#like damn....... 13%.... what the fuck lmfao

[wewontbesleeping]

haven't really been online much at all in the last week bc of stupid school stuff (and will not be back on again for a while again because of school) but i'm allowing myself the weekend off (bad idea) to relax (very bad idea)

[frogmascquerade]

Doctor who spoilers in the tags ! Empire of death

[loganlostitall]

THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND

Rating: 18+ for sure

Word count: 1.7k

Characters: Negan Smith, adult gender neutral reader

Setting: Riverbend, season 11 episode 13

Content warnings: light spoilers!!! Be mindful of your own knowledge of the show. Oral sex (M receiving) and also references to oral sex (gn receiving), cum swallowing, spit/drool, slight mention of typical TWD violence, very brief speculation of Negan being dead ig?

Summary: you were in a relationship with Negan before he disappeared without a trace after Maggie took out the Reapers and found Alden. Just when you’re wondering if hope of finding him again is lost… there he is. And he’s very excited to see you.

Author’s note: I literally have no idea where this came from lmfao. I haven’t written in months and suddenly after listening to TDOPOM this little idea popped into my head and I couldn’t banish it so I sat down and slammed this out. Considering that there’s things I’ve had started since September, that’s a huge feat for me lmao. Anyways !!!

No beta, I’m gonna die with my errors like a man 🫡

NSFW under the cut

How long had it been, exactly? Whatever the amount of time, the true answer to such a question was too fucking long. Initially, when you left the Commonwealth a few days prior to venture further than your previous run in search of “resources” (also known as: your missing boyfriend; that you fully suspected everyone was too smart to believe you were looking for anything different, but continued lying to them anyway to avoid any emotional conflict) you hadn’t exactly… expected to actually find him. A piece of you had started to wonder if the time would come where you sunk a blade between a pair of vacant, milky eyes you’d despised and then adored.  

And so, you certainly were taken by surprise when one hand snatched your arm and the other covered your mouth just as it had fallen open to loose a scream. Catching the barest glimpse of familiar ink etched across the skin of your assailant’s arm, tears stung your eyes when you realized with nausea sinking low in your gut that you weren’t ready to take him out. Brain not even acknowledging the relieving factor that the fingers touching you were warm. 

In your searching for him, he found you. How poetic. 

Those same hands hadn’t left your body since. Like right now, one at the base of your skull; fingernails repetitively scratching your scalp, ever so slightly. 

“God fucking damn, I’ve missed this. I mean, I missed you too, of fuckin’ course I did, but this? Fucking incredible.” The slew of complimentary expletives were muttered through grit teeth, and between unsteady huffs of breath. A pinched groan followed immediately after the thick words. He was going to attract walkers; as flattering as it was, that was the first thought to come to mind and on instinct you retaliated what he had subjected you to not much earlier by slowly grazing your palm up the planes of his stomach, over his chest, and to his mouth... which only served to inspire another moan. 

His head bobbed side to side with some dazed form of a nod and he flashed a tired—but still as gorgeous as usual—smile when he pulled your hand away. “Okay, okay, I’ll shut the hell up,” he sighed, much quieter though clearly without lack of restraint. Pride resounded through you with every flex of his jaw.

The phantom sensation of your back being pinned flat against the tree where Negan’s is now was still very prominent, though the only evidence to show for it was the glisten of his lips and the smudges over the fabric of his jeans that clothed his knees. A dull throb resonated between your thighs when you lowered your eyes to admire the very proof of his head being nestled there not very long ago, and the hum when you smirked around his cock gave him no choice but to bite down on his fist and keep quiet. 

With that, you returned to the task at hand or, rather, at hand and mouth. Hollowing your cheeks, you sunk down until the head of his dick nudged against the back of your throat and did absolutely nothing to fight the gag that sounded as a result. A long time ago, in an entirely different life, things like that had bothered you. Everything about your performance needed to be perfect, until Negan. He liked when you struggled to accommodate him. Got off on it. 

The vein along the underside of his endowment jumped and you did not hesitate to flatten your tongue and press up against it, curl the tip, and drag from end to end of the hypersensitive stripe beneath Negan’s skin and revel in the shiver it drew from him. 

Scrunching his eyebrows together, he whispered, “Fuck,” and even such a short, succinct, single syllable word seemed to knock the breath out of him. His mouth thinned into a straight line, lips all but disappearing, and the back of his head made an unceremonious collision with the bark behind it. The grimace that found his face was short lived, because that was the moment you decided was perfect to bring a cupped palm and fingers to his scrotum. They drew up instantaneously upon being touched.

He was close already. Aw. He really did miss you. 

A heavy glob of saliva rolled out between his cock and your lips when they crowned over the glans, but you simply sucked in a gulping breath and followed it with your tongue rather than fearing the quality of your performance. Smearing your drool down the length of his shaft would surely ease the glide of your mouth for whatever little remainder of time there was here. You would tease him about this later, but given that Negan cumming fast was a rare occurrence, it would mainly be playful bragging. 

The practically hypnotic motion of his nails carding through the short hairs where your head met your neck ceased abruptly after deepthroating him once more, and you would have mourned the loss if not for the heavy lidded, glazed over, hazel brown eyes that truly appeared to be doing nothing less than memorizing the way every feature of your face looked when your lips were stretched around him. You pushed up on his balls and squeezed, just barely bordering outside of the threshold of pain for him, and the hissed ‘awfuck-’ was your only warning. 

Never would you have believed that you could miss the taste of a man’s cum, and yet here you were, realizing how fucking happy you were to be tasting him, swallowing everything down like some sort of elixir. Hardly an easy task around something in your mouth, and repeatedly ramming down your throat due to him holding you in place as his hips jerked, but you were more than enthusiastic despite it. All you could do was squeeze your thighs together, breathe through your nose, swallow, and allow yourself to be used for the first time in what had felt like the longest six months in your entire life. Suddenly you couldn’t remember a single sweet thing that had ever tasted better than Negan Smith.

Though logically you knew it wasn’t a very long affair, the limited intake of oxygen disoriented you enough that you couldn’t quite tell how much time passed before the grip on the back of your head relinquished and a now softening erection retracted from your mouth. You drank air into your lungs as if you’d been under water and dropped your hands, both of which had a tacky mixture of drool and precum connecting them to your lips and his skin, all while holding eye contact even though his own gaze was trained upon your swollen, sticky mouth. 

After a moment to collect himself and gather his bearings—both literally and figuratively because he tucked himself back inside of his boxers but didn’t pull up the zip, Negan offered out his hands for you to grab hold of and help you back onto your feet. There were matching patches of dirt on your knees. As you started to bend down to dust yours off, a finger hooked beneath your chin to raise your head once more. He wiped the light, streaky eyeliner you managed to score from Princess off of your cheeks; and afterwards brought the hem of his black t-shirt to your mouth that was no more than a mess of goop but that wicked tongue of his peeked out from between his teeth as he cleaned up the mess. 

“So goddamn hot, baby,” Negan rushed forward to steal a kiss, which you happily reciprocated and that same tongue followed shortly after. You could still taste yourself in his mouth. Certainly, his own flavor lingered behind as well. The groan that fled his mouth to dissolve into yours was answer enough. “Fuckin missed the taste of us. Swear my dick could get hard all over again just from this shit.” His hand dropped to your own jeans that you’d secured back over your hips after you came, just in case a situation arose and the both of you had to be able to run quickly. Bypassing the zipper, Negan slid his fingers past the waistband and dipped into your underwear to gather what remained of your excrement and his own saliva, raising it to his lips to lick his fingers clean. There had hardly been enough time to suppress a moan before his mouth found your neck and you rolled your head off to the side, giggling in the process, to allow further access. 

