#like at this point the first time I had covid I had trouble breathing constantly and I was so dizzy and had such bad vertigo that i could
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I got covid for the second time probably on sunday though it wasnât confirmed until monday, but since then certain things have tasted differently, though I'm hoping it's just the head-cold symptoms that are messing with my sinuses that's doing it, and that it will go back to normal after the cold symptoms pass. But so far it's only very few things that taste different and I'm so glad I haven't completely lost my sense of taste or anything x.x
#also I'm not even that snotty at all like I can still breathe through my nose most of the time (even though I do also sometimes struggle to#catch my breath for some reason even though I'm also not coughing that much really) but pretty much IMMEDIATELY when I got covid my voice#has gotten SUPER nasally as if I was fully congested which is so weird to me because I'M NOT?? Covid what are you doing to my body this time#i will say while i do have cold like symptoms including a sporadic mild fever so far this bout of covid is much better than last time#like at this point the first time I had covid I had trouble breathing constantly and I was so dizzy and had such bad vertigo that i could#barely walk or be upright and the room was spinning even when i was lying down (which was almost always)#it's much milder this time i think#so far at least đ#hopefully this time i wont immediately get hit with bronchitis after it passes again#anyway this sucks wash your hands folks and wear a mask if you're sick and have to leave the house#this isnt fun#covid#my post#corona virus
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Past Mistakes
Y/N and Dom broke up 8 months ago, but now heâs back on her doorstep with flowers in his hand
Dom x Reader
Warnings: Cursing
A/N: I might make a (smutty) part 2 to this if any of you want it... Also letâs just say this took place in 2020 because I needed a non-Covid world for plot points :)
Word Count: 1860
The first two months after Dom left were probably the hardest of your life. You barely ate, you barely slept, and other than going to classes you barely ever left your house. You threw yourself into your classwork, studying for hours on end and working constantly. Anything not to think about him.
The next few months, you got better. You started to move on, accepting that he was no longer a part of your life, at least not like he was. You started to go out with your friends more, started taking better care of yourself.Â
After 5 months, he reached out to you, in a text.Â
I know I have no right to ask you this, and you have no obligation to respond, but youâve always been my number one supporter. Iâm having a bit of trouble at the moment and could really use a friend. I was hoping we could get that back? Just friends.
It was... disappointing. Even though you swore up and down you were moving on, you couldnât shake how upset you were. Youâd secretly always hoped the next time he reached out to you would be him asking for forgiveness, to be taken back.Â
But you supposed friends couldnât hurt.Â
Just friends
You responded. And everything seemed to be normal.Â
Apparently, âjust friendsâ meant random texts and snapchats from Dom about the places he would go when he was on tour, his random midnight thoughts about the universe and dinosaurs, and comforting him when his insecurities overwhelmed him. He, of course, returned the favor, though you were more than hesitant to break down any walls for him.Â
Part of you was glad heâd broken things off before going on tour. You would be stuck in your small town while he was in a different city every night. Your newfound friendship was hard enough as it is given the time differences and the fact that you could only see him through a phone screen. You honestly couldnât imagine pining for him while you stayed at home, even though you kind of did that for the first few months anyways.
So that was how life had been for the last 8 months. Once youâd gotten your shit together, you and Dom had a steady friendship over facetime for 6 months. You were still in school, Dom was still touring and making music. You were both as happy as you could be in that moment.
Or at least you were.Â
It had only taken Dom three days to realize how badly heâd fucked up. Well, he knew before heâd even broken up with you that it would hurt. But sitting at the airport, wanting nothing more than to text you, he realized how bad this tour would be without you waiting for him at home.Â
But he couldnât put you through that heartache, it would be selfish of him. He thought if heâd let you go, you wouldnât have to be upset when he couldnât be with you for 8 months. But after 2 months of hell, Adam finally convinced him he needed to reach out to you. Even just as friends.Â
But truthfully, after 6 months of that, he didnât know how much longer he could stay friends. He missed holding you while watching movies, missed you bringing him tea when he was writing, missed showing up at your flat at 3 in the morning just to dance around your house. He missed your lips, your skin, your eyes. The way you reached for him first thing after youâd woken up, how you would drag him out of bed to go for a late night adventure, how your eyes would shine when he surprised you with a cute gift or date.Â
And you couldnât say you didnât miss him too. Youâd tried going out with the people your friends set you up with, but no one compared to Dom. No one understood you like him. As silly as it sounded when youâd say it to yourself, you were pretty sure you were made for each other. Youâd never find anyone to compare to him. And maybe thatâs why âjust friendsâ stung so much.
You were sat on your sofa, laptop in front of you, working on an assignment to keep your mind off the fact that it was Friday night and all of your friends were out on dates and you were on your sofa, doing schoolwork.Â
Your plan was working surprisingly well, until you finished said assignment. Then you were just left to sit and wallow in your own self pity, wishing anyone were there to cuddle and kiss. Well, maybe not anyone.Â
Eventually, you decided a movie would be a good distraction from your thoughts, so you pulled up Netflix on your TV, scrolling through the movie selection. As you landed on Princess and the Frog, there was a knock on your door.Â
You raised your eyebrow slightly, curious as to who might be at your door this late. Nevertheless you trudged over to the door in your oversized sweatpants and ripped up Guns nâ Roses shirt.Â
You opened the door to reveal a bouquet of pink and black roses in the hands of none other than your ex-boyfriend-turned-friend, Dominic Harrison.Â
When he saw you in person for the first time in 8 months, he could only stare, taking in all of your beauty. Every feature was so familiar to him, yet so changed. And every second he spent on your doorstep, taking you in, he fell even more back in love with you.Â
You didnât know what to think. You would have never in a million years expected him to show up at your door with flowers. And pink and black flowers at that. Your mutual favorite colors.Â
Finally, he gained the courage to speak, âHey, Y/N.â He was trying his hardest not to stutter as he extended his arm with the flowers, handing them to you.Â
You took the flowers, a small smile making its way on your face. âUm, hey Dom. Whatâs up?â You were finding it hard to look at his face, worried that if you did you wouldnât be able to stop yourself from kissing him.Â
âI was hoping we could talk?â You nodded, moving out of the doorway to let him walk into your small living room.Â
Your eyes followed his back, taking in every detail of him as you could. You couldnât help but think about how natural he looked in your flat, how at home he was.Â
You snapped out of your thoughts as he turned to face you. You closed the door and followed him into the room. âItâs good to see you again. Like, in real life.â You told the truth, seeing him in your flat was like a breath of fresh air after the fog of the last 8 months.Â
âCan I be honest with you?â He asked, taking you aback. Your mind started running through every possible thing he might want to say to you.Â
âYou can always be honest with me.â You told him, trying to maintain a calm facade, though underneath you were freaking out.Â
What if he wants to tell me that being friends was a mistake? What if he thinks our relationship was a mistake? Maybe he is only still friends with me because he feels bad for me.
âOk, thereâs no way to say this any other way so Iâm just gonna go for it.â He took a deep breath, âIâm still in love with you.â
He paused, gauging your reaction. You felt as if every cell in your body froze. You hadnât realized just how much youâd wanted him to say those words.Â
âI never really stopped, if Iâm honest. I havenât stopped thinkinâ about you since I left.âÂ
You seemed to come back to your senses, a blush reaching your face as you glanced down to your feet and back up to meet his eyes. âI- umâ You started.
âI know you probably donât feel the same thing and I donât blame you I just couldnât keep living without telling you that.â Dom interrupted, speaking faster out of nervousness. He had begun to pace around the living room, something you had seen many times before.
âDom, I-â
âGod I was so stupid to let you go. I thought it would help me miss you less while I was away but Iâve just missed you more.â He ran a hand through his hair, and you couldnât help the smile on your face.Â
âDominic, can I talk please?â You chuckled as he turned to face you, stopping in his tracks. The look on his face was so soft and scared. You realized how much he still cared for you and how scared he was to lose you.
âDom, I never stopped loving you either, dork.â You walked over to him, placing the flowers on your coffee table and grabbing his hands.Â
His eyes went wide at your touch and he looked down at his feet, occasionally glancing up to your interlocked hands. âI, um, I thought you would hate me...â
âI donât think I could ever hate you,â you whispered, âI was hurt at first, like really. I was a mess.â You chuckled, remembering the many nights spent crying in your bed. âBut I never hated you. And when you texted me I just- I dunno. It hurt that all you wanted was friends but I couldnât live without you in my life. I know it sounds cheesy and shit but like, I never stopped wanting you to come back to me.â
At some point in your spiel, Dom looked up at you, a smile growing on his face. Your eyes finally met and it was like something clicked. Like all the feelings that you had been repressing from the last 8 months were finally surfacing.Â
âCan I kiss you?â He whispered, his gaze flickering between your eyes and your lips. Instead of responding, you lifted yourself onto your toes and connected your lips to his. His hands moved to grab your waist, leaning down into the kiss. Your hands travelled to his chest, one hand resting on his shoulder and the other continuing up to his neck.Â
Your lips melded with his in the most natural way, almost like youâd never taken a break from each other.Â
Once you pulled away you nuzzled your face into his chest, taking in the familiar smell of Dom. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head as you moved your hands to wrap around his middle. âI missed you.â You mumble into his shirt before looking up to him again. âDonât leave me again.â You whispered, âplease?âÂ
He leaned down, rubbing your nose with his. âI wonât, I promise.â He pressed a kiss to your lips as you smiled against him.Â
âCan we watch Princess and the Frog now?â He asked with a chuckle. âI saw it on when I came in and its been on my mind since.âÂ
You giggled, nodding as you pulled him down onto your couch, cuddling up to him and pressing play.Â
#yungblud#dominic harrison#dom harrison#yungblud imagine#yungblud fluff#yungblud x reader#dominic harrison imagine#dominic harrison x reader
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Hey, itâs me again. So, Iâm currently at the ER due to COVID symptoms and chest pain when I take deep breaths or cough. Bonus: I have no sense of taste, am recovering from a cold, and itâs a Code Red. I feel like Iâm being a bit annoying and demanding for asking for another thing with Billy and Stu. However, it is a soft request. Them taking care of there Ace!s/o when sheâs not well, even when she gets growly and almost bites one of them. If itâs not too much, sorry if I seem annoying and needy right now. *silently longing for my bed, cuddles, and out of the ER*
Hey! Sorry this took so long to get to and I hope you are doing and feeling better! Sorry this is just a short little drabble but I hope you like it all the same! I do love writing for this Ace S/O you always ask for with the boys. Letâs get into it, hmm?
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Rating. SFW. Length. 469 Words. Billy Loomis and Stu Macher X AFAB! Ace! Reader. Poly!Ghostface Warnings. None.
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Sickly Sweet.
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You had trouble re-calling the last time you felt this fucking shitty. You couldnât even remember the last time you ended up missing class because you felt so ill, you stayed in bed and didnât really do much of anything else. The boys didnât think much of the fact you didnât respond to their first text that morning, they assumed you were just busy in your first lecture, until they got to a class you were all supposed to share and you didnât show up.Â
So after a few more texts with no response they came by your place to check up on you and when you answered the door wrapped in a robe and with a blanket strewn over your shoulders, tissues clenched in one fist as you leaned against the door with the other, the reason you had been silent over text and absent in class was obvious. So the rest of their respective classes were ditched and they instead decided to take care of you.Â
What else were they supposed to do?
It was like a reminder of your first meeting with them where they saved you from those would-be attackers. You almost always felt like you were playing catch up, they had started off taking such good care of you so you tried to give back constantly but here you were now, laid up in bed and they were there taking care of you again.Â
It was very sweet at first.
But both of them could have a bad habit of being a little too much at the best of times, now with you sick and fever stricken your fuse for tolerating them was significantly shorter. You reached a point of just wanting to be alone so maybe you could have handled it better but you werenât exactly thinking clearly.Â
âFuckinâ Chirst man.âÂ
Stu exclaimed as he dropped the soup bowl in the sink with a clatter and that made Billy look up from the homework he had brought along.Â
âYa good there?â
âNo! She almost fucking bit me dude!â
A laugh and when Stu whipped around to glare at his boyfriend he saw him with his head in his hand,
âIt isnât funny.â
âItâs a little funny, and also I do not believe you. She is many things, a biter she is not.â
Stu scoffed and said,
âOh yeah? Why donât go in there, see for yourself.â
âPffft okay.â
And he watched as Billy dropped his pencil and pushed his chair out and got up and headed off to the bedroom where you were. Stu took to the task and went back to dealing with the dishes, still listening and when he heard Billy curse from the other room and he couldnât help the grin that broke out as he said softly,
âTold you.â
#Billy Loomis#Stu Macher#poly!ghostface#BHF asks#BHF writing#asexualqueenofspace#SHE'S ALIVE EVERYBODY
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Heyo! Not to be too nosy here but you mentioned you're in bad health and recovering, and I just wondered what happened? Also how would it impact your career since, from how you've made it all seem thus far, it's a highly active and demanding job?
Hope you take care and get well! You appear quite strong and not like you'd take whatever has happened just lying down, so here's to you!! đđ
No sweat and no worries here, I dont find this particularly invasive. If anything, I'm flattered you care to ask after me lol. đ
A few weeks back I met a friend I hadn't seen in some time for lunch. This was against my better sense of caution that I've held firmly to throughout the pandemic, but I would feel regretful and dismissive if I didnt agree to see her while I had the chance. I should've listened my gut and stayed safely at work because this "friend" failed to mention she had tested positive (she knew already by the time of our lunch date, she has since admitted) and had figured since she had no symptoms there was no harm in being in public.
FF only a few days later and I was feeling a little unwell but had put it off as an effect of the winter blast that had just hit where I live. I'd spent half a day out in the cold and snow for a photoshoot only the day before and thought it was probably due to that since I'm susceptible to weather influenced head colds and bronchitis. Fortunately, my job mandates a rigid COVID-19 screening twice a week due to our high profile clientele and as an assurance of health and safety for us all. Mine read back with a positive and with the way I had been feeling I was immediately sent home and the company closed its doors while the building was sterilized and our clients notified.
Thankfully I managed not to infect anyone I work with nor my son. Regrettably, I did infect my best friend since we're horrifically incapable of maintaining personal space and have weak shit immune systems. We both agree it is a wonder we made it this far into plague times without it catching us.
So I went and got looked over and sent on my way with my prescription of potent anti-virals and steroids. I was well prepared to abide the quarantine guidelines and had sent my son to my mother's home for the duration so that he was out of the danger zone. It was fine, I was kinda cool and keen on getting a few days to myself to rest up and all that jazz. But it wasn't meant to last and I found trouble in the form of being unable to remain conscious much at all and would pass out constantly. After a few times of this I gave my brother (he's a doctor and vaccinated) a ring and told him that my fatigue was no joke dude and needed him to come give me a better once over than the one I'd gotten before bc I was sure I was not meant to feel this badly. He found me unconscious in the shower that night, my head battered from crashing to the basin.
After ensuring I wasn't concussed and jokes on what a hard head I have to take such a beating and show no signs of registering it beyond bruising (a joke between us due to him having once accidentally put a golf club into my forehead and fracturing my skull but that's a different story) he told me to call him regularly so that he can review how I feel and the progression of my symptoms and left. By the morning I had already had two more instances of sudden fatigue and collapsing in on myself. I had been posting on my main blog here about how I was doing and due to this I caught the concern of @peekbackstage and upon their suggestion to have my O2 levels tested it was revealed that I was having issues with my blood not circulating oxygen as it should and nearing hypoxia.
Here's the rub. I have a heart condition that is already very dangerous and bleak which limits my heart's capability of delivering blood through my body as it should. Cardiomyopathy or, as it seems better known, congestive heart failure. I've had surgery for it and it has been a while since it caused me any real issues as long as I stick to my routine of care and manage my health, but when COVID-19 infiltrated my body it immediately snagged upon this weak heart of mine and sank its fangs in.
Within a day of being admitted to the hospital I had a grand mal seizure due to the constant fluctuations of oxygen in my blood and the way my body was working double time to supplement for it. And only 2 days after that and when my nervous system had finally quieted down, I went into full cardiac arrest with a heart attack at my young age.
My next weeks were spent connected to machines doing more for me than my own body could. I developed pneumonia in my lungs, acute though it was it was still another complication that my wrecked body had to overcome as it made my already ragged breathing even worse. I was steadily shedding muscle tone and definition due to a lack of mobility and the fact that my body felt like a deadweight I could hardly take command of, and generally very weakened. My heart, the horrible thing, was inflamed and trying too hard by beating too fast, too hard.
FF some more and I was doing fairly well and treatments were showing some improvement. My heart was still being an ugly and gnarled beast in my chest and throwing weird spikes on the monitor that raised alarms. The pneumonia was retreating and I had no further seizures. It was the dawning light of my first signs that I was recovering!
It took a while more and so fucking many tests day in and day out for me get cleared for release. I tested negative for COVID-19 and was ashamed that I actually forgot that that was why I was even in the hospital to begin with, given all that happened. I have to undergo physical therapy and counseling; PT for heart happy exercises as well as to manage to my depleted muscles, counseling bc I was rocked mentally from all the almost dying and the depressive haze of being holed up in the hospital and surrounded by people who, like me, came in with COVID-19 but unlike me did not come out of it.
I'm home now. I had to have a pacemaker implanted and must stay vigilant for any showing that my heart is not performing as it should. I still have some severe inflammation and chest restriction in my airways as well as my blood vessels but nothing too daunting. I also have a full battalion of prescriptions, most for my heart, and a nebulizer to ease any breathing issues. The worst is honestly that I still am very weak and have severely limited reserves of energy.
My job is required to make me take 12 weeks of leave for rest and recuperation. This is very upsetting since I had been requested by name to be an assistant stylist at the Grammys this year which is truly a dream (especially with BTS in the mix đ©đ©) and also bc I'm just a workaholic by nature and love my job. When I return I am expected to learn how to properly delegate tasks that do not directly require me to handle and slow down the pacing of my projects. My boss terminated a contract with a client that was nearing the scheduled end of our agreement and was also incredibly problematic to help lighten my workload. It's imperative that I reign in my stress levels or my heart will not last until the next surgery I'll need, so I'm gritting my teeth and letting my job be picked apart to reduce my responsibilities.
My post awaits my return but I will not be returning to full activity for a while after, which means no rifling through the racks for hours alongside the archivists in search of the perfect piece. I'll be welcome to meet with my clients and oversee the glam teams, will still be the command tower for final verdicts on which styles to use. But I will not be running around showrooms nor personally handling matters any competent trainee could be tasked with like I've always done. I will no longer be able to fly out anywhere for destination shoots or fashion shows.
If, after my next surgery, things are better and my heart stable to the point that they are hopeful of things will be reevaluated. While it is difficult beyond measure for me to relinquish the reigns of my career and be restricted in what I can do now, I am very thankful to be alive and upright when that wasn't a certainty just a little while ago. This is such a humbling experience to have survived when my stats kept dropping every day. I've been told to expect that I will never make a full 100% recovery and to expect to stall out around the 70%-90% range, with 70% being the most realistic.
My best friend (the one I gave the plague to) will be moving in with me so that I am never on my own if things go tits up and to assist in wrangling a toddler since I am currently without the energy to do so as my child is, sincerely, a crazy gremlin spawn with limitless battery life. Slowly, my life will regain some normalcy đ
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Yashahime Translation: Animage Plus Editorial Department Interview
Please do not repost this translation without my consent! This includes screenshots of any type and amount. If you wish to share this translation, simply link to this post.
For more information regarding the use of my translations, click here.
Jaken is the Mother Theory!? We ask Matsumoto Sara, Komatsu Mikako, and Tadokoro Azusa About âHanyĆ no Yashahimeâ
The TV anime currently broadcasting, âHanyĆ no Yashahimeâ. Continuing the world of âInuyashaâ in the same style, the new development in the Inuyasha world depicts the struggles of SesshĆmaruâs twin daughters, Towa and Setsuna, and Inuyasha and Kagomeâs daughter, Moroha, as they travel all over the modern and feudal eras. Now, right after the broadcast of episode 14, we had the voices of Towa: Matsumoto Sara-san, Setsuna: Komatsu Mikako-san, and Moroha: Tadokoro Azusa-san, talk about the appeal and the behind-the-scenes of the work.
â What did you think when you first found out that a new story about Inuyasha and SesshĆmaruâs daughters was being created this time?
Matsumoto: When I found out it was being created, 1. the shock was huge⊠The fact that the characters I watched when I was little âhad childrenâ was a shock and I started thinking about all sort of things like how were they born? (laughs).
Tadokoro: I was really surprised as well! I knew that âInuyashaâ had wrapped up nicely, so to think that there would be a new story to continue that. I could see Inuyasha and Kagome having a child but I thought âWho would SesshĆmaru have a child with?â Before I prepared for the audition, I was looking at the character designs like I was lapping it up, wondering whose child it was (laughs).
Komatsu: At first when I saw the title of the work, I thought âthereâs now a work with a name like âInuyashaââ but I was surprised that it legitimately inherited the world of Inuyasha (laughs). On top of that, I was astonished that the story was set to be about the children of Inuyasha and the others. However, Mirokuâs (and Sango) children were depicted in the final episode of âInuyasha, The Final Actâ, so it certainly seemed feasible. The feeling of joy and excitement I felt that I could touch the Inuyasha world I enjoyed as a child all over again was big.
â During the COVID crisis, Iâm sure you are unable to record normally by any means so what is the recording site like?
Matsumoto: There are a lot of scenes where the three of us interact with each other, so a lot of the time, the three of us are together during recording. Though weâre in this situation, theyâve come up with a recording order that allows us to record with people we interact with as much as possible.
Tadokoro: Conversely, we donât get to really meet if we donât interact.
Komatsu: Moroha has a lot of individual scenes, so there are times where we donât meet at all on those occasions.
Tadokoro: There are many times where Moroha is with Takechiyo and Jyuubee-san so on those occasions, I donât get to see the two of them (Matsumoto and Komatsu) which is lonelyâŠ
â Seems like a harmonious recording site.
Matsumoto: Yes. The atmosphere in the recording (studio) is great and we do things together like go to the âInuyashaâ Collaboration CafĂ© after weâre done recording. Itâs like weâve joined the Inuyasha family which Iâm grateful for.
â With each of you playing Towa, Setsuna, and Moroha, what sort of characters are they?
Matsumoto: Unlike Moroha and Setsuna, Towa was the only character that grew up in the modern era, so I thought that Moroha and Setsuna, who grew up in the feudal era, would criticize her like âyou're too weakâ or âyouâre too softâ and Towa would deny that like âThatâs not true!â. However, she surprisingly accepts things and I thought she was a very flexible child at her core.
Tadokoro: How to put it? Moroha seems stupid at first glance. Even sound director Nagura Yasushi-san told me âPlease act more stupidâ (laughs). She has an innocent side that acts before thinking, but she has a surprising side to her like how sheâs managed to live on her own under fairly difficult circumstances, exceling in battle, coming up with the best plan among the three, and giving out orders like âYou go thereâ. I think sheâs a character you canât take your eyes off of or rather the more you get know her, the more you like her. Not to mention, her emotions and facial expressions change constantly to the point that itâs hard for me to keep up. Itâs an aspect that you never get tired of watching.
Komatsu: Setsuna is the opposite of Towa. While her calmness and her speaking mannerism makes you think she strongly inherited SesshĆmaruâs blood, there was a time when she grew up in a village, so she understands the human heart which I think makes her differ from SesshĆmaru. In regard to Towa, even though she (Towa) lives a soft way of life opposite to her which she finds annoying, she sways because she acknowledges that she (Towa) has a charm that she doesnât have⊠I think sheâs a girl who clearly displays the realistic swaying of a 14-year-old girlâs heart. Also, she does properly take part in comedic scenes, so she surprisingly gets into the mood. Sheâs the type that can read the mood (laughs). I wonder if thatâs influenced from being raised in a village.
â While acting your respective characters, what aspects were easy and difficult to empathize with?
Matsumoto: To be honest, from the time of the audition, I never found it difficult to play (Towa). Itâs like Towaâs thoughts smoothly came into me, even without thinking too hard on it. I donât really struggle; on the contrary, there are a lot aspects that I empathize with.
Tadokoro: Since the time I received the first documents, I had this big idea that Moroha was the type to move like this. But I didnât think she would feel down and seclude herself so easily just as I do⊠Thatâs why carrying her energy is hard work (laughs). Hence, I make large movements with my body when I act. When Moroha keeps walking with big steps, itâs an image of really using oneâs body, so I move while trying to be really expressive. Itâs like Iâm trying to take a bite into Morohaâs vitality!
Komatsu: Â Setsuna is the opposite of Moroha, so itâs like I talk without moving. But if I just quietly talk, you canât feel the pressure, so I keep in mind putting in a little pressure. A pressured voice thatâs like even though itâs not a loud voice, you lend your ear to it without realizing it which is the type of voice I think SesshĆmaru has, so I stay conscious of that.
