#like don't get me wrong i love all the various links and i love to rotate them around but consider: npcs <3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dutifullyscreechingdragon · 5 months

Text

Blitzø x human! Assassin! Reader

Blooming feelings

Summary: After the first few murder fiascos, you and Blitzø start catching feelings for each other. His attempts on your life morph into dates and you can't take each other as seriously as you should on the battle ground.

A/n: heyyy, I'm sorry for the slightly belated posting. The last few days have been a bit haywire for me... Anyways, I hope you enjoy the part two. Here you have the links to all the parts currently available:

Part 1: First encounter

Part 2: Blooming feelings -> you're here:)

The smoke bomb went off, you could hear the shattering of glass and the revving of the motorbike. Y/n was gone.

"And she's gone..." Blitzø stated and was about to leave through the portal, when Moxxie pulled his sleeve:

"Sir, there's a card on the floor"

Blitzo picked it up, it was a note. In a neat handwriting the following was written:

Despite being sent to kill me

(and failing miserably),

you're chill

Call me:)

314 159 2653

Blitzø texted you this very evening. He wanted to do this instantly, but had to withhold himself - gotta preserve the reputation

You were getting ready to bed, today was a long day, right after the pleasant encounter with Blitzø, you had to rush off to deal with a murderer and then get your bike into repair. Oh and you also had to buy yourself new cargo pants, your current ones were getting a wee bit to bloodstained for your liking.

Today was a busy day. So only now, about to go to sleep, did you have time to actualy process what happened in the morning. That being you giving the attractive imp(?) your phone number... And, since he still didn't call or text you, you were staring to have second thoughts... Have you read too much into the whole thing? Was it strictly professional for him?

That's when your phone went off

Unknown: whadup, gurl

Cut the guy some slack, he was low-key nervous and was trying to come off as suave

Y/n: Blitzø?

Unknown: ya, who else wuld be txting u

Y/n: should I take offence?

Unknown: idk, do u find that offensive

Y/n: kinda?

Unknown: soz, I'll show u a picture of a horse I drew and you'll forgive me

Unknown: deal?

to be fair, Blitzø didn't know what he was writing. He had no intention of offending you and panicked, texting you the first thing that came into his mind. Thankfully, you found it amusing and texted him back:

Y/m: deal:)

He sent you a picture of a horse. You though it was really good, so that's what you texted him back. He was ecstatic and instantly sent you a few more.

Needless to say, that soon enough your gallery was filled with various drawings of horses.

In the span of the next week, you and Blitzø texted quite a lot.

He offered you a job at the IMP pretty early on:

Blitzø: ya know, when u end up in hell, a gal like you culd work for me

Y/n: why are you so sure I'd wanna work for you?

Blitzø: why wouldnt u?

Y/n: idk u trying to kill me is kind of a turn off...

Blitzø: ahhh come oooon it's not that big of a deal

Blitzø: ill take u horse riding or smth

Y/n: can't say no to that hahaha

After that reply, Blitzø got so hyped up, he literally ran out of his office and shouted:

"Fuck yeah she loves me back, ya hear that Mox," Blitz looked very much proud as he showed his employee the text chain

"Uhhh Sir, I wouldn't make such quick assumptions-"

"Shhh don't ruin the moment" Blitzo retorted pressing his finger into Moxxie's lips to silence him.

Sometimes you'd get a notification in the middle of a job and it'd be Blitzø sending you a selfie of him ( and sometimes some of his friends as well) in the middle of a fight with a caption like:

"another normal day at work (nearly got killed)"

"brunch went wrong"

Or plainly

"how u doing? "

And sometimes you'd reply with a selfie of yourself, creeping up to some guy you're about to murder. Which would cause Blitzø to text you:

Blitzø: update?

And you sending him a picture of you, potentially covered in blood, standing over a dead body.

At this point, he wasn't shying away from nicknames. He'd call you babe, sweetcheeks and sunshine.

You'd usually settle fro something along the lines of hot stuff, pretty boy, love

However, Blitzø does a lot of stupid stuff, which is when idiot, dumbass, etc. come in use

"How ya doing, hot stuff", you'd say, winking at Blitzø, causing him to try and lean on a non-existent doorframe and ultimately topple to the ground, sending you (and Millie, who witnessed it) a fit of giggles.

You and Blitzø's murderous rendezvous start to become more.. date-like. There is a lot of flirting and very little shooting done.

Sometimes you wonder, whether you guys should just drop the pretences

Moxxie and Loona are steadily growing sick of all of this. Millie finds it quite endearing, actualy.

You were presently engaged in a hand to hand combat with Blitzø. You performed a serie of punches, trying hard not to hit any super vital points. This sent your oponent tumbling on the ground.

"Youuu do punch Hella hard, babe," Blitzø drawled out "that's Hella hot "

You chuckled at this and threw him an ice pack with the words:

"Take that, wouldn't want to cause permanent damage to that pretty face of yours"

Blitzø would never admit it, but that made him blush very much, which would've been very much visible if it wasn't for his red skin (the blush was still fairly visible, just less intense).

or another time:

With one swift movement Blitzø tackled you to the ground. He smirked:

"Ya know, I could get used to this view, babe" he started nonchalantly "maybe different setting, like a bedroom" he smirked at your startled reaction "though if you prefer this place, babe, then I guess why not? I'm not picky " he continued his flirting.

You look up at him deviously, buckling your hips forward and in one movement flipping you both, positioning you on top:

"I think this is way better" you smirk at him triumphantly

"Whatever you say babe. Whatever gets us to fuck"

You didn't expect him to be THAT straightforward (honestly, that one is on you, having known him for quite some time you should've seen that coming), deep red blush cowered your cheeks. You were rescued by Loona's groan and frustrated shouting:

"Get a room! Stop defiling the fucking pavement"

The closer you grew together the more comfortable would Blitzø feel with invading your private space. He would sometimes launch "surprise attacks" on you (the reason was that "he missed you very much"):

It was the middle of the night, when you groggily opened your eyes to see Blitzø mere centimetres away from your face:

"Whatcha dreaming about?" He asked. You were about to shriek, but caught yourself in time. Meanwhile, Blitzø continued "Wake up, Im here to kill ya" his voice was far too giddy.

You were very tired. Exhausted.

"Mmmm, go to sleep, Blitzie," you pushed him lightly off you and onto the bed, wrapping your arm around him, "kill me tomorrow"

In retrospect, this wasn't very professional, but Blitzø didn't seem to mind...and judging from the soft purring in the morning, he even enjoyed it.

At this point, you're very accustomed to each other's habits. You also have a set date and time for the Blitzø's murder attempts:

You were anxiously pacing the street. It was a nice Tuesday morning. 9.15 am precisely and it has been 15 minutes since Blitzø was supposed to attack. He always showed up on time. To your murderous rendezvous.

You were about to pick up your phone and dial him, demanding an explanation (you were worried sick: What if the imp died on one of his jobs?), when he showed up, out of breath (clearly had been running) and with two coffee's in tow.

"Hey babes, d'ya miss me?" He said in his suave voice.

"You're late to your weekly murder attempt on my life" You said in a flat voice.

"Ahhh soz, there was a fucking line ot the coffee shop" he replied nonchalantly

"and the fact that you argued with the employee for ten straight minutes because they couldn't get Y/n's order right and then misspelled her name didn't do much to help" Moxxie muttered under his breath, but of course everyone heard him.

"Come on, Mox, don't embarrass Boss in front of the girl" Millie said and winked at you.

"Anyway," Blitzø said stretching out the first syllable, "I got your coffee. Just how you like" he looked at you with pride, as if he had to fight a glorious battle for it (he sort of did)

"Awwww thanks, love, that's so sweet" you smile and give him a soft peck on the cheek. You take a sip of your coffee, its delicious, just how you like it.

Once you're done drinking your coffee and are fairly caught up with the drama that you didn't manage to cover in your texts and calls, Blitzø commands:

"Now, M&M get into your positions. We're way behind schedule!"

a/n: I hope you enjoyed this chapter and have a great day (or night) <3

55 notes · View notes

bandnerdlevel43 · 6 months

Text

Don't Leave Me

Ravio x LU Legend (Ravioli)

Summary: Ravio decides to tidy up their house a bit. Legend disappears to his room, as per usual, to do Goddess knows what. Ravio thinks nothing of it, until he hears the tell-tale sounds of his partner having a breakdown.

Word count: 1,650

Warnings: Grief, Legend has Koholint Trauma, hurt/comfort (but mostly fluff), writer projects her low self-esteem onto Ravio (shhhh it’s fine don’t worry about it), baby’s first time writing gay men

A/N: Hello, Ravioli fandom! Uhhh this is my first time posting my writing (ignore the cringefics I wrote on Wattpad when I was twelve coughs awkwardly), so any positive reinforcement/constructive criticism is not only welcome but encouraged! Also, not only is this my first time writing this sort of content, I myself am not part of the LGBTQ+ community. If I get something wrong, please tell me.

I was just kinda in the mood for these two when I realized I’ve already read all the content. Basically I had the “fine I’ll do it myself” moment that all writers have at some point. Anyways, hope you enjoy! Love you all!

----

Ravio hummed contently, arranging the dishes in a neat pile on the counter. He ignored the various crumbs scattered across it. Instead, he picked up the duster, reached in the cabinet, and swept up the film of particles. He poked it into a corner, and in response, received a small tink. Ravio tilted his head curiously and delicately brushed the object into view. It was another ring- not cursed, thankfully, but horrifyingly unpolished. Ravio reached in to pocket the trinket that had gone so long without care, and continued his chore with a cheery whistle.

But what was that? A sharp rustling sound, followed by… coughing, perhaps? Ravio’s ears pricked; he paused. Sheerow, playing around in some empty boxes? Ravio's brow furrowed. No, the sounds were human in origin. His eyes widened when a soft whimper reached his ears. Legend!

Ravio dropped the duster. He scrambled out of the kitchen and down by the hallway, skidding to a stop by the closed door to their shared room. He knocked timidly, calling out, “Mister Hero?”

No response.

“...Link, please. You know I'll come in even if you don't answer.”

The silence only made Ravio more scared. He would take a “Get lost, Ravio” or a “Leave me alone, Idiot” over this. This quiet meant his Link was drowning in some way Ravio was still struggling to understand, let alone help heal, no matter how desperately he wished he could.

He opened the door anyway.

Ravio peeked inside, and almost immediately his heart sank. Legend was in the middle of the room, hunched over something that Ravio couldn't see. His shoulders were trembling with silent sobs. It was always a stab in the gut for Ravio, to see him like this. It hurt, but he had to ignore it. For Legend's sake.

Ravio made sure his footsteps were easily heard. Legend didn't flinch, twist, or jump. Either he expected his entrance, or he was so deeply buried in his emotions that he didn't notice him. Ravio shuddered at the thought.

The Lolian sat beside the hero, careful not to make any sudden movements. He reached out, touching the other’s shoulder lightly. Legend inhaled sharply, provoking a violent bout of coughing. He shied away from Ravio’s touch, eyeing him warily. He clutched what looked like a sketchbook close to his chest.

“Hey,” Ravio said softly. “You can trust me. Remember?”

Legend squeezed his eyes shut, curling further in on himself. His breathing stuttered, and this time Ravio could see the tears spill from his eyes. He felt an ache in his chest, reaching again for Legend's arm. This time he didn't pull away as his hand rested on his shoulder, tracing little half-circles with his thumb. Ravio didn't dare do more, lest he worsen Legend's state.

“Please, tell me what’s bothering you,” Ravio whispered. “I want to help.” Legend still didn’t speak. Worry made Ravio’s heart beat as rapidly as a rabbit’s twitching nose. Abandoning all caution, Ravio nuzzled his head in the crook of Legend’s neck, puring as much love into the gesture as possible. Hopefully it would snap him out of his sorrow.

It didn’t. Legend stared sightlessly ahead, his eyes glassy with tears.

“Link…” Ravio pleaded. “Say something.”

Legend blinked, turning to look at Ravio as though just noticing his presence. He loosened his grip on the sketchbook, his breath hitching as he let Ravio see.

The drawing was of a woman, the invisible wind tossing her long dress and fluid hair to the side. A large flower of a deep shade pinned some of it back. Her posture was welcoming and bright, but the face… Something was off. The features didn't seem to fit. They just felt wrong.

Legend hugged the drawing back to his chest, shaking again with suppressed sobs. “I'm forgetting her,” he choked out. “I c-can’t remember her eyes. I'm losing her.”

Ravio swallowed hard. He tried not to feel spite, he really tried. But how was he supposed to comfort him when all he was was Marin’s replacement?

Ravio felt himself withdraw his hands. He was suddenly unsure, watching Legend mourn the love that came before him. Now he felt guilty for intruding. Legend must think him inadequate, a second-rate substitute.

“Oh,” Ravio finally said, lips dry and numb. “S-Sorry. I didn't mean to- I'll just-”

Ravio cut himself off, standing suddenly with the intent to leave the veteran alone. To remove himself as a burden. Yet he never had the chance. To his bewilderment, Legend had grabbed his wrist, his grasp like a vice and his gaze just as intent. Desperate, even.

“Don't leave me,” he whispered.

Ravio blanked. Baffled at his words, Ravio wondered why he would want him of all people to remain. He was just a reminder of someone far more precious; nothing more, no one special. But when he heard Legend croak the single word, “Stay,” in a voice so vulnerable, so scared, Ravio slowly sat down again, concern still lacing his every thought and emotion.

