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paullassiterca · 6 years

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A Tesla for Less Than $10,000?

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Buying a Tesla new will set you back anywhere from $42,900 to $137,000, depending on which model you choose.1 The Model S, Tesla’s midpriced sedan, starts at $85,000, but Rich Benoit, a 30-something father of three and IT worker, got one for $6,500. It’s the topic of his now infamous YouTube page, Rich Rebuilds, which has racked up more than 39 million views.2

The sought-after electric cars have been growing in popularity along with the U.S. electric vehicle industry, which experienced an 81 percent jump in sales in 2018 compared to the year before.3

Tesla was responsible for more than half of these sales, selling nearly 140,000 of its lower cost Model 3 units alone. When sales of the Model 3 are removed, the statistics show a very different picture, with just 11 percent growth in the entire electric vehicle market.4

It’s safe to say that consumers are on the hunt for lower priced electric cars — but Benoit’s cost is virtually unheard of. So how did he get an $85,000 vehicle for a fraction of the cost? As The Boston Globe reported, it started when “He pulled a 1,300-pound, 400-volt battery out of a Tesla that had been under water.“5

Man Rebuilds Tesla From Salvage Yard — With No Help From Tesla

Benoit purchased a Model S that he calls “Delores” from a New Jersey salvage yard. The vehicle had been stuck in a flood, but the amateur mechanic was undeterred, determined to rebuild the car from the ground up, starting with removing its massive battery. But he was quickly met with a number of obstacles, not the least of which was Tesla’s reluctance to help anyone fix their cars.

Massachusetts has a Right to Repair Initiative, which grants vehicle owners access to information to help them fix their own cars — the same type of information furnished to dealerships and repair shops. However, since Tesla doesn’t have any dealerships, it’s exempt from this requirement.

"We’re in a society where if you need to know something you Google it, but there was nothing out there, no one who knew how to fix them,” Benoit told the Globe. But this was only the first obstacle. After stripping the car of its damaged parts and electronics, he contacted Tesla to order new ones, and was quickly turned away.

“Tesla does not want anyone working on its cars besides Tesla, and it refused to sell Benoit the parts he wanted,” according to the Globe. “A Tesla representative, in a statement to the Globe, said ‘there are significant safety concerns when salvaged Teslas are repaired improperly or when Tesla parts are used outside of their original design intent, as these vehicles could pose a danger to both the mechanic and other drivers on the road.’”6

One Year and $6,500 Rebuilds Tesla Model S

Since he was unable to buy parts from Tesla or anywhere else, he found another salvaged Model S, this one with usable electronics and batteries. Using the parts, he was able to slowly but surely piece Delores back together, documenting his journey on YouTube at every step of the way.

It took about a year, but the restored vehicle ultimately passed state inspection and looked like new. After tallying up his costs, including those he was able to recoup by selling duplicate and extra parts, he paid only $6,500 for the car. The story continues, however, as Benoit now helps other Tesla owners interested in fixing their cars.

Tesla has a limited number of service centers and reportedly struggles with parts shortages, and now Benoit is opening a new repair shop solely for electric vehicles — and even has a former Tesla mechanic to work there.

It’s a boon for Tesla owners, who often complain they have to wait months to find a mechanic who can service their vehicle — and when they do may be charged upward of $175 an hour.7 Ultimately, he hopes the service center will also be a place to educate owners about electric vehicles and even convert gas-powered vehicles to electricity.

“It has been a long, complicated, strange trip since he opened that waterlogged battery, wondering if he was about to electrocute himself. And despite all of the ups and downs, he insists he is not at war with Tesla. 'Maybe I was for a few weeks after they wouldn’t sell me the parts,’ he says. No, this is a love story, of how a man who says he has gas in his veins decided to go electric,” the Globe wrote.8

Electric Cars Cost Less to Make and Service

Analysts believe the electric vehicle industry is going to continue to grow in 2019, with more manufacturers and models entering the mix.

