#like each time i think i am done i start creating even more iterator dudes

[rotten-machinery]

Currently in shambles bawling in the bathroom stall at school when I remembered I got character concepts I sorta wanted to post

[douxreviews]

Arrow - ‘Brothers and Sisters’ Review

“There’s two of you now?”

Wow! Everything about this became so unbelievably clear.  Two sets of siblings attempt to forge connections after years spent apart.  I get the answers to most of my niggling questions.  And, we get an extra special guest star.  **Squee**

Let start with our future siblings.  It turns out that William’s departure to his grandparent’s home is permanent.  There is not a second bequeathing of the hozen or second departure as I speculated.  This is depressing since Jack Moore finally proved he could hold his own with the rest of the cast instead of just serving as the plot complication he normally did.  It’s also disquieting.  It means that someone, presumably Grandma and Grandpa Clayton, deliberately kept Oliver and Felicity from contacting William ever again.

Which is why he had no idea he had a sister.  Mia was aware of William though it’s not clear what she believed happened to him.  What is clear is Mia never knew her father.  And while Felicity never stopped thinking of or referring to Oliver as a hero, in true daughter-like fashion, Mia didn’t believe her.  It makes me wonder whose decision it was for Mia to use the last name Smoak.

Curiosity brings the brother and sister together regardless of their trust issues.  William justified his parents’ absence with the belief they were trying to protect him but Mia’s existence gives him pause.  Mia was convinced that her father’s actions caused the downfall of Star City (which may still be true) and despite Felicity’s claims, he was no hero.  William can provide a second opinion.  Their mutual desire to find Felicity and put together the puzzle pieces of their family lead not only to a cease-fire but a tentative agreement to work together.   And now that they have a lead...

Which brings us to our current set of siblings.  Oliver, as usual, has the best of intentions.  Upon learning of Emiko’s mother’s murder he vows to help her find the killer.  Unfortunately, Oliver, as usual, believes he knows best.  Now that he is working within the confines of the law everyone else should too.  He conveniently skips over the many times he equated vengeance with justice and meted out both.  And, as Rene says, stubbornness runs in the family.  Emiko is unwilling to take a back seat on her own mission.  Which leads to yet another confrontation between Ollie and his sister and another breach of trust.

How strange is it that Wild Dog is now the voice of reason, pointing out Oliver’s hypocrisy, and reminding him Emiko needs a brother, not a protector or mentor.  Luckily Oliver is not as stubborn (or as dense) as he once was.  He goes back to Emiko with an apology and the information she seeks.  Like their future counterparts, they arrive at an uneasy alliance if not a true understanding.  The only question is whether Emiko can be trusted now that we finally learned where she picked up her mysterious fighting skills.  Dante.

We are introduced to Dante and if you were anything like me it was worth the wait.  According to the Joss Whedon school of storytelling when the resident badass is afraid of someone that person becomes scary by default. Diaz, destroyer of the Quadrant and established Big Bad, is afraid of Dante. Ergo Dante is the Bigger Bad.  And if you weren’t sure, Diaz’s demise solidified it.  And Dante was one scary dude.  Virgil, his emissary, jumped out of a window rather than return in defeat.  And when Diaz informed him of the setup, Dante killed the Princess and Deputy Director Bell on the suspicion they sold him out.

The icing was realizing Dante was none other than Adrian Paul.  I know I’m dating myself but I’ve been a fan of his since Highlander premiered back in ‘92.  I squealed in delight when he graced my screen and the grin did not leave my face till long after the episode ended.  And for a man nearing 60, he can still move!  What a perfect piece of casting.

Then there’s Felicity.  Past and present, or rather present and future.  Our current iteration has been going through her own crucible this season with this being her final test.  Would she cross the line and become a killer or remain a hero?  There was no foregone conclusion.  Felicity has been on a pretty dark path for a while now.   Though I must admit, after the multiple “I’ll back your play” speeches, I had my suspicions about which path she’d choose.  And I was proved correct when Felicity allowed Diaz to be taken into custody rather than exacting vengeance.

