming to terms with himself having feelings for both Dane AND Beatrix. y’know like that. I think it’d be cool. :3 Verdict: Riven sucks, but has a little bit 🤏 of potential. Also, all that being said, I don’t think Riven is REALLY a bad dude. I just think..... He wants Beatrix’s puss a little too much <_<

Sky. Sky... Is... Fine. He’s a fine character. I didn’t really feel a LOT for him. I just thought of him as Bloom’s love interest and like that’s it. Don’t get me wrong, he had some sad moments and I felt for him in those moments. But overall... Sky was just... fine. Verdict: He’s okay. I don’t really have a lotta feelings about him though.

Headmistress Farah Dowling. PHEW my feelings toward Farah... were a bit of a rollercoaster. I liked her, then I didn’t, then I was suspicious of her, then I liked her again, then she got her neck snapped.... soooo. But, that being said, I DO like Farah and I hope that she’s alive somehow in Season 2 :3. I like the variety in her powers. She has water, electricity, mind, maybe even fire, we love the variety ^_^ I was gonna say diversity but that’s kind of a sensitive word here. Verdict: Farah is an old baddie. And we love to see it 😗

Headmaster Silva. He... gives me Atlesian vibes >_>... I know fans of winx won’t know what I’m talking about, unless ya also watch RWBY. But with how he kept saying to Sky like “when you’re given orders you follow them without question.”, little hypocritical huh buddy, rubbed me the wrong way <_< Especially BECAUSE, yeah, it’s a little hypocritical when he didn’t follow his orders from Rosalind. Which I would also defy her orders, but then when YOU defy orders for the greater good, don’t then spread “Follow orders no matter what >_>”. Which, okay before you say it, I KNOW that he defied orders for the sake of saving the, seemingly innocent, people of Aster Dell, and they still died. But still... Spreading the follow orders no matter what thing is just kinda... an over correction, in my opinion at least. Verdict: Silva is... Okay. I like him... enough ya know? I like’im enough to hope he comes back to Alfea.

Rosalind. Rosalind... Is a villain with a lotta potential. I like her a lot so far. She’s obviously very powerful, and she seems... to wanna help Bloom? I mean for her own selfish gain of obtaining the Dragon Fire but still... A villain who partially wants to HELP the hero, is kinda interesting 😗 Also, I like how ruthless she can be. I knew she manipulative like straight from the memory that Bloom had. I immediately was like “I don’t trust this old lady >_>” But her levitating Farah and SNAPPING her neck... Oof. Chills. Verdict: I look forward to seeing where she goes :3

Final Conclusion: Fate: Winx the Saga, purely as a show, is very good in my opinion. whether you’ve watched Winx Club or not, I suggest giving it a try and going in with an opened mind. You may even find a new favorite show :3... Okay that may be pushing it lol. But it’s very good if you like fantasy, magic, and bad ass female characters 😗

[insidious-intent]

Hey! Hope you're having a good day! 🤗 I would like to hear your thoughts on the RNM finale!

Alright! I have my morning breakfast food and beverage here, so let’s do this! Everything is under a cut because this got long. 

- This entire finale was somehow excruciatingly boring? Did anyone else feel that. There was 0 action, -1 adventure, and we didn’t even get Max cosplaying Thor level of entertainment this time.

- The first minute and a half resolves EVERY SINGLE PLOT THREAD FROM LAST WEEK. No bomb goes off, Liz saves the day, Jesse Manes is officially canceled. 

- And then immediately we jump to “a week later” and everyone is fine, no one is worried about physical injuries or how they all almost died. Liz is supposedly taking care of Maria but that can’t be seen because 2 women cannot be shown together for more than 3 seconds at a time. No one else has visited Maria? Her own mother isn’t glued to a chair in her room? Sheriff Valenti isn’t investigating any of this? ANYWAYS. But Michael is there after a week to talk about how he felt. So at least the romance is still alive. 

- So what is a guy to do after having a deeply emotional 1-on-1 with your “could have been dead” girlfriend? Why visit his ex, of course! Malex destroy the toolshed, which bless, at least we can stop talking about that one torture source. But ya know that shed had to also further the plot, skeletons and key and all. 

- Also shoutout to @frenziedblaze for noting how malex had their first time over a shallow grave. I will never unsee that. 

- Max somehow manages to have the same emotional vibes with his girlfriend and his sister. Except he only makes out with one of them. 

- Max manages to be real cute with Jenna (idk how I started supporting this brotp) and gets her to do “undercover” work for him to see what the real handsome ex-fiance wants with Liz. 

- Turns out Diego might be ready to steal Liz’s research instead of convincing her to work with him. So instead of, idk, confronting the guy, or telling Jenna to stall him, or IDK, ASKING ALEX FOR HELP, Max says “blow it all up.” The real upbeat soundtrack to Max physically destroying everything Liz worked on, was a choice. 

- Please note that ep 12 had 3 bombs, which were in play in the first minute of ep 13. And yet, the only space without a bomb (Liz’s lab) is the one that blows up. 

- Meanwhile, in Guerinland, New Mexico - Michael Guerin confesses his love to a woman he has apparently been dating for a year. Said woman ALSO reciprocates his feelings. However, Maria would like to use her powers, which now canonically will no longer make her sick, but Michael cannot sit back and watch Maria fade away (for unknown reasons). So here must the beloveds depart. Ok. 

- On the other side of the set, Michael and Alex are reading a diary written by Secretly Good Guy Tripp Manes, and for some reason Isobel Evans. Please note that Isobel Evans has used about 6 opportunities to comment on the eternal love and joy between Michael and Maria, yet for some reason she’s back on Team Malex, with 0 conversation about wtf happened. Ok. 

- Tripp Manes, much like his future descendant Alex, fell for shiny aliens with great cheekbones and full lips. Can’t blame them. Tripp talks about their connection being “cosmic” and a high pitched scream resonates from malex fandom as Michael and Alex look at each other for a single second. This is all fine. Also Jason Behr in a suit and hat is a sight to behold.

- And we find out nothing about what Nora was building in that shed, but something about the “stowaway” on their ship. Cool. 

- The best and most emotional beat of the episode was the Cameron sisters reuniting. I was sobbing during their conversation. I love them both a lot. Also here’s to Charlie being Isobel’s next love interest. 

- Aliens can’t seem to stop setting Liz’s lab on fire. This time she responds with walking away from Max, who does nothing to stop her or follow up with an apology. Cool. She ends up watching the ocean, and I gotta say I still stan Liz Ortecho. 

- Rosa Ortecho owns my whole heart. And I’m very proud of her telling her mom to screw off, and for deciding to go back to rehab. 

- SPEAKING OF HELENA ORTECHO. The woman who was supposedly scheming since episode 1, and managed to kidnap not 1 but 3 people with no problem whatsoever, was suddenly completely irrelevant again. She was mad that Jesse’s murder coverup will turn him into a hero (and I have some things to say about that considering Rosa’s murder coverup did the opposite). So instead of idk, going back to scheming with Mimi Deluca, Helena is just going to drink her troubles away. Super cool. 

- All of this leading to a beautiful yet tragically brief Kylex moment where Alex confirms that Kyle is his bff, and that Flint is ok and can be redeemed (hear hear). 