Immediately, Legend's arms surrounded him, pulling him close and forcing a small startled squeak from his lips. The Hylian gripped him tight, holding him like a man would a piece of flotsam adrift in a sea wracked with tempests. Legend buried his face in Ravio's dark curls. His actions were almost protective, in a way, and Ravio found himself melting into his embrace. Part of him was still in denial that Legend didn't want him to leave, but when Legend took Ravio's sudden lack of tension as a signal to bring him even closer, those doubts evaporated. Tucked in Legend's arms, he felt a reassurance that he hadn't felt in years. You're safe now, the touch said. You'll never hurt again, because I'll protect you.

Except… Lolia. It wasn't hurt, was it? It was disappear.

Legend was making sure Ravio didn't disappear.

Legend was making sure he didn't disappear.

Ravio promptly burst into tears. Unlike Legend, who was quiet and subtle, Ravio sobbed hard enough he was sure the goddess could hear him. He hiccuped and he sniffled, unable to control the wave of emotions that came crashing down on him.

Of course, Legend's natural reaction was to panic. “Ravio, what happened?” he exclaimed. “Did I hurt you?”

His hands flew to his chest in an obvious display of how startled he was. Ravio's instinct was to pout at the sudden lack of contact. Instead, he hugged him around the middle and laughed wetly. “It's nothing.”

Legend's bloodshot eyes met Ravio's own moist ones. Something akin to worry flashed across his expression, but was quickly overtaken by a pink tint dusting his cheeks. “Stop it, then,” he sputtered.

Ravio merely hugged him tighter. Legend hesitated before digging his fingers in Ravio's silly hair. “I didn't think you'd want me here,” Ravio mumbled, his voice muffled from burying his face in Legend's tunic. “I thought I was making it worse.”

Ravio was quickly flabbergasted at his own boldness. His throat was dry as he stammered, “I-I didn't mean to say that! I'm so sorry, I just- I wanted- I-”

“Ravio.”

Ravio met the hero's eyes and immediately realized he had overstepped. Link's dark, violet eyes were as intense as ever, glaring at him with such a ferocity that wasn't typically directed at him. If he wasn't afraid five seconds ago, he was now. His ears tilted downwards.

“Don't you ever say that again,” Link growled, “or I'll kick you out, for good this time.”

First, Link's words surprised him. Then, they made him so unbelievably happy. He hiccuped out another sob as he squeezed Link's torso tighter, a wide, giddy smile spreading across his face that was so big it hurt. “Promise?” he whispered.

Link snorted. “Don't push it. I might just throw you out anyway.”

Despite the rough words, Ravio's heart soared. He never really meant it (probably), and it meant he was back to normal. No longer lost in the anguish of mourning. Not only that- Ravio wasn't a burden. Somehow, he didn't mess up. And he was so, so happy.

“Thank you,” he finally sighed. “I'm glad you're back.”

“Sap.”

“I am!” Ravio protested with a laugh.

“I know. That still makes you a sap, Rodent,” Legend retorted. He hesitated, toying absently with Ravio's hair. It felt good. He liked it. “But… yeah. I… I needed that. Thanks. I guess.”

“Awwww,” Ravio cooed teasingly. “That was so sweet of you, Mister Hero!”

“Oh, Goddess forbid I show any positive emotion around you!” Ravio could practically feel Legend's eye roll. “Never mind, I take it back! Maybe I should kick you out.”

Ravio shifted so he could look up at the hero, his head in his lap. “You wouldn't, though.”

Legend raised a brow.

Ravio gave him his best puppy-dog eyes.

Legend swatted at him. Ravio yelped as the Hylian shoved him off his lap, a badly suppressed grin on his face.

“Okay, okay! I get it!” Ravio giggled, jumping to his feet. He laughed at the hero's oh-so-grumpy expression. It went well with his flushed cheeks.

“Get back to work, you freeloader,” Legend scoffed. “I don't keep you around to be obnoxious.”

“Your pink ears say otherwise,” Ravio pointed out smugly.

“Ravio!”

That was his cue. Ravio made his escape, twirling out the door and shutting it on the red-faced Hylian. Legend didn't follow. He didn't follow because he cared. Lolia, he cared!

Sheerow was waiting for him outside, fluttering lightly on the breeze drifting in from the open window. Ravio greeted the bird with a warm “Hello, Sheerow”, and opened his palm to offer a space for him to land. His companion complied, perching on his fingers, who in turn tickled the top of his head with a finger.

“Come on, Sheerow,” he said, bouncing, almost skipping, towards the kitchen where he had abandoned his project. “Let's get back to work.”

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #loz #albw #a link between worlds #albw ravio #lu legend #lu ravio #lu legend x ravio #ravioli #ravioli ship #raviolink #so many tags ugh #linked universe legend #linked universe ravio #mine don't steal

73 notes · View notes

this-machine-runs-on-coffee · 1 month

Text

So, hello!

Made a playlist on my YouTube account of all the rtc videos of songs I knew, and I think it might be 40+ videos and I put them in order of (I think + except for This Song Is Awesome and Talia, since the 2015 Chicago video I found has them put together) when they were used in productions (I've heard very few so forgive me if I'm wrong) and (as far as I know) their order in the musical (the openings are put in weird ways because I don't really know their order, I'd be more than happy to correct the order they're in if I were to be wrong). I'm putting the links here because I don't feel like sharing my YouTube account with my name lol

Plus funny thing in the 2015 Song Cycle they sang Noel's Lament before Ocean's song, so I'm really unsure as to how to put it, and we'll make it like this: Noel's Lament 2015 Song Cycle, the two Play To Win which barely change from each other, the two What The World Needs which barely change from each other, Noel's Lament from 2015 Chicago (maybe only a word changes from the Song Cycle but it has the added verse compared to the 2016), Noel's Lament Official Audio and then on with the other ones normal order, except that La La Love is going to be next to Talia instead of at the end

Karnak's Dream Of Life [Official Audio]

Ride the Cyclone: Cut/Lost Uranium Suite Variation (Clip)

Uranium Suite / Tragic Fact | From Citadel Theatre, Ride the Cyclone

Tragic Fact (14/02/2015 Song Cycle)

Fall Fair Suite (2015 Chicago)

Fall Fair Suite (I think more around 2016 version? Not sure, but it isn't on the Official Cast Recording, so)

Waiting For The Drop (2018 Seattle)

The Uranium Suite [Official Audio]

The Otherside (Non-Album Track) ("Somewhere sunrise begins another day, begins another day" that one)

Jane Doe's Entrance (14/02/2015 Song Cycle) (basically the 14/02/2015 and 15/02/2015 should be the same unless I'm wrong and I don't know, so [for all the Song Cycle songs I'll only put one version except for the ones I know vary in certain ways between the two days])

Jane Doe's Entrance [Official Audio] (but this video has the lyrics and I have this one ready and not the other one, audio should be the same)

U-R-A-N-I-U-M (2015 Song Cycle)

Noel's Lament (2015 Song Cycle)

Play To Win (2015 Song Cycle, 14/02/2015) (the one that cuts off at the end and is sung differently in maybe a point or two)

Play To Win (2015 Song Cycle, 15/02/2015) (the one that doesn't cut off at the end and is sung differently in maybe on point or two)

What The World Needs (2015 Chicago) (Angry Birds? Candy Crush?)

What The World Needs [Official Audio] (Pokemon, Spiderman)

Meet Noel Gruber [Official Audio]

Noel's Lament (2015 Chicago)

Noel's Lament [Official Audio] (but the video is one of the lyrics ones)

Spooky Jane Fornication (Non-Album Track) ("Fornication Under Consent of the King" that one)

Every Story's Got A Lesson [Official Audio] (yes the one with Karnak talking at the end)

This Song Is Awesome [Official Audio]

This Song Is Awesome (2015 Song Cycle) (I'm not sure of the differences between the various "This Song Is Awesome"s but I'm giving you the ones I find so here)

This Song Is Awesome + Talia (2015 Chicago)

Talia (2015 Song Cycle) (again I don't know the differences but here have this)

Talia [Official Audio]

Small Things Become Big Things (2015 Song Cycle) (Hank and Trishna's love song)

La La Love (2015 Song Cycle) (So many la la, Hank and Astrid's love song)

Space Age Bachelor Man Sting (Non-Album Track)

Meet Ricky Potts [Official Audio]

Space Age Bachelor Man (2015 Song Cycle) (not sure what changes from this one to the next one but hey you get both)

Space Age Bachelor Man (2015 Chicago)

Space Age Bachelor Man (2018 Seattle) (Zolar, you said? What's that? I've heard of Cattaris and its queen though)

Space Age Bachelor Man [Official Audio] (a bit different from the 2015 ones and we have Zolar again like in 2016)

Meet Jane Doe [Official Audio]

The Ballad Of Jane Doe (2015 Song Cycle)

The Ballad Of Jane Doe [Official Audio] (lyrics video though)

The New Birthday Song [Official Audio]

Sugarcloud (2015 Song Cycle) (wow I did not find the Chicago version on YouTube but alright)

A World Inside (which I don't know when it was done, but I heard it was kept in for two days then abandoned. Sugarcloud was there as well in 2016, but A World Inside was made in 2018 and cut soon after, so I'm putting it here before Official Audio Sugarcloud and Jawbreaker because they were kept even after)

Jawbreaker [Official Audio]

Sugarcloud [Official Audio]

Cookies, Cookies And Some Lemonade/Celebration (15/02/2015 Song Cycle)

It's Not A Game/It's Just A Ride (2015 Song Cycle)

Be Safe, Be Good (For Rachel)/It's Not A Ride (a song sang in 2018 as a tribute for the late director Rachel Rockwell because she loved it, or so I heard. You get the song sung by the choir here and in the next one the Official Audio)

Be Safe, Be Good (For Rachel)/It's Not A Ride [Official Audio]

It's Not A Game/It's Just A Ride [Official Audio]

Here are 3 more that are really soundtracks more than sung songs + the Corey Ross tiktok+the 2018 dance battle between Constance and Ricky in SABM:

Karnak's Theme (or how the video's title says, Karkak's Theme) [Official Audio]

Wonderville Jingle (which apparently according to a comment was found by AdoreDevito on Discord on the Ride The Cyclone's Facebook page from 2012)

Jane Doe's music box leitmotif

Kholby Wardell's Corey Ross's song's tiktok

Cut 2018 Space Age Bachelor Man, part of the dance battle between Cataris's queen and the Space Age Bachelor Man

If you want to here's the 2010/2011-2013 channel of RTC

UPDATE (18/08/24): I noticed yesterday when I should've been sleeping that I had inverted the order of La La Love and Small Things Become Big Things chronologically, as Trishna was there before Astrid was. I'm changing it, just letting you know this. But for anyone who has never heard La La Love, it sounds very similar to Talia, which is probably why I put them close to each other in the first place, but I don't remember so I'm not sure. I think the love songs originally were after Corey Ross's rap (not really any videos of it except for a deleted tiktok from Kholby Wardell which has a small verse saying something and describing a little what happens during Corey Ross's rap battle against himself, so pretty much lost media or so I heard), so I would've put it after This Song Is Awesome, had there not been a video that connected both Talia and This Song Is Awesome. Changing that now.

Update number two, 19/08/24: I've just seen this Reddit post now and wow, I knew I wasn't original but we had the same idea, which is great like wow I am impressed. I've genuinely never seen this post before tonight, and you can believe me or not believe me, either way it would be fine, I've done this post for myself to organise my playlist and in case it could help others, had I seen it before, I probably would've done this post earlier, inspired by it, but with probably less songs as my knowledge was more limited a month or two ago. Genuinely (positively) surprised to find that while searching for Talia sheet music in the RTC subreddit lol, won't be adding the "Still here?" And "Welcome..." Songs tho because they aren't really sung or do much. Maybe I'll add them to the additional videos in the end, that will definitely be inspired by that post, since in the end those are part of the RTC song album after all, and probably deserve to be added

Please do notify me if I've forgotten any songs or themes, I'd like to hear them if I have because then I've probably never heard them

31 notes · View notes

pitter-patt-art · 1 month

Text

Ace Attorney AU August (halfway progress update!)

Okay technically it's the 16th (lol, 17th by the time this is done) so a little over halfway actually, but still I thought since I haven't had anything finished to post the past few days this would be a fun alternative!

I've been going a little nuts (affectionate) over @augustwritingchallenge's AU-gust prompts list this year so August has been a wild ride (about 40k words of one, in fact. so far.) but seeing as I will get attached to even the jokiest of AU ideas instantly, I've completed* a whopping 5 whole fics of 16, lol. Considering the shortest of those is over 3k and the longest is over 12k, I think the problem with not finishing these in a timely manner is entirely on my verbose foolish thick skull, haha, but I'm still having a blast with it.

Here is my ao3 series where I'm posting!

And a rundown / progress report / quick teaser of all the AUs including those I've yet to finish, if anyone's interested:

(*by "completed" I should note two of the already posted fics are basically assuredly going to be continued past the challenge, but let's say "completed enough to post and be on theme")

1. Canon Divergence - complete - 4.5k words ("For the Murder of Mr. Wrong" link)

Mia POV, gen. What if Dahlia succeeded in poisoning Phoenix and framed Doug Swallow instead (and then Mia defended him in court)? Basically a 3-1 rewrite. Fun Fact: I only came up with this AU because before I even remembered AU-gust existed at all, I'd come up with like 4 totally separate AUs in which I poison Phoenix in various ways With Real Consequences because it amuses me, lol, but he survives all those other ones and I eventually realized I hadn't even considered straight up killing him off yet so I figured I should try it at least once, haha.

