#like damn i guess she really is our mom and really raised us or something jeez

[shmreduplication]

my mom: *literally meets my dad and bonds with him due to the fact that he's the only person she knows besides herself with a home computer in the late '80s* my mom: *gently pressures all her kids into going into computers* me: *is biologist* my data analysis software at work:*requires me to learn code* my data collection process: *requires me to learn code even tho it's just fucking google sheets* my primary piece of equipment at work: *has extremely limited use functions UNLESS you input code directly*

[indecenthoney]

Five more minutes...

----------------------------------------------

Don't you fucking hate it when someone wakes you up on your day off? The one time. One time you get to finally sleep in and throw all the worries of the world into the trash. Just for someone to ruin it. I mean I understand having to wake up because of an emergency or a meeting. But to be woken up, so I don't sleep the day away? Bullshit. It's the fucking summer. Can't I get-

"Five more minutes... Pleassssse... Ugh... I know... I know it's way past afternoon... I intended on sleeping in, on purpose... Listen... I've been working my ass off at college and my crappy ass job for monthsss... Now that I'm finally back home... I think I deserve a little more shut-eye... Now... Get out of my room... or you're going to regret it..."

After some deliberation, I finally decided to head home during the summer. It definitely beats working my life away and going straight back into classes. I couldn't fathom taking another year of torture. Not to mention, I would finally be able to eat some home-cooked meals, catch up with friends, and possibly hit up a few bars. If I'm lucky, I might even be able to hook up with someone during my stay. Although, I forgot to factor in one teeny tiny detail. The sole reason I ever left in the first place. The demon that resided in my neighborhood now pestering me over a couple minutes in bed. That demon, or well childhood friend of mine had always topped me in every single thing I had ever done. At some point, you can get sick of always being compared to. Now that I'm back in town, she has nothing better to do than to dote on me. Constantly breathing down my neck over every single thing that I do. I'm starting to think she gets some kind of sick kick from parading me around like some sort of dog.

"Ughhhhh... Shut upppppppp... Don't you have anything better to do? It's been years... Get a boyfriend or something... Like... what're you hanging around here for? My mom asked you to... What? Dude... Okay, listen... We're adults now... You don't have to listen to every request they make... My mom only keeps you around hoping we finally get along again... Year after year she has tried to get us to reconnect... And we both know it's not going to happen... No... There are no buts in this situation... Just let it go... You don't have to kiss my parent's ass just to prove you're better than me... They know that... I know that... and you know that... You always joined all the clubs I was in to prove a point... I gain literally nothing from being with you... You're better than me... I get it... Happy? Now leave... Good night..."

Looking back at it, I was ashamed to act so out of character. I guess it really got to me after seeing her face after so long. The breaking point was when she had the audacity to try and pull the blankets off of me. Blinded by anger, I pulled and wrestled her onto my bed. The both of us flailing around without a word. After some time, I was able to completely pin her down. Her shirt disheveled and raised high enough to see her breasts. The blankets draped over us like a fort we had once made as kids. Our exhausted breaths heating the enclosed space around us. My morning wood placed atop her short shorts twitching eagerly along her.

"Well... I'll let you go as soon as you stop flipping out... Yeah yeah... You're still as annoying as ever... Huh? Excuse me... I'm the one that should be pissed... Bothering me so early in the damn morning... What are you freaking about now? What? It's just morning wood... It happens... Fucking perv... Yeah, you... Why're you staring so much...? Hahahah... You think this is because of you? You give yourself too much credit... You could never turn me on... Then again... It's been quite a while since I had any action... And hole is a hole... Right? Aw... Don't wanna? But you promised to take care of me... No? And what're you gonna do about it? Push me off with those frail arms? Sure you can beat me in everything else but at the end of the day... I'm still bigger than you..."

The tip of my cock pitched a tent so effortlessly. Every whimper or sign of resistance urged me to tease her even further. And in turn, the silence grew louder knowing she had no other choice but to take it. It was supposed to be a little scare. Or so I thought. But seeing that she was finally put in her place brought out a different side of me. To top it all off, the overwhelming sensation brought upon the back of my head grinding against her needy cunt was just insatiable. Poking my tip against her opening only for pieces of cloth to divide me from theoretical heaven. It drove me crazy. Even if it was her. Even if she did annoy the living fuck out of me, I couldn't quite help myself. I would be lying if I didn't find her the least bit attractive.

"Hey now... Hush... Any louder and they'll hear us... What would my family think if they found you moaning like an absolute slut? Aww... And what're you gonna do about it? Tell? Thanks to you... I honestly have nothing to lose... They already see me as a failure... What's one more fuck up? Stop? Why? Is Little Miss Perfect getting wet? No? Then why don't we take these off? And have ourselves a little look... Not wet? Really? You promise? Then you have nothing to hide, do you? Well... A little too late for that... I'm not going to take the word of a liar... You heard me... Lying to my face... Right right... Sooooo this wet spot on your shorts is all my imagination, huh? Really? Then what's this? Hahaha... You're absolutely soaked... Fuck..."

Upon exposing her dirty little secret, she sought solace in the palms of her hands. Retreating as much as she could from my line of sight. Her bare cunt leaking and in full view, awaiting the endless ridicule that was to befall her. But to her surprise, there was no bullying. No jab. Nor sly compliment. Nothing. She peeked through spread fingers, only to find my lips pressed against hers. Soft kisses woven and sealed. Each one more welcoming than the last. And in time, her advances were all her own. Clinging so desperately to that addictive rhythm. Kiss. Lick. Suck. Mindlessly waltzing between each before falling victim to her own bliss. To her realization, I had long stopped my approach; watching her enjoy herself. She soon crumbled under her embarrassment.

"Having fun, are we? Hahahah... Hey hey... C'mon there's nothing to be embarrassed about... What's with the hostility? It's just a few kisses... Whatttt? I'm not saying anything... Me? A tease? Never.... Get off? Wowwwww... So rude... After all that eager kissing? You really are heartless... And here I thought we were finally hitting it off... Hahahah... C'mon bestie... What's five more minutes? Hm? Hahahah... God... It was just five minutes... You couldn't give me five... fucking... minutes.... Now look at you... Hahahah... Pathetic... You did this to yourself, hun... Now I'm gonna have you take responsibility for it..."

My body lined along hers; her sight fixed on the drip and drop of my my own saliva coating my member. A quick concoction of spit and juices. With pressed thighs, my cock fit so perfectly betwixt her. A constant, yet steady motion of thrusts, leading me to leak pre-cum in the process. And still, her eyes fixated on the comings and goings of my cock eagerly fucking her thighs. Her face tainted with shades of red. Hastening my rhythm. There sudden bursts of moans took place as the tip snagged along her clit. All due to the animalistic type of fucking that was prone to error. To thrust and fuck without remorse only to catch and chase that orgasm I so desperately needed.

"Look at us finally getting along... Who would've thought it'd take fucking your thighs for us to stop bickering? What's with the look? Shouldn't you be happy? You can finally be of some use... With thighs this soft, I might get addicted to using you... Mmph... Fuck... I'm so close... Hey... I want you to clean it up... You heard me... Open your mouth and let me shoot it in... We can't go downstairs with you covered in cum, can we? Unless that's what you're into... Hahahah... No? Fine fine... I guess I'll just stick it in... Save us the mess, right? You don't want that either? Well, you better make up your mind cause I'm close... Mm... Oh? Atta girl... Stick that tongue out... F-fuck... Mmph... Look at me... Yeah, I want you to fucking look at me... There we go... You ready? Yeah? Ughh... Fuck..."

A trail of cum ran down her tongue and through the valley of her breasts. Hesitant fingers glided down licking up each and every drop of me. An unknown side that came so naturally to this prim and proper girl. Despite her reserved demeanor, she would flawlessly complete such a degrading task. In awe, I wanted more of her. To see more of her. Yet we were suddenly interrupted by the thundering footsteps that seemed to be heading to my room. I quickly put on the clothes I had on the night before. Instructing her to stay hidden under the covers until the coast was clear.

"Just follow my lead, alright? Oh! Hey mom... We were just about to head down... I know I know... But we were talking and... we decided to start over again... I thought it was really sweet for her to get me in the morning... so I invited her to hang out with me during the summer... It's actually a good thing she was here cause I can't get outta bed even with an alarm... Right? Isn't she the sweetest? So responsible... So yeah... She's going to drop by every morning and wake me up... Mhm! Alright alright Mom... No need to get emotional... We're good now... Oh! Her? She was just feeling a little dizzy... I'm making her rest for a few before we head down... Yeah, I'll take care of her... Mhm mhm... Yeah... Okay! See you in few minutes... Hahahah... That was close... C'mon, get yourself cleaned up... I don't know about you but... I'm looking forward to tomorrow morning..."

And won't you look at that, this is starting to look like a very promising summer.

---------------------------------------------------------

With much love,

Honey

[fiyaa-xoxo]

Its cold outside, but when i'm in your arms the icy cold just melts away~

Ace trappola

✧˚ · .Winter season is upon the land of Twisted wonderland.The freezing weather causing people to bundle up into their warmest attire. But with the winter season you know what else is there? Why Winter break of course! Many students are in their dorm rooms excitedly packing to go back home and enjoy the holidays with their loved ones. All but one student is.....

✧˚ · . "Arn't you gonna start packing yet Ace?" Deuce asked.

✧˚ · ."Nah, i'm staying at school, the family isn't home so i guess just stay at school. Plus if i did stay with my family their gonna nag me none stop. Its a pain in the ass man"

✧˚ · ."Well alright, i personally am excited to see my mom again" "I know, mama's boy~" Ace teased "Am Not!" yelled Deuce" by that time Ace already left their dorm room chuckling while walking to the mirror to lead him back to campus. As he entered then excited the mirror a cold breeze hit him as he shivered. "Jeez this weather is worst than last year" he thought. He walked around campus weirded out by how quiet it is. At this point most of the students are already in the mirror room leaving campus, or others are still packing in their dorms. Regardless of that it felt a bit weird... but also calming. Ace watched as the snowflakes fell and covered everything like a blanket. But something caught his eye, or maybe... someone.

✧˚ · .Ace walked up behind a tree to watch as two people er- one person and one cat play in the snow. "Hey y/n if your going to force me here i'm going to freeze my tail off!!!" Ace chuckled behind the tree as he watched. "Oh grim don't be such a prick, yeah its cold but at least its not burning hot right" y/n said with a smile.

✧˚ · .Ace couldn't help but smile as he watched y/n play in the snow with an annoyed grim. But he wanted to make his presence finally known so he did something a normal person would do. START A SNOWBALL FIGHT!! "Hey y/n look here!" y/n didn't even have enough time to turn to the voice when a cold ball of snow hit her face "Hey!! Ace u brat!" Ace couldn't hold back his smirk but it was soon wiped off when a snow ball hit his forehead "Hey! I wasn't ready!" "Neither was i!" as u could guess this lead the two have a snow ball fight while grim was standing a good 7 feet away so he dosent get hit. The snow ball lasted for a while but finally ended when y/n called quits "Hey hey stop i retreat!!" y/n said laughing. Ace put down the snow ball he was about to throw laughing as well. ✧˚ · ."Damn i didnt know you were good at throwing and aiming y/nwith that skill u could be good at basketball you know~"

✧˚ · ." Thanks but no thanks i've already have to deal with taking care of ramshackle and grim i don't want another thing added to my plate"

✧˚ · .y/n looked up and notice the snow getting stronger "jeez the snow is really coming down huh. I think it best to back to our dorms, grim already beat me to it" She said looking at where grim once stood when they were having a snow ball flight. "Oh uh.. Do u mind if i crash at your place? Im the only one left in the dorm and it feels weird not gonna lie" ace said as he scratched the back of his neck "not at all" y/n said smiling at ace. Ace had a faint blush on his cheek but quickly hid it as they walked to Ramshackle. They both entered the dorm and took off their shoes and coats. "You head to the living room the fire place is on, i'll get us some hot cocoa" Ace followed y/n's orders and plopped himself on the couch which was decorated with festive pillows and blankets.

✧˚ · .Y/n soon entered the room with a tray of hot cocoa and placed it on the coffee table and sat down covering their legs with a cozy blanket. "Jeez even with the fire on and the hot cocoa its still freezing cold" y/n said "you know... i have a way of warming up" y/n raised a brow and looked at him. Ace then wrapped an arm around y/n's waist and the other pulling y/n closer to his chest as he rested his head on top of y/n's. Both of them were blushing, but y/n soon recovered from being flustered and buried her head in his chest as she adjusted the blanket so both of them were covered well.

And just like that, the chilly frosty air wasn't so cold anymore~

Requests are open!! ^^

───────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆────────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──

[ducktoo]

Syncing Dream [Aespa x M!Reader]

15. Maknae Down

Note: the anon person who requested this scene, show urself cuz this is for u👍

Masterlist here

(Damn she is ded)

It started with a loud, echoing sneeze—a sharp, drawn-out sound that filled the entire dorm and was immediately followed by a groan of frustration. Y/n looked up from his spot on the couch, where he had been lazily scrolling through his phone, and saw Ningning curled up under a massive blanket on the other side of the room. Her hair was messy, and her eyes were red from what he could only assume was a cold.

Guess the cold decided to transfer from Y/n to Ningning today.

“Ning,” he called out, watching as she struggled to get comfortable in her blanket cocoon. “You good?”

“No,” she sniffled dramatically. “I think I’m dying.”

He raised an eyebrow, getting up to walk over to her. “Dying? Really? From a cold?”

Ningning glared up at him, her face flushed from fever, her nose runny, and tissues piled up next to her. “Yes, really! You wouldn’t understand. It feels like my entire body is shutting down.”

Y/n rolled his eyes, half-amused as he pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders. “Let me guess—you left the window open last night?”

Ningning’s eyes widened in surprise. “How’d you know?”

“Girl, you always do that when it’s too hot,” Y/n sighed. “But Ning, it’s winter. Having the window open while the fan’s on full blast? Genius.”

Ningning groaned, burying her face in the blanket. “It was fine until I fell asleep, and then when I woke up… well, I felt like this. I swear the weather’s out to get me.”

“Well, congratulations,” Y/n chuckled, mocking her with a single clap. “You’ve officially caught a cold.”

“Wow, thank you, Jung Y/n-psssssss” Ningning blew her nose.

“I know you love me too much, tryna copy me when I was sick last time”

Before Ningning could retort, Karina, Winter, and Giselle entered the living room, dressed and ready for their schedules. Karina took one look at Ningning’s disheveled state and sighed. “You’re staying in today, aren’t you?”

Ningning nodded miserably. “Yeah… you guys go on without me, unnie.”

Giselle, clearly annoyed, huffed, “Great, we’ll be the ones running around while you sit here like a burrito all day.”

“You make that sound like a bad thing,” Ningning shot back, trying to maintain her usual sass, but her voice was too nasally to come off intimidating.

Winter leaned down, placing a hand on Ningning’s forehead. “You do feel warm. Stay put and rest, okay? Don’t make our idiot's life more difficult than it already is.”

Y/n snorted. “Don’t worry, I’ve got this covered. You guys go handle idol life. Minji-noona is downstairs.”

Karina glanced between the two of them, clearly unconvinced. “Alright, but if she gets any worse, call us. And make sure she doesn’t convince you to do anything ridiculous.”

“I make no promises, mom” Y/n joked, giving them a half-hearted salute as they waved goodbye and headed out the door.

Once the apartment was quiet again, Y/n turned to Ningning, who was now staring at the TV screen in front of them. He grabbed the remote and lazily flipped through the channels. “So, what now? Want to binge-watch some K-dramas or something?”

Ningning perked up slightly at the suggestion, her eyes lighting up for the first time since this morning. “Yes! You haven’t watched ‘True Beauty’, right?”

Y/n groaned. “Oh, c’mon. Isn’t that one of those sappy romance dramas? I thought you were more into action stuff.”

Ningning pouted, crossing her arms. “I AM into action stuff, but ‘True Beauty’ is ICONIC, okay? Besides, you need to catch up on your K-drama knowledge, oppa.”

“Can’t we watch something else? Like “Space Sweeper” or something?”

“No!” Ningning shouted, the sickness momentarily left her. “I’m sick today, so I rule!”

With a dramatic sigh, Y/n flipped to the streaming service and put on the first episode. “Fine, but I’m only doing this because you’re sick. You owe me.”

“Deal,” she mumbled, snuggling deeper into the blanket. “But I’m warning you, you’ll get addicted. Don’t say I didn’t tell you.”

As the first episode played, Ningning provided commentary for every dramatic moment. Y/n, despite his earlier protests, found himself getting a little too invested in the story. By the third episode, he was sitting up straight, eyes glued to the screen, reacting alongside Ningning to every twist and turn.

“See? I told you it’s good!” Ningning giggled, nudging him with her elbow. “You’re hooked, aren’t you?”

“Okay, fine,” Y/n admitted, his face scrunched up. “It’s better than I expected. But seriously, how do they make every scene so intense?”

“That’s K-drama magic,” Ningning replied, sniffling again as she wiped her nose. After a beat, her voice softened. “It’s kind of nice… watching these with someone.”

Y/n glanced at her, sensing the sudden shift in her mood. “Yeah, it’s fun. We don’t get much downtime to just hang out like this.”

Ningning hummed in agreement, staring at the screen with a distant look. “I miss it sometimes, you know? Just being at home, watching shows with my mom. I’ve been away for so long… sometimes it hits me harder than I think it will.”

Y/n’s chest tightened at her words. He’d always known that the idols dealt with homesickness, but hearing it so plainly from Ningning made it feel more real. He hesitated for a moment before placing a hand on her head, ruffling her hair gently.

“I get it,” he said quietly. “While I can't say that I'm the same as you, I can say that you got your second family here, right? Your unnie-dul, me… maybe?"

"Of course you are in there!" Ningning groaned, her usual annoyed yet adorable tone began to recover.

"Aight, aight…but we got your back, Ning-ah."

Ningning smiled, her eyes glassy but grateful. “Yeah, you guys make it a lot easier. Especially when you let me make you binge-watch K-dramas.”

“That's Y/n's package for you,” Y/n chuckled, trying to lighten the mood again. “I’m just here for moral support and terrible TV commentary.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, the soft glow of the TV flickering across their faces. Eventually, Ningning shifted, resting her head on Y/n’s shoulder.

“You’re not as bad as I thought you’d be,” she murmured sleepily.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Y/n replied with a small grin. "You're more fun to hang out than I thought."

Just as Ningning started to drift off, the front door opened, and the other members trudged back into the dorm, looking tired but relieved to be home. They paused when they saw Ningning and Y/n on the couch, Ningning now fully passed out, her head still resting against his shoulder.

“Looks like the patient’s finally knocked out,” Winter whispered with a smirk.

Y/n gave a thumbs up. “Mission cleared. Though I’m not sure who’s more tired—me or her.”

Karina grinned, walking over and gently draping an extra blanket over Ningning. “Thanks for looking after her. I knew we could count on you.”

“No problem,” Y/n said, feeling the weight of the day finally catch up to him. “Let’s hope she’s better tomorrow.”

As they quietly gathered around, the dorm filled with the familiar warmth of friendship. Even though Ningning had caught a cold, it felt like one of those rare moments where everything was just… okay.

-

A few days had passed since Ningning's cold turned the dorm into a temporary clinic. She was back to her usual self—energetic, mischievous, and constantly teasing the other members. Y/n was glad to see her better, though he missed the quiet moments they had shared while binge-watching ‘True Beauty’.

It was a Saturday morning when Ningning barged into Y/n's room, her signature grin plastered across her face. She clapped her hands together excitedly, bouncing on her toes. “Y/n-oppa! Get up, get dressed! We’re going out!”

Y/n, still half-asleep and wrapped in his blanket like a burrito, blinked up at her in confusion. “Huh? Where are we going?”

“Just get ready!” she said, pulling the blanket off him with a mischievous tug. “It’s a surprise. You did a lot for me when I was sick, so I’m treating you today!”

Y/n groaned, rubbing his eyes. “Ning, it’s too early for surprises. Can’t we just chill?”

“Nope!” she insisted, practically dragging him out of bed. “You’ll thank me later. Now hurry up or I’ll pick out your outfit for you.”

That was enough to get Y/n moving. The last time Ningning had chosen his clothes, he ended up in a neon green jacket and pants combo that made him look like a human highlighter. He wasn’t going to let that happen again.

“Are you paying for everything?”

“That’s right, I’m your sugar mommy for today, oppa!”

Y/n facepalmed. “Ning, please never repeat that again.”

