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bettyfrommars · 2 months

Note

Video store Eddie? 👀

Mel I'm going to break the rules of this weekend WIP game and just post the whole thing instead of a snippet. It's a very short part 1, and I'm not sure if I'll continue it, but I do love the vibe. I have so many finished WIPs I'm holding onto for whatever reason. @the-unforgivenn was also wondering about this one.

Eddie x older!Reader

This takes place in late 1987 - early 1988, Eddie is...however old he would be, and afab Reader is in their mid 30's. She/they pronouns. Would Steve and Robin still be working at Family Video at that time? Probably not, but I love the idea of visiting them there, infinity. Smut in other parts, if I ever write them.

Word Count: 1.3k

No major warnings but my blog is 18+Only

“Excuse me, do you work here?”

Eddie was squatting down looking through the horror section of Family Video with his butt crack peeking out from the waist of his belted denim when he first heard your voice.

“Sorry,” he sighed as he stood, wallet chain and a set of keys jangling at his hip. Once he saw you, his breath caught, and his brain shifted gears. “What I meant to say is sorry, it’s my day off but yeah, I work here. How can I help you?

He ran a flat hand down his chest a few times, eyes darting around to see if Steve or Robin were anywhere near enough to hear it and call him out.

You weren’t ready for the guy to be so cute when he turned around, or for his eyes to be such a deep velvet brown. If you had to guess, you'd say he was in his early 20's. Had you ever been that young? If you didn’t have the 1975 Led Zeppelin tour ticket stubs at home as proof, you might’ve believed you’d skipped those years entirely.

That was the second time you’d spotted him at the video store, and you’d frozen in place, mind flustered to think of some excuse to talk to him.

“I was hoping for an opinion, if you have a second?”

Eddie shuffled around so that, when one of the other two actual employees noticed them, they wouldn’t see who he was talking to right away.

“That’s what I’m here for,” his tongue flicked out to wet his lips before a grin. “I mean, I do other things around here too, but opinions are sort of my thing.”

You had two tapes in your hand, both new releases, and you held them out to face him. One was Dirty Dancing, and the other was Evil Dead 2.

“Gun to your head, which one would you choose?”

“Gun to my head? Damn,” he chuckled, rubbing the palm of one hand with his other thumb. “Well, we’re talking about two vastly different films here. What’s the occasion?”

Shit, you were sexy. You were beautiful, sure, but it wasn't just that. You made him curious; he wanted to open up the top of your head and see what was inside. You smelled good too, like those spicy essential oil blends they sold at that mystical shop downtown. The place with all of the incense and gemstones and shit.

Obviously he’s choosing Evil Dead 2, but he wants to give you the most helpful, educated answer possible. Patrick had moves, he’d give him that.

“If it’s like, a girls night thing, definitely go for Swayze,” he pointed at the vhs. “But if it’s a date or something, nothing says romance like Ash Willimas with a chainsaw.”

Please say it wasn’t for a date.

“It’s not for a date,” you muttered, looking down at your choices. You held up Evil Dead 2. “This is the one I want to watch,” you switched and held up the other. “And this is the one I feel like I should watch because it’s all anyone is talking about.”

Eddie put his hands on his hips authoritatively. “Well, I think you have your answer. Have you watched The Lost Boys yet? Prince of Darkness is a bit of a sleeper. Not sure if that’s your speed but—”

Robin came back to the floor wiping tzatziki sauce from the corners of her mouth. She saw you talking with Eddie, but knew it was in her job description to give you a proper greeting regardless.

“Hello, welcome to Family Video. Can I help you find anything today?”

Your gaze flicked from her to him and back again, framed by an awkward silence.

“It’s okay Robs, I’ve got it,” Eddie gave her a thumbs up, hoping she didn’t decide to blow his cover right then and there.

Robin raised a single brow, watching him suspiciously as she scooted behind the counter.

“What if you got both? Rent three, get one free,” Eddie reasoned with a shrug. “It’s Friday, live a little.”

“You’re right,” you cupped both tapes in one hand. “I watched Lost Boys in the theater when it came out, but maybe I’ll check out Prince of Darkness, if you think it’s good.”

“Hey, me too,” he popped up on the balls of his feet. “Saw Lost Boys in the theater, I mean. It was badass.” He might not have gone on opening day, but for the double date Steve had begged him to go along with. It was a disaster.

Steve’s head shot up from the far corner of the store where he’d been stocking shelves. “Are you back on the floor?” He asked Robin. “I need to run to Melvalds.”

She gave Eddie a pointed look when she said, “yeah, we’re fine. You can go.”

Eddie’s fourth movie recommendation was Legend. “Darkness, my man,” he clapped the cassette to his chest when you said you’d take it, and then led you up to the checkout counter as if he really knew what he was doing. There were grease smudges on his jeans, and the Bark at the Moon shirt he had on was ripped wide in the arm holes, enough to show his ribs and the lines of a tattoo under there.

You wondered about all of his tattoos, even wished he’d take off his shirt and explain them all to you, but perhaps you were getting ahead of yourself. It was his job to be so attentive with you, he probably wasn't flirting.

Robin eyed him steadily before giving you her best customer service smile. “Did you find everything okay?”

“He was a big help,” you put the tapes down on the counter. “I’m sorry, what is your name?”

“Eddie,” he stuck a hand out, the one with all of the metal rings on it. He had calluses on the tips of his fingers and pads of his palm. “Eddie Munson, at your service.”

“If you work on Sunday when I return them, I’ll let you know how they were.”

“I–I—” he stuttered, sweating under Robin’s stare. “I don’t work on Sunday, but I should be around, so, yeah.”

“He’s here pretty much every day,” Robin said with a snide edge to her voice as she put the videos in a plastic bag. It’s true, Eddie had been hanging around an awful lot after work at his actual job slinging wrenches at the garage. Ever since he’d saved up for a VCR, there were a lot of movies he wanted to catch up on.

That and he loved being a pest.

After you were out the door, he watched you walk to your car through the window. You got behind the wheel of a station wagon, and he wondered if maybe you had a family and shit? Kids? You didn’t seem to care about the films you’d chosen being family friendly, but maybe they were away for the weekend? A divorce? Maybe they were at their dads place.

He was thinking way too much about your living situation and relationship status.

“Okay, mind telling me what that was all about?” Robin put her chin on her fist.

“She asked me if I worked here and I got nervous and said I did,” he admitted, watching you go until the car was out of sight. “I wanted to keep talking to her, so I lied. Now I feel stupid as fuck.”

“You’ll probably never see her again, anyway,” she shrugged.

“Don’t say that,” he frowned.

“If she asks about you on Sunday and you’re not here, I’ll just tell her you got fired.”

“You won’t have to, I’ll be here.”

Robin gave a snort. “You don’t even know what time she’ll come by. We’re open till—”

“I said I’ll be here,” he stared out into the parking lot space where your car had been, patting the counter with each word. “Yep, yep, yep, this is where I shall be.”

Robin rolled her eyes so hard they went white.

#Eddie Munson #Eddie Munson x older!reader #Eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #older reader #Family Video #Robin Buckley #stranger things fic #Stranger Things fanfic #Eddie Munson fic #Eddie Munson x you

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danieyells · 4 months

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hai again :3 idk if youve already done him but can you do tohmas voicelines? he is sooo interesting i, once again, want to study him

Tohma is one of the I think two characters I haven't been asked to do yet!! I think he wouldn't appreciate you studying him either, anon, but I think he'd be willing to let you studying him becuase he didn't think you could actually succeed. . .but if you did, he'd have other uses for you lol

ANYWAY VOICELINES his are. Pretty expected in their nature lol he's like ritsu in that you will never see this man sweat.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"Well, hello there—I've been expecting you. May I ask for your assistance with something?"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Seems you have some mail. There could be some helpful information in there."

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"What do you mean? I lend a sympathetic ear to those in need—that's all."

"Honestly. This academy has far more than its fair share of loose cannons, wouldn't you agree?"

"I'm no more than a servant. Frostheim is ruled by a king, you see."

"I hope you'll join us for a party some time."

"No need to be nervous. I've nothing but the noblest of intentions."

normal people don't need to say things like this. you see why i feel like it's too obvious that he's shady! he comes out the gate with this shit!

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"An orderly life and a well-managed schedule are the key to keeping one's self fit and healthy."

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"How delightful... It seems our king's peaceful slumber has yet to be disturbed."

look at how annoyed he looks lmao He'd love to slam Jin's door open and yell WAKE THE FUCK UP BITCH

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Is that everything? I'm afraid there are several matters I must attend to."

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Please excuse me. There's a small matter I must attend to. No, it's nothing serious. Of course I'm being honest—whatever do you mean?"

yeah your affinity is too low for me to think you're honest. LET US IN.

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Look at you, you're trembling. You must have had quite a frightening encounter. You poor thing."

considering what time this can happen maybe some anomaly was lurking in the darkness and scared you?

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Providing this level of assistance goes without saying. Only once you can do so without instruction can you call yourself qualified."

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"So this is where you've been idling your time away. Our captain is waiting for you."

stop trying to hide you are a servant and your king demands your services.

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Honestly. If he'd just take action, everything would be resolved instantaneously."

(In case there's any doubt, "he" is specifically referring to Jin--in Japanese he says "Dorm Leader". I wonder if this relates to the spy situation or the Institute. . .or something else entirely--)

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"This conversation never happened. Understand?"

Either he needs someone to believe he wasn't here or he told you something ~Secret~

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"An appropriate amount of sleep is essential to maintaining your physical and mental health, you know."

he's very worried about your health. . .as has been pointed out, perhaps because his own isn't stable. . . .

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"Honestly. The second years have been making quite the racket this morning."

KAITO AND LUCA ARE HAVING FUN LET THEM HAVE FUN

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I tend to eat lightly at lunch time. Would you like some? Don't worry—I assure you, it's not poisoned."

WHO SAYS THAT IF IT ISN'T POISONED. IT'S YOUR FOOD WE KNOW YOU WEREN'T POISONING YOURSELF. . .PROBABLY. . .COULD BE MICRODOSING POISON TO YOURSELF FOR IMMUNITY REASONS.

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Seems you've become involved in a difficult situation. How do I know? I just happened to overhear, that's all."

WHICH DIFFICULT SITUATION. THERE ARE SEVERAL. IT FEELS LIKE THERE ARE MORE EVERY DAY.

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"It appears we're in for another full day."

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Good morning. Would you like to start the day with a cup of tea?"

