#like cool if you liked it! you deserve better!!!

[sanjisleggy]

imagine being loved by me (sanji x reader) [pt2]

PART 1

a/n: here’s part 2 to ‘welcome to cupid island’ :D yippee! lowkey i wanna turn this into a larger series but i have no idea what i'd wanna add lmao but if people are interested in more of this reader x sanji dynamic i’d be happy to consider :3c imma add a poll at the end of this post to see what’s the reception like. anyway pls enjoy! 

also pls send some zoro requests if u have any, ty :3c

contents: some suggestive themes but nothing explicit (16+ only ty!), jealous sanji, very insecure sanji, angst to fluff, hurt/reverse comfort

wc. 2.25k

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i. 

he imagines you would have an amazing life.

he imagines after you accept the proposal, you would be transformed into a beautiful queen, both regaled by your countless servants and beloved by your people. he can practically see right in front of him how King Aphr would worship the very ground you walked on, kiss the soles of your feet and the palms of your soft hands every night before ravishing you under the sheets until your eyes fill with tears of pleasure–things a mere pirate cook could never provide. 

he imagines in a few years you would have two beautiful children: a girl and a boy, of course. they would be spitting images of you–or maybe one of them would have their father’s fluffy brown hair or gorgeous eyes. whatever the genetic combination, Sanji doesn’t doubt they would be absolutely beautiful solely because they came from you. 

he imagines you living the life you deserve above everyone else on this godforsaken planet: happy, loved and safe from the dangers that come with life on the sea. you’d live a long life and be left wanting for nothing.

it’s a life Sanji cannot give you.

“oh. no, thanks.” your response to the kneeling crown prince is curt with your mouth hidden behind your hand to obscure the fact that you’re mid-chew. “i’m not interested.”

the matter-of-factness of your tone rips Sanji straight out of his self-deprecating nightmare as his head snaps in your direction. still holding his hand, you give it a soft squeeze as you maintain eye contact with your latest suitor. the entire restaurant is dead silent and even the wait staff are frozen in place, trays of freshly prepared gourmet food left to slowly cool before they can even be touched.

the Prince doesn’t hide his disappointment but he takes it better than any of the Straw Hats anticipated. if anything, they were all prepared for a fight but instead, the man simply apologises for disrupting your dinner and takes his leave. once he’s gone, you swallow your food before turning to meet Sanji’s eyes with your own. you can’t help but feel a pang in your chest when you see how teary he looks; you give his hand another squeeze before bringing the back of it to your lips and give him a soft kiss.

“we can talk about this later,” is the message your eyes convey to him and he nods in response.

although business gradually goes back to normal and the usual dining room chatter resumes, you and your group finish the rest of your meal with an odd sense of awkwardness encompassing the establishment. much to your–and Sanji’s–pleasure, however, it seems that your rejection of the Prince’s proposal is enough to ward off any other suitors, at least for the rest of dinner.

ii.

whilst some of your crewmates opt to sleep in early or explore the night market, you and your usual group of drinking buddies head to the hotel’s bar. out of habit, you find a table with four seats for Nami, Robin, Zoro and yourself, though you soon realise your mistake when you notice Sanji’s still holding onto your hand.

“what? not gonna chase skirts tonight, shitty cook?” Zoro speaks your mind. the blond chef’s grip on your hand tightens slightly.

“no, of course not, you stupid mosshead.” Sanji doesn’t elaborate any further but everyone knows the reason why: news of your rejection of the Prince hasn’t spread far enough yet, it seems, and already new faces are peering your way, presents in hand.

less than an hour passes and you’re not the only person who’s been approached by suitors: every one of your Straw Hat companions has been accosted at least three times. you try to keep count but eventually lose track when you reach double digits.

“it seems like they’re more desperate as the week comes to an end,” Robin observes, mumbling into her glass after turning down her fifteenth admirer. 

“desperate’s putting it lightly,” Zoro replies, growing more visibly annoyed as the minutes pass and he can’t seem to enjoy one drink without a man or woman shyly sneaking up on him with more homemade cookies. “they’re even going after the shitty cook, they must be more than desperate,” he adds with a snort, clearly happy to take up any opportunity possible to rile up your boyfriend.

though you can tell Zoro’s ‘joke’ bugs him, Sanji remains quiet, opting to just shoot the swordsman a sharp glare from across the round table.

“here comes another one,” Nami groans, praying she’s not the target.

unfortunately for you, her wish comes true.

Zoro’s guard dog comparison from earlier in the day rings true yet again when the man taps your shoulder to get your attention. before you can even turn to look at what they look like, Sanji’s head snaps around first. although there’s an unmistakable look of pure rage in his eyes as he scowls at the man that makes the suitor almost instantly break out into a cold sweat, the cook’s grip on your hand remains the same gentleness as always.

“fuck off!” Sanji barks, subtlety be damned. your companions each react in a similar manner, choking on their respective drinks to some degree. you even catch Zoro murmuring to himself, “goddamn.” valuing his life, the stranger turns tail and disappears in a matter of seconds.

half a minute passes and the same bitter expression is stuck to your beloved’s face. your free hand reaches up to his head before you run your fingers through his soft hair. the gesture alone seems enough to snap him back to reality as his scowl melts away to be replaced by a small smile. Sanji closes his eyes and lets out a breath, tensed shoulders relaxing as you continue to caress his head. your hand slowly trails down his face before stopping to rest on his shoulder, your palm wrapped around the base of his neck, thumb rubbing along the edge of his sharp jawline. 

your gentle ministrations send his heart into overdrive, the fragile organ threatening to beat so fast and so hard that it shatters his ribcage into nothingness. despite having known you for so long, he can’t ever seem to get used to your love.

“what a coincidence seeing you here, miss (Y/N),” a familiar voice speaks from behind you. from the looks on your crewmates’ faces, you can already tell you’re not the only one sick and tired of this island’s tradition. before anyone–even Sanji–can react to the blatant interruption, you stand up abruptly and turn around to face Prince Aphr. donning a smile, he’s dressed differently than when you first met him at dinner but his expensive clothes only serve to annoy you even further.

“i’ll only say this one more time, your highness,” you say through gritted teeth, days’ worth of built up irritation finally spilling over the edge and the unlucky target of your wrath just has to be the son of the ruler of the island–but you find it hard to care. “i’m not interested and i’ll never be interested. now, please leave me and my friends alone.”

Sanji stares up at you from his seat with his eyes wide and lips slightly parted. the last time you looked this angry was when an enemy pirate kicked Chopper like a soccer ball–and you’d gone on an absolute rampage back then. however, it seems that due to Prince Aphr’s lack of experience witnessing such devastation, he chooses to press on. as much as Sanji would love to diable jambe his royal ass, both him and the rest of the Straw Hats present at the table know you’re fully capable of handling this yourself.

“may i at least ask what it might take for you to even consider my proposal?” the prince asks. he’s either an extremely convincing actor or he’s genuinely so dense he doesn’t actually realise you’re in a relationship with the man right beside you.

“nothing.” your response seems to take him aback. “you could offer me the entire world on a silver platter and my answer would still be the same. my family is my crew and i’ve already met the love of my life.”

Sanji realises at that moment that a small part of him expected you to give an answer the prince could fulfill. when the finality of your words hits him, he can’t help the tears welling up in his eyes as his heart sinks to impossibly low depths. 

you said it all with such ease, so little effort. have i ever done the same for you? what kind of man have i been?

iii. 

Sanji twiddles his thumbs as he sits on the king sized bed, listening intently to the sound of the shower running. when it stops and he hears the slight creak of the shower door opening, he’s overcome with a great sense of anxiety, knowing that time will not stop just because he needs more time to gather his thoughts.

a few minutes later, you exit from the bathroom in a fluffy white robe, the smell of your shampoo washing over the entire hotel room. with a satisfied hum, you crawl across the bed to sit beside him.

“so,” you say gently as you grab one of his hands to play with his long fingers, “you wanna talk about anything?” the moment his eyes meet yours, all the words he painstakingly prepared to say slip right through his fingers. 

you’re so beautiful.

Sanji opens his mouth but is unable to speak, he can only breathe and stare as you patiently wait for him to let everything out. 

i don’t deserve you.

you tilt your head slightly and hum, as though trying to remind him that you’re still there. you look at him with such pure adoration, he wonders if you’re even looking at him. 

but i want you and i want your love more than anything. so please–

“don’t leave me,” Sanji finally manages to choke out, hot tears now streaming down his face. days’ worth of anger and worry finally catches up to him and he can’t do anything but slump forward to bury his face in your midsection. his lanky arms curl around your waist in a desperate attempt to hold you there, just in case you decide you don’t want him anymore.

“hey, who said anything about leaving you, my sweet boy?” you say with a light chuckle but it does nothing to hide the heaviness in your voice. you wrap your arms around his head, hugging him closer to your stomach as he sobs into your bathrobe. running your fingers of one hand through his hair just the way he likes, you continue, “what makes you think that?”

“Prince Aphr can give you everything.” Sanji pulls his head away just enough to speak clearly but not far enough to break away from your warm embrace. “and i can’t. up until we arrived here–ever since we started dating–i couldn’t even stop flirting with women right in front of you and for what?!”

you shush him when he starts to raise his voice and you feel his fingers tighten their grip on the back of your bathrobe. “it’s okay–”

“no, it’s not,” he cuts you off. “how am i supposed to call myself yours if i can’t even treat you with the respect you deserve? i’m sorry, (Y/N), i’m so sorry i took for granted how open you are with the way i am around other women. just seeing the way so many people wanted to steal you away these past few days, and how you turned them all down, made me realise i’ve been a shitty boyfriend–”

deciding that you’ve heard enough, you lean back to separate his face from your body and use your hands to gently tilt his head up so that your eyes meet. Sanji stares almost pitifully up at you, his own hands still holding on for dear life onto your robe as his long legs splay out behind him across the large bed.

“you’re far from a shitty boyfriend, my love,” you sniffle, feeling tears of your own forming in your eyes, “you take such good care of me. you feed me anything i want, fuss over me when i’m sick, protect me in battle. you always let me shower first aboard the Sunny so i get all the hot water.” cupping his face in between your palms, you rub the pads of your thumbs across his cheeks, wiping away his tears. “you look at me like i hung the stars and the moon in the sky,” you say with a choked laugh, unable to help feeling a bit embarrassed admitting such a thing aloud, “sometimes i don’t even know how to live up to that.”

Sanji takes in a shaky breath as he nuzzles his face into your right hand so you lightly scratch his scalp with your left. the sensation pleases him so much he swears he nearly starts purring. 

“how did i get so lucky?” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your palm.

“how did i get so lucky?” you reply with a laugh before leaning down to brush your lips against his forehead. 

already Sanji feels the aching in his heart slowly fade away, leaving behind a soreness that’s sure to persist but he’s certain that it, too, will disappear over time as long as you’re by his side. 