Unfortunately for the both of you, upon looking towards where you could only assume Negan had been taking shelter, your eyes fell to a sight that meant things would have to cease for now. 

“…Is that Gabriel?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, forgive me Father or however the fuck that goes.” 

His mouth had only ceased its assault on your throat long enough to mumble the words against your skin, sending a chill through you and raising goosebumps all over you that would have to go ignored. Much to your chagrin, Gabriel and Aaron were approaching the building that Negan’s new group resided within, and perhaps it was paranoia but a little skepticism went a long way since the dead started walking.

While half-assedly shoving his face away from yourself, you asked, “What are your new men like?”

“Not very nice,” he answered with a shrug; failing multiple attempts to dodge your hand until deciding he would settle for kissing your palm instead. Would have been endearing under any other circumstance. 

“Negan Smith!” 

“UuugghhhhUUUUUUHHH fine!” He blustered overdramatically, tossing his arms up over his head with a heaving sigh and roll of his eyes just before zipping his pants back up, and then yours after. You wiped your hands on his pants as he began walking. 

And, even despite the current circumstance, after all the time you’d spent missing him, you couldn't help but smirk at his grumblings about no amount of Hail Mary’s or Our Father’s being repentance enough for what he would do to them for giving him Blue Balls as he guided you around the building for safe entry. 

Like he hadn’t cum already. If you made it out of this, which you could never be sure of anymore, it seems like you were going to have a lot of sucking up to do. 

Literally. 

This one-shot was actually a massive challenge for me because I’ve always found it almost completely impossible to write something so short because I try to pour everything into my writing and drag it out.. which really makes me worry that this is horrible/boring 😭

Anyways, hope it’s not and people find it decent. I won’t be doing much x reader stuff because I have an OC and an entire story planned out for him when I find the time, but there will be a few ! :)

Idk who else to tag other than my loyal bffs @murdadixon @hopefulatrocity @lanadelnegan 🥰 besitos para mis bebés

[mysticpear]

running list of my favorite moments from Paris 2024

the rapper who now sponsors women's wapo

stephen from penn state and everyone being obsessed with pommel horse now

SIMONE BILESSSSSSSSS literally eating after tokyo and at age 27 (dont fact check me im not doing google searches)

jade carrey's grace after her quals on floor

womens gymnastics having qualifiers on every event in the top 3

womens gymnastics leading all teams by FIVE WHOLE POINTS and the 2nd/3rd difference being 2 TENTHS (aka 5.0 vs 0.2)

synchronized diving bros tm

the new womens gymnastics commentators who are focusing on the incredible skill of the athletes and their resilience and safety rather than a single flexed foot like in the past

aly raisman is there love

waiting for track events bc i just want to see hurdles and sha'carri richardson

womens rugby absolutely demolishing great britain

con't:

12. snoop memes 13. simone's response to reporters asking about hezly, simone's caption under the team gold win, simone's response to aly raisman asking what the team nickname is 14. stephen from penn state again for becoming an overnight national hero 15. the main woman on the rugby team (ilana?? not sure) whos fully an icon and a beast and knows it as she damn well should 16. my friends and coworkers tolerating my gymnastics infodumps

con't part 2:

17. SIMONE GETTING BLOCKED BY MYKAYLA LMFAO 18. continuation of stephen memes i love them keep it up 19. just saw that apparently martha stewart is joining snoop for equestrian events bc "he's afraid of horses" 20. ILONA MAHER MY ICON MY LOVE 21. tom daly's sweaters and children 22. simone biles' husband (no he will not have a name) sitting with her parents and keeping their scorecard. v wholesome 23. aly raisman asking the team what their name is and simone fully glitching on how to not say "fuck" at a press event

WAIT SAME DAY BUT I THOUGHT OF MORE

24. pregnant fencer winner, can u imagine growing up like "yeah i technically medaled at the olympics bc my mom had been growing me for SEVEN MONTHS already" that kid is gonna have incredible stories 25. simone and her biggest competitor Rebeca Andrade cheering each other on even tho they're both going to all around medals on different teams. they FUCKING GET IT that's girlhood 26. katie ledecky eating it up year after year

part three of the day:

27. the gymnast who's sponsored by cheese?? jealous 28. the swimmer whos obsessed with the muffins so true king chase your passions 29. i found my favorite meme, allow me to quote: "gay men thirsting over the lithe sun-kissed swimmers' bodies of Team Italia and lesbians thirsting over a woman in a backwards hat and severe bob doing shooting - this is what those people at Stonewall died for" with a gif of the pistol icon queen (do not know her name) (also this is obv dramatic, we know Stonewall is a deep and complex history, don't @ me) 30. a clip of synchronized divers from (i think) china and the commentators were talking about how they had to come up with a new term to describe their water entry and it was something along the lines of splash disappear magic or smth. crazy

I'm back and worse than ever 31. HAPPY SHA'CARRI RICHARDSON IS RUNNING DAY 32. Alice Bellandi, who i just found out about. LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GOOOOOOO 33. i just.. something about the olympics exposing how much progress there is to be made in the world. year after year. from women's rights to gay rights to trans rights to racism to sexism and on and on and on. some dumbos were like "yay international competition" and instead got lesbians celebrating their gold medals w their gfs and women sharing about how they had a therapy appt right before they competed. its kind of a beautiful testament to the validity and worldwide nature of these issues 34. simone sharing that she met w her therapist the morning of her all around gold win 35. once again SIMONE'S FAMILY AND THEIR SHIRTS IM CRYING 36. im kind of obsessed with seeing noticeable mistakes intermixed with perfection 37. PIN TRADING specifically the clip of ilona maher trading w simone

anotha one

38. Jade Carrey medaling on vault 39. Suni medaling on AA 40. stephen again. SLAY individual PH medalist!!!! one of my best friends texted me to make sure i'm also obsessed with him and i told her about my deepdive into his gf's NCAA career lol. PS stephen you should come visit ur alma mater because you genuinely seem like one of the coolest people ever and i wanna meet you. 41. shoutout to frederick richards (also men's usa gym) for tearing it up all the damn time. i think he posts a lot on social media and the men's all around gymnasts should be getting a whole bunch of hype 42. Sha'Carri Richardson. so beauty so grace. she didn't even look like she was trying for the last quarter of her 100m qual. 43. related: im obsessed with the purple track like hello???? iconic 44. video of the camera man for trampoline. just up down up down up down 45. honestly every new thing i find out about the shooting events (incl the post about america not medaling at all but phrased as a clear dig at our firearm policy) 46. how (and maybe this is just me) women are fully dominating the news cycle in terms of what i hear about the olympics. the only men i've heard about are stephen and the Dad energy guy shooting for turkey, everything else is THE GIRLS 47. katie ledecky holding so many consecutive spots on every event record list she's on