- AND THEN WE GET ALEX SINGING. lkajsdflkasdfkjahsdflkjasdlfkjasdf. I was slayed. Tyler’s voice, the face, MICHAEL AND ISOBEL COMING IN TO WATCH. IT WAS EVERYTHING I WANTED FOR MALEX. 

- So of course Michael was like, this sucks, our romance is a tragedy, I don’t even like the song, goodbye. I can’t believe this dude broke up with Alex every single episode of this season, including breaking up with Alex TO HIS DAD, while he was ‘napped.

- BUT ON THE OTHER HAND. GREGORY “LIBERTY” MANES, the bestest brother on the planet, who liberated Alex from his abuser (get it?) sat and watched Alex perform and then clapped when Alex finally made the move and bagged his tiny, blue haired nerd. It was beautiful. I may have cried. 

- FORLEX. 

- BUT WE STILL AREN’T DONE. So the full season long chanting of The Power of Three finally comes to fruition. And even though Isobel is like maybe we should do more research, her 2 bros are like it’s cool! and open the door lock thing. We find out Nora was building a prison(?) for the “stowaway” and the pod squad accidentally release him, only to realize he’s...Max Evans with a better groomed beard. I just. I-

And now we have a potential year and a half wait to see how the 82 other plot threads will be resolved (@booksmartstreetstupid has an amazing list) 

So let us all collectively turn to fanfics to help our sanity, and pray that we all return next year. 

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.16

Keith was sitting on the front steps when Lance pulled into his driveway. Their meeting for a moment, before Pidge was leaning past him

“Get in, loser! We’re going out!”

Rubbing his ear, Lance didn’t appreciate Pidge’s loud voice abusing his eardrum

“I’m fine right here!”

“Don’t be like that. We’re going ghost hunting, get in the back!”

“Lance was going to drop me in town...”

“Why? Everything’s shut now apart from the bars. Stop being antisocial and come look for ghosts with us!”

That was how Keith ended up in the boot of Lance’s bronco. Lance could feel the tension from the driver’s seat, Pidge having climbed over into the back so she and Hunk could talk with Keith, who’d barely gotten two words in thanks to the pair of them trying their best to make him feel involved. Lance had seen it on Keith’s face when he’d pulled up. Keith looking up at him like he’d kicked him to the curb without good reason. If he stopped to think about it, Keith would fill that hole in the group that his eventual leaving with bring. Plus, Keith would be there to help Matt reconnect with his family whenever that eventually happened... A whole lot of roads seemed to be leading back to Keith, and Lance couldn’t put up stop signs fast enough.

Swinging by Pidge’s so she could collect her beloved camera, Lance stared up at the visitors centre before them. He’d had enough trouble last time they were here, and though there wouldn’t be any drunks this time, he was sure his friends would find a way to make trouble all over again

“‘Sup, Losers?! This is the Garrison Trio, coming at ya with a new video. Today we’re talking another look at arguably Garrison’s most haunted address! Yep, that’s right, your favourite visitors centre, and mine, it’s the old Garrison Hospital!”

Stuck in a silent “staring but not staring” battle with Keith watching Lance out the corner of his eye, he’d missed Pidge passing her camera off to Hunk so she could film her introduction

“Tonight we have our usual favourites, Me, Hunk, and Lance, but we also have a guest tagging along to see the work we do! Pan to Keith”

Hunk moved the camera, Keith not even noticing he’d been recorded. Lance had the feeling Keith wasn’t supposed to be being recorded. Anyone who saw his face online wouldn’t be able to forget him

“Yep! Our little trio has become a foursome! The awesome foursome. Now, if you click the link below this video you’ll be able to read up on the chilling history and the role the hospital played during world war three! Let’s just say, a lot of people died in a lot of not so lovely ways. Let’s head in!”

As Pidge took the camera from Hunk, Lance took her by the arm

“You can’t film Keith”

“What?”

“You can’t film him. It’s something to do with Shiro’s work. He works on things for the government, for like big bad multimillion dollar corporations that are up to dodgy things. I totally blanked on it, but Shiro will get in trouble”

Pidge raised an eyebrow

“I didn’t know you and Shiro were that tight”

“I was taking selfies and he caught me”

The lies hurt, but Keith’s face getting out their in there videos could bring trouble on all of them, not just Keith... Any vampires with a grudge would see their faces with his and they already knew where to come...

“Oh shit...”

Lance nodded, hoping his facial features portrayed the right emotions. Hunk was the one stole the role of genius from under Pidge’s nose

“I think you’ve got a dusk mask in the glove box from that colour run we didn’t end up doing... he could wear that?”

“Perfect. You two go ahead and I’ll get it. Don’t bring it up though, he’s super socially stunted”

Pidge fluttered her eyelashes

“Is someone getting protective of their “not boyfriend, boyfriend?””

“No, but you’ll have to get protective of that camera if you don’t stop bringing that up”

Pidge’s look turned to betrayal, then acceptance

“Fiiiiine. Do what you have to do. Hunk and I will go ahead. Come on, Hunk”

Rifling through his glovebox, Lance found the branded face mask. The colour run had two components to it, first you did a 5km walk/run, then in some weird kind of sales seasonal thing, there was a kind of sideshow at the end with live music, games, and seeing it was around Halloween, a corn maze and a haunted house. They’d paid, skipped the run, covertly let themselves into the corn maze, beaten that, then hit up the haunted house. Pidge deciding they all needed souvenirs, the mask being one of them... not that it was overly spooky. It was a simple black face mask with splatters of neon paint across the front, a few “teeth” on the right side and the fun run logo underneath. It was actually kind of “Keith”. Not that he was going there.

Keith had hung back as Pidge and Hunk unlocked the visitor centre and dealt with security. Forced to do the talking thing, Lance held the mask out to Keith who eyed it

“What’s that?”

“Pidge films these things”

“And?”

“And she puts them online. I didn’t think you’d want your face out there. If anyone saw the videos then you’d have your cover blown in further missions, making it harder for you to help the people who need help. I told Pidge that Shiro did covert work for the government so you needed to keep a low profile. I’m not sure she got it, but with Matt and Shiro being tight I think she was willing to let it slide. It hasn’t been worn, and it should cover most of your face. You can use my jacket too if you want, just keep the hood up”

Keith took the mask, staring down at as he tilted his neck. Lance automatically finding his eyes trying to find where he’d bitten the man. He’d never bitten anyone before so he didn’t know the trick of healing a bite to nothing. His own marks from turning were still there for the most part. Keith’s neck was smooth, Lance unable to see any blemishes. God! What was he doing...?! Nope... Fucking Keith

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because you got dragged along by my friends deciding they’re also your friends”

“I thought you said I was a useless hunter”

“No. I said you had anger issues, like right now you’re getting angry at me. Do you want my jacket or not?”

“No. This’ll be fine. She really believes, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah. That’s probably why Matt has kept his distance. She wants to be part of this world, and I’m not about to let that happen”

“So you sabotage her?”

