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h50europe · 3 years ago

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Why the myth about Steve's PTSD doesn't add up and other inconsistencies

In the last few episodes of H50, PL tried to sell us a mentally broken Steve suffering from PTSD. Only the whole thing came a bit too late. The clip you see is from season 4 and ended up - no, not in the series - but somewhere on the floor of PL's editing room. And why? after Kurtzman and Orci departed, along with their writers, PL took the helm and started turning Steve into a super-soldier. He stylized him into something that wasn't meant to be. Instead of developing the characters, PL began to incorporate more and more hair-raising action sequences into the series and then let Steve fight on the front lines. There was no mention of Steve's mental state, and a lot was explained by PL with: it just happened "offscreen." Yeah, sure. PL can't create a decent character. He can only produce stereotypes and one-dimensional beings. Like Adam. What potential would that character have had had he been turned into Five-0's antagonist? But no. So his role remained diffuse and monotonous. Sometimes even tragicomical.

Back to Steve. When SEAL Team started on CBS, PL also lapsed into SEAL mania. If someone who writes fanfiction were to produce as much garbage as this man did, he would be chased away from every writers' platform in disgrace. PL's Super SEAL also had to rescue his team members from a blazing inferno. Not man by man, no, he flew a helicopter right into the danger zone and lifted a whole cabin out of the burning jungle. If lunacy had a name, it would be PL. While the action became more and more exaggerated and unrealistic, the same happened to the protagonists. After the departure of Daniel Dae Kim and Grace Park, PL completely lost his mind. And please, don't blame the writers for the nonsense that was thrown at you. A series stands and falls with the showrunner. He dictates what he wants and passes it on to his staff.

And so, lovable Steve became a soulless robot who only showed feelings here and there. Danny diminished more and more into a sidekick. McDanno became a ship that drifted anchorless through a stormy sea and threatened to capsize again and again. From season 8, it became a reboot of the reboot. PL tried an ensemble show and failed more than miserably. Often the actors just stood around bored. At least that was the impression. The only highlight was episode 8.10. A feast for all McDanno fans. But even here, the outcome of "who shot Danny" was more than insubstantial.

Wait, there was something about SEALs... Oh, yes. Junior appeared on the scene and became Steve's lapdog. I really wondered when there was going to be an episode where he would fetch sticks for Steve. Luckily we had Eddie for that. And because he thought he was so clever, PL invented the episode speed dating. How many subplots can you squeeze into one episode at the same time? In some episodes, you couldn't even take a look at the bag of potato chips without losing the thread.

The case of the week became the yawn of the week. There were so many loose ends that PL then came up with something called retconning. That's what you do when you're no longer satisfied with what was once established in the series years ago, or it no longer fits. But PL went one step further and did the same with the characters. The more the series was dragged out, the more the characters deteriorated and became OOC. It means, often, they were not recognizable at all. And that's where we come to Steve. Because PL, in his desperation, didn't know what else he could do to Steve, and so he killed Joe White. He did it in such a cheesy way with a fake sunset that it made you sick.

Of course, one episode later, there had to be another gig of PL's favorite Barbie. He stuck a fake beard on poor Steve/Alex, so he couldn't even hug Danny/Scott properly. The episode also raised more questions than it answered any. And Steve? He still didn't suffer from PTSD, even though he had now lost Joe White and a fellow SEAL. Everyone is dropping like flies, except for Steve, who is standing like a rock. No matter what. He doesn't need in-depth talks with Danny, nor psychological care, nor any sleeping pills. No, he's doing great. He also opens a restaurant with Danny because apparently, the carguments are already getting on PL's nerves. Unfortunately, this plot device leads into nirvana. The idea was nice, but nobody thought it through to the end. And the merry-go-round continues. Until we get to season 10, where it gets even more absurd. Now PL is almost bombarding us with McDanno episodes, or at least it should seem that way. Oh well, he's already planning for season 11, so a new character has to come on board quickly. While in the beginning, Steve's mother, Doris, dies.

Alex was allowed to take on the subject. Of course, only under the strict eyes of PL. He then nullifies Alex's idea that Steve kills his mother. Because a good soldier and Super SEAL won't do that. Little does PL know. THAT could have been the opening of a PTSD scenario for Steve. However, apart from that, this episode would have had any potential for a multi-arc. Just imagine Steve chasing his mother across multiple episodes. Again, PL stepped in and butchered Alex's episode. You can really feel sorry for the guy. PL at his best or worse? He just can't help it. And then, on the very last meters of the series, he brings someone new, who is allowed to cruise around with Steve most of the time. Because Danny was kidnapped by Wo Fat's widow, PL also invented quite late to have some villain at his disposal. This wannabe mastermind must really have been living under a rock somewhere if she wasn't even mentioned by her husband or appeared earlier.

Because towards the end, PL obviously ran out not only of steam but also of ideas, everything culminated in a wildly illogical scenario. Steve has to live through a dramatic day with Eddie, who stands as a metaphor for Steve (as I said, PTSD was never a thing for Super SEAL), Danny bangs his brains out in a ladies' room with a complete stranger, who dies shortly after that in an accident with Danny's rental car. Apparently, there was no budget to turn the Camaro into scrap metal. Danny then also goes home alone, ignoring the incoming emergency vehicles. Everything remains open at the end of the episode. While Steve expresses his gratitude to Tani and Quinn and says, he would be just as lost as poor Eddie without the dog and all of them. The strange thing is that you never notice anything until that sentence. A few forced dialogues are supposed to make the drama visible, but they all happen way too late or are so poorly written that you miss them.

PL had decided early on to make Steve a Teflon hero. That also means he didn't need to put much substance into the character. Which you can clearly see if you compare the first three seasons to the rest of the series. But towards the end, PL wanted to turn the tide and forcefully rewrote Steve's past. There is a huge difference if you compare Steve from seasons 1 to 3 with Steve from season 10. It is only a sparse remnant of what made this character so great. This change in Steve's personality also affects his relationship with Danny. The witty, affectionate banter degenerates into a snappy, humorless bitch-fest that takes all the joy out of it.

The final two episodes could have been written for any other crime show. As mentioned, we have Cole, who even gets a book'em Cole from Steve, which can only be described as out of line. And it begs the question, was that what Lenkov originally had in mind? Danny out of the show and Cole in? Was the last episode, which mainly featured McCole, something of a test run? Did all the McDanno moments happen only to tear the two apart eventually? Was the real final scene the one where Steve and Catherine take Danny's coffin back to Jersey? Was Danny not supposed to survive? Was that the real reason Steve wanted to get out of Hawaii because he wanted to pay his respects to Danny? And would he really have returned to Hawaii later? Or would he have turned his back on Hawaii? To me, this ending is more plausible than what PL served us. Then, Steve handed over his credentials to Cole instead of Danny, his second in command. Honestly, you can't make the end of a series any more sloppy and dumber than that. And I won't even lose a word about the last 1:30 minutes because I think everything has already been said.

No PL, mission absolutely not accomplished. You created Teflon-Steve. You never wanted him to show any weakness. You turned him into a superhuman who can survive anything. Only to pull the rug out from under him on the last few meters to the finish line and spit on his legacy. How can you dismantle such a great series and its characters like you did? How much do you have to hate something to do that? In the final interviews, the showrunner didn't exactly cover himself in glory either. Everyone who grew up with the series from day one knows that its end was wrong on all the possible levels and that the showrunner is solely to blame for that. It takes a fair amount of egoism and carelessness to drive 10 years at full throttle against the wall. Not many people can do that. Whether you can be proud of that, however, I doubt.

My respect if you have made it this far. Each of you gets 10 extra brownie points for it.

#McDanno #steve mcgarrett #danny williams #scott caan #alex o'loughlin #H50 the final chapter #H50 series finale #Lenkov #Eddie #Junior #seal team

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jaceyneedsabetterusername · 4 years ago

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Sex Tape

Pairings: Johnny Depp x Reader

Request: “ If you take requests, would you consider doing johnny reaction to like theirs sex tape getting leaked? Reader may also be a celebrity or not. Whatever you prefer “ - @fanficshitandother

Warnings: Mentions of sex but no actual smut

Word Count: 1800

A/N: Sorry this one is so short. I was having a harder time writing it than I thought I would. I hope you enjoy!

__________________________________

Shit.

You knew this was a bad idea when he suggested it but no. He just had to have this video “for when he was away filming.” It always ended like this, though, right? It always started out as fun and games until bam! Celebrity sex tape leaked!

The gossip talk show video that your best friend had sent you was still playing on your phone and you watched in silent horror as the red haired woman talked about your sex life to her male counterpart as if she had any actual right to have an opinion. In the top corner was a picture of you and Johnny at the red carpet for the premier of the Crimes of Grindelwald, his arm around your waist and both of you smiling for the paparazzi pictures. “Okay, guys. You are going to want to hear this,” She started, clasping her absurdly long acrylic-clad fingers together and holding onto her knees, “So there has been yet another sex tape leaked and I want you to guess who’s it is.” She looked over to her co-host. He had a push broom mustache that was bleached blonde to match his hair.

The man hummed before waving his hand, which also donned long yellow acrylics, “I swear, Laurel, if this is another Kardashian or Paris Hilton tape, I’m gonna scream. That’s such old news.”

“Actually, it’s someone that I certainly didn’t expect. Johnny Depp and his wife, Y/N L/N.” She dropped the news and the co-star’s mouth dropped.

“Are you serious? Like Jack Sparrow, Sweeney Todd, Willy Wonka, Johnny Depp?” He asked in total shock, “I didn’t expect that either! But you know what? I feel like he’d be really good in bed.”

He and Laurel both laughed, “You’re so bad!” She squealed, hitting him with the paper notes in her hand, “But, between you and me,” She leaned in, as if she was telling an actual secret that wasn’t being broadcast on the internet, “I did see it.”

“And?”

“It was pretty hot, I can’t lie. That Y/N is a very lucky girl indeed.” The pair giggled like a pair of school girls.

You were absolutely mortified. How did this happen? How many people had seen it? Who had seen it? Oh God… all you could imagine was your family stumbling across the video or, debatably worse, Johnny’s kids. This had to be one of the worst moments of your life.

You turned off the video and quickly dialed your husband. “Hello, love.” He greeted cheerily on the other end. The faint sound of cars passing in the background told you he was probably driving home from the meeting he had been at.

“Did you see it? Did you hear it?” You asked frantically.

“What?” He asked, confused.

“The video! The video got leaked!” You ran your fingers through your hair messily, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor.

“What video?” He questioned, not sounding like he fully understood what had happened, but then you could almost feel the weight of realization falling on him, “Wait, our video?”

“Yes! Our video!” You were yelling at this point, not at him but at the situation and thankfully he understood that.

“Okay, okay. We’ll- Hang on my manager is calling. Probably to tell me about it. I’ll be home in five minutes. I love you.” He signed off your call quickly before hanging up without giving you the chance to respond.

While you waited for him to get there, you spiraled down the rabbit hole that was the tabloids and social media. Your phone buzzed off the charts as everyone from your sister to Helena Bonham Carter called you to ask if you were okay. Of course, you weren’t. But it was one phone call from a former college roommate, Sheila, had really gotten your blood boiling.

“It’s okay! If anything, this is just going to make you more famous! Look at all the other celebs who’ve had their sex tapes leaked. They’re like, super famous.” Sheila sounded more excited than she should have, which certainly made you question her motives behind calling you in the first place. Since marrying Johnny, you’d had the unfortunate displeasure of having to cut a few people off from your past who had randomly called you up after years of little to no contact, asking more favors in the movie industry, money, or even just for the clout of saying they knew you. There really was such a downside to this whole marrying famous person thing that nobody ever really talked about - not that you would take it back, though, of course. You loved Johnny more than anything.

Still, when the words left her mouth, you felt a flash of anger swell up, “Contrary to what a lot of people might believe, being famous actually kind of sucks,” You spat angrily, “And call me crazy, but I don’t exactly feel thrilled at knowing the whole world as access to a video of my naked ass!”

“At least it’s a good naked ass, though! Your boobs are looking pretty good too. Did you get them done?” She asked bluntly, still not a care to be heard in her voice. You swore you could almost detect a fake valley girl accent too.

Your mouth dropped open in disbelief at the words coming from her voice, “I can’t believe you.” Without giving her a chance to respond, you clicked the off button before flipping her off through the screen, though you knew she couldn’t see it. The audacity of some people.

The front door swung open, drawing your attention as Johnny hurried into the house, setting his bag down by the front door. “How bad is it?” You asked, knowing his manager must have told him the full extent.

“Do you want the truth?” Johnny saw as panic and humiliation swept across your face, knowing that perhaps that wasn’t the best way to break it to you that it was pretty bad. He stepped forward and wrapped you in his arms, “I told Harrison to take ‘em down. Whenever he found one, he said he’d get it deleted.

You sighed defeatedly, “That doesn’t stop the fact that a bunch of people already saw it.” Your arms wrapped around Johnny’s torso and you allowed your head to fall against his chest, trying to calm yourself with his scent- exotic spicy cologne and old books.

His large hand came to stroke through your hair, “That is true,” He conceded with a heavy breath, “But, it also means that fewer and fewer people will continue to see it.” There was a pause in which neither of you said anything, only took a few minutes to hold onto each other while you thought about the future now, “Y’know, I can’t help but feel like this is partly my fault. I shouldn’t have asked to make the video. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You shook your head in disagreement, “I agreed to do it too. It’s on both of us. In retrospect, we should have put it on an actual VHS tape or something that would be more difficult to get into the tabloid’s hands.”

You were tired of this - of this constant running from the vultures that prayed off your every misstep just to turn them against you and create headlining stories. You felt like you couldn’t even breathe without a scandal unless the media allowed it. You were just grateful that you happened to marry one of the most private actors in Hollywood, knowing that whatever pressure you felt, more public figures like Angelina Jolie had it much worse. Still, something inside you stirred, a decision that you’d stop living in fear.

Johnny pulled back and gave you that infamous cocked eyebrow look of wonder, one that you’d mostly seen him use as Jack Sparrow. Little did everyone know, it was a gesture he’d picked up on doing in real life as well. “Do we even have a VHS player anymore?”

You chuckled and buried your head back into his white shirt, “I don’t even know. I feel like there must be one laying around somewhere. And if not, I’ll go down to a pawn shop and pick one up just for you to use while filming.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” You leaned back, pulling on his shirt to bring him down closer to your level, “That if we’re going to be making you another one of these videos, it’s gonna be on something that stays only between us.”

Your husband nearly choked on air, “Another one? After what just happened?”

“Only if you want to and only if it stays on something physical like a CD or VHS that we can mutually agree to burn and destroy if anything happens.” You giggled and Johnny joined in with a low chuckle as well, “But… the video was leaked. We knew that was a risk when we made it. But, y’know what? I’m tired of living in fear of the paparazzi and public. They’ve already seen us fuck. There’s not much else we’ve got to lose.”

His dark eyes flashed with mischief before he took off in a light jog down the hall without a word. You followed him, “Where are you going?” You giggled, turning the corner to find him digging through your little Harry Potter closet under the stairs.

When he stood up, he shook his long hair out of his eyes messily and held up an old tape recorder that had to be at least twenty years old. Johnny swayed towards you, jokingly flirtatious as he spoke, “Well, Mrs. Depp, it would seem that you’re in luck because your husband likes to hoard old shit.”

The grey and black machine seemed to stare at you and some hesitation set in again but then you remembered what you’d said: I’m tired of living in fear… there’s not much else we’ve got to lose.

Johnny flicked open the side compartment and his eyes opened in surprise to find a tape still in there. He lifted it from the slide and looked it over, shocked to see that it appeared to be an unused blank tape, “Well, well, looks like we’re in luck.”

Biting your lip, you looked up at him with those eyes before grabbing his hand and running upstairs to your bedroom, dragging him along. “The world thinks they’ve seen us fuck. They only got a preview.”

“Only a preview? I thought we went pretty hard last time?” He countered with a low challenging laugh.

You turned around at the top of the stairs, one hand on the banister as you turned to face him. His body collided with yours, his hand reaching around the small of your back to steady the two of you and you arched your body into his, being sure to brush your body against his groin, “Oh, Johnny… we’re both throwing our backs out tonight.”

#Johnny Depp #johnny depp fanfic #John Shelby #johnny depp imagine #johnny depp imagines

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pleasereadmeok · 4 years ago

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This ‘Wonderland’ Interview to promote A Single Man is a gem. Matthew Goode is a bit of a handful and swears his way through this interview with his mate Nic Hoult. It’s very funny. It’s often quoted (including his description of Colin Firth’s kissing technique!) but it’s difficult to find a clean scan of the whole interview. This scan (from Natalie/ Fairchilds on ohnotheydidnt) isn’t very clear to read so I did a transcript several years ago - here:-

Wonderland Interview

Based on the 1964 novel by Christopher Isherwood, A Single Man marks the screenwriting and directing debut of fashion icon, Tom Ford. Having debuted earlier this year at the Venice Film Festival to a standing ovation, the film has continued to impress audiences during screening at the Toronto and London Film Festivals.