â Is it like putting dignity into your voice?
Komatsu: You could say that. In terms of what was difficult, at the first recording, my voice became similar to Towaâs that they pointed out that it would become hard to tell which one is talking.
Matsumoto: Oh yeah! That did happen.
Komatsu: Towa and Setsuna are twins so if weâre talking feasibility, then itâs feasible but as a character you need to be able to differentiate them⊠Hence, I figure out a way to project my voice so that the difference in the environments that they grew up in comes through.
â Not only do they have to be similar, but also different which seems hard⊠What do you think of each otherâs acting?
Matsumoto: The documents I received before the audition was the character design that Takahashi Rumiko-sensei drew and a simple correlation diagram, so it was a mystery as to what sort of people these characters would be once each of them had a voice breathed into them. However, come the start of recording, I was like âI see! I get it, it would be like this!â. During the recording itself, Iâm desperately catching up to the other two so that I donât cause any trouble for them. I receive so much from them each episode.
Tadokoro: When I auditioned, I did the other two besides Moroha but to be honest, I couldnât imagine what Towaâs and Setsunaâs voices would be like. However, when they had me actually record with the two of them, I was like âThis is it! This is all it can be! I saw the answer!â (laughs) Towa is a character that doesnât fit in with either the modern or feudal eras and wavers a lot, so she makes statements that are off which makes her role difficult. With Sara-sanâs sincere and honest acting, I would say it makes me think that Towa has her own beliefs that allows her to say and act the way she does. I like Sara-sanâs honest acting with her personality mixed in.
Matsumoto: No no, not at all! Thank you⊠âŠ
Tadokoro: I understand this because I auditioned for Setsuna as well, but even though Komatsu-san is a woman, I think itâs amazing that she is able to make Narita Kenâs (the role of SesshĆmaru) acting come through. However, I can feel Setsunaâs 14-year-old cuteness, which makes me think that Komatsu-sanâs extensive skill is amazing.
Komatsu: Naah!
Tadokoro: No, that is Komatsu-sanâs skill! Every time, I very much feel that I have to keep up with the two of you. I always go home feeling discouraged.
Komatsu: I agree that Sara-chanâs personality comes through in her acting. Towa has a boyish impression based on her appearance, but she has a friendliness that I think would allow her to survive in any era. Sara-chan herself has that friendliness as well as strong communication skills, flat with everyone, and fun to talk to. Also, the large size of her conversation drawer gave me the impression that she was similar to Towa in that aspect. The acting for Moroha is like without a doubt she inherited the blood of Inuyasha and Kagome! The playful absentmindedness within Koroazu-chan (translatorâs note: Koroazu is Tadokoro Azusaâs nickname) blends in with Moroha which makes Moroha appear cuter. Thatâs why I think even if she gets annoyed at Moroha, Setsuna will still go along with her. That is âKoroazuâs Magicâ!
â We would like to ask regarding the work but did all of you have a scene that left a big impression on you as you were acting?
Matsumoto: Episode 14. Itâs the episode where you learn why Towa and Setsuna got caught in the forest fire. Itâs heartrending, fleeting, beautiful story where you feel a little sympathy for the mastermind who burned the forest⊠The scene where Homura, who burned the forest, took his own life tugged at my heart during recording and left a big impression on me. I was dumbfounded at what happened before eyes and it was an unforgettable episode.
Tadokoro: What made me think this was just like âInuyashaâ was how they thoroughly explain things during times like when theyâre surprised, in a critical situation, attacking with their moves, or doing something.
Matsumoto: Oh yeah! That might be especially true for Moroha.
Tadokoro: You have to leave a surprised emotion while thoroughly explaining things, so itâs difficult. Despite struggling, Iâm doing my best. But being able to do what my senpais in âInuyashaâ did now really fires me up! This time, I rewatched âInuyashaâ, and Miroku was explaining things while shouting so that mustâve been hard...
Komatsu: What I looked forward to was the episode with the night of the new moon since itâs something half-demons go through. Â Also, the episode where Miroku appeared. I was glad to see the parent-child interaction between Miroku and Hisui. Being able to see the good side of Miroku not just secluding himself in the mountains was like falling for him all over again and an unforgettable episode.
â With the mysteries of the story gradually being revealed, itâs about time for the identity of Towa and Setsunaâs mother to be revealed but what did you think when you found out?
All: (clapping) There was a lot of applause.
Tadokoro: We werenât told either, so I was wondering who it was.
Komatsu: We repeatedly talked about it, but among them came the âMama Jaken theoryâ. We thought about a lot of things like how Jaken is certainly a good caretaker and heâll make a good mom but if it was Sesshomaru and Jakenâs child, they would just be regular demons instead of half demons (laughs).
Matsumoto: When I browsed through Twitter, everyone was having fun investigating.
â So you surf (Twitter).
Matsumoto: Iâm especially curious on broadcast days so I end up looking. Like I look through the tags. I check while becoming grateful that everyone is watching like this.
Komatsu: Iâm sure everyone is doing all sorts of investigations, but Towa and Setsunaâs mother will be revealed soon so please look forward to it while waiting!
Matsumoto-san, Komatsu-san, and Tadokoro-san spoke to us in a good, fun tempo just like the three girls in âHanyĆ no Yashahimeâ.  In the next broadcast, the identity of Towa and Setsunaâs mother will finally be revealed⊠âŠ?! With that, you really canât miss âHanyĆ no Yashahimeâ going forward. Episode 15 is scheduled to air on January 16 (Saturday) from 17:30 (5:30pm on the 12-hour clock) on Yomiuri TV and Nippon TV!
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Itâs Labor Day
I have today off and no plans and no plans to make any or get any really. I may go look at something. I went and looked at stuff last weekend and it did my soul a lot of good.Â
Iâve done a great job doing nothing with nobody so far and I donât feel like I should blow that now. The rest of America didnât make it past the first month and just decided to breathe on each other pretty much and get the coronavirus and then people die or whatever.
Looks like the dire predictions all came true but now we are on the other side no one cares unless their Dad died. I seem to know a good amount of people whoâs fathers have died. I guess theres all kinds of people of every description dying but my own experience at this moment is seeing posts from people whoâs Dads have died.
I suppose i could be less strict since I am not immunocompromised and just go out and do stuff like everyone else. Iâm fully aware I am putting these limitations on myself, but truth is that iâd spent the previous year or two scaling back from knowing everyone everywhere all the time and not having any substantive relationships with any of them, because it wasnât satisfying. And because stuff happened. And when stuff happened to me, I never had any backup. No one ever took my side on anything ever.Â
I could go into details but these are beefs I had that are two and three years old now in some cases and even I canât recall all the specifics, just that people let me down when I needed them. People close to me. Or people i thought were close to me. or people I thought might become close to me.Â
Let down by almost everyone more or less. As I said, the specifics are lost and the point has passed on so much of this, and that combined with my work families getting me sick all last Fall, because they dont care if they get me sick or not.... I didnt just shut down my business w coronavirus. I shut down everything.
And it was a relief. and im not sorry for any of it.Â
Before coronavirus....Iâd pretty much stopped going out and stopped going to see bands unless it was my friends bands. I still have some of those. Had some. I dont know whats what now since im not around. Iâm that one girl you see when you go out. So everyone knows me and no one cares about me after they go home.
Iâm not saying this to make you feel sorry for me. I donât feel sorry for me. But thatâs the reality of my life. Or it has been. With the Covid Iâve taken notice of who has checked on me, asked me to do stuff, kept in touch and who hasnât.Â
Itâs not a surprising list.
So I keep to myself because ultimately i think i just want to.Â
Iâm not in any hurry to get infected with a thing that may or may not kill me or the people Iâd spread it to. But iâm also a lot older than most of my friends and I may be ready to hang up my rock and roll lifestyle.
I mean ill always be rock and roll, but Iâm old people now and that might be fine too. I donât know how to act my age. I never did. Iâm convinced its a trap. But iâve only drank 2x since March and I probably didnt need to either time. Iâm spending way less money and im enjoying the challenge of living life without bars and clubs and shows.
Iâm only just scratching the surface of figuring out what other kind of life I could lead.Â
Before Covid I was definitely feeling dissatisfied with my social life, and I wasnt enjoying my work the way I used to and I was starting to think what else I could try next.
Covid-19 lockdown wasnât even close to any of the ideas I was starting to dream up. Working from home and never going anywhere or doing anything with anybody. But its a change and I needed one of those for sure.
Once i got the work-at-home job, I was able to stop living in survival mode and shift to figuring out how to be comfortable here in my house a lot more than I ever meant to be.
I love my house and it always was a comfortable place for just me to be by myself, so its really just adjusting for this new life where i stay home most of every day.Â
Need to get the exercise thing sorted out. Iâm having trouble being motivated to walk around the neighborhood anymore since ive seen it and it bores me now. But Iâll figure out something. Its getting cooler now and I think every season poses its own challenges for outdoor exercise. i may never find one thing that always works for me. I may need to constantly change up what im doing.Â
Which is a bummer because I love Jazzercise. Iâve done it for years and itâs the only exercise iâve ever really stuck with. Itâs still happening and I see the instagrams but no fucking way am i going to stand in a small room breathing hard with a bunch of ladies, some of whom support trump and probably are not wearing masks or socially distancing at all. Its safe to assume no one is really at this point in time regardless of their political opinion. I see my liberal atheist friends posting selfies with their friends at parties all gathered together. No one is really doing social distancing anywhere in America as far as I can tell.Â
I see infractions constantly which I would outline but I donât want to be the mask police. I just accept that no one is really doing this. So Iâm staying away from everyone till theres a vaccine or a cure or a treatment best I can.Â
Which leaves me with outdoor activities.
Never been my thing, and with the summer humidity ive been avoiding all of it. But Itâs labor day now and things are cooling off. Truth is that every year when everyone starts putting on flannels and Im still wearing summer clothes because Iâm finally comfortable, theres a couple of weeks of what i think is nice weather to take advantage of, so Iâm gonna aim to do that.
I donât know what happens after it gets cold but Iâll figure it out then. Ive always loved outdoor ice skating rinks. Maybe Iâll be able to skate.Â
I didnât get to go on my vacation last year to Chicago because one of the families i worked for got me sick. I meant to skate the ribbon. Maybe iâll do that this year.Â
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I HAD COVID-19. THIS WAS MY EXPERIENCE.
Important note: my story is just one story. There are many people experiencing coronavirus, and each one of those narratives is valuable.
And, while each of our stories may provide a window into an individual experience, togetherâas compiled by expertsâthose stories allow for vetted, reliable data.
Please look to the tried-and-tested knowledge from medical professionals as you navigate this health crisis.
And remember: Iâm just a regular person who had an experience and wanted to invite you into the fold.
***
THE BEGINNING
That photo was shot four days before my symptoms began. It was March 10th, and I was on assignment in South Carolina. I had just wrapped a public speaking engagement in NYC. The U.S. was still figuring out how seriously to take the Covid-19 threat, so storefronts, mass transit, and most of the world as we knew it was still open for business.
By March 12th, as I traveled home to the West Coast, Trump had announced a travel ban on flights from Europe, and things were starting to get serious in the States. I made a plan to self-quarantine for 14 days so that any potential germs I might have brought back from NYC didnât get passed on to others.
THE ONSET
On March 14th, I noticed I had a light headache and muscle aches. I attributed them to post-travel fatigue and went on with my day. Within a few days, however, my body aches grew notably worse, I was constantly exhausted, and I was starting to have trouble sleeping.
By the 18th, my body was in full decline, and the pile-on of symptoms got scary fast. I had the symptoms that most of the news stories listâfever, aches, coughâplus a whole bunch more. (A full list of symptoms is in the next section.)
Between March 18-25, I fell into the void that is Covid-19. I ran a 102-degree fever for seven days. I had chills. Shivering. Fever dreams that looped, and looped, and looped again. Body aches severe enough that extra-strength acetaminophen did nothing lessen them.
One day somewhere in the middle of that time frame, a cough came on so strong and fast that I had to avoid talking, sitting up, or even moving. Those actions agitated the coughing to an extreme. My body became fatigued enough that I eventually couldnât stand, walk, or even sit up for longer than a minute or two at a time. I wanted to sleep constantly, but never got past 4-5 hours without waking up in need of more pain or cough medication.
THE SYMPTOMS Â
Hereâs the full list of symptoms I experienced. Theyâre not all pretty, but they were all present.
Fever Cough Body aches Headaches Exhaustion Chills Night sweats Fever dreams Diarrhea Loss of appetite Clammy skin Red ring around eyes Loss of sense of smell Inability to sit up, stand, or walk Sensation that joints werenât connected Sensation that knee caps were going to slide off my legs
(Yes, those last two are strange. Yes, they were part of my experience.)
THE TEST
My symptoms were notable enough that on March 19th, my husband called Urgent Care and asked what they would advise we do. After an interview about my condition and travel history, nursing staff said we should come in that afternoon.
At the staffâs instruction, my husband Todd put on a mask and gloves, and entered the hospital to register me as a patient. I was asked to stay in the car so that I didnât come into contact with more people than necessary. After Todd returned to the car, a nurse called my cell phone and interviewed me about my symptoms and recent travel history. Based on my answers, we were waved through to the drive-through testing tent.
Nurses in gowns, face shields, masks and gloves approached the car and asked me to remove my mask. They took my temperature, listened to my lungs, confirmed my symptoms, and called a doctor to the tent. While the doctor ran through my list of my symptoms, triple-checking what we had described to the nursing staff, he inquired about my travel history. When I listed New York, he paused, turned away from us, and yelled, âWeâre gonna need a Covid test here! This oneâs been to New York.â
First, I was given a conventional flu test, and informed that it would be processed within the next few hours. If it came back positive, the hospital would assume I had the flu. If it came back negative, they would assume it was coronavirus and ship my Covid test out for processing.
The Covid-19 test was⊠uncomfortable. To test a person, medical staff inserts a 6-inch swab deep into the nasal cavity until it reaches the nasopharynx/upper throat, rotating it several times over the course of 10-15 seconds to gather a sufficient sample, and sometimes repeating the procedure with a new swab in the second nasal cavity. Normally fairly stoic, I had to be reminded to breathe during this process, wiping tears away as the doctor dipped my swab into a sealed pouch and passed it to the nurse.
The image below shows the handout I received following my test.
THE RESULTS
Within a few hours of our drive-through experience, we received a call from Urgent Care informing us that my flu test had come back negative. Next, they would be sending out my Covid-19 for processing. We were told that we would have to wait 5-10 days for results. The national average for results turnaround was five days at the time of testing (March 19).
In the meantime, we were instructed to stay home and treat the symptoms ourselves. The only exception would be if I started experiencing extreme shortness of breath (as per the nurses: â[feeling like I had run a marathon while sitting still, or feeling like I was suffocating]â), at which point we were to return to the hospital seeking intensive care. Barring that, we were to continue self-quarantine until both my husband and I were symptom-free for at least 72 hours. (Thankfully, Todd never developed symptoms.)
Over the next two weeks, we had a series of follow-up calls with nursing staff. On March 25th, I was told my test had been sent from Oregon to a North Carolina LabCorp facility, where it was âin process.â At that point, I was informed it would be closer to 12 days before I would receive results due to an inundation of tests needing processing at East Coast facilities.
Over the next couple calls, however, it became clear something strange was happening. On call two, my test was no longer showing âin processâ in the lab records, but it was also not marked âcomplete,â which is the next stage. On call three, the nurse said my test notes now read âfuture,â indicating the swab had not begun processing, even though we were nearly two weeks past my test date.
THE MISSING TEST
On April 1st, 13 days after testing, the test was suddenly, inexplicably, not in the system. It was not listed in North Carolina. It was not listed in Oregon. It was not listed anywhere.
That day, I received a call from the Head of Nursing at Urgent Care. He informed me that I would not be receiving my Covid-19 test results⊠ever. He conferred, â[The staff here feels confident you had Covid-19, based your on symptoms and recent travel history. Thatâs why we gave you a Covid test. Unfortunately, thereâs no way for us to confirm your positive results, because we donât know where your swab went. We can no longer located it in any labâs computer system.]â He continued, â[Unfortunately, this has happened a number of times now, with a number of different patients. Swabs have gone missing, and we donât know why. At this point, I can say with confidence that we will never find those tests.]â
Somehow, between my Covid-19 test on March 19 and the swabâs transit to a LabCorp facility, my test disappeared, along with a number of others. In a nation with an already-limited number of tests, an unknown number of them are now afloat, unprocessed, and uncalculated in the national totals.
THE HEREAFTER
Regardless of official results, I believe I can safely say Iâm on the mend from coronavirus. It has been exactly four weeks since the onset of symptoms, and Iâm feeling mostly human again. While I still need to sleep 10-12 hours a day as my body repairs (my husband says Iâm âsleeping like a college studentâ), Iâm finally able to walk farther than the distance between the living room and bathroom. In fact, I made it beyond the mailbox this week. All things considered, thatâs a victory.
As I take each day as it comes, Iâm thankful to the body I normally take for granted. The partner who supplied me with Gatorade, prepared me miso, and noted my temperature three times a day for two weeks. The community of friends and family who sent love notes, funny gifs, and encouragement as I faced the fire.
As I place my trust in the healing process, Iâm grateful for the opportunity to reflect on lifeâs small pleasures. Who knew it could be so exciting to watch a daffodil bloom? To note a Cooperâs Hawk outside the window? To get a good nightâs rest, play a board game, or walk the whole length of the driveway? Who even remembered, in this wildly busy world, what a gift it is to simply listen to the breeze?
As I look forward, I send gratitude to the people deemed essential workers, whose employment at hospitals, grocery stores, restaurants, and more, requires them to show up at the front lines daily to keep our society fed and functioning.
As I acknowledge the vast unknowing that all that of us face, I encourage everyone (yesâeven YOU!) to stay home if youâre not an essential worker. To get to know not only the inside of whatever building youâre calling home, but also the inside of your mind, your heart, and the wide expanse of space that is Not Knowing. To ask yourself what you feel todayâevery day a new day for askingâand grant permission to yourself to experience whatever natural, beautiful, and challenging feelings this whirlwind may ask of you.
THE AMA (âASK ME ANYTHINGâ)
Do you have questions about my experience? Please let me know in the comments below. Iâll do my best to provide an answer.
Iâve had friends ask what supplies to keep on hand in case they get sick, what mindset I adopted during the healing process, what shows I was watching on Netflix when I was down for the count⊠whatever youâre wondering, let me know.
Thank you, as always, for sharing this journey with me.
You are appreciated,
Rachel
#covid19#covid-19#coronavirus#health#medicine#wellness#virus#pandemic#corona outbreak#outbreak#travel#newyork#nyc#new york
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How Rhode Island Fell to the Coronavirus PROVIDENCE, R.I. â The numbers began ticking up in September. After a quiet summer, doctors at Rhode Island Hospital began seeing one or two patients with Covid-19 on each shift â and soon three. Then four. Cases climbed steadily until early December, when Rhode Island earned the dubious distinction of having more cases and deaths per 100,000 people than any other state in the country. The case rate still puts it among the top five states. Where did this tightly knit state go wrong? Former Gov. Gina Raimondoâs âpausesâ on economic activity were short-lived and partial, leaving open indoor dining, shopping malls and bowling alleys. But the shutdowns were no patchier than those in many other states. Until late summer, she was lauded for reining in the virus. Even now, few residents blame her for the bleak numbers. (Ms. Raimondo was sworn in as the secretary of commerce on Wednesday night.) Experts point instead to myriad other factors, all of which have played out elsewhere in the country but converged into a bigger crisis here. The fall chill sent people indoors, where risk from the virus is highest, and the holidays brought people together. Rhode Island is tiny â you can traverse it in 45 minutes. But crammed into that smallish area are a million people, for a population density second only to that of New Jersey. If everyone in the world is connected by six degrees of separation, Rhode Islanders seem to be connected by maybe two. Central Falls, the epicenter of Rhode Islandâs epidemic, has a density of 16,000 people per square mile, almost twice that of Providence. âJust imagine, 16,000 people per square mile â I mean, thatâs amazing,â said Dr. Pablo Rodriguez, a member of the government committee that guides Covid vaccine distribution in Rhode Island. âIt doesnât take much for the spark to create an outbreak.â Apart from its density, Rhode Island has a high percentage of elderly residents in nursing homes, accounting for the bulk of deaths. Packed into the state are multiple urban areas â Central Falls, Pawtucket, Providence â where language barriers, mistrust and jobs have left immigrant families in multigenerational homes particularly vulnerable. The state is also home to multiple colleges that set off chains of infection in the early fall. For months, the hospitals in Rhode Island were understaffed and overwhelmed. Doctors and nurses were trying to cope with rising caseloads, often without the protective equipment they needed, with constantly shifting guidelines and with their own resilience stretched to the limit. Dr. Megan Ranney, a researcher and public health advocate, is also an emergency room physician at Rhode Island Hospital who has witnessed the full scope of the stateâs crisis firsthand. What she saw unfold over a single shift offers a window into what happened. Plowing Through It One day in late December, as the crisis reached new heights, Dr. Ranney girded for a long eight-hour shift. The sores behind her ears, where her glasses and the straps of the N95 and surgical masks dug in, still had not healed. But how could she complain, Dr. Ranney said, when her medical residents âeat, sleep, breathe Covidâ five days a week? The patients had it worse, she knew. Anxious and isolated, they became even more discomfited by the masked and unrecognizable doctors and nurses rushing around them. During Dr. Ranneyâs shift the prior week, she had seen a broad spectrum: elderly people on a downward spiral, otherwise healthy young Latino men, Cape Verdean immigrants with limited English comprehension. These demographics are partly what made Rhode Island particularly susceptible, said Dr. Ashish Jha, dean of the School of Public Health at Brown University in Providence: âCertainly in New England, it is the poorest state â so a lot of poverty, and a lot of multigenerational poverty.â As in most of the country, the Latino community has borne the brunt of the epidemic. In Rhode Island, Latinos have 6.7 times the risk for hospitalization and 2.5 times the risk of death, compared with white people. In the days before her shift, Dr. Ranney had been working in a part of the hospital intended to deal with non-Covid cases. But even people with other ailments, like ankle fractures, turned out to be positive for the virus, she found. âI never know from day to day how bad the surge will be,â she said. âIâve just got to plow through it.â It turned out to be an extraordinarily busy day. âThe E.R. is full, the hospital is full, the intensive care unit is full,â Dr. Ranney said. âAll of our units are moving as quickly as they can, but the patients keep coming in.â Every time she took off masks during a shift, she ran the risk of contaminating herself. She had had four cups of coffee before this shift, and nothing since. The average age of the patients that night was about 70. One elderly woman who had trouble breathing could not isolate because she lived with her children and grandchildren. At any rate, she arrived at the hospital 10 days into her illness, too late for isolation to matter. Updated March 5, 2021, 5:03 a.m. ET Rhode Islandâs epidemic has been disastrous for immigrant families in multigenerational households. âHow do you isolate from someone when you have one bathroom?â Dr. Ranney said. Itâs a problem throughout this diverse state. When Djini Tavares, 60, became infected in July, she was prepared to spend about $120 a night at a hotel â a sum many in her Cape Verdean community cannot afford â to isolate from her vulnerable 86-year-old father. Even before the pandemic, Ms. Tavares was fastidious about hygiene, keeping mounds of wipes and cleaning supplies in the house at all times. She could not imagine where she had picked up the virus. The loss of her godmother and a friend to Covid-19 had shaken her. Cape Verdeans are a close-knit community, and not being able to mourn the dead has been painful, Ms. Tavares said: âCulturally, I think itâs causing us to hurt even more.â On her shift, Dr. Ranney encountered Covid-19 patients who had blood clots or heart problems, or who still needed oxygen weeks after their diagnosis. Many patients had been very careful â or said they had â but were infected after a family member brought the virus into the household. The story is told too often in Rhode Island. Abby Burchfield, 58, lost her mother and stepfather to Covid-19 within days of each other at an assisted living center in New Jersey in April. Devastated and afraid, she and her family stayed away from restaurants, washed their hands often, and tried to wear masks everywhere. It wasnât enough. Ms. Burchfieldâs younger daughter, Lily, 21, became infected at her college in Virginia in August and was hospitalized. Then, in late October, her husband, Jimmy, 58, caught the virus from a co-worker who was infected but did not wear a mask. Despite Ms. Burchfieldâs best efforts she, too, was infected. She was hospitalized after she collapsed suddenly in the family kitchen. She recovered, but her husband, who was also admitted to the hospital, still has no taste, a limited sense of smell, and continuing fatigue. âMy biggest fear right now is protecting my older daughter,â Ms. Burchfield said. Workplace exposures have especially hurt the Latino and Cape Verdean community, many of whom hold jobs that cannot be done from home. But in state surveys, it also became obvious that people still were holding get-togethers of 15 to 20 people even as the virus spread, said Dr. James McDonald, medical director of the Covid-19 unit at the Rhode Island Department of Health. What You Need to Know About the Vaccine Rollout âPeople werenât willing to live differently during the pandemic,â he said. Dr. Ranney said there were several such cases in the emergency room that night. âItâs frustrating to see patients come in from car crashes when they were not wearing a seatbelt, or to see patients with a firearm injury because the firearm wasnât stored safely,â she said. âItâs like that to see folks with Covid.â The Masks âWere Disgustingâ Some nights in emergency medicine, the diagnoses and treatments are immediately obvious. But on this shift, Dr. Ranney said, âthere was very, very little that was straightforward or smooth.â A number of patients with substance abuse problems appeared, as well as people with mental illness who had become a danger to themselves. And âweâre seeing a lot of people who are just lonely,â she said. Dr. Ranney would get a respite, but many medical residents and nurses in Rhode Island were already burning out. Some felt that hospital administrators had not protected them. Early in the pandemic, most health care workers in Rhode Island, as in other parts of the country, did not have N95 masks. The masks are single-use, but when the nurses received an N95 each, they were asked to place them in paper bags at the end of their shift and put them back on again the next day. âThey stunk, they were slimy, they were disgusting. They made your face break out,â said a nurse at Rhode Island Hospital, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the hospital had instructed employees not to speak to the news media. If a strap broke, the mask would be returned with new straps stapled on. ïżœïżœThe staples would dig into your face,â the nurse said. Many nurses got just 40 hours of sick time a year, which roughly translated to three 12-hour shifts; a fourth day out might earn a reprimand. Because of this, many nurses werenât tested, and some came to work even when they were sick. At Eleanor Slater Hospital in Cranston, R.I., ill staff members led to an outbreak of at least 29 employees and nine patients. Itâs a phenomenon seen in hospitals throughout the United States. The rules for patients donât always accord with the science, said one nurse at Rhode Island Hospital. At first, the hospital did not allow anybody up from the E.R. until test results were back. But as the first surge ebbed, the rules became lax. Patients were sent up with pending test results, potentially exposing other patients as well as the nurses who cared for them. After treating one such patient, at least nine nurses tested positive for the virus, the nurse said. The policy at most hospitals in Rhode Island now is to have health care workers wear N95 respirators or similar reusable masks at all times, and to test anyone suspected of having Covid-19. But that does not account for patients who might be asymptomatic and who come in for other ailments. Rhode Island has adopted one unusual approach: Officials are distributing vaccines to anyone who will take them in Central Falls, regardless of age. Itâs a strategy that few other jurisdictions have tried. âWe decided to do that because of the horrific toll of the pandemic in those communities,â said Dr. Rodriguez, the vaccine committee member. Twenty percent of the adult residents have received at least one dose at local clinics, not including those who may have been immunized at work or elsewhere. The stateâs plan to immunize those at highest risk by age and geography, he added, âwill put out the fire where it is burning the most intensely.â In recent weeks, the number of cases in Rhode Island have fallen, as they have in the rest of the country. And fewer health care workers are getting sick because they have been immunized, so hospital shifts are better than they used to be, Dr. Ranney said. But cases in the state are still the third highest per capita in the country. And doctors are continuing to see patients who have so-called long Covid, she said: âThe trouble is that once patients get admitted, they donât leave.â Source link Orbem News #coronavirus #fell #Island #Rhode
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New Year 2021: The Virus That Ruined Everything
WARNING: THIS POST IS EXTREMELY LONG, YOU CAN EITHER SKIM TO SOME IMPORTANT PARTS IF YOU'D LIKE.
