#like arin kept perseverating on 'you gotta either move forward or step back'
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I looked at it. still a lot of self-absolution, "did my best" shit. she wants to know how to "get back to a better place". I went to show arin and she took herself out into the weeds and then got frustrated to find that she was in the weeds. so that like. doesn't really help.
I texted back something about how it'll never fully go away but the best thing to do right now is let it heal over on its own.
also it occurred to me that an email newsletter fixes the kirblog problem. I'll have to give it a couple weeks to make it look unsuspicious.
#like arin kept perseverating on 'you gotta either move forward or step back'#and it's like babe. I literally just asked you this morning if we could rescue the last of my shit from her house.#how is that not stepping back.#and even though she's been sitting here watching this shitshow for 8 years she's still like 'there must be a pattern I'm not seeing'#bestie she's using classic emotional abuse techniques are you fucking asleep#and then she decided to brainstorm a response even though it 'feels like self-harm' to her#none of which I asked for#I literally just wanted external validation that I'm not making it all up because she's fucking gaslighting me again#intentionally or not she is telling me my reality isn't true#'we were going through a really hard time' bitch we're going through a really hard time right now#but I *never* let arin get away with treating me the way you did.#and she's my wife - my ostensible equal#you were my parent. the ultimate authority over a child.#so of course it's fucking worse that you did it. of course I couldn't stop you.#but it really frustrates me that arin still seems so completely fucking ignorant of the situation at hand#like she just ignored everything mom did actively in the past 8 years let alone all the shit she did before#and it scares me.
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