#like back in the day there were so many blogs it was impossible to remember

[wildgorgeousthing]

iirc they've mentioned that "tumblr is back" like three times now. how would they know? they're in our walls, nay, badly hidden behind our curtains and under our beds. they know. they know, and we are being witnessed.

[femmeroll]

hiii, could you write something about sevika corrupting a sweet church girl?

your blog is really cute btw <3

omg omg omg !!! i’ve been dying to write something like this, thank you for the request!!

sevika x fem reader

cw: religion, corruption, implied age gap, fingering, semi-public.

you’re a good girl. made good grades in school, good daughter, good sister, kind person. you never miss a sunday service. and if you must, you’ll be at the church for service on monday afternoon. you spend your life being pure, avoiding sin wherever it may rear its devilish head.

no pride or greed or lust. just simple, sweet purity.

that is, until you meet that lady.

every day on your walk home from mass you see her. maybe mid forties, dark hair, and easily six feet tall. she stands outside the deli every morning at 11:45 on the dot for her smoke break.

and every sunday morning she says hello, or good morning, or asks how ‘sunday school’ is going. it’s strange. you always give her a smile, say hello back, but she seems so condescending. like every word she says to you is secretly making fun of you.

you don’t really know her either, which is weird. it’s a small town, everyone knows each other. not…her thought. she’s just an impossibly rude person you see on sundays that causes you to remember the jesus was always kind to strangers.

it’s a cold january morning, sidewalks slick with ice. like clockwork, that woman is standing outside the deli with her cigar.

“careful, virgin mary. don’t want you slippin’ out here.”

okay, rude.

“i’m okay, no need to worry,” you respond, stopping in your tracks in front of her. the gaze she holds on you is almost uncomfortable. she’s staring down at you like she’ll burst out laughing at any moment. like the mere idea of you is just hilarious to her.

“sevika, by the way. my name.”

oh. sevika. okay.

“y/n. it’s nice to properly meet you. i’ve never seen you around outside of…this.”

“i’m not very social” she responds.

you smile. you certainly know the best way for people to find community in town.

“well, there’s a service on mon-”

she cuts you off with a scoff. “not interested. not the place for me.”

“why not?”

sevika leans closer, letting her lips fall near your ears.

“i like smoking, drinking, cursing, fucking. it’s not the place for me, princess.”

you clutch the cross around your neck with a gasp. this is wrong on so many levels. sinful, disgusting, unnatural…and yet you feel your face getting impossibly redder.

sevika stomps out her cigarette. “see you next sunday, princess.”

whether you like it or not, sevika evokes quite a bit of lust in you. her smirk, her piercing grey eyes, her muscles that stretch the fabric of her impossibly tight tshirt…you can’t help it. the forbidden fruit is strong. you suppose it’s all a part of the lord’s plan. send you a taste of homosexual temptation and watch you be a true follower.

you aren’t though.

you entertain her flirting, all her lustful stares, and your church dresses start to come above the knee just to give her something to look at. you don’t know why you like this so much. it’s gross. it’s wrong. it’s against god’s wishes.

but jesus christ, one look from sevika and that all goes out the window. every good christian moral, everything you’ve known to be true disappears the second sevika locks eyes with you.

after a monday evening service, you take your weekly stroll home. it’s dinner time, and sevika is working.

you open the door to the deli, seeing sevika behind the counter. you watch silently as she meticulously rearranges the meats on display.

“i could use some dinner, sevika” you say and she perks up, brief shock replaced with her signature smirk.

“princess. c’mon back, i’ll make you whatever sandwich you want.”

and she does. you’re sitting on a wooden stool in the back of the deli, making small talk. sevika’s presence feels strangely right, like these little moments were made to happen. maybe this was the lord’s plan after all.

sevika steps closer, towering over you.

“you have sauce on your lips. messy eater, huh princess?”

she takes her calloused thumb and wipes the sauce away, eyes never leaving yours. the air feels thicker and your face feels hotter. and without skipping a beat, your lips on on sevika’s.

she stammers a bit in shock, then immediately gaining back control. she wraps her hand around the back of your neck to pull you in deeper. you can feel her smirking against you, prying your lips apart and exploring the inside of your mouth with her tongue.

her lips feel like the missing piece of a puzzle, perfectly slotting against yours in a dance of passion and affection. she’s calculated with the way she kisses, making sure you feel every bit of her tongue gliding against your mouth.

“sevika-” you pant, pulling away. “we shouldn’t, i-it’s not right.”

“shush, princess,” she growls, “gods not watching right now.”

and maybe he’s not. so fuck it. you nod and let sevika pull your blouse off, pushing her head into your chest. she litters your chest in bites, reveling in the sweet moans you let out.

her hands make their way under your skirt, silently asking for permission to pull your slick panties down.

all you can do is nod, desperate and utterly dumb for her touch.

“so soft, princess…” she moans, “so wet. is that all for me?”

another nod.

“you gonna be a good girl?”

another nod.

sevika pulls hand away with an evil grin. “words. or you aren’t getting shit from me.”

“yes, it’s all for you. yes, i’ll be good. please hurry before i remember that i’m a woman of god and stop,” you groan.

her ring finger circles your swollen clit, spreading your folds and rubbing you down to your needy hole. one of her thick fingers is enough to stretch you out, walls tightening around her as she slowly moves in and out of your cunt.

“tight fuckin’ pussy…so pure and innocent, huh? just a good little church girl who likes other women fucking her greedy cunt?”

she chuckles darkly at herself, and at the way you get even tighter at her mean words. so humiliating, so blasphemous, so unholy. and yet every deep, deliberate thrust has you closer and closer to cumming.

“sevika,” you whimper, “i can’t hold it, please.”

“is that right?” she teases.

“you can cum, baby. but make sure to repent after.”

[olderthannetfic]

hi, as someone who is tragically gen Z and only ever read AO3, can I ask: what was so great about LiveJournal? Like, I know that there were fics posted there (and I've even read about the "purge", so I get why it isn't used anymore) and that it was sort of a forum-type thing. But what I don't understand, wouldn't Tumblr fill in the latter function? How was that site any different? I see a lot of people reminiscing about it and I'm confused

--

A big factor in LJ's greatness is timing and nostalgia.

It was genuinely great, but it wasn't quite as great as all of the Lo, shall the Golden Age ne'er come again? posts suggest.

LJ arrived at a pivotal time in the development of the internet both in terms of technical stuff and how many people had access. Many fans who are now in their thirties to fifties first discovered fandom through LJ and many were at a time in their lives when they were feeling energetic and up to making lots of new friends—and to figuring out how to make a site work for them.

I got on LJ in 2002 when it required invites. Fandom arrived in droves in 2003, first via coordinated campaigns to get invites to key people and then when LJ opened up free account creation to everyone. Back then, LJ's features sucked. It was impossible to search properly, among other things. At its height (2005-7, let's say), there was a reasonable site search, and fans had developed all sorts of community resources for finding each other.

People often remember this phase but not the early days of suckitude.

This development parallels how Tumblr used to not have that private chat feature and how a lot of fuckyeah[whatever] type tumblrs have helped curate the site and make it much more usable for fans. Fandom draining away from LJ after strikethrough also parallels people draining away from Tumblr after the purge.

There are people who talk about Tumblr the way my cohort talks about LJ...

And to the shock of no one, they are people who came of age on Tumblr, who found fandom via Tumblr, who were on Tumblr during pivotal times in their lives and ones when they had energy to make friends and figure out how a site worked.

Those same Tumblrites are now making all the same geriatric-sounding posts we LJers do about how other sites lack the required features to be good for fandom while missing that 90% of tumblr's "features" at its height (2012-2016, let's say) were actually fan-created and were basically the same as any fandom newsletter or links page or all the versions of this kind of personal curation stretching back to long before the internet existed.

What life phase you hit a site at matters.

--

With all of that said, no, LJ was not a forum. It was a blogging site with threaded comments.

The key point to understand is that conversation was always happening in a specific person's space. Unlike on a true forum, people were in the comments on a particular post in a journal owned by another fan. (On a forum, there's the first post in a thread, but it's still more of a communal space with less of a hierarchy.)

Overall, the LJ format can have a feeling a bit like you're over at someone's house for tea. There's more of a sense of intimacy and also behaving yourself in front of community members.

Tumblr being obscure and impossible to find anything in does give it some of the same vibe relative to Twitter, but it's still part of modern social media that tries to shove every rando into the face of every other rando.

But it wasn't just vibes: LJ also had robust privacy features where you could lock a post to this or that group of friends. You could moderate your comments section properly. Tumblr has far fewer controls to force people to behave or leave on a technical level.

--

The biggest thing many people miss about LJ is the threaded comments. At least by late LJ and on Dreamwidth, you can expand and collapse threads, making it far easier to deal with a massive comments section. But more than that, things are properly threaded with multiple levels of hierarchy that are all easily visible in the same place.