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"How about a game of chess to aid with digestion? I'm a patient teacher. I can show you how to win—against opponents other than myself, of course."

how would that help with. . .don't you usually have to exercise for. . .well I'm glad he's a patient teacher even if he won't teach you to beat him lol good strategy, make you a powerful ally.

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Good health is the greatest treasure. You shouldn't push yourself too hard. Good night—I'll finish up here."

He wants you to take care of yourself. . .so he'll do the hard work when it's time for you to rest. He wouldn't want something bad to happen to you because you were unwell.

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I always achieve my goals—using any means necessary. That goes without saying, don't you think?"

why restrict your means if you truly wish to fulfill your goal? Others use you for their means, so why not do the same yourself? If your ends are truly good perhaps the means aught not to matter so much.

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Please don't overexert yourself. There are many people here who need you."

that may sound like a reason to overexert yourself, but if you overdo it you won't be able to help anybody. You have to help yourself if you want to help anybody else. There's no shame in that.

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Take care not to overdo it today. You may insist you're fine—perhaps you even believe it—but I can tell at a glance that you're fatigued."

he's worried about you. Maybe it doesn't sound that way, but he wants to make sure you're well. He can tell you're wearing down before you can. He has an eye for others, that's all. Also maybe it's just me but he mentions health and wellness so much I can't help but wonder if he's had some sort of health problem in the past, or maybe Jin or someone else he knows and cares for. Also, hilarious that speaks to highly of caring for one's health when he smokes.

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Inexperience is not a crime. The important thing is choosing not to remain ignorant when you don't know something."

knowledge is in fact power

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Errant and Fuji lack polish, but they've got potential. They're sincere, and that's what counts."

he really looks at them and says "those're my boys. my loud annoying sons."

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Welcome to high society. That outfit suits you well. With that poise, you'll have no trouble fitting in here."

he dressed you up and brought you to a party because he likes and trusts you and wants to be seen with you. . .get used to the high life, he'd like to keep you in it as long as possible.

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Forgetting about everything I've got to do and be, just for a night every once in a while... It's not a bad feeling."

no titles, no images, no fronts, and no lies. no manipulation. no doing somebody else's job--no doing any job. Just. . .time for himself. And, presumably, someone he loves very much. I think he's earned that kind of break. Does this sound like you're about to fuck to anybody else--

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"In times of difficulty, I hope you'll turn to those around you for help. I will be there to keep you safe."

Don't be like him and take so much upon yourself. . .rely on others. Ask for help! Find your people. Support each other. Don't try and go at it alone. It's okay to be united with your community. He is one of your people too, of course. Rely on him and he will keep you from harm. He's quite sweet, isn't he?

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"That was quite the yawn. No need to apologize. Who wouldn't want to take a nap in this pleasant spring weather?"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"I once heard a poem that went, "In spring, one sleeps a sleep that knows no dawn." I'm sorry to inform you dawn must come eventually, Captain."

translation: 'WAKE THE FUCK UP JIN. IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY BITCH.'

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"With every advent of spring comes a wealth of gleaming new foliage and a pleasant breeze. I still find it moving each year."

reminds me of that if you ask Tohma what his hobbies are in his character story chat he says he likes being out in nature and taking walks. . .which also reminds me that Alan likes camping. I bet they used to go camping together all the time.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"The blossoms of spring fall so quickly. Though beautiful, there is something almost brutal in their brevity."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Ha ha. My apologies. Your face is so flushed I couldn't help myself."

'lol you're so sweaty you look like a wet rat'

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Sweltering days like this make me sincerely grateful to be in Frostheim."

i wonder how hot it was in the vagastrom garage in the summer. probably sucked ass in there. and smelt like big sweaty dudes.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Would you care to enjoy the evening cool here with me?"

(between 8pm and 5am)

"If the heat becomes to much for you, please feel free to come visit us in Frostheim any time."

inviting them to frostheim late at night? how scandalous. . . .

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Pleasant days like this make me want to go on a trip somewhere far away."

i mean if anyone could get away with it it's definitely you. darkwick trusts you enough.

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Tea enjoyed while appreciating the colors of the fall leaves has a unique charm."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"The early dusks in the fall can take one by surprise. Be sure to stay alert when walking in the dark."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"There is nothing better than a book to while away the long fall nights. My eyes are rather tired though... Perhaps some exercise will be a good change of pace."

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"I thought Frostheim had gotten me used to cold weather, but I suppose this is what they mean when they say "chilled to the bone.""

my god he's admitting weakness. someone call the papers.

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Even the cold weather doesn't seem to deter the second years from gallivanting about... Rather charming, isn't it? In the way barnyard animals are."

my noisy sons who play in the snow like puppies

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'll take my leave earlier this evening. The nights are getting colder, after all. And there's a small matter I'd like to look into."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Haven't you had your fill of winter scenery after frequenting Frostheim? Ha ha. You truly are a strange one."

His birthday: (May 31st)

"Thank you for putting together such a wonderful celebration for me. Oh? You've even gotten me a gift..."

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday. Perhaps it was a little presumptuous of me, but I've prepared a gift for you... Come now. There's no need to be so formal."

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year, {PC}. I expect you will help bring Frostheim to even greater heights this year."

why? are they being promoted to fuckin captain of frostheim or something now? tf?

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Oh my, is this for me? How kind of you. I very much look forward to finding out what's inside."

White Day: (March 13th)

"I ordered you these sweets from a famous confectionery in Asakusa. Hopefully they suit your tastes."

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"What I wouldn't give to knock that bastard Jin's head off... Oh come now, what's that face? I'm joking, of course."

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Trick or treat. Oh? So you prefer tricks... Interesting."

what do you think he's dressed as? Oh no you didn't have any treats for him. . .be worried about what's coming i guess

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Merry Christmas. We'll be holding a party in Frostheim later. Would you care to join us?"

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Ignoring me, are you? You've certainly got guts."

(13 affinity and above)

"If something is concerning you, perhaps I could lend an ear. There may be something I can do to help."

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"I've no interest in hearing your excuses. I suppose I'll need to be stricter with you going forward—I hope you've come prepared."

much like Jin. . .he believes you'll need to be retrained. Bad servant. Time to be reminded of your place.

IT FEELS LIKE HIS ARE VERY LOW KEY. He's secretive about his interests and so very busy as Jin's servant, it feels like they don't share much about him. . .hopefully we'll get more study opportunities, anon. I wonder if this makes his intentions seem more or less clear/honest for some? It could really go either way lol. WHAT REALLY GETS ME IS THE "just one night to not have to think about who i am and what i have to do is nice" ONE TBH. . .like he really works so hard trying to play every side for the outcome he wants. he works so hard keeping frostheim in order. no real hints to what his goals are, just that he acknowledges that he will do whatever it takes to reach them. Makes you wonder, but we probably won't learn anything for a long while haha

#tohma ishibashi #tokyo debunker spoilers #tokyo debunker #danie yells at tokyo debunker #danie yells with anons #danie yells answers #ONLY ONE MORE CHARACTER TO GO #until they put in ed and lyc anyway

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lovegrowsart · 3 months

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what do u think of people saying that zuko only helped katara find the tsr because of his own selfish reasons? that he doesn’t care about her like that and just wanted her to stop being mean to him.

thank you for the ask, anon!

i think the first thing to establish is that, imo, it isn't necessarily wholly selfish of zuko to want katara to not be mean to him, even if he comes to a deeper understanding of why she's lashing out at him. it's perfectly within zuko's right to desire being treated well by his peers, especially as someone whose only recently left an extremely dangerous and abusive environment. that is NOT me saying katara is being abusive, she isn't at all, and her anger and distrust towards zuko is also perfectly understandable and relatable, and what's beautiful about their development in tsr is how they work through this conflict together. neither of them are being bad people in this episode - they're both good people that have some damage in their relationship, and i think some fans' attempts to make zuko (or katara ig) out to be the "bad guy" in the situation reductive and quite boring.

still, people generally point to how zuko acts/reacts in the beginning of the episode to paint him as "selfish", because he doesn't realise the depth of katara's hurt re: ba sing se until she yells at him about it - which is the moment that zuko switches from being frustrated with katara's behaviour to understanding and regretful, and immediately asks what he can do make it up to her. when katara lists a few impossible tasks for him, essentially implying that there's nothing zuko can do to improve their relationship and/or ease the hurt and anger she's carrying, zuko goes "well, bet, impossible tasks and relentless determination are my MO!" and goes to sokka, expresses that he cares about what katara thinks of him (as in its not only about wanting katara to stop being mean, but wanting to prove himself to katara, that he's changed for the better and can be there for her/help her), and learns about kya - then he stays outside her tent all night, offers to go on a highly dangerous mission with katara to go after yon rha, and stands by katara when aang and sokka preach forgiveness from their ostrich horse. on the mission, he never once dictates or even suggests what katara should do with yon rha once they find him, and completely follows her lead.

the thing is, if zuko's motivations were wholly selfish and only about getting katara to stop being mean to him, i doubt he would've gone to all those lengths to understand the root of katara's pain and anger (which, again, was never solely about him and what happened in ba sing se), and go on a whole ass mission to hunt down a dangerous someone they know has murdered at least one innocent civilian! it puts zuko at odds with aang and sokka after gaining their trust, which i doubt he wants, it takes time away from training aang and preparing him to face ozai, which i really doubt he wants, and he's going on a mission which someone who doesn't seem to like him all that much atm - not exactly a fun time! if it was really just about getting katara to stop being mean to him sometimes, i don't believe he would've done all that - he would've just accepted his lot and tried to work around katara's behaviour, which was frustrating to him, sure, but he's not thin-skinned or incapable of standing up for himself, he grew up with azula for fuck's sake!

lastly, i think it's pretty obvious that zuko's pretty surprised when katara forgives and hugs him at the end of the episode, which says to me that he wasn't thinking about whether she would do that or not, and certainly wasn't expecting it - which he would've been if his motivations were that selfish, if he was only doing it get katara to chill out or whatever and expected some reward for helping her find yon rha.

anyway, yeah - think i expressed my thoughts on this a bit messily, but tl;dr that i just don't think the way zuko was written and presented in the episode aligns with reading him as being selfish, not after the cliff scene, and tbh that reading often comes from people that have a vested interest in bad faith readings of zuko's character and devaluing zutara's canon development and relationship.