-

As they left the dorm, Ningning pulled out her phone and snapped a quick selfie of them both, sending it straight to the group chat.

Ningning:

Taking Y/n out for a day of fun! Wish us luck, ladies 😉.

Within seconds, the responses started flooding in.

Winter:

Oh boy, this ought to be good. Don’t kill him, Ning!

Giselle:

I’m keeping track of this. Take lots of photos.

Karina:

Stay out of trouble, you two.

Ningning giggled, stuffing her phone back into her pocket. “Let the adventure begin!”

-

A little over an hour later, they were out the door and wandering through one of the city’s many bustling shopping districts. Ningning was in full tour guide mode, pointing out random shops, food stalls, and people as they walked.

“First stop,” she declared with a grin, “the arcade!”

Y/n raised an eyebrow, glancing around at the neon lights and the sound of beeping machines. “You dragged me out of bed for video games?”

“Yup,” Ningning said proudly. “Consider it payback for watching ‘True Beauty’ with me while I was half-dead. Besides, I know you secretly love this stuff.”

She quickly pulled out her phone again, snapping a picture of Y/n standing in front of the arcade and sending it to the group chat.

Ningning:

First stop: arcade. Y/n thinks he’s gonna beat me at these games. He’s so cute when he’s wrong.

Y/n peeked over her shoulder, groaning. “You’re sending updates to the others?”

“Of course!” Ningning laughed. “How else are they going to keep track of your inevitable losses?”

"Oh don't test me, Yizhuo." Y/n rolled up his sleeves.

With those words, the two of them spent hours bouncing from game to game. Ningning was surprisingly skilled at racing games, and Y/n couldn't stop himself from getting competitive during skee-ball.

At one point, Ningning managed to win a stuffed animal from a claw machine, rubbing it in Y/n's face with exaggerated pride.

“Beginner’s luck,” Y/n muttered, trying (and failing) to win his own prize.

“Sure, sure,” Ningning teased, snapping a photo of him concentrating hard on the claw machine. She sent it to the group chat with the caption:

Ningning:

Y/n’s face when he loses... again.

Winter:

LOL, poor idiot. How many tries is that now?

Karina:

He’s got that determined look... Go easy on him, Ning.

-

After a few more games and much teasing, they decided to take a break at a nearby café inside the arcade. Ningning pulled out her phone once more, sending a final picture of Y/n with a pile of stuffed animals they had won (mostly Ningning’s doing).

Ningning:

Look at our haul! Aren’t we the best team ever?

Winter:

Nice! But you sure it wasn’t all your work, Ning?

Karina:

I see a lot of plushies there. Are you guys going to share?

Y/n shook his head, laughing as he sipped his drink. “You really enjoy teasing me, don’t you?”

Ningning smiled sweetly. “Only because you’re so easy to tease.”

“…all I know is that Jeong will annoy me like you do right now when we get home.”

Ningning grinned slyly. “Oh, speaking of Minjeong-unnie…”

Y/n shot her a wary look. “What about that crybaby?”

“Well,” Ningning said, her voice dripping with mischief, “she’s been acting a bit... different lately, don’t you think?”

Y/n furrowed his brows, trying to play it off casually. “What do you mean by ‘different’?”

Ningning stopped at a snack stall, buying them both some skewered tteokbokki, and turned to Y/n with a teasing grin. “Oh, come on! You know what I’m talking about. Ever since we teased her about setting you up on a date, she’s been a little... defensive.”

Y/n nearly choked on his tteokbokki. “Defensive? No way. She's just—”

Ningning interrupted, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Face it, Y/n-oppa. She got jealous.”

“Jealous?” Y/n scoffed, though the thought made his stomach flip in a way he wasn’t ready to admit. “That girl is not the jealous type. She’s just... stupid.”

“Sure, sure,” Ningning said, clearly enjoying his reaction. “Keep telling yourself that. But the way she’s been acting lately? I think someone might have a little crush on our dear manager.”

Y/n rolled his eyes, trying to shake off the teasing. “Aish, you’re binging too much K-drama now.”

“Am I though?” Ningning smirked, taking another bite of her snack. “Because if you ask me, she’s got a soft spot for you. You should’ve seen her face the other day when you went to the gym without her.”

Y/n felt a heat rising to his cheeks that had nothing to do with the spicy tteokbokki. “That’s because we’re all friends. We hang out. It’s normal.”

“Mhmm,” Ningning hummed in that infuriatingly knowing way of hers. “Whatever you say. Let's go back and beat you again."

"Tsk. I'll win everything on this second set. Ms. Yizhuo." Y/n flared up.

-

After the massive win from Ningning, the youngest dragged Y/n to a few more places—a dessert café where they shared a massive bowl of patbingsu, a photo booth where they took ridiculous selfies, and even a random bookstore where Ningning insisted on picking out a K-drama guidebook as a joke.

Y/n had to admit, it was fun. It felt like a proper break from the usual hectic schedules and responsibilities. Although the constant update to their group chat felt like a child updating his mom about his whereabouts.

As the afternoon wore on, they finally made their way to the park, where Ningning collapsed onto a bench, fanning herself dramatically. “I think we’ve officially walked the entire city. How are you not tired?”

Y/n chuckled, leaning back on the bench beside her. “I was tired when you dragged me out of bed this morning. Now I’m just used to it.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, watching as the sun dipped lower in the sky. Y/n glanced over at Ningning, who was unusually quiet.

“You okay?” he asked, noticing the thoughtful expression on her face.

Ningning nodded slowly, but her usual brightness had dimmed. “Yeah, just... I guess I’m feeling a little homesick again. It comes and goes, you know?”

Y/n felt a pang of sympathy. He knew how hard it was for the girls (especially Ningning and Giselle) to be away from their families, especially with their demanding schedules. “I get it. It’s tough. But we're here for you.”

Ningning smiled softly, her eyes a little misty. “Yeah, I know. You guys are the best. But sometimes I miss the little things—like my mom’s cooking or just lounging around at home, not having to worry about schedules and performances.”

Y/n nodded. “I think everyone misses home sometimes. It doesn’t go away, but I guess that’s what makes coming back to it even better when you do.”

“…it’s weird that you do make sense from time to time.”

“I am not that big of an idiot.” Y/n nudged. “But if you miss your mom’s cooking, ask her the recipe of any dish and I’ll try to learn it.”

“Really?” Ningning’s hope went off the roof. “Is that ok?”

“Mhm” Y/n patted her head. “I am your manager, at least, and I’ll be your brother, at most.”

Ningning leaned her head on Y/n’s shoulder, her voice small. “Thanks, Y/n-oppa. For everything. Today was fun.”

He smiled, resting his head against hers. "…this will DEFINITELY be on Dispatch tomorrow."

"Aish, shush it. I'm tired, oppa" Ningning accepted that she will never escape from Y/n's annoying retort.

Y/n chuckled. “Anytime, Ning. You deserve it.”

They stayed like that for a while, just enjoying the quiet moment as the city buzzed around them. Eventually, Ningning perked up again, a mischievous glint back in her eyes.

“Oh, and by the way,” she said with a smirk, “don’t think I’ve forgotten about Mindoogie. You know she’s going to be extra nosy when we get back, right?”

Y/n groaned. “Can we not?”

“Nope,” Ningning giggled, standing up and stretching. “It’s too much fun watching you squirm.”

As they made their way back to the dorm, Y/n couldn't help but wonder if Ningning had a point about Winter. The thought lingered in his mind, but for now, he was just happy that Ningning was back to her usual self. And if teasing him about Winter made her day a little better, then he could live with that—for now.

[bwabys-scenarios]

Fixer Upper

Part 3

Perv!Kurapika x Fem!Reader

part 2

part 4

taglist: @fabitheraven @tsukilover11 @ashdownunderscorebeloved @lemonslut @homeinmydreams @superweeniehutjrsblog @bugmomwrites @heartsforseo @lixiawinter

if you’d like to be ADDED to the taglist, please comment a red heart ❤️, make sure you’re able to be tagged/mentioned, and have your age in your bio(IF YOU ARE ALREADY ON THE TAGLIST, YOU DON’T NEED TO ASK TO BE ADDED AGAIN!!)

warnings: mentions of vomit, slightly suggestive

Kurapika woke up the sound of someone knocking on his door.

“It’s me.”

(Name)’s head peeked through the crack, the smell of dinner wafting through.

“I assume you woke me up to say dinner is ready?”

“How did you know?”

He couldn’t help but smile. “Lucky guess.”

The other three were already sat at the table. Tonight, they were having a baked hen, (Name) placing a few side dishes onto the table as Kurapika sat down.

“Go ahead and start eating, I’m going to grab drinks.”

Gon jumped up. “I’ll help!”

The two walked into the kitchen.

“Did you sleep well? (Name) wouldn’t let us wake you up.”

Leorio offered him a smile as the tall man filled his plate with food. He didn’t get to eat good, home cooked meals often, relying on fast food and TV dinners in between classes.

Kurapika nodded. “Yes, I did. I feel much better now.”

“Good. Does that mean you’ll be joining our sleepover tomorrow?”

He blonde sighed. “Do I have a choice?”

“Not really.” Killua replied through a mouthful of mashed potatoes.

‘Sleepover… I don’t think I’ve ever attended one.’

Kurapika stared at his empty plate before beginning to fill it.

“Is lemonade alright with everyone?”

Gon and (Name) we’re back at the dinner table, carrying a pitcher of lemonade and cups.

“Yeah, I don’t think anyone’s going to complain about (Name)’s homemade lemonade.”

Killua grabbed a cup from Gon and held it out to (Name), who filled it.

She filled everyone’s cups before sitting down and making her plate.

“It’s been so long since we’ve all been together. We should go do something tomorrow, before our sleepover.”

Gon nodded, his face covered in food. “Oh yeah, maybe we can go to the carnival! It’s in town for the next few days.”

“That’s a great idea! Guys, what do you think?”

Leorio shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

Killua was just as excited as Gon, and Kurapika…

“I guess that would be fine.”

(Name) giggled, clapping her hands together. “It’s settled then. Tomorrow, we’ll go grocery shopping in the morning, and go to the carnival after lunch.”

———————

The five loaded into the car to go grocery shopping. Unfortunately for (Name), she hadn’t gotten up fast enough to avoid taking everyone with her.

“Killua, Gon, repeat it one more time.”

“No touching anything but the shopping cart.”

She sighed. “Good. And?”

“No fighting the employees.”

“Finish it.”

“… even if they’re rude to you.”

“Alright. Let’s get going then.”

The drive to the grocery store was short, the two boys playing I-spy to pass the time.

“(Name), did you get the text I sent?”

“Yes. I’m not buying wine, nice try though Leorio.”

“Damn. Foiled again.”

The five exited the mom van, Kurapika going around the back to open (Name)’s door for her, but he paused.

The bumper was covered in stickers, ranging from Sanrio themed stickers to cursed images. It was easy to see who had placed which stickers.

“Kurapika? Oh, the stickers.”

(Name) had appeared by his side while he’d been looking over the back of her car. Kurapika’s eyes paused on a family if stick man that decorated her back window.

“What’s that?”

“Oh, that’s a representation of us. The girl is me, the little ones are Killua and Gon, and the big kid is Leorio. Though he’s more of the weird uncle, we just couldn’t find one that looked like him.”

He nodded. “I see.”

He felt a bit if disappointment that his own image wasn’t there.

‘But why would it be? I’ve barely been around.’

He diverted his attention to another sticker, raising an eyebrow.

“Baby on board? What baby?”

“Killua of course.”

“I put it on myself.”

The white haired boy looked strangely proud, patting it. Gon pointed to a sticker of an alligator. “I picked this one.”

“We know Gon.”

“It’s my favorite.”

“It’s a great sticker.”

Kurapika couldn’t help but laugh.

They all followed behind (Name) as she entered the store.

‘They look like little ducklings.’ Kurapika thought, unaware that he looked like one too.

“You can grab a buggy, Killua. Gon…”

The two made eye contact, not a single word exchanged.

The two boys followed behind quietly.

‘Telepathic communication? Is that what just happened?’

Kurapika watched the boys with a carful eye. With the way (Name) had talked in the car, he knew they had to have done something in order to earn her distrust.

“Alright, let’s start with snacks. Leorio, Kurapika, grab whatever you usually snack on and watch the boys. I’m going to grab Killua and Gon’s juice boxes.”

She waved as she walked off.

“So…”

The boys turned to look at Kurapika.

“What the hell did you do to not be allowed to touch anything?”

The two shared a look.

“They’ve gotten (Name) and themselves banned from every other grocery store in town.”

“Leorio!”

Kurapika snickered. “Seriously? What did you do to get banned so many times?”

Gon kicked the ground, looking embarrassed. “… made all the shelves fall like dominoes.”

“I bit an employee hitting on (Name).”

‘I’ll have to buy him some chocolate robots for that later.’ Kurapika thought. ‘Wait, why do I care if someone hits on her?’

“They were also caught trying to break into an employees only room.”

“We just wanted to see what it looked like!”

“Maybe you did, Gon, but I wanted to steal their uniforms and see how long it took them to realize I didn’t work here.”

Leorio shook his head. “This is why they aren’t allowed to touch anything. Honestly the fact that she allowed you two to come at all is shocking.”

——————

(Name) returned with a few packs of juice, dropping them into the grocery cart.

“Is it the-“

“Yes it’s the orange juice kind.”

The two grinned, following behind her.

“Kurapika?”

“Hmm?”

“What would you like for dinner? Gon got to pick what we had last night, it’s your turn.”

The blonde took a while to answer. ‘If I tell her anything is okay, she won’t take that as an answer. What is something I would prefer?’

Kurapika didn’t usually have the privilege to be picky. He ate what he could.

“If I’m being honest, I would prefer a traditional Kurtan dish, but as that is impossible for you to make…”

He thought for a moment more, (Name) typing something into her phone as he did.

“Something… suitable for a slumber party should be fine.”

Leorio snickered. “She asked what you specifically wanted, Kurapika.”

The man shot him a look. “I’ve never been to a slumber party. I don’t know what foods you eat during one.”

(Name) nodded, patting the blonde on the back. “It’s alright, I’ll let it slide this time. Just focus on picking out some snacks you like, okay?”

She left the snack aisle then, Gon and Killua in tow.

“You heard the lady, pick out some snacks.”

Kurapika frowned. Again, he wasn’t picky. There were few things that he cared about when it came to food, but…

He managed to pick out a few items.

The first was a box of cinnamon covered pecans. Pecans were one of his favorite nuts, and he quite enjoyed cinnamon.

His second pick was bag of trail mix, and his last was a box of crackers and cheese.

“No offense but those are some pretty lame snacks.”

Kurapika rolled his eyes. “She said to pick what I like. This is what I like.”

“Any particular reason you like them?”

The blonde nodded. “Nuts are high in protein, crackers and cheese are filling. Travel mix is convenient.”

Leorio sighed. “This isn’t a mission Kurapika, it’s a slumber party. Is there any food you get purely because you enjoy it?”

Again, the blonde had to think for a minute. Staring down the snack aisle, he began walking towards the sweets section.

In front of him was a specific type of candy. They looked like normal peppermints, but instead tasted of strawberries and cream.

Kurapika took a bag, looking down at it with a half hearted smile.

It was the first candy he could remember eating, a favorite among the Kurtan children.

“Got what you all wanted?”

(Name) strolled towards the two, the shopping cart the boys were pushing a lot fuller now.

Leorio turned to her with his arms full of snacks, (Name) stopping.

“Leorio, you can have three of those.”

Kurapika blinked and looked down at his own snacks, reaching to put one back.

“Oh, you can have as many as you want, Kurapika!”

She grabbed the snacks from his arms and dropped them into the shopping cart.

“Hey, no fair! Why does Kurapika get special treatment?”

(Name) gave him a smile. “Because Kurapika is just too pretty to deny.”

It took a moment for Kurapika to process the compliment, but when he did his cheeks turned pink. She’d called him pretty before, but the suddenness of her words left him flustered.

“That’s discrimination! Are you saying I’m not pretty?”

Leorio leaned forward, fluttering his eyelashes. (Name) groaned and pushed him away. “You’re not pretty, Leorio, you’re handsome.”

The man paused, his own cheeks turning a shade of pink.

Leorio cleared his throat and stood. “Ehem. Thank you.”

‘She thinks Leorio is handsome?’

Kurapika glanced between the two. In the past two years he’d been gone, how much closer had they gotten?

Was it closer than him and (Name) had been?

Kurapika only became more suspicious when (Name) looped her arm in Leorio’s.

“Let’s go check out, then.”

She walked away, Gon and Killua laughing.

“She always knows how to distract Leorio.” Killua said, snickering. Gon nodded.

“Yeah, one compliment and he’s like that.”

Leorio stumbled over both his words and his own feet as (Name) dragged him away.

The blonde watched with mild irritation.

———————

“Everyone, what are the rules for the carnival?”

They all sighed.

“1. Don’t fight the carnies, even if their games are rigged.” Killua said, his arms folded over his chest.

“2. There is a buddy system. At least have on other person with you at all times.” Gon answered, grabbing Killua’s arm.

“3. No gambling.”

“Wait why is that a rule?” Killua asked after Leorio stated the 3rd rule.

“You can blame Leorio for that.”

The other three boys turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

‘What an idiot.’

“4. No leaving the carnival without informing everyone first.” Kurapika said, opening his car door.

“That goes for everyone, adults included. I won’t hesitate to report any of you missing.”

She gave them all a look before smiling.

“Okay, everyone grab your buddy and let’s go!”

The group left the parking lot and entered the carnival.

“We’ll walk around then split up. Killua, Gon.”

She grabbed both of the boys by their shoulders when she noticed them starting to drift away

“You’ll be joining us.”

Killua groaned, Gon just nodding as he was dragged away.

They made a lap around the carnival, (Name) pointing out each attraction she’d want to visit.

“Oh, there’s a haunted house.”

Leorio perked up. “Haunted house? It’s not even close to Halloween.”

Kurapika glanced at the cheaply designed haunted house before continuing to follow (Name).

“Okay, you two can go. We’ll be meeting back up before 3 pm at the food court.”

The two boys were gone as soon as she finished talking.

“Are they going to follow the rules?”

“No, but they’ll be secretive about it so hopefully it can’t be traced back to me.”

“Hopefully they don’t attack anyone this time.”

Kurapika stared at the two with an incredulous expression.

‘What the hell do they get up to when they’re unsupervised?’

The first attraction the group of three were drawn to was a game where you threw darts at balloons to win a prize.

“Hmm… Leorio, I’m going to try.”

The man nodded. “Go ahead. I’m going to be at the next booth.”

Kurapika and (Name) turned, only to be instantly disappointed.

“A kissing booth? Seriously Leorio?”

(Name) walked up to the game of her choice. “Kurapika, you can go to another booth nearby while I play if you want.”

“I think I’ll try this one after you.”

(Name) nodded then handed the man behind the counter a few dollars.

“Alright Miss, all you have to do is hit three balloons with these darts, and you’ll win a prize!”

He handed her five darts, meaning she had five chances.

She handed Kurapika two of the darts. “Hold these for me, sweetheart.”

He did so, holding back a smile.

(Name) threw her first dart.

“You’ve hit your first balloon! Only three more to go!”

She jumped up and down in excitement. “Ahh, okay!”

She threw her second one, almost grazing a nearby balloon. It hit the board, missing it by a millimeter.

The next dart also missed, (Name) raising an eyebrow.

‘Weird, those should have hit.’

“Do you want me to try?”

Kurapika twirled a dart between his nimble fingers. His eyes were on the balloons, a frown on his lips.

“Uh, sure. Go ahead.”

Kurapika stepped forward, throwing the dart with more strength than necessary.

POP!

The carny’s eyes went wide. “How did you…”

“You’ve been using nen to make the balloons harder to penetrate but…”

He threw his last dart, popping the last balloon.

“It wasn’t strong enough to resist my nen coated darts.”

(Name) used Gyo to see Kurapika was right. The balloons had a thin nen barrier around them, making them indestructible to non men users.

The carny scoffed. “Didn’t think any nen users would be coming to my booth. Go ahead and pick out your prize, little lady.”

(Name) glanced at Kurapika, giving him a sweet smile.

“You pick. You’re the one that figured out what was going on, it’s only fair.”

Kurapika browsed the various plushies and small toys. Nothing he saw caught his eye.

‘I’m not really interested in such things. But…’

He turned away to think, and spotted a couple at another booth.

A man won a game, the girl at his side cheering for him. Once the prize was won, he handed it to the girl.