–

tags: @mlpandr63 @wifeofladyqu @strawberrysanzu @qui-sap @secretlife028 @the-avengers-not-the-nazis @peachycat17 @xiaothedgyemo @chaseyui @certain-tragedies @amei-draws-stuff @carmen-skullz @cobainlover @lara-christensen-me @shondlenoodle @teewon @makingmammonmoves @carmendanny2

[grandistragedia]

Ok so I DO know about traditional Isekai harems so I can explain a bit about how they subvert the usual tropes here, which I would like to clarify Re: zero is both a lot more and a lot less cliche than people give it credit for so a lot of the tropes are played straight just as much as they are subverted, generally speaking it's more of a balance of deconstructing and playing it straight

basically:

EMILIA is basically a mish-mash of generic light novel fantasy main heroine tropes: she is a kind, naive and happy Half-Elf wizard "princess" whom is the first person the main hero meets in his adventure, being an elf wizard is INCREDIBLY important here because in every other fantasy work being a female elf wizard pretty much permanently boxes you into the role of "love interest for the male hero" unless the princess takes that role (and she ALSO has the princess role so she's EXTRA "generic love interest), and I wanna say what I consider to be her MAIN deviation from the role: she isn't Subaru's Love interest, Subaru is HER Love interest.

to put it simply she's not the princess whose love Subaru will earn after rescuing her from the Dark lord after overcoming a thousand hardships, She's not the mage that will support the heroic Subaru in his battle against Evil who develops feelings for him along the way: She's the Hero, she's the Noble, Wise Ruler who plans to end the discrimination rampant in the kingdom, she wants to uncover the secrets of ehr past, she wants to prove herself to be her own individual and not just Satella 2.0, she's Aragorn, she's Luke, She's the Hero

She's not here to fawn over Subaru and tell him how cool he is while she supports her, Subaru is here to do that for her, HE'S the support, she earned his love after with her kindness after saving him, she's the one that battles evil while Subaru supports her while openly (and loudly) being in love with her while she's on the side half ignoring his feelings half sorta-reciprocating them (she basically treats him the way male heroes tend to treat their love interests)

this is more apparent when you realize that Emilia only starts to actually like him back when he stops trying to impress her and starts trying to actually support her, support her emotionally, support her in her goals, support her as a strategist, not just trying to be cool but being on her side, believing in her, the real her with her flaws and her virtues

this subversion is so important to re: zero that when Emi starts to act like a typical love interest it's a red flag (ie: the route were she goes insane, greed if)

even when they finally do become Lady and Knight their relationships is on completely equal terms, they fawn over how cool the other is, the try their best to help each other and be on each other's side, they're in love and it's cute

TL,DR Emilia is a subversion of main Heroines in the sense that she's actually the Hero and Subaru is her Heroine

REM

now I'm gonna be a bit brief here Rem is the PHYSYCAL EMBODIMENT of a trope called "Makeine" (Makeru=losing,Heroine) she's a the Betty to Emilia's Veronica, the black, brown or blue haried "more accesible" love interest that is DESTINED to lose to the blonde, white, sometimes red haired heroine that is more "difficult to earn" (the hair color is VERY important here), she's the childhood friend in a harem anime that loves the MC from the start and is always super nice to him and the audience REALLY roots for her so she get's really popular and then she loses so the audiences proceed to make a riot and get mad because she deserved better so the autor makes a spin off where she wins

it speaks to how trope-y Rem is that she plays this SO STRAIGHT that I can't even tell if Tappei did it on purpose to mess with us or if she just turned out like that due to fate, but to be blunt it doesn't really matter since this isn't the trope she subverts:

Rem is the embodiment of every single anime "my waifu" trope that weebs love, until she isn't.

but then she IS those tropes again, except NOT.

she's a cute, kuudere maid that is friendly to the mc alongside her flirty sister, until she kills him

SEVERAL TIMES

but then after some development of their relationship, she starts to fall in love with him very quick, she starts to admire him, to like him (all of him, flaws and all) to sacrifice herself for him, she starts to become.....his waifu.

an actual waifu, not a "real girl" like Emilia, she embodies ALL the fantasies about romance that Subaru wants to have, she's the cute fantasy monster girl that loves and supports him unconditionally, who understands him and is willing to do anything for him even while knowing all his bad qualities (her being an oni is also not a coincidence, Lum Invader from Urusei yatsura basically codified all the waifu tropes Rem embodies) every boundary that he can't cross with Emilia is a boundary that Rem wants him to cross, she idealizes him just as much as he idealizes Emilia, that whole speech Emilia gave Subaru about how he doesn't love her but the version of her inside her head could have never come from Rem's mouth, instead she gives him a speech about how much she loves the version of him inside of her head and tries to motivate him to act like the hero she thinks he is (a speech that helped at the moment but did more damage in the long run) all the things Emilia can't give him are constantly being given to him by Rem

Rem is too good to be true, a dream come to life, she's so perfect it's unhealthy, this is why it's inevitable that she ends up removed from the story.

Subaru cannot mature into the person the Emilia camp needs as long as she's around, she makes things too easy for him, her love is a crutch that must be taken away from him before he grows to dependent on it, and with her coma Rem goes from one cliche to another, she become Subaru's "Lost Lenore" she goes from the "Lum" to Subaru's "Ataru" to the "Eurydice" to his "Orpheus"

(btw Rem getting fridged for Subaru's development is the most painfully heterosexual thing in Re: zero)

And even when she "might as well be dead" Subaru continues to depend on Rem, it actually might have made it worse because now that the real Rem is gone he only has the Rem inside his memories, the version of her inside his head becomes more separate from her actual self and slowly becomes more of an abstract ideal that serves to motivate him

(SPOILERS START HERE)

and then her amnesiac self shatters that ideal violently (i haven't read the vollachia arc so I can't elaborate about this that much yet) but it basically serves as the final nail in the coffin for the old Rem and the final confirmation that Rem was too perfect to be healthy

(SPOILERS END HERE)

btw Rem IF actually contributes to the deconstruction, in order for this universe to exist two things must happen, Subaru has to be a coward and Rem has to be Selfish, by doing this they both relinquish the idealized virtues that they had in the other's head, Subaru stops being "Rem's hero" and Rem stops being "'Subaru's perfect waifu", Subaru becomes a deserter and Rem becomes just a selfish girl in love, they can now permanently indulge in their joyous "sloth" and stop trying to grow as people, at the cost of living with regret for the rest of their lives

tldr Rem subverts every Waifu trope by playing them completely straight, it's more the story itself that deconstructs her by showing her as unhealthy

CRUSCH

I'll be brief, Crusch subverts the harem tropes by not being one of Subaru's love interests.......that's it

Ok I'll be less brief, in a more cliche story she would be the third member of his harem and be the one that officially upgrades it from "love triangle" to a proper harem (her personality even fits as she foils both Rem and Emilia and fits the "lady of war" cliche) but because this is Re: zero Crusch decides that even if she could have fallen for Subaru that ship simply won't sail because she's too busy and he likes someone else, so she just doesn't become one of his Love interests (even post amnesia)

Yes I'm including Priscilla, not because I think she's seriously part of his harem but because she deconstructs some Harem cliches

Prisicilla deconstructs the "Arrogant Tsundere Oujosama" by playing it so utterly straight it loops back around to being original

She's not putting on an act, she doesn't have a nicer, softer side that the protagonist will slowly uncover as she falls in love with him (well, she does have a kinder side but she doesn't fall in love with Subaru, also bluntly speaking even her nicer side is not that nice), she's not secretly lonely or secretly unhappy, she is a Rich Bitch through and through

there is no "tsundere" about her, when she says "I hate you, you're a loser who's beneath me" she means it

even as she starts to legitimately like Subaru she still makes it utterly clear she views him as beneath her

tldr she deconstructs the Oujosama cliche by not subverting your expectations and legitimately being the spoiled, elitist snob she initially seemed to be.

I am being completely serious Reinhard is part the conversation

Reinhard subvert harem tropes by......well tbh just by existing at all

In a another story Reinhard would simply be the body Subaru is reincarnated in, not a character but simply a vessel for Subaru to live out his fantasies, here him and Subaru get to coexist and that makes their dynamic more interesting

Willhelm wishing Subaru was his grandkid is not a coincidence, by all the rules of Light Novels Subaru should be Reinhard

Without each other they are incomplete, without having Subaru's huge personality to fill him Reinhard is almost robotic, with zero ambitions and no drive to do anything beyond his duty, barely even a person, and without Reinhard's perfect body to be his vessel Subaru can't be the hero he wants to be, they need each other, they yearn to be each other, they aren't even soul mates they're just the two halves of a person who never existed

Instead they're sorta "stuck" as different people, but it also allows them to fall in love with befriend each other, Reinhard can be the pillar of strength that the insecure, weak Subaru needs and Subaru can be the pillar of mental strength that the lonely Reinhard needs

The above statement about how Emilia is the hero and Subaru the heroine applies also to him and Reinhard (which makes sense as Rein and Emi have a lot of parallels) but he also fits a different more modern love interest cliche, Reinhard is a Calamity Princess

these girls basically

the calamity princess is basically the (comparatively) modern counterpart to the generic light novel heroine thar Emilia represents , basically they were born from Highschool DxD's Rias Gremory and they were a sort of attempt at revitalizing Light novel Heroines

they are very specific to the 2010s era of light novels (and because of this they feel super dated now), they tried to make the MC's a bit less Gary stu by giving them some conflict about how uncontrollable their powers were or making them initially weak and then becoming stronger (very quickly), academic settings were mandatory, and most importantly they tried to give their main heroines more "personality"

rather than being perpetual damsels in distress or whiny sidekicks, the Calamity princess is actually supposed to be the MC's superior (or at least start as their superior), they are some one the MC is meant to strive for, to impress, to eventually Surpass, and they are defined by 5 characteristics

1)Superiority: as previously mentioned the Princess is meant to start of as someone above the MC whom he must eventually surpass, usually she's his boss, a more experienced colleague or sometimes a sort of rival before joining his side. She can't just be superior to the mc however, she must be viewed as a Superior by the world as a whole (justifying her an an objective to surpass)

2)ambition: the calamity princess has something to prove, a duty to uphold, usually in spite of her superiority she is also ostracized in some form by society at large (her heritage, a condition of her birth, inability to control her power) because of this she then sets herself a goal to prove the world wrong about her and become an important person at "insert thing here" or to defend the honor of "insert noble house here"

3) being royalty, or at least rich: this is just connected to her superiority

4) as mentioned before she is ostracized: in spite of her superiority she tends to be disliked by her fellow nobles or by the world at large due to "x reason"

5) a connection to the protagonists call to adventure: usually the calamity princess is directly involved in empowering/enabling the protagonists, she is sometimes a mentor or a rival

pretty much the only characteristic Reinhard doesn't have is not being a woman and not being the main love interest, and now you might be thinking "Isn't Emilia also a calamity princess?" and you'd be right except for the fact that the calamity princess's agency ultimately depends entirely on the protagonist (basically she's not the hero of her own story but an asset to the MC's story) and her superiority exists to make the MC look cooler when he wins her over, which is simply not true of Emilia.....but it IS true of Reinhard.