#mail's here!#anonymous #zuko #katara #zutara #meta*

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vigilskeep · 14 days

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omg thank you for the support... feeling emboldened to return and be gay in your inbox but i was just thinking about how neve might actually feel a bit put off by a more uncaring/cold assassin rook. she has that conversation with harding in the ign gameplay where she says that authorities being corrupt is how she is employed essentially, but given her character descriptions, i feel like she very much does care a lot and corruption is something she Really Wants To Fix, Actually. but authorities being corrupt is actually great for business for an assassin. i mean lucanis was literally introduced to us as "the magekiller" and one thing we know about him is he specifically targets corrupt magisters. like taking down corrupt officials is definitely great for neve, but i feel very interested in the toxic yuri potential of her butting heads with someone who doesn't care about saving the world beyond putting down an obvious threat because their background relies very much on the world being broken. if this makes sense? femme fatale rook also adds an extra level of distrust which is fun! but there's also so much yuri development potential here... learning to care through neve or rook always secretly caring and neve bringing that out in them. cynic4cynic and all that. this doesn't have to be about a romantic relationship either, it's interesting to me even for a platonic neve/rook relationship!

and this also could be a potential point of contention for neve and lucanis, depending on his own world views. this group being referred to as a found family makes the idea of them not getting along (at first at least) pretty interesting to me LMAO anyway yeah if lucanis shares this kind of view then it really is as you said: (crow rook voice) no lucanis you're not insane. and neither am i.

SORRY FOR THIS. but also thank you for supporting the lesbianism.

YES...

the thing that i certainly believe about neve is what’s been emphasised over and over in marketing: she’s a cynic, but a cynic with a heart of gold. she may be our hard-boiled detective who’s seen the worst of people and the worst of her city, but that’s never made her love her city any less or fight for it any less. she’s intensely idealistic in her ambitions and her commitment to the job, putting her own comfort aside to doggedly pursue any mystery she’s taken on.

i think that conflicts delightfully with an assassin who is more self-preserving in what they are willing to take on and has no such high ideals or sense of community, but has it in common with neve that they’ve come face to face in the same way with the worst of people. they could make each other better—neve could definitely stand to take better care of herself and perhaps even take more direct action, and this type of crow rook could probably do with a moral or two beyond World Destruction Is Bad—or worse! i really like your read on crow rook being dependent on the world being broken, and corruption being good for business. i also think the kind of worldview that the crows teach is that nothing ever really can change. it doesn’t matter what you do or who you kill, because someone just as corrupt will always take their place. there are no moral obligations because there is no fixing the world even if you did try. i’d be so curious to see neve’s impact on that... whether she could get them to believe in something, or their jaded outlook would rub off on her

neve definitely has trust issues and high walls up for whatever reason (i still believe in venatori ex-husband theory) so i love the idea here of really playing into that and making a rook she actually shouldn’t trust. i love that for you. yeah why put this all on her. why make anything easy

i’m definitely interested in lucanis and neve’s dynamic. they have a lot of similar worldviews when it comes to, say, the venatori, but i wonder if neve necessarily approves of lucanis’, uh... impulsive and destructive approach, to dealing with that kind of problem. or if lucanis’ sympathies necessarily mean he takes the shadow dragons’ chances of achieving anything seriously. super excited to see them interact

#neve gallus

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mist-the-wannabe-linguist · 4 months

Text

So, Pern has limited resources for writing materials, illiteracy is common among people and there is strong oral tradition. Aside from songs this also means the Pernese people should have many proverbs. I know there are already some canon ones, but to spice things up a little I tried to translate some Czech proverbs and sayings and adapt them to fit Pern, which turned out to be a pretty fun exercise. If you have ideas for your own, do share! If you'd like to use any of mine in fics and such, feel free!

Here goes:

"don't provoke a (tunnel) snake with your bare foot" - don't tempt fate

"no Master Harper has ever fallen from the sky" - orig. "no scholar has ever fallen from the sky", no one is born an expert; it's okay to make mistakes

"once in a Long Interval" - orig. "once in a Hungarian year", same as "once in a blue moon"

"to make a herdbeast a Masterfarmer" - orig. "to make a billy goat the gardener", to make someone manage a task they're woefully unqualified for

"every rider praises his own dragon"/"every feline praises its own spots" - orig. "every fox praises its own tail", people tend to emphasize the virtues of whatever is dear to them, or whatever they're trying to sell

"to wheedle a clutch out of a green" - orig. "to wheedle a calf out of a heifer", to be very convincing; to charm someone into doing absolutely anything

"Weaver, stick to your yarns" - orig. "shoemaker, stick to your last", you should stick to things you truly understand

"yeah, and then the Harpers sang for him"/"and now tell the one about a talking wherry" - orig. "and they said they sang for him"/"and now the one about Little Red Riding Hood", said when you don't believe anything someone's just told you

"one about a wagon, the other about dragon" - orig. "one about a goat, the other about a cart", when people talk about completely different things while thinking they're on the same note

"after Threadfall, everyone is a Weyrleader" - orig. "after battle, everyone is a general", it's easy to criticize things in hindsight, especially for unqualified people

"a Smith's runnerbeast walks barefoot" - orig. "a blacksmith's horse walks barefoot", those who craft/sell a particular thing often don't have enough of it for themselves

"so the dragon can eat and the herdbeast remains whole" - orig. "so the wolf can eat and the goat remains whole", essentially "to have your cake and eat it too", a solution that deals with the unpleasant aspects while still benefiting you

"wait like a guardfowl for grain" - orig. "wait like a goose for grain", advice to be patient

"having cheek is better than owning a Hold" - orig. "having cheek is better than owning a Meierhof", being daring and impudent often gets you in better places than being rich

"a fire-lizard on your shoulder is better than a bronze/queen on the Sands" - orig. "a sparrow in your hand is better than a pigeon on the roof", it's better to be grateful for smaller things you already have than to hope for things you have no guarantee of getting

"who wants to beat a wher always finds a cane" - orig. "who wants to beat a dog always finds a cane", people who want to do harm always find a way to do so

"fast of wing, short of mind"/"he's like a green - fast of wing..." - orig. "fast of feet, short of mind", an impulsive person who doesn't think things through

"bubbly pies don't bake themselves"/"roasted wherries won't fly in your mouth" - orig. "kolache don't bake themselves"/"roasted pigeons won't fly in your mouth", if you want something, you have to work for it

"for a quarter-mark he'd let them drill through his knee" - when someone is willing to do anything for money, even at the cost of one's own wellbeing

"beauty without a good heart is like a house without door, a spring without water, a rider without a dragon" - physical appearance means nothing when the person is bad

"every Hold has bread with two crusts" - every place has good and bad things

"what has once left your mouth, not even a pair of draft beasts can pull back" - watch what you say because you can't take it back

"fish start to smell from the head" - when something isn't working, the problem is likely in upper management

"doesn't have to be a downpour, a drizzle is enough" - success doesn't have to come all at once

"smart ones need advice, dumb ones need a kick" - for some people a hint isn't enough, they need to be shown explicitly

"the heart won't ache for what the eyes can't see" - some things do less harm if they're kept secret; blissful ignorance is sometimes better

"sing the song of those who give you bread" - kind of like "don't bite the hand that feeds you"; if you take favors from someone, you should act in their favor too

"he who digs a hole for others often falls in himself" - essentially "hoist by his own petard"

"the tunic is closer than the coat" - people tend to focus on their own interests rather than the interests of wider society

"the scythe has hit a rock" - when someone encounters something beyond their competence

"repetition is the mother of wisdom" - essentially "practice makes perfect", but sounds fancier. could be especialy in connection to memorizing teaching songs

"don't fight fire that doesn't burn you" - mind your own business, don't try to fix other people's problems

"the sated don't believe the hungry" - privileged people tend not to believe others' misfortunes

"he's got butter on his head" - essentially "keeping skeletons in his closet"

"rough fabric needs rough patching" - being soft on nasty people will achieve nothing, you have to answer in the person's own language

"the cape goes where the wind blows" - when someone is too obedient, a blind follower. said as "he's kind of a 'the cape goes where the wind blows' kind of person"

"honey in his mouth, venom in his heart" - a charming, sweet-spoken, but malicious person

Edit: more in reblogs!

#dragonriders of pern #pern

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axnewxera · 5 months

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// I've been deep in thought the last few days about Rufus and his character. I just started this blog and I'm still fleshing out my muse in my head.

So. I'mma dump some of my headcanon on the character, and this WILL affect how I RP him and this WILL get long and ranty.

(I'm sorry if the format is wonky, I'm laying in bed on mobile. Also spoilers of pretty much all FF7 media ahoy)

In the original game (and arguably in different levels in other media since then), Rufus is definitely presented as a villain.

His big introduction in the original game has him giving off this big speech to the party about how his father was too soft on the world with propaganda and narrative control and intended to instead rule through fear and intimidation. He stages a public execution of our party members late in the game. He tries to take Cid's plane instead of reviving the space program. He sent Cait Sith to act as a Shinra spy on our party (or at least was aware of this, as the Turks actively follow Cait Sith's intel). He bankrolled Avalanche to essentially backstab his father! He's very manipulative and deceitful and you can never quite trust him!

But honestly..... Nothing he's actually done has me convinced that he was ever actually a bad guy.

Yes, he SAYS how bad he is when you first meet him in the original. He definitely seems to WANT to be the big villain of the series. But Sephiroth's greater threat to the planet aside... Rufus is just not that guy.

Is Shinra, Inc. evil? Oh hell yeah. Heidegger, Scarlet? Yup. Hojo? LOL

But almost IMMEDIATELY after becoming president, Rufus started suppressing Heidegger and (presumably) Scarlet. Heidegger seemed to be THE dude for President Shinra. The two were very much in alignment in their goals and methods. And Rufus lowers him by berating him and never taking him seriously. Not to mention the fact that he basically started an eco-terrorist group to get his heartless evil father gone.

Even though he starts off saying how little the common people mean to him, his goals from very early on are to protect the world from Sephiroth, and to spearhead the effort to find the Promised Land. Even his execution of Barrett and Tifa is an attempt to comfort the people (and, I suspect, to draw Cloud out of hiding) - but he never seems too upset that they escaped the attempt. Or that Cait Sith remains on the party after his usefulness as a spy was over.

He comes off as arrogant and tricky, he sure does some mean things... but his intentions are noble, and his known tendency to play both sides of any conflict - secretly funding Avalanche, secretly funding the World Regenesis Organization, whatever amazing shenanigans are going on in the remakes with Wutai and Viceroy Sarruf - has me doubting that the "evil" stuff like the execution were even intended to actually take place. He's pulling strings to get people where he wants them.

Rufus can't just SAY what he wants. Advent Children is a good example - his intentions are much more openly "good", but no one believes him and there's all this doubt and "What is he really up to?" that swirl around his character. When it counted, he seemed surprisingly honest, yet it just pushed Cloud away.

