#like dude his mum was dragging him cause he didn’t want to kill innocent people

[lovesomehate]

Ok, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Travis already shows signs of his internal conflict (doing the right things VS protecting his family) right when he saves Laura and Max at the beginning. Both could've died but Travis went there and shot his own brother to save them (doing the right thing). And then he imprisoned them, protecting his family secret. That poor man is split in two right at the start.

The duality of men 😂😂

He really needed someone to come and save him from this situation cause he was definitely at the end of his rope the poor guy 👀

Like literally if you don’t shoot him, Laura can massacre his whole ass family and he won’t hurt a hair on her head (even while she chews on his arm)

🗣 let Travis rest!

[eyeslikefoxglove]

Episode 10 - Tywin Lannister called, he wants the Rains of Castamere back & once again, Foxglove cheers when someone gets shanked

Hiiiii! Welcome to episode 10 commentary! I’m doing this one right after episode 9 because for once in my life I started on this early enough in the day I can get more than one single episode in. Hope you enjoy!

Before I descend into several “wtf is wrong with this guy” rants, let me point a funny to y’all. The corpse that WWX checks for pupillary changes is not only breathing, you can see his carotid pulse jumping on his neck.

Ok done.

WHAT THE FUCK THAT’S A LITTLE GIRL WHAT THE FUCK.

Fuck this creeper oh my god. I know he’s supposed to have a tragic past and be cute and charismatic but I just want to shush him every time he opens his mouth.

(XXC truly looks like an elven prince doesn’t he)

Aaaaaand WWX gives zero fucks about your dramatic exit stage right.

He also gives zero fucks about the fight to the death happening right in front of him, I mean, why would he when he can flirt with LWJ instead?

Speaking of said fight, I really hope they sped up the footage of them spinning through the air, because if whatever machine and harnesses they used truly spun them so fast I feel for the actors/body doubles.

Hey XXC that’s your boyfriend right there!

Today is really not XY’s day is it.

(That disgusted face WWX makes is pretty much a visual representation of what I feel when XY tries to be cute. Seriously)

SHUT UP XY MY BOY IS HAVING A FANBOY MOMENT.

I can’t believe I’m saying this but he’s got a point. Not in this case, because these five are actually good people but the rich and powerful are indeed a bunch of hypocrites. *Softly plays Eat the Rich*

LWJ is a hairsbreadth away from slapping XY out of his faux-innocent act and I can’t say I fault him tbh. And WWX is fucking smug because he is the king of being a little shit and this amateur got nothing on him.

Is Zhu Zanjin wearing eyeliner or are his eyelashes actually that incredible?

I’m making pained noises because I keep wondering what would’ve happened if WWX had asked XXC for help after people mounted a witch hunt against him and why do I keep doing this to myself?

WWX: *talks about his boyfriend*

JC: *eyeroll*

Oh my god this bit is so painful. You can see how starved WWX is about finding the smallest connection with his mum and my soul hurts.

And LWJ’s face watching them go. He’s probably just realised this was a dream you could have, and there it is, walking away. I’m gonna go make myself some tea and eat some cake or something, I deserve it after all this emotional turmoil.

(Aaaaaaand there goes XY being a fucking creep again)

LOOK AT MY TWO LIL CUPCAKES BEING FUCKING ADORABLE WHEN THEY GET PRAISED. LOOK AT THEM.

We’ve already established that I have the survival instincts of a concussed lemming but NMJ is a dude I want to get into a shouting match with. I don’t dislike him or anything and he’s badass, but watching this is obvious a five year old with an attitude can push his buttons. And he’s both a political leader and has a whole baby brother to take care off, you can’t allow yourself to get so angry you contemplate murder in your living room my dude. Furthermore, I know his way of cultivation makes him even more unstable and prone to Qi deviation; but instead of finding a way to work around that this idiot is ok with dying young and leaving everyone who loves him fucking devastated. Because why? It’s the way of his clan? It’s traditional? It’s honourable? Fuck that, no wonder NHS dislikes sword fighting so much if that’s going to eventually kill his big brother.

NMJ: I am a just and frank man, I fear nothing in presence of sinners like you.