Reihard is the unachievable, perfect, redheaded superior to Subaru who makes his journey possible when he saves him, he is ostracized by everyone so the fact that Subaru is still nice to him makes him grow fond of him, Subaru constantly tries to be an equal to Reinhard

hell ayamatsu if is all about how Subaru feels inferior to Reinhard and is essentially a massive attempt at beating him at something

this being side I don't think Reinhard was made with this trope in mind, mainly because there's another Character that fits the trope better:

Theresia Van Astrea (specifically in her relationship to Willhelm) is obviously a riff on the concept, she pretty much fits almost all of the characteristics of the Calamity princess and she's even an actual redhead, she is the Superior that Willhelm constantly strived to equal all his live, she's the girl she loves, the girl he's willing to change himself for and the unobtainable shining idol who casts a shadow over her familiy, the reason why Reinhard resembles the Calamity princess is because him and Theresia have heavy parallels to each other so her archetype ends up bleeding into him a bit

it's also with her that we see the actual deconstruction of the archetype: Willhelm never manages to "earn" her, or he never feels like he does

Wilhelm is defined by his parallelisms with Subaru, he is also a "protagonist" of his own story and to be specific he actually represents the specific brand of Light Novel MC that existed alongside the Calamity princess back in the 2010s, he's not instantly good at everything and must submit himself to intense training to improve himself, he is hated by others because of his weakness and must search any opportunity to prove himself. they were sort of a mix between the usual light novel mc and shonen manga mc, they had the underdog aspect of the latter with the more quiet, self-deprecating nature of the later

so similarily his relationship with Theresia is pretty much a very classic "underdog light novel hero x calamity princess" with the caveat being that he never overcame any of his insecurities at his weakness, Theresia remained an unachievable image of perfection even when she always treated him as an equal, he neved stopped idealizing Theresia so when he loses her the self-hatred that had defined him for so long blows up, he takes it out on Heinkel, on Reinhard on all the people that remined him of her, and thereby reminded him of his failures

Subaru is the exception as he is actually a chance for Willhelm to fix his mistakes, with Subaru's help Willhelm manages to avenge his wife, with Willhelm's help Subaru's relationship with Emilia is mended and he can now start to properly court the real her, not the idealized version in his head (Which is important since Willhelm never got over the idealzied image of Theresia he had) and just as importantly Subaru's relationship with Reinhard is never plagued by the insecurities Will and Theresia's relationship was

Subaru manages to understand what the invincible hero actually needs: for someone to treat him like a human, not as an image of perfection, not as an ideal to strive for but as an 19 year old guy who can't and should not be expected to solve all the problems in the world by himself, he recognizes that his boyfriend, other half, soulmate friend has weaknesses, that he needs help covering those weaknesses, and most importantly, that it is perfectly possible for Subaru to help him cover those weaknesses (yadah, yadah, Subaru humanizes Reinhard, while Reinhard herofies Subaru, yadah yadah they make the perfect team yadah yadah, two halves of the same hero, yadah yadah THEY SHOULD KISS)

tldr.....Subaru and Reinhard are really fucking gay

ok this came out a lot less coherent than I wanted but I'm moving on to the last member

THIS HANDSOME FUCKER

Julius doesn't really subvert any "harem tropes" per se (I'm not familiar with BL harem's unfortunatelty), he's a subversion of the rival trope in the sense that his rivalry with Subaru only exists in Subaru's head

Like Julius does not reciprocate Subaru's animosity at all, he actually is kinda fond of the little bastard even though they started off in the wrong foot, like post white whale he's very clearly just fucking with him when he teases him

he spends more time saving him than indulging in any "rivalry", and by act 4 he's openly enjoying Subaru's company ("from the bottom of muy heart, your recklessness truly shocks me sometimes" *proceeds to shoot a literal rainbow laser powered by fairies*)

(SPOILERS)

any remnants of his rival status is further obliterated by the pleiades watch tower arc, they aren't even ribbing each other anymore it's just "OH THANK GOD MY BEST FRIEND STILL REMEMBERS ME, MY LIFE HASN'T ENDED"

(END OF SPOILERS)

also a lot of readers have read the constant flowery descriptions of Julius's handsomeness by Subaru as him having a crush on him but being in denial (which, fair)

on the other end Julius's constantly expressed desire to befriend Subaru and his obvious soft spot for him could be read as him liking Subaru, also his constant teasing could be read as flirting

fact remains that if Tappei were to decide that Julius likes Subaru or that Subaru has a crush on Julius and proceeded to change absolutely nothing about their relationship......it would work

tldr: Julius defies harem tropes by being a man and he defies Rival tropes by not being Subaru's rival at all and actually kinda just being a guy that's bad at flirting (or arguably he's good at it but Subaru's just dense)

this was way to damn long and took too much of my time to write but I hope whoever reads this can enjoy it

Most realistic part of re:zero is when Subaru makes jokes about his trauma that no one else can understand but he knows it’s funny

[chokifandom]

—☆ 13. you're worth changing for

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note: this chapter contains writing! buckle up folks, this is a LONG one... but we finally made it to the end!!! thank you all so much for sticking till the end with this incoherent mess of an smau <3 wc: 1735

you stare at the barebones text conversation you’d had with nagi over the week, which was mostly him asking you what’s up and you brushing it off like nothing ever happened. honestly, you’d have loved to just fix this over text, but some things are better off being fixed in a tangible setting. nagi deserves more than just some words on a screen, too. with shaking hands, you press call. a feeling of regret immediately blooms in your gut. and your stomach drops even further when the receiver actually receives the call. in all honesty, you want to puke. it all feels far too sudden now, but you’ve successfully dug yourself your hole to lie in— you’ve got no choice but to carry through. perhaps you hate yourself for what you’ve done, but you hate leaving loose ends even more. “nagi?”

“y/n. hello.” ‘what do you need?’ is an unspoken continuance of his greeting.

“can we, uh, talk?”

“sure, i guess. there’s something i wanted to talk to you about as well— what’s up?”

“not now! i mean in-person. can i come over actually? we can sort this out before meeting up with the others.”

“yeah, cool.”

“i’ll see you in ten?”

“yeah.”

nagi remains as deadpan as ever, and you can’t quite tell if this puts you at ease or makes you feel worse. you wonder if he actually wanted to hear you out or if he only agreed because he thinks it would’ve been too much of a hassle to reject you. but this had always been looming at the back of your mind, staining all your memories with nagi an ugly dark hue the moment you realised you had feelings for him. but nagi’s too precious for that. you don’t want him to be just another person you could’ve had more with, lost forever in the annals of history. 

at the other end of the line, nagi thinks this couldn’t have been more perfect of an opportunity. once again, he’d gotten everything handed to him on a silver platter. the cruelest thing you’ve done to him was pretend he didn’t exist and give him withdrawals— how much worse could this conversation be? he wonders what he did wrong. your arrival was the most eventful his life could’ve gotten, and when he’d finally gotten the resolve to change for the better, to change for you, you’d all but disappeared like you were never even there. this is better than nothing. 

and now begins the arguably ten most gruelling minutes of his life.

you think being an avid overthinker could almost be akin to telling the future. countless possibilities spring to life in your mind, and it’s like you travel multiverses for a living. at what cost, though? these blossoming ‘outcomes’ are all tainted with a darkness that scares you. like a moth to flame, you are compelled to pick the worst outcome you can ‘see’, and cling to it like tightrope you’re walking on that feels like it’s about to snap. the outcome that reflects the hurricane-like frenzy your mind has been over the past week, the one that justifies your thoughts and tells you that you were right in thinking that nagi seishiro would hate you for everything you’ve done. ‘there’s something i wanted to talk to you about too’ keeps replaying in your head and it only amplifies the output, each telling darker than the last.

you find yourself standing in front of his door, but the sinking feeling in your stomach simply gets deeper. the door is ajar, and you can see nagi sitting on his couch in a plain white hoodie, the same shade as his hair, through the little open sliver. his presence is just as monotone as the rest of his apartment, which is unexpectedly tidy. but you don’t have the liberty to say anything about it. you call out his name, and he sets his phone aside, standing up from his place and walking to the door, and you’re greeted by his large, towering frame once more. and once more, you question if this is the right choice— but then again, you’d rather be the one ripping the bandaid off by yourself than nagi having to find out in an unexpected way. but you can’t deny that no amount of steeling yourself would ever prepare you for a moment of confrontation.

“you can uh… come inside…”

you wordlessly follow nagi into his monotone apartment, but don’t take a seat next to him on the couch like you usually would have. you opt to standing awkwardly in front of the couch as you look down at him. “you can sit, y’know… you’re kinda making this awkward.”

nagi seishiro is unchanging as ever. his blunt words spear through your chest, but he’s right.

“what did you want to talk about?” you both ask in unprecedented unison, but you’re quick to clear your throat and tell him he could go first.

“well, i was wondering why you were avoiding me. i don’t know what i did, but i’m sorry.” your heart clenches and you let out a choked sob upon hearing his words. you’re the one that hurt him, but he’s the one apologising. “it’s— it’s not your fault, i just—” hiori was right. your avoidance hurts.

“what— why are you crying?” almost reflexively, nagi’s arms are around you. you grip the sides of his hoodie like he’s an ethereal being that would vanish if you didn’t hold onto him with all your might. he stays silent and waits until your cries start to fade. “it’s okay. it can’t be that bad, right?” he says as he holds with such a soft tenderness, treating you like you might break.

“i’m scared …nagi.” his name feels heavy on your tongue. “i’m scared that i’m going to lose you after this, and i’m going to lose my only friends in this university. i’m going to ruin a paradise i built off of a lie and now that it’s time to rip the bandaid, i find myself unable to do it... i’m scared because i can’t tell the future and i can’t face it with cetainty. i keep running away and it’s making me hurt everyone, and i hate that you felt like you were the one at fault when it was most certainly me.” the confession is almost unexpected, but you begin to feel liberated with each word that leaves your lips.

“you’re already here, aren’t you? i mean, i’d say you’re brave enough already to try, all while admitting your faults. most people are too afraid to do that.”

how ironic, you think. you hurt nagi and yet he’s here comforting you instead. you take a deep, deep breath and say it out loud, raw like it is. “you remember valentine’s day? well… it wasn’t ever meant for you, but for itoshi. but well, i really like you now and i wouldn’t have it any other way, so i’m a bit glad i made that mistake. but it felt wrong for me to keep acting like it never happened, and i’d have hated for you to find out about it from someone who wasn’t me.”

a mixture of emotions flashes across his face, momentarily, and it scares you that you can’t tell what he’s feeling or what his response could be. you can’t meet his eyes— you skirt all over his face but don’t look into his eyes even once.

“that’s it?”

“what?”

“you overthink too much to be healthy.”

“i know that—! why else do you think i— i— you know!”

“you like me, and i like you, so i think that’s all that matters,” he continues. “unless you still like itoshi, then we’re gonna have a problem.” you think that you could hear the shrug through his voice if you weren’t looking directly at him.

“you like me? even after this? but wait, you like me?”

“well… i wouldn’t be saying that if i didn’t?” you can feel the tension in the air thin out and you feel like you can breathe again. “although, i do want to know why you went on with that date like nothing was wrong when clearly everything was.”

“you— you told me those were your first ever valentine’s chocolates before i could say anything and then i felt horrible about having to break it to you like that so i didn’t!”

“it wouldn’t have mattered to me. i only went on that date because reo made me.” you should’ve found yourself shattered by this statement, but it only relieves you. ‘if it makes you feel better’ is the phrase left unsaid by nagi. “but it’s good that it happened, i guess? you’ve inspired me to change myself for the better, and that wouldn’t have happened if i never met you.” nagi’s admission takes even him by surprise, but there’s a small smile on his lips as he says it.

