#like even the very first ep… they had me hooked and from there it’s been nothing but kurodachi brainrot I wanna be@free someone please

[caramel-macchiatos]

really need to find a way to erase the entirety of cherry magic from my head and watch it again from scratch I want that fresh spike of happiness…

[suckerforcate]

making my first emily request, not read much of it yet bc i'm worried about spoilers and i'm only on season 4 (tbf have fucking blasted through it so far, watching multiple eps a day).

emily/reader, reader is hotch's little sister who isn't part of the bau but works with them occasionally. hotch Does Not Know about her and em. unclear if he even knows she's gay. any other details of it are up to you bestie, i trust you 💚

Segreto Piccolo

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x fem!Reader

Word Count: 1336

Warning: I think none?

Summary: Emily and you had been dating for a few months and now you're brother had found out (set around season 3 or 4)

A/n: OK, so this is the first time I've ever written for Em. I hope it's okay? Hope it's not too ooc. Would be delighted by a comment or repost!!! <3

■----------------------------------------■

“Come on, babe. He won’t rip your head off.” You nearly whined and gave Emily the best puppy eyes you could manage. You’d been dating her for a few months now, it was all still very fresh, but you really liked her. A lot.

Your brother, Aaron Hotchner, was the Unit Chief of the BAU and sometimes brought you in for cases. You worked as a children’s psychiatrist and had turned out to be very helpful on cases involving children. In any form, as victims, as witnesses and as UnSubs. On one of those cases, you had met Emily Prentiss. Truth be told, she had caught your eye immediately, but it had taken you three more cases to actually ask her out. She was amazing, not to mention absolutely gorgeous. She was smart and quick-witted, an amazing Profiler, adorable with kids and really funny. And after you had started dating you had learned that she loved with all she had. And it was wonderful.

Except for one thing. She was afraid of telling your brother. Emily hadn’t been on the team for long, and now she hooked up with his baby sister? He’d kill her. Or at least that’s what she assumed. She didn’t know Aaron like you did. He could be stoic and serious at work, but he was a sweetheart and a wonderful brother. He loved you and all he wanted was you to be happy. He might need some time adjusting, but he could never be mad for long.

“He’ll kill me, Tesoro. He’s only just warmed up to me.” She grumbled and you knew that was true. Her start on the team had been a bit bumpy. The whole situation was ridiculous. The two of you were cramped in about the smallest room in the whole building. A little storage room. You could feel some sort of utensils press into your spine, and you saw a box of pencils just over Emily’s shoulder. All in all, ridiculous to talk about something like this, at work, while hiding.

“No, he will not, Emily.” You pressed on, your hand still on her hip. Truthfully it didn’t really have anywhere else to go in this cramped space. “It might shock him a bit, but he’ll come around. Please, Em. You know how important Aaron is to me. I want him to know.” You explained what you had explained at least five times before and again gave her puppy dog eyes she rarely could refuse.

You could see her melt under your gaze and just as she wanted to answer the door to the small room opened, and you were faced with your brother’s usual serious expression. His expression didn’t change much, but you could see a subtle twitch of his eyes. His eyes wandered from you to Emily and back to you again. “Office. Both, now.” And he was gone. Emily groaned and closed her eyes.

“It’ll be fine, Em.” You tried to reassure her. You knew he’d probably be more disappointed than anything, cause you hadn’t told him. He didn’t even know you liked women. Emily let her head fall against your shoulder. “We had a nice few months, dolcezza. But I think I’m walking into my own death now.” She really had a hang for drama. Playfully you slapped her shoulder and chuckled.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Come on, babe.” You said and took her hand to lead her into your brother's office. No point in hiding it now. Besides, you had the suspicion that Penelope had known right from the start and that meant that at least Derek knew as well. And JJ was perceptive, Spencer on the other hand not so much for a Profiler. But what does it matter?

You led Emily through the bullpen and up the few steps right to Aaron’s office door. It was open, and your brother was already looking at you. No need to knock, you thought. You simply stepped inside, Emily practically needing to be dragged in there behind you. You motioned her to close the door and very reluctantly she let go of your hand to do so.

Aaron got up and rounded his desk, standing in front of you, his hands in his pockets. His features softened visibly. The way they did at work only if you were around. Or if Jack came to visit. “Why didn’t you tell me you like women?” He asked, and you saw a hint of surprise on Emily’s face in the corner of your eye. She didn’t know that he didn’t know. But contrary to what she probably believed now it hadn’t been because you were scared to come out or anything. You simply shrugged.

“I thought I’d tell you if I’ll ever get a girlfriend and then I kind of never did.” You said and looked at him a bit sheepishly. “But now I do.” You said and smiled proudly, which warmed Emily’s heart immediately and calmed her immensely. Aaron even cracked a very small smile. Then he looked at Emily at the small vanished. You grabbed Em’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

“You’ve been here little more than a year and start dating my sister, Prentiss?” He said and studied Emily. You could say he was profiling her. Emily opened her mouth, no doubt to defend herself. But Aaron gave her not a second. “Remember, I’m your superior. Hurt her, and you’ll fly off this team faster than you can blink.” You had to hide a small giggle. Aaron rarely played protective brother. It was a bit funny to see almost all colour fade from Emily’s face. She interrogated Serial Killers, but your brother was too much.

“Alright, Aaron. Enough of that.” You said and drew his attention back to you. He softened a bit again and pulled you into a rare hug. No words. Just a hug. And that was enough. Then he rounded his desk and sat down again.

“You're invited for dinner on Saturday.” He said right before you were out of his office. It nearly looked comedic, the way everything in Emily’s face fell as soon as she heard him. You quickly closed the office door behind you and grabbed her hands.

Emily wasn’t the relationship type. She hadn’t had a lot of them, and they had never been very long. Or at least that’s what she had told you. She was always afraid of somehow fucking it up. You squeezed her hands until she was looking at you.

“It’ll be fine. He didn’t rip your head off now, he won’t on Saturday. And Jack will love you, which is basically the way to Aaron’s heart.” It did little to calm the brunette. She swallowed hard and nodded slowly.

“What do I wear? How do I act? Do I buy him something? Wine? I’ve never done this before, dolcezza.” She rambled, and it would have been cute if she hadn’t looked so worked up.

“You’ll wear something nice. Which you always do. I promise Aaron will just be wearing a T-shirt. You act like yourself which is the way I love you. And wine is a good idea but absolutely not necessary.” You assured her, answering one question after another. You had been so concerned about calming her that you hadn’t really thought about the exact words you had used.

“Love?” She asked a bit perplexed. Maybe it was a bit early but with Emily? How could you not love her. You grinned a bit stupidly. “Of course, you idiot.” She cracked a smile at that, and you were very thankful for that. You’d walk through hell to see that smile.

“Ti amo anch'io, tesoro.” She whispered against your lips, having leaned in. The kiss was a bit sloppy, cause you were both smiling like lovesick idiots. Which you kind of were.

“Oh my god, this is adorable!” A very excited voice called through the bullpen, unmistakably Penelope’s. Emily and you broke apart, laughing softly. You stood incredibly close to each other, hands still intertwined. Both your head turned, and you weren’t surprised to see the whole team stare at you. Most of them just smiled knowingly. Spencer looked like he had missed about twenty chapters, which her kind of had. His head turned from us to JJ next him.

“Wha-?” Everyone just laughed fondly. Everything was fine.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I was given oral herpes by someone who didn't feel the need to disclose that they got cold sores before we had a one-time little dalliance.

I might've gone for it anyways. I'm self destructive. But I guess the lack of being able to choose whether to take the risk, it's left me feeling pretty bitter about the experience.

And I'm left feeling like a biohazard. I haven't really been able to explain to my friends yet why I'm suddenly extremely cagey about sharing my drinks and food. And all my favorite sexual activities are off the table forever. I know, dental dams, condoms, but half the fun of oral sex and making out is, you know, the taste, the heat, the absolute control. I was good at it.

It feels especially embarrassing since I'm ace and the whole reason I hooked up with the person was kind of... I don't know, fear that if I didn't, then we wouldn't be able to hang out anymore.

I'm not sure what I'm asking. Maybe, was it wrong for them not to disclose something like that? Considering how common it is? I feel obligated to disclose myself but maybe I'm just weird for that.

Thanks for doing what you do here.

Kind regards,

Asexual for Ethical Reasons Now I Guess

hi anon,

I don't often apologize for needing time to get to anons, because I really need people to have reasonable expectations about the amount of time I'm willing to commit to my inbox, but I am sorry for not getting to this one sooner. it's a topic that's very important to me, and I can tell you're dealing with a lot of hurt.

first off: I'm very sorry someone wasn't totally honest with you. that's never a good feeling, and especially in the context of sex it's a huge betrayal of trust. it's deeply unfair to you, and I hope you're able to recover from that.

having said that: you are not a biohazard. you're a person with an incredibly common virus. the World Health Organization estimates that somewhere around 80% of people worldwide have herpes (and that's a rough estimate, since they use different age ranges for HSV-1 and HSV-2). skip to the factual part of this tiktok at 00:10 seconds. herpes has been with us since before we were human; there's nothing disgusting or even unusual about having herpes.

herpes is different from most STIs in that it is lifelong, but that doesn't make you an unfuckable pariah. it makes you someone who may sometimes have open sores, and should give partners a heads up about your virus to avoid putting anyone in the same situation you're in. while you're at it, let them know that most people with herpes live asymptomatic and uncomplicated lives. many people never even know they have it!

I understand that spending the rest of your life with a viral buddy doesn't sound super fun right now, but I promise that as viruses go you can do WAY worse.

personally I've always felt the best way to get comfortable with something is to learn more about it. why not let clinical sexologist Dr. Doe talk to you about her own herpes, and how to be conscientious about minimizing the risk of sharing herpes with others?

or listen to writer Ella Dawson talk about learning to cope with the exact stigma you're currently struggling with?

or listen to Dr. Sydnee Smirl McElroy explain why herpes bears such a heavy stigma for such a mild virus in the first place?

you're not a biohazard, and neither is anyone else with an STI. that's a terrible way to think about yourself and others.

you're under no obligation to stop being sexually active if you don't want to be.

please don't feel that you have to have sex with anyone out of a sense of obligation anymore, but also please don't feel that herpes is a punishment. sickness isn't something that happens to people because they're bad or deserve, sickness happens to people because people get sick.

take care 💜

[angstflavoured]

I would love to hear more about your toxic pim and charlie headcanons. All I can think of is Pim might be too desperate to prove something and Charlie has that "alpha male" thing

SO GLAD YOU ASKED !!!! I need to rant about this to clear things up bc I think about how Charpim would work so much and it makes me go insane bc their dynamic is fucking incredible.