“No. Most of what humans collect isn’t real or it’s reflections. I come along not only to show I support her and Hunk, but so nothing happens to either of them. There’s death in that place and I don’t want something bad to happen. I also don’t plan on telling her about Matt, you, or Shiro. It’s not fun lying, but it does keep them safe. If she ever finds out the truth, I know she’s going to be angry, and I’m prepared for that. You better come along, both my friends seem pretty keen on you, meaning if you hurt them, I will hunt you down myself”

“I’m not going to harm a human”

“Good. Keep it that way”

Pidge was already explaining various exhibits in the visitor centre when Lance and Keith slipped through the front door. A shudder rolled up Lance’s spine, earning him a jab in the side from Keith. What was Keith getting annoyed about? People shuddered all the time for no good reason

“What?”

“You shuddered”

“It happens”

“Don’t fob me off like that. There’s something here, isn’t there? Where is it?”

“Oh great, so vampires and werewolves aren’t enough for you now? You want to hunt ghosts to?”

What was Keith going to do? Stab it? The mental image of Keith stabbing a ghost was too funny, a snort of laughter escaping

“Look... if there’s something...”

“Relax. Yeah, there’s death here but I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to acknowledge it’s presence”

“But you can see it?”

Lance shook his head. That’s what he had his trust glasses for

“Nope”

“You’re lying to me”

“I’m not lying. And keep your voice down, do you really want Pidge and Hunk to know about us?

Keith shot him an unimpressed look. Lance could have worded that better

“This isn’t over”

It could be, if Keith dropped the subject and kicked away like a bottle cap under the fridge that you couldn’t be bothered picking up, so it laid there undiscovered for another 6 months, when it and another dozen finally popped up to remind you how lazy you were about cleaning

“Oh, goody”

“Lance, come over here, you’re better at this side of things”

Lance rolled his eyes at Pidge. She was doing a bang up job making the visitors centre sound like the must visit spot as it was. Walking over to her, he eyed the shackles in the display case with disgust. He couldn’t really justify the shackling of mine broken soldiers, though some had to be chained down to prevent them from taking their own lives. He’d gone through a stage like that, not that anyone other than Coran knew. He’d had a mental breakdown with the stress of final exams the first time around. He knew too many answers and didn’t want to score a perfect score, that would have made him stand out too much. He aimed for above average on all his tests and exams, but sometimes he slipped up and got too perfect a score that drew everyone’s attention to him when all he wanted to do was blend in. He’d been beaten by a bunch of jealous classmates for his trouble, then broken down, taking himself to Coran who helped piece him back together again. Yeah, Coran would always be his go to guy

“Shackles...”

Letting the narrative of fear roll of his tongue, he talked about the deteriorated mental condition of the soldiers and how things worked when it came to getting them help and the legal issues faced by their families. Lance was kind of sure no one wanted to sit through this, because he was pretty sure he was the only one who nerded out over the law these days. Keith had moved to stand behind Hunk, who was filming, his arms were crossed, feet shoulder width apart, with an amused look on his face that Lance felt like punching.

“And thank you for that Lance, somehow you made all the legal stuff seem that much more boring than last time. Alrighty then, why don’t we go see if we can find us a ghost?”

Hunk was already skittering, letting out a squeak as Pidge motioned for him to follow her, leaving Lance to fall into step beside Keith. Great. He couldn’t just leave Keith in town once everything was over. Not with Hunk and Pidge on a mission to make the man their friend

“Are you usually like that?”

Lance had no idea what Keith meant. Sure, he might get a little technical, but it wouldn’t be the first time, nor the last

“Like what?”

“All technical? Doesn’t it turn viewers away? I mean, I don’t think they needed to know about the bylaws of Garrison”

“Oh, shut up. We don’t get many views as it is”

“You’ll get even less if you spend the whole time ranting”

“I wasn’t ranting, I was explaining. A soldiers mentality doesn’t end on the battlefield. Most of them never wanted to die. Most of them never wanted to wrapped up in war to begin with. They fought for us and for what they believed in, and as a whole, we failed them. If we don’t educated people on the past then there’s not much hope for the future”

“You, like, really believe in this, don’t you?”

“I believe in the belief people hold. If that’s what you mean?”

“I mean this legal thing... isn’t there anything else you’d rather be doing?”

“Like ripping families apart so I can feast on their children?”

Keith groaned at him, Lance internally smirking. Yeah, he remembered and wasn’t going to forget any time soon

“In my defence, your lot are mostly scum”

“And what about me? You listened in this morning”

“I... don’t want to talk about that”

“Why? Does it make me all that much harder to kill knowing I actually care about my clients?”

“As you rob them in fees”

Keith’s comment rubbed him the wrong way, Lance spitting in an angry whisper

“Yep. I’m so horrible that I charged a family a whole $50 for hours of my time. You on the other hand, if I charged at douche prices, would be paying me something like $10,000 for taking up so much of my damn time. I know I’m a monster, you can lay off with the damn mocking”

Starting to jog to catch up with Hunk and Pidge, Lance wanted to go home to bed. His arm was aching, as was his ankle. He hadn’t had the chance to drink since jumping out the window and his lack of routine was really getting to him. Catching up to him again, Keith decided he still wanted to talk

“Why law?”

“Why law, what?”

“You could have been anything”

“I could have, but I don’t think you’d understand”

“Try me”

“Well, I don’t want kids out there to suffer. I don’t want to see them caught up in fights that should stay between parents. I want to stand up for them. Yeah, go ahead and laugh. I’m lame and I know it”

“So your own childhood trauma pushed you down this path. What would you have done if you’d never made it into law?”

Lance didn’t miss the way his words had thrown been back at him. Shrugging it off, he wasn’t letting Keith under his skin

“I could have been a dancer. I did entertain the idea of being a hairdresser, but a vampire with scissors means risking a cut and an accidental turning. I like my job. Can’t say I don’t like the idea of yours, but it wouldn’t be my first choice of career choice”

“Will you two shut up? You’re scaring the ghosts away”

Lance’s eyes accidentally met Keith’s, both of them snorting and looking away from each other. If only they were, then they could all head home early

“Sorry, Pidge. Keith was telling me how scared he was”

“I did not!”

“Shhhh... didn’t you hear Pidge? Your big mouth is scaring the ghosts away”

“Mine? You won’t shut up”

“Both of you shut up, or you’re being sent outside to wait”

Hunk raised his hand

“Uh, can I go wait outside?”

“You’re the camera man, grow a back bone!”

Hunk gave Pidge a mock salute at her snap, which she flipped him off over. Lance made the motion of zipping of his mouth and throwing away the key. Keith gave a shrug. Apparently he didn’t hold a healthy fear of Pidge... well, that wouldn’t remain for long.

No. Keith barely lasted half an hour before he incurred Pidge’s wrath. Like a misbehaving school child, Keith was sent to sit at the top of the stairs, all because he accidentally tripped over the lip of the door frame. Pidge was sure she’d seen some kind of ghostly orb, sent fleeing by Keith’s stupidity. Making the mistake of snorting over Keith being taken down a peg, Lance was sent to sit beside Keith... both of them not looking at each other, to avoid bursting into laughter because being in a time out was ridiculous. There wasn’t anything there. The orb was a reflection of light from the camera, and that’s all that’d been to it. When Hunk moved, the reflected light disappeared, Keith didn’t deserve being yelled at... but fuck it hadn’t been funny.

[moonydaydreams]

𝐣𝐮𝐱𝐭𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮

Fandom: It Lives In the Woods

Pairing: MC x Noah, MC x Connor (past)

Words: 7.363 (holy cow)

Summary: Lightning never strikes the same place twice, but a second chance does. Even for someone like Noah Marshall.

Warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT, angst 101 and swearing for dummies

Author’s note: This is my first Choices story and, holy cannoli, this is longer than I intended to be. But nonetheless, this an AU of what could have been had neither Noah or MC sacrificed themselves to take Jane’s place (THIS IS, IN ANOTHER WORD, A FORM OF DENIAL, Y'ALL. CAUSE THAT ENDING WRECKED ME) and Noah fled from Westchester. I’m sorry if the characters seem OOC or the story feels meh. So if you’re digging it or simply detest it, let me know, yeah? thanks!

———————————————————————————–

In a city where the subway stations smell like after-shave and peanut butter and jelly breath smelling college students at nine in the morning, and half of the street names that he still can’t recall to this day, a young man in a beanie, who couldn’t have been more than twenty or twenty-one enters a small 24/7 convenience store with his hands thrust deep inside his coat pockets.

A burly, beer-swilling, 6 feet of a man behind the cashier, elbow-deep in the football magazine in his last season’s Real Madrid jersey, glances up from his reading upon his arrival. His eyebrows narrow.

“Never seen you visiting this late,” Romero comments dryly over the trip-hop music that is playing over the speakers and flicked his eyes back to the magazine. “Did you accidentally shoot your dealer or some shit?“

Romero’s attempt on making small talks with him, albeit as condescending as it sounds, does not fall on deaf ears. But it’s cold outside and he’s hungry and broke, he simply doesn’t have the will to entertain him.

“Shut up. I’m hungry,” replies the young man, stopping by the instant food section. His eyes finding the many varieties of flavors and brands and feels his stomach sick at the amount of artificial food he’s been consuming over the years. It’s like being eight all over again.

“Well, knock yourself out. We just stocked up those crazy spicy Korean ramen you kids can’t seem to stop feeding.” Romero’s face breaks into a mocking grin. “Can’t wait to see you all die from cancer.”

“Instant noodles don’t directly cause cancer on its own, actually.”

Romero burst into laughter. “And how the fuck does a two-bit junkie like you know that, Malcolm?”

The boy’s face involuntarily twitches.

And it isn’t because of how alien the sound when someone addresses him with his fake name or how Romero somehow thinks he has his character all figured out. The thing about living in incognito for years, he’s already become accustomed to those; to prejudices and living up to the persona that people design for him just to inflate their egos and ward them off of his tail in the process. No one wants to affiliate themselves with “the junkie” or “the hot-headed mechanic with suicidal tendencies” and he is more than fine with his solitary.

No. It is the nature of the question that throws him off guard and how his mind all too soon, against his better wishes, refers to her.

Suddenly, he is Noah again. Thirteen years ago at the age of eight, looking out of the window with Jane as they watched a girl about their age in a short tutu dress and combat boots climbing up the oak tree in their backyard to save a distressed kitten.

Their parents saw this, did a double-take, went hysterical and called her parents. He later learned her name was Liz and that she’d just moved into the neighborhood a week ago.

Then he sees Liz again, now a few months after their first encounter, running off to the forest with Jane’s arm linked with hers. He remembers her messy braided hair and freckles multiplied by the sun as they led Noah and the rest of their friends to abandoned ruins they’d somehow stumbled on a week ago. 

His memory of her somehow jumps forward. Now, he sees her in a different light, a different vignette. It is from three years ago this time and she was no longer the Liz all knees, elbows and mud on her shoes young girl from his childhood. She was Liz, on the edge of seventeen, her hair nine shades lighter than when she was a kid (she also had bangs now) with a barbed wire bat in her left hand, and a fire axe in the other, but still the same dark-eyed sprite that made his cold, dead heart skip a beat whenever she looked at his way and smiled that smile of hers; the kind that radiated her cheeks and lit up her eyes. 

The same light that he watched slowly waning from her eyes when she discovered his ulterior plan. 

His heart feels like shattering into smithereens all over again. He doesn’t realize he’s been squeezing on the noodle packet too tight until he hears the contents shatter in his hand. 

“A friend told me,” Noah finds himself saying even before his brain can halt it. Staring blankly at the packet, his mouth dropping into a frown.

He can feel Romero’s gaze on him, curious and confused. Shifting between the packet in his hand and his glazed-over expression. Noah, realizing he’s just projected his emotion right out in the open, huffs and throws the squeezed noodle packet into his shopping basket. 

Romero clears his throat. “Sounds like quite a friend.”

Noah pretends as if the jig isn’t exactly up and decides to actively ignore the older man. He gets the rest of his needs, holding the last of his composure against slipping and brings his groceries to the cashier, looking down at his feet whenever Romero glances at him in genuine concern.

“Catch ya later, Malcolm,” Romero says as he hands Noah the change. “And, uh… stay safe, you hear me?”

Noah, in return, only nods his thanks, probably a little too curt according to the polite society and leaves.

Outside, thunder begins to roll overhead. Noah eyes the sky nervously. It’s going to rain soon. And hard judging from the way the clouds are moving across the black midnight sky.

Noah rifles for his cigarette pack from his pockets, lights one and begins making his way back to his hellhole of an apartment. Treading slowly through the deserted streets, steering clear from alley-ways and suspicious characters until he can see the window of his apartment.

Then, Noah’s feet skid to a hard stop.

His jaw drops, his cigarette falling unheeded to the ground.

Sitting on the front steps of his apartment building is Liz, swathed in an oversized overcoat, her head leaning onto the railings, she seems to be sleeping.

What in the sweet fuck?

For a good minute, Noah stands stock-still. He simply gazes at his former best friend, nonplussed and borderline panicking. A migraine begins to form in his head. He gazes over his shoulder, watching and waiting for anyone to jump at him from the alley or anything, because there is no way in hell this is not a trap. This can’t be. 

He waits and waits, but no one comes out. Confused, Noah looks at her again, his expression inscrutable. If this is not a trap, then this must be a cruel dream the universe pulls on him for all the wrongdoings he has committed in his life. That, or Noah must have tragically died on his way back home and ascended to heaven. 

But then, if this is heaven, why is he here?

Eventually, Noah kneels before her. He reaches his hand out to her, hesitating mid-move and touches her shoulder.

“Liz?” he gives her shoulder a gentle shake. “Liz, wake up.”

She does. Slowly, her eyes flutter open, bleary and brown, and meets his gaze for the first time in three years. Noah feels like his breath stuck in his throat.

“Noah?” Liz blinks sleepily, twice, then yawns into the back of her hand. “What time is it?”

He glances at his phone. “A quarter past two.”

Liz’s brows furrow. “Huh. What were you doing out so late?”

“Had to do a supply run.” Noah gestures to the shopping bag in his hand. Then, “Liz, what are you doing here?” he asks, his voice a broken whisper.

Liz doesn’t answer his question, merely wraps her arms around herself, attempting to keep warm and sighs tiredly.

“Noah, can we go inside?” she pleas, instead. Desperation fuelling her voice. “I’m tired and cold and I…” she trails off.

Consideration flashes in Noah’s eyes for a moment. The logical part of his head insists for him to take her to the nearest train station and send her off back to Westchester. It’s the right thing to do. Considering that he’s been laying low for years now, the last thing he needs to add to his ongoing headache is for the police to suspect that she’s an accomplice.