Joining lead actor, Colin Firth, on screen are fellow Brits Matthew Goode and Nicholas Hoult who discuss the film, Tom Ford and being British in LA.

ON A SINGLE MAN

Nicholas Hoult: The only time I saw Matthew was when we were getting our spray tans.

Matthew Goode: Which were more regular than we were expecting. I got on a plane with Colin [Firth] and then literally the moment we arrived, got in the car together, went to the hotel and suddenly – it’s like ten thirty at night – we have to go to Colin’s room where we’re having our spray tans . Colin Firth is in his pants, I’m in my pants and it stays that way for an hour whilst we wait for this stuff to set. He’s fucking great. I love Colin.

We [Nic’ and he] never had a scene together but we were there the whole time. I was only really fitting in around these guys. Nic had a damn sight more to do than I did.

NH: No I just did more.

MG: [Laughs] It was a really fun shoot. I mean, maybe I’m looking back with rose tinted spectacles, but …

NH: It was a good fun shoot. Everyone enjoyed it. I remember the night in Venice after seeing it in front of all those people and just lying in bed thinking ‘that’s something I’m proud of’.

MG: It’s seriously impressive. You watch it and you care and, it doesn’t happen to me a lot, but I watched it and thought ‘I’m in something that doesn’t stink!’. I’m proud of that.

NH: That’s a nice feeling when you’ve done something and you can say ‘yeah, proud of that’.

MG: Fucking hell – sorry to interrupt – but I was reading a magazine or a paper or something the other day and it said “A Single Man obviously being screened and whenever Nic Hoult was on screen there were gasps over his beauty” [laughs]. And I was thinking, fucking Hoult is going to LA and get so laid! [Laughs]. He is going to be turning bush away left right and centre!

NH: It’s all down to the fake tan again. That’s where the performance stems for me.

MG: That is a review!

NH: Nothing about the acting, right?

MG: They didn’t review the film. It just said “I saw it. I’m going to be reviewing it at some point, but let me tell you there were gasps over Nick Hoult’s beauty!”

ON TOM FORD

MG: Tom is immediately interesting. If it’s all about someone’s cannon of work then most of the time you wouldn’t work with a first ime director, but if the script is good and you have a chat with them and they know which end is up and which is down, then great.

NH: I didn’t know who Tom was when I met him.

MG: Nick “fashion forward” Hoult!

NH: I’d gone over to LA got off a plane and had dinner with him. And I asked him how he’d got into directing and why he was doing this!

MG: I love that. Isn’t that great? And that’s also like Tom. He’s not the sort of person who is like, ‘well fuck you!’.

NH: He explained very humbly what he had done and I thought OK. And then I looked him up after dinner and was ‘oh jesus! He’s actually accomplished quite a lot’ so probably quite a stupid question, but he was very honest and modest and made a great director.

MG: It’s so good. And so good for Colin. And Julianne [Moore] is bloody great in it as well. But the real star of it, it has to be said, is Tom. It silences immediately the people who were going ‘you self indulgent cunt.’ It’s like two massive fingers up to them as it is very, very accomplished.

NH: It’s very personal to him as well.

MG: Hugely personal as the main story sort of mirror images the relationship between him and Richard. There’s a similar age gap.

NH: He would always say my character is him when he was 18. He’s connected to every character and he knows them.

MG: And he wrote the screenplay and it’s starkly different from the book.

NH: Matthew’s read the book, so –

MG: That’s right! I have. It is different. I am always about the script, really. But one of the really nice things about being involved is that it is a love poem to Tom’s partner, Richard.

NH: Tom is very good in the sense that he is an actor’s director and knows what he wants you to do but is very giving to let you go off and explore things and try stuff out. And you don’t feel too much pressure of failure.

MG: That’s very true.

NH: ‘Cause the second you’re on set – especially when there’s only 20 days to shoot – to not feel the pressure, that’s a good atmosphere he created. Something his assistant was saying the other day was that he’s very good at holding his hands up and would admit when he wasn’t sure what he was doing and kept everyone on side and made it a really great team effort.

MG: I love it when someone’s like that. It’s so far away from self indulgent as well when someone’s shooting into the 19th hour of the day and the ship isn’t sinking, but there’s a leak and it’s far better to say we do have a leak and I’m trying to sort it out rather than leaning on one side and saying everything is fine. He is fucking great.

ON COLIN FIRTH

MG: Colin was great. I knew he was going to be good. The moment I read the script, I was like, ‘this is something you haven’t done in a long time’ – just something he could really get his teeth into. He’s such a subtle actor and it’s been a long time since I can remember him having something that central and serious.

NH: It was a great moment when we went to the Venice Film Festival and got the message Colin was winning the best actor award.

MG: I know. The previous evening we had sat there and we knew it had gone down well because there was a NINE minute standing ovation. And particularly when you’re not in the film as much as I am, then I feel like a fucking charlatan. I stood there and am looking down and smiling and embarrassed. Colin’s quite emotional and I tell you what – four minutes of a standing ovation gets a bit uncomfortable, but NINE? ‘OK, Colin… fucking move. Let’s go. Let’s leave.’ And he couldn’t tell us that he had won and so he was being shy about it.

NH: Yeah, he kept it very quiet.

MG: The moment we found out and we were on the boat we were like ‘What the fuck? You’ve won and you didn’t tell us!? And he was like ‘ I know, I didn’t wanna.’ He was humble.

NH: It was great. It was a bit of an odd first day like you had in the sense that I had to strip off in front of Colin on my first day. It sounds a bit seedy when I say ‘strip off in front of him’.

MG: It does!

NH: It’s part of the film, I swear! And it’s handled a lot more tastefully that that might seem, but yeah it was a bit of an odd first day.

MG: Everyone is going to say ‘oh it’s a gay movie’ which we then counteract with ‘no it’s not, it’s a film about love.’ But there is nudity and a bit of man kissing. Frankly Colin kisses like a nymphomaniac on death row, but it was a real pleasure!

NH: He’s got a lot of love!

ON JULIANNE MOORE

MG: She’s a fucking hero. She’s lovely. I didn’t have any scenes with her. I mean I’m only in flashback, so all my stuff was with Colin.

NH: All my stuff is with Colin as well. The first time I met Julianne was in Venice.

MG: Yeah, she was probably in the middle of juggling six projects or something, you know, she never stops working. She came in and shot two scenes, which were about 20 odd minutes of the film, and they did that in two evenings so she was in and out. I never got a chance to meet her until I was at some party in LA and she is just fantastic. And she’s married to a guy called Bart Freadlich who is a director in his own right.

NH: He’s a hero.

MG: He is actually fabulous! My girlfriend spent the whole evening calling him Bert instead of Bart and he was like ‘you know, actually I prefer Bert! Don’t worry about it’. He’s lovely. They could throw their weight around, but they are actually family people and live in New York – they’re kind of anti Hollywood.

ON THE LIFE OF AN ACTOR

MG: There are a lot of Brits and Aussies at the moment who are working. I don’t know what that means. But we never think of ourselves. When you get off the plane and you’re in America they ask ‘what’s the best thing about being a movie star?’ I am a jobbing actor, they have no idea! They make it sound like I get 500 scripts and am sitting there going through them all. If something comes up and they are stupid enough to give it to us or you love the script and audition but someone of a huge stature can come in and take it like Brad Pitt. Or Judi [Dench] – we’ve been up against each other a couple of times.

NH: I’ve never lost out to Judi yet.

MG: Only in a drinking contest! The vicious alcoholic that she is!

NH: Sam Worthington was telling me when he was in LA someone asked him why there were so many Aussies over there doing so well and his response was that it’s an awful long way to go to fail and not give it your best shot, basically.

MG: Oh. I was expecting some sort of knob gag in there, but yeah.

NH: It’s very true. I just got back from LA and every TV series has an English guy in the lead. Joseph Fiennes, Matthew Reece [RHYS]

MG: We’re good. We’re quite good…

N H: I can’t say it’s the training, because I don’t have any.

MG: You’re doing well! You make people gasp! You complete cunt. I hate that!

NH: You’re coming across very eloquent.

MG: That’s very nice of you. OK, who used to live with Ewan McGregor and Jude Law and he has a TV show? You’re right about that. Though it makes it sound like ‘Oh you’re English. Have a TV show’. I’m sure they all have about ten auditions.

NH: I had an interesting day recently when I was at a BBQ and Jimmy Page and Roger Daltrey were there.

MG: Wow!

NH: I sat there and was very quiet because I thought if I speak to them I’ll make a fool of myself so it’s best to keep out of the way and then they can’t have any bad thoughts although they probably didn’t know I was there. But I knew they were there so it was a good BBQ for me.

MG: I’d love to learn guitar. It’s one of those things I’d love to do. Though it’s not like I don’t have the time…

NH: [Laughs]

MG: I’d like to know all the chords.

NH: It’s difficult to get the fingering right… That’s what she said.

MG: And back to Dame Judi!

NH: [Laughs]

MG: It depends if you have a high action or a low action in terms of the strings. It hurts. You’ve got to build up the calluses. If you get a low action one that would be easier.

NH: Are we still talking about women?

MG: Yes! [Laughs] I remember Billy Crudup got the part in Almost Famous and he had lessons with Peter Frampton but had to have lessons on the side because Peter was like ‘you are fucking terrible’. But that’s one of the nice accidents of the job is you can get training in things. And random travel.

NH: I got to do archery.

MG: You did! That was The Weatherman!

NH: No, for Clash of the Titans. I didn’t use it once.

MG: Oh yes, it was the daughter in The Weatherman.

NH: Yeah man, keep up.

MG: Sorry mate. That’s how pretty you are. I confused you with the female lead.

NH: He’s seen all my work.

MG: I have! I’ve got to learn how to do it. You are a master. I did a Spanish film and it was all in Spanish [!] – I learnt it phonetically. Jesus, that’s my only skill. The major skill I picked up is I can pay my rent. The older you get the more you realize there are a lot of people who hate their jobs. I’m so glad I’m not – ha! Famous last words! – it does seem to be going OK for now. But bringing it back to what do you like about acting – to be honest, everything.

ON BRITISH TALENT

MG: I think there is an element that we’re just so happy to work. Certainly as for getting into film it was such an accident because I hadn’t worked in front of a camera. For a while it was like what is the secret code to working on screen? I have no idea what it is… but even ten films in I’m still sitting here renting and not owning a house. I think that keeps you grounded. As opposed to some American actors who are on a hundred thousand dollars doing some TV.

NH: You don’t get comfortable so you feel you’ve got to keep on striving.

MG: I think we’re overrated. [Laughs]. There is an element over there if you walk into a room of Americans that they’re suddenly like ‘oh fuck they’re British and we’re steeped in tradition.

NH: It’s odd that Tom got so many English actors for the film – we’re both playing American.

MG: And Julianne is playing English.

NH: it’s good he trusts in us to pull of the American accents.

MG: Yeah, I mean – idiot! In fairness you’ve done it before and I have done it a couple of times. But it is odd. If you think who he probably could have had –

NH: He probably could have done better than us!

MG: I’m sure he could have convinced someone with a much higher stature. I think it was just we were willing to work for free, effectively. And that’s also what makes Britain great. We want to work and we want to please the director and often at times, yes we might have strong thoughts on character and script, but we turn up and are like, this is your vision and you are the director and we know where we fit in. Certainly the Brits, I find, we want to be told what to do or how it’s going to work rather than, ‘I’m the fucking star!’ I tend to find we leave our ego at the door. We tend not to pussyfoot around. We all like a drink. We’re steeped in that tradition as well. There’s a certain forbidden thing in America if you drink you’re an alcoholic. No I’m not, and I generally wait until at least half past one.

NH: On weekends. Weekdays, 11.

MG: There is a reason pubs are opened at 11 and it’s because you are allowed to start drinking at that time. Otherwise, they wouldn’t do it! Christ, can you remember back to when – you might not remember, actually. I gasp at your beauty as I try to remember!

NH:[laughs] I’m never going to live this down!

MG:Do you remember when pubs shut on Sundays at, like, 1 for two or three hours? Maybe I’m showing my age now. That is fucking madness. There would be a riot now.

NH: So basically, we haven’t found a conclusion to what makes Britain great… You’re a big X Factor fan though, aren’t you?

MG: My girlfriend loves it. She’s got me into it. I mean it’s fucking hilarious. You literally sit there and you don’t know any of these people but the music comes up and they get selected and you can be in tears and so happy that these people have been selected for the live shows. I really like the over 25’s this year. They’re fucking great.

NH: Matthew Goode on The X Factor!

MG: ‘He’s very much into the over 25s and what is funny is they are all male’. But it is great. But then it’s such a machine. There is such a turn around. Sometimes the winner gets completely forgotten and they have no career and then, obviously, sometimes they go shooting up. But it is great telly! Saturday night, a couple of beers and The X Factor.

[Pics - My edit of Ben Rayner photos/scan by Natalie Fairchild.]

#matthew goode #nic hoult #a single man #a discovery of witches #adow #just in case ADOW fans are interested - it's a stretch I know.........

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hualianff · 4 years ago

Text

More Than This VI 《V》

It’s no surprise XL gains his own taste of fame after walking the red carpet with one of the most sought-after actors in the country. He doesn’t mind it, going as far as to create a few social media accounts to interact with fans and scroll through their photos and edits of him. He has a few fan sites too, but only for fancy events where he chooses to be recognized in public.

XL and HC agreed before sharing their relationship with the public that they would maintain a strong sense of privacy when it came to their personal lives. They only share what they want to. The paparazzi who manage to take photos without permission are immediately disciplined so it doesn’t happen again.

(“I can’t believe you did it.”

“Hmm, Gege said he was okay with it.”

“I know! But I didn’t expect you to actually....” XL stares at a recent selfie of them HC had posted on his Twitter, taken the night HC won his award. “We look like we just had sex.”

“Nobody’s gonna know.”

XL raises an unimpressed eyebrow at his boyfriend. HC insists again.

“Nobody’s gonna know-”

“They’re gonna know,” XL says with a sigh, pointing to the hickey marks clearly visible on the photo. HC rolls over closer to XL in their bed, scrutinizing the image on XL’s phone.

“Oh, I didn’t see those when I posted the photo.”

“San Laaang!” XL cries, pushing at the taller man’s shoulder before burying his face into his pillow. HC makes XL breakfast in bed as an apology and promises to not drunk-post anything again.)

Eight months after officially dating–which is over two years since they met–HC asks XL to move in with him. XL doesn’t even need to think about his answer, a simple “Yes! Yes please!” escaping his lips. Both HC and XL’s faces light up with overjoyed smiles.

They seem to have had the same idea about where to live, purchasing a home they’ve been eyeing for months! The best aspects include a massive yard (front, side, and back) for XL to tend to, a hot tub, and a spacious living and dining room area to entertain guests. It’s not the grandest or most impressive residence by size or feature. In fact, the first months have them living in a half-finished, rusty house with the prettiest garden you’ve ever seen.

It gradually gets better. HC and XL knew they would have to do a lot of work to improve the shape of their home. Over the next year, they repair and remodel the house themselves, simultaneously adding value to the property and curating the style to fit their dream home. XL makes sure to post progress photos on his social media. His most recent selfie of HC and himself in hardware glasses got over 500k likes! He pinned HC’s comment that said, “Gege is my own very handyman!”

(HC, in a sleeveless tee, shorts that show off his ass, hair pulled back into a high bun: “Gege, you’re the boss now. Tell me what to do.”

XL, struggling not to gawk at HC’s side boobs: “O-okay, first, can you smash those cabinets-”

Cue them making out against the counter when it’s the only part of the kitchen that is fully done.)

***

Having a partner who considers the outdoors as a second home is a special experience. XL often takes HC on dates to national parks and plant nurseries. They go on weekend camping trips where XL teaches HC how to properly filter water, summit long stretches of terrain, and stay warm during cold nights with below-freezing temperatures.

(HC, trying to fit into XL’s sleeping bag: “Hi, gege-”

XL: “San Lang, you have your own sleeping bag that you can actually fit in.”

HC: ‘But I’m cold. Gege helps keep me warm.”

XL: “Fine. But let’s use yours because it’s bigger.”

HC, kissing XL’s forehead: “Thank you, my love.”)

On their hikes, XL points to different plants, explaining their origins and why he finds each one particularly beautiful. At first, HC picks up random flowers on the way home and then he asks XL about what flower fate gave him that day to gift his beloved. (“San Lang, that’s not allowed!”) HC eventually stores all the random facts in his mind, always eager to listen to XL talking about his passion. He also learns to keep his hands from digging up “poor, helpless plants from their home soil.”

However, this unfortunately doesn't prevent HC from accidentally squishing some plants in their yard that he thought were just weeds.

(HC, thinking he’s a good partner: “Get out, stupid weeds. CHOP CHOP!”