2. Colorless - complete 1st chapter - 3.2k words ("Grey Matters" link)

Phoenix POV (for 1st ch --prob alternating after), wrightworth. "You can't see color until the first time you touch your soulmate"-soulmate AU. 1st chapter is their first meeting as kids (skipping the class trial itself). Fun Fact(s): I really love a color soulmate AU! Big fan of the "only see the color of their eyes" type of one too but uhhh on top of that working better for things that have wild anime eye colors, you could not pay me enough to try to figure out what the HELL is going on with Ace Attorney eye colors at any given time lmfao. (Also--spoilers for what i haven't written yet but hey if you're here you earned it--this IS one of my very many "teehee what if i poison Phoenix just a smidge as a treat for me" fics. NOT my fault the man ATE GLASS. That's on him.)

3. Dark Academia - complete "1st chapter" - 4.4k words ("The Spirit of the Laws of Magic" link)

Mia POV, lanamia. Magical boarding school setting featuring corruption and missing-student conspiracies and a most likely overthought system of magic with hierarchies and prejudices in societal views of academic/formulaic vs folk/innate magic. Fun Fact: I really thought for SURE i was going to skip this day entirely, lol. (foolish.) I don't think i've actually ever personally read anything "dark academia", technically--so if this doesn't read EXACTLY that way, there you go, but i did my best. I also then thought I could live with keeping this vague but I accidentally thought about it too long so... plus at least two people on top of myself at this point have expressed interest in more of this and so I have some semi-concrete Plans™ now.

4. Zombie Apocalypse - conceptualized (but not started)

Concept: probably gen and Phoenix POV, but also because I'm me and they're them, at least a little bit wrightworth even if it isn't necessarily explicit in any meaningful way bc they are Not Normal about each other lol. A little sketchy on how much of an "AU" this counts for, since it could probably be argued to be canon compliant somehow, but basically just: Universe where they make a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies-type Steel Samurai reboot movie thing (featuring, you guessed it, zombies), and Miles comes over and forces Phoenix to watch it with him just to have someone to bitch about it at, and then during that time Maya blows her way into Phoenix's apartment as well with the exact same intentions except her "day job" isn't quite as time-sensitive-strict so she's already finished watching it earlier and knows all the spoilers. Honestly a good chance Phoenix and Pearl (who came with Maya) end up hiding out in the kitchen together to let Maya and Miles rile each other up in front of the TV, but I'm never exactly sure where they'll take me once I wind them up and set them loose on the page, so who knows. I also hadn't necessarily determined the exact time frame yet but for it to make sense as a reboot-type movie/special episode/whatever it probably should be 7yg-or-later so Trucy may or may not be there as well. (That said, in my struggles to complete an actually short one-shot, I probably shouldn't even include Pearl let alone Trucy, lol.) Fun Fact: I also thought I'd skip this day bc I'm not the biggest zombie guy in the world, and to be fair, I managed to do Way Less with it than the dark academia prompt so, yippie?

5. Chess Players - incomplete (currently 3k word WIP)

Miles POV, wrightworth. Miles is a chess grandmaster and back in Japanifornia for the upcoming world cup tournament, but his greatest challenge is actually to FINALLY best Franziska in their annual who-can-get-the-best-Christmas-gift competition. Luckily, he just so happened to hear of an artist who makes bespoke chess sets, so the plan is to get a custom board made for Franziska without her finding out. The plan is not to get trapped in a weird art collective labyrinth with some model-photographer named Cindy who keeps hitting on him but also happens to be protective of the artist he's there to see because "she and her boyfriend kinda-sorta owe him big time", but this is what he gets for coming here without doing any extra research into the artist besides seeing his work and hearing only "his name is White, or, eh, something like that, you know how those artist types are" from Mr. Amano. (AU where we replace law with chess and no I don't think Phoenix could necessarily hack it in the top-world-grandmasters-level of chess tournaments HOWEVER have you considered he DID go to art school so what if he just tries selling custom chess sets until somehow that reconnects him with Miles. Is that somehow a more insane plan than studying law? Maybe. Did Manfred still shoot Gregory but now it was over fucking chess? Maybe. Idk. But I did let Greg live this time at least!) Fun Fact: we can all DEFINITIVELY blame my lovely, terrible, very wonderful friend Ben (shameless friend plug! she's an outstanding writer and has some AA fics of her own too!! @kindlystrawberry on tumblr!!) for making a total joke about "well what about au where they make chess pieces instead" while i lamented not knowing enough about chess to write an actual match and spawning this ENTIRE concept. It is her fault. 100%. She is the guilty party. (I want to finish this one VERY BADLY. Save me.)

EVIDENCE!!!!! Guilty.

6. Reality Show - incomplete (currently 700 word WIP)

Phoenix (& Franziska) POV(s), background wrightworth wedding planning going on as set up but it's also definitely just one of my many excuses to set Phoenix and Franziska up as bitchy worsties who can't admit they enjoy each other's company and will cut you down if you suggest it as such. So far I've only written the quote "set-up" section which is in Phoenix's POV, but that was SUPPOSED to be like 5 paragraphs and cut away and then lead into my actual plan for the main body, which was to be in Franz's instead, so. This is very similar to the zombie one in that it's them watching reality tv instead of being contestants on a show (I don't personally like or watch a lot of reality tv so my creative well was somewhat dry on how to make that work) and then I accidentally thought about Phoenix and Franziska watching something just to judge and tear apart the decisions of every person on it and that was too fun to not consider further, haha. Basically the plan is just they get left alone together and don't know what to do with that and end up wine-drunk and making fun of some reality dating show of some kind and Miles and Trucy come back to them losing it together over something stupid and are like "......uh. what's happening." Fun Facts: I really love the thought experiment of Franziska somehow discovering how often Phoenix's internal dialogue/reads on situations and especially people can be So Bitchy And Judgey despite his affable complexion, and her unfortunately finding his opinions to SOMETIMES be somehow slightly okay. Moderately correct, even--occasionally. I know the section she follows you-as-Phoenix around in T&T is really not long at ALL, but I adore it. There's something about it that so badly makes me want to force them into proximity more (to both their chagrin, I'm sure).

7. Farm/Ranch - complete - 12k words ("Two Little Dickey Byrdes" link)

Gumshoe POV, gumbyrde (tho i still think dickeybyrde is a funnier ship name). 5+1 things--except more like maybe 7-or-8+1 to be honest--so it's more: over 5 times Dick and Maggey sit on a wall together and 1 time they find someone else there instead. AKA: Dick runs his family's small farm (think fantasy farm like in a farming sim or maybe horse girl novel type of thing that has nothing to do with what a real farm is like lol don't worry about it) and Maggey starts working at the next farm over as the latest of her many odd jobs. Fun Fact: oh god this one got so far away from me. it was not supposed to be this long lmao. it's literally the elaborate set-up to a very silly Nursery-Rhyme-I-Didn't-Even-Know-About-Prior-To-This -based punchline!?! still, i was pleasantly surprised by how happy i was with this once it was done... two sittings and about 16 total hours later. haha).

8. Nomad - incomplete (planned/outlined)

Apollo (or possibly Klavier) POV, klapollo. Sort of Jove-Thalassa swap adjacent, but basically: AU where Jove survives the Khura'in fire but loses his memories for [contrived convince sake reasons]. (And also possibly loses some or all of his eyesight just to really go for the parallels?) Therefore: Jove and Apollo stay with Dhurke and Nahyuta and the Defiant Dragons for a time, while Jove recovers, but eventually they leave and head out on their own, just the two of them, and do the traveling musician thing, both because it's dangerous in Khura'in and Dhurke already canonically didn't want Apollo to get caught up in it and potentially get hurt to begin with and because with a functioning actual parent Apollo doesn't need to be taken in by him--and also Jove from what little we know seems like he prefers to be on the move and was already a world traveler anyhow, so even amnesiac maybe he gets a little antsy stuck in one place too long. And so like amnesiac Thalassa, Jove thusly becoming a renowned mysterious musician--and then Apollo, sweet tone deaf Apollo, becoming the sonager of all time (like a momager but...you get it) because he's not that into music but he IS into arguing for better conditions/making deals (contracts!! international legalese!! woohoo!!) with venues and promoters and stuff. And then--oops dang Lamioir still exists and now they have a meet-cute (2 electric bugaloo) (but by then it's later enough Trucy still exists because it will be a cold day in hell when I don't find a way to make her work) and they do music collabs or join up to form a group or whatever and OOPS this means now that Apollo and Jove are with Lamioir when The Gavinners / Klavier specifically meet her and get her to come to do the Guitar's Serenade concert eventually. And Apollo and Klavier ofc thusly also have a meet-cute and then talk and bond etc etc. AND THEN the au STOPS THERE and I DON'T think about how without Apollo Phoenix is totally getting convicted of Zak's murder because there's no way that trial works out as well for him with some other attorney and I also don't think about how reasonable it would then be that maybe Trucy ends up helping Valant with his work setting up the trick for the concert afterward on account of the one father in prison and the other being dead and having left behind a notarized confession clearing Valant's name of suspicion, etc. AND I DEFINITELY do not think about how i could then still so easily get everyone in one place at the concert for Turnabout Serenade and/or any possible funny Sibling (And Thalassa) Reveal that could happen i dont i dont i do not--

9. Accidental Baby Acquisition - conceptualized (not started)

Gen, possibly my weakest / least defined idea on this list, but basically: Phoenix kind of already lives this in canon, lol (insomuch as an 8yo counts as a baby) so I thought, well, how to take it a different direction, then? And I thought, I don't usually go for a Phoenix Fey kind of au because I personally really love the relationships he has with all the Feys as-is in canon and so it's not quite as funny to me as, say, a Miles Fey AU where like Misty and Gregory are married, or any of the ones in that bent, because I'm sorry but that's just SO funny (and sad, but mostly funny) any way you slice it--plus his NAME is RIGHT THERE mia-miles-maya he FITS--anyhow, that completely aside, there are just a lot of reasons I really love the platonic relationships the Feys already have with Phoenix and I don't think it NEEDS to be made specifically familial to still be so very important, y'know? BUT. That said. AU where Phoenix is idk abandoned as a baby or maybe his parents die young or something and it's like a Thing to leave babies at temples or churches or whatever, right? So like--Phoenix adopted by the Feys AU but only because the more i considered it the more i thought it would be WILD for him to literally know Maya her entire life, and it's fascinating to me to consider a Maya who ISN'T basically left all alone to her own devices (and Morgan's) and who has someone absolutely in her corner in the village the entire time even after Mia leaves (who isn't a baby when Mia leaves, love you tho Pearls), AND also and perhaps more importantly, the ships-passing-in-the-night-ness of a scene where, like: Morgan does something sketchy or whatever and Phoenix wants to keep Mia updated but for whatever reason decides to go down to the city and actually tell her in person and so he's waiting outside the courthouse or something (possibly part of or perhaps Most Of the reason he goes in person is because he knows her first courtroom trial is that day and he wants to see her + hear how it went) and when he gets there she's in a heated argument with some asshole in a fancy over-embellished jacket and once that guy leaves Phoenix is like "Sheesh, what's his problem?" You know???? And maybe he really would never even know!!!! Bc he grew up in Kurain!!!! And has no reason to care!!! About some random prosecutor who was mean to Mia!! Aaaah!!! So that, and on top of that, Diego would be there too ofc at that point, and I feel like he would ALSO be quite a funny interaction in this scenario. ("Wow, someone's popular, kitten, you have all sorts of guys waiting on a chance to talk to you, heh?" "Uh.--I'm sorry, WHAT did you just call her")

10. Enemies-to-Allies - incomplete (currently 370 word WIP)

Ema POV, faraskye. Cyberpunk AU where Lana is still under Gant's thumb and Ema, with no other way to stay close to her and getting rejected from any of the sorts of jobs she really wants to do, decides to just join the security force (or cyber police or w/e I decide to call it) and is tasked with hunting down the Yatagarasu, guerilla hacker supreme who is threatening the sanctity of the capitalist overlords. Except Ema's squad gets ambushed and she's captured and tied to a pole, and with her useless fop partner seemingly not coming to rescue her (if he even noticed her absence), she does some quick cost-benefit analysis and decides she didn't really like that job anyway and maybe there's another way she can get her sister back in her life. So she breaks free of her own handcuffs (which she definitely didn't modify into incidental ineffectiveness she's still testing for bugs) and helps fix the "Little Thief" device her captor seems to have broken despite how obviously valuable and impressive the tech is, and they eventually come to something of an agreement. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, and all that. Either Ema as the hardware-engineer one and Kay as the software-programming one as the two sides of the tech coin, or else Kay can just be like doing the physical sneaking kind of spy stuff only--or maybe she knows a little about software but not so much she's a pro the way she is with infiltration and such. Possibly toying with the idea Kay herself is just completely an android, but if not, I think she has some cybernetic cyborg things going on regardless. Possibly from or inspired by her father? I also like the idea that Gant did something maybe more drastic with regards to having dirt on Ema to get Lana to do his bidding--like maybe Ema has a whole cybernetic hand because instead of just her handprint on a leather jacket, Gant has some sicko jar with her entire hand in it in his office safe, or something. I don't know why this would be useful to him but it is certainly an image. I also find it funny if Miss Fingerprint Powder Enthusiast doesn't actually have any fingerprints of her own anymore somehow in this AU, lol.