Me, with a megaphone: HUBRIS IS A BITCH

The One Braincell Trio being MY fanboys gives me life *insert another million canon-divergences in which they befriend MY and everything is less Lannister red as a result*

THIS ASSHOLE IS2G SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING LIKE THAT ABOUT MY MUM AND NO ONE WILL FIND THE BODY.

Ok, NMJ called Lan Yi “the great talented leader of the Lan”, I want to pick a less violent fight with him now.

Wei “let me be damn sexy while drinking” Wuxian back at it again.

WUJI IS ON! MOONLIGHT! ROOFTOPS!

WWX: Lan Zhan I’ll sleep on your roof tonight

LWJ: Wei Ying I have to go

WWX: Lan Zhan I’ll sleep on your roof tonight

LWJ: Wei Ying, there’s room in my bed if we snuggle.

There, I fixed it. (Here I come again, joking to hide the pain. Parting is such sweet sorrow and all that)

... oh hey I’d never noticed how big Wang YiBo’s hands are and now I’m in trouble. Which is funny, cause LWJ is v much not my type, but Wang YiBo apparently is now? I mean, I’ve reblogged stuff about him because he’s ridiculously beautiful but...

*falls down a google images rabbit hole*

...

Yeah I can safely say I’m into Wang YiBo’s badboy-prettyboy-coolboy-gremlinboy attitude.

Anyway back to the show:

That was a fucking great sword throw and I love the little smirk MY’s wearing.

... what did I just see?

I don’t know how to describe it, but when WZL sticks the tip of his sword into the flat of NMJ’s sabre and drives him back and you see then go through the frame in front of WC? That’s like the most ridiculous anthropomorphic version of a train dragging a car along the tracks. All that’s missing is the “nyooooom” sound.

Speaking of WZL that’s one coolheaded dude.

Ok, I’m going to go down a Meng Yao rabbit hole again. Brace yoselves.

At risk of sounding like NHS I really don’t know why MY would’ve set XY free. I mean, if he gets XY and the Yin Iron back to WRH he’s got the chief cultivator’s favour... but everyone and their mum wants WRH out of the scene, including as far as he knows Daddy Dearest. He’s clever enough to realise there’s going to be a war, so he might’ve though that if he put himself up as a spy this soon it would’ve benefited the, yet nonexistent, SunShot Campaign. In the book he also murders his bully of a superior right before “defecting” and becoming a spy, and much like in here, NMJ catches him and stabbing happens. Do I think he, like the Jins, was playing both sides during the war? Yeah, but in this instance if I were him I wouldn’t trust in the benevolence of a man who makes puppets out humans for funsies, especially seeing how much he gets bullied.

Now if we go the other direction, of wrong place wrong time, MY doesn’t seem displeased with the Nies. I mean, NMJ and NHS like and respect him as far we’ve seen, NMJ even follows his advise. Why would he want to risk his fucking neck against NMJ just to get a potential in (that again depends on WRH liking him) to spy in a potential war? Call me a hufflepuff, but I’d stay put. Right before NMJ finds MY murdering someone we hear the voice of he asshole captain who loves to mess with MY, same captain that wasn’t present when confronting WC and that was really fucking drunk last night. I’m not saying this man works for the Wens, but hangovers make you sluggish and tired, who’s to say XY didn’t actually break tf out if this yahoo was the one guarding him (back again to the bit when MY asked the captain to post extra guards and the captain told him where to stick it, we don’t know if he actually doubled the guard) and MY walked in on it. Now this asshole has the perfect scapegoat! The *insert his preferred MY slur* did it! He saw it! And MY either panics or snaps and gets stabby.

Listen, it’s murder either way, and I won’t pretend MY doesn’t have a whole alphabet of plans for every situation, but damn I cheered.

Shut the fuck up WC.

My one track mind is shrieking because MY has a stab wound in his chest and he’s just... chilling? (Like a villain lol)

Did y’all see the fan smacking the hand bit? Now that I’ve seen the whole thing is evident, but that’s pretty much the same exact show as at the beginning with the “mysterious man”. Ooooohhhh I love the hints!

HOLY FUCK NMJ IS CRYING (my 3zun ship is sailing y’all can’t stop me).

Speaking of 3zun if y’all could point me to nice fics where everything doesn’t go up in flames for these three idiots I’d appreciate it.

And that’s all for this episode. Thanks for reading.

