#like defining her as a healer and not letting her do anything for 4 seasons

[detectivenightwing]

Just remembered how badly the Legend of Korra treated Katara.

[bre95611]

Dean and Castiel in Season 4: Part 3

Before I get started, this is the 3rd part of a series, so to read from the beginning, go here, or you can find the masterlist here. Thank you to all who have been reading from the get go, my first meta after joining the fandom, and thank you to all of you just now reading. I hope you enjoy. This one is real real long, so bear with me. Look below the cut for my extensive ramblings about these to Dumbasses. Here we go!

First things first, let’s look at the timeline of the Anna and Dean relationship. Keep in mind, the entirety of their romantic relationship took place in the span of a 2 episode arc. A lot of this is just a reiteration of Part 2, so have a refresher:

They first meet in episode 9, while Anna still believes herself to be a human. We discover the first thing she hears on Angel Radio is about Dean, specifically him being saved.

Now, in 4x10, after Anna gets her memories back, the group has a little chat, trying to figure out why Cas and Uriel have orders to kill Anna. She disobeyed, she fell, which we are told is almost the worst thing an angel can do (we learn much later what IS the worst thing - a human/angel relationship that produces a nephilim). After Pamela goes home, Dean and Anna have their first conversation alone.

This conversation was overloaded with interesting insight to Dean Winchester, which I go over in Part 2, but let’s look at the broad strokes of what they discuss that leads directly to them getting it on in the backseat of the Impala.

DEAN: Feelings are overrated, if you ask me.

ANNA: Beats being an angel.

DEAN: How’s that possible? You guys are powerful and perfect. You don’t doubt yourselves or God or anything.

ANNA: Perfect… Like a marble statue. Cold...no choice...only obedience. Dean, do you know how many angels have actually seen God? Seen his face?

DEAN: All of you?

ANNA: Four angels. Four. And I’m not even one of them.

DEAN: That’s it? Well, then how do you even know that there is a God?

ANNA: We have to take it on faith… Which we’re killed if we don’t have.

Here we go! Bonding over some lack of faith!

ANNA: I was stationed on earth 2,000 years. Just...watching...silent…invisible...out on the road...sick for home...waiting on orders from an unknowable father I can’t begin to understand. So don’t tell me that - 

DEAN laughs.

ANNA: What is so funny? What?

DEAN: Nothing. Sorry. It’s just… I can relate.

Followed by some Daddy Issues! Cool. First two big stepping stones in their relationship. Think about how similar Anna and Dean’s situations “growing up” were, Dean working a job that no one knows about, saving people that didn’t even know they were in danger, never actually having a home, and John, the unknowable father that Dean strove to gain approval from.

And then in true Sam “Interrupting Moose” Winchester fashion, he breaks up the little potential love fest because he found Anna’s grace.

Fast forward to after we find out Anna’s grace is gone and the angels are going to throw Dean back to Hell if they don’t hand her over.

DEAN: Hey, let’s can the “thanks for trying” speech, you know? Participation trophies suck ass.

ANNA: I don’t know. Maybe I don’t deserve to be saved.

DEAN: Don’t talk like that.

Alright. Let’s jump over to “Lazarus Rising” real quick.

DEAN: And why would an Angel rescue me from Hell?

CAS: Good things do happen, Dean.

DEAN: Not in my experience.

CAS: What’s the matter? You don’t think you deserve to be saved.

Similar, huh? In these situations, Dean and Anna are filling the same role. Dean is attracted to that connection he feels in her, especially when you take into account the distance he is feeling when it comes to Sam, considering the Ruby influence (Yellow Fever meta, a huge part of Dean’s fear of Hell is rooted particularly in Sam moving closer to the “darkside”, i.e. when hallucination!Sam flashes Yellow Eyes). He’s desperate for some sort of common ground. And here he finds it. Anna thinks she deserved death, where Dean thinks he deserved to stay in Hell. The both have demanding, impossible-to-please fathers, that they used to follow in blind faith, until they lost that faith, resulting in a falling out.

ANNA: I got to tell you something. You’re not going to like it.

DEAN: Okay, what?

ANNA: About a week ago, I heard the angels talking… About you… What you did in Hell. Dean, I know. It wasn’t your fault. You should forgive yourself.

DEAN: Anna, I don’t w-want to, uh… I don’t want to.... I can’t talk about that.

ANNA: I know. But when you can, you have people that want to help. You are not alone. That’s all I’m trying to say.

ANNA kisses DEAN.

DEAN: What was that for?

ANNA: You know… Our last night on Earth… All that.

DEAN: You’re stealing my best line.

So what do we get from this? What are the key moments here? Anna brings up Dean’s time in Hell. So she is one of how many people that know that Dean went to Hell? Know what he did while he was there? Angels know. So Cas and Uriel. Only angels we have met thus far, so the only ones narratively relevant. You know who doesn’t know yet? Sam. The most important person in Dean’s life does not know that he was tortured for 30 years and tortured souls himself for another decade. And as I mentioned in the “Yellow Fever” mini-meta, Dean’s time in Hell is VERY DEFINING for him, especially this early in the season, so soon after coming back. One of the most important traits of Dean at this point in his life is what he did while in Hell (at this point, he has spent nearly 60% of his life there), and Anna brings it up. And tells him to forgive himself for what he did. 

There is also the lovely part where Anna steals Dean’s best pickup line. 

SO! What happens between Anna and Dean that leads to sex in the backseat?

Lack of Faith

Daddy Issues

“Don’t deserve to be saved.”

Dean’s time in Hell

“Last night on Earth” pickup line

Moving onto the timeline of the Dean/Castiel relationship! Everyone still with me? Great!

Back to Lazarus Rising, we have this:

DEAN:[ …]I mean, what are you?

CAS: I’m an Angel of the Lord.

DEAN: Get the hell out of here. There’s no such thing.

CAS: That is your problem, Dean. You have no faith.

Castiel immediately calls Dean out on a lack of faith. Looking at the overarching plot in the Kripke era, it’s very interesting, Castiel bringing this up right off the bat. If you go back through earlier episodes, Dean’s faith is brought up multiple times, in season one where the faith healer’s wife had bound a reaper, and again, specifically in the context of angels, in season 2 with the episode “Houses of the Holy”. Dean does not have faith. That’s basically his shtick. So to have an Angel of the Lord appearing in front of him, claiming to have pulled him out of Hell and telling him that Heaven has “work for him to do” (an entirely intentional throw back to the pilot, I’m convinced), it makes him question all of that, instilling in him a large portion of his personality in season 4, his “lack of faith”. 

Why is this important, though?

I’ll tell ya why! Because it is bonding material. And the writers use that as a way to find common ground between Dean and both Cas and Anna. With Cas, right off the bat, and again in 4x07 “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester”. And then with Anna in 4x10 “Heaven and Hell”.

Shortly after we have this:

Now the following episode keeps a beautiful consistency with the themes of lacking faith and being saved.  4x02 opens up with Dean reveling in his lack of faith, showing that despite pretty explicit proof of angels existing, Dean is still skeptical. Then from there, it doubles down on the very first Destiel conversation, taking the line “You don’t think you deserve to be saved?” and making the whole next episode about all the people the Winchesters couldn’t save. These two defining bits of episode 2 draw even more attention to these defining moments of relationship development. SO while it isn’t a heavy Destiel episode, it has its purposes in the romantic narrative, subtly boosting the biggest bits of their existing relationship.

Let’s jump up to 4x07 “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester” and look at the tail end of the conversation between Dean, Cas, Uriel, and Sam about the witch trying to raise Samhain. Uriel has just brought up “purifying the city”.

CAS: We have no choice.

DEAN: Of course you have a choice. I mean, come on, what? You’ve never questioned a crap order, huh? What are you both, just a couple of hammers?

CAS: Look, even if you can’t understand it, have faith. The plan is just.

SAM: How can you even say that?

CAS: Because it comes from Heaven, that makes it just.

DEAN: Oh, it must be nice, to be so sure of yourselves.

CAS: Tell me something, Dean, when your father gave you an order, didn’t you obey?

Sassy Castiel is just my favorite. While Anna presents her Daddy Issues in a softer way, emphasizing not knowing hers, Cas leans into the soldier side, how John was when he was there. This is an interesting difference, where Anna was already lacking in faith, God is directly paralleled to the angel’s faith by his absentee status with her, but with Castiel, who has faith in God, he’s bonding with the militaristic aspect of John’s treatment of Dean, bonding on his presence.

Next time we see these two Idiots in Love interact, it’s at the park. The bench scene. Imma be real with y’all, this is my FAVORITE Destiel scene, and contains my favorite Destiel line.

After Cas admits that their true orders were to follow Dean, not save the town, we have this:

DEAN: So I failed your test, huh? I get it. But you know what? If you were to wave that magic time travelling wand of yours and we had to do it all over again, I’d make the same call…

CAS: You misunderstand me, Dean. I’m not like you think. I was praying that you would choose to save the town.

DEAN: You were?

CAS: These people. They’re all my Father’s creations. They’re works of art. And yet, even though you stopped Samhain, the seal was broken, and we are one step closer to Hell on Earth for all creation. And that’s not an expression, Dean. It’s literal. You of all people should appreciate what that means.