Future Felicity remains an open question since the person who knows her best is neither objective nor trustworthy.  Has the never-ending cycle of Big Bad after Big Bad made Felicity paranoid?  Or did Oliver’s presumed death do that?  Considering that everyone who knew about the plans to blow up Star City is dead or missing, should we even call it paranoia?

Felicity is not the only remaining question. I can understand why Roy didn’t know about Mia, but why didn’t Dinah? And why did Diggle? It’ll only be a few months before Felicity starts showing.  So whatever is going to happen, it's going to happen soon. So when does Dig get around to adopting Connor?  And if Connor is Diggle’s adopted son, what that hell happened to J.J.?

I enjoyed the hell out of this episode just as I’m enjoying the hell out of this season.  However, if the future we’re witnessing comes to pass, Oliver ultimately failed in his mission to save his city and after everything he’s been through, he deserves better than for that to be his legacy.

4 out of 5 mini cassettes  

Parting Thoughts:  

If everything we heard is true, I wonder if William started his quest under false pretenses.  I find it hard to believe it was Felicity that placed Lian Yu’s coordinates in the hozen.  She would have needed far more future knowledge than she appears to have.

Felicity’s fears of not being able to protect herself and her family from Diaz may have been resolved but the paranoia that Mia speaks of may be well founded.

Speaking of Diaz, the irony of him going out in a blaze of glory did not go unnoticed.  It was a fire that created the Dragon and it was a fire that destroyed him.  Is this the new version of ashes to ashes?

Is it me or are Mia and Connor about to have a very pointed conversation about trust and lies?

Dante said Bell was one of the many installed at A.R.G.U.S.  Do it detect a whiff of Hydra?

If Diggle takes the fall for Lyla, can he still work with Team Arrow at the SCPD?

Quotes:

Rene: “Listen, I’m not trying to get in the middle of any family drama.” Oliver: “Too late.”

Diggle: “You’re supposed to be training.  Not trying to kill each other.” Cupid: “Aww.  Why you got to ruin all the fun.”

William: “So where do we start?” Mia: “Yeah. I’m not looking for any kind of family reunion here, bro.” William: “Oh, I am sorry Sis. But I have come too far to get sidelined now.”

China White: “So our first mission is a meeting.  That is way below our pay grade.” Cupid: “Wait, we’re getting paid?”

Laurel: “Trust me.  I would be thrilled to see his head explode, but is it really worth the consequences?" Felicity: “Yes it is worth every consequence. I have to protect my family.” Laurel: “By family you mean you, Oliver, and your baby?” Felicity: “What, are you psychic now?”

Mia: “You guys are just junkies looking for a hero fix.”

Diaz: “Once Dante figures this all out, and he will, you all will be wishing for the mercy of a quick death.”

Laurel: (to Felicity) “I don’t know if you noticed but you’re kind of a badass.”

Oliver: “There’s a right way and a wrong way to do this.” Emiko: “The only thing I’ve done wrong, is to think that I could ever trust you.“

Felicity: “I thought Dante was the objective.” Diggle: “He is the objective.  Just not the priority.”

Emiko: “I didn’t realize Oliver Queen did apologies.”

Shari loves sci-fi, fantasy, supernatural, and anything with a cape.

[the-sultan-of-strange]

So! Tonight I had the most intensely terrifying night of probably my entire life. :)

Because, see, today is the first day of the spring semester so I went to bed completely pent up and unable to sleep. I kept tossing and turning around in bed for hours, trying my hardest to fall asleep but unable to because my mind was too noisy.

So at one point, about two hours before I have to wake up, I decide "fuck it" and reach for my phone to dick around on Tumblr until I have to wake up. And I'm already feeling awful about not sleeping any tonight because I really need my sleep and I always start feeling like I failed at life if I miss a night of sleep, but then it starts becoming more and more evident that something is off.