On Tumblr, it used to be extremely difficult to find all of the actual commentary on a post. Nowadays, it's far easier, but you still have to scroll chronologically, and multiple versions of a post with a long chain of commentary may be much more divorced from each other than what would happen in a LJ comments section.

--

But could we use Tumblr pretty much how we used LJ?

We could.

I do.

--

The key things that people tend to miss about LJ, aside from the younger and more excited version of themselves or the friends they've lost since then, are:

Heavily text-based

It may sound odd on the modern internet, but there are a lot of people whose brains don't like or handle an image-heavy site well. They were everywhere in SF book fandom. They were everywhere on the early internet. Today, they're hanging out on Dreamwidth and still going to their SF cons. They're usually not on Tumblr.

You could follow the discussion

Threaded comments help, but a lot of it is about having some place you can check for updates. It wasn't actually that easy to follow big LJ discussions unless you were subscribed to comments and reading along as things were happening instead of coming along after the entire mass of comments had been left.

The tone of the discussion is intellectual and one's enemies are "idiots", not "problematic"

All this requires is a penchant for longwindedness and an itchy blocking finger to remove anyone slinging ad hominems from the comments section.

On tumblr, it's as simple as conversations happening in the replies on a popular account and that person not tolerating suibaiting and threats.

(And make no mistake, a lot of LJ discussion was in the comments on popular accounts, not spread equally between everyone's.)

It does require that multiple people like that tone and want to engage in that way, but lots of people do want to.

--

These days, I interact with tumblr by checking my askbox and reading my activity page. The vast, vast majority of my posts are ones where I'm the OP, so if I block someone, they're booted from the discussion entirely.

For me... yeah, Tumblr functions almost exactly like LJ.

Also like LJ, while I'm hosting the conversation, if you hang around, you'll see the same people again and again in the comments. They may or may not also host that kind of conversation in their space, and there's a larger pool of lurkers who have some notion of which people count as regulars. Other people are watching from the shadows, enjoying or deriding the takes of the usual crowd.

People presumably do like reading my lengthy commentary or they wouldn't be here, but my tumblr wouldn't be popular like this without a healthy pool of other people who chime in regularly. It's not just that there are more people: it's that you see the same people over time. There's a bit more sense of place and community than on some parts of the internet.

--

So, in my opinion, the failure to just recreate LJ fandom on Tumblr was a skill issue.

Threaded comments were great, but LJ culture came from mailing lists, and mailing lists had the same issue as tumblr with the diverging threads.

We solved that back then by clipping out only the parts we wanted to respond to (you'd write "snip" around the quotation to show it was incomplete). We solved the smaller LJ issue by linking to other posts we were referencing and doing discussion link roundups. We solve it on tumblr by, again, linking to what we're talking about and even quoting multiple reblog chains in our own reblog of just one chain.

--

Tumblr's technical features and even general crap-ness aren't really the problem. 90s and early 00s sites regularly went down for periods of time unthinkable today.

The missing piece is people.

When one is in an active fandom with others who curate or with friends who let one know what's up, a site with imperfect features is easy to figure out and retrofit for fandom's needs. When one already feels out of touch and is between fannish passions—or at least fannish passions anyone else cares about—seeing the potential in a new site is hard.

--

Threaded comments are different and better.

LJ's built-in way to see everyone's blog in your own style was better. The automatic timestamps and the ease of seeing a paginated archive of an entire blog was better than tumblr's endless scroll and lack of clear date labeling. But some of that can be fixed with xkit or knowing your way around tumblr well.

A lot of it is nostalgia for the lj era and a refusal to take the time to figure out how to use tumblr in an oldschool internet way.

--

So by all means, people, weigh in about what made LJ great or how the culture felt at the time...

But if I see one more god damn response going "You can't have a conversation on tumblr!" in reply to my tumblr, which contains nothing but conversation, I am coming for you.

[strwbrythoughts]

no stopping a man in love | alhaitham

In which the traveler and Paimon catches Alhaitham indulging in something unexpected.

A/N: I might as well make this whole blog dedicated to Alhaitham because man's got my heart in a chokehold :(

Divider by @/osqrie

The House of Daena was filled with the sounds of pages turned over and the quick footsteps of the students flitting from one bookcase to another. Furrowed eyebrows and downturned lips decorated each of their faces. The librarian seemed stressed out to navigate the flurry of students and assist them in finding books. Even a stranger could tell the obvious; examination season was right around the corner.

Alhaitham, the ex-Acting Grand Sage and current Scribe of the Akademiya, had his eyes glued onto his surroundings. Though his expression remained neutral, he couldn't deny the feeling of annoyance building up inside him. The library was way too noisy to be called one. It was a good thing that he was enjoying his read so far. Though, the choice of reading fiction was something that not a lot of people would expect from him.

Yes, he had a book titled "The Genius Falls in Love!" nestled in his hands.

He didn't really catch the eye of anyone. After all, it wasn't weird that the Scribe would spend his day in the library instead of his office. His work hours were long but he never really complied to them. That was something that the students were mighty jealous of. What they didn't know, however, was that his work was always submitted on time with the highest quality. A trait that most of them could only hope to achieve.

Alhaitham put on his noise-cancelling earphones. His eyes relaxed slightly as he could focus better on the book in his hand. He was already on chapter 22. An impressive amount of reading, given that he only received the book that morning.

His body rested fully onto the chair he sat on. He closed his eyes, remembering the sweet smile his wife gave him as she handed him the book.

'Here, honey!' she exclaimed, shoving a book into his hands. 'If you miss me at work, read this book I wrote! And tell me how it went, yeah?'

From the moment he stepped out of their shared house, he flipped the book open. 'Ridiculous,' he thought to himself. 'I always miss you when you're not by my side.'

And so off he went. He finished all the work he deemed urgent enough on that day, before immediately going back to reading. It was quite the comical sight, really. The stoic genius reading a fictional book? A romance, at that? Impossible. Utterly ridiculous.

And yet, here he was.

The work day passed by so quickly when he spent it reading. Before he knew it, the librarian came over to his spot and told him that the library was closing. Alhaitham immediately got up and left to go home.

--

The walk back was quiet and peaceful enough. The mere sight of his wife's face as she greeted him at the door was enough to make a smile appear on his face, no matter how slight.

"Honey! How was work today? What did you eat during lunch? Did you have time to read my book?" It was expected that his wife would bombard him with questions the moment he came home. However, she was special in every way. For instance, he would always answer each question she had calmly, no matter how frequent or stupid they may be.

"I'm back. Work was completed like usual today. I ate the lunch you prepared for me, and I'm halfway through your book, my dear."

His wife giggled at the thought of her husband taking some time out of his busy day to read her work. What she didn't know was that his day was scheduled around her, and never around anything else.

Until the traveler and Paimon had some interesting news to bring to her.

--

"Traveler, look! Is Alhaitham reading...a romance?"

Paimon's voice bounced off the walls of the House of Daena. She had successfully captured the eyes of many students, causing the traveler to put their hand over their head. Perhaps to block a headache induced by her lack of realisation that they were in the library.

Paimon's hands flew over her mouth right after the words were uttered. Her eyes seemed apologetic enough, darting over to the traveler as a silent apology. The traveler merely shot her an awkward smile.

It was a good thing that Alhaitham himself did not pay them any mind. The way his ears perked up slightly showed that he indeed heard Paimon, but perhaps chose to ignore them. However, the eyes glued to his person was quite bothersome, even for someone as stoic as him.

He shut the book in his hands quite loudly, hinting his irritation at Paimon. She only gulped and shot a panicked expression at the traveler, who deadpanned at her. The both of them stood still as they heard Alhaitham's footsteps approach them. He was getting closer and closer with each thud of his footsteps.

"I would appreciate if you did not point out whatever business unrelated to you." His voice was calm, just like his expression. His eyes told a different story all together. The traveler's flying companion could only apologise repeatedly, while the traveler shot him an apologetic smile.

After a few seconds of awkward silence between the trio, the Scribe walked away from the both of them. His right hand carried the romance book he was reading quite delicately, as if it was his most precious treasure. And it truly was.

Anything related to his wife was a treasure to him, and he would never forgive himself if he failed to appreciate even the simplest things about her.

--

"...and that was it! He seemed really annoyed that the Akademiya students were looking at him curiously." Paimon ended her story to Alhaitham's wife. She merely chuckled at the tale.

"Of course he was. He dislikes people getting into his business after all."

"Are you sure he isn't acting like that because he's embarrassed about getting caught reading something so...unexpected, of him?" The traveler furrowed their eyebrows as their companion asked such question with no hesitation. She really needed to learn to read the room sometimes.

Before she could answer, Alhaitham embraced his wife from behind. His eyes were calm, as if having his wife in his arms was all it took to make him feel tranquil.

"Do you really think I'd be reading such book in public if I were to be 'embarrassed' about it? Moreover, how could my lovely wife ever make me feel embarrassed?"