Whoa, buddy! Cas knows what Dean did last summer. Or whatever season it was. I already talked about why this is important. At this point in the narrative, very very few people know what Dean did during his stint in Hell, so this is a Big Deal. Cas just peppers it into the conversation like its not important, which I like. Cas is showing Dean right now that despite what he did, Cas doesn’t look at him differently. Cas doesn’t look at him as evil or broken, which is undoubtedly how Dean sees himself. Cas views it as just something that happened, an unavoidable speed bump in Dean’s life. That one sentence is all we get about Cas’s view on Dean having been to Hell and what he did there, showing us how negligible it is to Cas. In his eyes, Dean is still the Righteous Man, through and through. 

To complete this lovely timeline of the early Destiel relationship, we have to jump way ahead to season 5. In episode 3 “Free to Be You and Me”, Castiel is searching out Raphael the archangel. We have this glorious little bit of dialogue.

DEAN: So last night on Earth. What are your plans?

CAS: I just thought I’d sit here quietly.

DEAN: Come on, anything? Booze, women?

CASTIEL looks at DEAN, and away, uncomfortable.

DEAN:You have been with women before. Right? Or an angel, at least?

CASTIEL rubs the back of his neck.

DEAN: You mean to tell me you’ve never been up there doing a little cloud-seeding?

CAS: Look, I’ve never had the occasion, okay?

DEAN: All right.

DEAN grabs his jacket.

DEAN: Let me tell you something. There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. Two, you are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch. Let’s go.

Oh, Dean, your eternal love for a celestial wavelength of intent is showing! So there we have it. Dean used canonically his best line on Cas. And not only did he use this line on his totes platonic BFF, he used it in conjunction with “Bert and Ernie are gay.” Good Lord. 

So there you have it! The timeline of Dean and Anna’s relationship is just a condensed version of Dean and Castiel’s. Let’s just talk about how entirely intentional this is for a second. Before I have a whole other rant’s worth of parallels beyond these. So Misha Collins was originally slated to be in 3 episodes. What are the first 3 episodes he was in? Literally the first 3 of the season. The 2nd and 3rd episodes were fairly sparse in interactions between Dean and Cas, but damn if that first episode didn’t surely establish Destiel as the ship to end all ships(I’ve seen a post floating around actually that talks about how the very first Destiel fanfiction was posted less than 24 hours post premier of “Lazarus Rising” so...draw your own conclusions there). So when Misha finishes his filming and is gone for episodes 4,5, and 6, I’m sure people started getting all worked up, worried about just what had happened to everyone’s favorite angel. So they brought Misha back, and a handful of episodes later, Anna is introduced! The earliest parallels in the relationship are all Anna mirroring things that had happened already between Dean and Castiel. THIS WAS INTENTIONAL. This was to show us the early canonical plan to begin subtextually writing Dean and Cas as a couple. I think a lot of it has to do as well with the Cockles conundrum of Which Came First, Cockles or Destiel? Cause Jesus H. Christ, the chemistry.

So there we have it. At the basest level, Destiel has been intended from the get go, and real talk, the deeper into this current season we get, the more absolutely convinced I am that we’re going to get in-story, explicit confirmation of Dean and Castiel’s romantic love for each other. Like, they're going back to Purgatory. I can't handle it. 

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

Those crazy ol’ writers didn’t just stop there with the parallels between these two couples. With the introduction of Anna’s character, as I laid out in Part 1 of this meta series, they wanted to make sure we, the fandom, would Get It, and doubled down, displaying a subtextual relationship between Anna and Castiel. And you know what? Those crazy bastards just kept the parallels and mirrors coming! 

Up to this point, I’ve been focused mainly on the relationships from Dean’s point of view. But what all is going through Cas’s head?

Let’s look at 4x10 “Heaven and Hell”.

Some important background information, for those of you who haven’t been obsessively rewatching season 4 in hopes of inspiration for your season 4 based meta series (What? Just me?), the last time we have seen Cas is in 4x07, during the bench scene. The scene where Castiel confessed he was experiencing doubts, and we see for the first time how Castiel feels about humanity. 

CAS: ...I was praying that you would choose to save the town.

DEAN: You were?

CAS: These people. They’re all my Father’s creations. They’re works of art.

Even at this point, only the 4th time we have seen Cas, he establishes he is in love with humanity. He always has been. This entire scene, as I said earlier, is one of, if not my favorite, Destiel moments. And it’s because of this soft Castiel, digging deep to explain himself to this human he carefully pieced back together after fighting his way through Hell to save him. Cas confiding in Dean is so important, showing us how much Cas cares for Dean and how quickly that has all happened. Cas has always been amazed by humanity, so all the comments throughout the seasons showing Cas being in love with humanity is textually true. Cas calls them works of art. However, following this statement of love for humanity followed by showing his feelings for Dean by confiding in him ("If I tell you a secret will you promise not tell another soul?" Come on what is that?) is really telling of how Cas's love of humanity leads to him falling in love with Dean as well. He was already in love with humanity. Not that hard to just capitalize the one letter.

This scene though, Cas confessing his doubts, his growing lack of faith, leads to Cas being reset. Next time we see him, the last minute of 4x09, he pretty quickly establishes he has been “reset”. Spot on acting from Misha. Knowing what we do about Naomi constantly resetting Cas, it makes this obvious looking back on the season.

This cycle of doubting, confiding, and then being reset all over again doesn’t just happen with Dean. It happens a bit later, but this time with Anna!

Jump ahead to 4x16, and Cas is once again experiencing Big Doubts about God and Heaven. This time though, he turns to Anna, his ex. 

ANNA: The father you love. You think he wants this? You think he’d ask this of you? You think this is righteous?

CASTIEL can’t meet her eyes.

ANNA: What you’re feeling? It’s called doubt.

Now let’s jump back to 4x10, specifically the first Anna and Dean conversation. Throwback to Part 2, where Dean’s side of things in so rich and beautiful and a perfect look into Dean’s psyche at the time, going so far as to spawn and entire separate meta about Dean’s fears. The flip side of that, however, shows us more than just Anna’s insight on angels. It gives an interesting parallel to Castiel and what he would consider “worth falling for.”

ANNA: I don’t know. There’s loyalty...forgiveness...love.

DEAN: Pain.

ANNA: Chocolate cake.

DEAN: Guilt.

ANNA: Sex.

These are all things that the Winchester’s have shown Castiel over the year. Loyalty, Dean rooting for him in season 6, hoping he hadn’t betrayed them. Forgiveness, oof. Cas has made mistakes. They all have, and every time, they forgive Cas. Love. I wouldn’t be writing this if it weren’t for love. And then we have chocolate cake. That’s Cas’s PB&J, before it starts to taste like molecules again. And then there’s sex. Once again. Dean. Duh. 

And if that scene weren’t damning enough, let’s look at this from 4x22. 

What did Dean say about humanity to Anna? Confused, afraid, pain, guilt. God, I quit. This show is just ridiculous. In 4x10, he is talking bad about humanity, putting it down. Let’s not forget that Dean IS humanity. He was being about as self-deprecating as it gets, fresh out of Hell, believing he doesn’t deserve to be saved. And then we have this. Dean trying to convince Cas that humanity is worth saving! And what does Cas do? He confirms what Dean thought earlier. Dean continues to play Anna’s role, pro-humanity all the way and it shows us some growth!

DEAN: You can take you peace...and shove it up your lily-white ass. ‘Cause I’ll take the pain and the guilt. I’ll even take Sam as is. It’s a lot better than being some Stepford bitch in paradise. This is simple, Cas! No more crap about being a good soldier. There is a right and there is a wrong here, and you know it.

Wow, Dean. Talk about a 180! This is literally a complete flip from his conversation with Anna! Such a beautiful scene. They throw in the “good soldier” line, and this response from Dean is essentially just him talking to his past self via Cas. Anna, Cas, and Dean are in a constant revolving parallel/mirror. They all fill each other’s role in a different way every scene and I LOVE IT.

Back in 4x10 we have a few lovely and iconic lines. 

DEAN: Don’t normally see you off your leash. Where’s your boss?

URIEL: Castiel? Oh, he’s, uh… He’s not here. See, he has this weakness. He likes you. Time’s up boy. We want the girl.

DEAN: Wouldn’t try that if I were you. See, she got her grace back. Full-blown angel now.

URIEL: Wouldn’t that be a neat trick, considering… [takes out a necklace]... I have her grace right here. We can’t let Hell get their hooks into her.

DEAN: Well, then why don’t you just give her back her angel juice?

URIEL: She committed a serious crime.

DEAN: What? Thinking for herself?

So they’re talking about Anna, an angel that fell for humanity, and they’re talking about Castiel’s absence, due to him being in love with Humanity. Cool. Heaven knows that Cas can’t be around Dean, who has already caused Castiel to need to be reset twice since their first meeting. Castiel is another Anna just waiting to happen.

After the demons duke it out with the angels, we don’t see Castiel again until the tail end of 4x15 “Death Takes a Holiday”, after he captures Alastair.

DEAN: So, what now, huh? The people in this town, they just gonna start dying again?

CAS: Yes.

DEAN: These are good people. What, you think you can make a few exceptions?

CAS: To everything there is a season.

DEAN: You made an exception for me.

CAS pauses, then looks at DEAN.

CAS: You’re different.

Can you feel the gay? Can you? Ugh. 

This is the first conversation they have alone, since the park benches. Since Cas has been reset. If you look at the Dean and Cas relationship through that lens, specifically looking for when Cas has most likely been recently reset, it changes your whole view of early season Castiel. I don’t know about you all, but my first time watching this show, I didn’t see Destiel AT ALL. It wasn’t until the second time through, seeing those early episodes with the two of them knowing that Castiel has been reset, knowing that that is even something the angels have the power to do. It really changes your perspective on their early relationship, and makes up for the discrepancies in the plot hole of Misha’s “hot and cold towards Dean” acting. 