Chris Nelder, manager of Rocky Mountain Institute’s mobility practice, told Green Tech Media, “I don’t think 2019 is going to be all about the Model 3. There are a lot more manufacturers making a lot more EVs … In 2019, we’re going to have much more significant participation from other major manufacturers, especially in the high-end luxury crossover/SUV segment.”9

The growth may be so explosive that Morgan Stanley estimated 3 million traditional auto industry jobs could be lost over the next three to five years as a result.10 In fact, it’s estimated that it takes 30 percent less labor to manufacture an electric vehicle than a gas-powered one, with some estimates putting it up to a 50 percent cut.

Maintenance and servicing of electric vehicles is also less costly, which could heighten the demand for them even further, especially once service centers become widespread.

Are There EMF Concerns in Electric Cars?

Electric cars appear to be a clear winner for the environment, although there are a few considerations, such as the rare minerals that must be mined for the batteries and the need in some areas to power your “electric” car from a power plant using coal. However, another potential concern is exposure to electromagnetic fields (EMFs).

According to Joel Moskowitz, Ph.D., director of the Center for Family and Community Health at the University of California (UC) Berkeley:11

“Hybrid and electric cars may be cancer-causing as they emit extremely low frequency (ELF) electromagnetic fields (EMF). Recent studies of the EMF emitted by these automobiles have claimed either that they pose a cancer risk for the vehicles’ occupants or that they are safe.

Unfortunately, much of the research conducted on this issue has been industry-funded by companies with vested interests on one side of the issue or the other which makes it difficult to know which studies are trustworthy.

Meanwhile, numerous peer-reviewed laboratory studies conducted over several decades have found biologic effects from limited exposures to ELF EMF. These studies suggest that the EMF guidelines established by the self-appointed, International Commission on Non-Ionizing Radiation Protection (ICNIRP) are inadequate to protect our health.”

Both the World Health Organization and the International Agency for Research on Cancer have said magnetic fields are “possibly carcinogenic” to humans, which, Moskowitz suggests, means the precautionary principle should prevail, and products should be designed to minimize consumers’ exposure to ELF and EMF.

“This especially applies to hybrid and electric automobiles as drivers and passengers spend considerable amounts of time in these vehicles, and health risks increase with the duration of exposure,” he said, adding:12

“Based upon the research, more than 230 EMF experts have signed the International EMF Scientist Appeal which calls on the World Health Organization to establish stronger guidelines for ELF and radio frequency EMF.

Thus, even if EMF measurements comply with the ICNIRP guidelines, occupants of hybrid and electric cars may still be at increased risk for cancer and other health problems.”

Are Electric Cars the Future?

A poll conducted by Clean Energy Canada found that 64 percent of Canadians want the majority of vehicles sold to be electric, and 72 percent believe that electric vehicles will become the majority worldwide in the future.13 The findings echoed a U.S. survey, which similarly found that 74 percent believed electric cars were the future.14

Overall, the associations with electric cars were positive, with most believing the long-term savings on gas would outweigh the vehicle’s higher upfront cost. Nearly 60 percent also felt that electric vehicles would have a more positive environmental impact than recycling, switching to paperless billing or regulating their energy at home.

As for barriers, electric vehicle owners cited a need for faster and upgraded public charging stations, such as making them available at coffee shops and gyms, and giving an option to pay for a faster charge. For now, electric vehicles represent only a small fraction of cars on the market, but industry analysts agree that’s going to change, possibly sooner rather than later.

“Electrification, you cannot stop it anymore — it’s coming,” Elmar Kades, a managing director with the consulting firm AlixPartners, told NPR. “We have fantastic growth rates, between 50 and 60 percent on a global level.”15 While in 1997 there were just two electric cars on the market, there are now 98, and it’s expected that nongas cars, including electric, fuel cells and hybrids, will triple by 2025.16

The tipping point — when electric vehicles will outsell gas-powered ones — could be as near as 2025 or 2030, according to some analysts,17 and Benoit, who says he felt like a trailblazer when he first started his attempt to rebuild a Tesla,18 is likely only hastening the appeal by letting people know that — with a bit of grit and ingenuity — a Tesla could be had for under $10,000.

from Articles http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2019/03/23/tesla-for-less-than-ten-thousand-dollars.aspx source https://niapurenaturecom.tumblr.com/post/183643809736

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jerrytackettca · 6 years

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A Tesla for Less Than $10000?