11. Retail Worker - complete - 6.7k words ("The Bake Anything Boulangerie" link)

Apollo POV, gen. Phoenix gets a job at a bakery instead of the Borscht Bowl Club during the 7 year gap, and Apollo happens to stumble across it and ends up meeting the Wrights while he's still in high school. He becomes a regular at the bakery and is already close to them by the time "Shadi Smith's" murder comes around. And also, yes, sibling reveal right away--at least as soon as Phoenix realizes and can reveal it. As a treat. (Other reveals, though, I might put poor Apollo through on a delayed basis. Also as a treat, lmao, just not one for him.) Fun Fact: I'm being redundant bc this is also in my a/n, but, Baker Phoenix lives rent-free in my brain because Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright was in fact the very first Ace Attorney game I ever played, technically, and Maya and Phoenix semi-brainwashed in that bakery was literally one of my first impressions of them. ........followed immediately by starting a let's play of Justice for All (which i watched through the first case, after which I was like oKAY fine maybe i DO need more context here, i should probably figure out what the actual first game is, and went back to start the series properly at the beginning hahaha). What do you MEAN i have a disproportionate fascination with amnesiac Phoenix, even if I have yet to finish and publish one of my myriad AUs that utilize stupid, unrealistic, plot convenient re-temporary amnesia?? Hm???? Idk what you're talking about. Also everyone who complains about 2-1 is wrong lmao it's objectively (okay subjectively is what i'm saying yes BUT objectively) such a funny place to start without knowing broad plot strokes, it's great. I both knew so much and absolutely shit-all nothing about Maya after PLvPW and 2-1, LMAO. god.

12. Animagus Wings (Joker) - incomplete (planned/outlined)

Miles POV, wrightworth. Angel/Demon AU, except I'm playing super fast and loose with the rules on that because all my knowledge of Christian-mythos comes from firstly and unknowingly the Chronicles of Narnia and more recently and cognizantly Lucifer (Netflix) and Good Omens. I know that's probably more or less what we're all doing with this kind of AU but still, I'm not even sure I want to refer to Heaven and Hell here, I'm kinda on the fence about maybe just keeping it all very vague? I also accidentally semi-worldbuilt more than i intended incidentally on account of "But Then How-Why Names If Angelic Creatures?" Format-wise it would semi-follow gomens s1 where it's hopping through some meetings between long stretches but also a kind of pre- and post- Fall type of thing? And potentially à la Lucifer becoming, like, these are My Mortal Humans and i will be Spending Time With Them, screw you celestial duties, I'm making my own Free Will, etc. And i mean i guess Lucifer is also a crime procedural lmao maybe they still solve crimes in the end too. Fun Fact: I didn't want to do the original prompt for several reasons, and sure fuck jkr is one of them but even before I knew about her I still wasn't really the biggest hp person in the first place? So i wouldn't know/don't remember at all the way it works without having to do the specific research and i...don't want to haha. Hence. And I know the prompt seems to be using it loosely / might just be borrowing the word and not actually referencing hp specifically but tbh either way human-animal shifter things just in general I can be somewhat picky about haha. (Okay okay plus full disclosure the ONLY idea I have for this sort of thing actually ties into my day-3-dark-academia-extended-au-verse and i COULD make my life simpler by just connecting the two days but Heh who would I be if I simplified things for myself... *sigh*) All that to say: I saw "wings" on the wild card list and I thought, ooh, well that's still sort of a related concept! Let's tag that one in! So it's still kind of day 12 prompt-adjacent, if you squint.

13. Found Footage - incomplete (planned/outlined)

Video Transcript POV? Is that a thing? Possibly capped by a little Phoenix POV (but i don't want that to get too long), wrightworth. Larry's new girlfriend of the month bakes weed brownies and Larry does not realize this and swings by the Wrights' apartment to beg some kind of help off Phoenix and forgets the whole tray there somehow (because it's Larry) and they leave to deal with Larry's thing and by the time they figure the brownies out, in some twist of fate Miles and Trucy have been hanging out (last minute babysitter/adult supervision? but she's at the very very least 14 or 15 here and most likely older, and Nick clearly isn't the most strict about like uhhh supervision in general lol sooo idk. he's helping her with a project or smth. it doesn't really actually matter; he's THERE, that's the important thing.) The point I'm very clearly getting at is they accidentally get incredibly high (not dangerously so because I'm not going that far haha but also, neither of them has actually been high before, so they are Affected) before Phoenix finds out what was in the brownies and tries to warn Trucy and hurry home to like, dispose of them or at least put a warning label on them or whatever, but he is too late lol. By a lot. Definitely an underage drugs tag on this bad boy because it's definitely sometime 18-or-earlier for Trucy, let alone 21. (idk about other places but as a Californian I can tell you Japanifornia "LA" could theoretically have it legalized at 21 for anyone (like alcohol) and 18 with Dr's permission--which Trucy definitely does not have in this AU lol.) Basically, Phoenix grabs Trucy's phone to get photo evidence so he can let them never live this down (after making sure they're okay lmao), but he ofc doesn't get technology so he doesn't realize he leaves the phone still recording when Trucy asks him for something / needs his help, so the recording just keeps going and captures a lot of tomfoolery and eventually some inebriated-to-Extremely-sober Feelings-Adjacent confessions (or maybe more like allusions). Idk, this was actually a fic I thought of before August and wanted to use as an excuse to try a Weird Format for fun, but then i saw this was a prompt on the list and...well. Fun Fact: Cannabis was legalized in California on November 8, 2016 (the first election I could vote in!!! ......uh, rip. lol. but yeah babey I helped legalize weed at least!! gotta remember the positives), which means it was legal right in time for Miles' case(s) / Turnabout Goodbyes!!! Yay!! I mean, I suppose that's genuinely seriously one way to try to mitigate nightmares and manage insomnia--not that I think Miles Edgeworth would ever deign stoop so low as to use an aid to manage his severe PTSD and trauma symptoms, psshaw, who do you take him for? (Get these people some help lol. They all need so much therapy.)

14. Princes & Princesses - conceptualized (not started)

So I've been reading a lot (a LOT) of isekai and/or revenge reincarnation romance fantasy manhwas lately (like, oh, too many, hahaha. they're quite good and they're VERY popular in webcomics at the moment.) Soooo. Soft pitch: Apollo already gets slapped into so many wild backstories he's constantly trying to dodge in an effort to be just a Normal Guy, he's honestly, like, the PERFECT protagonist for one of these lmao. And tell me Kristoph doesn't make a perfect "Upstanding Duke" kind of persona, and Klavier couldn't be the "wild rake" younger brother no one expects much from, and all I'm saying is it wouldn't be that hard to contrive a reason Apollo tries to get Klavier to agree to a contract marriage the way all these stories go, lol. And also, something something, Apollo from the "real world" is an orphan/has an absent family (also like so many of these manhwa protagonists, lol) but then he gets to actually have one in his second life!! I'm such a sucker for that shit. Slightly harder pitch, and the reason I did not let myself actually start writing anything (...yet): so what if the actual plot of the "original romance novel" Apollo is familiar with from the "real world (Earth)" is actually about the slightly older generation and something something instead of admiring Phoenix as a defense attorney, it's just that he instead was Apollo's favorite "love interest" character (not, like, for himself, just the one he most liked to read about) in every way except what a blithering idiot he became when the author had him fall for the female lead--but BEFORE that, he's a cool information guild leader guy who seems like he's trying to work toward some way to improve conditions for commoners in the kingdom (but abruptly there are no more mentions of this after he gets involved with the lead, which is annoying). Aaaand... I guess what I'm saying is, Dahlia is the original female lead because she REALLY fits the whole White Lotus trope, and I'm thinking Klavier is the original male lead because A) hilarious, B) fits in with the idea there's more going on in the ACTUAL world Apollo ends up in that is written in such a way as to make things seem different in the novel (like, that Dahlia and Klavier are actually as nice as they seem and that the terrible things that happen around them are just the trials and tribulations of being main characters and not anything they're directly involved in). And Apollo, the character in the novel Apollo, is an adopted prince of Khura'in, but he's the sickly younger prince and of course not actually of the royal bloodline (and also a man, considering Khura'in is matrilineal), so Rayfa and Nahyuta are the ones the public and other nobles actually know and care about and deal with. But wait! As it so turns out, The Wright Anything Information Guild (I feel like the actual guild name CAN'T have their freaking name on it front and center lol but you get the idea) happens to know some other things that aren't really expanded on in the original novel, and might be key to preventing Apollo's death so he doesn't follow the path of the original story, and also idk maybe Apollo and Trucy are half-fae or something like that and instead of like Aw Yay Bracelet in this AU it's more of a secret Iron Shackle Tool That Will Hurt I Mean Totally-Definitely-Help Us Later (still, in a way, passed down to him by Thalassa, but more as, like... she's kind of a secret hostage and does not manage to hide pregnancy number one so Apollo's now also a secret hostage, but she manages to escape so they don't know about Trucy, only she didn't tell Apollo basically anything to "keep him as safe as possible" or w/e, and......) Well, anyway. It got away from me before I even really wrote anything, that's all.

15. Secretly Alien - unfinished (currently 2.6k WIP)

Trucy POV, gen. Apollo gets sick of very consistently always losing the card games they play at the Wright Anything Agency (usually and in the specific instance the fic starts, Bullshit/BS) and in a stroke of inspiration somehow ropes everyone into playing Among Us instead. ("What! It's still a game of trying to lie/trick everyone else--like you like!--but I actually stand a freaking chance, so we're playing this or I'm going home.") Yes. This is my Among Us AU. Hi. They play Among Us. I'm justifying this one as prime AU territory however because A) Among Us has to exist in this universe, and even more pressingly, B) I found a way to force Phoenix to have--for at least a period of time if not moving forward in perpetuity--an actual smartphone instead of a Nokia-type brick cellphone. Which even under the wild but somehow plausible considering Ace Attorney circumstances I contrived, is just automatically a complete AU lmao. Fun Fact: I am so mad this one wasn't just totally finished day-of, lol. Why I ever thought I could give myself run of an entire WAA 4-person conversation and NOT get instantly derailed is beyond me. (And I want to get the prosecutors there, too?? Someone take the characters away from me.) Anyway. No, I have not written ANY of the actual Among Us part yet. Sigh. Also I haven't personally played amogus since like, 2021? maybe? And I know (now) that it's been pretty updated since then, but, ehhh, I'm just gonna run off like, lockdown-era amogus rules and vibes, lol. If I can get to the game part.

16 - Hobby Drama - conceptualized

I'm going to go out of order this time to say: Fun Fact: I have ALWAYS wanted to write a Reddit-style fic!!! I absolutely love them and I've read some REALLY, really good ones, so I've always wanted to try my hand at it. So theoretically this is the perfect time to make that a reality and write a r/HobbyDrama subreddit fic, buuut I got stuck before starting because I'm torn on two possible routes to take it (I can easily foresee myself caving and just doing both lol). - Option 1: Steel Samurai fandom discourse, always a fun/funny thing to think about, definitely would enjoy having Maya and Miles post some stuff for that. - Option 2: courtroom law fandom discourse, because come ON, how are those galleries ALWAYS SO FULL. The little wiggling rabba-rabba onlookers have GOT to have investment in this shit. And why WOULDN'T they, honestly. I've seen those trials and I have, in fact, spent a Lot of time thinking about them, not that any posts I've made lately would reflect that in any way or anything. Like I know it's hard to tell, but if I can be invested in the Lawyers Fandom, who's to say the people in the courtrooms aren't????? And I LOVE an outsider POV fic actually, I think they're so fun. So anyway. Reddit fic. You will be mine. Just as soon as I can hone my energy

And, what the hell, since it's so late now by the time I complete this "Heh This'll Be So Quick To Throw Together" post, I'll include today's, too:

17 - Flower Shop - conceptualized (at work earlier today. lol)

AU where Daddy Hawthorne is like, 97% less shitty. And the Hawthornes have a flower shop instead of like a gemstone industry or whatever. And he takes both Dahlia and Iris with him instead of dumping one of his daughters at a fucking secluded mountain temple and seemingly forgetting about her forever. On second thought, maybe what I actually mean is he's like 999% less shitty, lmfao. Anyway, Iris POV, but Dahlia (while not a "nice" person by any stretch) is not pushed to such extremes or nearly as desperate as canon, so Valerie lives, Terry Fawles lives, Doug Swallow lives, and Dahlia gets to live a good life overall--because as much fun as I love using her as a villain, she's really such a product of the absolute worst circumstances and I really do find her interesting so I've been kind of wanting to explore her in a less cartoonishly evil light, haha. (Don't get me wrong, I do love the cartoonishly evil light too, but I like spicing things up sometimes.) Like, she does (more) normal teen rebellion things ("Look at my inappropriately older boyfriend, Dad" "I'm going to talk my way out of speeding tickets and petty shoplifting as a bid for attention" etc.) and she still totally orders Iris around and Iris still totally does whatever she asks very much to her own detriment and has to learn to break away and be her own person. Fun Fact: I have a very passionate love for Iris/Adrian Andrews. Is that. Um. Is that a ship anyone else has ever considered before? Is that just me? I'm not sure but very possibly I'll just make this a rarepair fic as a treat, for me alone, teehee. (Like... it's about the becoming the master of your own destiny it's about breaking out of codependent cycles it's about how I genuinely honestly think they'd be each other's type and have chemistry even though they've obviously never interacted lmao... idk what to tell you.)

