#like come on that’s such a good Seinfeld premise

[madelynel09]

I managed to dream up a completely new episode of Seinfeld a few weeks ago and I’m still chasing that high.

[consistentsquash]

HP Fic Recs! Snapecase Sunday!

Check out Snapecase! The fest is still going on. Lots of Snape centric fics/art! I didn't get the time to read everything but I got some recs from my reading. Definitely check out the fest for yourself.

5 fav fics with 5 different vibes.

Candles Lit Against the Dark

Pairing - McGonagall/Grubbly Plank.

Length - 11000 words

Vibe - Feel good with a happy ending. BANTER!!!!

Author's summary - It's been a few months since Minerva's retirement, and she'd promised Wil a dinner out. Before she knows it, friends start turning up on her doorstep and then at the pub, not least among them a certain spy who came in from the cold.

Rec - READ THIS! The longest fic of the fest iirc. But also the best! My favorite fic of 2023 so far!! Don't miss this fic! I love literally everything about it. The prose, the really sharp banter, the characterizations, the dynamics of their relationships. A lot of times we get to see the postwar setting when stuff is really raw or when they sort of got over it. This fic has a really low stakes premise of a retirement party but the undercurrents of their history/war is super present. The writing has this really precise balance where it feels light but it is at the same time dealing with tons and tons of complicated PTSD and messy baggage. ALSO SNARRY! Technically background Snarry but not really. It's right in your face. McGonagall's face I mean! :D :D ALSO THE BANTER! Sorry but not sorry! This is an ALL CAPS SCREAMING fic. Some real Seinfeld moments with the sharp banter.

Vibe quote

Wil wasn't a smirker, but it was a near thing. "Not that our dear old Skunk isn't capable of riding a bucking broom into the nearest cloud all on his own, but I did put the wind up his bristles. The therapeutic effects of working with the herd get raised now and then when we're out on the hillside and Severus is in a receptive mood. Harry being one of our lad's personal Boggarts – not that that's ever been a secret – I thought it worth mentioning his recent distress. Divorce and all. Gave my opinion that somebody ought to nudge the lad into beneficial activity."

Rec note - the fic that made me late for work. No regrets.

Womb

Pairing - gen, Phineas POV

Length - 2900 words.

Vibe - Angst with a happy ending. GENDER!!!

Author's Summary - Phineas revisits the question of legacy.

Rec - a solid premise of Found Family with a twist like A Christmas Carol. Phineas thinks his legacy is over because Sirius is dead. But he starts to accept legacy isn't about blood and "adopts" Snape. I mean. Sort of. Technically he saves Snape. I mean. It's complicated! Read it read it read it!!!! OMG!!!! It's a beautiful and eerie fic with lots of unforgivable magic which you forgive anyway because the motive is love. Also lots of gender. Definitely be careful with this fic if you have some gender dysphoria. It has a lot of detach/remove and some really clever techniques to kind of abstract the harder stuff so it doesn't feel dysphoric but these things can be YMMV. Phineas POV! He is super hard to sympathize with because he's pretty much into the purity thing. But you can definitely see where he is coming from and why/how he changes. ALSO SNARRY PRESLASH??

Rec note - So this fic has some serious Giger vibes. Giger designed the chestburster Alien in the Alien franchise. A strange combo of gender imagery.

Vibe Quote

And out came bursting a stick-shaped, sour-shaped man, bawling as only a newborn could, naked as something sprung from the mother, with pigment smearing him in afterbirth.

Some Semblance of Family

Pairing - gen, Eileen POV

Length - 2200 words.

Vibe - Angst with Glass Onion vibes!

Author's Summary - Eileen returns to Prince House on familial business.

Rec - Hardcore Snape fam angst. Really brilliant/sharp Eileen characterization. Love the character study. Also really loved the world building in the fic! Shortfic but does a lot with the word count! It's going to break your heart.

Vibe quote

Eileen realised that her great uncle was right, that she was wrong, that she had allowed hope, as usual, to poison her, and with a bitter, eldritch shriek, she began unburdening herself of her own searing disappointment.

The Watched Pot

Genfic with Snape POV.

Length - 2100 words.

Vibe - Angst!

Author's Summary -In the aftermath, Severus has no plan other than a potion.

Rec - I don't want to spoil the fic because the suspense is a big part of this fic. It's a brilliant Snape POV fic with super sharp characterization of Eileen and her relationship with her son. Heartbreaking. But ofc it's Snape. That's his thing!

Vibe Quote

"It's an old wives' tale, you know," Eileen says. "What is?" "That a watched pot never boils. Eventually, with enough time and heat, everything boils."

It was Magic

Pairing - Tobias/Eileen

Length - 1100 words

Vibe - SCHEMING!

Author's Summary -Tobias and Eileen's wedding day is the result of a magical connection.

Rec - OMG! This fic! Tobias and Eileen are big little liars!! Lots of intrigue/mystery/complicated motives. But you also feel for them and also feel really scared for their future/Snape's future. Super sharp writing which keeps you guessing nonstop!

Vibe quote

It's a small wedding because neither Tobias nor Eileen have any family, at least, that's what they've told each other.

[koschei-the-ginger]

my conscience simply can't leave a list unfinished so I had to watch all of Cary Elwes' tv appearances as well... Turns out I've already seen much more than the John Paul II movie I had originally known him from.

Seinfield (1996) - Have I ever watched Seinfeld? No. Have I ever seen this episode? Yes. How is that possible? I don't know.

The Pentagon Wars (1998) - not something I'd normally enjoy but it wasn't bad (?

From Earth to the Moon (1998) - don't care, sorry

The Outer Limits (1999) - I recognized the fiancee and the alien immediately so 1) I must have seen this when I was a kid 2) I never recognized him bc I'd have remembered that. This show looks so good I need to watch more

Race against time (2000) - another "I'm sure this was on tv in like 2005 when I was down with the flu" movie

Night Visions (2001) - I don't remember his episode but I definitely have seen A View through the Window before 😭 just like the outer limits I want to watch the whole thing tbh. And that transphobe had it coming??

The Uprising (2001) - another show I've watched before but I was probably too distracted by David Schwimmer to recognize anyone else. The fake Polish accents were a surprise, god, just why? They all spoke English anyway. Also, did they cast him bc he also has a Jewish great-grandmother?

The X-Files (2001) - I jumped from season 2 to season 9 for this post and... he's really good at playing characters you'll just hate immediately. Saved this for the last and watched it on Christmas eve.

The Riverman (2004) - ok so I watched this one in Italian bc it was on youtube and again, why do I feel like I've come across this movie before? The plot boils down to "Ted Bundy wants attention 😟" so it's terrible also the wig he wears at some point is so hilariously bad

Pope John Paul II (2005) - this movie is on tv literally every Holy Saturday, I just wish I could find it in English bc I'm sure their polish is ridiculous. Also maybe don't have a 43-year-old play a character between ages 18 and 58 🥴

Haskett's Chance (2006) - i didn't find this one

Law & Order: SVU (2007) - genuinely surprised he didn't end up being the murderer for once.

Psych (2009-2014) - I had my doubts but this was amazing, Pierre is such a legend

Leverage (2012) - the premise of this show sounds so good on paper but something about the execution just doesn't work

Perception (2012) - don't know what much to say about this one, another late afternoon crime show my sister would be obsessed with

Anna Nicole (2013) - surprisingly decent

Granite flats (2014) - I don't really care about the plot so I only watched 2 episodes

The Art of More (2015) - this show is sooo boring

Life in Pieces (2016) - it wasn't funny enough for a sitcom but he was doing his best

Workaholics (2017) - I take it back, I at least chuckled at Life in Pieces, this one was simply not funny at all

Youth & Consequence (2018) - I'm too old to care about Instagram drama

Andre the Giant (2018) - so I know nothing about wrestling but Andre's life was so fascinating and tragic 😞

Stranger Things (2019) - I will watch anything but stranger things, sorry

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (2019) - Jane Lynch was shining, you'd barely notice he was there

Katy Keene (2020) - this pic is terrifying but I'm not going back to take a new one, also I'm ok with not knowing anything about Riverdale

[give-me-stuff-to-watch]

Watching Stuff Day 8 - 7/14/2023 - Current Streak: 8

For today's thing I watched, I saw the first episode of Seinfeld. It was a bit difficult at first because whenever I heard Jerry Seinfeld's voice, I just pictured Barry B. Benson. It truly does seem to be a show about practically nothing though, they really squeezed a full-length episode out of the premise that a girl may or may not visit Jerry. I am a bit conflicted on the overall message the episode has because it kind of comes off boomer-humorish. And I can't tell if that's because it is an older show and it's all meant genuinely or if it was written with awareness because I've seen people describe it as a show about kind of horrible people you still somewhat relate too. I'm leaning more towards it being the latter on the case for this episode because of the contrast between the beginning of the episode presenting the idea that you can near 100% read a woman's feelings and intentions based off of subtle details, the end of the episode presenting the idea of women being impossible to read, and the actual reality of it which seemed to be if Jerry had actually just properly communicated with Laura instead of treating women like an entirely separate group that you have to put work into to read, he would've understood where he stood with her and what the plan was.

I don't know if that's just me trying to read to much into it from a current perspective though. Because when the Seinfeld characters made the boomer-humoresque jokes about understanding women, the laugh track seemed to imply that you were supposed to take it more at face value. Or maybe that wasn't the intention of the writers, and they were still just finding their footing when writing about characters who aren't the best people since this is only the pilot. I'll probably figure it out as I get more exposure to the show, since it seems like a good one to just throw on as background noise for a bit until I get a better idea of what it's going for.

The main thing that seems to separate Seinfeld from other sitcoms so far is its format of cutting between the events of the episode, and Jerry's in universe stand-up routine. I found the stand-up bits in this episode to be pretty hit or miss, but did particularly enjoy the physical comedic mannerisms they were acted out with. I think the physical/visual comedy aspects of the show is one of the areas it's strongest in. One bit I particularly liked was how the extras in the laundromat eavsedropping started paying more and more attention to Jerry and George's conversion the weirder it got. That was a nice small touch.

Overall, it was alright. Got some laughs from me even if it was a bit dated. Probably going to use it as background noise for a bit unless it gets a lot worse.

[infinitelycomplexpuzzles]

// When people ask me 'why do you hate Neil Gaiman he's written so many deep things' it's because of stuff like this.

See, he wrote this like 30 years ago, and it feels poignant and deep and makes you go 'yeah that was great, things were better before' but in reality he's shitting on you for liking things being that way, and we know that because he then spent thirty years making things much worse than they had been before.

I use as an example Kid Eternity, a kid whose superpower was 'I summon people from the past to fight crime' and Gaiman remade him as a kid who was molested by his grandfather and shit like that, because Gaiman is a humorless, sad, shell of a man who cannot imagine anyone feeling joy or contentment without their life being and endless parade of shit.

It's why all his characters come out exactly the same, and why all his universes are drab, humorless, depressing places, where everything is decaying or dying, and everyone just sorta sits around waiting to die. He's the Motel 66 of writers, essentially. Everything is depressing, it's never getting better, and if you're there, you're basically just waiting for the end.

This is also why I think Sandman is hot garbage, because it's the Seinfeld of comics, a story about nothing. It's about a character who ends the story the same as he began it, who spends his time chasing things only to then go 'eh, I didn't need this stuff I got in hell anyway.' Bored apathy and surrender to misery is not interesting as a concept.

The dude wants so badly to write 'Of Mice and Men' or 'The Grapes of Wrath' or any number of depression era stories about hardship but he can't grasp that the core idea underpinning those stories is that human beings are trying to be better people. If everyone in 'Of Mice And Men' was actively trying to be apathetic and awful, the entire reason it's a tragedy falls apart.

And so I go back to this. He's trying to write this like he's lamenting how things have changed, but he's actually saying that you are lame for hating that they've changed, because this ends with the Riddler debuting his new costume and identity.

I fundamentally do not understand why people think his writing is good or poignant, because all of it is premised on a very gen-x idea of pretending you don't care while actually caring very deeply that everyone thinks that the stuff that came before it was better, because the stuff that came before it was better, because unlike all the stuff produced by the Gaimans and Moores of the world, those people genuinely gave a shit and we're trying to not give a shit while giving all the shits.