XL: “SAN LANG STOP, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”

HC: “Gege always works so hard. I just wanted to help you in the yard today because you deserve it.” 🥺

XL: *sigh* “I appreciate the gesture, San Lang. But those particular grasses took months to grow, and you just killed them-“)

***

Countless media outlets try to stir up trouble like they typically do with celebrities. Especially when HC has roles that involve romance, articles claiming HC and XL are on the brink of breaking up receive lots of attention. However, what gains more attention are the videos the couple posts on Youtube or Instagram live of their reactions to their “scandals.”

(XL, reading a headline: “Actor bachelor Hua Cheng and co-star Yushi Huang seem to be cozying up after a late-night shoot.’”

HC: “I’m not a bachelor, the fuck?”

XL, smiling: “You could be. Me as well. We can be bachelors together.”

HC, chuckling: “All right. If gege is, then so am I.”

The comments: “That doesn’t make any sense!?”

HC, reading another headline: “HC’s lover found with a mysterious third party??”

XL, exclaiming: “Oh, that’s Shi Qingxuan! You know, the designer for all our red carpet outfits!” 🥰🥰

HC: *nodding along*

XL, cheekily: “-and my secret second-lover”

HC: *blanches* “What.”

XL: “Kidding!!!! San Lang is the only one for me, hehe.” *kisses HC’s cheek* “Okay, next one!”)

Everyone watching the videos is 50% confused and 50% entertained as HC and XL make light of any drama the media portrays them in. Viewers accept that of course, the rumors aren’t true; HC and XL are still very much in love.

They’re in love with each other and will continue falling for many years to come.

***

HC doesn’t like watching himself on screen. However, he does enjoy previewing his own movies for the first time with his boyfriend.

While XL watches the new movie, HC observes XL’s reactions. It helps that XL is a conversational movie watcher too. XL’s narrations consist of horny comments during the sexual scenes (“Ooh, that’s hot. Nice tongue.” “Thank you?”), side remarks about the plot and characters (“San Lang, your character is very rude.” “...”), and dramatic reactions to the huge reveal scenes where HC becomes a human punch bag. (“Oh my goooosh, San Lang!! It was him all along- AHH!!”)

As a perfectionist, something you have to be in HC’s field of work, HC is incredibly self-critical of his performance. Which is another reason why it’s nice to have XL watch alongside with, who never has a shortage of praises for his boyfriend.

(HC: “Fuck, why did they leave this shot in the final? I’m supposed to be mourning for my dead lover but instead, I look like I’m crying out of daddy issues. Why did no one tell me!? It looks so bad-” *pointing to himself on the screen* “-stop looking so constipated-!”

XL, squeezing HC’s nape and massaging his shoulders: “San Lang, no one thinks that except for you. You did everything perfectly. Please acknowledge your hard work and just enjoy the movie.”

HC: *sigh* “You’re right. Okay. Thanks, gege.”

A beat of silence. HC cuddles closer to XL.

HC: “Love you.”

XL: “Love you too.”)

***

XL now knows HC’s movies well enough to quote HC’s lines in his movies to make him laugh. HC happily indulges him, questioning after breaking character, “Gege, are you sure I’m the actor out of the two of us?”

One time, HC and XL are in their kitchen re-enacting a scene with HC as the investigator going to a bartender for more information on his suspect. HC has XL caged against the counter, asking in a teasing manner, “How can I repay you for your help tonight?”

XL lowers his eyelids, looking up through his lashes, flawlessly depicting his character. “Any restrictions on your offer?”

“No, darling. Name a price, a brand, a desire. Right now, anything is on the table,” HC says huskily. XL slyly bites his lip.

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

XL brings a hand up to cup HC’s jaw, then smooths it down his neck, traveling down his bare chest. XL tilts his head to expose his neck, wanting to build up his boyfriend’s anticipation. But before he can say his next line, HC effortlessly throws XL over his shoulder like a bag of rice.

“San Lang, wait, this is not how it went in the movie!” XL shouts, a little dizzy from the sudden lift turning him upside down. HC takes long strides to their bedroom, plopping XL on their mattress and blanketing him with his larger frame.

HC only utters a husky “we’re improvising” before diving down to devour XL’s lips. XL’s arms hook around HC’s neck, holding him impossibly close.

***

After a filming shoot where HC’s character gets beaten up–HC performing his own stunts–he heads home beyond exhausted. He just wants to take a relaxing shower and cuddle his boyfriend in their warm bed.

HC arrives at their house a little past midnight. He opens the door and finds XL’s back facing him, quietly humming a song as he takes care of the vase in the living room. The sight makes HC smile.

However, as XL turns around, the vase slips from his hands and explodes into pieces on the ground.

“San Lang! What happened to you!?” XL cries out, the panic in his voice only comparable to the day he had confessed. HC stands in the doorway confused. Was something wrong with his appearance?

XL is on him in an instant, his pupils shaking as he frantically asks, “Does it hurt a lot? What happened!?”

HC blinks, expression blank as he still doesn't understand what has freaked XL out. But as the shorter man gently caresses HC’s face, it suddenly hits him.

The make up!

HC urgently starts rubbing the fake bruises off his face. “Gege, I’m okay! It’s just make up, none of this is real. See?” He holds his hands out for XL to see as the pigment stains HC’s palms. “I’m so sorry! San Lang is dumb, he didn’t mean to make you worry,” HC murmurs as he takes XL between his arms. He really loves this man too much.

XL’s teary eyes shine glimmer as HC embraces him. “Y-you’re sure you’re okay?”

HC nods, leaning into the slender hand that cups his cheek.

“Thank goodness,” XL breaths out as he buries his face into HC’s neck. His next words are slightly muffled. “It looks…so realistic.”

“Yeah, the make up artists are all quite talented, aren’t they?”

XL clings tighter to HC.

“Very much so. Let’s shower so we can properly wash it off.”

“All right,” HC says. “Wait, we?”

XL tugs HC toward the master bathroom.

“Hush, let’s go.”

***

They lay in bed together after four long months of separation. Both of them had been in different parts of the country; HC filmed a drama series while XL traveled for several high-profile projects. Their respective busy work schedules limited communication to brief video chats and text messages, which never seemed enough.

Now, with his head resting on HC’s chest, their legs overlapping comfortably, XL finally feels like he’s where he belongs.

“Why did you choose me?”

Tactical fingers massage XL’s scalp, lulling him into a serene state of bliss. XL nuzzles further into his boyfriend-sized pillow.

“It’s not like I can choose who I fall in love with, Gege,” HC states with a light chuckle. “But if you want an answer, it’s because you are everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner.”

XL looks up at his boyfriend, mouth forming a shape of an O.

“That simple? Even when we made a deal to have no strings attached?” XL asks. HC groans at the reminder of their initial agreement.

“Yes, which was a dumb decision on my part.”

“I agreed to it too. We were both dumb.”

They are silent for a moment. It’s not the first time they’ve talked about or referenced their insecurities when it came to confessing their feelings. XL’s luck when it came to dating someone who could love him for every part of him was practically nonexistent. HC’s constant grappling for his self-identity and worth rendered most of his relationships superficial. And temporary.

Always temporary.

“I can’t believe you thought I didn’t like your plants though. They’re so pretty. And fascinating.” HC says, breaking the silence.

“They take up half our living room space.”

“So? You work with plants all day. They’re bound to be a part of your personal life as well.”

XL’s heart bursts with a sudden fondness. It’s a wonderful thing to be appreciated for the little things.

“I’m glad you think so,” he says happily. HC hums in response, sending vibrations to where XL’s cheek lays on his chest. “I can’t believe I didn’t know you were a famous actor for the first three months we…”

“Met up for sex?” HC finishes with an impish grin.

“Yes,” XL laughs.

“It was nice not to be recognized for once. With you, I could just be myself,” HC says with ease he never thought he would be able to do. He’s struggled with letting himself be vulnerable his whole life. It turns out, HC just had to find the right person. And thank god he did. XL is more than HC’s outlet from his career. He’s become HC’s closest friend who knows him the best; he is HC’s number one supporter in any endeavor he pursues; he makes HC feel important. XL sees and loves HC for who he is. No amount of fame or wealth could come close to comparison.

“Gege?”

“Hmm?”

“Does it ever bother you that my life is always everyone else’s business?” HC softly asks.

“Well, the fame can be a bit…uncomfortable,” XL admits. “But you’re an amazing actor. And a remarkable person. I can’t blame your fans for loving you so much, you know? I also got to ride in a limo-“

“Which you rode very well-”

XL flicks his boyfriend’s forehead.

“You’re so predictable.”

“You would’ve said the same thing given the chance. Don’t lie, gege.”

They go back and forth a little longer, never once creating unnecessary distance between each other as they roll around until they’re on their sides. Facing each other in their bed that’s been vacant for months, HC and XL are inseparable.

“As I was saying, fame is something that comes with your job–your passion. You can’t control it, nor does it solely characterize who you are. Besides, I get to be a part of your life! That’s all that really matters,” XL continues. He shifts forward so their bodies are closely pressed together. XL plants a kiss on HC’s chin, then whispers a confession that tilts HC’s entire world on its axis.

“I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone like you.”

HC’s world spins and spins until all that he sees is his beloved, gleaming brighter than all the galaxies without the power to disrupt their orbit. He wraps his arms around XL and kisses the top of his head.

“Me too, Gege.”

Bonus:

HC watches wearily as XL salivates at a showering scene where HC’s bare ass flashes in the frame. XL turns to HC with a serious look in his eyes.

“San Lang! Hiking has done your ass wonders.”

XL sneaks a grope to a meaty cheek. HC chokes.

***

“You can’t be late to your own premiere!” XL cries incredulously.

“Try me,” HC purrs into XL’s ear, delicately kissing the lobe.

XL gasps as teasing hands roam around his torso, one of them slipping down to cup his behind. He vaguely thinks about how SQX is expecting them in the next hour to help with their red carpet outfits. But when hungry lips attach to the sensitive column of his neck, XL is a goner.

“Gege doesn’t have to do any work. Just lay back and look pretty.”

(Brainchild with @no-one-says-hi!)

#tgcf #heavenly official's blessing #hualian #hualian au #cerdrabbles #fluff #Actor HC #Landscaper XL #fine.

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princessofprocrastination · 4 years ago

Text

Not Even Real (Sapnap)

MASTERLIST

pairing : sapnap x reader

summary : everyone shipped them even from the start, but what they don’t know is that it’s all just a one sided love, and none of the relationship was ever real. (ANGST)

they think we live in a movie, that our love was created from the start, that it was written down on a piece of paper, that this was meant to be, that we’re lucky.

but they’re wrong. they don’t know how hurt you are. they don’t see how unhappy you are behind the four walls of your room, when you’re away from them.

they don’t know how hard you try to stop yourself from spewing out the truth. the truth he doesn’t want to let out. the truth that it was all for show.

it started friendly, meeting each other from the love of playing minecraft. you met clay or more known as dream, first. you two became close on social media as you watched one of his first videos on youtube.

the friendship was smooth sailing, and you thought your life couldn’t get any better. you then met george, but never made it to meet since you lived all away at texas.

not long after that, you three became super close friends with nick, sapnap, it seemed so perfect, he was your age and he lived in texas, too.

then you met the rest, like darryl, who’s known as badboyhalo. the five of you were inseparable, constantly playing minecraft, trying out new codes for your respective channels.

none of you had met officially, in real life but nick and you agreed to meet since you lived really close to each other, anyways.

it started as a friendly little diner “date.” when you two met, it wasn’t awkward, not even a little. you two would not shut up about minecraft or any other new games for you to play.

and since you two also already had respective face reveals, you sent the groupchat a selfie of you two, showing them that you two had met each other, even before everyone else did.

the rest of you did eventually meet, specifically in brighton. you all flew to england to meet them, you and nick getting plane tickets together and meeting at the airport on the day of departure.

of course, as of many public figures, you get shipped with many people.

it started of with dream, then george, thne wilbur, at some point because people saw how close you all were. of course soon enough, you and nick were bound to be shipped too.

it was all an opinion, none of the ships died down, yet the ships just kept coming. you never thought it was annoying until you realize you fell for the one and only texan.

you didn’t fall easily. in fact, you had only been in one other relationship, which had ended really badly that once you left highschool, you didn’t want to be tied down anymore.

nick and you just seemed to be grower closer and closer together, so close that people started speculating something.

of course, as a normal person, you had imagined what it would be like to date him, what it would be like to not be friends with him, but more.

and as a normal girl, before you sleep, you’d hope that he was deep in love with you just as much.

but that wasn’t the case.

nick saw the rumours, the ship comments. he wasn’t particularly bothered by them. and as of any big group, containing a girl, the girl was bound to be shipped with everyone.

the boys had a separate group chat on discord. some things, they just didn’t want you to know.

in there, nick was teased a lot, being the only one that was your age.

he didn’t know why he thought about it, but he did. he questioned himself what would it be like to date you.

no, not for real. he just thought about what it was like to fake date you and act like you two were a couple in front of your friends and your supporters.

when he had told you the idea, you were shocked. thank god he called you normally, not on facetime, or else you would’ve made it so obvious that you loved him.

your heart was beating out out your chest when he proposed the idea of dating.

but your heart sunk down to your stomach the moment he said that he wanted to prank people by fake dating.

you never thought he would be that person. the person to break your heart. he probably doesn’t know it was hurting you anyway. but still, it hurt like shit.

you two agreed that none of the other boys should know about it, and to only tell that that you two realized you liked each other and decided to date.

since then, it was never the same.

there were some pros and cons. well, more cons than pros, in your opinion.

sure, you’d get to act like you actually a couple in front of the camera and your friends, but that just made you feel worst.

everyday, you heart just gets heavier at the weight of the truth on your shoulders.

nick and yourself booked tickets to fly to england the second time, meeting an extended version of the dream team.

you were excited to meet tommy and tubbo, along with the rest, of course.

since all of you decide that it would be better to rent out an airbnb, everyone was staying in one house. lucky for you, niki was also there, which meant that you weren’t going to be the only girl.

that also meant that you didn’t need to bunk in with nick, instead, you had to room with niki, which you happily agreed to.

walking out the arrival hall with nick was hard, you had to suck it up and act happy for the sack of pranking your friends.

nick had no clue that his proposal had been eating you up. he noticed that you were off but he just though you were having a bad day.

when you all met at the airbnb, everyone was so welcoming and they left you and nick for a while to rest after the flight.

during dinner was when it all went down. the questions spewed out like water. it never stopped. you would answer them but you’d leave nick to answer most, seeing that he made this up anyway.

the night was terrible for you. to show the rest that you two were actually dating, you had to sit close to each other throughout the entire trip. you’d have to cuddle during movie night, sit by each other whenever you ate meals, hold each others hands.

you’d have to act happy in front of them, for the sake of nick. never in a million years, you thought that you had to sacrifice your happiness for someone you love.

when you two flew back to texas, you tried your best not to say anything. you didn’t want to snap at him for no reason. you weren’t angry at him, how could you. you were just upset at how he’s doing so well acting it out.

you were upset seeing this because this meant he didn’t even like you, yet love you.

everyday, your mental health became worst. you couldn’t believe you’re even getting up to stream anymore.

multiple times, you’ve asked yourself “why am i doing this? what was the point? what would be the consequence of just saying you didn’t want to do this anymore?”

you knew once you said you wanted to leave this fake relationship that it would mean you’ll lose your friends, your only friends.

as days go by, you didn’t even feel like picking up your phone anymore. you didn’t want to see the cute photos your friends took of you and nick. to which nick had told you to put as your wallpaper in order to make it more believable.

the fans that saw your wallpaper on tommy’s vlog went crazy. they had see nick’s, too. a photo of you smiling. everyone thought it was adorable. and so did you, but you were more hurt than happy.

you didn’t want to this anymore. you hated lying. to your fans, your friends. you hated how the truth weigh you down. you needed to tell someone.

since you and clay had been friends for so long, you knew that if you were to tell someone, that it would be him.

so you called him that day. more specifically, you facetimed him.

“hello?” he greeted me, but was confused on why i was calling him.

“i just need to tell you something, and you can’t tell anyone else for my sake.” you told him, starting to cry.

“oh my god, you’re crying.” he looked concern.

you poured everything out that day. every single detail you could spew out, you did.

the weight on your shoulder lessened, but not enough. you needed to get away from all the chaos.

clay was surprised. he never thought that the relationship would be fake. he thought you two are fated together.

maybe it was just the acting. clay was surprised when you cried on facetime.

this meant that it was very serious. he told you that he would be there for you throughout this thing, and that you’ll figure it out soon.

during minecraft manhunt, while george was afk and you all weren’t recording anymore, clay asked nick about you.

“she’s amazing man, i see her everyday.” he says. clay can sense the smile as he says that.

damn, he was a good actor. you and nick hadn’t met since coming home from brighton, and clay knew that.

you called clay everyday since then, always updating him about things that are going on.

to clay’s surprise, nick hadn’t even checked in on her since they arrived back in texas.

sure, nick is clay’s bestfriend but this was unacceptable. clay cared about you so much. he hated to see you this broken. not when the texan boy had no clue that this was his doing.

you didn’t get any better. worse, actually.

clay was nervous. he was so worried. worried that you’d do something you regret. something you can’t take back. clay wished he could time travel and make it better from the start.

you hadn’t streamed in so long. your excuse was that you had been sick. acceptable excuse. but not to clay, no.

he needed to act fast before you do something drastic.

the fans who were worried about you constantly asked nick about you.