Buying a Tesla new will set you back anywhere from $42,900 to $137,000, depending on which model you choose.1 The Model S, Tesla's midpriced sedan, starts at $85,000, but Rich Benoit, a 30-something father of three and IT worker, got one for $6,500. It's the topic of his now infamous YouTube page, Rich Rebuilds, which has racked up more than 39 million views.2

The sought-after electric cars have been growing in popularity along with the U.S. electric vehicle industry, which experienced an 81 percent jump in sales in 2018 compared to the year before.3

Man Rebuilds Tesla From Salvage Yard — With No Help From Tesla

"We're in a society where if you need to know something you Google it, but there was nothing out there, no one who knew how to fix them," Benoit told the Globe. But this was only the first obstacle. After stripping the car of its damaged parts and electronics, he contacted Tesla to order new ones, and was quickly turned away.

"Tesla does not want anyone working on its cars besides Tesla, and it refused to sell Benoit the parts he wanted," according to the Globe. "A Tesla representative, in a statement to the Globe, said 'there are significant safety concerns when salvaged Teslas are repaired improperly or when Tesla parts are used outside of their original design intent, as these vehicles could pose a danger to both the mechanic and other drivers on the road.'"6

One Year and $6,500 Rebuilds Tesla Model S

It's a boon for Tesla owners, who often complain they have to wait months to find a mechanic who can service their vehicle — and when they do may be charged upward of $175 an hour.7 Ultimately, he hopes the service center will also be a place to educate owners about electric vehicles and even convert gas-powered vehicles to electricity.

"It has been a long, complicated, strange trip since he opened that waterlogged battery, wondering if he was about to electrocute himself. And despite all of the ups and downs, he insists he is not at war with Tesla. 'Maybe I was for a few weeks after they wouldn't sell me the parts,' he says. No, this is a love story, of how a man who says he has gas in his veins decided to go electric," the Globe wrote.8

Electric Cars Cost Less to Make and Service

Analysts believe the electric vehicle industry is going to continue to grow in 2019, with more manufacturers and models entering the mix.

Chris Nelder, manager of Rocky Mountain Institute's mobility practice, told Green Tech Media, "I don't think 2019 is going to be all about the Model 3. There are a lot more manufacturers making a lot more EVs … In 2019, we're going to have much more significant participation from other major manufacturers, especially in the high-end luxury crossover/SUV segment."9

The growth may be so explosive that Morgan Stanley estimated 3 million traditional auto industry jobs could be lost over the next three to five years as a result.10 In fact, it's estimated that it takes 30 percent less labor to manufacture an electric vehicle than a gas-powered one, with some estimates putting it up to a 50 percent cut.

Maintenance and servicing of electric vehicles is also less costly, which could heighten the demand for them even further, especially once service centers become widespread.

Are There EMF Concerns in Electric Cars?

Electric cars appear to be a clear winner for the environment, although there are a few considerations, such as the rare minerals that must be mined for the batteries and the need in some areas to power your "electric" car from a power plant using coal. However, another potential concern is exposure to electromagnetic fields (EMFs).

According to Joel Moskowitz, Ph.D., director of the Center for Family and Community Health at the University of California (UC) Berkeley:11

"Hybrid and electric cars may be cancer-causing as they emit extremely low frequency (ELF) electromagnetic fields (EMF). Recent studies of the EMF emitted by these automobiles have claimed either that they pose a cancer risk for the vehicles' occupants or that they are safe.

"This especially applies to hybrid and electric automobiles as drivers and passengers spend considerable amounts of time in these vehicles, and health risks increase with the duration of exposure," he said, adding:12

"Based upon the research, more than 230 EMF experts have signed the International EMF Scientist Appeal which calls on the World Health Organization to establish stronger guidelines for ELF and radio frequency EMF.