That was more than enough of an answer for the traveler and Paimon. They smiled sweetly at the response. The smiles were short lived, however, as Alhaitham sent them both out of his house, wanting to be alone with his wife.

Ah, well. There's no stopping a man in love, is there?

Thank you for reading! <3

[snk-warriors]

Can't Stay Away

Levi Ackerman x F! Reader

Summary: After the war ended, Levi finds himself at a familiar doorstep.

Warnings: Bittersweet angst, smut, not proofread

A/N: This blog is still officially inactive, but this story is a little gift for my dear friend @antivan-dragon. It was a joy to write it for you! <3

This is wrong.

He shouldn't be here - not after everything that had happened.

How long has it been, ten years? More?

It's hard to tell when you're used to live from moment to moment. Never knowing whether the current day might be your last really messes up one's perception of time.

All Levi's sure of is that the brief time he had allowed himself with you was the happiest he's ever been - than he ever thought to be capable of.

And yet, from his very first breath, his fate was clear: To him, living had always been a fight. Whether it was in the underground for food and safety, or against titans and humans alike under the clear sky mattered very little in the great concept of things.

The only home he's ever known was on the battlefield - until he met you, at least.

And still, Levi went back to the frontlines again and again and again because it's all he's ever known, the power he's born with a burdening duty upon the weak...

...but what place does a soldier have now, in a society without war?

This is what he fought for, right? To achieve peaceful times. Avenge his fallen comrades, honor his commander and protect as many people as possible from the unnecessary suffering this cruel world eventually provided.

Protecting you, first and foremost.

Your wellbeing has always been his greatest priority, and yet at the same time Levi was the one responsible for so much misery. Back then he convinced himself it was for the better, that he was doing you a favor by removing himself from your life.

In the end, all that's left for him now is the bitter feeling of regret.

Levi was aware that you would've waited for him, no matter how long it'd take until his return...

...but he was certain that his death was inevitable - a sacrifice he'd gladly take if it'd meant ensuring you a long and fulfilled life. And even if the impossible case of his survival would occur, he'd be a different man by then.

Ultimatively, he has become exactly this: Unlike you remember him, and definetly nothing close to what you deserved.

Maybe even in different circumstances he could never live up to the expectations he had set in himself - at least when it came to you.

But he felt as if you were like pure sunlight and he was a moth, drawn to it. No, he was the moon - selfishly absorbing and covering your brightness.

So, in order to make things easier for you, he pushed you away despite his soul screaming for him to stay at your side until humanity would reduce itself to ashes.

When no words would dring through to your devoted self, he announced an engagement to Petra, efficiently shattering your heart in the process.

Nothing Levi had ever done was as hard a task.

Given time however you'd find someone worthy to give you the life he longed for so deeply but never could, at least that's what he thought...

...yet when he heard that you never married even after all this time, his rationality stands no chance against the aching of his own loneliness.

Just to look how you've been he told himself on the way, and for an overdue apology.

Your little cottage on the outskirts of Wall Rose still looks as if he never left. It always smelled of lavender and honey, and whatever you were baking at the time.

Levi switched from the wheelchair to his cane, still able to walk by himself at least for a short distance. Only a few stairs separated the two of you, and it was the longest he's ever took - not because of his disability, but rather to gather all of his courage.

Facing his enemies was a piece of cake compared to this right now.

Though it felt wrong to do so he peeked through the window, his face twitching into an almost-smile as he finally laid eyes upon you again. The inside was cleaned spotless as always, neatly yet minimalistic decorated. You on the other hand were currently preparing some pastries, contently humming to yourself.

It felt like he never left.

What about you, he wondered. Had there been others after him? What was your life like these days? He wants to know everything.

That goddamn cat was still alive as it seems, curiously pricking up it's ears as it recognized the familiar - altough mangled - face. You and him had argued a lot about letting feral animals into your home, due to Levi's concern for hygiene and especially that damn fur everywhere in the house.

One glare from the man and it hissed, jumping down from the front porch and bolting into the forrest. Shit.

Living alone and isolated from civilization was dangerous, especially for a single woman. So it was no wonder how hyper-aware you still are, immediately swinging the door open with a clocked rifle.

Oh, how much he missed that side of you. The perfect combination of cute but deadly.

"Levi..." His features immediately softened at the sound of your voice. To him that name had been reduced to a battle cry, something for his enemies to curse and his superiors yelled to wield their human weapon around.

But coming out of your mouth, he could listen to it all day even if it was just to hurl insults at him.

Instead you put your welcoming arms around him before the weapon even dropped to the ground, heartwrenching sobs echoing against the pinewoods. "God, Levi, you-you're back. You're finally back...I-I knew you'd come!"

The former Captain should be relieved, and frankly, he is - nevertheless, things shouldn't be this way.

He had left so you could live...and you simply didn't.

This wasn't fair. And it drove him insane. There was an immense fury at the pit of his stomach at the realization that his withhold was for nothing, that you had wasted both of your lifetimes through your stubbornness.

You should have found yourself a man that could give you a family, a stable life, goddamn it the whole fucking world shall you ask!

However the sheer fact that he was finally able to breathe the same air as you again overshadowed any grudge with pure gratitude.

His whole life Levi had been was a dedicated, dutiful combatant, unquestioning to his orders. Now that the war was over, there was nothing left for him to do, nowhere left to go.

This one time, he'll allow himself to be selfish.

A hand on the back of your neck pulled you to close the remaining distance between the two of you, sealing his mute promises with a longdue kiss.

Levi had kissed you before - always rough and demanding. That's how things were between you, after all: He came to your home solely to get a taste of what normalcry, being human, was like, just to disappear after having realized his mistake.

If it meant he'd stay in your life, if only feebly, that was more than enough for you.

But this kiss...it was different. Tender, savouring, unwilling to pull away even tor so much as breathing air.

When your lips finally parted, you placed another, small peck to the corner of his lips. Your hands reached for his face, cupping it on both sides as if to make sure he's really there.

For a moment he pulls back, doubting his decision.

After all, the man in front of you was a shell of his former self, old and disfigured and broken. Petra was long since dead, you'd heard about the tragic circumstance.

He never wanted to give you the impression that you were just a last resort for when everyone else had forsaken him.

Noticing his internal struggle - an amazing talent only you possessed, since his expression was as still as a statue - you clutch the fabric of his shirt, gently tugging him inside. He has to lean onto you for support, stumbling into the all-too-familiar room.

You feel calloused hands on your body, caressing every inch of your exposed skin and sliding under your clothes. "Tell me to stop" he speaks breathlessly, sternly, "And I will."

Instead you frantically shake your head as you moan into his ear, one leg wrapping around his waist as he pushed you against the wall, busying yourself with rising blood on the skin of your neck. Fuck, he's missed your scent.

"B-Bed" you manage to wring out as his hand slips under your skirt, fingertips tracing the wet spot between your legs. He was eager, intoxicated one might say, but you could clearly feel how his own legs were close to giving in.

The thrill of the moment was briefly overshadowed by the humiliation of his new reality. In the past he would've taken you anywhere in the house, would've been able to lift you up and throw you onto the mattress if you so desired.

Another jab at his conscience that he'll never be good enough for you. If only he knew this was the way you'd always wanted him: Slow, passionate, caring...

"Don't worry about me" he speaks nonchalantly, yet the determination in his glare makes you shiver. Levi dropped to his knees just like that, his hands wandering upwards each of your legs. "Let me worship you."

You half-laugh, half-whine when he sunk his teeth into the flesh of your upper thigh, remembering how much he loved leaving little marks like love-letters on your skin. Old habits die hard, even when trying to be gentle.

Without hesitating, Levi twirls his fingers around the hem of your already dripping panty, pulling it down just enough to put his mouth to work. His teasing made you a whimmering mess, taking his time tracing kisses around the area close enough to feel his breath on your clit.

"Shi-it, Levi!" you let out a scream as his tongue slid along your folds, muffling your own noises by a hand on your mouth until Levi tugs at your arms. "I need to hear you, love. It's been too long."

And so you did, begging and moaning shamelessly as Levi ate you out like a man starving, palming himself through his trousers with eyes never leaving yours.

Hearing you like this made something in him snap, and yet you tugged on his hair, tugging him away just before you'd fall apart in front of him. "Not like this" you pant heavily, head spinning from lust, "I need you. Completely."

He simply nods at the request, unable to keep his hands from you even the short way to your bedroom. Your gown fell to the floor as he watched, a low groan escaping his closed mouth at the sight.

Time sure had taken a toll on both of you, he thinks as his knuckles brushed along your cheek, diving in your features that had slowly faded in his memory over the years...

...but your eyes, those damn beautiful orbs that showcased the love you held for him, they didn't change a bit.

And their effect on him was also still the same.