Ill take this as an opportunity to do a little character study and explain why i think they would inherently be toxic at their very core 👹👹 and how I think their relationship would even function.

First off, a HUGE roadblock is the fact that they have completely different ideals. They want totally different things in life and go about life almost in completely opposite ways.

Pim's been shown in canon multiple times to want a normal, healthy, nuclear family. He wants a wife and kids and wants to raise them well and be the father figure for them that he himself never had. It's apparent that he wants to settle down, and just hasn't found anyone willing to. When he even talks to Shrimpina, he can't help puking and making a fool of himself and tossing and turning at night over it. This makes it clear that while i do NOT AT ALL think he's a virgin, Pim doesn't have a lot of experience with this kind of stuff. It's probably all been pretty awkward and never lasted very long.

I don't think that him or Charlie have any problems with being gay, but I do think that Pim settling down with a guy does inherently shatter his ideals. ESPECIALLY with the way Charlie acts. Being with Charlie wouldn't be a picture perfect movie couple, and I think that would really frustrate and disappoint Pim when Charlie doesn't act like he's "supposed" to. He wouldn't really be a BOYFRIEND to him. Pim is just a lot more romantic and holds a lot more hope in the idea of love than Charlie does. He's an optimist and Charlie is VERYRYYY much a pessimist.

The way that Charlie goes about relationships is MUCH more laid back and casual. His girlfriend (who IS CONFIRMED to be his girlfriend by Zach himself in the commentary videos, you can find it pretty easy on YouTube) is hardly ever mentioned and doesn't seem to hold much weight to him at all. To me, that whole thing with her being there kind of confirmed that Charlie casually hooks up with people/dates a lot, and doesn't really take it all that seriously. He doesn't have any intentions of settling down or moving in with anyone. Even in the ep where the fucken mustard chick was flirting with him, Charlie didn't seem to give two shits or even get a little flustered. He'd USED to that kind of stuff, where Pim isn't.

It's been a joke multiple times that even for a critter, Pim is perceived as pretty unattractive and weird looking 😭😭 and that's the biggest difference between them I think. Charlie is single BY CHOICE, while Pim is single because he can't get anyone who wants to long term date him.

If Charlie and Pim ever slept together or did anything, I think it would hold a lot more weight for Pim than it would for Charlie. Charlie is a fucking asshole! He doesn't show affection well, he's pretty inconsiderate of other people, he's very slobby and hardly takes care of himself. He wouldn't want to DATE pim the way that Pim would want to date Charlie. Pim would want to do all that mushy stuff that he's seen in movies that he's never been able to try, like holding hands and cuddling and going out to cute dinners.

CHARLIE WOULDN'T WANNA DO THAT! He's VERY CLEARLY SHOWN in canon to not be that kinda guy. He can hardly even think about himself, he doesn't have the time or want to expend the energy thinking about someone else on a daily basis. Just look at the fucking difference in their rooms--

They work at the same job at the same position, they should be making the same amount of money. And from the Brazil episode where they talk about funds, it doesn't seem like its a super lot. But Pim spent more time and money making his room look nice and his sheets and pillows match, somewhere with a nicer view and cute painted walls. Charlie just bought the cheapest, ugliest little shithole he could find.

You can fucking bet that they would not be good living together, that is if Charlie even wanted to live with him. You can literally see in the back that his sink is full of dirty dishes bro. He probably uses paper plates and plastic cups for everything so he doesn't have to do the dishes, you can bet he's always ordering nasty ass takeout food.

Also sorry, but like please open your eyes and look at the way Charlie treats Pim in the show. Obviously he cares about him and holds him as a dear friend, but he just is kinda a shitty person and doesn't do it very well a lot of the time. He's constantly fucking negative and rude, and it clearly takes a mental toll on Pim. Pim's always the one trying really hard to invite Charlie out to things, like in the alien episode. Pim just wants to hang out and tried to find something Charlie might like, and Charlie was grumpy and dismissive and tried to leave multiple times.

In the most RECENT EPISODE, he got in a physical fight with Alan and was being a dick about physical contact that he basically initiated. In the alien episode, Charlie was screaming at the aliens and ignored pim, ended up clocking him in the fucking face and didn't say a single word about it because HE WASN'T SORRY, HE DIDN'T FUCKING CARE.

they're both incredibly flawed people in completely opposite ways, and they'd both want entirely different things out of the other one. They'd both be trying to change each other, the way they literally already do in the show.

i love charpim more than anything with my entire soul, and im not trying to be a doomer about it, im just so sick of people potraying them like

Charlie: I... I like you... is that okay?

Pim: yes.... would it be okay if I kissed you?

LIKE GIRL WHAT ARE YOU SAYINGGGG THEY ARE GROWN ASS, DIRTY, GROSS MEN WITH DICK AND BALLS.

There was a whole episode where pim literally turned into a fucking crazy ass creature because he was so incredibly jealous of Charlie getting what PIM had wanted. Pim wanted to be a hero and help people and save the day and live out his little idealized world, and when CHARLIE got that and he didn't, it pissed him the fuck off. He wasn't happy for Charlie, Pim WANTED what Charlie had.

LIKE OH MY GOD, THEY'RE JUST SO DISFUNCTIONAL!!!

Their relationship would be fucking crazy and rocky and TOXIC, and that's like the whole appeal of it imo. that's literally how they act in canon. I think that the two of them could eventually work things out to be pretty happy, but it would NOT be without its hardships and it definitely would still never be anything even close to textbook.

THEY'RE FUCKING FREAKS IDK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also almost forgot, not even to mention Charlie's substance abuse and how its canonically shown he gets rude and violent. like r u kidding.

[rwrbficrecs]

Hope you all enjoy our recs for November ❤️ (even though they're a little late!!) Incenatus by @missgeevious (book/movie-verse)

@suseagull04: I can't recommend this fic enough! If you love Twilight and The Phantom of the Opera, this fic is for you! A mysterious masquerade, a soulmate connection, and chemistry that's off the charts all culminate to make this one of my new all-time favorite fics!

Meaning Something by bleedingballroomfloor (book-verse)

@dot524: Really enjoyed this Liam POV that goes deeper into what actually happened with Alex and Liam, his relationship with Spencer, and how Liam reacts to Alex & Henry during the book. The feelings & coming out are really well done.

Needy & Greedy by @clottedcreamfudge (book-verse)

@heybuddy-drabbles: It's been HELL of a month in good and bad ways so I didn't have time to read much. I'm choosing to recommend a series of unconnected one shots, all steamy and delicious and fun and short for casual reading when you don't have much time to commit to a 70k fic. If you like smut tis for you!

Taste the Way You Bleed by @cha-melodious (book-verse)

@myheartalivewrites: a super fun What We Do In the Shadows AU, written for the RWRB halloween fest. Alex and Henry are oblivious vampires, pining for centuries, and the rest of the super-six turn up in hilarious mockumentary-style interviews. The summary alone had me HOOKED.

Camp Llwynywermod by bleedingballroomfloor (book-verse)

@myheartalivewrites: one of my go-to for comfort, all time fave fics. Alex and Henry as co summer camp counsellors, pining and bickering for years. The tension is top notch!

@dot524: It’s funny and I really enjoyed the camp setting and their journey from enemies to friends to lovers. This is a fun and cute fic.

Downburst by @cricketnationrise (book-verse)

@rmd-writes: an AU of The West Wing ep 'In the Shadow of Two Gunmen' - mind the tags, this is an angsty but beautifully written fic with very clever use of multiple POVs to tell several stories of love (including platonic love). This is so good I was mad I didn't write several lines in it myself.

@thesleepyskipper: Truly an incredible and unique work that was done with care. The way the various memories/flashbacks are done and how they are used as part of the storytelling absolutely blew me away. Loved that we got multiple POVs here too!

Underground by @zwiazdziarka (book-verse)

@suseagull04: An adorable kid, fantasy (including mentions of fantasy classics!) and a rescue mission make this such a fun read! The world building in this fic is phenomenal too.

A Long Way From the Playground by @three-drink-amy (book-verse)

@dot524: This is a getting-back-together AU where Alex & Henry were childhood friends who grew apart in college and then unexpectedly are neighbors. I enjoyed the slow burn here and the payoff — it’s just a comforting feel-good fic!

Five-Drink Henry by @whimsymanaged (book-verse)

@daisymae-12: I was honestly already hooked from the title and the fic did not disappoint – so much so that I’ve reread it so many times the past month. Loved everything about this fic!!

The Domestication of Household Spiders by @cultofsappho (book-verse)

@daisymae-12: This was everything I didn’t know I needed from a spiderman AU! Loved it so much. There’s also 2 new recent fics published in this series – plenty of spiderman Alex to read!!

you make it look so easy, i know it's not by @anincompletelist (book-verse)

@daisymae-12: A really fun fic about Henry’s first American Thanksgiving not quite going to plan. I was already laughing from the summary alone

The great turkey calamity? by @smblmn (book-verse)

@zwiazdziarka: This fic tells us what is actually means to talk turkey and this once Cornbread is a star he deserves to be. It's crack, it's exsistential crisis, it's hilarious. Oh, and Alex and Henry fall in love here too.

Lay You Down by ronans (book-verse)

@inexplicablymine: when I tell you the fluff is fluffing, Henry runs a sleep YouTube and Alex is in his comment section and in his DM’s and in his head. Do yourself a favor if you need a sweet treat today and read this work

@thesleepyskipper: OMG this could not be any cuter. I loved the way we got to see their relationship grow as they got to know each other online. Truly an adorable, well-written story that will plaster a smile on your face throughout.

Risk is Just a Board Game by @three-drink-amy (book-verse)

@suseagull04: Angst, domestic fluff, college AU, the holidays- this fic has it all! A look at why friends with benefits isn't always the best idea that culminates in an ending reminiscent of a Hallmark movie.