Thus, even if EMF measurements comply with the ICNIRP guidelines, occupants of hybrid and electric cars may still be at increased risk for cancer and other health problems."

Are Electric Cars the Future?

Overall, the associations with electric cars were positive, with most believing the long-term savings on gas would outweigh the vehicle's higher upfront cost. Nearly 60 percent also felt that electric vehicles would have a more positive environmental impact than recycling, switching to paperless billing or regulating their energy at home.

As for barriers, electric vehicle owners cited a need for faster and upgraded public charging stations, such as making them available at coffee shops and gyms, and giving an option to pay for a faster charge. For now, electric vehicles represent only a small fraction of cars on the market, but industry analysts agree that's going to change, possibly sooner rather than later.

"Electrification, you cannot stop it anymore — it's coming," Elmar Kades, a managing director with the consulting firm AlixPartners, told NPR. "We have fantastic growth rates, between 50 and 60 percent on a global level."15 While in 1997 there were just two electric cars on the market, there are now 98, and it’s expected that nongas cars, including electric, fuel cells and hybrids, will triple by 2025.16

from http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2019/03/23/tesla-for-less-than-ten-thousand-dollars.aspx

source http://niapurenaturecom.weebly.com/blog/a-tesla-for-less-than-10000

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ralphmorgan-blog1 · 7 years

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‘When corals die off, we die off’

(CNN)In 1998, the cruel heat of El Nino hit Seychelles hard. Sea surface temperatures rose around the Indian Ocean, bleaching 90% of coral reefs in the archipelago. Widespread flooding caused significant economic losses -- fishing and agriculture accounting for more than half of the total figure according to the International Monetary Fund (IMF).

The meteorological event, a combination of ocean heat redistribution and wind reversal in the Pacific, occurs approximately every two to seven years and has far-reaching consequences. The last El Nino in 2016 was similarly dreadful, reducing coral coverage on Seychelles' reefs from 50% to 5%, say local researchers.

El Nino is a phenomenon: a devastating, uncontrollable exception to the norm. With carefully managed conservation, Seychelles can survive its wild fluctuations. But not if global warming continues. As baseline temperatures creep up, the ecosystem loses its ability to recover. Eventually El Nino could prove terminal.

Climate change has become the day-to-day struggle for this tiny nation -- an island nation that faces erasure should the problem remain uncurbed. So what can a country with one of the smallest GDPs in the world do to prevent the global catastrophe lapping at its shores?

A survey of the threats

Headlines refer to the "slow creep" of climate change. In pockets of the world not yet on its frontlines, there is still doubt or ambivalence -- even from the highest offices in the land. Seychellois, however, can measure the effects with a yardstick along their coastline.

"People that don't believe in climate change, maybe they need to come to the Seychelles," says Lisa Laporte Booyse, who runs a guesthouse on the southeast tip of Mahe, the largest island in the chain.

"We can show them photos of things that were very different before ... coastal erosion. We can see flooding that we never experienced, the higher temperatures that we've never experienced before. The season(al) changes that have had an effect."

"Before, we literally could tell you the day that our rainy season would start. Now, we have droughts that we never experienced before."

Bleached coral close to the coast. Coral coverage dropped from 50% to 5% on reefs in 2016.

The IMF cites 2010 as Seychelles' "worst drought in decades," also noting that in January 2013 intense rain caused landslides in Pointe Au Sel, and in May 2007 extreme high tides spread 164 feet inland, striking roads and infrastructure. Locals are being forced to create ad hoc barriers from rocks to prevent beaches from being washed away.

So much of the affairs on land are dictated by the health of the biosphere in the water.

When it comes to coastal erosion, reefs are key, acting as a wave breaker protecting the shoreline, explains Savi Leblond, project leader at the Cerf Island Conservation Program, 2.5 miles off the coast of Mahe. Without strong reefs, the land is at the mercy of the ocean. At present, they are delicately poised.

"Our reefs here have been under several threats -- natural and anthropogenic," Leblond says.