[that-curly-haired-lesbian]

Birthday Prompt - Curious Taylor

Today is a very special day, Taylor Swift turns 30!! To celebrate I decided to take some tumblr prompts and write some gay short stories with a birthday theme!

Happy birthday, Taylor (hope you never read these!)

Prompt: Five times Karlie fails to properly hide/lie about Taylor's birthday present and one time she didn't fail.

Thank you for the prompt @verytamenow

Read it on Ao3 or on Wattpad

It's not that Karlie is bad at keeping secrets exactly, it's more that Taylor is an extremely curious person...And okay, maybe Karlie isn't the best secret keeper, but that honestly is only half the problem, the other half being Taylor's complete inability to resist a challenge, implied or actively discouraged, doesn't matter.

If there is a case detective Swift is on it and she knows exactly how to crack her suspects, especially if said suspect happens to be her poor wife.

--

The first time Karlie failed to properly hide Taylor's birthday present she genuinely thought she'd be able to keep the secret, she thought she had a good plan and a good hiding spot.

That was until Taylor decided to "Christmas clean" their whole place (on December 10th!)

In her almost feverish quest to get the apartment clean from top to bottom she promptly found the one-of a-kind collector's edition Deadpool Omnibus mixed in with Karlie's Cat Woman comics at the very back of the highest shelf (the one Taylor couldn't even reach without a chair) of the bookcase in the living room.

Karlie came home to find it triumphantly placed on the kitchen table accompanied by a post-it note.

I fucking love you ❤️

She promptly re-hid it, swearing under her breath and reminding herself to tell Taylor that she fucking loves her back.

Taylor still had the decency to act surprised at the birthday party, Karlie loved her for that.

--

The second time Karlie failed to properly hide Taylor's birthday present it was all Karlie's fault.

Taylor had gone to get the mail and came back waving a postcard only to find Karlie wrapping her birthday gift in plain sight on their bedroom floor.

Karlie (furiously blushing and muttering under her breath) attempted to shove the gift (wrapping and all) under their bed and hastily stood up to greet her wife.

"Hey, what's that?" She asked way too quickly and snatched the postcard out of Taylor's hand.

"It-it's from Austin in the Maldives...What...Were you doing?" There was a glint in her eye telling Karlie she knew the answer to her own question very well.

And yet you had to ask you smug, adorable little shit.

"Just, just wrapping...Joe's Christmas present!" Karlie said and for a second she thought she may have saved the situation, until Taylor squealed with delighted laughter.

"Aww, what are we getting the little dude this year?" Before Karlie could stop her Taylor has bent down and dragged the present out from under the bed by the wrapping paper, when she stood there holding the little cheesy book of love poems meant to be part of her gift that year Karlie had the nerve to mumble, in a defeated, tired sort of tone, "Dentastix..."

And at that point she really only had herself to blame.

--

The third time Karlie failed to properly hide Taylor's birthday present Karlie had resorted to hiding Taylor's gift at other people's places and Andrea had promised to keep mum, only she couldn't stop Scott.

They were sitting around the Swifts kitchen table eating dinner on a Sunday in December when Karlie's father-in-law suddenly spoke.

"So, - excluding a new Polaroid camera, of course – what would you like for your birthday, Taylor" His daughter never having been one to miss (blatantly stated) details blinked a few times in disbelief and then very slowly said, "wait, why are we excluding a new camera?" Andrea and Karlie had both frozen mid-bite and Scott looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him.

"Well," He started, bravely soldering on, "I thought maybe-You, I mean-"

Just like that she turned to Karlie, grinning. "Baby?"

Karlie shook her head almost violently, "Nope!" She exclaimed, but the singer had her poor father in her sights now, "Dad, did Karlie-"

"Holy shit, I am so sorry, my big mouth, huh!" Scott started and Karlie could do nothing but laugh. "It's alright," She reassured, "it's impossible to keep secrets from this one anyhow."

"Don't we know it!"

Thanks, Chatsy

--

The fourth time Karlie failed to properly hide Taylor's birthday present curiosity almost literally killed the cat, or more accurately, the owner of the cat.

Karlie had hidden Taylor's birthday present on top of a cabinet in the living room one even she couldn't properly reach without a chair. Thus there was no way Taylor would even happen to see it until she got a frantic phone call from the singer. Frowning at her phone (Taylor usually never called when she knew Karlie was in a meeting) Karlie excused herself to the room full of Kode With Klossy investors and stepped outside.