“to be honest, it was so hard for me to, you know. do this. it’s hard to change, but you’re worth changing for, too.” it’s all out in the open now, and in this moment there’s nothing but you and nagi seishiro, naked with vulnerability that you only could’ve dreamed of displaying in your dreams. it comes with a lovely sort of reprieve that makes you feel like you can do anything.

you finally ask the question to address the elephant of silence that’s standing smack dab in the middle of the room. “anyway, so… what does this make us?”

“i don’t know, you tell me, we’ve been practically living at each other’s place for the past few months,” a little smirk teases the corner of nagi’s lips.

“it’s not real until at least one of us—” you are very quickly cut off by nagi pressing his lips to yours. it’s a short kiss, very fleeting, but it’s enough to stun you. “i hope that was confirmation enough,” the smirk on his face only widens as he watches you regain your composure. “we should get going, reo and the others must be waiting.” you wish you could freeze this moment for eternity— alas, time and reo wait for none, and you are confused when reo and chigiri have the most dumbfounded looks on their faces when they see you walking out of nagi’s apartment hand in hand with the one and only.

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[yujinmikotoba]

I think one of the reasons why kazuma is a polarising character in some circles is actually because tgaa early on does a great job making him into the exact kind of character he’s there to subvert.

like when you first meet him there are other characters in ace attorney he’s clearly meant to evoke. the mia fey. the gregory edgeworth. he stands by ryunosuke in his first trial, being the tutorial guide, looking cool and put together, always knowing what to do and say and is obviously just so much more experienced than ryunosuke. the fact he dies so early only reinforces this. like the characters in this archetype before him he’s destined to haunt the narrative. the gold standard our protagonist desperately wants to live up to but is now tragically distant from.

him coming back just… shatters all of that. we see him cold and distant, confused and scared. we find out he’s made certain decisions that are ethically dubious at best. you realise that he’s not a mia or a gregory at all in fact he’s more akin to a miles or a franziska, which coincides perfectly with him slipping into the prosecutor role. he’s not ryunosuke’s mentor, he’s his opposition. it’s supposed to be jarring.

but this is because the game wants you start thinking about him beyond that initial impression, and make you question whether he could have ever fit it to begin with.

kazuma is the exact same age as ryunosuke. they were classmates. they wear the same uniform. kazuma may appear to be more put together but their material conditions point to him being in the exact same stage of life as our protagonist who is unsure, inexperienced, and a little bit scatterbrained. the reality is they’re much closer to being equals than one being the veteran and the other a rookie. (in fact there are things ryunosuke excels at where kazuma doesn’t, ryunosuke is canonically a better public speaker than kazuma)

and yet at 23, both we and ryunosuke are under this impression that kazuma had it all figured out, that he could be a guiding light. but that’s not true, he is nowhere near ready for that responsibility. and the ultimate point is that’s okay!

the ending to kazuma’s story is acknowledging that he deserves the space to be able to find himself, to become the person he wants to be and that it’s okay that he isn’t that person yet.

and with all of these revelations his and ryunosuke’s dynamic and friendship is extremely different than it was at the start of the games, in fact it’s arguably completely new, but their friendship is ultimately stronger because of that because they’re finally able to engage as equals and see each other for who they truly are.

[fatphobiabusters]

I keep yo-yo dieting as early as age 12. Currently in my mid 20s. The lowest weight I even been is 180. Highest was somewhere in the 200-mid 200s.

And ughhhhh I’m so tired. I’m so tired of the anxiety about food and weight. I keep having periods where I love my body and eat anything I want, but then anytime I accidentally overeat and feel nauseous, I come crashing back down and feel so gross.

It majorly dosnt help that half of my family are fat phobic and food obsession health. Like, a family member literally said multiple times I should get a ED to help me lose weight……Since I can’t metaphorically leave my house, I’m stuck….:idk what to do? It feels like I’m trap in a never ending circle.

This isn't an easy situation, and I bet a lot of people are in this boat with you. I wish your family would listen to your feelings and treat you with compassion. Nobody, including you, should be encouraged to develop an eating disorder, let alone by a member of their own family. You deserve to live a life that doesn't involve being told to abuse your body into temporary thinness.

Fatphobic family members definitely make life as a fat person harder, and that's often elevated during the holidays. Here's some coping mechanisms you can try to help you while interacting with your family:

Find a space you can go to by yourself to cool down while dealing with fatphobic family members. Maybe that's sitting on a porch, taking a walk outside, or even hanging out in your room. Having stuff with you to help you destress while you're cooling down can also be beneficial. This could be headphones for listening to music, a sketchbook for drawing, a stim toy, etc.

If this is a temporary situation, like being at a family member's house for dinner, and you're also with somebody you trust, make a plan with that person for when family members bring up diet culture. A secret word, a tap on the shoulder, a text to their phone that let's them know you want to leave/change the conversation. Even just knowing you have somebody there with you who understands how you're feeling can be helpful.

You can try to change the subject when your family starts talking about weight. You can also do this subtly if you need to by switching to a topic somewhat related to the original conversation. For example, if somebody is talking about exercising in a diet culture manner, you could ask if they go on walks and where their favorite place to walk is. If somebody is talking about their diet recipes, start talking about a new recipe you've tried recently that your family members "have to try." If a family member says they've gained or lost weight, ask them what else has been happening in their life. And if changing the subject doesn't work, there's hopefully the options of putting on headphones or leaving the space.

Surround yourself with as much fat positivity as you can. That's easier said than done, but even a few fat positive posts may help you turn around a bad day. You could also try creating some of your own fat positive posts/works, if that sounds fun to you.

If this is possible, you can set goals for what you need to do to leave your family home and live away from your family. Mark those goals on a piece of paper so you can check them off. Every time you get closer to your goal of living away from your family, that progress will likely help you have the strength to deal with your family members for the time being. These goals can be saving a certain amount of money, finishing the next semester of school, finding a better job, etc.

These are just a few ideas off the top of my head. Any followers who also have tips, please let us know in the notes.

As for accidentally overeating and feeling nauseous, I relate to that not being a great feeling. Try to ride out that feeling of discomfort. Tell yourself that the feeling will pass whether you act on that feeling or not. As somebody who knows a lot about OCD recovery, you have to teach yourself to sit with the discomfort (or the uncertainty, in the case of OCD) and let that discomfort pass. It will take time to get better at this, but you deserve food no matter what.

-Mod Worthy

[girlactionfigure]

Here’s what it’s like to be a Jewish student at UPenn 🧵👇

 Penn was my dream school. Now it feels unrecognizable. Rising antisemitism, vandalism, and threats have gone unchecked. I shared my story with congress and the state senate months ago — nothing has changed.

In September 2023, UPenn hosted the Palestine Writes Festival. It featured speakers with long antisemitic histories who glorified terrorism. Thousands of students, alumni, and politicians pleaded with the administration to act.

They ignored us.  2/ 

I raised my safety concerns with UPenn leadership. Their response? "Hillel is one of the safest buildings on campus. You have nothing to worry about."

2 days later, Hillel was vandalized. The perpetrator screamed: “F** the Jews!”*  3/ 

Hillel is supposed to be a safe space—a place to eat kosher, pray, rehearse with my a cappella group, or just study.

The morning of the break-in, my op-ed was finally published: “What Are We Waiting For?”

Hours later, my fears were proven right. Weeks later a bomb threat was made on the building 4/

Noah Rubin | An open letter to Jewish students at PennNoah Rubin urges fellow students at Penn to utilize their....Link

December 3rd, 2023: A mob of students, faculty, and extremists marched through campus.

They screamed:

“Intifada revolution!” “From water [river] to water [sea], Arab Palestine!” “Only the martyr in spirit and blood can open the gates of Al Aqsa!” 5/ 

We locked ourselves in our rooms, terrified.

Buildings were vandalized with graffiti:

“Blood Money” “Intifada” “Avenge Gaza” 6/ 

I missed my finals work that night. I and hundreds of Jewish students couldn’t leave our rooms.

I shared this months ago. Now another semester is over, and nothing has changed to prevent this from happening again.

The silence from UPenn’s administration is deafening.  7/ 

Since then, a pro-Hamas encampment took over campus for 2 weeks in the spring. Jewish students were harassed daily:

Called slurs. Physically blocked from campus spaces. Told: “Hamas should do it again. You’re next.”

We were told to “avoid the center of campus.”  8/ 

Meanwhile, we were called: “Nazis,” “Hitler’s children,” and worse.

Some Jewish students were physically assaulted. 

Professors aren’t just silent—they’re leading this:

Some skip class to chant “Intifada!” Others justify Hamas terror or post extremist rhetoric online.

One even posted a Hamas military patch as a “cool” Facebook photo.

How is this acceptable?  9/ 

I’ve had over 20 meetings with administrators. I’ve been told to “take care of myself and get some rest.”

That was months ago. Now the semester is over, and I’m asking again:

How long will Jewish students be ignored?  10/ 

Why do these professors have full classrooms? Why are they given the official platform to spew hate? 

Many of them are not even tenured!  11/ 

Penn is failing its Jewish students. We’re looking over our shoulders just to get to class.

We deserve better. This fight isn’t just about us—it’s about stopping hatred from being normalized on campus.

Enough is enough.  12/ 

If you’re a Jewish student, an ally, or someone who cares about truth—stand up, speak out, and hold universities accountable.

We shouldn’t have to feel unsafe at our own schools.

I ask again: What are we waiting for?

🛑 #StopAntisemitism

@NoahGRubin

[bellobambino]

Unraveled

A Luigi Mangione Fic

Luigi Mangione x (F)Long Time Friend

630w

Summary: Luigi shows up at his friend's apartment, hoping to reconnect after being missing for 3 months.

Luigi's POV, First Person Perspective

Warnings: ... Catholicism? Maybe some religious justifications of murder if you're into that.

Author's Note: Please don't give me shit for the religious aspect. Italians tend to be fairly catholic. The act of washing a loved one's feet or caring for a loved one's feet has been talked about and written about for a long ass time. I have serious feelings about it okay. The symbolism, sis. Get cultured, idiots.

———

I knocked, already planning what I was going to say.

How do you apologize for falling off the face of the earth? Especially when things were getting serious. I didn’t know if she’d seen the suspect photos yet—if she knew it was me. And if she did, would she turn me in?

When she opened the door, her face did this thing—the thing faces do when they’re trying to process too much at once.

She blinked. “Jesus, Luigi.”

I tried to play it cool, to say something smooth, like I just happened to be in town and thought I’d swing by. Instead, I croaked out, “Hey.”

It was the voice of a man who hadn’t spoken in months.

“Get inside,” she said, ushering me in.

Her apartment smelled like lavender and something else I couldn’t quite place. It smelled much better than I did. She didn’t ask why I was there, or what kind of mess I was in, or how long I planned to crash on her couch. She just started peeling me apart like an onion.

Backpack. Jacket. Scarf. Hoodie. She got me to sit on the couch. Then she kneeled in front of me, placing my frozen feet in her lap. Immediately, she started working at the triple-knotted laces of my New Balances.

Fiddling with them, she smiled to herself. “You’re very thorough, Lu.”

She chuckled as she unraveled the laces one by one and slipped the shoes off, chucking them and my crusty, frozen socks toward the back door. Then, suddenly, she was holding my bare feet against her chest.

It took me a few moments to process what she was doing. And why.