Sea surface temperature rises cause "stress" to corals, which release an algae zooxanthellae, which makes up "90% of its food source, as well as its color." The result is bleaching and depleted nourishment. Bleaching is reversible, but if waters remain too warm for too long, coral starves and dies.

Previous El Ninos bleached large swathes of Seychelles reef in 1998 and 2016.

Another factor is ocean acidification, caused by bodies of water absorbing C02 -- 560 billion tons in the past 250 years, per one US national climate assessment. This has increased ocean surface acidity by 30%, preventing calcifying life forms, including coral, from absorbing the nutrients necessary for them to maintain their structure.

Then there is sedimentation, which starves coral of oxygen. The Max Planck Institute describes this, paired with acidification, as a recipe for a "deadly chain reaction" on reefs. Sedimentation can occur due to extreme weather events -- the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami covered some reefs in Seychelles -- but sediment can also travel via rain runoff and flood waters, caused by storm surges and rising sea levels.

A turtle swims among bleached coral in Seychelles.

Seychelles is particularly susceptible to rising seas. Many islands in the 115-strong archipelago are low-lying elevated reefs. Of the archipelago's combined land area, roughly two and a half times the size of Washington DC, 16.4% is less than 16 feet above sea level.

According to Seychelles' ambassador for climate change Ronald Jumeau, 80% of the population live and 80% of economic activity occurs in coastal regions.

By 2100, the United States' National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration predicts average global sea levels could rise over eight feet.

Meanwhile, a paper dated March 2016 suggested ice melt in Antarctica alone could add 49 feet to sea levels by 2500.

Either of these eventualities would be a catastrophe for Seychelles' biosphere -- above and below water.

"When corals die off, unfortunately we die off," surmises Leblond. "Everything relies on coral reefs."

Custodians of the ocean

"It was the fishermen who said it's not like it was before," recalls Booyse.

Seychellois look to the sea for sustenance; they're custodians of over 500,000 square miles of ocean, and 15% of the population are engaged in fishing and fishing-related activities. But it's already proving harder for fisherman like Augustin Desaubin and others to eek out a living.

Fisherman Augustin Desaubin surveys the ocean. Since he was a boy fish stocks have depleted, he says.

As a boy Desaubin remembers "the corals were beautiful; plenty of coral inside the reef, plenty of fish," he adds. "Now we can see only seaweed."

"When I was young, octopus was abundant. I (would) dive for about one hour, you'd have five or six octopus and go home." Now approaching 50, Desaubin says there are days when he returns empty-handed.

"Corals cover less than 0.1% of the world's surface area but they house over 25% of the world's biodiversity," Leblond explains.

If coral degradation continues, it's not just the tourist industry that will suffer. But while some nations haver in their commitment to fighting climate change, Seychelles is ramping up its efforts.

Rebuilding the ocean from the floor up

Four years before the Kyoto Protocol (a precursor to the Paris Climate Accord) was signed, Seychelles placed the environment front and center of policy. Its constitution, penned 1993, begins as follows:

"We, the People of Seychelles, grateful to Almighty God that we inhabit one of the most beautiful countries in the world; ever mindful of the uniqueness and fragility of Seychelles... declar(e) our unswaying commitment... (to) help preserve a safe, healthy and functioning environment for ourselves and for posterity."

By January 2017 the IMF declared that "Seychelles has put climate change at the center of its sustainable development strategy, more purposefully than most other small states."

View from the coast of Mahe, Seychelles' largest island. Approximately 80% of the population live in coastal regions.

Alongside government initiatives, citizens are taking action.

Leblond and the Cerf Island Conservation Program, part of the Marine Conservation Society Seychelles, cleans coastlines with teams of volunteers. But rehabilitating reefs is a more intensive endeavor.

"We grow corals in a nursery and use these nursery-grown corals to rehabilitate the reef," explains marine scientist Jude Bijoux. Due to climate change, only corals most resilient to warm temperatures are selected, he adds.

The time-consuming process involves transferring coral fragments from one of five artificial reefs to rope lines, then to substrate or natural rock on the sea floor. It's a six to 12-month effort requiring epoxy resin and regular rope cleaning with a toothbrush.