"Hey Daisy, I'm a little busy, can I call you back in-?"

"Karlie," the voice on the other end said and she sounded panicked, even close to sobbing.

"Karlie, I can't get Benji down, I'm not even sure how he-"Taylor's story was rudely interrupted by a loud thud that for some reason caused her to shriek deafeningly loud right in her wife's ear.

"Taylor!" Karlie shirked back, alarmed now, "Tay, what happened, are you guys okay?"

"Benjamin, he somehow got on top of the cabinet in the living room, I have no idea how...anyway he pushed something down from there and it almost hit me...I'm sorry babe, I think maybe I'm going to need a new birthday present, this one appears to have shattered into a million pieces in my hair..."

"Shit!" Karlie mumbles, letting out the tiniest sigh, but keeping all traces of disappointment over the ruined gift from her voice and focusing on the problem at hand. "Are you okay? Have you tried getting on a chair and lifting Ben down?"

"I-I would, but now there's red stains and glass all over the floor...And me..."

"Sorry!"

"That's okay, thanks for the wine!"

--

The fifth time Karlie failed to properly hide Taylor's birthday present Karlie started to wonder if faith and the universe had seriously began conspiring against her?

It was the morning of Taylor's birthday and Karlie was stoked, this year she'd actually managed to hide the present all the way up until the actual day!

...Until Taylor innocently posted a picture on social media. It was a simple selfie of the two of them, ready for the night's party. It was cute, Taylor in a nice dress and classic red lip pressing a kiss to the cheek of a beaming Karlie. That was until the comments started flooding in.

Swiftie13: Hey @taylorswift13 ask @karliekloss what's on the dresser behind you lol

Annielovestaylor: I spy a birthday gift, nice wrapping @karliekloss #Relationshipgoals

Kaylortrash67: What the hell @karliekloss? You gotta hide @taylorswift13's present better!

Asdfghjing4kaylor: I hope that's a gift Taylor just forgot to open, that's not a very good hiding spot @karliekloss

Disaster was a fact and Karlie had no choice but to hand Taylor the present on live video where a slightly tipsy Taylor announced:

"She's the worst at keeping secrets and hiding gifts, but I love her so much, you guys!!"

--

The one time Karlie actually managed to properly hide Taylor's birthday present it came as a bit of a surprise to her too.

It was the morning of Taylor's 32nd birthday and Karlie had awoken before her wife to a churning feeling of discomfort in her stomach.

About three hours later she woke Taylor with a soft kiss.

"Hi," She whispered, "Happy birthday, baby!"

"Mmm, happy birthday to me!" Taylor mumbled sleepily and looked ready to turn back over and go to sleep, until Karlie spoke.

"Umm, I actually have a little surprise." Karlie revealed and suddenly wide awake Taylor sat up in bed.

"Oh, really?" She smirked and Karlie swallowed a little nervously. Picking up on this Taylor reached out and touched her wife's cheek in reassurance, "You look nervous," She observed, "why? You know I always love your presents!"

"Yeah, actually I love this one too!" Karlie reveled and attempted a shaky version of her trademark sunshine smile.

Taylor raised her eyebrows at this, "okay," she said slowly, "now you're freaking me out, spill!"

"Okay, well," Karlie nodded, "you're getting your actually prepared, wrapped present tonight at the party, but-"

"This one wasn't prepared?" Taylor interrupted curiously.

"In a way, this was actually even more prepared than the other one, I just, well, I wasn't sure I would be able to give it to you today specifically, but well..." Karlie put a stop to her own ramblings and took out what she'd had hidden behind her back ever since she sat down in front of Taylor on the bed.

A few second passed as Taylor stared from Karlie to what was in her hands and back again and then at the same time they both burst out crying...And laughing.

Taylor swallowed several times before she shrieked, in-between sobs and laughter, "Don't-don't touch me with your pee!" Karlie quickly threw the "present" to the floor and caught the incoming Taylor in her embrace as they rolled over on the bed in a pile of joy.

"We-We're going to be mommies!" Taylor all but yelled and pressed a few tear stained kisses to Karlie's own wet cheeks.

"We are!" The model exclaimed and held her wife close, "Happy birthday!"