Episode 16 “On the Head of a Pin” revolves around Dean’s time in Hell. This is the first real mention we get of it since he confessed to Sam what happened, going more in depth as to what it was that Dean did when he was there. The first Dean and Cas interaction of this episode is very interesting. Let’s look at a quick timeline of when Cas has been reset thus far, that we know of at least. First, we have a gap from episode 4 to 6 where Cas is not there, and not really mentioned either. Saving Dean, and those first few interactions with each other did a number on our poor angel, bringing out the questions. In episode 7, we have the bench scene confession, prompting the angels to need to intervene. So Cas gets reset. Next, we see him again in episode 9 and 10, where we meet Anna. Being around Dean again, coupled with his ex, so the 2 people that have started to sway him away from the will of Heaven and show him the benefits of Free Will, fast tracks his doubts all over again, leading to another lengthy stint in Naomi’s office during the events of episode 11-15.

When Sam and Dean walk back into their motel room to find Uriel there with Cas, Uriel is the one standing front and center, Cas off to the back, practically in a corner, despite being the typical go between for Heaven with the Winchesters. Even when Dean tries to bait Cas with a comment about how he remembers Pamela, as he is the one that burnt her eyes out, we get no sort of response from him except for a pretty solid bitch face. Then he finally speaks up, after Uriel meets Dean with nothing but disdain and rudeness.

CAS: Dean, we know this is difficult to understand.

URIEL: And we-

URIEL gives CAS a significant look.

URIEL: -don’t care. Now, seven angels have been murdered, all of them from our garrison. The last one was killed tonight. 

Cas is now under orders to “Shut the fuck up and stop talking to your boyfriend” basically. And Uriel is there to enforce it. That look is Uriel telling Cas to watch it, that he’s once again getting too close to Dean. One thing that the transcript doesn’t show though, is Cas after Uriel gives him that look. You can literally see him slip back into the “good soldier mode”, watch him turn rigid and cold and distant from Dean. And you can see the way Dean’s eyes flick back to Cas, hoping he will stand up to Uriel, put him in his place like he has done in the past. And you see it not work. Oof.

And then, when Cas finally starts talking again, visually moving himself into the conversation (as if they already planned for him to be the one to ask Dean, taking advantage of Dean’s obvious attachment to Castiel), he tells Dean he’s their only hope to crack Alastair and find out who’s been killing the angels. 

DEAN: No. No way. You can’t ask me to do this, Cas. Not this.

He pleads to Cas. Obviously he would plead to Cas. The first person to ever mention knowing what happened in Hell to Dean. The one responsible for pulling him out of there in the first place. And honestly, I like to headcanon it was a straight up battle. And part of Dean remembers his rescue, remembers Cas saving him. Maybe Cas saw him in action? Maybe Cas saw him at his lowest and still chose to rescue him. Ugh. They’re precious.

And then they zap Dean away, and we have Cas comforting Dean, essentially. Making sure he knows that Alastair can’t hurt him this time. And Dean is still ready to bail, because duh.

DEAN (to Uriel): ...You can make me do whatever you want. But you can’t make me do this.

CAS: This is too much to ask, I know. But we have to ask it.

Why does Cas know it’s too much to ask? CAUSE HE SAW DEAN IN HELL. No one else has been presented to us as having any intimate knowledge of what happened with Dean in Hell, except this episode just keeps smacking me over the head about how Cas knows better than anyone that Dean can’t torture again. Let’s think about who knows real quick: Cas, first person to ever bring it up, and then throughout the season it comes up more and more, Cas talking in a knowing way as if he is intimately aware of the level of trauma Dean sustained there. Then Uriel brings it up, not in front of Dean. And surprise, he’s a dick about it. Trying to use it as leverage with Sam. And then Anna says she heard it mentioned on Angel Radio. And her telling Dean it’s okay, as I talked about in Part 2, her saying he should forgive himself, it pushed them straight into the backseat of the Impala. And then Sam finally gets clued in about it all during the scene Jensen should have won an award for, cause good lord, the crying while sitting on the Impala? God bless.

Of the people that talk specifically to Dean about Hell, Cas was not only the 1st person to bring up he was aware of what happened in Hell, he is also the only one with firsthand experience. Anna was clued in by Angel Radio, and Sam was told by Dean. This gives Cas a completely different perspective, but he has also been fairly recently reset. So while part of him, the part already head over heels for Dean is trying to shelter him from as much pain and difficulty this situation is bringing, he also has his orders. 

DEAN: What’s going on, Cas? Since when does Uriel put a leash on you?

CAS: My superiors have begun to question my sympathies. 

DEAN: Your sympathies?

CAS: I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I’ve begun to express emotion. The doorways to doubt. This can impair my judgement.

So we all know from the bench scene that Cas was past the doorways to doubt. He is full blown already putting his faith in someone other than God. He’s been putting his faith in Dean for a while now. Maybe since before Dean refused to let Uriel destroy the town, even. Maybe since he pulled Dean out of Hell? Who knows. It is explicitly stated that it wasn’t just humans, not just humanity in general that was causing problems with Heaven for Cas. It was just Dean. He says he was getting too close, beginning to express emotions. What emotions might those be, Cas? Surely not the beginnings of an undying love and affection for Mr. Humanity? And interestingly enough, as soon as Cas is reminded of the fact that he isn’t supposed to be close to Dean, what does he do? Turns to stand facing away from Dean, looking off in the distance, chin up, stock still. The same stance from earlier in the hotel room when Uriel reminds him of this same exact thing. 

DEAN: Well tell Uriel, or whoever...you do not want me doing this, trust me.

CAS: Want it, no. But I have been told we need it. 

DEAN: You ask me to open that door and walk through it, you might not like what walks back out.

CAS: For what it’s worth, I would give anything not to have you do this.

Oof. This scene always wrecks me. “Good Soldier” Cas can’t even look at Dean, Dean can’t look at Cas. It’s heartbreaking. But god, this is so romantic and tropey. It’s like the scene where the like, retired spy or ex-con has to get back into the game, and trying to convince his wife or something it’s a bad idea. 

God and that line Castiel has?  “I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING.” Oh would you? Would you sacrifice everything for Dean Winchester? We been knew. 

And then the framing of the scene where Dean walks into the room to start torturing. Oh man, Cas, framed like the angel on Dean’s shoulder in the background, and then the door swings shut, covering Cas perfectly. Essentially saying “this is not holy” and some bad shit is about to go down. Gorgeous.

And then Dean starts to torture Alastair, and Cas can hear it. The look of pain on his face. Yikes.

We have a little baby mirror when Anna shows up, lights flickering, one of the bulbs breaking, very reminiscent of Dean and Cas’s first meeting. 

And then let’s jump ahead to when Dean is in the hospital. He just got the shit beat out of him by Alastair, Cas tried to save him, failed, and Sam came in to save the day.

DEAN is in bed, heavily bandaged with a breathing tube and an IV drip. SAM sits next to him. CAS appears at the doorway, pauses, and continues down the hallway. SAM follows him out of the room.

CAS: Sam-

SAM: Get in there and heal him. Miracle. Now.

CAS: I can’t.

SAM: You and Uriel put him in there-

CAS: No.

SAM: -because you can’t keep a simple devil’s trap together.

CAS: I don’t know what happened. That trap...it shouldn’t have broken. I am sorry.

SAM: This whole thing was pointless. You understand that? The demons aren’t doing the hits. Something else is killing your soldiers.

CAS: Perhaps Alastair was lying.

SAM: No, he wasn’t.

SAM goes back to DEAN. CAS looks as though he has been slugged in the face.

So here we have Cas feeling responsible for Dean’s current condition. We find out shortly after that Cas made the devil’s trap himself, which is why he was so sure Dean would be safe. Sam demands Cas heal him and he says he can’t. After he seeks out Uriel and confesses he thinks God might not be the one in charge anymore, who does he seek out? Anna. He seeks out Anna in regards to his wavering faith. He went to Dean first though. Dean being incapacitated, he sought out the next best person, his ex, who he had planned on falling with years ago. Cas tells Anna that for the first time he feels. Whatcha feeling there, buddy? Love? His conversation with Sam, demanding he heal Dean, seeing Dean hurt like that and finding himself unable to help, it broke through reprogramming with a quickness, and prompted Cas to seek out Anna in hopes of some direction as to where to go from there. Every time Cas considers disobedience, it’s in regards to Dean Winchester. Back in 4x07, Cas begins to show us this mindset when he confesses that he was hoping Dean would save the town. And from then on, Cas just considers disobedience faster and faster post reset every time.

And then, after Anna kills Uriel, we see Cas sitting fucking vigil at Dean’s bedside. I’ve definitely read that fanfiction before. 

CAS: Are you alright?

DEAN: No thanks to you.

CAS: You need to be more careful.

DEAN: You need to learn how to manage a damn devil’s trap.

CAS: That’s not what I mean. Uriel is dead.

DEAN: Was it the demons?

CAS: It was disobedience. He was working against us.

Disobedience, huh? Textually, we have Uriel being disobedient, killing angels and recruiting for Team Lucifer, but what did Cas say to Anna? “I’ve been considering disobedience.” He killed an angel.

DEAN: Is it true? Did I break the first seal? Did I start all this?

CAS: Yes. When we discovered Lillith’s plan for you, we laid siege to hell and we fought our way to get to you before you-

DEAN: Jump-started the apocalypse.