Kurapika’s eyes widened when the girl gasped and pulled the man into a kiss.

‘Is this what you’re supposed to do?’

He looked over the prizes again, this time with (Name) in mind. Kurapika remembered when he’d been in a small store in York New with Leorio

“She likes cute things. Like Sanrio products.”

“Sanrio? What is that?”

Leorio stared at the man. “Are you being serious? Hello Kitty, My Melody, Keroppi?”

Kurapika gave him a confused look.

“Oh my god. Just get her this.”

Leorio shoved a keychain into his hands. It was small and pink, with a cartoon cat holding a strawberry at the end.

Kurapika pointed to a Hello Kitty plush. “I’ll take that one.”

The carny handed it over and shooed them away. “Now get out of here. You’re bad for business.”

(Name) shrugged and walked over to Leorio, who was still in line for the kissing booth.

Now Kurapika was left carrying a small Hello Kitty plush.

‘Do I… give it to her now? Or later?’

(Name) had to physically drag Leorio away from his place in line. “It’s flu season, Leorio.”

“I don’t care! I’ll happily get sick if I get to kiss a pretty lady!”

Kurapika followed behind them, staring down at the small plush.

‘It’s… kind of cute.’

——————

After playing a few games, the group met up at the food court. Gon and Killua had been waiting for them with corndogs in hand.

“Finally. We’ve been waiting for like…”

“Five minutes.”

(Name) rolled her eyes and sat down next to them. “You two having fun?”

“Gon threw up.”

“Twice!”

(Name) smacked a hand over her forehead. “And you didn’t call me, why?”

“… it was really gross.”

“Trust me, you didn’t want to see it.”

Kurapika shivered. “Gross. Why are you eating if you just threw up?”

“It’s BECAUSE I just threw up. Gotta refuel before our next ride.”

“Wait, pause.”

(Name) held up her hand, causing the two boys to go quiet.

“Have you been eating and getting on rides right after throwing up?”

They looked at each other before answering.

“… yeah?”

She took a deep breath.

“I love you two. So much.”

She stood up and took Gon’s backpack.

“Hey, my tickets are in there!”

“Yeah, that’s why I took it. No riding anything for at least 20 minutes.”

“But-“

“But nothing! It’s like you’re shaking up a soda can, opening it, then refilling it and doing it all over again! You’re the soda can, Gon!”

Gon sighed, laying his head on the table.

“I told you not to eat four bags of popcorn before going on the carousel, but noo, you wouldn’t listen!”

Killua huffed. “Now we both have to sit out. I can’t rude anything because you’re my buddy.”

(Name) patted Gon’s back. “I’ll get you some water, okay? Just try and relax.”

She left to order her food and get some water.

(Name) returned a few minutes later with a platter of food in one hand and a cup of water in the other.

“Sip on this, I’ll be right back with the other drinks.”

Gon gulped the drink in one go.

“She said sip.”

“Please don’t tell her.”

Killua slapped a hand over his face. “I won’t, but only because if I do she’ll make us stay seated longer.”

Kurapika took a bite of the chicken strips he’d ordered, wincing at the greasy food.

“Ahh, carnival food. I’m going to be sick later.”

Leorio took another bite of his turkey leg.

(Name) returned with the drinks, sitting one in front of each person before taking her seat.

“Alright, dig in.”

She didn’t bother to look up to see they had begun eating without her, seemingly replying to someone on her phone.

After their meal of chicken strips and corn dogs, the group split up again.

“What should we ride next?”

Leorio began to speak but (Name) interrupted.

“I said ride. We’re not going back to the kissing booth.”

“Foiled again.”

Kurapika pointed to a nearby attraction. “How about that one?”

It was one of those turning teacups rides.

‘It’s cute, (Name) would probably like it.’

She hummed, pulling the two behind her to get in line.

“Yeah, let’s try this one. It’s only a dollar per person.”

(Name) stood on her tippy toes to peek over the person in front of her. “The line doesn’t seem that long, we’ll only have to w-“

She was interrupted when someone shoved her back and took her place in line.

“Hey, what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Leorio stepped out of line to help (Name) up and brush the dirt off her dress.

The man who had cut the line didn’t answer.

Kurapika glanced between (Name) and the man, his jaw tensing.

‘She said not to attack anyone. Keep calm.’

Leorio and (Name) joined the line again, Kurapika creating a space for them to get in front of him.

(Name) politely tapped on the man’s shoulder.

“You need to go to the end of the line.”

The man turned around.

“And just what are you gonna do about it if I don’t?”

Her companions stared back at him from behind her, their expressions darkened.

“I… I’ll go.”

The man scurried away before (Name) could say another word.

“Wow. Was he scared of me?”

She pointed a finger at herself, looking back at her friends in surprise.

“You do have a scary mom look. Must of been a mommas boy.” Leorio replied with a shrug.

Kurapika followed the man with his eyes, making sure he could feel the blondes bloodlust with each step.

“Kurapika?”

He blinked before turning his attention back to (Name).

“Your eyes.”

The blonde paused, staring into the reflective metal off the teacup ride.

His usual soft brown eyes were a rich shade of scarlet. (Name) grabbed Kurapika’s hand and moved into a crowd of people.

“Close your eyes until I say to open them.”

He did so, trusting her to lead him to safety.

The two stopped somewhere, (Name) thrusting something onto his face.

“Okay, you can open them now.”

His vision was darker now.

“Sunglasses?”

“Yeah, will that work?”

He nodded. “Yes. They’ll work for now.”

Kurapika took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

‘Why are my eyes scarlet? Am I that angry a man pushed her?’

(Name) placed a hand on his arm. “I don’t think anyone saw, but we should probably leave to be safe.”

Although she was putting up a brave face so he wouldn’t feel bad, he could tell she was disappointed they would have to leave.

“No, it’s fine. I closed my eyes seconds after they became scarlet, no one would have seen them.”

He took her hand, walking away from the booth she’d led them to.

“Let’s get back to Leorio. He probably has no idea what’s going on.”

“Actually, he’s the one that realized your eyes were red. I just reacted first.”

Kurapika laughed. “Of course. He’s so slow to act. Very indecisive.”

———————

The two joined Leorio, who had kept their spot in line while they were away.

“You two are just in time. It’s our turn next.”

(Name) jumped up in excitement. “Really? Oh good, I hate waiting.”

The three soon discovered that the ride was two per teacup.

And Leorio was way too tall to be stuffed into a teacup with another person.

“Sir, we’ll need you to step out of line. You’re too tall to ride this attraction.”

“Too tall?! There aren’t any rules about being too tall!”

(Name) gave him a look, causing him to back down and grumpily step away.

“Alright, you two ladies can go ahead and enter the teacups.”

Kurapika frowns. ‘Why do people keep assuming I’m a woman?’

(Name) took her seat in a pink teacup. “Get in and close the door behind you.”

He listened, a pout on his lips. Did he really look that much like a woman? What was it that made people immediately assume he wasn’t a man?

‘I should cut my hair…’

(Name) tapped his leg with her foot. “Hey, it’s time to start spinning!”

“Spinning? What-“

(Name) turned the wheel in the center with a giggle, the teacup spinning around so fast Kurapika had to hold on to keep himself from flying out.

“Ahh, this is so much fun! K- wait are you okay?”

Kurapika was beginning to turn a sickly shade of green as the rude continued. He gave her a thumbs up before moving his hands to hold his stomach.

“Oh shit.”

———————

“(Name), I am so sorry.”

The two sat on a bench, both covered in vomit.

“Don’t be. I should have known you would have a sensitive stomach after eating that greasy food.”

Leorio returned, carrying (Name)’s backpack. “Hey, I got your text. Is-“

He stopped a few feet away, holding a hand over his mouth.

“Yikes.”

(Name) let out a tired sigh, standing up so Kurapika could lie down fully.

“Watch over him, I’ll be right back.”

“What about the buddy system?”

(Name) shrugged. “That only applies to you four trouble makers.”

Kurapika slapped a hand over his head, letting out a miserable groan.

She was back soon after, carrying a handful of wet paper towels and a novelty tshirt that says “I love YN”.

“What is a York New tshirt doing here? We aren’t even close.”

(Name) shrugged. “I don’t know, it was the cheapest shirt available. Here, let me help you.”

She helped Kurapika sit off and pulled off his tabard, folding it carefully and throwing it in a plastic bag to wash later.

“I’m sorry, I’ve ruined your fun.”

(Name) pulled the shirt over his head and gave him a soft smile. “To be fair, Gon has been throwing up too.”

“But I threw up ON you.”

She grimaced. “Yeah, that does suck. But everyone gets sick. Trust me, I’ve gone through worse.”

He frowned, looking down at his new clean shirt.

“I’m going to go change too. Just rest up, the boys will be here in a minute.”

“You mean Gon and Killua? Wait I-“

She was already gone.

“Fuck, if Killua sees me like this-“

The sound of raucous laughter could be heard to his left.

‘God damn it.’

“Oh my- oh my god no way. There’s no way this is happening right now, hahaha!”

Killua was rolling on the ground, tears in his eyes from how hard he was laughing.

“Oh, you threw up too? And you got a new shirt, wow!”

Killua pulled himself together, picking himself off the ground.

“I don’t see why this is so funny. It’s just a novelty tshirt.”

Killua paused.

“No way.”

He took his phone out of Gon’s backpack and snapped a picture, turning the screen towards Kurapika.

The glasses (Name) had unceremoniously shoved into his face weren’t just normal sunglasses.

They were the most obnoxiously over the to hello kitty sunglasses on planet earth.

Killua bursted into laughter again. “Jesus Christ man, who told you those were a good choice?”

“(Name) did.”

His cheeks were a dark shade of red now. He wished (Name) would have picked something a little… manlier.

‘This must be the reason that person thought I was a woman. Of course.’

“Oh.”

Killua quieted down. He wouldn’t insult something (Name) picked out.

“I think they look good on you.”

Killua jumped at the sound of (Name)’s voice behind him.

“(Name)?”

Kurapika raised his head weakly to look at her.

“Where did you get those clothes from?”

(Name) was now wearing a tank top and a white pleated skirt. “Oh, I keep a change of clothes in my bag at all times. It became a habit after the Hunter Exam.”

He glanced from her small backpack, to her new clothes, to her face.

“How… never mind.”

(Name) crouched down next to him and placed a hand on his forehead.

“You’re warm. I’m going to take the boys to a few more rides, and then we’ll go home. Leorio, stay with him until then.”

“Roger that.”

(Name) leaned down to whisper in his ear. “Just consider us even for me drooling on you during the Hunter Exam, alright?”

She gave him a sweet smile before turning to leave, Killua and Gon following behind her.

——————

For the most part, Leorio listened and stayed by Kurapika’s side.

That was until he had to use the bathroom.

“Hey, you think you’ll be okay for like… five minutes? I need to take a leak.”

“I’m a grown man, I can handle myself.”

Leorio would have shot back saying even grown men need help sometimes, but he didn’t have enough time to, sprinting off to the restrooms.

For the first minute or so, Kurapika stayed still, letting the cool breeze calm him down.

That was until people started to gather around him.

“There’s a drunk lady just… laying on that bench. Is that legal?”

“She smells awful.”

Kurapika cracked one of his eyes open. On his right were a handful of people, peeking over the bench to look at him.

“I’m not drunk, just sick”

“That’s what they all say, lady. There’s kids here, drink at home.”

Kurapika sighed softly. He didn’t give a shit what other people thought about him, but they were disturbing his rest.

“Listen, I’m this close to projectile vomiting on anyone in 30 foot vicinity. You might want to vacate the premises.”

They scoffed at him. “Oh really?”

Kurapika rolled his eyes and pretended to dry heave, sending the crowd of people running.

“Oh god he’s going to throw up again. (Name)!”

“Where is Leorio? I leave for 10 minutes and-“

Kurapika held up a hand. “I’m fine, I was just pretending.”

(Name) helped him sit up. “Okay, we’ll pretend to not be a total mess right now because people are staring. Where’s Leorio?”

He leaned against her shoulder for support, cursing his weak body. “Bathroom. He’s only been gone for a minute.”

She halfheartedly patted his back. “Alright. Gon, Killua, go get him and head towards the car. I’ll meet you there.”

She pulled him into a standing position. “Can you walk?”

He stepped forward without her help, pushing her hand away. “Yes, I’m not helpless.”

Killua raised an eyebrow. “Uh huh. You look like a newborn giraffe. Don’t blame (Name) if you fall and eat shit.”

Kurapika flipped him the bird before stumbling towards the car.

‘Why are men like this?’ (Name) followed behind him, ready to catch him if he fell.

———————

The car ride home was quiet, the only sound heard being Killua singing along to whatever was on the radio.

“Killua, could you please quiet down? I’ve gotta headache.” Kurapika asked as a hand rubbed away at his temple.

Killua looked like he was considering his question, opening his mouth before (Name) sent him a glare through the rear view mirror.

“Yeah, whatever.”

Kurapika sighed in relief. “Thank you.”

If he knew that Killua had been seconds away from screaming at the top of his longs before (Name) intervened, he wouldn’t have thanked him.

(Name) pulled into the driveway of her home. The boys piled out of her mom van, running inside and tossing off their shoes.

“I’m going to shower…” Kurapika stated before stumbling towards the bathroom.

“Wait, don’t forget-“

He closed the door behind him.

“Your clothes…”

She groaned. Now, either she would have to bring him clothes while he showered or he would have to walk to his room in a towel.

‘Wait…’

“Hey, I’m going to take a shower. Can you bring Kurapika some clothes in a minute?”

She’d asked Leorio, but KIllua butted in. “Yeah, I can.”

“No. Sorry but I don’t trust you.”

“But…”

“No buts. Leorio, don’t let him get his little paws on Kurapika’s clothes. Killua has a cute face, but don’t be fooled.”

Leorio scoffed. “Oh please, I’ve known him longer than you. I watched him take a man’s heart out with just his bare hands.”

“Killua thats unsanitary.”

“He didn’t even wash his hands after.”

“GROSS!”

(Name) pulled away from the boy, a look of disgust on her face. “Go wash your hands, now!”

“It was two years ago!”

“I don’t care! Go!”

He walked up the stairs to (Name)’s bathroom while grumbling about her being unreasonable.

“I’ll take his clothes now…” Leorio slipped away into Kurapika’s room to avoid (Name)’s irritated state.

“Okay, let’s get you some medicine for your nausea earlier.”

Gon and (Name) sat at the dinner table, drinking juice boxes as she waited for Killua to come back down the stairs.

“I’m done. Go take your shower or whatever.”

(Name) leaped out of her seat and races up the stairs. She’d been putting on brave face for Kurapika, but she’d been on the verge of a meltdown for the past two hours.

‘God I smell so gross. Gonna throw that dress away later…’

She threw her clothing into the hamper and stepped into the warm water.

‘Ahh… that’s better. Gonna- where the fuck is my shampoo?’

(Name) blinked, did she use the rest of her shampoo last time? Good thing she kept extra under her sink…

(Name) finished her shower quickly. She’d need to start dinner soon if they would be eating before 8 pm.

Since they were having a sleepover, (Name) threw on a pair of pajama pants and a sweater. Comfortable, and cute.

‘There’s no one to look cute for, though.’

She sighed. It had been a while since she’d thought about purposefully dressing up. She’d have to call up some of her friends for a night on the town.

“Hey, did you-“

(Name) paused on the last stair. For a moment, she contemplated just going back upstairs and going back to bed. That would be much easier than dealing with the current situation.

Fake money was strewn across the floor, Leorio sitting in a corner muttering something about losing everything.

Killua and Kurapika were having a stand off, Monopoly money clutched against Killua’s chest.

And Gon was sitting with his shoes on the couch.

‘Where to start?’

She made her presence known by clearing her throat. Several pairs of eyes shot up to see her staring down at them, her eyes narrowed.

“You have 1 minute to fix this. I’ve got to grab my backpack from upstairs.”

With that, she turned around and walked back up.

———————

When (Name) returned, the floor was clean and the boys were all sitting patiently at the dinner table.

“Okay, good. Now that that’s settled, what should we do for dinner?”

“Something simple. I don’t think Gon can handle anything complex right now.”

Killua patted his friends back, who was currently sitting with his face planted on the table.

“Anything you make will be good, so I don’t care.”

(Name) groaned. “God you guys are no help at all.”

She stormed to the kitchen and threw the fridge open.

‘Something easy and simple… that won’t take long to cook…’

She settled on her grandmas recipe for homemade chicken noodle soup. She’d made it countless times, and even though it wasn’t cold outside yet, she knew it was the best option she had.

It was easy to make and would be good for her two sick friends.

“We’re eating chicken noodle soup. That okay with everyone?”

They all nodded, the two boys moving from the table to the couch to watch TV.

Kurapika’s hair was wet. Again. (Name) stared at him, hoping he’d be able to feel her thoughts and dry his hair, but he didn’t react at all.

“Kurapika… your hair.”

He looked at her, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

“Didn’t I tell you if you don’t dry it, you’ll catch a cold?”

He pushed his wet locks out of his face. “You worry too much. I’ve been leaving my hair wet for years.”

(Name) left the room and grabbed a towel. “Either you dry it, or I do. I’m not going to let you get sick.”

Kurapika stared at the towel.

‘Well… she did a good job last time…’

“… you can dry it. If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t. Leorio, watch the chicken. It’s cooking on the stove.”

“Roger that.”

(Name) dried his hair again, Kurapika relaxing ever so slightly under her touch.

‘I shouldn’t get used to this…’

But even as he thought that, his eyes closed and he leaned into her touch, a content look on his face.

He didn’t know how much he loved the feeling of fingers running through his hair. Kurapika even enjoyed the conditioner she added in.

“All done. Try to remember next time, okay?”

‘I’ll remember to forget.’

As (Name) cooked, Kurapika watched her from the table. It was hard not to.

He could still feel the lingering sensation of her fingers in his hair. It felt comforting, soothing almost.

Was it wrong to let himself enjoy the comfort of his friend? Maybe. In his world, that was a luxury he didn’t have the time to enjoy.

But he wasn’t on a mission right now. He could relax.

Just a little.

——————

After dinner, the group gathered in the living room. (Name) and Gon carried in multiple large comforters, placing them on the group to make a pallet.

“Are we… all sleeping here? Together?”

Kurapika watched as the other four plopped down onto the floor, Gon and Killua rolling around the soft surface.

“Yeah? That’s what you do during a sleepover. You… sleep over.”

He stared down at Leorio, who looked a bit too comfortable lying next to (Name).

“I see.”

He sat between Leorio and (Name), pushing the man away with his foot.

“Hey, rude! Who says you get to sleep next to (Name)?”

“I just don’t know how I feel letting my female friend sleep next to a known pervert. I wouldn’t be able to rest knowing she might be leered at.”

Leorio began to protest, but Killua spoke up.

“I actually agree with Kurapika. We haven’t forgotten what happened during the Hunter Exam.”

“Wait what happened?”

(Name) tilted her head in Leorio’s direction.

“On second thought I think I’m perfectly fine sleeping over here.”

Leorio cuddled up under a blanket, hiding away from (Name)’s judging gaze.

“Uh huh… anyways, what should we do next? Okay some games? Watch a movie?”

“Aren’t we… aren’t we supposed to sleep?”

Kurapika was already under his blanket, looking up at her with sleepy eyes.

“Oh, I mean you can, but I won’t promise you’ll be unscathed when you wake up.”

He was suddenly very awake.

“Unscathed?”

“First one to fall asleep gets their face drawn on.”

“Except for (Name). Last time we did that…”

KIllua shuddered. “It was a permanent marker too.”

“Killua. You didn’t.”

(Name) sighed. “He did. I had to go on a mission with a faded marker mustache and scribbles on my face. It was awful.”

“I don’t envy you. Not one bit.”

Killua and Gon crawled over. “We said we were sorry! Gon even picked you flowers.”

“Yeah, from our neighbors garden.”

“Technically-“

“Technically nothing! Now they won’t talk to me anymore!”

(Name) crossed her arms, pouting. “They were pretty though… and it was sweet of you…”

She pulled the two into her arms. “Aww, I can’t stay mad at my boys. Come on, let’s get some snacks and play some games.”

The two followed behind her like the puppies they were, Kurapika watching.

“How should I know you’re not going to perv on her?”

Kurapika glanced down at Leorio, who was wrapped up in a blanket. He’s inched towards the blonde like a worm.

“Unlike you I don’t have the history of being a sexual deviant.”

Leorio scoffed. “Yeah, sure. That’s only because you haven’t had your sexual awakening.”