On My Mind (Let's Go) by @sparklepocalypse (movie-verse)

@zwiazdziarka: contrary to popular fanon, Henry can dance and here he uses that to get what he wants on New Year's Eve party. No notes, just go and read it.

check out our past Monthly Faves here ❤️

[salisburyliam]

My WORST to BEST ranking for Desert Rose's LIs

NOTE 1: I have yet to finish Saeed's route but I don't think my opinion will change much once I do tbh

NOTE 2: I've ONLY played Jack and Cindy's routes until getting their respective achievements in season 2, ep. 7 - and Adil's in ep. 10. I haven't played season 3 with either of them, maybe my list would be very different if I did, but I'm not a big fan of this book to begin with & I REFUSE to read it one more time lmao

7. Saeed - If he didn't look like he was 15 maybe, maybe, he would be higher on the list. But honestly, I'm not quite sure why he's an LI. He's cute, but the "little brother vibe" kind of cute. Also, he has too few scenes for him to suddenly propose to Yasmin. As you can tell, not a fan. 3/10

6. Jaffar - The story of the bodyguard and his protégé would have been very interesting... had it been better executed. The fact that Jaffar literally calls her his "little sister" 🤢 and that there is no romantic interaction of any kind until s3 doesn't actually help. He's more of a background character. Really hot, tho. 4/10

5. Cindy - I'd have preferred Caroline as LI, I find her waaay more interesting & with a more distinct personality. Nothing against Cindy, I just get the feeling that the author never really knew what to do with her?? Their romance feels pretty meh imo 6/10

4. Adil - I KNOW this is going to be an unpopular opinion... but I find Adil very boring. There, I said it 🤷 When I first started this book I chose him as my initial LI not only because he is unquestionably one of the hottest LIs (not just in the book but in the whole app) but because it was obvious from the beginning he was the rebel - it seemed like a promising dynamic. But he literally disappears in the second season and when he comes back a thousand years later Zain has already hooked you (that's what happened to me at least lmao). He is the most beautiful man tho, and has the biggest 🍆 in the whole RC - change my mind. 7/10

3. Jack - I looove the flashbacks of when they were kids (the "woah" scene is so endearing) their friendship and how sweet & passionate he is with Yasmin. The dynamic between the two of them feels tender and warm throughout, and as a bonus I will say that they together have the most ADORABLE son ever. 7.5/10

i mean..... look at this little angel!!!!

2. Mustafa - I've talked about this before. If the dynamic + connection between Yasmin and him in s1 had been the same throughout the book, he would have been inarguably in the first place. But from season 2 onwards he literally is sidelined and when he returns he seems like a completely different character. Yet he remains an 8/10 for his sense of humor, love of watermelons and goats.

1. Zain - You can tell it's the author's favorite route because of how well written and thought out it is. There's undeniable chemistry between the two characters, Zain's constant dilemma, Yasmin becoming more and more interested in him but not wanting to admit it out loud, THE TENSION... I didn't even look twice at him in the first season (to this day his sprite still looks like a Disney villain to me, lol) but the second season is undeniably his and I love that he's an official sugar daddy. 9/10

[kadextra]

so on a whim I started reading omniscient reader’s viewpoint manhwa

..and got hooked on the story so hard that I easily blasted through all available eps in less than a week. istg they put dr*gs in this thing it’s so good???? 😭

[SPOILER WARNING! big ramble ahead. if you’ve never read it, leave this post. consider checking it out you won’t be able to put it down]

lets get this out of the way first.

RAHHHHHH KIM DOKJA….. KIM DOKJA I LOVE YOU

GUYSSSSS 🥺 LISTEN. HE’S SUCH A GOOD PROTAGONIST. MY TRAUMA BOY. MY DUDE WITH THE POWER TO INFODUMP PEOPLE TO DEATH. YOU SELF-SACRIFICING IDIOT. his cunning intelligence makes him super attractive what can I say, I LOVE smart mcs with ambiguous morality and self sacrificial nature

here’s a big ✨shut your mouth✨ to every character who’s said he’s ugly- get your eyes checked, get a job get away from him (I know it’s because of the fourth wall’s filter it’s not their fault I’m just being silly)

the fourth wall is such a cool power to have. the complexity of how it acts based on his perception of fiction vs reality as the reader …. that’s very interesting and well thought out!!! how it lowkey has a consciousness too and it’s so tied into his mental state makes me want to psychoanalyze this guy even more. probably one of the most unique powers I’ve seen created and explored in a story tbh

I think the entire system of how the world works is really well done in general. constellations watching the apocalyptic bloodbath via livestream and sending donos to their favorite little guys shouldn’t work as well as it does and cracks me up so much 😭 (uriel is the best). I enjoy learning about all the irl different fables, history & mythologies too. plus doing my own research is fun! I did a deep dive through the web to learn about dokkaebi folklore lol I’m having a good time

I also related hard to how dokja read TWSA throughout his life, the story was a companion for him. got choked up bc I reflected on how much my own favorite companion stories for years mean to me. there’s been situations I’ve thought “what would (character) do?” dokja saying stuff like “what would joonghyuk do?” felt like I got called out <3 I’d probably be the same as him if my favorite characters suddenly came to life

anyways yeah I caught up with the manhwa looked online and discovered it comes from an already completed novel with over 500 chapters and the manhwa is barely a third into adapting it though it’s been releasing every week for 4 years. and that it’ll take like 10 more years to finish. I then planted my face in my hands and screamed with despair

I’ll shrivel up waiting to see what happens……………heyyy woahhhh.. whats this light of salvation ? the novel file just completed download on my phone ? that’s crazyy wow I opened it ? im scrolling it right now ? omg I’m telling myself in the mirror “pace yourself, try to space your reading out do NOT read too fast” ?

jokes aside im excited, first I’ll take some time to read back through the earlier chapters for extra context of scenes! >:D after I finish doing that…. pls pray for my self-control to try stretching this for as long as possible. I’m pumped to see what happens next with this demon king part so maybe I’ll read along with the manhwa unless I get too impatient heh

to conclude- I had no idea the fandom of orv was so passionate. while closing my eyes to spoilers, I was looking at beautiful fanart and animatics (watched this one and ascended that’s one of my fav rin songs). I can tell how much you guys love the story, there’s always going to be people like me who get interested so keep it up :D if the fandom does end up reading this, ummm *knocks on the door* hi im new

I will likely talk about it more in the future!! tagging under “#kade reads orv” ! might draw fanart on my art blog too bc brainworms <3 happy reading everyone

[glompcat]

Following a heart attack during Memorial Day weekend (the weekend before last), my dad had a quadruple bypass on Tuesday. On Thursday my dad's heart stopped. He was fully conscious when it happened, and in fact only lost consciousness when his ICU nurse gave him drugs to knock him out and hopefully prevent him from remembering anything that was happening. He is hooked up to a respirator, so there was no oxygen lost to his brain during any of this. After 15 min. his heartbeat was stabilized and they took him to be examined, as the original thought was it could have been caused by either the cow valves or his new arteries not taking properly. A bad stitch was also proposed to us as a possible cause. None of those things were found, the surgery itself was a success.

Last night at 2:00 am my dad's heart stopped again. This time it took 12 minutes for him to be stabilized. Like the first time, he had come out of the sedation just the day before. He was fully conscious again as it happened, so the nurse gave him drugs to knock him out, and wow but I am hoping he really won't remember either of these incidents. I can not tell you how grateful I am that the state my parents live in has legistlation on the books mandating that ICU nurses never have more than two cases at a time.

Based on the second incident they are now saying it was probably down to an electrical misfire in his heart, and the EP (electrophysiologic) Cardiology team will be seeing him tomorrow to both figure out the exact cause and determine best next steps. As of now the options on the table as I understand them are further studies and/or numbing a faulty nerve and/or putting in a pacemaker and/or putting in an AICD device (implanted defibrillator).

My mother and I are currently trying to stay hopeful that the EP will be able to figure out what is going wrong with my dad's electrical impulses and fix whatever it is. All of that said, it is really hard to see him in the ICU day after day, especially since with the exception of Wednesday and late in the day yesterday he has been sedated and unconscious since the surgery. The toll this recovery is taking on my mother and I emotionally is far larger then I had expected it to before his surgery.

We are currently camped out in a hotel room near the hospital (Who opens a theme B&B across the street from a regional feeder hospital? You have a captive audience already, who don't want themeing at the expense of functionality. Based on conversations during breakfast EVERYONE is there because a smaller hospital sent a loved one to the place across the street when they determined the case was outside their capabilities) and talk of little else together. Spending every single day with her (during Pride! This is my Pride month!) freaking out about my dad's condition has been A LOT. A very banal example of what happens when you spend multiple days with your mother like this: yesterday she complained that I snore, and then followed that up by (in the literal exact tone she cooed at me as a baby) telling me that it is a "very cute" snore. This was even less amusing to me because my mother snores and her snore is just awful. This is of course to say nothing of us setting each other off when we are upset because we are on top of each other all day every day.

[hellofeanor]

Who wants a cosplay breakdown of the Annatar outfit from the Rings of Power trailer, based on all information I've been able to find so far? Nobody? I don't care. You're getting it anyway. With a bunch of poor quality over-zoomed reference images.

COME OVER-ANALYZE THINGS WITH ME!

What colour is this fucker? At first I was convinced that black and gold was a bit too on the nose, and thought that surely it had to be extremely dark brown or blue or something. But then I saw some higher res images and remembered that this is also the show that put feathers on Elrond's shirt and made Gil-galad All Gold All the Time. In this pic below, you can see some subtle colour variations in the leather bits, but the robe still looks black. So I'm gonna go with yes, this outfit is indeed black and gold.

2. What's it made of? Shoulder feathers/leaves: leather. Robe: looks like a low-ish pile velvet to me, painted with a large gold linework pattern. Under sleeves: possibly a lightweight wool? Sash: unsure, might also be velvet but of an even lower pile cotton variety. Belt: probably leather.

3. What do you mean by 'sash'? Okay so this is a weird detail. At first I thought this was a robe with a qipao-style side opening, and the bright vertical stripe of gold we see is trim on that opening. But no, I don't think that's trim at all. You can see it kiiiiiiind of move and ripple in a way that indicates it's not actually attached to the garment at all, and from the back, you can see there's a piece that drapes over his shoulder and ends in... a cute lil tassel. I think this is literally a table-runner style sash that hangs over his right shoulder and falls down the front, tucked into the belt. What does it look like at the bottom? No clue yet, since we haven't seen a full length view of this outfit. But I'm sincerely hoping it's another goofy tassel.

4. What's the sash made of? As mentioned above, base fabric may be low pile velvet. And it's covered in highly reflective gold leaf. The design looks dull in some lighting but very gold in other cases. You can see that the gold leaf looks worn and is less intact in some places than others. There appears to be a short repeat to the design.

5. Shape of the robe? This one's tough since we don't have a view of the whole thing yet. So this is me guessing based on a couple clues. I'm going to guess that it's floor length, if he's trying to fit in with other Eregion elves here. It's a similar slim silhouette to what we see on Celebrimbor. And another Celebrimbor-adjacent detail is... I'm not sure if this robe has separate sleeves or if they're just built right in and extend from the shoulders. Celebrimbor's ep 8 forge outfit has contiguous sleeves, and based on the way the shoulders lie and the underarms kind of bunch up, I'm wondering if this is the same.

6. Continuing on with the sleeves: they have a little T-shaped cuff detail, with trim around the edge that originally thought was large beads similar to what we see on Halbrand's ep 8 shirt, but I now think might be braid. Large, reflective black beads are scattered about the cuff as well.