Some people if they had a time machine would go back and kill hitler. Me, I'd stop like every comic creator from 1980 to 1992 from being allowed to write comics, because they ruined the entire industry with this 'too cool for school' crap.

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/8/2022: HELLRAISER (2022)

I think this movie is shining a light on the difference between how horror fans judge modern movies versus older ones, and perhaps especially versus the films of their childhood. I feel like I'm seeing a lot of responses from viewers who were immediately hung up on the glibly-deployed elements of addiction and recovery in HELLRAISER 2022, and so found themselves unable to engage with anything else in the movie. Personally…I just didn't take it so personally, and it occurred to me that I've never heard anyone complain about the ludicrous portrayal of mental illness and autism in HELLRAISER II, or the specter of incest that haunts HELLRAISER '87, and I could easily branch out into other much-adored movies that are not too socially-just, but that remain cozily swaddled in nostalgia, loved and forgiven. Maybe there's a feeling that newer movies should know better, coming as they do from an enlightened era of being fully informed about the suffering of others via the educational power of the internet, and therefore taking everything as seriously as possible. Maybe that makes modern viewers feel like it's too late to correlate the scourge of addiction with the quest for experience sought through the lament configuration. I mean, everybody has a right to their reactions and I think it's culturally healthy for even a really great work of art to take a few slings and arrows, to keep us all off autopilot. But I think that holding the human grist in HELLRAISER to the standards of neorealist drama is sort of missing the point of a movie like this—which is, of course, the cenobites.

And the cenobites are great! Director David Bruckner gives good monster yet again, having delivered a fabulous beast in 2017's THE RITUAL, and true to the spirit of 2020's THE NIGHT HOUSE, he shows a refined understanding of infernal geometry. David S. Goyer joins the screenwriters of the latter movie, Ben Collins and Luke Piotrowski, to set up a plot about a rich pervert (Goran Visnjic) who has a typically disappointing transaction with the cenobites, and so he manipulates a group of young dirtbags into helping him negotiate a new deal. I guess there are never enough survivors of cenobite commerce for word to get around that they only offer a monkey's paw type of thing, but I don't really care if the characters make a lot of dumb decisions so long as the tradeoff is always that I get to see cenobites.

The story centers on recovering addict Riley (Odessa A'zion, who I just have to mention is one of Pamela Adlon's kids!) who discovers the lament configuration during a robbery planned by her sleazy boyfriend Trevor (Drew Starkey). Riley's lapse of judgement allows the cenobites to make off with her brother (Brandon Flynn), and so Riley and her friends pursue the secrets of the puzzle box to try to save him. While HELLRAISER '22 has been described as a remake and a reboot and a reimagining in various quarters, David Bruckner has been clear that it's, like, just another Hellraiser story. There are a lot of books and comics and movies about all the different people who fall prey to the box's enticements, and it's totally reasonable to just make another one of those based on the series' abundantly flexible premise. Actually, while my husband and I were watching the movie, we started compulsively riffing on all the different things you could do: First we felt like Riley's misadventure with her unlucky friends was just like an episode of Search Party, which made us think about how funny it would be to introduce the lament configuration in other Bad People sitcoms like Seinfeld, or Curb Your Enthusiasm, or It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and then before long we were imagining a whole season of The Rehearsal where Nathan Fielder tries to get a series of unfortunate rubes to open the box for him.

What HELLRAISER '22 offers is not grand insights into human nature, but fun experiments with the basic conceit. The lament configuration is one of the greatest designs in horror to be sure, and yet somehow nobody has ever gone into detail about why it assumes so many shapes. I normally do NOT want a bunch of anal retentive rules and dry explanations added to my horror movies; I find that the less mysterious things are, the less emotionally effective they are. In this case, the coding of each of the box's configurations as representing a different human longing both honors the original lore, and adds complimentary flavors—and speaking of flavor, I'd love it if someone would realize my idea for a breakfast cereal with freeze-dried marshmallow configurations. But anyway, the love of design and its expressive capabilities is laced through the whole movie, from its inventive architecture, to its fabulous new cenobites. A lot of love went into crafting these things, and Jamie Clayton easily earns her place in the expanded scheme of things. Viewers who are too distracted by HELLRAISER '22's tangential references to the real-life horrors have my sympathy, because if you can watch around the corners of that issue, there is much to enjoy.

[getoutofmyjaneway]

Enterprise is also Leaving Netflix. What Should you Watch Before it Boldly Goes Away

So let’s talk about Enterprise shall we? The black sheep of Trek, it is very different from what came before it. And you are right, Enterprise starts off slow.  R e a l l y    s l o w.  Do not let that stop you, Enterprise has a lot to offer! How you can watch depends on how much you have to put into the show:

Option 1 - Long Option

Enterprise is primarily comprised of story arcs in its third and fourth seasons. You can see Star Trek actively starting to transition its’ form of storytelling from usually one- or two-episode stories to the multi-episode to season-long story arcs we typically see in TV today. I will also not be the first to say that Enterprise really blossoms in those two seasons. Because of this, it is really hard to just jump into an episode in the middle of a story arc without being a little lost

Your best option is to watch all of the Xindi story arc and most of the story arcs in season 4.

Start at season 2 episode 26 The Expanse and watch all the way to season 4 episode 21 Terra Prime. This is the true series finally, do not watch These are the Voyages, it is one of the most insulting series finales, like worse than Seinfeld.

Please note that you can skip season 4 episodes 18 and 19 if you don’t like/ are annoyed by the Mirror Universe. These are for-fun episodes that I enjoyed, but I understand are not for everyone. Additionally, season 4 episodes 10 and 11 are not part of any broader story arc, but I would only skip episode 11, Observer Effect. I personally really like episode 10, Daedalus, which gives insight into the history of the Star Trek Universe.

This leaves you with anywhere from 42-46 episodes to watch. Now if that seems like a lot, don’t worry! You can always watch:

Option 2 - Just 10 Episodes

Season 1 Episode 13 - Dear Doctor

Ship's Doctor and resident non-human character Phlox is on Enterprise in a type of exchange program, with a human taking his place on a Denobulan vessel as they strive to learn more about each other's cultures. Phlox writes his human counterpart a 'Data's Day' style letter in which he recounts the adventure of the day. So what's on the menu today? Oh, I don't know, just the origination point of the Prime Directive, you might have heard of that before. 

Season 2 Episode 23 -  Regeneration

Regeneration is a follow-up to the movie, Star Trek First Contact. Yes. I am serious. A group of scientists encounters a crash site where they find Borg corpsickles and so kindly bring them back. This means that the Borg's attack at Wolf 359 was actually a predestination paradox created by the same man who leads the charge against the Borg at that very battle. Yikes. Overall though, a Borg episode was surprisingly appreciated, reminding us that this is overall still a part of the current Star Trek canon.

Season 2 Episode 24 -  First Flight

The point of Enterprise was to give us a glimpse into the early years of human space exploration. While we only saw so much, we did see the beginning of humans traveling at faster than warp speeds. As part of the NX program that spawned Enterprise herself, many tests had to be made to push the maximum possible speed. Of course, being the prolific piolet he was, Archer was there. Making drama.

Season 3 Episode 8 -  Twilight

Enterprise ran into an anomaly that slams into a corridor where Archer and T'Pol are. T'Pol becomes trapped and Archer frees her. This allowed her to escape, but he did not share her fate, being rendered unconscious by the same anomaly. That was 12 years ago. As a result of his injury, he can no long-term memories and Archer has to come to grips with what has been lost during that time. This is my favorite episode of Enterprise, that invokes shades of DS9's The Visitor and Voyager's Year of Hell. In my research, I found out that this was originally pitched as a Voyager story which is now so obvious. The relationship between Archer and T'Pol is never romantic, but you can see the true care they have for each other in their interactions here.

The “Romulan Interference” Arc

Season 4 Episode 12 - Babel One

Season 4 Episode 13 - United

Season 4 Episode 14 - The Aenar

I have decided to select this three-episode arc which is defined by Memory Alpha as the Romulan Interference Arc. By trying to turn the founding members of the federation against each other, the Romulans accidentally created one of their biggest rivals. Oops. Of course, the Romulans are not the main focus, where this really shines is the interplay between the different cultures of the founding races, the humans, Vulcans, Andorians, and Tellarites. You can see that this was originally planned to be long and drawn out, but they did a good job of condensing it into a nice little arc. Andorians are at their best in Enterprise and this is the most in-depth look that we see in the series. Star Trek Legend Jeffery Combs plays Shran and of course he is amazing, his chemistry with Archer is real. As a reoccurring character, this is not the first or last time we see Shran, but probably the most focused look we have on the character.

The “Xenophobic Humans” Arc

Season 4 Episode 3 - Home

Season 4 Episode 20 - Demons

Season 4 Episode 21 - Terra Prime

Another arc here to round off the list. I had originally only planned on placing episodes 20 and 21 here, but as there is setup done earlier in the season, episode 3, so I have also included it here as it contributes to a bigger part of the story. It makes sense after all that people have been through after the Xindi war, there would be pro-isolation groups. Heck, they probably were already there, but it makes sense that here, the tension would grow. It’s kind of ironic that after all of these struggles with alien races, the climax of the series sees a struggle not among aliens, but among humans. As a premise, this is what we all expected of Enterprise, a Coalition among explorers coming together to see what is beyond their shores. This is the true ending of Enterprise.

Again there are multiple ways to watch Enterprise, and again, these are just snippets. I know I left out some episodes that people will probably enjoy like The Expanse, Carbon Creek, or even the pilot Broken Bow (which in my opinion is the best pilot episode in the pre-reboot Star Trek era). This list was composed of episodes that would best give the Enterprise flavor, and in my opinion, the effect of an episode on Star Trek mythology was one of the biggest contributing factors. Would love to know what you think or if there are other episodes that should be added. 

[silentfcknhill]

FAVORITE SHOWS IN POSTERS

Well, we’re back for another installment of this tagged meme, this time for TV shows! I also stole this from/was indirectly tagged by @jcmorrigan. My taste in shows also differs a bit from my taste in movies, as I tend to like a lot of comedy shows with not as many horror ones. I’m not into shows as much as movies overall, but there are some that I am very passionate about so I picked twenty again. So, here we go for part 2, in order:

1. Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend Of Korra (2005-2014)

I'm including these as one show since they take place in the same universe and tell a continuation of the same overall plot. Altogether this is probably the best piece of media to ever exist, including movies. It has so many great characters and villains especially and some of the most epic sequences, charming humor and heartwarming moments ever. I've never met a person who didn't like these shows, even people who normally don't like cartoons. My dad, who is biased against animation? He loved it. My mother? She loved it, watched it with her multiple times. My grandmother? Loved it. My ex-boyfriend? Loved it. My best friend? Loved it. I dare anyone not to, and I'm so glad it's making a resurgence since it's on Netflix for a new generation to enjoy.

2. Black Butler (2008-2014)

I never was big into anime growing up and only really started watching anime when I was like 16 and above, but this is one of the exceptions because holy shit is it ever dark and epic. I'm not sure I'd really recommend it for kids, it's more of a teens and young adults kind of anime and that's probably why it's so good, because it isn't afraid to explore dark and mature topics and do it with all of the intensity and gravitas required to do said topics justice. It has lots of great characters, and the story of demons who make deals with children who have a dark side is fun to watch play out.

3. Seinfeld (1989-1998)

My dad was a huge fan of this show so I watched it growing up since I was a toddler and it became a classic for me. I've watched thw hole show through at least 8 times, and I'll never stop because it never gets old or boring. It's also my only comfort show when I'm having a panic attack because of one time a few years ago when I was having a drug-induced psychosis episode and watching it calmed me down, so now it's like the opposite of a trigger and whenever I'm having an episode or something I watch it to bring me back to reality. For that reason it's more than a show to me, it's a medical treatment and I'm forever grateful to it.