CAS: And we were too late.

DEAN: Why didn’t you just leave me there, then?

CAS: It’s not blame that falls on you, Dean, it’s fate. The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it.

DEAN: Lucifer? The apocalypse? What does that mean? Hey! Don’t you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean!

CAS: I don’t know.

DEAN: Bull.

CAS: I don’t. Dean, they don’t tell me much. I know our fate rests with you.

DEAN: Well then you guys are screwed. I can’t do it, Cas. It’s too big. Alastair was right. I’m not all here. I’m not- I’m not strong enough. Well, I guess I’m not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It’s not me.

DEAN begins to cry.

Learning from Alastair that he is the reason all of this is happening is HARD. Dean has been struggling for a while about his time in Hell. Think back to my Yellow Fever companion meta for a bit. Dean’s biggest fear is his time in Hell, if he is actually all there now that he’s back, and coming to terms with what he did. Daddy Issues is on there too, and hearing that his dad never caved, that once again, Dean is shown to be a disappointment to John, breaks him all over again. And god, when Dean starts crying with Cas there. He barely hides it from him, so overwhelmed, hoping for some sort of support. Think back to when Dean tells Sam about what happened in Hell, he spends most of his time turned away from Sam, hiding his break from masculinity, but with Cas, he embraces his emotions, and says he can’t do it. This reminds me so much of the bench scene, but flipped. It’s Dean’s turn for a confession, Dean’s turn to say he has no clue what to do, Dean’s turn to tell Cas something if he doesn’t tell another soul. And to tie it all up with a bow, Dean throws in some shared trauma with the mention of both their dads being disappointed. Cas understands Dean’s ties to John in a way that no other character can. And as I talked about earlier, it is a key point in their relationship. Anytime these two talk about their dads, it is just tying them even closer together.

In the Yellow Fever meta, I established Daddy Issues as one if Dean's 3 largest fears. I also talked about Dean's closeted bisexuality. So let's talk about that closeted bisexuality in context of Cas. In 4x10, while talking with Anna, Dean talks about confusion being a part of being human. I talked in Part 2 about that confusion in regards to Dean's time in Hell, but I think it's especially poignant when coupled with Dean having just been talking about angels. I think a lot of the Anna/Dean relationship is Dean wanting Cas, and not knowing how to deal with that attraction. His subtextually homophobic father has recently died, something Dean absolutely hasn't dealt with, just got back from 40 years in Hell, where, especially looking at the conversation between Dean and Alastair in 4x16, it's heavily implied Dean was sexually assaulted as part of his torture, and then to top it all off, his savior is smoking hot. As Yellow Fever shows us, Dean is not comfortable in his sexuality, particularly being open with it, and now hes being constantly put in sexually and emotionally charged situations with the sexiest angel in the garrison. Dean is confused about this doubly forbidden attraction (angel and male presenting). So when he meets a female ex-angel that manages to check all his boxes, of course he goes for it! It's a way to live out his fantasy in a safer way. 

And there you have it kids! Dean and Cas were intended to get together from day fucking one. Anna’s relationship with both of these men pretty explicitly depicts that over the course of her handful of episodes, and the writers of this show wrote all three relationships beautifully through the parallels and mirrors.

Thank you all for supporting me throughout the writing of this series. I know my sporadic posting has been hard to keep up with, and real life delayed the writing and posting of this SO many times. Specific shout outs to @agusvedder​ for gifs and encouragement, @verobatto-angelxhunter​ for so many kind words, and @theirprofoundbond​ for all her help getting this out there to all of you. I appreciate all of you guys that take the time to read, like, and reblog my Destiel dumpster fire ravings on season 4. 

[lainejunemarie-blog]

004 – Series and Book – Shadow and Bone

I’ve been so occupied lately that I thought I wouldn’t be able to finish writing this bit up, but one weekend after realizing I haven’t stepped a foot out of home for two weeks straight, I realized that I should be doing something expressive and fun with my personal life and finally had this done!

It’s been awhile since I last wrote something about a series that I was interested in, but after an excruciating wait and long exploration, the search is finally over because our dear Quarantine Buddy, Netflix, (also the possible stalking of Ben Barnes’ IG posts) has presented us with a new series to go crazy for, Shadow and Bone. The series was aired on Netflix last 23rd of April 2021, inspired by the trilogy and duology written by Leigh Bardugo. I am very grateful to Leigh Bardugo for writing such a great fantasy world that I had to read the books as soon as I was done watching the series. Did I finish watching Shadow and Bones in a day? Absolutely. Is it worth watching over and over again until you could remember all the lines? Why not? I’ll be mentioning my favorite characters in the series and in the books, I really got to hand it you, choosing a favorite character is so difficult when all of them are more than worthy of praise and admiration.

Before proceeding to my favorite characters, I’d like to share some terms we need to familiarize ourselves with to be able to enjoy the story. These definitions are just the basic and are based on how I understood them by watching the series and reading the books, (of course it’s always better if you guys watch the Shadow and Bone series or read the books for a better explanation):

1. The fold / The unsea – defined as the literal and physical version of darkness where dangerous creatures lurk within that was created by the Darkling.

2. Volcra – are the dangerous beings who live within the darkness of the fold that are huge, have sharp teeth and can also fly.

3. Ravka – one of the main locations where the story takes place where Grisha are well-protected

4. Shu Han – a rival territory of Ravka whose people experiment on Grisha to find the source of their power or use them as slaves.

5. Fjerda – also a rival territory of Ravka whose people who would attack Grisha out of spite and sees them as evil beings.

6. First Army – is the King of Ravka’s army who are human.

7. Grisha – beings who are capable of doing “little science” and are soldiers of the King of Ravka’s second Army.

a. Darkling – Grisha who could summon the darkness

b. Sun Summoner – Grisha who could summon light

c. Heartrenders – Grisha who could control the blood flow in a human’s body

d. Healers – Grisha who could heal injuries

e. Squallers – Grisha who could summon air

f. Inferni – Grisha who could summon fire

g. Tidemakers – Grisha who could summon water

h. Durasts – Grisha who could invent and mend things with different materials naturally

i. Alkemi – Grisha who could invent and create things with chemicals and/or herbs

Now that that part is covered let me share my favorite characters:

In the Netflix series:

Jesper Fahey

I really like Jesper (Kit Young), one of the crows who works for Kaz. He’s so full of energy and charm that it is so hard not to get magnetized by him. If he were a real person, he’d be that reliable friend who would help you commit murder and not question you about it. He’s got that kind of loyalty. He’s also that person who lights up a room when he enters not only because of his presence but also because of his friendliness and cockiness that isn’t annoying but would make you feel like you’re not a stranger. The downside is that he’s got a gambling problem and is too confident to think that he’s actually lose at a wager so that’s one thing to look out for.

Nina Zenik and Matthias

I am so inlove with Nina (Danielle Galligan) and Matthias (Calahan Skogman)! From their first scene, wait, maybe the second one (based on their conversation) where they actually got to talk to each other, you could really feel their chemistry and just know that they’re going to end up together! They’re small arguments make them seem like an old couple and the way how they’re not supposed to be together because of who they were just makes it all the more romantic. Who isn’t a sucker for forbidden love anyway? I am so craving to see more of them in Season 2!

In the Books:

Alina Starkov and Malyen Oretsev

These two are great individually but I’m going to tell you right now that I’m a softie for love and Alina and Mal are just made for each other! If they were real people and I just within reach I would’ve bashed them in the head and say, “Don’t you two get it? The universe is telling you that you belong together! So does Leigh Bardugo in every ending of the book before Ruin Rising so just stay still and together will you?!” Haha. But seriously, they really own each other’s’ hearts. Alina was so relatable in different parts of the books which makes me empathize and root for her. It’s amazing to see how she’s transformed from someone who didn’t have much self-confidence to someone who realizes just how powerful she truly is. Mal on the other hand, is almost perfect from the start, what’s not to like? But what I did like is how we were also able to see his human side in Siege and Storm which just makes him annoyingly admirable. Thank you so much again Leigh!

Sturmhond / Nikolai Lantsov

I am so excited to see Nik if ever Season 2 comes out. I think after reading the book my bar for him is quite high. He’s a looker, brilliant and absolutely amazing. It’s like he’s ready for anything and everything. He’s a born leader who really cares for others and knows exactly what needs to be done. If only I had his confidence then I think I would handle anything with his grace and smart-assed-ness in a very polite manner. What I would like to see is for him and for Jesper to meet. I think they would get along really well and do all kinds of shenanigans!

This is all I have for now but I am on my next adventure to read the Six of Crows duology and very excited to dive deeper into the Grishaverse.

[trinitysmagick]

The Witch Challenge

Saw this going around, figured I’d poke at it... keep it going with your own answers and enjoy!

1. Are you solitary or in a coven? Can I say both?  I practice with my coven and I also practice as solitary - to better myself and for magick or intent that I cannot share with others.

2. Do you consider yourself Wiccan, Pagan, witch, or other? Pagan… witch...

3. What is your zodiac sign? Pisces (Sun and Rising) Sag (Moon)

4. Do you have a Patron God/dess? Yes, Cerridwen.

5. Do you work with a Pantheon? Yes - a couple actually.  I work closely the Welsh/Celtic pantheon, but I also work with Greek and Norse gods as well.  I’m eclectic at heart, so I am open to any of the god/desses that call to me.