Kurapika frowned. “My what?”

The dark haired man stared up at him. “You’re joking. Have you ever had any kind of sexual education?”

“… no?”

Leorio face planted. Now he really looked like a worm.

“Jesus. Okay, when a mom and a dad love each other very much-“

“I know what sex is, Leorio. Also, shut up.”

The blonde man’s face had gone red. Even if he hadn’t had his sexual awakening or whatever the hell Leorio had said, talking about sex was awkward.

Especially when his friend knew a lot more than he did.

“Whatever. Just… if you need to know something about it… just call me. I don’t want you doing something stupid and embarrassing yourself in front of (Name).”

Kurapika’s face turned a brighter shade of red. “In front of (Name)? What do you mean by-“

“Guys, should we play Candy Land or Uno?”

Their conversation was thankfully cut short by the group returning, games in hand.

Kurapika thanked the fact that he’d been sick today, because his red face was easily excused.

———————

They played for an hour or so before Leorio gave in and fell asleep.

“Boys, he has classes this weekend. Use the washable markers.”

Kurapika and (Name) sat on the couch watching some random anime the two boys had picked out as they doodled away on Leorio’s face.

“Are you feeling tired?”

(Name) had only asked because Kurapika’s head was dangerously close to leaning on her shoulder.

“Mm… a little.”

“You’re safe to sleep now. They have their victim.”

Kurapika nodded, but didn’t move. His eyes were getting heavy and he didn’t have enough brain capacity to listen.

“Mhm… yeah I’ll do that in just… just a…”

His head fully leaned onto her shoulder, the man falling asleep.

(Name) peeked at him from the corner of his eyes.

‘Ugh, why does he have to be so cute. It’s hard to keep my distance when he’s so freaking cute!’

She moved, moving his head from her shoulder to her lap.

‘If he stayed like that, he’ll hurt his neck…’

Once Killua and Gok finished their dastardly deed, they joined (Name) on the couch.

“I can kick him off of you if you want.”

(Name) shooed Killua away. “Killua, that’s not nice. Let him rest.”

The white haired boy rolled his eyes. “Alright, but don’t come complaining to me if he drools on you.”

She pursed her lips. “I won’t.”

Another hour passed, with (Name) passing the time by gently running her fingers through his hair.

It wasn’t as soft as it had been when he’d fallen asleep on her before. She knew he hadn’t been taking care of himself, and this only solidified the thought in her head.

‘I need to help him. Before he ends up getting himself killed.’

Gon and Killua fell asleep soon after. Killua had finally run out of steam after him and Gon chased each other down the street for a good 30 minutes.

‘The neighbors are going to complain again. At least they think the thing disturbing their sleep is a cryptid and not Killua.’

She glanced down at Kurapika.

He was crying.

She didn’t know why, but in his sleep tears had pooled into the corners of his eyes, falling onto her lap.

(Name) wiped them away and pulled the blanket they were sharing up to his chin.

‘It’s been a long day. I should sleep too…”

She moved so her legs were underneath him and lied down, her head resting against the armrest of the couch.

[tojiscumdumpster]

CHAPTER ELEVEN- TOJI

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀✧ summary page

 Life has really been fucking with me these last six weeks. Work’s hell. The apartment we live in went up by four hundred dollars. And to make matters worse, Megumi and I have been rockier than ever. 

 That’s the thing that’s bothering me the most.

 It’s over simple shit, too. 

 I try my best to be a laid back parent and only go full on dad mode when needed, but I think the kid has taken advantage of that. All I ask is three things from Megumi:

 Don’t get into fights, and if you do, don’t get caught. 

 School night curfew is eight. Weekends are eleven.

 And lastly, tell me your whereabouts.

 But what does he do instead? Miss curfew. Leave the house without telling me where he’s going, and now he’s on a two week-suspension from school since he got into a fight. 

 Grant it the fight was justify because some kids were fucking with him and talking shit about his lack of English, but shit, Megumi. 

 At least he won. 

 One side of me was saying that’s my boy, and the other side had to ground him. 

 Let’s just say he wasn’t too happy with me after that. 

 I’m surprised he actually listened to me, though. But with him listening, I’ve been getting the silent treatment, no eating meals together, and been avoided like I’m the plague. 

 Parenting is not a walk in the park, I know that. Especially when you’re a single parent. When times like this hit, I think of my late wife more than ever. 

 With her death anniversary right around the corner, I can’t help but miss her and wish she was by my side. 

 I can’t do this shit alone. I was not raised in a loving environment, and considering the fact that my old man was an abusive drunk that used me as his punching bag, I damn sure don’t know what the fuck it feels like to have a father. 

 A mom? Don’t know either. Old man wasn’t faithful and was sleeping around with different women, so my mom could be dead or alive. Who knows? 

 My late wife knew all of this, not the severity, but she knew I had a shitty family. Yet she managed to see something good in a motherfucker like me, to the point we had a kid together.

 A kid that fucking hates me. And I’m the only one to blame. 

 God, maybe I should listen to Kong for once. I’m forty-two. Shit, maybe it is time to settle down and look for a housewife. Someone who’s willing to help raise a fifteen-year-old boy. 

 No, what the fuck am I saying? Since when do I listen to that fucker?

 Never. I trust him, though. Hell, do I really have a choice since he helped me take care of Megumi when I was going through my episodes in the early years of my wife’s death? 

 But my kid is my responsibility. Getting a woman involved isn’t going to help my relationship with Megumi. That’s some shit I need to fix myself. 

 Kong and I have one unorthodox ass relationship, but he’s the only bastard I actually consider a friend, and I know he means well. 

 He is Megumi’s godfather after all. Besides, the last thing I want to do is to ever make Megumi feel like I’m trying to replace his mom. Far from it. 

 Maybe loneliness is just catching up to my old ass.m, and the only woman I think of breaking me from my no relationship rule is Y/N. 

 Y/N fucking L /N. 

 That woman drives me insane in more ways than one. 

 After our first date over a month ago, we’ve been talking nonstop. Texting. Calling. Casual dates every now and there when time allows us. If I’m being real, Y/N is the only reason why I haven’t ripped my fucking hair out. 

 People would usually turn to alcohol to depend on the burning sensation it gives you to get drunk when feeling stressed. But me? Y/N is who I get drunk off of. Her energy is fucking addicting, and the reassurance she gives me… who know I needed so much of it. 

Like any other man, I don’t turn to anyone to help with my problems. I’m a prideful motherfucker who has the ego the size of a galaxy. However, I don’t have to be the way around Y/N. I sound sappy as shit, I know. 

 Guess that’s what happens when you become vulnerable. 

 The only reason why I haven’t had sex with her yet.

 I know myself. When I was younger, I only saw sex as a way to make extra cash when I was struggling after I got disowned by the Zen’in. The older I got, sex became more meaningless to me. I can be balls deep in pussy, no matter how good it is, and have no type of feelings attached. Me making a woman come or them making me come doesn’t mean I’ll start buying them roses and shit. 

 It wouldn’t be the same with Y/N. 

 Not saying I’m on the verge of falling in love with her, let alone loving her. But seeing how much we talk, how jealous I fucking get, especially after figuring out she works at the same school as her ex-fiancé, I don’t want any other fucker to even breathe the same air as her.

 Not even myself, but I’ll still be selfish enough to do it.

 That’s the thing about Y/N. I feel myself growing more selfish when it comes to her. I want her time and energy to only be for me. She’s mine without her knowing and I’m planning on keeping it that way. I can admit that’s probably a dick move, but I can’t find myself falling in love again. 

At least, I’m forcing myself not to.

 Hearing her moan my name. Seeing her face when she comes. Knowing what it feels to have that sweet, tight, warm fucking pussy clench around my fingers. I’ll become a starved and possessive man the moment she’s like that around my dick. 

 I’ll catch feelings.

 I’ll want her above me, beneath me, all over me twenty-four-seven. I’m not an easy lover. I can admit to that.

 But that won’t stop me from…

 No, I won’t say that.

 It’s strong. Whatever emotion I feel about Y/N, and I can’t help but think it has something to do with her being so damn familiar. The more I talk to her, the more I know who she is. Maybe in another lifetime I’ve loved her before. 

 Even saying that in my head sounds crazy as shit. The dreams about her aren't helping, either.

 “Get a hold of yourself, Fushiguro,” I mutter to myself. I look at the time to see it’s eleven thirty. “She should be on her free hour right now.” 

 Maybe a phone call wouldn’t hurt.

 “I’m busy,” I grunt.

 I couldn’t even call Y/N before Kong called me to fucking be clingy. He claims he only calls me to check on the kid, but Megumi has his own phone. 

 “Mad because I’m not your girlfriend? Sorry, I had you first, Fushiguro.” I hear him puffing out smoke from his cigarette. “Be grateful you have a fucking friend to check on you, you fucking jackass.”

 I chuckle, sarcastically saying, “Awe, I consider myself very lucky.”

 “Fuck you.”

 “Sorry, not interested,” I replied. And this is what I mean by unorthodox friendship. “Assuming you got some information for me?” After that Zen’in fuck purchased the club ownership last month, I had Kong do some digging for me.

 All the bullshit he was spewing about Naobito forcing everyone in that family who doesn’t have a kid, to have one, and taking interest in finding Megumi, I couldn’t take shit like that lightly.

 Not when my kid is potentially involved.

 Knowing how those Zen’ins’ get down, they always find a way to get what they want. Even if it results in blood.

 “I found some files about that Naoya shitface you told me about… Looks like he’s the real deal,” he says.

 “Meaning?”

 “Meaning he is your cousin. Looks like your old man’s brother had some unwanted kids of his own.”

 “Having kids in the family just to leave them dry is a fucking ritual in that shitty ass family.” I get up from bed and go to the kitchen to grab a ginger ale. “What else you find out?”

 “Zen'in owns half of the real estate in Tokyo,” he tells me, clicking his tongue. “Those bastards keep growing and growing by the minute. So if what this Naoya is saying is true, I can only imagine Naobito is doing this to have the city fear the name Zen’in, even after he’s six feet under.”

 I scoff. “For an ego stroker? So what the fuck does this have to do with my kid?”

 “How the hell am I supposed to know?”

  Over my dead fucking body if they think they could come even twenty feet near Megumi. I have no problem going back to that violent lifestyle that I’m trying to escape when it comes to protecting my kid.

 Actually, I’m hoping that they do because I’ve been itching for a stress relief and permanently getting rid of those Zen’in fucks just might be the way to do it.

 Maybe I should pay them a visit on my trip to Japan in a few months.

 I run my hand through my hair and sigh. “Alright. Keep me posted.” An incoming call comes through and I see Y/N’s name flashing my screen. “Gotta go.”

 “Your girlfriend’s callin-” I disconnected our line before he finished his bullshit to answer Y/N.

 “I’m so close to fucking pulling these braids out and choking my boss with them.” Ha, that’s a funny way to say hello.

 “I’m trying to wrap my head around why hearing you threaten to kill someone is turning me on?” I tease.

 She lets out a soft breath. “I’m sorry, big guy. Work is being a pain in my ass right now.”

 “I see that. You cursed twice. That’s something expected from me.”

 “Well, it’s kind of inevitable when you’re a high school teacher,” she argues. “And actually, no. I expect four curse words in under a minute from you. So I think my two words will be alright.”

 I smile while walking back to my room and close the door behind me. “Talk to me, sweets. What’s going on?”

 “Other than finding out that my name was unknowingly submitted to take part in the state’s teachers summit, nothing really.”

“Is it that bad?” 

 “No. It’s actually a good opportunity to voice your concerns as a teacher to the school board, but quite frankly, I’m tired of going. Only one teacher is selected every year to represent each school in the county and it’s always me.”

 “And what is this summit shit? Why do they need teacher representatives?” I hear her smile through the phone when she explains the summit, and I’m pretty sure it’s because of me cursing already. “Probably this isn’t what you want to hear, but I can see why you’re always chosen. You speak your mind well, and I can see the passion you have when it comes to your students.”

 “Well, yeah, but every teacher should be that way,” she counters. “And the summit this year is four hours away from us, so they made it a weekend convention. A weekend, Toji?” 

 I arch my brow. “And who submitted your name?” Her silence tells me my answer. “You sure this fucker isn’t trying to win you back? Abusing his power as your boss to get you to himself for the weekend seems like a man move I probably would’ve done, too.”

 “You would?” she incredulously asks.

 “When it comes to you? Absolutely. Zero questions asked.” I can almost guarantee the silence from her again is because she’s blushing, something I find fucking adorable about her. “You there, Miss L/N?”

 “Toji, I’m at work,” she answers.

 “Admitting that your mind is in the gutter?”

 “I-uh, no. Just reminding you to get your head out of it.”

 I tip my head back and laugh. “Cute. So when’s the summit?”

 “In three months.”

 “And you can’t pull out?”

 “Unfortunately, no. Unless I can prove that it’s due to a medical or family emergency, I’m out of luck.” No doubt in my mind that her ex pulled this shit intentionally. I mean, I get it. If I lost someone like Y/N as my fiancée, I would be going through hell and back until she was mine again. 

 But too bad for this fucker that isn’t the case anymore, and I don’t tread lightly when it comes to people fucking with what’s mine.

 Mine, that’s exactly what Y/N is.

 “I’m way too hungry for this crap,” she says, pulling me from my possessive musings. 

 “And you didn’t eat because?”

 “Someone kept me up last night on the phone, so I overslept and couldn’t get a decent breakfast before work this morning.” 

 I chuckle, remembering our two a.m. conversations that turned into her masturbating while I was talking her through it. “I’m sure that person is sorry.”

 “Doubt it.”

  I look at the time again to see it’s noon. “What time is your free hour over?” 

 “One. Why?”

 “Grab lunch with me.”

 She playfully hums to consider my last minute invitation. “I guess I can squeeze you in.”

 “Squeeze me in?” I mock her response while laughing. “Appreciate it, Miss L/N.”

 “I’m sure you can find a way to show me your appreciation.”

 I smirk. “Forgot you were at work?”

 “Whatever, Mr. Fushiguro. Text me the address and I’ll meet you there.”

 “Alright, alright. I’ll see you,” is the last thing I say before disconnecting the call.

 Smiling to myself like a fucking lovesick idiot knowing that I’m about to see Y/N has me surprised myself. Like I said earlier, this woman drives me insane.

 And I think I’ll grow to not mind it.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

no discussion question this chapter. but would love to hear your thoughts ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

[vanfleeter]

Six Weeks // JTK

Pairing: Jake x Reader

Warning: Fluff

Author's Note: Full House has been inspiring me lately. Quick little Jake blurb.

Summary: You and Jake begin making plans for your wedding.

Relaxing in the living room with his guitar resting on his lap, Jake strums a random melody that’s been swimming around in his head for the past three days. He’s so focused on his playing that he doesn’t even notice you walking into the room. That is until you’re sitting in front of him on the coffee table. He lifts his eyes to look at you, not once faltering as he continues playing.

You give him a wide smile and he chuckles.

“Okay..” He smiles as he halts his playing and puts his guitar off to the side. “What do you want?”

“Your mom’s asking if we picked a venue and a date yet.” You say.

“No, we haven’t.” He says. “Though we should soon.”

“Yes and I was thinking we could do that now,” You say. “If you don’t mind.”

Jake shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t mind.”

“Great. Do you have any ideas?” You say as you move to sit next to him on the couch.

“Pirates.”

Your shoulders drop. “Pirates?” Jake eagerly nods his head. “Jake, I adore your love for pirates, you know I do. But I do not want pirates at our wedding.”

“Oh come on babe, think about it.” Jake stands from the couch and walks around the room. “It’d be so much fun.”

“So not happening.”

“Okay, so what do you have in mind?”

“I was thinking maybe something simple, small. Oh there's this perfect little white chapel in my hometown that would just be the most beautiful place to have it.”

“Babe, it’s too country for me.”

You feign offense. “No it’s not.”

“Yes, it is. I am not wearing cowboy boots and yelling “yeehaw” when we tie the knot.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “You won’t have to wear cowboy boots and yell “yeehaw”. But I don’t want to struggle down the aisle wearing a dress that cuts off all air to my lungs and looking like I just stepped out of a Johnny Depp movie.”

The front door opens and Josh steps into the house. “Well hello my lovely engaged couple. Have we settled on a place and date yet?”

“Currently figuring that out now.” Jake says. “But she doesn’t like my ideas.”

“Let me guess, pirates?” Josh says, raising an eyebrow.

“He wants to dress as a pirate.” You say as you stand from the couch.

“I don’t think mom would like that either.” Josh says, noting the look on your face.

“Well help us out here.” Jake says.

“Umm no..” Josh says, shaking his head. “I really only came by to pick up those lyric sheets.”

“Oh right, right.” Jake sighs. “I’ll be right back.”

When he leaves the room, you grab hold of Josh’s shirt in the grip of your hands. “Help me please.” You beg.

“Woah there babe,” He says, prying your hands off of his shirt. “Damn, I just ironed this shirt too.”

“You gotta convince Jake to pick the white chapel. Please. It’s super simple and small and intimate.”

“Babe, I don’t like meddling with yours and Jake’s issues. Especially something like this.”

“If you don’t do this, you’re gonna be standing on that altar wearing a pirate costume.”

“Would it be that bad?”

“Oh Josh..”

He laughs and lays his hands on your shoulders. “I’m kidding.. But like I said, I’m not meddling.”

You groan and stomp your foot. “You suck..”

Jake comes back into the living room and hands the lyric sheets to Josh. “I added a few more things, I hope you don’t mind.”

Josh shakes his head. “Not at all.” He says as he reads what Jake added. “In fact I think you made it more intimate.” He says and shoots you a wink.

Jake narrows his eyes at you. “What’d you tell him?”

You shake your head. “Nothing.”

“I have to go.” Josh says. “Have fun!” He quickly slips out of the living room slamming the front door closed behind him.

Jake folds his arms over his chest. “Let’s compromise.” He says.

“Okay, compromise how?”

“I’ll do small and intimate but you have to-”

“I’ll let you dress like Johnny Depp.”

“Hoop earrings?”

“Fine.”

“Okay so we’ve got that settled,” Jake says as he pulls you into his arms. “What about a date?”

“It has to be special.” You say looking up at him.

“What if we made it easy?” He says. “Make it the day we met.”

“That would be perfect.” You say.

“Alright then it’s all done,” He says. “I’ll call the chapel in the morning and get it booked.”

“Jake..”

“Yeah?”

“Tomorrow is Sunday. The preacher won’t be available.”

“Mmmkay, I’ll call on Monday.” He says. He hugs you tightly. “Geez, can you believe that in six weeks we’ll be married?”

You smack your hands to his chest. “Six weeks?!” You exclaim. “Shit, Jake! That means we only have six weeks to find my dress and you need a tux and catering and we can’t forget about the flowers. Oh god, we have to get the save the dates out and the invites and–”

“Babe, babe!” Jake chuckles. “It’s going to be okay. You’re freaking out over things that we can get help with.”

“What if we eloped?” You say. “Quick and simple and-”

“No offense babe, I’d marry you tonight if we could but my mother would kill me if she doesn’t get to see us get married.” He grabs your hands. “Listen, I’m calling the chapel on Monday and after that I’ll rope Josh into helping me find a caterer while you go with Ronnie and my mom to look for a dress.” He still holds your hands and presses a gentle kiss to the top of your knuckles. “We can do this."

O fim

[wheredoipunch]

kuroo x kenma

(the italics are song lyrics or emphasis, don't worry you'll be able to differentiate)

Kenma had been playing video games all day long.

Kenma loved video games. 

Kenma also loved Kuroo.

But Kuroo didn't need to know that.

They had been best friends forever, and he didn't want to ruin things with him. He cared about Kuroo too much to lose his friendship. Kenma loved Kuroo so much. He loved the way Kuroo looked at him, his dark eyes full of adoration, slight amusement, and something else he couldn't quite recognise.

It sort of looked like love.

But Kenma was probably delusional.

From the background, his playlist blasted out of his phone. 

'I wanna ruin our friendship'

Suddenly, his door burst open, and out of it came Kuroo, in all his dark, tall glory. Kenma almost had a heart attack. He also hadn't noticed he was screaming.

'We should be lovers instead'

"Kenma! You've been inside the whole day. You're coming with me, whether you like it or not. I'm dragging your ass out if I have to." Kuroo said, loud and obnoxious as ever. Meanwhile Kenma was still hyperventilating on the floor. "House…keys…Kuroo…" he wheezed in panic. "You gave me spare keys, remember?" Kuroo said, smirking.