Before you first met he was sure that all those hardships had turned his heart into stone, but now this yearning had become a dagger he desperately wanted to pull out, make his heart bleed in reverence.

Levi was a man that spoke through actions, however.

Your fingers intertwined when he aligned himself with your entrance, searching your face to which you gave a permissing nod. He entered you carefully, adoring every microexpression, every reaction of yours when he started at a slow pace.

Even in his current state, his skill lacked nothing from his former peak: It was as if you could feel his hands and lips were everywhere at once, hitting all of your weak spots as if your body was a map he had learned by heart.

"I love you."

Your pupils were blown wide at his declaration, those words you had already long since made peace with to never hear coming out of his mouth.

A look that could only be described as pure affection plastered on his face, kissing along your collarbone up to your ear. "I love you, Y/N" he speaks again, more firmly now and smiling sincere as never before now that this self-inflicted weight had finally been lifted from his shoulders. "Always did."

Tears dwelled in your eyes, vocal cords lost their ability to form anything else than sobs and moans as your lips found his again, smiling against his mouth.

Words were never needed when it came to the bond of you and Levi, after all.

As his thrusts became more clumsy, ragged breaths whispering sweet affirmations barely audible to your ear, burying his hips against your pelvis as he rode you through your high. He followed closely after you came undone, stiling above you without any intend to leave this sweet escape he found in your arms.

Your hands rested on his shoulder blades when he felt safe enough to collapse in front of you, his head lying on your chest as your heartbeat soothed him just like back then.

He was alive. And you were his.

"Please" you sniveled, anxiety preventing you to endulge in the afterwaves of your ebbing high, "Never leave again."

You clung to him for dear life, limbs entangled as if he was just a pleasant dream that would disappear as soon as you dared letting go.

That moment Levi made an oath to himself: No matter his insecurities, for the rest of his life he'd dedicate to become the man you see in him.

There was a lot to make up for.

"If you'll have me."

[maddie-grove]

What do you think are some legitimate things (trends, author problems, etc) to criticize about in romance novels?

So, romance novels can be offensive in all the ways that fiction in general can be offensive, but, if I had to pick one thing that's pervasive yet fairly specific to the genre, it's the rigidity of gender roles in m/f romance. The hero is more often than not physically bigger, older, richer, and (especially in historical romance) higher-class than the heroine, and, when he doesn't have the advantage in every category, the narrative frequently (a) makes him even more powerful in the areas where he does have the advantage (i.e., she may be more aristocratic but he's very, very rich and he's friends with aristocrats now and he's big and strong and blah blah blah) or (b) is super-self-conscious about the dude being less powerful in some ways (i.e., over-explaining why he's still worthy as a partner and/or isn't put off by the heroine being taller or older or richer). I think this is sometimes a trend that comes from the top (I remember Courtney Milan saying something about getting flak for not making a hero a duke back in the early 2010s, even though he was still a confident, good-looking gentleman with money) and sometimes one that comes from readers (there was a romance review blog that I lost patience with because the reviewer couldn't relate to tall heroines). Plus, when the heroine does have more power in some way, it's usually not by a lot; like, it would be totally unremarkable if the genders were reversed. I remember reading a romance novella anthology specifically about older women/younger men, and I think only one novella had an age gap of ten or more years. (In one novella he was literally a day younger.) Meanwhile, how many historical romance novels have a twenty-year-old heroine and a thirty-year-old hero and it's treated like nothing?

On the more meta side: I think it's generally bad when authors have to spend a lot of time doing self-promotion on social media. That means less time to actually write and sometimes more self-consciousness because the book is kind of being written for people the author knows online. That's not exclusive to romance, but it is a genre largely written and read by women, and I think that results in a lot of pressure to be Nice (which includes not giving a negative opinion about a book).

I'm not a fan of the move towards "rom-com" contemporary romance, but that's largely because that's not my thing inherently. However, I do feel like many authors simultaneously want the hijinks of a romantic comedy and a romance that would be Healthy in Real Life. Which isn't impossible, but it takes more finesse than they usually have.

[melobin]

it’s our one year anniversary!! and it’s absolutely surreal to me how much we’ve grown over the past year. i love melobin so much, i adore being here and i adore being able to share things with all of you and i can’t wait to share more of the things i have planned !!

the past year has definitely been a little rocky LFMAO i’ve been through three url changes and more than one silly ot6 accusation exposing post but i’m still here ! and i’m still adoring and supporting riize as a whole. it’s been a few years since I’ve found myself as in love with a group as i am with riize and im so incredibly grateful that i got to meet so many wonderful people because of them. from mutuals to anons to just people who interact with my blog, i really adore and appreciate you all, more than i can express in words. i’ve taken a few breaks in the past year, all mental health related but you’ve all been so understanding and i cannot thank you enough for that.

it’s quite overwhelming that melobin has gained over 3.7k followers in the past year, i never really expected much other than a few people to talk to when i first started my blog but im so happy with the little community we’ve created here and i can’t wait for it to continue 🥺 i truly adore you all.

the melody and friends discord server has been a highlight of melobin for me !! i love that server and everyone i’ve met through it, i wanted to create a community that was welcoming and comforting and friendly and i truly believe i’ve done that.

not to be too soppy but there’s definitely some people i’d like to personally thank for being here this past year.

@kkurokitty my jaye !! i love you and everything you do so much. you were there when i first created melobin, we had our little taerae pfps and urls 😭 things have definitely changed a lot since then but you’re since as wonderful as the day we met all those years ago and im so thankful to have you.

@leejeongz amy ☹️ not even god knows how much you mean to me. everyday we speak i feel like we’re closer even if we’re a whole train ride apart. having you back in my life has been one of the best things to ever happen to me and i can’t wait to see you again. manifesting riize come to the UK soon so we can go and see them together. forever the moon to my stars 💔 i love you so bad :(.

@rishimuras melomiu <3 i’m so glad tals forced you to join my server the day it was created. it’s insane to me that we’ve been friends for almost a year now because i still feel like the same girl who was scared to message you whilst also feeling like ive known you for years. you’ve been a big part of melobin and my life for the past few months and i adore you so much. i only ever wish you the best and im more than ready to take on anyone who threatens that. i love you !!

@01zfan parter in crime i fear … the only person im honoured to lose 100 lp with in one day after spam playing tft with our little duckbills and dowsies. i was your biggest fan before we ever spoke and i remember almost doing a (metaphorical) backflip when i found out you already followed me 😭 your writing has changed me as a person and im so thankful to have become friends with you over the past few months. we fight the ot6 accusations together and we get you to plat SOON. i love you !! 💖

@tsandoll bunny !!!!!!!!! i love you !! you’ve been such a support for me with melobin and i can’t thank you enough! i love our little roblox games and the amount of shit we talk, i’m always laughing whenever we talk it’s almost impossible not to. you understand my humour so much and even when you don’t you still laugh .. true friend !!! i really hope soon you can feel better and feel like yourself again, i love you 💗

@sonjuyeonnie i wish i knew what blog to tag .. my fake text proof reader .. but seo i love you you’ve been such a sweetheart to me since you joined my server and i’ve been nothing but proud of you since then. you’ve accomplished so much and im so happy to see you thriving in life. i know we haven’t been able to talk much lately because of work but never forget how much i adore you and how im always here 💖

with some other people .. @antoncore my cee, you’ve grown so much in the few months we’ve known each other and i’m forever proud of you and i can’t wait to watch you grow more, i love you !! … @bbina my smau queen, btl changed me as a person and i’ll always support you in every smau you write even if i don’t know the idol you’re just TOO good. you’re so lovely and sweet and funny i luv yewww !! … @wonbin-truther the prettiest girl !! you’re so sweet and funny and so so talented, your sohee smau was pure GOLD i loved every second of it and i love seeing you pop up in my dms with the most random message, i fear i love you so bad 💔

there’s definitely others and i do adore all my mutuals so much !!! you all mean so much to me and i can’t wait for melobin to grow more. to one year and many more ! 💖

[mistkisbiggestfan]

heyyyy i just wanted t ask if you could post a part two to white lion i have reread it so many times its totally ok if you are taking a break to work on mental health or would prefer writting stuff you choose this just a silly little request (sorry i there is spelling mistakes my english isnt that good)

Pidge / Reader | White Lion - Complete rewrite - Part I

Rewrite of the fic I still have up on this blog!!

A/n: I'm back?? I think?

Words: 1221

With insomnia nothing’s real, you learn that early on, everything’s far enough to be impossible to reach. Stuck inside an endless loop, a sort of unbreakable cycle. Back then; you were not ready for failure of any kind.

As a White Paladin of Voltron your sole mission was to protect other paladins and people around you. That’s all the White Paladin was, a glorified version of a healing pod, and you hated it. Everyone neglected you, not as a friend of course, but as a valuable fighter and defender of the universe. A medic was what you were made out to be, a brute by nature and a pacifist by force, all you could do was save, even if you tried to charge into battle you were quickly pushed off – back to the sidelines. Allura told you before; each Lion has a unique bond to a specific, and only one, Paladin. Sealed by fate, with no choice, you stayed.