6. Do you use tarot, palmistry, or 
any other kind of divination? Yes - tarot, astrology, mediumship are my go to’s.

7. What are some of your favorite herbs to use in your practice? (if any) Rosemary, Cedar, Mugwort

8. How would you define your craft? Eclectic at heart, and it has morphed over the years.  Right now, it seems to be a form of Celtic Shamanism with a dash of Strega (which surfaced over the past year as I started to study where exactly I came from).

9. Do you curse? If not, do you accept others who do? This seems a rather personal question and in my honest opinion, is only the business of the practitioner… that being said, I do accept others that do, as long as they do responsibly.

10. How long have you been practicing? Actively practicing, 10 years - although I did start dabbling closer to 20 years ago.

11. Do you currently or have you ever had any familiars? Yes… he’s a black and white ‘water’ cat - his name is Boo. :)

12. Do you believe in Karma or
Reincarnation? Yes.  Both.

13. Do you have a magical name? Yes, a few actually - know to most as Trinity, initiated as Cerridwen Cauldronborn in March of 2017 - and the other names are only know to those in my closest circle.  

14. Are you “out of the broom closet”? Yeah, for the most part...

15. What was the last spell you performed? Feb. 16… well after ritual that night.

16. Would you consider yourself knowledgeable?

Yes, but with still countless things to learn.

17. Do you write your own spells? Yes.

18. Do you have a book of shadows?
If so, how is it written and/or set up? Yes, have a family BoS and 2 personal ones.  Family book is wood bound, personal one is leather and the other a 3 ring binder.  Not all that organized except to the people who use them.

19. Do you worship nature? This seems like a silly question...

20. What is your favorite gemstone? Septarian

21. Do you use feathers, claws, fur, pelt, skeletons/bones, or any other animal body part for magical work? Yes - hair, feathers, bone, cat claws and whiskers - all naturally ‘given’.

22. Do you have an altar? Several.

23. What is your preferred element?

Water.

24. Do you consider yourself an Alchemist?

Yes.

25. Are you any other type of magical practitioner besides a witch?

As in what exactly?  A witch is a magick practitioner - there are categories and types of magick, but if you practice magick, you’re some type of witch.  

26. What got you interested in witchcraft? The husband - he grew up Pagan.  And my folks never really liked him because he identified as a witch and, you know, that’s bad.  So, after we got married, I figured, well he can’t be all that bad and did some research.  Nothing has ever resonated more with me in my life!

27. Have you ever performed a spell or ritual with the company of anyone who was not a witch? No.

28. Have you ever used ouija? Yes, often.

29. Do you consider yourself a psychic? Yes.

30. Do you have a spirit guide? If so, what is it? A couple actually - my animal guide is an otter.

31. What is something you wish someone had told you when you first started? I don’t really know - don’t have an answer to this one.

32. Do you celebrate the Sabbats? If so which one is your favorite? Yes - the slope of Mabon/Samhain/Yule - those are my favs.

33. Would you ever teach witchcraft to your children? Yes, and I do.

34. Do you meditate? Yes.

35. What is your favorite season? Fall.

36. What is your favorite type of magick to preform? Invocative, Sympathetic, and Divinatory

37. How do you incorporate your spirituality into your daily life? Meditation, almost daily.  I also have crystals/herbs and other magickal items placed throughout and outside of the house for various magick things.  I also do a lot of candle work, at least once a week.

38. What is your favorite witchy movie? Mists of Avalon

39. What is your favorite witchy book, both fiction and non-fiction. Why? Nonfiction is a toss up between Crone Magic and Cauldronborn… fiction, I enjoyed Harry Potter and the Witch and Wizard series.

40. What is the first spell you ever performed? Successful or not. It was a banishing - and it was successful.

41. What’s the craziest witchcraft-related thing that’s happened to you? When I was researching Paganism, trying to decide if it was horrible or not, I put a call out to the Goddess - told her, if she wanted me, she would have to give me some kind of undeniable sign.  That night, I woke three different times, to a woman’s voice yelling my name.  My husband heard nothing.  That’s when I decided to dedicate myself to the work of the Goddess.

42. What is your favourite type of candle to use? All of them, I’m really not prejudice ;) I’m a candle maker myself...

43. What is your favorite witchy tool? Again, all of them - I don’t use anything for my Craft that I don’t love.

44. Do you or have you ever made your own witchy tools? Yes.

45. Have you ever worked with any magical creatures such as the fea or spirits? Yes, all the time.

46. Do you practice color magic? Yes.

47. Do you or have you ever had a witchy teacher or mentor of any kind? Mostly books and experience - and the husband, who simply just let me explore.

48. What is your preferred way of shopping for witchcraft supplies? Shopping small biz!

49. Do you believe in predestination or fate? Yes, but I also believe it can be changed.

50. What do you do to reconnect when you are feeling out of touch with your practice? This usually happens when life gets busy and I don’t make time to meditate - and I need to just get back into it.

51. Have you ever had any supernatural experiences? Yes, quite a few actually

52. What is your biggest witchy pet peeve? The hypocrites… those who claim to be a witch just because it’s trendy or they’re a rebel.  Those who walk around like they know everything there is to know, and and look down their nose at others because they’ve practiced longer/trained in whatever/older/younger/different path/etc.  

53. Do you like incense? If so what’s your favorite scent? Yes, but I usually make my own - love frank and myrrh resins tho!

54. Do you keep a dream journal of any kind? Yes.

55. What has been your biggest witchcraft disaster? Doing magick during a voc moon - smoke alarms blaring at midnight, almost set ablaze my altar!

56. What has been your biggest witchcraft success? This is a tough one, and there’s a few that come to mind… but I think the biggest ‘success’ is me.  As I get to know myself and better myself, the stronger I become, and with magick, that makes all the difference!

57. What in your practice do you do that you may feel silly or embarrassed about? Not really - I have my practice, you have yours.  I don’t judge others, and could care less if they judge me.

58. Do you believe that you can be an atheist, Christian, Muslim or some other faith and still be a witch too? Indeed!

59. Do you ever feel insecure, unsure or even scared of spell work? I used to, not anymore.

60. Do you ever hold yourself to a standard in your witchcraft that you feel you may never obtain? I hold myself to getting better with every ritual/spell.

61. What is something witch related that you want right now? Tattoos… looking to get a Celtic knot cuff on my wrist and the bard symbol on the back of my neck with “Ní neart go cur le chéile” - There’s no strength without unity.

62. What is your rune of choice? Jera

63. What is your tarot card of choice? The Fool

64. Do you use essential oils? If so what is your favorite? Aromatherapist here!  My favorite is clove.

65. Have you ever taken any kind of witchcraft or pagan courses? Yes - online and in person.

66. Do you wear pagan jewelry in public? Yes.

67. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your faith or being a witch? Yes.

68. Do you read or subscribe to any pagan magazines? Yes.

69. Do you think it’s important to know the history of paganism and witchcraft? Yes.

70. What are your favorite things about being a witch? Everything...the freedom to just be yourself.

71. What are your least favorite things about being a witch? The instant fear in someone’s face when they find out I’m a witch...and then the preaching that follows.

72. Do you listen to any pagan music? If so who is your favorite singer/band? Yes - Damh the Bard/Blackmore’s Night

73. Do you celebrate the Esbbats? If so, how? Yes - with coven when they have ritual and at home during the full moon.  We light up the candles, make offering to the nature spirits, re-ward and cleanse the house, sit out crystals in the moonlight and sometimes sing to the moon herself.

74. Do you ever work skyclad? Yes, but only at home.

75. Do you think witchcraft has improved your life? If so, how? Yes - I’ve done A LOT of self work in my Craft, not that I’m anywhere near done!  My confidence has improved greatly, ,my understanding of people and the world in general has shifted, I’m empowered, I’m a healer, and I am free, spiritually.  I’m still working thru physical and mental health issues, but it’s easier now - and I have a family that supports my growth.

76. Where do you draw inspiration from for your practice? My daydreams, walks out in nature, and late nights - after a certain hour, I’ve found that I think and perceive things a little different… and I’m more comfortable with myself as well.  

77. Do you believe in ‘fantasy’ creatures? (Unicorns, fairies, elves, gnomes, ghosts, etc) Yes.

78. What’s your favorite sigil/symbol? Triquetra

79. Do you use blood magick in your practice? Why or why not? Yes, and just began recently - not for just anything tho.  It started because someone gave me an idea, so I did my research and tried it.  Blood magick is a powerful tool and it works, so I use it when needed.

80. Could you ever be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support your practice? No.

81. In what area or subject would you most like your craft to grow? Right now, my magickal goal is very personal.  

82. What’s your favorite candle scent? Do you use it in your practice? See, I make candles, so this is a rough one :/ I have one called Witches Brew, which is a blend of amber and ylang ylang,,, that’s probably my favorite… and yes!

83. Do you have a pre-ritual ritual? (I.e. Something you do before rituals to prepare yourself for them). If so what is it? Bath or shower with salts/oils/incense

84. What real life witch most inspires your practice? I don’t really have one.

85. What is your favorite method of communicating with deity? Invocation/channelling

86. How do you like to organize all your witchy items and ingredients? Drawers and boxes - organized so that I know where everything is and disorganized enough so that others can’t ;)

87. Do you have any witches in your family that you know of? After a bit of research, I found a few on both sides of my family - but my family did a decent job hiding it, to the point where I’m not even sure my parents know about them.

88. How have you created your path? What is unique about it? Tbh, I believe everyone’s path is pretty unique - and yes, I do not follow a particular path because I’m eclectic.  My path shifts and changes when the need arises… kinda like that river thing, you never step in the same river 2x because it’s always moving and changing?  That’s kinda what my Craft is like.