But he’s never been the wiser one.

So, he takes her gloved hand and helps her to stand and, after giving one last look at their surroundings, of course, ushers her inside the apartment building. 

Neither says anything as they make their way to the staircase, as they venture through the grimy hallway where the dim and shadowed lights overhead following their every step like vultures and past the occupied doors where a loud, sexual moan comes from behind one of them.

She doesn’t make any comment about the awful state of the place he lives in, while he simply doesn’t have the capacity to be embarrassed because everything happens so sudden, Noah himself is still second-guessing if any of this is real. 

Finally, they stop by his door. Noah produces the key from his wallet when he hesitates, remembering the state of the room the last time he left it.

“A bit of warning, though…” He rubs his neck, embarrassed. “it’s pretty messy inside.”

“It’s fine.”

Noah turns the key and eases the door open.

The rain has started to pour. Noah turns the side lamp on and takes off his coat, his groceries on top of the kitchen counter. He watches as Liz, as if in a daze, tosses her coat and gloves to his bed and walks towards the direction of the window. A hand against the windowpane, the flare of the street lamp outside illuminating her features in the dimness, she silently watches as the rain falls on the pavement. Lost somewhere in the tangled cobwebs of her thoughts.

And it occurs to Noah that she is no longer Liz, on the edge of seventeen with a barbed wire bat in her left hand, and a fire axe in the other. She is Liz, older, with circles under her eyes, the world on her shoulders and a few pounds lighter than he remembers, but still the same dark-eyed sprite and with the pale shades of haired girl that he yearns to wrap his arms around and tells her how sorry he is for all those years ago, for leaving without saying a proper goodbye and how all these years it is her that keeps him going through every day and drives him insane at the same time. 

But he can only remain in his place and forces to quell his desire to do the aforementioned. Because Noah’s pretty sure that privilege is long gone the moment his betrayal came to light. Even to be standing in the very room with her is a crime, yet here they are.

Here she is.

“Liz?“ 

“Yeah?”

“Have you, uh,” his gaze finds the ramen packets, suddenly feeling inspired. “Have you eaten anything?”

She is silent for a while. “No.”

“I’m making ramen, you want some?” 

“Okay.” 

With that, Noah rolls up his sleeves, takes two eggs and a few vegetables from the fridge and begins to work. He ditches the salty packet of MSG and makes his own broth while at the same time, mincing the garlic and green onion and grating the ginger. By the time he sautées the aromatics, Liz makes a beeline from the window and hops onto the counter, watching him distractedly as he continues cooking. 

She stays silent and so does he. Despite the lack of words, everything feels strangely… domestic? Under different circumstances, Noah can easily get used to this; him cooking for her, with her becoming his taste tester whenever he’s experimenting with new recipes he finds on the internet and simply impresses her on a daily basis. Yeah, he can definitely get used to that.

Ten minutes passed, Noah then moves the ‘upgraded ramen’ to the bowls and serves one to her. The taste will probably pale in comparison to the one that her mom used to make, yet it earns him her first smile of the night, albeit small and closed-mouthed, it’s still a smile nonetheless. 

He grabs two cans of beer from the fridge and moves onto the couch with her. They finish their meal within minutes, still in silence. For a moment, the only sound that encompasses the room is the rain and his next-door neighbor who has the TV going in full-blast. That asshole.

Noah reaches out for a cigarette pack from the coffee table, dexterously flicks his wrist so a single one pops halfway out of the carton. He casts her a sidelong glance.

“Do you mind if I…?” he trails off, gesturing to the cigarette. 

Liz’s stare zeroes on the cancer stick, scowling, as if she doesn’t approve of this vice of his, but shrugs nonetheless. 

“So, how, uh…” Noah clears his throat, gathering his courage. How does he do this? How do you break the ice with your former best friend who you happen to have a crush on for more than a decade and almost murdered because your dead twin sister compelled you to do so without being awkward? 

“How are you, by the way?“ he manages to ask behind a plume of smoke. 

“I’m doing okay,” she says but in a tone when someone is obviously not okay.

“Just okay?”

“I…” she hesitates. “Yeah, just okay.” Liz lies and manages a weak smile. Noah decides not to press for more information. “Though I’ve been busy these days. I’m trying to finish my dissertation sometime around next year.”

"Already?” And she nods. Noah whistles, obviously impressed. "I’m guessing you did take the English major?”

Liz’s eyes widened slightly. “You remember." 

"Yeah.” Noah looks down. Of course he remembers, not when it’s impossible to forget the very idea of Liz Mortimer. “And your old man doesn’t try to fight you for this?”

“Nope. After Ja–” she clamps her mouth shut. “I graduated, let’s just say he had a hard time saying no to me.” She chuckles, but just for a good three seconds and Noah doesn’t have to ask why to know the reason behind her father’s sudden change of heart.

“How about you?” she asks, then shakes her head. “I mean, how are you?” She amends.

Heaven knows I’m always miserable, Liz. But he doesn’t say that. “I’m okay, too, I guess." 

"Just okay?” Liz parrots his own words at him and he smiles, the left side of his mouth higher than the right. They may still be painfully awkward to one another, but it feels so good to be talking with her again.

“Nothing new under the sun for me, but I’m thriving. And, um, how’s the others?” a.k.a the bunch of group of friends I hurt.

“They’re alright. Lily started her own video game called Pixie Moon, which I have no doubt will take the world by storm the way Candy Crush did; Ava is writing a book about witch trials; Stace is studying journalism and basically kicking ass; Dan is pursuing psychology; His majesty King Kang himself is playing for the Bighorns; and Lucas, as you can expect, is off to save our earth.”

Noah swallows the information one by one. His face an inscrutable blank. All of his friends somehow have found a place on this earth, they all have moved on except for him, again, who’s still scratching around in the same old hole; his future derived, his past an endless pitfall.

“And Connor?” he asks quietly, when in truth he doesn’t give two-shits about the man. But he knows she does, and Noah loves her too much to let his jealousy dictate his behavior. 

Suddenly, her face falls. Teeth chewing nervously on her lower lip. “He's… fine. He’s probably at home now as we speak.“

“And now you’re a long way from home.”

“So are you.”

Noah shakes his head. “Westchester stopped being my home the moment I turned eight.” He sighs forlornly, looks the other way, hands fidgeting. Force of habit. “Liz, as much as I’m glad to see you, but why did you come here?”

“How long have you been staying here?” Liz evades his question as if he never asked it in the first place.

Noah raises an eyebrow, exhales, but decides to play along. “Since August. So that’s two months. Probably, the longest I have ever stayed in one place.”

“Where have you been all this time?”

“Well, there was Utah and Kansas. Then Minnesota for a couple of weeks, but I couldn’t stand the cold and the rest is history,” he keeps his answer as vague as possible, not when he still has no idea the nature of her visit. “Look, why are you here?”

But still, the girl dodges his question. “Why do you–”

Until his patience can’t simply take it anymore. 

Noah is all but scoots over to her position until their knees are touching, the cigarette forgotten on the ashtray, and grips her arms firmly. His eyebrows knitted as he takes in her stunned face. 