"And I regret it immensely."

"As you should."

'I don't know how to say this'

"Okay, you're coming with me."

"Where though?"

"Bokuto, Akaashi, Oikawa, and Iwa are meeting us at that new karaoke place in," Kuroo paused to look at his watch. "Ten minutes ago. Okay, get up, we're late." 

"I hate you." 

'Cause you're really my dearest friend'

"And turn that damn music off." 

To this, Kenma obliged. He didn't want Kuroo to hear the simpy playlist he had made dedicated to him. He ran upstairs, threw on his best (and tightest) pair of jeans, and a random t-shirt with a cat on it. He hurriedly came back down, where Kuroo was waiting.

Maybe he was just imagining Kuroo's expression change for a second. 

Maybe his mouth didn't hang open and his eyebrows didn't raise in surprise.

Kenma was imagining things.

They reached the karaoke place in around fifteen minutes, where they were greeted by their friends. Oikawa ran up to them. "Kuroooooo you promised it wouldn't take you too long to drag Kenma out todayyyy." he complained, pouting. They hadn't noticed Bokuto creep up behind them until he slapped Kenma's ass and said "Damn, Kenma, those jeans are tight as hell. You tryna seduce Kuroo?" 

Kuroo went red. Kenma rolled his eyes.

"If you must know, there's another girl I've got my eyes set on."

"Ooo~ Kenma's gonna get a girlfriend tonight~" Oikawa smirked.

Akaashi dragged Kuroo, who looked severely confused (and slightly constipated) away to get food and sign in so they could play.

"Who's the girl?" Oikawa nudged Kenma. "Tell us everything."

"You really wanna know?" Kenma asked.

"Tell us or we make you sing first." Bokuto said.

"She's…your mom." Kenma said, and sprinted away as fast as his legs would carry him. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, he ran right into Akaashi, who managed to spill all six of the open Coca Cola bottles on him.

Kenma, now drenched in Coke, opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish. 

"How did you manage to drop all six onto me?" he sputtered.

Oikawa and Bokuto were cackling in the background, Bokuto holding onto Oikawa's arm for dear life as he wheezed so hard he cried. Iwaizumi shook his head, but laughed along with them.

Kuroo was giggling wildly as Akaashi apologised profusely, also grinning like a mad man. 

A few seconds later, Kenma joined in, shaking with laughter.

After they had all finished teasing Kenma, Kuroo pulled him aside, and silently tugged him to the bathroom. He pulled off his hoodie and handed it to Kenma, his hand awkwardly touching the back of his neck. "Your shirt's drenched." he said, smiling softly.

"Oh yes, I wasn't aware of that." Kenma muttered.

Kuroo's face lit up in a grin. "Who would've guessed."

"Yup."

Kenma took his shirt off quickly, rinsed his hair in the sink (he doesn't know how he managed either), and put on Kuroo's hoodie. 

It was ridiculously huge on him. 

"You…you look cute." Kuroo said, eyes slightly widened.

"Thanks." Kenma's blush extended to his shoulders.

They left and had a concerning amount of beer with their friends. They all thought it tasted like trash, but they did it for, in Oikawa's words, "the plot". The plot of what, god knows. 

"I love you, Kenma." Kuroo slurred, putting his arm around Kenma's shoulders.

"What?" Kenma asked, ready to spontaneously combust.

"I love you. I've loved you for a long time now." Kuroo muttered. 

"You're drunk. I'm drunk. You don't mean that."

"I'm a coward, Kenma. Alcohol gives me the courage to say things I can't say when I'm sober. Do you love me too?" 

"I love you so much, Kuroo Tetsuro."

"Good."

And then Kuroo kissed him. 

Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Bokuto, and Akaashi cheered in the background, but they barely noticed them.

This was their moment.

"Wanna get out of here?" Kuroo asked against Kenma's lips.

"Desperately." 

They booked a cab and went back to Kenma's house, where they made out a bit more and Kenma beat Kuroo at Mario Kart more than Kuroo would ever admit. 

He didn't mind losing to Kenma, though.

[intheholler]

My mom had a strong Appalachian accent but when my dad moved down south from New York and married her, he’d constantly correct her pronunciation, and constantly correct mine once I was born and learned to speak from her since she was a stay at home mom. and so by the time i went to college i’d cut down on my accent. but people would still notice, and then one day i was working in a store and a woman with a strong accent came in and when we got to talking I told her my hometown, and she like…. Almost didn’t believe me. She was like “you don’t SOUND like you’re from there” and I just like. Sort of babbled that I’d moved for college so it’d been three years and my dad was from New York so I kind of sounded like him, but she was very clearly weirded out by it and we had to play like six degrees of kevin bacon and find out that my mom’s cousin went to high school with her before she like. believed me when I told her where I was born?? And the second she left, my coworker turned to me and said, “I can’t believe she doesn’t think you have an accent! You sound like SUCH a hillbilly!” and i was like oh good. 🙃 the worst of both worlds. not enough of an accent to fit in with people from my town. enough to not fit in with people from cities.

first, that customer kinda fuckin sucks. who does she think she is lmao

second, it's the worst when parents train you out of it, since it's not just a part of who you are, but technically a part of who they (the appalachian parent) are too. my mama had the accent baaaad, but she was the one who gently warned me (in that very same accent) that people was gonna think i was stupid if i kept talkin like that. now i wonder how common that is?

third... you raise a big talkin point (no pun--well... tiny pun--intended) that we haven't really explored too much here--code switchin so hard you can't figure out where you fit.

i never really thought about this, and i resonate with it. when i was away from home and went back, the accent would naturally seep back in despite my best efforts, but they'd all still comment that i didnt sound like i was "from here." and then i go outside the mountains again and it's "oh you poor thing, bet ur so glad u got out of the south"

like which one is it.

i guess it's obvious that when you're forced to scrub clean indicators of your identity, you lose a big sense of it. but still. jesus. random crisis of identity at the store is not how we should have to go about things lmao ugh. we should just get to keep what is ours and it's a shame so many of us couldn't.

thanks for sharing your experience, because it's given me even more to think about. <3 sorry you had to endure that.. conversation

editing bc hold the damn phone, i glossed over something...

"but when my dad moved down south from New York and married her, he’d constantly correct her pronunciation"

he did WHAT. dude i'm so mad LMAO where do people get off thinkin this is okay. i'm actually so annoyed rn

[messenger-of-stupidity]

NAH NAH NAH

Okay. Let's go through the thoughts of this latest update. There's a lot so buckle up buttercup.

1. Kravitas is literally so based. He's willing to spare Albus the suffering of long travel just because he's bored when typically he would enjoy Albus suffering.

2. Only Albus would risk insanity to spite a demon. Ever heard of cutting off your nose to spite your face, Albus? Seriously, these dude shot himself out of a fucking canon to stop Devlin from touching this hella cursed sword, but in typical Albus fashion when it's his safety and emotional welfare at stake common sense flies out the gods be damned window.

4. Is Kravitas really a demon or was his statement last episode about being more than that the truth that Albus just chose to call bullshit on?

5. Kerano, sweetie, if you don't like the sweater you don't gotta be nice to me and lie. Tis okay

6. Dad is back with his video of a casual demon attack. A normal Thursday. You'd think violence could slow enough for Faithful to get some groceries but I guess not.

7. AN ADULT TALK? EXCUSE ME? also yes now shoo child.

8. Guess I'll just go in a bunker and braid some hair or some shit. Whatever.

9. Don't you love it when the father figure of your child is so obsessed with transformers that he turns into a robot? (Yes I know he didn't turn into a robot. It just sounded kind of robotic in my head and it was funny.

10. What's the song called? It was kind of a vibe.

11. Oh my God we're raising a menace, thief, AND a liar. Where did we go wrong? 😭 Also can Faithful read minds? She was able to hear Kerano's mind about a key or something before Kerano had it, and was able to read the thoughts after that.

12. Move aside, Faithful is coming through like a badass. Hold the child

13. Oh neat. Both Albus and I have yelling voices in our head. 🥲

14. "I AM THE GREATEST GOOD YOURE EVER GONNA GET" - Faithful 2023

15. IS HE CUTTING OFF HIS HAND?! KERANO LOOK AWAY

16. Are... Are you seriously gonna make me choose between my two husbands right now? WHERES MY POLY OPTION? (Albus and Devlin in strictly familial relationship with each other. No condoning incest here)

-Branch-

Albus Route:

- yeah u tell him Devlin! How dare he try to reject us after saying it was our choice. Bitch

- UH I UH UHM ER

- daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry

- HOW MANY ROUNDS? Albus let her BREATHE before you fuck her to death omg

- I thought we became a bio mom to half demon children. But nah turns out we became a slutty saint

- YOOOO another thing in common with Albus! We both don't like kids. For different reasons but the point still remains

- Awww. He misses Devlin.

- Kerano is wholesome but I ain't forgiving her for snatching that key

- wait does anyone remember when he said he wouldnt tap faithful with a ten foot pole? Does that mean he tapped her with an eleven foot pole to stay true to his word?

- Devlin Route -

- that's what your brother said to me in an alternate reality when I chose him too.

- Albus back with the orgies. My angsty brain McThinks it's some copium since that's his whole "nothing hurts me!" Mask

- "HES A ROCKIN SPACE AGE BACHELOR MAN" I hope he gets his dream of being a monsterfucker

- Faithful got that holy rizz sheeeeeeesh

- astrology 🥰

- wait nevermind. Just some brotherly love

- you can call me darling any day of the week baby. I am living for it.

- Awww starry kiss. 🥹

Update: I keep forgetting there's a high chance that GBA will see this... BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?! I STAND BY WHAT I SAID (/lh) 😤😤😤

Update #2: for those asking about the third route thoughts, that's a secret that I'm saving for a fic.

[adventuresasmrsfindley]

Last day of 2022. What a year 😅 it's taken me a while but I think I'm ready to share what we've been up to! Buckle up.

So y'all know for the last year at least, really the last 2, my husband has wanted to move. He has lived in the KC metro area for his entire life. I have been here for 16 years. It's home. It's where we met and fell and love. Where we got married. Where we became a family of 3. I love it here, but he was not fulfilled. He wanted a slower paced life. To raise our son in a smaller school district. To live where there is land to roam (I think you all know he is PASSIONATE about deer hunting). We talked about it endlessly. For a good year, it led to a fight every time. I didn't want to go. I didn't see anything wrong with the life we were living or the place we were raising our son. But as time went on, I did start to see the benefits. I found myself daydreaming about the life we could build in a smaller town. The adventures we would go on, just the 3 of us. Looking back, I really don't know if I got there on my own or if I was just so tired of the conversation that I would do anything to make it stop. That's something that will take some more time to process. Either way, around August or September I agreed to pack up our life and give it a shot.

We worked on our house for maybe a month. Got it ready to list, and by Cole's birthday (first weekend in October) we were under contract. We had talked extensively about our options and decided to live with Cole's mom for 6 months to a year to save more money and explore the area to decide where exactly we wanted to put our roots down. It sounded great in theory, but boyyyyyyy was it not. Almost immediately after packing up our life and flipping it upside down, I knew we had made a big mistake. I hated the town. I hated being away from all of the friends we've made, my parents. We did not feel welcome where we were despite many conversations prior to moving and his mom being the one to offer up her home to us. Tensions were extremely high. Cole took a week off and then started at his new job in that area and again, almost immediately, he realized what a terrible fit it was. Everything started spiraling and it was a very miserable 6 weeks. And I know what you're thinking. How can you know in such a short time that it wasn't going to work out. But we just knew. All the things that we took for granted in our "old" life, we started to miss terribly. We talked and talked and talked and talked. There were a LOT of tears on my part. But ultimately we decided to come back home.

Now, that wasn't an easy thing to do since we had sold our house 😂 so again, we talked and talked about what our options were. We decided to move into a rental to get back here but give us some time to think about what it really was we wanted in a home. We packed up everything (again) and flipped our life upside down (again). And it sucked. Despite never really making us feel at home, Cole's mom was very hurt (?) that we were moving back. She's all alone in the town where she lives (a place she moved a year before we ever talked about joining her, mind you) and I guess we just really let her down by leaving her up there alone again. Things are...not good at all with us right now. We have barely talked to her since we moved back. I'm hoping with time we can all process the whirlwind that the last 2 months was and have a conversation and get back to where we were. But I guess only time will tell.

So fast forward to about 3 weeks ago, we are in a rental back in the KC metro. Cole still has dreams of getting out of the suburb life. He wants room to roam, and room for Knox to roam. And I get that. And I support it. And basically as soon as we get into this damn rental house, a spot like that in our price range comes for sale. And we are like.....should we? And ya know what, 2022 was clearly the year of fuck it. If we want something, we have to go after it. Even if it's hard. Even if it's messy. So we go and see the property and we fall in love. It's close enough to city conveniences for me. But far enough that it feels like the country for Cole. It's a modest home, but the perfect property. There's space. There's a shop in the back which is something Cole has wanted for a longgggg time. Sooo we offer on it (below asking! We really got the best of the sale and purchase side this time around) and they accept!

At this point I know we are absolutely insane. We will pack up (again) at the end of January and move (again) into what I can really see being our long term home. I've realized over the last few months there probably isn't a "forever home" for us. We like change. We are impulsive. So I'm sure there will come a day when this home we are about to move into will not serve us. But I think that day is a long way off. I'm so excited to watch my boy grow up playing in the big yard. Riding our 4wheeler around. Hanging out in the shop with my guys. House projects with my husband (and my parents, let's be honest. They're really good at that stuff). Mostly, I'm ready to get somewhere and stay there. It has been a HARD couple of months. But I am so proud of the way Cole and I have communicated through it all. We have grown endlessly in our marriage and I don't feel like those young kids who got married anymore. I feel like we are in a mature, loving and supportive marriage and for that I am so grateful.

I'm posting a few drone pics of our new place below. Don't be weird and go google image it or something to find out where I live 😂

I hope that 2023 brings us.... calm. And I hope the same for all of you! ❤️

[timechange]

MCFLY JULY ‘24 — rite of passage.

MAY 26, 2012

“I don’t like this.”

Emmett looks up at the formidable barn at the back of his aunt and uncle’s house, hugging himself in spite of the heat.

“C’mon, Emmy,” Ellie says, tossing him a brave grin over her shoulder, motioning him forward. “Haven’t you ever wondered what’s inside?”

“…No…”

“Not once? In your whole entire life?”

“Well…” Emmett looks back at the farmhouse, lit up, with all their family and friends laughing and talking inside. “Yeah, but… Uncle Doc doesn’t want us going in. I think we should listen, don’t you?”

“Look, would I let you get in trouble?” Ellie asks, cocking her head.

“…No?…”

“Then I say, as the oldest—“

“By seven minutes thirty eight seconds!” Emmett protests.

“As the oldest,” Ellie continues, undaunted. “It’s our party— kinda— and we should do what we want. Within reason. Y’know. Nothing too wild ‘n’ crazy like hotwiring Julie’s new car or whatever. Although—“

“Ellie!” Emmett interrupts. “Come on. If we’re gonna do this, let’s just—”

“And where do you two think you’re going?”

“Mom!”

Jennifer Parker-McFly leans nonchalantly against the barn doors, arms crossed, eyebrow raised, giving her children a wry smile in the moonlight.

“We were just—”

“I think I can guess what you were just, Elizabeth Lorraine,” Jennifer teases, pushing herself off the barn door and immediately ruffling both their hair and kissing their foreheads. “Come on. Let’s go back inside.”

“But Mom, we’re not babies anymore!” Ellie continues to protest. “We’re fourteen!”

“Yeah, but you’re always gonna be our babies,” Marty replies, opening the barn door and swiftly locking it behind him. He winds an arm around both his kids’ shoulders and begins to guide them away. “Mom’s right. The party’s really losin’ steam without the stars of the show.”

“Dad, is what’s in there really that bad?” Emmett asks.

“No, of course it’s not bad. You think your uncle would do anything to hurt you?” Marty returns, a little more forcefully than is strictly necessary. He sighs, voice gentler. “Sorry. You guys just… aren’t ready for that yet. Okay?”

“In a couple years you’ll get your licenses,” Jennifer agrees. “Then he’ll tell you everything. Promise.”

AUGUST 5, 2014

Ellie slams her temporary paper license down on the table with a little more force than is strictly necessary. She gives a fiery yet playful glare in @doctorbrown ‘s direction.

“Okay, Uncle Emmett,” she tells him, in no uncertain terms. “I’m here to make good on Mom and Dad’s deal. Emmy got his license three weeks ago—“

“What’d I do?” Emmett pipes up from the other room, taking off one of his headphones to better listen to his sister.

“—I just got mine. Now you gotta tell us. What the hell is in that damn barn?!” Ellie runs her hands through her hair, beginning to pace around the kitchen. “I was hoping it'd be a motorcycle or something, ‘specially ‘cause you built Dad that kickass amplifier for his sixteenth birthday, but if it was you would’ve done that back in May—“

“Ellie, cool it,” the younger Emmett encourages.

“I can’t! That stupid thing has been taunting me for years!” Ellie looks to the elder Emmett, brown eyes suddenly doe-like and wide. “I’ve been wanting to break in so bad since middle school, Uncle Doc, but I didn’t. At least tell me ‘cause I’m your favorite twin.”

“Hey!” her brother yelps.

[jhilsara]

Part 5 please??

Since you asked *v*

The next month (JULY) goes by and it is filled with unruly sexual tension between Sam and MC.

Damien can hear it all in both of their heads to and wants to slam himself against the wall because of it.

They awkwardly are dancing around their feelings and avoiding taking about it.

MC doesn’t want to push Sam into something and she sure as hell doesn’t know how relationships work for Incubi… or if they even do relationships.

Honestly, she still doesn’t know much about them, well except for the notes on magic and demon creatures her grandfather left. Which, while somewhat helpful, is not comparable to just asking them…

She’s reading over the book in his study when James comes in.

“Oh sorry, didn’t know you were in here today.” He apologizes “No, it’s fine.” She slams her grandfathers’ books closed and pushes it away from her in frustration. James quirks a brow. “Doesn’t look fine.” She wants to pull her hair out, “It’s not you it’s grandpa’s journals and short hand magic. I can’t really decipher a lick of it.” “Want me to look at it?” He asks grabbing his own book of log information for the company. “Sure. Knock yourself out. I need a brain break.” She hands it over to him. “You want me to translate it to something legible?” James asks “You don’t need to! I’d appreciate it but you have a lot on your plate.” “It’s fine. I can read your grandfathers short hand quite well now. He used it too in his work notes.” James “Thanks James.” “Could you do me a favor? This will take a little bit of time; can you handle dinner tonight?” James “Absolutely!”

She cooks dinner with Matthew that night. So, she has a pair of extra hands and also Matthew likes to be helpful… or nosey in this case.

“Sooooooo…” Matthew draws out while he’s chopping veggies. “yes?” She laughs “You and Sam have gotten pretty close huh?” He prods She raises a brow at him, “Um, I guess? Not any closer than I am with you all though.” She responds Matthew laughs, “So you’d let any of us take a nap with you all cuddled up?” Her face goes red and she whips around to him. “Not cute Matthew.” “I’m just asking if you and Sam are a thing yet!” he shrugs with a shit eating grin She groans, “We’re not anything Matthew.” She lets out a sigh and grabs a kitchen towel to whip down the counter. “We haven’t even talked about it okay?” Matthew raises a brow at her, his smiling fading, “Wait, like, you and Sam just were really close almost intimate the whole vacation and nothing? Not even a conversation.” She wants to scream. “Wow, I mean I knew Sam was emotionally constipated but damn.” “That’s what I mean! I’ve tried to approach him twice and he’s run for the hills. I mean…” she fidgets with her hands. “Do demons even get into relationships?” Matthew shifts his eyes, “Well, I mean… yes we do. But uh, none of us really have great examples to pick from when it comes to examining a healthy loving relationship.” Now it’s her to turn to be curious. “Erik vaguely mentioned once your dad was a real monster… What did that mean?” Matthew groans and tries to focus on cooking while answering, “He’s awful. Like your dad sucks don’t get me wrong but our dad… he’s killed people and started wars and I’m not exaggerating.” A shiver runs down her spine. “And your mom?” “More like moms, plural. We all have a different mom… James mom was the first one, the first wife. But our dad, the Demon Lord, it wasn’t enough. Then he married Erik’s mom and rinse and repeat. Except Damien’s mother… he never married her, he’s a bastard son…” Matthew’s gripping the knife hard in his hand, not moving to cut veggies anymore. “Matthew you don’t have to talk about it-” she tries to stop him. “No, it’s- it’s not fine, but we can’t never talk about our old lives.” He sighs before continuing. Shoving the veggies into a pan to cook them. “Our moms did not have good relationships. They wanted power and would get terribly jealous of each other. So much so the Demon Lord finally just took all of our mothers and destroyed their physical forms, turning them into orbs…” he sighs and turns to MC “Anyway, our parents didn’t have great love stories. Most incubi and succubi don’t even believe in love. It’s a human emotion, not one that many of us know…” “Oh.” Her shoulders slump in defeat. Matthew looks up at her face and panics a bit, “Hey it’s not impossible! I didn’t mean to bum you out! I just… I’m just saying we wouldn’t know what love looks or feels like. I wouldn’t say it’s impossible though.” He grabs her arms and makes her look at him. “I’ve seen how Sam looks and interacts towards you. It’s not how he’s ever been. When we were in the Abysall Plains, he was so filled with rage. Always fighting anything and everyone. Even our father. All the time. Since he met you though? That’s a different person.”  “I don’t know if love is real, or if we feel it, but I can tell you he feels something besides rage and it’s because of you.” “Thanks Matthew…” she hugs him tightly.