The only one treating you fairly was your lover, Pidge. Both young prodigies, top students of Garrison, with a heart of gold and a particularly sharp and witty comebacks. Made for each other it seemed. They actually appreciated the help they got from you during and out of battle, that was, to your dismay, cut short. As war with Galra raged on, everyone forgot about any other struggles disregarding the threat across the universe.

Soon, Pidge began to share the view about you with other paladins, bit by bit, you realized that now, not a single soul believed in you being anything else but support — You were young, skillful in this specific subject, and rather weak at first glance, but you were more than that, more than what they made you out to be.

Often, on different restless nights, you were left wondering certain things. ‘Am I just a waste to them? Keith already said that, do others agree with him? What does Pidge think?’ All loose questions tied neatly with a string of paranoia and a hint of anxiety building up.  And like that, the overthinking pursued. No one even noticed you staying out of conversations, blindly following orders, no one noticed because it was making everything so much easier. Hunk asked you at times; “Hey Y/N.. you seem quiet lately, everything alright?” But just a few words were enough to shoo him away. “Yeah, don’t worry about me. I’m the White Paladin, remember?” You often said, but you never voiced the rest of this sentence you grew to mutter each day: “The one who is supposed to help.” And Hunk, begrudgingly, let go.

Keith outright believed you were too young and just a nuisance on the battlefield; you suspected he had something against you because you caught onto him and his feelings regarding Lance, as he, himself, wasn’t yet able to face those feelings. The thought that someone knew made him defensive. At least Lance was oblivious enough for this to not be too much of an awkward situation, from what all others knew, besides you it seemed, Lance and Keith hated each other. Or, at very least, strongly disliked each other's presence. At first, before you became a nuisance, your insomnia induced night walks roaming the Castle grounds were often guided by different team members, Shiro eased your mind by comforting, Hunk baked with you, Coran told stories of the White Paladins before you — not many, but still. Allura didn’t have to say a word, as you treasured her camaraderie dearly. Lance made a habit of beauty sleepovers, and even Keith offered you a sparring match from time to time, even though he still argued with others he disliked you greatly. At times like these, you often resided with Pidge. They had a bad habit of staying way up into the night to focus on their work, not from their insomnia, but from a severe case of workaholism.

You liked to walk into their room quietly, your own feet dragging you to their room as you hadn’t even registered. You walked all the way there, sitting down beside them as they worked away on their laptop. Without a word, passing out from exhaustion next to them, feeling safe enough to let go, even if it was only for an hour or two. Waking up tired, but not overwhelmingly lonely and disoriented, as their hand around yours grounded you like an anchor. But what times often do is change. Comfort made you weak enough to believe it’ll last forever, but with a heavy heart you realized — nothing does. Your life hit a rocky path, if it can still do that after getting dragged against your will into an intergalactic war with all hopes resting on you and other bunch of dysfunctional young adults, your insomnia got worse, getting pushed off to the sidelines too.

You were a Paladin, and with an actual bond with a Lion no less, so why were you stuck organizing missions with Allura as Coran talked your ear off? Was it stupid you were jealous of each successful mission, as they came back in glee and the thrill of winning yet another battle? Maybe. Did you still feel through it like an overwhelming blade stuck inside that twisted each time you realized you were just a backup plan? Yes. All you wanted was to prove yourself, you could be useful, really. But each time Shiro said that you’re enough, you felt as if the words hitting your ears were hollow. No one assisted your nightly walks anymore. Pidge was busy. Way more busy than you had ever seen them, there was no comfort in the galaxy you could give them for them to stop their work for even a second. Realizing that leaving them alone was the best thing you could give them, you did just that, and to your small heartbreak, you received no words addressing the fact, no complaints either. Getting as desperate as walking into the training room, in case Keith was staying up late too, you often were met with nothing. Sometimes, Keith was there, but most times your ears were met with sharp yet tired words; “You shouldn’t train this late, a medic shouldn't be half-dead each day.” And with a roll of your eyes, you often walked out.

Sometimes, you stood there a second longer, savoring the meeting, and letting the hatred built up as your mind was screaming: “I’m not just a medic! I’m a Paladin just like you!”. But in the end, you sat in that cold, and now, lonely, room of yours.

Your eyes scanning over the same wall you always faced. Tired gaze raking through the metal, dissecting it into pieces, logic you couldn’t grasp. At times like this, moments before shutting off from complete exhaustion, even you had no idea how to comprehend the drive that was pushing you at such times.

Maybe tomorrow, it’ll all make sense. Maybe tomorrow won’t be just a copy of today, which was just a copy of yesterday.

At least, tomorrow, you’ll finally go on a mission, after this whole time, which felt like eternity and a second, all too far to understand and grasp. With that thought, you had no idea what came next, as your exhausted body hit the bed.

You passed out.

Again.

[hesthermay]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄

PAIRING: bucky barnes x f!reader

SUMMARY: bucky barnes and the domesticity he deserves.

WORD COUNT: 1.1k

RATING + WARNINGS: general audiences, domestic themes, fluff. use of she/her, more fluff, use of y/n, more fluff. in my head reader works outside lolzies

NOTES: marvel!? again!? it never ended!! just switched to something else for a bit but hesthermay will always be a multifandom blog! i quite literally am attached to too many things for it to just be one anymore lmao. anyways!! this is apart of the lady may universe, all works will be labelled as such but remember they do not need to be read in any order or together at all! they can be read as standalone stories because they are all apart of a collection!!

MARVEL MASTERLIST LADY MAY UNIVERSE

The sun had just finished setting, the dark sky staring back at him as he stood in front of the kitchen window. 

Bucky Barnes wiped his flesh hand on his jeans before reaching up to readjust the phone wedged between his cheek and shoulder before it could fall. His other remained submerged in the soapy dishwater, metal fingers clutching the wine glass more delicately than his past self ever thought he could as he secured the device. “No, Steve—if you need me, I can come back.” 

The blonde man shot him down immediately, insisting that it would only be a waste. Bucky sighed deeply and quietly, knowing his friend was as stubborn as they came.. “Alright, punk; if you say so.” 

Truth be told, he did not want to go back just yet. As tired as he’d gotten over the years, the fight most likely wouldn’t ever leave James Buchanan Barnes’ life and that was just something he was going to have to accept. But when he’s here, in the tiny town in the middle of nowhere that was his very slice of paradise, there was no fighting. Only hard work and long days, warm evenings and calm nights, and loud laughter and dinners shared between two. 

The life that Y/N L/N had given him was not one he had predicted, but one he would never take for granted. It was…all he could possibly want. If the world were to end tomorrow, he would spend his last moments with his lips on hers. 

A tail hitting against his calf was what caught his attention and momentarily pulled him away from the conversation, glancing down at the plump dog stood next to him. Her eyes were trained on the doorway of the kitchen and the brunette knew exactly what she’d picked up on, a grin growing on his face as the last dish was dried and put away. 

“Steve, I gotta go, Y/N/N just got home…okay, okay—I’ll tell her,” he chuckled as his metal hand swiped a rag over the counter quickly.

“Tell who what?” A voice piped up from behind him and the cloth was soon abandoned as he whirled around. There she was, standing in the doorway dressed for work and looking like it’d been a long day of it, while still radiating the kind of beauty he swore he’d never get tired of.

Bucky’s grin grew into a smile impossibly fast for a man who used to be a shell, a weapon, but that wasn’t unusual for him these days. “Ah, speak of the devil and she shall appear,” he remarked, and was met with an eye roll from his love and a laugh from his friend, before pulling the phone away from his ear. 

With one click, Steve Rogers was put on speaker phone and thrown under the bus. “Stevie says you owe him a dinner from when he kicked your ass in beer pong.” 

“I did not say that!” 

Y/N’s laugh echoed around the kitchen and filled Bucky’s chest with joy. “Oh, well quit your complaining and get your ass down here then!” She called out as she made her way to the fridge, boots thumping against the floor. “And last I recall, there was no ass kicking. You barely beat me, Rogers.” 

Steve and Y/N got along great, and it had become obvious to Bucky very quickly that they acted just like siblings. Their dynamic mimicked that of an older brother and younger sister, and if they didn’t look so different it’d be hard to tell they weren’t related. If they were, Bucky knew she’d give Steve a run for his money. 

“I’m all booked up for the next few weeks unfortunately,” the captain’s voice filtered through the speaker, “but I wouldn’t be opposed to a visit after I clear everything up.” 

“Oh,” Bucky drawled out as he leaned against the counter, arms and ankles crossed in the very name of ease, “I bet you wouldn’t. Grandma’s cooking’s pretty good, right?” 