If he came out as the president of this huge evil corporation and laid out his noble intentions to the world, everyone would doubt him every step of the way and his plans would never get done. Not to mention the very likely possibility that Heidegger and Scarlet and whatever supporters President Shinra still had would stage some sort of coup against him in that event. He still has to be a Shinra. So he does it to play the game, give the world or sometimes our party a villain to unite against, and get things done.

I also think Rufus sees HIMSELF as a villain, even though his intentions are pure. He's a Shinra, after all, and was raised by his father to be this heartless embodiment of pride and corporation. All that lying and manipulating and double-dealing leaves a mark on the psyche. He is fully comfortable presenting himself as the villain because he believes that's who he is, but he disagrees with his father's goals and methods so much that he actively sabotages himself.

I'm not sure if any of this was the writers' actual intent or if it's just all my interpretation, buuuuuut that's the fun of RP right? Getting to dig deeper and assign your own spin on the character.

#Rufus Shinra #out of ammo (ooc)#(headcanons)#Hopefully this is like #actually deep and thought provoking #and not just “yeah duh”#Impostor Syndrome is real folks

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levaagrace · 3 months

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The thing about JMart isn't that I think it's toxic or poorly written or came out of nowhere or any of that. Cause I don't. At all. When I take a break from drinking haterade, I do agree with a good few points people make regarding their relationship in season five. I don't want to, but I can give Martin little a grace. As a treat. When people aren't acting like he's morally in the right for every action he takes.

Because, though I think there is some veracity to not attributing malice in Martin's actions, the actions he does take DO show disregard for Jon's... everything. Because, though I do agree that they both take steps to purposefully not fall into the same habits, Martin adamantly refuses to believe Jon is trying. At all. And why do I think that? Why do I, in my heart of hearts, think there's no way for either of them to get any better when it comes to moving forward in their relationship?

Martin flat out tells Jon that he believes, in a world without the horrors they face, that they wouldn't even be able to stand each other. That Jon's best-case-scenario, the scenario that he's tied up all his hope into, the very idea that they could've been doing normal things as normal humans instead of whatever they became, was so far-fetched as to be something Martin had to bring him down from.

"No, Jon, we're both too unlovable on a fundamental level and wouldn't even find each other worth speaking to in any other world."

That's, essentially, what I hear when I think of that scene in the penultimate episode. Actually, I don't think Martin includes himself as being unable to be loved, cue the "I am Martin Blackwood" scene, but as I said I'm giving him grace in thinking he's not, as usual, putting all their problems on Jon.

This isn't even bringing in the 'trauma-bonding' mention, but that's also a sticking point for me when thinking about whether or not the two of them SHOULD even attempt to salvage a relationship with each other post-series, whether somewhere!else or not.

All the trauma they went through needed to MEAN something, to Martin, so he placed their relationship in that role. So the question begs, when adding in that quote above, what would've kept them together after Martin's 'kill Jonah, pull the lever, save the world, kiss the Archivist' dream scenario? The one he legitimately thought he was going to accomplish mere hours later? Without either of them needing to rely on the other in a world gone mad, without either of them needing each other to be sources of comradery when everyone else in the world can be, then why would Martin even stick around?

Nothing, according to Martin.

Course you could say that both of their insecurities would mean neither of them would see themselves as worthy of being with anyone else but each other. But that's not sustainable a foundation to build anything on. Especially if, god forbid, they go to therapy and develop any form of self-worth not tied to each other or their places in the apocalypse. Eventually something will give and I don't think many of the 'relationship growing pains' they went through will be that easily forgotten. Or forgiven.

Here's the point where I would point out how all the issues they had actually are mostly issues MARTIN caused by not listening to Jon when he said anything about anything at all, but as I said. Grace. So I won't. Just know, though, that the 'hurdles' they went through are uneven, in my eyes, at least, and I won't say no more.

I suppose, when it comes down to it, what I'm trying to say is... telling someone you love them. Means nothing. When you think that loving them. Can only be the result of total and complete psychological, spiritual, emotional, ethical, physical, and mental destruction of the very fabric of your being.

But yeah.

#tma #the magnus archives #jmart #tagging cause i have nothing to lose but my dignity #this is sort of what i mentioned i was gonna write the other day but isn't #i'll write that some other time #i just saw a take that made me want to be vitriolic and shit over this ship cause i hate love

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butterflydm · 1 year

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wot reread: towers of midnight (chap 39-49)

spoilers for towers of midnight

Aviendha! We haven't seen her since she went off without saying goodbye to Rand in TGS. Anyway, she has arrived in the Three-Fold Land and she's pondering ideas about home and softness. She thinks about how she's come to enjoy the baths and fine dresses that Elayne shared with her in the wetlands, despite wanting to believe she only wants the life that she grew up with.

2. As she makes camp for the night, she thinks about how the Aiel (and herself) will need to come back to the Three-Fold Land after the Last Battle, that the wetlands are too soft for them. As she drifts to sleep, there is an older woman there, at her campsite. She says that her name is Nakomi and she asks to share Aviendha's campsite. Nakomi asks if Aviendha is one of those who went west in search of the Car'a'carn and asks about him and about the wetlands. When Aviendha bursts out that the wetlands make them weak, Nakomi is startled. She points out that the Three-Fold Land was meant to punish them, test them, and shape them -- so whatever they are currently facing in the wetlands seems to be what they were being shaped for. So why does Aviendha insist that they must return to the Three-Fold Land after the Last Battle, since the 3FL has accomplished its purpose? They would be punishing themselves for no reason, because they will have met their toh.

3. I do actually enjoy this scene a lot but it really feels like Aviendha questioning all this should have happened earlier in the series, lol. She bound herself into a relationship with three wetlanders (well, Elayne and Rand; she still barely knows Min, because they just spent a month avoiding each other while living in the same place), all the while planning to leave the wetlands after the Last Battle? How exactly was that going to work? Narratively, I feel like this emotional crisis should have happened earlier.

4. Thinking over his grief over Hopper's final death and his failure with Slayer in his head, Perrin forges a hammer and Neald & some of the Wise Ones, working together, turn it into a Power-wrought weapon while Perrin makes it. He also finally embraces the idea of being a leader because 'someone else might do it wrong', essentially, lol. Like using an army to pursue a personal vendetta, you mean? Like allying with invaders and slavers and choosing to sell women into slavery, you mean? Like planning to disband said army after your personal goals have been achieved but before the world has been saved, you mean?

Anyway, Perrin has finally decided that he will lead these people to the Last Battle (like they want) instead of sending them away so... I guess that's nice. Finally caught up to every other one of the main protagonists, lol. It really is so weird how Perrin is the one who gets called the responsible one and he acknowledged his responsibilities back in TSR but then, after that, he ran from his responsibilities so much longer and harder than either Rand or Mat.

He also seems to have finally gotten over his petty jealousy of Wil al'Seen? So that's nice. Poor Wil has been NOTHING but loyal and supportive for as long as he's marched under Perrin's banner, yet Perrin has thought such mean-spirited things about him.

5. Berelain also assumes here that Rand is planning to marry Elayne, though she thinks of it more in tactical political terms than how Perrin was talking about it. So, again, there's a general "yeah Rand and Elayne are probably getting married" vibe going around Perrin's camp so I am going to be Very Doubtful that Tam knows nothing of Elayne when he first meets Min in Tear back in TGS.

6. Perrin finally thinks here that he failed Aram -- not by letting him pick up a sword in the first place, but by scooping him up in his wake and then shoving him away and ignoring him. Took him long enough to realize that it wasn't the sword's fault. He also knows that he can't go back and fix what he screwed up with Aram, but he can try to do better going forward.

...no thoughts from him on how to 'make good' with what he did with selling two hundred women into slavery, though. Maybe he feels like Rand making an alliance with the Seanchan will 'let him off the hook' for that.

7. Once again, the Whitecloaks and Perrin's army are on the brink of attacking each other. But this time it's because Perrin suspects that they're all about to get attacked by Shadowspawn and they do, and they fight together instead of against each other, etc. Battle scene. (where did the Shadowspawn come from? A Waygate, maybe? They can't go through Gateways -- Perrin thinks maybe a Portal Stone). When Byar compares this to what Perrin did in the Two Rivers, Bornhald realizes the contradiction in the logic of what he'd believed about the Two Rivers' battle: if Perrin has the command of this many Shadowspawn already, it's nonsensical for him to kill them off in order to trick the Whitecloaks (with their similar or lesser numbers) into joining him. After the battle is over, Galad names his sentencing of Perrin -- pay 500 crowns to the families of the two Whitecloaks that he killed, and fight in the Last Battle. When Byar realizes that Perrin is 'getting away' with all the crimes he's imagined up for him, he tries to kill Perrin and is killed by Bornhald before he can strike the blow.

8. Being bonded to Egwene is letting Gawyn inside the strong facade that she puts up in front of everyone else, and it's bringing him a lot of comfort to feel how emotional she still can be, under the serene mask. And Egwene and Gawyn have a frank conversation, all the more frank because they can sense the true emotions under each other's words. When Egwene suggests that a bed be brought for him in her antechamber for him to sleep in, he counters with suggesting that they can married. Gawyn also agrees with Egwene, very strongly, that something needs to be done about the Seanchan -- he's seen the assassins they sent after the Aes Sedai, witnessed the attack on the White Tower, and met some of the victims who have been freed from their cruelty. Then, just in case he needs them later, Gawyn takes the three ter'angreal rings that gave the Bloodknives their power.

9. Lan can feel the difference in the distant mind connected to his and wonders if Nynaeve has taken his bond from Myrelle. He always did his best to ignore Myrelle's feelings, but the connection feels different now, with a familiar "passion and kindness". As he passes through a fortress, he is recognized by a grandson of the queen of Kandor, who mentions that Nynaeve had said Lan might try to pass unnoticed. And here, at last, Lan gives up the notion of 'riding alone' and tells him that he will raise the banner, and any who want to join him in the ride to the Blight may come.

10. Galad here notes that it's kinda silly to have Aes Sedai as your allies and then refuse to let them heal you. Yes. Yes, that would be extremely foolish. Galad is another character who feels like a foil to Mat -- they both fell in with groups that are extremely hostile to Aes Sedai, despite having family that would get hurt by those groups (Morgase and Elayne vs Bode). So Galad thinking this here (and allowing himself to be healed) feels like a very direct contrast against something that is coming up in the near future, where Mat is going to decide to be extremely foolish.