The 2020 decade is finally here and... Quite a lot of stuff has happened for the absoltue worse, and I didnât ask any of this.
Life continuously gets worse every time with bad stuff happening, mainly online drama and problems with my personal life, other things like celebrity deaths and among other things, but this year, no thanks to a certain virus and worse, my personal problems, this has definitely become the worst worst year yet!
(As for the thumbnail, I was gonna look for generic images of â2021âł but I realized I had saved this image since 2020 began, but looking at it now, I donât think it has hold up because 2020 has become a far worse year of its own. Hopefully for a 2020 2 picture for 2021 in case if life continues to get worse and worse)
This is definitely the longest Tumblr post Iâve ever written, so be prepared!
First off, let me apologize for last yearâs New Year post where I said it would be my last post and I would be retire from Tumblr, but after a few months, I got bored and I decided to come back because I canât live without blogging, so Iâll continue doing what I like doing, even if nobody reads or cares about my posts most of the time.
I should also tell you in advance that Iâm dropping the scoring system in my top best of the year lists, not only they were usually rigged, biased* and repetitive, it was pretty confusing too. What I was basically trying to do with these scores is just matching different systems, like for example:
10/10 Rank: S++ 100%
The first one is a standard one, the second is common in some games but itâs more loosely based on Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain where the top rank is S++, and the third part is of course based on Rotten Tomatoes, which thank god Iâm not even checking that site anymore and I have the word muted on Twitter so I wonât be disappointed with how terrible the movies I want to see the most perform (And why should I really care about that to begin with?). In the end, numbers donât matter, itâs all about how much I enjoy this media and how much do I love it or hate it to be top or bottom, thatâs all what matters.
*Although my lists will always be biased regardless. ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ
Now, letâs kick off this post with some of the cursed shit that happened throughout this year, there were Australia wildfires, we almost had World War 3, police brutality, and now the worst thing of all, COVID-19. Iâm not even gonna bother going into details on these other events other than COVID because itâs a very important issue that happened throughout life, even for my standards which I wouldnât give an absolute shit about everything else that happens. A lot of major events got delayed, movies and games that I was looking forward the most got delayed, etc. Everything about COVID was a mess, but as usual, everything that happens in my life is far worse than every event. Thereâs a plethora of issues that happened throughout this year with plenty of things that really affected me, so I really hope youâll understand (If not, itâs fine, nobody cares about these posts anyway).
When I was writing this draft, I put some titles to better indicate myself and to not forget about the important topics I want to talk about, and at some point I was debating myself whether or not I should leave these titles, but as I was writing without the titles when I got to certain topics, I realized how disorganized this post was looking, so Iâm definitely putting these titles back as part of the actual post. Iâll probably do this in every New Year post too. Anyway, letâs start!
Quarantine and mental health: Letâs talk about the current situation we live in, quarantine. A lot of people miss being outside and being social, although to be honest, Iâm not really missing out on anything, my family and I rarely go outside and we love staying indoors all the time anyways, except for going to the cinema, and the lockdown wasnât really that strict in my town.
The best part of the quarantine was at one point my mom decided that I wouldnât do online classes for my fine arts school since itâs not very convenient to learn stuff at home, and while I partially agree, the main reason why I didnât want to continue studying is probably because I lost care about it, Iâm always so distracted on my phone, Iâm always so slow with sculpture and painting, not being able to go to school is the best thing the quarantine could happen... Except... Thereâs still some priority with my older sister, and when September came, it was time for the homeworks once again, my worst nightmare...
Doing my older sisterâs homeworks really bring the worst of me, every time my mom always tells me thereâs homework to do, I always say âugh...â in varying tones and sometimes I get in trouble for it where my mom constantly gets triggered and tells me we must do it for my older sisterâs sake, blah blah blah, and always, I shit you not, I ALWAYS fight with my mom when we do homeworks. I try to tell her the doâs and donâts of how to use the internet and stuff, she sometimes takes too long researching for stuff, she constantly talks while figuring out and changes words when Iâm supposed to be writing the things sheâs supposed to tell me, I hate doing maps, etc. Just working with her is the absolute worst. I wish I could calm down in every situation, but I just canât, I always get triggered and I insult my mom in said things.
Sometimes my mom tells me that my angry behavior comes from my lack of sleep, I always insist her that my bad sleep has nothing to do with my angry behavior, itâs the way I am. (Lately my sleep schedule is a bit messy but, like I said, Iâm always angry because thatâs how I am)
If youâve been following me for a while and looked at how I tweet and interact with other Discord servers, you probably would have guessed that my behavior hasnât gotten any better, and indeed it hasnât. Of course I did promise I would change this year by trying to not attack peopleâs opinions and not being so mad at my mom, but being me as usual, Iâm never going to change at all.
I donât know whatâs worse, attacking peopleâs opinions, or always figting with my mom in what to do with doing my older sisterâs homeworks.
Before you tell me stuff like âWhy canât you tell your older sister to do her homeworks herself?â Because she doesnât care and thereâs one particular reason which Iâm probably not gonna discuss in detail publicly (Unless you ask me to).
I've recently been hearing stuff about the COVID vaccine coming to Mexico, while that sounds great news, but at the same time, I can't help but have a feeling that I don't have the highest hopes for this and I don't think things would be fine, like, what if someone might be allergic to whatever the vaccine is made of? Not to mention that the vaccine is delivered in syringes, instead of going like the ending of Spider-Man PS4, I have a better idea: Why not try to make planes and spray out the vaccine everywhere so everyone outside can breath it, like it was some sort of pesticide but it has the opposite effect? It's kind of a messed up idea when I brought the pesticide thing, but that's the best thing I could think of.
Novel progress: This is something I was desperately trying to achieve, but the road has become a complete let down. I donât want to disclose anything about my project, but I actually succeeded in publishing at least the first two chapters of my novel, the prologue and chapter 1, but Iâve been getting some rather harsh criticism in my website that Iâm not really fond of, some of them are suggestions Iâm not really sure I want to do, and even some that are just destructive, not only on my chapters but even on my blog posts when Iâm trying to talk about some changes and other things, even my older sisterâs harsh criticism doesnât help me at all. All the negative comments combined with my eternal procrastination and having NO IDEA what the story even is and trying to figure that out and the monthly gap, I couldnât help but give up on the project, I havenât flat out cancelled the project out of my mind, but in terms of making it exist, I put it on hold. Yeah, I was really hurt and I have no idea what to do.
I donât know about you but Iâm just very sensitive about the kind of feedback I got with my project, itâs just something I never asked for and it really hurts me so much, it completely discourages me to keep going
Iâll talk about the future of my project in my resolutions, but the one last thing to say about this is that once my project exists and if Iâm become successful, I really hope for once in my life my projects or I wonât get the same treatment as the next topic below.
The Last of Us 2 and YandereDev: This is seriously the most trigger inducing topic Iâve ever had to witness in my life, itâs beyond disgusting.
Literally every time over the last 3 years, everything that Iâm interested in always ends up getting some form of backlash for no absolute reason. Fate/Apocrypha in 2017, Venom, Ready Player One and FLCL2&3 in 2018, Captain Marvel in 2019, now itâs TLOU2 in 2020.
First of all, Iâm not a huge TLOU person, although I would have watched Letâs Play videos of people playing the first game, and from what Iâve seen, it was beloved by many, and then thereâs the iconic âThatâs the cutest fucking thing I have seen in my entire lifeâ meme which I didnât even know it was originated from TLOU to begin with.
The first game is a favorite, so the sequel should be an instant hype, but early this year, I started to see some hate around TLOU2, and it has been going for months, even some of my friends and artists I care about are joining the hate bandwagon for no reason...
LIKE, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???!!! THIS IS DISGUSTING!!!!! EVERYONE, LITERALLY EVERYONE ARE ABSOLUTE DISGUSTING MONSTERS!!!!!!
Literally, some of my friends and even some artists I care about talk shit about TLOU2 and they continue to do so! And then thereâs other people I do care about like YouTubers who do care about TLOU2 and thatâs enough to make me happy and I would LOVE to watch their videos but Iâm too spoiled and self-conscious about watching TLOU2 videos and like it, so I have no idea whose should should I be on!
And then thereâs The Game Awards which a lot of the nominees and even the winners were saturated with TLOU2, I canât even bother getting into details for this but I definitely expected people to be so mad at TLOU2 winning almost every single award.
Now with how much shit TLOU2 has gotten, the future of the TLOU series which can even affect the upcoming HBO series is not gonna be so bright and everyone have turned against Naughty Dog completely.
You know what the saddest part is? Looking at the hate for TLOU2 makes me think on how will my project can get treated with whatever bullshit I may put with certain characters and other stuff, and that shit is beyond depressing, I absolutely WISH my beloved project I may or may never bring to life can get the same treatment as TLOU2, EVER! NOT EVEN FROM THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT! JUST DONâT!
Please let this shitty year end so no one can ever talk about TLOU2 EVER AGAIN!
Lastly I have to talk about YandereDev, although I wouldnât like to get into details because Iâm probably gonna get crucified that Iâm still supporting them. I also donât have much to comment on them but it really sucks seeing people I have highly regarded going down in infamy. Especially with YandereDev, I still watch KubzScoutâs videos about Yandere Simulator and I like seeing how the game is progressing, and sure, YandereDev can be a shitty person but I canât help but feel for him and his something is something I wish I wouldnât be when defending my project, like I donât want to be the next TLOU2 and the next YandereDev. And then Iâve seen some of the most unfunniest memes Iâve seen in my entire life.
Hololive disasters: This isnât something that necessarily affected me pretty badly, but itâs worth pointing out, kinda like âIâve seen some shitâ situation.
As of late, Virtual YouTubers have become finally become a norm into our modern pop culture and global society as a whole, weâve all become VTuber simps. Whether itâs Hololive, Nijisanji, Pikamee, Projekt Melody, Artemis of the Blue, everyoneâs simping VTubers now.
Out of all the aforementioned groups and independent VTubers, the most popular group is of course Hololive. Hololive as of late has gained a huge following thanks to fan subtitled clips and even the Azur Lane collaboration early this year. Then Hololive English has launched and it became a success, and the biggest Japanese milestone is the 5th generation! But as soon as the 5th gen debuted, things donât get any sweet with Mano Aloe where she leaked her Live2D before her debut stream and forgot to delete her leak and other things. For something like this seems too outrageous, but with that she completely decided to retire even after she debuted, which was really sad, but what makes it especially furious for me is that Guchico, Aloeâs designer, got his art completely wasted and I doubt he would make another VTuber design for Hololive after this.
Then thereâs the infamous Kiryu Coco and Akai Haato Taiwan thing, which I donât really understand what the hell happened with that, and I donât want to be too offensive, but thatâs kind of retarded on the Chinese part.
There were a plethora of other disasterous events with Hololive but I think those two of Mano Aloe and Coco/Haato Taiwan are the most important worth talking about, this wasnât quite a good year for Hololive to say the least.
Artists: Another thing I didnât like throughout this year was the artists, and this isnât so much about dramas like last year, but Iâve started to hate a number of artists for various reasons, even Custom Maid people.
Iâm not gonna call out peopleâs names, so Iâm simply going to tell the actions which really turns me off. On the illustrators side, I got really tired of seeing artists complain about shit that I like and other things, and my absolute least favorite, artists completely being hard on themselves and being hardcore perfectionists. That is one of the worst things I hate seeing to artists, thereâs just something about their ranting about their perfectionism and everything else that really turn me off so badly, as for the times they do their âI canât draw, I hate my drawingsâ and whatever, it really pisses me off so much, why artists arenât just happy with what theyâre doing?! And to top it all off, they completely neglect their fansâ encouragement and they continue with the same shit over and over! Like, I donât understand! I just want to see them happy and deliver the best works they can, but if thatâs what they really feel all the time, why are they even drawing in the first place? Might as well they should retire for good and then Iâm immediately gonna regret saying this afterwards!
Then there's also some of the artists I follow (At least the ones who speak English) who talk shit about some anime, games or movies that I like, and some what I've seen even join in the TLOU2 hate train for no reason like I previously mentioned, which gives me a huge sour taste in my mouth. Sometimes I even went so far arguing with at least two from what I recently remember when one tweeted where he sounded like he was talking ill of Rui Komatsuzaki's art with the Danganronpa x Akudama Drive crossover art, and another one who for some reason doesn't even care about the Azur Lane game, and the biggest irony is that this is an artist that drew Taihou quite a lot, and that thought process is downright stupid! Like, what's even the point of drawing fan arts of the characters from a game which made you successful but made you start to lose care for it to begin with?! You're so stupid!
In short: I hate perfectionists and I hate when artists talk shit on the things I like. Even if I hate the way they are, I just can't let go of them because I still support them for their art, I wish I would simply care for artists for their art and not so much for them (Except for their health and stuff, although I still feel selfish about it), but I've grown too caring for some of them (At least the ones who speak English) that I would occasionally read their tweets about certain things like games, anime, movies, etc, and some of them leave me a sour taste in my mouth.
Then thereâs the Custom Maid people, although thereâs not much to say but what pisses me off the most in some cases is that they abruptly started to retire and disappear without a trace and thereâs not much I can do about that.
Throwing some Koikatsu artists in there as well, I donât really follow many Koikatsu artists but the one I truly believe was the absolute worst is ârenka.â (For some reason he deleted his Twitter, he might have ranted about something about his struggles but glad I didnât even witness that to even care about him at this point, although his Pixiv is still open) From the very beginning early this year, the dude did some rants about his struggles and other things I canât even bother to remember, but over the next few months Iâve grown to like the guy, we even followed each other and communicated for a while (That is until for some reason he decided to unfollow me so weâre no longer mutuals), but as of late, his content and his mental state have completely deteriorated, he stopped doing these âGood morningâ posts I always interacted with, he abandoned his one OC, and the worst part of renka is that heâs become so hungry for attention and numbers, I mean, his posts always get over 1 thousand likes and he thinks itâs not enough. And the one thing that broke my heart the most about talking to this guy, I made these collab screenshots (Or just some ăăăźć (Yosonoko, someone else's OC) screenshots I did for fun) and renka never even bothered interacting with them. No likes, no retweets, no replies, NOTHING! The dude for no reason completely neglects my screenshots I did for fun, these screenshots I made are probably the screenshots I'm the least proud of ever making, the dude was so ungrateful, fuck the guy. Then there's also the time where renka out of the blue blocked a Custom Maid person I interacted with, which gives me more reason to not care about the guy.
I seriously wish I can at least counter some artists' opinions very often and to not get discouraged, basically virtually slapping in their faces like I always want, but I really wish people wouldn't take me as if I'm threatening them with a strong tone (Though sometimes I do it on purpose) to the point I would get instantly blocked, even when I try to make a rather innocent disagreement. This is all for directly interacting with these artists, in my private server, I ALWAYS talk shit to them behind their backs, their art and the artists themselves.
And yeah, even if I were to start drawing regularly and I face the same struggles the artists have which makes me an absolute hipocrite, but the thing is Iâm still so inexperienced with digital art and the artists I care about are hella experienced, itâs completely ironic and itâs just frustrating to watch!
Private Discord server and downfall: Probably the most heartbreaking thing that happened to me and I have ever done this year. In 2018, for a while Iâve constantly been making test servers just to copy and paste some things and I always ended up deleting them afterwards, but one day I somehow have finally decided to make a server thatâll stay forever, and indeed has been which has become my personal journal where I can freely and privately talk about some things where I wouldnât publicly do so in Twitter mainly for my controversial tone and opinions.
In 2020, a few months ago, I started bringing some people into my server, although one time I did bring someone to take a quick look at it and got out afterwards, but this time the people I brought were friends I recently made and the ones I care about now, which they happen to be Custom Maid creators and an artist (The following links contain NSFW content, click at your own risk), such as Ten Speed (Who was the only person active mainly because heâs the only second English speaking person, heâs a Filipino), hinosuna (Main account, heâs been using this more nowadays since June 30th, he seemingly retired from doing Custom Maid content), ryuuunnji, Shimotsuki Nagomi and Maidin (Who at the time he was about to delete his Twitter account for some drama, I asked him to make a Discord to better communicate rather than using Pixiv, then the Twitter account was remade into what you see in the link, no communication, screenshot posting only).
On December 4th, however, things started to take a dive. ryuuunnji had left the server, I asked him on the Twitter DM about it and he has indeed left the server because he wasnât very active on it, which makes me sad. With that being said, it came into my mind that I would start trying to kick out the other inactive members of my server, so I tagged Nagomi and Hinosuna about it but to no response, but then I DMâd Maidin on his personal and communicational account, I was asleep for a few hours, I woke up and I found out he has cut ties with me. He softblocked me on Twitter, he blocked me on Discord, he deleted the MEGA link that contained all his screenshots (which I didnât get a chance to download some of them, and I really hope he didnât delete the collab screenshots he made with my characters), all of that without prior warning... Notihng. This put me in a really awful position.
Maidin and I had a pretty good history, I always liked, retweeted and interacted to his tweets, I brought him into my server because of some struggle he was having and we did interact a little bit in the server for a while,
This happened similarly to another Custom Maid creator known as gg_colombia, I made a TierMaker of ranking Custom Maid creators I follow and some I donât but still know, even throwing a bit of Koikatsu people, where I put a friend of Colombia in the âDieâ tier because that person I put in that tier blocked me a day after my birthday after telling them that my birthday happened the day after in Mexico and I got blocked for no reason, and apparently Colombia got really angry and blocked me, I communicated with other creators who followed me to vent my problem, and somehow Colombia and I eventually settled. But with Maidin... It seems like he really doesnât want to talk to me anymore, Iâm pretty sure I broke his heart. To this day Iâm still trying really hard to contact him in different ways but he completely neglects me, and that really sucks how much I think about how I have instantly turned him against me, itâs just sad.
And then I got blocked by Maidin for good on the 28th after tweeting him begging to follow me again which makes things even worse now, at least Iâm still not blocked on Pixiv, but Iâm not having any high hopes for that, Iâve had enough.
I should never take Japanese people for granted, and I should never invite anyone into my private server ever again.
This one action that completely messed me up so bad, one of the moments that truly make me question my sanity, my being and my overall existence. I was pretty depressed for that entire weekend, it got me thinking for a while I really want to leave behind my current social media accounts and start from scratch with a new identity and stuff, but I got tired of doing that and when I got blocked some people, I didnât care anymore, but now itâs coming back.
In late November, I made a Twitter thread ranting about my history of deleting accounts and even wanting to do the same thing over and over again as well as the cons for doing so. Now that I think about it, I donât think it should even matter about the names I will use, it depends on the kind of person I actually am, and even though I try to change and try to be different, someoneâs gotta be bound to recognize me for some things I might post or something. Iâm also paranoid that people wonât support me at all, not as Hajime Komaeda, not as my pen name, but me in real life as a whole, no matter the names I go by.
I always think about doing aggressive call-outs to some people like itâs no big deal, but then when it comes to the execution, I get in very big trouble for it and I always feel bad, but now, I got what I deserved. 3 long years having the same problem with peopleâs opinions combined with telling a friend they were being kicked to my Discord server which left him heartbroken, not to mention always ALWAYS being aggressive towards my mom every time we do my older sisterâs homeworks, Iâm a really messed up person who doesnât deserve to exist in this world. I donât want to be a burden nor lose friends any longer.
Even if I've grown really close to Ten, there were times that we did argue and dear god, I really hope I won't get too salty about what we talk about, I don't want to break friendships any longer, especially towards someone who's now my #1 friend, fuck everyone else I talked with before.
Now, letâs move on to the more somewhat positive side of things throughout this year.
The positives
Pixelbuster and Phan-Site: Probably the best thing to come out of this year is Pixelbuster getting cancelled. Although I havenât gotten a chance to witness this mess live as it was happening, I was asleep for a couple of hours, I woke up and started checking Twitter on my phone and I saw a tweet from MysticDistance talking about Pixelbuster and a couple of retweets and I was like âHoly shit, Pixelbuster is getting owned!â and his Discord server was gone, and with that said, I blocked Pixelbuster in Discord as well.
If you donât remember, Pixelbuster was under controversy from some people at gaming news site Final Weapon where Pixel took advantage of their name to get free games with codes from developers. So yeah, that was quite a shitty move, but in all honesty, to this day I still feel like I donât give a shit about that, when the controversy happened, I just capitalized in ranting about why Pixelbuster was so unlikeable, I made a post about it as well for more details as to why I hated him.
I was asleep for a few hours and I didnât get a chance to see his downfall happen at the very moment, when I woke up, his Discord server was already gone and I wanted to see the shitstorm that happened in there, but itâs all gone.
PIxel even tried going back into social media to apologize to some people I assume he got blocked by under the name SpookyLava/Sp00kyLava with a picture of Sucy from Little Witch Academia as his profile picture. Of course this did not go well as people immediately started calling him out, and just like that, he completely disappeared without a trace for good. I donât think Iâve seen any activity or a word from Pixel as far as I know, so heâs completely gone and I really hope I wouldnât see him ever again.