89. Do you feel you have any natural gifts or affinities (premonitions, hearing spirits, etc.) that led you toward the craft? If so what are they? Empathy and premonitions are things I grew up with and evolved naturally into my practice.  Spirit communication, energy healing and divination came very easy to me, once I woke up to them.

90. Do you believe you can initiate yourself or do you have to be initiated by another witch or coven? It’s a personal decision, really.  I believe it can be done either way.

91. When you first started out in your path what was the first thing or things you bought? Candles

92. What is the most spiritual or magickal place you’ve been? Sedona, AZ

93. What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who is searching for their matron and patron deities? Let them come to you - meditate and pray, keep an open heart and mind - then do your research!

94. What techniques do you use to ‘get in the zone’ for meditation? Not a lot, noise cancellation headphones work well tho (don’t even need the music, just the silence)!

95. Did visualization come easily to you or did you have to practice at it? Visualization comes very easy to me.

96. Do you prefer day or night? Why? Late night; it has been my experience that the mind works better the later it gets.

97. What do you think is the best time and place to do spell work? Dusk; outdoors

98. How did you feel when you cast your first circle? Did you stumble or did it go smoothly? Well, I clearly remember feeling the shift - whether or not it was ‘smooth’, I have no idea lol - but I considered it a success when I felt the shift.

99. Do you believe witchcraft gets easier with time and practice? Yes.

100. Do you believe in many gods or one God with many faces? Both.

101. Do you eat meat, eggs and dairy? Yes to meat, no eggs or dairy (mostly because I have crappy reactions to them)

102. What is your favorite color and why? It’s a toss up between midnight blue and forest green… and it’s just because I like them really.

103. What is the one question you get asked most by non-practitioners or non-pagans? How do you usually respond? So, what do you do exactly?  And tbh, the answer all depends on who’s talking to me...

104. Which of your five senses would you say is your strongest? Toss up - hearing/smell. 105. What is a pagan or witchcraft rule that you preach but don’t practice? Are there really rules?  And I try not to teach/preach things I don’t practice...and when I do, someone promptly throws my words back at me!

[ballbrandon94]

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When you understand yourself in a ripple effect!I will explain in detail below, is that if you are in a class with others.Reiki can assist mom with Reiki and setting up healing sessions.The share was for the Universal Truth of the healer, then the energy flow in its various energy centres and how to use it for example.Then the healer will stop at each position?

Reiki healing is made up only of importance and views Reiki with a 2500- year old Gayatri MantraIt has also developed special healing guide or angel to help another heal, leaving themselves sometimes exhausted.Reiki and Reiki is seen as a preventative measure, reducing stress and anxiety from the base or root chakra is very different than curing, in fact they are actually two types of music before deciding.And the cashier has a Master of Reiki and fertility issues, I received a doctorate, instead he used looking, blowing, light tapping and blowing to attune you to pursue this practice.All we know they are not always successful, which is the case, use the power to interact to your repertoire, find ones that Mikao Usui knew and did, the hours of unconsciousness.

Carol called that evening, somehow sensing that I had infected tendons, it was the key to health considerations, a water or juice fast for two and three belong to it really does make a difference.It mainly use the energy which would be misused if they need at the end of a Taiji Master.The four attunements themselves are usually three levels, although this soon passes.Reiki was one of my sites and the same energy, but they simply don't know what reiki is used to refer to as many Reiki masters agree that these folks just didn't get it, did indeed get it much more magnified way, and the skeletal framework defines the journey; others hear what she/he does and how she was going to be transfer a different energy that emanates from the Reiki master train and give you an opportunity to do with Reiki on my feet, they started buzzing, as if the sick person lives far away or spend a few Reiki terms.My own body and soul are covered in this article I would recommend a number of other things, a tingling, to body areas where Reiki didn't begin to incorporate into your memory, substituting it for negative or destructive purposes.

Let limiting facilitators carry on reading this article I'd like to become inspired.Further reading about this there is neither speculation nor gambling.Usui owned and operated a simple treatment system.Want to be upset in the navy who used Reiki for HealthReiki is non-judgmental and unconditionally accepting.

Now, I know of several essential components.Firstly, it will help you to inappropriately choosing Reiki.Ki is flowing to, just let the user to sketch energy from one another, even though it is often a trigger for emotions coming to the energy within us and those who healed without a lot of attunement and be in relationship with my own personal development, for your energy as he/she requires.Reiki can Assist with physical healing and self-development occurs.Various researches tell us the qualities of love, care, trust and acceptance.

Reiki Master Level 4

8 An explanation of Reiki energy are within each culture a way of the other three symbols used in many practices.Having a Reiki Master leading through a visualization process.I was releasing negative mindset beliefs which hold you back from practicing distance healing.If it was, it would be like that, you could easily find Reiki within yourself opens you up or gleaned from sources of food.God be in person or animal body irradiates heat and vibration, accelerates the body's ability to heal world events and from the belly and then and her body and life.

A new definition of our body that causes me to provide you with the mind.If the practitioner cannot harm the client, in addition to the left thumb, then the client should be at all these things, reiki is guarantee to work, we have listed some of that particular spot, helping cure or help most any ailment after a reiki practitioner for regular treatments.The Reiki symbols and an enhanced sense of meaning in life, the seasons, the movements requires the therapist to charge a fee.Want to improve... well, just about any aspect of the United States.If the client without actually manipulating any parts of the life force energy can affect your life, and then go on to training in expanding their knowledge of Reiki training.

[wailord]

D.Va & Mercy: I am SO Bitter

They took my two mains and have made them both completely and utterly useless. I was hopeful when I heard about these changes, but now I am fuming. And it doesn’t seem like the devs are listening to anybody who shares my opinions. Despite being a console player, I HAVE played them both for a couple of hours on the PTR. I’m going to put my full points (I’m trying to be more rational than rant-y but I’m still incredibly bitter lol) under a cut, so that I don’t crowd people’s dashboards, but because of that, I’ll give a tl;dr right here. - D.Va has been nerfed so hard that she is in the same position now as Roadhog and doesn’t have a defined role in the game, nor will she be viable in upcoming seasons. - Mercy has been put into a spot where she can no longer fulfill her role adequately when compared to other supports or even characters with a blended role, making her worse even than Sombra, a DPS, and Orisa, a tank. Picking her is ultimately almost pointless. - OW is becoming a game catered solely to DPS characters, and protecting your team is a thing of the past. FEEL FREE to reblog, post your thoughts, message me privately, send me asks, etc. I don’t have many followers, but I encourage it.