But Galad realizes here (or begins to realize) how spending time with a group hostile to Aes Sedai HAS poisoned his mind against them, even though that was not his intention in joining them -- he thinks about how the idea of being healed wouldn't have made him uneasy when he was younger. And that's just what we saw with Mat too -- even if his intention with Tuon is to try to convince her that channeling isn't evil, spending time around her and listening to her spew her poisonous thoughts affects him even when he's trying to avoid it. It's just like the corruption of Mashadar/Shadar Logoth (which was always a metaphor for extreme paranoia and hate). Aridhol - the Children of the Light - the Seanchan... all these groups are working out of the same playbook of stoking paranoia and fear and then using that to gain control of people who are emotionally vulnerable. And it's something that's pretty common IRL too.

But combining Gawyn and Galad's realizations in TGS/ToM does feel kinda like the books have provided a road map of how Mat can emotionally pull himself away from the Seanchan and his toxic relationship with ~Fortuona~ once he wakes up enough to realize that she's not willing to ever grow as a person -- you have to realize that you DO need to make a choice that your morals can live with (can't straddle a fence forever) and realize that spending time around people who are constantly attacking and demeaning your loved ones can potentially screw with your head a lot. Child Byar is the obvious analogue for Tuon in this specific example of Galad vs Mat, and I've talked about Elaida and Tuon's similarities in earlier posts. Byar, Elaida, and Fortuona are all ~true believers~ in their individual terrible philosophies and do have a genuine 'sincerity' and 'conviction' in their zealotry for what they believe in plus share a willingness to turn to violence when they are challenged. I'm not sure if Perrin ever gets a whiff of Fortuona (don't recall), but I wonder if she would smell rabid to him, the way that most of the Whitecloaks do.

11. After they heal up from the battle, they all Travel to Andor, near Whitebridge. Morgase regrets that Faile has taken the reveal of her identity so hard and now Morgase is in a strange half-place where she is no longer a servant but not a queen either. *sigh* It's frustrating that her marrying Tallanvor is still basically forced along by Lini. Let her relax into a relationship first, sheesh. Anyway. Morgase's plan is to offer to be Elayne's advisor.

12. The chapter ends with Perrin getting to have a private reunion with Mat. lol, Perrin and Mat have barely interacted on page in the book series (especially compared to Rand and Mat) and yet Sanderson goes out of his way to let the two of THEM get a private reunion. This is genuinely the first time when Perrin has felt like an author's pet, at least for me (though I do think that Jordan would have spent considerably less page time on Perrin than Sanderson did, this is the first time when that extra Perrin time has felt like it came out of nowhere and was put in just so that Perrin could have a special treat, in this case, the treat of getting Fun Times With Mat for a couple of pages ... though actually, now that I think about, Perrin getting to be the Special One who gets to witness Rand's epiphany on Dragonmount first-hand feels like it falls into this category as well, of Perrin getting Special Treats because he's Sanderson's Particular Favorite and he wants Perrin to experience All The Cool Moments).

Why is Mat here in Whitebridge? Didn't he promise to stay in Caemlyn for a month? Has it already been a month? How did Mat even know that Perrin would be in Whitebridge? An off-screen strategic use of the color swirls, in a way that Mat has never used them before? It's just so random that he's here rather than him and Perrin meeting up for the first time once Perrin arrives in Caemlyn.

Interestingly (to me), Mat has continued to regress emotionally -- he's pulled a childish prank and wants Perrin to join him in it. Also interesting: Mat's hat is completely unfamiliar to Perrin, which speaks again to how quickly and thoroughly Perrin was able to suppress the color swirls compared to Mat and Rand. Anyway, Mat quickly hugs Perrin, arranges to meet him later, and 'borrows' one of the Asha'man to help him hop around (Neald).

Also, we know from Gawyn's chapter that there are ex-damane and ex-sul'dam wandering around the Royal Palace and yet... I don't think we ever get a scene where Mat runs across them the way that Gawyn did. Again, it feels like the narrative is sheltering Mat from seeing the full truth about the Empire that he is tying himself to, making it easier for him to play pretend that he can reason Tuon into being a decent person.

13. Elayne enjoys the warmth of her bond with Rand, after having learned the good news from Egwene that Mesaana was taken care of. It's been a week since Auldra's test (which means no more bed rest, so it was literally just a SINGLE CHAPTER where she was carried around in a bed; being carried around in a bed is the new "Elayne takes too many baths" where fandom exaggerates how much something actually happened) and Elayne has pressed every bellfounder in Andor into making more 'dragons'. Elayne deals with some politics re: the claiming of the Sun Throne. When Birgitte brings someone in unannounced, Elayne assumes that it's Mat (so Mat has permission to come into Elayne's private chambers without being formally announced). But it is Galad instead, and she is very startled to see him. And then even MORE startled to see her mother, alive and well. Morgase lets her know that she has formally renounced the throne, so no worries there, and Elayne and Galad share some information about how Galad became Lord Commander of the Whitecloaks and how the Succession went for Elayne. She invites them to a private dinner later.

14. When Elayne is alone in the room with Morgase (and Birgitte), she tells Morgase about her pregnancy and that Rand is the father. A frustrating way about how this story was set up by Jordan (and @markantonys and I have talked a lot about how this bothers us!) is because Min ~conveniently~ got black-out drunk and so was able to tell all of Caemlyn about Elayne's pregnancy but conveniently 'unable' to tell Rand, is that the pregnancy has been completely isolated to Elayne's storyline and hasn't had any impact on Rand. Which really makes it feel more like Elayne was made pregnant ~for the Dragon's Legacy~ than anything else, especially because of how Jordan immediately started having the people around Elayne treat her as a vessel for her future children rather than a person who was pregnant (even though they didn't know the kids were ~legacy babies~). Again, something that Jordan started but that Sanderson has unfortunately continued. I'm hopeful that (if the show should get that far) the show would do things differently with this storyline, because Rand has already been allowed to have "I could be a dad" related feelings in the show.

15. At night in the Three-Fold Land, Aviendha studies Rhuidean and thinks of the three ways that Rand 'broke' the city. He took away the shrouding mists surrounding it. He brought water to it (the lake is named Tears of the Dragon, Tsodrelle'Aman). And the final way is that he made the cultural impact of the city profoundly different by sharing the truth of the Aiel's past with all the Aiel, so it is no longer something that is a test for Wise Ones and clan chiefs. And so she thinks about how there is a strength in accepting change, and not clinging to tradition for tradition's sake alone. She realizes that her plan of retreating back into the Three-Fold Land never meshed with the other desires of her heart -- she wants Rand to survive the Last Battle but if he does, he will live in the wetlands. And Elayne is her first-sister who she loves and does not want to abandon, and plans to be sister-wives with, and Elayne would also live in the wetlands. She was thinking of how she became a Maiden in part because of her search to be strong but "strength was not strength if it had no purpose or direction".

(she does not think about Min because why would she? Min has never bothered trying to build a relationship with her and, in direct contrast to Elayne, has shown many times that she isn't interested in learning any more about the Aiel or their ways.)

16. The Black Tower plotline should belong to Nynaeve . That is my only comment on chapter 46, lol. I don't hate Androl like some people do but... the Black Tower plotline should have been Nynaeve's (and Logain's too tbh, and would have been a good source for his 'glory' viewing from Min). This also would have given Nynaeve a strong late-series antagonist in Taim, after she's defeated Moghedien earlier in the series.

17. Actually, I am going to talk a bit about how frustrating it is that Jordan kept avoiding this plotline. It is a festering wound in Rand's storyline for months/books and Rand just keeps avoiding it and avoiding it. We get these tiny little hints into what might be happening at the Black Tower, but mostly it's just a self-inflicted wound on Rand's part that never really get resolved on his end, because Rand never goes back there. He creates it and then lets it be Someone Else's Problem, and it kinda feels like it's tied to how Jordan kept having Rand avoid Caemlyn in general. It feels like it's an element of the story that Jordan just... didn't know how to solve, so he kept punting it forward to the future and hoping he would figure it out eventually (kinda like the Seanchan, I guess). But, yeah, I feel like having Nynaeve literally stop by the Black Tower for Lan's bond and then immediately leaving really feels like a missed opportunity on Sanderson's part.

18. Faile, Perrin & co Travel to Caemlyn and Faile is startled by how there is a ring of clear sky around the city, breaking the cloud cover and allowing the sunlight to shine through. That's Rand's love for Elayne. <3

Faile notes here that Elayne is a younger version of her mother (she doesn't think here about how she missed the resemblance before, though now that she brings it up -- she also met Elayne in Tear, just like Perrin did, lol) and notes her pregnancy as well. Yet more people who found out before Rand did. Though Faile does not know for sure that Rand is the dad -- though he is an option that she speculates on.

19. Anyway, obviously Elayne does not execute Perrin. They make an agreement that Perrin will be a ~high lord~ in charge of the Two Rivers but underneath Elayne. It's kinda hilarious to me that Perrin flatly turns down the whole "super early betrothal" idea between his potential kid and Elayne's because of Rand and Egwene's evolving backstory throughout the first five books in the series, one version of which WAS them being ~all but promised~ since childhood, so it kinda IS a Two Rivers thing.

The political mechanism of this is going to be them having it styled as a request from RAND aka the Dragon Reborn, so it doesn't look like Elayne is giving in to the demands of rebels from the crown but is instead honoring the debt the world owes the Two Rivers for raising Rand and "the man I love", so Elayne is thinking at the point that she does intend to go public with her relationship with Rand, it seems, otherwise I don't see how that part of the plan can work. Though this may be Elayne assuming/hoping that Rand will survive the Last Battle and then they will be able to go public.

Hmmm, given that Elayne was kinda ~eh~ on whether or not she agreed with Egwene on needing to 'stop Rand' re: breaking the seals, it's interesting that she frames things that way with Perrin, as if she agrees with Egwene 100%. This conversation is all very political from Elayne's side of things, so I wonder if this part of it is as well. Or maybe Elayne has decided that Egwene is right after thinking things over.

20. ~Fortuona's~ skirt is so heavy and long that it requires five slaves to carry the train of it as she wanders around 'her' palace in Ebou Dar. Let's see what this scene is about, especially given my recent thoughts about how the little empress is a foil for Elayne, who just engaged in some clever political justifications in order to help the Two Rivers maintain autonomy.

Ah, we are being reminded that she gets off on torturing helpless women aka ~teaching lessons~ to stubborn damane. "You did not destroy a beast because it was slow to learn; you punished it until it learned." She's so repulsive in her internal narration. Also, that once again reminds me of how she treated Mat during the circus arc. Another point for 'she was slave-breaking him'. #MatDeservedBetter #PutMatInThePolycule #Yikes

She finds it soothing to watch women be tortured into whimpering and unwilling submission. How is she better than Semirhage, exactly? This is the exact same mindset that Semirhage had.