7. The under sleeve looks like a matte black fabric with a very slight fuzziness to it. It's somewhat elongated, covering the entire wrist and wrinkling up over the forearm. More black beads/rhinestones concentrated around the cuff, thinning out as they move upward.

8. Finally: belt. Wide gold leather(?) with interwoven braided detail and circle/ring motifs inside the gaps of the braid. Fastens on the front left with a mechanism that isn't visible. Possibly hooks. Belt is snug enough to cinch the robe and sash in place, and sits above the natural waist.

9. In conclusion: how does this all go on? Well, the belt is the only thing we can see that has a closure. Everything else is guesswork. Those undersleeves are fitted enough that they may actually have an invisible zipper in the seam. A little seam divot is visible on the inner arm.

No visible closure (yet) on the robe or leather shoulder armour. My guess is the leather fastens up either the right side or the back, and the closure is hidden by his hair and the overlapping feather/leaf pieces. As for the robe, it could either fasten up the back (as most of Celebrimbor's outfits must do) or have a small opening at the front neckline (like Halbrand's ep 8 shirt). Either option would be hidden by the leather. But since the front of the robe is so perfectly flat and the leather doesn't extend down all that far, I'm going with back opening as the more likely option.

And there we go. Everything I've been able to figure out about this costume so far in the (checks calendar) six days since it dropped and I became obsessed with it. There's a very high chance that after I post this I'll either think of something else I forgot to mention or discover another new and infuriating detail, but let's leave it at this for now and I'll reblog again with additions as they come up.

Also with my progress because obvs I'm going to make this.

[mikuni14]

We Are - Ep 4

PhumPeem As a shallow person who forgives a lot of characters if they are played by a pretty actor, and as a boomer raised on toxic yaoi manga, this couple is still in my first place 🤡 I look at them with mixed feelings. Hope, because Phum improved a lot in this episode, he apologized - even several times, but most importantly, he said that he was an asshole, didn't look for excuses and tried to make amends. This is crucial for me: not only an apology, but also awareness of what has been done, owning it and compensation (which I mentioned many times during DFF analyses, because THIS was missing there). But I also don't trust them yet, because PondPhuwim had their other series start off quite well, only to disgust me later with the inequalities and simple toxicity in relationships (and yes, even their prettyness didn't help lol). PhumPeem as of this episode have a dynamic that I like, that is, they are both strong characters, with an air of adulthood mixed with a childish banter, acts of service and mutual attraction mixed with keeping a distance and lingering distrust on Peem's part. Plus a "handsome big bad boy" in engineering and a "beautiful artist" - as a yaoi boomer, I am completely defenseless against such a couple 🤡 What intrigues me about them is that they are clearly interested in each other, they are probably types for each other and if it weren't for the stupid and unfortunate beginning of their relationship, it's quite possible that they would have already had their first hook-up and their relationship would be more adult and in my style, and their problems would be more problems of mature people. I'm a little concerned about the speed at which this relationship is moving, knowing that there are 16 episodes. Good lord, what are they thinking of to fill 11 episodes when the boys will probably kiss in the next one? I can only imagine 😬

QToey A very enjoyable pairing that started for me with the scene in the last episode where Q is possessive and doesn't let anyone take care of Toey. I admit that I'm not a big fan of this couple, probably because Q is too dominant in this relationship for me, due to his character, personality and the fact that I like him A LOT. But I'm starting to warm up to them 😉

TanFang Pretty much the same situation: Tan dominates this couple so much for me that I don't see them as a couple at all yet. Besides, I don't really know what Fang's feelings and intentions are, because there simply isn't enough of him.

ChainPun I'm not interested in this couple ngl. Characters like Pun have to have really well-written roles so as not to come off as irritating or cartoonish (something like Khem from The Sign), or so that this kind of personality type doesn't dominate the ENTIRE character.

After 4 episodes, I can say that I'm most interested in Peem, Q and Tan, their relationship, their friendship, their lives, their characters. This is actually pretty funny because they are SO interesting to me that I am more fascinated by their interactions with each other than with their respective partners 😄 (with the exception of Phum, who is a strong enough character to be able to match Peem). But I freely admit that the most interesting scenes in this episode belonged to these three and had nothing to do with romance 😉

👆This was actually the best scene from this episode 😆

[thatgirl4815]

Intimacy & Communication (Ep6)

Once again, there’s been a lot of talking, and a lot of talking within said talking, and now all hell has broken loose. Everybody is in shambles. I'm in shambles. We're all in shambles. And it will only get worse from here. 🥲

*Note: Since this meta is slowly becoming a series, you can find the other metas here

SandRay

I suppose we have Boston to thank for Sand and Ray’s communication issues; prior to this episode, I think they’ve maintained a reasonably healthy communication style—even if it was destined to implode at some point with the whole “We say we’re friends but we feel like more than friends.” I think Boston has just sped things along at an uncomfortable rate.

It’s interesting because Sand and Ray’s closeness is solid when they're alone, but the moment their relationship is known, it's immediately thrown into turmoil. It's also upsetting that Sand, someone we know to have a very direct approach to communication (not unlike Ray), is very closed off in Ep6. I'm thinking specifically of the Pool Scene (a label that should not be confused with the KinnPorsche Pool Scene™, whose name shall live in infamy).

It occurred to me while rewatching this scene that this is one of the only, if not the only, time we see Sand and Ray talk about anything but their relationship to each other. They haven't often mentioned the other characters because up to this point, the drama hasn't forced them to.

That fact alone gives this scene a certain chill. There's no sign of their usual flirtiness. And Sand is noticeably resistant to Ray's efforts to straighten things out since the fight with Boston. Sand is lost in his own anger, in feeling used by Ray and unwanted, and that reaction is reflected in every part of this scene. Ray clearly reads between the lines on what Sand says about Mew, and once again wants to speak directly about it. He knows Sand is bothered, even when he says he isn't. Whatever casual "We're just friends" comments Sand used before are clearly not at play anymore. Ray and Sand both know that Sand cares, long before Sand is direct about it--

This scene shows a bit of a flip in terms of how both Ray and Sand respond to each other, specifically when it comes to honesty. Ray is the one who has just blown up in anger, and he's the one lying, calling Sand a whore who only wants his money, who doesn't have honest dreams, etc. But Sand is direct this time. No jokes or flirts. It's an admission that both Sand and Ray have known about, but it's something that Ray needs to hear, because a) he hears it so little in his life and b) because the more lonely he feels, the more reason he has to get in his car and risk himself.

Excited to see where this goes with Sand comparing his relationship with Ray to Ray's relationship with alcohol next ep. In any case, I'm glad Sand is aware of the position that he is in. All of these characters are very cognizant of their situations.

TopMew

Top and Mew pose a stark contrast to SandRay in that they go from seemingly very solid communication and intimacy to very negative. My key takeaway from their plot line this episode is how Mew keeps his anger over Top's infidelity buried until they're in bed together. Which, from an entertainment standpoint, is just glorious. From a communication standpoint, it seems to bring everything full circle.

Sex has caused a lot of tension in Top and Mew's relationship. It's been a power play from Mew when he's withheld it, but last episode we saw that barrier finally break. But Mew takes back control here through the truth, and he effectively turns the tables on Top, calling back to the very thing he had hang ups about in the first place: sex.

We already know how Mew views sex. And we also know that Mew has gradually transformed Top's view of sex as something to build emotional intimacy. So for Top to have hooked up with Boston is like a slap in the face to all of that careful development. When Top had sex with Boston, the act alone seemed to confirm that Mew isn't enough for Top.

It's also worth noting just how quiet Top is in the last scene. He takes the blows, which is a good sign, compared to what we get from Boston. I compare this scene between Top and Mew with the one between Ray and Boston, where Ray admits to knowing about Boston and Top's hookup--Boston gets defensive immediately, rattling off excuses. But Top just takes the hits from Mew.

Top knows he was wrong. Boston knows that others think he's wrong, but I don't think he genuinely thinks there is anything wrong. He knows Mew won't get over it easily because that's just how Mew is--uptight, moralistic. Boston's own morals are incredibly loose, just like his approach to relationships. On the topic of morals, I'd say Boston and Mew's are on opposite sides of the spectrum.

BostonNick

Nick tries time and time again to be someone special to Boston, and time and time again Boston makes it clear that he doesn't care. From Boston telling Nick that he wants to spend time with him before he leaves, to harshly telling his friends that he isn't in a relationship with Nick--right in front of Nick--is just heartbreaking. (Seriously, the scene of Mew kicking Boston into the pool can't come soon enough.)

We get some insights into Boston's upbringing with the introduction of his father, who seems to possess a very similar mindset to Boston's. I could go on a whole other rant about this, but Boston approaches everything loosely because he thinks he won't face pressing consequences. He's going to leave the country, so if he screws some people over and makes some enemies, what's the harm? He'll be gone soon enough anyway.

I could also go on a rant about the glaring hypocrisy of Boston saying he can't be friends with someone who would record him...I go back and forth between thinking he's a cunning manipulator and a stupid college kid. Surely he must see the hypocrisy there...but if he does, he probably doesn't care (as with most things).

I've compared Nick to Sand before, but Nick has been shut down by Boston on countless occasions, and yet he still stays. For Boston, who has proven time and time again that he enjoys manipulating people, ruining relationships, recording his friends, and sleeping around. Nick knows all of this all too well. And yet.

Nick, I'm starting to lose some sympathy for you. Leave. Him.

[a-fantasy-lover-surfing-the-net]

Till the end of the moon review

I recently rewatched the drama and felt like reviewing the first Cdrama I ever watched. After watching some cdramas in the past 7 months since I first watched the drama, I now trust myself to write a decent enough review after somewhat familiarizing myself with the genre and overall cdrama space.

Rating: 9.5/10 (1000 bonus points for searing itself in my mind and staying there even after 7 months)

Acting: 10/10

Story: 9/10

Chemistry: 100000000/10

OST: 10/10

Costumes: 10/10

Hair & Makeup: 9.5/10

Production/Set Design: 10/10

Visual Effects/CGI: 10/10

Rewatch Value: 10/10

Li Susu, an immortal time travels 500 years into the past to prevent the ascension of the Devil god, who goes on to destroy the world in the future. It's a story of love and hate, good and evil, redemption and damnation. The characters are very well conceptualized and depicted beautifully by talented actors, stunning costumes, really good hair and makeup, and great cinematography. The amazing production and set design along with impressive visual effects and CGI really immerse the audience in the world of TTEOTM. This was a high budget drama and it shows... each and every frame of the drama, it feels lavish. If you are even a little bit interested go watch the first episode and l promise you'll be hooked and end up finishing the drama.