A little while ago I came across his Nitomatta Twitter account being open for some reason, I canât verify for sure this is Pixel himself since thereâs only this one tweet that simply says some laughter and then Soul Kiwamiâs tweet of the TwitLonger about Final Weaponâs experience working with Pixel that for some reason is actually pinned (Wait, how is it possible to pin someone elseâs tweets? Donât you simply pin your own tweets? How the hell does this work?), itâs even stranger when this account has been open and the one tweet where posted around the time the controversy happened.
As much as I hated Pixelbuster so much and I hated reading his tweets constantly complaining about the current media and franchises that I had muted Pixel for a while before the controversy happened, sometimes I canât help but wonder what is actually Pixelbuster up to now, like for example, does he play Genshin Impact? There were other things that came into my mind, but the Genshin Impact thing is the one thing I have in mind the most.
The only thing I ever liked about Pixel were his shitposts, sometimes he was funny and I retweeted his memes. He also even got retweeted by some Japanese artists, including the creator of Pop Team Epic, bkub Okawa, where he retweeted a clip posted by Pixelbuster, I canât remember what video was it exactly, maybe it might have been a Resident Evil 3 mod video or something.
To Pixelbuster, if youâre still here and youâre possibly reading this: GET FUCKED!
Next is Phan-Site and this one was quite a surprise. For a while I grew uninterested with Phan-Siteâs Twitter, so I muted him. His Discord server also didnât do any favors for me, so sometimes I did my usual complaining about peopleâs opinions and just being angry, after some time being inactive and just for my feeling of uninterest, I left the server.
Although not everything about Phan-Siteâs Discord was necessarily bad, as I met Emanuel Gracia, a Persona fanfiction writer who I actually looked up to the guy for his writing skills and motivation, I never necessarily read his fanfictions (Sometimes I did take a peak at his Persona Next Gen fanfic, or as itâs now called Persona Grand Legacy, for reference in how to write novels), but sometimes I did give him some info about my top secret project as a symbol of trust as writers and Iâm even in his Discord server as a mod.
(Gracia, if youâre reading this, Iâm so sorry)
Although our friendship is not going to last long after two years and by the time this post is published, itâs most likely going to happen because I grew completely dissatisfied with the guy and his Twitter for my same problem of hating to see his opinions and talks shit about other things I like so I muted him as well, and probably the worst of him is his fixation with One Piece, heâs so fixated to it that he treats it like god and he uses it to shit on My Hero Academia and possibly other modern Shounen (Though he utterly criticizes MHA the most) which really pisses me off. Not to mention Iâm pretty toxic in his server with the same stuff I vent over and over and some other problems, so it really doesnât help.
Anyways, back to Phan-Site, the controversy happened when MysticDistance posted a tweet of a screen video capture of his voice message from Phan-Site which Iâm probably not gonna link the tweet because itâs quite scary to listen to, but what I can say is that Phan-Site definitely wasnât in a good mood, as he was threatening Mystic to answer his phone in a very angry voice.
After that tweet was posted, Phan-Site disappeared just like that. The last thing I remember is someone taking up the mantle of the Phan-Site Facebook page, but some people were telling this person to better delete the account so the brand wouldnât continue any longer because of what happened, and thatâs it, havenât heard anything about Phan-Site or the person behind him ever since.
After Pixelbuster and Phan-Site disappeared, it made me realize that I wouldnât like to ever follow or even associate with these kinds of bigshots ever again, neither RedMakuzawa nor UltimaShadowX, or any other of these accounts in general, not even Karoshi of all people who Iâm still somewhat attached for some reason, because theyâre often very bland, they often tweet opinions in a very harsh and gatekeeping tone, etc. I just really hate these kinds of people, I donât wanna see them nor I wanna be friends with them if theyâre gonna talk shit about the stuff I love.
The Boys: This is something I never expected to do, but it was something I wanted to do for a long time when season 1 came out. One day, I heard my mom and my older sister having a conversation where instead of watching shitty YouTube videos, she should at least watch some series, and that got me thinking about it and somehow I randomly went to Amazon, subscribe for Prime, check Amazon Prime Video and I immediately saw The Boys on the homepage and I started watching it, and boy, Iâm so hooked on it and I seriously wish I could have seen the series sooner!
And the most unexpected part is that this is my first time watching an exclusive series in a streaming platform, completely legally! I would normally go to some random pirated websites like swatchseries or whatever where I would pretty much watch everything, but not with The Boys, I actually paid for Amazon Prime Video, well, it was my first time being subscribed to Prime so my first subscription was for free. The best part of watching The Boys using Amazon Prime Video is that I can actually turn on the subtitles and even change the language dubs, so sometimes I watched a little bit of the series with Japanese dub, though I prefer watching the series in the original English language with English subtitles on, but itâs fun watching the series in Japanese dub. (Unrelated but at some point I rewatched Venom in Amazon Prime Video and I was sad that it doesnât have Japanese dub in there)
I actually started watching The Boys a few days before season 2 even began, so I managed to watch the first season just in time and then I definitely watched season 2 weekly (Except for the finale, I did have to go to swatchseries for the finale because I wouldnât use Amazon Prime for the rest of October).
Things get more hype when the news of No More Heroes 3 being delayed were being released, Suda51 also stated that he happened to hire the comic artist of The Boys, and I went all-out fanboying my ass off, itâs the best thing that has ever happened to my life by a mere coincidence of watching The Boys!
To end things off, Iâve been very frustrated with Agents of SHIELD and The Blacklist. The final season of Agents of SHIELD started off interestingly, but then until the second half of the final season was an absoltue let down, it was meh, Iâm so glad Agents of SHIELD is over, the era of Marvel TV shows that made references to the MCU but werenât even allowed to have crossovers anymore is over, and now with the Disney+ shows, weâre finally getting the TRUE MCU connected and crossover shows we deserve!
Then thereâs The Blacklist, and oh boy, donât even get me started on that series because lately it has gone consistently shit, and things get worse when in November, they literally premiered the first two episodes and then the series will continue in January 22nd which is too far and too long of a break for a season that came out this November! Not to mention that they literally recast Dom after the original actor passed away a few months ago, but only to kill him off in the second episode of the premiere, this was an absolute waste of a recast! After the original actor passed away, I always thought they would leave Dom in a coma and write him off of the show, but no, they decided to recast a new actor to continue the character and his story one last time, and then they did this shit, write the character again only for two episodes and the rest is history!
Elizabeth couldnât have put a better way to describe my feelings on the show lately with this scene!
I donât really know for sure whatâs my future of watching The Blacklist is going to be, this episode was so bad that I ranted how bad it is to the point where I said âIâm done watching this show,â I mean, I really want to stop watching this show, I want to drop it, I want to stop caring about it, but once the season returns, Iâm gonna feel so bad about missing out whatâs going on in the story when I may come across tweets from the official Twitter account of the show. And then thereâs this Japanese article where Nijisanji Vtuber, Shizuka Rin or ShizuRin, actually appeared and she watches The Blacklist! But even that doesnât do me any favors to continue watching this shit any longer!
So yeah, fuck Agents of SHIELD! Fuck The Blacklist! The Boys is my new favorite TV show and I will never get tired of it! I love The Boys, I love these kinds of adult rated superhero stuff with gore, strong language, sex scenes and such, it makes me think of Kick-Ass!
Other major events: There are also some major events I forgot to address in last yearâs New Year post, like the US Elections, the death of Adobe Flash and even the next gen consoles.
Then thereâs the US Elections, although I donât have much to say and I normally donât care about politics in general, let alone foreign politics, but Iâm glad we wonât have Trump again, although Iâm not sure if I might have heard great things about John Biden but at least I wanted someone other than Trump. Now for Mexico, Iâll have to wait 4 more years to get a new president and remove AMLO, although Mexican presidents are always useless.
Next is the death of Adobe Flash Player, today is finally the day for to say our prayers to Flash, letâs press F to pay respects. There were also some news that Flash playback will stop being supported on January 12th 2021, which makes it even sadder because thereâs still some things that still use Flash, like some really ancient Newgrounds stuff and even Chaturbate (Yeah, this is a little weird, I normally donât use the site often but I had once for Projekt Melody), I even recently watched an old Madness fan cartoon that is now deleted on Newgrounds onto the Wayback Machine and Firefox asked me to use Flash, so I did that. And this current version of Firefox, version 84, is the last one to support the Adobe Flash Player.
Hopefully there will be some good alternatives to play some old SWF Flash content, like Ruffle which is an open source Flash emulator that is actually sponsored by Newgrounds of all people, and I recently found a tweet from Tom Fulp that Newgrounds will soon be using Ruffle. The demo page of the website even allows you to play the original Alien Hominid game before the remaster comes out, itâs not perfect but at least itâs something. As of the writing of this post on December 23rd, I didnât know I can actually download the Ruffle extension, I always thought it was something thatâll take a long time to perfect and only has a demo page to test it out, but they actually have some download links for the standalone program and even browser extentions, although itâs probably still not the first major release or anything, it might be something (I tried but for some reason Firefox wouldnât let me download the extension).
Oh, and speaking of deaths, letâs press F to pay respects to Chadwick Boseman, Keiji Fujiwara and HorribleSubs. To Chadwick Boseman, especially, this was quite a shock heâs had colon cancer for the last 4 years, he fought quite a long battle like a true warrior, Wakanda Forever! And Keiji Fujiwara amd Kobe too, god damn, we lost a lot of great ones this year!
As for the console next gen, the Playstation 5 and the Xbox Series X/S, although weâll stick to PS5 because Iâve always been a Playstation person, donât judge me. This is something Iâm not quite fond of it happening now because my biggest problem is that my family bought the PS4 last year and it felt like it was way too late. Sometimes I do feel tempted on wanting to get a PS5 so bad now, but thereâs still gonna be some games coming to the PS4 (inb4 people are gonna be playing those PS4 games into the PS5) and thereâs still like a shitton of games that I havenât played in years and who knows if my older sister and I are gonna have time to play them all. itâs still gonna have some time left because there will be games coming to the PS5 entirely for good in like 3 or 4 years. Looks like Iâll have to wait for another 6 years to own the PS5, and then the next year, the PS6 would be released.
Really the only thing that could have sold me on the PS5 is if it was colored black and most importantly, if it was actually fully backwards compatible with every Playstation game, that could have been an absolute win so I could have replayed some PS2 games I still own, but sadly itâs not.
Home improvements: Weâve also had some home improvements, like adding a gate around my bedroomâs hallway where the staircase goes so my dogs wonât annoy me at my door, but the biggest improvement weâve made is finally upgrading our internet modem and we finally got proper home Wi-Fi... For better and for worse.
I didnât know I wanted this to happen but it was about time to upgrade our internet, but the results have been mixed. On one hand, I guess the internet is mostly the same, itâs not faster or anything but at least we finally got proper Wi-Fi on our house, but at the same time, the Wi-Fi can be absolute garbage especially when it barely reaches my bedroom which Iâm in the second floor and that doesnât make sense considering we live in a small house and even if Iâm on top, the router should be closer to me! When Iâm really frustrated with the Wi-Fiâs poor signal, I continue to use the Windows 10 mobile hotspot thing which Iâve been using for years. Not to mention that my internet on my laptop goes on and off randomly and that really annoys me, I swear when we had our old router, this didnât happen before.
Despite these problems, at least itâs better than having no internet in FOREVER when the lights go out like it happened with our old router. Sometimes the Wi-Fi signal works, but sometimes it doesnât, it drives me insane. That is until I finally decided I would start using the Wi-Fi for my laptop since as of the writing of this post in the 29th, the Wi-Fi has been working rather nicely, the speed of my Wi-Fi on my laptop so far is kinda the same as my ethernet, so hopefully itâll be fine. Until the Wi-Fi goes slow, Iâm switching back to the ethernet.
As of the publishing of this post, I havenât gotten any problem with using the Wi-Fi and that makes me jump into the conclusion that my issue with having my internet randomly turn on and off really comes from my ethernet cable. Sometimes I did run into some slow uploading problems but most of the Wi-Fi is fine.
Thatâs all I have to discuss about my life this year, it was an absolute disaster and even I do think I wish I was dead, I didnât want to exist in this planet any longer yet I continue to fight and suffer through a lot of things. What do I even want to accomplish by arguing people by forcing my opinions against theirs and stuff? Power and attention, but it never turns out like I want. People tell me over and over not to care about what people say, but I continue ignoring and doing the same fight with no success over and over, my problem is indeed that Iâm too caring. Yes, Iâm too caring about everything, and ignorance is almost never my solution. Thereâs seriously nothing I can do about it.
Anyway, hereâs a silly meme about my 2020 to enlighten this up.
Best and worst of the year and anticipated releases
Letâs finally move on to my favorite part of making these New Year posts, the good old top best lists and most anticipated releases of whatever media I love! This year is going to be a little different, as Iâm making these top best lists of each category, Iâll be talking about the most anticipated releases of the same categories I talk about simultaneously! And looking at the upcoming releases, 2021 is looking to be the most lit year ever!
Better keep in mind that not all releases could be for 2021, they may be bound to be delayed to 2022 or beyond.
Top 15 best anime of the year
I already have my top 4 contenders figured out for quite a while (Which youâll find out), but as usual, figuring out the rest is quite difficult. At first I thought I had this list to top 10 maximum but now I got some perfect candidates to make this a top 15 list instead, a little shorter than last yearâs with 20, but itâs worth it.
15.- Watanuki-san Chi To: Itâs probably gonna be a permanent pattern where the Watanuki-san Chi series (if itâll get more seasons, that is) will always be the first, or the bottom depending on how you read these top lists, since itâs a dorama and not an âanime,â but itâs still a good series regardless. And no itâs not honorable mention worthy because I really like the Watanuki-san Chi series.
Also, there are many people who make subtitled highlight clips of various VTubers, why arenât they making fansubs of Watanuki-san Chi To or no streaming platform has picked up the series yet? smh.
14.- Eizouken
13.- Hentatsu (TV): Iâm usually biased to Tatsukiâs works now that should have been amongst the top 3, and not to say this series is rather disappointing (I would never call any of Tatsukiâs works disappointing, bad or worst), but given that this is a short series, let alone EXTREMELY short with 1 minute and 30 seconds long (The size of openings and endings), I feel like it wasnât enough.
Thereâs also this one episode in the TV series that is kind of the same as the one from the web series with some changes, like Tatsuki kinda threw this episode in there to fill the gap anyways.
(Web series - TV series comparison)
I kinda wish this was instead a full fledged TV series for Keifuku-san since Tatsuki tweeted this and even Crunchyroll thought it would be a Keifuku-san series, but he jebaited us all, but I do admit that I admire the troll marketing, that was quite an unexpected move.
Now it seems like weâre gonna have to wait until 2022 so we see a new Tatsuki release, I hope it is the Keifuku-san series that was supposedly teased, but if itâs gonna be another remake of Tatsukiâs old works like Kemurikusa or a brand new series, Iâm down for whatever it may be.
(Also, let me painfully remind you that Tatsuki will never make Kemurikusa 12.2, so whatever happened at 12.1 will remain as a cliffhanger)
12.- Uzaki-chan wa Asobitai
11.- Girlsâ Frontline Healing Chapter season 2
10.- Osomatsu-san season 3
8.- Magia Record: I donât know about Magia Record as a game with its story, and in my opinion this one is probably not as messed up or even ârevolutionaryâ as the main series back in the day, but itâs still an interesting series. regardless. I also reward Magia Record for having the Best Anime Soundtrack of the Year! Just listen to this masterpiece!
8.- Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni Gou
7.- Kaguya-sama season 2
6.- D4DJ First Mix: Sanzigen absolutely dominated this year with a ton of releases I never knew I needed, but with all these releases, weâll have to pick TWO of the very best for this list BanG Dream season 3 and D4DJ, but first, weâll start off with D4DJ First Mix!
I have made pretty much all the Sanzigen shows of the year but Bandori season 3 as A-tier anime (While the aforementioned Bandori S3 is S-tier), this was going to be another A-tier anime for the sake of being a new franchise, but after watching 5 episodes of the series, it already changed my mind that this is S-tier, Iâm liking the concept and the characters very much!
5.- BanG Dream! season 3: Bandori season 3 is in my opinion is the seriesâ best season, mainly because Iâve been waiting for the plotline of Rokka being a member of RAS since I researched in the Wiki and stuff and saw these images of RAS that has Rokka in it, and this season overall made me like RAS a lot more, I would go so far to say that their chemistry and development are more interesting than their songs, not that I donât like them or anything but I havenât gotten the time to listen to them in Spotify.
But with my new-found love for RAS came at a cost and it was not very good: Their wasted potential in Garupa Pico Ohmori, youâll find out why in my list of Worst Anime of the Year above.
4.- Fruits Basket season 2
3.- Ishuzoku Reviewers
I had trouble deciding on whether or not Ishuzoku Reviewers or Fruits Basket season 2 would be third place.
On one hand, Ishuzoku Reviewers is the most risk-taking and controversial ecchi series Iâve seen with very good hentai-worthy sex scenes and the series really speaks out to me the most since Iâve grown to have a very NSFW image, particularly with my few Custom Order Maid 3D2 content as well as my daily retweet spam of everything NSFW. With Fruits Basket, the story and character development continues to fascinate me and I canât wait to see the final season next year.
But on the other hand, and mainly with Ishuzoku Reviewers, there are the cons like the show being biased with disgusting fetishes and even elfcist (Thatâs kind of a weird word I came up with. To put it better: elf discrimination), with Fruits Basket, I really donât have much problems with the series overall except for the Student Council characters, theyâre the absolute worst (Except Machi, sheâs a good girl), and then thereâs episode 9 of the season with Kyo talking to Akito and that was absolutely painful to watch (The main reason why is because the episode was too dark for me idk).
2.- ID:INVADED:To this day I still canât get over how amazing the series is, from its animation from a struggling studio, to its story which actually got me a bit into theory crafting, my theories didnât get paid off nor they were answered in the series which leads to plot holes, but I was very fascinated for the series.
1.- Akudama Drive: This is my grand savior of 2020, this is the one Tookyo Games project I was excited the most since the studio was founded and announced three other projects! Yes, call me biased due to my old love for Danganronpa, but I love this show! So much so that I would occasionally tell an old friend of mine to watch the series, I havenât asked him too much about it nowadays, but I doubt he would still watch the series because heâs quite busy.
Honorable mentions
Sakura Wars: The Animation and Argonavis from BanG Dream: Counting double because theyâre both Sanzigen shows. And they probably would have been in my main list, probably make one entry focused on all Sanzigen shows, but I had to pick Bandori season 3 and D4DJ separately if only Sanzigen didnât abuse the hand drawn background characters way too much in Sakura Wars: The Animation, and the atrocious episode 13 of Argonavis.
Heya Camp
Nekopara
Brand New Animal
Attack on Titan The Final Season: Iâm not convinced this has got to be Best Anime of 2020 material based on 4 episodes alone, Iâm still going to wait until the series ends so I can officially declare this as Best Anime of 2021.
Aggretsuko season 3
Munou na Nana
Arknights Holy Knight Light: This came out in the 1st anniversary livestreams for global Arknights, which was around Christmas Eve. But despite the timing of the release, this is actually more like a New Year mini anime special, so itâs definitely worth rewatching a billion times every New Year!
Fate Grand Carnival: LAST MINUTE POST-PUBLISH EDITING BUT YOOOOOOOOOOOO, A BRAND NEW CARNIVAL PHANTASM WITH FGO SKIN?! SIGN ME UP!
OH WAIT, THERE WILL BE A SERIES TOO IN SUMMER?! LETâS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
(Source)
AFTER A YEAR WITH A DISAPPOINTING FATE SPECIAL IN 2019 WITH NOTHING BUT PURE FGO BABYLONIA, NOT ONLY THEY DELIVERED A TOTALLY NEW FATE SPECIAL ANIMATION, BUT ALSO A BRAND NEW CARNIVAL PHANTASM SERIES!!! BEST OF ALL, ITâS LERCHE THATâS DOING THIS SERIES AGAIN! THE KING RETURNS!!!
OF COURSE THIS OVA ITSELF IS S TIER AND IâLL INCLUDE IT IN THE WINTER 2021 TIER!
Dishonorable mentions
Donkyuu Hentai HxEROS - Worst: This is my #1 dishonorable mention because, first of all, I should point out that pretty much the entire series is rather okay, in fact, itâs got some pretty good fanservice scenes (despite the jarring censors), I did like the series a bit and shouldnât be considered the âworstâ of the year, but thereâs one character in particular who pretty much kills my interest in the series:
I stressed enough how much I hate Kirara to death! Iâm not even gonna go bother going into details as to why do I hate Kirara, you can either read my previous anime review posts to see why do I absolutely hate her. She was truly painful to watch.
I have quite a list of waifus but I never necessarily hated a waifu ever, sure, there are those I donât like or care but theyâre not hate or worst worthy, but Kirara has become the first waifu I would officially call her as the worst waifu EVER. End of story.
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Danmachi season 3 and Castlevania season 3: Both have delivered some storylines I wasnât particularly fond with (In the case of Castlevania S3, this is my unpopular opinion given that it was otherwise well-received), but that doesnât mean theyâre flat out disappointing like the following list.
Top 6 disappointing and worst anime of the year
6.- Welcome to the Japari Park season 2 - Disappointing: For a while I was kinda sad and wondering when will there be new episodes so the series can continue where episode 24 left off with Ceval being launched into Riukiu region, that is until on April 26th, I randomly found out the series was continuing, I was really excited to see the series continue! I was quite happy with the series returning and all, but whatâs the catch with this second season (?) being so disappointing? Well, for the sole reason that this season is one cour shorter than the first season, lots of plot holes and rushed pacing that makes this final season unsatisfying (Given that this is a short series after all),
The problem is I didnât know this was going to be the final season of the series, although I should have seen it coming from the very beginning but halfway through, it was time for the endgame.
So, after Welcome to the Japari Park ended, what about the future of Kemono Friends in the anime side of things? Should we expect a third Kemono Friends season this 2021? Although there hasnât been signs of a third Kemono Friends season coming and itâs still debatable whether or not it should be a continuation of the first two seasons or make it an adaptation of the game with the same name, which itâs extremely baffling that the game called âKemono Friends 3âł exists in the first place (Maybe it is the third Kemono Friends game in the series? I donât know).
5.- BanG Dream! Garupa Pico Ohmori - Disappointing: I never watched the Garupa Pico series, so when Ohmori was announced, or rather, announced that RAISE A SUILEN and Morfonica were announced to appear in the series, I had to binge through the first season, and it was... Okay? I mean, it seems like a good series but I wasnât really impressed.
I never knew there was a second season happening, that is until I randomly checked AIRâs Twitter and they posted a tweet of Garupa Pico Ohmori having a new visual that features RAS and Morfonica, which that means RAS and Morfonica are confirmed to appear in the series. I was of course excited to see RAS in this comedy spin-off, along with a band I havenât seen in the main anime series yet, but one of the upcoming movies is going to feature Morfonica. Now, after seeing that AIR tweet, I donât want to get into detail, but I saw a reply of some rando saying âThe good Bandori series is here!â and I went into an argument with the guy, and the dude annoyingly repeats the word âForced dramaâ to the main Bandori series. I was quite pissed throughout all that morning, but thankfully I didnât become spoiled and my opinion on the main Bandori anime series hasnât changed.
Anyways, moving on to actually talk about the series, it started quite strangely with an alien artifact of a guitar and all of a sudden the town where the girls usually go to CiRCLE has turned into a city with CiRCLE being nowhere to be found, the next few episodes were nothing really special, but then we finally got into episode 7 where it finally introduces RAS and Morfonica, I was so excited seeing my girls RAS appearing in the chibi spin-off series, episode 10 came out and it had Rei, which was nice and all, but then as more episodes went on and on, there was another episode that featured CHU2 and Pareo which is episode 22, the finale came which the RAS girls showed up again, and... I just realized... THEY ABSOLUTELY WASTED RAS AND THEY NEVER GOT A DEDICATED EPISODE! Even Morfonica of all bands actually got a dedicated episode for fuckâs sake! (Episode 19)
This is an absolute embarrassment, I grew to love RAS so much since Bandori season 3, I didnât know the second season of Garupa Pico was coming which was announced for some time and they happened to reveal RAS and Morfonica, which leads me to believe they were never meant to have as much screentime like I hoped they would be, but they absolutely did RAS so dirty, I hate this!
I may be fixated the new characters, so what about the rest of the series with the original characters? Well, thereâs not much to say other than for this season, I couldnât care less for the OG cast as much as the new bands like I wanted to, and sometimes I did laugh into some episodes, but I wasnât really impressed with the series AT ALL, like about 80% I didnât find the humor at all.
So yeah, this was quite a disappointing season with not only being not very funny and interesting, but also wasting new characters, especially the one band I grew to love in Bandori S3. And to the guy I argued about the main Bandori anime series where he constantly said âforced dramaâ and he called the Garupa Pico series as âthe good Bandori series,â Iâm sorry but this ainât it, chief.