AND THATS MY AU-GUST UPDATE POST!!!

If you made it this far, take a sprinkle of my undying affection, and may you be blessed with AU inspiration if you so desire it!! (If you do not desire it, hopefully you are not cursed with it. I do not take refunds if you are. Sorry.)

Wish me luck with completing some more fics soon!!! Unfortunately weekends are actually my least free time because I work the most and the earliest hours so I have less time and am more tired, but also on Wednesday I'm leaving for a family vacation, which will either be the BEST thing to happen in regards to AU-gust or the WORST thing lmfao. If nothing else I have 2 flights, and I actually Love writing on an airplane, so fingers crossed for it being Good. <3

EDIT: Now with part 2 for the rest of the month here!

#au gust 2024 #au gust #ace attorney #ace attorney spoilers #OH this post is so long. i did not. mean for that to happen. but i had fun with it and now I've got all my ideas in one place! yay #i kind of feel bad about clogging the tags though so idk what even TO tag lol #wrightworth #narumitsu #lanamia #gumbyrde #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #mia fey #lana skye #larry butz #maya fey #dick gumshoe #maggey byrde #apollo justice #trucy wright #FUCK IT WE BALL im just tagging it all. i put enough time into this to justify clogging tags lol #i typed wrightworth so many times here despite liking narumitsu aesthetically more but in technicality im definitely #writing the localization characters and not naruhodou and mitsurugi.... so. meh. I'll survive lol #aaau-gust 2024 #welcome to my patt ttalk #patt's prattle #idk why i have so many ramble tags when i am so bad about using this blog haha #i feel like I'm forgetting smth but if i am I'll get back to it later #I'll be posting everything else to the same ao3 series!! if you want me to ramble forever more about any of these literally #i will do it at the drop of a hat this is my entire personality lately lol. minimally ask me and I'll write you an essay

22 notes · View notes

bumblebeesfromvenus · 10 months

Text

Aching Heart left there in The Cold ♡

Character of your choice x reader, (ex. Leon Kennedy, Jason Todd, Link, Ghost, etc)

A/N:...I don't know what came over me. This is probably the most heart-wrenching thing I've ever written. You can blame (or thank) Blackbriar for that. I recommend the songs 'You're Haunting me', 'Bloody Footprints in the Snow', or 'The Séance' by the aforementioned culprit, if you really want to get into the story! I'd love to know which character you imagined while reading this, let me know <3

~Fi ❄️

Warnings: GORE, graphic depictions of dead animals, ANGST, this hurt to write but also I love it, hurt no comfort, AU but idk what this is tbh, I'll buy you tissues <3

Word count: 2.2k

Please don't copy my work! I put a lot of effort and heart into the things I write.

@pinkalmondcake @vampkennedy you wanted snow, but I don't think this what you meant.......

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

The cold nipped at your fingertips as you slowly gained back your consciousness. You were absolutely freezing. Your eyes slowly fluttered open, having a hard time adjusting to the blinding white that enveloped you.

With a groan, you slowly managed to sit upright and take in your surroundings. You were sitting in the middle of a snowy forest. The thick blanket of flakes was covering the trees, making their branches sag. There was nothing but trees and snow, no matter where you looked. No end in sight, not a clearing or perhaps a wooden cabin. There was absolutely nothing except your cold, shivering self that still rested in the middle of these endless woods with rosy cheeks.

You held onto a nearby log to heave yourself off the freezing ground. Your legs were shaky and unreliable and your thick wool clothes that were once to keep you warm were now completely soaked and doing nothing to keep the cold and humidity out.

Gentle flakes were floating down upon you, catching on your hair and blanketing you in the same manner as they once had the plants. There was almost like a fog hanging close to the ground, dipping the scenery in an eerie atmosphere. It was dead silent. Not one little noise from the various animals that you knew lived here, not a creak of the tree branches who should be giving out under the weight of the snow. Not a breeze, let alone another human.

Your heart ached at the sight. What happened? You remember these woods, but not like this. They were always prosper, full of life. The flowers would bloom and the trees would carry bright leaves on their crowns. Birds and insects would harmonize to make a beautiful symphony that had your soul blossoming in your chest. The squirrels and hares that lingered around the plush forest floor were gone, no fawns and does were in sight. It was... dull. But at the same time so incredibly peaceful.

Not a single sound except your soft breaths. You could feel your muscles relax, yet there was a tightening feeling in your chest that you couldn't seem to shake.

Something was wrong. Very wrong.

Before you could even realize it, your feet were carrying you down what you remembered was a path, leaving the imprint of your body in the snow behind. The more you walked, the more the atmosphere changed. It was still quiet and white, but it became tense. Incredibly so. Like a string that was about to snap. You could make out a faint pink glow across the snowy ground in the distance. Hope bubbled up in your chest. There had to be something there, right? Something that could explain all of this.

Your breaths became shorter as you subconsciously sped up your pace to make it to that eerie glow. Before you could get far, though, you stepped on something with an echoing crunch. You stopped in your tracks and took a step back, wanting to see what was under the imprint of your boot. Kneeling down, you began digging, exposing deep crimson tainted snow. Blood. It was now staining your hands. With panicked and labored breaths, you dug your fingers deeper, unveiling what looked like a bone. It was now in pieces from you stepping on it. You stumbled back as much as you could as you were still kneeling, your hands leaving red traces in the snow.

Without a second thought you bunched up snow in your palms and tried to wash the ruby on your hands away. With teary eyes you harshly scrubbed at your skin, hoping, praying that you would get the blood off. Thankfully, you did, and your fingertips were now red from the cold and not from blood.

As soon was your hands were clean, you gathered up your many wool skirts and ran. As fast you could, dragging your boots through the snow. You were getting closer and closer to the pink glow. Now, it felt like you shouldn't be running towards it, but you couldn't go back to the horror you had found. You didn't want to go back.

Something caught your eye. Small, dark spots in the pure snow. You slowed your pace, intrigued by the tracks. Fear shot through you when you realized they were red. It was blood. Again. Your eyes were glued to what seemed drops of blood. They got bigger and bigger as you went on, turning into puddles. There were deep traces in the snow behind them, like something or someone was dragged across the snow.

You were too focused on the stained snow, tears cascading down your rosy cheeks at the absolute horrors before you that you tripped over something, falling forward into the cold. You were able to catch yourself with your hands, letting out a grunt at the impact. You recovered quickly, turning around to see what exactly it was that you stumbled over.

The scream that ripped through you echoed through the forest. Before you laid the carcass of a deer. Bloodied and ripped open. Deep gashes adorned the animals body. You could see some blood dripping from where it's ribcage had been cracked open, sinking into the snow. It was fresh. A recent kill. By what? Or who? Your heart broke for the poor animal.

The once curious and innocent eyes now drained of all life, staring back at you empty and dull. "What happened to you..?" You whispered shakily, having the urge to reach out to it. But there was nothing you could do anymore, not much at least. You muttered a quick prayer under your breath, gently stroking down the deer's face, hoping that at least its soul would be granted some peace.

You pulled your damp shawl tighter around your shoulders, continuing onwards. Nothing could've prepared you for what you saw next. A trail of slaughtered animals. All kinds, big and small, predator or prey. It seemed like whoever did this didn't discriminate. Their bodies were torn open, insides spilling onto the snow. Ribs were poking out, spines were exposed, and tufts of fur and feathers littered the ground. You felt sick to your stomach. A massacre, pools of blood tainting the snow.

Snow, something so beautiful and pure was now stained with the spilled blood of innocent creatures. You kept your gaze to the ground in front of you, silently weeping over all of these poor animals. You swallowed the bile that rose in your throat, its burn like acid.

When you eventually did raise your head, you saw someone. A man who had buried his sword into the chest of a wolf, twisting it and cracking its bones. He pulled the sword free and it dragged in the snow as he walked, leaving crimson streaks. His back was to you, thank the gods, but he just slowly went on.

You were frozen in place, your breath stopping in your throat as your heart beat faster. You couldn't move, you couldn't breath, you could only stand there, helplessly, wondering why he would do such a thing. Despite your brain screaming and yelling at you to turn back, your feet moved in his direction, following the bloody footprints he had left.

You tried your best to keep your eyes off the slaughtered creatures, focusing on his haunting silhouette instead. He came to a halt, letting go of his weapon which landed in the snow with a thud. He fell to his knees soon after, his shoulders sagging as his head fell forward. Sobs and cries racked through his body, making his form shake. You had the instinct to hold him, keep him close to your chest.

But he was a stranger, was he not? Cautiously, you stepped closer, hoping to not alert him of your presence. The hem of your skirt was now also stained with blood, leaving faint marks as it gently brushed against the surface of the snow. There was something so familiar about him, but the more you tried to think what it was, the hazier your mind got.

His cries were tugging at your heart uncomfortably, but you didn't know why. It was only when he cried out your name in pure agony that something in your mind clicked. It was your lover. The man you loved so deeply and fully that it hurt. The one you wanted to spend your entire life with. The one that you were devoted to so wholly. Without thinking, you breathlessly called out his name, making him freeze as a sob got caught in his throat.

His head whipped around, eyes wide and red, the tear streaks on his cheeks looking like they were beginning to crystallize from the bitter cold. "My love.. is that really you?" He breathed out, fully turning towards you, still on his knees. You could see the shock, the relief, and the excruciating pain in his eyes.

"Yes... why wouldn't it be..?" You brows were furrowed in concern. Why wouldn't it be you? What, in the Gods' name, was going on? Another sob tore through his chest as he reached out for your hands and pulled you down against his chest.

One arm was tightly wound around your waist while the other was gently stroking your damp hair. His face was buried in the crook of your neck as he continued his wailing cries. You could feel his hot tears running down your neck, despite it all, they felt freezing, sending shivers up your spine. Your hands found his cheeks and you softly pried his head from your neck.

"What's the matter, my darling?" Your voice soothed all of his aches and ailments. The gentleness it held was something he'd never experienced before. Until you. The tears spilled from his beautiful eyes still, even as he forced a wobbly smile onto his lips.

"I-I.. I thought I'd lost you.." he sighed, leaning into your touch. He looked so incredibly tired. Exhausted, really.

A soft, understanding smile settled on your face, though the furrow of your brows didn't waver. "You'll never lose me. I'll always find my way back to you. No matter what." The words pumped blood back into his cold heart. He sighed in relief, you could almost feel the heavy weight on his chest falling away for yourself. His eyes fell shut as he basked in the warming feeling of your touch, the pads of your thumbs stroking over his tear stained cheeks.

"I love you. With my whole being and soul do I love you. I'd carve out my heart if you'd ask me too." The confession made its way off his tongue with such ease, it had to be nothing but the truth.

When no response came and the warmth left his cheeks, he opened his eyes. Nothing. Absolutely nothing in front of him but the forest and the gruesome scene he had left behind. His blood froze in his veins. No. He searched for any indication of your presence. Footprints, kicked up snow or maybe a lingering warmth on his face. Nothing.

"No... No, no, no, no!" His heart-wrenching yell managed to shake the trees, dusting everything in a fresh layer of white. "Not again..." he sobbed, steadying myself with hid hands as he grasped at the snow where he was sure you had been. Trying to hold onto you desperately. He wailed and wept, clutching at his heart.

Had he gone mad and it was all a delusion? Or were you really here and someone took you away again? He couldn't tell. He only felt his heart shatter into a million shards again. He would scream for you until his throat was sore and his voice would give out. He had managed to lose you, the love of his life, twice in one lifetime.

His hands balled into fists as an overwhelming rage took over him. He would make them pay. He would hunt down the abominations that had cost him his love, and he would rain hellfire down upon them until they felt even a sliver of the pain that he had.

Picking himself up with a grunt and a scowl on his face, he reached for his sword. He tightly gripped the blood-soaked weapon and turned around to go down the path from wence he came. His gaze was stone cold as he walked past the field of death and destruction he had left.

He left his aching heart there in the cold, hoping you'd come back one day to keep it safe for him. But for now, he buried it deep in the snow where you were, vowing he would never feel that kind of agony again.

What he didn't know, however, was that you were always with him. Your ghastly pale and transparent hands were always reached out towards him or placed right above his heart.It pained you just as much when your touch would phase through him, the cruel reality twisting your heart.

So you went back to wander aimlessly around these endless woods, waiting for him to join you inevitably. You picked up his discarded heart and held it close to your chest, promising to give it back to him when the time came.

For now, you'd gently remind him of your presence with little breezes fanning over his cheeks, almost like a kiss and pleasant dreams, hoping to stitch up the gaping hole left in his chest.

You'd be together again. You'd wait eons for him because he would always return to you, just as you would to him.