21. lol forever, the Seanchan are the biggest try-hards in the world. Her gown is covered with writings talking about how "The Empress IS Seanchan. The Empress WILL live forever. The Empress MUST be obeyed" (emphasis in the text). Someone is really really insecure, isn't she, despite her massive ego? Also, that is a straight-forward repudiation of Mat's belief that he can fight her empire without fighting her. She IS the Empire. If he openly turns against the Empire and against slavery, she will take it as a personal assault against her as a person. Speaking of Mat, she thinks here that one of the lessons she learned from her time with him was that not every noble on this side of the ocean would be plotting to assassinate her, as they might in Seanchan. That's the main lesson that she decided to take from her time with Mat. Nothing else important happened in your time with the circus? (also, I don't get how in the world she learned that from the circus journey? lol the only other Seanchan noble on that trip besides her was Egeanin, who was a. Low Blood and b. defected from the Seanchan over to the Westlanders; Fortuona is literally just making things up and creating baseless fictions in her head)

22. Ah, we are also here to show that Elaida is in the process of being broken. I had to skim over all the grossness here. I do think that a part of the reason it's Elaida here and not any other Aes Sedai is likely an attempt at softening the horror of what ~Fortuona~ is doing for the reader but, yeah, that bs does not work on me. I'm with Egwene. No one deserves to be treated like this. It's genuinely so unbelievable that the narrative wants to convince me that Mat would be willing to kiss (let alone do anything else with) a woman like this. Another character more devoid of morals and with a lack of empathy, sure. But Mat? Complete bullshit. (which is why Mat was replaced with a pod!person version of himself in CoT & KoD -- Mat's characterization change really remains the most obvious indicator that Tuon's original plot was likely quite different than what we ended up with, because Mat in WH is clearly set up to morally challenge Tuon and then in CoT & KoD, we abruptly swap to enabling & coddling her instead)

Because sure, Mat cares about people over abstract principles, but he is aware that marath'damane are people too. He barely knew Teslyn and he reworked his entire escape plan to save her. He didn't know the Windfinders at all and, again, risked his entire escape plan to help free them. Mat throwing aside the ~little people trampled under her feet~ in favor of the elite noble lady is just... not in character. It really does suck that Jordan decided to deal with punting off the issue of the Seanchan by destroying Mat rather than... any other option.

23. Anyway, the Seanchan officially now have Traveling, which I'm guessing is the other big reason we have this scene, not just as a contrast against Elayne. But we see here ~Fortuona~ wondering if she will have "unwavering loyalty" from 'Matrim' and an "impossible marriage" out of a fantasy where she will actually be able to trust the Prince of Ravens. tbh this feels like another illustration of Fortuona Just Making Up Fictions In Her Head -- Mat has explicitly told her that her empire is his enemy, and she views herself AS the empire so... no. Mat has no current plans to pledge his ~unwavering loyalty~ to her. But Fortuona has probably blocked out that part of the conversation because she didn't like it, lol.

She then immediately begins plotting her next strike against the White Tower, with this new weapon of being able to Travel directly to the enemy stronghold.

Mat, get a better wife. This one sucks.

24. Hmm, we go directly from seeing ~Fortuona~ being a terrible person, to Mat telling Perrin about being married to 'the Daughter of the Nine Moons', which he maintains is different than being married to 'the Empress of the Seanchan', so even in outside PoVs, Mat is trying to maintain that wall of pretense that Tuon isn't actually a major part of the Seanchan Empire. Interestingly, it sounds like Perrin told his own story first, so Mat & Thom (also here) are aware that Perrin is buddy-buddy with slavers (I doubt he went into detail about selling women into slavery, but he would have needed to mention allying with the Seanchan to explain how he freed Faile & Co from the Shaido). I wonder if that shaped any of their own responses to him.

And I will say, Perrin treating Mat being married to the Empress of the Slavers like the ‘of the Slavers’ part is meaningless: Ugh. I mean, it follows from his horrendous Actually Slavers Are Great People Sometimes ‘epiphany’ of KoD but it still sucks. He literally just goes "lol married man Mat" here, and has zero opinions about the quality of Mat's bride. And this is in Perrin's PoV, so if he were grossed out by Mat marrying a slaver, we would know. He is amused that Mat is married, grins a lot, and is content with just hanging out with someone who is married to a slaver. My respect for Perrin has plummeted once again.

25. Now, Thom is in this scene, so I'm going to examine his behavior closely, as promised. Very intriguing! He is the one who mentioned the marriage when he told the story (and Mat openly wishes that he hadn't) AND Mat grouses that he didn't make Mat sound heroic. Which is to say... Perrin has gotten pretty much precisely the opposite story to the one that Elayne got -- Elayne heard the version that DID make Mat sound heroic and that stopped before there was a marriage or having a slaver enforcer sent back to her empire to do more horrible things. And Thom is the one who told both of those very different stories. Hmm.

Putting this scene so soon after ~Fortuona~ thinking about how much she enjoys torturing people is, um, interesting. We have: Good Queen Elayne figuring out a bargain that will work for everyone; Torturer and Invader Tuon already planning to attack a stronghold of Team Light once again; and then Mat, who wishes people would stop bringing up his marriage.

26. lol, Thom's only comment on Tuon as a person (someone who he spent at least one whole month with, and it might have been two months idk the circus arc felt like it went on forever): "She's something interesting." lol, wow. That's the best he's willing to say about his ~good buddy Mat's wife~, huh? That's one of the best illustrations of 'damning with faint praise' that I've ever seen.

Mat himself does not offer up anything more positive about her at this time, just echoing Thom's comment.

Ugh, so grossed out by Perrin talking about how Mat's wife will expect him to know table manners. She's a slaver, Perrin. She enjoys watching people writhe in pain in front of her. Have some fucking perspective, will you?

...also, Perrin really has no room to talk about table manners. He canonically eats like a wolf.

27. Once again, Perrin confirms that Mat is now a fey creature who obeys oaths to the letter while breaking the spirit of them, apparently. Mat shows him the letter from Verin and Perrin smells it.

Aww, Mat does worry here about Verin. Well, she's dead, Mat. Read the letter instead of ignoring it.

lol, in contrast to Perrin hating when men smile, Mat notes that he wishes Grady would smile more. Don't say things like that around Perrin! He might take offense!

28. "This is why I left my wife in another kingdom". Ah, the very familiar sound of a man who is miserably married but doesn't know he's allowed to NOT be married. You will see this type of comment around the internet and it used to be pretty common on tv (especially sitcoms), though I think that's died down a bit in recent years (or I've just managed to successfully avoid the shows where it still happens). But the "please take my wife" school of 'jokes'. Happily married Grady finds the joke unpleasant. Because he actually likes his wife, I'm guessing.

Mat also notes that he feels like the world has been laughing at him recently. Then he tells Perrin that Moiraine is alive and that he plans to rescue her.

...yeah, I'm now leaning towards Thom believing that Mat is playing Tuon, because Mat's unhappiness about his marriage has not been particularly subtle, and it doesn't make sense for Thom to assume that Mat tumbled in love with her, because he's not acting like he wants to spend any time with her -- he's basically acting like he's ashamed to be married to her, given how much he openly regrets it whenever someone new learns about his marriage (even if he's the one who told them). Since Thom doesn't know about the prophecy, spy!Mat is the most logical conclusion for him to make.

I am also 100% not surprised that Perrin would fail to pick up on any subtext in Mat's feelings about ~his wife~ -- not picking up on people hiding their complex intentions and feelings behind false words has been a subplot throughout Perrin's plotline in the books (I talk, of course, of Berelain; who compared herself to Mat back in TSR and didn't chase him because she believed they were too much alike). Perrin is often baffled by why a person would say one thing and then do another contradictory thing (especially if they are feeling a third contradictory thing at the same time). Which is probably why Mat and Rand are closer friends over the course of the book series, tbh, because Rand was a lot better at picking up on that subtext from Mat just as Mat was better at figuring out what Rand's behavior meant than Perrin was.

29. Aviendha enters the forest of glass columns, expecting to see something similar to what Rand (and every Wise One and clan chief) saw. And she does. On the plus side, Avendesora has fully recovered from being burned during Rand's fight with Asmodean, which was less than a year ago. Yay, tree! We're reminded here of all the ter'angreal that Moiraine took out of Rhuidean, boxed up on caravans meant for the White Tower, but are now just... chilling in Cairhien somewhere. All that's left here is the tree, the glass forest, and the silver rings that the Wise Ones use.

30. She continues to think on whether or not tradition for its own sake is worth holding onto. And then, she actually thinks of trying to use the Talent that she discovered during her time with Elayne to find out more information on the glass columns! But she finds that this ter'angreal is much more powerful than any of the others that she had examined and she feels almost as if it is looking at her. When she turns away to leave, she finds herself drawn into a series of visions, but different ones than the ones she's already seen and came to expect.

31. Instead of the past, Aviendha sees a glimpse of a future. I use 'a' instead of 'the' because that's really the way that Wise Ones generally interface with future prophecies -- they have the silver rings and they have prophetic dreams, and BOTH of those are explicitly subject to change, both of them show possibility rather than certainty. So it makes sense that Aviendha treats this as a 'may happen' rather than 'will happen' (as Min treats her viewings). The Wise Ones always have a degree of malleability and uncertainty when it comes to their prophecies. So even though Aviendha thinks here that this vision feels more real than that of the silver rings, I do think it's partly the lessons of the rings that makes her decide not to just lie down and let the future happen to her, as so many other characters have done.

So it makes sense that the overall lesson that Aviendha takes from the glass columns is "okay, let's prevent this future".

32. The first new vision that Aviendha gets -- of a Aiel who thinks of herself as one of 'the Folk' and who lives a scrabbling life as scavengers in the desert, startles her. She wonders if interacting with the columns in the way that she did changed them. So she decides to turn around and go back into the columns, to see if there is a new lesson here.

33. The progression of lives (for part of this journey, Aviendha thinks she's viewing a distant past):

Malidra - scavenger who dies at 18 (end of Aviendha's line?)

Norlesh - we learn that the reason that the Aiel cannot trade with the 'wetlands' is due to the Raven Empress, who forbids trade with the Aiel. We learn that the reason they don't have settlements anymore is because they are attacked if they gather in large numbers, and they are not allowed back over the mountains into the wetlands.