Now unto my spoiler filled thoughts:

I find it interesting that the typical backstory themes and some character arcs of the male lead and the female lead have been swapped here. The FL usually has a dead parent or abusive household or terrible luck and so on. The ML usually comes to the FL's rescue or stands up for her and so on. We all know that Tantai Jin is Disney Princess coded given his dead mother, abusive and neglectful upbringing and his animal telepathy powers. LSS both as Ye Xiwu and LSS repeatedly saves TTJ and stands for him. While TTJ also saves her many times, he does not get a chance to stand up for her because she usually takes care of herself and she is not suspected or wrongfully accused where she would need someone to support her. Also, TTJ basically became a part of LSS's family as her uncle took him under his wing and he promised to stay in Hengyang Sect with her in ep 35 before all hell breaks loose. And who can forget that LSS marks TTJ with her Phoenix mark, typical ML behavior.

Their romance is my ultimate enemies to lovers pairing. It has just the right amount of fighting, messiness, animosity and angst for me. I feel that other pairings don't have enough of it for me to consider them as an enemies-to-lovers couple. Their visuals, their chemistry, their acting and the story everything was so great. Who else has three epic weddings in one drama? I am still not able to move on from this couple and drama.

While the misunderstandings were obviously supposed to lead to a turning point in the story, I feel like it was in character for them to jump to conclusions and assume the worst without fully thinking things through and which then led to them acting rashly. I mean both TTJ and LSS had bad history between them so in the early stages of their relationship where their trust in each other was shaky, it's understandable that they were prone to misunderstandings. Also, they're both not good at communicating with each other. In the mortal arc, LSS was never fully honest with TTJ and they never addressed their past misdeeds properly (like OG Ye Xiwu was very cruel to TTJ and he never talked to her about it and just brushed it off). In the immortal arc, TTJ deceived LSS when he became the Devil God.

For the most part the story was gripping, progressed at a good pace and conveyed many themes that become apparent on rewatches. Though it was obvious that the last 5 episodes and the ending were rushed because the censorship rules changed as they went into production. This was one of those dramas that needed at least 5-10 more episodes to properly flesh out the story. It was a missed opportunity that we didn't get to see LSS ruling the Demon realm and Ami's antics.

Another victim of the decreased episode count is the arc of the second leads. Tbh, I wish that Pian Ran and Ye Qingyu were the SLs but I think I would have enjoyed seeing the complete character arc of Xiao Lin/Gongye Jiwu and Ye Bingchang/Mo Nv and the resolution between them. That said it was appalling that they didn't bring back Pian Ran and Ye Qingyu in the immortal arc. I really missed their dynamic with each other and with the main leads. It is disappointing that they didn't even get an open/ambiguous ending to give us some closure and satisfaction.

The actress did a phenomenal job in making us hate her as Ye Bingchang and Tian Huan. Those characters as villians really worked as they were in a way the ones who had the markings of the female lead (these characters at the start of their stories could easily be heroines in any other story) but they turn into villians. Tantai Minglang was a good, serviceable villian and the actor did a lot with how little he was given. Di Mian was selfish and manipulative traitor who was almost scarily competent. I mean he did achieve what he wanted by becoming the Devil God and opening the Tongbei formation. The point of Devil God as a villian is not his character and his motivations but rather he represents our inner demons and how each of us has the power to overcome them.

Out of all the dramas I've watched, only TTEOTM's entire OST is on my regular playlist to listen to. Every time I listen to "Let's be like this for 10,000 years", I feel the love and tragedy of Sang Jui and Ming Ye's story all over again. It's impressive that a song can make you relive those feelings and the story every time you listen to it. All the songs fit wonderfully in the scenes they're played over and also make us feel those emotions again when listening to them separately.

On my first watch, the dream arc felt a little out of place and jarring, which, in hindsight, was probably due to the fact that it was my first cdrama. Upon rewatch I've come to appreciate that it gives a look into the age of Gods and it shows that the Devil God was so powerful that to stop him the Gods had to sacrifice themselves and only Ming Ye was able to survive. The action sequences here are just magnificent to watch and they definitely seem movie level. It also serves as a warning to the audience, LSS and TTJ that they could also have a tragic end if they don't learn the lessons from it. Unfortunately, in the mortal arc they did have a tragic end. However, in the immortal arc, TTJ is able to learn from his experience as Ming Ye and succeeds in defeating the OG Devil God and becoming the Devil God himself with control over his own destiny.

One of the most prominent themes of the drama is redemption and that love and compassion are powerful enough to change a person's fate. The themes of Taoism and Buddhism are evoked throughout the drama. There are also many other minor themes like the food is used as a guesture kindness (when LSS first gives TTJ a proper meal), affection/care (when TTJ gave LSS the goose themed meal), love (when LSS gives badly cooked meals to TTJ), betrayal and trickery (the poisoned porridge) and comraderie, friendship, brotherhood and familial love (when TTJ shares meals with his sect brothers and master). Both TTJ and LSS have dead moms, terrible fathers and great adoptive dads (Zhao You and Qu Xuan Zi), these are just some observations I made.

I may not love the ending but I don't hate it either as it was obvious to me that they reunite once again and live happily as a family (the audio ending really makes it clear). Even though I'm irritated we don't get to see it, I'm still satisfied that we get a hopeful ending rather than a tragic one.

Until now I've mostly been lurking in fandom spaces by liking and very rarely commenting and reblogging but never posting my own original post. The fact that my first ever post is on TTEOTM shows how much I love it. I'll probably be posting more TTEOTM analysis stuff so be on the look out for that if you're interested. Also, I welcome your recommendations as I'm still a newbie to cdramas and kdramas.

You can also check out my costumed cdrama rankings here.

[offside-the-lines]

tell me who i run to (if not you) | anthony beauvillier | Ep 3. Pal-entine's Day

This is a completed series! Read Full Fic | 🧸 Series Cover Page/Masterlist 🧁 | 🎵 Playlist 🎶 << Previous Episode || Ep 3 || Next Epissode>>

Episode synopsis:Tito returns her kindness by being a shoulder Evie can lean on when she is having a hard time after all-star break. She tells him it’s anxiety about work. He brings her a box of pastries and they cuddle on the couch all day; he doesn’t realize it’s Valentine’s Day. Later, a hook-up goes very wrong.

A/N: You can refer to cover page for the series summary, author's notes, tropes, general warnings and other fun tidbits. This series contains mature themes. Minors DNI. Warnings: This episode contains mentions of a past toxic relationship and sex that occurs off screen. Disclaimer: This series is set in Chicago but does not mention the name of the team.

Word count: 4.8k // 44.5k

Requests (open) | Masterlist & Who I Write For | Join My Taglistist

Pal-entine’s Day

Evie — February 10

It’s late when Evie finishes work for the day. She rubs her eyes and finishes her cup of tea, which is now less than lukewarm. She sighs. This was kind of her own doing. She didn’t work as much as she should’ve in January, especially in the week that Tito stayed over, which means she’s feeling more behind than she would like them to be. Not to mention, this latest work she was editing was full of so many glaring issues that the document has more comments than text at this point.

She puts her phone down and rests her head on the table. 

She doesn’t regret it. Tito had been clearly so down in the dumps after his wrist injury. She had taken him to the different museums, touristy sights, and fun restaurants around town that she had been meaning to get to; she had thought that she would catch up on her work when he was in Florida with his brother’s family during Bye Week. 

She doesn’t regret it because their adventures brightened his mood every time, his glowing smile seared on the inside of her eyelids. She thinks about the time she had taken him to the Skating Ribbon in Maggie Daley Park on a particularly bad day. 

He had come back from the rink dejected after being told he couldn’t join no-contact practice yet. He had been cleared to skate, though. So, the joy on his face when he stepped onto the ice again, even if it was a park and not an NHL arena, made them both feel a hundred pounds lighter.

She doesn’t regret it. It’s just that— Unfortunately, her plan to catch up on work during Bye Week didn't happen. The day after Tito left for Florida, her apartment felt startlingly empty. 

It reminded her of when she had first moved to Chicago. She had just a couple of boxes and suitcases. She left behind all the remnants of her life with Pierre. Those plates, pillows, and knickknacks didn’t feel like they belonged in her life anymore. That’s why she moved, right? To get a clean start at age 28. 

It wasn’t just stuff she had left behind. It was her whole life, a life that had looked increasingly foreign in those final months anyway. All of their friends, all of their stuff, all of their memories. He could keep them. She just wanted out.

Those first months in Chicago had felt so lonely, living without anyone else for the first time ever. It was hard to make friends in a new city, so she spent a lot of time just in her apartment. The thought kept creeping into her head that she would probably be alone forever and regret leaving her seemingly perfect relationship behind in Toronto. 

She downloaded and deleted Bumble probably ten times in the first few months.

Eventually, she met Kelsey, Leanne, and the others at a work-sponsored holiday party. They were unhappy that she hadn’t reached out sooner. So, with them dragging her out of her house a few times a week to whatever restaurant, bar, or event, she eventually settled into life in Chicago. Looking back, she’s not quite sure when her one-bedroom apartment started to feel like home.

That's why she’s so shocked to find herself once again feeling unsettled. Her sleep hasn’t been great either, making her sluggish and heavy. In the week or so since Tito left for Florida, she has only left her house twice. Both of them were to see him play when he returned to the lineup after the All-Star break. 

When she looks around her apartment, she can see the small pile of his clothes that sits at the far end of the couch. She had washed them while he was away and folded them so they would be clean when he came back. 

That was a week ago. 

She’s happy that he’s back at training and back in the line-up. She appreciates the rigorous schedule that he's sticking to to get back to the top of his game. 

She understands that means she takes a back seat. It’s just that she wishes a little part of her didn’t resent it or herself for missing his company that she didn’t know she had gotten so used to.

She doesn’t pester him, though, not when he was on vacation and not now that he’s been back training. He still texts her every day, and she tries not to get too excited when he does, being mindful to not be too suffocating and demanding of his time and attention.

She figures it’s probably not a bad idea to realign her priorities: to focus on her work and on the book that she wants to finally finish soon.

Tito — February 14

Tito watches as the sky begins to lighten and decides to just give up on going back to sleep. He reaches over and checks his phone. 

5:48 am. 

Great. 

He unlocks his phone, which opens to the text thread with Evie he had been staring at after the game last night.

Monday, 4:46 pm evie 🧁: sorry, i don’t think i’ll be coming to the game tomorrow. i’m just totally under water with work right now. To evie 🧁: damn, that sucks. i’m sorry. do you want me to come over with some dinner tonight? To evie 🧁: or after the game tomorrow?