First off, total fucking silence, no trains in the distance, no barking dogs, nothing, only my breathing, the shuffling of the bedsheets and the occasional voices coming from my phone that I definitely did not tell it to produce. The voices are female, and sound like they're quietly speaking in a choir, in a drawn-out chanty way.

At this point I'm still in denial, so I just quietly wait and pray until they go away and I hope it was just a video I forgot to mute.

Also, I'm having this clawing feeling in the back of my head that I'm completely alone.

See, I live with my mom, stepdad and my maternal grandparents in the house, it's dead middle of the darkest night I've ever experienced, and there I am absolutely convinced that there's nobody else in the house than me, the darkness and the voices from my phone. And my brain comes to the conclusion that since they obviously wouldn't just go out in the middle of a dark winter night, that leaves that either something quietly took them or they never existed in the first place.

This of course prompts more denial so I dive right back into Tumblr, more voices, more waiting for it to be over, more scrolling further and further in a dashboard that becomes increasingly repetitive as it goes on, with the same ominous phrase popping up in the captions under seemingly unrelated posts. Sometimes in text, sometimes said by the voices. I don't remember what  the phrase was, but it disturbed me to a point where I was ready to start screaming at nothing out of sheer anxiety.

At this point almost my entire dash is composed of nothing but one post repeating ad infinitum. It's an image that looks like it was taken with a forest trail cam at night. It's a group of women or girls, wearing short-sleeved nurse scrubs and surgical masks. Their hair is done up in identical hairdos, kind of like bobcuts but slicked back and stretching out to the back. I don't remember their faces. I'm not sure they had faces.

Each iteration of the post is this one single photo, captioned with the phrase. Sometimes there are voices, sometimes there aren't. Occasionally I come across a post that isn't this one post, so I keep scrolling in hopes that I find more normal posts. I do, but there's always more of the one post. The more I scroll the worse it becomes. At one point I put on my headphones and try to listen to some music, but it's drowned out by some sort of garbled noise that feels like the worst thing I have ever heard.

Eventually it gets so bad I'm reduced to just lying on the bed and staring into the darkness while my phone talks in voices (somehow my eyes couldn't get used to the darkness like usually, it was all pitch black aside from the part of my bed lit up by the phone screen). I feel like I'm inches away from snapping and starting to scream.

Then the voices slowly die down, and then a few seconds or minutes later (I'm not even sure anymore) I'm scared to death by an extremely loud male voice going "HEY DUDE" from the phone.

I pick up the phone and look at the screen. It's a Hangouts video chat, somehow, even though it didn't ring, it just kinda started on its own. The voice is one of my internet friends’ (let’s call him M), which is odd since I have never heard his voice but I immediately recognize it as his voice. The face is also M's, which is even odder since I have seen his face and that's definitely not his face. These are all things I realized later since at that moment I was so overjoyed at having someone talk to that I didn't think about 1. how did this person start talking to me without ringing my phone, 2. how is he M when he looks nothing like him and 3. how did I recognize a voice I've never heard before.

Thinking about it later, the only similarity between M's face and the one on my screen was that both are black. M is a black guy, and so is the man staring at me from my phone screen. But looking at his image for a little bit, I noticed that his skin wasn’t right. It was way too shiny. Like, oil slick shiny. Sure, he had the facial structure of a black person, but his skin looked like someone methodically smeared an even layer of tar over it to make it look black. It was like his face was real, but his skin was not.

By the time I assessed his face from closer up, I have processed that the person I’m talking to is not, in fact, my internet friend M. And at this point it clicks in me that this is not all random. There’s a system to it. There’s a logic to it. The image of the weird nurses, the female choir of voices, the anxiety-inducing unknown sentence, and not-M cheerfully saying hello to me with his tar-textured false face. There is some sort of logic holding these things together, though I cannot for the life of me figure out what kind of logic.