“Liz.” There is a twinge of anger, confusion and desperation in the way he says her name this time. “Why are you here? You know you can’t be here. Goddamn it! If the fucking cops find out that you’re here…” Once he realizes what he is doing, he withdraws his hands as if she’s fire and now he’s burning.

“They won’t. I can assure you that." 

"You don’t know that.”

“I know what I’m doing, Noah. Trust me, I wouldn’t have come here if I knew it’s not safe,” Liz replies, her tone doesn’t leave any room for doubts and he knows there is no way to talk his way around it. Not to mention, he trusts her, if there is anyone who can sneak behind authority and get away with it, it has to be her.

Noah shrugs, agreeable, but he isn’t going to let her off so easily. 

“How did you find me, anyway?” he questions, reaching for his cigarette and takes a deep, long drag just to spite his throat. He has a feeling he might be smoking his misery away all night by the time she’s left.

The blonde-haired girl shrugs and absentmindedly leans her back against the couch, one arm wraps around her midsection. “It wasn’t easy, actually. But I made some new friends in Pine Springs and one of them is acquainted with the newly-minted Police Chief. Pulled a few strings and here we are.” 

“Pine Springs? What the heck were you doing there?”

“It's… a long story. But there were people there needing my help, and in exchange, they helped me track you down. An eye for an eye.”

Lightning suddenly jags across the night sky, briefly illuminating the room, pulling him out of his musings. She jumps at the sound, startled, and instinctively reaches for his hand. Noah freezes at the contact, forgetting how her skin feels like on his or a decent human contact in general. It’s been so long. And somehow he loses the ability to speak, to think.

He definitely doesn’t think when Noah moves his hand under hers, intertwining their fingers together.

Noah feels her head moving, her eyes darting from their joined hands and to his face that turns into a parade of expressions– misery, regret and melancholy. The holy trinity of feelings he’s been bearing for the past three years– for the past thirteen years of his life, actually– and feels her hand squeezing back his. 

“Christ, I can’t believe you went all through that shit just to find me,” he croaks, all but on the verge of tears. “And I left you just like that even without saying sorry.”

“Noah…”

“No, let me say it, Liz. I need to say it.” His hands are trembling, his composure this close from crumbling. “What I did was unforgivable. And I know there is nothing in this world that could help me undo the damage I’ve done to you and how I’ll spend the rest of my day regretting it, but regardless, I’m sorry,” he sobs, his whole body is shaking by now. 

“I’m so sorry for the nightmare I put you through. I was so blinded by my own volition and revenge for Jane’s death that I hurt you, all of you in the process without giving a single rat’s ass about it.” Noah pauses, wipes his tears with the back of his hand. “I’m a monster, Liz. A selfish, heartless, miserable monster. God, I should have died that night.”

“Hey, hey, look at me.” She plucks the cigarette from his other hand, discards it on her empty bowl and places her other hand on his shoulder. “Noah, look at me,” she says again, her voice like a caress. He looks up. “Don’t say that. You are not a monster. You’re just a byproduct of the pain from losing your sister, loneliness and bad parenting. That doesn’t make you a monster. That makes you human.”

“A normal human being wouldn’t lure his friends into abandoned ruins in the middle of a fucking forest where his sister died and put their lives hang in the balance.”

“No, they wouldn’t, but if there is anything Dan taught me is that people react to loss in different ways.”

Noah groans and pushing himself to his feet. “No, don’t try to find a way to justify this. Didn’t you forget, I could have killed you that night. You! The- the only one who gives a fuck whether I’m breathing or not.” The only one who matters. “If you hadn’t stopped her… God, I don’t even want to go there.“

She gets up from the couch as well. “I’m not justifying anything. Yes, what you did to us was… It was harrowing, it was despicable but I also knew the extent of your agony that drove you to do it. I understand… and like what I said that night in the cave; it’s not your fault. Not exclusively, at least. And I forgive you for it.”

“Liz–”

“No, listen to me, we all made mistake–”

He snorts. “Not on a grand scale like this, I bet.”

“Maybe not. But the fact that you give a shit and beat yourself up for years for what you did, that already speaks a lot,” she says. “You’ve tormented yourself enough. It’s not going to do you anything good. It’s not going to erase anything. What you need to do now is to close that book. Get a new one, write a new story, move on. I have forgiven you, I’m sure the others have forgotten about what happened until someone mentions it, it’s your turn now.”

Her words hit him like a piledriver and for the first time in probably like forever, he does feel slightly better. Even if only an infinitesimal amount and even he may won’t be forgiving himself anytime soon, but still, hearing those words coming from her mouth mean the whole world to him. 

“Why did you really come here, Liz?” The question is a tad out of place, but it feels like their previous conversations were made entirely to build up for this. 

Her frown melts away, replaced with somewhere between doubt and conflict. He holds her gaze for a minute, undeterred, then she turns her back on him to face the window once more. The suspense gnaws at him, yet still, he bides his time. 

“I have something to tell you,” she finally says, keeping her voice low.

“What is it?” He replies rather impatiently. When she seems to be hesitating, he adds, “And don’t beat around the bush, Liz.”

A deep breath, foot taps, a hand clutching at the hem of a buttoned-up dress and another deep breath. 

“Connor proposed to me.”

A beat. Then,

“Oh,” and it’s barely audible. And Noah feels like his heart has been torn from his chest, thrown into the ground, drags it through the mud then stomps on it for good measure. And that he feels worse and emptier than he was before she came here. “Congratulations.”

The words that come out of his mouth could have been his, because he can barely hear his own voice in this white noise. He always knew Connor and her were smitten with each other the moment she stepped into the hardware store for the first time, but Noah doesn’t expect it all would extend to marriage.

She looks over her shoulder, half-turned, one eye on him. “I wasn’t finished.”

Noah blinks at her, momentarily confused. “What?”

“I…” her voice wavers. When she turns to face him again, she is pinching the bridge of her nose. Her eyes scrunched up. “Ah, fuck this is never going to be easy. Long story short, I freaked out, made a scene at a restaurant, ended our three-year on-and-off relationship and went here.”

“Wait, what?”

Liz shrugs, guiltily, all Atlas-and-the-weight-of-the-world.

“Yeah,” she, much to his surprise (and concern), chokes a laughter, manic and loud. “Yeah, I did it. I fucked up the longest relationship I’ve ever had and broke my best friend’s brother’s heart because I wasn’t ready, because I’m an idiot.” When she does look at him, her eyes are bright. “Because I’m in love with someone else.”

For a brief, candid moment, Noah’s brows furrow as his mind goes to one of his former friends. Is it Dan? Ava? Or could it be Lucas? Because the last time he saw them together, they were pretty inseparable– although their relationship is strictly platonic as far as he’s concerned. Has that dynamic changed after he left? 

Then Noah realizes her eyes are still on him– and quite expectantly, that is, and that’s not… no, that can’t be right, can it? 

His demeanor shifts drastically as he stands there, stunned silence. Disarmed by her confession. 

He tries to speak, but his jaw won’t shut back to its place; his brains short-circuiting.

“Yes, I have loved you ever since I’ve known you, Noah Marshall,” Liz mutters when he remains silent. He can tell this is something she’s been holding in for a long time. “Even though we hadn’t spoken to each other for years after Jane, there hadn’t been a day that I didn’t think of you. When we finally reconnected three years ago, I wanted to say all these things to you, but..” she smiles wistfully. “Well, shit happened.”