“she’s fine, just feeling under the weather.” he’d say.

the more you stayed in texas, the more pain it brought you. you needed to leave.

you were in too deep in the nest of feelings you made in your brain. you made it so you could forget nick. but every time you open your social media, there would always be questions about nick and you.

you were sick of it, the constant pain in your chest that never rests. the tweets that you would see about your disappearance.

you knew people were worried about you. but to you, the only one you cared to be worried about you was nick. and so far, he didn’t give two fucks about your whereabouts.

that sucked. but you needed to let go.

when you told clay this, he welcomed you to stay with him with open arms. so you got right into work and packed all your stuff to permanently live with him.

nick. he didn’t know what he has doing. he didn’t understand why he didn’t just pick u his phone and send you a text, to make sure you were okay. he didn’t know all this was his fault.

it sounded selfish, but he enjoyed the attention when he announced that you and him are dating.

he never really sat down to think about you. to him, it was like a contract.

platonic contract for content. for views. like a script.

the day you were leaving for florida, he sat down on his bed just thinking about you. he couldn’t understand why he was, but he did.

he thought about how weird this was. script or not, this seemed wrong. very wrong. he never thought about your feelings. he never prioritized your feelings or you in general.

he felt bad. now that he thought about it, he hadn’t spoken to you since you came back from england.

he picked up his phone to call you, to ask if you were okay. it didn’t go through.

weird.

then he thought about the time chat kept on asking him about you, asking him to go to her house and check on you. he always told his fans that you were okay and that he had already gone to check on you.

but that was far from the truth. but no one knew that.

he didn’t know that the reason why his call didn’t go through was because you were on a plane, leaving texas, leaving him.

he sent you a text so that you could get back to you later.

he didn’t know that you were writing a paragraph on your notes app. a paragraph to apologize to your fans. to nick’s fans. for lying to them all this while.

you held in your tears as you sat in the plane to florida for 2 and a half hours. although you were sad to leave one of the people you love the most, but you knew that to keep your mental health stable, you needed to leave him behind.

you bought wifi on the plane so that you could text clay and the rest of the boys, plus niki. you couldn’t leave them hanging, there were the people who stayed with you through everything, the good and the bad.

you texted them on discord and posted the note paragraph you saved and screenshotted.

you let out a breath of relief once you posted and texted your friends. finally, the heavy weight is off your shoulders.

you saw a text from nick. you knew you had to restrain yourself. you couldn’t go back to him. it would hurt you even more, even if he didn’t know it hurt you.

you texted clay once you landed, making sure he knew which part of the arrival hall you’d be at.

you walked out as the automatic glass doors open, seeing clay sitting on one of the benches. you smiled at him as he notices your arrival, pushing your trolley full of multiple bags you brought.

clay ran up to you to give you a hug as you got closer. he hugged you tightly, to show you that he is here for you, always.

“i am so proud of you. for being brave enough to leave your comfort zone, for willing to start fresh.” he whispers in your ear, still hugging you.

you almost teared up. “come on, let’s go home.” he pushes your trolley, leading you to his car.

you were drained when you came back to clay’s house, now yours too. emotionally, and physically drained.

although that wasn’t a long plane ride, the sleepless nights are finally catching up to you.

you opened instagram, remembering the screenshot you posted a while ago on the plane. your phone almost glitched at the amount of people tagging you or commenting on your photos. some even dming you.

you were overwhelmed with the amount of support your fans brought to you. they told you to take a break, to slowly settle in florida with clay, away from the public eye.

you also read all your friends’ texts. they were fully supportive of your decision. although it sounded easy, they said they were proud of you for even thinking about leaving your hometown, let alone actually doing it.

you even opened the texts from nick. it went from “hey, are you getting better?” to “what’s with your post on instagram”

you thought about texting him, to get a full closure. some people needed that. and him being one of your bestfriends, you cared about him immensely.

the most recent text he sent, said “i understand why you did it, i’m sorry i acted like i didn’t care. i hope you know that i’ll be here for you, whenever you’re ready to talk to me again. please take care of yourself. i love you so much.”

your heart skipped a beat when you read his text, especially when he said “i love you”. you had to tell yourself that he didn’t mean it that way, that he meant to say he loved you as a friend, not a lover.

you looked back at the screenshot you posted, rereading it.

it read. “hi guys. it’s been a while, and i’ve been aware. i’m not one to lie, and i feel immensely guilty for keeping you guys in the dark for this long. first of all, i haven’t been sick lately, not a normal flu, that’s for sure. my mental health has been on the all time low. this had been the lowest i have ever been in years since i became a public figure. secondly, i haven’t been fully truthful to you guys about my relationship. i would just like to say that nick is an amazing person. he has never hurt me, not intentionally. him and i decided that it would be a great idea to fake a relationship between the two of us. this was no one’s fault but my own, for agreeing to it. i have loved nick even from the start, till now. and although i knew that i had feelings for him, i still agreed. and that is no one’s fault but my own.”

you scrolled down more to read the next half. “i had to live with a heavy weight on my shoulder for a couple months, thus me making this. you guys have been super supportive through thick and thin, so i felt guilty for lying to you for this long. and to clear things up, this does not mean i am leaving the dream team. in fact, i am moving in with dream! i hope you guys understand to what extent this has gone to and why i disappeared fr so long without explanation. i love you guys, forever and always. thank you for staying with me this long, i hope you stay. see you soon!” it finishes.

you teared reading it all over again. you knew this was a bad idea, to read it again.

been only a day but you really miss sapnap. it’s not easy to drop every thing in texas to move away from somewhere that you’ve called home. but this is your new home now.

SAPNAP’S POV

i knew i should’ve texted her earlier, to check on her, to make sure she’s okay.

i knew there was something wrong, i called it. but because of my stupidity, i wasted her love for me.

and for what? content? it wasn’t worth it.

now i’ve lost her. potentially forever. i don’t know how to get her back. not after what i did to her. not after what my ignorance did to her.

i needed to get her back but i knew that this break waws good for her, this move was good for her. she deserved the break she has now. and i won’t talk to her until she’s ready to talk to me.

i’ll be waiting, till she comes.

#sapnap imagines #sapnap x reader #sapnap imagine #sapnap

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whatisgrass · 4 years ago

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Sasuke is the best boi. Prove me wrong.

I couldn't give two diddly fucks about what anyone says to me. You can't change my mind. Let's get started, shall we?

1. {Personal reason #1} He is hotter than fire.

OK, let's get this out of the way. I know this is probably not a valid reason to like someone. But, GODDAMN, BOI!

I now realize why the girls (and Naruto) were attracted to him. 'Cause goddamn! I'd die for him too, ngl. Aye, Naruto really said, "All that mine." Lucky blondie. His voice, his hair, his body, OH MY FUCKING GOD! Both the Japanese and English voice actors make his voice very attractive. Is it even legal to be this attractive and hot and good-looking and-

2. He is hella talented.

The way this man can throw a kunai so straight, even though he isn't. I love the fact how he can learn things quickly and use them like a fucking pro. Like the Chidori for example.

I low-key thought he created it, not gonna lie. Then I learned Kakashi taught him. Whoopies daisy.

3. He is very protective.

Dude, the way he cares about Naruto people. My guy really threw himself in front of Naruto to protect knowing it was a trap, knowing it would probably get him killed, knowing it would destroy his plan of killing Itachi, but this man did it anyway.

Plus, when Kakashi said that if he and Sakura fed Naruto when they weren't supposed to, it could throw them back to the academy, ultimately throwing him back on his plan of killing Itachi. Yet, he still did it anyway. He really said, "Fuck being a ninja, I gotta make sure this idiot is fed! Send me back, I couldn't give a fuck."

4. He is a justice warrior.

When this man "killed" his older brother and only brother, Itachi Uchiha, he was taken in by Obito Uchiha and was told the truth. He was the truth about the massacre, his clan, the village, Itachi, everything. And, boy, was he pissed. He was so pissed that, along with his team, conducted a plan to destroy Konoha. Killing every single man, woman, and child. Leaving no survivors.

But, he didn't know if he should actually do that. So, he talked to the First Hokage (reincarnated) to see his side of the story. He also talked to Itachi.

After that encounter, Sasuke joined to help out in the 4th Great Ninja War. After defeating the last enemy, Sasuke wanted to end the World War. He wanted to make himself the villain; having all hate only on him and him only.

If that ain't sacrifice, ladies and gents, I don't what is.

5. I wish him a very happy divorce.

This ain't really a reason why I love him BUT he deserved better.

Way better.

He was practically forced to marry a woman who knew barely ANYTHING about him screw you, Pink Trash, have an ugly ass child, and be robbed of all the rights he deserved.

I said this in a previous post, and I'll say it again. I WISH SASUKE UCHIHA A VERY HAPPY DIVORCE.

6. His fighting style is simply badass. I'm simping for this man so hard.

Yes, he has the Sharingan and has the ability to copy his opponents' techniques from being a part of the Uchiha Clan.

BUT, he also improvises and makes it like his own. Lord have mercy, I love him.

Y'know, how he did in his fight against Rock Lee. With Lee's Hidden Lotus move. Sasuke didn't see the whole technique, but he created his Barriage of Lions. badass energy is skyrocketing.

7. He isn't like your stereotypical "emo" kid.

It's clearly obvious that Sasuke is nothing like Naruto, who is the sun, while he is the moon. Not to diss Naruto but- He doesn't put a fake smile on his face, pretending that everything is ok when it clearly isn't.

He will move his motherfucking ass and find a solution himself. He clearly isn't like your stereotypical "emo" kid where he just cries all the time and bitch about all his problems.

No.

If he did, he would get absolutely nowhere. He would have allowed Naruto to be his superior. Though, he didn't.

I most likely wouldn't have loved him as much as I do now.

He's that badass. I'm telling you, badass energy.

8. {Personal reason #2} He will always be dat man to me.

As I said in the beginning, no one can change my motherfucking mind.

This man is an excellent character.

He isn't bland, boring, he doesn't have a boring background with no goals or flavor like Pink bitch.

I don't know about you, but I need spice in my favorite characters.

He's a poor man who lost his clan due to his horrible village's government, who is trying to figure out who he is.

As a person. He still questions his existence and the person he truly is.

Overall...

I love Sasuke Uchiha of Konoha because he's handsome talented, a justice warrior, very protective, deeply cares about his family and friends, his fighting skills, his persona, and attitude. A lot of people may have given up on him, but not me! I will always have my boy's back! Of course, there are a lot more reasons, but this post will be too long.

#pro sasuke uchiha #pro sasuke #pro uchiha sasuke #anti sakura haruno #i love this man so much #god i'm simping too hard #he deserves the fucking world #he deserves so much happiness #sasuke x happiness for life tho #sasuke x happiness is the true OTP #why do people hate him #i would sell my soul to Satan just for him to be happy with himself #naruto is the luckiest man in the fucking world #anti haruno sakura #i am tagging this fucking properly #i am this close to hurting sakura for hurting sasuke #Satan can have my soul #i dont care #as long as sasuke is happy

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ladyonfire28 · 4 years ago

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Adèle Haenel: "And the fight against racism, is that a black thing?" (March 1, 2016)

Her raw talent and her unique personality are shaking up French cinema. With two Césars in her pocket, the actress from Les Combattants became an icon of auteur cinema in Les Ogres and soon with the Dardenne brothers. Interview with a thoughtful and shady feminist.

The first vision we have of Adèle Haenel when we enter the hotel room, where she has just been photographed, is that of a tall girl in denim and worn-out suede boots looking for cotton to remove her make-up. She says that it's too much, that it's not her, that we have to take it all away - this sticky femininity - and right away.

She announces her color: strong, fierce, temperamental, a little prickly, when, during the interview, she frowns and throws your questions back to you - always with great relevance. She is beautiful and abrupt, her adolescent brusqueness (even though she is 27 years old), gives the impression of robustness: a sportswoman with the shoulders of a swimmer but the face of a femme fatale from the inter-war period, green eyes and a pulpy mouth. This is an unprecedented combination in French cinema, which tends to be dominated by young first-time coquettes looking for contracts with luxury brands. We have never seen Adèle H. at the front row of fashion shows, her appearances on the red carpet - the playground of her fellow female cast members - did not stick in our memories, and that's good.

We've been keeping an eye on her since Water Lilies (2007), by Céline Sciamma, to whom she declared her love at a César Award ceremony. She won two of them, hands down: for Suzanne, and then, last year, for Les Combattants, an emblematic film that created a new image of a virile heroine in French cinema. Adèle Haenel, an icon of auteur cinema, was thrown at the heart of the system: she is the most coveted actress of the moment and has just finished in Liège The Unknown Girl, by the Dardenne brothers, who will inevitably be screened again at the next Cannes Film Festival.

You have to hear her talk about cinema, with her eyes fixed and uninterrupted flow, to understand how incandescent this girl is. In Les Ogres, a choral film by Léa Fehner that talks about the daily life of an itinerant theater that performs Chekhov, she plays Mona, actress and pregnant. The diary of this tribe that travels from city to city, a tent on their back, also draws a universal portrait of actors, truculent monsters full of love and violence.

Madame Figaro - Since the success of Les Combattants, you intrigue people...

Adèle Haenel. - I can see that the demand is stronger, but I'm not chasing after advertising and I don't intend to invade the public space. I think we have to remain discreet. Notoriety hasn't changed anything in my life and it certainly won't change my desire to make films following the same line.

What is that line ?

I make a film to carry a message. I can feel when a director has something to say. I feel something, a desire, a vibration. There is a thread, an intuition, a truth that imposes itself on me. I know what I have to do, I can feel it. It is both mystical and very rational. What is interesting is to come out of a navel-gazing, to rise up, to talk about people, to talk about the world. I like the idea that everything fits together collectively: feelings, economics, politics. A film is a common story, and I want to be part of that dialogue. A film must be in direct resonance with its time: cinema is today. I do things for now, and it's not up to me, to us, to decide whether a film is going to stay, whether it's made for eternity. I feel extremely responsible.

You feel very inhabited when you talk about cinema...

I have many other reasons to live, but, yes, I am deeply interested in the representation of things. How does cinema fit into society? Who is it for? Cinema is obviously a political act. For example, even the latest Star Wars is political. I was really relieved to see so many women and different skin colors: it means that everyone can be a hero and that feels good.

It is said that in the movies women are taking over...

It's an evergreen content. They make a big deal out of it, but if you look at the numbers, it's not so true: women are still in the minority. I can't be satisfied with that.

Do you feel the prevailing machismo that is associated with cinema?

I'm not going to waste my time and energy educating these people.

Is it easier to succeed in this job when you are a man?

Your question is a strange one. Either we point out superficial phenomena - the decision-makers are men, they have the money and therefore the power - or we debate a broader question: in what world are we evolving? And there, it's always the same thing. The world is cut in two: on the one hand, there is the man, the virile, all linked to superior qualities, and on the other hand, the lower part, the woman, the secret, the moods. Of course, all our representation is linked to this division. I often ask myself the following question: in a fair world, without discrimination, what is art? Art today is in dialogue with its time, so it does not abolish anything but is involved in the fight.

As we can't classify you, you have been labeled as virile...

I'd like someone to explain to me why people should always be defined. To be a woman, you would have to be a feminine woman, right? For me, it's redundant. I don't maintain any posture, I am myself. But the way people look at me doesn't bother me: make up your mind, there's no problem.

However, you embody a renewal at the antipodes of actresses on their first red carpets...

I don't know which ones you are talking about, but I will never be against other propositions from women. After all, they also are undoubtedly dealing with their inner truth. But then again, I don't want to comment on something that escapes me completely: the gaze of others. I realize that everything is complicated for actresses who are so solicited that they end up participating, willingly or unwillingly, in a kind of general cacophony.

Are you one of those ogresses that Léa Fehner describes in her film?

I've just eaten about twenty-five croissants, isn't that a clue? In Léa's film, there is an energy close to the one in Les Combattants: action as a solution to an era in crisis. Here, it's laughter and gluttony facing a personal anxiety and an era that values suffering. I think we need to wake people up, to make them understand that fatality is a terrible and disarming discourse. We are told that the planet is warming up, that people are being massacred, that entire populations are on the move. I am not saying that we are not powerless against this, but feeling concerned and responsible is already a first step towards action.

Are actors monsters?

I don't know and I don't care. I'm not here to tell people: I'm like this, I'm like that, I'm better than you. I don't have to deal with that. Why me? I don't know.

Yes, why you and not someone else? Actor, it's an elective profession...

What is an actor? Their hypersensitivity should not be overestimated. The key is courage. That's the most difficult thing, courage and sincerity: not hiding, committing yourself with what you have, with your face and your body, with everything, with no escape. We often say: "To be an actor is to be someone else" but above all, you have to accept being yourself. It's not the most well-balanced job on earth, but a healthy actor would be weird, wouldn't it?