hello again

48. Snoop ACTUALLY with martha stewart and both of them in full esquestrine (??) fits 49. WOMEN HAVE WON THE V A S T MAJORITY OF USA INDIVIDUAL MEDALS YAAAAA 50. ilona maher still shes just. ugh. (as i write this i get a post w a pic of her and stephen captioned "asking a bisexual woman to explain her type" lmao) 51. KAYLIA (?) AKA ALGERIA'S FIRST GYMNASTICS MEDALIST 52. proposal 53. the mixed doubles couple in ?? badminton?? who broke up to focus on their sport then won together and got back together <3 love is real 57. not only the pregnant fencer but I also just saw about a pregnant shooter??? again these kids are gonna have top tier bragging rights. also women are sick as hell 58. maybe already said this but im not reading the last fifty seven entries to check so any of the women's gymnasts and their just proud af smiles when they hit an incredible stick. like the way they just stand there for a sec and slowly bring their arms down bc they previously accounted for an extra beat while landing. chefs kiss ugh 59. whoever the hell made stephen an american flag cape 60. omfg saw a post with a bunch of people talking about stephen and one of the connections was "so and so who is in the pommel horse specialist group chat" because a) that is a thing that exists??? im so delighted and b) what he was saying was that he usually logs on to see that stephen is playing some NERD ASS VIDEO GAME (i am not that direction of nerd so i dont remember which it was). obsessed 61. IMANE KHELIF. get angry yall. saw someone say "all it took was the other woman saying she had never taken a hit that hard. but girl ur in the hit people hard sport. at the most elite level." like ya. reading up on the "transvestigation" which is a term i just learned and genuinely needs to be cut tf out because the implication that ALL men will be and are biologically stronger than ALL women is absolute bs. 62. Noah Lyles: "America. I told you. I got this" so true king 63. the medal counter that added a ring category for the couple that got engaged lol very wholesome 64. jade carrey coming back to the olympics simply because she didn't perform up to her standards at Tokyo 65. omg the pic of simone touching up her lip liner SO iconic 66. oh the other name for the womens gymnastics team (other than fuck around and find out) being the golden girls because they're the oldest team to compete maybe ever? for usa 67. the owner of stephen's former (? current?) gym saying the phone has been ringing non stop with parents signing their sons up for classes 68. DID I ALREADY SAY LAURIE HERNANDEZ COMMENTATING + HER W ALY AGAIN??? 69. as the sixty ninth entry this feels appropriate. the paris pole vaulter who didn't win bc his dick caught the bar. 70. also sha'carri richardson's silver but also her in team USA and a ponytail... idk if i love or feel a Type of Way bc shes so known for her own style but also this feels super affirming that she's competing for team USA but not in a way thats something she needed, more like we needed. does this make sense

[dumplingsjinson]

Let me just uh, set some hard fucking boundaries with some of you people in regards to MY relationship.

Do not keep questioning my choices on MY relationship.

First of all, you're not in this relationship. Let me mess up and find out, if worse comes to worst. Let me fuck around and find out. I'm not going to blame you for not warning me, don't worry. Seriously. So stop questioning me.

Don't keep asking me, "Why don't you label things with him? I think it's bullshit that there are no labels. What's the POINT of this relationship if you're not labelled as such and such? You're just wasting your time. Stop that. It's weird. This doesn't seem right to me. Why call it exclusive if there's no labels?"

Let me fucking date how I want, damn. Let me be in a goddamn relationship how I want, without me needing to explain myself to you. You, who I don't even know. You, who's not even a mere acquaintance of mine. Even my friends aren't questioning me, so who are YOU to question me when you know virtually NOTHING about our relationship?

Why are YOU, as someone who doesn't know the full fucking picture, trying to enforce your rigid little rules onto ME? If you like labels and only commit strictly with someone once those labels are established, good for you! Do you!

But don't go on the internet, read the stuff someone shares (which doesn't paint the whole picture, mind you, because I'm not sharing my whole goddamn life biography on here) and then go running into their inbox and yell at them for their choices, or because their choices differs from yours. Don't do that because you don't KNOW them. Don't act like you know everything from the small details you've read. Yes, I share things on here, but only things I'm comfortable sharing. Surface level shit, basically.

What you think is normal isn't always someone else's normal. Please remember that.

The way some of you act in my inbox... It's embarrassing at best and disgustingly rude and kind of intrusive and also insulting at worst. And because you've got the anon feature on, you think you can just say anything. (That's a whole other rant I've been wanting to get off my chest. I've got a few drafts I've never posted that are from months ago lmfao).

Now, to tone down the aggressiveness for a fraction of as second, I get you care about me and it's probably coming from a good place, but I am TWENTY. THREE.

Let me remind you.

TWENTY THREE.

Not three.

Not thirteen.

TWENTY. FUCKING. THREE.

I can make my own decisions. I am a legal adult, probably moreso than some of you out here coming into my inbox and full on trying to start an interrogation with me like I did something wrong for wanting to do things MY way for MY relationship.

And SLIGHTING me for my choices is where I'm setting the hard boundary at.

DO NOT, and I repeat:

DO NOT...

...under any circumstances, come into my inbox and act like I'm a dumb fucking bitch. (I am a dumb fucking bitch, but I'm also a self aware dumb fucking bitch. There's a difference.)

I know what I'm doing, I know the consequences, I know what I'm in for. I'm not fucking stupid and naive. I'm not a 13 year old about to start her first relationship with her high school crush.

So stop treating me like a donkey, and stop questioning my choices. Remember, as harsh as this sounds, some of you need to hear this and REALISE this: You've got no place in my life to do that. Absolutely fucking none.

Learn to read the room and learn that there are lines that shouldn't be crossed.

OH, I need to add this here. Before some of you come into my inbox and ask me WHY I'm sharing shit if I'm not open to opinions on my choices... There's a difference between opinions and civil discussions, and crossing someone's boundaries and questioning their choices because you think YOUR way of doing things is the right way to do things.

Just because I share some stuff on here doesn't mean that warrants you an automatic pass to shit on my choices. Fuck that bullshit, because that's just shitty behaviour and you need to look inwards and realise you're doing a lot more harm than good by being a piece of shit to someone you essentially do not know.

Remember, if you won't say this shit to someone in real life while looking them in the eyes, then don't fucking say it on anon in some stranger's inbox. That's a dick move, and you're a prick if you do that. Fix yourself, for the sake of humanity.

That is all.

[pandalexoxo]

i can’t stop imaging myself being transported into tokyo revengers. though, personally, i believe it would be bitter sweet.

TOKYO REVENGERS X MALE READER

i’d love to imagine meeting takemichi, and confiding in him that i know about his power, that, i too, have a secret. i would tell him that i’m not even from this universe. he thinks time leaping 12 years is weird? try telling him you’re from another reality (basically) where he’s an anime.

to sum up my thoughts (i wrote 13 paragraphs before deleting it bc this is suppose to just be a ramble lmfao, maybe i’m uploading it later and get your guys inputs) i just feel like i would try to be the sunshine guard dog protector, y’know? not necessarily swoop in to save takemichi (tho, i’d definitely swoop in to beat some characters asses just bc i have a personal vendetta) because damn! look at how badass and hot takemichi is, whenever he fights?! (that ass. thiccimichi 😩😼)

now, here’s where my heart aches and my brain fries from overthinking. do i tell takemichi that i watched the anime (read the manga too) and know who will die in the end? do i tell him that i know of the anime but haven’t seen it or read the manga?