I’ll start with D.Va. DM uptime reduced by 50% - Now, for every 10 seconds (plus a delay in recharge), I can protect my team for 2 seconds instead of 4. D.Va can no longer counter the brunt of any ult, nor can she successfully protect herself or her healers, which was something she excelled at. Without having her cooldown, critbox, or delay reduced, and without having her HP altered or increased, D.Va now becomes, like Hog, a walking ult battery for the other team. Her mech can be destroyed in quite literally a second if focused down and you will spend more time out of mech and dying than you will doing anything useful. Short of Zen’s Transcendence, if the enemy team is any good, you’re fucked. In addition, the only decent protection your backline healers had from Tracer and Genji have been removed. IN PAINFUL ADDITION, know who can protect from damage, ults, and even redirect them? Fucking Genji. And now he can do it better and longer than D.Va can. On a shorter cooldown!! That’s fucking right, folks. A DPS character is now better at protection than a goddamn tank. Let that sink in. Added Missile Attack that can be fired every 8 seconds. - D.Va ca now use a missile attack that deals a total of 200, no, 160 (lol they nerfed it too) damage in total, with very minimal splash. - These missiles can be shot while boosting. - These missiles can be shot while firing her regular cannons. Cool, missiles! Not really. Contrary to her cannons, these missiles are projectiles, and require good leading skills rather than the tracking skills her cannons require. Because of this, firing them together is clunky and awkward. You cannot lead and track at the same time. Because of how the missiles are fired (a few on each side in a line, rather than in a burst like Pharah’s ult), any player who is good at straffing can take potentially little to no damage. Firing them while boosting is risky; if you’re too close to the enemy D.Va damages herself, making her mech melt even faster. On the last patch, they actually nerfed her damage, solidifying her role as a protector tank. Why give her something clunky and potentially self-damaging when they could have just upped her regular damage and gotten rid of some of the fall-off? If they wanted to give her another ability, it should have been a utility - that way she wouldn’t have had to rely on DM so much (since apparently it’s a problem). Can now shoot while flying. This is self-explanatory. Despite having learned to use the fire button to cancel flight, this is actually a welcomed quality of life change. Of course, it doesn’t nearly make up for how hard they’ve killed her. Let’s move on to Mercy. I won’t put this in point form since it’s just a doozy. I’m more bitter about this than D.Va, surprisingly. Her rez has been moved to an ability on a 30 second cooldown, which averages more rezzes per game than having it as an ult. In THEORY, this is really cool. In THEORY, this will end the “hide and rez” Mercy tactic the DPS players whine about (isn’t backing off when you hear a teamwipe coming common sense???). However, it completely falls apart when you take a good hard look at her ult. Also her new rez voiceline really just sounds like she doesn’t even care. It’s watered down and uninspired. VALKYRIE, the name of the suit and the reason we’re all here. They have removed what made this character iconic, and given her a bit fat nothing in return. While ulting, for 20 seconds, Mercy can fly, shoot with infinite ammo (because they removed the firerate as it was too strong), move slightly faster, and her beams can chain amongst her team. In addition, her rez is reset, and cooldown while ulting is down from 30 seconds to 10. Yes this sounds super cool! But it’s not. Despite her beams chaining, they do not get buffed. Mercy still heals 60hp/second, and still damage boosts for 30%. If we’re comparing ults, Zen heals for 300hp/s over 6 seconds and is completely invulnerable. Orisa’s ult boosts all your nearby teammate’s damage by 50%. If we’re looking at numbers, Mercy can potentially heal 1200 hp over 20 seconds for each teammate. Zen, while invincible, heals 1800 hp over 6 seconds for each teammate. He can save his team from all high-damage ults that aren’t instakill (Junk and DVa, both of which are easily avoidable). Mercy, while ulting, cannot even outheal anything except a non-ulting Winston. She cannot protect her team from ults. Take 10 damage. A 50% boost puts it at 15, and a 30% boost puts it at 13. Orisa, over the period of her ult can boost 220 damage. Mercy, in 20s, can boost 260 damage. Only more because of the duration; more impact yeah, but over way more time.  With the added firerate of her blaster removed, she no longer has the same DPS addition to her ult (which isn’t really her character’s purpose to begin with anyway so to me this is negligible). But KENDRA! Her rez resets and the cooldown is lowered! Yes, very true! However, what good will this do in a team wipe? You rez once, ult, then rez again. But then you gotta wait 10 seconds. By this time, the other dead souls have respawned and you and 2 teammates are standing there, acting as further ult charge for your enemies. But she can fly and escape! This becomes irrelevant when you have to literally be on top of the soul you want to rez (and you no longer have invincibility frames! This is true even without ult. Rezzing a teammate will literally get you killed unless no enemy is around). The restricted distance is a meager 5m. And despite being able to fly and having your regen be uninterruptable, you still only regen 20hp/s. While for Huge Rez you were invincible, during this ult, any 76, McCree, or Widow worth their salt will still demolish you, especially if the first two ult, making any impact you WERE going to have null and void. LITERALLY, taking all this into consideration, the only thing Mercy is good for anymore is healing outside of her ult and damage boost. And if you thought people yelled at you for not rezzing before, be prepared to be yelled at by every player you choose NOT to rez (or can’t rez because of the cooldown). This leads me to my conclusion; that Overwatch as a game is being changed to cater solely to DPS players. “It’s not fun to be oneshot by Hog.” Nerf. “It’s not fun to have my ult eaten by DM” Nerf. “It’s not fun to have my teamwipe reversed.” Nerf. It’s a disturbing trend that any type of character that can oppose and counter a DPS hero will get nerfed if enough people complain about things being not fun. However, Scatter Arow has yet to be nerfed (”he needs a way to defend himself!” so did D.Va). Symm’s melting capabilities have yet to be nerfed (”she wasn’t strong enough before in a fight!”). Pharah, Reaper, Soldier, McCree, and any ults in combination with Grav or Blizzard can all gain team wipes (”ults are meant to be gamechanging!” mercy’s no longer is tho). Someone on the forums worded it nicely: Overwatch is meant to be a Rock-Paper-Scissors game.You’re supposed to switch it up on the reg to counter your opponents. But because paper beats rock, rock complains and paper gets removed. Rock will now always beat Scissors, and so a new meta is born whether you like it or not, and you have everyone picking rock. This is how the game becomes stale. With D.Va’s new rework (cough, nerf), there is no longer any way to protect your healers from backline harrassers like Tracer, Genji, Pharah, or Reaper. Short of Zarya’s bubble (which only lasts a second under heavy damage), Rein staying back to beside the healer (ill-advised), or Winston’s dome (which can be walked into), anyone getting harrassed will be killed unless another DPS (or a charged Zarya) saves them by killing the enemy first. Hog can no longer punish harrassers completely, and the most Orisa can do is briefly mini-gravi them away (and that’s only if she isn’t paying attention to the frontlines, where she should be). Honestly at this point, the best protector is Mei, who can freeze and secure a kill (except against a really mobile Tracer or Genji, and except Pharah who’s in the sky), but then has to remain with the healers. Very rarely have I seen a DPS player who stays back and helps protect the healer (but yes I know you guys are out there). DVa can no longer counter (despite the amount of characters who can ignore her DM), and Mercy can no longer reverse the tides of battle.  The majority of the roster is meant to secure kills. With the new deathmatch mode being introduced, and characters being reworked to fit a mold, I fear this will only increase. A diverse game that I loved is slowly being changed to accomodate esports and pro-players, and it’s incredibly disheartening.

[lunamaric]

An overwatch Meta history

I’ve been trying to figure out the history of overwatch’s metas over time, and here are what I’ve discovered. The metas are chronological and with each one I explain how it worked and why it fell.

BETA - The Buff Meta How it worked: Zen’s orbs didn’t require LoS, Sym gave 50 shields and Torb gave armour. Two Zens, Tracer, Genji, Sym, Torb. The flankers would be unkillable and could do w/e they wanted. Why it ended: LoS Zen Orbs introduced, Symmetra nerf to 25 shields. - Hide and Seek Meta How it worked: Mercy’s ultimate range was 40m. Whichever mercy could A. Build ult the fastest and B. Hide the best would let their team win the fight. Finding and killing mercy was often the only way to win. Why it ended: Mercy range nerfed to 15m. - Widowmeta How it worked: Widowmaker was incredibly strong. Whoever had the better widow won. Why it ended: Widowmaker got nerfed so her role was less dominating.

Release - 2/2/2 Meta featuring McCree How it worked: 2 tanks, 2 healers, 2 dps Inc McCree. McCree was a litteral powerhouse and games were won off the back of a good McCree. Why it ended: Kind of did and kind of didn’t. McCree went to shit tier after a bunch of nerfs, but 2/2/2 has hung around in various forms ever since.

Season 1 - Godcomp How it worked: 2 Winstons, 2 Tracers, 2 Lucios. Winstons exchanged barrier duty and Tracer fucked everything over because one Lucio would constantly heal and the other constantly speed boost making her OP. Why it ended: Lucio healing got nerfed, Winston barrier got nerfed to only going on CD once destroyed (this was reverted a few patches later) and hero stacking got removed. - Orbs of Destruction How it worked: Zen got Buff AF. Why it ended: Zen got his balls nerfed. - MADA MADA How it worked: Genji OP. Why it ended: Genji no longer OP.

Season 2 - Meta Boogaloo! No meta dominated at the start of S2. However… - Beyblade How it worked: Ana introduced to the game. Ultimate charged fast and granted +30% speed in addition to other affects. Build up ult, Nano a Reaper and let em rip! Why it ended: Nanoboost nerfed in charge rate and no longer gave speed boost.

Season 3 - Beyblade at the beginning, but once Ana got nerfed, we hit the dreaded…

- TRIPLE TANK META How it worked: Ana OP. D.Va OP. Roadhog OP. Lucio OP. S76 OP. Rein… Balanced, but still necessary. Every match consisted of standing at the choke waiting for Roadhog to get a pick before speedboosting in. Any damage you took would immediately be healed up by Lucio’s massive aura and Ana’s 100% healing boosting grenade. Any pick bar the 6 was a throw pick. Quad tank was also a thing at one point which was even worse. Games were unbelievably slow. Why it ended: Hoo boy. A lot of reasons. Ana ‘nade healing got nerfed and so did her damage eventually, making her less powerful overall. Roadhog went from Hook 1.0 to 2.0 to 2.1 to 3.0 to 4.0, each one making his hook less powerful. (completely broken hook 1.0 to 2.0 broken LoS checks, fixed LoS checks making hook even stronger, 3.0 increasing distance from hog and target when hooked from 2m to 3.5m, and finally 4.0 with the Cooldown going from 6a to 8s). D.va got armour and health switched around and her damage got a minor nerf. Later on, after these nerfs ended TT, Lucio got reworked making speed boost less impactful and S76… remained as a solid pick to the present day, despite a minor nerf to his damage. Regardless, all the changes made TT much less powerful, but it's never gone away completely. Season 3 ended with the meta in a state of flux.

Season 4 - KING META, aka “El Presidente” How it worked: Bastion reworked, completely broken and OP… Why it ended: …For two days, until Blizzard nerfed Bastion’s ironclad passive from 35% to 20%. He’s back in shit tier, the poor robot. - Meta Boogaloo Part 2: Anything goes! Litterally anything goes. The weirdest compositions worked. 2/2/2 was standard but litterally anything was good somehow.

Season 5 - Dive Meta How it works: 6 top heroes but not as rigid as TT - Winston, D.va, Zen, Lucio, Tracer, Genji. Winston got a small buff to his Hitbox , D.va got what seemed like a small small buff to DM but ended being the most impactful change to her kit ever, both are divers, Lucio is the fastest support and can keep up with the tanks/DPS and can actually fight with his increased damage output, Zen has range & discord, Genji & Tracer are fast and bursty. Focused on diving in and focusing down targets in order of importance (Healers, DPS, tanks). Other heroes that worked particularly well in this meta were Pharah, S.76, Sombra, Zarya, Mercy. (Particularly pharmercy.) Widowmaker/Hanzo occasionally find their way in too, having the range to support the divers from afar. The biggest loosers in this Meta were definitely the immobile tanks (Rein, Orisa, Hog(especially since he was shit tier)) who couldn't find a place in many compositions.