Another laugh was accompanied by the popping of a beer bottle’s cap coming off and the clinging sound of it hitting the floor. “You’re damn right!” Leaning down to pick up the trash, Y/N continued to speak to Steve but the mechanic had already gained tunnel vision. 

His eyes were on her everywhere she went, observing the way her lips formed the words but not really hearing what they were, the way her eyes flitted over to him every few minutes because she was just as obsessed with him as he was her. 

The life that Y/N L/N had given him was not one he predicted, but one he would rather die than take for granted. It was his greatest gift.

The sound of his name broke his concentration and he was brought back to the present, tuning in to the conversation to hear Steve saying his goodbyes, throwing a ‘talk to ya later, Buck!’ at the end before he hung up. The phone was forgotten, remaining in the same spot with a black screen as the family of two now focused solely on one another. Y/N walked to the sink, beginning to wash her hands as she looked at the man before her with a semi serious face. “I sure am glad Steve let you have a break even with this long mission. I was starting to go a little crazy,” she chuckled. 

“I’ll always find a way back to you, lover girl,” he replied smoothly with that crooked grin as one hand reached out to swipe a thumb across her cheek, wiping off the smudge of dirt left over from her day at work. She beamed at him and he couldn’t help himself, couldn’t stop himself from pulling her in for a kiss; a kiss that conveyed how much he’d missed her, how long he’d waited for her, and just how much he loved her. 

When they broke apart she laughed ever so softly, eyes a little out of focus as she recovered from the display of affection. “You gonna let me set the table, Barnes?” 

“I suppose I could,” he feigned reluctance, waiting until the very last second to release his hold on her face, hands slowly pulling away from her face where they were gently resting. 

“Thank you for making dinner, by the way,” she threw over shoulder as she made her way into the next room with the plates and silverware stacked in her hands, and he followed her with the trays of food he had prepared for them. 

“Of course, doll,” he assured, knowing that if not for her he wouldn’t be able to make this meal nor would he have the motivation to learn how to. This domesticity, the routine of home life, was utter bliss. 

The life that Bucky Barnes had gained was not one he ever thought was possible for him, but it was one he would never let go of. It was all he needed, all he wanted, all he’d dreamt of. 

all works on this blog belong to hesthermay.tumblr.com: do not copy, repost onto other sites, or claim my work as your own.

[ingo-ingoing-ingone]

A Personal Post

Hi guys, I'm finally making the post I kept telling myself and my best friends I'd make but wanted to put it off until I felt better. That hasn't happened and with how things are going I thought it was best to just post it now.

So for a while, since probably late 2023, I've felt less like my blog is for me, and more like it's some kind of fandom archive. Which, if you use it this way as-is, great! I'm glad my blog could make you happy like that! But that's not what I set out for it to be.

I'm the sort of neurodivergent person who likes to categorize things, including my interests. All my tumblr blogs are specific to one thing, and this one was no exception.

I began tagging things soon after I made the blog because I saw a lot of people were sad about the twins, and I thought "well since I love both sad and happy stuff, and I'm really good about categorizing things, maybe I can try and help!" And according to many, it did help!

But I think that also gave off the impression that I was making this blog for other folks, and that isn't the case. I'm sorry I never clarified. It's not an archive; I do not reblog shipping posts, posts from people I've blocked, AUs I don't click with, and sometimes just not everything I see.

I've gotten popular in the fandom, and for the most part I do, from the bottom of my heart, enjoy it. I have people who care about my hyperfixation! That's amazing! I have people who love my cosplay and want to meet up with me. I've made so many friends of all shapes and sizes and it's probably the most incredible thing I've ever experienced, truth be told.

But yeah my blog being mine has gotten away from me a bit, I think.

I want to keep tagging my submas tags, that isn't going to change. I will tag triggers when asked, unless it's kind of impossible due to the blog's subject (trains, for instance) or a name or really common word (like the word 'head' or something). Other than that please reach out and I'll do my best to remember. But other tags? Those will be up to me. I don't want to tag when OCs show up. I love OCs and like seeing them, and don't want to have to remember that one person who visits my blog doesn't.

I had anon off for a while because honestly ever since making this blog, there have been anons who really made me unhappy. (Also yes, non-anons but that's been fewer and far between). I've gotten misinformation, accusations, horrible and disgusting explicit asks, and criticisms and complaints, and I'm just... Not here for that. Keep the explicit things and misinfo out of my inbox, I am no arbiter of morality or personal decisions, and I am not here for you to share your negative opinions of submas or the fandom.

Anon is on for people who are too self conscious to chat face to face, for people to send fun headcanon ideas (remember when people did that back in 2022 when this blog started? I miss that, it was sweet and wholesome), to share song recommendations... That kind of stuff. If you have an actual problem, please, PLEASE talk to me off anon, whether that be DMs or a non-anon ask that I can answer privately. Especially if we're friends; please, please just talk to me about stuff. I don't bite! I swear!

But yeah the bottom line is I'm here to participate in fun (and sometimes heartbreaking!) fandom stuff. I'm here for FUN, not as my job. I know that we're all a bunch of neurodivergent folks and sometimes interactions can be a swing and a miss, but please try to be mindful. Please treat me like a person and not just like a museum curator for this blog.

Truth is, I haven't been okay for a while now. It's gotten worse this year for sure, and due to life stuff I cannot see things feeling better for me for some time. I need to go day by day for a lot of things, and I am trying to get better about needing to set boundaries and all that sort of thing. I suffer from intense paranoia too, and having so many eyes on me is genuinely terrifying at times. I'm trying to manage that as best I can, but I do ask that folks be kind.

NO I am not going anywhere, my blog is staying and will continue on as normal, but I really, really needed to get this posted.

Please continue to interact with me and chat and everything like that! But also please remember to treat this space, my blog, as my space. Thanks for reading!

[randomfoggytiger]

Dear Tiger, I have always recommended your blog to many people who are interested in the X-Files. My recommendation goes something like this: “Brilliant analysis, well-founded opinions, without unnecessary judgments about the actors' private lives. But beware! The blog is very fond of David and can't be impartial. It's not hostile, but, even unconsciously, it minimizes Scully's importance and Gillian's talent, to the detriment of Mulder and Duchovny. Imagine the blog as if it were a proud mother talking about a beloved child, extolling (and greatly exaggerating) their qualities, and ignoring their flaws. In conclusion, if you allow for this fierce protection of David, it's one of the best - if not the best - blog about the X-Files.” When I read his analysis of the questions posed by Anon, I couldn't help but smile and remember this recommendation of mine. Duchovny is lucky to have such loyal and positive fans, who get to see the best version of him, always. An excellent 2025 to you Tiger, I'll always keep coming back and recommending your blog.🥰🥰 PS: On this particular topic, I think about 85% of your analysis is correct - but there's about 15% that I disagree with, I think it's more of a speculation/interpretation favorable to Duchovny, than exactly the reality.

I was reading this feeling all fuzzy before I got to the "impossible to be impartial" bit. XDDDD

Ah, well. Do I come across as partial? o.o Hm, I can tone down my language in future if needed-- don't mean to come across as if I hero worship (or mentally coddle) DD. His personal life isn't intertwined with mine, for one; and he's also a man who behaved selfishly, made terrible mistakes, and didn't learn gratitude until AA. He's probably still selfish because all humans are; but he's also made personal changes, has grown a lot, and continues to prove-- via his work and actions and interests and mindset-- that he isn't regressing. I give him the charitability I hand to any other person I deem 'good' and 'doing their best'. Ultimately, I just get super happy for others who are trying and are succeeding or are on the path to their own version of success. :DDDDDD

I will say, you do raise a point I've been mulling over: I don't talk about Gillian as much as I do David solely because I haven't found a blog that gives me all her work/projects/interviews/etc. up front. Though I will stipulate that I don't see the sense in taking his side over hers-- there aren't sides in their relationship to me. And I'm fond of her, too! :))))))) She did incredible work on The X-Files, and incredible work afterwards. And she powered through the 90s as a divorced, single mom with mental health struggles, which is worthy of an award. Again, I simply have less easy access to her work. I do heavily disagree that I minimize GA's importance and talent, unconsciously or not: she's part of a team; and she carried the show on her back in David's absence. That more than wins her a medal of honor. Moreover, Scully is irrefutably a woman so forward-moving and inspiring in her own right that the Scully Effect was created in her honor. (She also inspired me to take better care of my nails. Her manicures are spectacular.) You can't have the show without her.

Now that I've got my comments out of the way, thank you so, so much for dropping in to let me know your thoughts! Your words were (and are) so kind; and the knowledge that you spread my work to others, and that they might enjoy it, too, is... it's wonderful. And if you have to buffer my blog ahead of time however you need, go ahead. As long as others know what they're getting into, I suppose. XDDDD It really does mean the world. We all have days where we wonder if we're just shouting into a void; and some days the void is wider and darker than others. But knowing that you and others think my meta is worthwhile... it puts a lot into perspective. And being described how you've described me is.. thank you. So, you know what? I'll wear "loyal and positive fan" with pride, even if you punch on "Impartial"-- it's how you honestly see me; and I'm not at all offended about that. Now that I've thought about it, I'm downright amused.