4. The Good Place (2016-2020)

The big four shows made my Michael Schur all made it on this post (The Good Place, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Office and Parks And Recreation), either in the main list of the honorable mentions, but this is my personal favorite of the four. It's so funny, quirky, relatable and basically tailor-made to suit my interests. Not only is it an entertaining and wholesome show, but I think watching it helped me come to terms with a lot of things like mortality, ethics, philosophy, religion and my relationships with other people. It gets  alot of different viewpoints across and if you're a very analytical and philosophical person like me you'll probably enjoy seeing it all play out. Not to mention, every single character is 'favorite character' material. It's rare you find a show with no filler characters in the main cast, but I genuinely can't choose who is best.

5. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013-?)

Another of Michael Schur's shows, this one is just barely under The Good Place and to be honest it was tough to pick my favorite between the two because they're both equally funny. I know it's kind of controversial right now because of the whole law enforcement thing, but I actually think they do a good job of handling social issues in the show and remaining respectful of real-life systemic problems. As for the characters, this is another one of those shows where every single character is gold and I think that tends to be a trend among Schur's shows in general. He produces damn good comedy, and damn good characters. I can't wait to see what they bring next.

6. Rick And Morty (2013-?)

This is unfortunately one of those cases of 'great show, horrible fandom' and for that reason I don't get involved in the fandom even though I love the show. It's a shame because it really is a great show, so funny and, again, such good characters. I think it's a lot more accessible than the fandom likes to claim, so I'm hoping more people will give it a chance and not get put off by the intellectual elitism of the fandom because it does have some of the most entertaining and batshit crazy episodes ever, poking fun of some of the staples of science fiction in media while also poking fun of itself the whole time. Unlike the fandom, the show doesn't take itself seriously and that's enjoyable nowadays.

7. Orange Is The New Black (2013-2019)

While this show is a comedy, it is also a lot of other things and it's probably made me ugly-cry just as many times as it's made me laugh. Well, maybe not as often, but those few scenes (if you've watched the show then you know the ones I'm talking about) made me hysterically sob hard enough to be worth like fifty minor sads. But I didn't even mind because the show is just that good, and it makes you /feel/ something in a real way. Probably because of just how real it gets in terms of telling stories that happen all the time in the real world, sometimes with inevitably tragic endings. But these things do happen every day, and it's important to shine a light on that. It's not just representation for LGBTQ+ but also for POC, the neurodiverse, the poor, and many more. Give it a watch to broaden your perspective!

8. Big Mouth (2017-?)

This is probably the grossest show I've ever seen but by god is it ever funny. Maybe it's because I have an immature sense of humor or something, but I love this show. It definitely won't be everyone's cup of tea and I don't recommend you watch this show with anyone else around because it will get awkward. I think part of its appeal to me is that everyone I talk to who likes it considers it so relatable to their lives growing up but for someone like me who grew up on the autism and asexual spectrum and who was physically an early-bloomer by years, nothing about this show is relatable to me in any way so it makes it all the more crazy and bizarre watching how the people around me must have experienced things. Did y'all really have these experiences with puberty in middle school???

9. Dexter (2006-2013)

I recently heard that this show is coming back for a reboot soon and I'm so excited because this is my absolute favorite drama/thriller show, as evidenced by the fact that it's the highest one on the list so far that isn't a comedy. I love the idea of having a protagonist who is sort of a villain (or at least morally dubious), and the idea of a serial killer who only kills bad people is particularly satisfying for some reason. Maybe because he's the vigilante we all deserve and want in this unjust and evil world of modern times? Idk but the very premise of this show set it up for big things and aside from the ending I think it delivered consistently.

10. Once Upon A Time (2011-2018)

This show took us on some journeys, and you can't deny that. Sure, maybe it didn't always finish what it started and didn't always end in the most satisfying way, but part of its charm is that you didn't care because the experience was just so much fun. They took characters and stories that have been told to death and somehow managed to put a unique and unexpected twist on them, and that alone is admirable. Good twists, good villains, and pretty much every cliffhanger known to man will keep you hooked on binge-watching every episode.

11. RuPaul's Drag Race (2009-?)

A bit different than the other entries on my list in that it's not fiction but a reality competition show, but I couldn't leave Drag Race out because it's just so fucking iconic and perfect. Even when you disagree with the judges or can't stand a certain contestant you'll still be having a good time. It's got the personalities you love to love, the ones you love to hate, and the comedy that's completely meme-able. I mean just how much has this show contributed to pop culture and the internet? More than most of us, henny. I've watched every single season, even the international ones and all of the spinoffs. This show will probably be on for another thirty years when Ru is throwing shade from a hospital bed and I'll still be watching.

12. House (2004-2012)

Some people hate on this show, and I don't get it. I love House. Yes, he's an ass. That's the point. He's supposed to be unlikeable, and that's why I like him. Maybe because I always love the rude, sarcastic, misanthropic jerkass-genius characters for some reason. And I also love procedural shows, so it's a win-win. I also work in the healthcare field so it appeals to me for that reason too, because obviously the whole premise is outlandish which is what makes it funny. Of course it's not realistic for a hospital, so just enjoy the absurdity and don't get too hung up on the details of medical accuracy and professional ethics and you'll be fine.

13. The Office (2005-2013)

The third of Michael Schur's show and the last one that made the main list (sorry Parks And Rec, I love you too but there was just so many good shows to choose from and I saw you last so the nostalgia isn't as strong!) I don't think I need to hype this show up any, it's already a classic and you can't even turn around online without getting hit in the face by a dozen Office memes. You'll have to pry this show and it's relatable characters (especially Michael Scott) from my cold, dead hands.

14. All Hail King Julien/The Penguins Of Madagascar (2008-2017)

Like Avatar/Korra, I also consider this as one show for the sake of this list because it also takes place in the same universe (Madagascar, specifically) and I just couldn't choose one over the other because they're both so perfect. They're funny and I love all the characters (it cut out the weaker links of the Madagascar film series and just focuses on expanding the standout side-characters like King Julien and the penguins). It also delved into some lore, particularly the first show, and even though I didn't also agree with the directions it took (you may have seen me get salty about the ending because I cared too much), I can't deny how much I love it.

15. Bones (2005-2017)

One of the other scarce non-comedy shows on this list, it still has it's funny moments. It's also, like House, another procedural show that involves some medical stuff, but this time on a more scientific and forensic level which is even more interesting. It's nice to see a lead female with Asperger's, too. There's a lot of cop/law enforcement shows where they try to solve crimes, but this one is the best, and I'm saying that as a fan of CSI as well. Don't fight me on this, I'm right. Oh yes, it's corny, it's campy, it's cheesy, but I love every minute of it. Don't watch if you have a weak stomach though.

16. The Simpsons (1989-?)

We all grew up with this show, don't lie. It's been around longer than most people on tumblr have even been alive. Should it have ended seasons ago? Hell yes. But that doesn't take away what the first like 20 or so seasons gave us (there's a lot of argument about when the show jumped the shark, for me it wasn't until much later than the popular consensus). The characters are amazing, but the secret to the show's longevity is that they always return to status quo and there's comfort and nostalgia in that. Bart will still be in 4th grade when you're out there pushing 90. This show is persistent. This show is eternal. This show will outlive us all.

17. Ash Vs. Evil Dead (2015-2018)

Sorely underrated. This show is hilarious, gruesome and campy as hell and I love it. I don't think you necessarily have to watch the Evil Dead movies beforehand in order to get the plot of the show, although it would probably help. In my opinion this show ended way too soon and I'm hoping someday we'll get a comeback because Ash is the reluctant, self-absorbed hero we all need and it's 2020 so at this point there really might actually be a demon-zombie apocalypse and who's gonna save us then if not for the impulsive womanizer with a chainsaw for a hand?

18. Malcolm In The Middle (2000-2006)

Another show I grew up with, I don't think it gets as much credit as it deserves. It has some damn funny episodes and great characters, and it did a lot of the popular sitcom tropes before they were 'cool'. Some other great sitcoms, The Middle in particular, took a lot of influence from this show and it helped pave the way for the future of sitcoms at a time when they were about to make a comeback. If you want a good show about the real experiences of growing up, this is a much more accurate representation of the highs and lows of being an awkward tween from a dysfunctional home.

19. A Series Of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)

Unlike most people I actually liked the movie version from the early 2000's, and I read the books growing up so I was excited when I saw there was a live action television adaptation of it on Netflix because I felt like they cancelled the movie franchise too soon. I was interested to see how new actors would handle the roles, and I was not disappointed. I wouldn't say I liked either portrayal of the characters better or worse, they both added their own twist to it and this show is a great and loyal adaptation to the books, probably because the author was so heavily involved. He knew just when to stick to the books and when to improve upon what he had done with the benefit of hindsight. This show is basically the books, but remastered.

20. Winx Club (2004-?)

Sort of an odd one out on this list, but I really love this show even as an adult and it may surprise you to learn it is still going on and the most recent season came out last year. They take big breaks sometimes in between seasons, but it's still going strong and in multiple countries. The only thing I don't like about watching this show is all the different and inconsistent dubs since the original show is Italian and each dub only goes for a couple seasons so by the time you get used to one set of voices/names for the characters oyu have to abruptly switch to another, but it's still worth it for the beautiful animation and cool characters (especially the villains!)

Honorable Mentions: 

13 Reasons Why, America's Next Top Model, American Horror Story, Arrested Development, Bates Motel, Battlestar Galactica, Black Mirror, Care Bears, Chernobyl, Courage The Cowardly Dog, Criminal, CSI, Duck Dodgers, Goosebumps, Kenny Vs. Spenny, Kim Possible, Kingdom Hospital, Lazytown, Lost, Making A Murderer, Mayday, Mindhunter, Modern Family, Monster High, Obsession: Dark Desires, Parks And Recreation, Prison Break, Project Runway, Queer As Folk, Queer Eye, Salem, Schitt's Creek, SCTV, Spongebob Squarepants, The Emperor's New School, The Good Doctor, The Haunting Of Hill House/Bly Manor, The Middle, The Pretender, The Walking Dead, The X-Files, Through The Wormhole, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Unsolved Mysteries, Yugioh

Tagging: @bullet-farmer​ and anyone else who wants to!

[aydascomprehendsubtext]

Like truly at least four ways this argument is so very silly.

1) Plenty of short shows say more than long shows do especially when it comes to characters. This is about economical storytelling - are there loose plot threads or character traits that never get picked up? It's also about editing - when you add shots together, do they in sequence mean more than they do individually? It's also about costuming and music and set design and character voice etc. The length of episodes is one factor in many many and imo less important than the rest of those by a wide margin

2) Filler episodes can and frequently do cause character regression. I love community deeply but there are many episodes that could be entirely scrapped and leave a show with more coherent characters and a more compelling story. Not to mention badly thought out B or C plots in otherwise strong episodes. You probably simply don't consider those canon traits - they're "bad writing" or "they didn't care about X character that season". But more episodes would not help. It would in many cases make the problem worse.

3) different stories make sense in different mediums. Some shows have a tone that is intense but would be overwhelming in a long season. Different stories require vastly different pacing. Some shows have evergreen character dynamics and settings that can create endless spinoffs. For fucks sake, every week I read a new solid Seinfeld premise. No one is saying that needs to be four ten-ep seasons. But Barry would perish in that format. I've seen at least one movie that I thought had such compelling character concepts it would be better served as a 10-episode miniseries where we got individual episodes about them that tied into a larger whole. It wasn't a bad movie, I just thought the strength of the ideas wasn't served by a 2h runtime. But it also wouldn't be served by a 24 episode season!!

4) my personal pet peve systemic error Im calling "tumblrites lament": change happened in culture/media/entertainment/politics/etc which means it must be bad. And probably because of corporations making it bad on purpose. It's giving reinvented conservatism under the guise of counter culture. For fucks sake. Sometimes things are different in good and bad ways at the same time. Sometimes things are different on accident. If I were to guess most often things are not actually different, you are over-fitting a trend to a very specific human experience.