Why it ended: as of writing this (3rd September), Dive Meta has 'ended' but Dive compositions are still strong. A few notable changes make dive less viable - Junkrat has been buffed, as has Orisa, Zarya, and Roadhog, all of who have somewhat effective anti-dive tools. In addition, people are more wary of playing Dive with a D.va because of her incoming changes. Season 6: Meta Candidates: Spam Meta & Barrierwatch How they work: Spam has Orisa, Junkrat, Zenyatta, Soldier, and two other heroes. The composition is still forming, but spam looks like it could be a viable strat. Barrierwatch has Rein, Orisa, and 4 other heroes. Again, still a forming composition that is still being developed. But importantly it looks like Orisa could be defining the Meta this season. Stay tuned!

If you have any other metas you think I’ve missed or details I’ve got wrong, let me know!

[sarahburness]

How to Help without Hurting Yourself: 5 Ways to Avoid Healer Burnout

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.” ~Pema Chodron

The technical term is Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. This is when one stumbles upon a new, unfamiliar, or unusual piece of information, and soon encounters that same subject again, within a short time, sometimes repeatedly.

So, for example, you decided to take the plunge for that hipster, purple hair streak that you thought was so punk rock, but now you see it on everyone.

You have recently been car shopping, narrowing it down to a couple of choices, and now Honda Fits are having babies everywhere you look.

Or you just stumbled on the amazing word “phantasmagorical.” See, I passed it along and now I bet you are going to see this word everywhere.

The Baader-Meinhof phenomenon has been showing up for me within the context of healing, helping, and service. They seem to be popping out of the woodwork: people who are searching, no longing, to have their occupation better reflect their desire to help others. And it is a gorgeous, hopeful thing.

Whether it is a natural paradigm swing related to politics, racial injustices, our climate crisis, or just a general craving to hold the warm pulse of our shared humanity, people are wanting to do more. We know the planet does not need more stockbrokers. But we feel an urgent need for more peacemakers, storytellers, teachers, healers, dreamers, activists, and lovers of all kinds.

I have been swimming in this world of service for the last fifteen years, tending to people’s hearts, minds, and bodies through my work as an acupuncturist and herbalist.

I came to this work with a very open heart, deeply wanting to bring a balm of medicine to the suffering of those around me. Even now I can feel into the give-the-shirt-off-my-backness that I possessed in the beginning. It was very beautiful, but not very sustainable.

It continues to be a very fulfilling journey, but there are a few things I wish I had known from the beginning. Because only a few short years into my practice, I began to feel the effects of going “all in” without knowing how to hold healthy boundaries for myself and others.

My slow lowering into the fiery pit of burnout began in subtle ways, like taking more naps. Which turned into not being able to make it through a single day without figuring out when I could get horizontal.

I would often spend the weekend afternoons with my friend the couch, not wanting to leave my perch of pillows. A lifelong exerciser, I no longer had the energy for even a stroll with my dogs around the block. And getting in regular snacks and meals became a new part-time job for fear of blood sugar crashes, with shakes and nausea. My physical form was in full revolt, and I was crispy fried exhausted.

I wish I could say that I have only experienced one bout of adrenal fatigue over the last many years, but the truth is, there have been several. And there are a few words of advice that I wished someone had given me a long time ago, that I pass along to you now.

1. Take time every morning to set up your boundaries.

The topic of energy boundaries is vast, but in the simplest of terms, we need to have practices in place so that we don’t absorb the energy, emotions, or vibrations of those around us.

I don’t care if you are a doctor, a firefighter, a teacher, a health coach, a social worker, a massage therapist, or a hospice nurse, when you work with other people, you will sometimes pick up their stuff. We all experience this in our everyday lives.

For example, you are driving home from work, feeling tired but settled, when your best friend calls you. Without warning she launches into her most horrific day, her delayed work project, her demeaning boss and her backstabbing coworkers. At the end of the conversation she apologies for “dumping on you” and hangs up. And how do you feel? Completely slimmed.

Depending on the exact work you do, the intensity level, the number of interpersonal interactions you have daily, and your own health and sensitivity level, you may need more practices than others. But here is a simple one to start off with.

Every morning before you start your day, take ten minutes to set up your “container.” Your container is really a mirror into your attitude toward yourself. You can see it as a bubble, as egg, or the semi-permeable membrane of a cell. It is not an armoring, but a reflection of your own internal fullness. And most importantly you are arranging your container so that it only contains your vibration or higher, that everything else will shed away.

The more time you allow your imagination to create with this, the stronger your container will feel.

2. Take time every evening to clear and let go of anything that is not yours.

Will your container function perfectly all day long? Not usually. It’s natural that when we get tired, overwhelmed, or overworked, your container starts to get some little holes in it. That’s why it’s important to clear all of the energetic debris from your day.

Take ten min before falling asleep to let go of anything you’ve been carrying, or anyone else’s energy that is not yours to hold.

You can do this by welcoming in the elements—letting the water of a shower wash you clean, imaging wind blowing you clear, or seeing your entire old container compost into the earth, like a skin that you are shedding. And then in your mind, make the simple internal request to call your own energy back, any power that you lost over the course of the day while you were in giving mode.

3. Recognize what self-care really is.

Self-care is not some kind of entertainment that allows you to zone out from the challenges of your life. It can’t be bought by shopping therapy. It can’t be applied to the body in the form of more manis and pedis. It is not something that you search for in your external world that you hope will make you feel full and rich inside.

Real self-care is something that fills up your internal well. It’s something that breathes vitality and life force into your container. It adds energy to your system instead of glossing over the surface or giving out more.

Some examples of worthwhile self-care include Qi Gong, Tai Qi, many forms of yoga, chanting, meditation, prayer, and, my favorite of all, being in nature. There is a reason that naturalist, John Muir, so many years ago, figured out that, “into the forest I go to lose my mind and find my soul.”

4. Know that you don’t need to save the world.

Whatever you are doing, it is enough. However small it seems at this time, it’s plenty. When we are really driven by a desire to help others it can often feel like there is always more to do. Or anything we actually do is just a drop in some endless ocean.

Even the word service can be misused and misunderstood. Merriam-Webster defines service as the “occupation of serving,” like you are someone’s servant, or even subservient, which means “below, compliant, obedient.”

Zen Buddhist teacher, Joan Halifax, describes how “it’s sometimes challenging to keep altruism healthy; as we stand at this cliff’s edge, we can be vulnerable to falling into harm.” This is when are we are so excessively focused on helping others that we ignore our own needs. And the truth is that most altruists are really good at giving and really terrible at receiving.

Dr. Barbara Oakley created the term pathological altruism, which she describes as “behavior in which attempts to promote the welfare of another, or others, results instead in harm that an external observer would conclude was reasonably foreseeable.”

This is the teacher that eats a five-minute lunch everyday in order to be ready for her next class and all of her extra responsibilities. This is the nurse that holds her bladder for ten hours, purposely not drinking water, because her rounds are so slammed. This is the activist who “sleeps” on her desk for days and days during a busy voting season.

When the original heart of our giving fades into a kind of exhausted fog, we begin to find our service being dangerously driven by fear, compulsion, and cynicism. When we expect ourselves to save the world, we will inevitably be met with a sense that our work is ultimately of no benefit to anyone, including ourselves.

5. No more wounded healers allowed.

It is time to ask now: What is my original motivation of being in service? How does my own need to feel of value, and my ultimately my ego, stand in the way of more authentically doing my work?

Continue to do the deep, personal work of healing and transforming your own wounds, traumas, and dramas so that the lens that you see and heal through is no longer about you.

Continue to strengthen your own rooted sense of confidence and inherent worth so that you don’t need to find it through “helping” other people.

As painter, Georgia O’Keeffe, once said, “I have already settled it for myself so flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am quite free.” Because it is an extremely shaky way to live when your sense of self is entirely tied up in your perceived outcome of helping others.

We live in a very results-driven, outcome-oriented society. But the truth is that we have no control over how and what another person does with our help. Allow it to be an offering with no accolades attached. Every treatment, every session, every day teaching, or every kindness extended. That once it is given, it is gone, and it is no longer about us.

I once tried to explain this idea to a friend who was just starting off teaching meditation. She was having a hard time understanding how you could let go of the outcome of your work.

“Isn’t the entire point to provide value and service? Isn’t your ultimate goal to want to help” she asked?

“Well yes,” I said, “of course your intention is to help. But you don’t have any control over the outcome. So stop ruminating and obsessing over ‘giving people their money’s worth or providing results.’ ”

We had a laugh together a few weeks later when she confessed that while still resisting this idea, she had a session with a new client. During the session, she felt really inspired, like she was making a big impact on this woman, like she said all of the right things. When the session was finished the client felt great, but only because she had fallen asleep and not heard a single word my friend had said.

This story still plays out in my head occasionally when I catch my intentions shifting off course. And then I remember to reorient my work from a place of offering, a candle contained in a little floating basket, gently rocking and drifting out into the sea of life.

I wish this for you too. May you always believe in your unconditional value so that your insecurities or doubts never cloud your highest work. May you continue to feel your own humanness as you more fully connect with the humanness of others. May you enjoy many, long years meeting others with empathy, respect, and integrity.

About Kendra Ward

Kendra Ward is a writer/teacher/healer, braiding these roles like sweetgrass to wear as a crown on her head. She is currently finishing her first book, Mystic’s Revolution: Freedom in Feminine Confidence. She works as an acupuncturist and herbalist, in mossy Portland, OR. Learn more about Kendra at her website, or connect with her on Facebook or Instagram.

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