Tava - greatmother (grandmother) to Norlesh. At fourteen, her hold was attacked and they were driven out to wander the desert. The attack was done via raken & to'raken, sounds like. We learn that this is far from the first time that a hold has been attacked -- few Aiel still hold to societies and sept/clan, because they have been forced to scattered and then regroup with new people so many times. This specific hold was deep in the waste, so they had believed it to be safe. We learn that "being known as Aiel meant death". This is when Aviendha realizes that this is not the past -- she recognizes the raken and the Seanchan uniform.

Ladalin - Wise One of the Taardad Aiel, who cannot channel and wishes that she could, so that she could help her people and remained young for longer to lead her clan. We learn that the Seanchan have done a successful job of hunting Aiel channelers, both male and female (so they may be actively using those copies of the black a'dam that Semirhage made). Ladalin is an old woman now and her entire life has been spent in battle against the Seanchan. We learn that the White Tower has just fallen and only five clans remain. The remaining Aiel decide to retreat back over the mountains and leave the wetlands to the Seanchan, hoping that their children can regroup and continue the fight in future generations. Aviendha finds Ladalin's PoV almost more confusing than the others because it is similar in some ways to Aiel culture thinking but with specific important pieces lost.

Oncala - Maiden of the Spear. Rhuidean has been besieged by the Seanchan. Oncala thinks about how the Aiel respected that the palace in Ebou Dar was the Seanchan's seat and did not attack it (until Rhuidean was attacked), yet the Seanchan attacked their place of peace. Oncala is visiting the royal palace in Caemlyn to speak with Queen Talana and is somewhat resentful that the Andoran royal family thinks themselves the equal of her own family, because they both have the blood of the Dragon. Because they know that they cannot fight the Seanchan alone, she and her family have papers that they took from the palace in Ebou Dar that show plans to attack the various places in the wetlands, thus bringing Andor into the war. However, they left out a document stating that this was a contingency plan and not an active assault being planned.

Padra - Aviendha's daughter, a Maiden of the Spear. She and her siblings have been able to channel since they were children, and she holds the Power constantly, even when she sleeps. We learn that the Seanchan have refused to let any of their enslaved channelers be released, even when the Aiel have offered to pay or trade for them. lol forever at ~the old Seanchan empress~ being considered a ~woman of honor~. Dude, I've met Fortuona. She's got no honor. Pride by the barrel, but no honor. But I guess it's easy to turn the dead into saints (actually the narration here implies that Fortuona dies relatively soon after the Last Battle, which I find interesting - "The old empress, the one who had ruled during the days of the Last Battle" does not sound like she was ruling for very long past that time period. "Many years had passed since her rule". Hmm). Anyway, this is the meeting, essentially, where the Aiel clans decide to go to active war with the Seanchan, thus kicking off the rest of the chain of events. Rhuarc's son talks to Padra after the decision has been made, about how his father felt that Rand was never truly part of the Aiel and didn't know what to do with them, leaving them at loose ends.

34. Anyway, I do think we have a couple of different motivations at work here for Sanderson: a. he needs Aviendha to decide to embrace her chosen future and not just allow the future to happen to her and b. making nice with the Seanchan is a fundamental part of the ending as Jordan had it set up in the epilogue, so he needs to make it so that the Aiel will play along with that.

However... there are some pretty big 'missing character' gaps in the vision that Aviendha has been shown. It's definitely less than a hundred years into the future in the first vision (we meet Rhuarc's son and there's no implication in the vision that he can channel) so... where is Aviendha? She can channel, and channel strongly. Same with Elayne. You'd think they might have some opinions and/or impact on the world. I kinda feel like the push-off into war probably should have taken place further into the future. Maybe have this vision have Rhuarc's grandson instead of his son, and not have any memory of seeing Rand. In a world where channelers can live hundreds of years... Amys or Melaine should still be around too, I would think. I have other questions as well. So despite Aviendha's own thoughts on it, the way that the viewings actually play out feels more like an intentional warning than a true future.

But you know, I did get a good laugh when Fortuona was called honorable, so we'll always have that.

The next reread post will probably be the last one for ToM and I'm going to save any commentary for HOW Aviendha goes about approaching changing the future for when she lays out her thoughts about it, since she hasn't said yet what her plans are, and I don't know if I've remembered them correctly. I think maybe we don't find out until AMoL. We'll see!

#wot #wheel of time #wot reread #towers of midnight #wot book spoilers #wot spoilers #aviendha #perrin aybara #elayne trakand #mat cauthon

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skylarsblue · 2 years

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Could you write Lester Sinclair a secret (at first) lover who is a man? They live outside of Ambrose and are just as or even more eccentric than Lester. They are also more athletically built and a good bit taller. 💕 If this is too specific just let me know!

✦Lester Sinclair W/ Male!S/O✦

*slamming hands on desk* I LOVE GAY SHIT ✦AMAB!Reader that uses He/Him pronouns, implied to be 6'0+ & muscular, also kinda southern, warning for some suggestive stuff, also for time-period appropriate homophobia✦

I firmly believe Lester is pansexual with no preference. He's just into people, though of course, he doesn't know much about labels. He's not in the loop of society much, and he grew up in a small southern town. He knows straight, gay, and "straight until you have a beer", essentially.

Lester never had the understanding of why being gay would be an issue. Even when he'd hear people whisper about it. He's probably asked his brothers before, which was hard to explain to Lester. Bo didn't really try and Vincent struggled to find the right words.

Lester probably had to have it explained in the simplest of terms. "Ain't nothin' wrong wit' bein' gay or bein' straight. But people gonna talk if you swing one way, cause people are assholes. That's how it is." That's what Bo said. Vincent took a little more care, writing it all out so he wouldn't be hindered by limited sign language.

"People hate what they don't understand. If they can't relate, most of the time, they won't have empathy. Those people are cruel. Their opinion means nothing, even if they're a majority sometimes. It doesn't matter where your love comes from, as long as it's genuine." Vincent had a much nicer way with words. But Lester took both explanations to heart.

He never really saw representation either, so it probably took him a long time to realize which way he slid. He knew he definitely liked women, he and Bo had a similar type most of the time. But occasionally, he'd find himself staring at man, unable to break the stare for some reason. I'd imagine he was around twenty before he heard the term bisexual and ran with that for a little while. He doesn't label himself though, he's more of a go-with-the-flow type of guy.

Lester never properly came out either, not when he was sober anyway. I'd wager to bet that Vincent probably knows because they're also a bit fruity, while Bo's oblivious.

Though Lester likes just about anyone who gives him positive attention, he's got minuscule experience. He was always the weird kid growing up and he never knew how to really grow out of that. He likes people, but he doesn't understand people if that makes any sense. Maybe he got lucky once, honestly, I can't see him being much of a playboy or anything.

Him having a male significant other would probably come up out of nowhere, since he's never been the type to actually bother looking for a date. All his crushes were spontaneous and a lot of the time, he didn't even try talking to them. I'd imagine he'd bump into you either in a public setting, or maybe he'd find you walking by yourself toward Ambrose. Or perhaps you're his favorite worker at a store he regularly visits. Whatever it is, he'll be a little thrown off by the butterflies he gets.

Even when you're dating, Lester won't tell his brothers. He trusts his brothers with a lot, but he's shy about his sparse love-life. Bo's very protective & reading Vincent's opinion is virtually impossible. That coupled with the old mindsets they were raised around, and then lay the fact it's the early 2000s on top of it? Yeah, he's got a lot of anxiety.

Lester will be honest that he has brothers nearby, but explain haphazardly that he's a bit worried about introducing him. "Cause I'm a guy?" "Oh no no, well, I mean, kinda. But like they ain't bigots or nothin', it's just that they're protective and I don't want them gettin' the wrong idea, and they-"

Man went on rambling for minutes on end until you reassured him it was fine, and that you completely understood.

Lester knows that a lot of people are against gay marriage and stuff, but at the same time, he doesn't filter how he feels about you at all. Even in public. Sometimes he'll be hyper-aware of who's around and other times he acts as if you two are the only ones that exist.

Holding your hand in the store, playfully flirting at a bar, demanding a kiss when he does good on picking groceries. He's not used to affection so he soaks it up like a sponge Homophobes be damned, he's gettin' his lovin'!

In any relationship Lester's in, I can't see him being necessarily dominant, though I can't see him being real submissive either. He's more in the middle. That kind of dynamic doesn't really happen in everyday life when you're with him, you're equals.

In the bedroom, this tends to carry over as well, but again, he's not super experienced. Especially with a man. There's some anxiety that blends with his eagerness, and it leads to him kinda...awkwardly freezing. He wants to do stuff! He's just not sure what the stuff is. You'll definitely need to coax him to loosen up, explaining you can take the lead for now, and if he wanted to do so later? When he had more confidence? Then you'd do that.

That being said, Lester honestly doesn't mind bein' a bit of a pillow princess. He doesn't know that's what he's being but hey, it's nice being cared for sometimes! Especially when you're a super touch-starved dude like he is.

You ain't wearing him out either, he gets hyped up on this stuff. If you're the type to need a nap after doing the naughty? Good fuckin' luck, Lester's ready to talk your damn ear off. "Oh! Did I tell ya 'bout the giant wolf spider I found in my truck? The sucker was big as my hand! I mean it! Wolf spiders are real interestin', they got real good eyesight and-"

You know so many animal/plant facts, it's really great for bar trivia.

Lester's not bothered by the fact you're bigger than him either. He has no issue at all, he can work around that! You can life twice what he can? "That's mighty useful! Maybe you can give me a hand!" Oh, your voice super deep and bass-y? "I bet everyone would lis'en to me at the wood shop if you'd back me up! Soundin' all scary like that!" Oh, you a bit too tall for him to reach for a kiss? "Oh that ain't no problem! I can just stand on the back o' my pick-up! Look, see? Now I'm perfect height ta reach!"

Hell, he'll fuckin' jump if he has to. He's getting that kiss.

Lester moves really fast in a relationship for the most part. He's not going to pressure you and he's completely understanding if you need to move slower, but he's not wasting any time if you're okay with it. Move in a week after meeting him! Hell, he'll marry you within a few months if you feel it's right. Full courthouse and everything! (Don't tell him it's not legal yet, he'll get sad)

If you find out what his brothers do, and the fact he helps them, Lester gets sick and numb. He'll honest to god have a panic attack if he can't find you afterward. He's worried about his family and now he's sickened by the fact the person he loves most thinks he's a monster. That doesn't tend to bother him any other time.

But, if you don't leave, and even seem kinda chill with it? It's the biggest relief. It'll also help how he feels about you meeting the twins.

Still, he'll try to keep you away from it if possible. He doesn't want you needing to get your hands dirty with blood unnecessarily.