If I see one more "remember when shows had filler episodes and therefore character development" post i will start biting

[kontextmaschine]

Thinking, as always, about the 90s, Seinfeld, and Friends

Seinfeld specifically was a back-to-the city premise – it's a place where clever adults always have something to talk about – and an exposition of Larry David's vision of secular Judaism as a model of urbanity – rabbinically arguing, testing, hair-splitting over everyday life, with Festivus as a feast of the Ordeal of Civilization, where we drop our social facades (airing of grievances) and engage in primal contest (feats of strength)

Friends still the city as setting for the new life stage it's about

I talk about how Ross is supposed to come off as behind the times, the point is that he never intended to live this life, he expected to be married in the suburbs until his wife broke off their engagement (citing a newly realized lesbianism, which means a 90s sensibility of seeking your true self is the thing that disrupted his happy ending, but also that he really needs to develop a better sense of who would be a good match for him)

Rachel's marriage was more intended for her than by her, in rejecting it she becomes the 90s spirit of seeking your true self as a disruptive force. Which is what powers the Ross/Rachel central spine, ending, as comedies must, with a wedding.

But afer the curtain falls, once they don't need a stream of new people to date how long do the married Ross and Rachel stay in Manhattan? Joey went to LA, right, (I guess Mad About You was the married-having-kids version of the back to the city show)

And what about the show has to be in Manhattan? The offscreen recurring joke guy they can see naked in his apartment in the next building? I suppose even a coffee shop hosting uh, coffeehouse musicians was pretty novel in the early 90s. (Cappuccino in wide cups used to have some of the symbolic significance lattes do now but calling back the beatniks, see also Mike Meyers' So I Married An Axe Murderer)

I've talked before and… that's the second post today I know I made but can't find… here! about HIMYM as the updated successor and how Friends' arc is Ross gets engaged like three times by his early 30s and finally it sticks, Ted Mosby's is he realized one of his friends was his real soulmate but by the time they get through all their preliminary stuff they're 50

[trackmymood]

Media I Consumed in 2021 (TV/Movies -- Netflix Edition)

The Great British Baking Show: Collection 9 -- still watching with Alyssa, the german guy with the unmoanable name is on this one

Money, Explained: Limited Series: "Credit Cards" -- just tryna scam the system

The Holiday -- it was ok, needed a bit more jack black

You: Season 1: "Pilot" -- alyssa couldn't get over the absurdity of lying about the non-existent 6 train stop at York Avenue, it wasn't really calling out to me besides the public hype

tick, tick...BOOM! -- stellar, sobbed, soundtrack on repeat, want a cages or wings tattoo of a young version of myself holding a finger up with a sparrow perched on it; vanessa hudgens

Cowboy Bebop: Season 1: "Asteroid Blues" -- every so often i try to get into this anime and I'll watch like 3 episodes but it's not clicking. came back because of the live action hype

Explained: Season 3: "Fairy Tales" -- background noise

Explained: Season 3: "Time" -- background noise

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson: Season 2 -- this show is really fucking funny, binged

School of Rock -- great amount of jack black, comfort movie

Hall Pass -- had never seen it, was on netflix recommended

Project X -- great movie, very hype, ends in disaster and i love it

Seinfeld: Season 5 -- background noise

The Circle: Season 3 -- actually did not care for this season, didn't finish it, i think i'm over the gimick

Sex Education: Season 3 -- fantastic, can't wait for season 4, binged

Explained: Season 3: "Apologies" -- background noise

Explained: Season 3: "The End of Oil" -- background noise

DEATH NOTE: Death Note: "Rebirth" -- alyssa and i started watching this and it was kinda funny but also kinda disturbing some of the artwork for some of the characters

Untold: Malice at the Palace -- alyssa convinced me to watch this with her, was hesitant cuz i don't really like sports but it kept my attention!

Dating Around: Season 2 -- cringe city, love it but not revisiting

Cooked with Cannabis: Season 1: "Global Eats" -- seemed like a fun idea and it just didn't catch with me

Explained: Season 3: "Sugar" -- background noise

Never Have I Ever: Season 2 -- did not finish

Never Have I Ever: Season 1 -- thought i would do a rewatch, only saw one or 2

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson: Season 1 -- season 2 is superior

Grey's Anatomy: Season 3: "Time Has Come Today" -- alyssa might have put this on to show me a particular scene, or i had the momentary urge to catch up that did not progress

We the People: Season 1: "The Three Branches of Government" -- v much executive produced by the obamas/people who find hamilton to be earnestly radical, not my cup of tea

Baewatch: Parental Guidance: Season 1: "Kayleigh & Andy" -- super embarassing, grandmother/daughter put hidden cameras in their granddaughter/sister's hotel room and spy on her having a getaway with her boyfriend, very uncomfortable

Have a Good Trip: Adventures in Psychedelics -- background noise

This Is Pop: Season 1: "Auto-Tune" -- watched for the T-Pain episode, learned usher was a dick to him

Fresh, Fried & Crispy: Season 1 -- wtf is this

The World's Most Amazing Vacation Rentals: Season 1 -- one of those things i put on when me and mom would eat dinner and we couldn't stand the silence but needed SOMETHING but weren't actively watching anything together

Manifest: Season 1: "Pilot" -- terrible writing and silly premise

Sweet Tooth: Season 1: "Sorry About All the Dead People" -- wtf is this

Bo Burnham: Inside -- love Bo, made me sad and kind of anxious, very good

Survivor: Season 20: Heroes vs Villains: "It's Getting The Best of Me" -- i don't think we finished this

The Get Down: Part 1: "Where There Is Ruin, There Is Hope for a Treasure" -- background noise

Are You the One?: Season 1: "You Can’t Handle the Truth" -- didn't care about it

Explained: Season 1: "K-Pop" -- background noise

Explained: Season 1: "Extraterrestrial Life" -- background noise

Horsin' Around -- wtf is this

Tuca & Bertie: Season 1: "The Sugar Bowl" -- saw an episode and really WANTED to like this but i think it's cuz of peer pressure, not my cup of tea

Shadow and Bone: Season 1: "Show Me Who You Are" -- alyssa and I saw 5 episodes but we never finished it! it was good, filled a hole after binging all of the hunger games

In Our Mothers' Gardens -- background noise

Money, Explained: Limited Series -- background noise, remembered the credit card one ⊘

Rotten: Season 2: "The Avocado War" -- put this on randomly, i think about the avocado cartels every time i see an avocado now

The Game Changers -- had to look this up to remember it's that doc about plant based diets and how even athletes would benefit... kind of bro-y

Explained: Season 1: "Cricket" -- background noise

The Trial of the Chicago 7 -- very good movie! jeremy strong was in this apparently lol sacha baron cohen was really good

The Circle: Season 2 -- the right person won this! last good circle season

Accepted -- classic early 2000s movie, don't think i finished it but put it on for background nostalgia sound

The Half Of It -- really great coming of age movie!

The Great British Baking Show: Collection 5 -- background noise

Bad Trip -- i started to watch this and it was kinda funny at times but not Good

Yasuke: Season 1: "Ronin" -- wtf is this?? i really seem to try and get into anime every so often

If Anything Happens I Love You -- a short, it wrecked me

Superbad -- love this dumb movie

Marriage or Mortgage: Season 1: "A Second Chance" -- dumbass show where most everyone picks marriage, good for the hate-watch factor

Coded Bias -- i watched this but can't remember it

Crip Camp: A Disability Revolution -- really cool doc with a lot of footage from the 70s and contemporary interviews w people from that time

Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey -- didn't watch, clicked it cuz a friend's boss wrote it

The Last Blockbuster -- enjoyed this, i hope they never close

A Love Song for Latasha -- made me very sad

Operation Varsity Blues: The College Admissions Scandal -- messy as fuck documentary, somewhere in between succession and the fyre festival docs

Tiffany Haddish Presents: They Ready: Season 2 -- enjoyed all the comics, but don't follow any of them now

The Big Family Cooking Showdown: Season 2 -- watched a few episodes with mom but didn't finish

The Final Table: Season 1: "The Finale" -- enjoyed this bougie cooking comp

Ink Master: Season 1: "Fresh Meat" -- watched an episode thinking i'd get really into it but i didn't care too much

[grigori77]

2020 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 2)

20.  ONWARD – Disney and Pixar’s best digitally animated family feature of 2020 (beating the admittedly impressive Soul to the punch) clearly has a love of fantasy roleplay games like Dungeons & Dragons, its quirky modern-day AU take populated by fantastical races and creatures seemingly tailor-made for the geek crowd … needless to say, me and many of my friends absolutely loved it.  That doesn’t mean that the classic Disney ideals of love, family and believing in yourself have been side-lined in favour of fan-service – this is as heartfelt, affecting and tearful as their previous standouts, albeit with plenty of literal magic added to the metaphorical kind.  The central premise is a clever one – once upon a time, magic was commonplace, but over the years technology came along to make life easier, so that in the present day the various races (elves, centaurs, fauns, pixies, goblins and trolls among others) get along fine without it. Then timid elf Ian Lightfoot (Tom Holland) receives a wizard’s staff for his sixteenth birthday, a bequeathed gift from his father, who died before he was born, with instructions for a spell that could bring him back to life for one whole day.  Encouraged by his brash, over-confident wannabe adventurer elder brother Barley (Chris Pratt), Ian tries it out, only for the spell to backfire, leaving them with the animated bottom half of their father and just 24 hours to find a means to restore the rest of him before time runs out.  Cue an “epic quest” … needless to say, this is another top-notch offering from the original masters of the craft, a fun, affecting and thoroughly infectious family-friendly romp with a winning sense of humour and inspired, flawless world-building.  Holland and Pratt are both fantastic, their instantly believable, ill-at-ease little/big brother chemistry effortlessly driving the story through its ingenious paces, and the ensuing emotional fireworks are hilarious and heart-breaking in equal measure, while there’s typically excellent support from Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Elaine from Seinfeld) as Ian and Barley’s put-upon but supportive mum, Laurel, Octavia Spencer as once-mighty adventurer-turned-restaurateur “Corey” the Manticore and Mel Rodriguez (Getting On, The Last Man On Earth) as overbearing centaur cop (and Laurel’s new boyfriend) Colt Bronco.  The film marks the sophomore feature gig for Dan Scanlon, who debuted with 2013’s sequel Monsters University, and while that was enjoyable enough I ultimately found it non-essential – no such verdict can be levelled against THIS film, the writer-director delivering magnificently in all categories, while the animation team have outdone themselves in every scene, from the exquisite environments and character/creature designs to some fantastic (and frequently delightfully bonkers) set-pieces, while there’s a veritable riot of brilliant RPG in-jokes to delight geekier viewers (gelatinous cube! XD).  Massive, unadulterated fun, frequently hilarious and absolutely BURSTING with Disney’s trademark heart, this was ALMOST my animated feature of the year.  More on that later …

19.  THE GENTLEMEN – Guy Ritchie’s been having a rough time with his last few movies (The Man From UNCLE didn’t do too bad but it wasn’t exactly a hit and was largely overlooked or simply ignored, while intended franchise-starter King Arthur: Legend of the Sword was largely derided and suffered badly on release, dying a quick death financially – it’s a shame on both counts, because I really liked them), so it’s nice to see him having some proper success with his latest, even if he has basically reverted to type to do it.  Still, when his newest London gangster flick is THIS GOOD it seems churlish to quibble – this really is what he does best, bringing together a collection of colourful geezers and shaking up their status quo, then standing back and letting us enjoy the bloody, expletive-riddled results. This particularly motley crew is another winning selection, led by Matthew McConaughey as ruthlessly successful cannabis baron Mickey Pearson, who’s looking to retire from the game by selling off his massive and highly lucrative enterprise for a most tidy sum (some $400,000,000 to be precise) to up-and-coming fellow American ex-pat Matthew Berger (Succession’s Jeremy Strong, oozing sleazy charm), only for local Chinese triad Dry Eye (Crazy Rich Asians’ Henry Golding, chewing the scenery with enthusiasm) to start throwing spanners into the works with the intention of nabbing the deal for himself for a significant discount.  Needless to say Mickey’s not about to let that happen … McConaughey is ON FIRE here, the best he’s been since Dallas Buyers Club in my opinion, clearly having great fun sinking his teeth into this rich character and Ritchie’s typically sparkling, razor-witted dialogue, and he’s ably supported by a quality ensemble cast, particularly co-star Charlie Hunnam as Mickey’s ice-cold, steel-nerved right-hand-man Raymond Smith, Downton Abbey’s Michelle Dockery as his classy, strong-willed wife Rosalind, Colin Farrell as a wise-cracking, quietly exasperated MMA trainer and small-time hood simply known as the Coach (who gets many of the film’s best lines), and, most notably, Hugh Grant as the film’s nominal narrator, thoroughly morally bankrupt private investigator Fletcher, who consistently steals the film.  This is Guy Ritchie at his very best – a twisty rug-puller of a plot that constantly leaves you guessing, brilliantly observed and richly drawn characters you can’t help loving in spite of the fact there’s not a single hero among them, a deliciously unapologetic, politically incorrect sense of humour and a killer soundtrack.  Getting the cinematic year off to a phenomenal start, it’s EASILY Ritchie’s best film since Sherlock Holmes, and a strong call-back to the heady days of Snatch (STILL my favourite) and Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels.  Here’s hoping he’s on a roll again, eh?