“I’m so sorry,” I croaked. I didn’t even know what I was apologizing for in that moment, but my Catholic guilt had me saying it anyway.

She didn’t look up, just kept holding my feet in her warm hands, tending to them like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like the Son of God on his knees, washing the feet of His disciples—rinsing away all the dirt, grime, and sin of what they’d been through to bring them back to their foundations.

That’s what love does, right? It goes lower. Lower than who you are or what you’ve done. Low enough to lift you out of the corner of hell you’ve crawled into.

But I’m no disciple. I’m an absolute mess. A murderer. And yet her hands were still on me, warm and deliberate, and it was too much. I was shattered. I couldn’t even look at her.

“Sorry? For what? You’re getting frostbite, if you don’t already have the beginnings of it,” she said so matter-of-factly.

I wouldn’t have believed any of this was real if the warmth of her hands wasn’t the truest thing I’d felt in my entire life.

The longer she held me, the more devastated I became. Before I knew it, I was sobbing. Ugly, inconsolable sobbing. I grabbed my scarf off the couch and shoved it into my twisted, tear-streaked, snot-covered face. I couldn’t control the release that came out of me. I didn’t deserve this, but she was giving me grace. Seeing me for who I really was—and who I really was in that moment was pouring out of my eyes and nose.

I knew she couldn’t ignore my reaction, but she didn’t say a word. I tried to steady my breathing, desperate to regain some control. I sniffed, trying to contain the snot situation. “Are you mad?” I squeaked, needing to know.

A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she reached for her slippers. Gently, she slipped them onto my feet. “I’m gonna open a bottle of red. Do you want a glass?”

That gave me my answer. "Please."

_______________________________________

never satisfied. I cant start or end a fic to save my life. it's so anticlimactic lol

[callsign-jinx]

A Rebel in my Soul [2023 ver.] | Ch.4: Time to target: three minutes

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x fem!pilot!reader (Call sign: Rebel)

Word count: 5k

Warnings: swearing, flying exercise, worried Jake (that deserves a warning), and also Idiot Jake, mutual pining (even tho nobody seems to notice duh), and maybe i'm forgetting something.

A/N: it's been a whole minute since I posted this, but i still want to rewrite it and get rid of the of version, because it was my first series and has a lot of mistakes, There are a few changes in this version, and a lot more descriptions. Won't be tagging anyone for this but if someone wants to be, let me know on the comments or send an ask!

An hour after Hangman walks out, fed up with watching Rooster flirt with every person who enters the bar, you start to gather your things. Part of you wishes Hangman had stuck around a little longer; it was nice talking to him, almost like discovering a different side of him. That is, until he reverted back to his usual asshole self. As you're saying goodbye to the other aviators, your bike keys dangling from your finger, your phone beeps with a new message. The name on the screen brings a small smile to your face.

Iceman.  

Iceman: Honey, you cannot mop the floor with your father’s ass on the first day. It’s not healthy for the family relationships.  

Reb: I was just doing my job, Uncle Ice. 

Iceman: Breaking the hard deck?  

Reb: You know too much to be on a medical leave, don’t you?

Iceman: I brought you two here; of course I know what you’re up to.  

A smile tugs at your lips. Iceman had recommended both of you to Cyclone when the mission came up, knowing that if anyone could handle it, it would be his nephews. He always called you that. You remember summers spent at Iceman’s house, watching in awe as your father and he bickered over old mission memories, each convinced they were right. He was always the cool uncle. Pun intended.

He was also the one who told you, despite your father’s objections, that you were meant to be a pilot. It was in your blood. And God knows, the world could always use more incredible pilots like Maverick.

Reb: He tried to fix years of resentment in a dogfight, Ice. Can you believe it? 

Iceman: Actually, I can. That’s your father’s style.  

Reb: He almost got us killed.  

Iceman: And yet I heard that he was the one to pull up first.  

Reb: You really know too much.  

Iceman: You need to forgive your father, y/n.  

Only a handful of people called you by your real name instead of your call sign, and Iceman was one of them. It sometimes made you feel like a child again, like he was scolding you for running around the house the way you used to. But for Iceman, calling you by your name was his way of reminding you that you, Y/n Mitchell, would always be his little girl.   

Reb: If he wants me to forgive him, he needs to explain why he did what he did.  

Iceman: He won’t tell you. 

Reb: Do you know why?  

Iceman: Yes, honey. I know why he did it.  

Reb: Could you tell me?  

Iceman: I wish I could... but it has to be him. 

Reb: Yeah... you’re right. How you holding up?  

Iceman: I’m better. I can even talk a little.  

Reb: That’s amazing, Uncle Ice! I’m so so happy for you.  

Iceman: How’s Rooster? Is he doing okay?  

Reb: He’s still too cautious for his own good. He’s having problems following the rest.  

Iceman: He needs to be faster...  

Reb: Yeah... 

Iceman: Be careful out there, okay? And don’t be mean to the other kids.  

Reb: I’m not the mean one?  

Iceman: Do I have to remind you that time you threw Rooster in my pool because he said that you were tiny?  

Reb: He’s the giant.  

Iceman: As I said, don’t be mean to the other kids.  

Reb: Okay, Uncle Ice. See you soon. Love ya. 

Iceman: Love you too, kiddo.  

If only you had the time to visit him. But between the nonstop work and exhaustion, there’s barely enough time to catch your breath. You make a mental note to try and see him next week, before the mission.

As if the day hadn’t already been stressful enough, your bike refuses to start when you sit on it, ready to leave. Not again. It might be old, but it’s your first bike, and it’s special to you. Lately, though, it’s been more trouble than it’s worth.

After several more attempts, the engine finally roars to life. You pull away from the bar quickly, a million thoughts swirling in your mind. Rooster, Maverick, Hangman, and Iceman fill most of them. It never crossed your mind that Iceman might know the reason behind Maverick’s actions. But the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. After Goose’s death, Iceman was the closest thing Maverick had to a best friend. If anyone knew, it would be Admiral Kazansky.

Hours later, after a sleepless night and way too much coffee, you find yourself in the briefing room, ready to finally learn what this mission is really about. The room is empty, just you for now. You take a seat, close your eyes for a few seconds, and silently pray to whatever is listening—that this mission won’t be as suicidal as the rumors suggest. There’s still so much you want to do, so many places you want to go. You’re not ready to give it all up just yet.

All over the base, it feels like everyone knows something you don’t. When you or the other aviators walk into a room, people glance at you with admiration—and sometimes, with a hint of sympathy. They all share some unspoken knowledge, and it’s unsettling.

"Morning, Rebel," you hear Hangman’s voice break the silence.

"Morning."

You keep your eyes closed, focusing on the sound of his footsteps as he approaches. A small part of you wonders which version of Hangman you’ll get today—the usual asshole, or the surprisingly nice guy you met last night at the bar? It’s a little intriguing. He stops beside you, the leather of the seat creaking as he leans over it.

"Are you okay?"

Seems like you're getting nice Hangman for two days in a row.

"Yeah, don’t worry. I’m just a little tense." You open your eyes and find him looking at you with a soft expression, his eyes filled with something almost tender. A reassuring smile crosses his face as his hand moves from the seat, gently patting your shoulder.

"It’ll be okay."

For some reason, his words settle you a little. You nod and smile softly, feeling the tension ease, even if just slightly. You’re about to thank him when Rooster’s voice cuts through the air, making Hangman step back. He takes a seat at the farthest row of chairs, away from you.

Bradley nudges you with his elbow as he sits next to you. "Chin up, Reb."

For a moment, you don’t even care about the mission anymore. Well, that’s not entirely true, but right now, you can’t stop thinking about Hangman. He’s been surprisingly nice to you for the past 24 hours. Can someone really change that quickly? And why, of all people, has he chosen to show you this side?

You glance at him. He’s chatting with Coyote, who had walked in just after Rooster. Hangman’s signature cocky smile is back, probably followed by a few arrogant comments about his skills.

Your thoughts drift back to yesterday. His sweet, almost irresistible smile. The warmth in his laugh, the way his voice lacked its usual narcissistic edge. The feeling of his skin brushing against yours. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about it all night. 

He walked into the room and checked on you, as if it weren’t the most unusual thing for Jake Seresin to do.

There’s a rumor that someone once had a crush on Jake when she first saw him back in the Top Gun days. He was young, handsome, and definitely a bit of a ladies' man. But your foolish, young heart didn’t care about any of that. For better or worse, nothing ever came of it, and Hangman quickly proved himself to be nothing more than a charming idiot.

Now, when you look at him, you can't help but wonder—can people actually change?

“Time is your greatest enemy,” Maverick begins, finally outlining the objective of the mission. “Phase one of the mission will be a low-level ingress attacking in two-plane teams. You’ll fly along this narrow canyon to your target. Radar-guided surface-to-air missiles defend the area. These SAMs, they’re lethal. But they were designed to protect the skies above, not the canyon below.” 

Every aviator in the room exchanges uneasy glances, the gravity of the situation sinking in. You glance at Rooster, his focus locked on the screen.  

“That’s because the enemy knows no one is insane enough to try and fly below them.” Rooster mutters, voicing the unspoken thought that’s on everyone’s mind. 

“That’s exactly what I’m gonna train you to do.” Maverick replies, his voice unwavering. 

Rooster glances at you, eyebrow raised. Yeah, this is classic Maverick bullshit.

“Great, another suicide mission,” you mutter under your breath.

“On the day of the mission, your altitude will be 100 feet, maximum,” Maverick continues, unfazed. “If you exceed this altitude, radar will spot you, and you’re dead.”

“100 feet?” your friend whispers, disbelief in his voice.

“Roos, this is impossible.”

“Your airspeed will be 660 knots minimum. Time to target: two and a half minutes. That’s because fifth-generation fighters are waiting at a nearby airbase. If you try to engage them head-to-head in your F-18s, you’re dead. That’s why you need to get in, hit the target, and be gone before those planes even have a chance to catch you. Time is your greatest adversary."

You glance at Hangman. He’s smirking, clearly relishing the challenge. He’s probably already planning to be the first one to nail it.

You almost laugh when Maverick says, "Today, we'll be easy."

Max ceiling: 300 feet. Time to target: three minutes.

And that’s supposed to be easy?  

Gradually, all members of the team get a chance to try to make it on time, following the parameters and course that are marked on the screen. To call this mission "almost impossible" would be an understatement. None of your teammates make it to the target on time—some surpass the 300-foot ceiling, others hit an invisible rock wall. You manage to hit the target with only a second to spare, but you know that’s not good enough. If you want to survive on the day, you’ll need to be at least 30 seconds faster. Rooster makes it to the target, but he’s a full minute late. You can already feel Maverick’s gaze on him, knowing exactly what’s coming.

When you all file back into the briefing room after the exercise, you brace yourself for the worst.

Maverick projects a simulation of Coyote, Phoenix, and Bob’s run on the screen. You watch as miscommunication between the team leads them to failure—each mistake compounding the next. Their timing is off, their formation is sloppy, and every second counts. The message is clear. This mission isn’t just about speed; it’s about precision, coordination, and being perfect under pressure.

“Why are they dead?” Maverick asks, his tone cold and cutting once the simulation ends.

“We broke the 300-foot ceiling, and a SAM took us out,” Phoenix explains, her voice tight with the sting of failure.