Precisely, you are sometimes compared to... Depardieu.

There are worse critics. What I like about him is his poetic sensitivity, which is not fake at all. You can sense his love of texts. And then, come on, what an incredible freedom of acting!

Can you play everything?

I don't know. What I do know is that the feeling of comfort is dangerous. It would turn us into a small factory. As soon as I start a film, I don't sleep anymore. The first scenes are hell.

Is shooting naked a problem?

It annoys me. In all films, there's this double injunction from society or the audience: we actresses are asked to get naked but to feel guilty about it! But no guys, I'm not going to feel guilty so you can be fully satisfied that I hold this assigned place of the whore and the well-bred girl! The commitment I make when I make a movie is much bigger than that.

Your feminist side...

I don't have a feminist side, I'm a feminist simply because I want to exist.

Today, not all women are feminists…

So feminism is a girl thing, then? And the fight against racism is a black thing? It's not a power struggle or lobbying, it's not Pepsi against Coke. No, it's a fundamental question about humanity.

#adèle haenel #adele haenel #madame figaro #2016 #it's been a while since my last interview translation !#i've always loved that interview #don't think it was translated before but who knows aha #here you go anyway !#sometimes i translate things #les ogres

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elenamegan14 · 4 years ago

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Twisted Wonderland: Headcanons for Dorm Haunted Houses Pt.7 - Pomefiore

MASTERLIST

Part 6

Warning! A slight spoiler from Twisted Wonderland Ch. 5.

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THE ATTRACTION:

This dorm, out of all others, is the most AESTHETIC haunted house anyone had ever seen.

And of course, they go for the vampire theme, because... DUH.

It’s a masquerade vampire museum theme.

They all wore elegant haute couture costumes based on Parisian evening wear and masks made out of gold-encrusted embroidery and diamond crystals. EXPENSIVE AF.

They were also the only dorm to have pre-show photo sessions with the staff and Vil before their haunted house event starts. Days before they opened their haunted house attraction, Vil marketed his team with an exclusive fan autograph and photo signing event to boost the popularity of their dorm’s haunted house. They have tickets for each type of signings, and the Deluxe Golden Ticket allows guests to take a signed picture with Vil and Rook.

Beside the standard merchandise, Pomefiore created a special photobook centered on the main “vampires” of the dorm. Vil had to interfere when Pomefiore students got into a huge fight over who gets the most highlight in the photobook - the dorm leader already got dibs on the centrefold.

Yes, it does sell like hotcakes.

Vil made ten girls faint when he does a little fanservice for them. Like, licking his bloodied lips - exposing his fangs, or blowing a kiss at them during the pre-event signing.

EPEL JUST CRINGED.

This is the reason why Epel refused to participate as an actor. He’d rather risk his life than to, as he put it:

“I’m not whoring myself out and I refused to be dolled up like a prostitute.” Epel, PLEASE.

He had to fight Vil for it, but after one compromise from Rook, Vil relents. He already got a vampire costume for Epel.

Finding Pomefiore’s haunted house is not that hard (aside from the screaming and giggling fangirls). They just have to follow the search lights from the distance, when they came across a Greco-Roman museum having their premiere night out.

Plastered on the front of the haunted house is Vil posing elegantly with his fangs out, drinking a drink that resembled blood. For fanservice reasons, Rook had rested his head onto Vil’s lap, the chisel that he showed is stained with clay and blood. The group immediately guessed correctly what their theme is.

“Vampires, huh?” MC slowly raised a wooden stake and a hammer that they had prepared earlier just for this haunted house.

Ace won’t lose. He brought out garlic. Jack immediately leaped ten feet away from him - dogs can’t eat garlic too, Ace.

“GUYS, They’re not real.” Deuce slapped his forehead.

“Who said that one of them MIGHT not be real?!” Grim fashioned a cross made of sticks, something that his brain cell had thought for the first time in forever.

Epel just… grabbed a handful of herbs: parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme, “Meemaw said these little things can protect us from evil spirits!”

“Epel, this is a haunted house, not a cooking show. Get your act together.”

In the first act, guests went inside an elegant greco-roman museum where several handsome vampires greeted the guests - it’s the opening night for Rook’s sculpture exhibition. They came across a main gallery of elegant gold, red, purple, black and marbled interior aesthetic. On the side, guests could see that while some food is lavishly decorated, the wines are pungent with dripping red blood…

Sometimes they could see scare actors acting like vampires - either they bite guests sensually fun fact: this dorm had received numerous mail of willing female volunteers as scare actors willing to be bitten by or given a chance to bite these pretty boys or they can also witnessed screaming victims being mauled by a group of vampires behind the curtains. It’s not pretty.

When guests entered the art section, the paintings changed from something beautiful to grotesque. Just like the changing paintings in Disney’s Haunted Mansion. Grimm is seriously creeped out when a painting of a beautiful woman turned into a monstrous medusa.

Sometimes ‘vampire’ and ‘painting monster’ actors would jump out from the painting itself, so be careful with paintings that stayed still!

That goes the same with statues too. Scared the living daylights out of MC’s group.

The last stage of the haunted dorm are the halls of mirrors that lead them to a giant ballroom where Vil sat on the throne made of gold. Preserved corpses of his “pretty” victims were left hanging up on the ceilings. A large decayed painting of Vil is looming behind the throne, constantly changing from young Vil to a decayed corpse.

Don’t be fooled by the mirrors. If you approach one of the mirrors, a “monster” will come out bursting from it.

Vil’s vampire costume is “OH NO, HE’S HOT!” personified. Elegant cape, flawless make and those luscious lips with fangs that seemed to invite everybody…

As Azul said, screams of awe (translation: squealing) is also counted.

Vil beckoned his visitors to come closer. One girl immediately ripped off a piece of her clothing, exposing her shoulders and shouting “Take me! I’m YOURS!” at Vil.

Oh, Vil does not just stop there. He will pick a “victim” out of these guests or participants, then “bite” them, earning more screams. One of his “victims” fainted from too much excitement and had to be carried out on a stretcher.

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THE MISSION:

According to the lore, this art gallery was once a mausoleum for all of the deceased nobilities. Strangely, the poor gravekeepers that survived their nights there mentioned that their corpses seem to stay ‘fresh’, as if they are alive.

One day, a very beautiful man who is known as the Museum Director (“That would be our dear, Roi de Poison,” Rook explained proudly before someone dragged him away from spoiling further) had decided to renovate the mausoleum into an art gallery. Many artists and high-class society considered this place as the number one spot for gaining infamy, parties and connections. However, strange things kept happening - people kept disappearing, statues and paintings that seemed to resemble the missing people and some occasionally, young women and pretty men found with their blood drained in the same area as where the art gallery is.

Their mission is to escape from the mansion and if possible, defeat the heck out of Vil and his minions, ESPECIALLY ROOK.

For the first phase of the mission, they have to enter a special room in a gallery made for the participants to steal the charm inside a small chest box - the workshop of the sculptor himself. The key is left hanging on Rook’s neck.

Someone had to distract Rook while others have to steal the key from Rook’s neck without him noticing - OR ELSE HE’LL CHASE YOU.

This is a mission that requires a lot of teamwork and courage. Why? BECAUSE ROOK IS SCARY AF AND WILL HUNT ANYONE DOWN ONE BY ONE.

Also, these guys will be hit by paralyzing magic for around fifteen minutes, becoming the statue victims to be placed on the gallery.

One last survivor of a group of participants is left alone, crying like a baby as Rook prowls amongst the statues. Even Ace notes that’s very cruel, even for Rook.

“We need someone fast enough to escape and pretty enough for Rook to take notice-” Everybody stared at Epel. That day, Epel swore vengeance on Grimm.

It’s a good thing that Epel is carrying all those “vampire extermination” kits from the group. As Rook madly laughs and sings, ALL COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD, Epel’s heart rate just increased 100x.

Meanwhile, MC’s group had a lot of hard time getting the key from Rook’s neck- he’s just too fast, damn it!

Deuce finally decided on the oldest trick in the book: he tripped Rook. Then they dogpiled on him. MC managed to grab the key, ran all the way to the chest to unlock it, just as soon as Rook managed to escape from their grasp and ran after MC.

“Okay! Now might be the good time for you to take that charm and get out of here… quickly, QUICKLY!” Grimm, your panic attack does not help MC one bit.

MC finally got the charm, hallelujah. They ran out of the room immediately, Rook almost got Ace’s hair. His laugh still rings all across the wall. Epel finally got his vengeance by putting Grimm in a headlock for turning him into bait before MC finally broke them off.

Once they escaped from the gallery, they entered a lab. This is where the REAL mission began.

Now the guide told us that Vil had been sucking up youth from beautiful men and women in his castle. So they were told to prepare a ‘poison’. A ‘poison’ for Vil. A ‘poison’ specifically made to weaken Vil. Vil’s ‘poison’.

Rumor has it that he has a personal painting where the painting of himself ages, and the only way to defeat him is to throw that said potion to that painting.

To get the charm, they have to “recreate” the Queen’s famous “Peddler’s Disguise” potion by adding each ingredient into the cups that are already prepared. Then they have to present it to Vil. Each student must come in one by one just so the others won’t be spoiled.

Getting the ingredients is easier than it’s done. In order to “prepare” it, they must unscrew the taps of each ingredient inside a liquid container.

“I wonder what this one does-” MC unscrews tap - a loud, high-pitched scream blasted right on their face, leaving behind only a shocked MC with their hair standing up. “...well, now, that took ten years of my life.”

Ah, the host also forgot to mention that unscrewing the taps would trigger different scare effects like sudden gas air blown at you, squirted by black ink, high-pitched screams, and crone’s cackles in a sudden manner, so yeah, fuck you, Pomefiore.

Also, the thunderbolts are real, so you get the tingling sensation on your hands aside from the loud thunderous noise and flash of light. MC felt that at least six students had a heart attack on this part. Deuce mentioned that his life flashes before his eyes.

Plenty of students had scrambled out of this task. At least they got the potion ready. Now they just need to splash it at Vil’s painting.

Well, good luck with that. Most girls (or guys) failed this task. Or at least deliberately failed just to get a “bite” from Vil. I mean, have you seen how alluring he is?

It seems that Vil had also sprayed himself with a perfume that would knock all five senses off anyone. Along with a few aphrodisiac essences.

It’s not just Vil they have to worry about. All of the participants have been shrieking to near death when the monsters came out bursting from the glass and took them inside. Jack apologized to one scare actor after he instinctively punched one. Well- so does Ace and Epel, but what do they care?

When they finally reached the throne, they underestimated how incredibly beautiful Vil is. Like, he’s already pretty in everyday life, but now he’s ten thousand times more sexier than they all ever knew - alright, where do all these words come from? Why are they praising this crusty peacock more than they ever did?

Before they knew it, they were already starting to approach Vil unconsciously. He’s charming them with his sweet, sweet words.

Vil seems to be out for MC. First he gave a kiss on the back of their hand before sweeping off their feet in a mock dance. HIS FANS ARE JEALOUS AF.

But then Deuce noticed that when guests and participants came to Vil like moths to a lightbulb, OH MY GREAT SEVEN, JACK IS CARRYING THE POTION VIAL. VIL IS COAXING HIM. HE’S ABOUT TO DROP THE ENTIRE POTION THAT THEY PAIN-STAKINGLY HAD CREATED-

“Do something!” Epel tried to slap some sense to Jack, shouting at both MC and Grimm.

Ok, think. MC needs an idea. Finally, they got one. You know, MC hates to do it, but it’s the only way to distract Vil.

“NEIGE LEBLANCHE IS THE FAIREST OF ALL!” MC cupped their hands and shouted through it.

Well, that did the trick, because Vil seemed to stop in his tracks (if the gasps from onlookers did not count), and did a 180 degree head turn directly at MC.

“What… DID YOU SAY?” Gone is the suave, flirty vampire king Vil - in his stead is a raging, monstrous man with the fury of a thousand rabid peacocks. Welp, MC’s in trouble now.

But it did buy Epel at least a few seconds to splash the “painting” with the “poison”, therefore clearing the last stage.

Once Vil saw they finally did it, he gave out a rave performance of him being vanquished. He disappeared in the smoke.

They don’t know if they should feel glad or not. His fans however… became murderous.

MC’s group had to run away from a horde of angry Vil fans. It took Rook (and Vil) himself a good five minutes to calm them down. By then, MC’s group had already run away.

Vil’s bites are nothing compared to his vicious piranha-like fans, Deuce noted.

In the aftermath of Pomefiore’s haunted house, Epel swore vengeance upon Vil himself. If poison won’t kill him, then throwing him off the cliff during a thunderstorm sounded good as well.

But their feet turned cold and felt all on their faces drained - they just finished Pomefiore. All of the other dorm houses there are just the preparation for an even bigger threat- there is one dorm whose haunted house reportedly to be so horrifying, that during preparation, there are rumors that the prefect had actually summoned REAL monsters to help the dorm to win.

The dreaded haunted house of IGNIHYDE.

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gottawriteanegoortwo · 4 years ago

Text

WKM - Trying to Set Things Right

Inspired by a dream. What might it be like if a redeemed Actor worked to try and help those he hurt? Wilford has disappeared, and he wants to rescue the eccentric man. You and Dark are there to help. Hopefully.

Word Count: 1,408

You weren't entirely sure how you got roped into this. You had spent years trapped in that accursed mirror before it shattered enough for you to escape and regain a form. Then, you found yourself trapped again, only this time as the sidekick to the Actor's 'adventures'. The stories seemed cyclical, but you couldn’t keep a full recollection of what happened each time beyond a mild case of deja vu. He was enjoying himself, getting to cast himself as that hero he had always dreamed of while making sure you kept your distance from the heartless entity named Dark. Even if you knew Dark would never hurt you - how could you forget the look of horror the first time he properly saw you during one of those adventures? - you had to stay with the Actor to play the ever-faithful sidekick.

Then… Something happened. You weren’t sure what, exactly, but the Actor’s personality changed almost overnight. He began showing a kinder side, one that you had only heard of in passing years ago, when you were a successful lawyer. You never questioned it. Actor - who once scolded you for addressing him by his job description (“Honestly, do you think I would go around calling you ‘District Attorney’? That’s just ridiculous.”) and insist you call him ‘Mark’ - appeared oblivious to the changes. It was only when Dark appeared outside your place of work for the first time that you were told something both vital and utterly vague:

"Mark broke out of character."

Whatever that meant, it ensured that careless adventures came to a screeching halt. Dark began cautiously visiting the home you shared with Mark. Mark, to his credit, welcomed him with open arms, calling him ‘Damien’ and acting like they had not been in a petty feud for what felt like years. Dark was uncomfortable at first, but gradually accepted that this was a better fate than a never-ending game of ‘cat and mouse’. At least you were able to spend time with him without getting in trouble.

In his spare time, Mark undertook research. One of the empty rooms had been taken over, and Mark would spend hours in there when not busy with other work. There were flipcharts, pages spread over a table, notes pinned on the wall. He never let you in, only telling you that it was a matter that he needed to be sure was true before sharing his findings.

Then, one fateful day, you returned back to have Mark hook his arm around your elbow and drag you into the 'office'. Dark was there, taking in the information around him and trying to predict what might be wrong.

"Now that we are all here, I can now officially open the case. Wilford has vanished.”

It was only as Mark began going through his own records of conversations and papers did you realise you couldn’t recall the last time you saw Wilford. Two weeks ago? Maybe three? It wasn’t something that had worried you, since you knew Wilford fell out of time. This time, unfortunately, it was a serious problem. According to Mark, another story created a loop in a small area in the next town. They were the only ones who could break it and get Wilford (and everyone else in the area) out of it.

"I'm still getting my head around all of this," Mark admitted as he rummaged through the papers, "I know I had a hand in creating this mess, but I'm still trying to come to terms with the work that lies before me to help. I suppose I'll never understand William and what he has become." He turned to continue the search on a bookshelf behind him and you swore you could hear Dark hiss "Wilford" under his breath. You only had a moment to throw a concerned look to Dark before Mark let out a sound of triumph.

“Here!” He slammed the reclaimed map on the table, pointing to an area circled in red. “From my own investigations of the town, this area is the main one that is trapped in the ‘bubble’, much like the ones I used to keep our encounters safe. In the same way, anyone who passes through is unaffected, but they will become trapped if they stay too long - I’d say three hours. Since we have familiarity with it, we can stay there longer and not become ‘cast members’, which is why I need your help. Both of you. Once we get on the road -” Mark continued on, explaining the plan in good detail. While you might have once cursed Actor’s habits of overthinking in story weaving, it proved to be a rather useful skill when he was on your side. Mark had completed his own research to find potential flaws and obstacles that might arise, as though he had been inspired by the detective he had once hired. He assigned everyone their respective roles, and Dark swiftly departed to fetch his jacket and his cane without a word. As the door slammed, Mark slumped as he rested both hands on the table. He let out a long, slow sigh before straightening his posture.