And I get the vague conviction that this logic belongs to something. Something that is observing me.

Anyway, my conversation with not-M lasted only a few seconds, and consisted only of three sentences, but it was minutes for me. I took it surprisingly casually, probably because my brain decided to ignore how fake and wrong everything about this situation was because finally talking to an apparent human person trumped that. Maybe it was that. It’s also possible that I was simply too deep into denial to care anymore.

So talk we do.

He asks "hey man, what are you doing", and I reply "nothing much". Then I remember I have to wake up in 1-2 hours depending on how much time (if any) actually passed since I turned on my phone, so I add: "But you know, I should be in bed right now."

And in the exact moment I spoke those words, my morning alarm went off.

I was lying in bed, it was morning and my phone was lying right next to me on the pillow, exactly where I picked it up from to go on Tumblr.

As it turns out, I dreamt the whole fucking thing from the moment I "turned on" my phone. My asshole brain just simply didn't feel the need to notify me that I had, in fact, fallen asleep, and instead chose to project me into a dark and uncanny knockoff of my bedroom which then proceeded to methodically break down into a surreal unreality around me, while I believed it to be the real, waking world all the while. No shrieking nightmare monster can compare to the sheer horror and anxiety of a world that is just a little bit not right.

Moral of the story: liminal spaces ain't your fucking friend. I tried it out tonight, and I think I had an encounter with a Lovecraftian psychological parasite created by my own brain that feeds on uncomfortableness, anxiety and fear.

Oh and also, in case you forgot, the two hours spent in this surreal psychological horrorscape were the only two hours I’ve slept tonight. Funtimes. :)

[boztradamus]

It doesn’t feel like it was all that long ago that I made the decision to go back to school and pursue my master’s. And yet, here I am, writing up my final assignment before heading to Orlando to graduate. These past 12 months have taught me a lot, not only about the art of design, but about myself and what my creative strengths are.

Mastery was a great way to get back into the mindset of being a student as making the decision to go back to school already seemed like an accomplishment. When I received my bachelor’s back in 2010, I had no intention of ever stepping foot inside another classroom. While technically I still haven’t set foot inside a classroom, the research and discussion posts helped me feel comfortable as a student again. Also, the turning point video was also a great way to flex my video editing muscles that I’d been using less and less often recently.

Defining client needs was an interesting class for me because it forced me to rethink what my creative process was. My process before this class had a very “strike while iron is hot” style, acting on whatever inspiration came to me with little forethought or planning. I was now forced to do more in depth research, using mind maps and preliminary sketches to cultivate ideas. This sudden revamp of my process proved valuable throughout the program right up to designing my thesis presentation.

Brand development finally (FINALLY) let me jump back into the programs I was comfortable in and create vector logos of the sketches I’d produced last class. As mentioned, with my attitude always being to jump in, that also meant designing in full color. This class required designing in black and white first, which made me realize that some of my ideas that seemed great in full color, didn’t work in solid black. This was a valuable lesson to learn as it forced me to rethink ideas I had throughout the program, and any ideas I have in the future as a designer.

Effective copywriting was where I felt like I really started to hit my stride in the program since I felt comfortable both with writing, as well as with designing print ads, which, to me at least, didn’t feel all that different from the posters and flyers I’d designed in the past. This newfound confidence led to some of the work I am most proud of that I produced during the MDMFA program. I was so proud and satisfied with the work that the testimonial print ads were the only project I didn’t revisit or revise when I had the opportunity revise past projects. Besides some of my best work, something else that came out of this class was the importance of looking for inspiration in everything. I remember looking at a lot of ads and headlines during this class that served as inspiration, not only in this class, but in classes to come. Saving and making note of anything that inspired my creativity is something I will probably do for the rest of my life after this class.