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR TOKYO REVENGERS ANIME AND MANGA!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

so, we know that in chapter 275 of the manga (probably season 5 in the anime if we’re lucky) takemichi ends up dying by mikey’s hand, a blade through his chest (heart? stomach? idk i haven’t read the manga in a few months. i sobbed hysterically over his death and refused to open the manga back up. that was until chapter 276 came out, how foolish of me to believe takemichi wouldn’t stand back up like he always does. what a true mc)

funny enough, by using mikey’s hand, he’s able to time travel him and mikey, not just 12 years, but back to when they were kids (i think they were 8 or somewhere around there). thus they are able to help each other create their perfect ending.

though… this “perfect ending” can’t happen unless the characters who died stay dead. shinichiro, baji, emma, izana, draken. with these deaths, mikey indulges in his “dark impulses” and thus the kanto manji gang and toman gen 2 end up fighting to lead to takemichi’s death and end with the perfect book closing page.

it’s unfortunate. it makes me tear up, sob, want to throw up (maybe throw myself out the window) but everything needs to happen. not only the deaths but takemichi’s mental health diminishing needs to happen to. this (others teaching him how to fight and his visions) helps takemichi in the last battle to dodge, punch and get close to mikey.

though, how easily takemichi forgives?! boy just smiles off his pain and forgives others, especially in the final chapter??? he just has his beautiful dopey smile on his face when mikey recognized him and then they ride off into the sunset to save their future??? hell. no. i need everyone to put their fists up, stand in a line, and eat my fucking fist.

i need a takemichi villain arc series. would someone be willing to make that for me? what do you want? a cookie? therapy? a hug? emotional and mental stability? no mommy and daddy issues? (i can’t provide the last two unfortunately, still trying to figure that shit out myself lmfaooo. though, my dms are always open. i love chatting with people and sharing dark humor. muah!)

then again, this is why i whole heartedly admire takemichi. he may not be physically strong like the others but as mikey says, he’s incredibly mentally strong. he gets back up. he stays standing. he’s determined and won’t fall until he wins. he’s too kind. i love him so much guys you don’t understandddd. hina, please share, fuck i am on my knees, foaming at the mouth and barking.

ugh :( it’s okay michi. you get your perfect future, though, are you truly happy and at peace? just keep smiling, okay? anywhooo, you know, i could treat you better anyway! xoxo 😼🕺😽

[blackbackedjackal]

What an unoriginal hag, holy shit. Isn't she well past her 30s? That is a little old to be acting like that, hello? Just changing her character to look like your is so petty what the fuck, lmfao?? That is 13 year old behaviour.

Dog is 40 something and Ependa (who drew it) is damn near 40. Ependa is one of the most insecure people ever when it comes to people "copying" her ocs (just ask @trashasaurusrex about snarly teeth) but it's ok if she does it to others ig :/

[autobot-ratchet]

MTMTE 12-13

MTMTE 12

still so cute that Tailgate's happy place is movie night

damn they really just cut right to the aftermath of the battle like “oh yeah btw Rewind's injured and Swerve got his face blown off. Just to let you know. Okay back to the present”

Drift is in his element, look at that smile, you go baby, slice those dudes up

gfdjks poor First Aid is so done with Chromedome's fussing, give the guy a break he's just worried about his husband

also yeah god this is the first time we get to say explicitly that they're married, isn't it? I remember being completely fucking floored by that the first time I read it, like “wait what do you mEAN THEY'RE ACTUALLY TOGETHER??? LIKE IN THE ROMANCE WAY?!?!?” like I had picked up on the queercoding vibes but then the comic was just like “yeah coding-schmoding, they're queer” and I simply could not believe that shit lmAO

also btw Cyclonus is injured too. Just fyi

I've made fun of Tailgate for embellishing his past accomplishments but damn does he do a good job of stringing Rewind along lmAO kid's a pretty good liar under enough pressure

I love how they show us that horrifying panel of Swerve's fucked up face without context and then later the context turns out to be “yeah he just accidentally shot himself in the face.” he looked down the fuckin barrel of the thing god lmAO

I love the concept of innermost energon so much. For a race that's constantly morphing and changing to give away the one part of themselves that always stays the same no matter what, the fuckin romance of it all

I love Tailgate trying to gas up Chromedome by constantly trash-talking Dominus just on principle alone lmAO “Oh that's Rewind's ex? Fuck that guy he's got nothing on you” “Tailgate he was an incredible person” “Incredibly cringe, maybe”

sorry I am now distracted by the idea of Tailgate using the word “cringe,” that wasn't nearly as much of a thing when this comic was coming out but he absolutely would, holy shit

ooohhhgdjhfs Drift recruiting Chromedome for The Overlord Thing while he's at his lowest and Rewind's incapacitated is so slimy, he really does have to do all the dirty work for this project huh

Cyclonus immediately goes back to help Tailgate clean up, he's making progress, we're getting thereeeeeeeee

I think this is the first time (of many) that Cyclonus looks at Chromedome and Rewind's relationship and is like “...........huh.” Like, he definitely uses them as a framework for his own relationship with Tailgate and wants what they have, even if he doesn't quite realize it at this point

Ah, right, I forgot that Whirl helps Rewind jump his spark out of guilt for nearly killing him alongside Cyclonus lmAO

And Cyclonus protected Rewind.... nnnnNNGFHSDFNgsdf *points at Cyclonus* HAHA YOU HAVE FEELINGS... YOU CARE........

MTMTE 13

I like the implication that this isn't the first time Drift has grabbed Swerve like a football

also love Cyclonus calling Drift too young, both of you are old as dicks

I will never be able to think about the bit where Swerve asks Drift to be his roommate and Drift is like “no thanks, in my off time I prefer to be alone in a state of heightened isolation exploring the limits of solitude” without thinking about that vine that's like “sorry dude I can't go do social event, I'm busy” and then it cuts to him in his room alone, drinking a can of beer with one hand and playing jock jams on a keyboard with the other, this one, this is the vine

I fucking forgot Swerve was still here, I thought they closed the door on him lmfAO they really just had that whole conversation with the door wide open

I'm still so sad we only got the good holomatter avatar generator after Ratchet had used his old one, not to mention everyone whose avatars we never saw. Every day I wonder what Drift's avatar would've looked like

Magnus shoving his way between Swerve and Tailgate, making Tailgate scoot three entire seats over

“I think the program is struggling with human gender- Do I look like a 'Mary Sue?'” ah-HAH *slaps knee*

Aww, I forgot Magnus's avatar is Verity, that's so sweet. I didn't know who Verity was the first time I read this, but now that I do it does hit different lmAO

fuckin rip Magnus. Fhdksjkl I just noticed Rewind recording in the background, you can see the light of his camera on his silhouette

“Why do I get the impression that you can't remember your worst enemy?” nnnnnnNNNNNGGHH

drunk Magnus is cute

“Where IS Chromedome?” “Oh, he's, erm... I'm sure he told me...” NNNNNNNGGHHFFGHGHFGH

“Savor this feeling, everyone. You never know what's around the corner.” yEAH, YOU GUYS SURE DONT...

Cyclonus teaching Tailgate to sing in old Cybertronian... Tailgate said earlier in the issue that Cyclonus was the only link to his past and that was defs on purpose so that this could be Cyclonus's moment of realizing that Tailgate is much the same for him

aww Swerve, buddy... I mean to be fair I would've done the same thing in Blurr's position, Swerve comes on a little strong, but oh man. Swerve's not a bad guy, he's just unbearably lonely but Blurr never could've known that

oh right this is the first little written blurb we get hell yeah

Rung quietly marveling at the miracle of Cybertronian physiology like. That's YOU!!! That's more you than you could ever know!!!!! He doesn't even know that he's the originator of all that!!!!!!!!

it is still so funny that Rung regained the ability to move by getting so sick of Swerve's shit that he subconsciously mustered the power to move his arm so he could shush him

mmmmphphgndfm one of the only things Rung remembers during his recovery period was the smile Skids gave him when he corrected the mispronunciation of his name... SKIDS IS REAL SWEET........

gfdjk the gang watching Cyclonus browse a gift shop like they're ethologists and Cyclonus is a species of animal they've never seen before

godjdfska Magnus trying to make a joke and failing harder than anyone ever could is still so funny.. HE'S TRYING OKAY........ Also, absolutely hysterical joke to be telling to Rung specifically

God Rodimus is such an ass lmAO “What is wrong with people” he asks the therapist, genuinely. Simply solve mental illness, why don't you

ooh, get him, Rung, stick to your guns, attaboy

God. Watching Rodimus lie through his teeth about investigating the voice Rung and Red Alert heard... I mean, it was never going to work out, bringing Overlord onto the ship, it was a doomed endeavor from the start, but seeing all these moments of Drift and Rodimus trying to keep it under wraps is just so bitter lmAO They did their best, their awful, awful best

[onecantsimply]

Head empty. Just here to ask Mistress reader spoiling Jack. Out and in bed.