“I know he’ll never forgive me, but it doesn’t make this any easier to swallow.” His eyes were on the door as he folded his arms. “We had been friends for so long and I threw it all away… For what? Some attempt of ‘revenge’ that was never going to work? That’s why I’m doing this. Not to be some ‘noble hero’, but to try and set things right. First, Damien and William. Then, Abe and Celine. They’re the ones still caught under the waves of this stormy disaster. Even if it tears me to shreds, I want to help them. All of them. There has to be a way to undo this, or at least ease the consequences. I don’t want them to suffer any more because of the pain I felt.” You could see the guilt weighing him down. These were words that he sincerely meant. For the first time since you escaped the mirror, he wanted to do the right thing for others and not himself. “Can I ask you something? What are Damien and William like these days? Both are strangers to me now. They look different, insist they go by names that don’t belong to them... I barely recognise the men I knew for most of my life.” He paused, the reality sinking in as he spoke his thoughts aloud for the first time. He looked at you, and you thought you could see fear in his eyes. “This isn’t a pipe-dream, is it? I’m not wishing on an ending that can never be... Am I?”

You didn’t answer. You didn’t know how. Either option - ‘this is a waste of time’ or ‘you can do it’ - both seemed false. The future, at last, was out of your hands. Instead, you responded that it was the right thing to do, no matter what the outcome would be. It was a good answer. Mark thanked you with a weak smile as Dark returned. The entity seemed calmer than before as he led the way to the front yard. It was an awkward silence, and you were not sure if the tension in the air could be lifted.

Suddenly, Mark skidded in front, racing toward the garage door as it sputtered to life and moved.

“Whoa whoa, before we go ANYWHERE, I want to remind you both that this is my newest purchase and is a high quality vintage car! I won’t have you two messing or dirtying my baby, are we clear?” You nodded in amusement, while Dark rolled his eyes. Mark pulled the protective tarp off the car and opened the doors, rambling all the while about the age, the model and the ‘great persuasion’ he had to do. Instead of listening, Dark gestured for you to follow with a nod of his head. He crouched down at the back of the car and gently rocked the licence plate with his hand. To your amazement, it swung effortlessly, revealing a plate that aged it to be…. Far younger than a ‘true classic vintage’.

“Typical Mark. So caught up in the elegance of something he neglected to check if it was genuine.” You had to do a double-take. Dark smiled. It wasn’t much, but it was optimistic that things might gradually be okay in time.

As a bonus, I’m also including a screenshot of the dream that I sent to my friend this morning (I’m in GMT timezone). When I remember dreams, I get STORIES and I love it.

(In case it’s too blurry:

I HAD A MUSE DREAM.

For whatever reason, I was stuck travelling with Dark and reformed!Actor Mark. We were trying to set something right and it was the first time that Mark had been involved in all of this without being the Actor. At one point he sighed and was like "I suppose I'll never really understand William and what he has become" and I could see Dark roll his eyes as he corrected him and said "Wilford". A little later, Dark was checking something and briefly left myself and Mark standing aside. He had his arms folded as he thought and said something like "I hate to admit it, but I need your advice. What are William and Damien like these days? Is there a way to, you know, undo this?". But I couldn't answer, for I didn't know.

Then, just before my work alarm went off that I set by mistake last night Mark was showing us his vintage car that he wanted to use for this journey and how it was so precious to him. While he rattled on about it, myself and Dark examined the outside of it and discovered the licence plates were fake and that the real ones underneath had the car as a much newer replica. Dark smiled and muttered something like "typical Mark".)

#writersofmark #actor Mark #Darkiplier #reader is district attorney #who killed markiplier #Self Insert #Shattered Heart (Mark Doom)#Cracked Mirror (Dark)#(read-more is for tidiness! :D )#(I legit had no idea what to title this. The doc is called 'WKM 2: Electric Boogaloo')

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multiverseofimagines · 4 years ago

Note

Hello! I would like to request Charlie Barber with ❝ I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. ❞ Thank you for taking requests! I can’t wait!

Yes!! Of course dear 🥺 I hope you enjoy. I suggest listening to “How to tell a Girl I want to Kiss Her” By Modern Baseball while reading this, for it gave me tons of inspiration.

warning// use of the pronoun “actress/actor”

“ Can you please just talk to me y/n” He pleads with you, frustrated with himself, with the situation he’s put himself in.

You were supposed to be nothing more than an actress(/actor), the dramatic void, implementing that of his genius ideas upon the stage, nothing more than that, is what he once promised himself. And yet here he was, so infatuated you, even now, as he sees you running across the dance floor, failing to fall for his charm, trying to find an escape out of the ballroom, a retreat from the routine you had so regretfully constructed with him. You were nothing more than a car accident to his life, a tragic, tearful mess, that he had failed to look away from, so fascinated.

He freezes for a moment, not sure of what to do, if he should run after you and make a scene in front of all of his co-workers, his friends, his soon to be ex-wife. It only takes a second more of contemplating before his leather shoes are making a break for the exit, in which leads to the outside.

He leaves behind the party, the glistening ballgowns of a classy and extravagant end of year ball they had set up,in favour of the play making it’s way to Broadway. The minute he leaves it all behind, he comes to a realization, that of the future he sees upon him, one with you in it. He abandons a past filled with the exhausting regimen of hiding one’s affection, behind the mask of a mans absolute numbness, and yet total bliss within lustful desires.

The brisk Manhattan air hits him as he runs towards it, stopping upon the middle of the sidewalk, attempting to look for you in the darkness of the night, only having the obscure colorful lights of the bustling city upon him. It then hits him where you must be, a place in which the two of you had been many times, hiding your love within walks among central park.

Charlie finds his way past 72nd st station, pushing on goers out of his way, crossing the street to Central Park. He remembers holding your hand for the first time here, slipping his fingers between yours within an act of faith, only for a few moments, before you see someone you know, automatically finding distance from each other, when all you both had wanted to do was be completely within the full presence of one another.

“y/n!! y/n!!” He yells your name into the night, looking among the park benches and trees that hang over them. He continues this, running to nowhere in particular, following the path.

Until he sees what he is looking for,

You, standing within the middle of The Strawberry Fields memorial, the circle with ‘Imagine’ written among it. Staring at the circle beneath your feet, only turning slightly towards him as he huffs out your name from his air stolen lips, attempting to catch what little of breathe he has left from running to you, afraid he may die if he looks at you too closely, fearing your beauty may take every ounce of air he has left.

“y/n.” You surely can’t believe he would follow you, or care for that matter, for he was him, cold and selfish, and you, his paramour.

He is too beautiful for you not to stare, though disheveld, his hair dripping in sweat, his suit slightly wrinkled, and his tie half falling off. Far from his fake day to day image of a perfect genius of a man.

He steps towards your frame cautiously, not wanting to frighten you again, forcing your instincts within the energy of your feet to carry yourself away from the impending doom of love that has been created within the atoms of the universe that surround the both of you.

“ Please don’t leave again.” He mumbles, just loud enough for your ears to hear.

“Why not?” You ponder, still annoyed from the events that had taken place early that evening, still confused and hurt upon his shallowness. He takes a gulp of the nervous saliva he has filling within the back of his throat, he doesn’t ever remember telling Nicole in such a way, in fact she was the one who had said it first, he had just always felt obligated to say it back.

“Because I love you.” He shakes his head, it sounds silly aloud, but it’s the most truthful he had been in ages, “ I love you.” He says it again with a smirk and a slight chuckle, the words feeling more right than ever as they fall off his tongue and into your ears. Your eyes begin to well with tears, confusion, anger, and yet hope all coming out of your tear ducts, making their way among your cheek as you tell him to “shut up- just shut up Charlie, you know that’s not true- it just can’t be,” You shake your head at him, unable to believe that a man like him could ever love anyone but himself.

“ I get why you don’t believe what I’m trying to tell you, but you have to.” He pleads, “ You need to know that you’re all I can think about, day and night, since the very moment I met you. I didn’t give you bullshit notes every night on your perfect performances because I fucking hated you- it’s because I wanted to see you. And I didn’t kiss you that night outside the synagogue because I wanted to fuck you, I started to feel things for you, feelings that were indescribable until now. “ You sat within silent tears, listening to his proclaim with an open mind and heart.

“I know you are scared of it, and I am too, but I know that I love every little thing about you. I love how you turn off lights when you leave a room. I love that you always forget a jacket on the coldest of days, I love it when you ask me to hold you when you feel like your world is falling apart. and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night, not because I’m lonely or want to fuck you, but because I’m fucking in love with you.”

You walk closer to him, feeling his warmth radiate upon you, his breathe finding its way into the air, disguising itself as a cloud of fog. “ Kiss me.” You request, he hesitates, almost confused, awaiting your profession, causing your eyes to roll, “ Just Kiss me you bastard.” He cups his hand upon your cheek, leaning in with you, pressing his soft lips among yours.

When you pull away, a soft “I love you too.” Falls from your mouth, letting him know that you had always felt the same.

#charlie barber #charlie barber imagine #charlie barber x reader #charlie barber imagines #adam driver #adam driver imagine #adam driver x reader #adam driver headcanons

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trashyswitch · 4 years ago

Text

Roman's Spa Day

Roman has been overworking Thomas lately. So, the main sides decide to give Roman a spa day to relax him. But, THIS spa day has a secret twist mixed in...

I'm on time again! And I'm mostly caught up on my college courses! *Snoopy dances* Look at me go!

Here's Tickletober Day 16: Massage

Roman has been overworking himself ever since Thomas voiced the Throat-Lobster in Phineas & Ferb: Candace Against The Universe. Roman had been making Thomas work his butt off for the audition and the voice recording, and was so proud when Thomas took his improv advice! Even though meeting the voice of Dr. Doofenshmirtz was an amazing experience, Roman had been overwhelming Thomas as of late.

Finally, enough was enough. Patton, Logan and Virgil were all very annoyed, yet very worried about him. So, the sides had a quick meeting to determine how to help the poor creative side simmer down and take a break. By the time the meeting was over, all 3 sides knew exactly what to do: they were going to set up a spa day for him. Only this time, there was going to be a little twist added to it...

Patton offered to be the blind-folder and the usher for Roman. So, that meant he needed to guide the blind Roman along to every single room that was needed for the spa day. Roman was sitting at a desk, writing down something in a bright red journal. At first glance, it didn’t even look like Roman at all! It looked like Logan, if he chose to wear red that day! Patton walked into the room, and frowned upon seeing the state Roman was in. His posture was off, he had bags under his eyes, his hair was a filthy mess, and his desk was covered with props and scripts. Patton sighed and pulled out the blindfold he was gonna use. Nervous he was gonna make Roman angry for doing this, Patton gave himself a Hunger Games good luck salute before taking on the actor.

Patton wrapped the blindfold around his head super quickly and tied it into a knot. “WHAT THE- HEY! INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER- HAHA! HEHEHEHEY!” Roman shouted. Patton had quickly started tickling him to get him kneeling on the ground and double-checked his blindfold knot. “WHOHohoho...Who’s there? Who DARE FIGHT THE GREAT ROMAN?!” Roman shouted, reaching for his sword. But...his sword wasn’t in its usual spot! Not only that, but the entire belt was missing! “Hey! My sword! Give me back my be-”

Patton quickly covered up his mouth with his hand, and curved it so Roman couldn’t bite his hand. “Shhhh...Calm down Ro.” Patton ordered. “It’s just me: Patton.” he told him.

“How do I know it’s you, and not Janus faking it?” Roman asked.

Patton smirked. “Would Janus know that THIS tickle spot exists?” Patton asked as he lightly tickled his chin.

Roman snorted and squealed in surprise, before kitty fighting the fingers in front of him. “Ohokay. Good point.” Roman mentioned, before reaching out for his hand. Patton brought his hand to Roman’s so he could grab it, and lifted him up. “You ready for the time of your life?” Patton asked.

Roman’s giddy smile dropped slightly. “For what? Why did you blindfold me? What’s going on?” Roman asked. Patton only led him through Roman’s door frame and out to the hallway. “And where are you taking me?” Roman asked.

Patton smiled. “To the living room!” Patton replied.

“That’s it?” Roman asked as he pulled the blindfold off. “Why did you blindfold me just fo-” Patton took the blindfold from Roman’s hand and tied it back on. “It’s a surprise.” Patton replied as he tightened the knot on the back.

“Oooh.” Roman reacted. “Is there a pinata?” Roman asked eagerly.

Patton giggled. “Nope.” he replied.

“Oh. A sword fight?” Roman asked.

Patton smiled. “You’ll see…” he replied.

“Oooooh!” Roman reacted, clapping his hands as he was pushed into a tent entrance by Patton. Roman threw his arms up in front of him, and seemed to relax when Patton gave him his arm to hold onto again.

“Here you go.” Patton offered, pulling a chair out and gently sitting the man down. “There.” Patton muttered as he removed Roman’s blindfold.

“Well...I will admit that I never imagined Patton to go for the blindfolding method.” Logan told Roman.

Roman took one look at Logan and bursted out laughing. Logan was dressed as a cross between a wizard and a fortune teller. “Hello Roman. I am going to be your fortune teller.” Logan said calmly, despite being laughed at by his customer. “And despite what you may believe, I have had plenty of practice on multiple other folks. So as long as you stay still, I will be able to read your palm.” Logan explained.

Roman finally managed to stop laughing and calm himself down. “May I have your right hand please?” Logan ordered politely. Roman nodded and gave him his right palm. Logan read the palm carefully and started to focus on the 3 lines on the hand palm. “Hmm...Artistic and adventurous.” Logan told him. Logan smiled as he read the second palm line. “A sensitive soul with an appreciation for literature and fantasy.” Logan explained.

Roman chuckled. “Well, of course you said that. You’ve known me for years.” Roman mentioned, not really believing in the art of palm reading.

Logan continued to read his plan despite the judgements from Roman and read the third line. “Wow! A positive person!” Logan told him. Roman smiled and placed his left hand on his chest.

“Awww! Thank you!” Roman replied.

Logan smiled and looked closer as he slowly drew the line of fate out with his pencil. “A successful life up ahead.” Logan told him.

Roman snorted. “I wish…” Roman reacted.

Logan frowned slightly as he read the palm. He wasn’t believing much of what he was saying. So, he decided to start purposefully poking and drawing out the palm lines to create feeling. “Patient, hard-working and practical, I see…” Logan added, focusing on the Mount of Saturn. “You’re also energetic, creative, and passionate! A good set of traits.” Logan added, drawing circles around the Apollo mount on his hand. Roman started to cover his mouth a little as the need to giggle and smile awkwardly, started to take over. The movements Logan was doing, were starting to tickle him and make him all giggly.

Logan noticed this, and continued his actions. “And...Wow! You have the water hand! Oval palms,” Logan started drawing his finger on the outside of his palm. “And long flexible fingers!” Logan drew down his fingers with his index finger one by one. Roman finally let out an uncontrollable, small giggle.

Logan smirked. “And of course:” Logan lightly grabbed his wrist with his non-dominant hand and started skittering his index and middle finger on the palm of Roman’s hand. “Sensitive palms!” Logan teased as he tickled his palms.

Roman giggled at the teases and rested his forehead on his arm as he giggled and snorted. Sensitive? More like a giggle spot. “Ohohokahay. Thahahank yohohou Lohohogan.” Roman attempted to tug his hand back. But of course, Logan had Roman’s ticklish palm right in his own and was taking advantage of the cute ticklish spot. “Lohohogahahahan! Lehehet gohohohohoho!” Roman begged through his giggles and snorts. Logan smiled, fluttered his fingers one more time and let go of his wrist. Roman brought his palm against his chest and scratched it to get the ticklish sensations to leave him. “Ehevil. Evil fortune man!” Roman accused, sticking his tongue out.

Logan smirked and stuck his tongue out right back at him.

“Enjoy your appointment.” Logan said with a smile.

“Appointment?!” Roman reacted, before his eyes were blindfolded again. “HEy! What’s up with all the blindfolding?!” Roman asked.

Patton giggled. “It’s to keep you on your ‘toes’, silly!” Patton said with a wink towards Logan. Logan gagged, but sent him the thumbs up back. “Don’t you trust me?” Patton asked.

Roman guffawed. “With how you blindfolded me earlier, not really.” Roman replied. Patton did the puppy eyes at Roman and stuck his bottom lip out in mock sadness. “Awww…Patty is sad now, UwU.” Patton whined in a high-pitched furry voice. Roman giggled and felt around for Patton’s side, before squeezing his side in revenge. Patton squeaked and pushed his shoulder, causing Roman to laugh out loud.

With that, Patton and Roman were off to the next room! Patton led Roman down a few hallways, and into a bedroom ready all ready for him! “We’re here!” Patton greeted as he entered. Patton sat Roman down, turned his chair around a little and removed the blindfold. Roman took a moment to look around and smiled as he realized this was Virgil’s room! Only this time, there was a table with multiple tools and items on it.

“Hi Roman.” Virgil greeted on the other side of the table. Roman giggled and clapped his hands. “Sweet! I’ve been eager for a manicure!” Roman reacted as he placed his hands on the table, separated and ready.