18.  SPONTANEOUS – one of the year’s biggest under-the-radar surprise hits for me was one which I actually might not have caught if things had been a little more normal and ordered.  Thankfully with all the lockdown and cinematic shutdown bollocks going on, this fantastically subversive and deeply satirical indie teen comedy horror came along at the perfect time, and I completely flipped out over it.  Now those who know me know I don’t tend to gravitate towards teen cinema, but like all those other exceptions I’ve loved over the years, this one had a brilliantly compulsive hook I just couldn’t turn down – small-town high-schooler Mara (Knives Out and Netflix’ Cursed’s Katherine Langford) is your typical cool outsider kid, smart, snarky and just putting up with the scene until she can graduate and get as far away as possible … until one day in her senior year one of her classmates just inexplicably explodes. Like her peers, she’s shocked and she mourns, then starts to move on … until it happens again.  As the death toll among the senior class begins to mount, it becomes clear something weird is going on, but Mara has other things on her mind because the crisis has, for her, had an unexpected benefit – without it she wouldn’t have fallen in love with like-minded oddball new kid Dylan (Lean On Pete and Words On Bathroom Walls’ Charlie Plummer). The future’s looking bright, but only if they can both live to see it … this is a wickedly intelligent film, powered by a skilfully executed script and a wonderfully likeable young cast who consistently steer their characters around the potential cliched pitfalls of this kind of cinema, while debuting writer-director Brian Duffield (already a rising star thanks to scripts for Underwater, The Babysitter and blacklist darling Jane Got a Gun among others) show he’s got as much talent and flair for crafting truly inspired cinema as he has for thinking it up in the first place, delivering some impressively offbeat set-pieces and several neat twists you frequently don’t see coming ahead of time.  Langford and Plummer as a sassy, spicy pair who are easy to root for without ever getting cloying or sweet, while there’s glowing support from the likes of Hayley Law (Rioverdale, Altered Carbon, The New Romantic) as Mara’s best friend Tess, Piper Perabo and Transparent’s Rob Huebel as her increasingly concerned parents, and Insecure’s Yvonne Orji as Agent Rosetti, the beleaguered government employee sent to spearhead the investigation into exactly what’s happening to these kids.  Quirky, offbeat and endlessly inventive, this is one of those interesting instances where I’m glad they pushed the horror elements into the background so we could concentrate on the comedy, but more importantly these wonderfully well-realised and vital characters – there are some skilfully executed shocks, but far more deep belly laughs, and there’s bucketloads of heart to eclipse the gore.  Another winning debut from a talent I intend to watch with great interest in the future.

17.  HAMILTON – arriving just as Black Lives Matter reached fever-pitch levels, this feature presentation of the runaway Broadway musical smash-hit could not have been better timed. Shot over three nights during the show’s 2016 run with the original cast and cut together with specially created “setup shots”, it’s an immersive experience that at once puts you right in amongst the audience (at times almost a character themselves, never seen but DEFINITELY heard) but also lets you experience the action up close.  And what action – it’s an incredible show, a thoroughly fascinating piece of work that reads like something very staid and proper on paper (an all-encompassing biographical account of the life and times of American Founding Father Alexander Hamilton) but, in execution, becomes something very different and EXTREMELY vital.  The execution certainly couldn’t be further from the usual period biopic fare this kind of historical subject matter usually gets (although in the face of recent high quality revisionist takes like Marie Antoinette, The Great and Tesla it’s not SO surprising), while the cast is not at all what you’d expect – with very few notable exceptions the cast is almost entirely people of colour, despite the fact that the real life individuals they’re playing were all very white indeed.  Every single one of them is also an absolute revelation – the show’s writer-composer Lin-Manuel Miranda (already riding high on the success of In the Heights) carries the central role of Hamilton with effortless charm and raw star power, Leslie Odom Jr. (Smash, Murder On the Orient Express) is duplicitously complex as his constant nemesis Aaron Burr, Christopher Jackson (In the Heights, Moana, Bull) oozes integrity and nobility as his mentor and friend George Washington, Phillipa Soo is sweet and classy as his wife Eliza while Renée Elise Goldsberry (The Immortal Life of Henrietta Jacks, Altered Carbon) is fiery and statuesque as her sister Angelica Schuyler (the one who got away), and Jonathan Groff (Mindhunter) consistently steals every scene he’s in as fiendish yet childish fan favourite King George III, but the show (and the film) ultimately belongs to veritable powerhouse Daveed Diggs (Blindspotting, The Good Lord Bird) in a spectacular duel role, starting subtly but gaining scene-stealing momentum as French Revolutionary Gilbert du Motier, the Marquis de Lafayette, before EXPLODING onto the stage in the second half as indomitable third American President Thomas Jefferson.  Not having seen the stage show, I was taken completely by surprise by this, revelling in its revisionist genius and offbeat, quirky hip-hop charm, spellbound by the skilful ease with which is takes the sometimes quite dull historical fact and skews it into something consistently entertaining and absorbing, transported by the catchy earworm musical numbers and thoroughly tickled by the delightfully cheeky sense of humour strung throughout (at least when I wasn’t having my heart broken by moments of raw dramatic power). Altogether it’s a pretty unique cinematic experience I wish I could have actually gotten to see on the big screen, and one I’ve consistently recommended to all my friends, even the ones who don’t usually like musicals.  As far as I’m concerned it doesn’t need a proper Les Misérables style screen adaptation – this is about as perfect a presentation as the show could possibly hope for.

16.  SPUTNIK – summer’s horror highlight (despite SERIOUSLY tough competition) was a guaranteed sleeper hit that I almost missed entirely, stumbling across the trailer one day on YouTube and getting bowled over by its potential, prompting me to hunt it down by any means necessary.  The feature debut of Russian director Egor Abramenko, this first contact sci-fi chiller is about as far from E.T. as it’s possible to get, sharing some of the same DNA as Carpenter’s The Thing but proudly carving its own path with consummate skill and definitely signalling great things to come from its brand new helmer and relative unknown screenwriters Oleg Malovichko and Andrei Zolotarev.  Oksana Akinshina (probably best known in the West for her powerful climactic cameo in The Bourne Supremacy) is the beating heart of the film as neurophysiologist Tatyana Yuryevna Klimova, brought in to aid in the investigation in the Russian wilderness circa 1983 after an orbital research mission goes horribly wrong.  One of the cosmonauts dies horribly, while the other, Konstantin (The Duelist’s Pyotr Fyodorov) seems unharmed, but it quickly becomes clear that he’s now the host for something decidedly extraterrestrial and potentially terrifying, and as Tatyana becomes more deeply embroiled in her assignment she comes to realise that her superiors, particularly mysterious Red Army project leader Colonel Semiradov (The PyraMMMid’s Fyodor Bondarchuk), have far more insidious plans for Konstantin and his new “friend” than she could ever imagine. This is about as dark, intense and nightmarish as this particular sub-genre gets, a magnificently icky body horror that slowly builds its tension as we’re gradually exposed to the various truths and the awful gravity of the situation slowly reveals itself, punctuated by skilfully executed shocks and some particularly horrifying moments when the evils inflicted by the humans in charge prove far worse than anything the alien can do, while the ridiculously talented writers have a field day pulling the rug out from under us again and again, never going for the obvious twist and keeping us guessing right to the devastating ending, while the beautifully crafted digital creature effects are nothing short of astonishing and thoroughly creepy.  Akinshina dominates the film with her unbridled grace, vulnerability and integrity, the relationship that develops between Tatyana and Konstantin (Fyodorov delivering a beautifully understated turn belying deep inner turmoil) feeling realistically earned as it goes from tentatively wary to tragically bittersweet, while Bondarchuk invests the Colonel with a nuanced air of tarnished authority and restrained brutality that made him one of my top screen villains for the year.  One of 2020’s great sleeper hits, I can’t speak of this film highly enough – it’s a genuine revelation, an instant classic for whom I’ll sing its praises for years to come, and I wish enormous future success to all the creative talents involved.

15.  THE INVISIBLE MAN – looks like third time’s a charm for Leigh Whannell, writer-director of my ALMOST horror movie of the year (more on that later) – while he’s had immense success as a horror writer over the years (co-creator of both the Saw and Insidious franchises), as a director his first two features haven’t exactly set the world alight, with debut Insidious: Chapter III garnering similar takes to the rest of the series but ultimately turning out to be a bit of a damp squib quality-wise, while his second feature Upgrade was a stone-cold masterpiece that was (rightly) EXTREMELY well received critically, but ultimately snuck in under the radar and has remained a stubbornly hidden gem since. No such problems with his third feature, though – his latest collaboration with producer Jason Blum and the insanely lucrative Blumhouse Pictures has proven a massive hit both financially AND with reviewers, and deservedly so.  Having given up on trying to create a shared cinematic universe inhabited by their classic monsters, Universal resolved to concentrate on standalones to showcase their elite properties, and their first try is a rousing success, Whannell bringing HG Wells’ dark and devious human monster smack into the 21st Century as only he can.  The result is a surprisingly subtle piece of work, much more a lethally precise exercise in cinematic sleight of hand and extraordinary acting than flashy visual effects, strictly adhering to the Blumhouse credo of maximum returns for minimum bucks as the story is stripped down to its bare essentials and allowed to play out without any unnecessary weight.  The Handmaid’s Tale’s Elizabeth Moss once again confirms what a masterful actress she is as she brings all her performing weapons to bear in the role of Cecelia “Cee” Kass, the cloistered wife of affluent but monstrously abusive optics pioneer Aidan Griffin (Netflix’ The Haunting of Hill House’s Oliver Jackson-Cohen), who escapes his clutches in the furiously tense opening sequence and goes to ground with the help of her closest childhood friend, San Francisco cop James Lanier (Leverage’s Aldis Hodge) and his teenage daughter Sydney (A Wrinkle in Time’s Storm Reid).  Two weeks later, Aidan commits suicide, leaving Cee with a fortune to start her life over (with the proviso that she’s never ruled mentally incompetent), but as she tries to find her way in the world again little things start going wrong for her, and she begins to question if there might be something insidious going on.  As her nerves start to unravel, she begins to suspect that Aidan is still alive, still very much in her life, fiendishly toying with her and her friends, but no-one can see him.  Whannell plays her paranoia up for all it’s worth, skilfully teasing out the scares so that, just like her friends, we begin to wonder if it might all be in her head after all, before a spectacular mid-movie reveal throws the switch into high gear and the true threat becomes clear.  The lion’s share of the film’s immense success must of course go to Moss – her performance is BEYOND a revelation, a blistering career best that totally powers the whole enterprise, and it goes without saying that she’s the best thing in this.  Even so, she has sterling support from Hodge and Reid, as well as Love Child’s Harriet Dyer as Cee’s estranged big sister Emily and Wonderland’s Michael Dorman as Adrian’s slimy, spineless lawyer brother Tom, and, while he doesn’t have much actual (ahem) “screen time”, Jackson-Cohen delivers a fantastically icy, subtly malevolent turn which casts a large “shadow” over the film.  This is one of my very favourite Blumhouse films, a pitch-perfect psychological chiller that keeps the tension cranked up unbearably tight and never lets go, Whannell once again displaying uncanny skill with expert jump-scares, knuckle-whitening chills and a truly astounding standout set-piece that easily goes down as one of the top action sequences of 2020. Undoubtedly the best version of Wells’ story to date, this goes a long way in repairing the damage of Universal’s abortive “Dark Universe” efforts, as well as showcasing a filmmaking master at the very height of his talents.