"It's a bit weird," says Leblond, but their methods give coral "the best chance they have."

Rope-grown corals are tended to as part of reef rehabilitation.

Inspired by initiatives on Cerf, Booyse started the Anse Forbans Community Conservation Program, a group of neighbors setting up a coral nursery of their own.

"(It) won't be an immediate fix," Booyse says. "We're looking at a five-year lifespan to get the corals healthy, growing again and plant them back."

Even among one of the greenest societies in the world, ownership and responsibility lie at the heart of Booyse's motives. "My own generation, and generations before, have made a big impact on the environment," she says. "I have to try and lead and make a difference."

"When you're fighting the cause you've just got to go and keep going."

Seychellois know that in the fight against climate change, no half-measures will do. Their livelihoods and homes depend on it.

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authenticchannel-blog · 7 years

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Why You Won't Know Love Until You Love Yourself

"You won't know love until you love yourself." -- Who Knows

I used to hate this saying. "What does that even mean?" I maintained. "I've never loved myself, but I've been in love many times!" I found it petty and judgmental. If this idea was going to be pumped through Hallmark Cards, Zen yoga studios, and Self Help books, then it might as well include how the hell someone goes about accomplishing "loving themselves".

We're told that self love is the greatest bliss of all. It's the beginning of joy, the way to your soulmate, and indicates elevation of consciousness. But, the idea haunts us. It makes us feel small, weak, and destined to fall short. Like so many of us, I had more critical than loving things to say about myself. As a matter of fact, I thought it was loving to criticize myself! How was I supposed to be a better person if I didn't tell myself how awful I currently was? How was I supposed to love myself when I had a lot of work to do to make myself lovable?

In October, 2013, I got my greatest lesson in self love when I suffered a break up from, who I thought, was my soulmate. We had met at a bar in NYC: he the bartender, I the waitress who worked down the street, frequenting the bar far too often. He was a handsome Irishman from the small town of, Sligo, which happened to be the same town as my great grandmother (talk about synchronicity). I fell so hard, I could have left a face print in cement. I thought "This is it, this is the love I've been waiting for!"

My heart was always bursting out of my chest when I would see him; I felt alive and excited for our future. I doted on him, always made myself available, traveled Europe with him, for 6 weeks, from Ireland, Spain, Italy, to Paris, and gave him every ounce of my love, affection, and support. To me, I was experiencing ultimate perfection; I was in heaven... But I always had a nagging feeling he would leave me, which towered over every moment.

After we broke up, I spent the next year rebuilding my self-esteem, asking all the questions we normally ask: Why did we break up? Why did it end like this? How could this have been avoided? When you dive into yourself to explore the deeper waters of your inner conflicts, prepare for the pressure.

This is what I discovered about my half of our relationship: I had spent the majority of it dealing with my insecurities, my drinking problem, and my hang ups over my family issues. I overcompensated for what I thought were my worst qualities, and made sure I was the best damn girlfriend he could ask for. And I think he'd agree, I WAS a great girlfriend. The problem was I didn't know I was a great Vanessa. I didn't know how to show up with my own qualities and self assurance, instead, adopting what I thought a great girlfriend should do and be. I couldn't move past the fear of losing him, so I lost myself, and put someone "perfect" in my place. This resulted in emotional breakdowns due to high expectations, an inability to hear anything but what I wanted to hear, manipulation when I felt I was losing him, and a dependence on his happiness for my own. I thought his love would somehow fix everything that was wrong and "bad" about me.

What I realized about my role in the end of our story was that I genuinely did not love myself. This realization led me to wonder: why do the vast majority of us not know the feeling of self love? Over years of pondering, I eliminated the possibilities down to three perspectives that roll into each other: 1) we're told to love ourselves, despite the fact that we don't know what self love actually means 2) because we don't know what it means to love ourselves, we act in self gratifying ways as a means to distance ourselves from others and 3) from this confusion we decide to approach our happiness by being either selfish or selfless. The overwhelming need to re-imagine these three perspectives has changed my world for the better. We'll start with the first perspective: what exactly is "self love"?...