Also WHY IS YOUR DAMN FRIEND'S BURNED CHICKEN HAUNTED MY DREAMS-

LMFAO MY FRIEND'S CHICKEN HAS THAT NIGHTMARE-ISH EFFECT-

Warnings: NSFW ahead- 

-

Please, you have managed to give Jack every treat possible. New clothes, new sweets, new tea sets, and sometimes money if you didn’t need it. But there is accounting for the affection you will always spoil Jack with. 

Holding his hand? He’ll hold on to it for as long as possible. Any time you let go, he can’t help but feel a bit cold and cling to your hand the next time he knows it’s available. 

Hugging him? Awfully warm and he can’t get enough of it. Most likely when you hug him is in private. Mostly in cuddle sessions in which Jack would sometimes love to be the little spoon in. He likes feeling every bit of warmth you hold, so having you cling to him is going to make him fold sooner or later. 

Kisses will always be given between you and him in private. While you particularly kiss him on the cheek or his lips, he may as well aim for any part of you- He thinks of you as perfection, so even kissing your hand is like kissing you directly. Oh, and if he ever does get that direct kiss, he may freeze up for a few seconds so start dragging him around if he doesn’t move by then. 

It is now confirmed that Jack is your bbg. Your Sugar Baby because you got the methods. You got the cheat codes, and the shit. 

You spoil him with the money you got from putting someone in chapter 13 bankruptcy. Don’t worry about how you get paid. You take DEBIT, CREDIT, CHECK, APPLE PAY, EBT, PAYPAL, ALL THAT. YOU EVEN OFFER A PAYMENT PLAN IF SOMEONE’S THAT DEEP IN THE TRENCHES. You probably just robbed this American and got 10mil in Cold, hard, CASH BRO. 

Jack found out you do that. A lot. And that’s how you buy him the most expensive of shit in the best of quality. While he is proud of it, he is also kind of scared of how you keep doing this- But still, Jack can’t have normal people in his life- Mans got a mistress with the METHODS. 

He’s just glad to see that he can make the best of tea- 

Mans saw you gambling once. 

“I’m actually putting my bread on the line, and you’re out here tryna kick the bucket. Put some respect on my name, hoe.”

You left with Jack following after, knowing damn well that some frustration was going to be taken out on him in bed- 

NSFW AHEAD

Alright. As a mistress, you got the best opportunities to spoil Jack. Whether it be kissing his body all over and giving him the smallest of touches that make him lean into your touch with a faintly needy moan. Due to how you two have experience with this kind of thing... you know damn well of where Jack’s sweet spots are, so you abuse them. A lot. 

He believes he doesn’t deserve you in bed. Think you can overstimulate him just by touching him? Yeah. You can- You did it more than once- Just a little bit of edging and whispering your intents towards him. Trail some butterfly kisses down his chest and you’ll have this man calling you mommy. 

Blowjobs and fondling his balls may as well have him fold. Jack will lose every single time. It’s even easier to overstimulate him when you know the weak points in his dick. 

Let’s not forget any toys here. He is spoiled in those types of toys as well. Sometimes he has to use some of them when you aren’t available. They’re not as effective as getting a handjob, blowjob, or fuck session from you in general, but he knows damn well that this is what he has to deal with. 

Toys and your touch is impossible to edge him. He’s already excited enough that you’re watching a toy harden him up for you, so the fact that he might receive a blowjob or handjob right after always has him ready to cum at the slightest of touches you give. 

Depending on how hard you go right off the bat, Jack might be calling you mommy, or he’ll be trying to remember to call you mistress. It makes it even worse to get praised for how he’s being because of how much you’re already milking him. 

If you want to take it slow, Jack is completely fine with it- To be completely put in your hold is what he’s been adjusted to for the entire time you’ve been his mistress. Within thirty minutes, he’s trying to hold back a release while you’re watching him from above, crushing his balls under you. 

To get spoiled with the bliss of your touch, as well as the praise and looks you give him always has him going feral one way or another. He knows damn well he can’t win against you like this, especially with the edition of toys, as well as his kinks. 

He always loses. Lmao-

[mondaymelon]

i asked your age because you flirt with your adult mutuals, and you engage in nsfw content ??? obviously there's a reason someones asking you that fucking question n then ur dumbass mutuals r "u don't owe anyone anything" neither do u owe anyone the pleasure of flirting w them??? yikes ! and then you're going to make it seem like someone asked you for a face reveal or something... like be so serious rn... its not me being a bitch, its me being fed up w the way ur acting like ur actions arent observed by everyone. u don't specify your age, whatever but the overreaction to that was insane LMFAO....

please read my byf. i have stated that i am a sarcastic person and that to assume that i am joking. i only "flirt" with mutuals who i know understand that i am not actually flirting with them. i do not bear romantic feelings towards any of my mutuals. i have also told them that if this joking makes them feel uncomfortable they can tell me and i will stop.

as for engaging in nsfw content: as far as i can remember the closest thing I've done w nsfw was say something along the lines of foul legacy's dick was not 13 feet?? did i write smut in my sleep or something and post it on here???? like damn what

hey anon what the hell does this have to do with my mutuals ? don't call them dumbasses. if its hate directed towards me then damn let it me hate directed towards me.

i understand that i overreacted. i pointed that out. if you are upset with the way i act, you are free to leave. no one is stopping you. i am not forcing you to suffer through me "flirting with mutuals" and "engaging with nsfw". overreaction or not, i did not feel comfortable with the question presented. to me, it was random, bore no context to the current state of my account, and i have been told repeatedly not to share personal information online. i consider personal to apply to my age.

[bunnywan]

oh i love violence so: 1, 7, 10, 13, 14, 21, 24 🥰

from this ask game

you’re such an enabler <3

1. the character everyone gets wrong

y’all are doing padme way too many favors … i feel like i’ve only read fic where she made sense.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how the fandom acts about them?

LMFAO i do hate anakin for a lot of canon reasons but god damn if my disdain for him was not fueled further by the weird ass way people take away his most interesting qualities so he’s just some brat.

10. worst part of fanon

idk if it’s the absolute worst but lately i’ve been annoyed at the changing of anakin and obi-wans body types. they’re both grown ass men. hayden christensen did not gain 25 pounds and work out for 6 hours a day for y’all to make him teeny.

13. worst blorbofication

again, anakin. some people just be inventing a whole new man and saying it’s anakin.

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

every author is allowed ONE “inappropriate use of the force” line. no more ! i’m tired !!!

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

qui-gon in his entirety.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

if you’re still talking about how someone taking it up the ass is “out of character”, you’re a fucking loser.