14.  EXTRACTION – the Coronavirus certainly has threw a massive spanner in the works of the year’s cinematic calendar – among many other casualties to the blockbuster shunt, the latest (and most long-awaited) MCU movie, Black Widow, should have opened to further record-breaking box office success at the end of spring, but instead the theatres were all closed and virtually all the heavyweights were pushed back or shelved indefinitely.  Thank God, then, for the streaming services, particularly Hulu, Amazon and Netflix, the latter of which provided a perfect movie for us to see through the key transition into the summer blockbuster season, an explosively flashy big budget action thriller ushered in by MCU alumni the Russo Brothers (who produced and co-wrote this adaptation of Ciudad, a graphic novel that Joe Russo co-created with Ande Parks and Fernando Leon Gonzalez) and barely able to contain the sheer star-power wattage of its lead, Thor himself.  Chris Hemsworth plays Tyler Rake, a former Australian SAS operative who hires out his services to an extraction operation under the command of mercenary Nik Khan (The Patience Stone’s Golshifteh Farahani), brought in to liberate Ovi Mahajan (Rudhraksh Jaiswal in his first major role), the pre-teen son of incarcerated Indian crime lord Ovi Sr. (Pankaj Tripathi), who has been abducted by Bangladeshi rival Amir Asif (Priyanshu Painyuli).  The rescue itself goes perfectly, but when the time comes for the hand-off the team is double-crossed and Tyler is left stranded in the middle of Dhaka with no choice but to keep Ovi alive as every corrupt cop and street gang in the city closes in around them.  This is the feature debut of Sam Hargrave, the latest stuntman to try his hand at directing, so he certainly knows his way around an action set-piece, and the result is a thoroughly breathless adrenaline rush of a film, bursting at the seams with spectacular fights, gun battles and car chases, dominated by a stunning sustained sequence that plays out in one long shot, guaranteed to leave jaws lying on the floor.  Not that there should be any surprise – Hargrave cut his teeth as a stunt coordinator for the Russos on Captain America: Civil War and their Avengers films.  That said, he displays strong talent for the quieter disciplines of filmmaking too, delivering quality character development and drawing out consistently noteworthy performances from his cast.  Of course, Hemsworth can do the action stuff in his sleep, but there’s a lot more to Tyler than just his muscle, the MCU veteran investing him with real wounded vulnerability and a tragic fatalism which colours every scene, while Jaiswal is exceptional throughout, showing plenty of promise for the future, and there’s strong support from Farahani and Painyuli, as well as Stranger Things’ David Harbour as world-weary retired merc Gaspard, and a particularly impressive, muscular turn from Randeep Hooda (Once Upon a Time in Mumbai) as Saju, a former Para and Ovi’s bodyguard, who’s determined to take possession of the boy himself, even if he has to go through Tyler to get him.  This is action cinema that really deserves to be seen on the big screen – I watched it twice in a week and would happily have paid for two trips to the cinema for it if I could have.  As we looked down the barrel of a summer season largely devoid of blockbuster fare, I couldn’t recommend this enough.  Thank the gods for Netflix …

13.  THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7 – although it’s definitely a film that really benefitted enormously from releasing on Netflix during the various lockdowns, this was one of the blessed few I actually got to see during one of the UK’s frustratingly rare lulls when cinemas were actually OPEN.  Rather perversely it therefore became one of my favourite cinematic experiences of 2020, but then I’m just as much a fan of well-made cerebral films as I am of the big, immersive blockbuster EXPERIENCES, so this probably still would have been a standout in a normal year. Certainly if this was a purely CRITICAL list for the year this probably would have placed high in the Top Ten … Aaron Sorkin is a writer whose work I have ardently admired ever since he went from esteemed playwright to in-demand talent for both the big screen AND the small with A Few Good Men, and TTOTC7 is just another in a long line of consistently impressive, flawlessly written works rife with addictive quickfire dialogue, beautifully observed characters and rewardingly propulsive narrative storytelling (therefore resting comfortably amongst the well-respected likes of The West Wing, Charlie Wilson’s War, Moneyball and The Social Network).  It also marks his second feature as a director (after fascinating and incendiary debut Molly’s Game), and once again he’s gone for true story over fiction, tackling the still controversial subject of the infamous 1968 trial of the “ringleaders” of the infamous riots which marred Chicago’s Diplomatic National Convention five months earlier, in which thousands of hippies and college students protesting the Vietnam War clashed with police.  Spurred on by the newly-instated Presidential Administration of Richard Nixon to make some examples, hungry up-and-coming prosecutor Richard Schultz (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is confident in his case, while the Seven – who include respected and astute student activist Tom Hayden (Eddie Redmayne) and confrontational counterculture firebrands Abbie Hoffman (Sacha Baron Cohen) and Jerry Rubin (Succession’s Jeremy Strong) – are the clear underdogs.  They’re a divided bunch (particularly Hayden and Hoffman, who never mince their words about what little regard they hold for each other), and they’re up against the combined might of the U.S. Government, while all they have on their side is pro-bono lawyer and civil rights activist William Kunstler (Mark Rylance), who’s sharp, driven and thoroughly committed to the cause but clearly massively outmatched … not to mention the fact that the judge presiding over the case is Julius Hoffman (Frank Langella), a fierce and uncompromising conservative who’s clearly 100% on the Administration’s side, and who might in fact be stark raving mad (he also frequently goes to great lengths to make it clear to all concerned that he is NOT related to Abbie).  Much as we’ve come to expect from Sorkin, this is cinema of grand ideals and strong characters, not big spectacle and hard action, and all the better for it – he’s proved time and again that he’s one of the very best creative minds in Hollywood when it comes to intelligent, thought-provoking and engrossing thinking-man’s entertainment, and this is pure par for the course, keeping us glued to the screen from the skilfully-executed whirlwind introductory montage to the powerfully cathartic climax, and every varied and brilliant scene in-between.  This is heady stuff, focusing on what’s still an extremely thorny issue made all the more urgently relevant and timely given what was (and still is) going on in American politics at the time, and everyone involved here was clearly fully committed to making the film as palpable, powerful and resonant as possible for the viewer, no matter their nationality or political inclination.  Also typical for a Sorkin film, the cast are exceptional, everyone clearly having the wildest time getting their teeth into their finely-drawn characters and that magnificent dialogue – Redmayne and Baron Cohen are compellingly complimentary intellectual antagonists given their radically different approaches and their roles’ polar opposite energies, while Rylance delivers another pitch-perfect, simply ASTOUNDING performance that once again marks him as one of the very best actors of his generation, and there are particularly meaty turns from Strong, Langella, Aquaman’s Yahya Abdul-Mateen II (as besieged Black Panther Bobby Seale) and a potent late appearance from Michael Keaton that sear themselves into the memory long after viewing. Altogether then, this is a phenomenal film which deserves to be seen no matter the format, a thought-provoking and undeniably IMPORTANT masterwork from a master cinematic storyteller that says as much about the world we live in now as the decidedly turbulent times it portrays …

12.  GREYHOUND – when the cinemas closed back in March, the fate of many of the major summer blockbusters we’d been looking forward to was thrown into terrible doubt. Some were pushed back to more amenable dates in the autumn or winter (which even then ultimately proved frustratingly ambitious), others knocked back a whole year to fill summer slots for 2021, but more than a few simply dropped off the radar entirely with the terrible words “postponed until further notice” stamped on them, and I lamented them all, this one in particular.  It hung in there longer than some, stubbornly holding onto its June release slot for as long as possible, but eventually it gave up the ghost too … but thanks to Apple TV+, not for long, ultimately releasing less than a month later than intended.  Thankfully the film itself was worth the fuss, a taut World War II suspense thriller that’s all killer, no filler – set during the infamous Battle of the Atlantic, it portrays the constant life-or-death struggle faced by the Allied warships assigned to escort the transport convoys as they crossed the ocean, defending their charges from German U-boats.  Adapted from C.S. Forester’s famous 1955 novel The Good Shepherd by Tom Hanks and directed by Aaron Schneider (Get Low), the narrative focuses on the crew of the escort leader, American destroyer USS Fletcher, codenamed “Greyhound”, and in particular its captain, Commander Ernest Krause (Hanks), a career sailor serving his first command.  As they cross “the Pit”, the most dangerous middle stretch of the journey where they spend days without air-cover, they find themselves shadowed by “the Wolf Pack”, a particularly cunning group of German submarines that begin to pick away at the convoy’s stragglers.  Faced with daunting odds, a dwindling supply of vital depth-charges and a ruthless, persistent enemy, Krause must make hard choices to bring his ships home safe … jumping into the thick of the action within the first ten minutes and maintaining its tension for the remainder of the trim 90-minute run, this is screen suspense par excellence, a sleek textbook example of how to craft a compelling big screen knuckle-whitener with zero fat and maximum reward, delivering a series of desperate naval scraps packed with hide-and-seek intensity, heart-in-mouth near-misses and fist-in-air cathartic payoffs by the bucket-load.  Hanks is subtly magnificent, the calm centre of the narrative storm as a supposed newcomer to this battle arena who could have been BORN for it, bringing to mind his similarly unflappable in Captain Phillips and certainly not suffering by comparison; by and large he’s the focus point, but other crew members make strong (if sometimes quite brief) impressions, particularly Stephen Graham as Krause’s reliably seasoned XO, Lt. Commander Charlie Cole, The Magnificent Seven’s Manuel Garcia-Rulfo and Just Mercy’s Rob Morgan, while Elisabeth Shue does a lot with a very small part in brief flashbacks as Krause’s fiancée Evelyn. Relentless, exhilarating and thoroughly unforgettable, this was one of the true action highlights of the summer, and one hell of a war flick.  I’m so glad it made the cut for the summer …

11.  PROJECT POWER – with Marvel and DC pushing their tent-pole titles back in the face of COVID, the usual superhero antics we’ve come to expect for the summer were pretty thin on the ground in 2020, leading us to find our geeky fan thrills elsewhere. Unfortunately, pickings were frustratingly slim – Korean comic book actioner Gundala was entertaining but workmanlike, while Thor AU Mortal was underwhelming despite strong direction from Troll Hunter’s André Øvredal, and The New Mutants just got shat on by the studio and its distributors and no mistake – thank the Gods, then, for Netflix, once again riding to the rescue with this enjoyably offbeat super-thriller, which takes an intriguing central premise and really runs with it.  New designer drug Power has hit the streets of New Orleans, able to give anyone who takes it a superpower for five minutes … the only problem is, until you try it, you don’t know what your own unique talent is – for some, it could mean five minutes of invisibility, or insane levels of super-strength, but other powers can be potentially lethal, the really unlucky buggers just blowing up on the spot.  Robin (The Hate U Give’s Dominique Fishback) is a teenage Power-pusher with dreams of becoming a rap star, dealing the pills so she can help her diabetic mum; Frank Shaver (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is one of her customers, a police detective who uses his power of near invulnerability to even the playing field when supercharged crims cause a disturbance.  Their lives are turned upside down when Art (Jamie Foxx) arrives in town – he’s a seriously badass ex-soldier determined to hunt down the source of Power by any means necessary, and he’s not above tearing the Big Easy apart to do it. This is a fun, gleefully infectious rollercoaster that doesn’t take itself too seriously, revelling in the anarchic potential of its premise and crafting some suitably OTT effects-driven chaos brought to pleasingly visceral fruition by its skilfully inventive director, Ariel Schulman (Catfish, Nerve, Viral), while Mattson Tomlin (the screenwriter of the DCEU’s oft-delayed, incendiary headline act The Batman) takes the story in some very interesting directions and poses fascinating questions about what Power’s TRULY capable of.  Gordon-Levitt and Fishback are both brilliant, the latter particularly impressing in what’s sure to be a major breakthrough role for her, and the friendship their characters share is pretty adorable, while Foxx really is a force to be reckoned with, pretty chill even when he’s in deep shit but fully capable of turning into a bona fide killing machine at the flip of a switch, and there’s strong support from Westworld’s Rodrigo Santoro as Biggie, Power’s delightfully oily kingpin, Courtney B. Vance as Frank’s by-the-book superior, Captain Crane, Amy Landecker as Gardner, the morally bankrupt CIA spook responsible for the drug’s production, and Machine Gun Kelly as Newt, a Power dealer whose pyrotechnic “gift” really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  Exciting, inventive, frequently amusing and infectiously likeable, this was some of the most uncomplicated cinematic fun I had all summer.  Not bad for something which I’m sure was originally destined to become one of the season’s B-list features …

[titusmoody]

It’s the end of the first quarter of 2021. Here’s a brief review of the things I watched/played/read.