He didn’t receive a reply until past midnight that night.

Yesterday, 1:18 am evie 🧁: nah, it’s okay To evie 🧁: good morning to you too. how're you doing? work hasn’t killed you right? i can bring over some lunch. i bet you havent been eating much. Read

He quickly swipes out of his messages and locks his phone again. 

He stares out the window. They have only known each other for less than two months, but not hearing from Evie for so long throws him off-kilter.

This is so unusual, given their typical rhythm, that even if work has been busy, he’s worried, and underneath the worry, he’s confused. It seemed unlike Evie to not be open with him about whatever was bothering her— at least, he thought she was.

A little while later, he finds himself sitting in front of her favorite bakery on his way to her apartment. He waits for the clock to hit 9 a.m. before he heads in and picks up breakfast for them both: a selection of pastries and two coffees. It’s busier than he expects, but there are still plenty of their favorites left. 

He’s been to Evie’s building enough times now that the doorman recognizes him and buzzes him up the elevator straight away with a nod. It’s only when he's standing outside her door that he realizes he should've probably texted beforehand to make sure she was free.

Too late now. Tito rings her doorbell, his heart in his throat as he listens for any sound inside.

Somewhere between 30 seconds and 10 minutes later, he hears some shuffling, and the door opens slowly. Standing in the entryway is Evie rubbing her eyes with the sleeve of his Canucks hoodie, sleep shorts barely peaking out under the hem. He rips his eyes away from the soft skin of her legs. 

She startles when she sees him, her eyes wide. Her messy hair and fuzzy slippers only intensify the warm fondness buzzing in his chest.

“Um, hi,” she says, stepping aside to wave him in. “What’s all this?”

“Nice hoodie,” he beams at her, a crooked smile tugging on the corner of his lips.

“What?” She looks down and immediately covers her face with her hands. “Oh shit, this is yours. I was just grabbing the first hoodie I saw, and it was sitting on my— I’m sorry, do you want it back? I can go change.”

“Hey,” he says gently, setting the food down on the kitchen counter. “No, keep it on. I can’t really wear it out anymore, and it looks good on you.”

She cracks a smile for the first time this morning.

“Here, I brought you some breakfast and coffee— peppermint mocha, half sweet, with oat milk. I figured you might need something stronger with all the late nights you’ve been working.”

She stares at him silently for a long time before reaching for the coffee and whispering a quiet, “Thanks.”

He smiles at her and pulls her in for a quick hug, feeling some of the tightness in his chest melt away as he breathes in her scent. As he pulls back, he waves her to the couch.

“Go, sit.” He pushes her gently. “I’ll bring over the food.”

As if on cue, her stomach grumbles. “What did you get? Oh! Oooh! Good Ambler. My favorite,” she says excitedly, finally looking more like herself.

He smiles to himself as he puts the food down on the coffee table. “Yeah, I know! I got us the quiche and a bunch of their pastries.” He opens the box and watches as her eyes light up.

She laughs, “Wow, you really went all out.” 

“I guess I did,” he shrugs.

They eat in a comfortable silence for a while, both deep in thought. It’s been a few days since Tito has set foot in her apartment. He feels more at home here than in his own place. There are touches of Evie everywhere. 

She has shelves next to the TV console that are covered in books. There are at least five more books spread around the room. Her fuzzy blanket is draped across the back of the couch. There are candles on her coffee table, sitting next to colorful coasters with bad book puns on them. Unhung art and posters are leaning against the bottom of the walls. The space is so clearly lived in and loved.

Although, as he looks around, he can see the signs that things might be a bit off. There are dirty dishes piled up in the sink when there usually wouldn’t be any. There are stacks of papers spread across various surfaces. A box next to the bin for the overflowing trash. He counts at least seven mugs of mostly drunk tea around the space.

He frowns.

“So,” he starts cautiously, “how've you been?” He winces at how awkward that sounds.

“Oh, you know. Same old, same old. Busy? I guess mainly.” She stares at the muffin in her hands, pointedly avoiding his skeptical expression.

He sighs and reaches over, his broad hand lightly covering her wrist. “Hey, I feel like something has been off recently, and I want to know what’s going on. Is it just work that’s been crazy? Or is there something else?”

Evie looks up at him finally; their eyes meet, both assessing the other. He can see the dark circles that dull her tired eyes, her expression pained.

“Yeah, I’ve just been having trouble getting stuff done. But it’s not a big deal. It’s fine, though. I can handle it.” She frowns and picks at the remaining half of the muffin. 

“Hey,” Tito says gently. He reaches out, takes the muffin, and puts it down before taking her hands in his. The movement makes them turn to each other. “It’s okay if you’re struggling. Just tell me how I can help. I won’t judge you, okay?”

She shakes her head, tugging her hands back and hugging them to her body. “Yeah, I know, but I’m okay. I don’t want to be a pain—”

“Evie,” he says gently, “Asking for help doesn’t make you a pain. Look, we’re friends, right? You were there for me last month when I was having a really bad time. And now I want to be here for you. You should let me help where I can. Or at least tell me what’s wrong. I can’t guarantee I’ll always say or do the right thing, but I’ll listen, and I’ll try to help where I can, okay?”

She looks at him, searching his face for a lie and not finding one in his open and caring expression. “Okay,” she whispers with a small smile.

“Okay.”

He hands her back her muffin, and they finish up their breakfast. He takes their trash to the kitchen, and despite her complaints, he does the dishes as he makes them both a cup of tea.

When he sits back down on the couch, he finally speaks again, “So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong? Or at least, if there’s anything I can do to help?”

She heaves a big sigh but does smile at him warmly before settling into the couch. “I guess I just had a kinda bad week last week? I'm kinda behind on stuff, and I got really in my head about it. Remember how I told you I moved here after a bad breakup? Well…” She shrugs.

“You don’t need to explain if you don’t want to. I know it sucks. I mean, I haven’t dated anyone seriously since before the pandemic. But we actually broke up like January 2020, so those first few months in lockdown were really rough. Just bad feelings and a whole lot of time.” 

She looks up at him, “Oh. I had no idea.”

“It’s not a big deal. That was quite a few years ago at this point, anyway. I’m over it now, but— I’m just saying that I know it can be hard.”

“Yeah,” she nods, fiddling with her mug before finally saying, “Honestly, I’m not that bummed about the breakup. It wasn’t bad or anything. Or at least nothing bad happened. Things just sort of just… I don’t know. I was just feeling like shit all the time.

“By the time I left, I had already been mentally checked out for a while, so I wasn’t really sad at all anymore. It was mainly hard because our lives were so entwined. 

“We had gone to grad school together, and we were working at the same company. We had all the same friends, and everyone loved him, you know? So, it was hard to leave that behind.”

He reaches out and squeezes her knee, encouraging her to keep talking.

“It’s just… I hate it, feeling like I’m falling behind.”

“Like on work?”

She nods weakly.

“Well, if it’s anything I’ve had to learn in my career, you’re more than your productivity. You don’t need to be perfectly productive all the time to be contributing something.”

“Yeah… it’s just that—” Evie sighs.

“What?”

She swallows heavily and looks out the window. “It’s just that… I hate feeling behind at work because it makes me feel like I’m behind on my career. And that’s really all I have right now. After— Like, I’m 28 years old, and what do I have to show for it.”

He studies her face and squeezes her knee again, drawing her gaze back to him. “Who told you that?”

“What?”

“Who told you that you’re behind on life?”

“Well… Pierre? I guess. My ex. He used to talk about success milestones—”

“Success what?” he interrupts.

She powers on. “Just, like, things I should accomplish by a certain age. And when I left, you know? I set back my life? Single again. Starting over. And when I left, Pierre kinda pointed that out. And all I have left is my career— a struggling career.”

“Okay, honestly?” He says, fuming, “Fuck Pierre. Like, what the fuck is that?”

“No,” she shakes her head, chewing on her bottom lip, “No. I don’t— He’s right.”

“He isn't right.” He's sitting up now, fully facing her. “He's not— Firstly, your career isn't struggling. You have a job you enjoy, and from everything I’ve heard from Kelsey and Leanne, you’re fucking good at it. You’re making progress with finishing your book every week, which is awesome. I see you working your ass off all the time. And on top of all that, you're a great fucking friend. And a great fucking person.”

He shakes his head and sighs loudly. “Evie, you don’t have to complete some stupid made-up checklist to be successful. Only you get to decide what counts as success in your life. That's the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. Honestly, Evie, I'm saying this as your friend, fuck Pierre for making you feel lesser and smaller with this bullshit.”

She looks at him, her face betraying her surprise at his outburst. His cheeks are warm and probably a little flushed, but he doesn’t care. He can feel the anger in his veins, opening and closing his fists to dispel some of the energy.

“I guess?” she says finally. “Pierre’s really not a bad guy. He’s a good person. We just— He just wasn’t a good fit for me.”

“Okay,” he concedes, silently disagreeing with her assessment.

“Thanks, though. For saying that. It means a lot.” She reaches out and squeezes his clenched fists. “Thank you. I'm okay, really. Overall, in the grand scheme of things, anyway. I’m sorry I didn’t come to your game yesterday.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to come to every game. It’s just an offer.” He smiles softly. “I mean, I’d love to have you there, obviously, but I’ll understand if you don't.”

“Okay,” she smiles back.

“So, do you think you can take today off? I think you might be a little burnt out.”

She sighs and looks at her phone, the emails trickling in. She knows she has the time; she always makes herself finish far earlier than whatever deadline her director gives her. She fires off a quick message to the group, telling them she’s taking a mental health day, before putting her phone face down on the coffee table.

“Yeah,” she smiles, “I can take today off.”

“Good,” he beams. He puts his arm around Evie’s waist and pulls her into his side. He reaches for the remote. “That’s good because I haven’t seen any Brooklyn Nine-Nine in like two weeks, and I know the next episode is a Halloween heist episode, and it’s been killing me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, dummy. That’s our show. I can’t watch it without you.”

She laughs, “Okay.”

He puts on the show, smiling as it plays the cold open. He turns to her and tugs her in closer.

“Hey, Evie?”

“Yeah?”

“Please just tell me what’s bothering you next time, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. I will. I promise.” She smiles up at him from his side, and he feels his chest tighten.

A few episodes later, they've slid down on the couch so that she’s almost lying on top of him. He looks down at her head on his chest to see her sound asleep. He pauses the show and pulls out his phone.