One thing I do gotta compliment the series for is how nice the animation is, but also introducing Morfonica into the anime media before the main series did and after the Second Live film, I really hope Sanzigen could make a fourth season so itâll properly introduce Morfonica into the series and thatâs where I would start caring about them.
Speaking of Sanzigen, for some reason I always neglected this series in particular when talking about how many other shows Sanzigen released this year, at least the CG ones. And yes, believe it or not, the Garupa Pico series is actually made by Sanzigen, or at least co-produced by Sanzigen since thereâs other studios attached, so this is more of a miscellaneous release compared to the rest of Sanzigenâs library that came out this year, the CG shows.
4.- Toji no Miko Tomoshibi - Worst: The Toji no Miko franchise continues to fail to impress me, and this OVA doesnât really do any favors, the second part of the OVA completely bleed out my interest for its horrible writing and animation.
3.- Guraburu - Worst: Throughout the year, Cygames has released a couple of trash adaptations this year, but first letâs talk about Guraburu.
At first I thought this is the most offensively bad Cygames anime I watched, but itâs a little extreme, the better word I would describe this series is âblandâ because everything about it is bland. The tone and direction seems awkward but the animation is almost Queen Bee-tier bad.
This is one media I truly think it should have stayed as it is and didnât need to be brought to life in anime.
2.- Princess Connect Re:Dive - Worst: At first I thought Guraburu is the more offensively bad Cygames anime I watched this year but bland is kind of a different level of bad, but this one gave me a sour taste in my mouth. The series is pretty much a Konosuba wannabe, from the tone and goofy minor character designs, it just really turns me off, it just feels like this is not for me.
To make matters worse, itâs getting a second season this 2021, well, letâs see if this will make me feel better or worse with this adaptation.
One person who randomly found me on Twitter told me that this anime is more of a prologue for the non-Priconne players and doesnât spoil some of the major arcs, Iâm not sure if I can verify that since I havenât really played Priconne but Iâll take it as a solid opinion to attack me for talking shit about the Priconne anime.
Iâve kind of come to realize that Cygames and their IPs donât really resonate well with me at all, Iâm probably not the biggest Cygames person or maybe Iâve grown to have a very complicated relationship with Cygames as a whole which makes me think I donât even like how theyâve grown into. Probably the anime Iâm okay with is Manaria Friends, in retrospect before I rewatch it, I think it was an alright series, but what I will never forget about the anime is how the series was originally gonna come out in 2016 but was delayed for 3 long years and I think that fact alone is more interesting than the series itself.
And for one last time, donât even get me started on the Shadowverse anime, the way it is, is automatically trash because itâs not like the Shadowverse game Iâve seen my older sister play occasionally, and they even made a game based on this and Iâm even shocked the series lasted this long. Glad I didnât even watch it and thank god itâs about to end soon.
Interestingly, the English version of Priconne is coming out in 2021, with Crunchyroll Games handling the localization. While itâs interesting the game is finally getting localized after 3 years the game came out in Japan, but Crunchyroll Games doesnât have quite a good history with their games, especially since the whole Danmachi game censorship false advertising controversy from 2018, so I donât think I might have high hopes of playing the game if they might have any potential features removed, not to mention having THREE years of content behind from the JP version, this is worse than waiting 2 years for FGO content from JP to EN. Besides, I donât even have space to play the game on my phone because itâs saturated with FGO, Azur Lane, Arknights and 5 thousand screenshots (Which I stored in my laptop because I didnât have enough space. Though the only way to fixed the low space was just uninstalling and reinstalling Azur Lane which I did but I wish I didnât drag all my 5k screenshots and I was trying so hard to put them back but it would take forever, so might as well save my 5k screenshots in my laptop and start from scratch).
1.- Isekai Quartet 2 - Disappointing: If Bandori Garupa Pico Ohmoriâs waste of new characters wasnât bad enough, Isekai Quartet season 2 does it a lot worse and this one in particular completely broke my heart the most, this is indeed the most disappointing anime of the year.
Just the #1 thing to explain why Isekai Quartet 2 let me down: WASTING THE SHIELD HERO CHARACTERS HARD!
Both Garupa Pico Ohmori and Isekai Quartet 2 just wasted the new characters so bad I have trouble on deciding which oneâs worse, or if I would make a tie, but I had to go with Isekai Quartet 2 because the more I think about it, the more painful it gets, even more so than Garupa Pico Ohmori.
Garupa Pico Ohmori broke my heart the most because Iâve grown to really like RAS with Bandori season 3 the season prior to Garupa Pico Ohmori, Isekai Quartet 2 broke my heart the most because I binged Shield Hero In December of last year and I really liked it months prior to Isekai Quartet 2, BUT THE WORST PART IS that they COMPLETELY overhyped the Shield Hero characters and they turned out to be minor characters! I canât believe Iâve grown to really like characters only for their potential in sequel appearances to be absolutely wasted in just a span of months! Not to mention both of the shows are absolutely unfunny and couldnât care less for the OG cast more than the new characters which I wanted to like so bad if only they didnât fuck up with their poor screentime.
With Isekai Quartet 3 coming this 2021, even though I will continue watching the series regardless, I donât have high hopes for the series anymore, if theyâll continue adding new characters from properties I donât know of or care to even bother binging their anime of origin, theyâll always end up overhyping them only for them to become minor character status.
Most anticipated anime of 2021
Thereâs like a lot of anime coming out next year and I kind of lost track of whatâs coming out so I had to research and refresh my memory, thereâs also other announced anime that are yet to resurface into the light of day (And no, donât expect Girlsâ Work, we all know thatâs never gonna happen 100%).
In my previous HajiKo Anime Fall 2020 post, I mentioned my anticipated Winter 2021 releases, you can check that out as well, but what Iâm going to talk about here is a general most anticipated anime of the year coming out.
Azur Lane Bisoku Zenshin: I talked about this in my previous post which I suggest you to check it out for more in-depth details as to why is this my most anticipated show of the season, but in this case, let me simply put because I love Azur Lane and I want more Azur Lane anime in my life, even if people would hate them or not (Preferably donât hate on them).
Dr. Stone: Stone Wars: I was seriously amazed by the series and I wish I had watched it sooner or even completely binged the series when I did the first time with the first 3 episodes at some point, although having binged the first season early this month was a pretty good time to do so as the perfect prep for season 2.
Shield Hero season 2: Isekai Quartet 2 may have disappointed me with how hard it wasted the Shield Hero characters by overhyping and making them minor characters, but by surprise, weâre getting the second season which really deserves it!
Evangelion 3.0+1.0: Hopefully no last minute delays this time, and itâs actually about to be screened in Japanese theaters soon, but what matters to me the most is whether weâll see it just in time for the Mexican release of the film. Iâm pretty sure every Mexican is gonna be thriving so hard seeing this film given my some of my previous anime film experiences in the cinema.
Thereâs no way Mexico wouldnât have Evangelion 4.0, itâs one of the most celebrated franchises in the world, probably not in the same vein as Dragon Ball which is overly popular in Mexico, and Evangelion 4.0 probably wonât have that high of a marketing or having a lot of cinemas available to my theaters, even with just one or two cinemas available, theyâll end up being filled to completely and a lot of people will scream their asses of in whatâs going to happen.
Fate/Grand Carnival (Series): The best and most insane Type-Moon comedy series returns! But this time itâs all FGO-centered now!
Given that the old Carnival Phantasm was all Fate with Melty-Blood, not everyone may like the direction of this series given that FGO is a huge success. BUT WHO CARES?! I LOVE FGO AND I LOVE CARNIVAL PHANTASM, THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE!!!
And why is the second season coming out in my older sisterâs birthday, August 25th, of all things?!
Kimetsu no Yaiba Infinity Train film: Just hoping for the film being released in Mexico. And I really hope ufotable can continue making seasons or films of the series given that the manga has now ended this year.
I just really hope they donât make the Kimetsu no Yaiba franchise as another vaporware like Girlsâ Work and the Katsugeki Touken Ranbu movie, although itâs unlikely theyâll do so given that Kimetsu no Yaiba has become a huge blockbuster series as of late, from topping One Pieceâs manga sales to the Infinity Train film being the #1 highest grossing film in Japan OF ALL TIME, itâs crazy a Shonen series got to this scale! Fate (specifically the Stay Night series) and Kimetsu no Yaiba are ufotableâs cash cows, so itâs unlikely they would drop them and make them vaporware like their other projects.
Tokyo Babylon: This and Winter 2021âČs Project Scard are actually two of GoHandsâ TV series Iâm excited, although Iâm more hyped for Tokyo Bablyon than Project Scard because I would occasionally forget Project Scardâs name, at least the full name, that is until now which I havenât been forgetting about it.
Thereâs something I have to address first because this was supposed to come out on April but it got delayed because of costume designs being referenced without permission for some reason, I find this reason incredibly weird and I donât really understand what the hell is that supposed to mean.
As far as the trailers go, the animation is looking akin to the K series, not exactly the same but somewhere...? Which I think thatâs what people are gonna like unlike Project Scard which is in the vein of Hand Shakers and Wâz, but I donât really mind, though.
The fact that this is an adaptation, an anime adaptation of a manga by CLAMP to top it all off, is quite surprising. I havenât really watched any of GoHandsâ adaptations and Iâm not sure if I would have the time to do so, but Iâm more biased towards the original stuff, and come to think of it, this is actually going to be the first adaptation by GoHands Iâm ever going to watch.
B: The Beginning Succession: Itâs been 2 long years (at least at the time of writing and publishing of this post) since I watched the first season and I really liked it, back when it was released in 2018, they even announced season 2 was happening and I completely forgot about it for so long!
Worldâs End Harem: I may or may not have heard good things about the series, probably the tone of the negative reception of the series is more like people are meme-ing this series in a terrified way for its concept or something, all of it in a very funny way, so Iâm definitely checking this out. What could go wrong? And I really hope it has better waifus than HxEROS.
Fruits Basket The Final: Now weâve finally come to the point where this anime is definitely going to adapt the manga finale for good where the original 2001 series couldnât because the manga hadnât ended at the time.
As I was researching in the Fruits Basket Wiki, thereâs a three chapter arc focused on Shigure, Ayame and Hatori which takes place around the same time as the mangaâs finale. This was actually published around the same time the first season of the remake had started airing, I donât know anything about this and I havenât read it yet, so I canât assume if this is worth reading and even worth adapting, although I do wish this is actually adapted in the final season.
Uzaki-chan season 2
Zombieland Saga Revenge: I may have a complicated relationship with Cygames nowadays with their premiere IPs, but the most decent IP they made is this one, and as a birthday present in 2018, I was impressed. Not actually quite what I was expected from looking at the first promo poster, but it was quite an entertaining idol series.
Iâm of course excited for the second season and what Iâd really love to see the most is paying off the teaser from the final episode, that teaser is too good to be wasted in this season.
SSSS.DYNAZENON: Iâd still watch this because itâs a follow-up of sorts to GRIDMAN, but my main gripe would be the character designs, some of them look cool but Iâm not very impressed, none of them scream absolute material like Rikka and Akane because boy, thereâs really a shitton of fan art and cosplays of them.
The Way of the Househusband/Gokushufudou: Iâve seen a lot of people talking about the manga, they get hyped about it a lot, itâs got a live-action series and now itâs finally getting an anime, so might as well check it out.
Godzilla Singular Point: About time a Godzilla anime thatâs not made by Polygon Pictures, and to make things better, this is actually made by Bones AND Orange, talk about a dream team!
Speaking of Polygon Pictures...
Pacific Rim: The Black: This is what Polygon Pictures are currently making, which is coming to 2021 and I might check it out as well, even though Iâm pretty lukewarm with Polygon as a studio and the Godzilla films were an absolute mess, what the hell were those? After the widely hated sequel of the original film (Though I actually liked it) and with this upcoming anime, I hope the future of the Pacific Rim franchise can be in good hands, even if itâs from a studio I may have a mixed relationship with.
Thereâs just something about Polygon that doesnât sit well with me. Sure, the CG animation can be absolutely gorgeous and even I can admit that theyâre way better than Sanzigen and Orange where they donât even do hand drawn background characters, but something still feels off with me, like the tone or whatever. Iâm probably just blindly hating on Polygon years after watching the Godzilla films and I should at least check out HUMAN LOST to get a better impression on Polygon overall.
Kaguya-sama season 3 and OVA: I was very impressed with the second season, so might as well follow the Kaguya-sama series now.
Dragon Maid S: Hopefully what Iâm about to say isnât of bad taste. The Kyoto Animation arson was one of the worst events of 2019, while the majority of the staff members are safe, there are those who did not, including the director of the first season of Dragon Maid.
One year later after millions of dollars in donations, KyoAni seems to be doing fine as of late, with their latest release being Violet Evergarden The Movie which was released this September.
Although I havenât seen any footage of Violet Evergarden The Movie for me to judge how KyoAniâs animation style after the arson would still hold up. And thatâs where the second season of Dragon Maid comes in.
Even though KyoAni isnât my most favorite anime studio, I do hope they have recovered well and got a handful of new and good staff members so theyâll keep their magic going.
Okay, Iâd better stop right there before it can get any worse. NEXT!
Shenmue anime: Shenmue 3 finally came out a few years ago but literally nobody, at least from what I know, have even talked about it, whether it was worth the wait or not, just nothing.
Given that people hate video game adaptations, this in no way shape or form could regain interest in Shenmue, or maybe it will by making people play the games in order to forget about the anime, however it may end up being.
Speaking of video game anime adaptations...
The World Ends With You anime: I never played TWEWY in my life and a lot of people really love the game, and 2021 is looking to be the best year for TWEWY fans with not only this new anime, but also a long-awaited brand new game! (Not sure if I would call it a âsequelâ of sorts but itâs 100% a brand new game).
Since this is a game adaptation and usually people hate video game adaptations, I never played TWEWY before and this is my one way to experience the story, and the animation is looking nice too. So hereâs hoping for me as a non-TWEWY player that I wouldnât be gatekept by hardcore TWEWY fans with how terrible the anime is and whatever, I donât care!
Now, like I mentioned earlier, there should be anime that have been relatively recently announced or has been announced for over a year, and they should resurface into the light of day this time. Starting with...
New Touken Ranbu Hanamaru anime: For a while I always thought the Touken Ranbu franchise is dormant at this point, mainly with no new anime, especially the Katsugeki Touken Ranbu movie being another one of ufotableâs vaporware works or they probably ditched it for good in favor of Kimetsu no Yaiba and who knows if weâll ever see anything from it.
Not that I think the Touken Ranbu series is dead, thereâs still figures and other merchandise and most importantly, the game is still alive, although I donât hear much about it but itâs definitely still alive thanks to fujo power, but I think the anime is probably what keeps me intact about the franchiseâs relevancy. (And this is coming from a guy whoâs hardcore into stuff for male demographic with lots of female characters and has a strong thirst for them. Hey, I gotta change teh pace every once in a while, okay? I do care about male characters sometimes, even my own)
One day, in January 2020, I randomly came across a post from Crunchyroll that a new Touken Ranbu Hanamaru project is coming! Finally, about time for some more Hanamaru! Now I should point out that YES the post explicitly says âprojectâ which it could be an anime, a game or whatever, and I said that this could possibly be an anime, but I still want to hope it is a new anime because thatâs the #1 thing I want the most.
Now that I think about it, since this was vaguely said as a project which means it can be a different media... Is there by any chance like some sort of manga or whatever media has actually been released throughout this entire 2020 and I may have never heard of it? I really hope there isnât any other media that I might have overlooked, and if I do find out it exists, Iâm going to be utterly disappointed.
Magia Record second cour: Given that this is a Madoka Magica series, I expected Magia Record to be an all two-cour series... But unfortunately itâs not, and to make it worse, the second cour wasnât even made until the first cour finale aired and they announced itâs in production. Like... Really? Even some ufotable shows and even the second cour of Re:Zero season 2 wouldnât announce something like that!
Inferno Cop season 2: I honestly kinda wish this shouldnât made because itâs been so long since they announced it and no new information has come out of it so far, but my main reason why I donât want this to be made is because the seiyuu of Inferno Cop himself passed away, and hearing Inferno Cop with a different seiyuu may not feel the same.
Megalobox season 2: Iâm still wondering if this is even needed given how the first season ended and how much TMS has been working on Fruits Basket and even Dr. Stone.
Made in Abyss season 2: With the film recently being released, it is now confirmed that season 2 (?) is a go. I can see this being potentially released in 2022, but Iâm still going to mention it anyways.
Anenarumono OVA: Itâs been forever since this was announced, like very early into 2020 in fact and when we get to 2021, itâs going to be a full year since this was announced and so far nothing has come of it.
This is most likely going to be an adaptation of the SFW manga series since there is an R-18 doujin series as well, if this would be a hentai OVA from the R-18 doujin series, I probably wouldnât have seen big anime news sites like Natalie Comics, AIR or even Anime News Network reporting on it and Pochi herself would have tweeted or retweeted the trailers of the hentai OVA or something.
The animation in the Okaa-san Desu Ka (Isekai MILF) series was absolutely garbage, so I really hope the animation in this one is good.
And finally, I decided to put this one to last because itâs something that it recently just got announced, it may or may not come in 2021 but Iâm very excited might as well be my #1 anticipated anime of 2021:
Chainsaw Man: A while ago, I read the first chapter of Chainsaw Man a while ago, and I thought it was cool and stuff but I wasnât sure if I would read it for my entire life, as of late Iâve been seeing quite a lot of fan art
The announcement of the anime as well as the manga ending as Part 1 were actually all leaked a few days prior to the release of the final chapter of the manga, which was December 13th, later I started hearing stuff about how the editor is straight up telling people and news pages to not do any reports about it until the official formal announcement, which that definitely confirmed it was a thing, it was pretty much an open secret.
The funniest thing is, as I was reading the manga a while ago, I thought to myself âI kind of see Chainsaw Man getting adapted by MAPPA with the looks of Dorohedoro,â I never watched Dorohedoro but from what Iâve seen with how the series look with the CG and its aesthetic, itâs perfect for Chainsaw Man, and now... The dream of MAPPA adapting the Chainsaw Man anime became true, so itâs either a dumb fantasy that came true or I actually predicted MAPPA doing the Chainsaw Man anime, you can interpret however youâd like. But with that being said about MAPPA doing the Chainsaw Man anime, it may or may not look like Dorohedoro, I donât think I would mind if the Chainsaw Man anime wouldnât look like Dorohedoro.
Now my biggest concern with the series is that it might get heavily censored because it is a pretty grotesque series and sometimes sexual, but for the most part itâs absolutely gorey, and thatâs the kind of series I like. In my Fall 2020 anime review post, in my review of Akudama Drive, I criticized how Japanese media can be inconsistent in how much can they get away with gore in some cases, and in others theyâll just paste black blurs. If the censorship can be extremely bad in the Chainsaw Man anime, it would probably be the one thing that would disappoint me so bad, and I donât want them to tone down the gore either because it would be equally lame, if not, lamer. When I read the manga, every time I see the blood, I always think of the red blood given that itâs usually colored in black, but when I see colored promos and stuff, I see the blood in various different colors other than red, Iâm not sure why it is, but if thatâs what the series in full color is, especially for the anime, I think it would be perfect for the anime to be censorship-free but itâs still unlikely, who knows, weâll see what happens.
Around the time of the announcement of the anime, I made a rant about how MAPPA can be a hit or miss for me in terms of their animation, and now that I think about it, their portofolio even, but the animation is a bigger issue for me. I also thought I would see MAPPA as a somewhat alternative to Madhouse, which is funny given that it was founded by a former Madhouse producer, but at the same time thatâs not enough for me to care about MAPPA as I do with Madhouse, or old Madhouse, Iâm probably not a fan of current Madhouse, and this goes back to their animation styles. Even if Iâm lukewarm with MAPPA, their Chainsaw Man anime is something Iâm genuinely excited for, it was something that randomly came into my mind and somehow it became true.
I might have a really high expectation that the Chainsaw Man anime should look like Dorohedoro, I really should try to lower my expectations and try to not care for how would the anime end up looking. Something with the likes of Kakegurui would be nice, maybe Jujuutsu Kaisen too (Even though I donât really watch the series but it seems like itâs quite popular right now), I just really donât want something like Granblue Fantasy season 2 because that show absolutely made me sick.
Anyway, I really love Chainsaw Man now, I wish I had read the manga sooner, especially when it came out, but now having read the manga now was a good time to do so given that the manga ended (at least in Part 1) and the anime being announced. (Although I probably forgot what the story is at this point (Except some âkey momentsâ), so the anime can help me refresh my mind)
Top 4 best video games of the year
This is my least favorite list to make in these New Year posts because I never play a single new release because for years I never had a PS4 and even now I still donât have money to buy games or to buy a Switch and games if I want to, so whenever I make these lists, I always tend to watch Letâs Plays from YouTubers I like the most (GTFO Jacksepticeye), I rarely watch all cutscenes only videos nowadays, and doing so makes me feel like this is cheating because doing these lists is more about experience by one self. Sure, some people would say you would still try to like a game just by watching, but in my honest opinion, itâs just not the same. But now this list is going to be different!
So for this list, Iâm only gonna choose the games I actually happen to play for once, I usually make these lists by including a bunch of games I havenât even played at all, so itâs finally time to make an unbiased list of video games of the year, not including ports and/or re-releases of old games or an obscure game suddenly getting attention, even if this list is awfully short but itâs the bare minimum I could make.
Iâm not sure what to make of this list, I havenât played some of the games in this list but Iâm just gonna put them for how impressive they are even by just watching anyways:
4.- Helltaker: This game became quite a sleeper hit amongst the internet, spawning countless fanart and Helltaker dance parodies. The game might be very short, but the future of the characters doesnât end there, as the creator would occasionally make comics and sometimes small art with the characters.
3.- The Henry Stickmin Collection: Believe it or not, I grew up with Newgrounds during my childhood, but Iâve never really played a Henry Stickmin game EVER in my entire life.
2.- Arknights: Over the last year, 2019, Iâve been seeing quite a lot of fan art of the game, thereâs a lot of really good character designs, I really like them all. The game at the time was only released in China, however, at the end of 2019, I was hearing that Arknights was being localized into Japanese and English simultaneously, a âglobalâ release, if you call it. Itâs localized none other than Yostar of Azur Lane fame. Anyways, enough with that talk, letâs talk about the game.
I did get to start playing the game on day 1 launch, I was quite intrigued the story, the characters, etc. Although I was at a point where I wouldnât play the game as much and only do logins, but after a few months, as I was progressing through the game and when the Grani event came out, I actually quit playing the game because... It was very hard! Thereâs a lot of strategies I have to do because there can be really hard enemies, not to mention I was quite underpowered with operators not well leveled enough.
I stopped playing Arknights for a while, that is until late April to early May where my older sister has started playing Arknights, thatâs where I immediately decided to play Arknights again, and now it has become my third game I religiously play, the first being FGO and second being Azur Lane. Over the course of the entire year, Iâve been leveling up some operators and as of now I have 10 operators I have E2âČd, so I made some significant progress, although Iâm still rough in having fully built operators because grinding for the materials is a huge pain in the ass, but sometimes it can be rewarding.
My luck with the gacha is hit or miss, sometimes I get the characters I wanted, sometimes I donât for the absolute worse. Now with the first anniversary coming, my most wanted operator is W, she and Châen are my most wanted operators, but after trying to get Châen so many times with definitely NO LUCK AT ALL, but my greatest disappointment was W yesterday, I never got W at all and only got a Phantom and TWO Weedys for six stars and I was so furious! Iâve been wanting her for so long, and the saddest part is that sheâs limited and I wonât be able to get her ever again! After all my efforts in saving a lot of orundum, materials and even making this meme, everything has gone into an absolute waste and I really bummed out!
On a lighter note, W was originally going to be a Girlsâ Frontline character but she was scrapped, which makes her a lot more interesting. (Someone even made this). I gotta say, releasing chapter 7 and W now instead of actually waiting until the day the game launched which is in January 16th, they certainly ended the year with a bang! (And with a bummer of not getting W, but still...)
UPDATE - JANUARY 2ND 2021: SHEâS FINALLY HOME!!!!!!! OFF TO A GREAT START INTO 2021!!!!
End of update.
In fact, Arknights was created by former Girlsâ Frontline developers, quite surprising. I wouldnât say Arknights is a competitor nor a spiritual successor to Girlsâ Frontline, both have completely different concepts, also, I wouldnât expect for them to ever make collab events for each other in either game. Then thereâs the character W which I mentioned previously, she actually happens to be spawned from a scrapped Girlsâ Frontline character for the AR Team, I like how people joke about W being the AR Teamâs long lost sister. As of late Iâm feeling really obsessed about W, and for a while, the fact that she was a scrapped T-Doll makes her a lot more interesting.