[tchaikovskaya]

this is very tangential so i will just put it in a separate unrebloggable post here lmao but

one thing (which is coming up Bigly wrt this Issue) that has continued to bother me is something ive noticed about an uncomfortable number of people's lack of emotional intelligence (? idk how else to say it but i feel thats not quite it) specifically their apparent refusal to take peoples intentions into account when theyre analyzing interpersonal conflicts.

like okay to give an example thats not related to IPV. (and yeah i know this subreddit is a far cry from an outstanding example of healthy human emotion and social mentality etc etc etc lmao but bear with me)

there was this one post on the AITA subreddit not too long ago that was basically like "i want a child free wedding. teenagers are okay. all of my niblings are 13+ except for my sister's baby who is a baby, like <18mo. all my niblings are thus invited except my sister's baby. my sister is refusing to come to my wedding if she cant bring her kid. my entire side of the family is in a tizzy about it. i wont budge. AITA for getting mad at my sister for turning this into a huge thing?"

and the replies were all like "yes you're the asshole, an invitation isnt a summons sweatie [one of their fave lines lmao] ;)))) uwu you invited her but she doesnt HAVE to come!" like okay yeah thats fine and dandy if she doesnt want to come lmfao but the issue is that the sister is clearly not UNWILLING to go to the wedding, she very much WANTS to go to the wedding but insists on bringing her baby, and her entire family is coming down hard on the bride ON THE SISTERS BEHALF for not making this exception, its not just that shes declining to come its that shes using her whole fukcing family as leverage to pressure the bride into making this allowance!!!! shes not ACTUALLY refusing to come, she has every intention of eventually coming once the bride inevitably caves bc of course she will. Shes fucking clearly being petulant because she's depending on the bride folding and the bride wont, and thats why everyone is upset! at the bride and not at the sister for being stubborn as a mule and making the whole thing about her and her damn baby instead of letting it go and accepting that shes gonna be staying at home !!!!

idk if this even makes any sense at this point lmao its 3am but just like. the insistence that everything happens in a vacuum and we all act according to free will and there are never any external social pressures on us influencing what we are and are not willing to tolerate when dealing with other people. its all just so fucking frustrating idk lmao !!!!

[stevethehairington]

13

23

24

28

I already know the answer to 1……it’s me >:)))))))

hehehehe hiiiii liam 😘😘 ty for thisssss, these are all greattttt ones!!!

13. Least favorite storyline?

hah. HAH. do i even need to answer this i think you already know 😂 please, see our dms OR see my answer to number 5 here lmfaO

23. Character you use to like but now hate?

oh man, haha. WELL. i mean, when we first started i did actually like abby. she wasn't a favorite or anything, but i liked her! now though. HAAAH. fuck that bitch!! with the prickliest fuckin cactus you can find!! hate her hate her hate her she is the wORST!!!

24. Character you use to hate but now like?

EASY. taylor kelly <3 i was big fucking mad at her for what she did to bobby in dosed, and that fucking souuuured me to her soooo bad. SOOO bad. and like i genuinely could not wrap my head around how buck could even look at her again after that. like. that's his DAD. and like. listen. im still mad at her for that, that was a HORRIBLE thing to do. but. by the time she showed up again later i was still mad at her and i tried to continue hating her lmao but she did, in fact, grow on me. and i did, in fact, fall in love with her. UNTIL THEY FUCKING ASSASSINATED HER. i simply do not see what they did to her after the breakup. the taylor kelly that lives in my brain did NOT write a fuck ass book and was NOT villainized and is livin her best bi life, kissing her hot firefighter gf lucy. <3

28. Favorite voice over?

NO FUCKING BRAINER HERE: TSUNAMI ARC VOICEOVER BELOVED!!!!!!!!! its just. SO FUCKING GOOD. "to be seen... to be found... isn't that what we're all searching for?" LINE OF ALL TIME!!!!! E S P E C I A L L Y GIVEN THAT IT PLAYS OVER THE MATCHING SCENE OF ALL TIME THAT IS THE EDDIE LOVE CONFESSION 1.0 OF "THERE IS NOBODY IN THIS WORLD THAT I TRUST MORE WITH MY SON THAN YOU" - WHICH OH BY THE WAY HAPPENS RIGHT AFTER GOD DAMN FUCKING PHOTOGRAPH PLAYS??? THE SONG THAT SAYS "WAIT FOR ME TO COME HOME". FOLLOWED IMMEDIATLEY BY EDDIE AND CHRISTOPHER SHOWING UP AT BUCKS DOOR. I FEEL INSANE JUST TYPING THAT UP. YOU REALLY CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP THIS SHOW IS INSANE. BUT YEAH. VOICE OVER OF ALLLLLL TIME.

wee woo show asks

[13leaguestories]

Hi i just have to tell you that Dragon racer was my second ever IF after The Wayhaven Chronicles, it was one of the books that solidified my love for IF, way back when i was like....13-ish? i think? I loveeeeeed it soooo much Anyways, I couldn't really get into your other stuff because it was 18's so I didn't really follow along with what you were doing for a few years. Now I am officially an adult and I've started reading superstition and AHHHHH I love it!! I love it I love it I love it!!!!!! I started romancing chris, little surprised to hear people don't like him but also a little not (I love him, but he most certainly has some flaws, but also it just makes him seem like a rounded character), either way, my charachter and him are perfect together. Then you introduced Rahim and i was like FUCK now I have to play Chris as fast as I can to romance Rahim now. Also I LOVE Amari, she is so relatable to me as somone with ADHD, and someone that tries to stay positive, though she is definitely a few steps up from me in that regard. Anyways, I've kind of been reminiscing about the first IFs I ever got into recently because I've been utterly obsessed with them through my teen years and now I've graduated and am "legally" an adult and it's just crazy the stuff that got me through school. Anyways you are an amazing writer, and I'm really happy that you've stuck with it these years and built so much in the time I've been away. Congrats to you!

Oh shit, bless your eyes for having to read that book. I'm kidding, it's like ... I was going to say first child but damn that's harsh. It's more like when you go back and read your first work from elementary school and it's just kind of "damn, I wrote that." But growth, you know lmfao.

But hey! Thank you for sticking with me that long, that's fucking wild like damn. REALLY!? And welcome to this crazy ... adulting world. It's a mess, really.

Cheers, friend.

[mothmage]

20 Qs for fic writers

Tagged by @monstersinthecosmos , thank you!!!

1. How many works do you have on A03? 31 (and a few anon, i think 2 or 3. idk, when i post a fic on anon i forget about it forever)

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 446,135

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently/primarily vc, iwtv (amc), star wars, and merlin (bbc)!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? A Lovely Little Normal Life (which, honestly, kind of annoys me lol. i know it's just bc it's a huge fandom, but really? the stupid little 12k harry potter fic i wrote in two days is my most kudos? please...); Arthur Pendragon, Long May She Reign (forever pushing my lesbian genderswap agenda); The Face of God (les mis slightly canon divergent javert character study); The Odyssey of Recollection (amc iwtv s1 pov armand); Away From Stranger Tides (potc philip/syrena fic i started ages ago and never finished, lol)

5. Do you respond to comments? yes i love talking to people in comments!!!! i've made a lot of friends through comments!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? omg. umm. merthur fans don't know this yet bc i havent finished posting but it's arthur pendragon long may she reign (BUT it's part of a series, so it's literally fine). idk, i dont tend to write long fics that end angsty. but my angstiest fic in general is probably Hollow-Boned Boy (armand contemplating his human life in the early CoD era) or Vision of the Damned (daniel's turning from armand's pov)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i love a happy ending!! my series Odysseus in White Silk is probably the happiest ending, and in such an undeserved way hahaha it's so very AU because i was sad after s1 of the show and just wanted them all (and armandaniel) to live happily ever after