James gives her his copy of her grandfather’s notes at dinner, well the first 10 pages, and she’s ecstatic.

She takes it upstairs after dinner to immediately start reading them. It makes so much more sense to her now. She’s still confused by how magic works, and if she can even preform it, but it’s better than her trying to decipher her grandfather’s short hand by herself.

She falls asleep reading the notes on her bed. Until she’s rudely awoken. And it’s mega rude.

DIAAAAAAANAAAAAA LET ME BE THE ONE TO LIGHT A FIRE INSIDE THOSE EYES~

Anyway, Diana shows up, and uh very rudely wakes her up. Also she is not trying to play pretend with a human disguise she is full on succubus form and it’s the first one MC has seen since the boys have not reveled theirs yet.

First MC hears an obnoxious giggling but it’s the heat next to her face that wakes her up abruptly.

The notes James had just written for her are all on fire, in purple flames. It surrounds her, only burning the papers, but she can feel the heat.

Before she can scream there is a woman on her bed cover her mouth, and she definitely looks like a demon. She’s covered in purple marks with horns on her head and a thin tail whipping behind her.

MC looks around frantically trying to do something, but the fire and the woman are overwhelming her.

She looks back to the demon in front of her, and she feels the ebbing of enthrallment blend its way into her brain. She doesn’t like this enthrallment.

It makes her feel mush in her brain, like theirs no choice but to look at this woman who is still on top of her.

The demon slowly removes her clawed hand and gets closer to MCs face.

“So, you must be that Warlocks kin, right?” is the first thing this woman says to her. She doesn’t process it at all. “Answer me girl.” She sounds unamused. MC just nods her head, it’s too fuzzy to talk. “Mmmm, I’m going to do you a favor and get rid of these papers for you.” She slowly grabs a page of the notes and watches it fizzle away into ash in her hand. “You should think me before the Angels find out about you.” She looks back to MC and her face in unamused and fierce. “I’m taking those incubi brothers back home where they belong human. I don’t care how long they’ve been here they do not belong in this world. I need them to stop the war their father is going to unleash.” MC tries to break the enthrallment but she stays under the control of the succubus, who is slowly taking her energy and she barely touches her. She grips onto the MCs next, not enough to bruise but tight enough. “Do not tell them you saw me tonight human. I will rip your world apart. All of your friends and loved ones, gone. I’ll make sure your biggest fear becomes real…You’ll be alone, unloved.” The fear in her body rises as she looks at this woman who easily could kill her, and also apparently end her emotional and social life too. “I’ll take them tomorrow so say your goodbyes.” She let’s go of her throat and MC is gasping. As the demon rises she looks at the ashes left on the bed. “I am serious about that magic business you know. If you go digging Angels will come for you… They see everything pretty black and white and pick and choose who can use magic.” She leaves the room with that warning and the enthrallment ends. The room spins before MC passes out.

She wakes up late the next morning feeling like absolute shit. She wracks her brain over the night before coming up empty. Until she brushes the ash off her bed.

She bristles and throws herself off her bed. She doesn’t brush her hair or change out of her pjs and she bolts downstairs.

She bursts into the dining room, out of breath, and all five of the boys are in the middle of breakfast and give her a very confused look.

“You’re up awfully late.” James “Geez we’re not gonna eat all the food!” Matthew “What’s up with you?” Sam Her mind races around a million things, all from the previous night. Until her eyes land on Damien. Damien stares at her trying to decipher her thoughts that are running wild. “She’s here.” Damien panic looks at his brothers who are super confused. “Who’s here Damien?” Erik “That succubus… the one whose hand was promised to one of you.” “Excuse me?” James “…” Sam’s sitting in silent rage, his knuckles are white. His eye flash to MC for a second, his anger increasing. “Did she hurt you?” he asks her, calmly, but the anger lingers behind his words. “Uh, no no, she… I mean she threatened to if I told you guys. I think, I think she also took my energy? It’s kind of fuzzy.” MC “She what?!” Sam shouts and it rocks the room. He takes a deep breath and gets up to look at her. The dark circles under her eyes are bad, she’s also rocking on her feet a little. He grabs her arms to settle her, but he can feel her energy. It’s massively low. “She took a lot. How long was she there?” He asks her. “I uh,” She avoids Sam’s intense gaze for a second, looking at Damien behind him before looking back. “I really don’t know. She showed up in the middle of the night and immediately enthralled me. She caught me off guard by burning the notes on my bed.” She says bitterly. “What the fuck.” Sam bites out. He turns to Damien. “She wants to take us back. Back to the Demon Realm…” Damien looks at his brothers in worry. “She’s crazy if she thinks we’re going back with her!” Matthew “She mentioned… stopping a war...? The Demon Lord?”  she mumbles thinking “That doesn’t involve us.” Erik “Well she certainly thinks it does. She told me she’s ruin my life, make sure I’d be alone.” MC “That’s not gonna happen.” Sam says in determination. She backs up from Sam, taking a few steps to just breath. “That’s real nice guys, but this, this is just a lot to process right now.”  She’s caving in on herself. Erik grabs a chair and lowers her into it. She curls herself in the chair and hugs her knees to her chest.  She feels a little defeated and exhausted from supernatural beings trying to kill her. She overhears the boys talking but isn’t registering what they’re saying. She’s lost in her own thoughts, isolating herself. Someone touches her head, patting down her hair, in a soothing fashion. She locks eyes with Sam. “You’re not alone so don’t push us out okay?” he whispers. She nods, her throat still tight. There’s a disruption in the conversation, a summoning circle appears and up comes the succubus from the night before. The group stands their ground, Sam stands in front of MC with Erik, hopefully blocking her from the Succubus.

There's actually not that much left in my notes. I'm still figuring out Diana and the second game. But I can give you what's left (Which is another scene with Sam that I lowkey love) and maybe what the plan is? I think I need to replay it and take some notes ngl

[death-and-other-myths]

The Queen of Nothing Deadass Book Review

Okay look, this book has everything. Our main character is an unhinged monster. Her husband was raised by a cat or something. There's snakes. GOD DAMN I LOVE THIS BOOK.

This is an unhinged book review of The Queen of Nothing By Holly Black.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

Well the 3rd and final book in this series starts out with a bang, with the prologue painting Cardan’s tragic backstory as a baby taken to meet his father by his shitty, neglectful mom. Baefin, the royal astronomer shows up and decides to ruin everyone’s day by saying, “Hey, the stars say this kid is going to topple your kingdom and you’ll never have another child after him.” — so right out of the gate, everyone hates Cardan. His siblings play with him like a puppy. His Mom is the flakiest asshole. She uses a… cat..?? As a wet nurse?? Like WOW LADY. Both CPS and PETA would like a word with you.

There’s a super sad part when Cardan is older, and Dane is messing with him. They are shooting a walnut off of a mortal’s head, who happens to be Val Moren’s lover. Val Moren was the old High King’s sineschel, and his heart was broken for the rest of his life after his boyfriend got shot with an arrow by these big dumb faerie princes.

Dane offers to switch arrows, so if Cardan messes up and hits the man, everyone will think Dane did it. Cardan says fine, but chickens out when it comes time to shoot. So Dane shoots Cardan’s arrow into the guy’s chest, and tells everyone that Cardan did it. So as punishment, they sent Asha into jail and cultivated Cardan’s reputation of being a heartless asshole. It’s just shit all around. GOD THIS POOR BABY I CAN’T BELIEVE I EVER THOUGHT HE WAS A MONSTER. HE IS THE SWEET, MESSED UP PRODUCT OF HIS AWFUL FAMILY. AUGH.

Meanwhile, in the mortal world…

Jude is watching Oak play war games with the other 5 year olds and he keeps accidentally glamoring them (so he appears invisible until he attacks). When all of his friends leave, she sneaks up on him and you know, almost chokes him out. Like sisters do!

He’s all upset with her and she’s like “I’m just trying to show you that fighting is real, and it’s serious, and it’s not a game!” and he says he never ever wants to be king, which makes this reader happy.

At night, Jude makes money by doing odd jobs for the local faeries. They apparently can live in the mortal world, usually because they’re in hiding or exile or just because they want to. She meets up with one of the Roach’s old friends, who is a goat man that gives her a job to go talk to a lady named Grima Mog and tell her to quit murdering people.

Grima Mog is part of the “Court of Teeth”, and is a warrior who was banished for one reason or another and is causing a scene in the real world. Jude goes over, tells her to cut it out, and Grima Mog challenges her to a duel on the roof. Jude wins, because she is still a savage badass. And in return, Grima Mog tells her the latest hot goss: That King Cardan is going to be overthrown before the next full moon.

Jude is like cool I don’t care about him. Yep. Totally don’t care about that loser who is also my husband. Fuck him. Ima ride the bus home covered in blood. So she does that.

And when she gets home, Heather is there trying to pluck up the courage to see Vivi again. But moreover, TARYN IS THERE in her flowy pretty dress and Jude is like “Get the fuck out.” (still covered in blood by the way).

Taryn explains that she MURDERED LOCKE. Like not even in self defense or anything. He pissed her off and slept around, so she stabbed him with a LETTER OPENER and THREW HIM IN THE OCEAN so his body washed up a few miles downshore all chewed up, and now she has to go to Faerie court and be glamored to tell the truth. So she’s asking Jude if she’ll pose as her and go in her stead.

Jude can’t really resist the opportunity to get back into Faerie land and slap her husband, so she agrees. Also Taryn drops the bomb that she’s pregnant too. So ... damn. I guess being bloodthirsty maniacs runs in this family. Like whoa.

Alright, Jude goes back to Elfhame pretending to be Taryn. She spends a brief night in Locke’s house where she finds drugs just… everywhere. Gold stuff is smeared on the couches and the servants bring her a faerie apple with dinner, which Jude finds hella weird since that stuff is like heroin to humans. She’s starting to realize Taryn isn’t as innocent as she thought. As if the whole “murdering her husband” thing wasn’t her first clue.

She walks into the courtroom and gives a curtsey, and Cardon goes “…Taryn?”

She’s like “Yes m’lord tis I, sweet lil’ innocent Taryn. Look at me all in my pretty little dress being demure and cooperative.”

Cardon smirks and is like “okaaayyyy. Begin the questioning.”

Jude is standing there thinking “Cardon you dumb fuck I’ve tricked you. You’ve played right into the palm of my hand, you treacherous scum.”

And we as the reader realize it’s pretty fucking obvious that he knows its her. And that he looks elated to see her.

He “glamours” her to only be able to tell the truth and asks her if she killed Locke. Jude says no. So Cardon turns to Nicasia and his Mom (who are also there) and is like “Welp, she didn’t do it. Guess we can all go drink and party and forget this ever happened now. Like we did when Valerian died. Remember how no one seemed to care about that?”

But Jude has to take it a step further and be like “I think the sea had something to do with it.”

Nicasia is pissed. “WHY would the sea start shit if we have a treaty with the land? Also Locke was my friend! If anyone killed him it was probably your horrifying sister. She loves murdering people. She does it like, all the time.”

Lady Asha chimes in like “It’s court gossip that Locke was fooling around with both you and your sister. Maybe she killed him to get revenge because she loved him.”

And Jude (as Taryn) says, “My sister only loves one person, and it’s not Locke.”

Cardan is unable to stifle his glee.

“And she wants that person dead.”

Cardan bristles.

Nicasia says they can’t trust anything “Taryn” says because she could be wearing a charm to resist glamour (implying Jude should strip in front of the court). But Jude can’t do that without revealing herself, since she’s all scarred up and Cardan knows every single one of those scars.

Luckily, our boy is on to this so he’s like “How about I personally inspect her for charms in my quarters. Alone. Away from here. This is totally normal, right?” And the court is like “Right!” So they’re walking to his room. And a servant runs into her with a tray, and slips her a knife and is like “Don’t worry miss Taryn. Your father is coming to save you.” And Jude is like What? Shit. What??

But then she’s alone in Cardan’s room and he is immediately like “Oh my god how are you? Did you get my letters? I wrote you every day but you never replied. Hi.”

And Jude is FLABBERGASTED “You knew it was me?!”

“From the second you walked into the room?? You’re my wife? God, you’re cute.”

She’s still pissed at him though for tricking her, which to us is very obvious to us that it was for her own protection, but Jude thinks he’s awful. She shows him the knife someone gave her and for a moment he’s like… wait… shit… is she going to stab me? She kind of likes making him think she will. But she tells him Maddock is up to something, then there’s a huge explosion. And instead of stabbing Cardan, she goes back to her warrior ways like “Stay here!” Even though he’s shouting at her not to.

Jude takes like 2 steps outside the door and gets knocked out with Faerie chloroform by some of Maddock’s knights.

She wakes up in a carriage with Oriana being carted off to Maddock’s stronghold. And everyone is like “Sorry Taryn! It was just easier to get you out of there if you were… you know… unconscious for 3 days.” (Wtf faerie people??)

So now Jude is STUCK pretending to be Taryn in Maddock’s snowy army headquarters near the Court of Teeth territory. She has to hang out and pretend to like Oriana, her prim and boring stepmother, and convince everyone she’s Taryn or Maddock will literally kill her.

During her time in camp, she meets Grimsen the master forge guy, who likes compliments and young girls (which is hella gross). She flirts with him to learn about his magic weapons and learns he’s making a crazy powerful sword for Maddock to use to take Cardan’s crown.

Jude has an awkward conversation with Maddock where he’s like “I never much cared for Jude. God she’s so annoying. You’re cool though.” He also tells her that when he saved her from the palace, half his knights got murdered in the process. He said the doors shrunk and trapped his men inside, then vines came down from the ceiling and strangled them. Only the ones running with her made it out alive and everyone else got savagely choked to death. So like… Cardan is a badass and can still control the land around him. And clearly he does not take kindly to people kidnapping his wife.

Jude decides she needs to run away before anyone catches on to her, and on her way out, she stops to inspect this cave set far away from the camp. In it, she finds THE GHOST who betrayed her like a little fucking asshole just because his buddy Dane got killed. He tells her his whole sad story. That Dane was like, his friend and ally. He even gave Dane his “true name” (which is a big real. If anyone knows a faerie’s true name, they can command them to do anything). And then somehow Locke got his true name from Dane. And was commanding Ghost to do all these terrible things. Then Locke gave him to Maddock. So Jude is like SIIGHHH God damnit okay I’m getting out of here and taking you with me. I just need to get the key from Grimsen.

She goes BACK to camp, where Oriana is waiting for her like a huge dick. And she’s all like “You’re not Taryn, are you?” But thank god she doesn’t rat her out. Jude tells her why she was masquerading as Taryn, which Oriana totally understands (everyone in their family hated Locke) and the only reason she’s here is because Maddock FAERIE CHLOROFORMED HER.

Oriana agrees to write Vivi to come get Jude if Jude agrees to leave and never fucking come back to Faerie. Jude, being a lying liar, is like “yeah! Totes!”

So Jude goes to bed and plans on waking up before dawn and stealing the key from Grimsen to grab the Ghost and run. But she gets a hand thrown over her mouth in her sleep and elbows her assailant hard. Before she can STAB THEM, the Roach is laughing his ass off like “Jude, come on. It’s us.” And I nearly screamed and fell off the treadmill when she realizes that it’s CARDAN who has his hand over her mouth.

YAYYY!!! Cardan needs more screen time. I was so sad when Jude got kidnapped like god damnit. The high king is there in regular-people clothes. No crown. No gold eyeliner. He tells her that he knew where she was because he went to visit Vivi in the human world, which Jude cannot even picture and neither than I.

She’s like “Wtf did he even WEAR?” She tries to picture him sitting on their beat up couch next to Oak’s half eaten Lucky Charms. So apparently Vivi, Taryn, AND HEATHER are waiting for them in the forest. They bullied their way into the rescue operation by refusing to tell the high king where Jude was unless they could come.

Jude, difficult as usual, is like “Neat. You can’t rescue me yet. I need to free the Ghost from his torture cave first.”

Cardan is like “Can you FOR ONCE just let someone RESCUE you without being DIFFICULT?”

She’s like “No. Help me get this key from Grimsen.”

And he says “Okay.” (Whispers: “I love you so much”)

So the Roach, Jude, and Cardan sneak into Grimsen’s forge to get the key. Jude totally doesn’t notice how good Cardan is at sneaking around, nor how good he looks in those pants.

Before they left, the Roach told Cardan he could come on the dangerous mission if he promised to leave if they got discovered. Cardan is like Oh my god FIIIINE why does everyone make me promise thiiiings. Stupid fucking promise magic.

He also made a promise to Jude that if she returned with him to Elfhame, and told him what she needs to tell him, he’ll un-exile her. So Jude is like HOT DAMN YES.

They break into the forge, get the key, and immediately trip a booby trap. Some darts fly out of the wall and Cardan instinctively protects Jude with his cloak that is basically bulletproof. They look at each other as if they’re surprised at this, because they are having a little fight where they can’t figure out who betrayed who, if at all. GOD THESE KIDS ARE SO STUPID I LOVE THEM.

Well the romantic moment gets ruined because the Roach is down with a dart. Cardan carries him and Jude is like “BRB I GOTTA TELL MY SISTERS TO LEAVE or they’ll get caught” (The knights are scrambling now in response to the alarm). Cardan, who is honor-bound to return to Elfhame is like “Fine. Fuck. Fine. Damnit.” And leaves his woman, who totally does NOT go to her sisters, but runs to the cave to get Locke. AND IN THE CAVE, SHE FINDS MADDOCK WAITING FOR HER.

She’s like “When did you figure out it was me?” and he says “Later than I would have liked.” — apparently it was the way she looked at the BOATS on the MAP in his tent that tipped him off, which is kind of a slight to Taryn more than anything lol

Jude refuses to surrender, and knowing all she has is a dagger, she runs off into the snowy woods and does a halfway decent job of defending herself, but ultimately gets stabbed in the stomach. Maddock is kind of surprised at this too, and he even seems like he’s going to spare her life until an ARROW flies out of nowhere and into his chest. Vivi, Taryn, and GRIMA MOG (not Heather) show up and threaten him. So they let him retreat back to his army.

Jude is like “Ya’ll I don’t feel so good.” And collapses, asking Taryn to stitch her side. While she’s on the ground, she remembers that she is a queen and tries to heal herself with the land… however one does that… but it totally works because it heals up enough. And when she stands up there are flowers everywhere, because that’s a fun side effect of being royal.

Maddock said he sent the Ghost after Cardan, so Jude leaves Grima Mog to protect her sisters and rushes off to the palace to stop “Garret” (his real name!) before he can kill Cardon.

She climbs up in the rafters, which is the Ghost’s favorite killing place, and is watching Cardan and everyone below when the Bomb climbs up in the rafters too, and AIMS AT JUDE. Jude realizes that Maddock tricked her, and sent her there to look like SHE is the one trying to kill Cardan. So she dodges the Bomb’s arrow and FALLS straight onto the banquet table.

There’s this cute part where Jude croaks “I lost your cloak.”

And Cardan is like “You’re a fucking filthy mortal liar.” In front of everyone, which stings. Jude thinks he believes she was trying to assassinate him too. We all know it’s cause he’s pissed she keeps putting herself in danger after promising she won’t.

The court is demanding her death, because they love dinner and a show, and Cardan says “DON’T TOUCH HER. That’s my wife.”