Not even the thin veil of death could keep your souls apart.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

... *hands you a box of tissues and offers a hug* I'm sorry :(

#bumblebeesfromvenus #your favorite x reader #your fav x reader #character of your choice x reader #leon kennedy x reader #jason todd x reader #link x reader #linked universe x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #könig x reader #cod x reader

113 notes · View notes

maniculum · 4 months

Text

Bestiaryposting Results: Rabyeang

This one's posting a few hours later than usual, because due to various circumstances, we ended up recording an episode of the podcast this evening, so I didn't have time to get to it until now.

Anyway, odd and somewhat uncomfortable entry, some parts of it seem clear though. Genuinely interested to see what comes up because I haven't gotten around to checking in on it until right this moment.

Anyone who isn't sure what I'm talking about can find out at https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting.

The entry our artists are working from can be found here:

If you want to join in on drawing the next one, that entry can be found here:

Art is below the cut in the order in which it was posted.

@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) decided to go with an aquatic creature to make it easier for it to interact with lampreys, specifically a shark because they give live birth. I think the post here is pretty great, and including a lamprey is quite nice actually. Extremely cool-looking all around -- I encourage anyone reading this to check the linked post for a more detailed description of what's going on here and how the artist reached this design.

@cheapsweets (link to post here) has drawn two snakes in the act of twining around each other as the female bites the male's head off. Kind of like a caduceus that's gone wrong somehow. Going in a snake direction makes sense, and the entwined pose I think makes it work. They have also included a rather cute bonus sketch in the linked post along with the explanation of their design, which I encourage y'all to check out. (Also thank you for providing alt text.)

@coolest-capybara (link to post here) has made a very eye-catching but also somewhat... worrying creature by taking inspiration from Surinam toads and orchid mantises. The way those two inspirations are merged is really clever, I think, and as usual I love the medieval-inspired style. This is a creature I appreciate in drawing form but would probably find quite off-putting in real life, which I think is a sign of good design. (Also, thank you for providing alt text.)

That's it this time around, I'm afraid -- this particular entry doesn't seem to have sparked inspiration in many people. (Understandable.) So let's check in with the Aberdeen Bestiary.

So, as I'm sure you've all guessed from the highly accurate illustration, this is the viper.

(I'm getting increasingly curious about what the deal is with this very specific head design you see on so many medieval creatures.)

So yeah, the bit with the lamprey is presumably complicated by the fact that one is an aquatic creature and the other terrestrial -- breath is going to be a concern, at the very least.

I think knowing it's a viper explains a lot of the entry: in the medieval metaphorical space, a viper is of course Very Wicked, so they really run with that here.

I wasn't aware vipers gave live birth, so I Googled it (apparently they do), and interestingly one of the top results was this Quora post:

So apparently elements of this are still hanging around, if someone is asking on the Internet whether vipers really eat their way out of the mother. Also interestingly, the answer makes note of other medieval myths about vipers, including both the head-biting and the lamprey thing. (And also one that female vipers look human above the waist, which is a new one by me.) Instructional.

#maniculum bestiaryposting #rabyeang

22 notes · View notes

thswrtchdthng · 5 months

Note

your first mistake was giving me the green light on rambling about ultrakill

THE LORE OF ULTRAKILL HEAVILY SUMMARIZED:

mankind is dead. blood is fuel. hell is full.

THE LORE OF ULTRAKILL ONLY SLIGHTLY LESS SUMMARIZED (still very summarized and i might get some things wrong):

during ww1, various countries involved began developing machines that ran on blood. each new machine created was meant to be stronger than the last one. in the end, this led to the creation of the earthmover by japan, which was an absolutely giant machine. so large that people started living on top of them. before the war ended, only one machine was created, though it never got a chance to fulfill its purpose of defeating the earthmover: this machine was called v1, and its unique ability was to heal upon contact with blood from any source. when the war was over, a different version of v1, named v2, was created for the purpose of keeping peace. these are v1 and v2.

now, eventually, humanity discovered an entrence to hell. don't question it. also hell is a living organism.

then, somehow, humanity died. all of it. everyone was dead. and all that remained were the machines they'd created.

in ultrakill, a first-person shooter video game, you play as v1, and your goal is simple: blood. you just want more blood. and you are in hell. so you start ultrakilling everybody. it's also based on dante's inferno, so that's fun.

in the post i made, i said alice is like v2 to me. this is mostly because v2 is an important character, but not a very powerful boss fight, and alice is a very lore-relevant character, but not very high up on the corporate ladder. but also because v2's purpose was to maintain peace and order, but she didn't get to fulfill that purpose. everyone died. v2 is, even though she never admits or acknowledges it, very possibly the only machine with the capacity to truly miss humanity. idk why, but that reminds me a lot of alice dyer. make of that what you will.

now. the other character i mentioned is THE FERRYMAN. THIS GIRL->

basically ferrymen are sinners from the layer of wrath deemed worthy of redemption by heaven. they're tasked with carrying passengers through the afterlife. another fun bit of ferryman lore is that they all tear their skin off from shame, but heaven grants them a holy cloth to cover their faces. pretty simple, yeah? but this one looks a bit bored. probably because she was promised she could go to heaven if she carried enough passengers, but...no more passengers are coming through. because humanity is dead.

the ferryman is considered a slightly more difficult boss fight, or maybe just one slightly later in the game than both v2 fights (you fight v2 twice), but you can actually literally just. pay her to leave. toss some coins at her and you can literally just skip the fight.

i can't articulate why she reminds me of lena but. she does.

so anyways all of this and i haven't even gotten to gabriel. there is so much lore. there's an excellent video explaining all of it that i can send a link to if i've caught ur interest with this.

oh also a lot of people ship v2 and the ferryman.

oh also neither of them canonically go by she/her pronouns but it's a very very common headcanon, and i'm pretty sure hakita (the developer) gave a shout out to the she/her v2 headcanon specifically at some point.

I LOVE ULTRAKILL I THINK ULTRAKILL IS REALLY COOL!!!!!

okokok. several thoughts.

this seems so fucking cool????????? to the point that I might play it when I can get it

thoughts on shipping v1 and v2? cause from what you've said they sound quite shippable to me

if hell is a living organism, is it like,,,,consenting?? to be entered????? does it have a personality?????? that might just be my conceptum tendencies but,,,,,is hell like a character in itself (sort of)?? (the question here is can I romance hell or not, and does hell enjoy being entered)

if it's based on Dante's Inferno I already know I'm going to like it

v2 sounds extremely huggable. can I hug her?

and you're right that 'being the only one with the ability to miss humanity' gives Alice vibes for some reason

ferrymen sound so sad to me. can I hug them? and give them a little skincare?

the ferryman concretely is hot. is that alright to say? she sounds very interesting to talk to (do ferrymen talk? does anyone here talk?)

well everyone you've mentioned so far is hot to me tbh

who's gabriel? please please please send me that link I wanna know about them now. I've always had a complicated relationship with every archangel gabriel based thing/character (I have very passionate feelings towards biblical gabriel for some reason) so I'll probably love them

but yeah ultrakill sounds pretty cool! I'll probably look more into it in the future

#ask #💭👁️‍🗨️#ultrakill

26 notes · View notes

cinnamonest · 2 years

Note

Plsss!! You gotta do some more Modern Au albedo/Xiao/Kazuha ur literally the best at it 😭😭❤️❤️

I loved those posts, these atrocious boys with their (involuntary) gfs.

For this post I included some more general stuff (and I'm repeating/expanding upon previously mentioned things), but after rereading part of the camgirl post where it mentions promising to be a good bf, it got me thinking so I wanted to focus on the concept of each boy trying to be a "Good Boyfriend".

I'm also going off of the dynamics/darlings in these posts and mention some past ideas from them, but I made it so that you could either read it as those darlings or just a default darling, so you don't need to read the other posts, but I'll still link them:

(Xiao)

(Albedo)

(Kazuha)

Also preemptively yes they all have the same general reasoning for keeping you locked up, the boys think alike I stand by this

//also heavily gendered, some mildly sexist stuff bc modern AU incel culture (you know I'm right when I say Xiao probably pays for 4chan Pass and kazuha would be a white knight bless him), brief discussion of theoretical homicide

-------

When you first woke up here, Xiao promised to be a good boyfriend, and he tries his best to make good on that promise.

What do good boyfriends do? Well, he's been on the internet long enough and seen enough media to have some general idea. Good boyfriends buy gifts. Good boyfriends make food for their girlfriend. Good boyfriends make their girlfriends cum.

He gets you plenty of gifts. As soon as he brought you home, in fact, he bought a ton of various costumes and lingerie sets off the internet. He's spent a ton of money on it all, which you're supposed to, in turn, recognize the contributions he's put in for your sake and be happy.

He doesn't make food (he doesn't know how), but he always asks you what food you want delivered and always goes with what you want, so, same idea. A lot of girls on social media (he has gone out of his way to browse and gather observational evidence) seem to be fixated on the idea of breakfast in bed, so, he takes it upon himself to get some of those frozen sugary carbohydrate-packed breakfast packages you pop in the microwave from the store, and has them ready as you're waking up one day. He doesn't have a tray or plates, though, so he just has to take apart the cardboard box they came in and use that as a substitute, but it works.

And you do get to cum. He stakes a great deal of his own pride on that... so he makes sure it's lots and lots of times per day. Even if you protest at first, even if you say you can't anymore. It's still a good thing, so, even if you're not wanting it in the moment, he's supposed to do that anyway, that makes sense. He should be recognized for his efforts, really, because he refuses to use any aid of anything that isn't attached to his own body, only fingers and tongue and cock and never anything that isn't attached to his own body.

Granted, there are other pieces of advice commonly suggested as components of being a "good" boyfriend, like... letting you be independent, listening to your side of arguments and not interrupting.

But his favorite frequented forums have very specifically made it clear that this is beta male behavior. So, no way is he going to engage in such a thing. If you want to be listened to, don't say dumb things. Simple. He would listen to you and not interrupt you if you weren't being dumb and wrong and bringing up things he specifically told you not to. Why do you do that? You're supposed to not do things when he says not to.

It's sort of a cognitive dissonance, but he tends to take things he's read online on completely opposite ends of the spectrum and use both as guidelines. Yes, he's supposed to do all this stuff for you, and buy you things and be nice to you and compliment you (he manages to do so, albeit stutters and can't look you in the eye to do so), and all that. But at the same time, he has had enough of... unpleasant content funneled into his brain from years of being chronically online, to the extent that he also engages in complete opposite behavior too.

You've gotten into quite a few arguments over time pertaining to why you can't be allowed to go out. You even have the audacity to want to go out by yourself, claiming that since he is so averse to going outside, he might as well just stay in while you go for a walk and question why you can't do so, if you have something tracking you.

Well, for starters, even if he could trust you not to go to law enforcement, you would probably cheat with some random stranger. Not that you can be blamed for that, it's like animal instinct in some people, but unfortunately you are just especially impulsive. Of course, you argue against this and say that's preposterous, but this is because likewise, you are naturally inclined to lie. And when you get increasingly frustrated at these statements, that is due to you being overly-emotional and far too sensitive. Typical. But you see, that is why he has to do the best thing for you, even if you're upset about it, and keep you inside.

In fact, a significant portion of being a good boyfriend means sometimes doing things that make you upset, because it's what's best for you. This can be difficult, as it invokes overreactions from you and you get very mad and mean.

It's quite unfair, really, that being a good boyfriend requires so much effort. Being a good girlfriend is so easy. Being nice and sweet and never ever disagreeing with anything he says and never being mean and having sex at any moment takes so little effort. But he does it out of love, which makes the burden worthwhile.

You clearly do a lot of things voluntarily, though. He never told you you have to clean, but you nonetheless do on your own volition. One day (a good behavior day, being allowed to roam the whole apartment) you stomped into the kitchen and returned with a trash bag, and began shoveling all the empty bottles and takeout boxes and plastic forks and disposable chopsticks and crumbled papers and old receipts and empty packages and amazon envelopes and... well, you get the idea. All the accumulated stuff, and you got it all into a few trash bags. Of course, he had to hover over you the whole time, making sure you didn't dispose of anything important--

Don't throw that away. I need it.

It's literally broken in half.

I can still use it.

--And that you don't waste anything--

Don't. There's over half the bag left.

They were on the floor and already opened. The expiry date is from last year.

They're still good. I'll eat them.

No you will NOT.

--But eventually, you get it all cleaned up. It feels like having a new room... you can see the floor now.

He likes the domestic vibe of having you cleaning and all, but it also gets a bit irritating when you start nagging about it. But still, he tolerates that, because that's what he's supposed to do, it's part of good relationships and stuff. He also tolerates a surprising amount of things, increasingly so over time, provided you frame it as concern.

You've forced him into a somewhat consistent sleep schedule, albeit not a healthy one, but still, you made him agree to a standard of not staying up longer than 24 hours at a time. As well as a couple other standards that you insisted were out of concern, and, well, when you put it like that, you're trying to be good for him and showing concern for his well-being which is very nice, so if he tries his best to abide by your wishes, then that should make you pleased. Showering at least every other day, limiting the caffeine consumption (in truth, he often just drinks it while you're asleep, but you don't know that so it doesn't count), and not eating perishable food if he can't remember how long it's been sitting out.

It's not pleasant, and it's frustrating to have to abide by such arbitrary regulations, but you're trying your best to be good and do your part and care for him. If he didn't show some appreciation for that, you would be more likely to not put in any effort to be good in other matters. So, it's best to comply. Besides, it's kind of nice when you tell him that this or that isn't good for his health or organs or whatever, it sounds like you really do care, which is a pleasant thought. It also puts more pressure on him to continue to be good so that you continue to be good, he views it like some sort of back-and-forth exchange, a calculated effort.