Virgil started off by examining his nails and clipping them into shape. He clipped them in a curved motion, and carefully filed them into the curvy shaped they were gonna be. Virgil aimed for oval-shaped nails for this part, and took a bit of extra time to make sure they were as identical as he could make them. Next, Virgil grabbed two big bowls from underneath the table and put a bit of gentle shampoo into the bottom of the empty bowls. Next, Virgil grabbed a kettle off the heating item and poured the water into both bowls, allowing the soap to bubble up a bit. With one quick temperature test, Virgil placed the bowls into the correct spots and signalled for Roman to insert his nails and his feet into the bowls.

Roman slowly put his hands in, but quickly put the rest of his hands in the water. With his feet, he put them in almost right away. Roman let out a full sigh of relief upon feeling the warm temperature of the water. “Feeling relaxed, Princey?” Virgil asked.

Roman nodded. “Mm hmm…” Roman replied.

When the water time on the fingers were done, Virgil let Roman remove his hands before gently patting them with a towel. While Virgil did this, Patton moved the table away and started working on Roman’s feet. Roman rested his dried hands onto the armrests that were beside him and let Virgil work on his manicure, while Patton removed one foot at a time, placed the exfoliating cream onto his feet and started rubbing and exfoliating his foot.

While the manicure was amazing and very relaxing, the pedicure was a bit...ticklish... -Okay, a lot ticklish. Roman was biting his lip through the whole exfoliating process due to the crystals in the formula tickling and lightly scratching his entire foot wherever Patton’s palms massaged. It tickled a lot, and made him giggle a little despite his attempts to keep it in.

Patton couldn’t help but giggle at this as well. “Ticklish?” Patton asked. Roman bit his lip harder and nodded his head. “Y-Yeah...a bihit.” Roman replied.

Patton finally placed his exfoliated feet back into the water and washed his feet off. Roman finally took the moment to relax while the exfoliating crystals slid off his ankles and disintegrated into the water. Roman’s foot was soon removed and patted down with a towel. After placing it down, Roman’s other foot was removed, patted down with a towel and placed aside. After that, Patton put some cream onto his hands and started massaging his foot. With the feeling of Patton’s massaging palm, Roman started to relax more and more. Patton brought the cream up his ankles as well, and up the lower calf. As Patton started to gently massage the top of Roman’s foot with his fingers, he smirked as he heard slight giggles form Roman again.

Patton looked up at Roman with a starry glint in his eyes, and snuck a couple tickles under his foot. Roman’s foot twitched and he let out a titter. “Pahahat, cahaharefuhuhul!” Roman ordered.

“Awww! The poor prince is too ticklish for massages! It would be rude if I were to…” Patton started skittering his fingers under his toes.

Roman snorted and threw his head back with newfound laughter. “NAHAHAHA! PAHAHAHAT! CAHAHAHAREFUHUHUHUL!” Roman begged. Virgil smiled and nodded for Patton to keep going. Patton’s smirk grew wider as he flattened Roman’s foot and scratched on Roman’s inner arch. “NohoHOHOHOHO! NAHAHAT THEHEHERE! GAAHAHAHAHAHA!” Roman laughed helplessly.

Patton smiled innocently. “Your laugh is so cute, Ro-Ro!” Patton complimented as he moved to the ball of Roman’s foot.

Roman squeaked as his laughter went up about 3 octaves into high-pitched giggles. “Ihihihihi’m toohohoho tihihihicklihihihish thehehehere!” Roman told him.

“Oh, you think this is bad? I haven’t even started massaging the middle of your foot!” Patton reacted.

Suddenly, Patton pushed his flattened thumbs into the middle of Roman’s inner and outer arch.

Roman wheezed and threw his head back as fits of cackles left his throat. Roman took in a big breath and- “OHOHO GAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! NOHEEL! NOHOHO HEEEEEHEHEHEHEEL!” Roman shrieked and laughed himself silly.

Patton giggled and laughed along with him as he enjoyed the sound of Roman’s contagious laughter. Despite the ticklish feeling and wiggly reactions, Virgil was still capable of painting all 10 of Roman’s nails almost perfectly! As Patton slowed his tickling down and gave Roman some time to breath, Virgil let the right nails dry and started putting pretty silver jewels on Roman’s left hand’s nails as decoration.

Patton’s ticklish endeavor soon returned to actual foot grooming. To finish it all off, Patton put some clear polish onto his nails and put tiny little glitter dots onto Roman’s toes to replicate the design Virgil created on Roman’s fingernails. When those were done, Patton gently started clearing the polish and bowls off the table while Virgil put his own polish, cream and tweezers away. As Roman gained his breath back, he looked at Virgil and Patton’s handiwork:

Virgil had given him oval, bright red nails with silver sticky gems curving the side of his nails! It was so pretty!

And Patton had gotten a bit more natural, and simply did more of a massage then a pedicure. He had put finishing polish on his toenails, and placed sparkly dots on the side of his nails, similarly to his fingernails!

“Wow! I am impressed, you two! Thank you!” Roman reacted happily.

“No problem.” Virgil replied.

“You’re welcome, Ro!” Patton replied happily. “And now, one more thing!” Patton declared. Roman beamed in excitement and got up off the chair.

Surprisingly, Patton didn’t put a blindfold on him this time! He just grabbed Roman’s soft wrist and led him to his own room. Patton’s room had a massage bed in it, with blankets, creams and heating pads. “Okay. I’d like you to take your shirt off, show off those abs of yours!” Patton said, pausing to poke one of Roman’s abs. Roman doubled over and giggled in surprise before he removed his shirt. “Now please lay down, and relax.” Patton told him politely as he started up some piano music from a radio. Roman laid down on the massage bed like he was told and let out a big breath of relief, while Patton got started almost right away:

Patton started off with some simple back rubs to loosen him up and keep him relaxed. Patton started rubbing his back muscles somewhat quickly, but softly. He moved up the back, down the back, and out to the sides. He did practically every hand movement possible, right onto Roman’s back. But whether it was actually a back technique or an improvised session from Patton, Roman couldn’t tell you. What he could admit however, was just how nice it felt.

...And then Patton started tapping his fingers lightly on his upper back.

“Hehe...Hehehehehe! Pahahat, thahahat tihihicklehes!” Roman reacted.

He should’ve known this was gonna happen! Considering how often tickling showed up in the entire experience, he should’ve been able to predict Patton’s movements from calming to ticklish. But, here he was: giggling under the fingers of Patton again.

“I call these...the sprinkle fingers. Doesn’t it feel like hundreds and hundreds of sprinkles are falling on your back?” Patton asked as he continued the 4-finger tapping.

Roman’s giggles got more and more frequent the lower Patton went. “Ihihihit feheheels like- TihihickLISH RAHAhahaindrohohohops!” Roman replied.

“Oooooh...that’s a good idea.” Patton replied.

Then, Patton started swaying his hands back and forth across his back. “This movement reminds me of fluffy icing being lathered and smoothed onto the top of a cake.” Patton told him softly as he continued the back and forth hand movements. He was moving both his hands around like a pair of icing spatulas. It felt amazing, and a lot more relaxing than the ‘sprinkle fingers’.

Patton smiled and continued the technique, before moving onto something new: Patton started walking his index and middle finger backwards from the top right side of the back, to the bottom. “I call this...the tiny moonwalk.” Patton told him.

Roman snickered at both the ticklish feeling from his fingers, and at the name of the silly technique. It tickled a lot, and made him shiver and giggle. “Nohohoho mohohoonwahalks plehehehease. Tohoho tihihicklihihish.” Roman ordered. Patton slightly frowned in disappointment, but dropped the negative attitude as he came up with a new technique:

Patton started rubbing and smoothening the top of Roman’s back with his fingers alone. He lifted his fingers off the skin, moved his hands down, lowered his fingers and started massaging again. He repeated this rubbing process all the way down his back, and even continued it up his back. Roman seemed to enjoy the feeling at first. But the piano silence quickly filled with giggles and laughter as the technique reached Roman’s lower back. Roman’s back was the most ticklish part on his body, that not even massouses can continue massaging him without causing some ticklish laughter.

Patton smiled at this adorable fact. “Say...How would you feel about a mini massager?” Patton asked.

Despite being tired, Roman’s eyes widened in horror as his imagination overwhelmed him with how ticklish that would be!

Suddenly, a vibrating sound could be heard, which only worsened his imaginative thoughts! “This mini massager is shaped like a turtle!” Patton reacted before placing the mini massager’s legs onto the small of Roman’s back.

Roman let out a surprised squeal! “aaAAAAHAHAHAHA! PAHAHAHAT NOOOOHOHOHOHO!” Roman begged.

Patton let out an almost evil giggle as he moved the massager around. “Patton YES!” he replied as he moved the massager up and down his lower back.

Roman wiggled around and laughed hysterically at the super ticklish massages! Oh gosh! It was so ticklish! He couldn’t believe just how ticklish a simple battery-charged mini massager could be! It was nuts! Roman laughed and snorted into his arms in ticklish excitement. This was both torturous, yet unbelievably fun! If there’s one thing Patton nailed, it was the inability to get bored during the massage! Who in the world could get bored when your back was being tickled to pieces by a turtle designed mini massager?!

Patton continued this ticklish technique for a good 10 more minutes before turning the massager off and rubbing away the ghost tickles. Patton softly resumed the icing-spreading technique he used earlier, to calm Roman down and let him breath.

The rest of the massage was a mix of feather light tickling, careful rubbing, and even massaging of the back ribs. Roman’s reactions often went from relaxed, to laughing, back to relaxed. There was no in between for Roman! It either tickled, or it felt good! That was the spectrum.

After the entire spa day, Roman could proudly say he feels a lot more at ease and relaxed. He could even say he feels an extra hint of giddy and giggly! Thomas could not believe the difference the sides were capable of creating on Roman. A spa day was exactly what Roman needed to relax and reward himself for the creativity he’s come up with.

#ticklefic #massage #ler!logan #ler!patton #lee!roman #roman needs a break

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365days365movies · 4 years ago

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March 14, 2021: The Holy Mountain (1973) (Part One)

Happy Pi Day! What’s on the menu?

...Oh dear Christ. Looks like it’s a cloud pie, because this one’s gonna be OVER my head. And yes, I realize that it’s Pi Day after the irrational number, not the food. Which is ALSO fitting because I’m sure we’ve got a fuckton of irrationality coming my way, and I am...not ready? Yeah, yeah, I’m not ready.

But OK. Who actually made this movie? Alejandro Jodorowsky? Oh.

OH. This...I should’ve put this in goddamn Experimental June, huh? Well, shit. I ean, it fits in with the patter of films I’ve been watching recently. You know, Greek mythology, Japanese folklore, then a surrealist film released by a notable director? And Jodorowsky is notable...in film circles, anyway. He’s not exactly a household name, but he is very well-known regardless.

Alejandro Jodorowsky is a Chilean-French man best known for his Mexican films. So, yeah, already interesting there. His Wikipedia article describes him as such, right off the BAT.

Since 1948, Jodorowsky has worked as a novelist, screenwriter, a poet, a playwright, an essayist, a film and theater director and producer, an actor, a film editor, a comics writer, a musician and composer, a philosopher, a puppeteer, a mime, a lay psychologist, a draughtsman, a painter, a sculptor, and a spiritual guru.

Dude had a movie made ABOUT HIM TRYING TO MAKE A MOVIE. That would be Jodorowsky’s Dune, a documentary film about Jodorowsky’s attempt to make an adaptation of the book Dune, well before the actual first film came out. And people LOVED that film. The film about a filmmaker making a film...I am frightened.

And I’m not going to spoil it for you, but in looking for the GIFs of this movie...guys, I am FUCKED. I’m a boring-ass man, in that I’ve never so much as smoked a cigarette, and I have the feeling that I’m gonna feel high watching this movie. I am NOT ready. But OK, with that, let’s just get into it, huh? Let’s get this trip over with. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

Two women are staring at me. And so is a dude dressed all in black with a crazy hat, as chanting goes on in the background in a white room with black crosses on the walls, and we’re JUST JUMPING RIGHT THE FUCK IN, HUH?

The title comes up, dude just rips their clothes off, and YES THERE IS A GIF OF IT ON TUMBLR ALREADY, and I’m probably gonna flagged for that, BUT WHATEVER

He shaves their heads, they enter a warm embrace of sorts, AND THEN WE MOVE ON TO A POINTED EYEBALL SURROUNDED BY PEACOCK FEATHERS I AM COMPLETELY LOST

Well, actually, as the credits play, backed by a sound which I can only assume is the creaking of the opening gates of hell, there are a number of objects and artifacts, with peacock feathers seeming to be a common theme. And then...a man with the tarot card The Fool next to him pisses himself in the desert as flies cover his face, a cougar standing over him and roars, a bullfrog looks at some tarot cards, and a legless and handless man with the Five of Swords card strapped to his back comes to wake him up with the aid of several naked children, who tie him to a fake cross and throw stones at him.

ALL OF THIS HAPPENS IN ONE MINUTE, AND I DIDN’T EVEN MENTION THE FLOWER GROWING STABBED INTO HIS PALM

Somehow...I underestimated this movie. I DIDN’T THINK IT’D BE THIS CRAZY THIS QUICKLY. Well, after...THAT, the two men share a cigarette and hug as the Swords guy licks his forehead, and they walk into the city. There, we see some grizzly ass shit. There’s a truck carrying the bodies of killed native people, a firing squad shoots some kids who...bleed black, and a fuck-ton of sheep who’ve been skinned and fake-crucified are marched down the street as a bunch of rich people watch on. Also, another firing squad shoots at some kids, and birds fly out of them.

I think the people watching are tourists, and this...might be fake? One of the fake soldiers takes one of the tourists aside, and just...starts fuckin’ ‘er. In front of her husband, as people take pictures of the whole thing. I...I am more confused than I have EVER been.

By the way, I don’t know ANY names for this yet, so I’ll add them...whenever I figure it out. Our pair apparently entertain these tourists, and make money doing so. They work with a circus called “The Great Toad and Chameleon Circus”, who perform a pantomime of the conquest of Mexico, using...costumed toads and horned lizard. And it’s...I mean, it’s definitely bad for those animals, but it’s also kind of adorable?

The horned lizards represent the Aztec, while the toads represent the Spanish. And, uh...yeah, it’s literally exactly what I said. The Spanish toads go after the Aztec horned toads, and overwhelm the fake Tenochtitlan with their sheer numbers. What’s weird about that? WHAT IS SO WEIRD ABOUT THAT TO YOU?

There’s also a lot of...what I’m assuming to be fake blood, but with this movie, I worry. The whole dead sheep thing has me concerned AND THEN THEY BLOW UP THE SET AND KILL THEM ALL WHAT THE FUCK MAN? How did this film escape animal cruelty shit?

And then...look, you’re gonna have to get used to weird-ass shit happening here, OK? And for the record, I’m desperately trying to weave some symbolism out of things here. Like, this is clearly a criticism of tourism and wealthy cultures taking advantage of the disadvantages. It also seems to be anti-religious, although...I’m not sure if I can articulate that one yet. Still, this part of the film seems to be about the disadvantaged native people being used as essentially objects by the rich foreigners. I mean, they just used the Spanish Conquest of Mexico, for God’s sakes. It’s a new form of conquest, but modernized.

Right? OK, OK, maybe I can do this after all. What’s next?

A bunch of overweight dudes dressed up as Roman soldiers, alongside a guy dressed as a nun, are selling crosses and Catholic materials to the tourists, while the Fool and Swords pretend to be Jesus Christ for them. This eventually leads to them goading the Fool into a drunken stupor, then making a plaster mold of him before leaving him on a pile of potatoes. Eventually, he wakes up and screams, surrounded by hundreds of casts of him painted as Jesus Christ, as the Roman soldiers and the nun dude sleep.

Angered at his own commercialization, Fool whips the nun and soldiers, and destroys all of the Jesus statues. Meanwhile, a group of women - of different races and ages - and a chimpanzee stare at a gilded statue of Jesus in a church.

Sure. Why not? WHY NOT?

Also, they’re prostitutes, and one of them is, like, a child. Fuck. Said child is approached by an elderly man, who giver her his fake eye, than proceeds to kiss her hand...A LOT. OK, I know there’s something to be gleaned from that. Said prostitutes meet the Fool, who’s carrying the Jesus cast. Most of the laugh at him, except for the one carrying the chimpanzee, which I’m assuming is a Mary Magdalene reference.

She follows him, and the other prostitutes follow her, but they all stop when they come across a group of civilians dancing with soldiers. The Fool walks through this crows alone, and ends up in a dilapidated church, where he finds an owl and a priest, who’s sleeping with another Jesus statue. Angry that the Fool’s brought in his own statue, he kicks him out. The Fool then eats the face of his statue, then takes it back to the children from earlier, ties a bunch of balloons to it, and lets it fly above the city, the kids, and the prostitutes.

I, uh...I don’t know. I DO NOT KNOW.

From there, the Fool goes into town, there a red tower stands in the square. Maui’s hook descends from the top, and the Fool climbs onto it. The hook takes him up, as “Mary Magdalene” watches on. And it goes up VERY HIGH, by the way. GODDAMN. He gets into a hole at the top of the tower, where he finds a white shroud, which he bursts through, only to find...