“No. Why are they dead?” Maverick’s gaze shifts to Coyote, who’s clearly the one who needs to answer.

Coyote exhales, his shoulders sagging under the weight of his mistake. “I slowed down and didn’t give her a warning. It was my fault.”

“Was there a reason you didn’t communicate with your team?” Maverick’s words are sharp, pointed. You can’t help but agree—the exercise would’ve been a success if they had communicated better.

“I was focusing on...” Coyote starts, but Maverick cuts him off, his voice biting.

“One that their family will accept at their funeral.”

Ouch. That one lands hard. Even you wince at the weight of the words.

“None, sir,” Coyote responds, voice barely above a whisper.

Maverick doesn’t pause. He moves to Phoenix, his gaze steely. “Why didn’t you anticipate the turn? You were briefed on the terrain.”

Phoenix opens her mouth to respond, but Maverick doesn’t give her a chance. “Don’t tell me. Tell it to his family.” The room goes dead silent. The tension is palpable as Maverick turns, his eyes scanning the group for the lesson that should’ve been learned by now: this is real.

Maverick shifts to the next simulation: Hangman, Payback, and Fanboy. You’re not even surprised when Hangman goes full throttle, leaving the other two behind. He’s living up to his name, no question about it.

“What happened?” Maverick asks, his eyes narrowing at Hangman.

“Well, I flew as fast as I could. Kinda like my ass depended on it,” Hangman replies, that trademark smug grin plastered on his face. You’re starting to wonder if he has two different personalities—one where he's cocky and reckless, and another where he genuinely thinks he can be a different person.

“And you put your team in danger, and your wingman’s dead,” Rooster jumps in, cutting Hangman off before Maverick can lay into him. His voice is firm, not letting Hangman wiggle out of it.

“They couldn’t keep up,” Hangman shoots back, as if it’s that simple. You roll your eyes. Seriously, two personalities.

“Are you serious?” you mutter, not holding back. Hangman turns to look at you, his smirk widening, but then his gaze shifts back to the screen where Maverick is already prepping your simulation. You focus, mentally preparing yourself. You watch the simulation play out, noting the areas where you need to be more careful and the places where you could push yourself to be faster.

“This is a great example of how it’s done. We just need to be faster here. Good job, Rebel,” Maverick praises you, and you nod awkwardly. The words hit you harder than you expected—good job. You haven’t heard praise like that from your father in years, and it feels… strange. Almost foreign.

The last simulation starts, showing Rooster, Yale, and Harvard making their way through the course. They’re moving slower than required, and even though they hit the target, it’s clear they’ll have to dogfight their way out. The stakes are high.

“Why are you dead?” Maverick asks, his tone sharp. “You’re team leader up there. Why are you, why is your team dead?” The disappointment in his voice is almost tangible. You can feel the weight of his expectations. Maverick, after all, had to be expecting more from Goose’s son.

“Sir, he’s the only one besides Rebel who made it to the target,” Phoenix speaks up, cutting through the tension, trying to give Rooster some credit.

Maverick doesn’t respond right away, but the way his jaw tightens tells you all you need to know. The lesson here isn’t just about hitting the target—it’s about how you do it and when. It’s about leading your team, not just yourself. And coming back home in one piece.

“A minute late. He gave enemy aircraft time to shoot him down,” Maverick states bluntly.

“You don’t know that,” Rooster affirms, defensive. His voice is tight, but there's a certain stubbornness in it—like he's trying to hold onto something.

Well, if the situation were different, and there were actual enemy aircraft on that course, Maverick’s right. A minute is more than enough time for them to close the gap and take you out. You hate to admit it, but Rooster's being reckless.

“You’re not flying fast enough. You don’t have a second to waste,” Hangman chimes in, his voice steady, almost like a mantra. You can almost picture him saying it to himself every morning as he stares into the mirror, trying to convince himself he’s the fastest.

“We made it to the target,” Rooster snaps, his tone dangerous now. He’s fuming, but the anger in his voice is clouding his judgment. His fists are clenched at his sides, and you can see how hard it is for him to swallow the criticism.

“And superior enemy aircraft intercepted you on your way out,” Maverick counters, trying to reason with him, trying to explain why the time delay cost them more than just a minute. It cost them survival.

Rooster doesn’t say anything for a moment, but you can see the internal battle playing out in his eyes. He’s not just fighting the mission, he’s fighting the legacy of what happened to his father.

You hate to admit it, but Maverick’s right—Rooster needs to set aside his resentment and listen. The mission isn't about proving something to everyone else; it’s about surviving.

“Then it’s a dogfight,” Rooster shoots back, his jaw set.

“Against fifth-generation fighters,” Maverick responds, the weight of the situation clear in his voice.

“Yeah. We’d still have a chance.”

“In an F-18,” Maverick adds, almost as if he’s reminding Rooster of the very real limitations.

“It’s not the plane, sir, it’s the pilot,” Rooster retorts, not backing down.

“Exactly!” Maverick nods, a touch of admiration in his tone.

But then Rooster presses on, undeterred. “There’s more than one way to fly this mission.”

“Roos…” you try to intervene, your voice low but firm, sensing the conversation is escalating. Both of them are getting heated, and you know this is the last place for a confrontation like this. The team can’t afford it.

Rooster doesn't listen. “You really don’t get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back. No offense intended.”

You glance at Hangman, who’s smirking again, that stupid look plastered across his face. You can tell he’s just itching for a fight. Something in him is shifting, like the real Hangman is back—reckless, arrogant, and determined to push every button he can find.

“Yet somehow, you always manage,” Bob mutters from the side, always quick to throw in a jab when Hangman’s involved.

“Look, I don’t mean to criticize. You’re conservative, that’s all,” Hangman says, his voice dripping with condescension. You know he really means every word. There’s no subtlety in his tone.

“Lieutenant,” Maverick tries again, his voice tight, trying to stop this before it goes any further. But Hangman doesn’t stop.

“We’re going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot’s ever seen. Not even him. There’s no time to be thinking about the past.” Hangman says it, looking straight at Rooster. The words hit hard, and in that moment, something clicks inside you. Hangman knows about Goose. How the hell did he find out? You don’t know, but it’s clear he’s using that information to twist the knife, to get under Rooster’s skin.

Rooster’s jaw tightens, his body rigid as he leans forward. “What’s that supposed to mean?” His voice is controlled, but the anger is simmering just beneath the surface. You can feel it, the way his fists clench at his sides. You know exactly where this is headed, and you’re ready to step in before it completely derails.

“You better stop talking, Hangman,” you warn, your voice low and steady. You’ve seen this play out too many times, and you know Hangman’s about to push all the wrong buttons.

“Rooster.” Maverick tries, his voice low and firm, trying to cut through the tension, but neither of them is backing down. The atmosphere is charged, like it’s moments from exploding.

“I can’t be the only one who knows Maverick flew with his old man,” Hangman continues, his smirk widening. He knows exactly what he’s doing. The room goes deathly quiet, and you can feel the weight of the words hanging in the air. He’s digging at something deep, something raw, and you know it’s hitting harder than anyone realizes.

“Lieutenant, that’s enough,” Maverick’s command is sharp, his voice laced with authority, but Hangman’s not done.

“Or that Maverick was flying when his old man…” Hangman trails off, letting the words hang there, teasing the tension to a breaking point. You can feel Rooster’s body vibrating with rage, and you know—this is it. The dam is about to break.

You brace yourself. It’s about to get ugly, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it now. 

Rooster gets up of his chair and grabs Hangman by the collar, ready to punch him in the face. Luckily, the rest of the team reacts quickly enough to stop them. From the corner of your eye, you see Mickey leap over the chairs in front of him, moving fast to get to Hangman before the situation escalates further. You’ll definitely owe him a drink for that later. Maverick is already between them, his presence commanding as he tries to defuse the chaos. You grab Rooster by the arm, pulling him back, while the others step in, each of them doing their best to separate the two.

“That’s enough,” Maverick shouts. 

“You’re a disgusting piece of shit.” You say getting closer to him, but Bob grabs you before you can do something crazy.  

“You son of a bitch!” Rooster shouts. You’ve never seen him this angry.  

“I’m cool. I'm cool. Hey, hey,” says Hangman, smiling. He’s a complete idiot.  

“That’s enough.” 

“He’s not cut out for this mission,” Hangman says, looking at Maverick with that insufferable, proud smile. “You know it. You know I’m right.”

Maverick’s gaze hardens, but he doesn’t respond. Instead, he gives a sharp command, “You’re all dismissed.”

You leave the room faster than everyone else, your heart racing. You’re almost running now, not caring if anyone notices. You just need space, away from him, away from all that tension.

But then you see it—Hangman, strolling toward the locker room, that same arrogant swagger in his step. Your pulse quickens, and without thinking, you follow him. You don’t stop to second-guess yourself. You walk in right behind him, determined.

"Hangman!" Your voice cuts through the silence, sharp and commanding.

He turns, that ridiculous grin still plastered on his face. “Woah, Reb, what’s up?” he asks, acting like everything’s just fine. It’s a challenge. You can feel it in the way he looks at you. He’s not expecting what’s coming next. The slap on his face leaving him staring, eyes wide, with a look of complete confusion.

“If you just think about Rooster’s father ever again, I swear to God it will be ten times worse the next time.”  

“What are you gonna do? Tell Daddy that some kid is being bad with your friend?” Hangman’s mocking tone hurts more than anything. You feel the disappointment in your heart, twisting it. Did you really think that someone like Hangman could change? How stupid.

“I told you, he might be my father, but he doesn’t want me to be here.” You say it again, like somehow repeating it will make it feel true, will make the ache in your chest go away.

Hangman smirks, not missing a beat. “That doesn’t mean you don’t have privileges, Little Mav. Everyone here’s noticed.”

His words twist in your stomach, heavy and cold. “They... know?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper, as if hoping he’s wrong.

“Yes. Everyone knows. It’s not that hard to see. The attitude, the way he talks to you, how you do the exact same things. You’re just like your father.”

His words hit you like a slap. They don’t sting at first, but they settle into you, sharp and unforgiving. The room feels smaller, suffocating, and before you can stop it, your throat tightens. "I’m not like him," you say, your voice trembling, and the tears threaten to fall, burning your eyes.

You can’t be like him. You won’t be like him. It’s something you’ve fought against for years, something you’ve buried deep. Maybe you’re reckless, maybe you’ve got the same passion for flying, the same natural skill that comes with the Mitchell name, but you refuse to be anything like Pete Mitchell. You don’t pull rank, you don’t ignore the people who care about you for your own ego. You don’t dismiss someone’s dreams just because you think you know what’s best.

You are nothing like him.   

“You sure? ‘Cause the way I see it, you’re just daddy’s little troublemaker.” Hangman’s words slice through the air, bitter and cruel.

You stand there for a moment, heart pounding, and try to hold onto some semblance of control. How did we get here? Yesterday, everything was different. Yesterday, there was laughter, lightheartedness... today, it feels like a punch to the gut.

“I thought you were different. I thought you were being nice to me because you wanted to be my friend,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper, the hurt seeping through.

He looks at you, but not in the way you want him to. His gaze flicks all over your face, anywhere but into your eyes. His jaw tightens, his posture stiffens. He doesn’t want to let you see how much you’re affecting him. You almost wish he would look you in the eye, to show some kind of emotion. But instead, he just stands there, the distance between you growing with every passing second.