Design research provided me with my first taste of web design, something I’d been interested in for a long time. To make it even better, I was designing a website for a benefit concert. Being given the choice of what genre the music would be, I naturally chose my favorite style of music, heavy metal. I will never forget the extended silence that followed after Professor Argo showed my moodboards during the go-to session, which featured denim, patches, metal studs, and the image of a sea turtle in a pentagram. However, I can proudly say that a number of people that admitted to not being a fan of metal music appreciated the final design of my website. It seems that good design is good design, and I was proud to have accomplished that in spite of some of the audiences’ lack of interest in what the design was selling.

The design gods must have smiled down on me because organization structures allowed me to revisit the skill I had developed the most during undergrad, that being video editing. The first step was to design a motion graphic of a logo for the concert I’d already designed a website for. The confidence and comfort I was feeling at this point in the program allowed me to use my new-found process of research and sketching and cultivating a large number of ideas to create a logo that, a few months earlier, I wouldn’t have developed without embracing this new process. After designing the logo, it was time to jump back into After Effects and make it move before then including it in a 30 second promotional video for the concert. I was most excited to include original music I’d written in a video that the purpose was to excite and engage the audience.

Design strategies and motivation was my first opportunity to revisit and revise past projects. Having felt that my Reykjavik logos from brand development was my weakest work, that was the first project I revisited. Having spent six months improving my skills and process, I was able to see the shortcomings of my original work and create the best possible logos I could. I am proud of the new logos I designed that more clearly represent the idea I intended them to and also learned how important and beneficial continued iteration is to the design process.

Design integration is where I turned my attention back to the benefit concert work I’d done. While I liked the look of the fonts I’d used in the promotional video, they proved hard to read at the high speeds they move in the video. This forced me to reconsider most font choices and is something I’ve tried to be more conscious of going forward. Having finalized the font choices in the video, these same font changes were made to the design of the website, creating a far more readable website while still using fonts that reflect the brand.

Having finalized the design of the website, multi-platform delivery provided me the opportunity to actually build the website. I got my first taste using programs like Muse and XD as I created working versions of the desktop and mobile website. Having been interested in web design for a long time, creating these working websites was deeply satisfying and I am proud of the work I produced. The other half of the class I focused on my behance portfolio, making it look more professional. Learning to design a portfolio in a way that tells the creative story while showing off my best work is extremely valuable and proved very useful when designing my thesis presentation.

While receiving feedback from instructors and peers is always going to be useful, measuring design effectiveness was the first opportunity to see what the public thinks of my work. I was satisfied with the feedback I received from my survey. However, the feedback also showed me that there were better questions I could’ve asked and questions I could’ve omitted. This information will help in the future when I ask for feedback on work that I do, particularly if that feedback is to be in the form of a survey.

Presentation of design solution was the class this whole journey was leading to. This was where I designed my thesis presentation to prove that I indeed had the skills and knowledge to be considered a master. This class taught me the importance of clear writing when it comes to explaining my own work, which I only briefly touched on when revising my behance portfolio. While it’s great that I can design the work, clients will want to know the process of how the work was created. As mentioned, when my process was simply to create on a whim what I was inspired to create, I’ve learned how to improve my process to include a few more steps and I’ve also learned how to verbalize and rationalize the parts of the process that for me feel like nothing more than inspiration and instinct.

Professional practice is the last bridge to cross before graduation and being considered a master of media design. This class has taught me some of the ethical issues that can arise in the design industry and also how to protect yourself and your work. These are lessons that will obviously help throughout my career as a designer.

This class is also where I designed the experience map that is featured at the top. This was yet another lesson in verbalizing what happens internally, in this case, what I was feeling throughout the MDMFA program. With the project calling for a map, I was immediately inspired to create a treasure map considering my love of the western The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly which features the main characters searching for a buried treasure. I’m proud of how the experience map came out and feel that it shows how I felt as I went through the MDMFA program.