And with that, there's one other thing, though, that's bothering him. One facet that he keeps ignoring, despite knowing it's standard for "good boyfriend" criteria.

Good boyfriends plan out and pay for dates.

Which he has neglected, for obvious reasons. But no one is perfect, right? You're mean sometimes, so you're not exactly being the ideal girlfriend either. And he's done a pretty good job with everything else.

But you bring it up. You keep begging to go outside, say you won't try anything, that it doesn't matter if it's just for a few minutes, that you're going to go insane if you have to stay in here much longer. While this is obviously exaggeration due to hysteria, seeing as he never leaves and he's perfectly fine, it does stay in the back of his mind that appeasing this desire of yours might earn favor from you and make you happy, which in turn has benefits on his end. Eventually, the more you ask, the closer you get to him giving in, until one day he finally does, much to your surprise.

Fine. There's a cafe type of place at the bottom of the apartment complex. You can go there together, for a short time. Not very long. And... you have to wait a few days, because you have no clothes that aren't far too obscene to wear in public, so, he'll have to order something off the internet for you. But no talking to anyone the whole time, and if you try anything you'll go back immediately, and so on and so on, all these regulations he keeps repeating over and over.

You're too ecstatic to really listen. You didn't actually think you'd get this far... and in truth, you know better than to try anything to escape or something like that, you're just genuinely happy to get out. You practically go bounding down the hallway when that day comes. It almost doesn't even feel real, you've been away from public so long that it almost feels foreign... but here you are.

It's one of those versatile places, with coffees and teas and fruit drinks and cream sodas and pretty much anything you could think of. He tells you to get whatever you want (this will in turn lead to increased happiness, whereas denying you anything could potentially upset you and thereby ruin the purpose of the venture), so you intend get something you really like in the largest size possible. He trails right behind you the whole time.

You can be the one to talk to the cashier. I'll allow it.

Aren't you just saying that because you don't want to?

Just do it.

He doesn't really like tea or coffee or anything of the sort, so, he grabs one of those little box containers of sweetened milk with the bendy straws they have for kids. And scowls when you cover your mouth and chortle at it.

You can tell he's extremely uncomfortable. You can imagine a shut-in would be. There's bright daylight all around, there's people all around. He still doesn't sit down, instead following you over to the counter where they have all the extra packets of cream and sugar and straws and napkins and stuff, clinging to your sleeve. It feels less like a date and more like having a shy kid following their big sibling around, even as you go to sit down.

He stays jittery, uneasy. Shifting around awkwardly, looking all around. You quietly wait for the complaints and grumbling to begin, knowing full well this was just to placate you.

But those complaints don't come. He just sits there quietly. Lets you talk. Doesn't say much himself, he's far too uneasy and nervous and overwhelmed by the noise and crowdedness for that, but doesn't complain about any of it. Doesn't start pushing you to go back within a few minutes, which you were expecting and prepared yourself for. Just quietly shifts around and looks around, responding to you with one-word answers and nods.

You don't talk about anything in particular, the sort of empty conversation (if it can be called that, with you doing the entirety of the talking) that you will forget within a few hours. You almost expect something to go wrong, even, as if someone you knew from before will show up and recognize you, or something will happen to cause a scene, but nothing does. And likewise, you find yourself pleasantly surprised by the lack of grouchy commentary you had anticipated.

It's because... you look really happy. You really brighten up and seem so much more energetic than you normally do. In truth, it does hurt a bit that you seem so much happier right now than you do the rest of the time, but normal people are like that, he thinks, they need to go out and do stuff like this to be content. So, maybe if you do this regularly enough, you'll even be happier when you are back at home, in the comforting familiar dark environment.

Maybe he doesn't even need the transactional benefits he initially had hoped for... the thought of you being happier because of something he did is enough to be satisfied. It makes him feel all warm and fuzzy that you're smiling and chattering away and sound so happy.

...But, uh, you've been here an hour now. Being around so many people is draining him like a dying battery. He still doesn't say anything, but you can see the fidgeting. You would like to stay longer, but... you're in a good mood now, and that makes you less argumentative and bitter and stubborn than you usually would be. Not to mention, this whole thing has admittedly greatly diminished your resentment, so you do have more empathy for him that you usually would, so you take it upon yourself to say well, I guess we should be getting back... You've never seen a person move so fast to get out the door of a public place.

And it works. You are happier, even when you return. You don't even go over to the other side of the room and lay down, instead choosing to come over to the desk and sit on his lap (!!!), facing towards him and resting your head on his shoulder (!!!!!), wrapping your arms around his body (!!!!!!!!), and all that. You sit quietly for a while. You're nervous to ask, almost don't want to out of fear of a negative answer, but finally manage to force yourself to ask if you can ever do this again sometime.

But he sighs, grumbles, but still says fine. Just not more than like, once a month or so. Maybe twice. But he can't handle more than that. It would probably kill him from the spike in heart rate and blood pressure. No that's not being dramatic and it's not an exaggeration, people do die that way you know. It could happen. You're laughing. He could literally, realistically die, and you're laughing. Ugh.

-------

Kazuha really cares about being a model boyfriend.

He already tries to be and considers himself a really good guy, which is already an advantageous trait, he thinks. Most guys are really awful, but not him! He's one of the good ones. He would never ever be mean to a girl, doesn't engage in tasteless jokes, doesn't talk badly about any girl. Girls are great. They're strong and smart and smell nice and are all so pretty and have nice thighs and chests that are nice to look at (in a respectful way and not an objectifying way!) so of course he's very very kind to all.

He's nice and not sexist because he's just a good person like that and not at all out of desire for brownie points and favor from you. And for that matter, he has ALWAYS stood up for random girls online as any good person would do. Being called a simp is just a way to know you're doing the right thing.

This all puts him far above the average guy (the average man is horrible for a ton of reasons that don't apply to him because he is Not Like The Other Guys and thereby better, which is something he can be proud of). He is very adamant to remind you of all of this.

Even now that you don't really have any other options anyway, trapped in his living space. Still, it can't hurt to ensure you know that he cares so much and is fully dedicated and loyal because that could earn some favor from you. After all, there's a chance you could get the wrong idea about all of this, and think of him as some sort of selfish, deranged pervert -- and he can totally understand how you could misinterpret it that way! Really, yes, it's understandable that you might come to that conclusion at first, but that actually is not the case at all and he wouldn't want that misunderstanding to occur. He's actually very selfless and has only your best interest in mind.

Which is why he has to be really good to you. Not that he wouldn't anyway, but he's just focusing on that to ensure you don't accidentally think badly of him, or think that taking you away and keeping you here is an act of selfishness on his part (because it's actually the opposite).

So he has to try very hard to be the ideal boyfriend. He, too, bases this concept on what he has read and otherwise seen presented as such over the years.

Firstly, making time for you, and ensuring you're his priority. His routine varies due to having a class schedule. You've learned the pattern that on Mondays and Wednesdays and Fridays he leaves a lot earlier than he does on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and he has short breaks throughout the day in between classes, unlike with someone who works a straight 9-5 or the like. So, he comes back a few times a day, rather than just being gone all day and returning in the evening.

Even if the gap between the class he just got out of and the next class is over half an hour, he'll come back to see you, since he lives right next to the campus. You'll be going about your day doing whatever you're allowed, hear the door creak open, and he comes rushing down the stairs. Even if it's just for five minutes, he'll still come back to you, talk to you until he has to leave again. Making sure you feel paid attention to.

And he knows that the place he lives in itself is a bit dreary. It's actually probably more spacious than the average college student's apartment, but that positive is very quickly outweighed by the lack of windows, being a basement. He tries to make up for this by having those strip-tape colored LED lights all over the place (they look cool right??) and leaving the TV running for background noise quite often. Making sure you have entertainment and light is only the least he can do to express his care for your mental health.

Oh, and of course, he makes or brings you food every day. He's gotten really good at making breakfast foods, usually prepares them ahead of time, and makes smoothies and the like, and he does always get you one too (yours is not the same thing though, his is special... he's been making the protein smoothies for months, so any day now he's going to get big muscly arms like he's been hoping to. You'll see).

Gifts are important. One of the more problematic factors in this is that he's kind of... broke. So, he does what he can, although in his head it does make him paranoid that he feels like he's not doing enough, not buying expensive enough things. Still, he scrapes his funds together for gifts, although you might not see it that way. Sure, he does get you some things like clothes and cute things (you eventually had to tell him to stop getting you stuffed animals after he brought home so many you don't have space for them). But a lot of his gifts are fun things you can use together, AKA just vibrating toys he buys online and a wide variety of high-quality S/M paraphernalia that he may or may not have drawn money out of his savings account for.

He can make up for his lack of significant funding, though, with other means. There are lots of things that go into being a good boyfriend. Like, uh... well, he did used to like every post you made on social media, but you two came to a mutual agreement together after a lot of healthy calm discussion like a good boyfriend would engage in, that it would be for the best if you don't have a phone anymore.

He explained his reasoning very politely and respectfully, that it's not good for your mental health. Lots of bad news out there in the world that would just be depressing, and even if he cancelled your actual phone service, there are just so many apps out there these days that allow you to communicate with people online and contact people and there's no way he could ever find every single one to block your access, so, since you're impulsive and might talk to people and tell them very personal things that shouldn't get out, it's for your own good. Oh, and the blue light too, not good for your eyes you know.

You didn't necessarily agree with his reasoning, and complained quite a bit, got yourself all worked up. And he did listen to you, of course, not interrupting or talking over you like bad guys tend to do, and uh, what's the terminology people use...? Right, he, ah, validated your feelings, gave you room to speak your thoughts, made sure to communicate healthily (not that he's entirely sure what that means, but he was honest and kept calm so that probably qualifies). The things you're supposed to do.

But that doesn't necessarily mean he has to give in or compromise or anything. No, technically, that would be a bad boyfriend too, if he just let you do whatever you wanted, when what you want is not what's best for you. The term is "tough love" or something like that. But you did eventually accept it which means you at least agree to the condition, even if you don't agree with the reasoning.

It just took time and continuously explaining the reasoning to you even when he already did that a hundred times and you won't stop bringing it up and one day he's finally had enough of it so the only way you'll get it through your head and stop throwing tantrums is to make you understand.

Well, no, no, he would never really hurt you. This is just corporeal punishment, and while it's not nice, it's ultimately out of love, such things are necessary sometimes. And besides, the tools he bought are intended for this exact purpose, so its appropriate and not something risking injury, although it does leave welts and bruises. Still, it's out of care, and he holds you close and kisses your forehead and rubs your back while you cry afterwards.

And to make up for the times when he has to be mean (only because you force him to be), he tries his best to make you happy because that's what's really important. And what's more fun than spending a lot of time together?

You would call it being smothered, though, although you're never really in the mood to try and be mean to him about it and risk having welts for a week... again. Besides, it offers some entertainment from the otherwise dull, boring hellscape that is life whenever he's gone. At least when he's here, it makes things a bit more interesting than watching stuff alone.

A rather cute thing (at least, it would be if things were normal) is that he tends to have very clean, and sometimes juvenile tastes in media. He prefers games, movies and shows that have very low content ratings for age-appropriateness, rarely anything that you wouldn't be comfortable showing a ten-year-old. His shows of preference are usually those "cartoon intended for kids but gained a solid adult fanbase as well" types of shows, and the games he plays are usually simulators and strategies rather than anything particularly violent.

None of that is a bad thing, of course, but it can get a bit dull over time, and you do sometimes express a desire to do maybe something a little different. Which he happily complies with, of course, because it would be terrible of him to be so selfish as to not be willing to let you share your interests. So he often lets you pick what to watch for the evening. One time you forced him to sit through a horror film and you're pretty sure you scarred him for life, seeing as he was the one clinging to you throughout most of it.

Perhaps the most important aspect of goodness, though, is your interactions. Those are paramount, ensuring that every talk you have is, uh, healthy... is that the word? Pretty sure that's the word. He's seen people say that before.

He's very nice. Listens to you even when you're being mean. That's part of the deal, right? That he's supposed to listen and hear you out even when he'd rather not because you don't deserve it and you're being ridiculous-- but still, he listens, because he's just really, really good and so much better than anyone other person you could have, who would probably have shut you up several minutes ago but here he is clenching his jaw and fist and forcing himself to let you talk anyway because he's so so so good and has so much self-control and would never be one of those guys that would lose his temper so easily! Haha.

Not that he has no limits, no, not if you just keep going and going being so mean and mouthy and eventually you cross some line or push him over the edge. But he's not someone who would yell or anything, no, he's better than that. He's very collected and firm about it, doesn't have some outburst or explosive anger, just... does what he has to. You're all worked up and have all this pent up emotion and stress and frustration and maybe another caning or fucking your throat will help you get that out cathartically. Again, you may not like it, but it's about what's best for you overall.

It's also very very important to take care of you afterwards. He gets you baths and food and gives you words of comfort. See, that's another area where he's definitely doing better than other guys who are selfish and lazy.

...And likewise, he also realizes that he's missing the critical element of going out. The best boyfriends (as per his analysis from lots of past social media scrolling) usually plan really nice dates and stuff, there's all sorts of popular forms of this, like movies and fairs and zoos and coffee shops and so on.