8. Do you get hate on fics? i dont think i ever have, but i tend to read comments in good faith too, so maybe someone out there is annoyed that i interpreted their vague dislike comment as a genuine comment or something, idk. in general though, i'll say no

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes but i dont post that often, idk if there's a particular kind, but generally it tends to be a little rougher than is probably appropriate without discussion in real-life situations, but also very...idk my friend described it as very tender, like theyre very clearly in love. which is so funny considering that that kind of tenderness irl gives me fucking hives lmfao

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? oh wow, not in a long time. i do have a wip sitting around rn that's a crossover between london spy and cloud atlas, which is really crazy until you remember that ben whishaw is in both london spy and the cloud atlas movie lol. and cloud atlas is already about weird reincarnations and parallel worlds and stuff, so it isnt too out-there.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? i dont think so!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes!! The Face of God was translated into Korean by ao3 user Crescent919 !! i've had a few comments on other fics asking to translate for personal use (always yes, of course), but no one else has asked to share a translation publicly

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no!! i've been thinking about it lately though

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? all-time? probably merlin/arthur from merlin (bbc). it's the whole fate-destiny-choice thing, it just compels me like nothing else

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? hmmm, i would like to finish Roswell -- well, kinda (agent carter farm girl / alien crash landing au) because i still have all the original notes and outlines and stuff. i also made a shitty conlang when i was first writing it, which is crazy lol. but it would need some pretty serious revisions, and i would definitely rewrite the first few chapters that i posted years ago. i just kind of lost the agent carter bug, but i might return to that fic if i ever get in the mood for it again.

16. What are your writing strengths? ooh, i'm not really sure! i get a lot of comments mentioning characters' voices and/or personalities, so i would say maybe that!!! i also feel that i'm fairly good at mimicking an author's writing style when i want to (notably, i do not mimic anne rice when writing vc fic, lol)

17. What are your writing weaknesses? editing for sure. i have at least a hundred fics sitting on my hard drive fully or almost-fully written that i just need to edit. but i would simply rather die than do all of that. it's also why my whole merlin fic got put on pause while i went down the vc rabbithole, because i just can't bring myself to go edit the next chapters lol

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? hmm, i think it's usually unnecessary and comes off as a bit silly. that said, i did do it once (maybe excessively) in Daniel Molloy, Time Bandit (1984 daniel ends up in 1794 theatre des vampires, it's more of a character study than a time travel fic) BUT, let me defend myself -- i did it because daniel doesnt understand french, it's his pov, and he's incredibly confused and distraught for most of the fic. i felt like the dialogue being in french conveyed this sort of "daniel does not belong in this time/place" vibes. but, also, my french is...a little rough. so i'm sure it's an annoying fic for french readers lmao

19. First fandom you wrote for? warriors cats, a million years ago hahahah

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? ok, i have three different answers for this. the fic i think is the best, objectively, in terms of writing and content: The Story of Dani [...] (r63 devil's minion from armand's pov, starting with lestat's house). the fic i am the proudest of, mostly because it was my first "big" fic (it's funny now, bc it's only 41k) and i feel like i grew a lot as a writer while working on it, and i'm still happy with it: The Face of God (les mis pov javert, character study from childhood). the fic i have the most fun with and think about almost 24/7: Arthur Pendragon, Long May She Reign (r63 merthur, canon divergence, this is like a 4-part series that's currently over 300k lmao)

no-pressure tagging: @aunteat @leslutdepointedulac @butchybats @graygiantess and anyone else who wants to!!

[mykneeshurt]

Haunted part 12

Well. This was a doozy to write. Have I done this? Yes. Lmfao. I was not stable for a long time. Could this chapter be considered therapy?

Warnings - smut, nsfw, I don’t wanna give too much away

Part 13

You stepped back trying to make sense of what the fuck just happened. You felt breathless, trying to steady your breathing you held on to the the wall to steady yourself. You desperately tried to find words but none came. Seeing you so unsteady Soap reached out and held your arm, his face a furious shade of red. ‘Doc .. I … I’m sorry.’ He flustered, tripping over his words.

You knew he’d never hurt you and you knew damn well he’d never force you to do anything. Seeing him so embarrassed you placed your hand over his, slowly your breath returned. ‘Johnny … what was that?’ He turned on his heel and damn near sprinted out of the bathroom. You fixed your hair. Again. You took a deep breath and left the bathroom, Soap had gone. ‘What was all that about?’ Gaz asked looking confused. You quickly conjured up the best lie you could think of ‘you know what he’s like, drank more than he could handle. Knocked me out the way to get to the toilet and … ‘ you motioned a vomiting action.

Price let out a deep chuckle ‘serves him right the wanker. Always doin this. Another one kid?’ Feeling your own bile rise into your throat you shook your head. ‘No, I think I’ll head back, I’m so tired’ you said letting out a fake yawn for effect. As you walked past Ghost you squeezed his side gently, he didn’t respond.

Walking back to the hotel you replayed the kiss over and over again. His lips were so soft, the kiss was gentle almost loving, the way his hand cradled the base of your skull. Absent mindedly you traced your thumb over your bottom lip, sending a wave of pleasure through you.

What the fuck were you doing?

Shaking it off you approached the hotel and entered, making your way to your room. You had to speak to him, otherwise it would be a problem. Removing your hoodie you straightened out your t-shirt before heading for the mini bar. You settled on the overpriced vodka and coke, after pouring it you let the liquid slide down your throat. The welcoming buzz settling into your head.

Hearing a knock at the door you placed the glass down and went to the peep hole. There stood Ghost, looking ever menacing. Opening the door you put on your fakest smile ‘hey.’ He regarded you for a second before entering. ‘So why did he leave?’ He asked bluntly, not even looking at you. ‘What do you mean?’ Butterflies rose in your stomach.

‘Why did he leave? I know damn well he didn’t vomit.’

Nearly vomiting yourself you clenched your fists, the pain from your nails digging into your skin kept you grounded. Sweat started to gather on your brow, suddenly you felt hot. ‘He kissed me.’ Ghost remained stoic, not even a flinch. You rushed closer to him and grabbed his wrist, something familiar. ‘I didn’t kiss him back, I didn’t know it was him. He pushed me inside and kissed me’ you begged, not even sure what you were begging for. You felt him tense underneath your grip ‘you kiss him back?’

‘No! No I didn’t, I pushed him off me and he freaked out. That’s why he left.’ He let out a dissatisfied grunt. ‘You don’t get to be angry at him Simon. He doesn’t know about us … and well … I don’t even know what we are.’

He snatched his wrist from your grip, looking over at you, you could see the hurt in his eyes. His beautiful, expressive chocolate eyes. ‘We’re nothing.’

Feeling like you’d been punched in the chest you swallowed, hard. Trying to force down the tears that were threatening to fall. ‘You don’t mean that Simon. You don’t.’

Silence.

‘Simon you can’t be angry at me for something I didn’t do? He doesn’t know what’s going on between us. And there is something there. I know you feel it. I know you’ve let me in.’ Your pleading fell on deaf ears. You tried to cup his face, to speak to Simon, but you were met with Ghost. His protector. His walls were back up, thicker than ever. He stood and made his way to the door, trying again you followed him, tears now free falling down your face. ‘Don’t go, please. I know you feel hurt, but this wasn’t intentional. I know you have feelings for me, I know you do. I like you too Simon, you’re all I think about.’

He let out a deep sigh, ‘you were just a fuck, a mistake.’

With that he left your room, feeling frozen in place you grasped at your chest. Your heart felt like it had been shattered into tiny shards. Each one stabbing you further, ripples of anguish spread through your veins.