To jason dickinson: yo, do you have any more restaurant recs? evie’s been having a rough week, i’m thinking maybe taking her out for dinner today might cheer her up jason dickinson: eyyyyyyy get it!!!!!! To jason dickinson: ????? get what??? jason dickinson: uh? is this a trick question?  To jason dickinson: no? jason dickinson: a date? laid? idk To jason dickinson: WHAT?!!!! jason dickinson: you’re asking for a date spot right? To jason dickinson: wtf jason, no. we’ve been through this. we’re just friends. jason dickinson: riiiiiiight. just friends who ask for a date spot on valentine’s day

Tito’s eyes widen as he glances at the calendar app on his phone.

February 14.

Valentine’s Day.

Fuck.

Next to him, Evie stirs, yawning.

“Hey,” she says, her voice muffled, “You paused the show?”

“Yeah, you fell asleep.”

She chuckles. “I guess I did.” She looks up at him and frowns. “What’s up, Tito? You got a weird look on your face.”

“Oh, um. I just realized what day it was.”

“What day is it?” she looks at her phone.

“Yeah, it’s Valentine’s Day.”

“Oh!” she laughs, shaking her head. She pulls away, sitting up, and runs her fingers through her hair. “Okay? Did you have plans? I’m good here if you want to go.”

“What? No? What plans would I have?”

“I don’t know, Anthony. Maybe you’re an international man of mystery,” she laughs, lightly shoving his knee.

“Sure I am,” he says, rolling his eyes, “That’s not what I meant, though.”

“What did you mean then?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you have plans.” She gives him an unimpressed look. “Okay, well, maybe you don’t have plans. But I didn’t get you anything.”

“Do friends get friends Valentine’s Day gifts?”

He sucks in a breath. “I mean, no? I don’t know.”

“You did get me a whole box of pastries. I feel like that’s pretty good. I mean it’s not like I’ve ever celebrated Valentine’s Day before.”

He freezes, brows furrowed.

“What? You never celebrated with Pierre?”

“Nope,” she shakes her head.

“Weren’t you together for like five years?”

“Yep!” she shrugs. “He just wasn’t into that sort of stuff. He thought it was stupid and a waste of money.”

“Come on, what the fuck?” he says, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, we never did anniversaries either. It’s not a big deal.”

“Please tell me he at least did birthdays.”

“I guess. I mean, he always got me birthday and Christmas presents, but usually nothing major. I always planned a dinner and stuff with our group of friends for my birthday.”

He studies her face, his brows furrowed.

She sits up. “What?” 

“Seriously?”

She nods.

“I bet he always got you to plan his birthday parties too.” He rolls his eyes and sighs. “I don’t mean to be rude, but like. Fuck Pierre, man.”

She’s quiet for a second before saying softly, “It’s really not a big deal.”

He shakes his head. “I mean, sure, Valentine’s Day is kinda stupid and cheesy. But that’s the point. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use it as an excuse to show someone you love them.”

“Wow, Anthony. I didn’t know you were such a romantic,” she grins, bumping his shoulder.

“I’m not. He just sounds like he was being lazy and didn’t really care to try.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal, Tito. Guys're just like that.”

His eyes follow the sad smile she gives him, and he pauses. Her eyes are a little glassy, and her cheeks redder. He knows when to leave something be.

“Guys are absolutely not ‘just like that,’” he says, making air quotes. “But I’ll drop it.”

He lays back down, tugging on her arm. He mutters, “I just think that he should've cared enough to try, like, even a little bit.”

“God, you're such a sap. Imagine your teammates hearing about this.”

“I wouldn't be embarrassed, Evie. Like, at all,” he looks at her flatly.

She rolls her eyes and lays back down against him.

A few minutes later, she speaks up again. “So, you want to hit up some clubs tonight? Things always get hot and heavy on Valentine’s Day. Good night to pick-up.”

“It’s Wednesday, and I’ve got a game tomorrow,” he says, his voice hollow as he forces his eyes to stay on the screen.

“Lame,” she says, a relieved smile on her lips that he doesn't see.

Evie — March 2

When Evie comes to, she’s lying on her bed with her arm covering her eyes, panting. Her body still feels tingly, in the way it does after good, wild sex. It always leaves her a little dizzy and disoriented. She can hear the sound of heavy breathing next to her. She hums, pleased.

Her other outstretched hand is buried in soft hair. She tugs on a curl and smiles. She loves his curly hair. Evie has always had thick, straight hair, a blessing and a curse; it has never felt as soft as curly hair does. Her fingers twirl around the curl, playing with the springy coil.

She thinks maybe Tito will let his hair grow even longer. He looks so good with longer hair that forms actual curls. The way it falls in front of his eyes a bit makes him look so soft. She thinks about how he lays on the couch lazily, his hair splayed out on the cushion, and how his shirt rides up to show the sliver of skin above his low-slung sweats when he gets comfortable.

The urge to ask him if he’s going to cut his hair soon overtakes her exhaustion, and she moves her arm to look over.

“So—” Evie starts before she furrows her brows.

At that moment, she notices that instead of Tito’s baby blues, she's met with a pair of wide-eyed browns. Her entire body freezes as the night slams back into her consciousness. 

The dancing, the flirting, the meaningful looks, the cab ride home, the sex. God, the sex was fucking good. Her limbs hum in agreement as her chest tightens.

Well, these eyes gaze at her lazily, warm and soft. Evie’s hand is still in her curly mess of hair. The first thing she thinks is that it's actually longer than Tito’s hair is now before she immediately banishes his name from her mind completely. 

Evie can’t seem to relax her body enough to free her voice, which is caught in her throat.

Shit, what is her name?

Natalie? Natalia? Natasha? Nat for sure—

“Don’t worry,” Nat states, smirking, “I’m not staying. Just trying to catch my breath before leaving.”

Evie can’t help but feel unsettled and disoriented, but she forces her mind to quieten. Nat is really hot, and they did have a really good night. Slowly, Evie puts a coy smile back on her face and blinks slowly at her. 

“You don’t have to leave? If you don’t want to. I didn’t mean to kick you out.”

Evie has absolutely no idea why she just said that. She has never asked a hook-up if they want to stay. It must show on her face because Nat laughs. She shakes her head and presses another heated kiss to Evie’s lips, reminding her why she feels like she’s still floating outside of her body.

“I’ll get going.” Nat shakes her head and stands up, looking for her clothes in the mess on the floor. Evie probably should've cleaned up a little before going out.

She leans up on her elbows and lets her eyes trail down Nat’s body. Her mind finally focuses, and she whistles. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay?”

Nat laughs. 

“Yes, baby girl. I’ve got to go to work tomorrow. This was very good, though,” Nat says while putting on her clothes. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to ask for your number or when we’ll see each other again. So you don’t need to give me the spiel. I knew— know what this was.”

Evie laughs at the exaggerated wink Nat gives her. She feels a little lighter with relief at that.

“Can I use your bathroom, though? Before I go.”

“Yeah, it’s right through there.”

“Thanks.” Nat sends her a warm smile before slipping into the bathroom.

Evie lays back down and rubs her eyes. That was fucking weird, what the—

Her bathroom door flies open.

“What the fuck?” Natalie says, holding up Tito’s bread trimmer.

“What?” 

“Do you have a boyfriend or something? Did you just fucking use me to cheat on someone?”

“No?” Evie sits up, confused.

“Don’t fucking lie to me. I was willing to overlook the men’s shoes and coat in your entryway; maybe they’re a friend’s. I was willing to overlook the sweatshirts and sweatpants strewn around your room. I figured maybe you just like being comfortable.” 

“What?” she squeaks through the lump in her throat.

Nat powers through her interruption. “But there’s a fucking beard trimmer in there. Two toothbrushes. Two towels. A curly-defining gel that you definitely don’t use. And the—”

“No, you’re—”

“Are you honestly going to tell me you live here alone? What stupid fucking excuse are you going to give me, huh? This is a one-bedroom apartment, dude. Whoever’s shit this is, he's definitely not your roommate.”

Evie stares at her, stunned, mouth opening and closing.

“God, you know what. Save it. I don’t want to fucking know,” she says before storming out of the bedroom. 

Evie hugs her knees in stunned silence, watching from her bed as Nat grabs her coat and shoes. She pleads with her brain for something to say and comes up empty. 

Nat throws her one last dirty look, her face twisting in a scowl at her continued silence. “Seriously, fuck you, Gigi.” 

The sound of the front door slamming makes Evie jump. She just sits there, staring into empty space for so long that she feels her butt go numb.

She flops back onto her bed, pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes.

“What the fuck just happened?” she says to her empty room.

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[chalkchapel]

Vampire Knight: Personal thoughts

I just watched the vampire knight series, so here's my honest review. I really liked it. I guess you just have to be the target audience. Beware of spoilers!

Vampire knight quickly became one of my obsessions lmfao I'm very thankful to my friend for putting me on it. I was crazy about it in 2021 but I never found the time to read the manga. Read tons of comments stating how boring the show is.. For me the first few episodes got me hooked on insanely fast. I was really invested, kept me wanting to watch more and more... It was hard having to control myself to not watch more than 3 eps a day lmfao. Some things aren't explained as well as others, often left me confused and having to pause to think on it. The story is well written and the plot twists were cool. I like that the story takes place in a high school (ignoring the fact that it was pointless). A school was founded with the purpose of fostering harmony between vampires and humans, however, the humans are completely unaware that the students in the night class are vampires?! I guess the explanation is that vampires must learn to not to feed off humans?? Very misleading, but whatever.

I LOVE the art style, it's very beautiful. I didn't quite like how lazily the story progressed in the anime. It felt like 20 filler episodes and 4 eps in which the main plot is actually dug into. At the end Yuki suddenly had to come to her true self, a pureblood princess. It's then revealed that some evil vampire wants to drink her blood. It's also revealed that Kaname is her brother and long destined husband. She had to quickly reconcile with the facts in the last 4 episodes.. The ending really got my heart racing. It's frustrating how Kaname made Yuki rely on him to a large extent, only to suddenly abandon her while she's getting hunted by the evil vampire guy. I suppose he knew Zero had to kill him, but still... What ifff.. maybe only this time there wasnt this unnecessary edging talk and he actually bit her?!?

rip gg

During the whole anime, Yuki was really out of touch with the outside world. She is cherished and protected, but definitely not an independent woman. Very bubbly, happy and in the same time idiotic. All she desires is to uncover the secrets of her past. Kind of plain and boring. Maybe if she wasn't just a walking blood bank for Zero, but an actual useful character the show would've been even more likable. A strong man like zero has 2 powerful guns to protect the day students from vampires... And a braindead kawaii girl like Yuki... got a metal rod?? She's physically incapable of defending herself, let alone protect another. I sympathized with Yuki as she constantly tries to assist my king Zero (u can tell i resonate with him by the way i talk about him lmfao) in overcoming his vampire instincts, but he refuses to confide in her and instead distances himself. He's probably the most interesting character from the series. Born in a family of vampire hunters. Bro's hatred of vampires comes from his parents deaths. Murdered by a pureblood that took his twin brother away. He's also turned into a vampire in the same night. Zero is what he despises. I felt bad for him when all sorts of awful things happened to him. There was no decrease in Zero's suffering as the story unfolded, displaying somewhat of emotional growth and realization while Yuki persisted in her immaturity and sought affection and protection without recognizing her true needs. Zero felt completely shattered and broken over his loss of Yuki and everyone he cared for that when she finally came to him and told him that the old Yuki was eaten by the vampire part of her, he felt like he had no choice but to cling on whatever glimmer of light was left in his world. Knowing he was not her first choice only intensified his anguish. He is torn between adoring her and resenting her, a decision that surely brings him more pain..