Lastly, disagreement is always welcome! If you want to share, I'd be curious to know what the particulars are-- it keeps me on my toes by forcing me to double check my own opinions. >:DDDDD

I'll definitely be rereading this ask in future when the void gets bothersome. Thank you, thank you!

[madlittlecriminal]

Xjdkdhckdkx I just found your blog and I’ve already read too many of your fics. I love the way you write for Jonathan Crane. It’s so refreshing to see my favorite character soft and sweet, it’s so cute. Too damn good!

With that being said, if I may, I gotta request this. I’ve noticed the man rarely smiles and doesn’t laugh throughout all three moves and it hurts my heart. Soooo, how about our good ol’ Murphy Johnny boy with a very playful reader that takes any and every opportunity to see him smile and hear him laugh. Doing cute, goofy things, corny pickup lines/jokes, playful tickle fights, and more. It can be in the form of headcanons or a fic. Doesn’t matter to me. Have a good day/night. Love yah!~

Menace ↦ Jonathan Crane × Playful!GN!Reader [headcanons]

you're very sweet :) im glad you love my fics for him and honestly, i know what you mean. it sucks to see him not smile often because aside from his beautiful eyes, Cillian Murphy's smile has me WEAK. but yeah, i like writing my characters soft because im a firm believer that no matter how grumpy they are, they will always have the softest spot for their significant other

Warnings: Jonathan Crane being the biggest softie out here

(im well aware this isn't from the dark knight trilogy, but like...look at his smileeee)

You were a menace in Jonathan's life, but he loved that about you

Especially when you'd jumps care him because...well, he was the Scarecrow, so it was ironic.

You'd also do anything to see him smile and laugh, so he'd constantly try to hold it all back, but you were you and he couldn't hold it back for too long

Especially when you'd tickle him in the middle of cuddle sessions.

He lowkey loved it.

Sometimes you'd ruffle his hair for fun to see him smile.

If he ever had a bad day, that was the perfect pick me up.

Then one time you threw a pillow at him to get his reaction which made him throw it back at you, hiding a smile

But when you threw it back, making his glasses fall off his face, he couldn't help but laugh.

"Why though?!"

Was his only question in between his laughter.

You then would casually slide a few dumb pickup lines his way.

"I would never play hide and seek with because someone like you is impossible to find."

He shook his head with a smile on his face.

"If you were a Transformer, you'd be Optimus Fine."

He shut his eyes and laughed.

He loved and hated your pickup lines because they were funny but stupid.

Since you knew he was Scarecrow, you'd wear his mask sometimes, pretending you were him.

"They scream and they cry!"

He couldn't help but cackle at your words as you slid on the wooden floors of his home with the mask on.

He told you about the incident with Falcone once, so he was surprised you remembered it.

Honestly, he loved when you put the mask on because when he'd put it on, it would smell faintly of your shampoo, instantly making him smile underneath it.

Even when you were sick, you managed to crack a few jokes which would make him chuckle, but he'd tell you to relax so you'd get better

"I hate how handsome you are. You're out here living your best life and I'm here with a cold!"

"You're still beautiful."

"Don't lie to me!"

The glare you'd give him would make you stifle a laugh as he gave you a ginger tea.

He loved how nothing stopped you from making him laugh or smile.

You once made a joke about how Batman could have "throw hands" with you if he caught your boyfriend again.

He couldn't deny how funny he thought it was.

I mean, sure, it would never happen especially with the skills Batman had.

There was a time where you wanted him to smile so bad that you squished his cheeks together, telling him he had to lighten up.

He took your hands off of his face and laughed.

"You're unbelievable!"

"You love it though!"

It was true.

You were his light, and he wasn't letting you go.

[disabled-dean]

Oh my goodness your story is killing me. Thanking you on every platform. ❤️🙏🏻🕯️. It's so beautiful! This latest chapter!! 🥹

As a long time Mary devotee who loves her just the way she is on the show, I cannot believe you have totally sold me your vision of young Mary. You're right! It would have been nuts. Like, I see why they did what they did with Sam Smith, and I love her, but...I am picking up what you're putting down, too.

It's so cool to see from another angle so clearly.

Btw, my SPN blog is @wellofdean . Pretty sure this message is coming from my main, extremely ancient main blog.

Hi bestie!! Thank you so much <3 It's been very special to hear everyone's feedback on the story. I truly appreciate it.

I am also a Sam Smith fan! Honestly, when I started out wanting to re-cut some of the iconic Mary scenes, I tried to find stills of Sam Smith at 29(ish), but those roles for her were either pre or early days internet, or very dated.

Eventually I looked up Amy Gumenick (young Mary actress) on a whim and found out that if they had brought her back in later seasons, she would have been right around the actual age that Mary is supposed to be.

It's tricky because I also think they fully could have brought in Sam Smith and just written her character better! But she so obviously is not written as a 29 year old, apart from a couple throw away lines about the age differences.

And it's a ridiculous ask to expect anyone to work against such deeply entrenched social bias (misogyny, ageism) if the fucking script is just. Empty.

Mary's storyline is honestly so insane and very complex and it kills me that people hold her to such a weird standard of like........ perfect yet judgmental motherhood. I think it pulls back an ugly layer of how we view women (and mothers) in their 50's and what we expect or demand from them.

And I think it's just bad writing! Like I've said, Dean's internal life is also so much richer to me if the enormity of his feelings are undercut by how impossible they are.

Truly I could go on about this for a million years.

Really love hearing how it resonates with other people! I think it's easy to get stuck on the opinions in the fandom that feel so loud and harshly critical, and it's a joy to remember that many people are interested in loudly celebrating stuff that feels good and positive too!

So glad you are liking the story, thank you for the ask <3

[deeppink-man]

The story of my childhood fondness for Silent Hill

※ Because English is not my native language, sentences can be awkward. Mostly aided by translators.

When I was about 12~13 years old (14 years old in Korea), I was attending an art academy, and one day, my teacher saying today is a special day and played a horror movie with snacks.

The horror movie was Silent Hill, and I was very impressed with it because I loved horror movies and horror games.

Now that I think about it, it wasn't a movie for children, but I was really into it at the time anyway, and I came to love it so much that I asked my teacher what the title of the movie was and wrote it down.

I searched about the movie and found out that it was made based on the game.

The first thing that caught my eye was the overwhelming design of Pyramid Head.

I drew pyramid heads using basic paint tools that existed one by one on my computer at the time, and I became a Silent Hill fan by posting them on my blog.

I started studying about every series and got hooked on the story of the game, looking up the story of the series one by one.

I was a student and young. So I couldn't know the money to buy the original game, nor the route to get it, so playing the game myself was close to impossible, but nevertheless I wanted to know all the information from every series.

The first thing I started liking was Silent Hill's monster design, but more and more I started to love the main characters as well.

(Unusually, my favorite monster was the Butcher who came out of Silent Hill Origin, not Pyramid Head. (IDK Why))

Anyway, I got to like all the main characters in Silent Hill, and I enjoyed drawing them. But as a student, it was difficult for me to draw them perfectly, which is why I practice drawing them in a cute way.

It's a little embarrassing, but it's a painting from my student days.

Back then, I couldn't speak English much better than now, but I still drew cartoons in English and drew a lot of fan art.

If you look at my childhood drawing notes, most of the hard-working paintings were Silent Hill fan art. (And I don't know why, but I used to draw both versions of Harry.(SH1 and SH SM) I accepted two versions of Harry as different personalities.)

It's been a long time, and I'm old enough to interpret and judge Silent Hill objectively. And my drawing skills have improved that much. Since I couldn't play the game myself and tended to rely on the fan art of the fandom and the interpretation of the fans, there was a different interpretation from the original.

Silent Hill is a great memory for me. I even draw cartoons about Silent Hill in my notes, and I also had a dedicated painting style that I practiced to draw Silent Hill fan art. This game means this to me.

So, this fan art means a lot to me. It's because these fan art are things that I draw while looking back on my old memories in a long time ago. It may sound strange, but I grew up with Silent Hill. Remembering them, imagining their stories, drawing them is a pleasure for me.

The conclusion of the story is, I started drawing them again after a long time, and it reminded me of old memories. Recently, I rarely drew fan art because I had to work on a webtoon project. However, it sounds pleasant to me that after working for a long time, I return to my hobby and that someone else likes it. Thank you!

I'm glad there are still so many Silent Hill fans. I still love this game, and I'm waiting for a new reboot. I hope reboot back a good way.

[crazylittlejester]

First time sending an Anon ask but kinda wanted to share some pretty dark BotW Warriors angst my sibling and I came up with without explicitly tying it to my regular blog. Btw it’s been a while since we came up with this AU and haven’t touched it since so bear with me as I try to remember it. It was inspired by a few art pieces and another fic I read that I forgot the name of.