Given that Arknights was released last year in 2019 and we got the global versions early this year, having 1 year away from content isnât necessarily bad and Iâm better off playing the English version right now, but as of late, Yostar appears to be rushing some content released from CN into global, which thatâs a plus for me, theyâre slowly catching up to CN, just like how EN Azur Lane started with slow content but recently theyâve been releasing content ALMOST simultaneously (Not that I particularly care for EN since Iâve been playing JP a month after launch back in 2017 anyway), but the biggest problem is as I started following some Arknights dedicated accounts where they report stuff from CN and even took a bit of some livestreams, recently CNâs going crazy with amazing content that it may take a few months or a year for global to catch up, so I really hope Yostar does their best to try to release content for Arknights semi-simultaneously between CN and global a la Azur Lane.
I mainly play the EN version of the game and tend to follow the official EN channels (Though I follow JPâs too), but I found some problems with the PR behind EN. My biggest problem is that EN make some absolutely painful to watch livestreams with no seiyuu like JP does and having total nobodies as hosts (Except Intern-kun which he is kinda known and was a meme but I donât think heâs quite a meme anymore), sometimes there were two other hosts with big animal heads, and some other plethora of issues addressed by Tectone in this video, in short, some of the exclusive YouTube content the EN Arknights channel comes up with like the livestreams can be absolutely garbage.
By the way, Arknights gave us a pretty good content creator who was quite a meme, he was actually sponsored and got his infamous ad which I didnât even know this was a thing and still find it hard to believe since I use uBlock Origin to block ads. Even though he probably wasnât the best go-to content creator for Arknights news and stuff, nobody agreed on what he says and he was occasionally criticized, he was especially fun to watch his suffering in every roll. At some point around the beginning of the second half of the year, he started to do livestreams and uploaded highlight clips of said streams of games like Fall Guys and Among Us, which I thought it was a nice change of pace considering there wasnât much Arknights content at the time, but at that point, Genshin Impact was around the corner and he started making a lot of videos for it which now heâs pretty much become the Genshin Impact guy, and then he finally released that video completely declaring he absolutely retired from Arknights for good which I linked earlier in the PR issues, so after that, I stopped caring about Tectone completely. Itâs a real shame because I actually wanted to see him pull for W this first anniversary, but there are some things that pissed me off about him, he never even cared about the story, or rather the game as a whole to begin with, talk about being ungrateful to the game that made you successful and get a cult following to begin with, but the dude was harassed, so Iâd better cut him some slack.
Speaking of sponsors, I actually wished Yostar continued to sponsor Arknights but on better YouTubers like Whang, ThatGamerFromMars, the Vanoss crew, and all the other ones who get sponsored to death by Raid Shadow Legends (Raid Shitty Legends, am I right?), and the last channel they sponsored was fucking WatchMojo of all things. I mean, seriously?
Although not everything about the EN PR is bad, most of the Twitter and YouTube stuff is pretty much stuf about the game like upcoming new operators and events, and English subtitled trailers which for the most part is nothing really worth noting but this is pretty much my go-to for the news and trailers. They also have a Fankit website which I can download wallpapers and stickers, and yes, I do use the wallpapers, sometimes I do use some stickers but I like keeping them. They even team up with DJs and they actually release some pretty good music with cool CG animated music videos. Said artists happen to be from Steve Aokiâs record label Dim Mak, and even Steve Aoki himself did some music for the game and actually appeared in the Arknights 1st anniversary livestream from the EN channel to make comments about his latest track and saying he loves anime which I didnât know Steve was a weeb. (Hereâs the full livestream if you wanna watch it).
Anyways, enough PR talk, this is a pretty fun game! I probably never had prior experience in playing tower defense games, though the closest would be the PS3 demo of Plants vs Zombies, so I can say this is my #1 tower defense game and Iâd absolutely recommend to everyone.
1.- Genshin Impact: My main contender for my #1 GOTY was No More Heroes 3, but since it got delayed to 2021, there was nothing else thatâs #1 worthy for me, but enter Genshin Impact, a AAA gacha game at its finest, this became quite a big surprise of the year!
At first I wasnât hugely interested in it, but then I was constantly seeing fan arts and people talking about the game in my timeline and I was feeling left out, so I tried playing the game a bit on my phone but I barely had any space left, so I had to uninstall Girlsâ Frontline from my phone (sorry), so I had barely some space left, but the game ran extremely slow for my phone, as expected, itâs a very intensive game. Later I tried installing the game on my laptop, but because of my problem with my ethernet in my laptop constantly turning on and off, it took HOURS upon HOURS instalilng the game, that is until I got fatal errors at the last minute which completely made the installer download from 0%... TWICE! And I was done with it.
Then I was chatting with my older sister and she mentioned that the game is on Playstation, so she downloaded it, and upon seeing her play the game, it looks gorgeous, especially on her flat screen TV! Itâs better having to play the game in better graphics and in a bigger screen, so I made a separate PSN account for myself and played it and Iâm very hooked.
Probably the biggest things Iâve been seeing when the game came out were Paimon emergency food memes, Iâve been seeing a lot of memes and fan art related to these and they range from hilarious to downright disturbing (As people would meme Paimon as an âemergency onaholeâ as well). Nowadays I continue to see fan arts of Genshin Impact, particularly those of Mona, occasionally Barbara, Lisa, etc, but Mona is the most frequent.
But the problem is I'm so far behind of adventure rank and everything else from everyone else, even Ten and my older sister, I don't have a lot of characters and I don't have enough Primogens and the gacha system can really suck pretty bad with it being mostly saturated with weapons over characters. Not even FGO and Action Taimanin would they give me craft essences and weapons would be this bad, although in the case of FGO, I do get more CEs than Servants and stuff, but the way Genshin Impact presents me with low star weapons and literally no characters, it's just a hideous sight to look at.
The other problem is that since we only have one PS4 and our home consoles have always been shared, my older sister and I switch turns, but when it comes to single player games, we've always been using my older sister's PSN account, but with Genshin Impact, this is definitely our first time playing games on different accounts for the both of us for once. But the thing is, my older sister ALWAYS plays Genshin Impact, I admire her dedication but that barely gives me some time to play the game myself along with other factors why I don't do so, such as sleeping for hours, busy with other games and stuff, etc.
Playing Genshin Impact, given that it's an open world game, definitely reminds me of the good old days when I used to play Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, I destroyed that game with pretty much beating everything, but with Genshin Impact, I'm feeling like I'm out of practice with patience and playing games for hours due to my addiction of social media and other gacha games.
Then thereâs also some performance issues specifically on the PS4, sometimes there can be quite the lag on location rendering (Like when I spawn in Mondstadt and textures take seconds to render sometimes), frame drops when I did co-op in the Unreconciled Stars event, etc. I donât know about PC or PS5, but Iâm pretty sure the game would run somewhat better on PC especially.
I rarely encounter bugs in a game, but Genshin Impact is the one game that I can definitely find more noticeable bugs and other flaws more than any other game Iâve ever played in my life.
Aside from performance issues and despite not playing the game as religiously like I want to, itâs still a very solid game. Gacha has been a genre that Iâve religiously been playing for 3 years and this really speaks to me, as I used to play a lot of video games for hours in the past and just a few months after playing DMC5 on our PS4, Iâve come back to the console and spend some hours playing on it again.
If I had a PS5 for myself but with a better TV in my bedroom right now, I would have absolutely made a lot of progress on my own and boy, my older sister must be way too far ahead with our adventure ranks, the campaign and even getting better characters than I do... ;-;
Honorable mentions
And here we are, the lamest part of doing these top game lists, whether main or honorable mentions, itâs always acknowledging games for their existence and sometimes simply from watching Letâs Plays which kind of defeat the purpose of making these lists based on actual experience, but who cares? Letâs talk about the games that I may not have played but peaked my interest in the least.
DOOM Eternal: Around the time of DOOM Eternalâs release, I somehow finally got into Doom by playing the classic games (Except Doom 3, I wouldnât mind playing it, though), so I think I totally consider myself a big fan of Doom now (Even I played some WADs was breifly interested in wanting to make one), but what about Doom Eternal? Even if I had watched videos of Doom 2016, I of course liked the game for how it looks, but with Doom Eternal, it is absolutely better.
Based on what I remember seeing from Doom 2016 and with Doom Eternal, theyâre like the modern equivalents of Doom 1 and 2, particularly with the final bosses being the Spider Mastermind in Doom 2016 and the Icon of Sin in Eternal.
When I first saw Doom Eternal being announced in Bethesdaâs E3 2018 conference, as far as I can remember, I thought it would be like a random new game that has nothing to do with Doom 2016 or something, but as time went on and I kind of forgot about what I thought but now thinking back, looking at the trailers and even the actual game, my expectations have exceeded. Looking back at Doom 2016, it now pales in comparison towards Doom Eternal, from its UI to some of its more faithful monster designs from the classic Doom games!
Although even if Doom Eternal is great, there were some problems about Mick Gordon not being able to do the sound mixing for the soundtrack and all that drama, that could have ruined the game for being GOTY or something. (Iâm exaggerating but it was quite a serious problem back then).
Speaking of Doom Eternal being GOTY, Iâm seeing quite a lot of people saying that this is their GOTY, which is funny because I originally had Doom Eternal as my #1 GOTY in the main list which I later changed it to Genshin Impact in my TRUE best games of the year list with games I actually played, I still think this is GOTY, but without actual experience, itâs not worth counting it on the main list.
Resident Evil 3 Remake: Surprisingly RE3 Remake was rather divisive, probably the biggest reason I can think of as to why the game is divisive is because itâs rather short. Sure, the game is short but calling it a disappointment is an absolute understatement, as long as the game continues to have beautiful graphics from RE2 Remake, the gameplay is satisfying and has quite some spooks, itâs still good enough for me.
Call me crazy to judge the game this way considering Iâve only ever played the demo in my PS4.
Devil May Cry 5: Special Edition: I was quite surprised they actually went ahead in making a Special Edition of DMC5, I mean, I thought they wouldnât based on what they said about âno more developmentsâ for DMC5, but with the PS5, that all changed. And of course, it cannot be a Special Edition without playable Vergil who not only has a really awesome gameplay, but he has the absolute BEST theme that actually surpassed Devil Trigger. Man, Vergil always gets the best themes.
The only caviat with DMC5: Special Edition is that itâs only made for the next-gen consoles. or it has rather become the current-gen consoles as of now, that is all because Capcom wants to take advantage of the PS5 and Xbox Seriesâ technologies with the ray tracing and turbo mode, but not all hope is lost as they actually made Vergil available for previous gen consoles as DLC, so thatâs an absolute win!
A few days after he was released as the DLC, I got a chance to play as Vergil and I pretty much speedran through the Devil Hunter difficulty in 6 and a half hours, and I think Iâm almost not out of practice on playing Vergil since DMC3SE. By almost I mean that most of the time I was familiar with the controls and the movesets, but at the same time they tweaked a little bit of some of those familiar controls from what I remember and added some cool new combos. Oh, by all that I meant that heâs absolutely fun to play.
I kinda wish they did make Trish and Lady playable as well, just like in DMC4SE, but they kinda turned out to be useless throughout the story, so this could have been the only chance for Capcom to redeem themselves with the characters, but I guess not.
Among Us: The game came out in 2018, but out of the blue, it has now become a massively popular game. I had always thought Henry Stickmin was part of why Among Us is popular, but not really, it was a streamer with a lot of followers to make it happen.
To be honest, I kind of wish Henry Stickmin was as popular as Among Us, the only thing from Henry Stickmin that was apparently a big meme (Which I wasnât even aware of and never seen such memes in my Twitter timeline) is the distraction dance.
Persona 4 Golden PC: For a while Iâve been seeing news about leaks and stuff like that, I was skeptical about it, but it has finally become real.
For a while I did want to buy the game, but I didnât want to spend quite the amount of money and I was kind of skeptical of how demanding the game might be, but out of the blue, my good old Japanese friend gamer Hinosuna came to the rescue and gifted me the game (He also had gifted me Mortal Kombat 9 after it was removed from Steam a few months earlier, and with Persona 4 Golden, this is probably the last game heâll ever gift me).
Upon opening the game, the first problem I immediately encountered is the cutscenes running extremely atrocious, they were running extremely stuttery, it was so bad I had to find an all cutscenes video with Japanese language (Since I had the game set in Japanese audio), but then when it was time for the gameplay, the game isnât insanely demanding like I thought it would be for my laptop, itâs an absolute win! From what I heard about this problem with the cutscenes, itâs probably a problem thatâs only affected on laptops, so I believe people must have the cutscenes running like normal in their insanely powerful desktop computers, lucky you.
A few months later, they eventually fixed the cutscenes... Supposedly. The cutscenes for me run a little better, but they still work just as badly. Instead of having the cutscenes extremely stuttery, like I previously had, instead I may have a bit of lag but the visuals can get very glitchy, like scratched DVDs.
By the way, this happens to be the most successful PC port on Steam, given how successful it is, I completely forgot that the Catherine PC port exists and looking back at it, I canât help but laugh at how the PC port of Catherine wouldnât get to this level of success P4G has, especially because itâs a fan favorite enhanced version of a Persona game and because you probably wouldnât find a copy of the game for PS Vita if you still have a PS Vita lying around which makes this port ten times more accessible, this is how successful it turned out to be, in my opinion. I could be wrong and there can be other reasons why itâs successful, but this is my main theory.
Now, since Iâm traumatized from my PS2 dying in 2014 when I was doing Shadow Yukiko or Kanji in New Game+ after doing the bad ending, this is my chance to redeem myself, I want to get the true ending this time, especially with a new port of the better version of Persona 4 Golden! ...Or so I thought I wanted to be.
When I was playing P4G, I was trying to get 100% on my first playthrough and it puts me quite a lot of compromise, thereâs just something about playing the game windowed while looking through guides at the same time that not only makes it distracting, it completely slows me down, not to mention Iâve actually been burned out from playing the game overall...
As of now Iâm on June 29th and already doing Shadow Riseâs world, I think itâs decent progress but thatâs how far I am by early December this year after not playing the game for... MONTHS. At this point I also try not to care about following guides and just do whatever is best for me and I can try to do better when I do New Game+.
I want to go back and finish the game once and for all, but Iâm very busy with other games and other things, Iâve been held back very much on them and even when I try to play the game, sometimes on midnight, I immediately lose my patience. I donât know what to do...
Hopefully next year, Iâll try to go back and try to finish the game once and for all, I donât want to make Hinosunaâs gift a waste, Iâm really proud of him gifting me the game.
Final Fantasy VII Remake: I canât remember when was the first trailer shown in E3, 2015? Weâve come a long way and FFVII remake is finally here. Apparently I heard this is a two-part game, so I hope we wonât wait for a really long time for the second time, probably not the same amount of time as we waited for the first part, but worse, perhaps even longer.
Animal Crossing: New Horizons
Action Taimanin (English and PC): I played Action Taimanin back when it was released on mobile in Japanese in 2019, but since I was done with the campaign and there was nothing else to do, I decided to stop playing it and uninstalled it from my phone to make space, but to my surprise, I randomly happened to find out that an English version AND PC port of the game was released on Steam in October 6th, I kinda wish it did came out on my birthday so it could have been more enjoyable, but whatever.
Having known that Action Taimanin was gonna be released on PC with English translation, thatâs where I thought âItâs time to return to Action Taimanin!â unlike the one time I said I would because Rinko Akiyama was released as a playable character in the mobile game, but now I have her AND Mizuki Shiranui, which I got them both at their launch dates, I also got Emily Simmons as well but not right on time for her launch but it was still worth the wait.
Speaking of Asagi, one other surprising thing I found out about Asagi when I started playing the PC port is that they actually patched out Asagiâs voice by recasting her with a different actress, apparently it happened since late June for rather unknown reasons. For those who donât know, Asagi was originally voiced by Ami Koshimizu and now sheâs voiced by Sayumi Watabe (Whoâs claim to fame is Els from Beastars and Manaka from Aggretsuko season 3).
Square Enix Avengers: I wanted to like this game because I always had thought this would be part of the Spider-Man PS4 universe, a Marvel Gaming Universe of sorts, even if it isnât, I was still interested and I didnât tolerate how people would trash the game. The game now came out, mixed reviews and a plethora of far worse problems, like how very little the game made and low playerbase on Steam and what not. None of that stuff is my problem, I would really love to play the game now.
Dishonorable mention (?):
This is hardly a dishonorable mention in an ill matter, but something that completely shocks me, so might as well be in a disappointing sense.
Cyberpunk 2077: I was never interested in The Witcher series, but I admire them as a video game adaptation of a novel which aspires me in wanting to write novels for them to get adapted primarily into games, however, Cyberpunk 2077 was the CD Projekt Red title I was genuinely interested.
The game came out and I saw a tweet from Nibel that itâs got quite some good reviews, but over the next few days... Things started to get very sour...
The game launched at a very buggy state, it even got removed on console digital stores, the game is unplayable on consoles and money loss... Everything just feels disheartening, and itâs not fair...
This is the one game from CD Projekt Red that I wanted to start caring about as well as the studio, but after the PR mess and constant delays leading up to a messy release (at least on consoles from what I mainly hear), and everything else thatâs been happening, now it seems like people are turning against CD Projket Red which they were once highly regarded, I just hope Cyberpunk 2077 can recover so itâll eventually turn into the next timeless masterpiece like it was supposed to be after The Witcher 3.
Although not all hope can be lost as I still see some people playing Cyberpunk 2077 fine, at least on PC maybe, and thatâs enough to make me confident that not everything is all bad.
Most anticipated video games of 2021
Now weâre finally on my favorite category, and first and foremost, my most MOST anticipated game of the year is of course...
No More Heroes 3: With NMH3 finally being delayed to 2021, that was my last final nail in the coffin to care about 2020 as a whole, BUT, not ALL hope is lost! As on October 28th 2020, Suda51 actually released THE FIRST TWO GAMES into Nintendo Switch! This is an absolute win-win, I can finally play ALL No More Heroes games in the most recent console possible... Except I still donât have a Switch and I seriously need it so bad now. đ (And now Iâm hearing news that the first two games might actually come out on PC, which I donât think Iâll need a Switch anymore, at least for this, I still need it so bad to play NMH3 on launch) Iâm so glad Travis Strikes Again sold so well to make NMH3 happening, hell, it it didnât, the post-credits scene could have been a total waste and I would have been forever heartbroken!
For a long time I was skeptical for the soundtrack, I always thought it wouldnât sound anywhere near as good as the first two games without Masafumi Takada, but in reality, Takada never actually composed the soundtrack for NMH2 to begin with, in fact, he had already left Grasshopper around NMH2âČs release. But regardless, I still thought the NMH3 soundtrack wouldnât sound as good as the first two games (Sorry TSA, I havenât paid attention to your OST), but then I listened to WILD TOKYO, the first album by RED ORCA, a band formed by composer Nobuaki Kaneko, and I was very impressed, so I guess it changed my mind. Actually, the album contains three tracks that have been heard on the trailers, like âORCA FORCE,â âbeast test,â and âOctopus.â Thatâs not to say that the album is the ENTIRE soundtrack for NMH3, only these three are what are currently known based on the trailers, so who knows if the rest of the album is actually the NMH3 OST or thereâs gonna be entirely original tracks for different things.
However, thereâs one thing that Iâm scared the most is the probability of recasting Quinton Flynn from Henry (in case he might appear in NMH3 since Travis Strikes Again) due to some allegations towards him, I really hope everything that Iâm hearing is just made up bullshit that people want to cancel others they hate for no absolute reason. Although Iâm hearing all of this from word-of-mouth and nobody sources, if thereâs something thatâll immediately convince these allegations are true, is by seeing legit sources like Anime News Network, OR EVEN other actors speaking about it (Though they would most likely easily jump into the conclusion and easily agree to the allegations without any solid solid proof (Yes, Iâve seen a screenshot but I donât want to believe it)). If Henry does appear in NMH3 but he gets recast before launch or worse, AFTER launch, Iâm going to be very sad and itâll probably be one of the things that NMH3 may disappoint me.
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Ahem, my apologies. :3c
Also, I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO SEE SPOILERS, IâVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE GAME FOR A LONG TIME AND I DONâT WANT TO SEE ANYTHING UNTIL I ACTUALLY PLAY THE GAME MYSELF IF WE EVER END UP BUYING A SWITCH AND THE GAME! Iâm definitely gonna try boycotting the internet, boycott Twitter, boycott YouTube, mute every news site and journalist, etc.
By the way, on the morning of the 29th, when I made myself breakfast, I happened to talk to my mom that I want to buy NMH3 so bad and we agreed that starting on January, weâre gonna start saving for a Switch and the game, didnât expect to tell her about it sooner but I actually did it! We seriously need to buy a Switch ASAP, and I cannot afford to wait for a long time to buy a Switch AND the game even if itâll come out in other consoles, I want to play the game right on launch, Iâve been waiting for this game for a seriously long time!
I had considered making this list with NMH3 as my only most anticipated game, but there are some other releases I should look out for (Which of course Iâll probably never play because of money):
Resident Evil Village: The remake period is over (Though it ended in a conflicted way with RE3) and weâre finally back on track with completely new games, especially the sequel to RE7.
Not only thereâs a new Resident Evil game but thereâs going to be a new CGI series following Leon and Claire on Netflix as well. So weâre getting new game that continues Ethanâs story and whatever the hell is happening to Chris, while weâre also getting a new series that continues Leon and Claireâs story.
Shin Megami Tensei V: Itâs been years since we havenât heard anything about SMTV until this July where we finally got a brand new trailer and teased to be coming this year. My older sister would seriously love to play this, but we donât have a Switch yet...
MADNESS: Project Nexus (Madness Project Nexus 2): I really hope for sure theyâll release Project Nexus 2 this 2021, the gameâs been in development for a very long time and itâs constantly getting delayed, so I donât think I might have high hopes to see the game being released at this point, but even so, Iâm still going to count it as my anticipated release of 2021 (Hopefully).
I played the demo of the game, however, and I had a blast, although itâs certainly a little confusing, but my bigger problem was the framerate Iâve been getting, which the game is a little intensive and I expected the game would perform well on low end computers, but at least I manged to play it.
Iâm not very happy with how they changed the title, it went from âMadness Project Nexus 2âł to âMADNESS: Project Nexus,â the new name is absolutely confusing and someone might get mixed up with the original Flash game, or so I thought it would be as the original Flash game was eventually renamed to âMadness: Project Nexus (Classic),â which part of it makes me think itâs a remake of its own but at the same time thereâs still new additions, like new enemies and new story campaign that kinda justifies that the new Project Nexus game is still a sequel.
On the topic of Newgrounds games...
Alien Hominid Invasion: With the Castle Crashers remaster, the next Behemoth remaster is the classic Alien Hominid. Depending on how much the game will cost on Steam, I will for sure buy and play it immediately. I think Newgrounds games are best played on PC.
Before you experience the Alien Hominid remaster, you should check out the original version available in Ruffleâs demo page, which Ruffle is a new open source replacement for Adobe Flash. (Be warned that the gameâs one-hit death might frustrate you, it sure does to me and I really hope thatâs not a thing in the remaster, if not, then I guess thatâs Alien Hominidâs intended nature, although itâs probably what every side-scrolling shooter is)
Reverse Collapse: Code Name Bakery: Girlsâ Frontline may not be my top gacha games I religiously play like I wanted, and then thereâs a plethora of Girlsâ Frontline games coming out sooner, some of them are spin-offs and then thereâs Girlsâ Frontline 2: Exilium, which Iâm not interested in the least, to be honest, but there is one game that is now being re-released and localized for global audiences, and even getting retconned to be more connected towards Girlsâ Frontline, this is a game that came out years before Girlsâ Frontline and for a long time it was widely believed this game was a sequel to Girlsâ Frontline, taking place over 30 YEARS after GFL and now it is indeed confirmed! Iâm talking about Code Name Bakery, or originally called as Codename: Bakery Girl.
Even if Iâm not a huge avid player of Girlsâ Frontline like I wanted to since Iâve always been a gun aficionado and I almost donât know much about whatâs going on in the story (But thereâs my Philipino friend, Ten, to tell me), I certainly wouldnât mind to play Code Name Bakery.
Back 4 Blood: Everyoneâs pretty much referring this game as Left 4 Dead 3 because it was created by the creators of the first L4D (While L4D2 was all developed and published by Valve in-house). I kid you not, when I saw the reveal trailer in this The Game Awards, I was definitely like âIâm getting some Left 4 Dead vibesâ maybe because of the characters and the special zombies, and then the title âBack 4 Bloodâ was shown and I was like âIs this like a spiritual successor or something?â but now everyoneâs calling it Left 4 Dead 3, so Iâll have to stick with it.