He absolutely thinks you being sadistic is attractive, I'm sorry, I don't make the rules. He's willing to kill for the person he loves, and if you return the favor? Oh, OH, he's gonna suck ya dick so hard.

✧---------------------------------------------------------✧

There were storm clouds coming in, and quickly. The wind was cold and it was growing harsher by the second. Dirt & small rocks clattered together as your shoes met the ground. You took in a deep breath and looked up to the sky, silently cursing the hands of fate that dealt you these cards. It was a shitty deal and you clearly weren't cut out for gambling with this kind of luck. "Fuckin' figures."

You'd come out to the middle of nowhere with nothing but some clothes in a bag, a Nokia phone, a switchblade, and your dignity. All shoved into a 1971 SST 2-door hardtop. Which was now completely dead. Both from a lack of coolant & gas. It had carried you across half of Lousiana, loyal thing, but it was bound to fail eventually. Especially with the limited funds you had. It was either a car or food, and bathing, given not every local gym was nice enough to let you take a shower for free. You'd at least managed to get one before you ended up on some old backroad, not that it would matter now, since the rain was coming in. Being in between jobs was hard enough. It seemed like everything kept getting worse. Being let go from a decent-paying job, losing an apartment, and needing to move back home all at twenty-four? Not a great month. Then it was made even worse.

All because your parents were old Southern baptist.

They'd heard it around of an old "buddy" of yours, a brief boyfriend was what he really was. Not a terrible guy, honestly, but it didn't work out. It ended amicably. And yet, one slip to one wrong person, and now you were a homeless drifter. Of course, your parents had technically given you an option. Rebuke the devil or leave. Naturally, you left. You weren't a huge fan of your parents anyway. You'd told them you'd be caught sucking the devil's dick before you went through another baptism to "wash the queer" out of you. That was basically the last nail in the coffin of your already shotty relationship with them.

You'd been walking for a while, though you weren't exactly sure how long. Long legs getting you pretty far with each stride. A headache had begun forming from the unconscious anger showing in your face, clenching jaw and furrowed brow. You sighed and rubbed the back of your neck, looking down at the dirt. A large gust of wind blew towards your face and it carried a terrible smell with it, making you cringe and slow for a moment. "Fuckin' hell, the fuck is that?" You hissed, looking around. It was a few feet further before you saw the cause. A roadkill pit. "That 'splains it." You slurred quietly, adjusting the hold on your bag. You hummed, watching flies circle around decaying bodies of deer and other animals. You tore your eyes away at the sight of a decomposing dog. Poor thing.

You'd made it about a little past before the sound of tires and some clacking caught your attention. You turned and spotted a Chevorlet, old and dirty. Probably from 1980-something. It rolled to a stop beside the pit. You tilted your head and watched as someone got out, seemed like a man, probably only 5'7". Dressed in a stained flannel, some jeans tucked into boots, and a dark green hat. Whistling a tune as he walked around the truck and to the back. The sound of a tailgate dropping and thumping gave away what he was doing. He was the roadkill driver. Respectable job, even if gross.

You stepped a bit closer. Maybe he'd know where the nearest town was, or maybe you'd get lucky and he'd have a bottle coolant somewhere in that truck full of... raccoon tails and bones, by the looks of it. Though you paused when a dog's head popped up from the seats, staring at you through the windshield. Then it began barking, though it didn't seem too aggressive, you hoped anyway. There was a light sprinkle of rain starting now, and it would no doubt start to get worse. The man spoke to the dog as he came back around the truck. "Yeesh, Jonesy, what's your deal?" He asked in a thick southern accent. He looked in your direction and you gave an awkward wave. "Sorry, didn't mean to freak out your dog."

The man shut the car door. "Ah nah, that's alright. Can I help ya?" He smiled. Not the best teeth but he couldn't help but remind you of a dog. You returned the smile in kind. "Well uh, I'm not sure. Would you happen to know of a town nearby? Or, perhaps you got some coolant in that truck of yours?" You asked. The man adjusted his hat and shook his head. "Ain't got any of that, but there's a station up in Ambrose. Bo could fix ya up there. Might wanna get there quick before the storm gets worse." He said, walking back to his truck. He motioned for you to come closer. "I could take ya if you'd like!"

"Really? Fuck, you're a lifesaver." You sighed in relief, jogging closer. The dog, Jonesy, popped up when you opened the passenger's side door. She sniffed at you aggressively, tail wagging, before she seemed to smile and settle down. "Well, aren't you sweet." You said softly, patting her back as you got in the truck. Bones clattered. It was a busted-up truck, but it was charming in that way. "Oh yeah, Jonesy's a sweetheart for sure. Found'er on the side of the road! Got real sad cause I thought I'd be puttin' her in the back. But nope! She was alive!" The stranger smiled, staring the car again. You hummed and quickly acknowledged you hadn't told him your name, which you quickly corrected. He repeated it by the syllable to ensure he got it.

"Name's Lester Sinclair! Nice meetin' ya!" He held out one of his hands. You went to shake it, though hesitated when you saw some roadkill blood. He glanced and quickly wiped it on his jeans. "Sorry bout that." "Nah nah, it's fine. Come with the job, yeah?" You said, properly shaking his hand now. His hands were callous and dirty, but Lester noted how much smaller his hands felt compared to yours. He never thought he had small hands until now. "Mighty big hands you got, you a workin' man?" He asked. You shrugged. "More or less. Not at the moment. Corporate bullshit and all." He nodded at your response.

You glanced down at the dog between the both of you and noted a knife strapped to his belt. "That a bowie knife?" You asked. Lester looked over and then down before he grinned, pulling it from the holster. "Yeah! You like knives? Carved this one myself!" He held it up proudly. He felt warmth bubble in his face as your fingers grazed his, taking the blade. "That right? Did a good job by the looks of it. You the "use everything" type of man, eh?" Lester felt his cheeks burn, he hoped it didn't show. "Mhm, that'd be right!"

"Well, that's real admirable. Don't find people like that much anymore." You complimented, giving the knife back. Lester seemed to get more energetic, tapping his fingers on the wheel. Maybe he thought it was subtle but you noticed, and honestly? It was pretty cute. The sound between you both dipped off for a moment as the rain grew worse, clattering against the windows. "So what brings you all the way out here?" Lester spoke again. "Oh, technically I was just off the highway, I've been walking this road cause my car gave out on me. Poor thing, been through a lot recently." You explained. The man looked over at you with wide eyes. "You walked this whole way from the highway?! Well, I'll be damned, you must be exhausted! What's a guy like you doin' that for?" He asked.

"Well, been a shitty month. Job let me go, been strugglin' to get a new one. Got kicked out of my apartment cause rent went up by twice as much as it used to be. Went to my parents for a lil, then had a falling out with'em. Probably the last I'll ever speak to'em." You admitted. It felt cathartic to actually say it out loud even if it was also upsetting. Exhausting for you to recall all the problems that happened in such a short span of time. Lester clicked his tongue in sympathy. "Ain't that some shit. What was so bad they kicked ya out?" He asked innocently. You bit the inside of your cheek. It was always hard to gauge how people felt about the topic of gay people, and with all due respect, Lester didn't seem like the type to be cool with it. Still, it wasn't like you had much to lose. So, with a sigh, you just said it.

"Ain't too into me likin' men. Church-going types." You said quietly, looking out the window, following the raindrops. "Oh that kinda bullshit, don't blame ya for not wantin' to talk to'em then." His response was quick and it honestly caught you off guard. "You uh...you okay with that?" You asked. Lester glanced over and nodded. "Yeah? Well, I grew up 'round people who weren't, but I didn't ever understand why. One of my brothers put it in a way that always stuck with me. It don't matter where your love comes from, s'long as it's genuine." He explained. A smile broke out across your face and your gaze softened. "Well, that's a nice change."

Lester nodded. Butterfly wings grazed his stomach and he came to a stop, hissing between his teeth. "Road's washed out worse than I thought. Thought I could beat it." You waved your hand. "Nah, don't worry about it. I can probably just walk across. You got me pretty far." You replied. "You'll get soaked out in that! And there ain't no guarantee Bo'll even be at the station. Hm..." He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. "I got a cabin nearby if you wanna wait it out there. Only if ya want though!" He offered. The kindness was a much-welcome change. Perhaps it was a bit naive to just...agree. But you didn't feel like wading through ankle-deep water to end up in a town with no one in it. "Yeah, sounds fine to me." Lester beamed at your agreement. He hadn't had guests in his home in...well, ever, excluding his brothers.

Some nerves burned in his body as he changed course to drive up to his cabin. Silence passed between the two of you, comfortable for you, tense for Lester. Finally, he struck up a slightly shy conversation. "Ya know uh, I ain't ever been to sure bout my whole...sexuality, or whatever it's called." He admitted. You glanced over with a raised eyebrow. "Yeah?" "Well like, I know women are mighty pretty. Always knew that. But uh...ya know, every now and then..." He trailed off with a passive hand motion, ears bright red. You smiled and gave a soft chuckle, not mocking, more fond. "There's a man that's just as pretty?" You asked, making him nod. "But then there's manly women and pretty men and they're also nice to look at. Met a few people who I couldn't tell at all, but I knew I liked lookin' at'em." Lester rambled.

"Well, there's a term called pansexual, bisexual also covers that kind of feeling. It's the ability to be sexually and romantically attracted to people. Just people. Regardless of their biological gender or how they present." You explained. It was a bit more complicated than that, but a simple explanation was probably best suited. "That right? Huh...maybe I'm that then." Lester mumbled. "Could be. Ain't anything wrong with it." You shrugged. The conversation dipped off again but not for long. "You got a type in men?" You asked, smiling when Lester choked on his own saliva. "Well uh- I mean, no, but like-..." He stuttered. Your laugh rang out in the truck and he felt his chest tighten. "Relax, loverboy, take your time." The pet name made Lester's blood burn. He let out an exhale. "Startin' to form one right now." He whispered, maybe thinking you couldn't hear.

You did.

"I'll keep that in mind." You replied quietly. Lester let out an exhale as he turned past some trees, pulling up to a nice-looking cabin. Rustic and hidden amongst tall trees. You snorted when the man thumped his forehead on the steering wheel, snickering when he patted his face. "Alright, I'm good." He said, sitting straight again. "Welcome!" He motioned to the cabin. You laughed again and nodded. "Thank you! C'mon, I'm eager to see all the bones you have." You said. Lester brightened up and hopped out of the truck like a kid on Christmas. He'd never had anyone interested in his bone collection. Running up to the porch. "Oh I got plenty to show ya, trust me." Lester grinned. "If it's anything like your truck? I'm excited." You nodded, following him inside.

What a nice turn of luck.

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