#like edward STAHP it is much more of a compliment to just try to eat her

[thedevilbites]

incoming jasper/bella rant *takes deep breath*

ok so i really wanted to rewatch the twilight movies because let us all be perfectly transparent the movies are a culmination of everything that is glittering and good and pure on this here scorched earth BUT the issue comes to us during the first movie where apparently everyone lost their pink fleshy minds and completely ignored the bella/jasper endgame ship THAT WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE <3 in favor of some crazy talk weather kink edward shenanigans. andddd i know if i watch the movies single cold tear will fall down my cheek because i would lose some quality jasper/bella content and i know the fandom is alive and well(ish) and i must dismount my steed and contribute to it at some point honestly bella/carlisle gets me warm and fuzzy sometimes…we’ve all thought about it you pigeons don’t try to deny it but today is not one of those days and so i curse the powers that be for my insolence ANYWAY the point:

bella/jasper amazingness is 110% a fact like i’m sure our gal/not our gal depending on how you slice it steph m had to grit her teeth to get through the books with edward/bella as the lead pair SO the question remains: watch the movies and suffer through new moon with jasper pulling out those arms and bella looking at him like he is a delectable ham and cheese croissant and we ALL cannot even begin to deny the power of a ham and cheese croissant. flaky pastry?? some fresh organic no pesticides or whatever ham?! some gruyere cheese?? warmed up!!!! SIGN ME UP like how does that crazy twitching girl not just DEVOUR HIM or he should actually devour her… i’m getting some switches vibes lol?? ON THE SPOT??

we know that khaki-skirt-loving edward (please tell me you know what i am referring to) is a grandpa and wants bella to wait a thousand years before going down on her which is some bull right there and jasper would never make her wait he already literally tried to eat her and we damn well know he wont be waiting to eat something else….*sly smile due to perfectly delivered sex joke* 

so YEAH the point is that now we all need to watch the movies it is decided here and now and let us all hold hands and join in a cumulative yodeling chant whenever we see bella and edward together and maybe if we yell loud enough bella will remove her head from the clouds/metaphorical rock it was under and get with jasper already