Finally feeling able to move you sat on your bed and started at the wall. His words replaying, over and over and over. A mistake. The ache of rejection radiated throughout your body. You tried you rationalise it, he’s hurt, it would feel like a betrayal to anyone. He’ll come round, surely? But his words stung, ‘just a fuck’, the mere memory caused fresh, heavy tears to fall.

You weren’t sure how long you were sat on the bed, the white wall was soon replaced by a door. Knocking on the door it soon opened. ‘Johnny?’ Your voice was quiet, defeated. ‘Fuckin hell hen. What’s wrong?’ He ushered you into his room and sat with you on the bed. Panic soon spread over his face, did he do this to you? Before he could speak you beat him to it, ‘no no it’s not you Johnny. It’s me, I’m so stupid.’ You let out a heavy sigh, he knew better than to ask what was really wrong. He knew you’d never tell him.

‘You’re not stupid hen. You’re the best medic I’ve ever been on missions with. You’re caring. Funny. Amazing at your job, you’re ��� beautiful.’ You snorted, your cheeks wet from tears. ‘ Oh Johnny. You’re so delusional.’ Moving his hand to cup your face he turned you to look at him. ‘I’ve never been more sane in my life.’ His eyes darted from yours to your lips, his thumb caressed your check, wiping away a stray tear. ‘I don’t know what’s happened, and you don’t have to tell me. But I’m here. With you now.’

His breath tickled your face, his aftershave penetrated your senses. Sweet, floral. The exact opposite to Simon, who was musky and earth like. Your eyes met his for the first time since being in his room. You could feel the familiar feeling of needing validation creeping over you. Ghost had hurt you with what he said, your self worth now entirely pinned on this very interaction with Soap.

You knew it was wrong. You knew this could really be the end of you and Ghost.

But you really didn’t care.

Flicking your eyes to his lips you gave in and placed you hand on his cheek, pulling him in. Your lips met, the kiss was soft, alluring and loving. Just like before. He moved his hand to the back of your head and gripped the back of your neck. His other hand found its way to your waist and led there, his thumb caressing small circles on your exposed skin. You took the lead deepening the kiss, swiping your tongue against his bottom lip he slowly opened his mouth. His tongue meeting yours as they weaved in and out of each other. Moving your hand to the back of his head your nails grazed his scalp before crawling at his Mohawk. He smiled into your lips, a low groan rattled in his chest.

Pushing him onto his back you threw your leg over, straddling him. His moved his hand from your hips to your waist, teasing a portion of skin. Feeling how hard he was becoming you started to grind your hips, your hair fell in front of your face as you moved. ‘Take it off Johnny’ you half whispered, half ordered. Obliging you he sat up and slowly slid his hands up your torso removing your t-shirt. He was faced with your breasts in your black bra, accentuating your cleavage. Pushing him back down you kissed him once more, still grinding over his hard cock. ‘Fuck’ he moaned, trying his best to stay quiet.

You worked his t-shirt off, his toned body facing you once again. You peppered kisses on his neck, working you way down to his stomach. Undoing his trousers you both worked them down, his white Calvin Klein boxers now visible. He placed his hand under your chin to face him ‘are you sure you want this?’ Ever the gentleman.

‘Yes Johnny.’ You smiled up at him through your lashes. Kissing him over his boxers he tensed and whimpered, he’d been wanting this for far too long. He couldn’t quite believe it was happening.

Pulling his boxers down just enough his cock sprang from beneath the cotton. The tip red, a prominent vein snaked its way down the shaft. You licked from the base to the top, agonisingly slow. He clenched the bed sheets as his hips bucked up towards your mouth. Taking him into your mouth you took him are far as you could before gagging, flashing your eyes towards his you could see he was staring. Laboured breaths crept from mouth, savouring the image of you devouring his cock. Bobbing your head up and down you relished the taste of him, the salty taste of pre-cum slid down your throat as it mixed with your saliva.

He sat up and caressed your cheek, he was so gentle. Releasing his cock with a satisfying pop he stood, placing you where he’d just laid. Undoing your buttons you shimmied out of your jeans and underwear, he trailed his eyes down your body. It was beautiful to him. He lingered over your stretch marks, your imperfections were perfect to him. As he leant down to kiss your thighs you rolled your hips ‘just fuck me Johnny. Please.’

How could he say no to your sultry voice, begging him to take you. He discarded his jeans and slid a thigh between yours, kissing from your groin to your neck, delicate kisses. Kissing you once more he could taste himself on your lips, ‘you’re sure now?’ Laughing you nodded before initiating another kiss. He lined himself up, your slit already dripping for him. ‘Fuck me you’re soakin’ … ‘ he groaned into your ear. As he slid his cock in the stretch took you by surprise. You pulled him closer to you and drawled his name under your breath. He started off slow, giving you chance to get used to him. When he felt you relax he built up his pace, leaning on his forearms which he placed by the side of your head.

He never broke eye contact. His perfect blue eyes stared into yours, everything he’d ever wanted to say amalgamated in this very moment. You were everything he’d ever wanted. You cupped his jaw and ran your thumb over his bottom lip, he kissed it gently before guiding your hand down to your clit. Taking his direction you began rubbing your fingers over the firm bundle of nerves. It didn’t take long before you could feel yourself clenching over him. ‘Atta girl, I can feel you. Come for me darlin’.’

Arching your back you maintained eye contact with him, the spring finally about to snap. He placed kisses along your collar bone as you came around him, the spring well and truly breaking. ‘Fuck you feel so good Johnny, don’t stop.’ Leaning back he lifted your legs over his broad shoulders, allowing him to go deeper. Waves of breathy praise left his lips as he thrusted into you. The wet sound of your cunt filled the room, spurring him on further. He picked up his pace just enough to bring him to his own orgasm. His cum filled you, leaving you feeling satisfied. Smirking to yourself to beckoned him with your finger to kiss you again.

He bent down and kissed your plump lips, nipping you gently. Everything about this man was gentle. The way he touched your skin, kissed you, even the way he fucked you. He was passionate. Biting your lip as he pulled away you giggled. ‘What’s so funny hen?’ He smirked.

‘Nothing, just not how I envisioned the night going is all.’

‘You and me both. I’m sorry for kissin yah like I did earlier. Must have freaked you right out.’

‘It did. But I’m glad it happened. I had no idea you thought about me like this.’

‘You crazy? You not gotten all the hints I’ve dropped on you for the last 2 years?’ Smiling you shook your head.

He grabbed some toilet paper from the bathroom and helped to clean you up. Handing you back your clothes you got dressed feeling him watching you. ‘I’d stay but the last thing I want is someone seeing me leave in the morning.’ He nodded, fully understanding. ‘See you in the morning Johnny.’ You said placing a kiss on his cheek before leaving.

On entering your room you ran to your bag and pulled out a pack of menthol cigarettes. Always kept them in there incase of an emergency, this being one of those times. Standing out on your balcony the cool Autumn night swirled around you. Lighting the cigarette you took a long inhale, the nicotine filled your lungs. In the corner of your eye you saw movement, looking to the right of you, you saw Ghost. Sat on his balcony having a cigarette of his own, watching you. The orange glow lit up his balaclava, the white teeth of the skull even more prominent in the dark.

You let out a sigh, what had you just done? All because you felt like shit. You’d fucked it. Stamping out the cigarette you turned to Ghost as you entered your room, ‘those are bad for you, you know.’

————-

A/N - I genuinely had someone call me a mistake after we’d been seeing each other. That shit HURT. 10 years later and I’m still not over it. Can you tell 🥲