1) Self love is what you value

I think we'd all agree that self love and self worth are interchangeable. When we speak of one we are speaking of the other. So, assuming we all consider "love" impossible to describe, let's define worth:

Worth: equivalent in value to the sum or item specified

So if we take this definition and define it for human interaction, it would go something like this:

Worth: you are as valuable as everyone else.

This is the mantra of self love and living with integrity (feeling whole): YOU are as valuable as others and what you VALUE is just as important as what others value. If you don't know what you value, then you will not find yourself valuable, opting to follow other's values over your own or sacrifice other's needs because you despartately want to be valued. This leads to knowing what you want from another person instead of knowing what you have to offer. This idea can be best described in two opposing labels we all know very well: "givers" and "takers." I put the words in quotations because these labels are a facade, an identity we hide behind to lick our wounds when our relationships go badly. In our society, "givers" are the saints and "takers" are the sinners. One has an angel's halo of martyrdom while the other dons the devil's horns of greed. These labels are one of the biggest hurtles we must face on the road to joyously loving ourselves and others, as they create the separation of us vs. them:

If you've ever been in a relationship where you've given everything to another person, only to be left a hollow shell, burned and discarded, you know what it's like to be a "giver." If you've ever been in a relationship where you've enjoyed the comfort and ease of another person's gifts and affection, feeling the power and security of the upper hand, you know what it's like to be a "taker." But, the fact is, everyone is both giving and taking, simultaneously. The negative forms of giving/taking are most evident in our painful relationships, as each person is riding on their "one way street":

If you emotionally and physically give endlessly to another, you are looking for approval and love to follow your efforts. In essence, you're hinging the amount of love and attention you hope to receive to the amount that you give, as you feel undeserving otherwise (giving vitality to receive vitality).

If you emotionally and physically receive endlessly from someone, your are looking for admiration and attention, offering to be a shrine for the other person. In essence, you're ignoring their efforts for love and approval in order to boost your own self esteem, giving you a sense of pride that you can display to others (receiving vitality to give vitality).

When you love yourself, you will have learned the "two way street" of both giving and taking, as both are necessary for our happiness and cooperation. The positive forms of giving/taking are most evident in our healthy and easy relationships:

If you know what you value (i.e. equality, space, communication, a generous heart), then you aren't threatened by that which another has to offer, giving them room to express themselves as themselves. In essence, you know what qualities of love you want to receive (take), which allows for an authentic exchange of emotion and discovery, no matter if the relationship continues or not.

If you know what you have to offer (i.e. cooking amazing meals, always dependable, can make anyone laugh so hard they fall over) then you can give freely to others, as your vitality is strengthened by making others feel good by giving what feels good to you! In essence, you know what qualities of love you have to offer (give) that make you and others happy.

Self love is what we value in ourselves (what we offer or give to others) and what we value for ourselves (what we need from others to feel secure and safe). Now we come to the second part of our journey. How we create distance and isolation...

2) Self love is demonstrated in faith

Self-gratification (pleasing oneself without considering others) is rooted in the fear of rejection. We are so scared that what we have to offer is boring, useless, annoying, ridiculous, over dramatic, offensive, or plain bad. This carves out a hole in our hearts (no quotations needed, because it's real), which we somehow can't seem to fill.

We self-gratify by overeating, over shopping, experimenting with drugs, binging alcohol, constantly socializing, serial dating, criticizing, putting others down, demanding attention, having children to alleviate loneliness or to gain government paychecks, controlling and dominating our environment and others, condemning other's due to race and/or creed, compulsively giving up what we want for the happiness of another, demanding what we want from others for our happiness, and isolating ourselves from the world. Our fear of exposure for all that is bad in us keeps us from truly connecting with each other. How do we feel the joy of another when all we want is their approval or attention? We are searching for proof that we are lovable; that every need and desire we have is good and valuable to those we love and beyond. But, our fear of being abandonded by those we love, causes us to adopt the philosophy that no one can be trusted to truly love us, unaware that we, too, are a part of "no one". This lack of trust in ourselves and others creates a vicious cycle: withholding ourselves because we are afraid of rejection, thus constantly being rejected because we are withholding ourselves.