“Thanks, but I don’t need your friendship,” Hangman mutters, his words sharp, like they were meant to hurt.

It’s like a wall between you now. You can feel it—this sudden, impossible distance. You take a step closer, not even thinking about the consequences anymore. For a second, you’re both breathing the same air, so close that you can almost feel the heat of his skin. Your heart aches, but you don’t back down.

How did we end up like this? The question lingers in your mind, unanswered, because you know what’s happening. Yesterday was so different. So good. And now… now, everything feels like it's falling apart.

His eyes finally meet yours, but they’re empty, distant. His walls are up, and you're left with nothing but the echoes of what could have been.

“When you end up alone, and nobody gives a shit about you, you will regret every single decision you’ve ever made. Nobody will ever love you,” you snap, the words leaving your mouth before you can stop them. There’s a coldness in your chest now, something sharp, something that feels like it’s been building up for a while.

His response is quick, flat. “I don’t need love.”

You laugh bitterly, though it’s not a laugh at all. "Yeah... love is for the living people. And you're dead on the inside.” The words hang in the air between you, heavy and final, like the weight of everything you just realized.

Without another word, you turn and walk away. Each step feels like it takes you further from the person you thought he was, and further into something you can’t quite explain. The tears come suddenly, hot and unbidden, streaking down your face before you can stop them. They blur your vision, making everything around you seem fuzzy and distant, like you’re in a dream.

You don’t look back. You don’t need to. You already know that nothing will ever be the same again.

Jake watches as Y/n walks away, her shoulders trembling slightly, and he feels a knot tighten in his chest. She doesn't turn back. The sting of the words he said to her lingers in the air, and for a brief moment, he wishes he could take it all back. But the damage is done. And just like that, his heart sinks further.

He was so wrapped up in the tension with Rooster that he didn't consider how his words would affect her. Y/n and Bradshaw, they were always a package deal. They had been since they were kids, thick as thieves, tied together by something deeper than just friendship. If you hurt one of them, you hurt them both. And Jake just fucked that up in the worst possible way.

He knows he should’ve shut his mouth. He knows that much. But here he is, standing in the wreckage of his own making. He’s been trying to avoid facing the truth, trying to keep his distance, but the truth has a way of catching up with you—like a punch to the gut. His red cheek burns, not just from the slap he deserved, but from the weight of his own guilt.

Jake never meant to hurt her. That’s the kicker. He never meant to push her away or make her cry. But here he is, powerless to fix it. Every time he thinks about going after her, every time he thinks of apologizing, he freezes. There are no simple words, no magic that can make this right. Years of bitterness, resentment, and his own damn pride are between them now. And he doesn't know how to tear down that wall.

When did things get this complicated? When did the world become a minefield? And when did he—Jake Seresin, the guy who couldn’t give a damn about anything—become the kind of man who cares?

When did he fall for her? That’s the question he keeps circling. He’d been in denial about it for so long. It wasn’t supposed to happen. He had a reputation to maintain. But when he walked into the briefing room this morning and saw Y/n sitting there, looking more vulnerable than he’s ever seen her, something inside him snapped. The sharpness of her fear was there, clear as day, and he felt a pull he couldn’t ignore. He wanted to do something. Talk to her. Touch her. Comfort her. Because as much as she acts like she has it all together, he knows better. She’s scared—scared for the mission, scared for Rooster, scared for herself. She doesn’t show it much, but Jake can see it.

He knows what’s coming. Rooster will be leading this mission. Y/n will be flying. The two of them will be out there, facing a world where only the best make it home. And Jake’s mind can’t stop turning. He knows Rooster is a great pilot. But that doesn’t mean he’s ready. He needs to move past the book, past the fear, or someone will die because of it. Y/n doesn’t need that weight on her shoulders. She’s reckless, yeah, but she’s not stupid. She knows what’s at stake, and if Rooster can’t rise to the occasion, she’ll be right there, doing everything she can to save him. And that thought terrifies Jake.

He doesn’t know if he can protect her. But he knows he has to try.  

Jake leans against the wall, his mind racing. He's been so wrapped up in his own issues, so caught up in trying to get under Rooster's skin, that he didn’t even stop to consider the fallout. And now? Now he realizes he might've just crossed a line he can't undo. He’d been trying to get under Rooster’s skin, sure—but if anything, all he did was push Y/n away. And he knows her too well to think she’ll just brush it off.

He needs to fix this. He has to fix this.

Jake's eyes narrow as he thinks back to everything he’s said to her in the past few days, to all the times he made a snide comment about Rooster, to the way he tried to rile him up in the briefing room. All of that—it wasn’t just messing with Rooster anymore. It was messing with her, too. And that, he can't stand. Y/n deserves better. She doesn’t need this. Not from him.

He thinks about how she looked when she walked out, eyes full of hurt, a sharp contrast to the fire she usually carries. That image burns into his mind—her turning away from him, the door slamming behind her. And that's when it hits him: the only reason he’d ever cared enough to get under anyone’s skin, the only reason he’d ever been so reckless in his words, is because somewhere deep down, he’s terrified. Terrified of what Y/n means to him. Terrified of what would happen if he really let himself care.

But it's not just about him anymore. It's about her. It's about fixing this mess he made, even if he doesn't have all the answers. He doesn't know how to make it right, but damn it, he's going to try.

Jake rubs a hand over his face, muttering under his breath. He can’t just keep pretending like he doesn’t care. That’s exactly what he’s been doing—and it’s been a disaster. The mission, the stakes—hell, all of it would be easier if he didn't have to deal with these feelings. But he’s done pretending. If he doesn’t tell her how he feels, how he really feels, before she goes up there—before this mission even starts—he’s going to regret it for the rest of his life.

Y/n’s not just any teammate. He realized long ago that she could be his everything if he allowed it, in a way that scares the hell out of him. But there’s no more running from it. He doesn’t need to be a damn hero on this mission. What he needs is to be honest. About everything. About her. About him. About the way his heart beats a little faster when she’s around, about the way his chest tightens when she’s in danger, about how he’d give anything to make her smile again, to make things right.

He has no idea if she’ll listen. He has no idea if she’ll even want to talk to him after the mess he’s made. But he knows one thing: he can’t let her go up there without telling her how he feels.

Jake stands up straighter, determination setting into his bones. He’s not going to let his girl go into that sky without making it clear that she means everything to him.

The mission is important, yes. But if Y/n doesn’t come back, none of it will matter.

And Jake Seresin isn't about to let that happen without telling her what’s in his heart.

[drewsephrry]

Congrats on 2k 🥳

Could I pls get 💋 - Blurb for the song “Us” by James Bay

JJ x fem cause it’s such a sweet song and I can’t help but imagine a million JJ scenarios when I hear this 🥰

Thanks I appreciate it !!

thank you so much lovie and thank you for requesting!!🤍🤍

2k celebration!!!

warnings: none, i think

words: 730

There was a time when JJ Maybank’s life was simpler. Golden afternoons spent tearing through the streets of the island with his best friends, cinema nights learning the art of stolen kisses and reckless dreams of freedom. Back then, he believed they’d never grow up, never face the kind of wreckage that leaves you beaten, broken, and searching for answers. But life has a way of unraveling the things you hold most dear.

Now, JJ was struggling to find his footing in a world that felt heavier with each passing day. The laughter had faded, replaced by the echoes of old fights and regretful conversations. He’d tried to move on, tried to drown out the noise. But even through the chaos, through the riots of his mind and the wreckage of his heart, he could still hear your voice.

“JJ, you don’t have to do this alone.” Your words had been soft, steady, and filled with something he didn’t think he deserved. Hope.

“You don’t get it.” He snapped, his voice rough. “You can’t fix me. No one can.”

“I’m not trying to fix you.” You said, your voice breaking just enough for him to notice.

“I just want you to let me in. Let me help.” You confessed.

But JJ didn’t know how. For so long, he’d carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, believing it was his burden alone. He’d been the fighter, the protector. But it had left him scarred and afraid to trust in anything, especially love.

He pulled his hoodie tighter against the cool ocean breeze, his gaze fixed on the horizon. The sun was sinking low, painting the sky in fiery streaks of orange and pink.

It reminded him of better days. Days when life felt endless, the streets were paved with gold, and he believed in something more. But there was no going back. All he could do now was face what lay ahead.

You found him there, sitting on the dock, the weight of the world evident in the way his shoulders sagged. You didn’t say anything at first, just sat beside him, your presence grounding him.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” You murmured finally, your voice calm but probing.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” He admitted, his voice cracking under the strain. “I don’t know how to keep fighting when everything feels so… broken.” Your hand found his, your fingers threading through his with a familiarity that soothed him.

“You’re not broken, JJ. You’re just… lost. But that’s okay. We’ll figure it out together.” You exclaimed as JJ laughed bitterly, shaking his head.

“You make it sound so easy. But it’s not. It’s never been easy for me.” He revealed.

“No.” You agreed, your gaze unwavering. “It hasn’t. But you’ve always kept going. Even when things got hard. Even when you felt like giving up. That’s what makes you, you.” He wanted to believe you, to believe in your unwavering faith in him, but the doubts still lingered.

“What if I let you down? What if I can’t be what you need?” He murmured.

“The only thing I need is for you to try. To stop running from the people who care about you. To believe in something, even when it’s hard.” You leaned closer, your voice a whisper that cut through his defenses. For a moment, neither of you spoke. The sound of the ocean filled the space between you, a steady rhythm that mirrored the quiet war raging inside him.

“I don’t know how to be in this world.” He admitted finally, his voice raw. “How to breathe and not feel like I’m drowning.”

“You don’t have to figure it all out at once. Just… start with me. Start with us.” Your grip on his hand tightened, your words resolute. He looked at you then and in your eyes, he saw hope and adoration. As the sun set, leaving you both in the dark, JJ felt something shift inside him. Maybe it wasn’t about having all the answers. Maybe it was about finding the courage to let someone in, even when it was scary.

“Okay.” He said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll try.”

And as the night closed in around you, JJ realized that, for the first time in what felt like forever, he didn’t feel so alone.

A/N: hope you liked this and was something you had in mind!!