Games

Donut County- pretty charming, very easy, fairly satisfying to play. I’d recommend Untitled Goose Game over this, though.

Heaven’s Vault- If you only have room in your life for one space archaeology game, play Outer Wilds instead. However, you get to translate alien writings yourself (in a simplified game way) in this one, so I’d recommend both. 

Donkey Kong Country 3 103%- so many fun level mechanics in this one. The difficulty of finding and completing everything in the game was spot-on for me.

Donkey Kong Country 2 102%- Each level mechanic in this one is explored and used in far more interesting ways than DKC3, though I honestly had more fun with 3 this time around. This one is the “dark, edgy” one aesthetically which is extremely dumb. Also, there was a lot of guesswork involved in finding some of the hidden stuff, which I didn’t enjoy.

The Room 4- I like escape room games. This one was good. It continued 3′s trend of trying to shake up the format a little, which is fine (better here than in 3, I think) but I wouldn’t have minded if all 4 stayed exactly the same, just with new puzzles.

Spider-Man: Miles Morales- Everything about it was competent. Not only was each gameplay activity fine-tuned to feel good, but the structure of the game also kept kept you experiencing a good variety of each activity. PS5 graphics are good, too. Nothing about it really got me excited to play it, it was just a good after work unwinding thing.

Cyberpunk 2077- Exactly the opposite of Spider-Man in terms of quality consistency. There are aspects of this game that are amazing, horrible, and every step in between. However, I’ve thought about it quite a bit and will probably continue to think about it for both good and bad reasons.

Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair- Donkey Kong Country has better level design and controls. Well, the best levels of this were every bit as good as the best DKC levels, and maybe I’m just so familiar with DKC levels that I zone out a little during the boring bits, but had to pay attention to every moment of this game. Still, I didn’t have as much of an overall good time as the DKC games I played earlier.

Hue- Good 2D puzzle-platformer. I’m no longer surprised by these, but I still appreciate them, much in the same way as I like playing escape room games. I was under the impression for a few years that because I understood the potential of puzzle platformers, it meant I wouldn’t want to play any more of them, but that’s simply not true. I had a good time with Hue.

Shows

Gravity Falls- It’s fine. Pretty entertaining. I wish there were more low-stakes kinds of episodes, just to get more familiar with different sides of the characters. It would have made the characters and setting feel more rounded.

Cowboy Bepop- I didn’t get the hype for this show when I first watched it at 21, and now I can say that it’s simply not my kind of show. I have much more appreciation for it now than I did the first time, but it doesn’t hit me emotionally the same way that it seems to hit so many people. 

Seinfeld- It’s Seinfeld. There was precisely one episode that I had never seen before, plus confirmation that I didn’t dream the episode that’s told in backwards chunks like Memento and is set in India.

Paranoia Agent- While it was disappointing that this ended up being a more simple morality tale than every Satoshi Kon movie I’ve seen, I still enjoyed watching this a lot.

Aggretsuko- I liked the mundane, every-day storylines like a modern, more empathetic Seinfeld. Unfortunately as the show went on, there were more and more wacky situations that no one actually gets into. I might watch the upcoming season if I hear that it’s less ridiculous.

Over the Garden Wall- This was really cool and I’m glad it exists. It’s ten episodes long, which is perfect for it. I thought it was at its weakest during the more lighthearted or humorous moments--precisely the opposite of Gravity Falls. The word “classy” comes to mind to describe this show. 

Beastars- Really good when it isn’t falling into anime plot and dialog cliches. A lot of this first season is dedicated to introducing characters and the setting, which I thought was very well done. I’m curious to see what Season 2 is like.

Movies

Scott Pilgrim vs the World- It’s a fun movie to watch. It definitely makes many of the characters’ flaws seem like more fun than it probably should, but I’m more bothered by the criticism I hear that boils down to “it’s a bad movie because the characters are bad people” which I suspect is an impression you only get if you lack both empathy and media comprehension.

Big- Kinda bad. It has iconic moments that are only possible with its weird premise, but it’s just not a premise that supports an entire good movie. 

Phantom of the Opera- Way better and way worse than I remember. Has the precise right amount of horses.

Knives Out- Not really a movie I needed to watch a second time, but it sure is good.

District 9- I didn’t remember most of this movie and unfortunately I zoned out for most of this rewatch, so I still feel like I don’t know what it’s about.

From up on Poppy Hill- Not one of the top tier Ghibli movies, but still really good in a down-to-earth way that I like from Ghibli. 

Enter the Dragon- I knew to expect everything to be turned up to 11, which is good because it really is a lot. I liked it, though.

Shutter Island- I have never actually liked this kind of twist-reliant movie. I thought I would for many years, but I was always disappointed. At least now I am aware that it’s not what I’m into.

Soul- The premise is much too convoluted, but it does have an excellent moment near the end.

Onward- I liked this one a lot. Why don’t more people talk about this one? It’s definitely better than Coco, which itself was really good.

A Silent Voice- The kind of movie that reminds me that sometimes Japanese storytelling is more to my taste than Hollywood style, in that scenes can be more emotionally ambiguous. 

Tangled- Good in exactly the same way as Frozen and Moana. I can’t really complain, but this isn’t the same situation as puzzle platformers or escape rooms. In this case, I do get a little sick of being completely unsurprised. This movie was made first, so it’s only by chance that this is the one that I saw last.

Monsters University- A good movie, but it really doesn’t have to be about the same characters as Monsters Inc. 

Monty Python and the Holy Grail- Still funny

The Departed- Good if you want an enjoyable crime thriller to watch, bad if you want a Scorcese movie.

Titanic- Getting very drunk and watching this with Brittany might be the best time I had in the past three months. Maybe I won’t think too hard about why a movie about the overdue, violent death of a social order resonates with me right now.

Prince of Egypt- Impressive and grand, but I didn’t really care about the characters or story.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan- A good but not great (by TNG standards) concept for an episode that was made extremely enjoyable by the added budget and longer runtime of a movie.

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock- Not as good, but still watchable.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home- The kind of ridiculous concept you’d only make when you’ve already had three successful movies and are confident that you’ll be able to make at least another couple. The gang go back to the 1980s (present day to the original audience) and save the whales. It’s apparently exactly the right movie to watch if this is the third consecutive Star Trek movie you’re watching.

Mamma Mia- A lot of fun, but has weird problems that seem like they would’ve been easy to solve at the script level. Maybe if the conflicts had been introduced early on instead of dragging the whole pace of the movie down for much of the last 20 minutes, I would’ve enjoyed the whole thing.

Books

The Well of Ascension- The second book of a trilogy. Very competent. Introduces a whole lot of minor conflicts that really keep the momentum going and give the characters short-term goals that contribute to the overall plot and their arcs. 

The Hero of Ages- The final book in the same trilogy. Equally competent. I wish there had been more long-term payoffs, which is the trade-off you make by stuffing the books full of those short-term conflicts. Spoilers ahead, but not ones that I think ruin the experience of reading. It’s very odd that of three of the central characters, one dies, one becomes a god and then dies, and one becomes God. 

Check Please- About as pleasant as it gets. Full of the type of minor character that sitcoms end up running into the ground because they’re too one-note (Creed from The Office, for instance) but in a series with a pre-planned length, there’s no chance for it to get stale. Plus, I really liked both of the lead characters.

Milkman- Good book about “The Troubles” in Ireland. Very odd collection of characters, but the narrator had an extremely enjoyable voice to read. 

And Then There Were None- Classic mystery story for a reason. Feels more like a Hitchcock movie than Sherlock Holmes. I read it in one day both because the prose was easy and I wanted to know what happened next. Not much substance to it, unfortunately.

Homegoing- Extremely ambitous book where each chapter is narrated by the descendant of a previous chapter, alternating between two branches of the same family. I liked it quite a bit, though because I only finished it yesterday I don’t have much reflection done yet so my opinion has yet to solidify.

[gourmetmilkshake]

i watched like 3-7 episodes of "always sunny" bc i ran out of stuff to watch and it was okay like i get the premise (everyone on the show is a shithead) and i get how it's funny but it's way too predictable for me because i can definitely think like three steps ahead of any shithead and be like 'what's the worst thing you could do rn' and they always do it, so i was reading the wiki page for the show and they mentioned that "sunny" is like edgy 2000s seinfeld or whatever so i started watching seinfeld instead bc i really needed my "distracts me from life" show's topics to be a little lighter than the ones covered on "sunny", so as for seinfeld the writing is funny the jokes are very cyclical (joke/something mentioned at the beginning almost always comes back by the end of the episode) but the characters are also kinda just awful and more often than not i want to punch them and i think that if i had seen this show prior to september when i started dating leo boy i would have not gone through with dating him because he was always like "i love seinfeld its my favorite show" and i'd be all, 'hm, interesting choice for a black man considering how much funnier living single or idk any other show is' but i'd never watched enough to truly understand WHAT his love of the show says about his personality and i realize now he thinks he's the jerry of his world (i mean, he's writing a self-insert screenplay, and he loves a show starring a guy playing himself... let's put the pieces together) and he wants me to be his fucking elaine. his "we did stuff but there were physical issues" twin-like female friend who's perfect to his parents, good enough to bring to social gatherings, and something of a harpy... SICK! unfortunately for him is he's actually george costanza, not cheap, but a picky eater and particular about things in such a way that it's a true annoyance... and i'm just like, nobody on the show. i'm maxine on living single instead

[sansphilautia]

Nic cage was high-key in shape by 1997 standards, he had  the guns, the delts, there’s even beginnings of traps underneath the mane. Con air would have had a chance to be taken seriously, if he was just allowed to go bald. Sadly Die Hard 3 had come out 2 years prior and Bruce Willis was still trying to have hair with the same hairline. Balding white men's salvation would be put off another untold number of years. It wasn't fully OK to be fully bald yet. To these men, their image was-and remains- a part of their livelihood. Would their level of Fame allow them to be fully bald and still get the roles that they wanted? You might be scoffing at Ron Pearlman getting action roles well into his late 60′s but the whole premise of a 65 year old action hero would be a lot harder to sell if Pearlman didnt have all his (or someone else’s) hair.

Stigma around being a bald white man was one even millions of dollars couldn’t overcome. No one had done it successfully yet, no one had started with hair and continued to enjoy the same status after being bald. Elton John abused his scalp for years using primitive hair restoration procedures, Captain Kirk was famous for his hair piece, these were men with unimaginable financial means who had to suffer going bald in the limelight, and they fought every step. Being bald was associated with being older, weaker, perhaps sickly. The worst of it however was being a young, in-shape bald man, if you weren’t a skinhead what were you? Who else would willingly be all bald? Where was the white Michael Jordan, who could be all man and all bald? Who could finally normalize the bald white guy.