Unfortunately, that's... well, that's just not realistic. You're just not ready for that yet. Maybe one day you will be! Just... very, very far off in the future. He would like that one day, you could go do fun things. But for now, he has to prioritize your health and well-being, and make judgements based on that, so, although it pains him, he's willing to stay home all the time since it's what you really need, even if you don't understand that.

In the end, he's actually probably the least compromising on that regard. But that's fair because he compromises all the time.

Compromises have to be made sometimes on your end, right? And, well, he's been doing so good in all other areas, putting in so much effort, that it's only fair you compromise with him every now and then. That's... that's part of relationships, isn't it? He's always heard that said. He gives into your wishes a lot, so... you know, he's not being demanding or controlling or anything like that, no, he's just asking that you compromise this time around.

And try to be understanding, see things from his perspective and really listen, be entirely honest... the way he always does for you.

------

On the far opposite end, Albedo has never really placed any importance on conforming to societal expectations, or the cultural standard of "good." He prefers to approach things in a manner based on the conclusions he forms himself, after reflecting on the matter for a while.

He's always been so busy, never had time to have a relationship before, so he does have to really think through the matter, as it's new to him. He does care for you, of course, so his primary desire is for you to be healthy and avoid unnecessary distress or pain. Granted, when going through the matter in his head, he does feel that he would like for you to be happy, but... well, he realizes that it's probably a bit too early to have that as a goal, because if he aims for that now, he's bound to end up disappointed, given how resistant you are.

Besides, to care for another's wellbeing is the basis of affection, isn't it? So even if it takes some time, you will understand his efforts to care for you as such. That's all he really needs to do, follow his own guidelines. Societal and cultural ones are pointless, and he doesn't feel any guilt or like he's doing something incorrectly by not doing so (unlike the aforementioned individuals).

In fact, that ties to another aspect of his personality. He's one of those people that can be very quiet for a long time, but if you prompt him to speak on a topic of interest, he can suddenly go on a whole long spiel... and one thing he could ramble about is a distaste for modernity and common culture and social settings.

People are so obsessed with material things, hedonistic tendencies, a culture that encourages rapid consumption of new things and riding out thrills only to discard them when the newness wears off... including people.

He's quiet enough that people tend to disregard his presence if he's just sort of quietly going about his work, which has allowed him to overhear a lot of conversations regarding the messy, dysfunctional relationships of some of the people he works alongside. A lot of them get abandoned by significant others, very few seem to be in relationships that last, it's mostly just people hopping from one person to the next... is that really normal for, you know, normal people? If so, you've probably been influenced by that too, probably had friends like that or seen it happening around you and it's been normalized to you.

Which is how he explains his justification for keeping you, when you start to argue against it. All things considered, stable relationships are better in the long-run, but you're very unwise and impulsive and would just make mistakes you'd regret (like leaving him for someone else) if he were to extend any autonomy to you. Well... more realistically, the primary issue is you'd go to the police, but he's talking in hypotheticals and the bigger picture of your life and all that. Maintaining control over you may upset you, but it's in your best interest, which you're incapable of making decisions for yourself.

He has no desire to follow norms. Not in terms of a relationship, nor any official acknowledgement of a relationship either. What matters is the strength of care and affection and unity between two people, and his for you is to the utmost, so that's all that really matters.

Being what the current culture considers a "good partner" would require a lot of compromising and sacrificing to meet you halfway and give in to some of what you want, among other things he has no intention of doing. He's content with the idea that showing affection in his own way will gradually lead you to accept him more. No need for the additional effort of jumping through arbitrary hoops to earn some recognition or gratitude -- which you probably wouldn't give anyway. Even if he did put in all that effort (which, by the way, would also mean swallowing quite a bit of pride to "compromise" with you), you would still keep a bad attitude for the time being, he's fairly certain.

And another matter, the reason he can't "compromise" with you is simply that his decisions are right and yours almost always tend to reflect on your complete lack of understanding of things. Why would he compromise with you when you're simply wrong? That's unreasonable.

Besides, given the... nature of your relationship and dynamic, being so different from that of two normal people, it goes without saying that you can't apply unfitting rules to a unique situation they don't align with. For example, one common standard is going out on dates, presumably that he'd pay for... but, that's not exactly feasible, for obvious reasons, even aside from his dislike of such environments.

Rather than being lazy and careless, he instead puts a lot of effort and finances and care into ensuring your security and well-being, investing a lot of money into a unique security system that cost great deal more than average due to very advanced features. Cameras, sensors, and most importantly, an alert to his phone every time a door or window to the outside is opened. Gets good food for you to make (please, he's very very busy, it would be nice and give you something to do too, he's sustained himself off of microwave food for years now due to lack of time so having you to do so is really helpful...) and admittedly does spend generous amounts of money on things for you to do to occupy your time. So in terms of domestic matters, he would say he's meeting what he thinks is good.

The social norms for courtship are also largely pointless. What, go out on dates? To do what? Most movies are mindless entertainment and not worth wasting time on. Pretty much any other venue is going to be loud and crowded. There is absolutely no reason you can't experience the exact same bonding, perhaps more even, inside in the nice, quiet environment of his apartment.

That environment becomes suffocating for you, though. You go through a regular routine. He gets one of those stipends to fund his expenses, so he doesn't have to work a separate job, thankfully. Lab research has set times, though, so it's sort of like working, he's just gone for a portion of the day and comes back in the afternoon. Then, it's just doing whatever for the rest of the day, usually you trying to entertain yourself while he works and types away.

It's not always work, though. One rather unpleasant thing you really wish he wouldn't do is that he seems determined to scour the corners of the internet for anything related to you. He already stole your phone when you were brought here, got all your logins and accounts to all sorts of websites, your search history, everything, and now stays logged into your accounts on his computer (via VPN, of course, he's not so careless as to risk someone taking notice and being traced back to him).

He just goes through everything. Everything. Every little comment you've ever made across different websites, everything you've ever searched, every site you've ever visited, people and accounts you followed. It feels very uncomfortable, a violation of privacy. And, well, who hasn't made at least one comment on an anonymous site that they'd be embarrassed to have attached to their real selves? Unfortunately you never realized just how many until now, that he keeps bringing them, along with other snippets from your digital footprint, up to you.

I see that on September 6th of last year, it seems you posted this rather vague statement to your account. What did that mean exactly?

I'm cross-referencing your following list across a few different platforms and noticed an outlier you only have added to one account. Who is this?

The app won't allow me to scroll back any further in this conversation you were having. Is there a way to view even older messages or...?

You always grind your teeth. It's not even important!, you say. It really isn't. None of this information is anything particularly relevant to... well, anything. Sure, you already knew he's sort of obsessed with learning about your life prior to him, but he already learned everything you would have thought important ages ago. All the major details of your life, where you went to school and who your friends and family members and all that are and your relationship to most people you regularly spoke to, he already has all of that. At this point he's just going through pointless details. Why on earth would he care about the random searches you've made, or a comment you left on a video years ago?

It just interests me.

So he says. While it baffles you, you have to deal it, and with the irritation of being frequently asked questions about meaningless searches and comments and posts dating back years. You've gotten over the initial embarrassment of it, now it's just annoying. He questions you about things as if you would remember why you made a search for this or that five years ago. Always asking who people are and what was your connection to them. Criticizing your viewing habits - you wasted so much time watching pointless videos. You eventually it's better not to argue against that, lest you get the speech on how such stimuli will ruin your attention span and slowly kill your brain or something like that, you don't really know, you always stop listening after a while.

That ties into another very, very, very quickly irritating thing: he cannot intake any piece of media non-critically.

He's actually rather pretentious about it, but in a subtle way. He'll come back in the afternoon to you watching whatever show you've chosen to stream as your daily entertainment. He walks through the door, leans over and looks at the screen for a moment.

Yeah, that does seem like something you would enjoy.

What? What does that mean?

Oh, nothing.

You have to learn to bite your tongue. Sometimes you try to get him to relax instead of being so stressed out from working, get him to actually watch something with you, but he tends to be critical of that too -- one of those people that feels the need to point out physics inaccuracies in everything. You tend to get a bit worked up over the irritation. Yes I know it doesn't work like that, it's not supposed to be accurate it's supposed to be entertaining! Just watch the damn movie! Ugh!

Not that it's the only matter he can be pretentious about. Even that one time you tried to be nice (as part of the 'I'm never getting out of here so I might as well try to bond' mental crisis process you go through a few times a day) and asked him about the research he's always working on.

Well, this is the sort of thing that would be over your head. You'd just get confused if I tried to explain it to you.

You scowl and groan. He just sighs. He's just being honest, you know.

See, like everything else, part of being "good" per the standards of current popular culture would be to be mindful of and navigate around your tendency for sensitivity. Which is nonsensical. There's no point in sugar-coating things when communicating directly and straightforwardly works more efficiently.

He doesn't really make an active effort to do the opposite, no, it's not like he's coarse and abrasive, but he just makes no effort to adjust his tendency to be somewhat blunt when discussing various matters. He already has to do enough of the whole overly-cautious, careful with every word thing in the professional setting all the time. It's nice to have someone he can just be very straightforward with, which is what comes much more naturally to him.

Besides, having to walk on eggshells and watch everything you say around the person you're partnered to would be exhausting. And... it's dishonest, you know? No matter how you look at it, dishonesty is poor behavior. Honesty is a better, more respectable quality, even if you might not like honesty all the time.

The unfortunate thing is that him having no filter on what he says means he can be a bit condescending. It just comes out naturally.

He likes you, of course, but at the end of the day he still has this mentality that seems so condescending, like you're dumb and emotional. He once told you you were being hysterical when you were having one of your regular episodes of crying and sniffling whilst trying to argue about your situation, and admittedly the resulting outburst you had probably didn't help change his mind. It's a cycle; being treated in such an infantilizing way often makes you more upset, thereby more emotional, and then your emotional outbursts thereby only validate and justify treating you as such.

He tends to assume a lot of things about you, too. You complain about being bored? Well, you're probably used to instant gratification and stimulus, probably addicted to your phone and social media and the like. It's doubtful that you've ever really been all that productive. It's a very common phenomenon these days, people who don't really do anything important (like you) get swallowed up into mindless entertainment.

Luckily for you, he provides you with a lifestyle where you don't have to be productive, which is quite benevolent. And you're now whining about being assigned to some task? Well, you've probably never had to really work for anything before. After all, you could always just get anything you want handed to you by being sweet and nice, surely you would never understand what it means to have had to put effort into anything. And any emotional reactions or outbursts you have in response are basically just confirmation that he's right, you know.

This bluntness, though, does end up causing one particularly upsetting incident. You've been in a bad mood, are getting so exasperating again with how you're being grouchy and mean and resentful. You're mad at him for doing something or another, and you do what you always do when you're mad -- resort to not-so-subtly implying the future spells an end for him. In truth, it used to bother him a lot, it would make him paranoid, which you probably picked up on and is why you continue to do it, always going for the same lines each time. One of these days, someone's gonna come knocking on that door, one day someone will find me--

And you're at it again, even more whiny than usual, pacing around the room while he works on some paper or another. You've been on this campaign lately to try and get him to let you search your name online, see what is being said by your local news and the like. Perhaps telling you that there hadn't been anything published in a while, and thereby accidentally inadvertently admitting to regularly performing that exact search himself, was a poor idea, as you caught it and have refused to let the matter go ever since. And he's trying to concentrate on his own work, and perhaps that's why he's a bit even more unfiltered than usual.

People are still looking for me! I know my friends and family would never give up trying to find me. They're looking for me.

The keyboard keeps clacking, but he doesn't miss a beat.

Your body.

You pause for a moment.

...Huh?

He speaks very matter-of-factly, fingers tapping away on the keyboard as he speaks, not even looking up at you.

They're looking for your body. They've most likely changed their search locations by now to nearby areas that would be ideal for someone to dump human remains.

For a moment, you just stand still, slack-jawed and wide eyed before finally losing your temper--

You're horrible! How can you say something like that?! I... I...

--but you quiet down, biting your lip, sinking downward and pulling your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them. A few more seconds pass.

Statistically speaking, it would be very unlikely for you to be alive at this point.

I know.

So from an outside perspective, it would simply be a more realistic use of time and resources to--

I get it!

You have to bite your tongue when he sighs, as if you're being unreasonable. You let a few more seconds pass, grinding your teeth at that annoying keyboard sound until you speak again.

Are you trying to get me to be grateful? Feel like I'm lucky because you *aren't* the kind of psycho to kill me?

He just shrugs, still doesn't look up.

No. You ended up here with me, so you certainly aren't very lucky at all.

You groan, letting your head fall down onto your knees. At least his honesty is consistent.

#kzha fighting for his life in the replies section of an OF egirl's twitter defending women #'actually no woman has ever done anything wrong ever i will explain (1/36)'#pickme boy fr fr #also xao unironically thinks of himself as a sigma male im not apologizing for being right #and frequently uses incel lingo in real life verbal conversations #has definitely called you a normie but over something very concerning like the fact that you want daily showers is normie behavior to him #.x #.al #.kz #.modern #oh and im alive!#I would say 'alive and well' but im not actually well bc it turns out my kidneys arent functioning which is kind of very not well #but it turned out to be entirely treatable so soon it will all be over and i'll be back to normal #the universe thinks a little organ malfunction is going to stop me from posting?? hah

288 notes · View notes