[incorrectgliyeraba]

"and glinda in gowns, waiting to be good enough to deserve what she gets"

in another life you were my babe / in another life you were the sunshine of my lifetime / what would you trade the pain for? i'm not sure so much (for) stardust // fall out boy // twice the dreams / but half the love / be careful what you bottle up / the chemistry is a mess, it seems / but me i'm still a sunbeam heaven, iowa // fall out boy // i've got all this love i've got to keep to myself / all this effort to make it look effortless flu game // fall out boy // things don't feel the same like they did back then but i, i don't mind / the past don't mean shit to me, shit to me, shit to me... / (now that's a lie) oceans // frank iero // time is luck and i wish ours overlapped more or for longer / orange leaves bore the ones falling off trees / the first time i took the mask off, just had another one on underneath baby annihilation // fall out boy // you are my favorite what if / you are my best i'll never know fourth of july // fall out boy // woke up on the wrong side of p-paradise / and when i say i'm sorry i'm late / i wasn't showing up at all / i really mean i didn't plan on showing up at all / don't you, don't you, don't you know / i hate all my friends, i miss the days when i pretended / i hate all my friends, i miss the days when i pretended with you / i miss the days when i pretended with you, with you wilson (expensive mistakes) // fall out boy // we're the new face of failure / prettier and younger, but not any better off / bulletproof loneliness / at best, at best i'm like a lawyer with the way i'm always trying to get you off (me & you) // fall out boy // ever since we met / i've got just one regret to live through / and i regret never letting you know! nearly witches (ever since we met...) // panic! at the disco // "yeah, it's cool, i'll be okay" / as i felt your pain wash over me / so i dry your eyes and hide my shakes / 'cause i hate the look that's on your face joyriding // frank iero // well you built up a world of magic / because your real life is tragic / yeah you built up a world of magic brick by boring brick // paramore // and then she said she can't believe / genius only comes along / in storms of fabled foreign tongues / tripping eyes, and flooded lungs / northern downpour sends its love northern downpour // panic! at the disco // it's a campaign of distraction / (distraction) / revisionist history, oh! / (and revisionist history) / it's a shame, i don't think that they'll notice / (it's a shame, i don't think that they'll notice) / it's a shame i doubt they even care / (it's a shame, i don't think that they care) / no one is to know about this ghost man on third // taking back sunday // there's blood on my hands / like the blood in you / some things can't be treated / so don't make me, / don't make me be myself around you blood on my hands // the used // if i smile with my teeth / bet you believe me / if i smile with my teeth / i think i believe me fake happy // paramore // and i'm yours 'til the earth starts to crumble and the heavens roll away / i'm struggling to exist with you and without you, yeah bishops knife trick // fall out boy

[musashi]

hi your franmaya video was awesome i love the sheer sincerity of it all!!! it's so cool!!! makes me wanna ramble about the things i love for ever and ever!!

thank you so much! sincerity is my greatest priority. i understand why a lot of media analysis plays itself as cool and detached, as that kind of demeanour lends itself better to debate / being taken seriously in ones' point, but i made the decision early on to not bother with optics in that regard. i'm not debating with anyone, i'm just sharing my feelings because i feel them so very hard and i want everyone else to feel like they can feel theirs too!!!! im sick of irony poisoning and the lack of earnestness in the current media landscape. i want to love loudly and wholly! and i want people who love loudly and wholly to speak their own truths!!!!

it makes me so happy you feel inspired! that is exactly why i do things the way i do! i hope you find your people to ramble to, whether it be friends of your own or an audience on social media! you deserve to ramble and gush and love!!!

[sheigarche]

hey i really enjoy reading your jossam headcanons. I was wondering if you have any specifically to do with jealousy. i can't help but imagine sam having a bf in high school and how josh would react to that. And any other jealousy headcanons you have.

Hi, I had to hold myself back from writing a literal fanfic about them here 😅

But here it is:

I think Josh would get jealous without even realizing it. He would see Sam with a guy and immediately dislike him. Find fault in his behavior and say things like "Sam deserves better." And he wouldn't understand why no one else would see his point.

Of course, that's when he's watching from afar.

If Josh has to hang out with his group of friends and Sam and her boyfriend are there, he'd try to be polite, but occasionally hit him with some harmless passive-aggressive comments.

And if someone points out that Josh is jealous he'd look confused "Of course not. I just can't stand my friend making a stupid mistake."

Sam being jealous would be a little different. Seeing someone flirting with Josh would make her uncomfortable, but she's not the type to talk to anyone about it, just ignore it and move on.

But if she sees Josh flirting back, then she would be in a bad mood all the time, but never reveal why. And if anyone asks her, she would just make up an excuse, "I'm cool. Just not in the mood for parties." or something along those lines.

If the girl try to be nice to her (because she's Josh's friend huh 👀) Sam would make no effort to be polite and just distance herself. She's not obvious, of course, but she's not subtle either.

Their confrontation about it, though, would play basically the same in both cases:

One of them would pull the other aside to talk alone and it would be the cliché mess of "What do you think you're doing?", "I don't know what you're talking about!" and it would lead nowhere until one of them lets slip a little bit of their feelings for the other and makes everything click.

With many possibilities of what could happen next 😏

[cryptidcraab]

tadc episode 4 spoilers, that's the whole post

Kinger why are you giving them your shift

there's a stupid burger with the sauce that makes you stupid

Gangle can be terrifying if you're stupid

GUMMIGOO IS BACK AND ONE OF HIS DUDES ORDERED AN ADULT TOY AT THE BURGER PLACE

well that's heartbreaking they don't know each other

Ragatha wants to get flirted with

Happy gangle is terrifying

Stupid Burger is a breakfast thing?

Gloink bus

Bowl of cereal, 31 cent "meat" 300 cheeseburgers

All the gloinks have names

I'm feeling an emotion over the alligator candy man

Gangle made a sbahj face

Spudsys looks like a Roblox game

Gangle deserves to launch a webcomic

Happy gangle is actually frightening

Ragatha still ate the stupid burger

Zooble deserves a raise forever

Gangle lets them huff paint on break?

Ragatha had horses?

I would build gangle a blanket fort, I love her.

Gangle deserves a blanket fort

Gloink reproduction apparently has a lot of stuff to learn and most of it is bad

I want to blend that purple fuckeroni into a fine paste

Gangle deserves so so much better

They should really make a spudsys Roblox game

Kissing gangle gently on all of her at least 3 foreheads

They gave jax a car

Ragatha took too much stupid sauce

Gangle looks like a fever feels

Pomni looks like a cool human person lmao

HELL YEAH GANGLE, STAND UP FOR URSELF!!

me when I believe I truly work at the burger place and the allied teethmouth computer isn't just making me larp to stay sane (or I'm just REALLY into the burger roleplay)

Gangle can fucking GO!!! HELL YEAH!!

oh I'm not sure what the truck is about

She got isekaid into performance review

Will wood? (I do not THINK it was will wood?)

Kinger gets an A+, he did good

Gangle is depressed again

Caine has provlems

Oh god I'm sorry gangle

Zooble and gangle are great, spindly upset interchangeable guys

[trinitythewolf]

Thank you I feel like most people forget that Jerry is also in the wrong he’s not as bad as the other three, but he still does bad things like he knew about Bill being Greedo 318 instead of telling Josh the moment the club was broken he tells Josh and Pete because Bill was bullying both of them but mostly bullying Josh He tells them. Bill reveals that he did something wrong to him so he decides to get back at him by exposing his secret to his so-called friends 

As much as I love Jerry , he’s still an asshole and also if you notice in the epilogue, the other three was kind of uncomfortable being around each other Josh and Pete not wanting to be around Bill and Bill ready to leave because they know they can’t stand each other instead of Jerry just understanding and letting Bill probably leave and just sticking to the original plan. But they just talking to Josh and Pete he instead  and bribe them with food  and completely overlook  that they are uncomfortable  being around each other or just being around Bill 

Even though he did tell them, they thought they ground up instead of them just deciding to do the grown-up thing and leave they stick around even though they know what happens when all four of them are around  mainly bill. I think of bill left it would’ve been fine. Jerry has gotten better, but he still has some problems. I mean he goes to therapy and another thing about Jerry He tells people last minute I know damn well he did not tell Pete and Josh that Bill was going to be joining and he definitely didn’t tell Mandi that Bill was going to be there. 

Like look at her face here she looks so uncomfortable and then we all know what happens next. Bill goes on his sexist rant, and then cause a riot even though he did try to apologize, it was kind of still shitty of him.  but also, Jerry didn’t mention at all that he invited his girlfriend or didn’t even tell them that he had a girlfriend I guess he just assume that they were going to be all cool but the moment they started making those sexist or rude comments about women he should’ve put two pieces together and should’ve told them that he invited his girlfriend or should’ve been more vocal when they were saying sexual things about her when they first saw her  Also, my question is, did Jerry just blame everything on Bill because when Mandy is around Josh and Pete she doesn’t seem uncomfortable that I’m dumb. Did Jerry only talk bad about Bill and not about how Pete was or Josh I mean Josh earns a bit of  pity, because he got the most shit from the club, but they’re not angels too.

Like only saying guys guys, come on guys when you’re old friends who treated you like shit is sexually talking about your girlfriend right in front of you Mandi didn’t deserve that and she definitely didn’t deserve to get stuck in a riot  I wish Jerry would speak up more, and he did speak up, but in the wrong kind away like starting a fight with Bill, and then telling Josh and Pete at the worst time that bill was greedo 318  and what was so important about Agnes that made him lash out like that did he really like her? Do you want to be with her? Did he dream about their future marriage and life and family will never know sadly  but I just think it’s crazy that Jerry did that start a fight with Bill over a girl he hasn’t talk to in over 10 years in front of his girlfriend 

He’s so stupid but I love him also sorry if this is long, I just really wanted to talk about this 

Jerry Stokes sins

I was a bit tired of seeing the purification/watered down jerry the fandom portrays, so i wanted to make a small compilation of stuff he did to show that he isnt some sweet little angel, but rather just a teenage boy who is easy to manipulate, beware this is all a loser rant and should not be taken seriously, i have not seen the light of day in years

(Ps : thanks to @lame4dogz for the idea :3)

⚠️eltingville club comic spoilers⚠️

Exhibit A :

objectification of women

In various occasions we get to see Jerry thinking of real women in a sexual light, of course this can be just normal teenage boy actions, "boys will be boys" but only because its normal doesnt mean its right, so ill judge him for it

Since the first comic ever of the eltingville we get to see this behavior from him, starting with Tasha Yar

Later on we see him using Bettie Page trading cards, this of course can be excused since Bettie is a notorious sex symbol and very open about sexual themes, but owning a playboy magazine and saying "well the models knew what they were modeling for!!" Doesnt make your hands any less dirty

Here he is reading a comic of a character named "vulvanella", same comic that was shown on a separate drawing from Evan Dorkin, it is very obvious she was created for sexual purposes, plus he added that female characters "its" arent good without their costume

Lastly and my biggest proof of this exhibit is this panel from "The marathon men", there was nothing sexual going on, and yet Jerry found a way to turn the situation around.

Exhibit B :

Ignoring or joining in the bullying of josh

This exhibit is pretty much the same for all panels so im not gonna get very into it, but i do need to recall that i understand the peer pressure jerry may have gone through, and how some times he questioned if what they were doing was too much or too cruel, but did he ever do anything to fix it? Did he ever apologize or try to satnd up for Josh, not really, having the intention but doing nothing about it doesnt make you a better person, some panels showing this behavior from jerry are the following :

Exhibit C :

Jerry's biggest sin

This one i remark to be the worst thing jerry has ever done, something so huge that he kept for so so long, and that is...

The true identity of GREEDO318

Bill

This is something he could have brought up at any time, yet he didnt, every single time Josh kept ranting about the back and forth battles with GREEDO318, he kept his mouth shut, this is not him trying to save his own ass, this is him ignoring the constant bullying and abuse josh goes through online, this is something i will forever claim is his biggest sin ever.

thank u guyz for staying in my ted talk i hope u liked ittt i love jerry so much he is so silly :3

[aromanticannibal]

so funny to me that there are genuinely people trying to defend wish

[mythtakens]

“these characters should be mentally healthy before they get together 😌” ummm no I actually think we should smash their mental illnesses together like clumps of play-doh and see what colors it makes