The late 90s and early 2000s were a dark time for bald white men, George Costanza did more damage to their cause than the 9/11 attacks did to my Turkish family’s permanent resident applications. He was funny sure, but he was also a failure, a boob, he had difficulty finding a mate, he was short, he was bald, and he was just so goddamn visible. Seinfeld is still one of the most iconic sitcoms of all time and widely regarded as the greatest sitcom. Everyone knew who George was, and subconsciously or not, we associated the rest of George’s failings with the way he looked. In one of Kramer’s most iconic scenes. where he drinks a beer while simultaneously smoking a cigarette, the actor opposite him in the scene has a long bald mullet. He looks absolutely ridiculous, he’s overweight but carries it well, with a different hairstyle he could have a powerful stocky look to him, but the hair just makes him look so....inferior. Just as he was an extra on Seinfeld you feel that he’s an extra in life just looking at him. All because of that ridiculous bald mullet, but what else could he do with a completely barren top, how could he fashion that into an acceptable hairstyle that made him look and feel good?

Contrary to popular belief, Bruce Willis was not the pioneer of the shaved white head. Willis was the most visible and successful star at rocking the full bald as a white guy early on, but he wasn’t the first one to make the full transition. Willis’ hairline had long thrown in the towel but his hair was still hanging on in Sin City. By the time he let it all go for Live free or die hard he was simply riding a trend that someone else had bravely started. That someone was Jason Statham

The transporter released in 2002 and we saw the first full white guy who could do non-corny martial arts, have muscles and sport that forehead, the one that says “I’ve made my peace with my hairline, and I’m man enough to still beat your ass and be a sex symbol” (the accent helped his image obviously, this is over a decade before brexit when Americans began finding out Brits aren’t actually smart). Statham continued his crusade with a series of transporter sequels and other action films well into the 2000s and now has a place on the Mount Rushmore of action stars that Stallone rounded up with his Expendables series.

There were other notable contributors to the cause, NBA hall of famer Jason Kidd was fully shaved in 2002 and got all the way to the finals to fall before the Lakers threepeat dynasty, but he wasn’t a star, he wasnt a physical man, he was quick, smart, slick even, but not dominant. Speaking of basketball even Kobe Bryant had to hold out till mid/late 2000s to finally embrace his fate and he was the most dominant man to ever touch a basketball since MJ (Shaq did nothing on his own, Wade carried him in Miami).

Men like Patrick Stewart had an air about them where we accepted them bald, but would we have accepted them going bald? If Jason Statham opened the door for bald white men, The Rock going full shaved head was the Kool-Aid man busting through the wall. The Rock is a hero to everyone, beloved by all, he has no faults, he makes wholesome movies and no one thinks he's corny, he seems like a genuinely good dude, you’re happy to see him succeed. He can be funny, he can be an action star, he can be intimidating, he can even wrestle! Also the rock isn’t in “entertainment” shape, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnsons is a big man who can generate kinetic force at a level that is beyond the comprehension of most people. His alpha status is lifelong, he can rest on his laurels for eternity. If he wanted to, he could bring back the Hitler mustache and play a villain in a Disney movie at the same time. That’s how bulletproof he is, so a hairline malfunction was nothing to him.

Finally white men could feel secure, if it happened to him it can happen to anyone, there was light at the end of this lifelong tunnel of flailing to stay relevant and sexy. The Rock, along with many names both mentioned and omitted from this piece, helped usher in an era of prosperity for the bald white men of the world.

[hopelesstvaddict]

ASOUE’S CONVOLUTED PLOT COMES TO ITS FINAL DENOUEMENT

It all led to this. With The Penultimate Peril, ASOUE manages to encompass all the ingredients that made its success - adults being incompetent, children being too bright for their own good, self-deriding humor and dry fourth wall-breaking, big emotional moments (good and bad), secret organizations and of course, how could it not end up in flames ? The Penultimate Peril sees the Baudelaires arriving at the Hotel Denouement, which again channels Wes Anderson - The Grand Budapest Hotel, anyone ? - along with Kit who of course, cannot go with them because the too rare adults who seem competent at what they’re doing cannot be too helpful. Otherwise, where is all the fun ? Kit explains that the concierge of the hotel are twins, Frank and Ernest (both played by Max Greenfield), with each one belonging to one side of VFD. The entire first part of this penultimate installment is dedicated to a funny and intriguing detective game where the three children try to discover who is the mysterious J.S who has summoned (almost) the entirety of VFD while balancing their interactions with the aforementioned concierges. Going up and down the immense hotel - a grandiloquent retro-chic styled set reminiscent of the luxurious Squalor appartment, only make it ten times bigger - yields hilarious situations such as the oblivious children asking ‘Are you Frank or Ernest ?’ and getting a simple ‘Yes’ as an answer, the darkly noir-ish giant clock which has nothing better than to utter the word ‘Wrong’ each time it rings, or the numerous returning guest stars.

Because yes, just like in the book, it seems all the people that the Baudelaire orphans ever encountered on their disastrous misadventures - everyone that managed to survive, that is - is somehow present in this hotel. If this sounds like a big reunion for a grand finale, that’s perhaps not too far-stretched because this two-parter actually works as a finale of some sort. In addition to Mr Poe (sans Mrs Poe, unfortunately), we are happy to reunite with Larry-Your-Waiter (Patrick Breen), still trying and failing to be helpful, Babs (Kerri Kenney-Silver), Vice Principal Nero (Roger Bart) - who himself introduces a seemingly random piece of information on the deeds of Prufrock Preparatory; of course, this show has taught us to never let anything slip past our attention and this late in the game, this cannot not be relevant to the rest of the story - and Jerome Squalor (Tony Hale), still bitter and completely afraid of his ex-wife (though he technically still refuses the validity of the ‘ex’). Originally, Sir (Don Johnson) and Charles (Rhys Darby) were also present; due to the actors’ unavailability, they were written out. Given how this whole event ends, it’s perhaps for the best but Jerome still undirectly mentions Charles, referring to he and himself as an item.

The whole guessing over the identity of J.S is compelling enough for those who like me, had forgotten the book. There are enough characters with the initials to fit the bill, chief among them the dearly departed Jacques Snicket (Nathan Fillion who unfortunately only appears in a photo). But Jacquelyn Scieszka, Jerome Squalor, Justice Strauss (Joan Cusack) or Julio Sham could also be candidates. The first part of the installment culminates in the ‘denouement’ of the J.S mystery as well as the Frank/Ernest question, introducing one last VFD member, fan-favorite Dewey Denouement, the triplet to Frank and Ernest (because in this series, everything works better in threes). It must be said that Max Greenfield does a great job in portraying the three brothers. The show makes the relationship between Dewey and Kit more explicit than it was in the books, which allows two things. First, a sense of shock and suspense, as the pair is seen kissing and we are made to believe we are seeing Ernest, the evil brother; second, it makes it that much harder to watch when another trusted ally is ripped away from the Baudelaires. Just like Olivia (Sara Rue) at the end of last season, Dewey meets an untimely death, only this time, Olaf is not (really) to blame. The scene in question, which caps off Part One, is beautifully framed as everything unravels for both the orphans and Olaf himself who finally alienates himself from Esme. Lucy Punch really nails the break-up scene and leave it to ASOUE to finish it off with a daddy joke. But it’s really the subsequent scene that follows which is the real highlight of this first part. As Olaf threatens to harpoon Dewey, Violet, Klaus and Sunny all place themselves in front of him and reason with him over the attempted murder. It’s really the culmination of the twisted relationship they reluctantly, unwittingly developed - no more running, no more hiding on the part of the children, and no more chasing them around on his account. The face-off could very well be amplified to epic levels. Instead, it is handled subtly, quietly and in a very soothing way. Olaf’s arc continues to evolve and we see the facade cracking further. The Man With A Beard But No Hair and The Woman With Hair But No Beard may play a villainous role in The Penultimate Peril but overall as characters, they are more like the Sugar Bowl, narrative devices used to propel their former pupil forward, rather than formidable adversaries on their own.

The scene ends with one of the most beautiful cinematography the series has achieved yet (in fact, the whole episode is aesthetically wonderful) with the dead Dewey floating above the secret underground library that no one knows the existence of, now that its owner is dead. But again, this is upstaged by the next scene, which reveals the long-suspected identity of a cab driver who offers the Baudelaires a ride to safety after the catastrophe they caused. This season, Patrick Warburton gets to interact with the rest of the cast as his Lemony meets for the first (and only) time the Baudelaires. While the scene is insignificant for the children themselves, present-day Lemony goes to great lengths to explain how this brief and failed meeting caused him regrets and prompted him to go on his investigation about the lives of the orphans, which is essentially the premise of the whole show.

The second part is dedicated to Olaf's trial in what could be a reference to the Seinfeld finale which staged a similar story for its own conclusion. With the show coming to an end, it finally brings satisfying answers as to the backstory of VFD and the fateful night at the opera that provoked the schism. After 23 episodes of obscure references and mentions, Beatrice (Morena Baccarin) finally makes an (instantly delightful) appearance. The flashback is compelling and while clearly a toned-down adaptation of what transpired in the books, it does work in terms of explaining what turned Olaf against the Baudelaire and Snicket families. Back in the present, the trial allows Olaf, the Baudelaires (in their iconic book outfits! I swear, the love and respect for the book material sometimes really amazes me) and Esme to shine as they each take the stand. The theme of morality comes back in full stance as Olaf turns the table on the children and forces them to admit that in surviving, they too have sometimes indulged in grey areas. It's an arc that played out for two seasons and seeing the Baudelaires finally come to terms with it is a good payoff.

This being the de-facto finale, the producers pack as much as they can and there are many references to the show's trademarks - Olaf is cut short in one of his musical numbers, several recurring phrases return - but not so much as character arcs closure. Larry is the only definite casualty of the episode - the death itself was (kind of) hilariously stupid and fitting for the character but it is a bit unnerving to really think about it and about the contrast it draws when Olaf later cannot bring himself to kill the Baudelaires - but the fates of the giant supporting cast is left dangling in the air as the episode comes to a fiery end. Olaf plans to poison the entirety of VFD with the Medusoid Mycelium but he needs the Sugar Bowl first. The Baudelaires convince him to burn the hotel instead, stemming from the logic that a fire will be slower than the poisonous fungus and will allow some to escape. That's unfortunately overestimating the capacity of reasonable logic from the adults in this show and we are treated with a delightful scene where the Baudelaires try to warn various characters of the danger only to be rebuffed; even when adults do believe them, there is nothing further they can do. And so we bid goodbye to Esme, Carmelita, Mr Poe and pretty much all who assembled at the hotel. The feeling is perhaps frustrating but that's exactly how it happened in the books and at this point, the story has worked itself enough to not make us care that much about the characters that are left behind. I must say that I have never seen fire depicted so strangely beautifully anywhere else. The visuals really defy the expectations I had when imagining those fires as I read them.

The Baudelaires sail off with Olaf with two more lessons; justice can be blind sometimes, courtesy of the Man With A Beard But No Hair and the Woman With Hair But No Beard, and sometimes you do fight fire with fire. In trying to prevent Olaf from mass-murdering an entire hotel, they have possibly achieved the same result. The fire thus destroys almost the entirety of VFD, both sides of the schism, all evidence that could damn Olaf and perhaps the Sugar Bowl which was dropped in the secret library. This could very well work as the final scenes of the series. So many things are now resolved. We know the backstory of VFD and now it does not exist anymore. We have searched and failed at finding the Sugar Bowl and now it doesn't exist anymore. We have tried to prove that Olaf is guilty and we have (kind of) but the proof does not exist anymore and we instead have come to the realization that the Baudelaires are not as pure as they want to appear. In terms of what this series was about, this is as close to full-circling as it can get and as good a sign that the end is near as the visual clues - none better than the opening scene from the season premiere where Lemony walks through the now-decaying underground tunnels. Present-day Lemony continues his monologues in those tunnels, repeating that for him, the story of the Baudelaires stops here as he lost all traces of them. Past Lemony is seen sharing a heartfelt moment with Beatrice which explains why he's been on the run all series long and features, for longtime fans, his iconic declaration of love, in a toned-down version of its original form as it appeared in The Beatrice Letters. (If you have nothing else to do, treat yourself to the entirety of it, you won't regret it. As Beatrice says, he 'always had a way with words'.)

To complete the many parallels harkening back to the beginnings, we are treated to a reprise of the song ‘That’s Not How The Story Goes’ while moments from the past seasons recap the unfortunate series of events that graced our screens for three years.

The Slippery Slope | The Grim Grotto | The Penultimate Peril | The End