Kaname and Zero are simply not on the same level. Kaname is a pureblood with a mission to protect Yuki. He truly loves her. Though I feel like he often manipulates her and indirectly forces her to follow his orders. I get that they're blood related, but it's odd without any context. [as if no one was aware of their relationship at that moment] He frequently disregards her feelings and views her as childish. Zero can simply be a blip on the radar for Kaname. Kaname's like a god. Though his abilities are vague, he just does insane things. Tearing the ground, wiping out memories, demolishing buildings, causing people to explode, you name it. Both were somehow able to help each other. Zero has the duty to protect Yuki. Kaname "helped" Zero break from his endless suffering cycle descending into a level E and helped him understand his powers and realize what hes capable of... Actually, at first I thought Kaname was a bit creepy.. Obsessing over a teenage girl, but now i kinda get it. Maybe it's all a plan of his? Maybe it can all be read inbetween the lines?? He's still a huge mystery to me. His past is also unclear. He's like a book written in a foreign language that I somehow understand. I always feel like i misconceive his intentions. He definitely is the king of nonchalantness.

I also absolutely LOVE the soundtracks. Cherry on top. Making it even better! Really suiting the vibe.

On a final note: These r my thoughts based on the anime only. I don't really care if anyone considers this for some poser shit

[cdyssey]

Elsbeth (1.07) Reactions:

Spoilers under the cut!

first episode I’ve gotten to watch live. :’) I cannot believe how fast I’ve fallen for this show.

KEEGAN MICHAEL KEY!! He’s looking so good.

I love that because elsbeth isn’t a whodunnit, the show can get away with casting insane guest stars for the culprits since it’s the “showcase role.”

It’s kind of delicious that Mr. and Mrs. Hayes are mutually down to murder akaksowkskwksosn—and in fact, it’s implied that this is far from the first time they’ve had to get rid of someone the hard way.

Relatedly, kudos to the creators and writers. all of the culprits have felt unique in their motivations, personalities, and skill sets so far.

“A long line of honorable men have worn this watch, and you desecrated it with that abominable dance.” FJSDJJS, god, Keegan is so funny.

THAT BLUE BLAZER AND PINK SHIRT!! The bucket hat!!!!

I appreciate that they’ve been consistent with having some of the detectives start to recur! Makes the show’s world start to feel lived in.

Both Donnelly and Kaya, shocked to hell: “You’re married?!”

Lol, Mr. Hayes is a sloppy murderer. He doesn’t try to look bothered at ALL.

Elsbeth housewarming party! Yay!!!

“People doing stupid stuff at a wedding—like having them! Sorry, bad divorce.” Gdkwkqkqkkw

I like how Detective Donnelly has clearly softened up a bit—she even seems a little fond of Elsbeth.

LOL @ THE BRUTAL CUT TO KEEGAN CONFESSING ABOUT THE AFFAIR ANSNSNANSNSNS. The show knew they had a comedian on their hands, and they were going to treat him well.

Ooooh, Keegan’s character knowing Claudia. Interesting.

Elsbeth’s dancing outfit!! The leg warmers!! The blue barrette!!!

Kaya and Elsbeth going out for a lady’s night!!

“A clown emoji was used.” [Cue Kaya laughing fondly.] 😭

ELSBETH NERVOUSLY TRYING TO SHUFFLE MONEY TOWARDS CAPRI HELP ME.

Ugh, love that coat on Kaya

I’m going to ignore the elsbeth would love to be Kaya’s mother-in-law quote for reasons.

Anyway, for totally unrelated reasons, do Kaya and elsbeth have a ship name yet. I’ve been calling them kayabeth in my head

Yay!! Love that Teddy’s gay.

Apparently, he doesn’t fall for kind or honest people

FJSDJDJSJ, elsbeth sticking the beer bottle near the golf cart pedal. She’s so fucking wild.

“Oh, you’re no dummy. I could tell that right away.” I love the moments when Elsbeth’s ruthlessness comes through.

The deputy(?) Dave might be the one covering up the Flair-All thing.

That rainbow sweater and the jacket Elsbeth originally had over it was a gay ass fit <3

Sorry, this case is bringing up some stuff.” Lmao, I like Donnelly. Her dryness is fun.

Omgg, Hayes and Elsbeth DANCING!! AKQKWKQOQOKSJS, Carrie Preston is a master of physical comedy

This was just an excuse to get Keegan Michael Key to dance and I love it

THAT CARTWHEEL WKWKDKWNSN

I love that they’re genuinely having fun together. One of the biggest draws of the show to me is the unique relationships that Elsbeth has with the culprits of the episodes. She’s out to get them, sure, but she takes great pains to understand them too.

THE WATCH!!!!! That was such a fun set-up.

Kaya is so fucking pretty.

The fact that she got Elsbeth a hook for all her tote bags. 🥺 A pragmatic and thoughtful gift.

OMG, THE DJ SON FROM THE SECOND EP! Nice continuity.

this apartment is goddamn gorgeous. All those windows feel very elsbeth.

WAGNER CONFRONTING HER!!!!!!! HHHHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

DON’T DO THIS AT HER HOUSEWARMING PARTY!

Lieutenant Noonan… omg, I called it… but now that Wagner is saying the same thing, I’m back to the drawing board on whether I think it’s true or not yet. They’re doing a nice job of continuing to pull this tension in different directions.

This was a very fun episode. Keegan made for a great culprit, and there was a lot of awesome work in fleshing out different characters/dynamics in the main cast.

I’m so charmed by this show. 😭

[karizard-ao3]

My reactions to Evangelion, episode 15: Lies and Silence

Before I begin, I was thinking about it this morning and I'm wondering if NERV is indeed trying to bring on the apocalypse (and to create an Eden for fetus Adam to live in) and the Angels are in fact the good guys trying to stop them. There's a lot of talk about saving humanity but it kind of seems to me like the second impact was due to humans killing an Angel, who then exploded? It makes me wonder what kind of research they were doing on that Arctic base (Antarctic?) Idk, but to me it seems like humanity as a whole has not been in danger from the Angels: it's just NERV. But I'm also kind of hung up on the Instrumentality part of the Human Instrumentality project. Instrumental for what?

Anyway, I'll keep wondering on it, but I'm going to start the episode.

"Every project is interlinked"

is the first time we're hearing about the Marduk institute?

Oh, okay. So it sounds like the Human Instrumentality project is about trying to find kids to pilot the Evangelions. That makes sense. They are the instruments in piloting the Evas. So perhaps Adam has been genetically engineered to be the perfect pilot.

Asuka! Oh my gosh! Girl who cried wolf!

Shinji has been preoccupied with Rei since that thing happened in Unit 0, maybe?

Asking Rei for advice on how to talk to his own dad. Poor kid

He's comparing Rei to a mother. IS SHE A CLONE OF HIS MOTHER. Also, he's so awkward.

Or maybe she's a robot with his mother's personality inside. Oooooooh.

When Asuka asked to borrow Misato's lavender perfume my first thought was of Love Spell.

Oh, he's going to see his mother tomorrow! She's alive and also apparently negligent.

I'm chuckling because my first thought on seeing Kaji was, "You couldn't even shave for your friend's wedding?" and then Misato got on him for the same thing lol.

Nope, his mom is actually dead.

That's a very stark cemetery.

So he can't remember her face, there are no photographs that exist, the grave is just a facade... So mysterious.

"I see." What an ass.

I didn't know Shinji played an instrument! And so beautifully!

Shinji is so sweet and positive. I just love him so much.

Ritsuko's comment on transistasis and homeostasis has me thinking about the potential that NERV is trying to force human evolution. Perhaps they want to create a symbiotic relationship with the Evas? I don't know about that... Trying to evolve them to be compatible with technology? Space travel? Is the planet doomed?

Kaji is such a smooth talker.

Yeah, kiss her. That'll shut her up.

Asuka, Jesus Christ. Mocking Shinji about his dead mom to bully him into kissing you. Girl, please.

I'm wheezing! He turned fuschia!

Is it because he couldn't breathe? Omg

Asuka... Sweetheart... You're just repeating his warning back to him.

I wonder if Asuka realizing Misato and Kaji have a thing is going to interfere with her ability to complete her next mission.

There's the central dogma! Rei's in a tube hooked up to what looks like a metal brain.

Okay, so I'm thinking about how when Shinji was in Unit 0 he was like, "Oh, it's Rei. Wait, that's not-" and then creepy Rei looked up at him and jumped towards him and that is when Unit 0 flipped out and started trying to get to the real Rei. So I am thinking there are perhaps multiple people inside Rei (this is also influenced by the fact that when I was looking up to see if ep. 14 was a recap episode I saw it mentioned that Rei is schizophrenic. However, I'm not sure I believe she's actually schizophrenic. I kind of think she is actually harboring another person and that it's Shinji's mother.)

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH ADAM IS THE FIRST ANGEL?

I had kind of wondered if there was an Angel inside the facility. I had initally assumed there would be one kept top secretly but they kept saying how they needed to catch one for research so I was like, "Oh, maybe not, but that's weird that they wouldn't have on after all this time." Especially with everything they seem to know about them. I figured it had to be they either created them or were studying them.

In Closing

I'm so excited! Mysteries are starting to come to light!

Okay, let me see if I can organize my current theories:

Rei might be an imprint Shinji's mother - possibly she's an android, possibly just a person with an especially impressionable brain. But I think that there's Rei the girl and then also the additional personality/ies if this is the case.

NERV is going to perhaps force human evolution using genetic engineering. Or, they might be planning an apocalypse. The Angels may be trying to stop this from happening. I really have no idea.

I just considered that given the ages of the children and the timeline of the second impact, is it possible that children who were in-utero/ conceived around or after that time have some kind of Angel influence within their DNA? Like some kind of radiation? Could this be why only kids can operate the Evas? Are Angels neccessary for the next phase of whatever NERV has planned?

I feel like there's more but I want to hurry up and get to the next episode, so bye.