So the whole thing was inspired by the Hero’s Shade. The concept goes that after each Link in the Chain dies they remain as ghosts in the world, waiting for the rest of the chain and being like guardian spirits of Hyrule. How the ghosts are here isn’t really important, just that they are. They spend time between times mostly just sleeping. When timelines split they themselves don’t, they’re just stuck in one time stream or another until the timelines remerge. The ghosts can sort of impact the living but can’t do many major things

Eventually 8/9(?) of the Chain are reunited in death. Chain as family and they all prepare to wait for Wild. They sleep so long but eventually Wild draws the sword and they all become aware of him. The ghosts trail after their ninth and watch over him from beyond the grave (gathering blackmail as they go) and also mentally prepare themselves for the eventual Calamity.

On the day of Zelda’s 17th birthday, the Links are a bit scattered. Most of them were with Wild, but respectfully didn’t follow him up Mt Lanayru. Legend and Hyrule were at the Great Plateau, Legend already asleep by the recovery bed in the Shrine of Resurrection (not wanting to see Wild die) and Hyrule wandering the structure.

Wars was at The Sanctum of Hyrule Castle.

Malice is a terrible thing that scars and burns even Spirit Dragons of great Wisdom.

Those who died because of Calamity Ganon and his Malice didn’t get to pass on peacefully, the Malice trapping them in their death throes and forcing them to relive their final moments for as long as the malice remained. These Ghosts were all over Castle Town and all throughout the castle itself, completely oblivious to the world around them and trapped in their pain and memories. These ghosts are called Damned Souls

For Wars It’s arguable much worse.

The Chain all rendezvous at the Shrine of Ressurection as agreed upon, wanting to sleep by Wild together so they could know when he woke up and accompany him from the start. After about a week of waiting with no sign of War’s, Time goes to investigate. He’s the first one to encounter a Damned Soul.

It takes a good week of back and forth from Time before he can stand the screams to make it through the castle all the way to the walkway to Sanctum.

At the edge of the small cliff, he sees Wars.

The Captain’s body is scarred with Malice, writhing across him in lazy patterns. He’s looking out over the Castle and Hyrule Field but doesn’t seem to be noticing anything. Time calls out to him. He doesn’t respond.

Time gets close enough to wave a hand across War’s face. While his eyes seem sharp and aware, they don’t track Time’s hand. He doesn’t respond.

Time retreats back to the Shrine with news of War’s fate. The entire chain refuse to back down until they’ve at least seen him. When they arrive at Sanctum once more, everyone tries to get a response from the captain, to no avail, until Legend yanks on the man’s arm to try and force him to turn around. With most Damned Souls’ it’s impossible to move them from their trapped position.

With War’s he’s forcibly twisted around and almost overbalances, yelping with eyes wide in shock as he tries to get his bearings with the sudden movement.

The relief is immense. Until it’s not when War’s reaches for his sword and draws it, eyes darting around without actually locking on anything as he demands whatever touched him step back.

Time taps in Morse code on War’s wrist “It’s us War’s.” The Captain is very clearly distressed about this, as is everyone else.

War’s is trapped in Hyrule Castle (they try to leave with him but an unseen force prevents him from leaving castle grounds). He can’t see, hear, smell or taste anything in the world (except Malice, he can smell and taste that). He can only feel things. He’s aware of his surroundings as much as he can be, and is aware of the passing of time (the concept not the person). When he tries to sleep, to wait for Wild to clear the Malice by defeating the Calamity, he quickly finds out that’s not in the cards for him due to his ambient pain from the Malice.

He takes to patrolling the Castle instead, after the Chain help him get an idea of the layout. For the duration of the month, he has a set circuit around the castle that he patrols, killing every monster in his path along the way. He clears the entire castle just in time for the blood moon. After the blood moon he repeats the route, killing every monster once more in an endless cycle.

Time teaches the Chain Morse Code (Which he learnt in the War of Era’s because War of Eras Trio is life) so they can talk to Wars. Time also spends the day of the Blood Moon with War’s, walking his patrol with him and keeping a hand on him just so he knows he’s there. No one sleeps through the century, instead trying to make it more bearable for their Damned Brother.

If it wasn’t for the fact that Twilight was waiting for Wild at the Shrine, they probably wouldn’t have known their ninth had woken up.

With Wild awake, between him, general keeping Hyrule monster repopulation down, personal space there’s not as much time for watching over War’s. It’s during one of these pockets where no one is with Wild or War’s that Wild makes his first foray into the castle to grab the memory, seeing The Captain for the first time.

Wild can see Ghosts, but only after the Shrine if Resurrection, and only really present ghosts so he was spared the horror show of Castle Town.

Wild doesn’t confess about his brief encounter with The Captain to anyone, not even Wolfie, but due to local legends (that it’s best to explore the castle just before a Blood Moon) understands that the ghost he saw is probably responsible. He takes advantage, but only recognises the true impact after meeting the (Alive) Chain.

Once Calamity Ganon is defeated, the Damned Souls are free to pass on to the afterlife, and War’s can see and hear for the first time in a century. Tearful reunions all around.

Afterwards, War’s still can’t bear to sleep because it reminds him too much of his Damned state. Instead he maintains his patrol around the castle, it being muscle memory at this point. Unless he wakes up by himself, the only way to wake him up is to touch him, as it’s a bit of a trancelike state and he isn’t processing verbal or visual cues.

There could probably be another angsty thing about Wild coming back from journeying with the chain and searching for War’s ghost. Or the Chain meeting said ghost, but this is already giant.

So yeah, chew on that for a while I guess. I’m not usually an Angst writer nowadays but I just thought to share one of my original War’s ideas. Feel free to do whatever you want with the idea, and who knows, maybe I’ll write for it on my main account someday.

TAKE MY FUCKING MONEY OH MY GOD, anon this is INSANE and I am EATING IT UP.

if you write this i am on my hands and knees begging you to tag me, this sounds absolutely fucking devastating /pos ‼️

[thefrogdalorian]

Hello! 

You may (or may not... I don't like to presume) have noticed my little break from posting. I just wanted to share something in case anyone was worried about me and assure you there is no need to be :) 

There isn't really one reason for why I've been on hiatus, but I guess a collection of things. 

I was really poorly with covid but thankfully I'm feeling a lot better now! But being so sick and stuck in I guess made me reevaluate certain things. 

Since recovering I got to see a lot of people I really adore with my whole heart, as well as being lucky enough to experience so many things I love with them.

And it made me realise what truly makes me happy in life. I suppose it really put things into perspective for me. I'm thinking more and more that tumblr (and being online generally) is something which unfortunately does not spark joy any longer. 

To be honest, (as I'm sure many people who were given far too much unsupervised access to the internet at a young age also do), I have a complicated relationship with social media. It doesn't make me feel good most of the time. I don't know how to handle some of the things I read and some of the things people have said to me. And just like I do irl, if the vibes feel off, I usually retreat into my shell to regroup. 

While I have made so many friends over the years of being chronically online and spoken to plenty of great people, I can feel myself getting drained again. And I really haven't missed it during the time I've been away.

I've filled my time with a lot of reading (I read Pride and Prejudice THREE times... doing amazingly), some writing and lots of long walks in nature. It's been really good for me!

As a result, right now, I just don't feel like continuing to post on this blog.

This decision wasn't caused by anyone or anything in particular. But when I've made my mind up about something, it's pretty impossible to change it. I've been mulling it over for a few days and my heart is telling me to go.

Anyway, I'm going to continue working on my WIPs and most likely continue posting them to AO3. It's by far the least social media-ish platform out there, and I really like posting on it. 

I need to take a step back to remember why I started writing, which was really as a way to get emotions out and to scream into the void a little. I don't enjoy sharing my work on tumblr, I kind of felt like I had to rather than genuinely wanting to. 

Truthfully, I just want to create and consume others' work in peace. I don't want to feel like I need to market my writing or whatever or compare myself to others. As much as I try not to, I think it's only human nature. 

So, I guess I'm really making this post to say I'll be going on a hiatus from tumblr. But I don't intend to stop writing or posting to AO3 and I hope to see you over there! 

I have no idea how long I'll be away for. Who knows... when winter comes around and my seasonal depression returns, or perhaps there is a major Mando update, maybe I'll return! 

For now, all there's left to say is how much of a pleasure it was posting about Mando and talking with you lot all these months. 

If anyone (mutual or otherwise) would like to keep in touch, feel free to message me for my discord! I'd be happy to continue chatting to you on there.

For me, in the headspace I'm currently in, one on one conversation is far less intimidating than being perceived by lots of people lol. 

I'll likely drop in at some point soon-ish and check for any of those messages, but until then, it's not a goodbye, but a see you later! 

Please care of yourselves and be kind to others :) 

Love,

Spud 🐸🩷