Being that this is my last assignment, I want to end this on something more than just the end of the assignment. I’m quite proud of all that I’ve accomplished these past 12 months and feel the need to say something profound that wraps up what I’m feeling. I’ve been inspired by a great many quotes from different types of people from different backgrounds. But I think the words that matter most are the immortal words of Bill S. Preston, ESQ and Ted Theodore Logan: Be excellent to each other, and part on dudes!

[technewss15-blog]

The Disgruntled Life Of A GM: An Ongoing NBA 2K18 Adventure

Here’s something you haven’t heard before: I played NBA 2K14 for the story. Seriously. I’ll even double down on my ludicrous statement by saying it offered more twists and turns than Mass Effect. If memory serves me correctly, my ball hog of a player was traded four times in a season. He didn’t play defense. He refused to pass the ball. He fired his best friend as his agent. He picked fights during practice. He wore a tiger-skin suit. He talked trash in all of his post-game press conferences. Fans voiced their displeasure in his playing style on Twitter. He lost most of the games he played in because he didn’t care.

I absolutely adored watching his career unfold. If you want to witness one of video games’ craziest stories, check out my blog that chronicles his antics, or pick up NBA 2K14 for cheap, and select the evil option whenever possible. When NBA 2K15 rolled around, I was counting the days until I had the chance to create another miserable human being, but I was told that the game didn’t have the same type of good or evil choices, and the story didn’t hit as hard. The same sentiments were echoed for NBA 2K16 and 17. I figured this year’s iteration of the game would again refrain from making a player look like an absolute monster, and I was right…kind of. NBA 2K18’s MyPlayer mode may not offer a wide variety of player-driven choices, but narrative intrigue supposedly resides in the game’s new MyGM mode.

Thus begins a chronicle of money squandering and unnecessary firings. With Andrew Reiner standing in as the new general manager of the Minnesota Timberwolves, chaos will hopefully ensue. This is his journey:

Day One: After creating a strange facial hair-free version of Andrew Reiner (in the Nintendo Switch version), I learn of my first target: Eddie Chase, the owner of the Minnesota Timberwolves. His bio makes him sound like a real pushover: “Mr. Chase is known to be a patient individual who does not have any strong feelings or needs one way or the other. He doesn’t require much of a profit nor does he expect a perennial winner. It’s widely understood that the Timberwolves position is a great entry-level position for would-be GMs.”

He doesn’t need a perennial winner or profit. I will make sure he gets neither of these things.

Six Years Ago The game then flashes back to show Reiner as a player for the Dallas Mavericks. He isn’t on the floor dunking over fools, however; he’s lying down on a medical table, holding his right knee.

“My knee – I can’t bend it. Something is… not right here. I’ve never felt this… this level of pain,” Reiner says.

The team trainer says an MRI is coming back soon, and that I should try to relax. Reiner has no idea how this could happen to him – during the playoffs of all times. As he writhes in pain, he brags about scoring 30 points in the game. The trainer corrects him and says he actually scored 36 points. Reiner once again sounds like a ball hog, and I had no control over it. Wonderful!

A doctor enters the room and tells me I suffered a full tear of the anterior cruciate ligament, as well as partial tears of the posterior cruciate ligament and collateral cruciate ligament. Doc says it’s unusual to have tears to these ligaments in the same knee, simultaneously. The collateral cruciate ligament damage is usually only seen after a direct blow to the inside of the knee. Weird. I’d love to see the play that destroyed my knee to this degree.

Back to the Present After learning that my playing career ended at that moment, I now see I am a snazzily dressed guy, with an expensive suit and what appears to be an iPhone 6. I’m on the phone with Eddie Chase. I tell him I am running late for our meeting – a great start for a GM who is ultimately here to destroy the Timberwolves’ organization from the inside. This is my first day on the job. I just have to make sure I am on location for a scheduled press conference at 2 p.m. to introduce me as the new face of the team.