And to be honest, Iâm not really sure if Iâm really interested on this one. Even if this is a new Left 4 Dead game from the creators of the original game, now known as Turtle Rock Studios, thereâs just something about the gameâs identity that doesnât sit right with me. And then looking at the pre-alpha gameplay, it just looks like any other generic first person zombie survival game with the modern graphics and stuff, the characters and the zombies donât look anything brightful and special like the first two L4D games, I wouldnât call the aesthetic bland, but everything about it just doesnât do anything to me, at least itâs not a brand new L4D by name or even by Valve, which this is published by Warner Bros Games instead and Iâm not really sure about them as publishers or their products.
As much as Iâd like to get interested in this game from the creators of the first game and people call it Left 4 Dead 3, Iâm better off with the first two games. Oh, even Left 4 Dead 2 even got updated a few months ago. Despite my skepticism, I will continue watching Letâs Playersâ videos and see if itâll change my mind.
Fate/Extra Record: This is probably gonna be a 2022 release, but Iâll be damned if it would actually come out later this 2021, so Iâm still gonna mention it here anyways.
Tookyo Games releases: This oneâs a little tricky because we all know Tookyo Games has a plethora of projects coming out, but what we donât know for sure is when some of these will come out, maybe the closest one could be Tribe Nine, but Iâm more curious about the other projects and hopefully theyâll come out this year.
And finally...
Tsukihime remake: HOLY SHIT! I canât believe itâs finally happening after all these years!
Um... I always thought that whenever we see stuff about the Tsukihime remake, I would immediately play the original game. BUT I NEVER EXPECTED THEY WOULD ACTUALLY ANNOUNCE IT FOR THIS SUMMER!
Once I'm done with some things, I'm definitely gonna go play the original!
Top 6 best movies of the Year
At first I listed all the following films in a nearly chronological order from what I remember when have seen these films throughout the entire year, but I decided that maybe I should make this list as a ranked list, even if some of the films donât necessarily impressed me so much in the least, if it werenât for COVID-19, Venom: Let There Be Carnage would have been my #1, and Morbius would have been my #2. Anyways, letâs go:
6.- The New Mutants: I wasnât able to watch New Mutants in the cinema the day it was released like I wanted, but some time later I was able to watch the film and it was pretty interesting, I liked it.
5.- Birds of Prey: Never knew I needed a full R rated DCEU movie (Though itâs not the first one. The first one is the R rated cut of Batman v Superman but I donât know how itâs different from the theatrical cut), thereâs still some ties but I feel like this kinda feels more like a standalone film, but it was quite fun. This kind of serves as a good road to The Suicide Squad.
4.- My Hero Academia: Heroes Rising: I mentioned this a couple of times because this is probably the only thing I can say about the film, but this is actually the last film I saw before the pandemic broke out.
Though one thing I have to say about the My Hero Academia movies is that I wish the manga can actually make references to the films so it would acknowledge they exist because sometimes I canât thoroughly figure out the timeline or flat out call them non-canon (Which they arenât), and the villains are immediately forgettable. Although given whatâs currently happening in the manga (and itâs completely nuts), I doubt the manga would ever reference the films.
3.- Parasite: This was a 2019 release (I think), but after the Oscars this year, it was ran in my theaters so I had to watch it before I watched Sonic the Hedgehog next. After seeing the film, I find it pretty interesting, not to mention the ending shocked me, but in all honesty, I wasnât like completely amazed as I was with Joker, even my family thinks that they prefer Joker over Parasite, thatâs not to say it didnât deserve to win Best Picture in the Oscars, but Parasite as a film doesnât mean anything special to me.
2.- Wonder Woman 1984: I wasnât looking forward to see the film in my birthday because I didnât want anything other than Venom 2 since it got delayed because of COVID, but later it got delayed to Christmas and I was glad.
December came, the film comes out a week earlier in Mexico than in US and HBO Max, I saw the film and it was actually better than I expected, I think I like it better than the first film. Now that I think about it, maybe I wished Wonder Woman 1984 wasnât delayed because my birthday was so disappointing and boring without anything special to see. Although even if I liked WW1984 so much, I donât think it probably would have been the best birthday film I would have seen if it didnât get delayed, but it was still worth it.
Thereâs one particular thing about the film I liked very much, but since the film recently came out, itâs too soon for me to put spoilers, but Iâll redact them in ROT13, you may or may not want to decode this, itâs your choice:
[V ybir jung gurl qvq gb gur Jbaqre Jbzna punenpgre, gurl jrag shyy pynffvp Jbaqre Jbzna jvgu gur vaivfvoyr wrg naq sylvat, juvpu vf fbzrguvat V unira'g frra irel bsgra va ure zbqrea vapneangvbaf nf bs yngr.]
But then thereâs the moment when I start getting the feeling of wanting to pee so bad, and the worst part is it started around halfway or the quarter of the film. Then in the filmâs climax, my bladder was dying so bad that... Believe it or not, I had to empty my soda cup and actually pee on it! I DIDNâT HAVE ANY OTHER CHOICE, OKAY?! Geez, I really should limit myself how much soda should I drink, but I even took a pee in my home before leaving! What an awful way to end my older sister and Iâs cinema experience of the year, having our bladders nearly exploding.
When the credits started rolling, I was slowly standing up, I was putting my belt on and somehow I happened to see a mid-credits scene I never knew it would have, although itâs nothing hugely worldbuilding significant, but [Vg'f whfg n fznyy sha fprar jvgu Ylaqn Pnegre nf Nfgrevn.]
At this point the DCEU is definitely going to have post-credits scenes, maybe I should check the news beforehand whether the upcoming movies have post-credits scenes or not, I always thought the DCEU wouldnât have post-credits scenes, but since Suicide Squad, Justice League and even recently Aquaman, it should be time that I should sit all the way to the credits, maybe just any other movie in general too.
1.- Sonic the Hedgehog: I had some fun watching this film and I think I actually liked it better than Detective Pikachu in terms of pacing. Can you imagine watching this film with the awful old Sonic design from the very first trailer? I donât think I would have liked this film with the old Sonic design the same way as I do now. Iâm glad that a sequel is even happening now.
Honorable mention
Promare: This was a 2019 release and Iâve been waiting for so long for it to come out in my theaters, Konnichiwa Festival disappointed me with the 2020 line-up and all of it was history for early in the year before the pandemic.
When the pandemic has broke out, I randomly happened to watch Promare in my house, torrented from the Blu-Ray rip, and BOY, I WAS SO AMAZED WITH THE FILM, SERIOUSLY! I think it was for the best seeing Promare at home in case the cinema might have had full of Mexican weebs screaming their asses off.
Around September, my dream of Promare coming out to my cinema has finally come true! The day my family and I went to see The New Mutants, we have planned to see Promare right after we finished watching The New Mutants, although we didnât get to see TNM because there were some technical issues with the screenings in the cinema for some reason.
So we waited over 3 hours to see Promare, my older sister and I got into the cinema to see the film, and the experience... Was rather lukewarm.
In one hand, my older sister and I were the ONLY ones seeing Promare late that night, but on the other hand, the way the film was screened was an absolute mess. I donât know what to blame, the aspect ratio or the subtitles because the subtitles were almost non-existent, it was as if we were seeing a raw anime film in Japan. It was so bad that my older sister did NOT understand what even happened in the story. Given that I had seen the film, I tried my best to try to explain her what was Gray planning with the Burnish but my brain pooped out and couldnât continue. Later I told her to look for spoilery summaries or something and she says she may have somewhat gotten the context of the film, but it doesnât feel right to me. Iâm not sure if she has looked up on spoiler summaries now.
Things get worse when I realized seeing The New Mutants and Promare in the same day could have been the second time I could have seen two films in the cinema in the same day since February with Parasite and Sonic The Hedgehog.
Another weird thing I havenât thought a lot is that this wasnât actually distributed by Konnichiwa Festival like most other films, this was actually distributed by none other than CinĂ©polis themselves with the +QUE CINE thing, and that makes me lead to believe that either the screenings from the cinema or Cinepolis themselves butchered really badly the subtitles.
The cinema experience may have been an absolute disappointment, but it was no doubt a very good experience seeing the film upclose in the cinema with the gorgeous animations and visuals, and my older sister and I being literally the only ones who have seen the film, it makes a new record of seeing a film with my family all alone since 2017 with Kong: Skull Island with me, my mom and a random dude.
Most anticipated movies of 2021
This next list is going to be different, as Iâm going to count a couple of movies per entry, more like categories for different kinds of franchises that Iâm most excited to see, so here goes.
Venom: Let There Be Carnage, Spider-Man 3 and Morbius: Since 2018, this is the second best time to be a Spider-Man fan! (However, we wonât see Spider-Verse 2 until 2022) My #1 most anticipated film of 2020 was of course Venom: Let There be Carnage, I seriously wanted to see it so bad but because of COVID, the film got delayed until like June or July. I was seriously pissed as the film was gonna be released on October 2nd which that could have been my one chance to see a Venom film IN MY BIRTHDAY, ONE FUCKING CHANCE, and Sony wasted it! Given that it was October, it could have been a good time to have the film released but seems like the COVID situation wasn't getting any better.
There's also Morbius which I'm genuinely curious as to how they're actually building up the Sony Venomverse with the MCU since the end of the trailer features Michael Keaton's Adriam Toomes from Spider-Man: Homecoming. Yeah, so far this sounds really complicated, but I'm sure it'll all be clear once we see the film.
And lastly there's Spider-Man 3 (Working title) which is probably the hypest out of the three films on this list. For a while, the news I've seen were about the posiblity of Kraven the Hunter being the film's villain, and there wasn't anything else after that, there wasn't much special things for the film and I always saw it as a follow up to Far From Home which I would still see. Then there were news of Doctor Strange being the next MCU hero to be featured in a Spider-Man film since Iron Man in Homecoming and Nick Fury in Far From Home (who turned out to be Talos the Skrull from Captain Marvel throughout most of the movie), this was certainly interesting, but as time went on... Things started to get wild. There were reports of Jamie Foxx returning to Spider-Man 3 as Electro, possibly the very same version from The Amazing Spider-Man 2 or just an MCU version of Electro, who knows but the fact that they're casting Jamie Foxx since TASM2 was quite interesting, but wait, that's not the craziest part, later I started to see news of Alfred Molina cast as the Doctor Octopus AGAIN, and for the final blow... Rumors of Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield possibly returning into Spider-Man 3 and a leaked video from an official Latin American Sony channel that said "Who's your favorite Spider-Man? You might see all Spider-Men at once, anything is possible" or something like that...
OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! THEY'RE DOING LIVE-ACTION SPIDER-VERSE?! HOLY SHIT, DON'T DO ME LIKE THIS! I'M NOT PREPARED!
The rumors about Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield returning for Spider-Man 3 as their Spider-Men might be a hoax and it's all rumors, sure, but it might not even be a hoax at all! For more solid proof that this could potentially be a live-action Spider-Verse film, in the Disney investors meeting, they confirmed that Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (Which happens to be directed by Sam Raimi of all people, and it's coming in 2022) CONFIRMED that actually ties to Wandavision and... "THE NEXT SPIDER-MAN FILM." So there you go! That pretty much confirms it now that they might actually be doing live-action Spider-Verse now! This is actually going to be the BEST live-action Spider-Man film ever!
With all these Spider-Man 3 live-action Spider-Verse news, I completely forgot about the news that Kraven was gonna be in the film, I really hope they might still include him in some way in the film as Tom Holland Spider-Man's villain, and it isn't explicitly confirmed that Jamie Foxx's Electro and Alfred Molina's Doc Ock are either the same versions as their original versions or completely new MCU versions of the characters, who knows.
This is lowkey confirmed with the Disney investors meeting that the Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness ties to the next Spider-Man film, but what if all the live-action Spider-Verse stuff may not end up being true? In case if it's not true and it'll be just like Far From Home where it can continue Spider-Man's story from where the post-credits left off, I would still see Spider-Man 3 anyway, I'm always down for whatever MCU or Spider-Man film may end up be.
I know I wanted to see Venom: Let There be Carnage so bad, especially for my 21st birthday which I didn't get anything to watch and my birthday end up being a disappointment, but the problem is, we still haven't seen a proper trailer or anything, even for a film that was supposed to come out in October before it was delayed because of COVID! So far they only released a teaser trailer of the title and the new release window, and I really hope early this year, we can expect some trailers anytime soon, although the first Spider-Man film coming out this 2021 is Morbius.
So yeah, since 2018, 2021 is going to be the second best year to be a Spider-Man fan!
Black Widow, Eternals and Shang-Chi: First letâs talk about Black Widow because Iâm the most scared of how the film is gonna be received given that when the concept art was shown at Comic Con and then the first trailer was released, people absolutely hate Taskmasterâs design, I mean, sure, he may not look comic accurate but aspects of it still kinda look like the comics and HE LOOKS BADASS! WHATâS WRONG WITH EVERYONE?! THEREâS NOTHING WRONG WITH TASKMASTERâS DESIGN! Another thing is that Iâm feeling that Black Widow may become Captain Marvel 2.0 where people hate the film for no reason, for a while there was some hate around the film because of some shit with Brie Larson and whatever, but most of the hate Iâve seen all goes towards the film quality, I donât really see anything wrong with the film when I saw it, itâs rather decent, but with that said, I couldnât stop thinking for the entire movie that thereâs nothing wrong with this, etc.
I don't think even my older sister would wanna see Black Widow either as she never even cared about the character in Avengers: Endgame and she liked a tweet where someone said "Marvel making everything military sucks so much" which NO, IT FUCKING DOESN'T! I LOVE MILITARY AESTHETICS AND SHIT, YOU JUST HAVE SHIT TASTE, MY GUY!
The next films coming out are The Eternals and Shiang-Chi, although there's not much to talk about them since we haven't seen any trailers or anything so far, but I'm definitely gonna watch them.
I'm of course gonna be watching every single MCU-related thing, whether it's the movies or the Disney+ shows, I will follow everything! And no, I don't do this out of obligation (Someone in the RPG Site Discord server told me that and I'm forever pissed about it), it's called doing things religiously!
And speaking of the Disney+ shows...
BONUS: Wandavision, The Falcon & Winter Soldier, Loki, What If?: This is kind of a miscellaneous list as these are actually series in a movies list, thatâs weird but deal with it. Say what you want about Disney+, and thereâs quite a lot of MCU Disney+ shows coming Iâm losing track which ones are coming out in 2021, but I think these four are what are coming this year.
Probably the series Iâm most excited to see is Falcon & Winter Soldier, I have no idea what is even going on with Wandavision and Loki, as for Wandavision, since that oneâs coming out in two weeks, I have to watch it as a lead up to Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness in 2022, as for Loki, I donât realy understand it in the least so far. What If, thereâs not much to talk about, itâs literally just âWhat Ifâ with alternate versions of the filmsâ events, although I do admire the animation, itâs not Spider-Verse tier but it looks very nice.
I got a mail from PayPal offering me 250 pesos to subscribe to Disney+, I donât think there may be an expiration date somewhere in the mail so I really hope the offer would still last, but until Wandavision comes out, Iâm definitely willing to pay for Disney+.
Several Warner Bros. releases: Around early December, it was announced that all of the upcoming Warner Bros films of 2021 will be released on theaters AND HBO Max at the same time! Thatâs insane! It sounds really interesting, although Iâm not sure if I would watch all the films in HBO Max, I would still love to go to the movie theater, depending on how much HBO Max costs and when is it coming out in Mexico. Also, thatâs not to say that I would like to see them ALL, no no, I will only see the films that Iâm interested the most:
Mortal Kombat: I actually loved the original Mortal Kombat films when I was a kid, although Iâve actually seen the second one and I still have the DVD which I bought when MK9 was released, although even that scene with CGI dragon Liu Kang cringed the shit out of me when I was a kid. For a while I heard this would be coming out in January 15th 2021 but itâs now coming to April, which is for the best because I havenât seen any trailers or anything from it so far.
Tom & Jerry: Iâm not sure if i would like to watch this, Iâm feeling that maybe I would like to do so, so far this is kind of a bizarre concept but what I greatly admire is how Tom and Jerry are animated, it makes me think of Space Jam.
Godzilla vs. Kong: I started following the Monsterverse since Kong: Skull Island and before Iâve seen Godzilla: King of the Monsters in the cinema, I saw the first film, I like this series so far, and I canât wait to see this one.
Space Jam: A New Legacy: Iâm surprised how secretive the news and the marketing has been, every time Iâve seen this trending on Twitter, I never see these big movie news sites like The Hollywood Reporter, Deadline, not even IGN were reporting about a legit Space Jam 2 teaser trailer at some point, or the film in general as of late, for that matter.
The Suicide Squad: Just my usual tradition of watching whatever DC films, whether theyâre DCEU or not, and this appears to be DCEU, or at least having the same actors playing certain characters. If thereâs one thing I would complain about this, is the title, just âThe Suicide Squadâ when the first Suicide Squad film which is titled âSuicide Squadâ is really stupid.
Dune: I just need something to watch on cinemas in my birthday, this year was a disappointment since Venom: Let There Be Carnage was delayed, if it werenât for COVID-19, I would have gotten a great birthday film that might have even surpassed Joker.
The Matrix 4: This one Iâm genuinely curious to see and know what the hell is even going to happen in the film considering how the original trilogy ended. And for a while before COVID broke out, it was originally gonna be released with John Wick Chapter 4 at the same time, it would have been insane to have double Keanu Reeves films being released simultaneously and I have to choose one over the other, but Iâm glad both films got delayed and theyâre not being released simultaneously anymore.
Justice League Snyder Cut: This oneâs kinda miscellaneous since this entire list is basically the recently announced films that are coming to the cinema and HBO Max at the same time, and I actually kept forgetting about this one and this oneâs treated more as a series. Weâve come a long way since the Release the Snyder Cut campaign happened for years, and by a miracle, itâs finally happening. This film, or rather series, feels more like a remake of the Justice League film with some of the archived footage from the Snyder Cut before Zack Snyder left the project from his daughterâs passing, but apparently new scenes are being filmed. I really hope this saves the DCEU because as of late I canât tell if the films are actually connected anymore (With the exceptions of Joker, The Batman, etc).
Mission Impossible 7: Since Fallout, I think Iâm going to start following the Mission Impossible series from now on. Note that thereâs Mission Impossible 8 coming out in 2022 as well.
That's all I have to discuss about my best and worst of 2020 and my most anticipated 2021 releases, boy, I seriously wrote a lot for everything and that's probably what took the most of my time to write this post (Aside from my laziness), but I really hope you liked my best and worst of 2020 and my most anticipated releases of 2021. And moving on...
Now itâs time for the one category that itâs always all talk and never deliver, I may contradict what the following headline will be, but it's pretty much what's going to be true...
No more resolutions
Yeah, I can't even bother writing these same tiring resolutions I'm not gonna even fulfill over and over. It's an endless cycle.
Drawing every day.
Behaving better.
Working out.
Writing my novel.
Give me a break. Is there seriously a point in telling you all these resolutions that I supposedly want to do but I never end up doing anything anyways? And if I were to actually do these resolutions, I wouldnât tell you about it. (I read a study with a headline âIf you want to be successful, donât tell others about itâ or something like that, which Iâm still telling you about these resolutions I want to do and end up failing anyways)
Let me break things down in parts about my expected future:
Behavior:
In terms of doing homeworks with my mom: Yesterday on the 30th, she just told me there's already homework but it's for January 11th and we'll do it on the 4th, it's not even 2021 and we're already off to a great start, although it's something that my mom has to read from, so I hope it'll be fine for now, but for future homeworks, I don't have the highest hopes for it because I'm easily trigger happy in these homeworks, there's seriously a lot wrong between all of us in how we do these homeworks, we make our lives miserable if it weren't for my older sister's stupid forced pension that she has to study no matter what, and then like my mom's pension, my pension or whatever there is that we get money, either they don't give us enough money or my mom always end up spending most of the money in groceries that would last for a week and other things, this is bullshit!
In terms of people's opinions: I seriously wish I could not give a shit about what literally everyone says about certain things, not even my family, but that shit is just everywhere and I really can't help but make at least one comment that something's not bad or whatever, I said this countless times but I'm very trigger happy.
In terms of artists: I'm going to continue be a douchebag and criticize their art and themselves behind their backs in my private Discord server, whether in public channels or privately if shit gets insanely serious.
Working out:
I'd seriously love to start working out immediately right now, but given how extremely cold as shit my country is, it just motivates me a lot less to start working out! Besides, my mom hasn't even bought the mat like we talked about for ages, she always forgets about it and I'm always waiting for her to deliver, but even if I would like to start working out, I would still have to eat fats instead of actually going in a diet, can't go back to the gym because of COVID, and most of all, I'm so fucking lazy. I always tend to do one workout for one day and that's it, I never do it daily. This and what I'm going to talk about above are something I can't develop a daily routine of!
My drawing skills and my future of my project:
I now have a Wacom Intuos that is bundled with 3 programs, but I only installed Clip Studio Paint because that's what I care the most, the other programs are trials and they're worthless as shit, I did make at least two pictures to mess around but as of late I've barely been touching it because I'm still having a hard time figuring out what to do with the brushes and stuff and I'm so obsessed in having the brushes default, default brushes with default settings, etc. I'm just not too comfortable tweaking the brushes to my preference and changing the sizes is gonna be extremely hard depending on what canvas size for my pictures would be and having to tweak the brush sizes for the canvas is so inconsistent!
As for the future of my project, I really want to continue bringing my project to life, and now that I have a Wacom Intuos, if I really put myself to try to sketch every day and everything in order to improve my art style, hopefully drastically, I can actually try to make my project in a much better format, especially comics, I would love to return to draw comics because, I said this numerous times, I used to draw comics mindlessly when I was a kid, but two years later, I somehow got a slump and just like that, I stopped drawing comics for good, but now if I try to figure out my story right, I may actually bring my project as comics, literature can suck my dick! And because I'm an artist, it's best to make art for my project all by myself since literally nobody I asked wants to work with me!
I seriously had no idea how to write, never even bothered to read books and everything else to even care about the basics and essential of writing, I always thought it would have been an easier way to bring my story to life and make adaptations of them as soon as possible. I seriously had no idea what kind of story should my project be, I was extremely unconfident about it and... I don't want to say this but I seriously hated what I was doing with my novel, my writing was obviously shit and it gave me nothing but headaches, I gave up. Although it's not like I completely cancelled the project and lost interest in it, it will always live on... inside my head with constant brainstorming and headcanons.
I had a plan to deliver my project and make it successful immediately overnight and try to make the series go big ASAP in 10 YEARS, but now after giving up writing the novel, I completely wasted 1 year, so now I have 9 years to do this shit. The reason why I want to rush now is because I want my franchise to exist, I want to work with my favorite actors and other creators before some of them retire or pass away, and I SERIOUSLY cannot let this opportunity and dream go to waste!
Even though I have Clip Studio Paint now and I would love to make comics, my copy of Clip Studio Paint that was bundled in my Wacom Intuos is Pro, the features are very limited, so there's not much I can do about that. My other options in trying to bring my story to life are either making visual novels or RPG Maker games, those sound like very valid choices, but there are still some limits. If I were to make VNs, I would have to learn how to use Renpy, my art has to be good and I have to hire some people to do some extra things like I don't know, backgrounds and even the background music and sound effects which I can't even afford to do all that. Then there's RPG Maker, I bought RPG Maker MV when it was at a crazy good discount in the Steam Summer Sale but I opened it for a few minutes and I have no idea what to do, I try to watch numerous tutorials on how to use it but I still don't understand, another thing that I don't like about RPG Maker is that some programming is still needed somewhere, I have no fucking clue about programming, and RPG Maker always advertises itself as a somewhat easy engine, talk about false advertising. Besides, RPG Maker games arenât as relevant where they become overnight hits and turn into franchises as they used to be anymore, so it really doesnât do me any favors. So I guess my only choice is try to continue creative writing in some form, I have a better way in how to do things without the old fashion boring ass way, I would have to indicate what character says what and everything has to be in present tense, kinda like the visual novel elements in some games, and I won't give a shit about what anyone says about my writing format, there's no other way.
Even though I haven't really abandoned the project out of my life and will always continue brainstorming headcanons and different stuff, I hate to say this, but I think my project has grown to have an identity crisis. Everything I brainstorm are pretty much copying from literally everything I see, like movie scenes or even the entire movies, especially the MCU movies with wanting to make my own version of Avengers: Endgame mixed with Crisis on Infinite Earths.
Another weird thing about my brain is that, for years, I've always had a mood on wanting to make a Kingdom Hearts-like series with my project and some other franchises, and believe it or not, my crossover candidates were Persona and Danganronpa. No, this wasn't intended to be for fanfiction purposes, I wanted to legitimately make them into a reality! One day I eventually dropped the Persona and Danganronpa crossover idea with my project and opted towards literally making Americanized discount rip-off characters to be copyright-free and to fit in my story (Although eventually they have evolved into their own characters). Everything seemed well enough but my brain is coming back to this fantasy of making a Kingdom Hearts series but with Arknights. There's a lot to discuss about that but I don't want to get into further details.