“Why?” Of all the people you could have fallen in love with, why me? What he means to ask.

“Because you understand me like no one else; because you climbed up to my window to bring me your homemade grilled cheese sandwich when I was grounded when we were 8; because you actually listened and showed me that my vulnerability doesn’t always have to be my weakness; because I love the way you wear your beanie like 24/7 and the way you shake my hair whenever I say something stupidly amusing to you. Because it’s you!”

“No.” It’s a denial, it’s an attempt to ward her off from someone like him. It’s a lie. “No, no, no, no, no, Liz, you can’t fall in love with someone who’s-who’s mentally unstable or tried to kill you in the past, that’s like…” he gesticulates wildly. “Crazy! You are crazy!”

“I’m sorry, are you any better?”

“Of course not! But to forgive me is one thing, Liz, to love me, that’s a whole different level of insanity.” Noah begins to pace agitatedly around the room back and forth. “Fuck. I can’t hear this. Not from you.”

“Why not?” He sees the hurt expression on her face. Then interrupts just as soon as he opens his mouth. “Noah, I’m not asking for your answer this instance–heck, I’m not even asking you to reciprocate my feelings, but please don’t invalidate my emotions. Not when I waited for years to say it to you.”

“But this fucking complicates everything!” Noah points out.  

“Maybe. Maybe not, but you don’t know that,” she says resolutely, echoing his words from before. 

Noah doesn’t say anything in return.

She steps closer and slowly raises her palm to cup his cheek, an attempt to calm the storm within him. His hand grasps her wrist before she can make contact. 

“Noah–" 

His breathing quickens. Noah swallows and shakes his head.

“Liz, we can’t do this. No matter…” he sighs, his eyes boring into hers. Here he is, again, dangling on the edge of damnation, of what’s right and wrong. It’s wrong, yet he knows that she knows, from the heat and electricity that dance between them, from the pressure of his fingers that tell different stories, that he, too, wants the same thing.

“No matter what, Noah?” She murmurs, staring up at him with hopeful eyes. She really wants him to say it, does she?

He extricates her hand from him, taking steps back, putting as much distance he can from her. “Forget it.”

“Look, Noah, if you feel what I think you’re feeling, then what is it that you’re afraid of?" 

Noah whirls around to face her again. "Everything! Can’t you see that if we do this, the world will turn against us?" 

“Since when do you care about other people’s opinions?”

“I wasn’t worrying about me.”

"Well, I don’t give a fuck what others or this thrice-damned world thinks!” she exclaims mulishly. “After all we’ve been through, is it so wrong to be selfish, to follow your own heart just once– just once? Is it– don’t you care about what you want?”

“I want-” Noah stops. His hands tugging at his red beanie cap. “Never mind what I want.”

Her voice is quieter now. “What do you want, Noah?”

For an interminable moment, heavy with the promise of both release and regret, he only stares at her. Contemplating his options.

Perhaps loving her shouldn’t be the sin he thought it was, especially when she wants the same thing in return. Although he’s more than aware that he’s the last person in this world who deserves her affection, but deep down, Noah knows that he’ll never forgive himself if he didn’t run the risk now and spent the rest of his life wondering what it felt like instead.

“You.” Always you.

She holds his gaze. “Then have me.”

And as if an unknown force was taking over his body, Noah crosses the distance between them, his free hands cradling her face, drawing her close and kisses her.

It’s like a dam breaking, everything floods out. They do not kiss gently, desperation orchestrating their every move that the world around him grows distant and dim.  Twelve years of pining for each other, of secretive glances, of murder attempt and mutual misery and it all leads them to this. His thumb skimming the curve of her throat and feels her pulse leaps. He stops. Worrying if he’s crossed the line.

But Liz grabs the front of his clothes, pulling him even closer– as if they aren’t close enough– and kisses him back with a matching fervor. Her body pressed against his, warm and unfamiliarly familiar, and Noah swears his heart skips when she emits a quiet desperate noise that he happily swallows. 

Suddenly, Noah pulls back. “Liz, I’m sorr–” he says breathlessly.

“No, don’t you dare apologize,” she says firmly, her lips still tinged pink from their kiss. “I… I started this.” Her tongue darted out over her lips. “Are you okay with this?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I want this.” Noah’s hands dropped to her waist, his cheeks burned. He’s inexperienced, yes, and it shows, yes, but this is Liz. The last thing she does is to laugh at his face about it. “You?”

“You have no idea.”

His cheeks grow redder. “I’m, uh… now what?" 

"I think,” she leans in, tiptoeing, her arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders and playfully says, “I want you to kiss me again.”

Noah grins, more relaxed now knowing he has her consent. “I think I can provide that.”

He let her set the pace this time. Kissing him softly and sweetly, but as equally mind-blowing as the first time before the next thing he knows, they are kissing senselessly once more; the next thing he knows, she swipes her tongue on his lower lip. Drawing a surprised groan from him. His lips instinctively open up to her ministrations and he is rendered weak when Noah feels her warm tongue delves into his mouth. He tries to follow her example, but can hardly navigate through his own mind every time.

He can feel her fingers toying and tugging his beanie off, her nails grazing his scalp and his desire rocketed. And this time, Noah isn’t afraid to act, as his hands on her waist slowly glide upward; from her hips to her ribs, stopping just under her breasts which results in Liz’s breath to hitch in his mouth. His mouth travels down her jaw, the length of her neck, her collarbone. 

When he finds himself on the bed, on his back, and Noah has absolutely zero clue how or when he got that way. 

He sits up. Without thinking, grabs her hips to pull her onto his lap, hands rough, settling her against him as he tips her head upward and continues his onslaught on her neck. Her hands on his shoulders, coming up to the strands of his hair. Encouraging him, guiding him lower and lower until his mouth reaches her clothed breast. 

“Oh my god.” Liz’s eyes closed in pure bliss, caught up in the sensation, and ground her hips against him and, fucking hell, the friction feels so good and erotic and sets his entire being alight that Noah isn’t fast enough to stop the low, rumbling moan that comes from his mouth. 

“Fuck,” Noah swears and rolls his hips in response. At this rate, even if he wants to, he can’t hide the evidence of his physical desire, growing hard against her, making her produce these small high-pitched gasps every time his bulge brushes her just right, her pupils blown to hell and fucking fuck.

He is dry humping Liz. Liz. His sister’s best friend. His Achilles’ fricking heel. Good fuck, if Jane was still alive, what would she say about this?

“Noah?” She whispers.

He doesn’t realize he’s been lost in his own thoughts. “Sorry.” Noah mentally clears his head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to space out on you back there.”

She stares at him, seemingly unconvinced. “Did I go too far?" 

"What? No, no, you are incredible. Don’t worry.” To prove his point, he gives her thigh a distracting squeeze. “Liz, what if I say I want more? What if I say that I want you?”

Liz is quiet for a while. “Are you sure?" 

"Yeah. I know the last time we met I said I wasn’t ready for dating and stuff, but it’s you. And if you’re up for it, I’m game, but if you–” Liz chuckles at his stammering. Whispering “You’re fucking adorable” as Noah groans and hides his face on the crook of her neck. “Liz, you’re fucking driving me out of my mind here.”