When I arrive at the Timberwolves’ headquarters, Karl-Anthony Towns approaches me in the parking lot. He is quick to compliment my skills as a basketball player, and is eager to work with me. He’s kissing up. He will definitely get a raise.

Another figure then emerges from the shadows. It’s coach Tom Thibodeau, and he looks like a real a-hole. I am totally going to fire him today. Just as this plan formulates in my mind, he asks me about staffing, and I am quick to say that I haven’t thought about it yet. I counter by saying we are just in the get-to-know each other phase right now. He’s totally fired. I hate him.

Towns then makes a critical error: He sucks up to coach and says that he’s here for the players. I may have to trade Towns today. They are disgusting together. I can’t have this kind of camaraderie on my team. A question jumps into my mind: Why are they in the parking lot together? I’m convinced they are into hardcore drugs. They both have to go.

Small Talk I’m called into Chase’s office to talk about my job. He tries to talk to me about world-famous chai latte spice scones, but uses this moment to brag about making an app or something dumb.

We eventually get around to talking about basketball, and he makes the mistake of bringing up the game that ended my career. He then says “You don’t lose. I don’t lose. The fans here, they are hungry for success. The media, they are hungry for success. Every Timberwolves fan wants to read one of their columns about how great the team is. When the wins stop coming, the media starts looking for cracks. Cracks that they can exploit for stories. For clicks, whatever it is they strive for.” Did he almost call media fake news? Regardless of what they hell he is saying here, he is going to lose big by making me GM, and the media will find cracks everywhere, hopefully within days.

He tells me to be honest and open to the media, encouraging me to say what is on my mind. I plan on it. I want this chai latte jerk to know he made a mistake in hiring me, as he’s introducing me to the world. That would be delicious.

The Press Conference A reporter asks me what my plans are out of the gate. My choices are “total rebuild,” “minor tweaks needed,” and “I love where we are at.” My gut says to go with total rebuild, as the Timberwolves are clearly a playoff team on the hunt this year, and this action should make Mr. Chase swallow hard. I could also lie and say that I like how things look, but I have a feeling the game won’t read this as a fib. I select “total rebuild.”

I say not everyone will see it this way, but “I’m looking at this as a situation where we have to strip down the roster, pare it down to a core number of guys, then build it back up. From scratch, basically.” They are probably thinking I keep Towns. Nope. He’s the first to go when I get the power.

I tell the press we have a nice plan in place for getting the team where it needs to go, starting with the draft. “You can’t swing and miss there if you’re trying to build from the ground up.” I plan on selecting the slowest and least-talented player possible. He will make the most money in the league too.

I also detail plans for free agency; another well of despair that I will soon inflict upon this fan base.

When asked for the coach, I try to make out a smile, but this action makes me look like a demon. Perfect. The loser is sitting right next to me.

I’m given the options of “Confident in Head Coach,” “Need time to evaluate,” and “It’s time to move on.” You know what I selected. I’m disappointed with how I let this information out there. “First of all, I just want to say that I have nothing but respect for Tom Thibodeau. He’s a good coach and a good man. But at this time I feel it’s in the best interest of the franchise to go in a different direction. You’ll be hearing more about that as the process moves along, but right now that’s all I have to say about it.” At least I dropped a bomb on him. He didn’t see it coming.

The Next Day Thibodeau is becoming unhinged. He enters my office and drops the lamest insult possible: “Get a grip!” Whatever, man.

He then says something surprising, almost reading like a threat. “One day you’ll wake up and it’ll be just like any other day. You’ll go about your business. Maybe have a nice dinner with your wife. Then out of nowhere you’re going to be broadsided just like I was. BOOM. Just like that. And it’ll be you out on the street. It’ll be you looking like an idiot.” I’m impressed with the anger he is showing, and debate keeping him on as a “Sith Lord in training” for a brief second, but his dumb face is just too dumb for me to look at any longer. I’m hoping I can call security.