In order to trust others, we must, first, have faith in ourselves. We do that by getting in touch with how we feel. How we feel offers us faith, how we think offers us skepticism (or need for proof). We, far too often, applaud logic over our emotions, causing confusion and muddled beliefs. But, those who consider how they feel to be the only necessary measure for an appropriate reaction leaves everyone subject to the fragility of that person's emotional life, be it for the better or worse of the relationship. We either must be wholly feelers or wholly thinkers, as one must be right and the other wrong. Now, I'm going to offer science here for those who feel they have a moral obligation to society to uphold logic over feelings at all costs, and for those who think their emotions are the only true reality of the self:

The hypothalamus, the gland in your body that produces the chemical responses for emotions, is activated by what you are thinking. If you think about something negatively or positively, your hypothalamus produces neuropeptides that carry the unique code for negative or positive emotion. They soak into your blood, then translate through your body as feeling bad or feeling good (decreased energy and vitality, increased energy and vitality). This goes for all thoughts, as they produce all emotions.*

All this to say: what we think is how we feel. They work together, not separately. When we trust our thinking (skepticism) over our feelings (faith), we tell our emotions how to prepare for the outside world. When we trust our feelings over our thinking, we tell our mind that it can't see the outside world clearly. When we trust them both together, we interact with ourselves through self reflection, choosing to adjust or remain steady according to our goals and desires.

Thinking over feeling: I've been burned way too many times by guys who've cheated on me, so I'm going to insure my happiness with the next guy by always being by his side, so it never happens again.

Feeling over thinking: I've been cheated on enough to know all men are liars and cheats, so I'm happy over here doing my own thing!

Feeling and thinking: I've been really hurt in the past by men who've cheated, so I'm going to figure out what values I have that align with guys who don't respect me, as I would like to be in a happy and healthy relationship.

Our emotions are our light house and our values (how we think) are steering our ships. We must trust that the values we hold will dedicate us to our goals, allowing our emotions to illuminate our paths. When we choose to accept our feelings as a guide to our happiness, we will be able to trust that we are good and worthy beings, simply expressing ourselves in all our massive glory.

3) Self love is both selfish and selfless

I used to ask myself "Why do I deserve to be happy? I've done so many things I regret." We all deserve to be happy, no matter the crimes we've committed. I'm appealing to the majority of the population who are not sociopaths: we love each other. We want to see a smile on everyone's face, including our own. Though some of us have been led far astray, I think we can all agree with the compassionate words of Oscar Wilde, "Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future."

Self love is both selfish and selfless. We selfishly gather up our friends, personal comforts, and sense of purpose as vitality and supportive energy, then selflessly spring forth that which makes us happy for the use and joy of others. When we do what makes us happy, it makes others happy, and that's the most effective service of all. The more we learn to love ourselves, the more we accept the reality of who we are: creative beings creating for others. So, start your hat shop, go learn the tango, get on a dating site, let go of your ex, find a job that listens to your ideas, join a volunteer group, be kind and helpful to someone in need, open up to each other's love and opinions, and blaze a trail of self love for others to follow.

Life can be unpredictable and scary at times. Sometimes, we don't know where we're going, or which choice to make. Listening to our feelings and values may, at times, lead us down painful paths. But life is about learning and growing, not winning and controlling. Instead of expecting, emulate what you want from others. You aren't always meant to marry the first person you fall in love with or keep the same job you started. Not every family has what you need, so make sure you find your people. Your dream job may no longer motivate you, so find your next calling. The relationship you thought would last forever may end in sadness and remorse, but, I guarantee, each breakup carries a seed of self discovery. Let your light shine and have faith that you are here for the same reason as everyone else: to create the life that will bring you joy, and, in turn, bring joy to others.

Know you are loved, know you are lovable, know your love is worth sharing with the world,

Vanessa Bartlett

Founder of The Authentic Channel

*(Dr. Candace Pert , Molecules of Emotion, New York: Scribner 2010)

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