“Well, I’m game.” Liz leans in and kisses his temple. Noah can practically hear her smile from here. “You know, for someone who seemed adamant on pushing me away, you’re awfully eager.”

He grins, running his finger down her spine until every hair in her body stood up. “Keep teasing me, and you’ll regret it, Mortimer.”

“Bite me, Marshall.”

Noah does bite, literally, on that delicious spot under her ear before flipping her onto her back on the bed, making her giggle like a drunken schoolgirl; making her dress hike up to her thigh, just enough for him to see her underwear. He settles himself atop her, right between her legs. His hips and an unmistakable hardness press firmly against her soft thighs. 

This is it, then. The wheels are in motion now and Noah can scarcely believe this is happening.

She props up on her elbows and begins undoing the buttons of her dress with great speed, eyes never leaving his until she pulls him for another searing kiss. Then Liz raises her legs, wrapping them around his waist and rolls her hips once more.

She moans softly, as Noah’s mouth trails wet kisses down her throat, nipping and sucking as he goes, until it finds its way to her nipple. He bucks up into her, growling, as he takes her other nipple in his mouth. His shaky hand makes to drop her legs away from his waist, yanks the hem of her dress upward and dips between her legs, slipping past the waistband of her underwear to touch her that she jolts, gasping and moaning loudly altogether. 

Liz writhes, her hands clutching onto his sweatshirt like a lifeline, head tilted back as her hips involuntarily move against his hand, desperate for relief. Noah inserts two fingers, watching with heated gaze for her reaction as he pumps in and out, long and slow, short and fast. Pushes deeper, crooks his fingers a little. The rough pad of his thumb rubbing her clit in fast circles until her moan grows increasingly loud and she comes hard, shattering into Noah’s fingers. 

When it’s over, Liz is a panting, limp noodle.  She lays there, properly spent, smiling contently at the ceiling with heavy, bedroom eyes. Noah hovers above her, kissing her nose with a newfound satisfaction as he watches her trying to even her erratic breaths.

“Whoa.” She breathes out. “I guess I should have known those hands weren’t made only for kitchen knives.” And lazily wraps her arms around his neck. “Jesus, I’m wasted.”

His teeth gently nibbling her earlobe, his hand teasing her nipple again. “I’m nowhere near done with you.” Fingers trailing down to her warm, still over-sensitive slit again that Liz shudders like a flower. “Not even close.”

“I can’t–” And Noah freezes, thinking if he’s gone too far. “No more foreplay. Fuck me, Noah. Now. Please, I want you.”

In an uncontrolled frenzy, Noah pulls away from her, removes his sweatshirt while Liz assists with the buttons of his shirt. He works on his belt, freeing his member from the tight confines of his jeans and pulls her panties over her knees. Not bothering with the rest of her dress.

They kiss again as he repositions himself above her. Liz’s hand reaches down to grab him, guides the head toward her entrance, her legs once again settling around his waist. 

In his head, Noah mentally prepares himself, counts to five, then slides his girth into her. The two groan in unison at the joining.

“Jesus fuck.” Noah’s head flops forward, jaw clenching. He is inside her, and it feels a dizzying kind of spectacular. “Fuck, Liz, you feel so good.”

Below him, a crackling gasp escapes her lips, her mouth drops into a perfect circle as her head falls back to the bed and looking oh so beautiful. Noah begins to rock his hips into her, the strands of his brown hair brushing against her damp forehead, the parts of his brain that enable him to think slowly shut down. His hand wanders to touch every part of her body.

Everything is on fire. Everything feels so fucking good.

“Look at me.” She does, through lidded eyes, lashes heavy with arousal. “Say my name.” Noah never really thought he would be this vocal in bed, but there’s just something about Liz that brings this side of him. “Say it, Liz.”

“Noah,” Liz moans his name, clinging to him like mad, nails raking his back. “Noah, shit. Faster.”

Noah wordlessly obliges, liking the way she thrashes underneath him. Her breaths coming faster, higher so he moves even faster, pounding into her with reckless abandon just to show her how much strength he has. He finds himself growling rather animalistic against her skin, biting her shoulder. Feeling himself drawing closer and closer to the edge. He isn’t going to last any longer.

He puts a hand between them to rub her clit and Liz’s eyes roll back.

“Ooohh, god. N-noah!” she cries out, her words quickly morphed into a desperate wail. "Don’t stop, don’t stop, oh, please!”

Liz is a blubbering mess, screaming against the pillow. It is too much. The combination of his cock fucking her mercilessly and the friction his fingers provided on her sensitive spot is enough to make the girl convulse pathetically on the bed. 

When she comes, he follows not long after. Going rigid and groaning gutturally in her ear, emptying himself inside her.

When the ripples have passed, Noah collapses on top of her. Both panting and sweating from… whatever is it that just happened between them. Liz cradles him against her breasts, peppering tired kisses to his hair that is now sticking out wildly in every direction, locking him in her embrace, their left hands intertwining.

They stay like that for a few minutes, in a very much comfortable silence since she first set her foot here before Noah rolls to the side on the bed.

“Holy shit, we just had sex,” he says when he’s regained the power to speak again.

Liz chuckles and turns to face his side, sticking one of her legs between his while he pulls the covers over their forms. “Yep. Though, honestly, I never would have thought we’d end up having sex when I came here tonight.”

“Liz, I didn’t even know you’d be coming over. I can safely say tonight has been one hell of a surprise after another.”

She doesn’t say anything. At least not for a while.

“I hope you know I meant every word that I say to you,” she says kindly. “You’re not the villain in the story, but neither you are the hero. You are human, with your flaws and all, and I love you despite all of it.”

“Except you. You are an angel, Liz.”

“Noah, I basically turned down Connor’s marriage proposal, broke up with him and went straight into your arms in a matter of days.” She sighs guiltily. “No, we all just wear our demons differently.”

“Maybe. But you said it yourself, we are all just humans with our flaws and all. But you,” Noah turns and cups her cheeks in his hands. “you will always be an angel in my book. You saved me, Liz. When the whole world raised their torches and forks on me, you freaking saved me where you could have fed me to the mob. You’re the reason why I’m still here today and I love you for it, you hear me?” He pulls her into his arms when a tear starts to fall from her eye. 

“I’m so in love with you, Elizabeth Mortimer. Always have and always will.” He kisses her cheek. “You’re the kindest, most beautiful, the brightest human being I’ve ever known. I’m the luckiest person to have you be in love with me and if you’re up for it, I want to build a world around you.” He adds, “Instant noodles included.”

Liz laughs, still teary-eyed, shoves him playfully on the shoulder, feigning a glare. “You jerk. Always have the flair to ruin a moment.”

Noah chuckles. “Technically, you love instant noodles, so it’s only right, don’t you think?” She shoves him again. “And I’m your jerk now.”

“My jerk.” Yet she says it the same way someone says ‘my love’. “I love you too, Noah Marshall. And I want to build that world together with you.”

Noah smiles. Because he loves her and because for the first time in forever, his life makes fucking sense.  

Yes, he doesn’t know whether their relationship will last or will it crash and burn in the future, but at this exact moment, he’s happy and it seems that she does too. And that is all that matters now.

And if there is one thing that he’s sure of is that he knows that he doesn’t ever want to let this go. Not in a million years.