I didn’t have to. He leaves, and in enters Ed Pinckney, the assistant coach. He tells me he understands my desire for fresh blood, but says he’s been with the organization for a long time. “I know the maniacs who jump around shooting t-shirts into the crowd. I know their names. I know their families’ names. I know their birthdays and what kind of peanut butter they like. I know their comfort zones, I know their fears, and I know exactly what buttons to push.” Whoa. This guy is nuts.

He says he’s paid his dues, but I couldn’t care less. See you, Ed. Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.

I insult him in saying I need someone who has done it longer. He says he was hoping to become the head coach of the Timberwolves today. My firing of him has to come as a huge blow. Excellent.

I am then called into Chase’s office. He says he trusts me, but is already concerned with my actions. “This change comes as a bit of a surprise,” he adds. “I haven’t liked surprises for a long time, Andrew. A long time.”

Dude is clearly not liking me right now. I will have to waste his money quickly, as I fear my time here won’t last long. He then drifts off into his childhood for some reason, and paints himself as a real mess of a person in the process.

I have no idea what he was just trying to communicate other than establish I would never want to have him as a friend or family member. He continues to ramble. “Nothing to be done now, of course. That’s all in the past. But let’s make sure we take full advantage of this opportunity. We call it a pivot in the business world. You start off one way, but that way doesn’t work, so you try something else. You figure out what advantage you’ve got and you pivot. Then you milk every last drop out of that advantage. You wring that bad boy out till it’s bone dry.”

Holy crap, I hate this man. I hate how he talks, thinks, and looks. I inform him I have a specific coach in mind (which I don’t). I then see a screen that looks like a mess of work. A mess I will half-ass my way through.

I have no idea what I’m doing, and that’s okay. My first order of business is to rework my team’s schedule as best I can. I remove every single practice from the season schedule and replace them with rest days. Tons of rest days for everyone. This should lead to a lack of chemistry on the floor – a crippling blow to the team.

I also find the staff page and immediately begin firing everyone…harshly!

I tell my CFO that “I’m pretty sure my cat could’ve done a better job than you! Pack up your things and get outta here!” Bwahahaha! Told him! This action lowered my team morale by one point, and my trust with Nicolas Brown (who I just fired) by 56 points.

I then fire my assistant manager saying “You have been the worst sidekick in the history of sidekicks. You make the Scarecrow look like a superhero.” Whoa. A Batman reference! Love it! This firing not only lowered my team morale by five points, it also delivered one of the worst comebacks ever.

My joy may turn to dust in my mouth. That’s your response? Really? Since I don’t have a head coach or an assistant coach, I just have the head scout and trainer to fire. I’m somewhat civil with the head scout, telling him “We’re changing things around here and you’re not a part of our plans going forward. So, if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and get out, that would be terrific. Okay?” He responds brilliantly.

“Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler.”

I should have kept him. The team didn’t seem to care that much for him, however, with just one point in morale dropping. I tell the trainer “You’ve been canned like spam!” I regret that one, folks. My A.I.-driven dude has been pretty cool up to this line, but I can’t back that one up. The trainer rightfully threatens me.

“Tread lightly…”

Losing him results in another huge drop of five morale with the team. I now have no staff around me. We are free-falling and the season hasn’t even started. The game alerts me of the openings with a notice of “If you choose to automatically fill all vacancies, they will be filled by minimum wage coaches. Remember that the few least skilled staff free agents will always sign with you, independent of contract length and wage.”

“Minimum wage coaches” is music to my ears. Why not, right? I could always fire them if they start putting something meaningful together.

  And that’s going to conclude the first entry of this ongoing saga. I’ll be back soon with another huge update showing what happens when the season begins…

The Disgruntled Life Of A GM: An Ongoing NBA 2K18 Adventure was originally published on Tech News Center Generation