Jude passes out. Wakes up in Cardan’s bed with him being super sweet and tending to her. Passes out some more. Wakes up naked and gross so she takes a bath. Sees her sisters, who are super happy she is alive (I love the sisters, even stupid Taryn).

After they leave, Cardan arrives, which is sweet. Then the Bomb shows up with a medical tray, and says to him “you should leave.”

And he’s like “I’m not leaving. This is my room. And she is MY wife!”

Bomb: “I know, you keep telling EVERYONE. But I need to take our her stitches and you probably don’t want to see that.”

Jude goes “Maybe he wants to stay and watch me scream.”

And Cardan says “Maybe I do. Maybe one day you’ll do that for me.” And touches her head and LEAVES. AHHHHHH!!!!!

Jude gets her stitches out. Later, Cardan comes to fetch her because the Living Council wants to talk to her. But they take a detour to the rose garden for these two stupid idiots to work out their issues. Jude is like “I’M STILL PISSED THAT YOU EXILED ME.”

Cardan: “I wrote you letters?? Every day?? The contents of which were BEGGING YOU TO COME HOME. Also? I very explicitly said that you were banished until pardoned by the crown. You are also the crown. You could have pardoned yourself and come back any time you wanted.”

Jude slaps him lol. Smears his cute gold shit he wears around his cheekbones.

SHE IS PISSED. And again. They are so dumb. But I love them.

Cardan explains that he never thought she was capable of breaking? Or being sad? Or being defeated? In his eyes she’s like this immortal warrior demon that he wants to make love to all day. So he thought he was proposing a fun riddle for her to work out. Like Jude would show up any day now like “Hah! Good trick to make Orla think you were an ally. Let’s conquer the world, babe.” — instead Jude fell into a DEEP depression and ate fish sticks for a few months, all the while Cardan’s shitty MOM was keeping his letters from reaching her.

Jude feels embarrassed and foolish and in typical Jude fashion, does not handle this well.

She goes off on a tangent about how she’s not an immortal warrior demon, she’s SCARED all the time. Scared of this world and of powerlessness and of CARDAN. It’s a cute exchange and sweet things are said, but none of which are explicit. Will you idiots shut up and kiss already??? GAWD.

Jude goes and talks to Lady Asha who is languishing in her bed over the trauma of watching HER fall off the rafters. Jude basically hears this woman talk shit about her son who “was difficult to love” and sasses her something fierce, then leaves.

A knight comes and finds Jude and tells her that Nicasia is in the throne room with a bunch of soldiers. When Jude gets there, Cardan is holding her hand and speaking closely with her (OH SNAP) - but nothing weird is going on. They’re just friends and he’s comforting her because MADDOCK SHOT HER MOM WITH SOME KIND OF MAGIC BULLET. And she’s not dead but is in a coma. So Nicasia has to leave and make sure no one tries to unthrone her mom.

Jude puts two and two together that it was the Ghost that probably shot the sea queen. He’s out there running around being all crazy under Maddock’s control. Jude is interrupted from her council meeting by a messenger saying Taryn needs to meet with her immediately in Hallow Hall (which is weird).

So she gets up to leave but Cardan is like “I’ll come too.” and he looks at her so innocently (but also knowing this annoys her) and off they go TOGETHER in a carriage. There, they find Taryn in Balekin’s gross dungeon with the GHOST who she has trapped in a hole. He tells them it was HE who shot Orla, and we also learn the Ghost’s true name (Larkin Gorm Garrett).

The Ghost tries to kill Cardan, but Taryn uses his name to say “Hey, cut it out. You’re free of any previous orders.” and he’s just like “AUGH THANK GOD.” – Jude hands the Ghost aka Garrett over to the Bomb’s custody, and on the carriage ride back, Cardan is being adorable and asking Taryn about the human world. She tells him about slushies and gummy bears. You know, basic human stuff.

Cardan escorts the Ghost to the Bomb, but never comes to bed that night. Which makes Jude sad.

The next day, Randalin bursts in on Jude, and is like “Your dad is such a dick! And he’s being a dick because you’re the queen. Step down and make this easier on all of us.”

And Jude says “No, fuck you.”

And Cardan comes in and in the most elegant, royal way possible, drags his advisor into another room to threaten his life for insulting Jude. It’s very cute.

But Ranndal makes a good point. The lower courts are starting to assemble at the palace because word on the street is that Maddock is going to challenge Cardan to a duel for the crown, and they are either here to show their support or usher in a new king. It’s all very shaky right now.

But in true Faerie fashion, they’re like “Let’s throw a party to celebrate everyone coming into town!”

Jude wears a gold dress with like… battle-esque looking leather shoulder pads and chain-mail lookin accents. She looks like a badass, and this is made even better when Cardan gives a toast at the party that is like “Welcome everyone. To you I offer my honey and wine and to any traitors or oath breakers, I offer you my queen’s hospitality instead. The hospitality of knives.” and everyone is like hahahaha cheers (Jude included)-- meanwhile she’s sipping her cup like “Hah yes it’s true, I will murder you all without batting a eyelash.”

Heather and Vivi are also there with Oak and having a good time considering they have some stupid deal where when they go back to the human world, they’re going to break up and Vivi will erase Heather’s memory. It’s even sadder because Heather seems to be regretting it and Vivi seems to be all about it. Jude is like… when I’m done with this whole “murdering my cat dad before he can murder my king husband” thing, this is next on the list.

OKAY.

OKAY….

So like… after the party…

Jude and Cardan go back to their bedroom, and this is the cutest fucking scene. They start making out and it’s getting super steamy up in there– Cardan picks her up against the wall, and the second she shows any sort of hesitation, he’s like “Okay we don’t have to.” (So sweet) But Jude is like no no, I’m cool. One sec. And she steps into her closet to compose herself, because she hates how inexperienced she is and how he’s an expert.

So this badass bitch gets completely naked, and steps out of the closet just to see the look on his face. Then she kneels and asks if this is what he imagined she’d be like when he thought about her obsessively in Hallow Hall. He’s like um yes. Exactly this. But with more groveling.

“So what did I do?” she asks.

“I imagined you telling me to do with you whatever I liked.” - he says, kind of mortified and scared of her. Like this is such a cute vulnerable moment from him where she has his heart in the palm of her hand. And yay Jude for discovering her sexy self, which like every other personality trait of hers, is also terrifying. Cardan’s into it though. And they have very sexy sex on the floor, which is fucking adorable and sweet and I love it so much, and I also know this means something TERRIBLE is about to happen.

(This was in Chapter 21 by the way!)

In Chapter 22, Maddock finally shows up. He wants to come parlay as per traditional fru fru tradition. The Bomb is like “How about this? How about I shoot him with an arrow?” and Cardan’s like “Nah, I’m not a coward. But I’m not going to duel him either.” – So everyone is just hanging out gathering for this like spectators. Even Vivi, Heather, and Oak who REALLY shouldn’t be there and I’m surprised everyone is okay with this. While they’re getting ready to have the parlay, Jude and Cardan have a little moment.

Before they go out there, Cardan comes out and says that he LOVES HER, and walks away all cool before she can reply, which drives her nuts. Jude realizes she’s loved him for a long time. She loved him before they got married. AUGH so SWEET.

Maddock comes in there like “Duel me. Lookit my big sword made by this master smith. I’ll even let you use it.”

Cardan’s like “I’m not going to fucking duel you, dude. And you better put that fucking sword down in my throne room, kay thanks.”

“Want me to put it down? Okay.” And he DRIVES the sword into the ground, which causes an earthquake so strong it makes the throne cut in half. Like this hundnreddsss year old throne that Cardan’s family has been protecting for generations, just destroyed. God Maddock is an ASSHAT.

Then Maddock starts spewing his shit like “Do you think your people actually care about you? Like your stupid murdered family ever cared about you? The only reason you accepted the crown was because you so desperately wanted to be accepted by your family. Your subjects don’t even like you. My army is super loyal. You suck. DUEL ME OR I KILL THE SEA QUEEN with my magic bullet that moves if I tell it to.”

Cardan has this interesting introspective moment and says “A king is not his crown. You’re right that loyalty or love shouldn’t be forced. But Elfhame shouldn’t be won or lost on a wager, either. You fuckin weird bloodthirsty old man.”

Cardan CRACKS THE BLOOD CROWN IN HALF and is like “The people shouldn’t swear loyalty to a crown. They should support the king they want to support. Your choice is your own.”

And boom, democracy is born in Elfhaim.

The folk are bowing their heads and nodding, totally on board the Cardan train. But then Grimsen interrupts everything by FREAKING OUT about his precious crown and how upset he is that it’s broken.

Jude remembers that everything Grimsen makes is cursed, just as Cardan’s eyes turn black, and the roses over the throne turn black, and his eyes start fucking BLEEDING BLACK and before she knows it, her adoring husband from the night before TURNS INTO A GIANT FUCKING BLACK SNAKE!!!!! *Pterodactyl scream* NNOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Grimsen says “It will poison the land. No true love’s kiss will stop it. No riddle will fix it. Only death.”

Maddock jumps on the opportunity and wants to kill the snake. Jude is like the FUCK you will. Her army seizes Maddock and his little posse. Snake Cardan bites and kills Grimsen, which kind of solidifies that his brain isn’t in there, because Cardan is very much against murdering people. It’s just pure chaos up in the throne room. There’s a cute part where Oak tries to save his mother with a little toy sword. Everyone runs away and the snake gets stabbed a little by Maddock but is okay, and it curls around the throne as Jude is dragged out the room.

Babygirl has herself a much-deserved panic attack. Grima Mog is like “Get a hold of yourself” and Jude says “I fucking will. I’m going to stand up. I’m going to be okay in a minute.” Grima is like “I know you will be.”

I like Grima Mog. I like her even though she’s like a bloodthirsty cannibal. What is it with this book and making me really like murderers?????

Alright so Jude immediately swings into badass bitch mode. Calls the Bomb. Tells her to go get intel on who out there is plotting her assassination and who is vying for the crown. She says not to ask questions. Murder anyone who looks like they’re trying to murder her. The Bomb is like yep. Roger that.  Calls her sister in. Tells Taryn she’s good at decorating things (like Locke’s house of debauchery). Asks her to make up a room to act as a throne room where she can talk to people and be scary and intimidating. Taryn is like yep. On it. She tells Grima Mog she is the new army general, because she doesn’t like the guy Cardan chose.

Jude gets all set up in her makeshift throne room since the real one is currently being guarded by a huge fucking snake. She sees the Living Council in there and starts planning on what to do about Maddock and his stupid fucking army and all of the courts that are currently splintering off trying to figure out who to be loyal to. She calls in Baphen and tells him to consult the stars for a way to cure Cardan. The Living Council is like “we should just kill the snake” and Jude is like “We’re not fucking killing the snake. Focus on Maddock.” So they talk that out and rally the troops.

Eventually the snake gets out lol it gets through the crack in the floor, and then runs around the land for a little bit doing snake stuff.

Wherever it touches rots and turns black. And people have gotten it in their heads that whoever slays the snake gets to be king, so it keeps getting attacked and killing indiscriminately. But eventually, it comes BACK because apparently the throne room is its den now. It curls around the broken throne and it’s snowing in there. The weather outside is also nuts and thunderstormy and hailing.

After her meeting, Jude enters the throne room and tries her hand at talking to the snake. She tries to see if there’s any recognition in its golden eyes, but there doesn’t seem to be. She tries to call on the land to heal him, but nothing happens. There’s a sweet part where she says out loud “Take my crown. Take my power. Take whatever you need, just heal him. Please.” — and even though the land or magic doesn’t answer her, I hope somewhere in there, Cardan heard her.

Okay so the prophecy said… that if Cardan ever came into the crown, the throne and the crown would be destroyed. But the prophecy also said that only if his blood is spilled, would a truly perfect leader emerge. I THINK this means that Jude is eventually going to have to slay the snake.

Jude hangs out in the snowy throne room with the snake for like HOURS until the Bomb comes. The snake has gotten used to Jude’s presence and doesn’t seem to want to attack her, so that’s something. It’s still impossible to tell if Cardan is in there though. I mean it doesn’t react to his name.

Anyway the Bomb says “Hi. I killed a ton of people that were plotting against you. You wanna come out of the snake room now?” And Jude says “Okay.” Just as Grima Mog comes back with word that Maddock wants to talk.

So they move her whole complicated throne set up outside because Jude is livid and doesn’t want these people anywhere near her fucking home and her cursed husband. I don’t know if I mentioned it earlier, but the people from the Court of Teeth are weird. They’re like ice faeries and they have this little girl who is their queen, but she’s just a puppet for her parents who keep her on a literal bridle. When they get there, the bridle is gone, but her skin is all scarred from where it was. And she’s in these horrible chains that look just as painful. Maddock shows up with that lovely family and isn’t wearing any armor.

He’s like “Hey. I never wanted to kill you. I actually quite like you. You wanna strike a deal? I’ll give you this bridle so you can control your snake husband. It was made by Grimsen and gives you complete control over whoever you want to restrain. That way you can remain queen and make sure your snake stops running around rotting the earth and killing anyone who tries to pierce its apparently impervious scales.”

Jude is like “You threw a bunch of men at it and figured out it’s unstoppable, didn’t you? What are you up to?”

“Make Oak marry this tiny icy abused child and you get the bridle.” Maddock says.

AND TO MY SHOCK AND HORROR, Jude is like “Okay.” — well she agrees to accepting the bridle on the terms that the war should be put on hold and it’s better for everyone if there isn’t a deadly toxic snake running around.

She doesn’t agree to the marriage. She agrees to have a bridling… event? Where she is going to attempt to bridle the snake, and if she wins then yay. If she fails and it kills her, then the armies are all gathered and can duke it out. She thinks Maddock is trying to rule through her the way she ruled through Cardan. Oh gosh I hope she’s up to  something and not actually considering putting that thing on the snake. That night, she throws a wadded up paper into the ocean that says “If you ever loved him, help me.”

Jude and the Bomb have a sweet convo and Jude goes to try to help the Roach, who is still poisoned. When Jude sees him, she’s horrified to find that he’s not just sleeping, he’s having like… nightmares. She tries to heal him, but the earth magic won’t come. The Ghost, who is part of the gang again (yay!) tells her not to force it, just let it come. AND IT DOES! The roach is back and confesses his love to the Bomb and it’s fucking adorable.

Jude takes the bridle to that old hag lady that once tried to trick Cardan into marrying her daughter. Now she’s good I guess haha. The hag tells her that if she followed the instructions Lord Nell or whatever his name is gave her, and tied her hair around the bridle, then she would have been bound to the snake as well. Basically, it was a trick that would have trapped both Jude and snake Cardan into servitude. Thank god she found this out.

Jude also visits Heather in the library who is researching snake-themed faerie tales looking for a clue. Heather tells her that she struck a deal with Vivi that when they go back to the human world, her memories will be erased. But Vivi will have to meet her again and win back her love. But do it properly this time and be honest about the faerie shit from the get-go. And if Heather falls in love with her despite that, she’ll get all her memories back. That’s super freaking sweet I love them.

There’s like a banquet before the snake bridling.

And Jude is doing her best to be a badass queen and make speeches, but she’s so nervous. She gets through it though. Her and Nicasia have this super sweet moment (after Kaye, Roiben’s lady punches her) where Nicasia is like “I know you’re a bloodthirsty monster who is only using Cardan for his power, but please save him. I beg of you.”

And Jude actually CRIES with her and says “Tell me the riddle I must solve. Tell me what to slay. What to sacrifice. And it’s done. I’ll do anything to free him. I promise you.” And they just stand there, two enemies, crying together and realizing how much they love this poor cursed snake boi.

Taryn and Vivi find a chest with some badass silver armor made for a woman, so Jude wears that to the big “snake bridling event” that is happening out in the woods somewhere.

The snake is out. Doing it’s thing. Turning the land to shit. The armies are gathered on either side, and everyone is watching Jude and waiting to see what happens. Will she bridle the snake or will she be eaten? It’s growing bigger too, so by now, it could swallow a car.

Jude has some internal monologue… where she actually wonders if bridling him is the right thing to do. She has no idea how to break the curse. This way, Cardan wouldn’t have to die. He’d be trapped as a poisonous snake forever, but at least he’d be by her side. But she also remembers what Cardan said before he got cursed. That no one should be forced to swear their love or allegiance. That’s the kind of thing you should decide for yourself. And she remembers that Cardan said something along the lines of “I was on my way to becoming Balekin. Becoming a monster. If I ever go down that path again, I want it to be you that ends me.” — SO SHE CUTS OFF THE SNAKE’S HEAD.

HE DEAD. There is blood EVERYWHERE.

And the second she does this, fighting breaks out. It’s just a bloodbath all around while Jude is in shock. Maddock’s army gets defeated because Nicasia shows up with the sea. But instead of trying to kill Jude, Maddock comes to help her up.

He tells her “You’ve already won. Look.” And turns her around to the snake where a bright golden light has emerged. And out of it steps naked-ass Cardan covered in blood and looking regal as hell.

“Only when his blood is shed will a great ruler emerge”

BOOM. He calls for the fighting to end and Jude runs and hugs him. They hang on to each other and it’s so sweet. THE BEST REUNION.

Someone literally is like “Welcome back, King! Here, you want this cloak?”

And Cardan goes “Nah. I haven’t worn clothes in days.”

And literally rides buck ass naked in the carriage, covered in blood. HAH. Like. Yeah nudity is a thing in Faerie world but alrighty. Here we go. Cardan is back and he’s not messing around.

Everybody gets a bath. The general mood is SO HAPPY and celebratory. There’s a big ole banquet where Cardan and Jude slip away to the pretty glowing mushroom room behind the throne (which he fixed with his magic and split into 2 chairs). They finally have a moment alone, and Jude blurts out “I love you.”

He’s like “You don’t have to say that out of pity.” — which breaks my heart. That he STILL thinks she hates him so much that she seriously never will love him. And he’s CONTENT with just being with her even if it’s just for power.

But Jude launches into this awesome, fumbling speech about how she liked him ever since they went out together during the revelrie, and he helped her learn about each court and how to win them over. She says being around him is fun. And walks through their whole history together to help him understand that despite her being a cold, unfeeling monster, she loves him to pieces.

And they kiss. And it’s fucking adorable.

Jude also asks him what it was like being a snake and he says it was hella weird. He definitely had an animal brain. And was filled with fear and strife and a feral instinct to kill indiscriminately. But he says, he knew Jude. That’s why he was calm when she came and sat with him. He always knew her. (Awww!!!)

The next day they have a formal coronation. Apparently 2 people have never ruled together. It’s always a king or queen who has a bunch of consorts. But they get the ceremony where the court gets asked if they accept their king and queen, and everyone says yes because Cardan is awesome and Jude is scary. But they like scary. Then they get to give out BOONS to all of the people that were loyal or traitorous.

Grima Mog gets to keep the earth-shattering sword and continue to be general. Taryn gets cleared of all charges even though she totally fucking murdered her husband. The ice princess with the bridle scars gets freed and her parents get put in her custody. And she gives a creepy shark-toothed grin that makes Jude think maybe her parents were keeping her in chains for a reason. But that’s their problem!

Maddock gets brought in and Jude sentences him to live in the mortal world for the rest of his days, and to forget the name he knows (she’s talking about the Ghost’s name). I like that her and Maddock totally come to this agreement. He’s like “Yeah, okay I lost. You’re absolutely a badass. I hate losing but I’m also pretty proud”. I think he was really sad when he thought he killed her. So this is a better punishment than getting executed for sure. Oriana decides to go with him and Oak is excited because he loves the mortal world and now his parents are going to live there too. YAY!

I love how this book ends. It ends with Jude and Cardan flying home with Vivi and Oak to the real world. And they find Cardan some normal clothes (a tshirt over his black pants) and they have a cute little party at Vivi’s apartment.

Heather is there and puts up a sign that is like “Congrats Newlyweds!” And says “Vivi has told me some wild things about ya’ll!” Jude just hugs her. They also got them a cake with little gummy snakes sprinkled on it. And Oak takes them to pick up pizza.

Heather also got everyone paper crowns, and there’s this cute part where Cardan tilts his paper crown at an angle, like he used to wear the Blood Crown and it makes Jude laugh. The book ends with them toasting to a new future, and pizza, and friends, and Cardan says “To scheming great schemes.”

I love that this is where we leave them. In casual real world clothes wearing paper crowns and eating gummy snakes.

Boy, I loved this book. I love the world building. I love the slow burn romance. The sexy times. I love that Holly Black makes me like and cheer for this cold hard bitch Jude. I love that Cardan, who at one time was SO NOT LIKEABLE it was CRAZY became one of my favorite characters in fiction.