So yeah, pretty much my originality only resides within the characters and their designs, everything else like the stories and some elements, rather of calling them "inspiration," it's more like heavily borrowing or straight-up copying, so I have no idea what to do with my series at this point. Not to mention that I constantly brainstorm all these things which they're all for stuff that comes LONG after the first installment of my project which I'll never release, and it makes me not wanting to go back into that. Another criticism my older sister gave me about my project is that I tend to create a lot of characters only to show off their designs and never give them any purpose, and I guess it shows.
I said this before but Iâll say it again:
What I love about my project is that I always use my imagination, everything just feels satisfying when I can think of every scenario possible and even make drawings because pictures are worth a thousand words. Whate I hate about my project is the act of doing it, showing it off, explain to some people if you're prepared, something like that.
Maybe my project shouldn't exist. In fact, it already exists, how I want the video game and other adaptations, everything exists, inside my head. They have and will always be in my head, and there's a lot more stories and characters to come. I have seen everything and they're exactly like I always wanted, I'm completely satisfied. There's no need for my project to really exist, only for me to become poor, a total nobody, and even if it were a best seller, it might get adapted in the wrong hands, but in the end, it doesn't matter because I always know I won't even succeed, it won't be an instant crazy hit and it will never be as time passes.
(That two paragraphs above is pretty much my copypasta to talk about my project)
Another thing I'm questioning in my life right now is...
My future as a Custom Maid Twitter account:
Lately I don't really make a lot of Custom Maid screenshots on my own, sometimes I do but they're mostly collabs, and I would occasionally tell people to make collab pictures with our OCs together, sometimes it does happen but the frequency of these collab screenshots happening have decreased drastically, not to mention that there are some that weren't interested, which kinda sucks
To be honest, I really haven't been motivated on making Custom Maid screenshots at all. The game runs so slow given that I have a lot of the game's content and mods which most of them I barely use, and I have no idea what screenshots to make, even if I were to look at prompts, not to mention I created some characters which I barely ever used and I almost never get immediate attention when I post my screenshots. I seriously want to retire from doing Custom Maid because of what I just said with my motivation and stuff, and then there's the whole drama with maidin which I mentioned a long scroll up ago which really affected me so much. I even had prepared some legacy files compiling my presets and my screenshots.
Even if I say numerous times that I want to retire or I'm done, I'm still considering that maybe I shouldn't quit, but even if I'm not retired, I still have no plans or even interest to make screenshots again, so I'll have to talk to some of my JP mutuals and Ten about it. After what I did to maidin, I feel like I'm no longer want to be part of the Custom Maid community and I don't want to be a burden on it. Hinosuna who was the one person I followed the most hasn't made screenshots at all as of late for 6 months and I doubt he will ever return, let alone talking to the guy ever again, and there's another person who blocked me for no reason after telling him about my birthday a day later which I did tell him I was from Mexico, talk about being xenophobic.
So there you go, my not-so category talking about my resolutions, I seriously didn't want to talk about this since I'm not even gonna do shit about the things that I want anyway, but I did it. Still, keep in mind that I'm probably not gonna be able to do any of these because of my sheer laziness and gaming addiction. Please let me know what to do with all this and hopefully it can change my mind.
Conclusion
Phew! This was an insanely long ride! I never expected I would write so much shit, and if you managed to read literally everything, congratulations, you're a madman. This is definitely the longest post I've ever written in my life!
Pretty much everything I've written here have been made with a lot of thought and effort, most of the stuff I wrote on this post for a while was my Best and Worst of the Year and Anticipated Releases category, although most of the time I was kinda lazy and only wrote little by little with everything else, and hours prior to the publishing of this post, I kinda rushed on the very end of the post, but I think I did a pretty good job into everything I made. And no, I won't even bother making a TL;DR about it.
Although to make things short, everything was an absolute mess, but my personal problems are always the worst of my life which makes every year automatically bad for my health, but on the bright side, 2021 is looking to be the very best year with the best releases ever, so I'm really looking forward to all of that!
I did mention my private server, I wouldn't like to disclose anything about it, but as of late, it has become more like a home to me, I don't check Twitter as much like I used to and this server is why I rarely go to any other Discord servers ever. Always being on my Discord server and keeping an eye on it be like:
(I know I said I wouldn't like to invite anyone into my private server ever again, and I also choose to not make my server public, but if there's a mutual that I REMOTELY like, I can DM you the invite link, if you're someone I find meh or I don't like, you can fuck off)
As for my resolutions, and most importantly on what to do with my drawing skills and project, I guess we'll have to see if I can deliver or not.
Anyways, this was a really tough year but thanks for continuing to support me throughout this entire year, for better and for worse. Hopefully things will get better this 2021 and we can be free again.
Happy New Year!
My Carrd - I did some improvements as well!
Every image featured in this post in high resolution - Because if youâre reading this post from the link I send instead of the Tumblr homepage (which I donât think anyone even uses Tumblr anymore), my theme makes the images look incredibly small and as much as I like this theme, this is something I definitely hate. (Iâve been redoing this album numerous times by fixing something and adding at least one new image)
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In the Covid-19 Economy, You Can Have a Kid or a Job. You Canât Have Both. â The New York Times
But my family, as a social and economic unit, cannot operate forever in the framework authorities envision for the fall. There are so many ways that the situation weâve been thrust into, in which businesses are planning to reopen without any conversation about the repercussions on families with school-age children, is even more untenable for others.
Frequently Asked Questions and Advice
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Whatâs the best material for a mask?
Scientists around the country have tried to identify everyday materials that do a good job of filtering microscopic particles. In recent tests, HEPA furnace filters scored high, as did vacuum cleaner bags, fabric similar to flannel pajamas and those of 600-count pillowcases. Other materials tested included layered coffee filters and scarves and bandannas. These scored lower, but still captured a small percentage of particles.
Is it harder to exercise while wearing a mask?
A commentary published this month on the website of the British Journal of Sports Medicine points out that covering your face during exercise âcomes with issues of potential breathing restriction and discomfortâ and requires âbalancing benefits versus possible adverse events.â Masks do alter exercise, says Cedric X. Bryant, the president and chief science officer of the American Council on Exercise, a nonprofit organization that funds exercise research and certifies fitness professionals. âIn my personal experience,â he says, âheart rates are higher at the same relative intensity when you wear a mask.â Some people also could experience lightheadedness during familiar workouts while masked, says Len Kravitz, a professor of exercise science at the University of New Mexico.
Iâve heard about a treatment called dexamethasone. Does it work?
The steroid, dexamethasone, is the first treatment shown to reduce mortality in severely ill patients, according to scientists in Britain. The drug appears to reduce inflammation caused by the immune system, protecting the tissues. In the study, dexamethasone reduced deaths of patients on ventilators by one-third, and deaths of patients on oxygen by one-fifth.
What is pandemic paid leave?
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So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was âvery rare,â but she later walked back that statement.
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Under the best of circumstances, the impact on children will still be significant. Students will lose most of a year of learning as parents â their new untrained teachers â cannot supervise in any meaningful way while Zooming into the office. At best, the kids will be crabby and stir-crazy as they donât get enough physical activity because theyâre now tethered to their parentsâ work spaces all day, running around the living room in lieu of fresh air. Without social interactions with other children, they constantly seek parental attention in bad ways, further straining the mood at home. And these are ideal scenarios.
But what about kids who cannot learn remotely? What about kids who need services that are tied to schools? Or those who are at higher risk for complications if they get the virus and might not be able to go back even one week out of the three?
When learning plans for children with special needs could not be followed appropriately this year, academic gains for many students were quickly wiped out. Remote learning has already widened racial and socioeconomic achievement gaps because of disparities in access to technology tutors. As parents are crushed by the Covid economy, so are the children who need the most support. Itâs no wonder the American Academy of Pediatrics released a statement this weekend urging that students be physically present in school as much as possible this fall.
The long-term losses for professional adults will be incalculable, too, and will disproportionately affect mothers. Working mothers all over the country feel that theyâre being pushed out of the labor force or into part-time jobs as their responsibilities at home have increased tenfold.
Even those who found a short-term solution because they had the luxury to hit the pause button on their projects and careers this spring to manage the effects of the pandemic â predicated on the assumption that the fall would bring a return to school and child care â may now have no choice but to leave the work force. A friend just applied for a job and tells me she cannot even imagine how she would be able to take it if her children arenât truly back in school. Thereâs an idea that people can walk away from careers and just pick them up where they left off, even though we know that women who drop out of the work force to take care of children often have trouble getting back in.
And lest you think itâs everyone vs. teachers, I cannot imagine a group this situation is less fair to. Teachers are supposed to teach in the classroom full-time but simultaneously manage remote learning? Even in non-pandemic times, teachers would tell you that they already work unpaid overtime on nights and weekends, just planning and grading. Where, exactly, will the extra hours come from? For teachers with their own school-age children, the situation isnât just untenable, itâs impossible.
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For 4 Days, the Hospital Thought He Had Just Pneumonia. It Was Coronavirus.
The lawyer, 50, was struggling to breathe. His neighbor took him to a nearby hospital, in an affluent suburb about 20 miles north of Midtown Manhattan. He seemed to have just pneumonia. Doctors put him in an ordinary room on the fifth floor.It would be more than four days before anyone figured out what actually ailed him: the new coronavirus. The discovery on March 2 that the man, Lawrence Garbuz, was infected was the first indication that the virus was circulating in New York through community spread.Within days, it would emerge that Mr. Garbuz â who is from New Rochelle, N.Y., and had not traveled to one of the known hubs in the world for the illness â was part of a cluster of more than 90 cases, the largest concentration on the East Coast. For many New Yorkers, his case was the moment they learned that the coronavirus was already here.But the larger realization came as state and city health investigators untangled Mr. Garbuzâs case by retracing his steps and interviewing those he came in contact with. Soon, these investigators would discover how just one undiagnosed case can wreak havoc on a hospital and spread anxiety across a region.Over his four days at NewYork-Presbyterian Lawrence Hospital in Bronxville, N.Y., Mr. Garbuz came in contact with dozens of doctors and nurses, the workers who brought his food and cleaned his room, the porters who helped move him around and the respiratory technicians who made sure his ventilator was working. And other patients, too.At least eight workers have been tested, and one was confirmed to have the virus, the authorities said last week. Many more, including doctors, are in quarantine, although the hospital would not specify a number.âThose employees and other caregivers who cared for the patient have been identified, and follow-up steps â isolation, monitoring and testing as needed â are underway,â Kate Spaziani, a spokeswoman for the hospital system, said.In New York City, the authorities have sought to assure the public that the health care system can absorb an influx of coronavirus patients with the 1,200 hospital beds that are available. But hospitals may face another shortage: health care workers who have become sick or are put in quarantine after exposure to coronavirus patients.Patricia Edmund-Sealey, an organizer for 1199 S.E.I.U., the union that represents nurseâs assistants, phlebotomists and many other staff members at Lawrence Hospital, said many workers there were concerned that they had been exposed to the coronavirus. âMany of them had contact with the patient or the patientâs family,â she said.She described the episode as a preview of what may happen in New York State, where more than 170 cases had been confirmed as of Tuesday afternoon.âYou can think of the trickle effect that will have, how that will impact care,â Ms. Edmund-Sealey said. âThatâs what will happen now that weâre in crisis.âThis article is based on interviews with several people who work at Lawrence and came into contact with Mr. Garbuz during his stay there. (He was later transferred to a hospital in Manhattan, where he remained on Tuesday.) It will be some time before public health officials determine how many people at the hospital end up being infected.Regardless, better understanding of what happened over Mr. Garbuzâs four days at Lawrence, which has about 290 beds, could help other hospitals more quickly make diagnoses in the future. It could provide insight into how hospitals might limit the number of people exposed to each patient. In the larger picture, it may help contain the spread of an outbreak.âHe is a very caring hardworking person who constantly cares for his clients and those around him over himself,â Adina Lewis Garbuz, Mr. Garbuzâs wife, said about him on Facebook. Both of them work at a law firm in Manhattan. âI think it is from this that he was run down and susceptible to the illness he acquired. So, I ask all of us who are running on the hamster wheel of life, particularly us New Yorkers, to learn from this and take a moment to take care of yourself.âAn X-ray taken shortly after Mr. Garbuz arrived at Lawrence on Feb. 27 seemed to show he had pneumonia. He was taken to a room on the hospitalâs fifth floor, but then was moved to another room. At first, he was walking on his own. But as his breathing troubles worsened, he told hospital workers that he could no longer walk. He was given a wheelchair.With his health deteriorating, he was moved again, this time to the critical care unit on the third floor. Each of these moves brought him into contact with more staff members and patients.âItâs a whole bunch of people that have been exposed,â said one hospital employee, who was asked to self-quarantine because of contact with Mr. Garbuz. The worker said that had Mr. Garbuz been recognized as a coronavirus patient, he would have been placed in isolation. Health care workers would have entered his room only while wearing protective gear.âHe should have been in a negative-pressure isolation room,â the worker said, referring to rooms that are kept at a slightly lower pressure to prevent airborne pathogens from escaping. But as far as the hospital staff knew, the worker said, âhe was just a regular patient, a regular guy who came in.âOver the past few months, as the coronavirus spread to more than 100 other countries, infecting more than 116,000 people, hospitals in New York trained some staff members on how to effectively use protective gear and safely treat patients with the illness. But all these procedures assumed that the workers would be able to quickly determine which patients might be infected.âWeâre always watching the front door and everyone is looking for that patient with fever and cough or travel, but how else could it come in?â Michael Phillips, the chief epidemiologist for the N.Y.U. Langone Health System, said in a recent interview. âI bet you the breaches happen when patients are not recognized immediately.âHe said some past outbreaks, like SARS in 2003, were driven by transmission in hospitals. âTheyâve come from the unrecognized patient, deep in the hospital,â he said.Howard Markel, a professor of the history of medicine at the University of Michigan and an author of books on epidemics, said doctors and nurses must consider patients with undiagnosed illnesses who were coughing and complaining of respiratory symptoms as possible coronavirus patients.âI think you have to suspect this disease until proven otherwise,â he said, referring to Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus.Over the weekend of Feb. 29, Mr. Garbuz had visitors, mainly family members, at Lawrence Hospital. Two people who were in his room at various points recalled perhaps a dozen or so visitors, though they acknowledged that they may have double-counted people who made multiple visits.But at least three members of the Garbuz family now have the coronavirus. So does the neighbor who drove him to the hospital, which has worried the valet attendants who park cars there.âIt is possible that we might have parked the car of the patient,â said Nilo Ismael Ramon, a valet-parking worker.During that weekend, Mr. Garbuzâs health worsened. He began to grow panicky as he struggled to breathe. An X-ray showed his lungs to be in poor shape â âfull of cobwebsâ is how a person described the image â and much worse than they had been just days earlier. But if any of the doctors treating Mr. Garbuz suspected the coronavirus, they do not appear to have acted on it, several members of the hospital staff said in interviews.âTo the doctors there, his travel and exposure history did not seem to indicate the likelihood of exposure to coronavirus,â said a health care provider with direct knowledge of the case.By March 1, Mr. Garbuz was intubated and put on a ventilator to help him breathe. Intubation, which involves inserting a plastic tube into a patientâs windpipe, can lead to the virus becoming aerosolized, and more infectious to health care workers in the room, experts say.During earlier outbreaks of other coronaviruses, including SARS, a lot of transmission occurred in hospitals âduring procedures like intubation,â said Stephen Morse, a professor of epidemiology at the Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University.A spokeswoman for NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, which owns Lawrence Hospital, declined to say whether staff members in the room at the time were wearing protective gear such as N95 respirator face masks, which offer more protection against the new coronavirus than surgical masks.But even with the treatment, Mr. Garbuzâs condition was not improving. Doctors decided to transfer him to NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Medical Center in Manhattan.Without any special precautions, he was loaded into an ambulance on Sunday night and driven into the borough. Two days later, Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo announced that a man from Westchester County who had stayed at Lawrence Hospital had tested positive for the coronavirus. Read the full article
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Stop Blaming Tuskegee, Critics Say. Itâs Not an âExcuseâ for Current Medical Racism.
For months, journalists, politicians and health officials â including New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo and Dr. Anthony Fauci â have invoked the infamous Tuskegee syphilis study to explain why Black Americans are more hesitant than white Americans to get the coronavirus vaccine.
This story is from a partnership that includes NPR, KQED and KHN. It can be republished for free.
âItâs âOh, Tuskegee, Tuskegee, Tuskegee,â and itâs mentioned every single time,â said Karen Lincoln, a professor of social work at the University of Southern California and founder of Advocates for African American Elders. âWe make these assumptions that itâs Tuskegee. We donât ask people.â
When she asks Black seniors in Los Angeles about the vaccine, Tuskegee rarely comes up. People in the community talk about contemporary racism and barriers to health care, she said, while it seems to be mainly academics and officials who are preoccupied with the history of Tuskegee.
âItâs a scapegoat,â Lincoln said. âItâs an excuse. If you continue to use it as a way of explaining why many African Americans are hesitant, it almost absolves you of having to learn more, do more, involve other people â admit that racism is actually a thing today.â
Itâs the health inequities of today that Maxine Toler, 72, hears about when she asks her friends and neighbors in Los Angeles what they think about the vaccine. As president of her cityâs senior advocacy council and her neighborhood block club, Toler said she and most of the other Black seniors she talks with want the vaccine but are having trouble getting it. And that alone sows mistrust, she said.
Toler said the Black people she knows who donât want the vaccine have very modern reasons for not wanting it. They talk about religious beliefs, safety concerns or a distrust of former U.S. President Donald Trump and his contentious relationship with science. Only a handful mention Tuskegee, she said, and when they do, theyâre fuzzy on the details of what happened during the 40-year study.
âIf you ask them âWhat was it about?â and âWhy do you feel like it would impact your receiving the vaccine?â they canât even tell you,â she said.
Toler knows the details, but she said that history is a distraction from todayâs effort to get people vaccinated against the coronavirus.
âItâs almost the opposite of Tuskegee,â she said. âBecause they were being denied treatment. And this is like, weâre pushing people forward: Go and get this vaccine. We want everybody to be protected from covid.â
Questioning the Modern Uses of the Tuskegee Legacy
The âTuskegee Study of Untreated Syphilis in the Negro Maleâ was a government-sponsored, taxpayer-funded study that began in 1932. Some people believe that researchers injected the men with syphilis, but thatâs not true. Rather, the scientists recruited 399 Black men from Alabama who already had the disease.
Researchers told the men they had come to Tuskegee to cure âbad blood,â but never told them they had syphilis. And, the government doctors never intended to cure the men. Even when an effective treatment for syphilis â penicillin â became widely available in the 1940s, the researchers withheld it from the infected men and continued the study for decades, determined to track the disease to its endpoint: autopsy.
By the time the study was exposed and shut down in 1972, 128 of the men involved had died from syphilis or related complications, and 40 of their wives and 19 children had become infected.
Given this horrific history, many scientists assumed Black people would want nothing to do with the medical establishment again, particularly clinical research. Over the next three decades, various books, articles and films repeated this assumption until it became gospel.
âThat was a false assumption,â said Dr. Rueben Warren, director of the National Center for Bioethics in Research and Health Care at Tuskegee University in Alabama, and former associate director of minority health at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention from 1988 to 1997.
A few researchers began to question this assumption at a 1994 bioethics conference, where almost all the speakers seemed to accept it as a given. The doubters asked, what kind of scientific evidence is there to support the notion that Black people would refuse to participate in research because of Tuskegee?
When those researchers did a comprehensive search of the existing literature, they found nothing.
âIt was apparently a âfactâ known more in the gut than in the head,â wrote lead doubter Dr. Ralph Katz, an epidemiologist at the New York University College of Dentistry.
So Katz formed a research team to look for this evidence. They completed a series of studies over the next 14 years, focused mainly on surveying thousands of people across seven cities, from Baltimore to San Antonio to Tuskegee.
The conclusions were definitive: While Black people were twice as âwaryâ of participating in research, compared with white people, they were equally willing to participate when asked. And there was no association between knowledge of Tuskegee and willingness to participate.
âThe hesitancy is there, but the refusal is not. And thatâs an important difference,â said Warren, who later joined Katz in editing a book about the research. âHesitant, yes. But not refusal.â
Tuskegee was not the deal breaker everyone thought it was.
These results did not go over well within academic and government research circles, Warren said, as they âindicted and contradictedâ the common belief that low minority enrollment in research was the result of Tuskegee.
âThat was the excuse that they used,â Warren said. âIf I donât want to go to the extra energy, resources to include the population, I can simply say they were not interested. They refused.â
If you say Tuskegee, then you donât have to acknowledge things like pharmacy deserts, things like poverty and unemployment,
Karen Lincoln
Now researchers had to confront the shortcomings of their own recruitment methods. Many of them never invited Black people to participate in their studies in the first place. When they did, they often did not try very hard. For example, two studies of cardiovascular disease offered enrollment to more than 2,000 white people, compared with no more than 30 people from minority groups.
âWe have a tendency to use Tuskegee as a scapegoat, for us, as researchers, not doing what we need to do to ensure that people are well educated about the benefits of participating in a clinical trial,â said B. Lee Green, vice president of diversity at Moffitt Cancer Center in Florida, who worked on the early research debunking the assumptions about Tuskegeeâs legacy.
âThere may be individuals in the community who absolutely remember Tuskegee, and we should not discount that,â he said. But hesitancy âis more related to individualsâ lived experiences, what people live each and every day.â
âItâs What Happened to Me Yesterdayâ
Some of the same presumptions that were made about clinical research are resurfacing today around the coronavirus vaccine. A lot of hesitancy is being confused for refusal, Warren said. And so many of the entrenched structural barriers that limit access to the vaccine in Black communities are not sufficiently addressed.
Tuskegee is once again being used as a scapegoat, said Lincoln, the USC sociologist.
âIf you say âTuskegee,â then you donât have to acknowledge things like pharmacy deserts, things like poverty and unemployment,â she said. âYou can just say, âThat happened then ⊠and thereâs nothing we can do about it.'â
She said the contemporary failures of the health care system are more pressing and causing more mistrust than the events of the past.
âItâs what happened to me yesterday,â she said. âNot what happened in the â50s or â60s, when Tuskegee was actually active.â
The seniors she works with complain to her all the time about doctors dismissing their concerns or talking down to them, and nurses answering the hospital call buttons for their white roommates more often than for them.
As a prime example of the unequal treatment Black people receive, they point to the recent Facebook Live video of Dr. Susan Moore. When Moore, a geriatrician and family medicine physician from Indiana, got covid-19, she filmed herself from her hospital bed, an oxygen tube in her nose. She told the camera that she had to beg her physician to continue her course of remdesivir, the drug that speeds recovery from the disease.
âHe said, âAh, you donât need it. Youâre not even short of breath.â I said âYes, I am,'â Moore said into the camera. âI put forward and I maintain, if I was white, I wouldnât have to go through that.â
Moore died two weeks later.
âShe knew what kind of treatment she should be getting and she wasnât getting it,â said Toler of L.A., contrasting Mooreâs treatment with the care Trump received.
âWe saw it up close and personal with the president, that he got the best of everything. They cured him in a couple of days, and our people are dying like flies.â
Toler and her neighbors said that the same inequity is playing out with the vaccine. Three months into the vaccine rollout, Black people made up about 3% of Californians who had received the vaccination, even though they account for 6.2% of the stateâs covid deaths.
The first mass-vaccination sites set up in the Los Angeles area â at Dodger Stadium and at Disneyland â are difficult to get to from Black neighborhoods without a car. And you practically needed a computer science degree to get an early dose, as snagging an online appointment required navigating a confusing interface or constantly refreshing the portal.
White, affluent people have been snatching up appointments, even at clinics intended for hard-hit Black and Latino communities, while people of color have had trouble getting through.
Itâs stories like these, of unequal treatment and barriers to care, that stoke mistrust, Lincoln said. âAnd the word travels fast when people have negative experiences. They share it.â
To address this mistrust will require a paradigm shift, said Warren of Tuskegee University. If you want Black people to trust doctors and trust the vaccine, donât blame them for their distrust, he said. The obligation is on health institutions to first show they are trustworthy: to listen, take responsibility, show accountability and stop making excuses. That, he added, means providing information about the vaccine without being paternalistic and making the vaccine easy to access in Black communities.
âProve yourself trustworthy and trust will follow,â he said.
This story is from a partnership that includes NPR, KQED and KHN.
KHN (Kaiser Health News) is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues. Together with Policy Analysis and Polling, KHN is one of the three major operating programs at KFF (Kaiser Family Foundation). KFF is an endowed nonprofit organization providing information on health issues to the nation.
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