I’m so tired. I am SO TIRED, you guys. Our guy heads down the rainbow toward the camel, the naked woman, and the man surrounded by two goats, who I think is the guy from the beginning. He’s wearing the same hat, anyway.

He slowly and measuredly moves off his throne, as the music in the background intensifies, and as the camel is fidgeting, seemingly ALSO trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. The man gets into a brief fight with the Fool, but stops him by touching his chakras. With the help of the woman, he slices open a tumor on the back of the Fool’s neck, and extracts an octopus from it. Yeah. YEAH. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MOVIE

The man offers him gold, in the FIRST UNDERSTANDABLE SPOKEN WORDS IN THE MOVIE I AM NOT KIDDING

They take the man to a pool, complete with baby hippo (what, do you not have your hippo in your personal pool, like a goddamn loser?), and the man gets cleaned, VERY thoroughly. Yeah, we see it.

In another room, with a pelican in it this time, the man has the Fool defecate in a jar, and also puts him in a container, where he sweats a lot. The guy collects his sweat in a hear-shaped jar, and continues his chemical reaction with the dude’s feces. It’s at this point where I think it’s appropriate to give the name of the man in the tower: The Alchemist (Alejandro Jodorowsky). Yeah. It’s the director. Take THAT, Hitchcock.

After literally turning his shit into gold, the Alchemist says that the Fool can do the same to himself, as he is shit. Yeah, he says that. And then, the two meet in a room of mirrors, where the Alchemist is now wearing a black outfit, and the Fool is wearing a matching brown one. They break a stone, in which we are told that each stone has a soul.

And then...tarot.

Yeah, that seems to be a theme, huh? According to the Alchemist, Tarot will teach the Fool to create a soul. I get the feeling that it’s meant to be within himself, but...I don’t know. Also, the tarot cars that we see are definitely supposed to represent previous scenes in the film, some of which we’ve already seen. However...they’re still pretty goddamn weird.

He gives him a few items, then brings in an ox and a turkey vulture. Goddamn, dude owns a zoo, huh? He uses the two to speak on the cyclical nature of life and death, and how organisms depend upon each other. This leads to yet another room, with a peacock in it this time, where he notes that the fish never seeks the fisherman, meaning that the master seeks a disciple.

In this final room, there are statues of people who are like him, and who will be needed for the coming journey, whatever that may be. They are industrialists and politicians, and each represents a planet...and maybe something else. They are, in order:

Fon (Juan Ferrara): Our Venus, and a bedding and clothing business magnate. He has many wives, who begin as workers in his factory, then are promoted to his “secretaries. He also has a fuckton of children as a result. His father began the factory, and is deaf, dumb, and blind. He makes all decisions by consulting his wife’s corpse’s vagina. Yup. Dear Lord. The company’s also made masks that have the texture, warmth, and smell of living human beings, allowing anybody to change their face to something more desirable. They also beautify corpses, and animates them after death. Fuck.

Isla (Adriana Page): Our Mars, Isla is first seen in a coffin-like bed, sleeping with the two bald women from earlier. After putting on her Prince suit, she wakes up her captive population of male secretaries, and her flock of black swans, and goes to her day job: manufacture and sale of weapons. We’re talking nuclear, biological, and fictional. They experiment with drugs that have various effects, and demonstrates them on many people, and make such unique things as psychadelic guns and grenades, and themed weapons for the religious crowds.

Klen (Burt Kleiner): Klen’s our Jupiter, and his house is huge, his wife is cold and unloving, and his chaffeur feeds him coke in the back of his black limo. He has a mistress that he fucks in the back of the limo, on the way to his art factory, where they produce a “new line” of art every season, using girls’ asses, and various other parts of bodies. He LITERALLY objectifies people. He also created a “love machine”, which is literally a robot box with a robot vagina that you fuck with a giant blue artificial penis. It is a...weird but interesting scene.

Sel (Valerie Jodorowsky): Sel’s a clown, who represents Saturn, and performs for children. Which makes sense, seeing that she’s a clown. She has a toy factory as well, where she sheds her harlequinesque vestments for a far harsher, stricter persona. Her toy factory is for war toys, and all of the staff and workers are elderly. Using a computer, they use their resources specifically to corrupt the minds of children to feed their political agendas, conditioning them to hate whichever enemy the government will face in the future, literally sowing prejudice and racism into their minds in preparation for a future war. Eerie.

Berg (Nicky Nichols): Uranus next! And Uranus is...EXTREMELY weird. Like, you know how you shouldn’t kink-shame people? That does not apply to Berg, both because he probably SHOULD be kink-shamed, and also because I don’t think it’s possible for him to feel shame? This entire section begins...real weird. Berg and his wife (Lupita Peruyero) are a very eclectic and unusual couple, but they aren’t as bad as the rest...I think? I mean, she’s literally knitting a sweater for their giant pet snake, and it’s kind of adorable. And then...we discover that Berg is a financial adviser to the president of a very wealthy country. He recommends that, in order to save the economy of the country, they kill 4 million people. THe president then activates the country’s gas chambers, gas schools, gas universities, gas libraries, gas museums, gas dance halls, and gas whore houses. Not a joke, that is actually what he says. And that’s...kind of hilarious? That segment ends with a picnic, and Berg says he hates his wife while surrounded by many very beefy bois. OK. My favorite so far, and that’s not even an exaggeration.

Axon (Richard Rutowsky): Besides having a HELL of a name, Axon’s the Neptune of this Solar System. He’s a chief of police. Which involves...a naked man chained to a table as many people chant and play drums. And then, Axon comes in with a GIGANT GUN, while bedecked in clothes made and worn by the forbidden love child of Mad Max and Roman soldiers. The ceremony is actually a castration, and it’s Axon’s 1000th castration. Axon commands many eunuchs, all of whom are trained to believe in him. It’s very...cultish. And that’s made worse when a group of protestors are attacked by Axon’s police force. They execute them, with the murder represented by interesting symbolism. Like, instead of blood and guts, it’s fruit and birds, and...also the thing above, which is funny only out of context. It’s also eerie.

Finally, Lut (Luis Lomeli): Lut is an architect, and our Pluto. In his house, there is a bevy of children dressed up as mice, who are playing hide-and-seek with him. Lut built a multi-family complex, but begrudges that they lost money in doing so. And so, to save money, he decides on a new concept for homes: basically just a box that people sleep in. Nothing else. He presents this at a party, where he unveils the house, which is essentially a coffin. He uses a sex show and women to sell it to the overindulgent rich. There’s also a well-sculpted ice penis involved, which must have been an interesting job to get for the guy who made that. Anyway, yeah, he’s trying to turn homes into coffins.

Jesus. That’s a good place to stop now, I think. See you in Part Two, goddamn.

#the holy mountain #alejandro jodorowsky #Horacio Salinas #Ramona Saunders #Juan Ferrara #fantasy march #user365 #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365 movies a year #mygifs #my gifs #usermichi

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septicbro1005 · 4 years ago

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I am an Addict, But I Get Paid to Indulge in my Habit

A/N: Sad Kirishima thing with implied Kiribaku. I just heard a song, got hit with the biggest wave of inspiration, so I’ll work on it between breaks in homework assignments. Ready for some good ol’ sad shit? Great. Based off of “Art is Dead” by Bo Burnham. There will be cursing, self-deprecation, depressed / anxious thoughts, suicidal thoughts, mentions of self-harm, etc. If this shit is not your cup of tea, go onto whatever the hell else you’d like. Cool? Cool.

Eijirou Kirishima hasn’t really been the most confident person in the world. Hell, probably not even the most confident person in Class 3-A. No matter the facade he put on, his inferiority complex has always bit him in the ass at the worst times.

Does he ever show other people how he feels when that happens?

Of course not!

He’s Eijirou Kirishima! The Unbreakable Red Riot! Nothing will ever make him break! He’s the toughest, manliest man out there!

Yet, behind closed doors, there are those days.

When the voice in his head screams. When a loud noise makes his heart race for the next thirty minutes. When his fingernails dig into his shoulders as he takes deep breaths. When the second he does something wrong or that he feels is wrong, he clams up and is flooded with guilt. When he doesn’t speak unless spoken to, and only replies with the fewest amount of words possible. When the fake smiles and the fake affirmations come to the surface.

Then the memories come in.

They flood in faster than he can stop them, and he’s stuck thinking about those things until he finds something else to do.

So that’s why he asked Jirou, in their first year, about music. Happily, Jirou taught him to play the keyboard, which he grasped quite quickly. In fact, by their third year, he was writing his own songs.

Of course, his lack of confidence never allowed him to put them out to the world for people to see.

But, he anonymously goes to a cafe near campus and plays his music there. Every weekend he can.

He’s somehow become a hero in training by day, and a comic musician by night.

This results in little to no down time, what with all of his classes, studying, creating new music, and anything else along those lines.

And there’s one song he’d been working on since he began writing his own music. He’s put his heart and soul into it. He’s practiced it, he’s practically perfected it.

Since he started his gigs at the cafe, he’s been debating on whether or not to throw it into his set list. And every time, before he can even make a joke to introduce the song, he pauses.

He can’t.

He can’t move. He can’t breathe. He can’t think properly. There’s only a few thoughts that swirl in his head, until one voice in his head yells at him to move on.

And so he does.

There was one night, however, that he had an exceptionally shitty day. He almost entirely flunked a quiz, he passed out during training because he didn’t eat lunch, and Bakugou was nowhere to be seen.

Eijirou has no idea how or why Katsuki Bakugou affects him so much. Yet, whenever something happens to the ash blond or the ash blond isn’t there, he’s filled with anxiety and even a bit of jealousy.

Which makes Eijirou hate the way he felt that day.

So when he came into the cafe that night, his beanie shoved low onto his head and colored contacts on, it was much harder to fake his entertainer’s smile.

He started with a couple of jokes and dumber songs, with only some meaning behind it.

And as he finished the third song, he heard the door open up to the cafe.

He’s grown used to people walking in part way into his shows, it doesn’t offend him. Not like it really should. He’s not doing it for money. He just wants to release his feelings in the form of music and comedy.

~~~

Katsuki Bakugou was a frequent customer at a cafe close to campus. He had been since he was a second year. He’s always loved going on the weekends, when the entertainer is there.

He never heard a name from the man, and it seems no one else has either. He asked the manager, but she said she was sworn to secrecy by him.

So, he hears the wild applause coming from the cafe, and felt a small grin bloom on his face that grew once he entered.

The man sat in front of his piano, drinking from one of the coffee cups from the cafe. The cafe bought a piano for the man a few weeks after Katsuki began to frequent the place.

Customers erupted with clapping and laughter as the man turned from the piano.

“Okay. Next, I’ve got a poem for you guys. It’s called ‘I Fuck Sluts’,”

A woman in the crowd screamed.

“Not a roll call, but thank you,”

~~~

The night was almost over, one song being the last thing in Eijirou’s set list.

He’s kept it to himself for far too long, He was gonna burst if he didn’t say something.

“This next song honestly isn’t funny at all, but it helps me sleep at night,” he managed to push out, rubbing his sweaty palms against his pants.

The anxiety in his voice would be obvious to any of his friends. None of them were there, though, so he doesn’t have to worry.

Katuski watched the performer closely, watching his nails dig into his knee for a moment before bringing them up to the piano keys.

His fingers moved quickly and gracefully across the keys, causing a swift yet elegant melody to float through the air.

Katuski watches as the performer looks out into the audience, taking a clear breath in before turning back to the piano.

“Art is dead. Art is dead. Art is dead. Art is dead,”

Eijirou’s voice carried through to the ears of the crowd, one or two weak cheers coming from the audience.

Katsuki appreciated the performer’s voice, being so soft and soothing, no matter how dark the lyrics were.

“Entertainers like to seem complicated, but we're not complicated. I can explain it pretty easily,”

The performer looked like he was glaring holes into somebody, brows furrowed and shoulders stiffer than usual.

Eijirou was tense.

There was no going back. No stopping now.

“Have you ever been to a birthday party for children? And one of the children won't stop screaming,”

They way that line was sang sent shivers through Katsuki. Hatred was evident in his voice, but the question was who it was pointed to. This hypothetical child was clearly a stand-in for somebody.

“'Cause he's just a little attention attractor. When he grows up to be a comic or actor, he'll be rewarded for never maturing. For never understanding or learning that every day can't be about him. There's other people, you selfish asshole,”

Katsuki frowned as the crowd laughed a bit.

Eijirou’s heart beat erratically in his chest, having to take deeper breaths to continue singing properly.

The hypothetical child was one he hated.

“I must be psychotic. I must be demented to think that I'm worthy of all this attention,”

The hypothetical child with shoulder length dark hair, red eyes, sharp teeth and a worthless Quirk.

“Of all of this money, you worked really hard for. I slept in late while you worked at the drug store,”

The hypothetical child who was greedy and ungrateful.

“My drug's attention, I am an addict. But I get paid to indulge in my habit,”

This hypothetical child who grew up, dyeing his hair firetruck red and putting on a mask of confidence.

“It's all an illusion, I'm wearing make-up, I'm wearing make-up Make-up, make-up, make-up, make...”

Katsuki noticed the performer’s voice sounding far more choked up, and he felt his own grip tighten on his coffee cup.

“Art is dead. So people think you're funny, how do you get those peoples money?”

Eijirou’s hands shook as he played, praying to every god that he wouldn’t miss a key and mess up.

Because then the audience might see this isn’t a joke.

“Said art is dead. We're rolling in dough, while Carlin rolls in his grave, his grave, his grave,”

Katsuki went to the coffee counter to go get a refill on coffee, not wanting to take his eyes off the beanie clad performer.

“The show has got a budget. The show has got a budget. And all the poor people way more deserving, of the money won't budge it,”

Eijirou’s had a complicated relationship with money in his life. He started his life with a good amount of money, which then dropped substantially when his Quirk activated.

It wasn’t because of that, but he’d always thought it was his fault for developing a Quirk.

But as he got older, his financial state got much better. He could afford luxuries. He could afford dyeing his hair consistently. He could afford to go to Yuuei.

But then he felt guilty when his parents paid for his braces. He felt guilty when his parents paid for him to go to Yuuei. He felt guilty when his parents paid for a therapist after his mom thought he developed depression. He feels guilty when his parents pay for his medication.

He wants to pay them back, he just doesn’t know how.

“‘Cause I wanted my name in lights. When I could have feed a family of four for forty fucking fortnights. Forty fucking fortnights,”

Eijirou realizes he’s allowed to feel bad for himself. He knows that.

But it’s hard to feel like shit when you know there are small children who can only eat a meal or so a day, because their family lives in poverty.

There are people dying from cancer out there.

There are people who run a razor across their wrists almost daily because they no longer want to be alive.

There are kids who look at the knife block in their kitchen and think about which knife would kill them the fastest.

Because he used to be that kid.

He used to pull the big knives out of the knife block when his parents weren’t home and would think about how quick and easy it would be to make his family’s life so much easier.

Just a few stabs, and they don’t have to deal with me.

“I am an artist, please god forgive me. I am an artist, please don't revere me. I am an artist, please don't respect me. I am an artist, you're free to correct me,”

Katsuki had gotten his new cup of coffee and practically squeezed the coffee out of the cup when he looked at the performer.

His hands were shaking, his cheeks were flushed, and tears streaked down them.

“A self-centered artist. Self-obsesed artist. I am an artist. I am an artist,”

Eijirou hated the warm tears trickling down his face as he sang. He despised it. All he wanted was to finally put this song out, and just be free of it’s almost deathly grasp.

“But I'm just a kid. I'm just a kid I'm just a kid. Kid. And maybe I'll grow out of it,”

Forcefully, Eijirou pressed on the keys with their finishing notes, drinking from his water.

Hardened fingers dug into his leg as he told everyone to have a good night, packed up, and left.

As he exited the warm cafe, he shivered under the fluttering snow. Releasing a sigh, it quickly fogged up.

“Okay, back to--”

“Oi,”

Katsuki watched as the performer whirled around.

“You alright?”

Eijirou sat there, unable to speak.

Katsuki Bakugou went to his show.

Katsuki Bakugou saw him sing his most vulnerable song.

Katsuki Bakugou watched the unbreakable break.

“Fine. You need something, sir?”

“I need to know you’re okay, Shitty Hair,”

Hearing the nickname confirmed Eijirou’s fears, and he shook.

“Ha. So you did recognize me, huh?” Eijirou laughed weakly.

Katsuki felt his brows furrow in a way they don’t normally.

“Wanna talk back at the dorms?” Katsuki offered before taking a sip of coffee. “I’m willing to listen to you,”

Eijirou felt the lump in his throat swell and his eyes spring with tears.

“Yeah... sure,”

A/N: I actually like how this came out! It’s sorta shitty, but not incredibly so! I’ll put this on my Wattpad and my AO3 later, so if you vibe on there, then vibe on there. Peace out! Stay safe and healthy! - Septic / Spark

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