I loved when that heel turn happened, when he was a prisoner of the spies, and was so cute and charming. We all fell in love with him at the same time Jude did.

Then we spent 2 books watching Jude be a complete idiot and be the last one in the world to realize how much he loved her. And how much she loved him. She loved him more than power, which was her single solitary goal this whole time.

This mortal girl overtook a bunch of magical immortals and it was completely believable and fun and baffling. Damn I can see why Holly Black is so highly regarded. That was SO GOOD. I am going to need a few days to digest this.

I just keep thinking of them all happy and celebrating together over pizza and paper crowns. EEEEE!!!

Deadass Rating: 9.5/10

[allycat75]

Sorry, this one is long. But the subject has given much to work with.

Proof People's Sexiest Man Alive 2023 really does hate himself, just from other quotes in the SMA article:

"I feel like I have a bit more freedom to take time away from the industry and still find projects that will satisfy my creative appetite when I return" I am sure based on the phoned in performance from Ghosted and on the reviews of Pain Hustlers, it sounds like you must be starving.

"My mom will be so happy," he says. "She's proud of everything I do but this is something she can really brag about". How she feelin' about that incel group also being proud of you?

Of Boston "We've got a lot of good schools. Let's give education a plug, that's damn sexy." I have read the few interviews your "beloved" has given and never before have I read so much and someone said so little. But hey, eyebrows are sexy, too. You can probably talk about that.

 "I love the idea of tradition and ceremony, I had a lot of that in my life so the idea of creating that, I can't think of anything better." So I guess some new traditions are never being seen with your one and only without it being breadcrumbed and/or trolled, surrounded by a bunch of people, staged and scripted, all while you look miserable. Oh, and also talking about how you like to be alone and your dog is your soulmate.

Values most in a partner is "vulnerability and humility." I am sure your acting teaching family is thrilled she feels she is such a great actress that she doesn't need classes or coaching.

"I don't like to argue, I don't like to raise my voice, or any forms of manipulation," Yep, I know the feeling Christopher.

"It's wise and mature to be able to say "I'm sorry I made a mistake,' to be vulnerable and not always be looking for the argument or take things to an argumentative place. That takes a lot of maturity and I find that very sexy." I am sure that was the exact thought process when your baby posted her shower pic to deflect from the criticism she was getting for her problematic behavior. And did we miss the "sorry"? But only if it is accompanied by behavior change. Otherwise, it is just one of those pesky manipulations none of us likes.

 "I love love". And that is why you feel comfortable taking a big dump on it with this disaster. If you are faking it, you have made love a joke, but if by chance it is real, you have shown yourself to be the absolute worst partner ever.

"The tough questions, you know what I mean? I [asked] a lot of tough questions as a kid," he explains. "'God made everything everything?' 'Is the color red to you the same as the color red to me?' I was a high strung kid and emotional so I'm anticipating those questions to be loaded with a lot of anxiety. And I think [as a parent] not only can you give a good answer to the specific question, but the tools to navigate tough questions like that." I'll just let the reader mull this one over, but I am curious to know the possible answer if asked "Dad, what do I do if I am forced to fake marry someone who represents the exact opposite of everything I have claimed to want in a partner? It will require me to use my family and friends in dumb schemes and stunts that will distract them from their daily lives and make thousands of innocent people look and feel crazy. It may even cause me to compromise my integrity and core beliefs by aligning me with those who represent the most base of our society."

But in all seriousness, there are some huge red flags here and this is unsustainable for a normal, happy life. Please study the lessons of this disaster, because the real tragedy of this mistake would be to just move on. Get help from professionals and seek to understand patterns that you keep falling into. I find the ABC method works well:

Good luck!

[house-of-slayterr]

Blink Twice if You Need Help:

@myers-meadow-selfship

Otis’s POV:

I woke up today already in a shit mood. There was so much to get done and not nearly enough time to do it all. And of course, Baby was no help. She had Mama wrapped around her little finger and never had to lift said fingers to help. I grumbled under my breath as I greeted them in the kitchen.

“Somebodies grumpy” she commented.

I glared at her, taking the cap off the milk and taking a sip. She scrunched her nose.

“You know other people use that.” Mama commented.

“I bought the damn milk Mama, I’m gonna drink it!” I snapped.

She raised a brow at me, rolling up the frilly sleeve of her frufru dress robe. It looked so out of place in our run down piece of shit house. But that’s just how she was, extravagant beyond our means. And who was I to crush mothers happiness. I sighed.

“You look nice today Mama.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere boy, use a glass next time.”

“Yes Ma.”

“Good. Spaulding needs some help down at the store today, Baby and I will handle the house.”

I gave her a curt nod, pulling a glass from the cabinet and pouring the milk. I grabbed a banana from the counter and made my way out of the kitchen. I new better than to think they’d actually get anything done here. I could clean up later. I used my keys to unlock the back door of the store and make my way inside.

“Well look what the cat dragged in.” Spaulding commented. “You look worse than roadkill Otis.”

I growled.

“Says the clown.” I spat back.

He just grinned that stupid grin he always had.

“The house is a nightmare.” I explained.

“Baby getting into her arts and crafts projects again?” He asked.

“If by arts and crafts you mean leaving half ass projects on every surface in the house, then yes.”

He cackled.

“I swear that girl needs something to channel her energy, she’s like an over active chihuahua.”

I chuckled.

“Damn ankle biters. You think we’ll get any guest today?”

He shrugged. Absentmindedly adjusting things in our little gas station, gift shop combo. It was a studious business venture really, but the little trinkets made Mama happy, so we sold em anyway.

“I hope so, this town is dryer then your moms vagina.”

I rolled my eyes. He talked a lot of shit for a man that slept in her bed every night.

“Yet you stay.” I commented.

“That I do Boy, that I do…”

The first few hours of the day were entirely uneventful. Ain’t shit ever happen in this desolate town. But as luck would happen, some van finally pulled into the gas station.

“Look alive boy, we got us some tourist.” He smirked.

I watched as he walked outside, greeting the driver. In our state it’s illegal for customers to pump their own gas. Dumb as shit law of you ask me. But I guess it makes sense, these shit for brains hippies couldn’t work their way through a corn maze with a map. Probably didn’t even know how to use the damn pump. I laughed to myself.

The guy looked pretty average, some sort of jock type. Wearing tight shirts to show off his muscles, and I couldn’t decide if it was a scare tactic, or a way to get the ladies. Either way I wasn’t impressed. Next hopped out a cute little thing, her blond hair in a messy ponytail and her shorts entirely too short. I watched as she ran her hands along his bicep as he spoke with Spaulding. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, and honestly I didn’t much care. It wouldn’t matter by the end of the day, they wouldn’t be getting back in that van anyways.

I pretended to busy myself with random things, until I heard the bell from the front door chime. Seems Spaulding sent them in for some snacks. There was a shorter boy who looked like a damned greaser from one of those 50’s movies Baby liked to watch. He had enough gel in his hair to drown a baby in. He had his arm wrapped around a brunette, who unlike her other friend, had barely any skin showing. Damn city kids.

And lastly there was some kid with them. Their appearance struck me as odd right away. There hair was wild and unruly, almost as if it had never been brushed. I could see the knots from here. Their clothes were I’ll fitted too, shirt devouring their entire form, and shoes so warn you could see their socks through the little holes. I frowned, but quickly rid myself of the emotion.

I kept quiet behind the desk as they looked around, not really wanting to offer my “help”. Baby was much better at pretending to be friendly. I looked up when something was slammed on the counter in front of me. A six pack of beer and some chips. I looked down at it before meeting his eyes.

“Anything else?” I gritted in disgust.

“Gotta any good smokes?” He asked.

“Yeah… we stock Marlboro or Maverick.”

“I’ll take a pack of the Marlboros.”

I reached under the counter and slapped them down with the same force he had.

“That’ll be $18.50.” I dead panned.

His focus was drawn away from me as his girlfriend placed an ice tea on the counter.

“And the lady’s drink.” He said.

“$20 even.”

He reached into his wallet, and I looked past him through the window to see how things were going with Spaulding.

“We’re you folks headed?” I attempted to make casual conversation.

It was the girl who answered.

“It’s spring break, we’re headed further south to the beaches.” She explained.

I hummed, not really interested.

“It’s getting quite late, you don’t want to be caught on the roads out here this late. Some sketchy people hanging around.” I freihned a warning.

“Suppose we could rest for the night, what do you think babe? I think Mikey’s getting tired of driving anyway, we’ve been cramped in that stupid van all day.”

The man shrugged.

“Any motels near by?” She asked.

“Just down the road. Cheap rate too.”

“Perfect.” She smiled at me. “Thanks for your help.”

At least she was polite. Couldn’t say the same about her boyfriend. I lazily hummed again. He was about to hand me the $20 but was untrusted once more, this time by the kid. They were gripping tightly to a pack of gummy worms.

“That’ll make it $21.50” I sighed, annoyed that I had to talk to them for longer than I wanted to.

He proceeded to hand me just the $20 and I looked confused. Maybe he didn’t hear me.

“I’m not buying you some damn gummy worms, you got your own money.” He snapped at the kid.

They flinched slightly, shuffling awkwardly on their feet but nodded. I finished out the transaction. He forcefully grabbed the beer off the counter and shoved passed them. His girlfriend more delicately her tea and followed after him. I was surprised she didn’t even seem off-put by his outburst, her bubbly personality not faltering for a second.

“City folk.” I grumbled under my breath.

The kid just kinda stood there for second. Their grip tightened on the plastic and I could hear it crinkle in protest. Their small shoulders were shaking slightly. The wordlessly reached into their pocket and pulled out a few coins. They looked between the bag and their money and sighed, going to put them back. They seemed to notice my staring as they mumbled out a soft,

“Don’t have enough.”

I don’t know why I took pity on them, they looked like a damned drowned rat who just got kicked by their owner. I held out my hand and they looked confused.

“Take the candy.” I said.

They looked shocked, honestly I was a little shocked myself.

“But I don’t have the money to pay you-“

I didn’t budge and they awkwardly shuffled over and dropped the money in my hand.

“It’s only 85 cents, but I guess we’re staying, I think there’s a few coins in the dash if you let me go get them.” They offered.

It was honestly sad.

“Would ya look at that, says her the gummy worms only cost 85 cents now. Guess it’s your lucky day kid.”

That was a fucking lie and I knew it. Probably kill them first so they won’t have to witness the carnage. Poor thing looked miserable.

“Why are you being nice to me?” They asked.

“Guess I’m in a charitable mood today.”

I don’t know why they wouldn’t just take the damn things and go. I watched as they fiddle with their necklace before taking it off and putting it on the counter. I starred down at it.

“It’s not worth much, you could probably get like $5 for it. I don’t want to short you, that’s not right. Thank you for your kindness mister.” They said.

Before I could protest they were already running back outside as the boy from earlier yelled out there name from the door.

“Stop bothering the man and get your ass in the van!” He demanded.

I watched as they drove off, not even giving the kid enough time to sit and close the door first. Spaulding came back in.

“Sent em to the motel.” I explained.

He laughed.

“Stole their tired cap when they weren’t looking, they ain’t getting far anyways.” He said smuggly.

I just shrugged it response.

“What’s got your panties in a twist boy, you’re usually happy about this shit.”

“Nothing, I’m fine.” I lied.

I should be fine, so then, why wasn’t I? I’d killed kids before, younger than them even. So what the fuck was my problem.

“You got your thinking Face on Otis, you know you’re a shit liar right?”

I groaned.

“You should have seen the way they were treating that kid, Spaulding. Something don’t feel right about that.”

“What, gonna give em a lecture while you’re ripping out their spleens?” He joked.

“Oh I’m gonna do a lot more than that, dumb fuck was a prick, treating me like gutter trash. Baby’s gonna have her fun with them, specially that sports boy.”

“Your sister does have a type.” He mused.

After a few minutes of working in silence, he spoke up again.

“Look if it’s really bothering you all that much, why don’t you go talk to your mama?” He sighed.

I shook my head. “We should just put the poor thing out of its misery. They damn near cried cause I gave them some gummy worms. I don’t think they’re feeding that thing.”

Of course he noticed my attempt to dehumanise them. Not like I needed to. Humans were disgusting by nature. Watching them beg for their worthless lives was always funny. People did desperate shit when they felt out of control.

“Whatever you say.”

“Imma go warn Mama about our new guests.” I grumbled.

Baby was the first to greet me back at the house. She was practically jumping up and down.

“Is it true? We got new friends to play with?” She asked.

I cracked a smile.

“Yeah, nasty little shits too. You wanna show em some southern hospitality?”

Mama came from around the corner, sipping some wine still in her robe. As expected, nothing got done while I was at the gas station.

“Been pretty quiet around here. Baby why don’t you head on down to the motel and offer them a home cook meal? Nothing open at this hour.”

She adjusted her top, showing off more cleavage and I cringed. I mean hey, it worked to lure in those dumb fucks, but she was still my sister. Can’t blame me for hating it. The men who ogled her were disgusting low lives. I rolled my eyes at her.

“You seem down, what’s wrong child?” Mama asked.

“I’m not a fan of our new guests.”

“You never are.” She laughed, “want to help your mama in the kitchen?” She offered.

And of course I could never say no to her. We slipped a special ingredient in the stew. They’d be out like a light before they new it, idiots wouldn’t even know what hit them. I wasn’t shocked when Baby came back half an hour later with the tourists trailing her. They never could resist her charms, if there’s one thing about Baby, she’s persistent. She could actually get shit done when she put her mind to it. Even if she did get a little distracted sometimes.

“Your home is… lovely.” The nicer girl from earlier complimented.

“Thank you sugar, where you folks from?” Mama attempted conversion.

“Way up in Michigan.” The jock spoke.

His voice wasn’t nearly as grating as his I’ll mannered friends.

“Couch told me they had good beaches down south, figured we’d have one final hurrah before collage.” He explained.

“Bet you’re pretty good at surfing” Baby attempted to flirt, and I had to hold back a chuckle when the blonde girl glared at her.

“Actually I’m awful at it, foot ball players aren’t really known for our good balance. One to many concussions I guess.”

Baby giggled at his joke.

“Sorry there ain’t much to do in this town, round her thinks close down at about five. But don’t worry, Mama makes the best food this side of Texas.”

“Great, I’m starving.” The greaser said.

The kid from earlier stayed behind them, not really joining in on the conversation. Spaulding was probably breaking into their motel room as we spoke, stealing their fancy shit so we could pawn it off. Not like a corpse would be needing it anyway. We all sat down for dinner, but the kid stayed near the door.

“We’ll come on in and sit sugar cube, we don’t bite.” Mama said.

It was odd how they waited for permission, the context was already there. They sat down next to Baby who smiled wildly at them. Obviously we didn’t put the sedative in our bowls, but I was hesitant when Mama placed the stew in front of them.

“This is amazing! You made this yourself?” The bubbly girl asked.

“My Son helped, he’s good to his Mama.” Mom praised.

The thing about Mama is she loved to brag about us. And I couldn’t lie it made me feel proud. Not that I wanted to look good to these worthless shits anyways, but the recognition of my hard work was still nice.

“My Nan used to make stuff like this all the time, she’s from down in New Orleans. She used to tell me food was the way to a man’s heart. Guess she was right.” She smiled at her boyfriend, looking at him expectedly.

“Your cookings decent.” He said flatly.

What kind of dick couldn’t even be nice to his own damn girl? Baby could have the jock, but he was all mine. She frowned for a moment, but shook it off.

“Maybe I could bother you for a recipe.” She hummed.

“Sure thing sugar.”

I was more than glad when the medicine started taking effect and the conversions slowed down. The jock was the first to fall, his face slamming into the stew. The blondes eyes widened as she starred at her boyfriend in horror. Everyone’s eyes were on him.

“What the fuck did you do?” The greaser spat.

Mama didn’t take to kindly to his tone, and frankly, neither did I. He and his girlfriend attempted to get up from the table, but I placed my hand firmly on his shoulder and shoved him back down.

“You sit your ass down.” I growled.

His girlfriend was the next to pass out, almost falling out of her chair. The blonde was in total panic mode, just saying “what the fuck?!” On repeat. Baby clamped a napkin over her mouth, cutting off her oxygen until she passed out.

“Get your hands off me!” He glared. “What the fuck is wrong with you people?”

You people… I hated when people called us that.

“Your mama ain’t teach you now respect boy.” I commented.

I looked across the table to see the kid still struggling to stay awake. They made eye contact with me, and for a moment I felt my heart stop. They didn’t look scared, or nervous, or even upset like I expected. They had a look of acceptance in their eyes, like they were ready to die. It made me sick.

“This is your fault you little shit!” He growled at them.

Their eyes widened slightly. How could he possibly blame this on them? They had nothing to do with this.

“You probably pissed off this freak back at the gas station. You can’t do anything right!”

They were shaking now. And I had enough. I hit him over the back of his head with my beer, knocking him out cold. I guess Baby and I were on the same Page, cause she quickly turned her attention to them. She placed a gentle hand on their shoulder.

“It’s ok pretty thing, you can stop fightin’ your medicine.” She cooed.

She brushed a lock of mangled hair out of their eyes. They looked up at her.

“But I don’t want to go to bed.”

Their words were slow as the sedative took hold of their brain.

“I’m not tired.” They lied.

“Oh, aren’t you just the most precious thing.” Mama said.

They leaned into Baby’s touch, their head collapsing into her hands as their eyes finally closed. I let out a loud sigh.

“So that’s what’s been botherin’ ya.” Mama said.

“What?” I asked confused.

“I can see it in your eyes Otis. You’re not happy about killing this one.”

I hated that I couldn’t hide from her. But I’d never lie to my Mama, that shit just ain’t right.

“This piece of shit has been treating them like that all day.” I growled, shoving the man off the chair and watching as his body crumpled in a heap on the floor. “Wouldn’t even buy them some damn Candy.”

Mama frowned.

“Is that so?”

I nodded. Mama stood up from her chair, making her way to Baby’s side of the table.

“Give em here.” She said.

Mama knelt down beside their chair, leaning them back on it so they wouldn’t loose balance and fall. I knew what she was doing, inspecting them.

“They’re hairs more matted then a rats nest.” She sighed. “Suppose we could fatten them up a bit too. Poor things frailer than a porcelain doll.”

“They ain’t scared of us.” I stated.

“Seems they aren’t, guess we’re no scarier than that low life.”

“Can we keep em Mama? Can we?!?” Baby asked excitedly.

“It’s another mouth to feed. We’ll have to ask your father.”

“I don’t think he’ll have a problem with it.” I chimed in.

“Otis, be a dear and take them up to Baby’s room. They’re gonna need the rest. I don’t care what you do with the others, just get that ‘thing’” she glared at the man on the floor “out of my Damn house.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Baby looked giddy, well more than usual I guess. Suppose it would be nice to have someone to keep her company so she didn’t bother me so Damn much. Always with her constant questions. I made my way around the table and gave Mama a kiss on the cheek. I turned to Baby.

“You can have the rest, but he’s mine.” I said.

She smiled up at me.

“Oh I can’t wait to see what you do with him Otis! Gonna make him beg for his Mama?” She asked.

“Think I’ve heard enough from him, not like he’ll be needing his tongue when I’m done with him.”

She grinned, that familiar glint of insanity in her eyes.

“Just don’t kill him until I’m done ok, I wanna watch him suffer.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Ahh, nothing like a little torture to bring the family together.” Mama smiled happily. “Just clean up after yourselves ok Kids? And stay off the new rug, Spaulding won’t be happy if we have to replace it again.”

That warning was mostly aimed at Baby. She was Certainly messy with her toys. I turned back to the kid, they didn’t even have a name, and yet here I was feeling protective over them already. Damn thing should be grateful, we don’t take pity on many folk around here. I scooped them up into my arms and was surprised at how light they were. Mama’s assessment was right, they were tiny. Weighed nearly half as much as someone their age should.

I carried them upstairs to Baby’s room and set them down on the bed. I draped a blanket over them before sitting at the edge of the bed.

“Don’t worry kid, they ain’t gonna hurt you no more. No one’s gonna treat you like that again.”

I knew they couldn’t hear me, but it was the sentiment that counts. I heaved myself off the bed and locked the door as I left. Couldn’t risk them waking up and trying to run before I was done with me ‘chores’ for the day. Maybe I’d finally have someone who will help out around the house.

An: Kid is more so used as a term of endearment here. Blinky is about 17 when they first met everyone, Doe eyes comes along about a year later.